1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,800 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Jonas is Sam your og Okay Storytime 2 00:00:02,840 --> 00:00:05,680 Speaker 1: podcast hosts. We have some great stories coming up, but. 3 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:07,120 Speaker 2: Before that, we have a quick two minute break from 4 00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:10,760 Speaker 2: the sponsors that keep the show alive. I crossed paths 5 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:15,440 Speaker 2: with my ex fiance's mistress after twelve years. 6 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:18,120 Speaker 1: I'm telling her new husband. 7 00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:21,960 Speaker 3: Everything, everything, everything, everything. 8 00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:26,119 Speaker 2: Twelve years ago, I thirty six female, was engaged and 9 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:29,240 Speaker 2: about to get married to Carl with a K. Everything 10 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:32,040 Speaker 2: in my life seemed perfect until I found out my 11 00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:35,400 Speaker 2: fiance was having an affair with a new hire at 12 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:39,120 Speaker 2: his job called Camilla, twenties female. Both of them were 13 00:00:39,159 --> 00:00:41,720 Speaker 2: in serious relationships. By the way, this comes from user 14 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:45,680 Speaker 2: throwaway fiance cheat on the r slash Okay Storytime suburd. 15 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:49,360 Speaker 2: So I broke off the engagement with Carl as soon 16 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:52,640 Speaker 2: as I found out and told Camilla's boyfriend about the cheating. 17 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:54,200 Speaker 3: Wow. 18 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:57,920 Speaker 1: The end someone who knows what to do the end. 19 00:00:57,920 --> 00:00:58,840 Speaker 3: Crazy, that's it. 20 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:01,120 Speaker 2: Well, it was hard for me, but I moved on 21 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:04,280 Speaker 2: after months of therapy and the help of my friends 22 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:07,360 Speaker 2: and family. Now I'm married to Henry forty one male, 23 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:12,280 Speaker 2: my amazing husband and father of our four children nine, seven, four. 24 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:15,680 Speaker 1: And four respectively. Two boys, two girls. Wow, congratulations. 25 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:18,000 Speaker 2: I moved to the other side of the country years 26 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:21,080 Speaker 2: ago and never thought about my ex fiance or the 27 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:24,199 Speaker 2: cheating again. My husband works in a law firm. Last 28 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 2: year they hired a new lawyer, Daniel thirty four male, 29 00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:28,919 Speaker 2: who moved with his family to live in our area. 30 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:31,679 Speaker 2: He and my husband became very good friends, as they 31 00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:35,720 Speaker 2: have similar interests and personalities. Henry asked me to invite 32 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:38,960 Speaker 2: Daniel's family to our house to help adjust. 33 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,080 Speaker 1: To the new city and jobs. 34 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:42,520 Speaker 2: When Daniel came to my house for a playdate for 35 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:45,399 Speaker 2: our kids, his kids are four male and two females, 36 00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:49,960 Speaker 2: he introduced us to his wife, Cam, thirty female. Well, 37 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:54,400 Speaker 2: Cam was come Milla. I really didn't know how to 38 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:57,080 Speaker 2: react when I recognized her. I had the impression that 39 00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:01,000 Speaker 2: she also recognized me. Our husbands didn't un understand why 40 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:03,520 Speaker 2: everything seemed so tense, and we pretended to not know 41 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,360 Speaker 2: each other and made fail attempts at small talk. After 42 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:09,400 Speaker 2: an hour, Cam made up an excuse and her family left. 43 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:12,200 Speaker 2: Henry noticed my behavior and asked me what was happening. 44 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:15,000 Speaker 2: I told him everything he already knew about my past 45 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,520 Speaker 2: with Carl and the affair. Later that day, I received 46 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:20,480 Speaker 2: a text from Camilla begging me not to tell Daniel 47 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:26,919 Speaker 2: about our past wow parking up the wrong tree Camilla 48 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:31,760 Speaker 2: h I read the message and didn't reply, but I 49 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:34,640 Speaker 2: decided to not say anything and buying my own business. 50 00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:36,480 Speaker 1: This was not my problem anymore. 51 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:38,960 Speaker 2: After a week of silence, Daniel shows up at our 52 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:42,080 Speaker 2: doorstep looking very agitated. He talked to my husband alone, 53 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:45,640 Speaker 2: and afterwards, Henry asked me to tell Daniel my version 54 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:50,240 Speaker 2: of everything. Like my husband, Daniel realized something weird happened 55 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:52,200 Speaker 2: on our meeting and spent the week trying to get 56 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:55,079 Speaker 2: answers from his wife. She refused to tell him what happened, 57 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:57,760 Speaker 2: and then tried to say I was her ex boyfriend's 58 00:02:57,919 --> 00:02:59,560 Speaker 2: side chick, and that's why we. 59 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:00,000 Speaker 1: Were so teped. 60 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:03,320 Speaker 3: What do people like to lie? Why do people dig 61 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:07,079 Speaker 3: these deep dark lies? That is a desperate one too, Yeah, 62 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:09,079 Speaker 3: that is like like if I tell him this lie, 63 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:10,959 Speaker 3: they won't find out. They'll never go to the person 64 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,160 Speaker 3: with the truth. They'll never do that, They'll just listen 65 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:13,400 Speaker 3: to me. 66 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:16,480 Speaker 2: Sometimes a hard truth is better than an ugly lie. 67 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:18,800 Speaker 2: I mean more often than not, just all ugly. 68 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:20,440 Speaker 1: Are you proud of me? I? Made that up on 69 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:20,800 Speaker 1: the spot. 70 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:21,680 Speaker 3: I'm always proud of you. 71 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:24,079 Speaker 1: A hard truths better than an ugly lie. 72 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:27,880 Speaker 2: Baby boy, Daniel didn't buy this story and they had 73 00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:30,840 Speaker 2: a massive fight about it. After the fight, he realized 74 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:32,480 Speaker 2: I was the one that could tell him the truth, 75 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:35,360 Speaker 2: and I did tell him everything after he asked. I 76 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:37,760 Speaker 2: even showed him the text message Camilla sent me. I 77 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,240 Speaker 2: didn't feel the need to sugarcoat things since Camilla was 78 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:42,920 Speaker 2: out there telling lies about me. Daniel was in complete 79 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:45,960 Speaker 2: shock because cheating is a trigger for him. His father 80 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:49,000 Speaker 2: cheated on his mom for years and left the family 81 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:51,600 Speaker 2: for his mistress, which made him hate cheaters. 82 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:58,920 Speaker 1: Camilla knew about this since their first date. You're literally 83 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:00,000 Speaker 1: a villain, Camilla. 84 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:00,960 Speaker 3: You deserve that. 85 00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:02,280 Speaker 1: You deserve this. 86 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:04,240 Speaker 3: You deserve nothing, No, you deserve this. 87 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:04,760 Speaker 1: I'm sorry. 88 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:07,800 Speaker 2: Daniel left our house looking defeated, and in the same day, 89 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:10,240 Speaker 2: I received a call from Camilla accusing me of being 90 00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:11,800 Speaker 2: a revengeful bee. 91 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:14,240 Speaker 1: She said I was trying to destroy her lie. 92 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:16,440 Speaker 2: I don't think I was wrong for telling the truth, 93 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:18,840 Speaker 2: but this happened last year, and I received calls and 94 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:21,520 Speaker 2: random messages from people close to Camilla saying I'm an 95 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:24,479 Speaker 2: a Hole for exposing Camilla's pass to her husband. Am 96 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:27,640 Speaker 2: I the a hole news slash Camilla, your husband was 97 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:29,000 Speaker 2: already on to you. 98 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:32,479 Speaker 3: Hey, what goes around comes around, Yeah, and Camilla is 99 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:34,200 Speaker 3: what goes around and comes around. 100 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:39,080 Speaker 2: Still not taking responsibilities for our actions, I see, Camilla. 101 00:04:38,839 --> 00:04:41,279 Speaker 3: Ah you know it would have been all the better 102 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:43,560 Speaker 3: if you had just told the truth and not put 103 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:45,400 Speaker 3: op under the bus under the rug. 104 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:48,360 Speaker 2: Part of me can understand not telling saying that you 105 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:53,240 Speaker 2: basically destroyed someone's marriage on your first date, because regardless 106 00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:55,640 Speaker 2: of people's past misdeeds, sometimes we all have to give 107 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:57,000 Speaker 2: them the benefit of the doubt that they can change 108 00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:57,400 Speaker 2: for the better. 109 00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:59,520 Speaker 1: But this person is clearly not doing that. This person 110 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:00,520 Speaker 1: is clearly no. 111 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:03,520 Speaker 2: Doing that anyway. Here's some relevant comments. Commenter number one, 112 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,200 Speaker 2: not the Ahole. You told the truth after she told lies? 113 00:05:06,279 --> 00:05:07,960 Speaker 2: Did she expect you to go along with what she 114 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:09,800 Speaker 2: said so you could be the bad guy for as 115 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:12,400 Speaker 2: long as your husband and Daniel are workmates? Opie said, 116 00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:14,400 Speaker 2: I don't know what she was thinking. I have no 117 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,680 Speaker 2: reason to lie to cover her. Commenter two says, not 118 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:20,880 Speaker 2: the Ale. You're the hero of this story. Actions have consequences. 119 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:23,920 Speaker 2: You did nothing wrong and merely stated facts and truth 120 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,719 Speaker 2: about what happened between Camilla and your ex fiance. It 121 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:28,560 Speaker 2: would have been wrong for you to lie to Daniel, 122 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:30,400 Speaker 2: as he deserved to know the truth to make an 123 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:33,440 Speaker 2: informed end decision. If it were you, I'm sure you 124 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:36,039 Speaker 2: would have wanted the same consideration as I know. I 125 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:38,880 Speaker 2: definitely would have text Camilla sorry to hear about you 126 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:41,160 Speaker 2: and Daniel, but hey, maybe you and Carl can get 127 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:42,000 Speaker 2: something going again. 128 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:44,440 Speaker 1: That would actually be a great petty text message. You 129 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:45,640 Speaker 1: should do that, ohp he says. 130 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:48,400 Speaker 2: Funny thing is, after our engagement broke off, she did 131 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:50,560 Speaker 2: try to date Carl and he kicked her to the curter. 132 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:53,120 Speaker 2: I heard this from mutual Friends. Commentary three says the 133 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:56,000 Speaker 2: affair relationship never stands on its own legs once it 134 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,440 Speaker 2: comes to light. It's much easier exciting to be sneaking 135 00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:00,960 Speaker 2: around versus the grind of a normal adult relationship. That 136 00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 2: and Carl probably just wanted the physical part and nothing 137 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:05,560 Speaker 2: to do with her as a person. Op says, Yeah, 138 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:07,520 Speaker 2: I'm sure that Carl and her didn't have much to 139 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:10,120 Speaker 2: do after both of them stopped leeching off from their 140 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:12,840 Speaker 2: loving partners. Camilla's X was a great guy. And how 141 00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:15,000 Speaker 2: did Camilla get Ope's ce phone number? Op says from 142 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:17,480 Speaker 2: Daniel's phone, we have texted about setting up for the 143 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:18,440 Speaker 2: playdate for our kids. 144 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:20,719 Speaker 1: Henry gave him my number, coming or four says not 145 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:21,240 Speaker 1: the a hole. 146 00:06:21,279 --> 00:06:23,520 Speaker 2: You literally tried to help her by not revealing her secret, 147 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:25,839 Speaker 2: which is kinder than most people, because I know I 148 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:28,360 Speaker 2: would have told her the second I see her face 149 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,479 Speaker 2: in my house, you're not welcome here. But she had 150 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:32,680 Speaker 2: the chance to be honest with her husband multiple times 151 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:35,000 Speaker 2: on the first day, when he reveals his feelings about cheaters, 152 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:37,839 Speaker 2: when he first asks, and then afterwards, but she still 153 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:41,320 Speaker 2: kept lying, which means she hasn't grown or healed or improved. 154 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:43,560 Speaker 2: So who she is as a person since she was 155 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:47,640 Speaker 2: the mistress of your formal fiance, she's still that person. 156 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:50,200 Speaker 2: I just hope Daniel's doing okay. Ohp says I would 157 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:52,640 Speaker 2: never do a scene at my house, especially because deep down, 158 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:56,200 Speaker 2: I'm very relieved that I didn't marry Carl, So exactly 159 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:58,920 Speaker 2: what you said. Hey, you know what, I've been reading 160 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:01,120 Speaker 2: a book called The Alchemist, and I'll just say this, 161 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:05,279 Speaker 2: everything happens for a reason. I'm happy with Henry and 162 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:07,880 Speaker 2: our children. Cammy is just a memory from the past. 163 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,840 Speaker 2: Seeing her having marriage problems is not something I enjoy. 164 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:13,280 Speaker 2: Up date, blah blah blah. First, this is not a 165 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:15,280 Speaker 2: fake story. The only thing that's fake are the names. 166 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:18,400 Speaker 2: I am not AI. Second, I don't think cheaters must 167 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:19,640 Speaker 2: be punished forever. 168 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:22,920 Speaker 3: I'm sorry, that's something a I would say, Yeah, sure, 169 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:24,880 Speaker 3: I'm not AI, but that's illegal. 170 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:26,520 Speaker 1: They're not allowed to say that. They're not allowed to 171 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:27,080 Speaker 1: be deceptive. 172 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,000 Speaker 3: Okay, sorry, go back to reading oh Day. 173 00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:31,200 Speaker 2: First, this is not a fake story. The only thing 174 00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:33,560 Speaker 2: that's faked are the names. I am also not an 175 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:37,800 Speaker 2: artificial intelligence. Second, I don't think cheaters must be punished forever, 176 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:40,080 Speaker 2: which might be a hot take, but I agree with 177 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:41,360 Speaker 2: that in most cases. 178 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:44,120 Speaker 3: People learn people if they maybe make mistakes, and people 179 00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:45,560 Speaker 3: can learn as long as they. 180 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:47,080 Speaker 1: I think the keyword is punished forever. 181 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:48,920 Speaker 2: It's like I don't think that you should ever have 182 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,120 Speaker 2: the right or like where it's like, all right, enough 183 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:52,520 Speaker 2: time has passed, Now you can come back. It's like 184 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:54,800 Speaker 2: that's always going to be up to the person's was betrayed. 185 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:56,840 Speaker 2: It's going to be their decision. But they don't need 186 00:07:56,920 --> 00:08:00,720 Speaker 2: to be pennant like very seldomly. What I say, a 187 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:05,200 Speaker 2: lifetime of penance is what is owed for infidelity. 188 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:07,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, that makes most of the time you work 189 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:08,560 Speaker 3: on yourself be better. 190 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:10,960 Speaker 2: While I would probably never want to be close friends 191 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:13,160 Speaker 2: with Camilla after the initial shock, I would have no 192 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:15,880 Speaker 2: issues being civil with her. I don't think she deserves 193 00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:18,800 Speaker 2: to live through a never ending heck because she was 194 00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:21,080 Speaker 2: awful years ago. I also don't think that she was 195 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:24,040 Speaker 2: the worst person. Carl definitely was. He was the one 196 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,560 Speaker 2: who was about to marry me, but she was also 197 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,680 Speaker 2: a willing part of the affair, and she knew me 198 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:31,680 Speaker 2: from their office. Also, everybody there knew Karl was living 199 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,719 Speaker 2: with me and that we were engaged. Camilla got my 200 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:36,520 Speaker 2: number from Daniel's phone. I have a pretty uncommon last name, 201 00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:38,679 Speaker 2: and my name is not popular either. Daniel got my 202 00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:41,120 Speaker 2: number from me. Henry gave me his contact to set 203 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:43,400 Speaker 2: up a dinner date to introduce our families. I texted 204 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:45,840 Speaker 2: him we have already met sometimes on the office and 205 00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:48,000 Speaker 2: at my house when he came by with Henry. Daniel 206 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:50,080 Speaker 2: texted me back about setting up our plans for the 207 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:50,840 Speaker 2: kid's playdate. 