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Speaker 1: You get to choose how a life changing moment changes you.

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Speaker 1: We all have the ability to author our story in

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Speaker 1: whatever way we want.

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Speaker 2: Hey everyone, Emily Abody here.

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Speaker 3: You are listening to another episode of Hurdle, a podcast

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Speaker 3: featuring the mindset, secrets, and true stories of the most

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Speaker 3: inspiring women in sports and wellness, empowering you to live

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Speaker 3: a healthier, happier, more motivated life and of course, conquer

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Speaker 3: your own hurdles. Joining me today is meditation teacher and

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Speaker 3: author Megan Monahan. Meghan's journey is one of profound transformation,

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Speaker 3: sparked by a spiritual awakening sixteen years ago that shifted

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Speaker 3: her path from high stress living to a life rooted

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Speaker 3: in purpose. In twenty twenty four, that foundation was tested

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Speaker 3: when she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, a challenge she

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Speaker 3: met with incredible mental and emotional resilience. In today's episode,

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Speaker 3: Megan shares the raw details of her diagnosis, from the

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Speaker 3: sudden loss of vision in her right eye to the

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Speaker 3: clarity she found during a silent eight hour wait. In

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Speaker 3: the er, we dive deep into what it truly means

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Speaker 3: to be authentic and how to unmask personality traits that

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Speaker 3: are actually just trauma responses, tactical tools for navigating adversity,

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Speaker 3: including the four seven eight breathwork framework and the power

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Speaker 3: of somatic shaking, and her experience learning from spiritual titans

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Speaker 3: like Deeppak Chopra, and the life changing realization that you

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Speaker 3: are not your thoughts. To say that this was a

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Speaker 3: well timed episode for me personally is the biggest understatement.

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Speaker 2: Meghan is a dear friend of mine.

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Speaker 3: And her perspective on lifting the heavyweights of life is

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Speaker 3: an inspiration for anyone navigating their own hurdles. Make sure

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Speaker 3: you are following along with hurdle over on social It's

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Speaker 3: over at Purtle podcast.

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Speaker 2: You can also check out iHeart Woman's Sports.

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Speaker 3: Over at iHeart Women's Sports and me over at Emily

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Speaker 3: a Body.

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Speaker 2: Listen to Hurdle with Emily a Body on.

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Speaker 3: The iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Speaker 2: And with that, let's get to it. Let's get to

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Speaker 2: hurdling today.

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Speaker 3: I am sitting down with the Megan Monahan. She is

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Speaker 3: an author, a meditation coach, a good friend of mine. Meghan,

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Speaker 3: welcome back to hurdle.

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Speaker 4: How are we thank you?

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Speaker 1: I'm well, I'm really happy to be back. It's been

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Speaker 1: a minute since we did this the first time around,

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Speaker 1: And it's so interesting when you are putting in context

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Speaker 1: like this, because so much has changed and you can

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Speaker 1: see those things, and yet like certain things have really

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Speaker 1: just fortified. And so I always think it's fascinating to

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Speaker 1: kind of boomerang back fortified.

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Speaker 4: What we're starting off strong.

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Speaker 1: Literally, Yeah, you know, I think especially because when we

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Speaker 1: first when I was first here, when we first had

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Speaker 1: this first conversation, it was when my book was coming out,

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Speaker 1: which was I think twenty nineteen. So certainly what I've

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Speaker 1: really anchored into in my personal practices and what I

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Speaker 1: teach about and talk about has fortified. It's you know,

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Speaker 1: become even more solidified than it was in twenty nineteen,

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Speaker 1: which is the beauty of time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the beauty of time.

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Speaker 3: And so much has happened for you personally since twenty

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Speaker 3: and nineteen. I've been able to kind of have a

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Speaker 3: court side seat, if you will, to learning from you

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Speaker 3: and staying in touch with you and witnessing your growth

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Speaker 3: over the last six years, and I can say that

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Speaker 3: it's been really admirable.

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Speaker 2: But not without challenge.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, not without wait for it, hurdle.

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Speaker 2: Hey, yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And you know that point.

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Speaker 1: As as you expand, as life expands, I do think

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Speaker 1: that our capacity to learn from life and whatever hurdles

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Speaker 1: and challenges and adversity brings like that also expands. So

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Speaker 1: I think you kind of can't have one without the other. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't think you can have a real expansion of

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Speaker 1: blessings and growth and evolution without an expansion of the

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Speaker 1: kind of life classes that you're taking.

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Speaker 3: And it's quite hard to go through these life classes

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Speaker 3: and navigate difficult moments and lessons without falling into this

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Speaker 3: victim mindset. So before we talk maybe about how to

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Speaker 3: stave off victim mindset or at least escape it within

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Speaker 3: a reasonable amount of time, let's catch everyone up to

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Speaker 3: speed on some of the latest with you.

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Speaker 1: So, you know, professionally, to your point, I'm so grateful

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Speaker 1: and I've got to do some amazing things so many

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Speaker 1: with you and brands, and I've really expanded what I

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Speaker 1: get to talk about in this world and what I

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Speaker 1: can share that will hopefully impact people, because that's what

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Speaker 1: wakes me up every single morning. Personally, I have moved

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Speaker 1: through not I guess ironically not surprisingly, a really big

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Speaker 1: health hurdle. I was diagnosed with multiple scrosis a couple

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Speaker 1: of years ago, which is again not ironic given that

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Speaker 1: the reason I started meditating and started doing this work

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Speaker 1: sixteen years ago is because I was navigating a health

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Speaker 1: crisis and my body was really breaking down from which

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Speaker 1: we talked so much about on the first episode.

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Speaker 4: If you haven't heard it, go back in the show

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Speaker 4: really listen.

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Speaker 1: But so much of my journey started with my body

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Speaker 1: breaking down from stress and me having this really kind

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Speaker 1: of spiritual awakening and connection to purpose for the first

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Speaker 1: time in my life. And cut to sixteen years later,

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Speaker 1: I moved through an experience getting diagnosed with multiple scrosis,

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Speaker 1: which really affirmed kind of everything that I've been doing

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Speaker 1: for the last sixteen years. And as much as it

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Speaker 1: was and is, you know, adversity, pretty objective adversity in the.

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Speaker 4: Medical sense, it really.

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Speaker 1: Hasn't been as difficult mentally and emotionally because of this

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Speaker 1: work that I've been doing for so long, in these

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Speaker 1: sort of mental muscles that I've been strengthening, So it's

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Speaker 1: been not unlike the first time, not onlike the first

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Speaker 1: go around, such a source of inspiration and like a

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Speaker 1: reactivation of purpose.

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Speaker 3: What a beautiful way to look at what I know

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Speaker 3: to be and is for so many and extremely challenging

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Speaker 3: and dare I say devastating diagnosis. Where were you when

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Speaker 3: you started to get this understanding that I don't think

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Speaker 3: these symptoms are going anywhere anytime soon, when you first

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Speaker 3: started to realize that something's up here.

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Speaker 1: Well, you know, autoimmune symptoms are so difficult to as

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Speaker 1: so many people experience, to diagnose. And so I've had,

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Speaker 1: you know, very umbrella autoimmune symptoms for a long time.

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Speaker 1: You know, the brain fog and the fatigue and you know,

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Speaker 1: some stuff with my metabolic health right and all of that.

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Speaker 1: Most doctors will be like, oh, that's a little bit,

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Speaker 1: you know, autoimmuni. But again, until you have a symptom

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Speaker 1: that's definitive enough for a diagnosis, a lot of times,

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Speaker 1: or your blood work shows something, a lot of times,

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Speaker 1: you don't get a specific diagnosis. But I had, you know,

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Speaker 1: a thirty six hour period where I had a very

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Speaker 1: specific symptom which was losing not the complete vision of

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Speaker 1: my eye, but a lot of the vision in my

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Speaker 1: right eye, which caused me to go to the eye

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Speaker 1: urgent care that exists here in LA for anyone that

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Speaker 1: might be ever needed.

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Speaker 4: Hopefully you don't.

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Speaker 1: And that led to, you know, thirty six hours then

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Speaker 1: in the UCLA emergency room, which I sort of joke

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Speaker 1: is a self inflicted silent meditation retreat that I put

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Speaker 1: myself on.

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Speaker 4: Because of the truly just.

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Speaker 1: Like comedy of errors that occurred on that day. And

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Speaker 1: I'm happy to share that quick story if you want. So,

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Speaker 1: you know, I show up at the eye urgent Care,

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Speaker 1: they take me back. I'm really losing a lot of

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Speaker 1: the vision, and I'm realizing that something might be more

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Speaker 1: wrong than just put some eyedrops in your eye and

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Speaker 1: you'll be fine in forty eight hours.

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Speaker 4: Kind of wrong.

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Speaker 1: And the optimologist there comes in after doing you know,

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Speaker 1: tests and all of the things that they do, and says,

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Speaker 1: you have what we call optic and aritis, which is

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Speaker 1: oftentimes a symptom of a multiple sclerosis flare up. So

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Speaker 1: I need you to go across the street to the er,

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Speaker 1: and I need you to wait there until you can

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Speaker 1: get an MRI. And I'm thinking to myself, Okay, my

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Speaker 1: dog's at home. That was like legitimately my first thought.

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Speaker 1: My dog's home by himself, my partner who I live

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Speaker 1: with is out of town. My mom, who lives in

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Speaker 1: LA is out of town. None of this is logistically ideal.

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Speaker 1: It's August. I'm wearing this like mini sun dress. I'm

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Speaker 1: wearing sandals. My phone is at about forty percent. I

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Speaker 1: don't have any food or water. I haven't had anything

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Speaker 1: to really drink or eat. And I walk across the

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Speaker 1: street and I check myself into the er, and you know,

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Speaker 1: they say, it's going to be a while for you

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Speaker 1: to wait to get this.

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Speaker 4: MRI.

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Speaker 1: Sit over here, since you haven't eaten or drink, just

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Speaker 1: stay fasted in case we need to do any tests

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Speaker 1: that might require you to be fasted.

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Speaker 4: That's great.

