WEBVTT - I Choose …To Love Again 0:00:01.720 --> 0:00:09.520 You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Welcome, 0:00:09.640 --> 0:00:12.480 my friend. I'm so happy you decided to hang out 0:00:12.520 --> 0:00:16.640 with me today. I cannot wait to start talking about 0:00:16.760 --> 0:00:21.720 choices with you and how our choices determine our paths 0:00:22.320 --> 0:00:24.959 moving forward in life. I have so much in store 0:00:25.000 --> 0:00:28.479 for you. I promised you that I would share some 0:00:28.560 --> 0:00:30.720 stories from my life, and that is what I'm going 0:00:30.800 --> 0:00:34.000 to do today. I want to tell you about the 0:00:34.040 --> 0:00:38.680 time I decided to let love in again. But hold on, 0:00:38.760 --> 0:00:42.280 let's do that thing. Let's go back in order to 0:00:42.400 --> 0:00:43.120 go forward. 0:00:44.400 --> 0:00:44.760 Okay. 0:00:45.680 --> 0:00:49.479 In twenty twelve, I went through a very public and 0:00:49.520 --> 0:00:54.360 painful divorce. I spent the next couple of years grieving 0:00:54.880 --> 0:01:02.840 and ventually healing. When I find resurfaced into the world, 0:01:03.040 --> 0:01:08.160 back into society, people started encouraging me to get back 0:01:08.200 --> 0:01:12.440 out there start dating again. That thought honestly made me 0:01:12.480 --> 0:01:18.280 feel sick. But when the time felt right, I started 0:01:18.280 --> 0:01:21.679 dipping my toe into that pool. And let me tell you, 0:01:21.880 --> 0:01:27.280 my dating pool was pretty shallow. It was basically set ups, 0:01:27.880 --> 0:01:31.680 friends of friends kind of thing. I had no idea 0:01:31.959 --> 0:01:34.240 what I was doing, what I was hoping to find, 0:01:34.720 --> 0:01:40.240 who I would find. It was pretty brutal. I was 0:01:40.640 --> 0:01:47.480 awkward and needy, not a very attractive combo. When I 0:01:47.480 --> 0:01:52.840 look back now, I see a very lost lady just 0:01:53.000 --> 0:01:57.280 trying to feel loved again. I was putting way too 0:01:57.360 --> 0:01:59.880 much importance and focus on getting a man to love 0:02:00.080 --> 0:02:05.080 me again. It was like I was throwing spaghetti against 0:02:05.120 --> 0:02:08.079 the wall, just trying to figure out what would stick. 0:02:08.919 --> 0:02:12.360 Some of my choices were odd to others, odd to 0:02:12.400 --> 0:02:17.440 even me, and in my confused and sort of weakened 0:02:17.600 --> 0:02:22.080 state of self understanding, I saw myself attaching my worth 0:02:22.680 --> 0:02:26.040 to these guys who had no idea who I really 0:02:26.200 --> 0:02:31.919 was and who were just not right. Yet I tried 0:02:32.280 --> 0:02:35.800 so hard to make each one of them love me. 0:02:36.560 --> 0:02:41.680 I so wanted to succeed in a relationship, and who knows, 0:02:41.760 --> 0:02:46.440 maybe maybe I was trying so hard because I wanted 0:02:46.440 --> 0:02:48.720 to show my ex what he had lost, what a 0:02:48.760 --> 0:02:52.120 mistake he had made. Whatever it was, it wasn't working. 0:02:53.200 --> 0:02:55.880 I decided to take a break from searching for that 0:02:56.000 --> 0:02:59.280 kind of love altogether and just focus on my girls 0:02:59.320 --> 0:03:02.960 and my job. I was doing a sitcom at the 0:03:03.000 --> 0:03:07.160 time called Mystery Girls. I was also building a house, 0:03:07.240 --> 0:03:11.320 a home for my new family, which was just me 0:03:11.880 --> 0:03:15.920 and the girls and our dogs, and I gotta be honest. 