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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's trying to buck the trend

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Speaker 1: of hip hop artists going country by encouraging Riva McIntyre

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Speaker 1: to release her first hardcore rap album.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, can we call her Little Riva?

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Speaker 1: And it's gonna be titled Reba Rips one. So ordered

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Speaker 1: now with Laser Stories.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not a good title for an older woman.

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Speaker 1: This segment where we read weird news stories around the globe,

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Speaker 1: just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser.

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Speaker 1: Those other banjo baddies just don't this versus Laser Stories.

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Speaker 1: Out of Iowa last weekend, an eighteen year old woman

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Speaker 1: named Sumaya Thomas was supposed to have a first date

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Speaker 1: with the guy she'd been talking to on a dating app,

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Speaker 1: and they'd been chatting for just over a week, but

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Speaker 1: at the last minute, she decided she actually didn't want

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Speaker 1: to meet him.

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Speaker 2: Yeah is something he said? Or just change your heart

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Speaker 2: just you know, decided it wasn't for her.

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Speaker 1: But instead of just telling the poor guy or ghosting him,

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Speaker 1: she did the next best thing and called nine one.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: Why Then she went a step further and when the

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Speaker 1: guy showed up to her apartment, she told cops her

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Speaker 1: abusive ex boyfriend was outside and that he threatened to hit, punch, kick,

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Speaker 1: and stab her.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, and people do what is going on?

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Speaker 1: The guy, not knowing any of this, was leaving the

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Speaker 1: scene when cops arrived and they detained him on the

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Speaker 1: way out.

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Speaker 2: He's like, I don't even know her last name. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: He showed them the messages on his phone, which proved

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Speaker 1: Sumaya was lying, because she eventually admitted she made it

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Speaker 1: all up after she got cold feet and didn't want

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Speaker 1: to meet him anymore. I mean, you know, you get

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Speaker 1: an Alexis, it's hard to say no, I didn't someone

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Speaker 1: I didn't know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the cops turned him down. For you, whole city

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Speaker 2: would get arrested.

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Speaker 1: She's now facing two misdemeanor charges for placing a false

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Speaker 1: nine one one call and filing a false report. Did

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Speaker 1: Good Xlazer Stories out of Fast Food headquarters. If you're

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Speaker 1: a listener to our show, you know we've done many

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Speaker 1: dares over the years that I've incorporated fast Food into them.

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Speaker 1: And Brooks drive through to Cathalon, where she had to

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Speaker 1: eat ten Jack in the Box menu items from the

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Speaker 1: drive through and finish each one before she could order another.

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Speaker 2: Used to be my favorite place. I still can't go back.

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Speaker 1: Then there's Ashton's thirty day Taco Bell Challenge, where our

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Speaker 1: technical director could only eat Taco bell every meal for

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Speaker 1: thirty straight days. Everyone viral.

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Speaker 2: It really shows team of doctors couldn't believe that he

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Speaker 2: was still breathing afterwards. Welcome, Is he lost weight? Like

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Speaker 2: four pounds?

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Speaker 1: Now I'm thinking we need to invite a guest on

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Speaker 1: the show to inspire our next big dare. Okay, because

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Speaker 1: it's a young woman named Madison who does stunts for

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Speaker 1: social media and her latest headline grabbing idea be the

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Speaker 1: first person to complete a full marathon inside a Taco Bell.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, like a food or a running marathon?

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Speaker 2: And how did she prepare and did she do it?

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Speaker 2: Let's listen. I brought my own chenmeal and filled my

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Speaker 2: water bottle up with Baja Blasts. I kept eating yummy

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Speaker 2: food and drinking my Baja blast way. I blast my

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Speaker 2: way to the finish.

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Speaker 1: Line after ten hours and three minutes, twenty six point

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Speaker 1: three miles, and fifty eight thousand steps.

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Speaker 2: I am extremely proud to say that I am the

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Speaker 2: first person in history to do a marathon at Taco Bell. Well,

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Speaker 2: I don't like her. Who do you know what? Because she

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Speaker 2: overshadowed your day.

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Speaker 1: Because the last thing I want to see when I

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Speaker 1: walk into a Taco Bell is someone being healthy and

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Speaker 1: running amout.

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Speaker 2: She's drinking a Baha bla, drinking sugary drinks. I have

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Speaker 2: heard that tread me exactly. It just not belong. It

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Speaker 2: is like sacrilegious, Like if you're gonna run that long,

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Speaker 2: you might as well make it monumental.

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Speaker 1: I'm like some like it. So she actually did it,

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Speaker 1: completed the marathon while eating Taco Bell. But if you

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Speaker 1: listen closely, she didn't run it. She used a walking

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Speaker 1: treadmill instead.

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Speaker 2: Oh so it took her a long time.

