WEBVTT - #111 -  Jillian Jacqueline (Part 1)

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<v Speaker 1>In which Jillian jack Linson. So you always have the

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<v Speaker 1>coolest clothes, but what I know you do? You're actually

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<v Speaker 1>are we talking about my clothes? Well, because you're Ryan

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<v Speaker 1>Adams shirt. I were this to be funny because ahead

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<v Speaker 1>the first time that we interacted on social media, I

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<v Speaker 1>had well, this was like the second interaction. I had

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<v Speaker 1>sent you a picture. I was playing a show at

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<v Speaker 1>a venue that's right, Louis and St. Louis, and I sent, um,

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<v Speaker 1>you were playing with Bryan Adams. I was playing with

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<v Speaker 1>Ryan Adams that night, but you were on you were

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<v Speaker 1>going to be playing somewhere. So I was like, oh

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<v Speaker 1>my god to see your name. And and then you

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<v Speaker 1>wrote back and you're like, oh, what are you doing there?

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<v Speaker 1>And I said, I'm opening for Ryan Adams and and

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<v Speaker 1>you said, oh, like Summer of sixty nine. And I

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<v Speaker 1>thought you were being serious, and so I was. Of course,

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<v Speaker 1>I have the worst sense of humor, and so I

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<v Speaker 1>wrote back. I was like, oh, no, no no, that's that's

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<v Speaker 1>Brian Adams. This is Ryan Adams. And you're like, I

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<v Speaker 1>know that, were like the tim an idiot, had no

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<v Speaker 1>respect for me. The fact that you thought that I

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<v Speaker 1>was being serious meant you had no respect for anything

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<v Speaker 1>about me musically, I do, I really do. I think

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<v Speaker 1>you do. Because we had a chance to get to

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<v Speaker 1>know each other. I think I actually thought that a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of people and no disrespect to Ryan, but I

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<v Speaker 1>thought he might be like super under the radar and

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<v Speaker 1>like a lot of people don't know him. And I

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<v Speaker 1>didn't know that you were. Um, yeah, I guess I

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<v Speaker 1>didn't know that you knew a ton outside the country realm.

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<v Speaker 1>I was just crazy because I'm want to compare this

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<v Speaker 1>to who from Daniel Bradbrey she came in. I only

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<v Speaker 1>know her from not the voice, right, I don't know

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<v Speaker 1>her from the voice Daniel Bradberry and most people know

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<v Speaker 1>her from the voice. Now, when you say you only

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<v Speaker 1>know me from country, I worked. I worked every other

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<v Speaker 1>format for way longer than I have any country. That's great.

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<v Speaker 1>But I love that because that means that I'm really

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<v Speaker 1>resonating where I am now. Because I did pop, alternative,

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<v Speaker 1>I did hip hop, sports. Well, that yeah, that's it

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<v Speaker 1>gives you your edge. That's why you're cool here. Oh

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<v Speaker 1>I'm so cool. You're a cool guy in town. My

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<v Speaker 1>point was, I'm definitely not the cool guy. My point

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<v Speaker 1>was you're in a Ryan adom, sir, is that legit

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<v Speaker 1>like old school? Or no, this is new? This is

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<v Speaker 1>like from his last tour. Yeah. Um, I love his designs.

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<v Speaker 1>He has really great designs. I'll get some, um retro

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<v Speaker 1>what do they call the T shirts? Vintage? Thank you?

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<v Speaker 1>I am. I don't even know the word. So when

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<v Speaker 1>I do awards shows, I have a stylist, it'll like

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<v Speaker 1>dress me because I'm color blind. Everything dark looks the

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<v Speaker 1>same to me. Dark. Well, I have to memorize colors,

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<v Speaker 1>so I know these are a shade of red pants

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<v Speaker 1>that I have on. And so I've always had this problem.

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<v Speaker 1>So I have a stylist that comes and she'll pick

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<v Speaker 1>out clothes and say, no, that's a green, that's a black.

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<v Speaker 1>But I'll say, hey, I like the vintage T shirts.

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<v Speaker 1>And what she does is she finds real vintage T shirts.

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<v Speaker 1>But they're so expensive. Yeah they are. Yeah, they're like

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<v Speaker 1>double a normal T shirt price, maybe three or four

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<v Speaker 1>times too. And she won't tell me because what stylists do.

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<v Speaker 1>I've only learned this recently. Yeah is that. And I

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<v Speaker 1>have a great stylist and she's gonna have her own podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>But she'll she'll come and she'll say, here the clothes

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<v Speaker 1>you want, and I'll get a bill back like two

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<v Speaker 1>months later. And I was like, holy crap, that three

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<v Speaker 1>students shirt was like sixty eight dollars. That's my point

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<v Speaker 1>with that. But that's a new shirt. This is a

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<v Speaker 1>new one. But I have spent like I think the

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<v Speaker 1>most day spent was eighty bucks on a Judge shirt

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<v Speaker 1>from I have a nineteen I think eight nine toward

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<v Speaker 1>Judge T shirt. She's so good, their hair, everything that

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<v Speaker 1>she picked up because she knew I was a fan

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<v Speaker 1>of the Judge. I mean I was, yeah, I can't,

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<v Speaker 1>I can't. I a mumping them right now. Have you

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<v Speaker 1>hung out with Winona? I haven't. That would be pretty cool,

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<v Speaker 1>have you. Oh? I thought you had a great story.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't. But I was like obsessed with her as

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<v Speaker 1>a kid and her mom, both of them. I read

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<v Speaker 1>her book and everything. But yeah, they were some of

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<v Speaker 1>the like most eccentric characters. I feel like my mom

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<v Speaker 1>used to sing the Judge all the time. Which song?

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, which one tell me about? Yes, that's it

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<v Speaker 1>to me, that's my mom's singing. It was always the Judge.

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<v Speaker 1>Like when I think back about that, Yeah, and so

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<v Speaker 1>obviously I have an affinity for the judge because when

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<v Speaker 1>you think about being a kid, and I was born

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<v Speaker 1>in the eighties and they were a big deal kind

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<v Speaker 1>of to my kid years. Yeah, but I haven't. I

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<v Speaker 1>haven't been a shirt too that paid way too much

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<v Speaker 1>more that I haven't worried. Do you ever worried about

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<v Speaker 1>wearing them? Because there, if it's so cool, it might

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<v Speaker 1>be dead, like the shirt you killed the shirt because

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<v Speaker 1>you can't wear it anywhere else. No. I have that

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<v Speaker 1>problem with crazy suits. Oh, well with suits because yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>because if I have a suit for the CMA's last

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<v Speaker 1>year and it was not cheap, yeah, if it's that outrageous, though,

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<v Speaker 1>nobody will forget it. You know, if it's like some

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<v Speaker 1>crazy color sparkles on it, but I can't wear it again. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you gotta wear it's like a family reunion where nobody else.

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<v Speaker 1>But everything's on Instagram now, So that's the problem, you

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<v Speaker 1>know these days. I don't know if guys have this problem,

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<v Speaker 1>but I feel like, as a girl and as an artist,

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<v Speaker 1>if I wear something and I put it on Instagram,

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<v Speaker 1>then I'm like dead, Yes, then it's dead. Then it's

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<v Speaker 1>really dead. So I always have to try to somehow

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<v Speaker 1>make it different. But you your style makes you intimidating.

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<v Speaker 1>Why because it's really cool. But I told you the

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<v Speaker 1>first time I met you, I thought you were way cool.

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<v Speaker 1>And because I don't know, yeah, well then we started talking.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know that we knew each other before I said, Hey,

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<v Speaker 1>come out on the road and do shows. Did we Nope,

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<v Speaker 1>we had never met. So the story with me learning

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<v Speaker 1>your music is that there were other songwriters that you're

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<v Speaker 1>either friends of or their fans of yours. Yeah. I

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<v Speaker 1>heard that last night for the first time, and I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, how they're Morgan and Caitlin Smith, and you know,

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<v Speaker 1>they would say, hey, Jillian Jacklin is really great. You should,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, really listen to music that's really sweet. And

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<v Speaker 1>the first time that I listened to your music, I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, wow, I actually like her music, not just

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<v Speaker 1>for my job but for my personal taste. Like I

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<v Speaker 1>like your sound because it's cool and it's a little

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<v Speaker 1>bit throwback. It's a little total leftist center. And so

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know if you like the description of your

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<v Speaker 1>music or not. I appreciate any and all descriptions because

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know where to start. I get asked that

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<v Speaker 1>question all the time. How do you describe it? And

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<v Speaker 1>I I don't quite know how to put it into words.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like, it's just me, It's what I do. But anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>continue it was I was like, man, she's way cool,

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<v Speaker 1>so she's probably gonna be too cool. So I just said, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>come out and do some shows. And when you were

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<v Speaker 1>out playing with Ryan Adams and I saw your plans,

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, oh, man, she's about to come out

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<v Speaker 1>with the Raging Idiots. It gets no more polarof than

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<v Speaker 1>Ryan Adams to the Raging Idiots. But like I said,

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<v Speaker 1>you have sort of created this this you know, niche

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<v Speaker 1>in this market where you do something really unique and

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<v Speaker 1>you also word artists that nobody else is listening to.