208 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:51,559 Speaker 1: And that's that. 209 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:53,880 Speaker 2: My husband didn't give Camilla my number at the time 210 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:56,679 Speaker 2: this all happened. My husband had seen her just once 211 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:58,880 Speaker 2: while at the office with Daniel. The fact that Camilla 212 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:01,559 Speaker 2: had access to her husban's phone is not weird to me. 213 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:02,679 Speaker 1: Her actions were, so. 214 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,079 Speaker 2: I guess that was pretext. Here's the actual update. Daniel 215 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:08,080 Speaker 2: and Camilla are not divorced. After leaving our house, Daniel 216 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:09,960 Speaker 2: stayed at a hotel for a while, then he got 217 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:12,400 Speaker 2: back to his house and they started doing couples therapy. 218 00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:15,280 Speaker 2: The harassment through calls and texts lasted over a month. 219 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:17,480 Speaker 2: Henry was about to send a cease and desist when 220 00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:19,800 Speaker 2: he decided to talk to Daniel about this, and Daniel 221 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:21,880 Speaker 2: handled it. What I know through Henry is that most 222 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:24,920 Speaker 2: of Camilla's flying monkeys didn't know the full story, and 223 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:27,720 Speaker 2: when Daniel said things straight, they stopped. Camilla emailed me 224 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:31,440 Speaker 2: months after apologizing. I accepted her apology, but we are 225 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:34,040 Speaker 2: not close and I don't feel like her words were genuine. 226 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:36,560 Speaker 2: Most likely she just wants to save her marriage. I 227 00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:39,080 Speaker 2: think your instincts are right on the money there, Opie 228 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:42,120 Speaker 2: easy talking about their marriage. Daniel and I talked some 229 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,360 Speaker 2: months after this at a party in my house and 230 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:46,560 Speaker 2: I told him that I feel terrible for my part 231 00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:49,520 Speaker 2: in their marital problems, and he reassured me. Daniel said 232 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:51,840 Speaker 2: that they were already having issues before we met, and 233 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:54,160 Speaker 2: it seems like she wasn't happy about moving here and 234 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:56,800 Speaker 2: leaving her family on the other side of the country. Also, 235 00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:59,560 Speaker 2: they were having money problems because their old state had 236 00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:02,000 Speaker 2: a higher cost of living. Since Camilla left work after 237 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:04,200 Speaker 2: she got pregnant with their second child, they had less 238 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:06,920 Speaker 2: money and cutting costs on their lifestyle was making them fight. 239 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,439 Speaker 2: The move to our state made sense because it was 240 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,840 Speaker 2: a better position with a good raise. And you know, 241 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:14,480 Speaker 2: what's a great position to be in no matter what 242 00:10:14,679 --> 00:10:15,560 Speaker 2: situation you're in? 243 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:18,640 Speaker 1: What's that being in our live streams? 244 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:21,400 Speaker 2: Oh, when we go live every weekday at three pm 245 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:24,840 Speaker 2: PST on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, and Twitch. All you have 246 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:28,280 Speaker 2: to do is tap bar profile and you're in. But 247 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:30,559 Speaker 2: before you go, check if we're live right now, which 248 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:33,760 Speaker 2: we might be. Let's finish our story here. 249 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,360 Speaker 1: We do have a little bit left. I think. You know, 250 00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:38,120 Speaker 1: Op's kind of got the. 251 00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:43,400 Speaker 2: Zen Buddhist sort of style, the moving through a situation 252 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:43,640 Speaker 2: like this. 253 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:46,640 Speaker 3: Oh, He's not holding onto any grudges. Op's just like, hey, 254 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:49,400 Speaker 3: that's your problem, that's your issue. I don't want to 255 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:51,679 Speaker 3: be a problem in anyone's life. She's let me live 256 00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:54,199 Speaker 3: my life. That's all Opie wants to do. And she's like, 257 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:55,480 Speaker 3: I don't care. That's great. 258 00:10:55,559 --> 00:10:59,440 Speaker 2: It's being unbothered by other people's like petty nonsense is 259 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:02,400 Speaker 2: a fantastic way to move through life. Yeah, and I 260 00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:04,600 Speaker 2: do think it's funny that you were the way you 261 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:06,400 Speaker 2: brought up, Like, wow, she might be like, if it 262 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,720 Speaker 2: wasn't for me, you would have ever met Henry, And 263 00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:12,680 Speaker 2: before she she never even said that. OPI was like, honestly, like, 264 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:15,680 Speaker 2: I'm glad you kind of did that because Carl sucked. Yeah, 265 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:18,040 Speaker 2: and now I'm with Henry, who's way better than the best. 266 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:21,960 Speaker 2: So yeah, it's kind of you know, I think I 267 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,920 Speaker 2: think it's a great way to move because it also 268 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:28,560 Speaker 2: like minimizes the mess and any of the collateral damage. 269 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:30,600 Speaker 2: Like you're just like, look, I could either be mad 270 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:32,679 Speaker 2: at you and be feisty and be petty, and it 271 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:36,960 Speaker 2: made things even more awkward and difficult, just put more 272 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:38,960 Speaker 2: negative of energy into my life. 273 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:42,840 Speaker 3: And Opie's like, yeah, Opie's Ope, he's the type of woman. 274 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:44,600 Speaker 3: You're like, Nah, I think I'm gonna do my own thing. 275 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:47,160 Speaker 2: All right, Well, let's swing into the rest of this story, 276 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:51,640 Speaker 2: Spider Man. I don't know much else about their situation, 277 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,520 Speaker 2: just that recently, Henry told me Daniel was depressed after 278 00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:56,960 Speaker 2: a big fight they had about Thanksgiving. Camilla wanted to 279 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,240 Speaker 2: travel to their old state to stay with her family, 280 00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:01,760 Speaker 2: and Daniel wanted to visit his mother, who lives closer. 281 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:04,280 Speaker 2: Everybody in the office knows about their fight, since Daniel 282 00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:06,960 Speaker 2: asked to say at a coworker's place. Daniel told Henry 283 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:10,439 Speaker 2: directly that he would start divorce proceedings because on their 284 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:13,280 Speaker 2: last fight, Camilla was talking about taking the kids and 285 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:15,160 Speaker 2: moving back closer to her parents. 286 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:15,720 Speaker 3: Mmmm. 287 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:19,200 Speaker 1: Well, I love it when using the kids as a 288 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:19,920 Speaker 1: bargaining chick. 289 00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:24,680 Speaker 2: I love when using the kids as a bargaining chip 290 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:26,640 Speaker 2: tool like blows up in your face. 291 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:30,160 Speaker 3: Using the kids as like a divorce weapon is terrible. 292 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:33,079 Speaker 2: Yeah, he said that she will not have full custody 293 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:35,120 Speaker 2: of his kids, and that's basically all I know. And 294 00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:37,079 Speaker 2: I don't really know if Daniel will go through with 295 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:39,400 Speaker 2: the divorce, but we do have some relevant comments here. 296 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:41,600 Speaker 2: While that took a turn, but I'm glad you're doing better. 297 00:12:41,679 --> 00:12:44,000 Speaker 2: I did a spiteag at the Flying Monkey's comment as 298 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:45,720 Speaker 2: I was reading, which, yeah, that was a pretty funny 299 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:47,880 Speaker 2: way to say that. Thankfully I was drinking water at 300 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:50,040 Speaker 2: the time, or that would have ended poorly. Milla, sounds 301 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:51,679 Speaker 2: like a trip. I'd normally comment, but I'm going to 302 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:56,680 Speaker 2: pass this time. Did you not make this comment? 303 00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:00,160 Speaker 3: If I can make a comment, makes a full on comment. 304 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,440 Speaker 2: But yeah, anyway, hope you're doing well and in a 305 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:04,880 Speaker 2: good space. Taking the kids moving back closer to her 306 00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:07,079 Speaker 2: parents and the fights about their finances are not exactly 307 00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:09,360 Speaker 2: the best signs for their family either. Oh, he says, Yeah, 308 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:11,080 Speaker 2: I came to the conclusion that they are having much 309 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:14,160 Speaker 2: bigger issues than in our previous posts, and we do 310 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,240 Speaker 2: have just some more stuff basically. 311 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:19,040 Speaker 3: Just supporting a p Yeah, but that sucks. Yeah, essentially that. 312 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:20,600 Speaker 1: Is the end of our story. 313 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:25,439 Speaker 2: My friend admitted his affair to me. 314 00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:28,040 Speaker 1: I don't know how to tell his wife. 315 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:31,959 Speaker 3: You tell her, You just tell her, you say hi, Hi, 316 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:32,679 Speaker 3: friend's wife. 317 00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:36,160 Speaker 2: Sit down, you're gonna want to I gotta tell you something, hi, 318 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:38,480 Speaker 2: redd it. This has been weighing on my conscience for 319 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:41,040 Speaker 2: over a year now, and I'm honestly not sure how 320 00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:43,679 Speaker 2: to handle it. I thirty eight female, met my friend 321 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:46,440 Speaker 2: Dave forty two male, about four years ago in an 322 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:49,439 Speaker 2: online gaming for him. During the entire time we talked, 323 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:52,480 Speaker 2: I became friends with his wife, Brenda forty three female, 324 00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:56,040 Speaker 2: and he became friends with my fiance mckel thirty eight male. 325 00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,400 Speaker 2: I live by the rule in a relationship that if 326 00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:00,840 Speaker 2: there is a conversation that I wouldn't feel comfortable showing 327 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:03,080 Speaker 2: my significant other, then I don't need to be having 328 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:03,880 Speaker 2: that conversation. 329 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:04,480 Speaker 3: I like that. 330 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,000 Speaker 1: At no point did. 331 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:08,199 Speaker 2: Dave ever bross a line with me, nor was there 332 00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:09,800 Speaker 2: ever inappropriate conversation. 333 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:11,200 Speaker 1: This is important, by the way. 334 00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:13,960 Speaker 2: This comes from user ethical conundrum on the r slash 335 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:17,520 Speaker 2: okay storytime subreddit. So about a year and a half ago, 336 00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:20,560 Speaker 2: in the summertime, Michel got a big promotion and we 337 00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:23,760 Speaker 2: hosted a fun weekend long celebration at our home. We 338 00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:27,080 Speaker 2: invited Dave and Brenda, who live five hours from us, 339 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:29,040 Speaker 2: and this was the first time we had actually met 340 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:31,880 Speaker 2: them in person. I instantly connected with Brenda, as she 341 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,440 Speaker 2: was so authentic and sweet. We all got along well 342 00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:37,200 Speaker 2: and even started talking about doing future get together as 343 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:37,720 Speaker 2: in vacation. 344 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:38,880 Speaker 1: It seemed perfect. 345 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,840 Speaker 2: At this time, my company was doing major layoffs and 346 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:44,160 Speaker 2: I was looking for a new career. Brenda had worked 347 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,880 Speaker 2: at a remote company for over a decade and recommended 348 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:50,080 Speaker 2: I apply. After a few intense interviews, I was hired 349 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:52,520 Speaker 2: quick side note Dave had been injured in work related 350 00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:55,440 Speaker 2: accidents that had gone to court. He sued and he won. 351 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:58,280 Speaker 2: He was permanently disabled because of the accident and can 352 00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:01,040 Speaker 2: no longer work at his profession. That along with a 353 00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:04,520 Speaker 2: large life insurance policy from his parents, he's financially set 354 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:08,120 Speaker 2: for life. He stays home and raises their daughter, Leah, five, 355 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,560 Speaker 2: while Brenda does her remote work from the house as well. 356 00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:13,520 Speaker 2: So a little over a year ago, during the fall, 357 00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:16,560 Speaker 2: a few months after the celebration weekend, Dave and Brenda 358 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:17,480 Speaker 2: were getting ready. 359 00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:18,960 Speaker 1: To take their daughter Leah on vacation. 360 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:21,320 Speaker 2: Before they left for the airport, Dave said he needed 361 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:23,000 Speaker 2: to talk to me and it was urgent, so I 362 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:25,240 Speaker 2: stepped away to take the call. Dave then told me 363 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:27,680 Speaker 2: he had literally nobody else to talk to about this 364 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,080 Speaker 2: and was deeply depressed and needed to confide in me 365 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:31,000 Speaker 2: as a friend. 366 00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:33,160 Speaker 1: I really wish we hadn't. 367 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:36,080 Speaker 2: He told me that the night before he'd gotten into 368 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:39,800 Speaker 2: a huge fight with who he calls his best friend, Rachel, 369 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,480 Speaker 2: forty one female. I had heard about Rachel, but never 370 00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:44,320 Speaker 2: met her and didn't know too much about her, to 371 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:46,800 Speaker 2: be honest. What I did know was that Dave, Brenda, 372 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:50,160 Speaker 2: and Rachel had been friends in college, approximately twenty years 373 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,640 Speaker 2: of a friendship, and she had visited at Dave and 374 00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:56,040 Speaker 2: Brenda's house several times over the years. Rachel had allegedly 375 00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:58,800 Speaker 2: been in a string of bad relationships, one of which 376 00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:02,000 Speaker 2: Dave had to bail her out of financially a few times. 377 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:02,880 Speaker 1: That was about it. 378 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:05,400 Speaker 2: Here comes the information I wish Dave hadn't told me, 379 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:08,560 Speaker 2: as it completely changed how I view him. Dave told 380 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:11,400 Speaker 2: me Rachel confessed to him the night before that she 381 00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:14,600 Speaker 2: knew he was attracted to her. Yes, she is gorgeous. 382 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:17,200 Speaker 2: Dave said he has always been attracted to her physically, 383 00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:21,240 Speaker 2: but mentally her personality, specifically her shallowness, was a huge 384 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:24,040 Speaker 2: turn off for him. Some unkind things were said about 385 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:28,160 Speaker 2: Brenda letting herself go since having Leah, which disgusted me. 386 00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:31,160 Speaker 2: He then said, Rachel confessed that she's frustrated with her 387 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:34,240 Speaker 2: never ending chain of bad relationships and wants to finally 388 00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:37,000 Speaker 2: settle down. She knows he's wealthy and can give her 389 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:39,640 Speaker 2: the life she feels she deserves. She wants him to 390 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:42,720 Speaker 2: leave Brenda and Leah moved to Rachel's city, by her 391 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:45,960 Speaker 2: a large house, and let her be his trophy wife. 392 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:49,000 Speaker 2: I choked back a laugh at this because I literally 393 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,080 Speaker 2: thought it was a joke. 394 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:53,680 Speaker 1: Seriously, Yeah, yo, I wouldn't have been. 395 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:58,680 Speaker 3: She's literally saying, just like you're rich, I want that. 396 00:16:58,680 --> 00:16:59,400 Speaker 3: That's it. Wow. 397 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,920 Speaker 2: Hey, Dave, remember how you said you don't like that 398 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:06,080 Speaker 2: she's shallow. Well, she's being really really shallow right now. 399 00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:08,840 Speaker 3: That's the most shallow thing you can say, none, the 400 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:10,840 Speaker 3: most shallow thing, but that's really shallow. 401 00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:14,119 Speaker 2: I hope your response is appropriate, Dave. 402 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:16,600 Speaker 3: I'm gonna tell you right now, it's probably not. 403 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:16,879 Speaker 1: So. 404 00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:21,520 Speaker 2: She admits to not being physically attracted to him, like, okay, 405 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:24,400 Speaker 2: who says that, but she knows she can satisfy him 406 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,879 Speaker 2: and he can give her the lifestyle she deserves. She 407 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:29,600 Speaker 2: just demands that he has to completely cut off the 408 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:32,520 Speaker 2: life he has now, including all friends and family, and 409 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:33,120 Speaker 2: be with her. 410 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:35,239 Speaker 1: Yeah, so don't do that, hey, Hey, so don't do that. 411 00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:38,440 Speaker 3: She's literally telling you that I'm the worst person ever, 412 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:39,680 Speaker 3: But just give me all your money. 413 00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:41,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, Do you want to spend the rest of your 414 00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:42,879 Speaker 2: life with me, someone who's not attracted to you and 415 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:45,520 Speaker 2: also literally just wants you for your money? Dan javed like, 416 00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:47,720 Speaker 2: I see this as a windness. This is the stupid test, Dave. 417 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:49,480 Speaker 2: Are you going to pass or are you going to tell? 418 00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:50,600 Speaker 1: Okay? 419 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:51,640 Speaker 3: He test the past. 420 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:52,840 Speaker 1: What is worse. 