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Speaker 1: And so I sit down and I can't really use

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Speaker 1: my phone because I need to save this battery with

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Speaker 1: all of my energy, right, so I can't just be

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Speaker 1: scrolling for hours on end. My I'm not eating or

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Speaker 1: drinking anything. I don't love asking for help, which is

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Speaker 1: another huge lesson. I think when you move through a

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Speaker 1: moment like this, like what are the things that you

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Speaker 1: resisted embracing in that moment that in the you know,

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Speaker 1: the next turn I would do so next time, I

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Speaker 1: would call any of the number of people in La

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Speaker 1: that would have brought me pants and a charger and

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Speaker 1: or just sat there with me, right, but I but

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to do that, and so, you know,

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Speaker 1: so I'm really just sitting there with myself in the

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Speaker 1: er for probably eight or nine hours until they could

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Speaker 1: bring me up to get an MRI. And as much

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Speaker 1: as I had, of course, moments of oh, this is

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Speaker 1: scary and what does this mean? And you know, I

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Speaker 1: was born in the eighties, the nineteen eighties, back in

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Speaker 1: the nineteen hundreds, and you know, people with MS that

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Speaker 1: I saw were not okay, right, Like it's not you know,

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Speaker 1: back at that point, medications weren't they were. It really

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Speaker 1: was sort of a not a death sentence, but really

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Speaker 1: a sentence that would absolutely affect your mobility and your

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Speaker 1: quality of life. And so of course I had thoughts

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Speaker 1: like that, But the overwhelming thought and narrative that was

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Speaker 1: going through my mind for no reason and without me

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Speaker 1: really having to try to be positive, was really just

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Speaker 1: like unhinged thoughts like what if this is the best

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Speaker 1: thing that's ever happened to me? What if on the

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Speaker 1: other side of this diagnosis is everything I've ever wanted?

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Speaker 1: Is Like, how I get to share what I know

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Speaker 1: and what has transformed my life with the world. What

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Speaker 1: if this is the way that I can have impact?

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Speaker 1: What if this is how I become the version of

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Speaker 1: myself that I have always wanted to be right? What

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Speaker 1: if this is the key that unlocks it all? And

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Speaker 1: I started having It's really gratitude for things, you know,

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Speaker 1: I remember thinking to myself, I'm so grateful that, you know,

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Speaker 1: I have enough money that I don't have to deal

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Speaker 1: with how much parking is.

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Speaker 4: And there's no part of me.

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Speaker 1: You know, if I was diagnosed, and I don't know

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Speaker 1: when I was nineteen, I would have been sitting in

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Speaker 1: that Uclaer thinking to myself, well, how long am I

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Speaker 1: going to be here?

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Speaker 4: Because it's you.

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Speaker 1: Know, four seventy five every three minutes to park in

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Speaker 1: this garage, And you know, I remember thinking to myself,

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Speaker 1: I'm so grateful that that's not a concern, and that

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Speaker 1: I'm you know, forty thirty nine getting diagnosed, and that

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Speaker 1: thankfully I can pay for parking without having to freak out.

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Speaker 1: And I'm so thankful I have health insurance. I'm so

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Speaker 1: thankful I have a partner that is so supportive and helpful.

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Speaker 4: I'm so thankful you know all of it.

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Speaker 1: And it really was this again, moments of this feel scary,

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Speaker 1: moments of like I'm crying, moments of what does this

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Speaker 1: mean and what's going to happen and do I really

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Speaker 1: have ms? But really the home base was I felt

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Speaker 1: like Tom Brady in the Super Bowl. I felt like

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Speaker 1: we're down by so many points and there's no way

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Speaker 1: we can win. But somehow this is not a disaster

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Speaker 1: and this is how we win. And it really was

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Speaker 1: such an affirming moment for me of what can happen

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Speaker 1: when you're practicing things in your life and practicing thinking

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Speaker 1: a certain way and seeing the world a certain way

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Speaker 1: and embodying again these sort of mental muscles. When you

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Speaker 1: build those muscles up and life hands you a bigger weight,

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Speaker 1: you really can lift it. And it might not be

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Speaker 1: comfortable and it might not be like the fun workout,

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Speaker 1: but I'm strong enough to lift this.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: It's really a test meant to your strengthening and building

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Speaker 3: of a resiliency muscle, something that is not an easy

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Speaker 3: thing and often requires going through the muck and going

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Speaker 3: through the work right, But having gone through some of

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Speaker 3: that work, you're better for it. When challenge, when hurdles

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Speaker 3: arise moving forward.

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Speaker 1: And it's also not say I, admittedly I say this

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Speaker 1: all the time, this is not what I would have

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Speaker 1: been like. This version of me is not who would

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Speaker 1: have shown up that day pre sixteen years of meditation,

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Speaker 1: right right, That version of me would have been using

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Speaker 1: the battery on my phone to call anyone that would

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Speaker 1: listen to me and be like, oh, can you believe

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Speaker 1: what's happening to me? Of course this is happening to me.

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Speaker 1: Why wouldn't this happen to me? I would have been

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Speaker 1: in again, such a victimy place. And again I don't

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Speaker 1: want to discount an experience like that, because there is

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Speaker 1: something that's happening that is incredibly scary and painful, and

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Speaker 1: I never want people to bypass that, especially and authentically.

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Speaker 1: And I certainly have gone through periods where I felt

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Speaker 1: scared and sad and had tears and all of that.

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Speaker 1: But the perspective that I would have had on this,

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Speaker 1: the lens that I would have seen this through pre

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Speaker 1: doing that work that you said, would have been completely different.

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Speaker 1: So this is not a matter of oh, that's just

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Speaker 1: not who I am, right, because who you are this

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Speaker 1: is very fluid concept that can change and how you

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Speaker 1: see and perceive things.

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Speaker 3: This also is an example of how clarity can be

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Speaker 3: a good thing regardless of outcome, because clarity gives you

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Speaker 3: essential information that you need to move forward and to

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Speaker 3: take in next action steps. So, yes, the vision being

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Speaker 3: the blaring symptom at that time, which was what brought

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Speaker 3: you in to that er, right, But there were surely

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Speaker 3: other symptoms that you had been experiencing for a myriad

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Speaker 3: of years that you had no answers to.

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Speaker 1: And if I hadn't had that moment of opticnuritis, maybe

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't have gotten an MRI that day and gotten

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Speaker 1: this diagnosis that day. And then to your point, you know,

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Speaker 1: there were many is the word they used, many lesions

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Speaker 1: on my brain, so more than just a few that

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Speaker 1: you would count and say, I have many lesions on

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Speaker 1: my brain, and thankfully so much of your brain, not

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Speaker 1: that it's like dead space, but there's a lot of

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Speaker 1: matter in your brain that doesn't get affected by what

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Speaker 1: was happening because of my ms.

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Speaker 4: But who knows, maybe if I had kept.

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Speaker 1: Going, there would have been a lesions somewhere else on

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Speaker 1: my neck or my spine, and maybe that would have

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Speaker 1: caused a mobility issue, and maybe that would have been

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Speaker 1: so much worse.

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Speaker 4: Right, So, yeah, I'm.

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Speaker 1: So grateful that I had the clarity, have this diagnosis

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Speaker 1: and this information.

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Speaker 3: Someone hears that and they sit here and think, I

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Speaker 3: just cannot relate. I cannot relate to the perspective of

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Speaker 3: seeing something like this in that way.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you say to them, I get it, I get it.

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Speaker 1: I didn't see the world that way. And it's something

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Speaker 1: that you get to choose to shift and change if

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Speaker 1: you want to. And if it's not working the way

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Speaker 1: that you're seeing the world and the way that you're perceiving,

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Speaker 1: especially things like adversity, then know that you can.

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Speaker 4: Do things to shift that.

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Speaker 1: And also you don't have to right, this is a

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Speaker 1: you know, I always say, you know, since this's happening,

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Speaker 1: like you get to choose how a life changing moment

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Speaker 1: changes you.

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Speaker 4: We all have the.

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Speaker 1: Ability to author our story in whatever way we want.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 1: That is such a such a thing that we have agency.

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Speaker 1: Over and again, I am not one to ever say,

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Speaker 1: you know, just tell yourself a better story about what's happening.

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Speaker 1: And everything is right. It doesn't have to feel fine,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't have to feel Okay, you don't have to

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Speaker 1: feel grateful for it, especially in the beginning, But emotions

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Speaker 1: only last ninety seconds in the body, and then after

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Speaker 1: that it's our mind that gets attached to that very

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Speaker 1: temporary feeling and creates a narrative that we continue to

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Speaker 1: live out over and over and over. So one of

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Speaker 1: the biggest things, and really like the pillar in one

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Speaker 1: of the big pillars and how to navigate stress so

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Speaker 1: that it really is a net positive on your body

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Speaker 1: and your mind, is to change your relationship with your

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Speaker 1: emotions and to recognize this is a temporary feeling, this

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Speaker 1: is a big wave, Like this is a big ass

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Speaker 1: wave that I'm feeling of fear of whatever it might be,

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Speaker 1: of scarcity, of doubt, whatever it might be.

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Speaker 4: But that's not who I am.

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Speaker 1: I am just this container that this big wave of

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Speaker 1: energy is moving through that doesn't define me, just as

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Speaker 1: a thought doesn't define you. Yes, you get to decide

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Speaker 1: what you want that story to be and really not

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Speaker 1: to be too meditation teachery. But here we are. You

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Speaker 1: get to ask yourself, is this happening to me? Or

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Speaker 1: can I look at this as something that's happening for me?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 1: And can I pull something from this that is strengthening

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Speaker 1: me that I feel good about, you know, and all

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Speaker 1: of the things that I've ever navigated, you know, my dad,

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Speaker 1: you know, dying when I was twenty nine, and movement,

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Speaker 1: which is really what got me into this whole first

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Speaker 1: wave of work, and navigating his alcoholism, which is subsequently

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Speaker 1: was the cause of him passing away, you know, changing

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Speaker 1: my industry of work, moving through health crises MS. Certainly,

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Speaker 1: all of those things which I never would have chosen

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Speaker 1: off of the life menu are the things that I

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Speaker 1: credit with the parts of myself and the parts of

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Speaker 1: my life that I am the most in love with.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And what a beautiful reframe rate again, choosing to

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Speaker 3: pick up the pen and author your own story based

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Speaker 3: on maybe things that you wouldn't have chosen, but in

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Speaker 3: a direction that excites you rather than one that makes

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Speaker 3: you feel more often than not or succumbing to this

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Speaker 3: feeling of frustration again, that victim mindset and going down

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Speaker 3: that road.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And you know, if we want to keep using that

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Speaker 1: workout metaphor, oftentimes the things that make us the strongest

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Speaker 1: are the workouts that we hate doing or the move

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Speaker 1: and I hate doing burpees every time they say okay, great,

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Speaker 1: let's do I just think to myself, I don't want

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Speaker 1: to do this, and yet it's this full body thing

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Speaker 1: and it raises your heart rate, and there are all

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Speaker 1: these things that happen on the other side of doing burpies.

