1
00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,400
Speaker 1: We're still operating the same time construct as people did

2
00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:06,160
Speaker 1: fifty years ago, one hundred years ago, two hundred years ago.

3
00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:09,040
Speaker 1: That is insane. I have three eight hour days in

4
00:00:09,039 --> 00:00:10,760
Speaker 1: a day. I get twenty one days in a week.

5
00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:13,440
Speaker 2: His dream was to be a professional baseball player. He's

6
00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:15,680
Speaker 2: an entrepreneur, a flangerbiz podcast host.

7
00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:18,800
Speaker 1: Today, he's recognized as one of the premier business leaders

8
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:22,079
Speaker 1: in the world at my letter, your identity isn't your career.

9
00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:25,040
Speaker 1: It's not your identity. It's a very dangerous way to

10
00:00:25,079 --> 00:00:27,880
Speaker 1: live your life. It's a hack to confidence. Nobody talks about,

11
00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:30,200
Speaker 1: is Jay. This is an all time great conversation.

12
00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:33,120
Speaker 2: Right before we jump into this episode, I'd like to

13
00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:36,440
Speaker 2: invite you to join this community to hear more interviews

14
00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:40,000
Speaker 2: that will help you become happier, healthier, and more healed.

15
00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:42,040
Speaker 2: All I want you to do is click on the

16
00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:45,400
Speaker 2: subscribe button. I love your support. It's incredible to see

17
00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:48,480
Speaker 2: all your comments and we're just getting started. I can't

18
00:00:48,479 --> 00:00:50,559
Speaker 2: wait to go on this journey with you. Thank you

19
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,760
Speaker 2: so much for subscribing. It means the world to me.

20
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,360
Speaker 1: The number one health and well in the podcast, Jay Setty,

21
00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:57,400
Speaker 1: Jay Sheetty.

22
00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:04,720
Speaker 2: Set Hey, everyone, welcome back to on Purpose, the number

23
00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:07,880
Speaker 2: one place that you come to listen, learn and grow.

24
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:11,200
Speaker 2: Today's guest is one of your favorites, someone that I

25
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:13,920
Speaker 2: love to sit down with, a dear friend of mine

26
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:17,000
Speaker 2: who we always seem to connect on a frequency and

27
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:20,000
Speaker 2: vibration level like no other. I know you're going to

28
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,640
Speaker 2: be excited because you've been asking for him to come

29
00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:25,920
Speaker 2: back on the show. Our guest today is ed my Let,

30
00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:30,440
Speaker 2: a highly successful entrepreneur who's blended his unique experiences with

31
00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:33,840
Speaker 2: a diverse set of practical strategies that have made him

32
00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:37,360
Speaker 2: one of the most sore after inspirational speakers in the

33
00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:40,520
Speaker 2: world today. Please welcome to the show, my dear friend

34
00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:41,920
Speaker 2: ed my Ed.

35
00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:44,240
Speaker 1: I love you brother. Great to be with you. I

36
00:01:44,319 --> 00:01:47,400
Speaker 1: last saw you in Dubai well speaking, so it's nice

37
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,320
Speaker 1: to be on us ur so fun.

38
00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:51,960
Speaker 2: You were so kind because my card in shop at

39
00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:54,440
Speaker 2: the airport and me and Edie were speaking of the

40
00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:56,240
Speaker 2: same event. We were staying at the same hotel because

41
00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,120
Speaker 2: he was organized, and so I said there and I

42
00:01:58,120 --> 00:01:59,440
Speaker 2: was like, do you mind if I just sit in

43
00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:02,600
Speaker 2: your car? And you were so kind, ready to jump it.

44
00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:05,040
Speaker 1: I get to have a half an hour with Jay Shetty,

45
00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:06,960
Speaker 1: Are you crazy? I'm going to take that time anytime

46
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:07,440
Speaker 1: I can do it.

47
00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:09,600
Speaker 2: I loved it, man. I was so glad we bumped

48
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:12,079
Speaker 2: into each other because I feel like every time we're together,

49
00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:14,560
Speaker 2: our hearts just open up greed, There's so much trust,

50
00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:16,720
Speaker 2: there's so much love. So thank you for coming back.

51
00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:19,120
Speaker 2: Like I said, the last episode we did together crushed

52
00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:21,919
Speaker 2: people loved it. You and I wanted to start with like,

53
00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:24,720
Speaker 2: you know, and I know I'm asking you this because

54
00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:27,320
Speaker 2: I know you'll give me a genuine, honest answer. But Ed,

55
00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:31,080
Speaker 2: You're so confident, You're so strong, you're powerful. But at

56
00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:33,440
Speaker 2: the same time, I know that you are going for

57
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:36,040
Speaker 2: your own healing journey, your own struggles, your own challenges,

58
00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:39,480
Speaker 2: like what what have you been working on inside?

59
00:02:39,639 --> 00:02:42,480
Speaker 1: Wow? What a great question. Thank you for that. I

60
00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:44,160
Speaker 1: have to say I told you off camera. I know

61
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:45,919
Speaker 1: if I don't say this, I won't feel right. You

62
00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:48,839
Speaker 1: have the most unique combination of confidence and humility about

63
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:51,240
Speaker 1: anybody I've ever met. Those are people I love the most.

64
00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:53,240
Speaker 1: I love being around confident people, but they have these

65
00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:57,320
Speaker 1: high doses of humility, which keeps them humble. It causes

66
00:02:57,360 --> 00:02:58,959
Speaker 1: them to still want to learn and grow. They don't

67
00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:00,960
Speaker 1: think they know everything. Those people last the longest in

68
00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:04,040
Speaker 1: business and in any endeavor. Same time, if somebody doesn't

69
00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:06,240
Speaker 1: have a lot of confidence, you feel like you're carrying

70
00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:08,680
Speaker 1: those folks your friends through life all the time. So

71
00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:10,200
Speaker 1: in my case, you know, I grew up as a

72
00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:12,680
Speaker 1: son of an alcoholic, and I think to some extent

73
00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:15,519
Speaker 1: there's these this wiring that happens when you're a child,

74
00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:18,080
Speaker 1: and so some of the wiring I've recently discovered. I

75
00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:21,040
Speaker 1: had Bert Kreischer, the comedian, on my podcast, and it

76
00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:22,639
Speaker 1: sort of came out of me when he was there.

77
00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:26,200
Speaker 1: Bert's a very well known drinker, and it's almost a

78
00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:28,919
Speaker 1: joke about how much that he drinks. And I asked him,

79
00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:31,600
Speaker 1: I said, Bert, what kind of a husband or father

80
00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:33,560
Speaker 1: do you think you are? And he said, I think

81
00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:35,400
Speaker 1: I'm a ten out of ten. And I think he is.

82
00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:37,120
Speaker 1: And I told him, I said, you know, I just

83
00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:40,000
Speaker 1: discovered something about myself brother, and it was that my

84
00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:43,200
Speaker 1: dad's drinking. It wasn't just that I was worried, you know,

85
00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:44,440
Speaker 1: is he going to get in a fight, is he

86
00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:46,680
Speaker 1: going to be mean? Or mom and dad in a disagreement.

87
00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:50,240
Speaker 1: I said, what happened. Was I worried about my dad?

88
00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:52,240
Speaker 1: Is he going to come home tonight? Is he safe?

89
00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:55,160
Speaker 1: Is he in danger? And that wired into me as

90
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:59,800
Speaker 1: a little boy, the neurology the pattern of worry and fear.

91
00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:02,640
Speaker 1: And so as I've gotten to be an older, grown man,

92
00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:04,760
Speaker 1: I've uncovered that the last year or two, I have

93
00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:07,200
Speaker 1: a pattern where I have a tendency my emotional home,

94
00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:09,840
Speaker 1: so to speak, as I go back to worry and fear,

95
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:11,840
Speaker 1: and I don't want to I don't want to live

96
00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:14,320
Speaker 1: that way, and so I've been working on unwiring that.

97
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,200
Speaker 1: That's the thing I've been working most on my healing

98
00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:19,520
Speaker 1: journey is you know, it's okay, Everything's going to be okay.

99
00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:23,000
Speaker 1: I'm blessed, I'm favored. And it's undoing that wiring of

100
00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:25,240
Speaker 1: worry and fear. Because we all have an emotional home.

101
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,600
Speaker 1: We all have three or four emotions that no matter

102
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,279
Speaker 1: what happens in a given week or month, we're going

103
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,920
Speaker 1: to get it. So if your emotional home is anger

104
00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:34,680
Speaker 1: or worry or fear of frustration, no matter what the

105
00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:36,680
Speaker 1: external conditions are, you're going to find a way to

106
00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:39,960
Speaker 1: get your hitt of it. It's your home Conversely, if

107
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:44,320
Speaker 1: your emotional home is peace or equanimity or bliss or ecstasy, passion, focus,

108
00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:46,960
Speaker 1: you'll find a way on a regular basis to get

109
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,919
Speaker 1: that emotion that you're familiar with, because we're wired for

110
00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,160
Speaker 1: it in our bodies and our minds to be familiar

111
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,320
Speaker 1: with those emotions. So I just chose, what are the

112
00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:56,560
Speaker 1: emotions I want? Don't want to live and worry and

113
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,840
Speaker 1: fear even though my external life is so great, I

114
00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:02,479
Speaker 1: still have a tendency to worry and live fearfully. Or

115
00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:03,880
Speaker 1: how do I want to live? I want to live

116
00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:06,680
Speaker 1: in peace, I want some equanimity, I want blessed in

117
00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:09,280
Speaker 1: my life. And so I've been rewiring that, and it's

118
00:05:09,279 --> 00:05:11,520
Speaker 1: something I've been really really excited about and proud of

119
00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:13,159
Speaker 1: that I've done that work at you know, at fifty

120
00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:15,839
Speaker 1: years old, fifty two now it's been happening.

121
00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:18,800
Speaker 2: Oh well, I'm so glad I asked that question already.

122
00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:21,120
Speaker 2: I'm late because I think you're so right. I think

123
00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:23,440
Speaker 2: everyone who's listening will be able to relate to what

124
00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:26,760
Speaker 2: they're wiring is from childhood, where do we go? What's

125
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,400
Speaker 2: our emotional home as you just called it, correct, where

126
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:32,120
Speaker 2: do we disappear to And it's really interesting because I

127
00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:36,320
Speaker 2: always talk about my childhood similarly being quite chaotic and

128
00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:42,080
Speaker 2: quite intense. But my mother's love was like this protective shield.

129
00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:43,599
Speaker 1: You've told me that that.

130
00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:46,000
Speaker 2: Really helped me. And now when I'm listening to you,

131
00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:48,760
Speaker 2: I'm actually thinking what I want, and I think what

132
00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:52,960
Speaker 2: we're both trying to develop is peace in the storm. Amen,

133
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:55,520
Speaker 2: it's equanimity in the imbalance.

134
00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:58,000
Speaker 1: That's correct, right, And in my case, not to create

135
00:05:58,120 --> 00:05:59,080
Speaker 1: the storm all the time.

136
00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:00,880
Speaker 2: No, no, no, But in all.

137
00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:02,960
Speaker 1: Honesty, a few things I discovered a few years ago.

138
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,880
Speaker 1: I used to brag a lot. I am unbelievable under stress.

139
00:06:06,279 --> 00:06:09,880
Speaker 1: I operate amazingly under chaos, which is true because I'm

140
00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:12,400
Speaker 1: so familiar with it. But what I found out about

141
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:16,000
Speaker 1: myself was, to some extent I created a lot of it.

142
00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:18,600
Speaker 1: In other words, I wasn't comfortable in my life. Maybe

143
00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,120
Speaker 1: people can relate to this if they really take a

144
00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:22,880
Speaker 1: look at themselves. I wasn't comfortable when things weren't a

145
00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:26,200
Speaker 1: little bit chaotic. Because in life, we move towards really

146
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,640
Speaker 1: what we're most familiar with. We keep moving back to

147
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:31,400
Speaker 1: the familiar. That's why some people will date the completely

148
00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:33,520
Speaker 1: same person in a different body. You and I have

149
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,800
Speaker 1: talked about with your amazing work, right because we move

150
00:06:35,839 --> 00:06:37,960
Speaker 1: towards what we're familiar with. So I it's had a

151
00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:39,800
Speaker 1: tennessee in my life to create a lot of stress

152
00:06:39,839 --> 00:06:42,520
Speaker 1: and chaos because I operated so well in it. It

153
00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:45,039
Speaker 1: was a familiar state to be in, even though it

154
00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:47,200
Speaker 1: didn't serve me. And so a lot of that work

155
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,080
Speaker 1: I've done in healing and digging deep in my life

156
00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:50,680
Speaker 1: it served me. Not just in healing, it's made me

157
00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:53,080
Speaker 1: a better businessman, It's made me a better father and

158
00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:56,000
Speaker 1: often cases a better friend because I'm not constantly creating

159
00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:58,680
Speaker 1: this stress and chaos around the people that I love

160
00:06:58,760 --> 00:06:59,120
Speaker 1: the most.

161
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:02,720
Speaker 2: How do you stop creating stress and droma? Well, one

162
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:03,720
Speaker 2: is why do we do it?

163
00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:05,600
Speaker 1: And how do we do it? Because we're familiar and

164
00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:07,640
Speaker 1: we wire these things in our bodies and so this

165
00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:10,240
Speaker 1: is really technical stuff. But I anchored the good states.

166
00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:13,080
Speaker 1: And so what happened was is that usually we're wiring

167
00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:15,560
Speaker 1: happens is in a highly emotional state. We anchor it

168
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:18,200
Speaker 1: in our bodies physically, that's what we do. And so

169
00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:20,119
Speaker 1: the way out of that is to begin to anchor

170
00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:23,320
Speaker 1: the great states so I take advantage of great states. So,

171
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,640
Speaker 1: for example, just a few weeks ago, my daughter was

172
00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:27,440
Speaker 1: home from college and we took a walk on the

173
00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:30,720
Speaker 1: beach and it was just this blissful experiences me and

174
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:32,720
Speaker 1: the you know, one of the people I love the

175
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:35,400
Speaker 1: most in the world, and I'm feeling this great peace

176
00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:37,840
Speaker 1: and love from my daughters. We're walking and I anchored it.

177
00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,200
Speaker 1: I literally anchored it in my body. I literally snapped

178
00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:42,440
Speaker 1: my fingers as I went and I anchored that state.

179
00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:44,880
Speaker 1: And so or when I'm walking on stage, I'm about to,

180
00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:48,040
Speaker 1: you know, have to speak, and that adrenaline hits me,

181
00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:50,920
Speaker 1: and that euphoria, the spirit, the energy hits me. I'll

182
00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:53,680
Speaker 1: anchor that state physically. And so what happens is I'm

183
00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:58,360
Speaker 1: rewiring myself physically. For example, like I pray on my

184
00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:01,280
Speaker 1: knees every night, and so I've been doing that for

185
00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:03,680
Speaker 1: a number of years. I feel great peace when I pray.

186
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,040
Speaker 1: What's ironic about it is not only is the prayer

187
00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:08,960
Speaker 1: now peaceful, but the actual physical move of getting on

188
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:11,840
Speaker 1: my knees triggers that state. So this is a very

189
00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:16,320
Speaker 1: detailed answer, but I've rewired. Okay, So I've rewired. So

190
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:19,520
Speaker 1: everybody when you're in that blissful state. Everyone's ever heard

191
00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:22,120
Speaker 1: a song from a different time and it just triggers

192
00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:24,560
Speaker 1: a state. It's not the words and the music, it's

193
00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:26,480
Speaker 1: what was going on in that moment. You've anchored it

194
00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:28,320
Speaker 1: in your body. So when I'm in a good state,

195
00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:29,960
Speaker 1: a great state, I take advantage of it. I don't

196
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,680
Speaker 1: let it pass. I anchored in my body, and I've

197
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:34,800
Speaker 1: sort of rewired myself so that when these ones that

198
00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:37,440
Speaker 1: I don't want come along, I have a neurology. I

199
00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:40,480
Speaker 1: can change out of that move and do something physical

200
00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:43,080
Speaker 1: and it's simple. It's not complicated to be tugging your ear,

201
00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:45,600
Speaker 1: feeling something on your shirt, something you do on your knees.

202
00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:47,600
Speaker 1: So I've created like triggers in my life to put

203
00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:50,560
Speaker 1: me back in that state, and over time that's become

204
00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:53,680
Speaker 1: my wiring now, not the old one. This is more

205
00:08:53,679 --> 00:08:56,520
Speaker 1: familiar to me than the old one. Tendency now is

206
00:08:56,559 --> 00:08:59,400
Speaker 1: to move towards the familiar state of bliss of joy.

207
00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:02,000
Speaker 1: I'd say seventy five eighty percent of the time now

208
00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:05,000
Speaker 1: that's where I live, whereas before ninety five percent of

209
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,040
Speaker 1: the time I live the other way.