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<v Speaker 1>So for me, it was an opportunity to obviously get

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<v Speaker 1>to know you, but kind of to you know, meet

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<v Speaker 1>your fans and play music for people that seem to

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<v Speaker 1>really want to hear new artists. And that was important

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<v Speaker 1>to me first and foremost. What's the difference in opening

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<v Speaker 1>for Ryan Adams and opening for me? Rus are actually

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<v Speaker 1>the same? Like full theaters? Yeah, it's like the same,

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<v Speaker 1>because yours were what three three thousand and four thousand

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<v Speaker 1>theaters to three. But so that was the vibe. I'll

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<v Speaker 1>only play theaters because I have to. When you're in

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<v Speaker 1>a chair, yeah, your attention is forward. Yeah, You're not

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<v Speaker 1>spending a lot time talking people behind you to the

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<v Speaker 1>side of you. So I want to captive audience me too,

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<v Speaker 1>and so that's that's why I only play theaters unless

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<v Speaker 1>the festival comes. Yeah. No, I that's you. And there

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<v Speaker 1>were some similarities with you with your shows and Ryan's,

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<v Speaker 1>but only to go ahead. Um no, what was the difference? Um?

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I don't know. He's like there was a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of sage burning backstage. Yeah, yeah, I know. He

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<v Speaker 1>he like z ends out his whole backstage. So it's

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<v Speaker 1>like he brings a you know, a pac Man on

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<v Speaker 1>the road and then he burns like all this incense

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<v Speaker 1>and stuff like a video game. Yeah, like the full

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<v Speaker 1>pac Man video game, Like he brings it with him

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<v Speaker 1>and yeah, no he that was such a fluke thing anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean that that happened. How does that happen? Did

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<v Speaker 1>he hear your music? Yeah? He heard my song hate

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<v Speaker 1>Me and uh I guess on Spotify and he messaged

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<v Speaker 1>me on Twitter and he was like, hey, did you

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<v Speaker 1>write this is this you singing? I'm like, yes, that's cool, right,

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<v Speaker 1>yeah yeah, Ryan at Oh I freaked out like the

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<v Speaker 1>gap from Summer sixty nine Robin Hood. Yeah, No, I

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<v Speaker 1>am a I am a huge, huge fan, like have

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<v Speaker 1>been for a long time. So of course that was crazy.

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<v Speaker 1>And then like a month later he had he had

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<v Speaker 1>slots opening up, and so my agent called me was like, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>Ryan Adams wants to know if you can be in

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<v Speaker 1>Minneapolis tomorrow and I was like, yes I can. Who

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<v Speaker 1>paid more for the opening? Because I think I paid

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<v Speaker 1>a thousand dollars a show? Did I pay more to

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<v Speaker 1>Ryan Adams? Pay more? You don't have to tell me

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<v Speaker 1>how much you paid. I just wonder who paid you

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<v Speaker 1>more to how much did you pay me a thousand

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<v Speaker 1>bucks a show? I feel like it was more than that.

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<v Speaker 1>You think he paid you more? No, I think you

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<v Speaker 1>think that. I won't pay anyone less than a thousand

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<v Speaker 1>bucks because I wanted them to make a little money

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<v Speaker 1>aside from just travel. Because it was a thousand he

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<v Speaker 1>paid a little bit more. He did. Come on, he's

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<v Speaker 1>probably making more than two. If I charge you more

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<v Speaker 1>for a ticket, that's what I gotta do. I gotta

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<v Speaker 1>take care of the artist better. Please, You're awesome. We

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<v Speaker 1>had a lot of fun. I'm fun right, so fun.

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<v Speaker 1>My point was some of the nicest people you have

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<v Speaker 1>around you. You surround yourself, so I surround like everybody

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<v Speaker 1>around me. Has to be just like they are every

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<v Speaker 1>everyone they are Mike d Eddie, like all sweet people. Yeah, yeah, Ellen, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I love Ellen. It was I have a really great crew. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you have to be awesome as a human to roll

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<v Speaker 1>on my team, all my teams, if it's my morning show,

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<v Speaker 1>the band, the standard crew. I mean you took my

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<v Speaker 1>tour manager. Wait a second, I forgot you a trick. No,

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't say it's a bad thing. I'm actually very

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<v Speaker 1>very happy for her. I have an awesome tour manager.

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<v Speaker 1>She's so great she is. Yeah, and I did call

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<v Speaker 1>you because I was happy that you you took her.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want to take her from you, No, I

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<v Speaker 1>would tell you. And if you can offer her a

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<v Speaker 1>better job to take. I only want people to have

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<v Speaker 1>great jobs and have great lives and careers. Well, well,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know how great. It's not an upgrade, that's

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<v Speaker 1>for sure, because you put her on a tour bus.

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<v Speaker 1>She's going to be driving a van with me, so

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<v Speaker 1>we dropped sometimes if it's three or four hours, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>well we put a bus, you know, fancy plane. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you know that stuff. I know you do. I got

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<v Speaker 1>the offer a couple of times. I couldn't make it happen,

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<v Speaker 1>and I wanted to, but I had more than people.

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<v Speaker 1>There are only so many seats. I know, I know,

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<v Speaker 1>but you did. So. I have a tour manager and

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<v Speaker 1>her name Titia. She's awesome. Did you meet her out

0:11:04.640 --> 0:11:06.480
<v Speaker 1>with me? Is that how you knew her? And then

0:11:06.520 --> 0:11:10.040
<v Speaker 1>Julian tried to hire him like she did hire her. Yeah,

0:11:10.160 --> 0:11:11.800
<v Speaker 1>but not. I don't think you hired her from me

0:11:11.840 --> 0:11:14.640
<v Speaker 1>at all. You're just using her outside of me. I think.

0:11:14.760 --> 0:11:17.200
<v Speaker 1>I think that's the case. Yeah, I think that's the case.

0:11:17.520 --> 0:11:20.320
<v Speaker 1>You know, speaking of private jets, I just learned that

0:11:20.920 --> 0:11:25.520
<v Speaker 1>artists will play shows like for these private jet companies

0:11:25.559 --> 0:11:28.000
<v Speaker 1>and barter for flight time. And I was like, people

0:11:28.160 --> 0:11:31.880
<v Speaker 1>in society, I will do this. That's the that's how

0:11:31.920 --> 0:11:34.360
<v Speaker 1>you get in, Like I just it's amazing. Without I

0:11:34.760 --> 0:11:36.440
<v Speaker 1>don't want to put him on. I would say his name,

0:11:36.480 --> 0:11:38.400
<v Speaker 1>but I think tell you after recording. He came to

0:11:38.400 --> 0:11:39.600
<v Speaker 1>me the other Day said he you should do more

0:11:39.600 --> 0:11:44.199
<v Speaker 1>of this. I have did deal and so are you

0:11:44.240 --> 0:11:46.680
<v Speaker 1>play shows and then they give you ours. That's crazy.

0:11:46.720 --> 0:11:48.480
<v Speaker 1>You don't pay any money. You may have to play

0:11:48.480 --> 0:11:50.959
<v Speaker 1>taxes on it. Okay, there's the one thing you can't

0:11:50.960 --> 0:11:56.080
<v Speaker 1>avoid taxes. Yeah, but it is amazing and I can't

0:11:56.080 --> 0:11:57.600
<v Speaker 1>say that happened. It's not a system. I just have

0:11:57.679 --> 0:11:59.800
<v Speaker 1>done that before and they go, hey, can I use

0:11:59.840 --> 0:12:03.960
<v Speaker 1>your services and exchange We'll give you our services. Yeah,

0:12:04.200 --> 0:12:08.800
<v Speaker 1>that's yes, it is great. Um. All my point was

0:12:08.800 --> 0:12:13.240
<v Speaker 1>was that you you seemed quite difficult to approach, and

0:12:13.240 --> 0:12:14.679
<v Speaker 1>then I said, you know what, I'm just gonna see

0:12:14.720 --> 0:12:18.000
<v Speaker 1>and then I was completely wrong. You're super You seem

0:12:18.080 --> 0:12:21.480
<v Speaker 1>super cool because you were super cool. Sometimes people look

0:12:21.480 --> 0:12:25.320
<v Speaker 1>super cool and they're they're they're a little difficult. Uh yeah,

0:12:25.440 --> 0:12:27.960
<v Speaker 1>I mean it's I know people will probably always say this,

0:12:27.960 --> 0:12:30.760
<v Speaker 1>but like I'm really not. I'm just no, no, I

0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:33.120
<v Speaker 1>vouch for that now. Yeah I'm not. But even your

0:12:33.200 --> 0:12:36.840
<v Speaker 1>artwork is cool, Like there's a vibe to you red

0:12:37.000 --> 0:12:41.600
<v Speaker 1>ro cool vibeeah. Yeah, well I love that stuff. That's

0:12:41.640 --> 0:12:44.680
<v Speaker 1>my one of my favorite parts of this is design.

