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Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Welcome,

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Speaker 1: my friend. I'm so happy you decided to hang out

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Speaker 1: with me today. I cannot wait to start talking about

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Speaker 1: choices with you and how our choices determine our paths

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Speaker 1: moving forward in life. I have so much in store

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Speaker 1: for you. I promised you that I would share some

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Speaker 1: stories from my life, and that is what I'm going

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Speaker 1: to do today. I want to tell you about the

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Speaker 1: time I decided to let love in again. But hold on,

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Speaker 1: let's do that thing. Let's go back in order to

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Speaker 1: go forward.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 1: In twenty twelve, I went through a very public and

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Speaker 1: painful divorce. I spent the next couple of years grieving

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Speaker 1: and ventually healing. When I find resurfaced into the world,

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Speaker 1: back into society, people started encouraging me to get back

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Speaker 1: out there start dating again. That thought honestly made me

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Speaker 1: feel sick. But when the time felt right, I started

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Speaker 1: dipping my toe into that pool. And let me tell you,

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Speaker 1: my dating pool was pretty shallow. It was basically set ups,

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Speaker 1: friends of friends kind of thing. I had no idea

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Speaker 1: what I was doing, what I was hoping to find,

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Speaker 1: who I would find. It was pretty brutal. I was

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Speaker 1: awkward and needy, not a very attractive combo. When I

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Speaker 1: look back now, I see a very lost lady just

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Speaker 1: trying to feel loved again. I was putting way too

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Speaker 1: much importance and focus on getting a man to love

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Speaker 1: me again. It was like I was throwing spaghetti against

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Speaker 1: the wall, just trying to figure out what would stick.

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Speaker 1: Some of my choices were odd to others, odd to

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Speaker 1: even me, and in my confused and sort of weakened

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Speaker 1: state of self understanding, I saw myself attaching my worth

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Speaker 1: to these guys who had no idea who I really

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Speaker 1: was and who were just not right. Yet I tried

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Speaker 1: so hard to make each one of them love me.

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Speaker 1: I so wanted to succeed in a relationship, and who knows,

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Speaker 1: maybe maybe I was trying so hard because I wanted

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Speaker 1: to show my ex what he had lost, what a

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Speaker 1: mistake he had made. Whatever it was, it wasn't working.

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Speaker 1: I decided to take a break from searching for that

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Speaker 1: kind of love altogether and just focus on my girls

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Speaker 1: and my job. I was doing a sitcom at the

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Speaker 1: time called Mystery Girls. I was also building a house,

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Speaker 1: a home for my new family, which was just me

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Speaker 1: and the girls and our dogs, and I gotta be honest.

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Speaker 1: I like that vibe a lot more than dating. It

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Speaker 1: was really turning into a good time in my life.

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Speaker 1: I was finding my self worth again, and I was

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Speaker 1: feeling confident and capable of being out there on my own.

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Speaker 1: I was reinventing my life. I was doing a lot

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Speaker 1: of work on myself, and I started to think ahead.

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Speaker 1: My therapist, Wade High. Wade encouraged me to make a

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Speaker 1: list of my non negotiables. The things that I had

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Speaker 1: learned were top priorities in my next relationship, and here

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Speaker 1: are a few of them. Number one a family man,

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Speaker 1: a man who puts family form first top of the list.

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Speaker 1: Number two a man who keeps his word honesty very

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Speaker 1: important to me. Number three someone who could make me laugh.

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Speaker 1: I really needed some laughter in my life. Number four,

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Speaker 1: someone who was confident enough in who they were to

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Speaker 1: let me shine. Also a man who never complained about

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Speaker 1: how much luggage I packed for a trip. And there

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Speaker 1: were others, but I don't remember what they are right now.

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Speaker 1: So that was my list, my list of non negotiables.

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Speaker 1: That's what I did so I would know when someone

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Speaker 1: came along and checked the boxes. But all the while

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Speaker 1: I was asking myself, do I even really ever want

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Speaker 1: a man in my life again? Which, as you know,

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Speaker 1: as a middle aged woman who's gone through a divorce,

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Speaker 1: that's a valid question to ask yourself. So now it

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Speaker 1: was the end of twenty fourteen, and what they say

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Speaker 1: is true. It happens when you least expect it, and

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Speaker 1: it helped me tell the story. I want to introduce

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Speaker 1: you to the man who loves to let me shine.