210
00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:08,839
Speaker 2: I love that advice, and please be as technical and

211
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:11,640
Speaker 2: as detailed as you like, because you spark so much

212
00:09:11,679 --> 00:09:14,400
Speaker 2: for me, I was thinking that, actually the truth is

213
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:20,600
Speaker 2: everyone already has subconscious anchors that we're not choosing. And

214
00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:23,480
Speaker 2: so an example is when I'm working with a client,

215
00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:26,400
Speaker 2: often they'll say to me, the moment their head hits

216
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:30,000
Speaker 2: the pillow, all of their anxiety goes crazy. What is that.

217
00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:31,360
Speaker 2: It's an anchored state.

218
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:34,480
Speaker 1: It's actually your head hitting the pillow exactly exactly right.

219
00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:39,559
Speaker 2: The emotion is creating a sense of breathlessness, maybe tight chestedness,

220
00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:44,160
Speaker 2: mental anxiety. And until you retrain that act of I'm

221
00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:46,080
Speaker 2: going to let my head hit the pillow, I'm going

222
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:49,120
Speaker 2: to experience piece, maybe going to play a sound. Maybe

223
00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:51,959
Speaker 2: I'm going to feel a certain temperature, Maybe I need

224
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,920
Speaker 2: to do some breath work, like until you reanchor that state,

225
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,520
Speaker 2: like you're saying, your head hitting the pillow will never

226
00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:58,679
Speaker 2: change no matter what you do.

227
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:01,200
Speaker 1: No matter what you do external, as long as the

228
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:04,720
Speaker 1: external conditions of your life continually dictate how you feel,

229
00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:07,040
Speaker 1: you're an out of control human being. So at some

230
00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:09,280
Speaker 1: point you have to do things internally that change how

231
00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:11,640
Speaker 1: you feel. Because the quality of our life well, you know,

232
00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:14,360
Speaker 1: this is the quality of our emotions, that's the caliber

233
00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:16,360
Speaker 1: of our life. So I remember a long time ago.

234
00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:19,719
Speaker 1: I'll tell you a quick story. I had not made

235
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,560
Speaker 1: a money for a long time as a businessman. I

236
00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:25,440
Speaker 1: finally make some money, finally, right, But my emotional home

237
00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:27,840
Speaker 1: was fear. And by the way, the other side oftentimes

238
00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:31,280
Speaker 1: of fear can manifest itself as anger, shows up as anger.

239
00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:32,880
Speaker 1: But when you see an angry person, you're seeing a

240
00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:35,760
Speaker 1: scared person. And so I was a worrier and a

241
00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:38,120
Speaker 1: fearful person. Anyway, I was building my first dream home

242
00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:40,920
Speaker 1: and on the way over there, an appointment had canceled

243
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:43,440
Speaker 1: or something, and I was duh. And then the contractor

244
00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:45,439
Speaker 1: had messed something up. We've all had that in a moment.

245
00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:48,040
Speaker 1: And I walk into this mansion I'm building, and I'm

246
00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:51,480
Speaker 1: mad and I'm stressed, and I'm angry, and ooh, where's

247
00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:54,960
Speaker 1: the contractor? And I look into the kitchen and there's

248
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:56,680
Speaker 1: five men, and there are five or six men in there.

249
00:10:56,880 --> 00:11:00,160
Speaker 1: All men had come from Mexico. And these men had

250
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,080
Speaker 1: left their families, and the reason they had come there

251
00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:04,199
Speaker 1: was to send money home to their families and work.

252
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:07,000
Speaker 1: And they're in there and they were doing work. They

253
00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:09,560
Speaker 1: loved that they were great at working on my mansion.

254
00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:12,160
Speaker 1: And I watched them for a minute. I stood and

255
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:14,960
Speaker 1: watched them, and they had their mariachi music playing, and

256
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:19,360
Speaker 1: they were laughing and joking and blissful and also doing

257
00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:22,760
Speaker 1: work they cared about that mattered, that they were great at.

258
00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:24,800
Speaker 1: And in that moment, I stepped back, and I almost

259
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:28,040
Speaker 1: out of my body. I went, if life is the

260
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:32,920
Speaker 1: quality of your emotions, They're kicking my tail. They're winning

261
00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:35,200
Speaker 1: it life, and I'm losing. I have all these things

262
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:37,160
Speaker 1: to be grateful for around me, but my home that

263
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:39,600
Speaker 1: I keep going back to is fear, anger, and worry.

264
00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:42,920
Speaker 1: These guys who had to leave their families to come

265
00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:45,920
Speaker 1: to another country just to support them, Imagine how difficult

266
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,000
Speaker 1: their life was there. They had to leave their country

267
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:51,199
Speaker 1: and their children to come here to work to support

268
00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:55,920
Speaker 1: their families. And they're joyous and blissful and doing work

269
00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,960
Speaker 1: that matters to them and that they're great at. And

270
00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:01,719
Speaker 1: so I decided, it's you don't want the mansion you want,

271
00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:03,160
Speaker 1: how you think it'll make you feel. You don't want

272
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,360
Speaker 1: the relationship you want how you think it'll make you feel.

273
00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:07,560
Speaker 1: You don't want to be fit and sexy and jacked.

274
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:10,000
Speaker 1: You want how you think it'll make you feel. So

275
00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:12,080
Speaker 1: what if I could get the emotions. If I could

276
00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:15,000
Speaker 1: have these emotions, maybe getting the things I want would

277
00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:17,960
Speaker 1: be that much easier. And so I focus. Now. Everyone

278
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:20,400
Speaker 1: has goals of their physical things they want, but for me,

279
00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:23,840
Speaker 1: a lot of my outcomes now are emotionally driven because

280
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:25,800
Speaker 1: I think if I'm in the right emotional state, I

281
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:27,640
Speaker 1: can produce the physical things I want.

282
00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:31,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, you make better decisions, right, You're more clear. Your

283
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,840
Speaker 2: vision makes sense. I'd completely agree with you. It's like,

284
00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:38,360
Speaker 2: and I think a lot of us feel like the

285
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:41,440
Speaker 2: more we do, the more we take on, the more

286
00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:44,160
Speaker 2: amount of things we do, the more likely we're going

287
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:46,000
Speaker 2: to be successful. And I wanted to talk to you

288
00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:48,280
Speaker 2: about this in terms of your schedule because I know.

289
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:49,680
Speaker 1: That that's like you and I have talked about it.

290
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:53,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, like, walk me through your schedule. What does it

291
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:54,120
Speaker 2: look like right now?

292
00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:56,520
Speaker 1: It's busy. But I have learned you and I just

293
00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:59,040
Speaker 1: were talking about this. I have learned to say no,

294
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:03,120
Speaker 1: and I've learned this is just recent. I am a

295
00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:05,840
Speaker 1: people pleaser, and so a lot of times because I

296
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:07,480
Speaker 1: am you know I have a deep voice, and maybe

297
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,000
Speaker 1: I look a particular way, you wouldn't know that inside

298
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,840
Speaker 1: is this person. I just want to please people and

299
00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:13,719
Speaker 1: make them happy because of my child that if my

300
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:15,480
Speaker 1: dad was in a good mood, maybe you wouldn't drink

301
00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:17,640
Speaker 1: that day. If I brought home an A on my

302
00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:20,760
Speaker 1: report card, then he'd show me love. So I've I

303
00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:26,160
Speaker 1: conflated in my life brother love with significance, and I

304
00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:29,160
Speaker 1: thought when I would do something significant, it felt like love.

305
00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:31,559
Speaker 1: But they're two different things. Most people are that way

306
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,800
Speaker 1: as well. If I can just perform, if I can

307
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:36,840
Speaker 1: just do something, people will love me. So I've changed

308
00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,240
Speaker 1: that and in my schedule, so I have learned to

309
00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:41,520
Speaker 1: do things that I love, that make me feel good,

310
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:44,200
Speaker 1: that contribute. My schedule's busy, though, I mean I'm up

311
00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:46,280
Speaker 1: very early in the morning most of mornings. I've got

312
00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:49,120
Speaker 1: a routine that I do. I travel quite a bit,

313
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,560
Speaker 1: just like you do. But what I've really learned to

314
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:54,040
Speaker 1: do is to choose things in my life that both

315
00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:56,760
Speaker 1: are productive, but that also give me a sense of

316
00:13:56,800 --> 00:14:00,839
Speaker 1: contribution and joy, not just productive anymore. So I've said

317
00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:02,640
Speaker 1: no to things. Recently, there's a TV show that I'm

318
00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:04,880
Speaker 1: doing right now. Another one came up, and I've always

319
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,600
Speaker 1: really wanted to do this particular show. It doesn't serve

320
00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:09,920
Speaker 1: my current dream. So what I do as I check

321
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:12,720
Speaker 1: in and I ask myself, I audit, is that still

322
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:15,840
Speaker 1: my dream? Is that still what I want? There's this

323
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:18,560
Speaker 1: great clip on social media going around right now with

324
00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:20,920
Speaker 1: Jim Carrey. I don't know if you've seen this, but

325
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:22,440
Speaker 1: I've watched it and I've sent it to so many

326
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:23,600
Speaker 1: of our friends. I thought I sent it to you.

327
00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:25,960
Speaker 1: Maybe I didn't. And he says something in this clip.

328
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,960
Speaker 1: I'll paraphrase it, I'll mess it up, but he basically

329
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,880
Speaker 1: says in this clip he says, I'm going to say

330
00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:32,280
Speaker 1: something you've never heard an actor say before. And an

331
00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:36,160
Speaker 1: interview say what's that? And Carrie says, I've had enough.

332
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:40,640
Speaker 1: I've done enough. I've made enough movies, I've had enough success,

333
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:43,680
Speaker 1: I've won enough awards, and now I want to just

334
00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:46,080
Speaker 1: do things that bring me peace and joy. That's a

335
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:49,240
Speaker 1: courageous choice in life. And so what he did is

336
00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:51,200
Speaker 1: he audited, is this still my dream? And I think

337
00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:52,600
Speaker 1: a lot of times in life, we just have this

338
00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:54,560
Speaker 1: dream that was given to us by our parents. Or

339
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:57,600
Speaker 1: our friends, or there's an expectation and we're chasing a

340
00:14:57,680 --> 00:15:00,720
Speaker 1: dream that was maybe never ours or no longer is.

341
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,280
Speaker 1: And so now I really audit that I audit the

342
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,360
Speaker 1: fact of whether or not this is something that is

343
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:08,000
Speaker 1: still my dream? Is it consistent with where I want

344
00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:10,360
Speaker 1: to go now? But I'm busy, you know, I'm twelve

345
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:13,920
Speaker 1: fourteen hours a day. So my physiology matters, my hydration matters,

346
00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:17,200
Speaker 1: my juney water matters. All these things matter to me

347
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:19,600
Speaker 1: in my life so that I'm feeding my soul and

348
00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:21,560
Speaker 1: my spirit so that I am my best when I

349
00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:23,960
Speaker 1: come do a I show like yes today.

350
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:26,520
Speaker 2: If anyone doesn't know, Edward's just on stage with our

351
00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:30,080
Speaker 2: good friend Brendan Boushard in La. It came straight.

352
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,280
Speaker 1: Into the studio here, that's right.

353
00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:34,280
Speaker 2: And you always this energy like you have the ability.

354
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,760
Speaker 2: I think I talk a lot about the difference between

355
00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:40,640
Speaker 2: time management and energy management. And you're someone that whenever

356
00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:43,640
Speaker 2: I'm with you, you're always highly energetic. For you, You're

357
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:46,040
Speaker 2: always you know, there's that I feel that I feel

358
00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:48,680
Speaker 2: your spirit coming through yourself.

359
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:51,400
Speaker 1: Well, I'm conscious, Jade, like you are. I'm conscious of

360
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,520
Speaker 1: something I think most people are oblivious to And here's

361
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:57,240
Speaker 1: what it is. You are always making people feel something.

362
00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,680
Speaker 1: Most people aren't aware of this. No matter what, you're

363
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:02,000
Speaker 1: making them feel something. It could be. They could feel

364
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:05,760
Speaker 1: important and needed and loved. They could feel slighted and invisible.

365
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:08,280
Speaker 1: They could feel that you're demeaning to them, but you're

366
00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:11,760
Speaker 1: making them feel something. So I try to really focus

367
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:14,760
Speaker 1: on my intentions. When I met Wayne Dyer when I

368
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:17,200
Speaker 1: was very young. At that time, he was writing a book,

369
00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:18,160
Speaker 1: What a Beautiful Man.

370
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,600
Speaker 2: I think people don't know me read ye special.

371
00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:22,360
Speaker 1: Well, I got to tell you, you remind me a

372
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:25,040
Speaker 1: lot of Wayne, a lot, I mean. And he was

373
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:29,520
Speaker 1: a dear, dear friend. Your spirit is very similar and

374
00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:31,360
Speaker 1: uh and I don't know a lot of people that

375
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:34,160
Speaker 1: remind me of Wayne, but you do. And he was

376
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:35,920
Speaker 1: so good to me. But when I met him, it's

377
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:37,680
Speaker 1: a funny story. It's a long time ago, but I

378
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,080
Speaker 1: was I had luckily I work out so I'd won

379
00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:42,080
Speaker 1: my first trip ever to Hawaii with the company I

380
00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:44,200
Speaker 1: was at. And I got up in the morning before

381
00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:46,000
Speaker 1: the sun was up, because that's my routine, beat the

382
00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:48,200
Speaker 1: sun up, and I ran on the beach and as

383
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,480
Speaker 1: I'm running, this man's coming towards me. I could see

384
00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,880
Speaker 1: a bald guy, sweaty, hairy back. I'm like, I don't

385
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:55,160
Speaker 1: want to bump into this guy. And as he gets closer,

386
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:57,480
Speaker 1: I go, oh, my gosh, that's Wayne Dyre. It was

387
00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:59,800
Speaker 1: in Maui and he gets past me. We're both were

388
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:02,240
Speaker 1: in ony walkman, that's how old we all both are.

389
00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:06,280
Speaker 1: And I pull my walk out of it. You're dating yourself

390
00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:09,919
Speaker 1: now and I go, doctor Dyer, you change my life,

391
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:11,760
Speaker 1: and don't you love when someone says that to you.

392
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,919
Speaker 1: To this day, I remember saying that to him, and

393
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:15,639
Speaker 1: he takes his hey out a deep voice like me,

394
00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:18,200
Speaker 1: takes his headphones off, running and he goes I highly

395
00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:20,960
Speaker 1: doubt that. He goes, I bet you changed your life,

396
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,119
Speaker 1: But how did I help you? And he stops the

397
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,280
Speaker 1: run jay and he walks over to me and I

398
00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:27,000
Speaker 1: end up sitting on the beach for an hour and

399
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:29,639
Speaker 1: a half watching the sun come up with Wayne Dyer

400
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,399
Speaker 1: and at the end of the conversation he says to me,

401
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:34,720
Speaker 1: he says, ed, I think you're going to change the

402
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:38,119
Speaker 1: world now. At that time, I thought I was probably

403
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:40,120
Speaker 1: the only person he ever said that too. In hindsight,

404
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,359
Speaker 1: he probably said that too much, But he said, and

405
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,879
Speaker 1: it's not because of your amazing brain or you have

406
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:47,399
Speaker 1: a unique ability to communicate ed. But that's not why

407
00:17:48,119 --> 00:17:51,480
Speaker 1: he said, you're a good man. Listen to this what

408
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:53,680
Speaker 1: he said, bro, He goes, you're a good man, he goes,

409
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:56,560
Speaker 1: you have great intentions, and he goes, if we never

410
00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:58,199
Speaker 1: talk again, and we ended up talking the rest of

411
00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:01,000
Speaker 1: his life. He said, I you to always link your

412
00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:04,680
Speaker 1: confidence to your intentions, not your abilities, because you'll be

413
00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:07,960
Speaker 1: chasing that tale all your life. In so, if he goes,

414
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,679
Speaker 1: there's a great He was writing a book at the

415
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:11,679
Speaker 1: time called The Power of Intention. But I didn't know

416
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:14,399
Speaker 1: that when I look for confidence, like before this interview

417
00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:16,560
Speaker 1: or that speech I just gave, or if for anybody

418
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:18,480
Speaker 1: listening to going into a sales call or a meeting

419
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,680
Speaker 1: or a first date, your confidence isn't your beauty or

420
00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:24,720
Speaker 1: your ability, it's your intent. And so I always that's

421
00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:26,399
Speaker 1: one thing I know to be true about me. I

422
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:28,880
Speaker 1: don't always believe in my ability or my talent. That's

423
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:31,879
Speaker 1: fleeting or what happens when a speech goes bad, or

424
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:34,119
Speaker 1: a meeting goes bad, or a company goes bad. I

425
00:18:34,119 --> 00:18:36,280
Speaker 1: don't want to predicate my confidence on that. I predicate

426
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:39,320
Speaker 1: it on my intentions, and I'll remind myself because I

427
00:18:39,359 --> 00:18:41,880
Speaker 1: actually believe I'm a good person, and I don't think

428
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:45,320
Speaker 1: enough people give themselves credit for being good and kind

429
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,480
Speaker 1: and that they give people grace and they want to

430
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:51,120
Speaker 1: contribute and help. You should generate so much confidence from

431
00:18:51,119 --> 00:18:54,160
Speaker 1: that intent to serve that you ought to walk into

432
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,359
Speaker 1: a room and own it. Not because you're arrogant or

433
00:18:56,359 --> 00:19:00,160
Speaker 1: you're amazing, but because your intentions are so good. It's

434
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,880
Speaker 1: a shell of confidence. I hack. The confidence nobody talks

435
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,879
Speaker 1: about is intention, and I learned that most from Wayane.