0:12:44.840 --> 0:12:48.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm like a huge just I love all things that

0:12:48.640 --> 0:12:52.719
<v Speaker 1>have to do with um. I mean graphics and photography

0:12:52.800 --> 0:12:56.080
<v Speaker 1>and anything visual. I've just always loved that stuff. So

0:12:56.840 --> 0:12:58.760
<v Speaker 1>I do all of it myself, and I kind of

0:12:58.800 --> 0:13:01.679
<v Speaker 1>just tell you, yeah, most most of it. I mean

0:13:01.760 --> 0:13:04.920
<v Speaker 1>some stuff I can't actually do, like on Photoshop, so

0:13:05.000 --> 0:13:07.079
<v Speaker 1>I have someone from my label do it. So I

0:13:07.160 --> 0:13:13.240
<v Speaker 1>do Microsoft paint no old school in the computer with

0:13:13.280 --> 0:13:17.400
<v Speaker 1>the colors. Okay, we do a commercial, all right. Let

0:13:17.440 --> 0:13:20.120
<v Speaker 1>me talk about this. Blue Apron will come to your

0:13:20.120 --> 0:13:23.000
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0:13:23.000 --> 0:13:26.439
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0:13:26.800 --> 0:13:28.240
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0:13:28.240 --> 0:13:31.320
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0:13:31.320 --> 0:13:33.800
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0:13:33.880 --> 0:13:37.160
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<v Speaker 1>They have twelve new recipes every week and it really

0:13:42.679 --> 0:13:45.200
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0:13:45.200 --> 0:13:48.400
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0:13:48.440 --> 0:13:54.600
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0:13:54.720 --> 0:13:59.280
<v Speaker 1>Right now, Quick bucatini with broccoli and peccorino cheese. Haven't

0:13:59.320 --> 0:14:02.800
<v Speaker 1>had that one? Pan fried chicken breast with sweet and

0:14:02.880 --> 0:14:07.000
<v Speaker 1>zangya and tangy zucchini. I've had that one. The Italian

0:14:07.000 --> 0:14:09.600
<v Speaker 1>style shrimp and sweet peppers of forgolas arta pasta, and

0:14:09.640 --> 0:14:12.880
<v Speaker 1>the Parmesan crusted steaks and mashed potatoes and broccoli. Right now,

0:14:12.920 --> 0:14:15.040
<v Speaker 1>Blue Apron is treating to you. If you're listening to

0:14:15.080 --> 0:14:17.440
<v Speaker 1>this here on the Bobby Cast, thirty dollars off your

0:14:17.440 --> 0:14:20.080
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0:14:20.160 --> 0:14:23.200
<v Speaker 1>Bobby Cast. You gotta put that slash Bobby cast though

0:14:23.360 --> 0:14:25.920
<v Speaker 1>blue apron dot com slash Bobby Cast. Blue Apron is

0:14:25.920 --> 0:14:29.320
<v Speaker 1>a better way to cook. Okay, So let's let's talk

0:14:29.320 --> 0:14:31.720
<v Speaker 1>about your music for a second. The first song, because

0:14:31.760 --> 0:14:33.640
<v Speaker 1>I remember I had to come into the you've been

0:14:33.680 --> 0:14:36.160
<v Speaker 1>on the radio show before? Yeah, So I remember I

0:14:36.200 --> 0:14:38.600
<v Speaker 1>was flying to Mexico that day and we went in

0:14:38.640 --> 0:14:41.760
<v Speaker 1>at like seven, What time show going? Well, I know

0:14:41.800 --> 0:14:43.920
<v Speaker 1>it starts to five, but you think you came in later. Yeah,

0:14:43.960 --> 0:14:46.720
<v Speaker 1>we came in and um, you had called us like

0:14:46.800 --> 0:14:50.080
<v Speaker 1>on a Monday, and it was a Wednesday or something,

0:14:50.120 --> 0:14:53.760
<v Speaker 1>and so you know, I had wanted to be on

0:14:53.800 --> 0:14:55.120
<v Speaker 1>your show for a long time, and I was like,

0:14:55.120 --> 0:14:57.720
<v Speaker 1>oh shit, okay, we're going in like in two days.

0:14:57.760 --> 0:15:00.400
<v Speaker 1>And I had never done that before. That's right. It

0:15:00.440 --> 0:15:03.480
<v Speaker 1>was your first ever radio You did the word ship.

0:15:03.560 --> 0:15:06.640
<v Speaker 1>You did that's right. And we were like, whoa, you

0:15:06.680 --> 0:15:08.880
<v Speaker 1>can't do that because on this you can say whatever

0:15:08.920 --> 0:15:11.640
<v Speaker 1>you want, because this isn't good because these airwaves aren't

0:15:11.640 --> 0:15:15.600
<v Speaker 1>regulated by the government. The government owns the radio airwaves

0:15:15.640 --> 0:15:19.520
<v Speaker 1>and they regulate them, right, and you were breaking the law,

0:15:20.200 --> 0:15:23.360
<v Speaker 1>but they don't put you in jail. They and I

0:15:23.400 --> 0:15:25.800
<v Speaker 1>had just come off a million dollar fine about ten

0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:28.160
<v Speaker 1>months prior. You didn't have famillion dollars. I got fined

0:15:28.160 --> 0:15:31.280
<v Speaker 1>a million of my company paid it for me. Okay,

0:15:31.360 --> 0:15:35.160
<v Speaker 1>I want pay. I mean, I guess that's a big plan.

0:15:35.240 --> 0:15:38.640
<v Speaker 1>That's a multis like, but I cost my company a

0:15:38.680 --> 0:15:41.520
<v Speaker 1>million dollars for something you said, yeah, for something I

0:15:41.560 --> 0:15:44.560
<v Speaker 1>did on the air. And so when you came on

0:15:44.680 --> 0:15:49.280
<v Speaker 1>and you cursed, were like, but I brought you in.

0:15:49.640 --> 0:15:51.800
<v Speaker 1>Nobody had prepped me before I walked into the road.

0:15:51.880 --> 0:15:53.360
<v Speaker 1>I told you that was the best way to come

0:15:53.360 --> 0:15:57.000
<v Speaker 1>in because you weren't media trained. Yeah, and I haven't

0:15:57.040 --> 0:16:00.760
<v Speaker 1>been since them and you shouldn't be if you actually

0:16:01.280 --> 0:16:03.880
<v Speaker 1>have thoughts. I feel like you shouldn't be. The only

0:16:03.920 --> 0:16:07.080
<v Speaker 1>things that that real art and I say artists people

0:16:07.080 --> 0:16:09.880
<v Speaker 1>to have something to say creatively, maybe not speak it

0:16:09.960 --> 0:16:12.040
<v Speaker 1>or sing. But the only thing you should really be

0:16:12.080 --> 0:16:16.000
<v Speaker 1>trained on or the quirks if you go uh or

0:16:16.040 --> 0:16:19.920
<v Speaker 1>your mouth goes, or if you kept scratching yourself like

0:16:19.920 --> 0:16:23.760
<v Speaker 1>you just did for the whole the whole thing, just

0:16:23.840 --> 0:16:26.960
<v Speaker 1>like those are the little things that you should be

0:16:27.040 --> 0:16:29.360
<v Speaker 1>told about, right, Yeah, but you don't have those, so

0:16:29.400 --> 0:16:31.440
<v Speaker 1>you're good. So you came in. Here's what I remember

0:16:31.480 --> 0:16:35.680
<v Speaker 1>from this. You came in and you I was really nervous.

0:16:35.920 --> 0:16:37.800
<v Speaker 1>I couldn't tell Oh, yeah, I was very nervous. I

0:16:37.800 --> 0:16:39.640
<v Speaker 1>don't think we've done any shows together by then either.

0:16:39.720 --> 0:16:42.280
<v Speaker 1>And then I remember that I like had to put

0:16:42.680 --> 0:16:45.320
<v Speaker 1>the lyrics to rich Girl up on my iPhone and

0:16:45.360 --> 0:16:47.080
<v Speaker 1>I couldn't get my phone too. It was just and

0:16:47.120 --> 0:16:50.360
<v Speaker 1>I was like probably shaking and sweating, and I don't

0:16:50.360 --> 0:16:53.600
<v Speaker 1>you know what what sucks about me is that in

0:16:53.640 --> 0:16:55.200
<v Speaker 1>the same thing, I guess with anyone, I've been doing

0:16:55.240 --> 0:16:57.080
<v Speaker 1>it so long, I don't know what it's like to

0:16:57.080 --> 0:16:59.800
<v Speaker 1>come from the other side. Yeah, I get that. So

0:17:00.000 --> 0:17:03.160
<v Speaker 1>it's intimidating though walking into that room knowing who you

0:17:03.200 --> 0:17:07.160
<v Speaker 1>guys are. It is, yeah, because everybody has played that show,

0:17:07.480 --> 0:17:09.840
<v Speaker 1>like everyone important, and so when you finally get to

0:17:09.840 --> 0:17:13.520
<v Speaker 1>play the show, you're like, oh, I remember you came

0:17:13.560 --> 0:17:15.919
<v Speaker 1>in and again I was a big fan, so I said, hey,

0:17:15.920 --> 0:17:18.879
<v Speaker 1>I WI want you to play multiple songs, and I

0:17:18.920 --> 0:17:21.040
<v Speaker 1>think you played two of your own and a cover,

0:17:21.680 --> 0:17:24.600
<v Speaker 1>which is rare because most of the time, so my audience,

0:17:24.880 --> 0:17:26.600
<v Speaker 1>if they don't know an artist, what I like to

0:17:26.640 --> 0:17:30.240
<v Speaker 1>do is let them play a cover. So the audience goes, oh,

0:17:30.320 --> 0:17:32.840
<v Speaker 1>I'm familiar with the song they're playing, and I also

0:17:32.960 --> 0:17:34.719
<v Speaker 1>like what they're doing, so I'm gonna listen for their

0:17:34.760 --> 0:17:38.240
<v Speaker 1>original if anything else. Because some people will go covers

0:17:38.240 --> 0:17:40.080
<v Speaker 1>out my thing, and I go, that's great. But they

0:17:40.119 --> 0:17:42.159
<v Speaker 1>are my audiences thing for the most part, because they

0:17:42.200 --> 0:17:44.679
<v Speaker 1>could be warmed up to a new artist completely. I

0:17:44.760 --> 0:17:47.840
<v Speaker 1>understand that more now I have a very complicated relationship

0:17:47.920 --> 0:17:50.479
<v Speaker 1>with cover songs people do. Yeah, And I think I

0:17:50.560 --> 0:17:52.600
<v Speaker 1>was like just scarred as a child because I did

0:17:52.640 --> 0:17:54.720
<v Speaker 1>a lot of karaoke and like had to play weddings

0:17:54.760 --> 0:17:58.200
<v Speaker 1>and I just didn't. And with this age, of social media.