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Speaker 1: And then when you're walking through life and you feel stronger,

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Speaker 1: you feel more energized, whatever it is, you're so grateful

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Speaker 1: that you did that. I think we mistake the need

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Speaker 1: to enjoy the experience or the process.

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Speaker 4: With finding value in it.

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Speaker 2: We mistake the need to enjoy the process.

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Speaker 3: And that's quite interesting as well, because we're constantly seeking

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Speaker 3: joy and happiness. And this goes back to the point

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Speaker 3: of making the conscious decision to say, what is it

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Speaker 3: that I want out of this? That is is that

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Speaker 3: simple question, what is my goal here? Is something that

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Speaker 3: I go back to each and every day, specifically when

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Speaker 3: it comes to having hard conversations or thinking about what

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Speaker 3: it is that I want with work right and how

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna word an email even And I'll be the

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Speaker 3: first to admit that although that is a practice in

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Speaker 3: my routine, although I am constantly asking myself what's the

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Speaker 3: goal here, that doesn't mean that at one point or another,

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Speaker 3: my emotions are going to get the best to make.

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Speaker 3: I had a very difficult conversation yesterday, and my emotions

390
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Speaker 3: got the best of me, despite playing over and over

391
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Speaker 3: in my mind what I knew the goal was and

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Speaker 3: what I wanted to get out of it. And so

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Speaker 3: I'm human, and now all I can do is take

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Speaker 3: that as information and move forward and try to communicate

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Speaker 3: better the next time, which goes to again going back

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Speaker 3: to your story and saying sitting in that room and

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Speaker 3: now having the tools that you have sixteen years later

398
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Speaker 3: that you didn't have before to navigate this crisis.

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Speaker 1: And those muscles again continue to strengthen as you practice

400
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Speaker 1: these things. And it's not about to your point, it's

401
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:10,520
Speaker 1: not about being perfect. And I think it's really also

402
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:13,720
Speaker 1: important to recognize that you can be again not on

403
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:16,080
Speaker 1: workouts to not to belabor the metaphor, but you can

404
00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:18,720
Speaker 1: be really good at like strength training, and then someone says, okay, great,

405
00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:19,760
Speaker 1: go run five miles.

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Speaker 4: It's like, well, I don't. I haven't practiced that muscle yet.

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Speaker 1: So you have to keep looking for the areas when

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Speaker 1: you are mistaking feeling uncomfortable with feeling unsafe, which is

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Speaker 1: what often happens with the nervous system, right. I love

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Speaker 1: to avoid a hard conversation and especially give me, like

411
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:40,800
Speaker 1: a good romantic partnership hard conversation. My nervous system is like,

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Speaker 1: you know what, let's just swallow how we're feeling and

413
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Speaker 1: avoid talking about that, and we'll just endure whatever's happening

414
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,720
Speaker 1: because the idea of talking about this is so much

415
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Speaker 1: worse in my body. Right, So it's like, Okay, great,

416
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Speaker 1: I'm not as good at that workout, and I get

417
00:21:55,119 --> 00:21:57,440
Speaker 1: to keep leaning into that I might be a superhero

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Speaker 1: at navigating medical adversity turns out out, but there might

419
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,600
Speaker 1: be this other area. So I do think it's also

420
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:06,480
Speaker 1: really important to have enough humility to look at where

421
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:10,000
Speaker 1: you still are really needing to keep lifting those weights

422
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Speaker 1: in a really intentional way.

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Speaker 3: I also think that we can't downplay the importance of

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Speaker 3: allowing for the feelings to come up that happen when

425
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:23,280
Speaker 3: things don't go as we had hoped or we do

426
00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:26,879
Speaker 3: get news that is unanticipated, right, Like, there has to

427
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:33,639
Speaker 3: be grace for the frustration, sadness, etc. That comes up

428
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Speaker 3: in those moments, and then what happens next is your opportunity.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and again, I can't stress enough. When I was

430
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Speaker 1: in the er on my silent meditation retreat for eight hours,

431
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:46,160
Speaker 1: I had waves of oh, I'm going to cry for

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Speaker 1: a few minutes now. I didn't plan it, just to

433
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:51,200
Speaker 1: work clear checked out two minutes of crying. But you know, oh,

434
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:53,399
Speaker 1: this is feeling like a lot, This feels scary, this

435
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:57,159
Speaker 1: feels it's just not the home base that I was

436
00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:57,720
Speaker 1: sitting in.

437
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Speaker 2: So how does MS present for you now.

438
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:22,879
Speaker 1: As a I mean, as a physical symptom, not not much.

439
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:25,199
Speaker 1: You know, I still have I still have the autoimmunity

440
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:27,040
Speaker 1: things that I've always had, which is like brain fog

441
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:30,520
Speaker 1: and fatigue and some things like that. But I'm really

442
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:33,560
Speaker 1: grateful that I have, you know, a treatment that I'm

443
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:36,679
Speaker 1: on that I am responding really well to, and I

444
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 1: don't have a huge number of physical symptoms that I navigate.

445
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:45,000
Speaker 1: I think it continues to be something that I seek

446
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:50,200
Speaker 1: inspiration from, and I continue to ask myself, what does

447
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:54,400
Speaker 1: this larger than life diagnosis, right this thing that feels

448
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:56,960
Speaker 1: so much bigger than me? What can this give me

449
00:23:57,119 --> 00:23:59,679
Speaker 1: permission to be that is so much bigger than me?

450
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:00,200
Speaker 4: Right now?

451
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:04,560
Speaker 1: Whether that's I you know, how could I not choose

452
00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:06,439
Speaker 1: to be more authentic? How could I not choose to,

453
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:08,479
Speaker 1: like go for a bigger opportunity? How could I not

454
00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:13,080
Speaker 1: choose to? So I think again, when something that happens

455
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:15,720
Speaker 1: that's bigger than you, it gives you an opportunity to

456
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:18,959
Speaker 1: become a bigger version of you. And you know, not

457
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:23,000
Speaker 1: unlike someone that you know diagnosed is diagnosed and beats

458
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:25,880
Speaker 1: cancer that has this new lease on life, about life

459
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:27,600
Speaker 1: is really short and you have no idea what's going

460
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:31,000
Speaker 1: to happen tomorrow? Right, So how can this give me

461
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:36,680
Speaker 1: permission to be an even more authentic, free, powerful, purpose

462
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:40,840
Speaker 1: aligned version of me? And that doesn't happen every day?

463
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:43,120
Speaker 1: Just so we're clear, Just so, just so we're clear.

464
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:46,359
Speaker 1: But that's what I mean. You know, these things that

465
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:49,760
Speaker 1: we move through that are bigger than us can be

466
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:51,240
Speaker 1: a source of inspiration.

467
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:52,680
Speaker 4: It's bigger than us.

468
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:55,720
Speaker 3: I want to talk about the word authentic because we

469
00:24:55,880 --> 00:25:00,000
Speaker 3: hear so often it's so powerful to be a more authentic,

470
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:03,280
Speaker 3: take version of yourself and you should really be authentic

471
00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:06,640
Speaker 3: in your situations and your relationships. And some people hear

472
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:09,720
Speaker 3: that and they're like cool, cool, cool, And what's that

473
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:10,440
Speaker 3: actually mean?

474
00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:11,000
Speaker 4: Yeah?

475
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:12,280
Speaker 2: Right, So let's.

476
00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:14,320
Speaker 4: First, it's also so much harder them. Well, let's dial

477
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:14,920
Speaker 4: a less.

478
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:18,840
Speaker 3: On what it means to be authentic and then perhaps

479
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:22,199
Speaker 3: hash out a little bit about how to enable and

480
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,440
Speaker 3: empower more authenticity within self.

481
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:25,399
Speaker 4: Yeah.

482
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:30,200
Speaker 1: I think for me, it is continuing to connect with

483
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:33,560
Speaker 1: who you really are. And I believe that who we

484
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:37,560
Speaker 1: really are is the essence of us that is expressed

485
00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:40,119
Speaker 1: in all of these roles that we play. Right, So

486
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 1: I am not a meditation teacher or an author, or

487
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:46,359
Speaker 1: you know someone that was raised in North Jersey or

488
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:48,960
Speaker 1: that lives in la or that as a singer. That's

489
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:52,240
Speaker 1: not who I am. Right, Those are the friend, the partner.

490
00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:58,240
Speaker 1: Those are places where I funnel my essence who I

491
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:00,600
Speaker 1: really am. There is a part of you that can't

492
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:03,399
Speaker 1: be diagnosed with MS. They can't be broken up with,

493
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:06,600
Speaker 1: they can't be broke, they can't be relocated.

494
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,920
Speaker 4: Right, That is who you are. And I think it's

495
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:10,680
Speaker 4: really easy to.

496
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:16,240
Speaker 1: Define ourselves with all the tangible, the very the very material.