0:03:16.240 --> 0:03:20.600 I like that vibe a lot more than dating. It 0:03:20.639 --> 0:03:23.760 was really turning into a good time in my life. 0:03:24.480 --> 0:03:27.920 I was finding my self worth again, and I was 0:03:27.960 --> 0:03:32.800 feeling confident and capable of being out there on my own. 0:03:33.200 --> 0:03:37.280 I was reinventing my life. I was doing a lot 0:03:37.320 --> 0:03:40.800 of work on myself, and I started to think ahead. 0:03:42.000 --> 0:03:47.280 My therapist, Wade High. Wade encouraged me to make a 0:03:47.320 --> 0:03:51.000 list of my non negotiables. The things that I had 0:03:51.080 --> 0:03:56.280 learned were top priorities in my next relationship, and here 0:03:56.320 --> 0:03:58.800 are a few of them. Number one a family man, 0:03:58.840 --> 0:04:02.200 a man who puts family form first top of the list. 0:04:02.760 --> 0:04:08.680 Number two a man who keeps his word honesty very 0:04:08.720 --> 0:04:12.960 important to me. Number three someone who could make me laugh. 0:04:13.840 --> 0:04:17.640 I really needed some laughter in my life. Number four, 0:04:17.800 --> 0:04:21.640 someone who was confident enough in who they were to 0:04:21.760 --> 0:04:25.240 let me shine. Also a man who never complained about 0:04:25.240 --> 0:04:27.960 how much luggage I packed for a trip. And there 0:04:28.000 --> 0:04:30.880 were others, but I don't remember what they are right now. 0:04:31.680 --> 0:04:34.080 So that was my list, my list of non negotiables. 0:04:34.560 --> 0:04:37.599 That's what I did so I would know when someone 0:04:37.680 --> 0:04:41.040 came along and checked the boxes. But all the while 0:04:41.160 --> 0:04:44.760 I was asking myself, do I even really ever want 0:04:45.160 --> 0:04:48.640 a man in my life again? Which, as you know, 0:04:48.760 --> 0:04:51.960 as a middle aged woman who's gone through a divorce, 0:04:52.040 --> 0:04:55.479 that's a valid question to ask yourself. So now it 0:04:55.560 --> 0:04:58.800 was the end of twenty fourteen, and what they say 0:04:59.320 --> 0:05:03.600 is true. It happens when you least expect it, and 0:05:03.640 --> 0:05:06.400 it helped me tell the story. I want to introduce 0:05:06.440 --> 0:05:10.359 you to the man who loves to let me shine. 0:05:11.680 --> 0:05:15.920 I want you all to meet my hubs, Dave Abrams, Hi, babe. 0:05:16.160 --> 0:05:20.159 I was thinking we could talk about how we met. 0:05:20.640 --> 0:05:22.320 Oh yeah, I like that story. 0:05:22.360 --> 0:05:24.600 I mean, you know, people like to know these stories. 0:05:24.880 --> 0:05:29.520 Everybody loves a what's it called a cute meat meet. 0:05:29.839 --> 0:05:33.320 I don't like cute me because you know ours of 0:05:33.720 --> 0:05:35.520 ours was a blind meet. 0:05:35.520 --> 0:05:39.440 Cute. Do you remember the story? Because I remember you 0:05:39.760 --> 0:05:41.280 get a lot of You get a lot of flak 0:05:41.400 --> 0:05:42.159 for your memory. 0:05:43.360 --> 0:05:46.080 I do, but I remember the story. 0:05:46.120 --> 0:05:48.520 Do you want to tell it? Yeah? How about you? Sorry, 0:05:48.600 --> 0:05:51.080 we'll go with that, okay. So what was what was 0:05:51.120 --> 0:05:53.360 your perspective on a blind date? 0:05:53.440 --> 0:05:56.200 I thought I was going to talk Oh my god, okay, 0:05:56.400 --> 0:06:00.640 my friend who was uh seeing a guy who was 0:06:00.680 --> 0:06:03.560 younger than her. She had just been divorced not that 0:06:03.640 --> 0:06:05.880 long ago, and now she was seeing a younger man. 0:06:05.960 --> 0:06:07.920 I was like, oh, that's so cool. When we started 0:06:07.920 --> 0:06:10.240 we chatted. She was a school friend, yeah, school friend, 0:06:10.240 --> 0:06:12.560 a mommy friend of mine at school, and I remember 0:06:12.600 --> 0:06:15.720 we were on our yearly camp out at El Capitan, 0:06:17.200 --> 0:06:20.680 uh huh, and she said to me, would you be 0:06:21.480 --> 0:06:25.480 open to meeting my boyfriends, one of his best friends. 