421 00:17:53,119 --> 00:17:56,919 Speaker 2: Rachel has been planning this for literally years, sitting in 422 00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:59,960 Speaker 2: their home, eating their food, drinking their wine, holding their dog, 423 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:03,960 Speaker 2: laughing with Brenda, all while planning this. I was floored. 424 00:18:04,119 --> 00:18:06,560 Speaker 2: I asked what Brenda thought of all this. He said 425 00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:09,480 Speaker 2: he didn't tell her. I asked him how Rachel took 426 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:10,879 Speaker 2: it when he told her to f off. 427 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:12,240 Speaker 1: He said he didn't. 428 00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:14,479 Speaker 2: He doesn't want to lose her as a friend, and 429 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:17,760 Speaker 2: he even considered her proposition. I felt sick. I told 430 00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:20,480 Speaker 2: him I was shocked, and to me, even if he 431 00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:22,440 Speaker 2: decides not to take Rachel up on it, this is 432 00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:25,720 Speaker 2: a betrayal to Brenda. Dave explained that while his and 433 00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:29,640 Speaker 2: my conversations consisted of gaming, stupid memes and planning potential 434 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:33,520 Speaker 2: couples vacations. His conversations with Rachel were emotional and we're 435 00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:36,200 Speaker 2: all they spoke for hours on end every single day 436 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:38,760 Speaker 2: while he was caring for Leah and while Brenda was 437 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:42,600 Speaker 2: working in the next room. Okay, you stop. First of all, 438 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:45,560 Speaker 2: is I'm just gonna ask you, Keyan, Is Rachel just 439 00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:48,960 Speaker 2: stringing him along emotionally so that she'll have a like 440 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:50,920 Speaker 2: trophy husband made out of money? 441 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:54,560 Speaker 3: I have dumbfounded right now. I'm sorry, how dumb can 442 00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:57,600 Speaker 3: you be? This guy's This guy's an idiot on both 443 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:01,080 Speaker 3: ends of him and Rachel. Rachel's like, I see this, 444 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:03,760 Speaker 3: this is to go in my way, in my fav Rachel's. 445 00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:05,840 Speaker 2: A genius because she found she found the stupidest rich 446 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:06,520 Speaker 2: guy on earth. 447 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:09,760 Speaker 3: Apparently she really is like, leave everything you love and 448 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:11,600 Speaker 3: have right now and you'll have me. 449 00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:14,800 Speaker 1: For him to even consider it is like I would be. 450 00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:18,320 Speaker 3: I'm do for him to even consider her as a friend. Now, 451 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:21,120 Speaker 3: I was like a friend. A friend would never say 452 00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:23,280 Speaker 3: that to anybody. Hey, I love you for your money. 453 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:25,439 Speaker 3: That's it money please, that's crazy money. Please. 454 00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:27,960 Speaker 2: So he asked my opinion, and I told him that 455 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:32,240 Speaker 2: he has two options. Either leave Brenda or completely break 456 00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:35,040 Speaker 2: off all contact with Rachel and focus on his marriage. 457 00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:37,919 Speaker 2: But since he asked, in my opinion, Brenda needed to know, 458 00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:41,280 Speaker 2: especially since she considered Rachel a friend, and knowing that 459 00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:44,800 Speaker 2: Rachel wants to screw over Brenda and Leah seriously typing 460 00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:47,399 Speaker 2: this disgusts me. After the call ANDed, I told Michael 461 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:49,359 Speaker 2: about it. He was as shocked as I was, but 462 00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:51,400 Speaker 2: asked what I was going to do. I just sat 463 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:54,639 Speaker 2: there trying to digest what I had heard. Dave, Brenda, 464 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:56,879 Speaker 2: and Leo went on their vacation during this time, we 465 00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:59,280 Speaker 2: didn't communicate. When he got back, he told me that 466 00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:03,919 Speaker 2: he had cut Rachel, but refused to tell Brenda about it. Okay, fine, whatever. 467 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:06,120 Speaker 2: I don't agree with his action to not tell her, 468 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:09,040 Speaker 2: but it's not my life, not my relationship. I actually 469 00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:09,879 Speaker 2: fully agree with that. 470 00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:11,000 Speaker 3: Well, my monkey's not my circuit. 471 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:13,159 Speaker 1: I fully agree with that. He asked for advice, and 472 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:13,679 Speaker 1: I gave it. 473 00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:15,879 Speaker 2: I told him that in my eyes, he had betrayed 474 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:18,400 Speaker 2: his wife, whether physically or not, and I still felt 475 00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:22,120 Speaker 2: that Brenda deserve to know, which is true. Almost immediately, 476 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:24,520 Speaker 2: I felt myself pulling away from Dave, my image of 477 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:27,880 Speaker 2: him was damaged. When I interact with Brenda online for work. 478 00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:31,800 Speaker 2: I'm professional and friendly, but it's painful keeping this secret. However, 479 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:34,399 Speaker 2: as time passed, I began to think that perhaps this 480 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:36,720 Speaker 2: was over. Dave had just made a stupid mistake and 481 00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:39,760 Speaker 2: was just thinking about what could be. He didn't actually 482 00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:43,160 Speaker 2: leave her right, and more importantly, he cut Rachel out. 483 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:45,479 Speaker 2: Dave and I began talking a bit more. I actually 484 00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:47,800 Speaker 2: thought maybe things could go back to the way they 485 00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:50,960 Speaker 2: were since there was no actual physical cheating. Maybe it's 486 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,640 Speaker 2: best that Brenda doesn't know for her own mental health 487 00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:56,400 Speaker 2: and happiness. Maybe we can move past this. So many 488 00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:59,600 Speaker 2: thoughts going through my mind, so many ways of rationalizing this. 489 00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:03,000 Speaker 2: The men till gymnastics were Olympic level impressive. Then about 490 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,560 Speaker 2: a month ago, he drops the bombshell. He tells me 491 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:08,320 Speaker 2: that Rachel and he are talking again. 492 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,159 Speaker 3: Guy's the biggest dummy in the world. 493 00:21:10,359 --> 00:21:12,800 Speaker 2: This is when you now tell the wife. Now now 494 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,280 Speaker 2: it's almost it's an obligation at this point, either you 495 00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:17,480 Speaker 2: tell her or I tell her. If you really are 496 00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:19,720 Speaker 2: that close to these people, like you know, there is 497 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:22,080 Speaker 2: something to be said about, like not meddling in other 498 00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:23,760 Speaker 2: people's business, even if you feel. 499 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,040 Speaker 1: But if you're close. 500 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:27,120 Speaker 2: With them, and you have a relationship with Brenda even 501 00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:29,199 Speaker 2: in a work capacity as well, it's like this is 502 00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:31,560 Speaker 2: going to start impacting your life outside of this. 503 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:33,520 Speaker 3: Conversation already impacting Opie as is. 504 00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:38,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's it's time, she allegedly. Rachel allegedly begged 505 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:41,440 Speaker 2: him for forgiveness and cried that she's going through another 506 00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:44,919 Speaker 2: horrible braankap and she needs change, friendship or else. She 507 00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:48,640 Speaker 2: doesn't know what she might do. Weaponizing this person is terrible. 508 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:51,000 Speaker 2: He said, He's going to keep her at arm's leg, 509 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:54,320 Speaker 2: but she needs him. He will just be there for 510 00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:56,520 Speaker 2: her a little bit, but it won't be like it 511 00:21:56,600 --> 00:22:00,280 Speaker 2: was before. Oh holy night to my shit, you're in 512 00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:03,000 Speaker 2: love that word. As the week's pass, he begins to 513 00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:05,280 Speaker 2: mention her more and more. I tell him I don't 514 00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,520 Speaker 2: want to hear about her, and when he keeps going, 515 00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:09,800 Speaker 2: I finally snap and tell him not to mention her 516 00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:12,240 Speaker 2: to me at all. Also really quick to I almost 517 00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:16,040 Speaker 2: didn't address this. Rachel doesn't need to only lean on him. 518 00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:18,600 Speaker 2: Rachel can have other people in her life besides the 519 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:21,760 Speaker 2: married man with a child who she expressed she wanted 520 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:23,359 Speaker 2: to run away with But do. 521 00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:26,080 Speaker 3: You realize how she doesn't want to do that? 522 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:28,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I realized that they might be perfect for 523 00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:31,080 Speaker 2: each other because they're clearly both scumbags. 524 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:31,880 Speaker 1: That's what I'll say. 525 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:34,439 Speaker 2: Rachel is the worst person. There's no way Dave is 526 00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:37,199 Speaker 2: this stupid. Dave knows what he's doing. He's not this stupid. 527 00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:39,320 Speaker 2: He knows what he's doing, and he still wants to 528 00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:40,879 Speaker 2: do it. He just sounds like a big dumb So 529 00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:43,800 Speaker 2: let the two scumbags be two scumbags in a pod, 530 00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:46,280 Speaker 2: and I hope the wife gets more than half of 531 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,560 Speaker 2: his assets. So I tell him I don't want to 532 00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:52,160 Speaker 2: hear about her, and when he keeps going, I finally 533 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:54,480 Speaker 2: snap and tell him not to mention her to me 534 00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:56,800 Speaker 2: at all. I'm so pissed that he's talking to her 535 00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,359 Speaker 2: again and that he doesn't care about how me Knowing 536 00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:01,640 Speaker 2: this is put more guilt and strain. 537 00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:05,119 Speaker 1: In my mind, especially when I have to interact with 538 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:05,920 Speaker 1: his wife. 539 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:09,959 Speaker 2: It's completely unfair that he told me about his situationship 540 00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:12,840 Speaker 2: with Rachel, knowing that I consider Brenda a friend and 541 00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:14,800 Speaker 2: that we work together every day. 542 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:17,159 Speaker 1: I've begged him to tell Brenda about it. 543 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:19,800 Speaker 2: She has the right to decide if she wants to stay, 544 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:22,440 Speaker 2: and most of all, that he is actively still friends 545 00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:24,360 Speaker 2: with a woman who wishes to hurt and put hain 546 00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:25,960 Speaker 2: on his wife and a little girl. 547 00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:28,720 Speaker 1: How does this creature sleep at night? 548 00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:32,119 Speaker 2: Dave still talks about planning vacations together with Michael and I, 549 00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:34,480 Speaker 2: but I don't even respond. Honestly, I don't see how 550 00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:36,600 Speaker 2: I could sit at dinner with them and keep quiet, 551 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:39,160 Speaker 2: especially if Rachel were to get brought up in conversation, 552 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:41,320 Speaker 2: and especially if wine is involved. 553 00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:43,800 Speaker 1: And let's be honest, there will be why there will 554 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:44,200 Speaker 1: be one. 555 00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:46,359 Speaker 2: I have one of those faces that speaks my mind 556 00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:48,440 Speaker 2: without saying a word, which is why I do better 557 00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:52,120 Speaker 2: working remote versus client facing. I dread the day when 558 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,800 Speaker 2: and if either Dave or Brenda say that Rachel's coming 559 00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:56,760 Speaker 2: to visit them again. I can pretend it won't happen, 560 00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:59,440 Speaker 2: but let's be honest, Dave's a complete moron who managed 561 00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:02,399 Speaker 2: to somehow I'll miraculously prevent his marriage from going up 562 00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,360 Speaker 2: in flames, only to soak himself. 563 00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:05,880 Speaker 1: In gasoline and open the door to the. 564 00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:10,359 Speaker 2: Walking, talking, gorgeous yet shallow lit match Reddit, Please help me. 565 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:12,199 Speaker 2: I want to cut him out completely. Because I'm so 566 00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:14,359 Speaker 2: disgusted by his actions. But I know Brenda will be 567 00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:16,800 Speaker 2: upset and drill me about it, especially since they've been 568 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:18,879 Speaker 2: planning a trip to Europe for next year and wanting 569 00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:21,080 Speaker 2: us to come. Should I just tell her that we 570 00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:23,040 Speaker 2: had a falling out? Should I find a way to 571 00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:25,760 Speaker 2: hint Brenda not to trust Rachel. I didn't even want 572 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:27,679 Speaker 2: to know any of this, and I'm so pissed that 573 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,280 Speaker 2: he dumped this on me. We were friends, but not 574 00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:32,960 Speaker 2: that type of friend. As for Brenda, I would want 575 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:35,200 Speaker 2: to know if I were friends with and playing host 576 00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:37,240 Speaker 2: to a girl who wanted to steal my husband and 577 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:39,920 Speaker 2: the father of my child. But I'm also concerned about 578 00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:42,520 Speaker 2: my job and my livelihood. She's been with the company 579 00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:44,560 Speaker 2: over ten years and I've only been there a year. 580 00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:46,920 Speaker 2: I've kept this secret from her for so long. If 581 00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:49,280 Speaker 2: I say something, could it affect my employment? Should I 582 00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:51,560 Speaker 2: just pull away from them and, when asked, make some 583 00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:54,119 Speaker 2: lame excuse like I'm too busy and we do have 584 00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:54,760 Speaker 2: an update? 585 00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:58,919 Speaker 1: Let's just read this edit first? Well, how much do 586 00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:00,240 Speaker 1: we have left before? Okay? 587 00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:03,600 Speaker 2: Really quick, before we give let's not give our full thoughts. Okay, 588 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:06,560 Speaker 2: but I'm going to say that you should one hundred 589 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:07,560 Speaker 2: percent tell Brenda. 590 00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:08,440 Speaker 3: No, we're on the same boat. 591 00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:10,640 Speaker 2: And like, I don't think you need to worry about 592 00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:13,040 Speaker 2: your job. I think you just need to tell her 593 00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:15,720 Speaker 2: and explain. And I think if anything, she's gonna appreciate 594 00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:16,800 Speaker 2: you for it more than anything. 595 00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:18,399 Speaker 3: No, one hundred percent, I think if you tell her 596 00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:21,639 Speaker 3: flat out everything, Like, hey, he came to me about 597 00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:23,800 Speaker 3: this and I told him, don't do it, and I 598 00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:26,600 Speaker 3: thought they stopped. And here's the timeline again where he's 599 00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:29,879 Speaker 3: bringing it up. I'm like, I like, I gave him 600 00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:31,760 Speaker 3: the benefit of the doubt. No means no, I feel 601 00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:34,760 Speaker 3: bad for you. I feel bad all about this. Yep, 602 00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:37,280 Speaker 3: he is being a dumb dumb That's all you need 603 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:37,480 Speaker 3: to do. 604 00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:39,840 Speaker 1: It's very easy. You gotta let her know, you gotta 605 00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:40,480 Speaker 1: let her you have. 606 00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:43,400 Speaker 3: No flaws, Like, there's no like faults or flaws here 607 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:44,399 Speaker 3: in your your case. 608 00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:46,720 Speaker 2: So EDIT wanted to clarify a few things. When I 609 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:48,960 Speaker 2: say friend, I mean we're more than mere acquaintances. But 610 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:51,080 Speaker 2: it's not like we're besties. I've always been closer to 611 00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,240 Speaker 2: Dave than Brenda strictly because he's the one who I 612 00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:56,040 Speaker 2: game with. However, Dave and I never had deep conversations 613 00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:58,840 Speaker 2: before he unloaded this secret on me. We talked about 614 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:01,080 Speaker 2: Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter going to festivals 615 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:03,760 Speaker 2: and eventually us joining them on vacations, which we haven't done, 616 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:05,640 Speaker 2: but money was too tight for us to join them 617 00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:09,440 Speaker 2: before Michel's promotion and before I was given this job opportunity, so. 618 00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:10,879 Speaker 1: Vacations were something for the future. 