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Speaker 1: I want you all to meet my hubs, Dave Abrams, Hi, babe.

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Speaker 1: I was thinking we could talk about how we met.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I like that story.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you know, people like to know these stories.

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Speaker 1: Everybody loves a what's it called a cute meat meet.

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Speaker 1: I don't like cute me because you know ours of

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Speaker 1: ours was a blind meet.

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Speaker 2: Cute. Do you remember the story? Because I remember you

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Speaker 2: get a lot of You get a lot of flak

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Speaker 2: for your memory.

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Speaker 1: I do, but I remember the story.

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Speaker 2: Do you want to tell it? Yeah? How about you? Sorry,

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Speaker 2: we'll go with that, okay. So what was what was

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Speaker 2: your perspective on a blind date?

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Speaker 1: I thought I was going to talk Oh my god, okay,

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Speaker 1: my friend who was uh seeing a guy who was

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Speaker 1: younger than her. She had just been divorced not that

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Speaker 1: long ago, and now she was seeing a younger man.

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh, that's so cool. When we started

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Speaker 1: we chatted. She was a school friend, yeah, school friend,

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Speaker 1: a mommy friend of mine at school, and I remember

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Speaker 1: we were on our yearly camp out at El Capitan,

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Speaker 1: uh huh, and she said to me, would you be

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Speaker 1: open to meeting my boyfriends, one of his best friends.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, I wasn't really even like at

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Speaker 1: the place of wanting to meet anybody, but I was

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Speaker 1: at the place in my life after the divorce where

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Speaker 1: I had done a ton of work and I was

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Speaker 1: finally happy on my own. I felt really strong, really confident.

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Speaker 1: And then she said that to me, and I was like, okay,

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Speaker 1: I'll practice. Let me practice. I need to practice dating.

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Speaker 1: So I went what they set up a blind date

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Speaker 1: basically with us, and it was like a double date.

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Speaker 2: Do you remember when you googled me?

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Speaker 1: Oh that was yeah, that's true.

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Speaker 2: People do that. Yeah, everybody.

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Speaker 1: You're gonna go out with somebody and it's you know,

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Speaker 1: a blond day you google them.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but you know there was at the time. I

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Speaker 2: don't know if I don't know, if Dave Abrams the

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Speaker 2: Chippendale dancer, if you're out there, Dave, he's out there.

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Speaker 2: You got a nice physique.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because when you google Dave vid or Dave Abrams, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he was coming up a Chipendale dancer.

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Speaker 2: Google's all it's all something else, it's all Jenny and Dave.

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Speaker 2: It's just Jenny and David.

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Speaker 1: Anyways. But I thought I was going on a double

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Speaker 1: date with a Chippendale dancer.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, little did you know?

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Speaker 1: No, I knew by the time I got to the restaurant,

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Speaker 1: I knew you were a Chipendale's dancer. But I did

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Speaker 1: walk in. I did walk in, and immediately what.

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Speaker 2: The bar was a crowded by the way, you were

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Speaker 2: late whatever. Do you know how many minutes late? You

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Speaker 2: were like, oh my god, you do yeah, fifteen minutes late.

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Speaker 2: We had to wait.

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Speaker 1: Are you sure it wasn't sixteen minutes, No, fifteen okay.

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Speaker 2: For sure. And you were wearing all black and you

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Speaker 2: out of your hair was cut at a bob and

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Speaker 2: a bob. That's cute. Looking back, you ordered like.

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Speaker 1: Wait, I was talking, this is what happened. I was saying.

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Speaker 1: When I walked into the thing, into the bar. It

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Speaker 1: was crowded, and immediately my eyes went to a tall

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Speaker 1: man standing at the bar, like your typical actor, like

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Speaker 1: LA guy that really handsome.

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Speaker 2: I'd tee offense to that.

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Speaker 1: And immediately I said, oh m hmm. And then they

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Speaker 1: introduced me to you, and you were that guy.

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Speaker 2: Well, we sat down us four, and we ordered some drinks.

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Speaker 2: You said nothing, and then they proceeded to talk. I

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Speaker 2: kind of didn't say anything.