497
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:18,240
Speaker 1: I can see it, I can measure it, other people

498
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:20,920
Speaker 1: can see it and measure it. It's really easy to say, oh,

499
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:24,920
Speaker 1: that's who I am. And when you are defined by

500
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:29,800
Speaker 1: these external outlets, there's always going to be an element

501
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:32,359
Speaker 1: of anxiety. There's always going to be an attachment to

502
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:36,240
Speaker 1: how that's going. Because if I'm defined by being a

503
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:40,320
Speaker 1: meditation teacher or an author or whatever speaker, and all

504
00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:42,680
Speaker 1: of a sudden, I'm not getting work, or I give

505
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:44,040
Speaker 1: a talk and it doesn't go well, or I give

506
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,440
Speaker 1: a talk and it does go really well, all of

507
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:49,200
Speaker 1: a sudden, that is impacting how I feel about who

508
00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:53,240
Speaker 1: I am, and that's not who I am. And so

509
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:58,440
Speaker 1: for me, authenticity is this really never ending journey of

510
00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:02,720
Speaker 1: connecting to who you are, really are basing your sense

511
00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:08,760
Speaker 1: of self on that and not the external representations, because again,

512
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,520
Speaker 1: if who you are is these external outlets that you're

513
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:13,960
Speaker 1: plugging into, you're always going to be running around looking

514
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:17,240
Speaker 1: for another outlet and there's never enough, which is why,

515
00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:20,080
Speaker 1: you know, if you're defined by the relationship outlet, and

516
00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:22,840
Speaker 1: you you know, finally after years of being single or

517
00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:25,160
Speaker 1: like in a relationship, then the outlet at some point

518
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:26,840
Speaker 1: starts to not be quite as potent and you don't

519
00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:28,280
Speaker 1: get as much charge, and so it's like, well, now

520
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 1: I need to get married, and then now we need

521
00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:31,960
Speaker 1: to have a baby, and now we should really try

522
00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:33,440
Speaker 1: to buy a house, and now we should really maybe

523
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:35,840
Speaker 1: have another baby, and right, there's never enough. The line

524
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:39,399
Speaker 1: just keeps moving. If the external outlet is who I

525
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 1: am is how much money I make? You make the

526
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:43,480
Speaker 1: money that you thought would set you free, and then

527
00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:45,480
Speaker 1: you're like, well that's not enough money. It turns out

528
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:48,480
Speaker 1: turns out I need five million dollars. One million dollars

529
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:51,800
Speaker 1: is nothing, Right, I need five if it's defined by right.

530
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:53,840
Speaker 1: So the line we'll just keep moving of who you

531
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:58,000
Speaker 1: are is dependent on the external expression of who you are.

532
00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:01,640
Speaker 3: Right, So seeking then a b understanding of what it

533
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:06,479
Speaker 3: is that makes you regardless of external factors is how

534
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:12,080
Speaker 3: we dial in on authenticity. So doing something like a

535
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:16,399
Speaker 3: values assessment, asking yourself, what is it in my life

536
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:20,640
Speaker 3: that is important to me? Or what characteristics and ways

537
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:23,080
Speaker 3: that I go about my day to day that I

538
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:26,000
Speaker 3: exhibit that I seek what makes me feel good, what

539
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:26,840
Speaker 3: makes me feel bad?

540
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:27,800
Speaker 4: It makes me feel alive?

541
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:29,320
Speaker 2: Exactly what brings me joy?

542
00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:31,960
Speaker 3: The last time that I felt joy, what value was

543
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:35,359
Speaker 3: being expressed? The last time that I felt truly frustrated?

544
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:38,680
Speaker 3: What value was being challenged? These are critical questions that

545
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 3: you can ask yourself to identify who it is that

546
00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:45,240
Speaker 3: you are at your core and then be able to

547
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:49,360
Speaker 3: have a better understanding of what your authenticity is comprised of.

548
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:49,800
Speaker 2: Yeah.

549
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:54,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, and when you're not outsourcing your worth, it's a

550
00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:57,920
Speaker 1: lot easier to be authentic to who you are when

551
00:28:57,960 --> 00:29:00,920
Speaker 1: you are out you know. And again, especially in relationships,

552
00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:03,640
Speaker 1: this is so prevalent. This is something that I navigate

553
00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:06,760
Speaker 1: and have worked on my whole life with codependency work.

554
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:11,760
Speaker 1: When your sense of self is outsourced to someone else,

555
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:13,840
Speaker 1: whether that's how someone else is doing or what they

556
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:17,040
Speaker 1: think about you, of course you can't be authentic, right,

557
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:20,600
Speaker 1: because being an emotional shape shifter is the thing that

558
00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:24,640
Speaker 1: you find success with, right, It comes to this other thing, right,

559
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:27,880
Speaker 1: So being authentic is such a I mean, it's such

560
00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:28,440
Speaker 1: a tall order.

561
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:29,080
Speaker 4: It's not a right.

562
00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:30,480
Speaker 1: This is not an easy thing to just just be

563
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:32,360
Speaker 1: more authentic, just be more honest about who you are,

564
00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:35,320
Speaker 1: and just move through the world unapologetically expressing your true

565
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:37,360
Speaker 1: you know, that's like lifelong work, right.

566
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:41,080
Speaker 3: Because it's human nature to be concerned about how you're perceived.

567
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:41,600
Speaker 4: Especially women.

568
00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:46,320
Speaker 1: You know, women for ever since the daunt of time,

569
00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:54,240
Speaker 1: maybe have really been rewarded for being compliant, for being easygoing,

570
00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:59,880
Speaker 1: for not needing too much or like making too many waves. Yeah,

571
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:02,640
Speaker 1: be you know, and truly you know since the beginning

572
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:05,640
Speaker 1: of time as a sense of survival, you know, not

573
00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:09,480
Speaker 1: to get into the anthropology of it all, but you know,

574
00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:12,680
Speaker 1: women couldn't own property, women couldn't So women's survival really

575
00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:14,680
Speaker 1: did for a very long time depend on what other

576
00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 1: people thought of her, how a tribe would embrace her

577
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:21,120
Speaker 1: or not, or how a partner would embrace her or

578
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:23,400
Speaker 1: not to keep her alive.

579
00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:26,440
Speaker 2: The work that I've.

580
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:30,800
Speaker 3: Done to stop saying the sentence I am a lot,

581
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:37,360
Speaker 3: The work that I have done to stop this unfounded

582
00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:44,000
Speaker 3: while societal but to stop this narrative that because I

583
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:49,960
Speaker 3: am confident and sure and have an opinion that makes

584
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:55,680
Speaker 3: me quote unquote too much for people, we're walking past

585
00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:58,000
Speaker 3: that in twenty twenty six. We've been walking past that

586
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:00,840
Speaker 3: for years now, We've been we have been on hike

587
00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:03,440
Speaker 3: for a minute now. But it is so true, right,

588
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:07,720
Speaker 3: It is literally instilled in us as women from a

589
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:11,080
Speaker 3: young age not to be boisterous about the space that

590
00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:15,160
Speaker 3: we consume, the space that we take up. And in

591
00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:21,440
Speaker 3: embracing my authentic self, I have garnered this really beautiful

592
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:26,840
Speaker 3: understanding that the things that I once viewed as maybe

593
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:33,280
Speaker 3: even problematic are actually such a testament to the goodness

594
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:34,960
Speaker 3: that I bring into this world.

595
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:38,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love and I love that you're acknowledging as

596
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:40,840
Speaker 1: I always try to do. It's a thing we walk

597
00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:45,480
Speaker 1: down forever, you know, really coming back to ourselves, coming

598
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:48,720
Speaker 1: back home to ourselves. And I think what's really powerful

599
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:52,520
Speaker 1: is that the more that you come home to yourself,

600
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:57,440
Speaker 1: the less apologetic you are about who that really is.

601
00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:05,240
Speaker 1: And I think that's when really the truest expression has

602
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:07,840
Speaker 1: a chance to come out because nothing is threatening it.

603
00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:12,480
Speaker 3: And it's really beautiful what happens with embracing that level

604
00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:15,160
Speaker 3: of authenticity for self. But then also when we think

605
00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:18,920
Speaker 3: about energy and energy attracting energy, and the people that

606
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:21,520
Speaker 3: you will pull in as you are yourself and also

607
00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:24,880
Speaker 3: the people that won't stay around. You know, if we

608
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:29,959
Speaker 3: then go back to this conversation on relationships, right, so

609
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:33,600
Speaker 3: many times maybe I've held my tongue when getting to

610
00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:38,000
Speaker 3: know someone of a romantic interest because I'm concerned of

611
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:41,440
Speaker 3: again coming off as too much. But the reality is

612
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:44,240
Speaker 3: that for the right person, I will never be too much.

613
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:48,440
Speaker 3: And to know that again not just in romantic relationships,

614
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:52,560
Speaker 3: but then also within your friendships and your working relationships,

615
00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:54,840
Speaker 3: to be true to who it is that you are.

616
00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:57,800
Speaker 3: You'll never regret it because it will bring to you

617
00:32:57,880 --> 00:32:58,920
Speaker 3: what is meant for you.

618
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:03,840
Speaker 1: But it's also then this sort of blanket permission to

619
00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:08,960
Speaker 1: empower other people to be who they authentically are, which

620
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:10,720
Speaker 1: is the other piece of this. You know, the thing

621
00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:14,200
Speaker 1: with personal development work is it can be really easy

622
00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:16,800
Speaker 1: to get caught on the piece of it that's about you, right,

623
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:17,840
Speaker 1: that's about us, where it's.

624
00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:18,840
Speaker 4: Like I'm just wondering who I am.

625
00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:22,240
Speaker 1: But on the other side of that, really from like

626
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:25,000
Speaker 1: a dharma purpose perspective, is that we then get to

627
00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:29,800
Speaker 1: go be in the world as this really embodied, authentic

628
00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:34,200
Speaker 1: version of ourselves which embodies or you know, which allows

629
00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 1: and empowers everyone else to do the same because if

630
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:39,560
Speaker 1: you get to be authentic, and if authentic you means

631
00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:43,320
Speaker 1: I'm someone that has really big emotions and feels big

632
00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:49,160
Speaker 1: emotions and expresses my feelings, then that allows someone else

633
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:51,239
Speaker 1: to do the same thing. Right, So it ends up

634
00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:55,160
Speaker 1: being this really incredible ripple that then.

635
00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:58,040
Speaker 3: Get shared of the world, and which is why we

636
00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:01,760
Speaker 3: do this work and it's scary. Yeah, it's scary because

637
00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:05,400
Speaker 3: there are going to be moments when people come into

638
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:10,319
Speaker 3: your life that you develop care and concern for, and

639
00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:14,080
Speaker 3: in being yourself, you might realize that the things that

640
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:19,400
Speaker 3: you thought that you wanted aren't necessarily what's serving your

641
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:21,359
Speaker 3: authentic self for your higher purpose.