619 00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:13,240 Speaker 2: You've only ever met once in person for the promotion 620 00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:16,120 Speaker 2: weekend last summer, but have continuously made plans to visit 621 00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:17,800 Speaker 2: or meet up in the city. Due to funds and 622 00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:20,960 Speaker 2: other hiccups, the plans always fell through. Our friendship was 623 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:22,760 Speaker 2: something that we had built to get away from the 624 00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:25,240 Speaker 2: stress of life, lighthearted and meant to be fun. As 625 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:27,600 Speaker 2: for Brenda, she recommended me for the position at her 626 00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:30,160 Speaker 2: work because I had to earn the position. She isn't 627 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:33,200 Speaker 2: my boss, but she definitely has seniority. Before the conversation 628 00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:35,200 Speaker 2: with Dave, I had high hopes for Brenda and I 629 00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:37,560 Speaker 2: becoming closer and all of us being good friends down 630 00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:40,320 Speaker 2: the road. Unfortunately, since this happened last year, I've kept 631 00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:43,879 Speaker 2: my distance and didn't nurture my relationship with Brenda. But 632 00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:47,520 Speaker 2: you can nurture your relationship with us every weekday at 633 00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:51,800 Speaker 2: three PMPST where we're go live on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, 634 00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:54,440 Speaker 2: and Twitch. All you gotta do is tap our profile 635 00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:55,240 Speaker 2: and you're in. 636 00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:58,960 Speaker 3: Hey, we might even be live right now. But before 637 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:01,359 Speaker 3: you go check that out, there's a little bit left 638 00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:04,119 Speaker 3: to the story and we really want to make sure 639 00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:08,520 Speaker 3: that Brenda does find out. Yeah, I mean, what's your 640 00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:10,080 Speaker 3: what's your final takeaway here? 641 00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:12,600 Speaker 2: Like it's just gotten to the it's past the point 642 00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:14,879 Speaker 2: of no return where it's like it'd be different if 643 00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:17,119 Speaker 2: you could like step away from this. And it's just 644 00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:19,640 Speaker 2: in the context of like you sometimes play video games 645 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:19,920 Speaker 2: with this. 646 00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:21,600 Speaker 1: Person, but you literally work with his wife. 647 00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:24,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, So now the guilt and like the it just 648 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:27,919 Speaker 2: keeps despair snowball, and it's and he's put it on 649 00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:30,200 Speaker 2: your shoulders, and it's like at the end of the day, 650 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:32,960 Speaker 2: it's it's it's his fault that this would be happening 651 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:34,520 Speaker 2: because he's the one talking to Rachel. 652 00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:36,439 Speaker 1: You're not the bad guy here, it's. 653 00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:39,359 Speaker 3: Him, no, Yeah, and and he he he threw it 654 00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:40,960 Speaker 3: at you without. 655 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:43,680 Speaker 2: You even know if your husband was doing this or 656 00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:46,480 Speaker 2: your partner was doing this, would you want someone to 657 00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:46,880 Speaker 2: tell you? 658 00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:47,920 Speaker 3: I said yes. 659 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:51,119 Speaker 2: I think that's all that answers the question all by 660 00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:55,879 Speaker 2: itself right there, So I have no roof. Oh, the 661 00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:58,320 Speaker 2: conversation where he told me everything was over the phone 662 00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:00,960 Speaker 2: and I didn't record it. Plus I managed two party states, 663 00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:03,120 Speaker 2: so I think I could get in trouble for that. 664 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:06,399 Speaker 2: If I tell Brenda, it would be my word against his, 665 00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:09,320 Speaker 2: and if she goes to him, he could deny everything 666 00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:11,600 Speaker 2: or even try to spin it against me. 667 00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:14,480 Speaker 1: And this is where I worry. It could affect my job. 668 00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:16,720 Speaker 1: My job is my biggest concern at this point. 669 00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:18,720 Speaker 2: I do not want to lose my job. I don't 670 00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:20,960 Speaker 2: want my job to become awkward. I would love to 671 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,120 Speaker 2: be able to give Brenda heads up about the situation, 672 00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,679 Speaker 2: but also I can't afford to lose my job. I 673 00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:27,840 Speaker 2: cannot stress this enough. If I knew I could warn 674 00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:30,680 Speaker 2: her without harming my own situation, I would may sound 675 00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:32,280 Speaker 2: like my mind is made up, but it's not. I 676 00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:34,959 Speaker 2: just wanted to add those for clarification and hopes that 677 00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:36,359 Speaker 2: there's something that can be done. 678 00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:37,680 Speaker 1: And that's the end of that story. 679 00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:40,280 Speaker 3: I mean, you have your husband too. Your husband was 680 00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:41,600 Speaker 3: there when you told him about it. 681 00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:44,280 Speaker 2: Like I said, if they do end up firing you 682 00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:47,760 Speaker 2: because you brought this up, I'm ninety nine percent sure 683 00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:50,920 Speaker 2: you would win a wrongful termination lawsuit, especially like in 684 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,800 Speaker 2: a think about that legal argument. You're like, do you 685 00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:58,400 Speaker 2: think so my client has been punished for bringing infidelity 686 00:28:58,440 --> 00:28:58,800 Speaker 2: to light? 687 00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:00,000 Speaker 1: I'm sorry I was gonna. 688 00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:02,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, no's that's I think you're fine with the job. 689 00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:06,680 Speaker 3: It's the proof thing, Like, who who's Brenda gonna. 690 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:10,080 Speaker 1: Because he hasn't technically done anything yet and nothing's been 691 00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:11,720 Speaker 1: her knowledge or evident. 692 00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:15,040 Speaker 3: Do you do you think just blatantly's throwing one an 693 00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:17,840 Speaker 3: anonymous tip like Rachel, Well, I mean the only person 694 00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:18,520 Speaker 3: who knows Rachel. 695 00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:19,440 Speaker 1: No, this is what I say. 696 00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:22,480 Speaker 2: I say you you go to Brenda and you explain 697 00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:24,560 Speaker 2: with an open heart. You have to explain to her 698 00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:26,680 Speaker 2: what's going on, even to the point of being like, 699 00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:27,880 Speaker 2: I don't want to tell you this. 700 00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:31,560 Speaker 1: I literally am tormented at the thought of having to 701 00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:33,680 Speaker 1: tell you this. Sam. 702 00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:35,480 Speaker 2: Here, we're gonna get back to the stories, but here's 703 00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:36,920 Speaker 2: three of it's bad from our sponsors. 704 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:41,640 Speaker 1: My boyfriend is a jobless cheater. So why am I 705 00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:42,920 Speaker 1: unsure about moving on? 706 00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:45,720 Speaker 3: Why are you unsure. Come on, I don't know. We're 707 00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:47,520 Speaker 3: gonna have to find out. I know, I don't want 708 00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:49,560 Speaker 3: to know. Come on, that's that's there should be no 709 00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:50,040 Speaker 3: story here. 710 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:52,600 Speaker 2: Sorry in advance for such a long story, I tried 711 00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:54,800 Speaker 2: to be as informative as possible so I could give 712 00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:57,280 Speaker 2: a decent picture of my situation. So me, twenty five 713 00:29:57,320 --> 00:30:00,040 Speaker 2: female and my boyfriend quote unquote twenty six ma. He 714 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:02,640 Speaker 2: started dating in twenty nineteen. By the way, this comes 715 00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:05,400 Speaker 2: from user Disastrous Tear fifty four to seventy eight on 716 00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:08,360 Speaker 2: the rs slash Okay storytime suburtit. So we met in 717 00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:11,160 Speaker 2: college while he was in his previous relationship and I 718 00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:13,840 Speaker 2: was getting over a terrible breakup. Long story short, he 719 00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:16,120 Speaker 2: ended up breaking up with his X and some months 720 00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:18,320 Speaker 2: later we had our first day in April, but we 721 00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:21,360 Speaker 2: didn't make it official until last November. 722 00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:23,280 Speaker 3: When was the story What the heck? So was that 723 00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:27,480 Speaker 3: four years? We're not exactly sure that the timeline was 724 00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:28,080 Speaker 3: kind of weird. 725 00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:31,200 Speaker 2: Everything was going great until one day when he was 726 00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:33,400 Speaker 2: in another room, I saw a message from a girl 727 00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:35,840 Speaker 2: pop up on his phone, which obviously led me to 728 00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:38,360 Speaker 2: read all of the messages. I know this was an 729 00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:41,120 Speaker 2: invasion of privacy. But I had never heard this name before, 730 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:44,040 Speaker 2: and something just didn't feel right. They were flirting and 731 00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:46,480 Speaker 2: he was telling her that he really liked her. Keep 732 00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:49,720 Speaker 2: in mind, this was barely a month into our official relationship. 733 00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:53,000 Speaker 2: It was an immediate red flag, but since we weren't 734 00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:54,960 Speaker 2: together for long, I swept it under the rock. 735 00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:57,040 Speaker 3: Bad bad bad bad Ah. 736 00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:59,920 Speaker 2: You just a month into your relationship, you didn't try 737 00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:02,880 Speaker 2: enough to not look through his phone, and for good reason, 738 00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:06,640 Speaker 2: and for both of those reasons, Sharks, I'm out. Over 739 00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:08,880 Speaker 2: the course of the next few years, there had been 740 00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:11,680 Speaker 2: a few more instances similar to this one, which were 741 00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:15,080 Speaker 2: all little flirts through messages that I ultimately forgave him for. 742 00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:17,280 Speaker 2: The last straw for me was a time in June 743 00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:19,880 Speaker 2: of twenty twenty two that I traveled to my hometown 744 00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:22,040 Speaker 2: for a funeral of a close friend, and I came 745 00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:24,120 Speaker 2: back to find out that he had not only been 746 00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:27,440 Speaker 2: flirting with someone, but made plans and met up with them. 747 00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:30,320 Speaker 2: I couldn't imagine that while I was mourning the loss 748 00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:32,600 Speaker 2: of my friend, he was out having a jolly good 749 00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:35,360 Speaker 2: time with some other girls, and I didn't cross his 750 00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:38,400 Speaker 2: mind once. Side note, I think it's worth saying that 751 00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:41,760 Speaker 2: to my knowledge, he has not physically cheated, But to 752 00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:45,400 Speaker 2: be honest, I see emotionally cheating or anything you feel 753 00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:48,120 Speaker 2: the need to hide just as bad. Okay, but they 754 00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:50,680 Speaker 2: definitely physically cheated. He met up with a girl while 755 00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:53,200 Speaker 2: you were away. That being said, I told him I 756 00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:55,160 Speaker 2: wanted to go on a break so that he could 757 00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:57,520 Speaker 2: figure out what he wanted. I know I should have 758 00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:00,760 Speaker 2: just completely broken up with him at that point, but 759 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:03,360 Speaker 2: there's so much that went into me sticking around, and 760 00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:06,320 Speaker 2: it's hard to include every little detail in one redit post. 761 00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:08,600 Speaker 2: I will say though, that I've struggled with a low 762 00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:11,560 Speaker 2: self esteem for most of my teenage and young adult life, 763 00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:13,400 Speaker 2: and when he came into my life, he made me 764 00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:16,800 Speaker 2: feel so beautiful and love We were aligned spiritually, which 765 00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:18,920 Speaker 2: is honestly hard to come by these days, and our 766 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,640 Speaker 2: chemistry was so insane that I thought, surely this is 767 00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:25,000 Speaker 2: my person. Anyways, this break was the start of a 768 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:29,000 Speaker 2: two year long roller coaster of emotions, but we would 769 00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:32,520 Speaker 2: have deep conversations about our future and our upbringing and 770 00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:35,840 Speaker 2: how it possibly contributes to our bad habits, and this 771 00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:39,040 Speaker 2: is when things started clicking. I found out that basically 772 00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:42,400 Speaker 2: all of his male relatives on his dad's side, the uncles, 773 00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:45,360 Speaker 2: the cousins, and the granddad were cheaters or ladies. 774 00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:46,920 Speaker 1: Men, including his dad. 775 00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:49,560 Speaker 2: Run away as fast as you can run, run, run 776 00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:53,000 Speaker 2: sprint Olympian style. It's so bad that one of his 777 00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:56,720 Speaker 2: uncles was sent to the Great Beyond by his mistress. 778 00:32:57,160 --> 00:33:00,560 Speaker 2: Run Away, Paul, run away from this mail and his 779 00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:04,040 Speaker 2: entire family. As far as his dad, he cheated on 780 00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:06,640 Speaker 2: his mom throughout their whole marriage. They have both passed 781 00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:08,960 Speaker 2: away now, But I think because he gets compared to 782 00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:11,280 Speaker 2: his dad a lot, he's now subconsciously trying to be 783 00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:13,800 Speaker 2: just like him. I mentioned it to him and he agrees, 784 00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:15,840 Speaker 2: and he assured me that he wants to break this 785 00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:19,040 Speaker 2: generational curse. And I do believe that he wants to. 786 00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:22,920 Speaker 2: But actions speak louder than words. That being said, we 787 00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:26,360 Speaker 2: never fully got back together, but since we've lived together 788 00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:30,080 Speaker 2: all this time, we still go out as friends. And 789 00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:33,120 Speaker 2: if I'm being completely honest, we've had the spicy s 790 00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:34,160 Speaker 2: leap a few times too. 791 00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:35,520 Speaker 1: Girl, What are you doing? 792 00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:38,520 Speaker 3: You're you're kind of they're both a holes right now? 793 00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:41,400 Speaker 3: You know, you're so COGNI like, you're so cognizant of 794 00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:42,560 Speaker 3: like what's going on, and you're. 795 00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:45,680 Speaker 2: Like, uh, We've both been working on ourselves with the 796 00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:49,000 Speaker 2: intention on eventually getting back together, and I've seen some progress, 797 00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:50,960 Speaker 2: but I don't know if it's enough. There's other things 798 00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:54,080 Speaker 2: that are contributing to my frustration, like finances. I've carried 799 00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:57,480 Speaker 2: this relationship financially in so many ways. And don't get 800 00:33:57,480 --> 00:33:59,400 Speaker 2: me wrong, I don't have an issue with being the 801 00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:02,080 Speaker 2: main bread or helping him out since he doesn't really 802 00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:04,080 Speaker 2: have the family or support that I have, But to 803 00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:08,400 Speaker 2: be broken, irresponsible and having a lingering eye is crazy 804 00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:10,759 Speaker 2: to me. I feel like at this age we should 805 00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:13,160 Speaker 2: have our crap together and I can't wait forever for 806 00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:15,120 Speaker 2: him to get a grip, especially since I'm not the 807 00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:17,279 Speaker 2: one with the problem. I know I'm not perfect. I 808 00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:20,040 Speaker 2: can be very controlling and sometimes I feel like I'm nagging. 809 00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:22,400 Speaker 2: I also tend to shut down when I'm upset instead 810 00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:24,280 Speaker 2: of communicating, and I sometimes. 811 00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:26,040 Speaker 1: Feel like I make him feel like less of a man. 812 00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:29,480 Speaker 1: What are you? What are you doing? 813 00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:30,080 Speaker 2: O o pe? 814 00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:31,520 Speaker 3: Why are you defending? 815 00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:35,239 Speaker 2: I understand you just described that you you don't have 816 00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:37,560 Speaker 2: a high self worth, but this is not the word. 817 00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:39,759 Speaker 2: If you're aware of it, you need to like take 818 00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:42,160 Speaker 2: steps to build it up, because it's like you, If 819 00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:45,239 Speaker 2: you don't, you're gonna fall into another situation like this. 820 00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:47,880 Speaker 2: I mean, I hope that you wouldn't, but if you 821 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:51,600 Speaker 2: don't change that perspective in here, it's not Nah. 822 00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:53,160 Speaker 1: I feel like this is gonna keep happening to you. 823 00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:57,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, this is just a recurring cycle of rince repeat, recycle, rinse, repeat, recycle. 824 00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:01,600 Speaker 3: You're not bettering yourself. Yeah, you gotta get out of 825 00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:04,520 Speaker 3: this toxic environment in a toxic relationship right now. 826 00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:07,399 Speaker 2: Anyways, He's never said that I make him feel less 827 00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:10,280 Speaker 2: of a man, but I feel like by me nagging 828 00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:12,440 Speaker 2: all the time, he probably feels like I'm treating him 829 00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:12,919 Speaker 2: like a child. 