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Speaker 1: Meanwhile, our technical director Ashton is willing to actually run

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Speaker 1: it inside the store, Giant circles around the dining.

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Speaker 2: Area over and over again.

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Speaker 1: Wait, it's unclear if Madison took any breaks, either whether

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Speaker 1: bathroom or otherwise. Friends, employees, and even some customers who

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Speaker 1: were in line were there to congratulate her at the

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Speaker 1: finish line.

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Speaker 2: I bet you got to eat some congratulatory chure. Ten

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Speaker 2: hours is like the slowest marathon ever.

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Speaker 1: Sorry, let's go to your next lazer story out of

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Speaker 1: the law the lands. Do you get pulled over in Minnesota,

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Speaker 1: don't be surprised if the cops starts out by asking

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Speaker 1: what's your favorite flavor of ice cream?

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Speaker 2: Not anything on you.

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Speaker 1: But apparently officers in Minnesota need a new icebreaker because

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Speaker 1: there's a brand new law that bans.

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Speaker 2: Them from asking do you know why I pulled you over?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 2: Really, I can't say that anymore? Is it just because

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Speaker 2: people are sick of that question?

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Speaker 1: The main reason is the state doesn't want idiots making

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Speaker 1: spontaneous confessions.

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Speaker 2: Oh, oh, you pulled me over for the mes I

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Speaker 2: have in my car? They don't want to hear.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, is it the dead bodies in my back seat?

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Speaker 2: I don't know?

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Speaker 1: Off for why, especially in cases where law enforcement may

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Speaker 1: be fishing for a confession, police have faced pressure to

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Speaker 1: ban all pretextual stops where a cop pulls a driver

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Speaker 1: over for a minor infraction just so they could talk

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Speaker 1: to them and conduct a search. Oh, it's like profiling.

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Speaker 1: That makes sense.

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Speaker 2: That makes sense.

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Speaker 1: So these kind of stops have led to dangerous escalations,

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Speaker 1: and so they're trying to stop all that.

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Speaker 2: Yes, so they need some small talk for in the front.

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Speaker 1: Just to just to justify it, so it doesn't sound

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Speaker 1: like they're actually trying to profile it, like how do

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Speaker 1: you feel about pineapple and pizza. Justice advocates hope that

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Speaker 1: this change is a start. I let's go to your

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Speaker 1: next laser story. Out of research world Worriing, a new

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Speaker 1: study found sitting on your butt all day might kill you,

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Speaker 1: but maybe not if you do one thing that you

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Speaker 1: already really enjoy doing. Attract dozens of people for thirteen

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Speaker 1: years and found the ones who sat around drinking coffee,

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Speaker 1: we're twenty four percent less likely to die.

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Speaker 2: Yo.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, all I do sit down with an elevated heartbeat,

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Speaker 1: just relaxing.

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Speaker 2: But I'm not.

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Speaker 1: It's like you're running that Taco Bell marathon, but inside

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Speaker 1: of a Starbucks.

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Speaker 2: You do drink it, insane amount of it.

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Speaker 1: That's compared to sedentary people who don't drink coffee. And

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Speaker 1: they also found sitting for more than six hours a

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Speaker 1: day isn't good no matter what, which isn't too shocking,

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Speaker 1: but for some reason, coffee might mitigate the effects.

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Speaker 2: Put all your stock in that. That's good.

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Speaker 1: I gotta get steps in when I go get the

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Speaker 1: delivery food downstairs, so that keeps me.

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Speaker 2: Acting it could be almost fifty steps a model of you,

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Speaker 2: pretty much an alflete. Non coffee tak girl and Taco bell.

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Speaker 1: Non coffee drinkers who sat for six plus hours a

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Speaker 1: day were fifty eight percent.

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Speaker 2: More likely to die young.

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Speaker 1: But if your job requires you to sit in front

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Speaker 1: of a computer all day, drinking coffee while you do

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Speaker 1: that might at least help. Okay, and drinking a lot

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Speaker 1: of it might be even better. The ones who drank

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Speaker 1: more than two cups a day were the least likely

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Speaker 1: to croak early.

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Speaker 2: Okay, what about all.

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Speaker 1: These people on TikTok who are like, I'm giving up caffeine.

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Speaker 2: They're the idiots? Now, Is that what it is destined

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Speaker 2: to die young? Okay?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, a lot of coffee drinkers in this room. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but not this guy. No, he has a different kind

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Speaker 1: of pick me up that he likes to do.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, he is gonna make him a little long time.

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Speaker 1: And this is the sound of him getting his morning

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Speaker 1: workout and using tiny shakeaways.

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Speaker 2: At his desk, a healthy little guy.

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Speaker 1: That sound means Laser Stories has come to an end

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Speaker 1: for the day. We'll do it again at the same

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Speaker 1: time on Friday.

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Speaker 2: Brook and Jeffrey in the morning,