0:17:58.280 --> 0:18:01.879
<v Speaker 1>A lot of people I think can like they only

0:18:01.960 --> 0:18:04.159
<v Speaker 1>do covers, and then it just feels like, what do

0:18:04.240 --> 0:18:06.199
<v Speaker 1>you have to say personally? You know, I don't need

0:18:06.240 --> 0:18:08.240
<v Speaker 1>to see you sing someone else's song all the time,

0:18:08.600 --> 0:18:10.679
<v Speaker 1>So I tried to stay away from that. But I

0:18:10.720 --> 0:18:13.280
<v Speaker 1>get it. When an audience sees a show for the

0:18:13.320 --> 0:18:15.920
<v Speaker 1>first time, they have no idea who you are. They

0:18:15.960 --> 0:18:18.080
<v Speaker 1>get really excited when you play the cover song because

0:18:18.119 --> 0:18:19.960
<v Speaker 1>then they feel like they can identify with first of

0:18:19.960 --> 0:18:23.120
<v Speaker 1>all the song you picked. They're like, oh, okay, they

0:18:23.160 --> 0:18:25.760
<v Speaker 1>like that song too, that speaks to them. And then

0:18:25.800 --> 0:18:27.639
<v Speaker 1>if you do a really good job, then they've heard

0:18:27.680 --> 0:18:30.080
<v Speaker 1>an awesome version of that song that they've never heard.

0:18:30.119 --> 0:18:32.960
<v Speaker 1>So I am warming up to it now and I'm

0:18:33.000 --> 0:18:36.080
<v Speaker 1>having to learn more covers because the country audiences love them.

0:18:36.080 --> 0:18:37.480
<v Speaker 1>I don't think you should have to do a lot

0:18:37.520 --> 0:18:40.720
<v Speaker 1>of them, but for me on this show, because we

0:18:40.880 --> 0:18:42.920
<v Speaker 1>do about I think five million a week to listen

0:18:43.000 --> 0:18:45.280
<v Speaker 1>to the show, right, so I'm dealing with a major

0:18:45.400 --> 0:18:48.520
<v Speaker 1>audience at one time. And so even on the podcast

0:18:48.520 --> 0:18:50.760
<v Speaker 1>when the podcast is different, even the show podcast not

0:18:50.840 --> 0:18:53.959
<v Speaker 1>this one, because people can skip things, I have to

0:18:54.080 --> 0:18:57.439
<v Speaker 1>keep them when I'm live and if they change it,

0:18:57.440 --> 0:18:59.919
<v Speaker 1>then I may not get that as high of a ratings.

0:19:00.040 --> 0:19:02.359
<v Speaker 1>So in order, if someone plays an unknown song by

0:19:02.400 --> 0:19:05.560
<v Speaker 1>an unknown artist, people go check something else out. I

0:19:05.880 --> 0:19:08.359
<v Speaker 1>might come back. But if you play something they know,

0:19:09.080 --> 0:19:12.359
<v Speaker 1>you kind of lure them in to something that you

0:19:12.480 --> 0:19:15.160
<v Speaker 1>were doing now in the tone of your voice even

0:19:15.240 --> 0:19:16.919
<v Speaker 1>you know, like if they like the way you sound,

0:19:17.000 --> 0:19:19.400
<v Speaker 1>And you did Rich Girl, and it's fantastic. I don't

0:19:19.400 --> 0:19:22.000
<v Speaker 1>remember you're not having the lyrics. I just remember nailing it.

0:19:22.400 --> 0:19:24.880
<v Speaker 1>I remember you saying it a bad word. And then

0:19:25.520 --> 0:19:28.439
<v Speaker 1>you played two songs, and I remember that. And I

0:19:28.440 --> 0:19:33.359
<v Speaker 1>don't look at iTunes as much because the days of

0:19:33.440 --> 0:19:37.359
<v Speaker 1>downloading music are still up on us, but a lot

0:19:37.560 --> 0:19:40.560
<v Speaker 1>of people are, all the younger are streaming more than downloading.

0:19:41.080 --> 0:19:42.600
<v Speaker 1>But I looked at eye Twits, and both of the

0:19:42.640 --> 0:19:44.720
<v Speaker 1>songs that you played on the show, I just went boom,

0:19:44.800 --> 0:19:47.560
<v Speaker 1>and then they both jumped really high, which meant they

0:19:47.600 --> 0:19:50.320
<v Speaker 1>bought both songs, which meant they weren't just liking a song,

0:19:50.440 --> 0:19:53.120
<v Speaker 1>they were liking an artist. And I was like, oh,

0:19:53.200 --> 0:19:56.880
<v Speaker 1>that's like I thought you were good. But I think

0:19:56.880 --> 0:19:58.640
<v Speaker 1>my connection with the audience is a lot of times

0:19:58.640 --> 0:19:59.920
<v Speaker 1>not always, but a lot of times I can speak

0:19:59.920 --> 0:20:02.200
<v Speaker 1>for them and go, this is good and they liked you.

0:20:02.680 --> 0:20:04.680
<v Speaker 1>And remember thinking that, Wow, she played two songs and

0:20:04.680 --> 0:20:08.720
<v Speaker 1>they're both being downloaded like crazy. Yeah, well that's I

0:20:08.800 --> 0:20:11.679
<v Speaker 1>have to tell you, like you gravitating towards hate Me,

0:20:11.720 --> 0:20:13.320
<v Speaker 1>and I think it was hate Me and God bless or.

0:20:13.359 --> 0:20:16.159
<v Speaker 1>I don't know what you played, but I remember you

0:20:16.200 --> 0:20:19.200
<v Speaker 1>liked hate Me. And just the fact that you liked

0:20:19.240 --> 0:20:21.679
<v Speaker 1>hate Me and decided to play that song. You know,

0:20:21.720 --> 0:20:24.560
<v Speaker 1>that was a big discussion with my whole team, like, well,

0:20:25.119 --> 0:20:27.800
<v Speaker 1>Bobby likes hate Me, and we were trying to figure

0:20:27.800 --> 0:20:30.160
<v Speaker 1>out what the song be the single for radio. There's

0:20:30.200 --> 0:20:32.680
<v Speaker 1>a difference on what and what I think because hate

0:20:32.680 --> 0:20:35.040
<v Speaker 1>Me is my favorite song. Yeah it is, come on.

0:20:36.960 --> 0:20:39.719
<v Speaker 1>But again, as a business guy, I would say this

0:20:39.800 --> 0:20:43.040
<v Speaker 1>isn't your radio song. But at first, yeah, because I

0:20:43.119 --> 0:20:45.560
<v Speaker 1>heard have something stupid enough, a little a little more

0:20:45.640 --> 0:20:48.560
<v Speaker 1>tempo at first, because you have these working against you.

0:20:48.560 --> 0:20:53.760
<v Speaker 1>It's a slower song and your female and it's about

0:20:53.760 --> 0:20:58.000
<v Speaker 1>a relationship it Yeah, and they are all these little

0:20:58.040 --> 0:21:01.120
<v Speaker 1>idiosyncracies that people will look for to shoot it down, like, oh,

0:21:01.119 --> 0:21:05.680
<v Speaker 1>it's too negative. Because programmers much like myself are huge douchebags.

0:21:06.000 --> 0:21:08.520
<v Speaker 1>We are, And I don't think a douchebag means you're

0:21:08.520 --> 0:21:10.600
<v Speaker 1>a bad person. I think a douchebag is someone who

0:21:10.600 --> 0:21:13.360
<v Speaker 1>thinks they know more than they actually do. You're probably right,

0:21:13.400 --> 0:21:16.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm the epitome of a douchebag. Yeah. What I've learned

0:21:16.760 --> 0:21:20.680
<v Speaker 1>from radio is I think everyone is generally still trying

0:21:20.680 --> 0:21:24.320
<v Speaker 1>to figure out exactly what's going on. Um And not

0:21:24.400 --> 0:21:27.160
<v Speaker 1>to discredit anyone, because I think everyone is doing their best,

0:21:27.200 --> 0:21:29.800
<v Speaker 1>but I think it's it's changing really fast, and so

0:21:29.840 --> 0:21:33.120
<v Speaker 1>I think people are just trying to maintain some sort

0:21:33.160 --> 0:21:36.560
<v Speaker 1>of like understanding. And maybe that comes off as like,

0:21:36.800 --> 0:21:39.160
<v Speaker 1>here's why, Jillian and Jacqueline, I'm the smartest person radio.

0:21:39.560 --> 0:21:41.640
<v Speaker 1>You're ready, Yeah, I'm ready because I know I don't

0:21:41.640 --> 0:21:46.520
<v Speaker 1>know anything. Yeah, it's very Socrates, who you really do?

0:21:46.560 --> 0:21:49.800
<v Speaker 1>You really think you don't know? There's nothing to know

0:21:49.880 --> 0:21:52.600
<v Speaker 1>in a creative space. You can't actually know anything. There

0:21:52.680 --> 0:21:55.159
<v Speaker 1>is no form in a creative space. You can take

0:21:55.200 --> 0:21:57.720
<v Speaker 1>your best guesses. You can hear things and you can

0:21:57.920 --> 0:21:59.600
<v Speaker 1>try to relate them. Because I have an audience that

0:21:59.680 --> 0:22:03.560
<v Speaker 1>trust what I'm seeing and what I'm hearing, and most

0:22:03.600 --> 0:22:06.760
<v Speaker 1>of the time they agree with me, and so they

0:22:06.800 --> 0:22:08.680
<v Speaker 1>have that trust. They give me the benefit of that.

0:22:08.800 --> 0:22:12.560
<v Speaker 1>But there's I can't possibly know something that's not tangible.