830 00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:13,880 Speaker 1: That's an assumption. 831 00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:16,160 Speaker 2: He's also told me that he wishes I was softer, 832 00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:18,600 Speaker 2: but I feel like I've grown up to be hard 833 00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:21,200 Speaker 2: because I've had to pick up the slack so many ways. 834 00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:24,440 Speaker 2: Moving on to the issue at hand, He's graduating with 835 00:35:24,520 --> 00:35:27,359 Speaker 2: an engineering degree soon, and months ago I gave him 836 00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:29,799 Speaker 2: an ultimatum. I told him that by the day he 837 00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:32,640 Speaker 2: graduates in December, I have to see a change in 838 00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:35,400 Speaker 2: his actions and in order for us to be together again. 839 00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:39,080 Speaker 2: I need a grand gesture. I'm usually a simple girl 840 00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:41,480 Speaker 2: and don't ask for much or anything at all, but 841 00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:43,560 Speaker 2: I feel like, after all I've been through with him, 842 00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:46,560 Speaker 2: I deserve something, even if it's just a well thought 843 00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:49,040 Speaker 2: out dinner in a movie or something romantic. 844 00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:51,640 Speaker 1: And no, I don't want him to propose yet. 845 00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:53,960 Speaker 3: Oh no, No, you. 846 00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:56,360 Speaker 1: Need to really therapy self worth. 847 00:35:57,120 --> 00:35:59,879 Speaker 2: You need to go to therapy and unpack what keeps 848 00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:02,239 Speaker 2: you from seeing the value that you have and the 849 00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:05,319 Speaker 2: fact that this guy is borderline valueless to you. 850 00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:07,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, he has nothing to you, but stress. 851 00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:10,720 Speaker 2: You can't go from texting and flirting with multiple people 852 00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:12,880 Speaker 2: to suddenly being ready for marriage. 853 00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:16,399 Speaker 1: But we're ready for you to marry us. Every weekday at. 854 00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:19,880 Speaker 2: Three pm PST, when we go live on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, 855 00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:21,600 Speaker 2: and Twitch, all you have to do is tap our 856 00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:24,239 Speaker 2: profile and you're in. But before you go check if 857 00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:26,560 Speaker 2: we're live. Right now, we're going to finish this story, 858 00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:28,919 Speaker 2: and I feel like we've honestly peppered our thoughts into 859 00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:30,560 Speaker 2: there so much right now that we're just going to 860 00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:32,040 Speaker 2: go right into the end of the story. 861 00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:32,239 Speaker 1: Here. 862 00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:34,839 Speaker 3: Let's just say, are you everyone sucks? 863 00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:35,000 Speaker 2: Here? 864 00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:36,800 Speaker 3: I know Op's in that like that mindset. 865 00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:39,080 Speaker 2: No, I don't feel like it's everyone sucks because Op. 866 00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:40,480 Speaker 2: It's like it's more than like it. 867 00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:41,600 Speaker 3: She's supporting it though. 868 00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:43,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's like I feel like it's coming from 869 00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:45,560 Speaker 2: some kind of trauma. It's coming from something. 870 00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:48,279 Speaker 3: Well, it's just it's there's something that she it's something 871 00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:48,720 Speaker 3: she needs. 872 00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:50,600 Speaker 1: To go to therapy for and build up. 873 00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:52,680 Speaker 3: But the thing is she knows that like this, he's bad. 874 00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:55,360 Speaker 3: He's bad, like that's bad, it's bad, red flags, red flags, 875 00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:56,239 Speaker 3: and she's just like I. 876 00:36:56,200 --> 00:37:00,360 Speaker 2: Think, I think it's absurd that she's possibly can considering 877 00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:01,040 Speaker 2: marrying this guy. 878 00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:02,719 Speaker 3: He does, it's a possibility. It seems like she wants 879 00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:03,480 Speaker 3: to marry this guy, she. 880 00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:05,120 Speaker 1: Says, I'm not. I don't want him to propose. 881 00:37:05,239 --> 00:37:07,360 Speaker 2: Yet it's like you shouldn't want this guy to propose, 882 00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:09,520 Speaker 2: you shouldn't want this guy in general. That is so 883 00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:11,160 Speaker 2: I guess if you want to put it like that, Yeah, 884 00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:13,560 Speaker 2: everyone does suck. But at the same time, it's like 885 00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:15,239 Speaker 2: I feel like it's just because she she. 886 00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:17,399 Speaker 1: Thinks she's worthless. Well, let's we got to keep going. 887 00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:17,960 Speaker 1: Let's keep going. 888 00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:20,880 Speaker 2: The issue is he still hasn't secured a job after 889 00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:23,719 Speaker 2: he graduates, and I have a job offer for a 890 00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:26,400 Speaker 2: job in my hometown. Obviously, as an engineer, he'd be 891 00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:29,200 Speaker 2: making more, which is why I considered putting my career 892 00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:31,759 Speaker 2: on hold to follow him. If we're going to work 893 00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:34,400 Speaker 2: this out. He has been applying and landing interviews, but 894 00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:38,040 Speaker 2: nothing is sticking. I wouldn't mind doing long distance, but honestly, 895 00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:40,280 Speaker 2: I don't know if I could trust him if we're apart. 896 00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:43,160 Speaker 2: He still hasn't even asked me to be his girlfriend again. 897 00:37:43,239 --> 00:37:45,799 Speaker 2: So I don't know why I'm even stressing. Leave this man. 898 00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:46,560 Speaker 1: But I don't know. 899 00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:48,879 Speaker 2: My head has just scrambled, and I've never thought I'd 900 00:37:48,920 --> 00:37:51,080 Speaker 2: be putting my life on hold for a man. 901 00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:53,239 Speaker 1: So what should I do? Leave this man? 902 00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:53,720 Speaker 2: Easy? 903 00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:54,560 Speaker 3: One more time? 904 00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:58,000 Speaker 1: Leave this man? Can we go three? Leave this man? 905 00:37:58,400 --> 00:37:59,560 Speaker 4: What are you doing? 906 00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:01,960 Speaker 3: You already know, That's what I'm saying. Oh, Pete, you 907 00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:05,319 Speaker 3: are so aware, but so unaware at the same time. 908 00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:08,320 Speaker 3: I don't understand therapy. You need therapy. You do need therapy. 909 00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:10,160 Speaker 3: You need a united a support system where you are 910 00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:12,040 Speaker 3: loved and you are cherished, and you are and put 911 00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:14,520 Speaker 3: in the right place. But this is not it. 912 00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:19,040 Speaker 5: My parents are Christian, but I don't believe in God. 913 00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:23,680 Speaker 5: They think I've been corrupted. Oh boy, comfortable, pretty heavy. 914 00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:25,800 Speaker 5: So I don't even know where to begin with this one. 915 00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:27,680 Speaker 5: It's been a thorn in my flesh for as long 916 00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:31,239 Speaker 5: as I can remember. Clever Okay, for context, I am 917 00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:34,279 Speaker 5: a twenty two female and have recently graduated college. I 918 00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:37,760 Speaker 5: grew up in a relatively normal environment with two loving parents. 919 00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:41,120 Speaker 5: They were never overly strict and have often let me 920 00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:43,759 Speaker 5: get away with more than I should have loo. I 921 00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:47,840 Speaker 5: grew up as a non denominational, evangelistic Christian same and 922 00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:52,360 Speaker 5: went to church every Sunday. Was regularly enrolled in Bible study, vacation, 923 00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:55,799 Speaker 5: Bible school, and Christian camp over the summer, so there 924 00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:58,759 Speaker 5: was always little to no doubt that the Bible was 925 00:38:58,800 --> 00:39:02,080 Speaker 5: the truth to our eggs distance from my perspective. Despite this, 926 00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:05,160 Speaker 5: I never particularly wanted to go to church and saw 927 00:39:05,239 --> 00:39:07,720 Speaker 5: it mostly as a chour. It does get kind of boring, 928 00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:11,839 Speaker 5: I will say, yeah, I mean, especially as a kid. 929 00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:14,640 Speaker 5: I mean, growing up hated it. It's like being drugged 930 00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:17,960 Speaker 5: a church. As early as I remember, I never got 931 00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:20,400 Speaker 5: along with any other other kids at my age that 932 00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:22,480 Speaker 5: were in the church always found them to be self 933 00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:28,319 Speaker 5: righteous and often felt outcast the Pharisees. By the way, 934 00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:31,840 Speaker 5: this comes from frog Lover forty two zero on the Rslage. Okay, 935 00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:34,200 Speaker 5: storytime separated it. You can't say four twenty oh we can. 936 00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:38,239 Speaker 5: I just didn't read it right. Sorry, I can't say it. 937 00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:39,479 Speaker 5: But I'm just just like sick. 938 00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:40,520 Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, okay. 939 00:39:40,680 --> 00:39:43,680 Speaker 5: I remember one specific instance where I was at Christian 940 00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:46,520 Speaker 5: camp at nine years old and my vocabulary consisted of 941 00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:49,520 Speaker 5: phrases like that sucks and what the heck. In response 942 00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:52,440 Speaker 5: of a group of girls reprimanded me for it and 943 00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:55,600 Speaker 5: began to stubbornly exclude me from their hangouts. Dude, that 944 00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:58,799 Speaker 5: is so sorry. In the Bible, Jesus is like talking 945 00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:01,759 Speaker 5: to the Pharisees of like, include everyone just because they're 946 00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:04,440 Speaker 5: different from you and not super as righteous usual include everyone. 947 00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:05,759 Speaker 1: But then these guys are excluding him. 948 00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:07,960 Speaker 5: The girls are being these Pharisees. They're like, you say, 949 00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:08,520 Speaker 5: what the heck? 950 00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:10,720 Speaker 4: Uh No, no, no, that's. 951 00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:14,400 Speaker 1: Because that's also such a kid thing to do. 952 00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:19,200 Speaker 5: Yeah. Yeah. Similar situations like this persisted through my adolescence, 953 00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:21,360 Speaker 5: where I often felt like I didn't belong in a 954 00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:24,520 Speaker 5: church community. Ah, that's so sad. They missed the point. 955 00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:26,920 Speaker 5: I also took issue with a lot of things that 956 00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:28,880 Speaker 5: were taught to young children as well. When I was 957 00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:31,760 Speaker 5: in the sixth grade, I attended a weekly Bible study. 958 00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:34,920 Speaker 5: One particular lesson had to do with what girls should 959 00:40:34,960 --> 00:40:37,640 Speaker 5: and shouldn't wear in the presence of young boys. I 960 00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:41,000 Speaker 5: took explicit issue with this because I feel like it 961 00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:43,759 Speaker 5: was morally wrong for me to confine myself in order 962 00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:46,799 Speaker 5: for a boy to control his natural urges. I talked 963 00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:49,360 Speaker 5: to my mom about this, and she ended up siding 964 00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:51,880 Speaker 5: with the teacher, to my dismay. As I grew older 965 00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:54,800 Speaker 5: and went through puberty, I entered a very difficult stage 966 00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:57,880 Speaker 5: with Christianity. I repressed any attraction I had to the 967 00:40:57,920 --> 00:41:01,399 Speaker 5: opposite sex in fear of sinning. I would have obsessive 968 00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:04,560 Speaker 5: and repetitive thoughts about how if I didn't ask for 969 00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:07,120 Speaker 5: forgiveness for all of my sins, I would be severely 970 00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:12,239 Speaker 5: punished by God. She wasn't taught about loving God. She 971 00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:15,680 Speaker 5: was taught about a very like like that kind of guy, 972 00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:19,400 Speaker 5: vengeful God. Oh that's hard, that is so hard. I 973 00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:22,200 Speaker 5: felt like I was at odds with everything I had 974 00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:25,480 Speaker 5: been taught my parents continue to enforce Christian values onto me, 975 00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:29,640 Speaker 5: making it sometimes difficult having conversations with them, specifically my mother. 976 00:41:29,719 --> 00:41:33,480 Speaker 5: When I answered college, I had a sharky relationship with Christianity. 977 00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:37,360 Speaker 5: I felt very conflicted with everything, and no one seemed 978 00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:39,880 Speaker 5: to have an answer that satisfied me. As I spent 979 00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:42,799 Speaker 5: more time away from home in college, it hit me 980 00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:44,560 Speaker 5: all of a sudden, what if everything I had been 981 00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:46,799 Speaker 5: taught wasn't true at all? I saw people from all 982 00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:49,480 Speaker 5: walks of life at school, good and happy people who 983 00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:52,000 Speaker 5: have never grown up Christian. I know this sounds crazy, 984 00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:54,759 Speaker 5: but I had been taught that it was impossible to 985 00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:57,920 Speaker 5: have true happiness or healthy relationships if you weren't Christian. 986 00:41:57,960 --> 00:42:00,000 Speaker 4: I was taught that too, Really were you? 987 00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:00,200 Speaker 5: Oh? 988 00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:00,520 Speaker 3: Well? 989 00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:04,000 Speaker 5: You always repointed it towards Jesus. He's like, yeah, but 990 00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:05,640 Speaker 5: I could see where this is conflicting. 991 00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:06,040 Speaker 4: Yeah. 992 00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:09,000 Speaker 5: While I began to gain healthy and loyal friendships with 993 00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:13,240 Speaker 5: my peers, I realized this wasn't necessarily true. I strayed 994 00:42:13,480 --> 00:42:17,120 Speaker 5: further away from Christianity and the religious guilt and obsessive 995 00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:20,560 Speaker 5: thoughts I had. My entire life had began to grow smaller. 996 00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:23,839 Speaker 5: I realized my upbringing was only one of many, and 997 00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:27,239 Speaker 5: no one had the same religious experience as myself. I 998 00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:30,680 Speaker 5: felt stupid for not realizing it sooner. You can't put 999 00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:31,280 Speaker 5: that on yourself. 1000 00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:33,840 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's how you were taught and grown up. You 1001 00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:35,080 Speaker 4: know that's not wrong. 1002 00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:37,839 Speaker 5: Yeah. Currently I'm in a weird spot with religion. Well, 1003 00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:40,840 Speaker 5: it gave me so much explanation of why we exist. 1004 00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:43,320 Speaker 5: I had a strong set of moral principles. I have 1005 00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:47,040 Speaker 5: had a hard time believing anything as absolute fact. At 1006 00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:49,440 Speaker 5: this point, I really don't know the answer to anything, 1007 00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:51,600 Speaker 5: but I hope as I grow older, I will come 1008 00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:55,160 Speaker 5: to a conclusion for myself that will be satisfactory. Now, 1009 00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:57,880 Speaker 5: after that long winded backstory, I want to bring up 1010 00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:00,920 Speaker 5: my current relationship with my parents. My parents seem very 1011 00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:03,680 Speaker 5: Christian and set in their beliefs. It's hard to even 1012 00:43:03,719 --> 00:43:06,440 Speaker 5: talk to my mother specifically without her mentioning the Bible. 1013 00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:09,200 Speaker 5: I've spoke to her before about where I am two 1014 00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:11,640 Speaker 5: years ago, and I don't think it was any help. 1015 00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:13,719 Speaker 5: I know what she thinks of non Christians as well, 1016 00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:16,600 Speaker 5: which makes me sick to my stomach knowing that that's 1017 00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:19,080 Speaker 5: what she thinks of me. Now she believes they are 1018 00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:22,120 Speaker 5: essentially lost, and, as I've said before, will never find 1019 00:43:22,239 --> 00:43:25,360 Speaker 5: true happiness. Anytime I'm struggling, I want to turn to 1020 00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:28,080 Speaker 5: my mother for advice. I met with the same response, 1021 00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:30,360 Speaker 5: If you turn to God, everything will fall into place. 1022 00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:33,360 Speaker 5: I'm old enough to know that struggles are normal for 1023 00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:35,759 Speaker 5: someone my age, but it's hard knowing that I have 1024 00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:38,480 Speaker 5: such a disconnect with my mother. I've lived in an 1025 00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:41,680 Speaker 5: extremely privileged life, and I am grateful for everything my 1026 00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:44,319 Speaker 5: parents have done for me. And while this issue is 1027 00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:47,040 Speaker 5: miniscule to the grand scheme of things, it's so hard 1028 00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:49,600 Speaker 5: to know that there will always be a huge rift 1029 00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:52,400 Speaker 5: in my relationship with my parents as they grow older. 