642
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:24,040
Speaker 1: Right or what right what you wanted versus what you

643
00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:27,480
Speaker 1: wanted or what other people wanted for you. I read

644
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:29,759
Speaker 1: this I was just having a voice note back and

645
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:30,800
Speaker 1: forth with a friend of mine.

646
00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:32,879
Speaker 4: About this love a voice note. I love a.

647
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,680
Speaker 1: Long voice note. I love it so much. I usually

648
00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:37,560
Speaker 1: start with like, I'm so sorry that I'm sending you

649
00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:38,040
Speaker 1: a voice note.

650
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:40,680
Speaker 4: But here we are. It's my authentic self. What can

651
00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:41,000
Speaker 4: I say?

652
00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:45,120
Speaker 1: I saw this Instagram like whatever image at one point,

653
00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:48,600
Speaker 1: which was this whole poem about looking at what parts

654
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:52,759
Speaker 1: of your personality are really a trauma response, and that

655
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:55,239
Speaker 1: really hits me up in the.

656
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:56,200
Speaker 4: Best way possible.

657
00:34:56,640 --> 00:34:58,799
Speaker 1: It really because I thought about it, and I still

658
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:02,480
Speaker 1: think about I think about, Wow, oh, you know, I

659
00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:05,120
Speaker 1: used to be very sarcastic and very sort of self deprecating,

660
00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:08,360
Speaker 1: and I'm you know, I realized through all of this

661
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:11,200
Speaker 1: work that's not actually who I am. I am very

662
00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:16,360
Speaker 1: New York like quick wit loves loves an under one liner,

663
00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:17,160
Speaker 1: right that.

664
00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:20,320
Speaker 4: We'll go into the conversation.

665
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:24,319
Speaker 1: But the sarcastic self deprecating that is not who I am.

666
00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:26,080
Speaker 1: That's a trauma response, and that's the way that I

667
00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:31,120
Speaker 1: avoid pain or shame or discomfort or right. So I

668
00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:35,480
Speaker 1: think it's also really powerful when you realize that in

669
00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:37,480
Speaker 1: this journey of discovering who you really are, you will

670
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:41,239
Speaker 1: also discover who you are not, and some of those

671
00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:43,480
Speaker 1: things will probably fall into that category of who you've

672
00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:43,879
Speaker 1: been being.

673
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:49,080
Speaker 3: Wow, I'm like thinking about the beauty and discovering who

674
00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:52,200
Speaker 3: you are not, because I mean this goes back to

675
00:35:52,239 --> 00:35:54,399
Speaker 3: the concept of like the stories that we're telling ourselves, right,

676
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:57,839
Speaker 3: And so here you are telling yourself that like this

677
00:35:57,880 --> 00:36:00,400
Speaker 3: is so who I am, and then you realize like, no,

678
00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:02,160
Speaker 3: this is just the wall that I'm putting up to

679
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:02,960
Speaker 3: protect myself.

680
00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:05,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, which is great and we all do that, yes,

681
00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:09,160
Speaker 1: right yea. And so discovering who you really are, you

682
00:36:09,239 --> 00:36:13,359
Speaker 1: might realize at some point, oh, I'm not actually too much.

683
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:17,120
Speaker 1: And when I feel when I'm acknowledging myself and loving

684
00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:21,400
Speaker 1: myself and I'm receiving that with people around me, I

685
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:24,520
Speaker 1: don't actually feel the need to whatever it is that's

686
00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:27,759
Speaker 1: too much. Sometimes I'm not saying that all your entire

687
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:30,000
Speaker 1: being is right, it's a trauma response.

688
00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:31,280
Speaker 4: But we'll use that as an example.

689
00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:33,719
Speaker 1: Right, But there are things that we all do that

690
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:37,279
Speaker 1: we think are who we are, and it's not. It's

691
00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:40,640
Speaker 1: just part of this identity that we've created to feel

692
00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:45,000
Speaker 1: safe and to receive love and to receive belonging and acceptance.

693
00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:50,359
Speaker 1: And it's scary to put those things down because even

694
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:54,040
Speaker 1: if they're dysfunctional, they have served you.

695
00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:59,720
Speaker 3: You talked so beautifully before about this sense of deeper

696
00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:06,080
Speaker 3: perur knowing that this difficult situation would eventually have the

697
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:09,279
Speaker 3: potential to open up doors for you. What doors have

698
00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:12,759
Speaker 3: opened for you since receiving your diagnosis.

699
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:16,080
Speaker 1: I've connected with so many people that have been diagnosed

700
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:19,960
Speaker 1: with MS and who have never meditated before and had

701
00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:23,200
Speaker 1: no idea that so many of these tools exist as

702
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:28,520
Speaker 1: a way to cope with challenges, cope with symptoms, change

703
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:31,799
Speaker 1: their relationship with their body where they're really kind of

704
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:33,960
Speaker 1: on the same team as their body, which I think

705
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:37,759
Speaker 1: is something that I really feel called to bring into

706
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:38,520
Speaker 1: the conversation.

707
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:39,520
Speaker 4: You know so much.

708
00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:43,560
Speaker 1: So much of what I see, understandably with MS with

709
00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:47,120
Speaker 1: cancer is just this very there's so much anger, and.

710
00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:49,160
Speaker 4: It's like FMS and like f cancer.

711
00:37:49,239 --> 00:37:55,440
Speaker 1: And while I understand nobody wants this, I'm such a

712
00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:59,759
Speaker 1: believer that accepting what is and not fighting with what

713
00:37:59,920 --> 00:38:01,839
Speaker 1: is doesn't mean you like it. It doesn't mean you

714
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:03,680
Speaker 1: are happy with it, doesn't mean you wanted it. It

715
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:05,759
Speaker 1: just means you're not going to argue with reality. And

716
00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:10,359
Speaker 1: when you let go of fighting with what exists right now,

717
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:13,200
Speaker 1: it opens up so much energy to shift how you

718
00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:17,200
Speaker 1: feel about it moving forward. So I'm so grateful for

719
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:21,360
Speaker 1: the organizations that I'm starting to work with and the

720
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:23,680
Speaker 1: people that I get to connect with, and really the

721
00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:29,120
Speaker 1: clarity and the resurgence of purpose that it has given me.

722
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:31,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, which is just so special.

723
00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:33,279
Speaker 3: Right to be able to take this step back and

724
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:35,800
Speaker 3: ask yourself, what is it in my life right now

725
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:39,759
Speaker 3: that I truly deem valuable and how can I be

726
00:38:40,640 --> 00:39:04,680
Speaker 3: putting my energy into those things? Relationships, tasks, opportunities, et cetera. Yeah,

727
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:08,719
Speaker 3: When you now take a step back and you examine

728
00:39:08,719 --> 00:39:12,080
Speaker 3: the toolbox that is your meditation practice, it is a

729
00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:17,000
Speaker 3: large toolbox. It is a large toolbox. So knowing that

730
00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:22,600
Speaker 3: you have all of these tools at your disposal, is

731
00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:25,719
Speaker 3: there any which one or which way that you've been

732
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:30,520
Speaker 3: able to utilize now more so than ever, to enable

733
00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:33,600
Speaker 3: you to step into your power in these difficult situations.

734
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:41,919
Speaker 1: I think, from like a tangible tools perspective, meditation to

735
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:44,240
Speaker 1: continue to change, which is what is available for everyone,

736
00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:47,280
Speaker 1: by the way, not just me, but when you meditate,

737
00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:49,880
Speaker 1: you really start to physiologically change the way your nervous

738
00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:53,200
Speaker 1: system responds to stress. So there's which is what I

739
00:39:53,239 --> 00:39:58,280
Speaker 1: experienced in the hospital. There's this window that's available between

740
00:39:58,680 --> 00:40:01,719
Speaker 1: the stimulus and your response. You don't have that automatic

741
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:05,840
Speaker 1: I'm having this reactive moment and in that space between

742
00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:10,160
Speaker 1: you get to kind of choose and witness what you're

743
00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:12,000
Speaker 1: thinking and feeling and then say, okay, what do I

744
00:40:12,040 --> 00:40:15,200
Speaker 1: want to do with this information? Which, unfortunately, when you

745
00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:19,040
Speaker 1: don't have that is when you lose a lot of

746
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:22,080
Speaker 1: agency over your experience. I mean even in the hospital,

747
00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:25,440
Speaker 1: I you know, I was in the er, I got

748
00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:29,520
Speaker 1: an MRI. The neurologist came back down and said, you know,

749
00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:32,880
Speaker 1: you have an active active inflammation on this one lesion.

750
00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:35,440
Speaker 1: That's why you're losing your eyesight. You know, we're comfortable

751
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:38,160
Speaker 1: diagnosing you with multiple sclerosis. We're going to admit you

752
00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:41,759
Speaker 1: for five days, give you IV steroids, and then you know,

753
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:45,960
Speaker 1: you'll move forward from there. And I said, why do

754
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:47,720
Speaker 1: I need to be in the hospital for five days

755
00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:48,040
Speaker 1: for that?

756
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:48,279
Speaker 2: Oh?

757
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:49,960
Speaker 1: And they also wanted to give me a lumbar puncture.

758
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:51,600
Speaker 1: They said, we're going to give you a lumbar puncture.