0:22:13.400 --> 0:22:15.920
<v Speaker 1>So you don't ever worry that you need to have

0:22:16.040 --> 0:22:19.320
<v Speaker 1>like a handle on what is popular or I'm worried

0:22:19.320 --> 0:22:21.359
<v Speaker 1>about that I've lost a step, but you don't. You

0:22:21.359 --> 0:22:23.600
<v Speaker 1>don't worry about that. Now. If you said, what's my

0:22:23.760 --> 0:22:26.840
<v Speaker 1>radio song? I could tell you. So you have like

0:22:26.840 --> 0:22:29.000
<v Speaker 1>a separate part of your brain. That's like, okay, I

0:22:29.119 --> 0:22:34.800
<v Speaker 1>understand what radio would want. Yeah, because that's just data analysis,

0:22:35.480 --> 0:22:39.920
<v Speaker 1>watching what other douchebags are doing, you know, being knowing

0:22:40.000 --> 0:22:42.800
<v Speaker 1>all the douche baggs being one myself, like it takes

0:22:43.040 --> 0:22:46.040
<v Speaker 1>a solid douche bag to and I'm the king of them.

0:22:46.840 --> 0:22:49.520
<v Speaker 1>So but no, but I yes, it's a different thing.

0:22:50.400 --> 0:22:53.040
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, there have been I don't think about that stuff.

0:22:53.080 --> 0:22:55.600
<v Speaker 1>So I don't know. Yeah, I managed to do sixteen

0:22:55.640 --> 0:22:58.240
<v Speaker 1>weeks of a radio tour and I still don't check anything.

0:22:58.800 --> 0:23:02.320
<v Speaker 1>I don't My brain doesn't go there. I just it

0:23:02.359 --> 0:23:05.600
<v Speaker 1>would ruin my creativity. It would literally squash it and

0:23:05.640 --> 0:23:08.439
<v Speaker 1>I would be dead inside. So I just can't. I

0:23:08.480 --> 0:23:11.560
<v Speaker 1>just don't look at it. I don't ask questions. I'm

0:23:11.640 --> 0:23:14.520
<v Speaker 1>such the opposite. Well, there's some artists that like really

0:23:14.560 --> 0:23:16.240
<v Speaker 1>are good at it and they want to know and

0:23:16.280 --> 0:23:18.199
<v Speaker 1>they ask all the questions and they stay up on it,

0:23:18.240 --> 0:23:21.400
<v Speaker 1>and I commend them. I don't work that way. I

0:23:21.480 --> 0:23:26.320
<v Speaker 1>am so personally connected to every lyric of my songs

0:23:26.359 --> 0:23:29.040
<v Speaker 1>that I I it would crush me. Like if I

0:23:29.080 --> 0:23:32.240
<v Speaker 1>watched something die, Do you look at comments? Let's say

0:23:32.280 --> 0:23:37.160
<v Speaker 1>hate me up? Oh no YouTube, No, I would never

0:23:37.840 --> 0:23:42.800
<v Speaker 1>comments because it's never good. No, you're walking into are

0:23:43.200 --> 0:23:47.160
<v Speaker 1>But sometimes times I've seen, like you know, at the top,

0:23:47.160 --> 0:23:48.960
<v Speaker 1>they'll have the thumbs up and the thumbs down, and

0:23:48.960 --> 0:23:52.400
<v Speaker 1>I'll be like, who the hell bumbs down? Like who

0:23:52.440 --> 0:23:55.399
<v Speaker 1>are you? You can go you can save an orphan

0:23:55.720 --> 0:23:58.800
<v Speaker 1>from a bus flying over clip and someone thumbs down. Seriously,

0:23:58.960 --> 0:24:01.560
<v Speaker 1>it's too easy to make if someone feel disliked, and

0:24:01.600 --> 0:24:06.000
<v Speaker 1>there's a power in having an equal voice going I

0:24:06.040 --> 0:24:07.520
<v Speaker 1>don't like it. And I finally had the power to

0:24:07.520 --> 0:24:10.280
<v Speaker 1>tell someone that I don't because what I think is

0:24:10.520 --> 0:24:14.920
<v Speaker 1>it's very much into the psyche of like myself. I've

0:24:14.960 --> 0:24:16.840
<v Speaker 1>been told a long time that hey, you suck, you

0:24:16.840 --> 0:24:19.280
<v Speaker 1>don't speak right. So the natural and I'm just using

0:24:19.320 --> 0:24:21.320
<v Speaker 1>myself as an example. Yeah, I would go, oh, I

0:24:21.320 --> 0:24:23.119
<v Speaker 1>don't like being told that I'm not good, So I

0:24:23.160 --> 0:24:25.239
<v Speaker 1>finally have an even voice, and I'm going to tell

0:24:25.280 --> 0:24:27.439
<v Speaker 1>someone they're not good. And I think a lot of

0:24:27.480 --> 0:24:30.000
<v Speaker 1>that happens. So, yeah, I don't think they actually just

0:24:30.080 --> 0:24:34.200
<v Speaker 1>like things on Facebook page. I can't. I don't even

0:24:34.280 --> 0:24:36.560
<v Speaker 1>go and I say this on the air, I don't

0:24:36.560 --> 0:24:38.520
<v Speaker 1>go to my show's Facebook page. I don't even go

0:24:38.600 --> 0:24:42.280
<v Speaker 1>look at it maybe three times a year, because it's

0:24:42.320 --> 0:24:46.239
<v Speaker 1>it's just that it's just a hatred mindfield. Yeah, and

0:24:46.280 --> 0:24:50.240
<v Speaker 1>that's unfortunate. I don't know why people don't realize that

0:24:50.520 --> 0:24:52.640
<v Speaker 1>something they type on their computer and send out into

0:24:52.680 --> 0:24:55.600
<v Speaker 1>the universe, that they don't realize it has power. Because

0:24:55.680 --> 0:24:57.720
<v Speaker 1>that's what I can't figure out. It's not real. It's

0:24:57.760 --> 0:25:00.320
<v Speaker 1>so real to me, like I would never do that.

0:25:00.320 --> 0:25:02.439
<v Speaker 1>That's just because you've had a taste of it, and

0:25:02.480 --> 0:25:04.920
<v Speaker 1>maybe you may maybe a better human too. But I'd

0:25:04.960 --> 0:25:08.359
<v Speaker 1>like to think I'm that have been just disgusting to me,

0:25:08.480 --> 0:25:10.399
<v Speaker 1>and you meet him in person and there actually pretty

0:25:10.440 --> 0:25:13.000
<v Speaker 1>nice people and they're like, oh, I'm sorry that, Yeah,

0:25:13.160 --> 0:25:15.640
<v Speaker 1>it was just I just think when you're on the computer,

0:25:15.680 --> 0:25:18.880
<v Speaker 1>you don't feel like it's real life. That is probably

0:25:19.320 --> 0:25:22.800
<v Speaker 1>messing up our psyche in some like very deep psychological way.

0:25:23.440 --> 0:25:26.680
<v Speaker 1>I think that we're not connecting our actions with other

0:25:26.760 --> 0:25:30.040
<v Speaker 1>people's feelings. We also don't think that people actually see

0:25:30.080 --> 0:25:33.639
<v Speaker 1>what we're writing. If let's say Chris Rock puts out

0:25:33.640 --> 0:25:36.200
<v Speaker 1>a comedy special and I give a little comment, I

0:25:36.200 --> 0:25:39.640
<v Speaker 1>don't think, yeah, that's true. I really feel like there's

0:25:39.720 --> 0:25:42.359
<v Speaker 1>enough disassociation that you're like, yeah, I get it. You

0:25:42.400 --> 0:25:45.920
<v Speaker 1>feel free and clear and safe. But will he absolutely yeah,

0:25:46.040 --> 0:25:48.240
<v Speaker 1>I mean probably probably. I won't mention. His name is

0:25:48.320 --> 0:25:51.159
<v Speaker 1>a plus less artist and I'm very friendly with and

0:25:51.560 --> 0:25:53.040
<v Speaker 1>he put his out out and he was reading reviews

0:25:53.040 --> 0:25:54.520
<v Speaker 1>of it and he was like, he's like, I can't

0:25:54.560 --> 0:25:57.600
<v Speaker 1>believe that the people he was reading literal reviews the

0:25:57.680 --> 0:26:00.440
<v Speaker 1>day it came out is he's an ape you can

0:26:00.440 --> 0:26:06.160
<v Speaker 1>get And he was like, the album was huge. See.

0:26:06.160 --> 0:26:09.239
<v Speaker 1>That just goes to show though there's everything is relative too.

0:26:09.400 --> 0:26:13.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm learning that everything is relative and everything there's conditions

0:26:13.400 --> 0:26:18.600
<v Speaker 1>on things, So you know, I think that for me, um,

0:26:18.760 --> 0:26:22.560
<v Speaker 1>I just try to remember to only focus on the

0:26:22.600 --> 0:26:26.080
<v Speaker 1>things that I actually have control over because otherwise there's

0:26:26.080 --> 0:26:29.320
<v Speaker 1>somebody out there that's gonna say something about me, and

0:26:29.400 --> 0:26:30.760
<v Speaker 1>it's going to get back to me, and it's probably

0:26:30.800 --> 0:26:33.840
<v Speaker 1>gonna hurt my feelings. But I don't I don't even.

0:26:34.600 --> 0:26:37.200
<v Speaker 1>I think I'm so afraid of like knowing that people

0:26:37.200 --> 0:26:39.119
<v Speaker 1>could be that horrible to me, because I am not

0:26:39.240 --> 0:26:42.959
<v Speaker 1>at the point where I'm getting bombarded with like mean stuff.