1030 00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:56,000 Speaker 5: I have become even more anxious about our disconnect, knowing 1031 00:43:56,080 --> 00:43:58,960 Speaker 5: that I don't have time with them forever, which kills 1032 00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:01,840 Speaker 5: me inside every single day. Even if I try to 1033 00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:04,920 Speaker 5: talk to my mother about respecting my own journey with religion, 1034 00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:07,880 Speaker 5: she will never accept it, because to her, believing in 1035 00:44:07,920 --> 00:44:10,319 Speaker 5: the Bible is the only truth and will give me 1036 00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:13,400 Speaker 5: eternal salvation. Even to this day, I will carry a 1037 00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:15,640 Speaker 5: significant amount of guilt, and I will have issues with 1038 00:44:15,719 --> 00:44:19,040 Speaker 5: my society and feel extraordinarily guilty when it comes to 1039 00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:21,959 Speaker 5: spicy sleep I often fear I'm going to hg double 1040 00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:24,640 Speaker 5: hockey sticks despite not believing in it, and I'm scared 1041 00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:27,040 Speaker 5: that I will never find true happiness and I will 1042 00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:29,319 Speaker 5: one day have failed a marriage because I am no 1043 00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:33,239 Speaker 5: longer Christian. Even though I know modesty is completely subjective, 1044 00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:36,400 Speaker 5: I sometimes feel I am sleazy for showing too much cleavage, 1045 00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:38,880 Speaker 5: et cetera. Even if I don't believe those thoughts are true, 1046 00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:41,960 Speaker 5: they still cause me anxiety because they were ingrained in 1047 00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:45,000 Speaker 5: me as a child. Oh this is so hard. 1048 00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:48,640 Speaker 4: Gosh, this is so hard your. 1049 00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:53,520 Speaker 5: Understanding and realizing the thoughts and issues. I mean, therapy 1050 00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:54,480 Speaker 5: I think would. 1051 00:44:54,280 --> 00:44:55,800 Speaker 4: Be really be great. 1052 00:44:56,440 --> 00:44:58,880 Speaker 6: Yes, oh my gosh, Yeah that is hard because like, 1053 00:44:59,040 --> 00:45:01,359 Speaker 6: I don't know, I didn't grow up that way. Yeah, 1054 00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:04,160 Speaker 6: I grew up without any religion in my life, but 1055 00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:08,360 Speaker 6: I've had many friends that are Christian and friends that 1056 00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:10,719 Speaker 6: were of other religions as well, and like learning all 1057 00:45:10,719 --> 00:45:12,759 Speaker 6: about that kind of stuff, and I don't know, it's 1058 00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:15,680 Speaker 6: just like it just seems so strange. 1059 00:45:16,360 --> 00:45:19,759 Speaker 1: I don't even know how to talk about this. It is. 1060 00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:21,919 Speaker 5: It is strange. And like, I mean, I was taught 1061 00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:23,239 Speaker 5: I was Christian, I grew up Christian, but. 1062 00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:25,600 Speaker 6: I'm not saying the religion sounds strange. I'm just saying, 1063 00:45:25,680 --> 00:45:28,360 Speaker 6: like I mean, it can't be strange. My sentence, I 1064 00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:30,200 Speaker 6: didn't know how to finish my sentence. 1065 00:45:30,239 --> 00:45:30,720 Speaker 5: It's strange. 1066 00:45:30,920 --> 00:45:33,399 Speaker 6: Strange to grow up that way and to have all 1067 00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:36,800 Speaker 6: of these like feelings of pressure on you about everything 1068 00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:37,399 Speaker 6: in your life. 1069 00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:39,520 Speaker 4: You know what I mean? That just sounds very uncomfortable. 1070 00:45:39,600 --> 00:45:42,480 Speaker 5: Yeah, I grew up the same as OPI. I feel 1071 00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:44,919 Speaker 5: the same as Hidas in a lot of ways, and 1072 00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:47,399 Speaker 5: you know, it is tough going that way. I think 1073 00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:51,520 Speaker 5: like a therapist could help. And also having a community, Yeah, 1074 00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:54,080 Speaker 5: that what has helped me is I found a community 1075 00:45:54,239 --> 00:45:56,440 Speaker 5: that are Christian and they're not like those group of 1076 00:45:56,440 --> 00:45:58,719 Speaker 5: girls you say bad words. I'm not going to be 1077 00:45:58,719 --> 00:46:00,640 Speaker 5: your friend. They accept me for who I am, where 1078 00:46:00,640 --> 00:46:02,319 Speaker 5: I'm at, and I'm willing to have those kind of 1079 00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:04,680 Speaker 5: conversations right and they still like I have a good friend. 1080 00:46:04,719 --> 00:46:06,520 Speaker 5: Anytime I have issues, I talked to him and he 1081 00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:08,200 Speaker 5: him and I have the same mindset and he backs 1082 00:46:08,239 --> 00:46:09,400 Speaker 5: me up and he knows where I'm at with this 1083 00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:11,640 Speaker 5: kind of stuff. That's good and that supports great. I 1084 00:46:11,719 --> 00:46:13,400 Speaker 5: just hate that. I just hate that people treat you 1085 00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:15,160 Speaker 5: this way, and they don't. They don't love you for 1086 00:46:15,200 --> 00:46:17,319 Speaker 5: who you are, and now you feel bad for being 1087 00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:17,680 Speaker 5: who you. 1088 00:46:17,640 --> 00:46:20,120 Speaker 4: Are, right, I know that's the hard part, and. 1089 00:46:20,040 --> 00:46:22,520 Speaker 5: That's not how it's supposed to go right at all. 1090 00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:25,400 Speaker 4: That's just that's ah. 1091 00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:26,839 Speaker 6: Because so many things are just like I don't know, 1092 00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:29,360 Speaker 6: it just seems hard to like, like, I feel like 1093 00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:31,560 Speaker 6: growing up when you're young, how old does it p 1094 00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:32,000 Speaker 6: to be there? 1095 00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:32,879 Speaker 1: Twenty two? 1096 00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:36,920 Speaker 4: Oh oh yeah, I forgot, I was too forth anyway, I. 1097 00:46:36,840 --> 00:46:39,040 Speaker 6: Feel like when you're young and like growing up just 1098 00:46:39,080 --> 00:46:40,759 Speaker 6: through high school, middle school and stuff like that, you're 1099 00:46:40,760 --> 00:46:43,520 Speaker 6: already learning about so many rules about how you should 1100 00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:46,160 Speaker 6: act towards other people, how you should carry yourself, how 1101 00:46:46,200 --> 00:46:46,799 Speaker 6: you should. 1102 00:46:46,560 --> 00:46:47,359 Speaker 4: Just like be as a person. 1103 00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:50,080 Speaker 6: You're already figuring out that so much, like all that 1104 00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:53,000 Speaker 6: based on your own experiences, and there's so much that 1105 00:46:53,040 --> 00:46:55,520 Speaker 6: you can take from other people's experiences and learning from 1106 00:46:55,520 --> 00:46:58,480 Speaker 6: other stories and stuff. But it just seems really hard 1107 00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:01,600 Speaker 6: to have like so many rules like put on you 1108 00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:05,359 Speaker 6: just from religion, from your parents with religion, when there's 1109 00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:07,920 Speaker 6: already so many things like that, so many pressures like 1110 00:47:07,960 --> 00:47:09,080 Speaker 6: that from everywhere else. 1111 00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:10,759 Speaker 4: They do you know, what I mean, I don't know. 1112 00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:11,640 Speaker 4: That just seems right. 1113 00:47:12,040 --> 00:47:14,359 Speaker 5: I'm so sorry, OPI Yeah, I wish I could turn 1114 00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:17,120 Speaker 5: my mother and father, the people I love and respect 1115 00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:19,399 Speaker 5: more than anything in the world. I can't because they 1116 00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:22,719 Speaker 5: will just reaffirm my fears. Truly feels like there is 1117 00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:25,200 Speaker 5: no way out of the situation and one day I 1118 00:47:25,239 --> 00:47:27,239 Speaker 5: will just have to accept it. But really don't want 1119 00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:29,480 Speaker 5: that to be the case, because my parents are good 1120 00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:31,400 Speaker 5: people and I want to be able to be close 1121 00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:34,080 Speaker 5: with them without feeling like there is this big wall 1122 00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:37,000 Speaker 5: of religion dividing us. They are proud of me and 1123 00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:39,880 Speaker 5: everything I have accomplished, but they still think my beliefs 1124 00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:43,160 Speaker 5: are fundamentally wrong and that I have been corrupted by 1125 00:47:43,239 --> 00:47:45,880 Speaker 5: modern culture. I guess I'm asking for advice on how 1126 00:47:45,920 --> 00:47:49,080 Speaker 5: to navigate this situation without feeling too defeated. I don't 1127 00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:51,359 Speaker 5: want to feel terrible knowing that my parents think I'm 1128 00:47:51,360 --> 00:47:54,799 Speaker 5: lost and I'm leading a life devoted of fulfillment. How 1129 00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:57,759 Speaker 5: can I amend this rift any people in similar situations 1130 00:47:57,800 --> 00:47:59,400 Speaker 5: that know what I can say or do to make 1131 00:47:59,440 --> 00:48:01,680 Speaker 5: them understand? But I hope you understand that we go 1132 00:48:01,760 --> 00:48:04,560 Speaker 5: live every weekend at three PMPSC just tap our profile. 1133 00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:07,480 Speaker 1: I don't know. 1134 00:48:07,719 --> 00:48:10,040 Speaker 6: I mean, I again didn't grow up this way, so 1135 00:48:10,080 --> 00:48:13,760 Speaker 6: I really don't know how you would go about it, honestly, 1136 00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:14,399 Speaker 6: what do you think? 1137 00:48:14,520 --> 00:48:17,120 Speaker 5: I think it's super sad you've been in a Christian 1138 00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:19,279 Speaker 5: community and no one has been able to relate to 1139 00:48:19,320 --> 00:48:22,239 Speaker 5: you and meet you where you are, because Jesus is 1140 00:48:22,280 --> 00:48:24,440 Speaker 5: all about meeting you where you are, right and it 1141 00:48:24,560 --> 00:48:26,400 Speaker 5: sucks that no one in this community has done that. 1142 00:48:27,880 --> 00:48:30,000 Speaker 4: And yeah, that's so tough. 1143 00:48:30,200 --> 00:48:32,880 Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean, I don't know if like trying to 1144 00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:35,200 Speaker 6: understand that, like it seems like your parents aren't going 1145 00:48:35,239 --> 00:48:37,560 Speaker 6: to change. Yeah, I know, right, so you're not going 1146 00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:39,960 Speaker 6: to try to change your parents, especially if they're so 1147 00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:42,880 Speaker 6: adamant about this. I think I think it would probably 1148 00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:46,360 Speaker 6: just be about like accepting that this is just how 1149 00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:49,600 Speaker 6: it's gonna be, not in the way that like you know, 1150 00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:51,799 Speaker 6: it's going to be a problem forever, but just like 1151 00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:54,320 Speaker 6: if you can find some sort of like piecing stepence 1152 00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:56,520 Speaker 6: in yourself that like it's okay for you to have 1153 00:48:56,560 --> 00:48:59,799 Speaker 6: a difference in belief than your parents, then maybe that 1154 00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:02,000 Speaker 6: will mean that you'll be able to kind of like 1155 00:49:02,239 --> 00:49:05,480 Speaker 6: you know, deal with them not agreeing you know what 1156 00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:07,240 Speaker 6: I mean, Like if you kind of just really like, Okay, 1157 00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:09,320 Speaker 6: this is how I am, this is an okay situation. 1158 00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:12,000 Speaker 4: It's fine that we disagree, then maybe you can. 1159 00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:14,520 Speaker 6: Just like take some deep breaths when they don't quite 1160 00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:16,400 Speaker 6: feel the same way, and you'll be able to kind 1161 00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:18,000 Speaker 6: of shrug it off a bit easier. I don't know, 1162 00:49:18,239 --> 00:49:20,200 Speaker 6: I don't know, but that's that's really hard though. 1163 00:49:20,280 --> 00:49:22,600 Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm on the train of you're in a different 1164 00:49:22,640 --> 00:49:26,120 Speaker 5: you're in a hopefully you're in just a tough spot 1165 00:49:26,160 --> 00:49:28,439 Speaker 5: with God right now, and that like someone can help 1166 00:49:28,440 --> 00:49:29,759 Speaker 5: you and meet you where you are, and he can 1167 00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:31,919 Speaker 5: meet you where you are. Yeah, parents, Like I hate 1168 00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:34,279 Speaker 5: that your parents have this idea and like this, like 1169 00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:36,319 Speaker 5: it's so sad that the parents are like anyone that 1170 00:49:36,480 --> 00:49:39,480 Speaker 5: isn't safe just lost and they don't know true, Like 1171 00:49:39,480 --> 00:49:42,200 Speaker 5: that's not how we should be viewing, like as that's 1172 00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:43,920 Speaker 5: how you're supposed to be viewing people should be, like, 1173 00:49:43,920 --> 00:49:45,879 Speaker 5: you know, hopefully they do know that Jesus loves them. 1174 00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:48,120 Speaker 5: I just hope that everyone knows that Jesus loves them. 1175 00:49:48,120 --> 00:49:50,120 Speaker 5: And it's just like it's it's tough that in this 1176 00:49:50,360 --> 00:49:52,560 Speaker 5: in this white people just don't go better that way, yeah, 1177 00:49:52,880 --> 00:49:53,759 Speaker 5: my heart really. 1178 00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:55,560 Speaker 6: And on the other hand too, it's like if you 1179 00:49:55,880 --> 00:49:58,520 Speaker 6: if you don't ever like go back to it, it 1180 00:49:58,600 --> 00:50:03,439 Speaker 6: absolutely is pa and very very doable to like have 1181 00:50:03,480 --> 00:50:06,719 Speaker 6: a fulfilling and happy, happy life without all of them, 1182 00:50:06,760 --> 00:50:08,720 Speaker 6: because I feel like, you know, everyone has their different 1183 00:50:08,719 --> 00:50:09,960 Speaker 6: experiences with that stuff. 1184 00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:11,920 Speaker 1: Everyone grew up a different way. Everyone. 1185 00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:14,040 Speaker 6: You know, there's so many other religions in the world, 1186 00:50:14,320 --> 00:50:16,360 Speaker 6: and whatever you feel connected to. 1187 00:50:16,440 --> 00:50:17,440 Speaker 5: I'm pretty biased. 1188 00:50:17,520 --> 00:50:21,440 Speaker 4: I really We're about biased in like the opposite ways. 1189 00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:25,520 Speaker 6: We're like we're like op's like two different mindsets. 1190 00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:25,719 Speaker 4: On this thing. 1191 00:50:25,840 --> 00:50:28,080 Speaker 6: But yeah, I mean, whatever you choose, like there is 1192 00:50:28,120 --> 00:50:30,040 Speaker 6: an absolutely possible way for you. 1193 00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:31,040 Speaker 4: To be happy either way. 1194 00:50:31,120 --> 00:50:33,440 Speaker 6: And I think I don't know, I have heard this 1195 00:50:33,520 --> 00:50:35,440 Speaker 6: is this might be going on a tangent for too long, 1196 00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:38,760 Speaker 6: but I have heard someone explain like just general judgment 1197 00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:40,520 Speaker 6: in a way, like not even just with the religion, 1198 00:50:40,560 --> 00:50:43,040 Speaker 6: but with anything of like if someone is like taught 1199 00:50:43,160 --> 00:50:45,040 Speaker 6: that like they can't be a certain way, Like I 1200 00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:47,080 Speaker 6: think it was explained with like it was like someone 1201 00:50:47,080 --> 00:50:48,960 Speaker 6: talking about like fat people or something like that. 1202 00:50:49,040 --> 00:50:49,600 Speaker 4: It was like. 1203 00:50:49,520 --> 00:50:53,040 Speaker 6: People have been taught to be ashamed of themselves if 1204 00:50:53,040 --> 00:50:53,840 Speaker 6: they gain anyway. 1205 00:50:53,920 --> 00:50:55,080 Speaker 4: So if they see someone. 1206 00:50:54,800 --> 00:50:56,880 Speaker 6: Else that has gained weight or is fat or anything 1207 00:50:56,920 --> 00:50:59,080 Speaker 6: like that and they are not feeling ashamed, then they 1208 00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:01,800 Speaker 6: get mad at that person and start judging that person 1209 00:51:01,800 --> 00:51:04,279 Speaker 6: and want to tear them down because it's like, wait, wait, 1210 00:51:04,320 --> 00:51:06,600 Speaker 6: wait a second, I am not allowed to do this, 1211 00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:08,319 Speaker 6: so why are you allowed to do this? That makes 1212 00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:09,960 Speaker 6: me you know what I mean? So it might be 1213 00:51:10,080 --> 00:51:12,400 Speaker 6: something similar in this situation. So I don't know if 1214 00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:14,920 Speaker 6: there's like a way to kind of just like there's 1215 00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:18,440 Speaker 6: a lot of rewiring places. Yeah, maybe there's a way 1216 00:51:18,440 --> 00:51:20,080 Speaker 6: to understand where your parents are at and just just 1217 00:51:20,080 --> 00:51:22,520 Speaker 6: be like, you know what, they have their own experience 1218 00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:24,920 Speaker 6: with this, They have their own pressures that they're dealing with. 1219 00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:27,879 Speaker 6: Maybe some of it isn't related to me, or it 1220 00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:29,080 Speaker 6: doesn't need to apply to me. 1221 00:51:29,280 --> 00:51:31,680 Speaker 4: I don't know. It's so complicated, it's auper complicated. 1222 00:51:31,680 --> 00:51:34,520 Speaker 5: And finish out the story. Disclaimer. I understand that a 1223 00:51:34,600 --> 00:51:37,840 Speaker 5: significant portion of my reasoning for no longer being Christian 1224 00:51:37,960 --> 00:51:40,239 Speaker 5: has to do with the way people have corrupted the 1225 00:51:40,239 --> 00:51:42,040 Speaker 5: Word of God. I see where that is. I also 1226 00:51:42,080 --> 00:51:44,799 Speaker 5: have a hard time believing the actual doctrine as well, 1227 00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:46,960 Speaker 5: but in fear of this post being longer than it 1228 00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:48,800 Speaker 5: already is, I did not want to include it. I 1229 00:51:48,840 --> 00:51:51,640 Speaker 5: think very highly of Christianity for what it truly is. 1230 00:51:51,840 --> 00:51:54,480 Speaker 5: I just don't necessarily believe it. I will not accept 1231 00:51:54,520 --> 00:51:58,319 Speaker 5: any hates towards Christians, and I discourage any person to 1232 00:51:58,360 --> 00:51:58,680 Speaker 5: do so. 1233 00:51:58,880 --> 00:51:59,600 Speaker 1: I think that's good. 1234 00:51:59,719 --> 00:52:02,000 Speaker 6: I think I think a lot of people jump towards 1235 00:52:02,239 --> 00:52:06,560 Speaker 6: like hating and judging religion, and especially Christianity, because of 1236 00:52:06,880 --> 00:52:09,360 Speaker 6: a lot of examples of judgmental Christians. But it's like, 1237 00:52:09,400 --> 00:52:10,640 Speaker 6: that's not you don't. 1238 00:52:10,440 --> 00:52:10,960 Speaker 4: Need to do that. 1239 00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:14,760 Speaker 5: Yeah, fundamentally, that's We're not supposed to judge as Christians. Okay, 1240 00:52:14,800 --> 00:52:17,719 Speaker 5: as a Christian you're not supposed to judge other non Christians. 1241 00:52:18,080 --> 00:52:19,759 Speaker 5: But as a Christian, you are supposed to judge. You 1242 00:52:19,840 --> 00:52:22,680 Speaker 5: are supposed to hold your other Christian fellow Christians accountable. 1243 00:52:23,360 --> 00:52:26,560 Speaker 4: So yeah, don't hate Christian Christians or Christian. 1244 00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:30,279 Speaker 5: Christians, don't hate non Christians. I mean that, come on, 1245 00:52:30,400 --> 00:52:31,600 Speaker 5: you're supposed to love everyone. 1246 00:52:31,880 --> 00:52:32,160 Speaker 2: God. 1247 00:52:32,520 --> 00:52:34,240 Speaker 4: Oh, that's so tricky, that's so difficult. 1248 00:52:34,239 --> 00:52:36,200 Speaker 6: But yeah, hopefully you can find people that are in 1249 00:52:36,239 --> 00:52:38,080 Speaker 6: your position as well and they can help you through it. 1250 00:52:38,160 --> 00:52:41,120 Speaker 4: But that's the end of that story. So we'll see 1251 00:52:41,120 --> 00:52:41,800 Speaker 4: you next time. 1252 00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:44,319 Speaker 1: Hey, y'all, it's John og Host here. We're gonna get 1253 00:52:44,320 --> 00:52:45,600 Speaker 1: back to the story. So but here's a quick three 1254 00:52:45,640 --> 00:52:47,239 Speaker 1: minute break from as for more sponsors. 1255 00:52:48,120 --> 00:52:50,799 Speaker 6: My dad wants to split my college fund with his 1256 00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:52,440 Speaker 6: affair child. 1257 00:52:53,320 --> 00:52:54,280 Speaker 5: That's your second family. 1258 00:52:54,360 --> 00:52:55,080 Speaker 4: Second family. 1259 00:52:55,239 --> 00:52:58,480 Speaker 5: What you get a golden Sam's golden rule, you get 1260 00:52:58,480 --> 00:52:59,600 Speaker 5: one practice family. 1261 00:53:00,160 --> 00:53:01,560 Speaker 1: Really, that's his rule. 1262 00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:02,320 Speaker 4: Oh my goodness. 1263 00:53:02,440 --> 00:53:05,600 Speaker 6: My father dropped a big bomb on our family last 1264 00:53:05,680 --> 00:53:08,959 Speaker 6: year when he revealed he has a secret son from 1265 00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:13,000 Speaker 6: his affair years ago. Oh my goodness, is starting out 1266 00:53:13,040 --> 00:53:16,960 Speaker 6: strong on this story. After my mom found out and 1267 00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:19,120 Speaker 6: he gave him the ultimatum, he cut things off with 1268 00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:22,120 Speaker 6: the mistress and she moved away until last year when 1269 00:53:22,160 --> 00:53:26,399 Speaker 6: she introduced him to their son, Hank. Hey, Hank, how's 1270 00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:28,560 Speaker 6: it going. I really don't give an aang about his 1271 00:53:28,800 --> 00:53:32,760 Speaker 6: Latin affair instinct since he didn't give his other family 1272 00:53:32,800 --> 00:53:34,560 Speaker 6: any consideration when he broke the news. 1273 00:53:34,640 --> 00:53:37,120 Speaker 5: Okay, cool, cool, So he stayed with you as a 1274 00:53:37,160 --> 00:53:38,280 Speaker 5: real family, I guess. 