436
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,680
Speaker 1: And so it's why I can bring an energy to

437
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:11,520
Speaker 1: something because I'm pretty confident. And that confident is that

438
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,120
Speaker 1: I'm going to say something amazing. It's that my intent

439
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,800
Speaker 1: is to serve. And so you've vibrated a high frequency.

440
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:19,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is why we get along. This is I

441
00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:22,720
Speaker 2: can relate completely. I've always said whenever anyone asked me

442
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:26,320
Speaker 2: what my morning routine is, the number one part of

443
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:28,720
Speaker 2: my morning routine, apart from the meditation, workout, all that

444
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:33,400
Speaker 2: stuff is refining and purifying my intention. I've always said

445
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:36,159
Speaker 2: that because I feel like your intention can either be

446
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:39,679
Speaker 2: a seed or a weed. Wow, and a seed is growing,

447
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,280
Speaker 2: and a weed when it starts to grow, it looks

448
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:44,320
Speaker 2: the same thing as a seed. But my teachers would

449
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:48,359
Speaker 2: always tell us they're like a weed will strangle the seed,

450
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:52,600
Speaker 2: like a weed will completely destroy a great plant because

451
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:53,640
Speaker 2: of its intention.

452
00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:56,360
Speaker 1: What do you do? I'm curious. That's so good, that's

453
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:59,359
Speaker 1: really good. What do you do with the weeds in

454
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,560
Speaker 1: your life when they begin to grow around you as

455
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:02,560
Speaker 1: you have a strategy for that?

456
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:06,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, I find that there's almost a mental plucking an

457
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:11,680
Speaker 2: extraction process, and it starts with an awareness of why

458
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,600
Speaker 2: am I making this decision or what is driving me

459
00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:22,440
Speaker 2: towards this? And if the intention is not love, service, joy, growth,

460
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:31,119
Speaker 2: then chances are if it's ego, revenge, jealousy, envy, greed,

461
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:33,879
Speaker 2: if it's all those, I know those are weeds. But

462
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:38,320
Speaker 2: that requires me to sit still and sit quietly in

463
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:41,480
Speaker 2: order to really be honest with myself when it's uncomfortable

464
00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:44,320
Speaker 2: to say, oh, Jay, you're just doing that because you're envious,

465
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:46,639
Speaker 2: and being able to say that to myself and not

466
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:49,399
Speaker 2: hate myself for that, but to realize it's just a

467
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:50,879
Speaker 2: weed in a garden. If you see a weed in

468
00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:53,720
Speaker 2: your garden and you start hating the whole garden. That

469
00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:55,560
Speaker 2: doesn't make any sense. You just go and pluck that

470
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:58,360
Speaker 2: weed out. And so I feel for me it requires

471
00:20:58,359 --> 00:21:01,880
Speaker 2: that awareness, that stillness and an extraction that's really good

472
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:04,240
Speaker 2: and it's and I think that's partly what probably why

473
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:06,679
Speaker 2: I think we get along so well because of that intention.

474
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:08,440
Speaker 2: But I want to ask you, how do you are

475
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:14,000
Speaker 2: good develop and build and help people choose an intention

476
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,320
Speaker 2: that lives off the page, Because I think we're all

477
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,960
Speaker 2: used to now, like my intention today is right, but

478
00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:21,399
Speaker 2: that's not what we're talking about. How does your intention

479
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:23,480
Speaker 2: come off the page and come into your day.

480
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,320
Speaker 1: It's a great question. I tell them all. You validate

481
00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:28,159
Speaker 1: your intention with your action, So I like to. I

482
00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:30,840
Speaker 1: call it validating it, and so I like to give

483
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:33,680
Speaker 1: myself evidence that it's true. I'll give you an example

484
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,119
Speaker 1: one of the things right now that I'm really working

485
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:38,359
Speaker 1: on in my life. And it's not easy for me

486
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:40,160
Speaker 1: because I've lived another way. I love to just share

487
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,040
Speaker 1: the things that are negative about me because I think

488
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:44,159
Speaker 1: it gives people hope. If this guy is screwed up

489
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:46,000
Speaker 1: as he is, can win. Maybe I got some hope.

490
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:48,040
Speaker 1: And one of the things that I've lived with a

491
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:50,280
Speaker 1: lot in my life is I think I have judged

492
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:54,720
Speaker 1: people too much and not extended enough grace. But the

493
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:56,720
Speaker 1: last ten years of my life, man, I'm really proud

494
00:21:56,760 --> 00:22:01,119
Speaker 1: of myself. I've extended grace to people. I feel better

495
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:05,000
Speaker 1: about me. Brother, when I extend grace to another person,

496
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:08,359
Speaker 1: I just feel good about me, particularly maybe when they

497
00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:10,840
Speaker 1: don't deserve it in the moment. Give you an example,

498
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:12,240
Speaker 1: Give you a quick story.

499
00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:14,040
Speaker 2: The stories are great. You've been coming. I love.

500
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:18,160
Speaker 1: About three weeks ago, my kids were home for the holidays,

501
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,359
Speaker 1: and so we were at dinner, and this is treasured

502
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:22,480
Speaker 1: time with my kids because they're both away at college.

503
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:25,280
Speaker 1: And so we walk into a restaurant, a great restaurant,

504
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:27,159
Speaker 1: not like an amazing place, but a good restaurant. We

505
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:29,399
Speaker 1: walk in and from the lobby, I can hear these

506
00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:34,280
Speaker 1: kids screaming. And I'm an introvert, so I like quiet meals.

507
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:36,040
Speaker 1: I like to actually be able to hear the people

508
00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:39,479
Speaker 1: I'm talking with. I like quiet restaurants. This was normally

509
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:41,800
Speaker 1: very quiet places where I picked it. This night, it

510
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:44,040
Speaker 1: was not quiet in there, and I could hear these

511
00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:46,560
Speaker 1: children screaming. And you know when you're a parent like

512
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,359
Speaker 1: I am. Sometimes you're like, what is why don't you

513
00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:50,360
Speaker 1: I would never let my kids act like that. There's

514
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:53,160
Speaker 1: easy to judge, and I didn't. So anyway, we walk

515
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:55,320
Speaker 1: into this restaurant and guess who we sit next to

516
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:57,840
Speaker 1: the table I could hear from the lobby there's five

517
00:22:57,920 --> 00:22:59,920
Speaker 1: kids at this table with two parents, and the kids

518
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:02,200
Speaker 1: yelling and screaming, and one of them is running a

519
00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:04,440
Speaker 1: circle ound there. One of them through some food, and

520
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:06,280
Speaker 1: the mother had kind of had her head down the

521
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:09,840
Speaker 1: whole time, and she really my tendency would be to

522
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,000
Speaker 1: judge that family. This is an extreme story, but it

523
00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:15,000
Speaker 1: gives you an example of why I work on them validating.

524
00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:17,359
Speaker 1: So it's good enough to say my intention is to

525
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:20,159
Speaker 1: get people grace, but I need to validate it. And

526
00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:22,160
Speaker 1: so my kids were kind of looking at me because

527
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,520
Speaker 1: they know their dad, you know, and I went, I'm

528
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:26,919
Speaker 1: going to extend grace to that family right now. And

529
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:28,840
Speaker 1: I actually told my family, I said, you guys, Okay,

530
00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:30,960
Speaker 1: it's gonna sound crazy, can we just say a quick

531
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:33,239
Speaker 1: prayer for them over there? They're like very close to us.

532
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:34,920
Speaker 1: And the rest of the restaurant had noticed them too,

533
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:36,720
Speaker 1: and so I said, they say a quick prayer, and

534
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:38,680
Speaker 1: they go Max say the prayer, I say to my son,

535
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:41,600
Speaker 1: So my son says a quick blessing for that family,

536
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:43,800
Speaker 1: and then my daughter says, Daddy, let's buy them dinner.

537
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:46,960
Speaker 1: I'm like, now you're pushing me. But okay, okay, we'll

538
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:48,399
Speaker 1: get their dinner too, but we're not going to tell

539
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:51,119
Speaker 1: them anyway, So we extended grace, and the entire meal

540
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:53,280
Speaker 1: they were noisy and chaotic. Anyway, the end of the

541
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:57,000
Speaker 1: meal they left before we did. And so they left,

542
00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:59,280
Speaker 1: and Nick got very quiet in there and like, ah,

543
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:01,520
Speaker 1: but the whole time I had extended grace, I didn't

544
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:04,679
Speaker 1: judge them, which would be a tendency I would normally

545
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:07,359
Speaker 1: maybe do in my past, but now I'm validating this

546
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:10,199
Speaker 1: new intention of mine. Anyway, we pay the bill and

547
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,080
Speaker 1: we leave, and two days later, I'm hitting a couple

548
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:14,040
Speaker 1: of golf balls at the golf course and the server

549
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:16,640
Speaker 1: that night was hitting balls next to me, and he saw,

550
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:18,360
Speaker 1: mister Milett, that was so kind to you to buy

551
00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:20,600
Speaker 1: the meal for that night for that family in light

552
00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:24,639
Speaker 1: of the funeral. And I said, what, he goes that

553
00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:27,560
Speaker 1: family that night, he goes, you know, they had come

554
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:29,840
Speaker 1: there to celebrate. They had just left the funeral of

555
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:33,600
Speaker 1: their grandmother. I said, you're kidding me, and he said no,

556
00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:35,400
Speaker 1: and the grandmother would come in here with them. They're

557
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:37,600
Speaker 1: a very close family. The kids don't normally behave like that,

558
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:39,680
Speaker 1: and the mother that night was so down. It's her mom.

559
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:42,960
Speaker 1: The kids are extra close to her because their husband

560
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:46,119
Speaker 1: when he was deployed in Iraq, the grandmother lived with

561
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:48,280
Speaker 1: them and sort of raised them. And so they had

562
00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:50,359
Speaker 1: just left the funeral that night and were having the

563
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:54,240
Speaker 1: dinner and I went there, you go, you never know

564
00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:57,080
Speaker 1: what someone's carrying. You don't know the burden they're carrying,

565
00:24:57,080 --> 00:25:00,440
Speaker 1: and hurt people, hurt people, people in pain, tip will

566
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:02,800
Speaker 1: create pain for other people. And I was like, what

567
00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:05,720
Speaker 1: a blessing that I've got to this point in my

568
00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:08,600
Speaker 1: life that I do extend grace even when it doesn't

569
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:10,879
Speaker 1: seem like somebody deserves it because you don't know what

570
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:14,640
Speaker 1: they're carrying. So I validated that intention with my behavior,

571
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:17,120
Speaker 1: and thank god I did not knowing what they were

572
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:20,359
Speaker 1: going through. So it's a really beautiful culmination of the

573
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:23,879
Speaker 1: story that you just don't know what someone's carrying, extend grace,

574
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:27,000
Speaker 1: give people kindness, do everything you can not to judge.

575
00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:31,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, Wow, that's powerful. Man's Yeah, that's crazy, but it's

576
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:34,960
Speaker 2: and sometimes we don't always get the reward of that

577
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:37,760
Speaker 2: loose true. But we have to recognize, as we know

578
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:41,720
Speaker 2: in our own lives that we know we're always going

579
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:44,040
Speaker 2: through something. We know our friends are going through something,

580
00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:46,760
Speaker 2: our family is going through something. Everyone on your team

581
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:52,080
Speaker 2: is going through something. How we can't extend that is crazy.

582
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:53,920
Speaker 2: But I want to ask you something. There's a lot

583
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:56,919
Speaker 2: of people who I know will be listening, and I

584
00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:00,680
Speaker 2: know that our community and our audience are good hearted, loving,

585
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:04,399
Speaker 2: wanting to be better people. We all want to improve,

586
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:06,480
Speaker 2: as do I. I've got so much more healing left

587
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:09,440
Speaker 2: for you, and I know how community does. But they

588
00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:12,719
Speaker 2: often feel like even though they lead with love, everyone

589
00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:17,920
Speaker 2: around them is causing them pain, is negative, is toxic.

590
00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:21,200
Speaker 2: They don't feel that around them, and they almost get

591
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:25,920
Speaker 2: exhausted trying to be this bigger, graceful kind of person.

592
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:28,240
Speaker 2: And I'm sure you felt that. I know you're the

593
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:30,199
Speaker 2: right person asked this question too. What do you do

594
00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:33,600
Speaker 2: when you feel everyone around you is bringing you toxicity,

595
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:38,840
Speaker 2: negativity and poor energy? How do you operate?

596
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:41,640
Speaker 1: I reduce proximity to them in those moments. And sometimes

597
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:43,800
Speaker 1: they are the weeds that needed to be weeded out

598
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:46,240
Speaker 1: of your garden. That's the most difficult decision. But sometimes

599
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:48,919
Speaker 1: it's not weeding them out, it's reducing proximity. And then

600
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:52,080
Speaker 1: I've created some havens that I can go to to

601
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:54,240
Speaker 1: sort of escape that for a few minutes. And so

602
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:57,359
Speaker 1: some of those are actually people. I've got two or

603
00:26:57,359 --> 00:26:59,919
Speaker 1: three people in my life that when these other people

604
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:03,679
Speaker 1: are losing it and acting in a toxic way, or

605
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:06,480
Speaker 1: acting out or antagonistic towards me or other people, I've

606
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:08,840
Speaker 1: got another person or two that I can go to

607
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:12,119
Speaker 1: that shifts my state. That is my rock. That is

608
00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:14,000
Speaker 1: someone that I can express myself to. For some people

609
00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:16,360
Speaker 1: that might be therapy, but in my case, I've got

610
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:18,399
Speaker 1: two or three just great friends that I can go to.

611
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:22,919
Speaker 1: They set me straight, They give me, they give me perspective. Yes,

612
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,240
Speaker 1: what great friends give me is they give me perspective.

613
00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:28,920
Speaker 1: This will pass. They're going through something. Rise above this.

614
00:27:29,119 --> 00:27:32,440
Speaker 1: And see, when some people walk into a room, they

615
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:36,639
Speaker 1: adapt to the energy in the room. Greatness is walking

616
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:39,639
Speaker 1: into a room and shifting the energy. And so I

617
00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:42,680
Speaker 1: believe I'm built for those moments that over time, I'm

618
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:45,080
Speaker 1: built to shift the energy in the room, shift it.

619
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:47,119
Speaker 1: And the way that you do it is, to me,

620
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:50,800
Speaker 1: it's just really speaking truth to people and sometimes in

621
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:53,600
Speaker 1: a kind way, speaking truth to them about their behavior

622
00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:55,760
Speaker 1: and their conduct and letting them know that you're better

623
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:58,439
Speaker 1: than this. You are better than the way you're conducting yourself.

624
00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:02,480
Speaker 1: You're better than this. And here's why I do that. Truth.

625
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:05,320
Speaker 1: I think vibrates at the highest frequency, and so if

626
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:07,040
Speaker 1: you want to influence somebody, you have to be vibrating

627
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:09,399
Speaker 1: at a high frequency. That's telling someone the truth. In

628
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:11,560
Speaker 1: the moment. You can tell the truth to somebody in

629
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:14,399
Speaker 1: a kind and gentle and generous way. But when you

630
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:18,280
Speaker 1: don't address someone's behavior that's toxic towards you, you're not

631
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:21,120
Speaker 1: operating in truth. And what happens is you reduce your

632
00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:24,280
Speaker 1: own vibrational frequency and they can get worse. So the

633
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:26,480
Speaker 1: way you rise above and shift the energy in the

634
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:30,280
Speaker 1: room is actually by operating in truth with somebody saying, look,

635
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:32,439
Speaker 1: I love you, I believe in you, and that's why

636
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:34,399
Speaker 1: I'm going to tell you the truth right now. And

637
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:37,399
Speaker 1: here's the truth. This thing you're doing right now, this

638
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:40,440
Speaker 1: way you're handling yourself is so much so beneath who

639
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:43,240
Speaker 1: you really are. You're cable of so much greater. And

640
00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:44,920
Speaker 1: I want you to know I love you and believe

641
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:47,120
Speaker 1: in you enough that I'm going to share with you

642
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:50,480
Speaker 1: the truth. And by the way, there comes these intentions too.

643
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:53,520
Speaker 1: If someone if you've sown enough seeds into someone, they

644
00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:56,800
Speaker 1: know your intention. I think you can challenge people. I

645
00:28:56,840 --> 00:29:01,240
Speaker 1: think great people are good at challenging other people. And

646
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:03,280
Speaker 1: the only way that you can challenge somebody is they

647
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:05,120
Speaker 1: have to know you love and believe in them first.

648
00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:08,240
Speaker 1: Like even in your companies, you're just listen, Jay's life

649
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:11,160
Speaker 1: is just exploding. Write everything about that he's got going.