759
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:54,120
Speaker 1: We're going to admit you for five days. And I said,

760
00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:56,560
Speaker 1: I said, what's the lumbar puncture for? And they said, well,

761
00:40:56,600 --> 00:41:00,440
Speaker 1: we might need that for some diagnostic markers. They said that,

762
00:41:00,480 --> 00:41:02,680
Speaker 1: I guess before I got that, maybe the MRI. And

763
00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:05,600
Speaker 1: then I said, why, uh, why do I need to

764
00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:07,120
Speaker 1: be in the hospital for five days? And they said, well,

765
00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:08,640
Speaker 1: we need to give you IV steroids And they said, well,

766
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:10,640
Speaker 1: can I come in and get them? They said it

767
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:11,880
Speaker 1: takes not an hour. I said, can I come in

768
00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:14,439
Speaker 1: every day and get the IV? And they said, well,

769
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:16,799
Speaker 1: maybe we can check with your insurance to see if

770
00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:19,160
Speaker 1: they would cover. We can't do that, but maybe they

771
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:21,520
Speaker 1: would cover someone come in to your home. So instead

772
00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:24,239
Speaker 1: of since being there for five days, I was there

773
00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:27,040
Speaker 1: for one night and then I came home and somebody

774
00:41:27,040 --> 00:41:30,160
Speaker 1: came to my house because of my assurance and gave

775
00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:32,440
Speaker 1: me an IV steroid because I asked a question about

776
00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:35,520
Speaker 1: a lumbar puncture. I didn't end up getting a lumbar puncture,

777
00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:39,120
Speaker 1: which is, you know, a fairly invasive, uncomfortable procedure. Because

778
00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:43,440
Speaker 1: they didn't end up needing that information. None of that

779
00:41:43,719 --> 00:41:46,719
Speaker 1: advocacy would have been available to me if I was

780
00:41:47,840 --> 00:41:51,480
Speaker 1: in a reactive stress response. Right right, so have And

781
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:57,279
Speaker 1: again this is why building these muscles prior to Yes,

782
00:41:57,360 --> 00:41:59,480
Speaker 1: I can teach you moment like what to do in moments,

783
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:03,680
Speaker 1: but building these muscles prior to the big weight being

784
00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:06,960
Speaker 1: dropped in front of you is really what changes your

785
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:08,839
Speaker 1: response in that moment. So I would say Tool number

786
00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:14,160
Speaker 1: one is obviously my meditation practice, which has changed literally

787
00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:17,960
Speaker 1: how my body shows up and the ability to respond

788
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:24,319
Speaker 1: instead of react, changing my relationship with emotions through I

789
00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:27,800
Speaker 1: mean meditation through maybe something like tapping, like an EFT

790
00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:31,720
Speaker 1: tapping technique when I'm having a feeling.

791
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:34,320
Speaker 2: For someone who doesn't know EFT, yeah.

792
00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:37,200
Speaker 1: Emotional freedom technique, it's I mean it's literally tapping your

793
00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:41,879
Speaker 1: body or somatic shaking. I love practicing shaking. We call

794
00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:44,479
Speaker 1: it all these esoteric things. You're just like shaking your body.

795
00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:47,320
Speaker 1: It's not that serious, but you know, even just shaking

796
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:51,839
Speaker 1: your body for sixty seconds two minutes. Humans are some

797
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:55,439
Speaker 1: of the only mammals animals and captivity and humans really

798
00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:57,920
Speaker 1: are the only two mammals that don't shake out their

799
00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:01,600
Speaker 1: stress automatically. I mean, if you ever notice a dog

800
00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:04,000
Speaker 1: when they you know, when I walk my dog and

801
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,680
Speaker 1: there's a dog across the street that's barking at him,

802
00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:09,040
Speaker 1: and even if nothing physically happens, if there's like a

803
00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:12,520
Speaker 1: moment of that, instantly he will and not just like

804
00:43:12,560 --> 00:43:15,560
Speaker 1: some like bs like let me like vigorously shake out

805
00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:18,319
Speaker 1: his body, right, Notice how often you see animals doing

806
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:20,440
Speaker 1: that because it's an automatic response for humans.

807
00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:21,720
Speaker 4: It's not an automatic response.

808
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:26,960
Speaker 1: Humans just hold and swallow or sometimes they might verbally

809
00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:31,800
Speaker 1: right let something out. But having a practice of shaking

810
00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:37,800
Speaker 1: tapping out energy emotions like huge toll for me, love shaking, shaking,

811
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:41,279
Speaker 1: love shaking. And then and then yeah, that third one

812
00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:45,799
Speaker 1: is really continuing to ask yourself, like what can I

813
00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:47,839
Speaker 1: take from this that I'm on board with?

814
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:52,239
Speaker 4: What can I take from this? That is nectar and

815
00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:53,280
Speaker 4: not poison.

816
00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:54,840
Speaker 2: Nectar and not poison.

817
00:43:55,239 --> 00:43:59,120
Speaker 3: You said that, Yes, I can give you an example

818
00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:01,399
Speaker 3: of what to do in the moment. Let's talk about

819
00:44:01,400 --> 00:44:06,120
Speaker 3: what to do in the moment when a stressful situation

820
00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:11,759
Speaker 3: arises something unexpected. What would you recommend to someone so

821
00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:15,360
Speaker 3: that they can, at the very least make an attempt

822
00:44:15,440 --> 00:44:17,759
Speaker 3: to come back to calm and reclaim some of that

823
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:18,440
Speaker 3: mental space.

824
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:20,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love a few rounds of a four to

825
00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:23,880
Speaker 1: seven eight breath. Breathing in for four, hold it for seven,

826
00:44:24,360 --> 00:44:28,920
Speaker 1: excel out for eight. Anytime you can regulate your breathing,

827
00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:31,359
Speaker 1: it sends a message to your nervous system that you're

828
00:44:31,360 --> 00:44:34,279
Speaker 1: not actually in mortal danger in that moment. If you

829
00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:36,520
Speaker 1: really were in mortal danger and you were fighting or

830
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:40,360
Speaker 1: running or freezing for your life, your body wouldn't be

831
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:43,160
Speaker 1: able to if you were running from a tiger, rightah,

832
00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:45,239
Speaker 1: all the tigers in the world that are always just

833
00:44:45,239 --> 00:44:47,319
Speaker 1: trying to get to us, If you were running from

834
00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:50,120
Speaker 1: a tiger, you wouldn't be able to say to yourself, Okay,

835
00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:53,000
Speaker 1: let's breathe in for four and ruld. Your body would

836
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:55,480
Speaker 1: automatically do whatever with the breath that needed to do

837
00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:58,000
Speaker 1: to either rev you up or slow you down. So

838
00:44:58,080 --> 00:45:01,000
Speaker 1: anytime you can regulate your breathing number one, it always

839
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:02,440
Speaker 1: brings you back to this moment.

840
00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:03,320
Speaker 4: Your breath.

841
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:05,560
Speaker 1: Never your body is never thinking about a past breath,

842
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:07,520
Speaker 1: it's never anticipating a future breath. So if you can

843
00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:10,319
Speaker 1: bring yourself back to your breath, you're here, which is

844
00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:13,240
Speaker 1: not usually what we're stressed about. It's usually a future

845
00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:16,080
Speaker 1: thing that we're thinking about. And again, it sends that

846
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:18,640
Speaker 1: message to your nervous system that Okay, we're not actually

847
00:45:18,680 --> 00:45:20,600
Speaker 1: in mortal danger. And you can even say to yourself

848
00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:23,919
Speaker 1: in the moment, I'm not in mortal danger, like top

849
00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:26,000
Speaker 1: on your chest, even though this feels really scary, even

850
00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:29,760
Speaker 1: though this feels like the thing that's going to overwhelm

851
00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:31,640
Speaker 1: me and take me down, I'm not in mortal danger

852
00:45:31,719 --> 00:45:36,680
Speaker 1: right now. Four seventy breath shaking any It's so much

853
00:45:36,719 --> 00:45:38,600
Speaker 1: of it is the somatic, the body stuff in.

854
00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:41,759
Speaker 2: That and highlighting the importance of a longer exhale.

855
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:45,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, slowing down, yes, so your inhale is shorter

856
00:45:45,640 --> 00:45:46,560
Speaker 1: than your exhale.

857
00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:46,919
Speaker 2: Right.

858
00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:52,759
Speaker 3: It is a tool that is the most readily available

859
00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:57,640
Speaker 3: to us, that is arguably the most underused, the breath.

860
00:45:57,840 --> 00:46:02,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is some thing that when.

861
00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:06,120
Speaker 3: It feels as though everything is out of our control,

862
00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:11,799
Speaker 3: is within our control. But because the stimulus can be

863
00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:15,360
Speaker 3: so overwhelming, it's understandably easy to forget that.

864
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:22,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, it's also meditation, working with your breath. Sometimes,

865
00:46:22,440 --> 00:46:25,920
Speaker 1: I think the most simple tools and things that we

866
00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:29,080
Speaker 1: can learn and strengthen that the simpler they are, the

867
00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:34,719
Speaker 1: harder it is to implement them, to practice them. You know,

868
00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:41,160
Speaker 1: we're so trained to want to be doing and meditation

869
00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:45,600
Speaker 1: and you know, focusing on your breath are passive, They're boring,

870
00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:48,279
Speaker 1: you know. And yes, maybe you have the meditation where

871
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:51,120
Speaker 1: you you know, see the light or you have some

872
00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:53,880
Speaker 1: right moment of clarity about who you are in your life,

873
00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:55,680
Speaker 1: but you know, a lot of the time, it feels

874
00:46:55,680 --> 00:46:57,760
Speaker 1: like sitting and doing nothing. So I think it's also

875
00:46:57,840 --> 00:47:04,360
Speaker 1: about redefining what working these tools looks like.

876
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:08,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, I do think it's of importance to note that

877
00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:13,560
Speaker 3: in your journey to becoming a meditation practitioner and now

878
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:15,920
Speaker 3: an author and someone who does a fair amount of speaking,

879
00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:19,719
Speaker 3: you had a really great opportunity to learn from some

880
00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:23,359
Speaker 3: really excellent teachers in your day. Let's shed some light

881
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:26,120
Speaker 3: on that and then perhaps talk a little bit about

882
00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:29,000
Speaker 3: perhaps the most foundational lessons you learned from that time.

883
00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:33,400
Speaker 1: I was experiencing all these physical symptoms and from stress

884
00:47:33,440 --> 00:47:35,799
Speaker 1: in my life, and my therapistaid, I think you should

885
00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:38,800
Speaker 1: learn how to meditate. And that was two thousand and nine,

886
00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:42,040
Speaker 1: so there were no apps, there were no studios there.

887
00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:44,480
Speaker 1: Meditation was not a multi billion dollar business at that point.

888
00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:47,040
Speaker 1: It was super woo woo and not something that you

889
00:47:47,080 --> 00:47:51,920
Speaker 1: could easily access. And I googled wellness Southern California and

890
00:47:51,960 --> 00:47:54,840
Speaker 1: the first thing they came up with Deepak Choprah's Wellness Center.