1275 00:53:38,640 --> 00:53:38,920 Speaker 1: Yeah. 1276 00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:41,879 Speaker 6: Still, I don't know. It seems like he's not making 1277 00:53:41,960 --> 00:53:42,919 Speaker 6: good decisions either way. 1278 00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:43,919 Speaker 1: Thank god. 1279 00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:47,640 Speaker 6: My mom divorced him, and now neither my brother Connor 1280 00:53:47,719 --> 00:53:50,720 Speaker 6: male eighteen, or my sister Sophia female fifteen. 1281 00:53:50,840 --> 00:53:53,600 Speaker 4: Neither of them or I want anything to do. 1282 00:53:53,560 --> 00:53:54,640 Speaker 1: With him anymore. 1283 00:53:54,719 --> 00:53:58,440 Speaker 6: By the way, this comes from disband depressed on the arstache. Okay, 1284 00:53:58,440 --> 00:54:01,680 Speaker 6: storytime separated it. So here's the thing. Though, We have 1285 00:54:01,719 --> 00:54:04,239 Speaker 6: a shared college fund that my mom's parents set up 1286 00:54:04,239 --> 00:54:06,840 Speaker 6: for us when we were little. My parents contribute almost 1287 00:54:06,880 --> 00:54:09,880 Speaker 6: half of the money and my maternal grandparents contribute the 1288 00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:10,399 Speaker 6: other half. 1289 00:54:10,480 --> 00:54:12,440 Speaker 5: See how it said mom keyword mom set up. 1290 00:54:12,600 --> 00:54:14,640 Speaker 4: Mom, Mom set the s up, not the dad. 1291 00:54:15,239 --> 00:54:17,960 Speaker 6: The account remains under my mom after the divorce. As 1292 00:54:18,040 --> 00:54:20,320 Speaker 6: far as I know, he stopped contributing to the account 1293 00:54:20,400 --> 00:54:23,160 Speaker 6: after the divorce. Last month, I found out that my 1294 00:54:23,239 --> 00:54:26,160 Speaker 6: dad's been harassing my mom because he wanted to add 1295 00:54:26,239 --> 00:54:28,520 Speaker 6: Hank as a beneficiary to the college fund. 1296 00:54:28,360 --> 00:54:29,240 Speaker 4: For my sib legs. 1297 00:54:29,440 --> 00:54:31,440 Speaker 1: What no, not win them. 1298 00:54:31,440 --> 00:54:33,960 Speaker 6: Maternal grandparents are also paying for it, and you're not 1299 00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:34,960 Speaker 6: even paying for it anymore. 1300 00:54:35,040 --> 00:54:36,800 Speaker 5: How old Tank eighteen we don't know yet. 1301 00:54:36,760 --> 00:54:38,719 Speaker 6: But I'm guessing only like a couple of years old, 1302 00:54:39,120 --> 00:54:40,960 Speaker 6: because it just said Hank is the son. 1303 00:54:40,800 --> 00:54:42,279 Speaker 4: From an affair a few years ago. 1304 00:54:42,600 --> 00:54:45,680 Speaker 5: We too, at plenty of time to get his college fund. 1305 00:54:46,080 --> 00:54:48,840 Speaker 6: Yeah, he's saying that Hank is his son and therefore 1306 00:54:49,040 --> 00:54:50,920 Speaker 6: entitled to the college fund that he's set up. 1307 00:54:50,880 --> 00:54:52,520 Speaker 4: For me, Connor and Sophia. 1308 00:54:52,600 --> 00:54:54,879 Speaker 6: My mom told him off, and now he has been 1309 00:54:55,040 --> 00:54:58,839 Speaker 6: going around harassing her online and to their mutual acquaintances 1310 00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:01,800 Speaker 6: and friends, claiming that she he is heartless and cruel 1311 00:55:02,000 --> 00:55:05,280 Speaker 6: for taking her anger out on an innocent child. 1312 00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:06,800 Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. 1313 00:55:07,880 --> 00:55:10,680 Speaker 6: And then he also had the genius idea to reach 1314 00:55:10,760 --> 00:55:14,040 Speaker 6: out to me and put pressure on my mom. He said, 1315 00:55:14,120 --> 00:55:16,960 Speaker 6: I should consider opening up my heart to Hank, who 1316 00:55:16,960 --> 00:55:18,640 Speaker 6: grew up without a father and. 1317 00:55:18,760 --> 00:55:22,080 Speaker 4: Wasn't set up in life like my siblings and me, Oh. 1318 00:55:22,160 --> 00:55:24,719 Speaker 5: Why are you making this Opie's problem that he didn't 1319 00:55:24,760 --> 00:55:25,240 Speaker 5: have a father? 1320 00:55:25,480 --> 00:55:25,719 Speaker 1: Yeah? 1321 00:55:25,719 --> 00:55:28,880 Speaker 4: What like's that's. 1322 00:55:28,680 --> 00:55:29,320 Speaker 1: On you, dude? 1323 00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:30,120 Speaker 4: That's all I knew. 1324 00:55:30,280 --> 00:55:32,920 Speaker 6: I left him on red since honestly, the things I 1325 00:55:32,960 --> 00:55:33,960 Speaker 6: wanted to say to that. 1326 00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:36,279 Speaker 4: Callous, evil monster maybe too much. 1327 00:55:37,080 --> 00:55:40,120 Speaker 6: Yesterday he changed tactics and now said he wanted to 1328 00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:43,960 Speaker 6: withdraw all his part of the money from the account 1329 00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:47,279 Speaker 6: divined them to make sure Hank has his share, and 1330 00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:53,080 Speaker 6: deposited the rest back into the account. 1331 00:55:52,040 --> 00:55:55,600 Speaker 5: We alsa loves Hank. I'm not buying this. I'm sorry, 1332 00:55:55,760 --> 00:55:58,560 Speaker 5: not buying what. We weren't there for Hank his whole year, 1333 00:55:58,560 --> 00:56:02,399 Speaker 5: and now you want money for him. Hank didn't grow 1334 00:56:02,480 --> 00:56:05,120 Speaker 5: up with the father, Hank didn't have a great family 1335 00:56:05,120 --> 00:56:06,920 Speaker 5: growing up, and now all of a sudden, you want 1336 00:56:06,920 --> 00:56:07,440 Speaker 5: to get money. 1337 00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:10,360 Speaker 6: That's a good that's a good point. 1338 00:56:10,520 --> 00:56:12,600 Speaker 4: That's a good point. That's a good point. With the 1339 00:56:12,640 --> 00:56:15,320 Speaker 4: caveat that since Connor and I didn't. 1340 00:56:15,040 --> 00:56:17,040 Speaker 6: Need to use the college fund for tuitions, since we 1341 00:56:17,120 --> 00:56:19,800 Speaker 6: both had full right scholarships, the money would be divided 1342 00:56:19,840 --> 00:56:22,879 Speaker 6: into two parts for Hank and Sophia, well instead of 1343 00:56:23,200 --> 00:56:24,880 Speaker 6: four parts for his four children. 1344 00:56:24,960 --> 00:56:27,120 Speaker 5: Well, then they should be compensated and use that as 1345 00:56:27,120 --> 00:56:28,359 Speaker 5: a down payment for their house. 1346 00:56:28,520 --> 00:56:30,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a great idea. 1347 00:56:30,239 --> 00:56:33,680 Speaker 6: Yeah, Sofia doesn't need all that money for her college thing, 1348 00:56:33,760 --> 00:56:36,640 Speaker 6: then like, yeah, they should get some of that money too. Yeah, 1349 00:56:36,760 --> 00:56:38,560 Speaker 6: or they just all go on a big family vacation 1350 00:56:38,719 --> 00:56:39,600 Speaker 6: without the dad. 1351 00:56:39,760 --> 00:56:42,080 Speaker 4: Maybe Hank and the dad can do something else and 1352 00:56:42,120 --> 00:56:42,680 Speaker 4: now him. 1353 00:56:42,840 --> 00:56:45,280 Speaker 6: Some of my dad's side of the family and even 1354 00:56:45,440 --> 00:56:48,680 Speaker 6: the mistress are pressuring my mom to agree to. 1355 00:56:48,640 --> 00:56:50,560 Speaker 4: That, and I'm praying that she won't. 1356 00:56:51,160 --> 00:56:54,640 Speaker 6: It makes me physically angry that we are being asked 1357 00:56:54,640 --> 00:56:57,040 Speaker 6: to split our money with my dad's a fair child. 1358 00:56:57,160 --> 00:56:58,960 Speaker 6: Even if yes, I don't need to use the money 1359 00:56:59,000 --> 00:57:00,840 Speaker 6: to pay for school, I will need it in the future. 1360 00:57:00,960 --> 00:57:03,560 Speaker 6: Same with Connor, and I know for a fact he 1361 00:57:03,600 --> 00:57:06,319 Speaker 6: would never use the same reasoning to exclude Connor and 1362 00:57:06,360 --> 00:57:08,960 Speaker 6: I from the fund just to have the money solely 1363 00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:09,799 Speaker 6: for Sophia. 1364 00:57:09,840 --> 00:57:12,040 Speaker 4: In the same situation, it's all for Hank. 1365 00:57:12,640 --> 00:57:15,160 Speaker 6: I understand that Hank is innocent and not responsible for 1366 00:57:15,200 --> 00:57:17,200 Speaker 6: his parents' actions, but I don't think of him as 1367 00:57:17,200 --> 00:57:19,320 Speaker 6: my brother. Heck, I don't even think of my father 1368 00:57:19,360 --> 00:57:21,600 Speaker 6: as my father anymore. To be honest, as far as 1369 00:57:21,640 --> 00:57:24,800 Speaker 6: I'm concerned, my family consists of me, my siblings, and 1370 00:57:24,840 --> 00:57:25,240 Speaker 6: my mom. 1371 00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:27,240 Speaker 4: That's it. So am I the a hole? 1372 00:57:27,440 --> 00:57:27,600 Speaker 2: Edit? 1373 00:57:27,760 --> 00:57:28,560 Speaker 1: I'm twenty three. 1374 00:57:28,680 --> 00:57:31,200 Speaker 4: Hank is fourteen, So not a few years ago? 1375 00:57:31,400 --> 00:57:34,080 Speaker 5: Wow, he's so we found out about it a few 1376 00:57:34,120 --> 00:57:36,360 Speaker 5: years ago? He can row Yeah, okay, and then it 1377 00:57:36,360 --> 00:57:37,680 Speaker 5: goes and there's still more edits. 1378 00:57:37,680 --> 00:57:39,200 Speaker 1: But yeah, what think? 1379 00:57:40,240 --> 00:57:42,320 Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm not buying that the dad is going to 1380 00:57:42,320 --> 00:57:45,280 Speaker 5: be doing the bestest things with this money. Yeah, because 1381 00:57:45,280 --> 00:57:47,720 Speaker 5: the mom said cut off the mistress and weuld still 1382 00:57:47,720 --> 00:57:50,000 Speaker 5: be together earlier. Yeah, you think he was still doing that. 1383 00:57:50,040 --> 00:57:51,760 Speaker 5: I think he's gotten some money trouble and he's trying 1384 00:57:51,760 --> 00:57:52,800 Speaker 5: to use his college fund again. 1385 00:57:52,800 --> 00:57:53,440 Speaker 4: It's interesting. 1386 00:57:53,560 --> 00:57:57,040 Speaker 6: Yeah, I have conflicting thoughts. I'm going to be so honest. 1387 00:57:57,080 --> 00:57:59,600 Speaker 6: I'm going to play Devil's advocate for just a second. 1388 00:58:00,040 --> 00:58:00,480 Speaker 4: Hear me out. 1389 00:58:00,520 --> 00:58:02,200 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, okay, so op. 1390 00:58:02,200 --> 00:58:03,880 Speaker 6: He was saying that what the dad wants to do, 1391 00:58:03,960 --> 00:58:06,960 Speaker 6: the dad has contributed money, stopped contributing after the divorce. 1392 00:58:06,960 --> 00:58:07,600 Speaker 1: Okay, what the. 1393 00:58:07,640 --> 00:58:11,160 Speaker 6: Dad wants to do is go in see what he contributed, 1394 00:58:11,280 --> 00:58:14,520 Speaker 6: split that into four, and take a quarter out for HENK. 1395 00:58:15,040 --> 00:58:16,760 Speaker 4: Honestly doesn't seem that bad. 1396 00:58:16,840 --> 00:58:17,680 Speaker 1: But I have. 1397 00:58:17,760 --> 00:58:21,080 Speaker 6: Another thought to contradict that, because here here's my thoughts. 1398 00:58:21,400 --> 00:58:23,520 Speaker 4: Excuse it is the money that he contributed. 1399 00:58:23,640 --> 00:58:25,720 Speaker 6: What I like about it is that he's not taking 1400 00:58:25,760 --> 00:58:28,360 Speaker 6: out the money that the mom or the grandparents contributed, 1401 00:58:28,400 --> 00:58:30,160 Speaker 6: because that's what I was afraid of, like, you can't, 1402 00:58:30,200 --> 00:58:33,200 Speaker 6: you can't have an affairs. Yeah, he's just taking like 1403 00:58:33,360 --> 00:58:35,320 Speaker 6: part of his portion out. He's not even taking like 1404 00:58:35,360 --> 00:58:37,440 Speaker 6: half of it. I'm pretty sure, because like you know, 1405 00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:39,439 Speaker 6: if Sophia and Hank are the only ones that would 1406 00:58:39,440 --> 00:58:41,640 Speaker 6: need it, possibly for college. Then like he would split 1407 00:58:41,680 --> 00:58:43,600 Speaker 6: it into half. But I think he said split into 1408 00:58:43,640 --> 00:58:45,440 Speaker 6: four and take a quarter of it out of just 1409 00:58:45,480 --> 00:58:47,919 Speaker 6: what he contributed god, which I like a lot better 1410 00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:50,880 Speaker 6: than the idea of taking out like part of what 1411 00:58:50,920 --> 00:58:52,480 Speaker 6: the mom and the grandparents contributed. 1412 00:58:52,600 --> 00:58:54,360 Speaker 1: That would be that would make me mad. 1413 00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:56,200 Speaker 5: Well, he could have done that maybe fourteen years ago. 1414 00:58:56,440 --> 00:58:56,680 Speaker 4: True. 1415 00:58:56,800 --> 00:58:57,040 Speaker 1: True. 1416 00:58:57,080 --> 00:59:00,080 Speaker 6: What I'm also thinking, though, too, oh boy, is to 1417 00:59:00,320 --> 00:59:03,280 Speaker 6: just go against that is that if he stopped contributing 1418 00:59:03,360 --> 00:59:06,000 Speaker 6: after the divorce, then he could take all the money 1419 00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:08,600 Speaker 6: that he would have been contributing and use that for Hank. 1420 00:59:08,640 --> 00:59:10,760 Speaker 6: You know what I mean, Because the child is fourteen 1421 00:59:10,840 --> 00:59:13,560 Speaker 6: years old, the divorce was probably like a long time ago, 1422 00:59:13,640 --> 00:59:14,760 Speaker 6: not just a few years, you know. 1423 00:59:14,760 --> 00:59:16,200 Speaker 5: I think it was a few years ago. They got divorce, 1424 00:59:16,280 --> 00:59:18,320 Speaker 5: They found out a few years ago about him, and 1425 00:59:18,360 --> 00:59:19,920 Speaker 5: then like a year later got divorced. 1426 00:59:19,920 --> 00:59:20,520 Speaker 1: Okay, gotcha. 1427 00:59:21,120 --> 00:59:24,600 Speaker 6: If he just like stopped contributing to the other three 1428 00:59:24,680 --> 00:59:27,840 Speaker 6: kids that he already had, then like, that's pretty stupid. 1429 00:59:27,840 --> 00:59:29,000 Speaker 4: And then all of a sudden, you want to be 1430 00:59:29,120 --> 00:59:30,880 Speaker 4: a good parent for Hank and do the same for him. 1431 00:59:30,960 --> 00:59:33,760 Speaker 6: I say, you know, I did listen to Devil's outgate 1432 00:59:33,800 --> 00:59:34,360 Speaker 6: first second. 1433 00:59:34,440 --> 00:59:36,480 Speaker 4: But I don't really agree with it. I don't think 1434 00:59:36,480 --> 00:59:37,240 Speaker 4: he should do that. 1435 00:59:37,360 --> 00:59:39,640 Speaker 6: I do think that he could just yeah, whatever, whatever 1436 00:59:39,680 --> 00:59:42,240 Speaker 6: you were supposed to contribute that whole time after the divorce, 1437 00:59:42,280 --> 00:59:43,000 Speaker 6: then just use. 1438 00:59:42,920 --> 00:59:43,600 Speaker 4: That for Hank. 1439 00:59:43,760 --> 00:59:44,520 Speaker 5: Yeah, agreed. 1440 00:59:44,600 --> 00:59:46,280 Speaker 4: Come on, man, So we've got some comments. 1441 00:59:46,320 --> 00:59:49,040 Speaker 6: So for what type of fund this is, we're answering 1442 00:59:49,120 --> 00:59:51,840 Speaker 6: that where I live, if the funds are unused due 1443 00:59:51,880 --> 00:59:55,040 Speaker 6: to scholarship, we can withdraw it and won't be penalized. 1444 00:59:55,520 --> 00:59:58,160 Speaker 6: And I am considering getting a master, so even if 1445 00:59:58,200 --> 01:00:00,520 Speaker 6: I didn't have to pay for the undergraduate I probably 1446 01:00:00,560 --> 01:00:02,480 Speaker 6: will need it for grad school. The fund is a 1447 01:00:02,520 --> 01:00:05,439 Speaker 6: state sponsored savings plan. Sorry, I can't give the actual 1448 01:00:05,520 --> 01:00:06,840 Speaker 6: name since it's very specific to. 1449 01:00:06,840 --> 01:00:07,360 Speaker 4: Where we live. 1450 01:00:07,680 --> 01:00:10,080 Speaker 6: That's interesting, though, I didn't realize that the state could 1451 01:00:10,080 --> 01:00:11,680 Speaker 6: be involved in that. Oh yeah, now this is from 1452 01:00:11,760 --> 01:00:14,360 Speaker 6: a common term, not the a hole at all. Where 1453 01:00:14,360 --> 01:00:16,720 Speaker 6: does your father get the idea that he set up 1454 01:00:16,760 --> 01:00:19,760 Speaker 6: this fund when it was your grandparents on your mom's side? 1455 01:00:19,800 --> 01:00:20,000 Speaker 4: Yep? 1456 01:00:20,080 --> 01:00:24,360 Speaker 6: Do his family members know the whole story? Ooh Op responds, Yeah. 1457 01:00:24,560 --> 01:00:27,640 Speaker 6: The man's delusion is out of this world. His audacity 1458 01:00:27,760 --> 01:00:32,160 Speaker 6: is truly unmatched. My paternal grandparents know and support us. 1459 01:00:32,360 --> 01:00:35,280 Speaker 6: Oh okay, so his okay father's it's. 1460 01:00:35,160 --> 01:00:36,840 Speaker 5: Like his mom and the paternal grandparents. 1461 01:00:36,960 --> 01:00:38,000 Speaker 4: Yes, yes, I know. 1462 01:00:38,200 --> 01:00:40,640 Speaker 6: My grandma has been trying to get him to back off, 1463 01:00:40,680 --> 01:00:43,440 Speaker 6: but he unfortunately doesn't listen to her. It's mainly my 1464 01:00:43,520 --> 01:00:46,080 Speaker 6: dad's brothers who are joining him to harass my mom. 1465 01:00:46,240 --> 01:00:48,400 Speaker 6: I don't know if they know the full story or not. 1466 01:00:48,640 --> 01:00:51,880 Speaker 6: Since Grandma and Grandpa know, I feel like they do too. 1467 01:00:52,120 --> 01:00:54,040 Speaker 6: And now we have an update. But before we do, do 1468 01:00:53,880 --> 01:00:54,640 Speaker 6: you have any thoughts? 1469 01:00:54,680 --> 01:00:58,160 Speaker 5: This man is illusional and I am totally against him 1470 01:00:58,160 --> 01:00:58,840 Speaker 5: getting any money. 1471 01:00:58,960 --> 01:01:01,360 Speaker 4: Yep, I'm glad that he's the only one on his side. 1472 01:01:01,440 --> 01:01:02,400 Speaker 4: Let's see the update though. 1473 01:01:02,440 --> 01:01:05,800 Speaker 6: Thank you so much for everyone for the support and advices. 1474 01:01:05,920 --> 01:01:07,120 Speaker 1: I really appreciate it. 1475 01:01:07,160 --> 01:01:08,880 Speaker 6: I talked to my mom this morning about getting the 1476 01:01:08,960 --> 01:01:14,880 Speaker 6: lawyer involved and also about potential restraining order. Whoa Stev WHOA. 1477 01:01:15,080 --> 01:01:17,880 Speaker 6: She has been talking to the lawyer about Dad's demands 1478 01:01:17,920 --> 01:01:19,919 Speaker 6: and it looks like he really doesn't have any rights 1479 01:01:19,920 --> 01:01:20,160 Speaker 6: to it. 1480 01:01:20,200 --> 01:01:21,360 Speaker 4: Boom, there we go. 1481 01:01:21,840 --> 01:01:24,280 Speaker 6: I think some of you are correct that he is 1482 01:01:24,320 --> 01:01:26,800 Speaker 6: doing all of this because he knows he won't win 1483 01:01:26,960 --> 01:01:27,440 Speaker 6: in court. 1484 01:01:27,560 --> 01:01:29,520 Speaker 4: There we go as for a restraining order. 1485 01:01:29,680 --> 01:01:31,840 Speaker 6: My mom is hesitant to do it right now since 1486 01:01:31,880 --> 01:01:34,480 Speaker 6: the dad has visitation rights with Sophia and she doesn't 1487 01:01:34,480 --> 01:01:36,440 Speaker 6: want to make it too complicated for my sister, but 1488 01:01:36,640 --> 01:01:39,360 Speaker 6: she promised me that if things get worse, she will 1489 01:01:39,400 --> 01:01:41,920 Speaker 6: get one. My brother Connor and I also talked and 1490 01:01:41,920 --> 01:01:44,280 Speaker 6: we will be making turns coming home for the weekend 1491 01:01:44,400 --> 01:01:46,760 Speaker 6: so Mom and Sofia won't be alone. 1492 01:01:46,360 --> 01:01:49,120 Speaker 4: Just in case anything happens. And now some clarifications. 1493 01:01:49,680 --> 01:01:53,400 Speaker 6: We haven't involved Mom's parents since their health aren't the 1494 01:01:53,440 --> 01:01:55,840 Speaker 6: best right now. Grandpa was really shocked when you heard 1495 01:01:55,840 --> 01:01:57,800 Speaker 6: about the cheating and secret son of the dad that 1496 01:01:57,880 --> 01:02:01,360 Speaker 6: he had a heart attack, but thank god he is 1497 01:02:01,480 --> 01:02:05,440 Speaker 6: mostly recovered now hopefully none of us, or however, none 1498 01:02:05,480 --> 01:02:05,920 Speaker 6: of us. 1499 01:02:05,760 --> 01:02:07,400 Speaker 1: Want to put any more stress on him. 1500 01:02:07,720 --> 01:02:11,280 Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, that is insane, my gosh. 1501 01:02:11,360 --> 01:02:13,040 Speaker 6: But you know what can take the stress off of 1502 01:02:13,120 --> 01:02:15,720 Speaker 6: you is by joining us live every week day three 1503 01:02:15,760 --> 01:02:16,440 Speaker 6: pm PST. 1504 01:02:16,840 --> 01:02:17,720 Speaker 1: Just top our profile. 1505 01:02:17,800 --> 01:02:21,760 Speaker 5: That's my girl, our profile. You see that segue. Dude, 1506 01:02:21,760 --> 01:02:22,640 Speaker 5: he got a heart attack. 1507 01:02:22,800 --> 01:02:24,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, I had a heart attack. There's still more to 1508 01:02:24,440 --> 01:02:25,760 Speaker 4: the story, but I. 1509 01:02:25,800 --> 01:02:27,919 Speaker 5: In this case, i'd probably like anything the mom says 1510 01:02:28,000 --> 01:02:30,520 Speaker 5: goes with their decisions on the other parents, Like like, 1511 01:02:30,600 --> 01:02:33,480 Speaker 5: if you've all the grandparents anymore, they're gonna get stressed out. 1512 01:02:33,520 --> 01:02:34,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. 1513 01:02:34,040 --> 01:02:35,960 Speaker 5: I would say the worst is gone, but it's not 1514 01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:38,280 Speaker 5: because they're getting a restraining order on the dad now. 1515 01:02:38,600 --> 01:02:42,120 Speaker 6: Yeah, so it's probably like it's probably pretty crazy, I think, 1516 01:02:42,200 --> 01:02:45,760 Speaker 6: especially too, since the maternal grandparents are paying for it, 1517 01:02:45,800 --> 01:02:47,520 Speaker 6: so they have a little more say. 1518 01:02:47,320 --> 01:02:48,200 Speaker 1: In this whole situation. 1519 01:02:48,440 --> 01:02:51,280 Speaker 4: Luckily, though, we still have the paternal grandparents and they could. 1520 01:02:51,080 --> 01:02:51,440 Speaker 1: Talk to you. 1521 01:02:51,640 --> 01:02:54,800 Speaker 6: According to Dad, he never knew about Hank's existence until 1522 01:02:54,880 --> 01:02:55,800 Speaker 6: last year. 1523 01:02:55,760 --> 01:02:56,919 Speaker 1: When his mistress came back. 1524 01:02:56,920 --> 01:02:58,720 Speaker 4: Wow, so they've really only known about for a year. 1525 01:02:58,800 --> 01:02:59,320 Speaker 5: Holy cow. 1526 01:03:00,120 --> 01:03:03,160 Speaker 6: Nobody in our family knew, really until Dad brought Hank 1527 01:03:03,280 --> 01:03:05,160 Speaker 6: to a family event to break the. 1528 01:03:05,080 --> 01:03:05,760 Speaker 1: News to us. 1529 01:03:05,840 --> 01:03:07,160 Speaker 5: That's the best way to do it. 1530 01:03:07,520 --> 01:03:12,360 Speaker 6: Yeah, I guess he blindsided and humiliated my mom and 1531 01:03:12,400 --> 01:03:15,600 Speaker 6: it was the final straw for her. They divorced after that. 1532 01:03:15,760 --> 01:03:17,960 Speaker 6: Oh okay, so it's only been a year that they've divorced. 1533 01:03:18,640 --> 01:03:19,240 Speaker 1: Okay, gotcha. 1534 01:03:19,320 --> 01:03:22,280 Speaker 6: I honestly don't hate Hank, it's just that right now 1535 01:03:22,360 --> 01:03:25,200 Speaker 6: I can't imagine spending time with him. He's a minor still, 1536 01:03:25,240 --> 01:03:27,840 Speaker 6: so everything we'll have to involve either the father or 1537 01:03:27,840 --> 01:03:30,440 Speaker 6: his mother, and that is a no for me right now. 1538 01:03:30,480 --> 01:03:32,919 Speaker 6: Perhaps in the future things will be different, who knows. 1539 01:03:33,000 --> 01:03:36,160 Speaker 6: Hopefully things get resolved soon. Thank you again for the 1540 01:03:36,240 --> 01:03:38,280 Speaker 6: amazing advice and words of support. 1541 01:03:38,520 --> 01:03:40,320 Speaker 1: But that is the end of our story. 1542 01:03:40,560 --> 01:03:43,400 Speaker 5: Or Hank, Poor Hank, dude, he didn't ask for any 1543 01:03:43,440 --> 01:03:43,880 Speaker 5: of this. 1544 01:03:43,960 --> 01:03:44,560 Speaker 4: Really didn't. 1545 01:03:44,600 --> 01:03:45,800 Speaker 1: He's in such a mess. 1546 01:03:45,600 --> 01:03:46,800 Speaker 4: Right now, he really is. 1547 01:03:47,520 --> 01:03:49,600 Speaker 6: And the fact that, like you know, at least Op 1548 01:03:49,800 --> 01:03:51,880 Speaker 6: has like a good mom and like good people on 1549 01:03:51,880 --> 01:03:53,800 Speaker 6: that side. But Hank, I think it's really just like 1550 01:03:53,960 --> 01:03:57,720 Speaker 6: his grandparents that have a regular stable mind. 1551 01:03:58,000 --> 01:04:04,880 Speaker 5: Yeah too wee god wow, classic, Okay, storytime story Dassic one. Yeah, 1552 01:04:04,920 --> 01:04:05,560 Speaker 5: that's a good one. 1553 01:04:05,640 --> 01:04:06,800 Speaker 1: That is, like, that's a good one. 1554 01:04:06,840 --> 01:04:09,640 Speaker 4: Short and sweet, short and sweet, I mean not sweet. 