650
00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:12,840
Speaker 1: So a lot of people depend on you, a lot

651
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:15,320
Speaker 1: of people work with you, and you've got to be

652
00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:18,920
Speaker 1: able to challenge them to raise their standard. You can't

653
00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:21,800
Speaker 1: do that first. You have to make deposits into people

654
00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:25,120
Speaker 1: before you can make withdrawals. Because anytime you're challenging someone

655
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:27,280
Speaker 1: is saying I need you to step up. That's a

656
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:29,760
Speaker 1: form of a withdrawal. It just is you have to

657
00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:32,959
Speaker 1: have made the deposits in someone of belief and love first,

658
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:35,720
Speaker 1: and then if you operate in truth, man, your frequency

659
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:37,880
Speaker 1: is vibrating real high. You can shift an environment and

660
00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:38,720
Speaker 1: shift to the energy.

661
00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:40,840
Speaker 2: Oh, I love that. I love that. I love that.

662
00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:44,280
Speaker 2: And it's and it's not a technique, No, it's it's real.

663
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:44,840
Speaker 1: It's real.

664
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:47,120
Speaker 2: Like it's not like I always find like, it's not

665
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:48,920
Speaker 2: like you'd be nice to someone so you can ask

666
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:51,560
Speaker 2: for something back, And that's the way you're saying it.

667
00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:53,960
Speaker 2: It doesn't come that way. And I I love that

668
00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:58,800
Speaker 2: idea of raising and shifting frequency, and I actually want

669
00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:02,080
Speaker 2: to give more people the encouragement and courage to be

670
00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:04,560
Speaker 2: able to do that, because I think we all do

671
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:07,960
Speaker 2: feel I can't shift it, I can't do anything. I'm

672
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:08,720
Speaker 2: not in control.

673
00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:12,080
Speaker 1: My reminder would be truth is what shifts the room,

674
00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:14,000
Speaker 1: and when you come from a loving place and a

675
00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:16,200
Speaker 1: truth telling place. Here's the other thing. I said this

676
00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:17,280
Speaker 1: to you one other time. I don't know if I

677
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:19,040
Speaker 1: was on the show or not, but I think a

678
00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:22,040
Speaker 1: lot of people feel inadequate about that, like I'm not qualified,

679
00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:25,040
Speaker 1: there's nothing great about me, like I've never I've not

680
00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:27,360
Speaker 1: achieved something or or The other thing they do is

681
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:30,320
Speaker 1: they hold their sins or mistakes of their life as

682
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:34,200
Speaker 1: like weapons against themselves, like, you don't know about my divorce.

683
00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:35,720
Speaker 1: You don't know that I did this thing I'm not

684
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:37,680
Speaker 1: proud of. You don't know I had this business failure

685
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:40,640
Speaker 1: or I didn't you know. I've gained some weight and

686
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:42,640
Speaker 1: so I made a commitment to get fit. And I'm

687
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:45,320
Speaker 1: not anymore. I'm not qualified to shift the energy or

688
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:47,760
Speaker 1: change other people. And one of the best examples of

689
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:49,800
Speaker 1: that ever I've shared this with you before is my dad.

690
00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:53,800
Speaker 1: When my dad got sober, it changed our entire family's life.

691
00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:56,360
Speaker 1: I mean, it just changed everything. That one decision my

692
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,960
Speaker 1: dad made. And after I wrote my book and after

693
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:01,200
Speaker 1: my dad passed away, I woke up one night it

694
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:05,720
Speaker 1: was like three AM, and I was crying and kind

695
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:07,920
Speaker 1: of startled my wife and she's like, what's going on, Babe?

696
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:10,880
Speaker 1: I said, Babe, I just realized something here. I am

697
00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:12,719
Speaker 1: fifty two years old. My dad had been sober for

698
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:14,719
Speaker 1: thirty five years. That's never dawned on me. I went,

699
00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:19,520
Speaker 1: someone helped my dad. I've told you this before, and

700
00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 1: she goes, what, honey, I said, someone helped dad, and

701
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:26,640
Speaker 1: that person changed my entire life. That act of helping

702
00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:29,480
Speaker 1: one person, the ripple effect is I'm his son, and

703
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:32,480
Speaker 1: I've been blessed to reach millions of people around the world.

704
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:36,920
Speaker 1: That person doesn't know that helping my dad change millions

705
00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:40,400
Speaker 1: of lives, And she goes, my gosh, that's incredible. I said,

706
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:42,959
Speaker 1: that's not the most incredible thing. The most incredible thing

707
00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:46,120
Speaker 1: is what qualified that man to help my dad, who

708
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:48,480
Speaker 1: I didn't know who he was at the time. She says,

709
00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:50,760
Speaker 1: I don't know. I said, not how perfect he was,

710
00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:54,800
Speaker 1: not how stupendous, not his amazing achievements. What qualified him

711
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:57,200
Speaker 1: to help my dad was that he was also an

712
00:31:57,200 --> 00:32:01,160
Speaker 1: alcoholic at one time, he was a drug addict, He lied,

713
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:04,640
Speaker 1: he lived in the shadows. And so actually, in life,

714
00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:07,480
Speaker 1: we're most qualified to help the person we used to

715
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:10,640
Speaker 1: be yes, And so in life, it's not that you're

716
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:13,840
Speaker 1: better than these people. It's that you can help people

717
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:16,120
Speaker 1: that used to be like you. That you used to

718
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:17,840
Speaker 1: operate in a way that didn't serve you, Maybe you

719
00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:20,640
Speaker 1: behaved in a way that wasn't conducive with your character.

720
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:23,160
Speaker 1: Because of that, you're qualified to help people that are

721
00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:26,520
Speaker 1: operating that way. So you're immensely qualified in life to

722
00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:29,160
Speaker 1: shift other people. If you're willing to be vulnerable and

723
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:31,320
Speaker 1: reveal your imperfect you don't connect with anybody, be going

724
00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:33,880
Speaker 1: I'm amazing, like I imagine the podcasting. Like, brother, get

725
00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:36,840
Speaker 1: honest with you. I have no problems. There's no healing left.

726
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:38,960
Speaker 1: I'm just kicking butt everywhere I go. And you're like,

727
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:40,960
Speaker 1: well me too, man, We're just touring the globe and

728
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:43,800
Speaker 1: dubaye together. You know that's not the truth. The truth

729
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:45,600
Speaker 1: is the way you connect is by going, here's all

730
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:46,360
Speaker 1: the things on that art.

731
00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:47,880
Speaker 2: This is what we did in that guy, just what

732
00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:48,280
Speaker 2: we did in.

733
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:50,280
Speaker 1: The car with each other. Right, So like that, you're

734
00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:53,240
Speaker 1: revealing your imperfections. That connects you with people, and just

735
00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:56,200
Speaker 1: for everybody to remember, you were born to do something

736
00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:59,040
Speaker 1: great with your life, and when you were a little

737
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:01,760
Speaker 1: boy or a little girl, there was probably one person

738
00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:05,080
Speaker 1: who made you feel that way, and you ought to

739
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:07,120
Speaker 1: give yourself the gifts right now of who is that person?

740
00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:08,960
Speaker 1: When you're a little girl or a little boy, they

741
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:12,360
Speaker 1: made you feel special, and there's probably only one, maybe two.

742
00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:15,080
Speaker 1: Maybe it was your parents, or your grandmother or a grandfather,

743
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:18,880
Speaker 1: a coach, a religious figure. There's someone that was in

744
00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:21,840
Speaker 1: your life and that you felt something about you because

745
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:24,160
Speaker 1: of the way they looked at you or spoke to you.

746
00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:28,440
Speaker 1: And the amazing thing about that is they were right

747
00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:32,680
Speaker 1: about you. They were right for me. It was my Papa,

748
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:35,520
Speaker 1: my dad's dad. I'm named after him, and used to

749
00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:37,400
Speaker 1: drive he pick me up on Sundays. We'd go get

750
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:40,160
Speaker 1: donuts Jade to get for my cousins before church, and

751
00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:42,880
Speaker 1: he'd drive me. I'd look up at Big Papa. Everyone

752
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:45,240
Speaker 1: when you think about that person, you'll get emotional for

753
00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:48,600
Speaker 1: you at your mom right, and he would look down

754
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:52,280
Speaker 1: at me and he'd go, Eddie, you're my favorite. He

755
00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:54,520
Speaker 1: had all these great kids. You're my favorite. You're amazing.

756
00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 1: You're gonna do something great with your life. You're the

757
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:59,120
Speaker 1: special I go. I am, Big Papa, I am. And

758
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:01,920
Speaker 1: this little boy could feel his belief and his love.

759
00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:04,960
Speaker 1: He was the only person who ever treated me that way.

760
00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:07,120
Speaker 1: The rest of the world's never treated me that way,

761
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:10,640
Speaker 1: but Big Papa did. And then when other grandkids were born.

762
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:12,600
Speaker 1: I remember my cousin Peter was born in Jay you'll

763
00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:14,600
Speaker 1: laugh at this, and he called me. He goes, hey,

764
00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:18,360
Speaker 1: your cousin Peter was born today. He's amazing, six pounds

765
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:21,000
Speaker 1: seven ounces. He's got our blue eyes. Eddie and I go, oh,

766
00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:22,400
Speaker 1: that's awesome, Big Papa.

767
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:24,000
Speaker 2: And he go, but you're my favorite.

768
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:27,640
Speaker 1: You're my favorite, and all my life I've carried that

769
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:31,239
Speaker 1: feeling from Big Papa with me. And the truth is,

770
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:33,200
Speaker 1: if you've had that person in your life, they were

771
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:36,400
Speaker 1: right about you. Yes, you're supposed to do something great

772
00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:38,960
Speaker 1: with your life. And the reason it makes you emotional

773
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:41,400
Speaker 1: when you think about it now is because it's true

774
00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:45,719
Speaker 1: and truth vibrates at the highest frequency. So if you're

775
00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:48,400
Speaker 1: listening to this or watching it, it's like, have that reminder,

776
00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:51,839
Speaker 1: give yourself the gift. Maybe your Big Papa's gone now

777
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:55,240
Speaker 1: and not even hear anymore. Honor them with who you become.

778
00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:57,960
Speaker 1: Honor them with the life you build, Honor them with

779
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:01,680
Speaker 1: the choices you make. And take that belief. Imagine what

780
00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:04,160
Speaker 1: God believes in you. If that person believes in you,

781
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:07,080
Speaker 1: take that belief and use it as fuel in your

782
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:09,799
Speaker 1: life to have some strength and confidence to shift other

783
00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:12,879
Speaker 1: people's lives. And that's for me. That was Big Papa.

784
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:15,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know you. I was going back with you

785
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:18,319
Speaker 2: when you were saying it. And there's something known as

786
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:24,160
Speaker 2: a loving kindness meditation. It's very popular in Buddhism in Hinduism,

787
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:29,239
Speaker 2: there's a similar practice and I led this meditation when

788
00:35:29,239 --> 00:35:32,200
Speaker 2: I was on tour with every audience across the whole world.

789
00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:35,279
Speaker 2: And what you have to do in this meditation is

790
00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:36,600
Speaker 2: you have to close your eyes and you have to

791
00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:42,719
Speaker 2: allow yourself to reexperience a moment you felt the most love.

792
00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:45,800
Speaker 2: For some people, it's their wedding day. For some people

793
00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 2: it's their car with their grandpa. For some person it's

794
00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:50,719
Speaker 2: their mother, whatever it may be. And you have to

795
00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:54,080
Speaker 2: relive it, feel it through the five things you can see,

796
00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:56,680
Speaker 2: the four things you can touch, the three things you

797
00:35:56,719 --> 00:35:59,160
Speaker 2: can hear, the two things you can smell, and the

798
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:02,840
Speaker 2: one thing you can really immerse yourself in it and

799
00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:06,120
Speaker 2: then feel it in your heart and then feel it

800
00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:09,960
Speaker 2: cascade from your heart all across your body. And then

801
00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:12,680
Speaker 2: if you try and give it out to your friends

802
00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:16,520
Speaker 2: and family, to the stranger at the restaurant, to the

803
00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:20,280
Speaker 2: rest of the world. It's so possible because you're feeling

804
00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:24,399
Speaker 2: as you're saying, that will never run out man your

805
00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:26,759
Speaker 2: memory of your grandpa saying that to you, that will

806
00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:30,920
Speaker 2: never ever expire. It will always be there. And the

807
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:34,640
Speaker 2: amount that can be recycled into giving love to others

808
00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:37,840
Speaker 2: and to feeling loved always, Whereas what we do is

809
00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:39,919
Speaker 2: we try and set for the next person to love us.

810
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:42,520
Speaker 2: We're setting for that next person to say something amazing

811
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:45,640
Speaker 2: about us, and with that you're always running out because

812
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:47,200
Speaker 2: it comes once and it goes, and it comes and

813
00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:50,120
Speaker 2: it goes. Whereas that one person you're so right, that

814
00:36:50,239 --> 00:36:51,239
Speaker 2: loved you gay.

815
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:55,000
Speaker 1: This is an all time great conversation, right, it's because

816
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:58,640
Speaker 1: we just went I think there's a validity to what

817
00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:01,200
Speaker 1: you just said to a true that's just so profound.

818
00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:04,560
Speaker 1: It's very difficult in life to transfer to somebody that

819
00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:08,440
Speaker 1: which you're not experiencing. So in order to transfer true

820
00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:10,640
Speaker 1: love and true belief in somebody, you have to be

821
00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:12,880
Speaker 1: experiencing it so that you can give it to somebody.

822
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:15,160
Speaker 1: And so given yourself that gift allows you to give

823
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:17,680
Speaker 1: it an abundance to other people. Ya, that's really good,

824
00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:19,160
Speaker 1: that's awesome meditation.

825
00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:21,399
Speaker 2: I think one of the reasons again, while we get along,

826
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:23,600
Speaker 2: but why we're having this conversation is that we both

827
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:27,560
Speaker 2: believe in this paradox, so we're both talking about currently

828
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:29,680
Speaker 2: at the beginning of this conversation have talked about very

829
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:36,000
Speaker 2: like spiritual emotional universal ideas of existence, but at the

830
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:38,120
Speaker 2: same time we're both good at getting stuff done.

831
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:41,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, just yes, not all philosophy correct, right, And I.

832
00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:44,239
Speaker 2: Think that's something that I've always tried to do in

833
00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:47,160
Speaker 2: my work, where it's like I don't want anyone in

834
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:49,800
Speaker 2: the world to just think that, oh, if I change

835
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:52,960
Speaker 2: my mindset, everything's just because I don't want to fool

836
00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:55,120
Speaker 2: people and I don't want to mislead people, because I

837
00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:59,520
Speaker 2: know in my life that spirituality and strategy have had

838
00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:03,000
Speaker 2: to go to get that sincerity and structure have had

839
00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:06,640
Speaker 2: to go together, and I find that that combination is

840
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:10,960
Speaker 2: what's allowed me to live a fulfilling and successful life

841
00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:12,480
Speaker 2: and continue to create it.

842
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:14,759
Speaker 1: You ever made a decision unless you've taken an action

843
00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:17,520
Speaker 1: to validate it, Yes, exactly, And that's the thing that

844
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:19,680
Speaker 1: you're exactly right. People that come to our events or

845
00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:21,680
Speaker 1: may just hear this conversation, go, oh, I just really

846
00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:23,960
Speaker 1: need to sit around and really vibrate high and think

847
00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:25,920
Speaker 1: about things. No, you don't. You have to put your

848
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:27,520
Speaker 1: feet on the ground and you've got to go to work,

849
00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:29,400
Speaker 1: and you've got to go The real truth is if

850
00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:31,719
Speaker 1: you've made a decision, and it's real you'll validate it

851
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:33,880
Speaker 1: with your work. You'll validate it with your effort and

852
00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:36,279
Speaker 1: the choices that you make. And the truth is this, Like,

853
00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:37,879
Speaker 1: here's the other thing. A lot of my confidence comes

854
00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:39,719
Speaker 1: from I'll I'll be candid with you, and I know

855
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:43,399
Speaker 1: this about you. I'm going to outwork you. Here's the truth.

856
00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:45,960
Speaker 1: I'm going to outwork you. One thing I learned from

857
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:48,640
Speaker 1: my dad is that, listen, a lot of my confidence

858
00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:50,360
Speaker 1: comes from the fact that I deserve to win. And

859
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:52,839
Speaker 1: I deserve to win because I'm working my tail off,

860
00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:55,760
Speaker 1: and I don't think enough people give themselves the gift

861
00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:58,520
Speaker 1: of just super hard work. I mean, I know your schedule,

862
00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:00,799
Speaker 1: you know mine. We were talking about that. But the

863
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:03,120
Speaker 1: truth I've just this is just something I'm saying. If

864
00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:04,919
Speaker 1: I don't validate with an action, it's like you said

865
00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:07,799
Speaker 1: with your books, like I love you. No, that's a verb.

866
00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:11,160
Speaker 1: There's an action that's taken to validate that I love you.