891
00:47:55,120 --> 00:47:56,360
Speaker 1: I called my mom and I said, do you know

892
00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:58,560
Speaker 1: who this is? Is this like a cult? What are

893
00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:00,239
Speaker 1: like is? I had never heard of deepok d or

894
00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:03,480
Speaker 1: none of this was in my upbringing. And she, you know,

895
00:48:03,520 --> 00:48:05,239
Speaker 1: she kind of like chuckled that. She was like, no, yeah,

896
00:48:05,239 --> 00:48:06,560
Speaker 1: of course I knew who that is and I know

897
00:48:06,640 --> 00:48:09,880
Speaker 1: it's not a cult, and yeah, check it out. And

898
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:12,520
Speaker 1: so I went down to San Diego, which is where

899
00:48:12,520 --> 00:48:16,960
Speaker 1: the center was at the time, and I'll never forget

900
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:19,480
Speaker 1: I had like a mind body medical consultation with a

901
00:48:19,600 --> 00:48:22,000
Speaker 1: doctor with like a Western MD there, but that was

902
00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:27,040
Speaker 1: very integrative and I took an intro to meditation class

903
00:48:27,080 --> 00:48:30,520
Speaker 1: and I paid for, you know, an overpriced salmon salad

904
00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:32,799
Speaker 1: at La Costa, which is where the center was at

905
00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:34,680
Speaker 1: the time, beautiful resort, and.

906
00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:38,279
Speaker 4: I remember feeling a sense of.

907
00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:43,279
Speaker 1: Resonance with so much of what I was hearing and

908
00:48:43,360 --> 00:48:45,919
Speaker 1: what was being shared with me. And I remember having

909
00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:47,560
Speaker 1: this feeling, and I'll never forget. I was like eating

910
00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:50,000
Speaker 1: my overpriced salmon salad and I called my mom and

911
00:48:50,040 --> 00:48:53,279
Speaker 1: I said, I think that I can heal here with

912
00:48:53,880 --> 00:48:55,800
Speaker 1: all of these things that I'm learning and these ways

913
00:48:55,840 --> 00:48:57,840
Speaker 1: of thinking about my body differently, which is like a

914
00:48:57,920 --> 00:49:01,120
Speaker 1: huge foundational tool that I've carried with me and then

915
00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:04,279
Speaker 1: I use all the time, even with my MS. I

916
00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:08,120
Speaker 1: had chronic hives at the time when I went down there,

917
00:49:08,360 --> 00:49:13,120
Speaker 1: and the doctor that I saw said, you know, I

918
00:49:13,160 --> 00:49:15,000
Speaker 1: want you to stop thinking of the symptoms that you're

919
00:49:15,040 --> 00:49:18,120
Speaker 1: experiencing as something that's wrong, and just think of it

920
00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:19,680
Speaker 1: as a way that your body's trying to talk to

921
00:49:19,719 --> 00:49:22,800
Speaker 1: you and tell you that there's an imbalance. And instead

922
00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:24,759
Speaker 1: of just trying to fix the symptom, I want you

923
00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:29,200
Speaker 1: to really start embracing your body and talking to it.

924
00:49:29,239 --> 00:49:31,000
Speaker 1: And she said, she said I want you to get

925
00:49:31,239 --> 00:49:33,319
Speaker 1: coconut oil and I want you to put it on

926
00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:35,680
Speaker 1: your hives, and I want you to start rubbing your hives,

927
00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:37,600
Speaker 1: and I want you to say to your body, I

928
00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:40,000
Speaker 1: hear you, I hear what you're trying to tell me.

929
00:49:40,040 --> 00:49:42,239
Speaker 1: I'm working on it, like we're going to fix this.

930
00:49:43,280 --> 00:49:46,000
Speaker 1: Thinking of your body as you know, a layer of

931
00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:49,200
Speaker 1: your being and like me, which is not how I

932
00:49:49,200 --> 00:49:50,759
Speaker 1: ever thought about my body. I always thought of it

933
00:49:50,840 --> 00:49:53,520
Speaker 1: as this thing that I was sort of fighting with

934
00:49:54,560 --> 00:50:00,320
Speaker 1: very regularly. And so after that, I went and I put,

935
00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:03,359
Speaker 1: you know, a week long retreat on a credit card

936
00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:07,439
Speaker 1: and went down there and did something called Ponta Karma,

937
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:12,720
Speaker 1: which is this very thorough, intense five step cleanse Indian

938
00:50:12,800 --> 00:50:17,160
Speaker 1: cleans And within a year I was working there. And

939
00:50:17,200 --> 00:50:20,560
Speaker 1: when I say yes, I worked with incredible people, but

940
00:50:20,600 --> 00:50:22,959
Speaker 1: it had nothing to do with me. One other huge

941
00:50:22,960 --> 00:50:25,719
Speaker 1: foundational lesson that I didn't even realize I was practicing

942
00:50:25,960 --> 00:50:30,719
Speaker 1: was what happens on the other side of acknowledging what

943
00:50:30,760 --> 00:50:33,080
Speaker 1: you really want. And what I connected with after I

944
00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:37,359
Speaker 1: had really experienced so much transformation through these teachings was

945
00:50:37,600 --> 00:50:39,920
Speaker 1: I want to help people transform their life. I want

946
00:50:39,960 --> 00:50:42,600
Speaker 1: to help people like remember who they really are and

947
00:50:42,680 --> 00:50:44,799
Speaker 1: transform their life the way mine has been transformed.

948
00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:47,400
Speaker 4: And I didn't. I didn't have an attachment to what

949
00:50:47,440 --> 00:50:47,920
Speaker 4: that looked like.

950
00:50:48,520 --> 00:50:48,719
Speaker 2: Right.

951
00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:51,200
Speaker 4: I didn't say I want to work with Deepak Chopra.

952
00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:53,719
Speaker 1: I mean I interviewed atlule Lemon and Beverly Hills because

953
00:50:53,719 --> 00:50:57,160
Speaker 1: I thought maybe I transformed the world with wonder unders

954
00:50:57,160 --> 00:50:59,920
Speaker 1: like I don't know, maybe they're great legging. It's true,

955
00:51:00,600 --> 00:51:04,320
Speaker 1: I didn't get the job just so were their wonder arnders.

956
00:51:04,360 --> 00:51:07,319
Speaker 1: Weren't your game, they were not my purpose, it turns out,

957
00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:09,239
Speaker 1: although I did become a little Lemon ambassador and I

958
00:51:09,280 --> 00:51:11,360
Speaker 1: did so much work with them, so you know, maybe

959
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:14,440
Speaker 1: I was maybe I was glimpsing something to come, But

960
00:51:15,239 --> 00:51:18,360
Speaker 1: I you know, knew that I wanted to help people

961
00:51:18,400 --> 00:51:21,359
Speaker 1: and was super open to whatever that looked like. And

962
00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:26,440
Speaker 1: because of that level of detachment, while also having this

963
00:51:26,560 --> 00:51:31,680
Speaker 1: deep connection to the why underneath the desire, which is

964
00:51:31,680 --> 00:51:34,399
Speaker 1: why I always tell people when you're manifesting something, think

965
00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:36,799
Speaker 1: about why you want it, not just what you want,

966
00:51:37,840 --> 00:51:43,279
Speaker 1: And when you can be dedicated to the why and

967
00:51:43,360 --> 00:51:46,839
Speaker 1: really open to the what it really and like surrendered

968
00:51:47,200 --> 00:51:51,040
Speaker 1: truly like I'll do whatever it really gives, I think

969
00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:52,840
Speaker 1: the universe a chance to like pick you up and

970
00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:55,840
Speaker 1: place you in the greatest possible version of that what

971
00:51:56,600 --> 00:52:00,759
Speaker 1: which for me was very synchronistically without ever applying for

972
00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:03,600
Speaker 1: a job, without having any experience, like without having any

973
00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:05,800
Speaker 1: reason on paper that I should have been hired getting

974
00:52:05,840 --> 00:52:08,280
Speaker 1: a job working for the show presenter.

975
00:52:08,440 --> 00:52:09,359
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know.

976
00:52:09,440 --> 00:52:11,480
Speaker 1: And I moved to San Diego and I worked there

977
00:52:11,480 --> 00:52:13,840
Speaker 1: for a few years full time and became a teacher

978
00:52:14,040 --> 00:52:17,680
Speaker 1: underneath depok there and was around you know, I think back,

979
00:52:17,880 --> 00:52:21,120
Speaker 1: just again, not a credit to me doing anything, just

980
00:52:21,520 --> 00:52:24,600
Speaker 1: being so open and in a space of surrender. But

981
00:52:24,640 --> 00:52:28,200
Speaker 1: I was surrounded by you know, Wayne Dyer and Eckhart

982
00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:32,360
Speaker 1: Toll and Marian Williamson, I mean, just the titans of

983
00:52:33,320 --> 00:52:36,400
Speaker 1: what we would consider these spiritual thought leaders, and learning

984
00:52:36,440 --> 00:52:41,799
Speaker 1: from them and learning how to hold space and facilitate

985
00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:44,120
Speaker 1: this work for others. And I mean I really got

986
00:52:45,200 --> 00:52:46,920
Speaker 1: a master's in that.

987
00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:50,960
Speaker 3: Work, circling back to learning from them. When you think

988
00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:58,000
Speaker 3: about the most valuable takeaway from that time in your life,

989
00:52:58,239 --> 00:53:01,120
Speaker 3: what comes to mind, you.

990
00:53:01,080 --> 00:53:04,319
Speaker 1: Are not your thoughts, like one of the biggest sort

991
00:53:04,360 --> 00:53:08,640
Speaker 1: of like just mic spiritual mic drops that I ever

992
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:11,000
Speaker 1: heard you puck shop er se, you are not your thoughts.

993
00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:12,839
Speaker 4: You don't have to believe every thought you have.