0:26:43.000 --> 0:26:46.360
<v Speaker 1>Like everyone's pretty generally nice to me online. But there

0:26:46.359 --> 0:26:49.560
<v Speaker 1>will come a day maybe when you exposure rises. Yeah,

0:26:49.640 --> 0:26:51.640
<v Speaker 1>and then people are like, oh, she's big. She's big

0:26:51.720 --> 0:26:54.080
<v Speaker 1>enough now that I can throw stones and she probably

0:26:54.080 --> 0:26:58.560
<v Speaker 1>won't notice. That's weird to me because I'm just here,

0:26:58.600 --> 0:27:02.359
<v Speaker 1>like writing songs about my life. That feels weird. I

0:27:02.400 --> 0:27:04.960
<v Speaker 1>think that that's also what makes you cut through, Like

0:27:05.200 --> 0:27:08.000
<v Speaker 1>what is your biggest strength turns to be your biggest

0:27:08.000 --> 0:27:11.640
<v Speaker 1>weakness as well. Yeah maybe, And I'm also I've sort

0:27:11.680 --> 0:27:16.879
<v Speaker 1>of like realized that I have to keep holding onto

0:27:16.920 --> 0:27:21.879
<v Speaker 1>this underdog mentality. Whenever you feel like you're getting to

0:27:21.920 --> 0:27:24.400
<v Speaker 1>the next step, I think you have to keep your

0:27:24.440 --> 0:27:27.560
<v Speaker 1>mind one step behind the step you just took, because

0:27:27.560 --> 0:27:29.600
<v Speaker 1>if you actually believe you are where you are, then

0:27:29.640 --> 0:27:33.440
<v Speaker 1>you start to get delusional and I think that I

0:27:33.520 --> 0:27:37.280
<v Speaker 1>always want to keep this underdog mentality of like I

0:27:37.359 --> 0:27:39.440
<v Speaker 1>am the underdog and I can't believe I'm here because

0:27:39.440 --> 0:27:42.320
<v Speaker 1>if I ever get comfortable in any situation I'm in,

0:27:43.280 --> 0:27:45.360
<v Speaker 1>you know, it's probably just gonna, like, first of all,

0:27:45.400 --> 0:27:48.359
<v Speaker 1>fall apart. And I don't want to believe any hype

0:27:48.400 --> 0:27:51.160
<v Speaker 1>that ever happens around me. And that's all with who

0:27:51.200 --> 0:27:57.080
<v Speaker 1>you surround yourself with, because I'm perpetually the underdog. But

0:27:57.280 --> 0:27:59.640
<v Speaker 1>when you start putting people around your people coming, why say, oh,

0:27:59.800 --> 0:28:01.919
<v Speaker 1>you you get a million dollar fine? Next thing? You know?

0:28:02.800 --> 0:28:05.440
<v Speaker 1>That for me was the I was out of control. Yeah,

0:28:05.720 --> 0:28:07.640
<v Speaker 1>and I got a million dollar fine. And now I'm

0:28:07.640 --> 0:28:09.520
<v Speaker 1>not really that out of control anymore. I just kind

0:28:09.520 --> 0:28:13.400
<v Speaker 1>of out of control. But no, I think that it's

0:28:13.440 --> 0:28:15.119
<v Speaker 1>a lot with who you surround yourself with, you know.

0:28:15.240 --> 0:28:17.920
<v Speaker 1>With me, I like all joking aside. I've I've kept

0:28:18.000 --> 0:28:22.400
<v Speaker 1>the same people from when I was doing nothing. I'm

0:28:22.440 --> 0:28:25.159
<v Speaker 1>just grinding it out in one town, an awesome city.

0:28:25.400 --> 0:28:29.240
<v Speaker 1>But we were the underdoggings in one city much less

0:28:29.280 --> 0:28:32.159
<v Speaker 1>we weren't syndicated, we weren't anything. I think that's incredible

0:28:32.240 --> 0:28:34.080
<v Speaker 1>that you have all your friends on this show with you.

0:28:34.240 --> 0:28:38.080
<v Speaker 1>It's the only thing that kept me somewhat normal, has

0:28:38.160 --> 0:28:41.960
<v Speaker 1>made me successful with surrounding myself with that layer of Hey, Bobby,

0:28:42.000 --> 0:28:44.080
<v Speaker 1>you're being a douchebag right now. That's what Amy my

0:28:44.120 --> 0:28:46.000
<v Speaker 1>coast does. Feel like you're out of You're a little

0:28:46.000 --> 0:28:47.120
<v Speaker 1>out of control right now. I kind of be in.

0:28:49.240 --> 0:28:52.920
<v Speaker 1>And they've been with me so long that I go, huh,

0:28:53.480 --> 0:28:56.160
<v Speaker 1>at least I'm going to evaluate this. Yes, I don't

0:28:56.160 --> 0:28:59.200
<v Speaker 1>always agree, but that's been it for me, is keeping

0:28:59.280 --> 0:29:01.680
<v Speaker 1>the people around me. You said something last night because

0:29:01.680 --> 0:29:03.360
<v Speaker 1>we had a show last night where I took my

0:29:03.400 --> 0:29:07.320
<v Speaker 1>class who every year, I picked five artists and I go, hey,

0:29:07.320 --> 0:29:08.560
<v Speaker 1>this is a big year, and you're one of them

0:29:08.560 --> 0:29:12.080
<v Speaker 1>this year. And so you were talking last night and

0:29:12.120 --> 0:29:15.520
<v Speaker 1>you're he's not your fiance. Yeah, I forgot my ring today.

0:29:15.560 --> 0:29:18.320
<v Speaker 1>By the way, I'm not wearing it right now. It's

0:29:18.320 --> 0:29:20.960
<v Speaker 1>at home. He's still not remembering. Yeah, I'm not used to.

0:29:20.960 --> 0:29:23.400
<v Speaker 1>It's been like six days. You made the comment that

0:29:23.440 --> 0:29:25.320
<v Speaker 1>he has to be on stage with you and play

0:29:25.400 --> 0:29:28.520
<v Speaker 1>songs that you wrote about your boyfriend before. Yeah, that's

0:29:28.520 --> 0:29:31.120
<v Speaker 1>pretty funny, it is. I haven't. I didn't think about

0:29:31.160 --> 0:29:34.200
<v Speaker 1>it until we were on radio tour and somebody on

0:29:34.360 --> 0:29:37.120
<v Speaker 1>at the radio station was like, so, wait, you guys

0:29:37.120 --> 0:29:39.720
<v Speaker 1>are dating now? That sucks for him, Like he's just

0:29:39.760 --> 0:29:42.240
<v Speaker 1>singing about your ex. And I was like, Oh, he's fine, whatever,

0:29:42.280 --> 0:29:44.360
<v Speaker 1>He's fine. But then later I was like, wait, that

0:29:44.400 --> 0:29:46.680
<v Speaker 1>actually is kind of shitty for him. I feel bad

0:29:47.200 --> 0:29:49.720
<v Speaker 1>he's and he like you know, takes it like a champs.

0:29:49.800 --> 0:29:53.920
<v Speaker 1>He's not, he's not sensitive about it. But it's I

0:29:53.960 --> 0:29:55.920
<v Speaker 1>think it's weird knowing how long we're gonna have to

0:29:55.920 --> 0:29:58.160
<v Speaker 1>sing these songs about my ex and there's always going

0:29:58.200 --> 0:30:01.880
<v Speaker 1>to be like that's story through my music, Like I'm

0:30:01.880 --> 0:30:05.520
<v Speaker 1>always going to have that person as part of my

0:30:05.680 --> 0:30:09.880
<v Speaker 1>musical history. And he inspired a lot of songs, you know,

0:30:10.200 --> 0:30:13.320
<v Speaker 1>and uh, that's the way it goes. But I was

0:30:13.400 --> 0:30:16.200
<v Speaker 1>talking to Carly Pearce about that because her songs about

0:30:16.600 --> 0:30:21.360
<v Speaker 1>X and it's the same thing. You write songs about

0:30:21.400 --> 0:30:23.600
<v Speaker 1>people and they come in and out of your life

0:30:24.880 --> 0:30:26.520
<v Speaker 1>and then you always have to sing this song. They're

0:30:26.560 --> 0:30:29.440
<v Speaker 1>like immortalized, and the feelings you had then are like

0:30:29.480 --> 0:30:32.040
<v Speaker 1>stuck on me and with hate me especially that song

0:30:32.160 --> 0:30:35.239
<v Speaker 1>still makes me feel like that that was tough. It

0:30:35.400 --> 0:30:37.960
<v Speaker 1>was um and that person is like still someone I

0:30:38.000 --> 0:30:42.080
<v Speaker 1>really care about that. I think why gravitated to it is.