867
00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:13,960
Speaker 1: There's things I can do to give evidence of the

868
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:15,879
Speaker 1: fact that I love you. And so no, you can't

869
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:17,640
Speaker 1: just sit around and think about these things. You've got

870
00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:20,000
Speaker 1: to get to work. You've got to implement them. And then,

871
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:22,120
Speaker 1: by the way, when you do that all. Listen. The

872
00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:23,839
Speaker 1: reason I can speak with such clarity on this stuff

873
00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:26,319
Speaker 1: is I've done them there. I've been in situations where

874
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:28,759
Speaker 1: this stuff has been tested and tried and true. So

875
00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:32,840
Speaker 1: I'm a huge, huge advocate of work of taking the

876
00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:35,239
Speaker 1: steps necessary to do it. And I know that that's

877
00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:37,480
Speaker 1: something with you. Like when I met you, I had

878
00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:39,880
Speaker 1: a notion about you that wasn't accurate, which was that

879
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:42,120
Speaker 1: you were more of just this. Listen, We're just going

880
00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:44,000
Speaker 1: to get quiet and meditate and empty our minds here

881
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:45,640
Speaker 1: and everything we want is going to come our way.

882
00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:47,600
Speaker 1: Then I met you and I said this to you

883
00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:50,799
Speaker 1: off camera. There's a fire and an intensity and a

884
00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:54,360
Speaker 1: work ethic to Jay that I think would surprise most people.

885
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:59,520
Speaker 1: You're this very unique combination of this very trankful, peaceful,

886
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:03,719
Speaker 1: loving kind being who's also wound tight and wants to

887
00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:06,480
Speaker 1: win and is intense and it's going to make things happen,

888
00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:10,080
Speaker 1: and wants to max out his life and isn't just

889
00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:11,879
Speaker 1: sitting around waiting for it to come his way. He's

890
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:13,440
Speaker 1: going to get a lot of it. And that's one

891
00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:14,560
Speaker 1: of the things I admire about you.

892
00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:18,880
Speaker 2: Absolutely, walk me through how you've translated that grace that loved,

893
00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:23,359
Speaker 2: that kindness into a plan for like twenty twenty four

894
00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:25,600
Speaker 2: Like how do you translate that? Like what does your

895
00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:28,120
Speaker 2: day look like? What does a quota look like? You've

896
00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:31,279
Speaker 2: built businesses that are successful. I want to know that

897
00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:34,640
Speaker 2: part because I love that that connection that I'm trying

898
00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:38,200
Speaker 2: to make here between this sincere heart with this strategic mind.

899
00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:41,560
Speaker 1: It is my perception of time, and so I have

900
00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:45,520
Speaker 1: I believe you can bend and manipulate time, and so

901
00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:48,400
Speaker 1: here's what that looks like. I don't buy into a

902
00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:53,200
Speaker 1: twenty four hour day. That's an archaic timeframe. See, you

903
00:40:53,239 --> 00:40:55,319
Speaker 1: and I live in an age where think about it,

904
00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:57,480
Speaker 1: one hundred years ago, if I wanted to get something done,

905
00:40:57,520 --> 00:40:59,720
Speaker 1: I'd have to write it down somewhere, stick a stamp

906
00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:01,040
Speaker 1: on it, or put it on the back of a

907
00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:03,799
Speaker 1: horse a few hundred years ago, and you'd get it

908
00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:05,960
Speaker 1: in a month, and then you'd translate to get it

909
00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:07,239
Speaker 1: back to me in a month. Now I can text

910
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:09,080
Speaker 1: you in three seconds, but we're both going to manage

911
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:11,760
Speaker 1: time in twenty four hours. When I was in school,

912
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:14,640
Speaker 1: I had to go to a library to research something

913
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:18,319
Speaker 1: in a thing called an encyclopedia, right, and then write

914
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:20,840
Speaker 1: it all down, type it on a typewriter. If you

915
00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:23,240
Speaker 1: make one key mistake, you got to redo it. Now

916
00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:25,560
Speaker 1: I can google it, print it out and it's done.

917
00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:29,319
Speaker 1: Yet the same timeframes are managed. And so that's insane, right,

918
00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:31,640
Speaker 1: I can email, I can text, I have got all

919
00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:33,920
Speaker 1: these things on my phone. So we're still operating the

920
00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:37,239
Speaker 1: same time construct as people did fifty years ago, one

921
00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:40,440
Speaker 1: hundred years ago, two hundred years ago. That is insane.

922
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:42,640
Speaker 1: And so I have a huge advantage in my life

923
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:45,319
Speaker 1: that my days are mini days, and so I have

924
00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:47,279
Speaker 1: three eight hour days in a day. I get twenty

925
00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:49,959
Speaker 1: one days in a week, twenty one days in a week,

926
00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:53,200
Speaker 1: and so my first day is six am to noon,

927
00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:55,879
Speaker 1: and in that day, we've all had that day where

928
00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:57,560
Speaker 1: we go, Man, I've got more by eight am done

929
00:41:57,560 --> 00:41:59,399
Speaker 1: than I've done in a week. That should be every

930
00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:01,919
Speaker 1: day if you want it to be. It's your expectation

931
00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:05,359
Speaker 1: of time. Here's the thing. When something is scarce, it's

932
00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:08,799
Speaker 1: more valuable. Okay. So that's why a diamond is worth

933
00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:11,040
Speaker 1: more than a piece of paper, because it's more scarce.

934
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:15,080
Speaker 1: When your time becomes more scarce, it becomes more valuable.

935
00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:18,359
Speaker 1: And other people treat you with more value. So that's

936
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:20,160
Speaker 1: one benefit. But my first day six am to noon,

937
00:42:20,239 --> 00:42:21,960
Speaker 1: and in there, I'm trying to get in there the

938
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:25,640
Speaker 1: amount of productivity, joy, business, fitness, whatever it might be

939
00:42:25,719 --> 00:42:27,440
Speaker 1: that I would get in a twenty four hour day,

940
00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:31,240
Speaker 1: compressed and manipulated that time to the eight hour window.

941
00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:34,399
Speaker 1: Why because of all the technology at my advantage. Now,

942
00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:36,879
Speaker 1: there may be some days that's a netflix and chill

943
00:42:36,920 --> 00:42:38,120
Speaker 1: day for me. I'm not saying you have to be

944
00:42:38,200 --> 00:42:41,160
Speaker 1: hyper productive. That's okay that maybe on Sundays a lot

945
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:42,960
Speaker 1: of people have that. I'll have a day like that,

946
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:45,160
Speaker 1: but it's not every day. And so the second day

947
00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:47,839
Speaker 1: starts at noon and it runs all the way. Usually

948
00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:50,239
Speaker 1: sometimes I even shrink them to six hours. Sometimes sometimes

949
00:42:50,239 --> 00:42:52,160
Speaker 1: I'll go six am to noon, so that's a six

950
00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:54,480
Speaker 1: hour window. I give myself a two hour buffer. The

951
00:42:54,520 --> 00:42:56,799
Speaker 1: second day starts from noon to six pm, and in

952
00:42:56,840 --> 00:42:59,320
Speaker 1: that second day, I'm trying to get the same amount

953
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:01,680
Speaker 1: of stuff I would get in in a twenty four

954
00:43:01,719 --> 00:43:04,080
Speaker 1: hour day in my six to eight hour window. This year,

955
00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:07,120
Speaker 1: there's six hour days. There's six am to noon, noon

956
00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:09,560
Speaker 1: to six pm, and six pm to midnight. Now I'm

957
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:11,080
Speaker 1: gonna sleep in there. I'm gonna get rest, I'm gonna

958
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:13,120
Speaker 1: have laughter, I'm gonna have faith, I'm gonna have cooling

959
00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:16,560
Speaker 1: at time. But now what happens is about noon. Every day,

960
00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:19,759
Speaker 1: this thing goes off in my head and I evaluate,

961
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:21,040
Speaker 1: what did I get done? What do I need to

962
00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:23,440
Speaker 1: double my efforts on, what can I celebrate? What did

963
00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:25,600
Speaker 1: I learn? So when an average person does it at

964
00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:27,680
Speaker 1: the end of their day, I'm doing it at noon,

965
00:43:27,760 --> 00:43:30,880
Speaker 1: and it now automatically goes off. It's weird. My mind

966
00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:34,160
Speaker 1: knows when noon is, and it knows when six pm is,

967
00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:36,560
Speaker 1: and the same thing happens at six pm. And then

968
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:38,400
Speaker 1: I'll run it again. And so I'm getting twenty one

969
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:41,200
Speaker 1: days a week. You stack that time frame up over

970
00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:43,840
Speaker 1: a year. When you get seven days, and I'm managing

971
00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:48,040
Speaker 1: time this way. I compressed and bent time. I'm probably

972
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:51,400
Speaker 1: gonna win. You stack that up over a year, five years,

973
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:54,000
Speaker 1: ten years, and all of a sudden, I've had all

974
00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:55,840
Speaker 1: these more days. And here's the other thing. I just

975
00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:59,120
Speaker 1: get a longer life. I'm getting multiple lives in one life,

976
00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:02,160
Speaker 1: simply because I've taken control of what time looks like.

977
00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:03,799
Speaker 1: So they used to be eight hour days. You asked

978
00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:06,719
Speaker 1: about twenty twenty four, they're now six hour days, and

979
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:09,239
Speaker 1: so I've get more done oftentimes by ten am than

980
00:44:09,239 --> 00:44:11,120
Speaker 1: most people will get done in a twenty four hour day.

981
00:44:11,239 --> 00:44:13,760
Speaker 1: And here's what that here's what that looks like really quickly.

982
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:16,160
Speaker 1: Too many people schedule one hour long meetings. If we're

983
00:44:16,160 --> 00:44:18,000
Speaker 1: going to be tactical, most meetings don't need to be

984
00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:20,320
Speaker 1: an hour, but we schedule them an hour because everybody's

985
00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:22,440
Speaker 1: always done that. So my team knows, is this a

986
00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:25,120
Speaker 1: twenty eight minute meeting? Is this a five minute meeting?

987
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:27,799
Speaker 1: Very rarely of the hour long meetings, because when you

988
00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:30,000
Speaker 1: have an hour long meeting, now you're pacing yourself to

989
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:32,279
Speaker 1: fill the hour in. But I've only got a six

990
00:44:32,320 --> 00:44:33,879
Speaker 1: hour a day here, So there's a lot of twenty

991
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 1: eight minute long meetings that other people are taking an

992
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:38,839
Speaker 1: hour to do. We're just that much more productive, that

993
00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:41,439
Speaker 1: much more efficient in our time. And so that's how

994
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:44,399
Speaker 1: you actually get the day done is because this one

995
00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:46,440
Speaker 1: hour concept is that you say I'll meet you at

996
00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:48,439
Speaker 1: nine o'clock. I got nine to ten blocked off. Well,

997
00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:51,239
Speaker 1: why most meetings don't need to be an hour long.

998
00:44:51,360 --> 00:44:54,040
Speaker 1: Most business meetings don't. Most conversations don't, and that, by

999
00:44:54,040 --> 00:44:55,799
Speaker 1: the way, will give me more time. Maybe my lunch

1000
00:44:55,840 --> 00:44:57,280
Speaker 1: is now an hour and a half with a friend

1001
00:44:57,600 --> 00:44:59,919
Speaker 1: because I've bent a manipulated time in my I called

1002
00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:00,800
Speaker 1: mini days.

1003
00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:03,719
Speaker 2: That's so I'm so happy you shaid that, because I

1004
00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:07,760
Speaker 2: just just even that concept of us understanding how we're

1005
00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:11,719
Speaker 2: using time in an archaic way and thinking about how

1006
00:45:11,719 --> 00:45:14,280
Speaker 2: many hours in a day in an archaic ways bananas

1007
00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:16,400
Speaker 2: to me. Concept and in itself is mind man.

1008
00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:18,520
Speaker 1: And you can create your own version of a mini day.

1009
00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:20,600
Speaker 1: Maybe you're gonna have two. Maybe you're gonna break your

1010
00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:22,800
Speaker 1: day into two. You know me, it was eight hours

1011
00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:24,880
Speaker 1: and I've moved it to six, and I felt no difference.

1012
00:45:25,280 --> 00:45:27,760
Speaker 1: But I love that time clock. There's not enough time.

1013
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:30,799
Speaker 1: Most people evaluate their goals, like really productive people, they'll

1014
00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:33,040
Speaker 1: do it at the end of a day, in the middle,

1015
00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:35,120
Speaker 1: maybe the end of a month. How did my January go?

1016
00:45:35,200 --> 00:45:36,759
Speaker 1: And you know this, most people it's the end of

1017
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:39,279
Speaker 1: the year. So most people's a year. Some will do

1018
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:41,560
Speaker 1: it a month, really productive people, maybe the end of

1019
00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:43,680
Speaker 1: the day. I'm doing that three times in a twenty

1020
00:45:43,680 --> 00:45:47,760
Speaker 1: four hour day. Now, the breakthroughs, the learning, the course correction,

1021
00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:50,759
Speaker 1: the strategic moves. I make that get me back on

1022
00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:53,839
Speaker 1: track when I'm off track, and my bad days are

1023
00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:56,960
Speaker 1: only six hours long, right, so that gives me permission

1024
00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:58,920
Speaker 1: to shift at noon. Okay, this is a new day,

1025
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:01,000
Speaker 1: get I get a do over, I get to start again.

1026
00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:03,759
Speaker 1: So it's just a matter of using a time construct

1027
00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:05,640
Speaker 1: that fits with technology in these times.

1028
00:46:05,800 --> 00:46:07,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's almost like saying, yeah, we're driving cars now,

1029
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:09,960
Speaker 2: but it would take me a month to get tonight. Yeah,

1030
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:10,640
Speaker 2: it doesn't make.

1031
00:46:10,520 --> 00:46:13,080
Speaker 1: Any make any sense to a twenty four Wow.

1032
00:46:12,719 --> 00:46:15,160
Speaker 2: What's been the habit? Because you also said you shifted

1033
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:18,120
Speaker 2: from eight hour days to six hour days. Why, First

1034
00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:19,640
Speaker 2: of all, why did you do that? What was the

1035
00:46:19,640 --> 00:46:20,200
Speaker 2: benefit of that?

1036
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:22,840
Speaker 1: The shift for me was that it was the one hours.

1037
00:46:22,840 --> 00:46:24,560
Speaker 1: I'm like, why am I taking these one hour long

1038
00:46:24,560 --> 00:46:27,239
Speaker 1: meetings if I'm moving to twenty eight minutes? And by

1039
00:46:27,280 --> 00:46:30,680
Speaker 1: the way, it's awesome, and even you and I, even

1040
00:46:30,680 --> 00:46:32,600
Speaker 1: when we communicate, it's oftentimes it's like you and I

1041
00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:35,359
Speaker 1: have these beautiful quick conversations. But they by the way,

1042
00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:36,560
Speaker 1: there are some times with my friends I need to

1043
00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:38,640
Speaker 1: go deep and we need three or four five hours.

1044
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:40,720
Speaker 1: But I also I know there's a lot of times

1045
00:46:40,719 --> 00:46:42,440
Speaker 1: in life, Like you ever have that friend that doesn't

1046
00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:44,960
Speaker 1: know when the text exchange is done, you know that

1047
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:46,799
Speaker 1: versu Andy, You're like, all right, man, we've got okay,

1048
00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:48,680
Speaker 1: it's over now, Like we're both going to go now

1049
00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:50,840
Speaker 1: text other people or do other things. I've just gotten

1050
00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:53,279
Speaker 1: a little bit better at buttoning things up, you know,

1051
00:46:53,400 --> 00:46:56,840
Speaker 1: so to speak to I phraseology and terminology. I was

1052
00:46:56,880 --> 00:46:59,200
Speaker 1: in a meeting a long time ago with Alex Rodriguez.

1053
00:46:59,239 --> 00:47:01,200
Speaker 1: I'll never forget this. It was a really great meeting.

1054
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:03,919
Speaker 1: And I know you know you know them as well.

1055
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:06,319
Speaker 1: And so I was a meeting with Alex, and I'll

1056
00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:08,080
Speaker 1: never forget he said, he's a gracious duty, he's a

1057
00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:10,160
Speaker 1: good dude. But our meeting was supposed to end at

1058
00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:12,839
Speaker 1: one o'clock in the afternoon. And I remember we were

1059
00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:15,480
Speaker 1: in the middle of something and I was at his

1060
00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:18,000
Speaker 1: house and we were actually we were actually was back then.

1061
00:47:18,080 --> 00:47:19,840
Speaker 1: It was actually a j Loo's house, but Alex was

1062
00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:22,960
Speaker 1: there anyway, And I remember at about twelve fifty eight

1063
00:47:22,960 --> 00:47:25,640
Speaker 1: he looked at his watch and that gave me a cue.

1064
00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:28,799
Speaker 1: And at one o'clock he just stood up kind of

1065
00:47:28,800 --> 00:47:31,440
Speaker 1: in the middle of the meeting, and that signified the

1066
00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:34,440
Speaker 1: meeting was over, and it wasn't rude. His team just

1067
00:47:34,520 --> 00:47:37,319
Speaker 1: knows when the meeting times up, we're done, we're done.