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Speaker 1: I didn't really feel social. I wasn't in a social

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Speaker 1: mood to begin with for some reason. Yeah, and then

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Speaker 1: it just it felt awkward. I felt like I was

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Speaker 1: being interviewed almost, and.

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Speaker 2: They were talking about nine oh two and oh, and

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Speaker 2: I was like, I, all, I don't I don't know

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Speaker 2: the show.

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Speaker 1: You never watched it.

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Speaker 2: No, I didn't know. I mean my sister did. But

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Speaker 2: I mean I knew. I mean obviously I knew of you.

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Speaker 2: I googled you. You Google. The first thing out of

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Speaker 2: my mouth when I was approached to go in the

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Speaker 2: state was oh, she's three kids. All right, Well whatever,

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Speaker 2: I'll go. Ah and yeah.

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Speaker 1: Wait, you probably should have really thought that through a

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Speaker 1: little bit more.

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Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, yeah, that's probably a thing I don't

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Speaker 2: really think. So I went in there and yeah, you

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Speaker 2: didn't say a word and you ordered pasta and salt.

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Speaker 1: It was a very foodie restaurant, and you know I

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Speaker 1: don't like food.

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Speaker 2: Looking back, yeah, I was like, oh, do you want

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Speaker 2: to try this? This this place is really good fish pasta. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: No, I'm.

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Speaker 2: Like anyways, looking back, it makes complete a get it.

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Speaker 2: And then we left the restaurant. They were leaving and

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Speaker 2: you're we were going to valet. You gave the ticket.

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Speaker 2: Your car got pulled up right in front of mine.

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Speaker 2: I was saying, I walked over to you and I

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Speaker 2: was like, after what did we say? Like three sentences

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Speaker 2: of each other. I was like, well, it was really

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Speaker 2: nice meeting you. Can I call you sometime. It's kind

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Speaker 2: of like a like you were going to be like, no,

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Speaker 2: see you and you're like no, but you can follow me,

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Speaker 2: And I was like, I first thought was oh on Instagram. No.

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Speaker 2: She was like, no, dummy, follow me in your car.

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Speaker 2: So we were on the yeah, and then you like

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Speaker 2: like a like a bat out of hell.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to get out of there.

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Speaker 2: And I don't drive fast, and I like, I've been

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Speaker 2: accused of driving like an old man, I do the

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Speaker 2: speed limit. My motto is I don't. I ain't got

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Speaker 2: nowhere to be. That's gonna kill me. Okay, and you

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Speaker 2: flew and we were in silver Lake.

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Speaker 1: I needed to I did that intentionally. I drove like

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Speaker 1: that intentionally, and I spoke to you like that intentionally

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Speaker 1: because I needed to know if you were on the

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Speaker 1: same level as me, like, hmmm, a little crazy, spontaneous,

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Speaker 1: a little a little wild.

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Speaker 2: Okay, well, yeah, I guess I was. You were. I'm

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Speaker 2: not like that though I probably would have went over

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Speaker 2: and went to bed, but I followed you. We went

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Speaker 2: to this little place called Cafe.

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Speaker 1: Stella, had a little drink at the bar.

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Speaker 2: We got to know each other, and you.

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Speaker 1: Started to make me laugh. Yeah, almost instantly, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, hey, he's not just a pretty face. He's

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Speaker 1: actually funny and fun to hang out with. I like

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Speaker 1: this guy, and you were hot, which started just like

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Speaker 1: change my mind.

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Speaker 2: Well thank you for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, And I

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Speaker 2: thought you were like fun and beautiful and refreshing and

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Speaker 2: to the point, not a lot of bullshit. When we

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Speaker 2: left Cafe Cella, I walked you out to the valet.

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Speaker 1: And was that our first kid?

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Speaker 2: That's it.

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Speaker 1: I don't remember it. How was it?

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Speaker 2: It was good? I got tingles, yeah, and then we

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Speaker 2: said goodbye. I lived kind of closed. You lived in

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Speaker 2: Studio City, so you lived a little bit further away.

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Speaker 2: I got home right but right when I pulled into

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Speaker 2: my driveway, I remember getting a text and you said,

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Speaker 2: you want one more drink.

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Speaker 1: I was like, okay, what time is it now?

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Speaker 2: Oh god? That was well. That place was closing, Cafe's eleven.

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Speaker 2: It was like a Tuesday night.

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Speaker 1: We are wild.