0:06:26.600 --> 0:06:30.080 And I was like, I wasn't really even like at 0:06:30.080 --> 0:06:32.359 the place of wanting to meet anybody, but I was 0:06:32.400 --> 0:06:35.200 at the place in my life after the divorce where 0:06:35.200 --> 0:06:37.120 I had done a ton of work and I was 0:06:37.279 --> 0:06:43.039 finally happy on my own. I felt really strong, really confident. 0:06:43.400 --> 0:06:46.240 And then she said that to me, and I was like, okay, 0:06:46.640 --> 0:06:48.960 I'll practice. Let me practice. I need to practice dating. 0:06:48.960 --> 0:06:51.800 So I went what they set up a blind date 0:06:51.960 --> 0:06:54.839 basically with us, and it was like a double date. 0:06:55.040 --> 0:06:56.440 Do you remember when you googled me? 0:06:56.960 --> 0:06:59.359 Oh that was yeah, that's true. 0:07:00.040 --> 0:07:02.200 People do that. Yeah, everybody. 0:07:02.200 --> 0:07:04.200 You're gonna go out with somebody and it's you know, 0:07:04.240 --> 0:07:05.719 a blond day you google them. 0:07:05.960 --> 0:07:08.520 Yeah, but you know there was at the time. I 0:07:08.520 --> 0:07:10.760 don't know if I don't know, if Dave Abrams the 0:07:10.840 --> 0:07:14.400 Chippendale dancer, if you're out there, Dave, he's out there. 0:07:14.520 --> 0:07:15.880 You got a nice physique. 0:07:16.400 --> 0:07:20.559 Yeah, because when you google Dave vid or Dave Abrams, Yeah, 0:07:20.600 --> 0:07:22.600 he was coming up a Chipendale dancer. 0:07:23.120 --> 0:07:25.920 Google's all it's all something else, it's all Jenny and Dave. 0:07:26.240 --> 0:07:27.400 It's just Jenny and David. 0:07:27.480 --> 0:07:30.320 Anyways. But I thought I was going on a double 0:07:30.400 --> 0:07:31.840 date with a Chippendale dancer. 0:07:31.960 --> 0:07:33.960 Yeah, little did you know? 0:07:34.280 --> 0:07:36.800 No, I knew by the time I got to the restaurant, 0:07:36.960 --> 0:07:40.000 I knew you were a Chipendale's dancer. But I did 0:07:40.040 --> 0:07:45.200 walk in. I did walk in, and immediately what. 0:07:45.120 --> 0:07:47.000 The bar was a crowded by the way, you were 0:07:47.040 --> 0:07:50.320 late whatever. Do you know how many minutes late? You 0:07:50.360 --> 0:07:53.320 were like, oh my god, you do yeah, fifteen minutes late. 0:07:53.320 --> 0:07:53.920 We had to wait. 0:07:54.000 --> 0:07:56.800 Are you sure it wasn't sixteen minutes, No, fifteen okay. 0:07:56.520 --> 0:07:59.880 For sure. And you were wearing all black and you 0:08:00.000 --> 0:08:02.200 out of your hair was cut at a bob and 0:08:02.280 --> 0:08:06.960 a bob. That's cute. Looking back, you ordered like. 0:08:06.960 --> 0:08:11.119 Wait, I was talking, this is what happened. I was saying. 0:08:11.120 --> 0:08:13.360 When I walked into the thing, into the bar. It 0:08:13.400 --> 0:08:18.720 was crowded, and immediately my eyes went to a tall 0:08:18.800 --> 0:08:25.400 man standing at the bar, like your typical actor, like 0:08:25.720 --> 0:08:28.280 LA guy that really handsome. 0:08:29.520 --> 0:08:30.600 I'd tee offense to that. 0:08:31.200 --> 0:08:36.120 And immediately I said, oh m hmm. And then they 0:08:36.160 --> 0:08:41.040 introduced me to you, and you were that guy. 0:08:41.080 --> 0:08:46.000 Well, we sat down us four, and we ordered some drinks. 0:08:46.679 --> 0:08:51.920 You said nothing, and then they proceeded to talk. I 0:08:52.040 --> 0:08:53.080 kind of didn't say anything. 