1068
00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:39,160
Speaker 1: And what that is that's set a context and a

1069
00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:41,320
Speaker 1: tone that when we have a meeting that's this long,

1070
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:43,600
Speaker 1: that's how long it is. And setting up those kind

1071
00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:47,520
Speaker 1: of disciplines and kind of barriers around your life, guardrails

1072
00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:49,000
Speaker 1: around your life, protects your time.

1073
00:47:49,239 --> 00:47:52,440
Speaker 2: And it's uncomfortable to do that because we feel as

1074
00:47:52,480 --> 00:47:55,120
Speaker 2: people please is which a lot of us are. We're

1075
00:47:55,200 --> 00:47:57,719
Speaker 2: scared to do that because we're thinking, oh God, if

1076
00:47:57,719 --> 00:47:59,799
Speaker 2: I stand up, is everyone going to think like I'm

1077
00:47:59,840 --> 00:48:03,160
Speaker 2: like stuck up? Like you know, there's gonna be that sense.

1078
00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:06,640
Speaker 2: How do you deal with that discomfort and that awkwardness

1079
00:48:07,080 --> 00:48:10,879
Speaker 2: of I'm setting a boundary to protect myself, but I'm

1080
00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:12,319
Speaker 2: scared how people are going to perceive me.

1081
00:48:12,440 --> 00:48:14,879
Speaker 1: It's just being gracious when you do it. And it's

1082
00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:18,160
Speaker 1: also eventually, what I've found is, like I said earlier,

1083
00:48:18,200 --> 00:48:21,160
Speaker 1: people now respect my time a little bit more. I

1084
00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:25,120
Speaker 1: become more listen. There's a pace in a rhythm to success.

1085
00:48:24,880 --> 00:48:27,000
Speaker 1: Here's something no one talks about when it comes to

1086
00:48:27,040 --> 00:48:30,360
Speaker 1: success and being productive. And you know this. There's a

1087
00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:33,160
Speaker 1: rhythm and a cadence to it. It's an invisible thing

1088
00:48:33,480 --> 00:48:36,000
Speaker 1: that the people that are winning somehow have found themselves.

1089
00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:38,360
Speaker 1: You know this with the actors, you've worked with their entertainers.

1090
00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:41,080
Speaker 1: It's hard to express, but they found a rhythm and

1091
00:48:41,120 --> 00:48:45,200
Speaker 1: a cadence to their life that creates momentum in their life.

1092
00:48:45,200 --> 00:48:48,759
Speaker 1: Momentum is a major magnifier in life. When you get momentum,

1093
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:51,479
Speaker 1: but there's a rhythm to it. And when you sort

1094
00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:53,800
Speaker 1: of aren't disciplined with your time and a meeting runs

1095
00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:56,120
Speaker 1: over ten minutes or twenty minutes, you are not in

1096
00:48:56,239 --> 00:48:59,879
Speaker 1: the rhythm of success. There's a pace. It's not her

1097
00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:03,960
Speaker 1: it's not hurry or rush, but it's a little quicker

1098
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:07,920
Speaker 1: than most people. Though successful people walk a little faster.

1099
00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:10,799
Speaker 1: They're in a little bit more of a hurry. They

1100
00:49:10,840 --> 00:49:13,200
Speaker 1: talk a little faster. There's a rhythm and a pace

1101
00:49:13,239 --> 00:49:17,240
Speaker 1: and a intensity, a passion to the dialogue and the conversation.

1102
00:49:17,320 --> 00:49:20,279
Speaker 1: You know exactly what I mean, and it's invisible. Maybe

1103
00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:22,400
Speaker 1: you can express it well right now too, have you

1104
00:49:22,520 --> 00:49:25,719
Speaker 1: seen it? And until you find that you're not really

1105
00:49:25,800 --> 00:49:29,000
Speaker 1: in the rhythm of hyper productivity or bliss or success,

1106
00:49:29,680 --> 00:49:33,160
Speaker 1: and when you're around people that possess that rhythm, you

1107
00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:36,839
Speaker 1: feel it, and that isn't demeaning when they do it.

1108
00:49:36,880 --> 00:49:39,759
Speaker 1: There's a graciousness to it and a respect you have

1109
00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:42,960
Speaker 1: that they respect themselves, and you enough in that moment

1110
00:49:43,520 --> 00:49:46,480
Speaker 1: to be organized enough and disciplined enough not to let

1111
00:49:46,520 --> 00:49:48,359
Speaker 1: it bleed into a place that it doesn't need to go.

1112
00:49:48,400 --> 00:49:48,960
Speaker 1: You know what I mean?

1113
00:49:49,040 --> 00:49:52,279
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, it's actually looping back. I'm so glad you

1114
00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:55,160
Speaker 2: raised that because it's such a subtle point, and to me,

1115
00:49:55,239 --> 00:49:57,600
Speaker 2: it comes back down to something I raised earlier, of

1116
00:49:57,600 --> 00:50:00,640
Speaker 2: this energy and time balance, because the question I ask

1117
00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:04,920
Speaker 2: myself is the time that I set the meeting is

1118
00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:07,560
Speaker 2: based on when I think my energy will be best,

1119
00:50:08,120 --> 00:50:10,600
Speaker 2: And the amount of time I give a meeting is

1120
00:50:10,640 --> 00:50:13,840
Speaker 2: the amount of time I can give intense, hundred percent energy.

1121
00:50:14,200 --> 00:50:16,560
Speaker 2: So I'm not For example, when I'm recording a podcast,

1122
00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:19,719
Speaker 2: we do two podcasts a day maximum. The reason for

1123
00:50:19,800 --> 00:50:22,080
Speaker 2: that is I know if I did a third one,

1124
00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:24,560
Speaker 2: I have the time to do a third one, but

1125
00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:26,880
Speaker 2: my energy is not there. My presence is not that

1126
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:30,200
Speaker 2: I'm not at a one hundred percent intensity, which means

1127
00:50:30,239 --> 00:50:32,879
Speaker 2: the quality drops really, so it's also not just doing more,

1128
00:50:32,880 --> 00:50:34,520
Speaker 2: as you're saying. It's not just doing more because I

1129
00:50:34,520 --> 00:50:36,520
Speaker 2: can squeeze more in a day. I just know the

1130
00:50:36,520 --> 00:50:38,239
Speaker 2: third podcast is going to be the worst one that

1131
00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:40,080
Speaker 2: I record, and so we don't do it.

1132
00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:41,879
Speaker 1: By the way, you should have told me that about

1133
00:50:41,920 --> 00:50:44,840
Speaker 1: two years ago. Ah No, seriously, that you're one hundred

1134
00:50:44,880 --> 00:50:47,120
Speaker 1: percent right. And I make that mistake sometimes of doing

1135
00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:48,640
Speaker 1: four in a day, and it's not fair to the

1136
00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:50,480
Speaker 1: third and fourth person. It's not going to do it.

1137
00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:51,840
Speaker 2: You might be able to do it. We all have

1138
00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:52,560
Speaker 2: different capacities.

1139
00:50:52,760 --> 00:50:54,240
Speaker 1: You're right. And the other thing I do in my schedule,

1140
00:50:54,239 --> 00:50:56,960
Speaker 1: since we're being tactical, is I like to load up

1141
00:50:57,040 --> 00:51:00,560
Speaker 1: my Mondays and Tuesdays with heavy things early in my week,

1142
00:51:00,600 --> 00:51:02,920
Speaker 1: and I like the later part of my week to

1143
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:05,239
Speaker 1: be a little bit more peaceful and joyous, so that

1144
00:51:05,280 --> 00:51:07,400
Speaker 1: I'm sort of building towards it's almost like my super

1145
00:51:07,440 --> 00:51:09,560
Speaker 1: Bowl almost my Mondays and Tuesdays those are going to

1146
00:51:09,600 --> 00:51:11,680
Speaker 1: be heavy days. The other thing I do is my

1147
00:51:11,840 --> 00:51:14,600
Speaker 1: most important meetings. I kind of know me. I'm not

1148
00:51:14,680 --> 00:51:17,919
Speaker 1: particularly a great early morning person, nor am I great

1149
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:20,520
Speaker 1: late at night. I'm really in a good space about

1150
00:51:20,520 --> 00:51:22,719
Speaker 1: when we're recording this right now. That's sort of noon

1151
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:25,160
Speaker 1: to three pm window for me. I don't know if

1152
00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:27,719
Speaker 1: I'm the most hydrated. I've already worked out, so my

1153
00:51:28,160 --> 00:51:31,240
Speaker 1: really important meetings I try to schedule in my highest

1154
00:51:31,320 --> 00:51:34,239
Speaker 1: energy state when I know I'm peeking in my given day.

1155
00:51:34,320 --> 00:51:35,759
Speaker 1: So you're one hundred percent right about that.

1156
00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:38,440
Speaker 2: And I think these are the mechanics of how you

1157
00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:42,200
Speaker 2: connect energy and the real world, because you can't just

1158
00:51:42,280 --> 00:51:44,560
Speaker 2: say I worked out this morning, I feel good, Everything's

1159
00:51:44,600 --> 00:51:46,040
Speaker 2: going to go all right now. And I think we

1160
00:51:46,120 --> 00:51:49,040
Speaker 2: have that kind of we have this checklist mentality of

1161
00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:51,759
Speaker 2: if I've done these three things, then everything else will

1162
00:51:51,800 --> 00:51:54,640
Speaker 2: go okay. But actually all the other stuff needs to

1163
00:51:54,640 --> 00:51:58,040
Speaker 2: be managed and intentionally designed. I think I've been talking

1164
00:51:58,040 --> 00:52:00,759
Speaker 2: a lot about this recently with people that I think

1165
00:52:00,840 --> 00:52:03,759
Speaker 2: often we think if people are casual or relaxed or

1166
00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:06,960
Speaker 2: laid back, then things will work out better. But actually

1167
00:52:07,080 --> 00:52:12,400
Speaker 2: you find, as you're saying, most success, productivity and joyfulness

1168
00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:17,759
Speaker 2: is intentionally designed in order to create an experience. And

1169
00:52:18,280 --> 00:52:19,879
Speaker 2: I wanted to get your thoughts on that, Like.

1170
00:52:20,040 --> 00:52:22,960
Speaker 1: You're a billion percent right, Yeah, the higher you climb,

1171
00:52:23,040 --> 00:52:25,759
Speaker 1: there's all this other stimulus happening in your life. Right So,

1172
00:52:26,160 --> 00:52:28,560
Speaker 1: if you don't create those constructs now, when you get

1173
00:52:28,600 --> 00:52:30,960
Speaker 1: to a point where you get the things you want

1174
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:33,719
Speaker 1: in your life, the demands on your energy and time

1175
00:52:33,880 --> 00:52:37,600
Speaker 1: only increase, and your ability to manage that and create

1176
00:52:37,680 --> 00:52:41,560
Speaker 1: structures around you that keep you productive. That's a huge

1177
00:52:41,840 --> 00:52:44,320
Speaker 1: thing you've just shared. I've watched a lot of people

1178
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:47,160
Speaker 1: climb to a point, and when they get to that point,

1179
00:52:47,200 --> 00:52:50,880
Speaker 1: they didn't create new structures around them to support the

1180
00:52:50,920 --> 00:52:54,719
Speaker 1: next level. Every level you climb requires a different type

1181
00:52:54,719 --> 00:52:57,200
Speaker 1: of energy and structure. And so some things, even that

1182
00:52:57,239 --> 00:52:59,799
Speaker 1: I'm doing right now, I know maybe four or five

1183
00:52:59,840 --> 00:53:03,120
Speaker 1: ye now, I'm gonna have to reevaluate those that will

1184
00:53:03,239 --> 00:53:06,200
Speaker 1: change with the conditions of my life. For me right now,

1185
00:53:06,400 --> 00:53:09,600
Speaker 1: as busy as I am, it requires more intent to

1186
00:53:09,680 --> 00:53:12,320
Speaker 1: structure than ever in my life. And if I didn't

1187
00:53:12,320 --> 00:53:14,759
Speaker 1: create them when things weren't quite this busy, I don't

1188
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:17,680
Speaker 1: think I would have continued to flowed into the next state.

1189
00:53:18,400 --> 00:53:20,320
Speaker 1: And I've watched a lot of people get to a

1190
00:53:20,400 --> 00:53:23,680
Speaker 1: place and then they can't navigate that next level because

1191
00:53:23,680 --> 00:53:26,080
Speaker 1: of the structure, maybe the lack of a team around them,

1192
00:53:26,400 --> 00:53:29,800
Speaker 1: quality people management of those things, and so I'm always

1193
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:34,040
Speaker 1: trying to be ahead structurally to my results. What most

1194
00:53:34,040 --> 00:53:36,239
Speaker 1: people think is I'm going to produce this thing and

1195
00:53:36,239 --> 00:53:38,200
Speaker 1: then when I get there, I'll figure it out from there.

1196
00:53:38,360 --> 00:53:41,080
Speaker 1: That stagnates your growth. You've got to be preparing and

1197
00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:44,200
Speaker 1: expecting that growth and creating the structures around you to

1198
00:53:44,200 --> 00:53:46,000
Speaker 1: facilitate it. So it continues to flow.

1199
00:53:46,320 --> 00:53:48,879
Speaker 2: So good, so good, and I think we get sentimental,

1200
00:53:49,400 --> 00:53:52,439
Speaker 2: and we get sentimentally it's so good. I can't let

1201
00:53:52,560 --> 00:53:56,160
Speaker 2: go of this habit or this structure or this thing

1202
00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:59,719
Speaker 2: because it got me here, and I feel like you

1203
00:53:59,760 --> 00:54:03,440
Speaker 2: have to get really non sentimental, like so right, what

1204
00:54:03,440 --> 00:54:04,799
Speaker 2: you're saying about is preparing.

1205
00:54:04,960 --> 00:54:06,840
Speaker 1: Well, mine's my morning routine. I used to have a

1206
00:54:06,960 --> 00:54:12,520
Speaker 1: very long morning routine. Cold plunge, meditate, pray, gratitude, ritual, stretch,

1207
00:54:12,719 --> 00:54:16,319
Speaker 1: you know. And the thing got so long that I'm like,

1208
00:54:16,560 --> 00:54:18,799
Speaker 1: my gosh, I'm two hours into a routine. Here, I

1209
00:54:18,800 --> 00:54:21,280
Speaker 1: gotta get the work. You're gonna get some stuff done,

1210
00:54:21,320 --> 00:54:22,880
Speaker 1: and so you kind of be. And what it was

1211
00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:26,920
Speaker 1: is I started to accumulate these sentimental things that man,

1212
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:29,320
Speaker 1: that day I cold plunged. I had a big speech

1213
00:54:29,400 --> 00:54:31,520
Speaker 1: that day, so I better keep cold plunging every day,

1214
00:54:31,520 --> 00:54:33,839
Speaker 1: and I better keep it. I started stacking up this

1215
00:54:34,040 --> 00:54:35,879
Speaker 1: closet full, and I had to come in and it's

1216
00:54:35,880 --> 00:54:37,680
Speaker 1: like an old closet full of clothes. I had to go,

1217
00:54:38,040 --> 00:54:39,800
Speaker 1: which of these don't I wear anymore?

1218
00:54:39,960 --> 00:54:40,760
Speaker 2: Yes, And I'm.

1219
00:54:40,600 --> 00:54:42,960
Speaker 1: Gonna take this one and give it away, like and

1220
00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:46,160
Speaker 1: so you're right. It's it's the sentimental holding on to

1221
00:54:46,320 --> 00:54:48,640
Speaker 1: things that got you where you are won't get you

1222
00:54:48,719 --> 00:54:51,920
Speaker 1: where you're going. And so I have to constantly kind

1223
00:54:51,920 --> 00:54:54,279
Speaker 1: of audit my closet, so to speak. And so my

1224
00:54:54,360 --> 00:54:57,400
Speaker 1: morning routine now is nowhere nearly as sophisticated as it

1225
00:54:57,480 --> 00:55:00,800
Speaker 1: used to be. It's much more brief, but it's sir now,

1226
00:55:01,320 --> 00:55:04,200
Speaker 1: it serves who I am now, it serves my ambitions

1227
00:55:04,200 --> 00:55:07,200
Speaker 1: and goals now. And so you're one thousand percent right

1228
00:55:07,200 --> 00:55:07,919
Speaker 1: about that. Yeah.

1229
00:55:07,960 --> 00:55:09,360
Speaker 2: A lot of people I speak to as well, they

1230
00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:11,520
Speaker 2: struggle with and I've struggled with this in the past,

1231
00:55:11,600 --> 00:55:15,520
Speaker 2: where you know what you need to do, you know

1232
00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:19,319
Speaker 2: how much time you have, but then you procrastinate, you overthink,

1233
00:55:19,400 --> 00:55:21,680
Speaker 2: and I'm sure you get asked this question all the time,

1234
00:55:22,400 --> 00:55:25,080
Speaker 2: but I still see it again and again and again

1235
00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:28,040
Speaker 2: in the same people where they tell me Jay, I'm

1236
00:55:28,040 --> 00:55:31,320
Speaker 2: gonna have this done, gonna I'm accountable, I'm gonna commit,

1237
00:55:31,640 --> 00:55:34,040
Speaker 2: But then somehow it still doesn't happen for them.