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Speaker 2: Tuesday night, eleven o'clock. You text you want one more

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Speaker 2: drink a baye bar, and you sent me this address.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, I lived in Studio City. I

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Speaker 2: don't know the bay bar. What bar is this?

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Speaker 1: I can't believe you're telling this story.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And so I drove over there and I was like,

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Speaker 2: I don't know this bar. I'm going up a hill.

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Speaker 2: It's all residential, residential canyon. And I get to a

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Speaker 2: gate and I text you I'm here, and the gate

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Speaker 2: just opens. I pull in. There's no no, the lights

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Speaker 2: are kind of off, there's no one. I don't know

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Speaker 2: if you're in there. And I walked to the front door.

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Speaker 2: It's it's a beautiful, beautiful house. But I'm thinking to myself,

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Speaker 2: what the absolute hell am I doing? What what am

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Speaker 2: I doing? And then we had a we had a

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Speaker 2: nice evening.

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Speaker 1: We chatted, you came to the bay bar, came to

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Speaker 1: the bar at a bar then, Yeah, and we named

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Speaker 1: it the Babe bar because it was all girls at

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Speaker 1: my house at the time and there's.

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Speaker 2: The big bar. When we sat and we chatted and yeah,

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Speaker 2: that was that was it. Came to see the next

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Speaker 2: day at work, it was mosy on up at the bar.

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Speaker 1: I mean instantly it was we were on that was.

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Speaker 2: It over done?

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Speaker 1: Didn't look back, Nope, didn't listen to anybody.

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Speaker 2: No, m did we have anybody? There was anybody like

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Speaker 2: objecting on your side when we were first together.

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Speaker 1: Well, what if I tell you that now? Are you

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Speaker 1: going to be mad at them?

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Speaker 2: No? Not at all? No, Wait, who I remember? I

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Speaker 2: remember Luca, But Luca was also seventeen, about to be eighteen.

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Speaker 1: I mean that's a pretty significant opposer. Yeah, our oldest daughter.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean senior in high school. There's a lot

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Speaker 2: going on. And then we kind of threw that on her. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Oh, by the way, we're getting married after being together

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Speaker 1: for three months.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, after your graduation in July. Wait you graduate June.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, then we're gonna have a wedding. Wait who who? Who?

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to think. I don't think that mister Showbiz objected,

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Speaker 1: or at least if he did, or if there was

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Speaker 1: any conversation about it, he never told me. I would

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Speaker 1: love to ask him now, like, was there something you

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Speaker 1: wanted to tell me but you never did?

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Speaker 2: Oh, I'm for sure it was in the back of

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Speaker 2: his head.

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Speaker 1: What about you did your my mom never said because

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Speaker 1: she really liked you and she loved what you brought

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Speaker 1: to our family.

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Speaker 2: M hmm. Kind of the same background, you know, kind

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Speaker 2: of were raised in the same like old fashion. Your

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Speaker 2: mom's very old fashioned Midwest. Uh, and so was your dad.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so mister Shobbs didn't object. My mom didn't object. No,

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Speaker 1: Adele didn't object. She met you, she vetted you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well I met Adele, like what was it this

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Speaker 2: second or second week we were together?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and she loved you. I met your friends mm hmm.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I when my the friend who introduced us

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Speaker 2: already knew you, sort of like acquaintances, and then all

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Speaker 2: my other friends were yeah. On board. I mean, they

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Speaker 2: all thought I was nuts.

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Speaker 1: Looking back, do you think you were nuts for making

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Speaker 1: that decision? Mmm?

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Speaker 2: I mean, looking back, yeah, I feel like it was

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Speaker 2: a nutty decision. But I wouldn't have done anything different.

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Speaker 2: I don't really. I think I don't really have a plan.

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Speaker 1: I mean we joked sometimes and say, probably should have

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Speaker 1: thought that through a little better.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, even if we had thought it through, even if

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Speaker 1: you had more time to think it through, you were

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Speaker 1: You're saying you would still make the same Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I would have made the same decision absolutely, What about you?

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Speaker 1: I would have made the same decision too, only because

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Speaker 1: I am crazy and I love adventure and I'm you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like this just seemed.

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Speaker 2: Well in the beginning, it's always you know, fun stuff.