0:30:42.520 --> 0:30:47.800
<v Speaker 1>I mean, all your songs have this authentic texture to them,

0:30:47.840 --> 0:30:50.560
<v Speaker 1>but that song was you don't even think about that

0:30:50.560 --> 0:30:53.680
<v Speaker 1>song unless you're living it. Like you don't even think

0:30:53.680 --> 0:30:58.360
<v Speaker 1>that's a concept unless you're living it, because you don't

0:30:58.360 --> 0:30:59.440
<v Speaker 1>go I could go, hey, I want write a song

0:30:59.440 --> 0:31:02.440
<v Speaker 1>about a any day in Africa. Yeah, and I could

0:31:02.480 --> 0:31:04.640
<v Speaker 1>write that song even I've never been there. Yeah, you

0:31:04.640 --> 0:31:08.080
<v Speaker 1>don't write this song hate me unless you've actually been

0:31:08.080 --> 0:31:11.200
<v Speaker 1>in the place where that's coming out of you. And

0:31:11.280 --> 0:31:14.120
<v Speaker 1>I like wrote that song the day that that whole

0:31:14.280 --> 0:31:18.120
<v Speaker 1>conversation happened and where I felt all of those emotions,

0:31:18.160 --> 0:31:21.280
<v Speaker 1>Like I went straight from our what was our house

0:31:21.400 --> 0:31:24.480
<v Speaker 1>to my writing session and yeah, so you walk in

0:31:24.480 --> 0:31:27.040
<v Speaker 1>the room and you say what to your co writers? Well,

0:31:27.080 --> 0:31:29.320
<v Speaker 1>it was just tofor and I my producer when I

0:31:29.360 --> 0:31:32.200
<v Speaker 1>got there, Hillary Lindsay, was showing up in like forty

0:31:32.280 --> 0:31:34.280
<v Speaker 1>five minutes, and so he and I wanted to have

0:31:34.320 --> 0:31:38.800
<v Speaker 1>something started before she got there. So I explained to

0:31:38.880 --> 0:31:41.320
<v Speaker 1>him the conversation I had just had with my ex

0:31:41.360 --> 0:31:45.080
<v Speaker 1>and I had written down in my phone this would

0:31:45.080 --> 0:31:47.560
<v Speaker 1>be so much easier if you hated me. And so

0:31:47.600 --> 0:31:50.440
<v Speaker 1>I was talking to Tofur about that and how I

0:31:50.480 --> 0:31:54.040
<v Speaker 1>really loved this person and care about this person, and

0:31:54.080 --> 0:31:57.520
<v Speaker 1>it's so much harder to walk away and not want

0:31:57.520 --> 0:31:59.600
<v Speaker 1>to walk right back when you really care about him.

0:31:59.640 --> 0:32:01.000
<v Speaker 1>And I was just like, I wish one of us

0:32:01.080 --> 0:32:03.480
<v Speaker 1>had cheated on each other. I wish we had killed

0:32:03.520 --> 0:32:06.440
<v Speaker 1>someone something that would make it easier to never want

0:32:06.440 --> 0:32:09.240
<v Speaker 1>to see you again because it's not working, we're not happy,

0:32:09.280 --> 0:32:11.640
<v Speaker 1>but we still love each other. It's very felt, very

0:32:11.680 --> 0:32:15.240
<v Speaker 1>complicated at the time, and I was just trying to

0:32:16.440 --> 0:32:19.160
<v Speaker 1>say that in a song, and I really felt that

0:32:19.160 --> 0:32:21.600
<v Speaker 1>that chorus, you know, just kind of fell out as

0:32:21.640 --> 0:32:24.640
<v Speaker 1>a conversation, and I think I pretty much said like

0:32:24.720 --> 0:32:27.120
<v Speaker 1>the first four lines to toe for like, you know,

0:32:27.240 --> 0:32:29.120
<v Speaker 1>come on and hate me, tell me you regret you

0:32:29.160 --> 0:32:31.320
<v Speaker 1>ever met me, you know, make sure that it hurts

0:32:31.400 --> 0:32:33.440
<v Speaker 1>right as I'm leaving. I mean, I just felt that,

0:32:33.680 --> 0:32:35.800
<v Speaker 1>like I feel that I don't have a good history

0:32:35.840 --> 0:32:38.800
<v Speaker 1>of relationships. No one's ever cheated. Why are you laughing?

0:32:39.440 --> 0:32:43.040
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. No. I was just like I've heard

0:32:43.080 --> 0:32:46.200
<v Speaker 1>some things. No, I've heard you talk about it. Yeah

0:32:46.240 --> 0:32:49.640
<v Speaker 1>because anything, Yeah, because anything I mean I say everything.

0:32:49.880 --> 0:32:51.840
<v Speaker 1>I feel like I said everything, but no one's ever cheated.

0:32:52.800 --> 0:32:56.400
<v Speaker 1>It's always been really awesome, but it's been my fault

0:32:56.800 --> 0:32:58.320
<v Speaker 1>and I might just like, Man, it would just be

0:32:58.360 --> 0:33:00.320
<v Speaker 1>so much easier if you were just discussed it with

0:33:00.360 --> 0:33:02.960
<v Speaker 1>me and wanted to just read me from you because

0:33:03.000 --> 0:33:06.480
<v Speaker 1>they're so awesome. Yeah, I don't have a bad ex girlfriend.

0:33:06.800 --> 0:33:09.920
<v Speaker 1>I've been. I've been the problem every time, and it

0:33:09.920 --> 0:33:12.080
<v Speaker 1>would just maybe that's why that song hits me so hard,

0:33:13.080 --> 0:33:15.120
<v Speaker 1>where it would just I just relate to it. Where

0:33:15.640 --> 0:33:17.960
<v Speaker 1>do you want to get married? Yeah? I think you

0:33:17.960 --> 0:33:20.280
<v Speaker 1>want to have kids? Yeah, I think so. I'm definitely

0:33:20.280 --> 0:33:22.200
<v Speaker 1>not against it. I'm not someone who goes no. But

0:33:22.280 --> 0:33:26.360
<v Speaker 1>again I don't. I haven't been right there where I'm going.

0:33:27.040 --> 0:33:28.400
<v Speaker 1>I want to do that, and I'm not going to

0:33:28.480 --> 0:33:31.320
<v Speaker 1>do it for the sake of doing it. So but

0:33:31.880 --> 0:33:35.120
<v Speaker 1>because I don't, I think I do, if that's fair

0:33:35.200 --> 0:33:37.640
<v Speaker 1>to say, because I am not like Nope, I don't.

0:33:37.800 --> 0:33:40.800
<v Speaker 1>That means I think I do for the right. Yeah,

0:33:41.680 --> 0:33:44.240
<v Speaker 1>if you're even open to the possibility, that's why I

0:33:44.240 --> 0:33:47.680
<v Speaker 1>think I am. Yeah, they definitely am. Yeah. Okay, another

0:33:47.680 --> 0:33:49.400
<v Speaker 1>commercial right in the middle of the in the middle

0:33:49.400 --> 0:33:51.800
<v Speaker 1>of the okay, let me do this commercial. The I

0:33:51.960 --> 0:33:54.120
<v Speaker 1>R S at least their annual Dirty dozen lists of

0:33:54.240 --> 0:33:57.239
<v Speaker 1>tax scams and phone scams, and the most common one

0:33:57.280 --> 0:33:59.560
<v Speaker 1>is when callers pose as an I R S representative

0:33:59.560 --> 0:34:02.040
<v Speaker 1>and they say tell me this information and then you

0:34:02.080 --> 0:34:05.160
<v Speaker 1>go okay, cool, here it is the next thing you know, boom,

0:34:05.280 --> 0:34:08.560
<v Speaker 1>they have your numbers and identification and they're still in

0:34:08.600 --> 0:34:11.760
<v Speaker 1>stuff your bank accounts. Well. So many threats in today's

0:34:11.760 --> 0:34:15.000
<v Speaker 1>connected world, and it takes just one week link for

0:34:15.040 --> 0:34:17.840
<v Speaker 1>criminals to get in. Good thing. New life Flock identity

0:34:17.880 --> 0:34:20.799
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0:34:20.800 --> 0:34:23.360
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0:34:23.360 --> 0:34:25.040
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0:34:25.200 --> 0:34:27.680
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0:34:27.719 --> 0:34:30.320
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0:34:30.360 --> 0:34:33.680
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0:34:37.120 --> 0:34:39.719
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0:34:42.800 --> 0:34:45.520
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0:34:45.560 --> 0:34:48.000
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0:34:48.000 --> 0:34:50.400
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0:34:50.800 --> 0:34:54.320
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0:34:54.360 --> 0:34:57.200
<v Speaker 1>for an extra ten percent off. Okay, so how about

0:34:58.080 --> 0:35:04.120
<v Speaker 1>God bless this mess? As the kids say? This is

0:35:04.120 --> 0:35:08.719
<v Speaker 1>the bomb? Kids say that? Does it scare you? Ever?

0:35:08.840 --> 0:35:11.000
<v Speaker 1>As you're getting older, when you realize that, like kids

0:35:11.040 --> 0:35:12.839
<v Speaker 1>in high school are saying things that you don't even

0:35:12.920 --> 0:35:16.359
<v Speaker 1>know they're saying, Well, I feel nervous about it. If

0:35:16.400 --> 0:35:19.920
<v Speaker 1>I was still doing any sort of pop, yeah, I

0:35:19.960 --> 0:35:21.960
<v Speaker 1>would have to worry about that. But I feel like

0:35:22.000 --> 0:35:26.360
<v Speaker 1>my audience is between the ages of twenty six and

0:35:26.880 --> 0:35:31.319
<v Speaker 1>forty nine anyway, and they're not that quite either. So

0:35:31.360 --> 0:35:33.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm just talking to my Now. If I had a

0:35:33.200 --> 0:35:35.839
<v Speaker 1>bunch of fifteen year olds listening, I'd probably talking about

0:35:35.840 --> 0:35:37.759
<v Speaker 1>how lit it was all the time. But I'm not,

0:35:37.880 --> 0:35:42.560
<v Speaker 1>so I don't. I've never used that word except for making.

0:35:43.000 --> 0:35:45.680
<v Speaker 1>Have you guys used to stand the word stand? Well,

0:35:45.680 --> 0:35:47.719
<v Speaker 1>I understand the concept of the eminem song. How do

0:35:47.760 --> 0:35:49.879
<v Speaker 1>you how do you use that in a sentence? Well?