0:08:53.160 --> 0:08:55.800 I didn't really feel social. I wasn't in a social 0:08:55.840 --> 0:08:58.480 mood to begin with for some reason. Yeah, and then 0:08:58.520 --> 0:09:01.480 it just it felt awkward. I felt like I was 0:09:01.520 --> 0:09:03.040 being interviewed almost, and. 0:09:03.120 --> 0:09:05.280 They were talking about nine oh two and oh, and 0:09:05.440 --> 0:09:08.840 I was like, I, all, I don't I don't know 0:09:08.880 --> 0:09:09.280 the show. 0:09:09.480 --> 0:09:10.199 You never watched it. 0:09:10.440 --> 0:09:14.160 No, I didn't know. I mean my sister did. But 0:09:14.240 --> 0:09:17.400 I mean I knew. I mean obviously I knew of you. 0:09:17.520 --> 0:09:20.599 I googled you. You Google. The first thing out of 0:09:20.679 --> 0:09:22.440 my mouth when I was approached to go in the 0:09:22.440 --> 0:09:27.439 state was oh, she's three kids. All right, Well whatever, 0:09:27.480 --> 0:09:31.040 I'll go. Ah and yeah. 0:09:30.800 --> 0:09:32.719 Wait, you probably should have really thought that through a 0:09:32.760 --> 0:09:33.280 little bit more. 0:09:33.400 --> 0:09:37.800 I mean, yeah, yeah, that's probably a thing I don't 0:09:37.840 --> 0:09:43.640 really think. So I went in there and yeah, you 0:09:43.640 --> 0:09:48.560 didn't say a word and you ordered pasta and salt. 0:09:49.679 --> 0:09:51.599 It was a very foodie restaurant, and you know I 0:09:51.600 --> 0:09:52.200 don't like food. 0:09:52.480 --> 0:09:54.760 Looking back, yeah, I was like, oh, do you want 0:09:54.800 --> 0:09:59.160 to try this? This this place is really good fish pasta. Yeah. 0:10:00.280 --> 0:10:01.040 No, I'm. 0:10:03.240 --> 0:10:08.480 Like anyways, looking back, it makes complete a get it. 0:10:09.200 --> 0:10:14.600 And then we left the restaurant. They were leaving and 0:10:15.240 --> 0:10:18.320 you're we were going to valet. You gave the ticket. 0:10:18.400 --> 0:10:20.400 Your car got pulled up right in front of mine. 0:10:20.840 --> 0:10:22.800 I was saying, I walked over to you and I 0:10:22.840 --> 0:10:25.520 was like, after what did we say? Like three sentences 0:10:25.520 --> 0:10:28.440 of each other. I was like, well, it was really 0:10:28.520 --> 0:10:32.320 nice meeting you. Can I call you sometime. It's kind 0:10:32.360 --> 0:10:34.200 of like a like you were going to be like, no, 0:10:34.600 --> 0:10:37.560 see you and you're like no, but you can follow me, 0:10:38.280 --> 0:10:43.400 And I was like, I first thought was oh on Instagram. No. 0:10:43.559 --> 0:10:45.920 She was like, no, dummy, follow me in your car. 0:10:46.920 --> 0:10:50.200 So we were on the yeah, and then you like 0:10:50.200 --> 0:10:52.400 like a like a bat out of hell. 0:10:53.240 --> 0:10:54.600 I wanted to get out of there. 0:10:54.440 --> 0:10:57.800 And I don't drive fast, and I like, I've been 0:10:57.800 --> 0:10:59.920 accused of driving like an old man, I do the 0:11:00.080 --> 0:11:02.840 speed limit. My motto is I don't. I ain't got 0:11:02.840 --> 0:11:06.320 nowhere to be. That's gonna kill me. Okay, and you 0:11:06.480 --> 0:11:09.160 flew and we were in silver Lake. 0:11:09.320 --> 0:11:12.880 I needed to I did that intentionally. I drove like 0:11:12.920 --> 0:11:15.760 that intentionally, and I spoke to you like that intentionally 0:11:15.760 --> 0:11:20.040 because I needed to know if you were on the 0:11:20.040 --> 0:11:24.000 same level as me, like, hmmm, a little crazy, spontaneous, 0:11:24.080 --> 0:11:26.040 a little a little wild. 0:11:27.000 --> 0:11:30.280 Okay, well, yeah, I guess I was. You were. I'm 0:11:30.280 --> 0:11:33.959 not like that though I probably would have went over 0:11:33.960 --> 0:11:37.719 and went to bed, but I followed you. We went 0:11:37.760 --> 0:11:40.200 to this little place called Cafe. 0:11:39.880 --> 0:11:42.600 Stella, had a little drink at the bar. 