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Speaker 2: And then you had jobs, and we went on some trips,

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Speaker 2: like we went to Arizona and then we went to

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Speaker 2: Cabo and then we went all over the place. So

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Speaker 2: yeah that eventually the trips fizzle out and.

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Speaker 1: Life gets real.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I remember thinking, like, once the glitter wears off of

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00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:40,359
Speaker 1: this new relationship and the excitement of it all, what's

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Speaker 1: going to happen? Yeah, And we were faced with that

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Speaker 1: reality very early, like literally like a month after we

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Speaker 1: got married.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that was that was crazy. Thrust here you go

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Speaker 2: into the real world.

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Speaker 1: I mean, because your life it's not I mean, our

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Speaker 1: lives both changed. I would say your life changed drastically. Drastically.

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Speaker 1: You went from a single.

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Speaker 2: Guy living in a one bedroom apartment to moving into

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Speaker 2: a little bit of a nicer house in Studio City.

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Speaker 2: Three four dogs again at the time, three step children,

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Speaker 2: and then all of a sudden, I'm taking you know,

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Speaker 2: the girls to school and walking them into class because

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Speaker 2: this was you know, they were still in the lower school,

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Speaker 2: was the lower in upper school, and everybody would take

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Speaker 2: the kids in in the morning and you'd have stuff

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Speaker 2: to do, and we were like delegating between like Peter

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Speaker 2: had them one week and then we had them the

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Speaker 2: other week.

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Speaker 1: And you were so great though, you just really jumped

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Speaker 1: into everything with both feet, like you dove in.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it. And also it was crazy and

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Speaker 2: like being in that situation all of a sudden, I'm

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Speaker 2: at this like prominent Los Angeles school with a bunch

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Speaker 2: of other celebrities walking these kids in and then like.

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00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:06,960
Speaker 1: Were you starstruck?

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Speaker 2: Uh? Yeah, you forget it.

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Speaker 1: I might have been because you before me, you were

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Speaker 1: the guy at the grocery store who looked at like

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00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,359
Speaker 1: the National Inquirer and US Weekly.

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Speaker 2: Yeah I love the check Yeah yeah, I like.

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00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:22,640
Speaker 1: You don't love that stuff. Yeah yeah, I don't ever

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00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,160
Speaker 1: look at those but yeah.

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00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:27,239
Speaker 2: That whole situation and then that school, and and just

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00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:30,280
Speaker 2: like then the events that the school would do, and

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00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:33,640
Speaker 2: then becoming like you know, being around those other parents

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00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:35,760
Speaker 2: that are are celebrities looking.

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Speaker 1: At was really intimidating for you.

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Speaker 2: So what do you do again, Dave? Well, I'm opening

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00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:49,480
Speaker 2: a restaurant bar oh where Rampart, which to anyone that

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00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:53,040
Speaker 2: knows it's not a great area, they would never go

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00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:59,200
Speaker 2: to Rampart in East LA. But uh yeah, oh yeah,

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00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:01,280
Speaker 2: I'm gonna come down check it out. I don't think

351
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:01,720
Speaker 2: you should.

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00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:05,280
Speaker 1: But you didn't move in right away, No.

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00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:08,600
Speaker 2: We waited. I slept when the kids were home. I

354
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:12,600
Speaker 2: slept in the guest room. That's so cute. It feels

355
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:16,720
Speaker 2: like it was like literally like warp speed and went

356
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:19,320
Speaker 2: from that to like stepdad.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and looking back, this is something we can talk

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00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:28,560
Speaker 1: about in a future episode because it's a pretty significant

359
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:29,480
Speaker 1: part of our.

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00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:33,040
Speaker 2: Well perfect I like waiting to talk about things.

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00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:35,320
Speaker 1: Well, you're gonna have to wait because this is a

362
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:41,040
Speaker 1: bigger subject. But I think because we did fast track everything,

363
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:45,879
Speaker 1: there was a lot of like learning and growing on

364
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:48,840
Speaker 1: both our parts, but mostly on your part. I mean

365
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:52,080
Speaker 1: in like having a family like that and being having

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00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:56,800
Speaker 1: all these responsibilities put upon you and yeah, and having

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00:20:56,800 --> 00:21:01,920
Speaker 1: to like model for the kids a certain behavior, and

368
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:06,560
Speaker 1: just you and I getting on the same page about parenting, which.