994
00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:15,440
Speaker 1: I heard that in that first I think week that

995
00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:21,239
Speaker 1: I was there meditating, and I had never thought of

996
00:53:21,280 --> 00:53:23,839
Speaker 1: my mind like that, And I was just running around

997
00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:26,480
Speaker 1: believing every batshit crazy that I had, which is why

998
00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:28,279
Speaker 1: my life looked the way that it looked right and

999
00:53:28,320 --> 00:53:31,000
Speaker 1: why I was experiencing life the way that I was

1000
00:53:31,040 --> 00:53:33,799
Speaker 1: experiencing it. Yeah, you don't have to believe every thought

1001
00:53:33,840 --> 00:53:34,120
Speaker 1: you have.

1002
00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:39,120
Speaker 3: What is it that your hope is for individuals that

1003
00:53:39,360 --> 00:53:43,960
Speaker 3: come into contact with you as your most authentic self?

1004
00:53:43,960 --> 00:53:47,040
Speaker 2: What is it that you hope that they walk away with?

1005
00:53:47,840 --> 00:53:50,520
Speaker 4: M I hope that.

1006
00:53:52,520 --> 00:53:56,239
Speaker 1: They walk away with either a little bit more of

1007
00:53:56,280 --> 00:54:02,080
Speaker 1: a glimpse of who they really are or a knowingness

1008
00:54:02,120 --> 00:54:06,960
Speaker 1: that there is a path to find that. That's really

1009
00:54:07,719 --> 00:54:10,640
Speaker 1: That's really what I feel connected to as a sense

1010
00:54:10,680 --> 00:54:16,240
Speaker 1: of purpose is, you know, remembering who I am and

1011
00:54:16,760 --> 00:54:18,279
Speaker 1: being a space to.

1012
00:54:18,960 --> 00:54:21,400
Speaker 2: Help other people, being a space, being.

1013
00:54:22,760 --> 00:54:26,640
Speaker 1: A container, creating a container for somebody feels safe enough

1014
00:54:26,680 --> 00:54:28,560
Speaker 1: to say, wow, I don't know who I am or

1015
00:54:28,560 --> 00:54:31,040
Speaker 1: this is not who I am, and who am I

1016
00:54:31,680 --> 00:54:34,560
Speaker 1: it's so, you know, I talk about the stuff all

1017
00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:37,279
Speaker 1: the time, so I sometimes have to remind myself. It's

1018
00:54:37,320 --> 00:54:42,439
Speaker 1: really vulnerable and sometimes terrifying and sometimes really uncomfortable to say,

1019
00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:46,120
Speaker 1: I don't think I know who I am. And I

1020
00:54:46,160 --> 00:54:49,400
Speaker 1: see a lot of external things that kind of resemble

1021
00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:52,399
Speaker 1: who I am. But if that's not who I am,

1022
00:54:53,719 --> 00:54:55,160
Speaker 1: I don't I don't know who I am.

1023
00:54:55,360 --> 00:54:57,680
Speaker 3: And this goes back to our entire conversation about finding

1024
00:54:57,760 --> 00:55:02,040
Speaker 3: your validation and like sense of self worth in external factors.

1025
00:55:02,440 --> 00:55:06,240
Speaker 3: But that's not why it's called self worth. Yeah, right, Yeah,

1026
00:55:06,280 --> 00:55:08,920
Speaker 3: it's about you. Yeah, and it starts with you. And

1027
00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:13,279
Speaker 3: so to have the opportunity to sit down here with

1028
00:55:13,320 --> 00:55:18,120
Speaker 3: you today and garner that sense of how great is

1029
00:55:18,160 --> 00:55:20,040
Speaker 3: it that we have this opportunity to figure out who

1030
00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:21,880
Speaker 3: it is that we are and live that each and

1031
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:23,920
Speaker 3: every day, It truly is that.

1032
00:55:23,960 --> 00:55:26,439
Speaker 4: It's like the chills, that's what we're here to do.

1033
00:55:27,840 --> 00:55:30,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, when you look in the mirror, Megan, what do

1034
00:55:30,360 --> 00:55:31,360
Speaker 3: you see looking back at you?

1035
00:55:32,600 --> 00:55:36,200
Speaker 1: I love that question, I see. I mean, I think

1036
00:55:36,239 --> 00:55:38,080
Speaker 1: it depends on the day. It depends on the day,

1037
00:55:38,120 --> 00:55:41,160
Speaker 1: It depends on it depends on I think it honestly

1038
00:55:41,239 --> 00:55:45,160
Speaker 1: depends on what I'm moving through. In that moment, I see, though,

1039
00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:50,280
Speaker 1: I see someone that I am really proud of, and.

1040
00:55:50,160 --> 00:55:56,040
Speaker 4: I see I see like the little Megan.

1041
00:55:57,600 --> 00:55:59,719
Speaker 1: I think at this point in my life, like in

1042
00:55:59,719 --> 00:56:02,239
Speaker 1: this huge present moment, time and space, when I look

1043
00:56:02,239 --> 00:56:06,919
Speaker 1: in the mirror, I see that little Megan really kind

1044
00:56:06,920 --> 00:56:12,480
Speaker 1: of cheering me on to let go, like to just

1045
00:56:12,560 --> 00:56:13,280
Speaker 1: keep letting.

1046
00:56:13,080 --> 00:56:16,760
Speaker 2: Go, which is so powerful, right and just.

1047
00:56:17,239 --> 00:56:20,560
Speaker 4: Like lego, like just keep like letting go.

1048
00:56:20,800 --> 00:56:26,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, right, now you have an opportunity to offer yourself

1049
00:56:26,120 --> 00:56:29,319
Speaker 3: a piece of advice. Let's go right back to when

1050
00:56:29,640 --> 00:56:32,800
Speaker 3: you're sitting there in your short sun dress. You realize

1051
00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:36,600
Speaker 3: you're at forty percent. You have no idea what's about

1052
00:56:36,680 --> 00:56:40,840
Speaker 3: to be revealed to you. Knowing what you know, now,

1053
00:56:41,239 --> 00:56:43,720
Speaker 3: what do you tell yourself going through that Hurtle moment?

1054
00:56:44,680 --> 00:56:50,120
Speaker 1: I would say your greatest strength is not that you

1055
00:56:50,160 --> 00:56:55,319
Speaker 1: can navigate huge things by yourself, and that you are

1056
00:56:55,360 --> 00:56:58,120
Speaker 1: doing yourself a disservice if you don't invite people in

1057
00:56:58,120 --> 00:57:01,600
Speaker 1: to help you with this. Wow, that was such a

1058
00:57:01,680 --> 00:57:05,440
Speaker 1: like red flag moment. And again talk about parts of

1059
00:57:05,480 --> 00:57:08,359
Speaker 1: my personality that are actually just a trauma response. I

1060
00:57:08,400 --> 00:57:13,120
Speaker 1: am someone who you know likes to process alone, and

1061
00:57:13,320 --> 00:57:15,760
Speaker 1: you know, meditates for a living, which is a solo

1062
00:57:16,760 --> 00:57:21,560
Speaker 1: like withdrawn. Right, I'm like a master of withdrawing. That's

1063
00:57:21,560 --> 00:57:25,560
Speaker 1: not a healthy superpower to have, you know. And maybe

1064
00:57:25,560 --> 00:57:27,560
Speaker 1: it is as a meditation guide and as a you know,

1065
00:57:28,040 --> 00:57:32,320
Speaker 1: a meditator, great, But but I would tell her you

1066
00:57:32,360 --> 00:57:35,200
Speaker 1: don't have to sit here by yourself.

1067
00:57:35,680 --> 00:57:36,360
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1068
00:57:36,400 --> 00:57:41,480
Speaker 3: And also often because you are alone in being doesn't

1069
00:57:41,520 --> 00:57:46,080
Speaker 3: mean that you are alone period. Right. Yeah, So just

1070
00:57:46,200 --> 00:57:50,360
Speaker 3: because I work alone, and I often travel alone, and

1071
00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:52,800
Speaker 3: I live alone, it does not mean that I have

1072
00:57:52,880 --> 00:57:56,120
Speaker 3: to handle everything on my own. And that is such

1073
00:57:56,160 --> 00:58:00,280
Speaker 3: a powerful and beautiful realization to come by, Megan.

1074
00:58:00,280 --> 00:58:01,520
Speaker 2: I'm so happy that we did this today.

1075
00:58:01,600 --> 00:58:02,640
Speaker 4: I'm so happy we did that.

1076
00:58:02,800 --> 00:58:03,520
Speaker 2: For the people that.

1077
00:58:03,480 --> 00:58:06,680
Speaker 3: Aren't following along with you, just yet give us the info.

1078
00:58:06,760 --> 00:58:07,640
Speaker 3: How do they keep up with you?

1079
00:58:07,880 --> 00:58:08,200
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1080
00:58:08,400 --> 00:58:12,360
Speaker 1: You can always spiritually slide into my DMS. It's at

1081
00:58:12,440 --> 00:58:16,680
Speaker 1: Meg Monahan on Instagram. There's a twenty one day really

1082
00:58:16,720 --> 00:58:23,160
Speaker 1: accessible easy place to start meditation digital course at Meditate

1083
00:58:23,160 --> 00:58:26,400
Speaker 1: with Megan. So if you're wanting to bring a practice

1084
00:58:26,400 --> 00:58:28,120
Speaker 1: into your life, it's such a difficult thing to do

1085
00:58:28,160 --> 00:58:30,320
Speaker 1: on your own and I think apps right now can

1086
00:58:30,360 --> 00:58:33,320
Speaker 1: be really overwhelming with all of the choices. So if

1087
00:58:33,360 --> 00:58:36,120
Speaker 1: you're looking for that, it's literally twenty one days of

1088
00:58:36,560 --> 00:58:40,160
Speaker 1: meditations that take you from that mindset of surviving into thriving,

1089
00:58:40,200 --> 00:58:44,040
Speaker 1: which is really what we're talking about. Yeah, and I

1090
00:58:44,040 --> 00:58:46,320
Speaker 1: would love to stay connected with all of you, all

1091
00:58:46,360 --> 00:58:47,200
Speaker 1: of them, all of them.

1092
00:58:47,320 --> 00:58:50,040
Speaker 3: I'm over at Emily A. Vadi and at Hurdle Podcast

1093
00:58:50,120 --> 00:58:51,520
Speaker 3: Another Hurdle Conquered.

1094
00:58:51,760 --> 00:58:52,760
Speaker 2: Catch you guys next time.