0:11:43.280 --> 0:11:45.280 We got to know each other, and you. 0:11:45.080 --> 0:11:48.600 Started to make me laugh. Yeah, almost instantly, and I 0:11:48.679 --> 0:11:52.000 was like, hey, he's not just a pretty face. He's 0:11:52.040 --> 0:11:54.440 actually funny and fun to hang out with. I like 0:11:54.480 --> 0:11:58.920 this guy, and you were hot, which started just like 0:11:59.120 --> 0:11:59.920 change my mind. 0:12:00.200 --> 0:12:04.920 Well thank you for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, And I 0:12:04.920 --> 0:12:11.800 thought you were like fun and beautiful and refreshing and 0:12:11.960 --> 0:12:16.760 to the point, not a lot of bullshit. When we 0:12:16.880 --> 0:12:19.360 left Cafe Cella, I walked you out to the valet. 0:12:20.120 --> 0:12:22.640 And was that our first kid? 0:12:23.880 --> 0:12:24.160 That's it. 0:12:24.200 --> 0:12:26.160 I don't remember it. How was it? 0:12:26.160 --> 0:12:30.920 It was good? I got tingles, yeah, and then we 0:12:30.920 --> 0:12:34.600 said goodbye. I lived kind of closed. You lived in 0:12:34.679 --> 0:12:37.040 Studio City, so you lived a little bit further away. 0:12:37.240 --> 0:12:40.240 I got home right but right when I pulled into 0:12:40.240 --> 0:12:44.520 my driveway, I remember getting a text and you said, 0:12:44.640 --> 0:12:45.800 you want one more drink. 0:12:46.520 --> 0:12:49.360 I was like, okay, what time is it now? 0:12:49.559 --> 0:12:53.400 Oh god? That was well. That place was closing, Cafe's eleven. 0:12:53.600 --> 0:12:54.960 It was like a Tuesday night. 0:12:55.080 --> 0:12:56.000 We are wild. 0:12:56.240 --> 0:12:59.319 Tuesday night, eleven o'clock. You text you want one more 0:12:59.360 --> 0:13:02.720 drink a baye bar, and you sent me this address. 0:13:02.760 --> 0:13:05.000 And I was like, I lived in Studio City. I 0:13:05.040 --> 0:13:08.040 don't know the bay bar. What bar is this? 0:13:10.280 --> 0:13:11.880 I can't believe you're telling this story. 0:13:12.160 --> 0:13:16.280 Yeah, And so I drove over there and I was like, 0:13:16.400 --> 0:13:18.400 I don't know this bar. I'm going up a hill. 0:13:18.880 --> 0:13:22.440 It's all residential, residential canyon. And I get to a 0:13:22.520 --> 0:13:27.120 gate and I text you I'm here, and the gate 0:13:27.240 --> 0:13:31.920 just opens. I pull in. There's no no, the lights 0:13:31.920 --> 0:13:34.079 are kind of off, there's no one. I don't know 0:13:34.160 --> 0:13:37.920 if you're in there. And I walked to the front door. 0:13:38.040 --> 0:13:41.640 It's it's a beautiful, beautiful house. But I'm thinking to myself, 0:13:41.679 --> 0:13:46.360 what the absolute hell am I doing? What what am 0:13:46.400 --> 0:13:50.640 I doing? And then we had a we had a 0:13:50.720 --> 0:13:51.280 nice evening. 0:13:51.320 --> 0:13:53.319 We chatted, you came to the bay bar, came to 0:13:53.360 --> 0:13:56.400 the bar at a bar then, Yeah, and we named 0:13:56.400 --> 0:13:58.200 it the Babe bar because it was all girls at 0:13:58.200 --> 0:14:00.880 my house at the time and there's. 0:14:00.679 --> 0:14:04.640 The big bar. When we sat and we chatted and yeah, 0:14:04.640 --> 0:14:10.320 that was that was it. Came to see the next 0:14:10.360 --> 0:14:12.880 day at work, it was mosy on up at the bar. 0:14:13.080 --> 0:14:15.839 I mean instantly it was we were on that was. 0:14:15.800 --> 0:14:17.679 It over done? 0:14:18.200 --> 0:14:21.840 Didn't look back, Nope, didn't listen to anybody. 0:14:22.160 --> 0:14:32.840 No, m did we have anybody? There was anybody like 0:14:32.880 --> 0:14:35.760 objecting on your side when we were first together. 