1555 01:04:09,680 --> 01:04:12,880 Speaker 5: But hopefully get that get that restraining order going on, 1556 01:04:12,960 --> 01:04:15,320 Speaker 5: and in four years, hopefully you can hang out with Hank. 1557 01:04:15,480 --> 01:04:15,680 Speaker 1: Yeah. 1558 01:04:15,680 --> 01:04:18,000 Speaker 6: Honestly, I think it's so fair that it's like too 1559 01:04:18,000 --> 01:04:19,240 Speaker 6: weird to hang out with Hank right now. 1560 01:04:19,280 --> 01:04:20,479 Speaker 5: Yeah, so fair. 1561 01:04:20,720 --> 01:04:23,560 Speaker 4: So give it time. You're good, not your fault, not Hank. 1562 01:04:23,560 --> 01:04:25,800 Speaker 5: If I have a secret brother, I probably would because 1563 01:04:25,800 --> 01:04:27,680 Speaker 5: I'm they're twenty three. I'm twenty four now. Yeah, I 1564 01:04:27,720 --> 01:04:29,600 Speaker 5: probably like if I had a fourteen year old secret brother, 1565 01:04:29,680 --> 01:04:31,520 Speaker 5: probably send him a letter, be like, hey man, yeah, 1566 01:04:31,640 --> 01:04:34,880 Speaker 5: thinking about you, right, if you need anything non molnetarily 1567 01:04:35,160 --> 01:04:35,560 Speaker 5: let me know. 1568 01:04:35,800 --> 01:04:36,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, I get you. 1569 01:04:36,440 --> 01:04:38,360 Speaker 6: I think I would probably do something like that too. 1570 01:04:38,400 --> 01:04:41,080 Speaker 6: I would totally reach out and kind of excited, be cool. 1571 01:04:41,120 --> 01:04:41,280 Speaker 1: Yeah. 1572 01:04:41,320 --> 01:04:43,200 Speaker 6: I mean, I'm the youngest of my sibling, so I've 1573 01:04:43,200 --> 01:04:44,240 Speaker 6: never had a younger sibling. 1574 01:04:44,320 --> 01:04:45,439 Speaker 1: Oh wow, that'd be pretty cool. 1575 01:04:45,480 --> 01:04:48,720 Speaker 6: But I think the main thing is the relationship with 1576 01:04:48,760 --> 01:04:51,440 Speaker 6: the parents and how that surrounds it. If my relationship 1577 01:04:51,480 --> 01:04:53,760 Speaker 6: with my parents was like not like that and it's 1578 01:04:53,880 --> 01:04:58,360 Speaker 6: it's not good, how it is love your dad, like, 1579 01:04:58,520 --> 01:05:01,400 Speaker 6: I think that would I might feel differently if I 1580 01:05:01,440 --> 01:05:02,920 Speaker 6: was in op specific situation. 1581 01:05:03,280 --> 01:05:04,240 Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, but. 1582 01:05:04,440 --> 01:05:06,560 Speaker 5: Pooh, so sord story. 1583 01:05:06,640 --> 01:05:10,040 Speaker 6: Yeah, so let's get into this next one. 1584 01:05:10,240 --> 01:05:14,080 Speaker 5: I had a massive collection of rocks and minerals, but 1585 01:05:14,200 --> 01:05:17,240 Speaker 5: my family sold everything. 1586 01:05:17,080 --> 01:05:19,760 Speaker 6: Sold everything, not your pet rock. I think of those 1587 01:05:19,760 --> 01:05:21,520 Speaker 6: pet rocks in like twenty. 1588 01:05:21,240 --> 01:05:22,479 Speaker 4: Ten, anyone else. 1589 01:05:22,880 --> 01:05:26,320 Speaker 5: Let's grow. I'm a college freshman and I'm currently visiting 1590 01:05:26,320 --> 01:05:28,320 Speaker 5: my mom over a break. When I got there, I 1591 01:05:28,360 --> 01:05:30,680 Speaker 5: saw a crystal that was in my old room on 1592 01:05:30,800 --> 01:05:33,680 Speaker 5: display and asked about it. My mom then told me 1593 01:05:33,800 --> 01:05:37,840 Speaker 5: that the rest was gone after the art. So did 1594 01:05:37,840 --> 01:05:40,520 Speaker 5: it go? By the way, this comes from Pebble one 1595 01:05:40,360 --> 01:05:42,520 Speaker 5: one on the R size. Okay story, Tom subret it. 1596 01:05:42,560 --> 01:05:45,600 Speaker 5: So for context, my parents were moving the same time 1597 01:05:45,640 --> 01:05:47,560 Speaker 5: I was getting ready for college, so the house was 1598 01:05:47,600 --> 01:05:50,800 Speaker 5: in total chaos. Basically, I had a rock collection that 1599 01:05:50,880 --> 01:05:54,520 Speaker 5: I had been growing for around ten years and had 1600 01:05:54,600 --> 01:05:57,760 Speaker 5: cost me over one thousand dollars. 1601 01:05:58,160 --> 01:06:01,200 Speaker 6: Honestly, kind of impressed that dated to one thousand. Really 1602 01:06:01,240 --> 01:06:03,360 Speaker 6: ten years for any sort of collection, that seems like 1603 01:06:03,400 --> 01:06:04,040 Speaker 6: a cos war. 1604 01:06:04,800 --> 01:06:06,480 Speaker 5: I'm probably I know how you spend, I know how 1605 01:06:06,520 --> 01:06:07,560 Speaker 5: you spend well. 1606 01:06:07,640 --> 01:06:10,400 Speaker 6: I probably spent more than thousand dollars on fabric alone. 1607 01:06:10,520 --> 01:06:12,200 Speaker 4: On my collection of fabrics anyway. 1608 01:06:12,280 --> 01:06:15,080 Speaker 5: Some were gifts from old friends or family. Some I 1609 01:06:15,120 --> 01:06:18,520 Speaker 5: had found in special destinations and significance. Yeah, just do that. 1610 01:06:18,520 --> 01:06:21,320 Speaker 5: That makes sense, and all of them were important to me. 1611 01:06:21,480 --> 01:06:24,640 Speaker 5: Since the collection took up to two cabinets, I knew 1612 01:06:24,680 --> 01:06:26,640 Speaker 5: I couldn't take it to my dorm room and decided 1613 01:06:26,680 --> 01:06:29,200 Speaker 5: to pack them up. My brother also likes rocks, so 1614 01:06:29,280 --> 01:06:31,280 Speaker 5: I thought he could be a good fit to look 1615 01:06:31,320 --> 01:06:33,200 Speaker 5: after them while I couldn't, or at least I decorate 1616 01:06:33,280 --> 01:06:35,920 Speaker 5: my room. When my parents bought a house, apparently, my 1617 01:06:35,920 --> 01:06:38,120 Speaker 5: brother picked through the boxes and told my mother to 1618 01:06:38,160 --> 01:06:40,680 Speaker 5: sell everything he didn't want to keep. My aunt and 1619 01:06:40,720 --> 01:06:43,640 Speaker 5: mother took a few each as they liked, but hundreds 1620 01:06:43,680 --> 01:06:46,760 Speaker 5: of rocks were either donated or sold, with none of 1621 01:06:46,760 --> 01:06:49,400 Speaker 5: the profit going to me without my knowledge. 1622 01:06:49,480 --> 01:06:51,880 Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, no profit. 1623 01:06:52,200 --> 01:06:54,960 Speaker 5: When I learned this, I broke down in tears. I 1624 01:06:55,000 --> 01:06:57,240 Speaker 5: know they're just rocks, but they brought me a lot 1625 01:06:57,280 --> 01:07:00,160 Speaker 5: of happiness, and I can't believe they're just gone. This 1626 01:07:00,200 --> 01:07:03,000 Speaker 5: out makes me cry again. My mother feels really sorry, 1627 01:07:03,080 --> 01:07:06,520 Speaker 5: and I don't blame anyone for this, but I'm crushed. Man, dude, 1628 01:07:06,520 --> 01:07:09,160 Speaker 5: you just hit rock bottom. How do I deal with 1629 01:07:09,240 --> 01:07:11,960 Speaker 5: this loss and not take it out on my family? 1630 01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:14,240 Speaker 5: I'm not mad at anyone. I just wish i'd explain 1631 01:07:14,360 --> 01:07:16,560 Speaker 5: better or something. And I don't want any of my 1632 01:07:16,640 --> 01:07:19,000 Speaker 5: family to think I'm angry at them. We haven't had it. 1633 01:07:19,720 --> 01:07:21,920 Speaker 4: That's so sad, feel so bad. 1634 01:07:22,160 --> 01:07:24,880 Speaker 6: Ope, he's being so nice about this too, saying that 1635 01:07:25,080 --> 01:07:27,400 Speaker 6: they can't blame anyone. I of feel like you can 1636 01:07:27,760 --> 01:07:31,640 Speaker 6: you can blame the brother maybe, Yeah, selling that without 1637 01:07:31,640 --> 01:07:34,080 Speaker 6: your knowledge and none of the money is going to you, 1638 01:07:34,320 --> 01:07:35,720 Speaker 6: I think you can be mad about that. 1639 01:07:35,760 --> 01:07:36,800 Speaker 4: I think that's totally laughing. 1640 01:07:37,320 --> 01:07:40,320 Speaker 5: And if you really want to scorch earth sue, sure 1641 01:07:40,480 --> 01:07:43,040 Speaker 5: that's a thousand bucks back. You know, you could not 1642 01:07:43,160 --> 01:07:45,000 Speaker 5: be angry at everyone if you get a thousand bucks 1643 01:07:45,000 --> 01:07:46,320 Speaker 5: out of it. But those are memories. 1644 01:07:46,520 --> 01:07:50,480 Speaker 6: Yeah, No, that's definitely hard. Ten years and partying with 1645 01:07:50,520 --> 01:07:51,760 Speaker 6: that stuff, that sounds really hard. 1646 01:07:51,840 --> 01:07:53,800 Speaker 5: I wish I had a friend that really liked rocks, 1647 01:07:53,800 --> 01:07:55,560 Speaker 5: because every time with their birthday, I just give them 1648 01:07:55,560 --> 01:07:55,880 Speaker 5: a rock. 1649 01:07:55,920 --> 01:07:57,920 Speaker 1: I just been so easy. You know exactly what they want. 1650 01:07:58,080 --> 01:07:59,280 Speaker 5: Yeah, boom, there's a rock. 1651 01:07:59,440 --> 01:08:01,640 Speaker 4: Yeah, and it'd be easy to make it memorable too, 1652 01:08:01,840 --> 01:08:03,400 Speaker 4: Like this is a rock from when we did this. 1653 01:08:03,680 --> 01:08:04,840 Speaker 4: I knew you'd really like it, and. 1654 01:08:04,840 --> 01:08:07,160 Speaker 5: It's literally just the one that you picked up the 1655 01:08:07,200 --> 01:08:10,120 Speaker 5: side of the road before you got us. That's what 1656 01:08:10,120 --> 01:08:10,560 Speaker 5: I would do. 1657 01:08:10,640 --> 01:08:11,840 Speaker 1: Anyway, let's get back a edit. 1658 01:08:11,960 --> 01:08:14,480 Speaker 5: My family didn't mean to still, they just assumed I 1659 01:08:14,560 --> 01:08:17,880 Speaker 5: was giving them away. It wasn't necessarily malicious, but it 1660 01:08:17,960 --> 01:08:20,599 Speaker 5: was definitely wrong. Also, I think the reason I'm struggling 1661 01:08:20,600 --> 01:08:22,360 Speaker 5: to be mad is because me and my mom have 1662 01:08:22,439 --> 01:08:25,000 Speaker 5: a really good relationship. She's the person I can always 1663 01:08:25,000 --> 01:08:28,320 Speaker 5: rely on. I'm really hoping the situation is the misunderstanding 1664 01:08:28,439 --> 01:08:31,599 Speaker 5: I see as it is. Thank you for all your replies. 1665 01:08:31,800 --> 01:08:34,599 Speaker 5: I haven't had anyone talk to about this all days, 1666 01:08:34,600 --> 01:08:36,840 Speaker 5: since my friends are all busy and the other people 1667 01:08:36,840 --> 01:08:39,280 Speaker 5: around me are my family at it too. My parents 1668 01:08:39,280 --> 01:08:41,439 Speaker 5: are well off, so I don't think they sold them 1669 01:08:41,479 --> 01:08:44,200 Speaker 5: for the money. Any money made was probably put into 1670 01:08:44,240 --> 01:08:46,960 Speaker 5: household funds, and I doubt they made one thousand dollars 1671 01:08:47,000 --> 01:08:50,160 Speaker 5: off the items. That's just how much I've estimated I've spent. 1672 01:08:50,240 --> 01:08:53,200 Speaker 5: I would feel very guilty to ask them for that much, 1673 01:08:53,280 --> 01:08:55,639 Speaker 5: especially since they are paying for my college. So I'm 1674 01:08:55,720 --> 01:08:59,559 Speaker 5: thinking about maybe asking them to buy something of equivalent value, 1675 01:08:59,840 --> 01:09:01,679 Speaker 5: and the little rocks for a big rock. 1676 01:09:01,800 --> 01:09:03,040 Speaker 4: There's one big rock. 1677 01:09:03,000 --> 01:09:05,839 Speaker 5: One big rock. I've never had to bargain with my parents, 1678 01:09:05,840 --> 01:09:07,599 Speaker 5: so I'm not sure how this will go down. I'm 1679 01:09:07,600 --> 01:09:09,760 Speaker 5: going to talk to them tonight since my dad is 1680 01:09:09,800 --> 01:09:12,000 Speaker 5: here now. I'm going to take the advice of riding 1681 01:09:12,040 --> 01:09:14,080 Speaker 5: something out to each to them. All the people saying 1682 01:09:14,120 --> 01:09:16,760 Speaker 5: I'm a pushover or one hundred percent correct, but I'm 1683 01:09:16,800 --> 01:09:19,160 Speaker 5: going to try not to when I talk to them, 1684 01:09:19,200 --> 01:09:23,000 Speaker 5: and we have an update of him talking to the parents. 1685 01:09:22,680 --> 01:09:24,680 Speaker 1: Go, Okay, I think it will I. 1686 01:09:24,600 --> 01:09:26,320 Speaker 5: Think they'll be I think everyone will be sad. 1687 01:09:26,600 --> 01:09:30,840 Speaker 6: Yeah, I just I see myself in Ope in a way, 1688 01:09:31,040 --> 01:09:34,280 Speaker 6: the people pleasing part of me. I totally see that 1689 01:09:34,360 --> 01:09:37,439 Speaker 6: I have. I've learned to let myself get angry. You know, 1690 01:09:37,520 --> 01:09:39,439 Speaker 6: I think like it's probably the kind of thing where 1691 01:09:39,479 --> 01:09:41,760 Speaker 6: it's like, you know, you do understand the situation, and 1692 01:09:41,800 --> 01:09:43,439 Speaker 6: you know it's no one's fault, but you're still mad 1693 01:09:43,479 --> 01:09:45,519 Speaker 6: about it. And because you know no one's fault, you 1694 01:09:45,520 --> 01:09:47,439 Speaker 6: feel like you can't be mad at them, but let 1695 01:09:47,520 --> 01:09:49,920 Speaker 6: yourself be a little upset. Yeah, take some time away 1696 01:09:49,920 --> 01:09:51,599 Speaker 6: from these people, come back to it. 1697 01:09:51,520 --> 01:09:52,799 Speaker 1: When you're a little more settled. 1698 01:09:52,840 --> 01:09:55,920 Speaker 5: That's true, you know that's true. But I think I'm also, yeah, 1699 01:09:56,080 --> 01:09:58,400 Speaker 5: having a hard time that you have like two cabinets 1700 01:09:58,400 --> 01:10:01,519 Speaker 5: full of rocks and you found on them. You don't ask, oh, 1701 01:10:01,560 --> 01:10:03,479 Speaker 5: what should we do with them? Just sell them? You 1702 01:10:03,520 --> 01:10:04,240 Speaker 5: just get rid of them. 1703 01:10:04,920 --> 01:10:06,519 Speaker 4: Yeah, because I guess how did. 1704 01:10:06,400 --> 01:10:08,160 Speaker 5: The parents not know that he had a collection of 1705 01:10:08,200 --> 01:10:10,479 Speaker 5: the stuff? Well he did, Because why do they still 1706 01:10:10,880 --> 01:10:13,519 Speaker 5: go over. Do we know gender I'm saying, I think 1707 01:10:13,600 --> 01:10:14,240 Speaker 5: mal okay. 1708 01:10:14,240 --> 01:10:14,439 Speaker 1: OP. 1709 01:10:14,439 --> 01:10:16,120 Speaker 6: He was saying that they were moving away to college 1710 01:10:16,280 --> 01:10:18,960 Speaker 6: and that the brother could have like whatever he wanted. 1711 01:10:19,000 --> 01:10:21,680 Speaker 5: The brother was looking after the rock collections for him. 1712 01:10:21,760 --> 01:10:24,320 Speaker 6: Yes, yes, that's what that's what OP he was hoping for. 1713 01:10:24,400 --> 01:10:26,080 Speaker 6: I think the misunderstanding. 1714 01:10:26,080 --> 01:10:26,240 Speaker 1: OP. 1715 01:10:26,280 --> 01:10:29,040 Speaker 6: He was saying that the family thought that since the 1716 01:10:29,120 --> 01:10:31,720 Speaker 6: brother could have whatever he wanted and OP, he wasn't 1717 01:10:31,760 --> 01:10:34,800 Speaker 6: taking all the rocks with them, then they assumed that 1718 01:10:34,840 --> 01:10:35,160 Speaker 6: they were. 1719 01:10:35,240 --> 01:10:37,120 Speaker 4: He was just getting rid of all of them and 1720 01:10:37,160 --> 01:10:38,080 Speaker 4: seeing what the brother wanted. 1721 01:10:38,160 --> 01:10:41,040 Speaker 5: First he gave the rocks to the brother to look after, 1722 01:10:41,280 --> 01:10:43,320 Speaker 5: and then some for some reason, the brother was like, 1723 01:10:43,439 --> 01:10:45,519 Speaker 5: you can sell everything. We don't want any I don't 1724 01:10:45,520 --> 01:10:46,080 Speaker 5: wantnything to do with it. 1725 01:10:46,160 --> 01:10:47,519 Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like you'd be mad at the brother. 1726 01:10:47,640 --> 01:10:50,080 Speaker 4: He's peasy, there's your person. 1727 01:10:50,560 --> 01:10:52,800 Speaker 5: It's just one of those things. Yeah, that's what your 1728 01:10:52,880 --> 01:10:53,559 Speaker 5: dad says. 1729 01:10:53,400 --> 01:10:55,280 Speaker 1: One of those things. Yeah, you're right. 1730 01:10:55,400 --> 01:10:57,679 Speaker 5: Here's the update. I just talked with my parents and 1731 01:10:57,840 --> 01:11:00,760 Speaker 5: I use kind of a long speech and included some 1732 01:11:00,840 --> 01:11:04,040 Speaker 5: specific memories I had connected to the rocks and asked 1733 01:11:04,080 --> 01:11:07,080 Speaker 5: to be compensated financially for the loss. I was crying 1734 01:11:07,120 --> 01:11:09,120 Speaker 5: the whole time, so I'm not sure how much of 1735 01:11:09,160 --> 01:11:12,360 Speaker 5: it they understood. Surprisingly, they are completely willing to pay 1736 01:11:12,400 --> 01:11:14,679 Speaker 5: me back for it, and my parents were both completely 1737 01:11:14,720 --> 01:11:16,519 Speaker 5: sorry and admitted it was their faults. 1738 01:11:16,560 --> 01:11:18,479 Speaker 4: Wow, that's so good. 1739 01:11:19,000 --> 01:11:21,280 Speaker 5: It's crazy. I didn't know like parents could have some 1740 01:11:21,600 --> 01:11:25,080 Speaker 5: sense in this on this platform, right. They told me 1741 01:11:25,240 --> 01:11:27,839 Speaker 5: that they were surprised that I didn't want the rocks, 1742 01:11:27,880 --> 01:11:30,360 Speaker 5: but at the same time I was giving away other 1743 01:11:30,400 --> 01:11:33,320 Speaker 5: sensible things like stuffed animals that they thought that I 1744 01:11:33,439 --> 01:11:36,000 Speaker 5: would have kept. Because of this, they didn't think to 1745 01:11:36,080 --> 01:11:38,559 Speaker 5: call me to confirm since the times they had with 1746 01:11:38,640 --> 01:11:41,439 Speaker 5: other things I had agreed. They said they are going 1747 01:11:41,520 --> 01:11:44,080 Speaker 5: to get everything back from my aunt and brother. My 1748 01:11:44,120 --> 01:11:46,960 Speaker 5: mom has already rounded up what she took, and they 1749 01:11:47,000 --> 01:11:49,720 Speaker 5: want to take me rock shopping the rest of the 1750 01:11:49,720 --> 01:11:51,439 Speaker 5: weekend I have with them together. 1751 01:11:51,840 --> 01:11:53,439 Speaker 4: Oh that's so sweet. 1752 01:11:53,560 --> 01:11:56,519 Speaker 5: That's super sweet. Wow, just some rocks to take to college. 1753 01:11:56,720 --> 01:11:59,040 Speaker 5: That's really really, that's a cute. Maybe there's going to 1754 01:11:59,080 --> 01:12:01,920 Speaker 5: be a geologist one. Maybe this has been such a 1755 01:12:02,000 --> 01:12:04,320 Speaker 5: chaotic day for me and I have never expected so 1756 01:12:04,400 --> 01:12:06,760 Speaker 5: many people to reach out for those suggestions that I 1757 01:12:06,800 --> 01:12:09,200 Speaker 5: am looking into therapy good because of Rocks. 1758 01:12:09,400 --> 01:12:11,799 Speaker 4: I yeah, I feel like that's okay because. 1759 01:12:11,560 --> 01:12:15,920 Speaker 5: You were Rocker, Opie. I think that my issues with 1760 01:12:16,000 --> 01:12:20,320 Speaker 5: confrontation and social pressure in general warrant some professional help. 1761 01:12:20,439 --> 01:12:20,719 Speaker 1: Yep. 1762 01:12:20,800 --> 01:12:23,240 Speaker 5: My dad actually notes that he was proud of me 1763 01:12:23,360 --> 01:12:25,000 Speaker 5: for bringing it up to them the way I did 1764 01:12:25,160 --> 01:12:27,760 Speaker 5: all I'm going to be a combination of mad and 1765 01:12:27,800 --> 01:12:30,519 Speaker 5: sad for a while, but now it isn't stuck inside 1766 01:12:30,520 --> 01:12:32,479 Speaker 5: of me. Thank you for everyone for pushing me to 1767 01:12:32,479 --> 01:12:34,760 Speaker 5: talk to them up front. I probably wouldn't have done 1768 01:12:34,800 --> 01:12:37,559 Speaker 5: it without your helps. Relevant comments. Trey Botch says that 1769 01:12:37,600 --> 01:12:39,800 Speaker 5: they still from you then sold these stolen goods. They 1770 01:12:39,800 --> 01:12:41,960 Speaker 5: have given you the proceeds of the cell. I'd say 1771 01:12:41,960 --> 01:12:45,680 Speaker 5: in your opinion of them not bad people is wildly incorrect. 1772 01:12:45,720 --> 01:12:48,479 Speaker 5: Only bad people still from the child. This person, oh man. 1773 01:12:48,439 --> 01:12:50,280 Speaker 4: This person has been on Reddit for a while. 1774 01:12:50,720 --> 01:12:53,040 Speaker 5: This person has hurt. This person needs therapy too. One 1775 01:12:53,040 --> 01:12:55,599 Speaker 5: more comment, Black Stars Blue says you should blame them. 1776 01:12:55,800 --> 01:12:58,640 Speaker 5: They don't have phones and FaceTime. Nobody called you to 1777 01:12:58,680 --> 01:13:02,400 Speaker 5: ask anything. Your family is incredibly inconsiderate and I'm sorry 1778 01:13:02,439 --> 01:13:05,360 Speaker 5: your collection was destroyed. Op He says, this is honestly 1779 01:13:05,400 --> 01:13:07,240 Speaker 5: the part that hurts me the most. To me, it 1780 01:13:07,240 --> 01:13:09,280 Speaker 5: would have taken like two minutes to call me, and 1781 01:13:09,400 --> 01:13:12,519 Speaker 5: my parents have taken me to go buy rocks countless time, 1782 01:13:12,640 --> 01:13:14,519 Speaker 5: so I don't understand why they didn't think the second 1783 01:13:14,640 --> 01:13:16,960 Speaker 5: check sad face emoji opie. My parents thought I was 1784 01:13:16,960 --> 01:13:19,479 Speaker 5: giving them away, so they weren't trying to steal for me. 1785 01:13:19,560 --> 01:13:21,680 Speaker 5: It really doesn't change how hurt I am, but it 1786 01:13:21,720 --> 01:13:24,320 Speaker 5: makes me feel bad to have them for it. I'm 1787 01:13:24,320 --> 01:13:28,120 Speaker 5: starting to feel like I'm underreacting, but I'm really conflicted 1788 01:13:28,200 --> 01:13:31,160 Speaker 5: since they provided for me and everything, which I know 1789 01:13:31,360 --> 01:13:34,759 Speaker 5: doesn't justify anything, but still Bubblegum Crash says it's okay 1790 01:13:34,760 --> 01:13:36,720 Speaker 5: to be mad, and said, have you had a conversation 1791 01:13:36,760 --> 01:13:38,559 Speaker 5: with your brother to let him know that you meant 1792 01:13:38,640 --> 01:13:40,639 Speaker 5: for him to look after them, so I just enjoy them, 1793 01:13:40,640 --> 01:13:42,599 Speaker 5: not that they were his to give away. Let him 1794 01:13:42,600 --> 01:13:45,280 Speaker 5: know you're sorry you weren't more clear that that was 1795 01:13:45,360 --> 01:13:47,680 Speaker 5: the case, but that you're upset about it and that 1796 01:13:47,800 --> 01:13:49,599 Speaker 5: it's going to take some time for you to get 1797 01:13:49,600 --> 01:13:52,559 Speaker 5: over your parents too. I know that in the scheme 1798 01:13:52,600 --> 01:13:54,559 Speaker 5: of things is rocks. I had a lot of memory 1799 01:13:54,600 --> 01:13:56,880 Speaker 5: in my collection. I am just going to be a 1800 01:13:56,920 --> 01:13:59,400 Speaker 5: little sad and a little mad that they're gone. I 1801 01:13:59,479 --> 01:14:02,680 Speaker 5: know it's anyone's fault, and I'm not blaming anyone when 1802 01:14:02,760 --> 01:14:04,639 Speaker 5: it's not so raw. Maybe see if your family will 1803 01:14:04,640 --> 01:14:06,360 Speaker 5: be willing to go with you to get a few 1804 01:14:06,400 --> 01:14:09,479 Speaker 5: new rocks that are tied to new memories or left friends. 1805 01:14:09,520 --> 01:14:12,559 Speaker 5: Know you're rebuilding your collection slowly so you can keep 1806 01:14:12,600 --> 01:14:14,720 Speaker 5: them with you. OPI thank you for your reply, for 1807 01:14:14,800 --> 01:14:17,640 Speaker 5: understanding they really aren't evil people, and you're correct that 1808 01:14:17,720 --> 01:14:21,320 Speaker 5: it's a misunderstanding. Some part's my fault, some parts of theirs. 1809 01:14:21,479 --> 01:14:23,680 Speaker 5: I'm going to use your response when I talk to them. 1810 01:14:23,720 --> 01:14:26,040 Speaker 5: I struggle with confrontation, so if I don't have a plan, 1811 01:14:26,240 --> 01:14:28,639 Speaker 5: I probably won't be clear. And you can be clear 1812 01:14:28,760 --> 01:14:30,920 Speaker 5: as they with us every week day at three PMPST. 1813 01:14:31,040 --> 01:14:33,960 Speaker 5: Just tap our profile, Just tap it, and we have 1814 01:14:34,000 --> 01:14:36,519 Speaker 5: one more rather comment. This is sweet. I love this. 1815 01:14:36,520 --> 01:14:37,280 Speaker 1: This is sweet. 1816 01:14:37,360 --> 01:14:41,759 Speaker 6: I think some people on Reddit are expecting Reddit type stories, yeah, 1817 01:14:41,840 --> 01:14:43,080 Speaker 6: where the worst. 1818 01:14:43,000 --> 01:14:45,559 Speaker 1: Happens, But I think this is a really sweet story. 1819 01:14:45,640 --> 01:14:48,360 Speaker 5: Yep. Yeah, and as Andrew Dad says, at least we 1820 01:14:48,439 --> 01:14:49,320 Speaker 5: know the Rockers. 1821 01:14:50,439 --> 01:14:53,320 Speaker 6: That's funny. Yeah, it seems like it. It seems like all 1822 01:14:53,400 --> 01:14:55,959 Speaker 6: that stuff was kind of addressed and resolved. 1823 01:14:56,160 --> 01:14:59,479 Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, but everything's good now you got new rocks happening. 1824 01:14:59,680 --> 01:15:01,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, going to find more rocks. That's so nice. 1825 01:15:01,840 --> 01:15:05,400 Speaker 5: Hopefully we get a rocking update one day. Yeah. 1826 01:15:05,520 --> 01:15:08,679 Speaker 4: Yeah. That's it. That's it. That's stand with out story. 1827 01:15:08,800 --> 01:15:10,800 Speaker 5: So if you love us, make sure to subscribe. 1828 01:15:10,880 --> 01:15:13,240 Speaker 4: We love you and see you tomorrow.