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00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:09,640
Speaker 2: That really wasn't that difficult, right, That wasn't That wasn't

370
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:10,280
Speaker 2: but we did.

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Speaker 1: My point is we did reach some obstacles that we

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00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,680
Speaker 1: couldn't get passed or we thought we couldn't get past,

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00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,359
Speaker 1: but it didn't. It took us a while, and I

374
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:24,640
Speaker 1: think that you realized, Okay, I'm swimming in the deep

375
00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:28,840
Speaker 1: end and I need a life preserver.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. And then also if you if you take a

377
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:33,840
Speaker 2: step back and look at bigger picture, you know, the

378
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:37,760
Speaker 2: kids were involved, and that's that's the main thing. And

379
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:41,439
Speaker 2: so then all your crazy stuff that's going on in

380
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:44,480
Speaker 2: your head that like it may seem overwhelming, Well, you

381
00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:47,159
Speaker 2: made this choice and we have to like kind of

382
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,560
Speaker 2: figure this out. And we did. We we're still going

383
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:53,600
Speaker 2: to therapy and and doing a lot of like work.

384
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:58,200
Speaker 1: But it was it was, it was we reached an impasse.

385
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:01,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, we weren't doing we weren't doing the right work.

386
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:03,880
Speaker 2: It was. It was actually we were trying to get

387
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:07,800
Speaker 2: everybody else to do it for us in a weird way.

388
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:10,480
Speaker 2: Does that make sense to you at all? No? Okay,

389
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:14,560
Speaker 2: Well we did go to like three different therapists, and

390
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,280
Speaker 2: you remember, Barbara.

391
00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:19,240
Speaker 1: We tried some things. We really did try.

392
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:22,800
Speaker 2: We gave it all we did, and we reached.

393
00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:24,920
Speaker 1: It and passed it. We'll talk about that in another episode.

394
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:29,080
Speaker 2: But because I have some notes for that, I think

395
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:31,040
Speaker 2: it says I didn't do anything wrong.

396
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:36,080
Speaker 1: No, no, not at all. But I'm really proud of us.

397
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:41,160
Speaker 1: I'm proud of us for like finding somebody Like when

398
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:44,160
Speaker 1: I found you, I knew this is a good man.

399
00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:48,160
Speaker 1: This is a person that I can see in my home,

400
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:52,679
Speaker 1: I can see around my kids, and I can see

401
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:58,159
Speaker 1: growing into you know, who we're going to be as

402
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:02,679
Speaker 1: a couple. I can see that with them. Yeah, you

403
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:06,639
Speaker 1: were very willing and like you seem like you wanted

404
00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:06,960
Speaker 1: it too.

405
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:10,680
Speaker 2: I did. I did. But But does this make sense

406
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:14,400
Speaker 2: without knowing it? You know, just just really being in

407
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:19,680
Speaker 2: love with you? Kind of took over everything. And then

408
00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:23,960
Speaker 2: I said, well, if that's there, then you know we

409
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:28,560
Speaker 2: can do anything. There's obviously, you know, more to that,

410
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:32,400
Speaker 2: because they say, you know, love conquers all, it actually does,

411
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:36,600
Speaker 2: but you know it's not. You know, there's there's that

412
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:40,480
Speaker 2: other there's that other layer to it that you really

413
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:43,080
Speaker 2: have to work on. But I was just so in

414
00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:45,280
Speaker 2: love with you. I was. I was in love with

415
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:48,920
Speaker 2: the kids. I was, you know, in love with an

416
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:55,160
Speaker 2: exciting life that we can make, and then you don't

417
00:23:55,160 --> 00:24:01,280
Speaker 2: really think about all the other stuff, A lot of

418
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:02,680
Speaker 2: other stuff. Yep.

419
00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:05,680
Speaker 1: We threw caution to the winds, but.

420
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:08,639
Speaker 2: It worked out. I mean, it's working out.

421
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,280
Speaker 1: I wouldn't want it any other way.

422
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:12,920
Speaker 2: So it's a choice we have to make every day.

423
00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:15,480
Speaker 1: We chose each other that first night.

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00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:16,240
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.

425
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:17,960
Speaker 1: That's pretty cool.

426
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:19,119
Speaker 2: Thank you.