0:14:36.480 --> 0:14:39.000 Well, what if I tell you that now? Are you 0:14:39.080 --> 0:14:39.880 going to be mad at them? 0:14:40.120 --> 0:14:44.200 No? Not at all? No, Wait, who I remember? I 0:14:44.240 --> 0:14:50.360 remember Luca, But Luca was also seventeen, about to be eighteen. 0:14:50.440 --> 0:14:54.800 I mean that's a pretty significant opposer. Yeah, our oldest daughter. 0:14:55.080 --> 0:14:57.400 Yeah, I mean senior in high school. There's a lot 0:14:57.480 --> 0:15:00.400 going on. And then we kind of threw that on her. Yeah. 0:15:00.480 --> 0:15:03.240 Oh, by the way, we're getting married after being together 0:15:03.320 --> 0:15:03.920 for three months. 0:15:03.960 --> 0:15:08.240 Yeah, after your graduation in July. Wait you graduate June. 0:15:08.360 --> 0:15:13.040 Oh yeah, then we're gonna have a wedding. Wait who who? Who? 0:15:13.120 --> 0:15:16.359 I'm trying to think. I don't think that mister Showbiz objected, 0:15:17.040 --> 0:15:19.440 or at least if he did, or if there was 0:15:19.520 --> 0:15:22.800 any conversation about it, he never told me. I would 0:15:22.840 --> 0:15:26.360 love to ask him now, like, was there something you 0:15:26.880 --> 0:15:28.320 wanted to tell me but you never did? 0:15:28.680 --> 0:15:30.720 Oh, I'm for sure it was in the back of 0:15:30.760 --> 0:15:31.160 his head. 0:15:31.280 --> 0:15:34.600 What about you did your my mom never said because 0:15:34.600 --> 0:15:37.240 she really liked you and she loved what you brought 0:15:37.280 --> 0:15:38.680 to our family. 0:15:38.840 --> 0:15:41.800 M hmm. Kind of the same background, you know, kind 0:15:41.800 --> 0:15:44.480 of were raised in the same like old fashion. Your 0:15:44.480 --> 0:15:48.280 mom's very old fashioned Midwest. Uh, and so was your dad. 0:15:48.880 --> 0:15:52.440 Okay, so mister Shobbs didn't object. My mom didn't object. No, 0:15:52.640 --> 0:15:55.800 Adele didn't object. She met you, she vetted you. 0:15:56.240 --> 0:15:59.560 Yeah, well I met Adele, like what was it this 0:16:00.000 --> 0:16:03.880 second or second week we were together? 0:16:04.240 --> 0:16:08.120 Yeah, and she loved you. I met your friends mm hmm. 0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:12.120 Yeah, and I when my the friend who introduced us 0:16:12.320 --> 0:16:17.280 already knew you, sort of like acquaintances, and then all 0:16:17.280 --> 0:16:21.840 my other friends were yeah. On board. I mean, they 0:16:21.880 --> 0:16:22.960 all thought I was nuts. 0:16:23.200 --> 0:16:25.800 Looking back, do you think you were nuts for making 0:16:25.840 --> 0:16:27.240 that decision? Mmm? 0:16:31.360 --> 0:16:33.440 I mean, looking back, yeah, I feel like it was 0:16:33.680 --> 0:16:36.560 a nutty decision. But I wouldn't have done anything different. 0:16:36.600 --> 0:16:39.720 I don't really. I think I don't really have a plan. 0:16:40.080 --> 0:16:43.240 I mean we joked sometimes and say, probably should have 0:16:43.240 --> 0:16:44.720 thought that through a little better. 0:16:45.120 --> 0:16:45.560 Yeah. 0:16:46.160 --> 0:16:49.080 Yeah, even if we had thought it through, even if 0:16:49.120 --> 0:16:51.960 you had more time to think it through, you were 0:16:52.080 --> 0:16:54.760 You're saying you would still make the same Yeah. 0:16:54.920 --> 0:16:57.920 I would have made the same decision absolutely, What about you? 0:16:58.120 --> 0:17:01.800 I would have made the same decision too, only because 0:17:01.840 --> 0:17:07.080 I am crazy and I love adventure and I'm you 0:17:07.119 --> 0:17:09.680 know what I mean, Like this just seemed. 0:17:09.400 --> 0:17:12.919 Well in the beginning, it's always you know, fun stuff. 