1238
00:55:34,160 --> 00:55:34,359
Speaker 1: Yep.

1239
00:55:34,920 --> 00:55:38,080
Speaker 2: What have you found is really useful insight for someone

1240
00:55:38,080 --> 00:55:40,680
Speaker 2: who finds themselves constantly getting stuck. They know what they

1241
00:55:40,719 --> 00:55:42,359
Speaker 2: need to do, they know how much time they have,

1242
00:55:42,440 --> 00:55:44,400
Speaker 2: but they keep procrastinating and overthinking.

1243
00:55:44,520 --> 00:55:47,920
Speaker 1: One. You're trying to get your life back to your identity.

1244
00:55:47,960 --> 00:55:49,680
Speaker 1: You and I've talked to this analogy before, so I'll

1245
00:55:49,719 --> 00:55:52,640
Speaker 1: be quick with it. But your identity, your personal belief

1246
00:55:52,640 --> 00:55:54,719
Speaker 1: in yourself. Your identity is like the thoughts, beliefs, and

1247
00:55:54,760 --> 00:55:57,000
Speaker 1: concepts you hold to be most true about you. It's

1248
00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:59,320
Speaker 1: a thermostat setting on your life. We talked about this before.

1249
00:55:59,480 --> 00:56:02,360
Speaker 1: Give you two things, So like this studio or in

1250
00:56:02,360 --> 00:56:04,080
Speaker 1: I don't know, seventy two degrees in here right now,

1251
00:56:04,120 --> 00:56:06,480
Speaker 1: something like that. The external conditions that it's a cold,

1252
00:56:06,560 --> 00:56:09,120
Speaker 1: rainy day here in la. The external cond's put fifty

1253
00:56:09,160 --> 00:56:12,520
Speaker 1: degrees outside. That does not affect the internal thermostat in

1254
00:56:12,560 --> 00:56:14,440
Speaker 1: this room. It is seventy two degrees. If it was

1255
00:56:14,560 --> 00:56:17,279
Speaker 1: ninety degrees outside, the air conditions will come on and

1256
00:56:17,320 --> 00:56:20,359
Speaker 1: cool this room back to seventy two degrees. You procrastinate

1257
00:56:20,400 --> 00:56:22,880
Speaker 1: because your results are about to exceed your identity, and

1258
00:56:22,960 --> 00:56:25,040
Speaker 1: you're turning the air conditioner on. So if right now

1259
00:56:25,120 --> 00:56:27,480
Speaker 1: you're getting seventy two degrees of you believe in yourself

1260
00:56:27,480 --> 00:56:30,120
Speaker 1: at seventy two degrees of wealth or abundance of productivity,

1261
00:56:30,360 --> 00:56:32,040
Speaker 1: and you've started to heat it up to eighty five

1262
00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:36,040
Speaker 1: ninety one hundred degrees, you subconsciously turn the air conditioner

1263
00:56:36,040 --> 00:56:38,080
Speaker 1: on of your life to cool it back down to

1264
00:56:38,120 --> 00:56:40,960
Speaker 1: what you really believe you're worthy of and you deserve.

1265
00:56:41,320 --> 00:56:43,319
Speaker 1: So the deep work is you've got to raise that

1266
00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:45,680
Speaker 1: identity of what you believe you're worth to eighty five

1267
00:56:45,760 --> 00:56:48,240
Speaker 1: ninety one hundred degrees. How do you do that? Typically

1268
00:56:48,280 --> 00:56:51,680
Speaker 1: proximity to people who live at that thermostat setting, they

1269
00:56:51,680 --> 00:56:54,720
Speaker 1: will heat you up to theirs. So that's a huge one.

1270
00:56:54,840 --> 00:56:56,759
Speaker 2: That is a huge I just want to make that

1271
00:56:56,840 --> 00:56:58,719
Speaker 2: you made that sound so si bilend you made it

1272
00:56:58,760 --> 00:57:01,720
Speaker 2: really easy. That is the huge one. Yeah, that is it.

1273
00:57:01,719 --> 00:57:02,960
Speaker 2: It is at that gut level.

1274
00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:05,520
Speaker 1: I watch it. That's why you'll see somebody who, for example,

1275
00:57:06,480 --> 00:57:09,759
Speaker 1: their love thermostatus seventy two degrees and you go on

1276
00:57:09,880 --> 00:57:11,960
Speaker 1: you double date, they're with their dream person. You're like,

1277
00:57:11,960 --> 00:57:13,680
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, they're in love. It's blissful. They're at

1278
00:57:13,760 --> 00:57:16,120
Speaker 1: ninety one hundred degrees of love in their life. And

1279
00:57:16,200 --> 00:57:18,000
Speaker 1: a year later you run into them and you're like, so,

1280
00:57:18,080 --> 00:57:21,320
Speaker 1: how is Steve or how's janis? Oh, it didn't work out.

1281
00:57:21,560 --> 00:57:23,520
Speaker 1: What happened was they turned the air condition on and

1282
00:57:23,520 --> 00:57:25,760
Speaker 1: cooled it back to what they believe they deserve, oftentimes

1283
00:57:26,040 --> 00:57:28,480
Speaker 1: or wealth. We've all had these friends that there're seventy

1284
00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:30,160
Speaker 1: two degrees of wealth and all of a sudden, man,

1285
00:57:30,160 --> 00:57:33,240
Speaker 1: their business is kicking eighty five ninety one hundred. And

1286
00:57:33,280 --> 00:57:36,720
Speaker 1: what happens is it seems coincidental all supply chain, Oh

1287
00:57:36,840 --> 00:57:40,160
Speaker 1: this or that a customer broke off, a car broke down,

1288
00:57:40,160 --> 00:57:42,560
Speaker 1: I had to loan money to a friend. No, those

1289
00:57:42,560 --> 00:57:45,280
Speaker 1: were circumstances. What really happened was you turned the air

1290
00:57:45,320 --> 00:57:47,640
Speaker 1: conditioners on and you cooled your life back financially to

1291
00:57:47,640 --> 00:57:49,880
Speaker 1: believe what you believe you're worth. Same in your body,

1292
00:57:49,960 --> 00:57:52,560
Speaker 1: someone's seventy two degrees of fitness. They're getting in shape,

1293
00:57:52,600 --> 00:57:54,920
Speaker 1: they've lost the ten pounds, they look great, and you

1294
00:57:54,960 --> 00:57:56,920
Speaker 1: see them in a year and they've come all the

1295
00:57:56,960 --> 00:57:59,480
Speaker 1: way back and gained it back, and you're like, what happened?

1296
00:57:59,680 --> 00:58:02,080
Speaker 1: They turned the air conditioner on of their life and

1297
00:58:02,120 --> 00:58:04,600
Speaker 1: got back to what they believe they're worth. You got

1298
00:58:04,600 --> 00:58:07,360
Speaker 1: to change that thermostat setting. And it's typically like in

1299
00:58:07,440 --> 00:58:09,880
Speaker 1: my faith life, if I was a seventy two degrees

1300
00:58:09,880 --> 00:58:11,880
Speaker 1: in my faith, I started to surround myself with some

1301
00:58:11,960 --> 00:58:14,160
Speaker 1: men in my faith life. Man, they live in their

1302
00:58:14,160 --> 00:58:16,760
Speaker 1: faith at ninety five and one hundred. They heeded me

1303
00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:20,440
Speaker 1: up by proximity. Now my thermostat setting is different, So

1304
00:58:20,480 --> 00:58:24,600
Speaker 1: that's a biggie. The second one with procrastination is you've

1305
00:58:24,600 --> 00:58:27,320
Speaker 1: developed a false belief system in yourself of what you

1306
00:58:27,440 --> 00:58:30,640
Speaker 1: need to know to take action, and so successful people

1307
00:58:30,680 --> 00:58:33,600
Speaker 1: are willing to step into the unknown and the unprepared

1308
00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:36,600
Speaker 1: more than people who are unsuccessful. Now I'm not saying

1309
00:58:36,600 --> 00:58:38,960
Speaker 1: I don't like to research. Like Pod, you're super prepared

1310
00:58:38,960 --> 00:58:41,800
Speaker 1: for today, so am I. But there are just situations

1311
00:58:41,800 --> 00:58:44,200
Speaker 1: in my life of what I think I need to

1312
00:58:44,360 --> 00:58:47,440
Speaker 1: know is much lower than most people to step into

1313
00:58:47,520 --> 00:58:50,600
Speaker 1: the space and perform. So procrastination is really saying I

1314
00:58:50,640 --> 00:58:51,959
Speaker 1: got to know a little more. I gotta prepare little

1315
00:58:51,960 --> 00:58:53,040
Speaker 1: bit more. I gotta get a little bit more ready,

1316
00:58:53,040 --> 00:58:54,600
Speaker 1: a little bit more ready, a little bit more ready,

1317
00:58:54,800 --> 00:58:58,080
Speaker 1: and you keep raising the readiness quota to a point

1318
00:58:58,120 --> 00:59:00,480
Speaker 1: where you never take action. Got to get to this

1319
00:59:00,520 --> 00:59:01,960
Speaker 1: point where you're like, I'm going to get into the room,

1320
00:59:01,960 --> 00:59:03,520
Speaker 1: I'm going to start to write that paper, I'm going

1321
00:59:03,560 --> 00:59:05,040
Speaker 1: to start the book. I'm going to get into that

1322
00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:07,880
Speaker 1: and I'll figure it out when I get there. And

1323
00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:11,440
Speaker 1: most people that are successful have this internal belief system

1324
00:59:11,440 --> 00:59:14,280
Speaker 1: that I don't need to know everything to take action.

1325
00:59:14,760 --> 00:59:16,320
Speaker 1: I just need to know enough to get in the

1326
00:59:16,440 --> 00:59:18,720
Speaker 1: room and I'll figure it out from there. And you've

1327
00:59:18,760 --> 00:59:20,840
Speaker 1: known this with all the successful people you've coached. That

1328
00:59:20,920 --> 00:59:24,280
Speaker 1: is something they possess in droves, is the ability to

1329
00:59:24,320 --> 00:59:26,640
Speaker 1: get into a space and step into a room and

1330
00:59:26,760 --> 00:59:29,480
Speaker 1: figure it out from there and not have to know everything.

1331
00:59:29,960 --> 00:59:32,880
Speaker 2: And that's how most of them discovered their passion, even

1332
00:59:32,920 --> 00:59:34,800
Speaker 2: discovered it, because they were just pushed into it. I

1333
00:59:34,880 --> 00:59:39,080
Speaker 2: remember the first presentation I ever gave. The speaker had canceled,

1334
00:59:39,440 --> 00:59:41,960
Speaker 2: really and my friend said to me, well, there's no speaker.

1335
00:59:42,000 --> 00:59:44,480
Speaker 2: You've got to give the tour. And I was just like,

1336
00:59:44,920 --> 00:59:46,080
Speaker 2: what do you mean, I've got to give the tour?

1337
00:59:46,200 --> 00:59:48,560
Speaker 2: Like the speaker was really like well known and like

1338
00:59:48,640 --> 00:59:50,800
Speaker 2: in the community and all the rest of it, and

1339
00:59:50,840 --> 00:59:52,880
Speaker 2: they're like, no, no, no, but we haven't got a backup,

1340
00:59:53,040 --> 00:59:54,960
Speaker 2: and we can't invite someone last minute because it would

1341
00:59:54,960 --> 00:59:57,720
Speaker 2: look bad on them. But because you're a nobody, basically

1342
00:59:58,000 --> 00:59:58,840
Speaker 2: you can give the tour.

1343
00:59:59,160 --> 00:59:59,600
Speaker 1: Wow.

1344
01:00:00,160 --> 01:00:02,040
Speaker 2: Was just like, So I started preparing and I had

1345
01:00:02,080 --> 01:00:04,640
Speaker 2: three days, So I started preparing, I started doing it.

1346
01:00:04,800 --> 01:00:06,600
Speaker 2: I went up there and I just did it and

1347
01:00:06,640 --> 01:00:09,320
Speaker 2: I loved it, and I was like, oh, this is

1348
01:00:09,440 --> 01:00:12,440
Speaker 2: my this is this feels right for me. And I

1349
01:00:12,480 --> 01:00:14,600
Speaker 2: would never have discussed that. But I didn't get pushed

1350
01:00:14,640 --> 01:00:16,880
Speaker 2: into it. It would never have happened.

1351
01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:18,280
Speaker 1: That's a beautiful story.

1352
01:00:18,400 --> 01:00:21,120
Speaker 2: Never have happened. And so I think so many times

1353
01:00:21,160 --> 01:00:23,480
Speaker 2: that you're so right, and I love that you addressed

1354
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:27,320
Speaker 2: the first part about belief of what we deserve. I

1355
01:00:27,520 --> 01:00:30,200
Speaker 2: just want that to sit with people because the way

1356
01:00:30,240 --> 01:00:33,200
Speaker 2: you like just put that out there, like I'm like,

1357
01:00:33,280 --> 01:00:36,120
Speaker 2: that is exactly it. That there is some part of

1358
01:00:36,200 --> 01:00:40,680
Speaker 2: us that just doesn't believe we deserve. Yes, the level

1359
01:00:40,680 --> 01:00:42,160
Speaker 2: of success with strivings, right.

1360
01:00:42,160 --> 01:00:45,520
Speaker 1: And those those those subtle, subconscious air conditioners of our

1361
01:00:45,560 --> 01:00:48,680
Speaker 1: lives that cool down show up as coincidences, you know,

1362
01:00:48,800 --> 01:00:51,320
Speaker 1: but really they're not. They're by design because you're going

1363
01:00:51,400 --> 01:00:53,480
Speaker 1: to cool your life back to what you believe you deserve.

1364
01:00:53,560 --> 01:00:55,320
Speaker 1: Every day, when I work with athletes, or like, what

1365
01:00:55,320 --> 01:00:56,680
Speaker 1: do you do with the pro athletes you work with,

1366
01:00:56,760 --> 01:00:59,960
Speaker 1: I'm mainly you know this. Even what do most people want?

1367
01:01:00,040 --> 01:01:02,880
Speaker 1: When someone's really successful, what are you working on? Usually

1368
01:01:02,880 --> 01:01:05,720
Speaker 1: their identity or their confidence. It's usually those two things,

1369
01:01:06,080 --> 01:01:08,000
Speaker 1: and their identity is the more important thing. Now. The

1370
01:01:08,040 --> 01:01:09,200
Speaker 1: other thing that happens is for a lot of people

1371
01:01:09,240 --> 01:01:12,600
Speaker 1: with their identity is they'll attack their identity to the external,

1372
01:01:12,880 --> 01:01:15,800
Speaker 1: to their beauty, to their performance, to their career, and

1373
01:01:15,840 --> 01:01:18,400
Speaker 1: then when they lose that career or they lose that

1374
01:01:18,920 --> 01:01:21,280
Speaker 1: NFL football career they've got, then they don't know who

1375
01:01:21,280 --> 01:01:24,000
Speaker 1: they are without it. So this identity should be deeply

1376
01:01:24,120 --> 01:01:26,840
Speaker 1: rooted in who you are, not just what you do.

1377
01:01:27,680 --> 01:01:28,000
Speaker 1: That's all.

1378
01:01:28,160 --> 01:01:30,320
Speaker 2: Let's talk about that, because I've been playing around with

1379
01:01:30,360 --> 01:01:34,080
Speaker 2: that a lot myself lately and in trying to articulate that,

1380
01:01:34,120 --> 01:01:37,320
Speaker 2: because I think the world has convinced us that what

1381
01:01:37,360 --> 01:01:42,320
Speaker 2: we do is our value. So even people's introductions to

1382
01:01:42,400 --> 01:01:45,320
Speaker 2: themselves is oh yeah, I'm an accountant, I'm a lawyer,

1383
01:01:45,480 --> 01:01:48,120
Speaker 2: I'm an author, I'm a coach, I'm a podcaster. Whatever

1384
01:01:48,120 --> 01:01:52,760
Speaker 2: it is we're describing, I am followed by a doing word,

1385
01:01:53,640 --> 01:01:57,360
Speaker 2: not a being word. And so even our value in

1386
01:01:57,440 --> 01:01:59,520
Speaker 2: society is also and so I went to that college

1387
01:01:59,600 --> 01:02:01,880
Speaker 2: is so, and so has that job, Like we see value.

1388
01:02:02,000 --> 01:02:04,000
Speaker 2: And even in the past, the way you had value

1389
01:02:04,080 --> 01:02:07,120
Speaker 2: was someone was a blacksmith and someone was a baker,

1390
01:02:07,720 --> 01:02:10,360
Speaker 2: and that was their value. And then even before that,

1391
01:02:10,400 --> 01:02:12,880
Speaker 2: we used to barter because of what we did, and

1392
01:02:12,920 --> 01:02:15,520
Speaker 2: then we could trade that. So so much of identity

1393
01:02:15,560 --> 01:02:18,040
Speaker 2: for hundreds of years has been tied up in what

1394
01:02:18,080 --> 01:02:18,480
Speaker 2: we do.