427
00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:22,040
Speaker 1: You said before that you didn't know if mister Showbiz

428
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:25,439
Speaker 1: approved of you. Did you know that he listens to

429
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:29,399
Speaker 1: every recording of this podcast, so we can ask him

430
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:33,520
Speaker 1: right now in real wa. Yeah, Hey, mister I heard

431
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:36,679
Speaker 1: Days say something before you started recording where he mentioned me,

432
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:39,399
Speaker 1: and I thought, I hope that.

433
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:40,159
Speaker 2: That she doesn't say that.

434
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:43,000
Speaker 1: I had a problem because I specifically did not I

435
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,520
Speaker 1: had a problem with several other guys.

436
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:50,320
Speaker 2: Yeah no, I know, yes, I know about that, but

437
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:51,120
Speaker 2: not this guy.

438
00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:53,120
Speaker 1: Absolutely not not this guy.

439
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:54,800
Speaker 2: Not this guy.

440
00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:56,680
Speaker 1: I'm going to get a T shirt for you that says,

441
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:57,320
Speaker 1: not this guy.

442
00:24:57,480 --> 00:25:04,040
Speaker 2: Not this guy.

443
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:12,639
Speaker 1: Oh okay, it's just me again. I'm wondering what you

444
00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 1: guys are thinking of me right now because that was

445
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:20,199
Speaker 1: pretty bold. But you know what, I honestly have no

446
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:24,400
Speaker 1: shame in that game. I had been letting men lead

447
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:27,680
Speaker 1: me around for long enough, letting the man make the moves,

448
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:31,240
Speaker 1: make the decisions on whether to move forward in the

449
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:34,720
Speaker 1: relationship or not. And I was over that. I was

450
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:38,440
Speaker 1: over being the passenger in that car. And here's the key.

451
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:45,120
Speaker 1: I had started loving my life again, choosing what I wanted.

452
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:50,080
Speaker 1: I was choosing me for the very first time in

453
00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:54,560
Speaker 1: a long time. And that is exactly when it happened.

454
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:59,520
Speaker 1: I believe sometimes in life, when you find something you

455
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:04,280
Speaker 1: really want, something that feels right, you just have to

456
00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:06,320
Speaker 1: put it all on the line. You have to go

457
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:09,280
Speaker 1: for it. And that is what I did. I went

458
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:13,480
Speaker 1: for it because at the end of the day, I

459
00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 1: really did want what we all want, love loyalty, companionship.

460
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:26,320
Speaker 1: Would I make the same decision again, Yes, Yes, I would, yep, yep, yep.

461
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:31,040
Speaker 1: It hasn't always been easy, but I would absolutely choose

462
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:36,919
Speaker 1: love again. Choosing to love again after heartbreak it's a

463
00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:42,320
Speaker 1: profound act of courage, and it is complicated. It's about

464
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:46,880
Speaker 1: acknowledging the pain of the past, but at the same

465
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:51,840
Speaker 1: time refusing to let that pain define our future. It

466
00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:58,560
Speaker 1: involves embracing vulnerability, opening ourselves up to that possibility of

467
00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:03,160
Speaker 1: hurt all over again, and trusting that we are worthy

468
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:09,240
Speaker 1: of love. One of the biggest challenges is overcoming that

469
00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:15,760
Speaker 1: fear of getting hurt again, because after experiencing heartbreak, it's

470
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:19,919
Speaker 1: natural to build walls around our hearts to protect ourselves.

471
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:25,880
Speaker 1: But those walls can also prevent us from fully experiencing

472
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:31,159
Speaker 1: love and connection again. And I know it is so

473
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:35,400
Speaker 1: hard to let go of that past baggage and those

474
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:40,960
Speaker 1: old stories and those old insecurities. But I want you

475
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:46,359
Speaker 1: to see that each new relationship is an opportunity. It's

476
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:50,439
Speaker 1: an opportunity to reinvent yourself and your life, just like

477
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:55,960
Speaker 1: I did. It's a choice, and it's a choice. I

478
00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:58,840
Speaker 1: hope you find the courage to invite into your life too.

479
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:02,680
Speaker 1: I love you now. I want you to go look

480
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:05,400
Speaker 1: in the mirror and tell yourself that you love you too.

481
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:09,400
Speaker 1: I'll be right here next week. I hope you will