0:17:12.960 --> 0:17:16.120 And then you had jobs, and we went on some trips, 0:17:16.160 --> 0:17:19.520 like we went to Arizona and then we went to 0:17:19.640 --> 0:17:23.600 Cabo and then we went all over the place. So 0:17:24.000 --> 0:17:28.120 yeah that eventually the trips fizzle out and. 0:17:28.160 --> 0:17:29.000 Life gets real. 0:17:29.200 --> 0:17:29.520 Yeah. 0:17:30.680 --> 0:17:35.840 I remember thinking, like, once the glitter wears off of 0:17:36.000 --> 0:17:40.359 this new relationship and the excitement of it all, what's 0:17:40.400 --> 0:17:44.080 going to happen? Yeah, And we were faced with that 0:17:44.520 --> 0:17:48.760 reality very early, like literally like a month after we 0:17:48.800 --> 0:17:49.320 got married. 0:17:50.080 --> 0:17:54.760 Yeah, that was that was crazy. Thrust here you go 0:17:55.680 --> 0:17:56.800 into the real world. 0:17:58.200 --> 0:18:01.520 I mean, because your life it's not I mean, our 0:18:01.600 --> 0:18:06.160 lives both changed. I would say your life changed drastically. Drastically. 0:18:06.440 --> 0:18:07.840 You went from a single. 0:18:07.560 --> 0:18:12.280 Guy living in a one bedroom apartment to moving into 0:18:12.320 --> 0:18:16.919 a little bit of a nicer house in Studio City. 0:18:19.160 --> 0:18:22.919 Three four dogs again at the time, three step children, 0:18:23.200 --> 0:18:25.399 and then all of a sudden, I'm taking you know, 0:18:25.440 --> 0:18:28.240 the girls to school and walking them into class because 0:18:28.280 --> 0:18:31.919 this was you know, they were still in the lower school, 0:18:32.240 --> 0:18:35.800 was the lower in upper school, and everybody would take 0:18:35.840 --> 0:18:38.520 the kids in in the morning and you'd have stuff 0:18:38.560 --> 0:18:41.520 to do, and we were like delegating between like Peter 0:18:41.640 --> 0:18:43.200 had them one week and then we had them the 0:18:43.280 --> 0:18:43.760 other week. 0:18:43.800 --> 0:18:46.920 And you were so great though, you just really jumped 0:18:46.960 --> 0:18:51.919 into everything with both feet, like you dove in. 0:18:52.280 --> 0:18:55.399 Yeah, I mean it. And also it was crazy and 0:18:55.720 --> 0:18:58.320 like being in that situation all of a sudden, I'm 0:18:58.320 --> 0:19:02.320 at this like prominent Los Angeles school with a bunch 0:19:02.320 --> 0:19:05.920 of other celebrities walking these kids in and then like. 0:19:06.040 --> 0:19:06.960 Were you starstruck? 0:19:07.600 --> 0:19:09.240 Uh? Yeah, you forget it. 0:19:09.280 --> 0:19:12.280 I might have been because you before me, you were 0:19:12.320 --> 0:19:14.359 the guy at the grocery store who looked at like 0:19:14.400 --> 0:19:16.359 the National Inquirer and US Weekly. 0:19:16.600 --> 0:19:18.840 Yeah I love the check Yeah yeah, I like. 0:19:18.880 --> 0:19:22.640 You don't love that stuff. Yeah yeah, I don't ever 0:19:22.720 --> 0:19:24.160 look at those but yeah. 0:19:23.960 --> 0:19:27.239 That whole situation and then that school, and and just 0:19:27.400 --> 0:19:30.280 like then the events that the school would do, and 0:19:30.320 --> 0:19:33.640 then becoming like you know, being around those other parents 0:19:34.200 --> 0:19:35.760 that are are celebrities looking. 0:19:35.560 --> 0:19:39.000 At was really intimidating for you. 0:19:39.280 --> 0:19:42.680 So what do you do again, Dave? Well, I'm opening 0:19:42.760 --> 0:19:49.480 a restaurant bar oh where Rampart, which to anyone that 0:19:49.600 --> 0:19:53.040 knows it's not a great area, they would never go 0:19:53.080 --> 0:19:59.200 to Rampart in East LA. But uh yeah, oh yeah, 0:19:59.200 --> 0:20:01.280 I'm gonna come down check it out. I don't think 0:20:01.280 --> 0:20:01.720 you should. 