1395
01:02:18,760 --> 01:02:21,480
Speaker 1: By the way, it's a you're so brilliant, bro, I

1396
01:02:21,520 --> 01:02:24,240
Speaker 1: love our conversations. It's a very dangerous way to live

1397
01:02:24,280 --> 01:02:26,640
Speaker 1: your life. When your identity is tied up in what

1398
01:02:26,680 --> 01:02:29,000
Speaker 1: you do as arouser than who you are, as you

1399
01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:32,520
Speaker 1: say being, you're in a very dangerous place because if

1400
01:02:32,560 --> 01:02:35,440
Speaker 1: it's tied to those things and they then they don't exist.

1401
01:02:35,480 --> 01:02:38,240
Speaker 1: You're completely lost without them. And it is a very

1402
01:02:38,400 --> 01:02:40,560
Speaker 1: shallow and I don't mean like shallow in the sense

1403
01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:43,040
Speaker 1: that like you know, shallow, like a crash. I mean

1404
01:02:43,080 --> 01:02:45,120
Speaker 1: it's not a very There's not a lot of depth

1405
01:02:45,200 --> 01:02:47,680
Speaker 1: to that identity that is long lasting when it's attached

1406
01:02:47,720 --> 01:02:49,320
Speaker 1: to what we do, or what we look like, or

1407
01:02:49,320 --> 01:02:52,280
Speaker 1: what we've achieved. You know, you'll say that you're right.

1408
01:02:52,320 --> 01:02:54,080
Speaker 1: I've just I just met someone the other day who

1409
01:02:54,680 --> 01:02:57,600
Speaker 1: I knew immediately they lacked a strong identity because they can.

1410
01:02:57,720 --> 01:03:02,480
Speaker 1: They immediately just resumeated me. I did this, I did that,

1411
01:03:02,680 --> 01:03:04,600
Speaker 1: I achieved this, I was written here, I was that.

1412
01:03:04,640 --> 01:03:08,400
Speaker 1: And I actually stopped them, and because I really liked them,

1413
01:03:08,920 --> 01:03:10,920
Speaker 1: and I won't say who she was, but I said,

1414
01:03:10,960 --> 01:03:15,800
Speaker 1: you know, I really like you. I like you. What

1415
01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:20,480
Speaker 1: impresses me is you who you are, your kindness. She's brilliant,

1416
01:03:20,520 --> 01:03:23,240
Speaker 1: by the way, this woman too, You're so brilliant, You're

1417
01:03:23,280 --> 01:03:27,600
Speaker 1: so kind. That's your identity. Your identity isn't your MBA.

1418
01:03:28,400 --> 01:03:31,600
Speaker 1: Your identity isn't your career. That's not your identity. But

1419
01:03:31,640 --> 01:03:34,800
Speaker 1: they've linked it to that, and it is a dangerous

1420
01:03:34,840 --> 01:03:37,080
Speaker 1: way to live your life. And it's not a deep

1421
01:03:37,120 --> 01:03:39,040
Speaker 1: way to live your life. A deep way to live

1422
01:03:39,080 --> 01:03:41,680
Speaker 1: your life where you can make impact in multiple areas

1423
01:03:42,160 --> 01:03:45,360
Speaker 1: is to root your identity and who you are, those intentions,

1424
01:03:45,920 --> 01:03:48,880
Speaker 1: the things that you believe to be true. Your character,

1425
01:03:49,360 --> 01:03:53,360
Speaker 1: the way you conduct yourself, your value in life, your value,

1426
01:03:53,440 --> 01:03:57,400
Speaker 1: your valuable That's where identity is deeply rooted, not in

1427
01:03:57,480 --> 01:04:00,560
Speaker 1: the external. It's okay to be proud out of your

1428
01:04:00,720 --> 01:04:03,440
Speaker 1: degree or your achievement, or your career or your company.

1429
01:04:03,760 --> 01:04:07,280
Speaker 1: That's different being proud of something and having a sense of,

1430
01:04:07,480 --> 01:04:09,920
Speaker 1: you know, gratitude for what you've achieved. That's great, But

1431
01:04:09,960 --> 01:04:11,960
Speaker 1: when you link your identity to it, you're in a

1432
01:04:12,040 --> 01:04:13,240
Speaker 1: dangerous and shallow place.

1433
01:04:13,760 --> 01:04:19,000
Speaker 2: Absolutely last question ed. We've talked about peace, We've talked

1434
01:04:19,040 --> 01:04:22,760
Speaker 2: about productivity. How does it not lead to burnout when

1435
01:04:22,800 --> 01:04:24,720
Speaker 2: you're trying to do all this right, you're working on

1436
01:04:24,760 --> 01:04:29,120
Speaker 2: the intern or self, you're working on the productivity. It's like, gosh, Jay,

1437
01:04:29,120 --> 01:04:31,880
Speaker 2: I'm exhausted trying to do all this and exhausted trying

1438
01:04:31,920 --> 01:04:34,360
Speaker 2: to manage Like I want to be successful, but I

1439
01:04:34,360 --> 01:04:35,720
Speaker 2: want to be spiritual. I'm trying to do it. I

1440
01:04:35,800 --> 01:04:38,800
Speaker 2: want to be everything and do everything. Like, how how

1441
01:04:38,800 --> 01:04:43,360
Speaker 2: have you managed and what have been your reflections on burnout, exhaustion,

1442
01:04:43,760 --> 01:04:46,320
Speaker 2: and then of course ruining relationships in the process.

1443
01:04:46,520 --> 01:04:49,440
Speaker 1: Well, I've done all those, so I have experience in

1444
01:04:49,560 --> 01:04:53,480
Speaker 1: burnout and ruining relationships and messing things up. And here's

1445
01:04:53,520 --> 01:04:56,280
Speaker 1: what I've learned. I want all the things I want,

1446
01:04:56,400 --> 01:04:59,200
Speaker 1: but I don't have to have them right now. And

1447
01:04:59,240 --> 01:05:00,840
Speaker 1: it's the right now of life. I gotta be in

1448
01:05:00,880 --> 01:05:01,960
Speaker 1: a hurry. I gotta do it, I gotta do it.

1449
01:05:01,960 --> 01:05:03,840
Speaker 1: I can do it now now, now. Now, there's a

1450
01:05:03,880 --> 01:05:06,560
Speaker 1: power of now. Some people lack the ability to operate

1451
01:05:06,600 --> 01:05:09,480
Speaker 1: in the now, but for me, it's I have built

1452
01:05:09,480 --> 01:05:14,240
Speaker 1: into my life rest. Last night I slept twelve hours, wow.

1453
01:05:14,280 --> 01:05:16,360
Speaker 1: And the reason was is I've been getting to the

1454
01:05:16,440 --> 01:05:19,720
Speaker 1: point right now where I'm tinkering on the edge of

1455
01:05:19,920 --> 01:05:22,720
Speaker 1: too much now, too much now, too much now, And

1456
01:05:22,760 --> 01:05:25,120
Speaker 1: so I reflect back on my faith, I reflect back

1457
01:05:25,160 --> 01:05:27,080
Speaker 1: on I love. I mean, there's basic things I know

1458
01:05:27,120 --> 01:05:29,640
Speaker 1: you do. But I'm a big person on earthing and grounding.

1459
01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:31,800
Speaker 1: I love to get outdoors. I love to put my

1460
01:05:31,880 --> 01:05:34,360
Speaker 1: bare feet in the ground and let that recharge me.

1461
01:05:34,920 --> 01:05:38,240
Speaker 1: I'm real big on my recharge stuff now. And sometimes

1462
01:05:38,280 --> 01:05:41,520
Speaker 1: that means lots of sleep, believe it or not. I

1463
01:05:41,640 --> 01:05:43,720
Speaker 1: used to brag that I got five or six hours

1464
01:05:43,760 --> 01:05:46,080
Speaker 1: of sleep, and I could operate on that. And I've

1465
01:05:46,160 --> 01:05:48,280
Speaker 1: learned over time, maybe there's a season for that. That's great,

1466
01:05:48,400 --> 01:05:50,800
Speaker 1: But there's also a season where I listen to my body.

1467
01:05:51,320 --> 01:05:53,720
Speaker 1: You're the best at this, but I've gotten better at

1468
01:05:53,800 --> 01:05:56,360
Speaker 1: listening to my spirit and my body. And when my

1469
01:05:56,440 --> 01:05:59,400
Speaker 1: spirit is screaming at me, you need to rest, you

1470
01:05:59,440 --> 01:06:02,320
Speaker 1: need to reach charge. I listen to my body, especially

1471
01:06:02,320 --> 01:06:04,320
Speaker 1: at fifty two years old. My body will speak to

1472
01:06:04,360 --> 01:06:06,720
Speaker 1: me even more now than sometimes it ever has in

1473
01:06:06,720 --> 01:06:09,560
Speaker 1: my life, and I listen to it, and I've given

1474
01:06:09,600 --> 01:06:12,080
Speaker 1: myself to gift. I'm not afraid anymore. You and I

1475
01:06:12,080 --> 01:06:14,880
Speaker 1: have talked about this privately. I'm not afraid anymore that

1476
01:06:14,880 --> 01:06:17,760
Speaker 1: I'm gonna lose momentum. I can say no to something,

1477
01:06:17,840 --> 01:06:20,320
Speaker 1: I can rest, I can recharge, I can reflect, and

1478
01:06:20,360 --> 01:06:22,480
Speaker 1: it doesn't mean I'm gonna lose momentum. I used to

1479
01:06:22,520 --> 01:06:24,800
Speaker 1: believe if I don't keep going, I'm gonna lose the

1480
01:06:24,840 --> 01:06:27,960
Speaker 1: momentum I've got. And the truth is, that's an insecurity

1481
01:06:28,000 --> 01:06:31,080
Speaker 1: in me. That's my lack of identity screaming at me.

1482
01:06:31,640 --> 01:06:33,960
Speaker 1: And there's really three things. Whether you believe in whatever

1483
01:06:34,000 --> 01:06:36,680
Speaker 1: your spiritual beliefs are. But if I if I was

1484
01:06:36,720 --> 01:06:39,480
Speaker 1: the adversary or the devil, what would I do to

1485
01:06:39,480 --> 01:06:42,000
Speaker 1: try to get you off track. What would I do?

1486
01:06:42,080 --> 01:06:43,880
Speaker 1: There's really three things. The first thing I would do

1487
01:06:43,960 --> 01:06:45,800
Speaker 1: is I get you to doubt three ds. I'll get

1488
01:06:45,800 --> 01:06:49,400
Speaker 1: you to doubt. Can I get jayshtty doubting himself, doubting

1489
01:06:49,400 --> 01:06:51,800
Speaker 1: that it matters, doubting his ability, doubting he can go

1490
01:06:51,880 --> 01:06:54,960
Speaker 1: to the next level. I'm gonna get him to doubt. Well, yeah,

1491
01:06:55,000 --> 01:06:57,680
Speaker 1: if I me too, Me too. I can see it

1492
01:06:57,720 --> 01:07:00,600
Speaker 1: on your face right now, me too, doubting me. The

1493
01:07:00,640 --> 01:07:03,560
Speaker 1: second thing, as I'll get them discouraged. I'll have a

1494
01:07:03,600 --> 01:07:07,800
Speaker 1: real critic. I'll have some hits, have a miss or

1495
01:07:07,840 --> 01:07:10,920
Speaker 1: two swinging a miss right. If I can get them discouraged,

1496
01:07:10,920 --> 01:07:13,200
Speaker 1: then I got them. And the third thing, if I

1497
01:07:13,240 --> 01:07:15,440
Speaker 1: can't do that, or I'll do both, I'll get them

1498
01:07:15,440 --> 01:07:19,640
Speaker 1: a bit. Delusional. Delusion is believing something's worse than it

1499
01:07:19,720 --> 01:07:22,000
Speaker 1: is or better than it is. And you thought stack

1500
01:07:22,040 --> 01:07:23,600
Speaker 1: and you start to stack it. What about this? What

1501
01:07:23,640 --> 01:07:25,840
Speaker 1: about this? What about this? What about this? And I

1502
01:07:25,920 --> 01:07:28,800
Speaker 1: get you magnifying something to believe that it's a far

1503
01:07:28,880 --> 01:07:31,360
Speaker 1: bigger problem than it is, far more dramatic than it is,

1504
01:07:31,520 --> 01:07:32,720
Speaker 1: or far better than it is.

1505
01:07:33,240 --> 01:07:36,280
Speaker 2: You just explain my last twelve months. Oh my god. Wow.

1506
01:07:36,800 --> 01:07:39,360
Speaker 1: And so those are the three d's, and so it's

1507
01:07:39,520 --> 01:07:43,320
Speaker 1: it's doubt, discouragement, and delusion. And what I try to

1508
01:07:43,360 --> 01:07:46,120
Speaker 1: do is when I see them showing up and they do,

1509
01:07:46,280 --> 01:07:49,440
Speaker 1: I go, I know exactly what this is. This is

1510
01:07:49,680 --> 01:07:52,480
Speaker 1: this is the negative coming to get me. This is

1511
01:07:52,520 --> 01:07:55,280
Speaker 1: trying to get me off course and my dreams and

1512
01:07:55,320 --> 01:07:58,440
Speaker 1: my vision and my contribution. And I am not going

1513
01:07:58,520 --> 01:08:01,440
Speaker 1: to let other people be cheated because I doubt and

1514
01:08:01,600 --> 01:08:05,400
Speaker 1: I'm discouraged and I'm delusional. And so I really focus

1515
01:08:05,440 --> 01:08:07,720
Speaker 1: when those things come up, and I identify them when

1516
01:08:07,760 --> 01:08:09,840
Speaker 1: they're there, and I root them out because I know

1517
01:08:09,880 --> 01:08:11,880
Speaker 1: where they're coming from and they're not coming from good.

1518
01:08:11,960 --> 01:08:14,000
Speaker 1: They're not coming from God, they're not coming from high

1519
01:08:14,040 --> 01:08:17,160
Speaker 1: vibrational frequency. They're coming from the worst of the worst.

1520
01:08:17,439 --> 01:08:19,880
Speaker 1: And so I absolutely rid them out when they show up.

1521
01:08:21,000 --> 01:08:23,200
Speaker 2: That is a huge gift to me. You have no idea.

1522
01:08:23,760 --> 01:08:27,080
Speaker 2: You have no idea, O brother, genuinely, you have no

1523
01:08:27,200 --> 01:08:27,720
Speaker 2: idea that a.

1524
01:08:27,760 --> 01:08:29,719
Speaker 1: Be your a gift to me every time that is no, that's.

1525
01:08:29,520 --> 01:08:32,760
Speaker 2: A real gift, EDM. I let everyone follow ed on

1526
01:08:32,800 --> 01:08:34,960
Speaker 2: Instagram if you don't already, go and listen to this

1527
01:08:35,040 --> 01:08:38,559
Speaker 2: podcast max out and books. I mean no, no, no

1528
01:08:38,600 --> 01:08:40,840
Speaker 2: new books right now, just the Power one more. Yeah,

1529
01:08:41,400 --> 01:08:43,559
Speaker 2: the book we discuss last and Power one More.

1530
01:08:43,840 --> 01:08:46,360
Speaker 1: Help anybody anyway I can, Man, and you're the best.

1531
01:08:46,760 --> 01:08:49,639
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for coming back. I love these conversations. Honestly,

1532
01:08:49,680 --> 01:08:52,280
Speaker 2: they're so healing and therapeutic to me. I feel like

1533
01:08:52,520 --> 01:08:54,760
Speaker 2: I'm that seventy two spending time at the ninety five.

1534
01:08:54,800 --> 01:08:57,720
Speaker 2: It's like it really does heat me up, honestly, genuinely

1535
01:08:57,760 --> 01:09:00,800
Speaker 2: like these these are such life giving some psicians for me.

1536
01:09:00,960 --> 01:09:03,240
Speaker 2: So I'm so glad we recorded. I'm so glad we're

1537
01:09:03,240 --> 01:09:05,960
Speaker 2: going to share it and thank you. Grateful man, genuinely grateful.

1538
01:09:06,080 --> 01:09:08,639
Speaker 1: So, my brother, you're blessing of my life. You're blessing.

1539
01:09:09,120 --> 01:09:12,000
Speaker 2: Thank you. If you love this episode, you'll enjoy my

1540
01:09:12,160 --> 01:09:15,200
Speaker 2: interview with doctor Daniel Ahman on how to change your

1541
01:09:15,280 --> 01:09:17,000
Speaker 2: life by changing your brain.

1542
01:09:17,439 --> 01:09:22,400
Speaker 1: If we want a healthy mind, it actually starts with

1543
01:09:22,479 --> 01:09:23,280
Speaker 1: a healthy brain.

1544
01:09:23,479 --> 01:09:26,680
Speaker 2: You know, I've had the blessing or the curse to

1545
01:09:26,840 --> 01:09:31,840
Speaker 2: scan over a thousand convicted felons and over one hundred murderers,

1546
01:09:32,200 --> 01:09:34,160
Speaker 2: and their brains are very damaged.