0:20:02.400 --> 0:20:05.280 But you didn't move in right away, No. 0:20:06.280 --> 0:20:08.600 We waited. I slept when the kids were home. I 0:20:08.640 --> 0:20:12.600 slept in the guest room. That's so cute. It feels 0:20:12.600 --> 0:20:16.720 like it was like literally like warp speed and went 0:20:16.800 --> 0:20:19.320 from that to like stepdad. 0:20:20.000 --> 0:20:25.080 Yeah, and looking back, this is something we can talk 0:20:25.080 --> 0:20:28.560 about in a future episode because it's a pretty significant 0:20:28.640 --> 0:20:29.480 part of our. 0:20:29.520 --> 0:20:33.040 Well perfect I like waiting to talk about things. 0:20:33.280 --> 0:20:35.320 Well, you're gonna have to wait because this is a 0:20:34.920 --> 0:20:41.040 bigger subject. But I think because we did fast track everything, 0:20:41.840 --> 0:20:45.879 there was a lot of like learning and growing on 0:20:45.960 --> 0:20:48.840 both our parts, but mostly on your part. I mean 0:20:49.000 --> 0:20:52.080 in like having a family like that and being having 0:20:52.160 --> 0:20:56.800 all these responsibilities put upon you and yeah, and having 0:20:56.800 --> 0:21:01.920 to like model for the kids a certain behavior, and 0:21:02.080 --> 0:21:06.560 just you and I getting on the same page about parenting, which. 0:21:06.280 --> 0:21:09.640 That really wasn't that difficult, right, That wasn't That wasn't 0:21:09.800 --> 0:21:10.280 but we did. 0:21:10.640 --> 0:21:15.560 My point is we did reach some obstacles that we 0:21:15.600 --> 0:21:17.680 couldn't get passed or we thought we couldn't get past, 0:21:18.800 --> 0:21:21.359 but it didn't. It took us a while, and I 0:21:21.400 --> 0:21:24.640 think that you realized, Okay, I'm swimming in the deep 0:21:24.720 --> 0:21:28.840 end and I need a life preserver. 0:21:29.880 --> 0:21:32.000 Yeah. And then also if you if you take a 0:21:32.040 --> 0:21:33.840 step back and look at bigger picture, you know, the 0:21:33.920 --> 0:21:37.760 kids were involved, and that's that's the main thing. And 0:21:37.840 --> 0:21:41.439 so then all your crazy stuff that's going on in 0:21:41.480 --> 0:21:44.480 your head that like it may seem overwhelming, Well, you 0:21:44.640 --> 0:21:47.159 made this choice and we have to like kind of 0:21:47.160 --> 0:21:49.560 figure this out. And we did. We we're still going 0:21:49.600 --> 0:21:53.600 to therapy and and doing a lot of like work. 0:21:54.600 --> 0:21:58.200 But it was it was, it was we reached an impasse. 0:21:58.400 --> 0:22:01.320 Yeah, we weren't doing we weren't doing the right work. 0:22:01.800 --> 0:22:03.880 It was. It was actually we were trying to get 0:22:03.920 --> 0:22:07.800 everybody else to do it for us in a weird way. 0:22:07.840 --> 0:22:10.480 Does that make sense to you at all? No? Okay, 0:22:11.000 --> 0:22:14.560 Well we did go to like three different therapists, and 0:22:14.800 --> 0:22:16.280 you remember, Barbara. 0:22:16.840 --> 0:22:19.240 We tried some things. We really did try. 0:22:19.320 --> 0:22:22.800 We gave it all we did, and we reached. 0:22:22.600 --> 0:22:24.920 It and passed it. We'll talk about that in another episode. 0:22:24.960 --> 0:22:29.080 But because I have some notes for that, I think 0:22:29.080 --> 0:22:31.040 it says I didn't do anything wrong. 0:22:32.720 --> 0:22:36.080 No, no, not at all. But I'm really proud of us. 0:22:36.200 --> 0:22:41.160 I'm proud of us for like finding somebody Like when 0:22:41.160 --> 0:22:44.160 I found you, I knew this is a good man. 0:22:45.080 --> 0:22:48.160 This is a person that I can see in my home, 0:22:48.720 --> 0:22:52.679 I can see around my kids, and I can see 0:22:53.720 --> 0:22:58.159