0:35:50.120 --> 0:35:52.480
<v Speaker 1>So if okay, So I'm talking to my friend Charleman

0:35:52.560 --> 0:35:55.080
<v Speaker 1>earlier today, and he's a radio host in New York,

0:35:55.280 --> 0:35:57.960
<v Speaker 1>and I'd be like, I wouldn't say this in normal life,

0:35:58.000 --> 0:36:00.120
<v Speaker 1>but if I were to use stands, I say, hey,

0:36:00.120 --> 0:36:02.480
<v Speaker 1>I saw someone that was posted on YouTube and they

0:36:02.480 --> 0:36:05.479
<v Speaker 1>were standing you like crazy, like hardcore messaging, huge fan,

0:36:06.120 --> 0:36:10.040
<v Speaker 1>like relentless, like obsess. Yeah, because Stand was an Eminem

0:36:10.080 --> 0:36:11.880
<v Speaker 1>song from back in the day, your biggest fan, this

0:36:12.000 --> 0:36:15.239
<v Speaker 1>is stand. Oh, that's where it came from. I would assume, right, yeah, Oh,

0:36:15.360 --> 0:36:18.600
<v Speaker 1>I thought it was like stalker fans stand. That's what

0:36:18.680 --> 0:36:24.319
<v Speaker 1>I thought. That's okay, just assumed it was imminent. Did

0:36:24.400 --> 0:36:29.759
<v Speaker 1>I make that up? It's from Eminem? Right, yeah, oh

0:36:29.800 --> 0:36:31.360
<v Speaker 1>that makes sense. I wrote you this song, you know,

0:36:31.600 --> 0:36:33.799
<v Speaker 1>the biggest fan, this is Stand. And at the end

0:36:33.840 --> 0:36:35.919
<v Speaker 1>of this you ever heard the Eminem song Stand? Yeah? Okay,

0:36:35.920 --> 0:36:37.239
<v Speaker 1>at the end? What happens at the end of the song?

0:36:37.320 --> 0:36:42.640
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, like drives cliff right dies, yeah, d

0:36:43.440 --> 0:36:48.799
<v Speaker 1>I have a very limited repertoire of popular songs like

0:36:48.840 --> 0:36:51.280
<v Speaker 1>anything that happened in the nineties. I was only listening

0:36:51.320 --> 0:36:55.440
<v Speaker 1>to like country or oldies, so I don't know many

0:36:55.480 --> 0:36:57.359
<v Speaker 1>of the popular songs that other people know. That's why

0:36:57.360 --> 0:36:59.799
<v Speaker 1>when that happened at your show, I freaked out. Yeah, said, hey,

0:36:59.840 --> 0:37:01.520
<v Speaker 1>that's play cover. She came out because we know every

0:37:01.520 --> 0:37:04.080
<v Speaker 1>cover and I don't know anything. She didn't know any songs.

0:37:04.160 --> 0:37:07.000
<v Speaker 1>And then finally we settled on crazy that's fine, and

0:37:07.040 --> 0:37:08.960
<v Speaker 1>then it was really good and we did it the

0:37:08.960 --> 0:37:11.279
<v Speaker 1>whole time. It's like, let's stop searching and you come

0:37:11.280 --> 0:37:13.239
<v Speaker 1>out and crush it. And I said, Jillian, here's why

0:37:13.239 --> 0:37:14.680
<v Speaker 1>you come out and do the cover, because you sell

0:37:14.680 --> 0:37:16.960
<v Speaker 1>more merch. You come out during our show. I loved it.

0:37:17.000 --> 0:37:19.200
<v Speaker 1>You said that to me. You're like, just sell your merch,

0:37:19.360 --> 0:37:20.920
<v Speaker 1>you know. And I'm like, what do you mean. You're like,

0:37:20.960 --> 0:37:23.160
<v Speaker 1>tell everybody you're selling. I'm like, I feel weird about that.

0:37:23.200 --> 0:37:25.640
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to talk about He's like, just tell

0:37:25.680 --> 0:37:27.719
<v Speaker 1>them people want to buy it. I learned that though

0:37:27.760 --> 0:37:29.960
<v Speaker 1>that You're right. It's I need to stop being so

0:37:30.040 --> 0:37:33.000
<v Speaker 1>bashful about like I have stuff to sell. I I

0:37:33.040 --> 0:37:35.680
<v Speaker 1>don't know why I felt weird about it and that

0:37:35.800 --> 0:37:39.000
<v Speaker 1>people want to buy it. Yeah, I understand that now. Yeah,

0:37:39.120 --> 0:37:40.880
<v Speaker 1>And I was people enjoy you. They want to know

0:37:40.960 --> 0:37:42.200
<v Speaker 1>that you have stuff. They want to know that you're

0:37:42.200 --> 0:37:45.120
<v Speaker 1>gonna be signing. Tell them yeah, and if they don't,

0:37:45.320 --> 0:37:46.960
<v Speaker 1>they'll walk by. They don't have to buy it, but

0:37:47.160 --> 0:37:50.520
<v Speaker 1>let them at least know. I think I can be

0:37:52.200 --> 0:37:57.520
<v Speaker 1>uh super like critical of other people um trying to

0:37:57.560 --> 0:38:01.160
<v Speaker 1>sell themselves, So I always am very aware and not

0:38:01.200 --> 0:38:03.200
<v Speaker 1>wanting to come off that way. I want people to

0:38:03.280 --> 0:38:07.880
<v Speaker 1>like just listen to the music. But yeah, yeah, interesting,

0:38:07.920 --> 0:38:11.120
<v Speaker 1>who do I oversell myself? No, I'm not judging you.

0:38:11.640 --> 0:38:13.959
<v Speaker 1>I think more so like artists like and I'm like, well,

0:38:14.640 --> 0:38:16.399
<v Speaker 1>you know, I want you to talk about your music.

0:38:16.440 --> 0:38:18.000
<v Speaker 1>I don't want you to talk about your merch. But

0:38:18.080 --> 0:38:20.360
<v Speaker 1>I'm kind of getting around that because I'm realizing that

0:38:20.440 --> 0:38:22.320
<v Speaker 1>there's a lot of things in life I've been precious

0:38:22.360 --> 0:38:24.399
<v Speaker 1>about that I don't need to be anymore. My point

0:38:24.400 --> 0:38:26.399
<v Speaker 1>with the merch too, was one people want to buy

0:38:26.400 --> 0:38:28.520
<v Speaker 1>it if they enjoy you, that that's a moment for them.

0:38:28.600 --> 0:38:31.160
<v Speaker 1>Because I go to shows. I have a John Mayer

0:38:31.280 --> 0:38:33.759
<v Speaker 1>sweatshirt of more at one time, but I freaking got

0:38:33.800 --> 0:38:36.200
<v Speaker 1>that from his show and I'm a big fan and

0:38:36.200 --> 0:38:38.040
<v Speaker 1>I love it. I just love it in my closet.

0:38:38.120 --> 0:38:40.640
<v Speaker 1>Reminds me of when I went to Minneapolis and watched

0:38:40.680 --> 0:38:44.080
<v Speaker 1>him doing it his show. And also what people may

0:38:44.120 --> 0:38:48.040
<v Speaker 1>not know is that you artists, that's part of how

0:38:48.080 --> 0:38:51.520
<v Speaker 1>you eat. Yeah, I mean it's how you play the bills,

0:38:51.520 --> 0:38:53.759
<v Speaker 1>that's how you eat. Because again I just said earlier,

0:38:53.800 --> 0:38:55.560
<v Speaker 1>I paid you a thousand bucks a show, but let's

0:38:55.560 --> 0:38:57.160
<v Speaker 1>say it's two thousand dollars for the weekend. You have

0:38:57.200 --> 0:39:00.759
<v Speaker 1>to travel. You're buying flights at three. See, this is

0:39:00.800 --> 0:39:03.840
<v Speaker 1>the stuff that I start to glassy. I got my

0:39:03.840 --> 0:39:07.560
<v Speaker 1>eyes for your guitar player. You gotta pay for hotel room.

0:39:07.600 --> 0:39:09.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm just trying to come out in the black, no,

0:39:09.640 --> 0:39:14.080
<v Speaker 1>you know. For I am like, I am very romantic

0:39:14.120 --> 0:39:16.200
<v Speaker 1>about my career a lot of the times, and I'm

0:39:16.200 --> 0:39:18.640
<v Speaker 1>thankful that I have people around me that do the

0:39:18.680 --> 0:39:23.080
<v Speaker 1>other stuff, because I love the mystical, magical world of

0:39:23.120 --> 0:39:26.440
<v Speaker 1>making music and I don't want to be totally desensitized

0:39:26.480 --> 0:39:28.879
<v Speaker 1>by all the other stuff. On the on the other hand,

0:39:28.960 --> 0:39:32.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm the most o c D type, a organized artist,

0:39:33.239 --> 0:39:35.239
<v Speaker 1>so I also get people telling me I need to

0:39:35.239 --> 0:39:37.600
<v Speaker 1>calm down and stop worrying about the little details. But

0:39:38.000 --> 0:39:39.640
<v Speaker 1>there's a part of me that doesn't want to know

0:39:39.680 --> 0:39:42.560
<v Speaker 1>about like how the prices breakdown we rent the tour bus,

0:39:42.560 --> 0:39:45.560
<v Speaker 1>and how much more we sold and what the tickets are.

0:39:45.600 --> 0:39:48.440
<v Speaker 1>You know, that stuff starts to make me feel anxious,

0:39:48.920 --> 0:39:51.360
<v Speaker 1>so because then I just want to think about playing

0:39:51.400 --> 0:39:53.560
<v Speaker 1>the show. Well, it's also your job to hire good

0:39:53.600 --> 0:39:56.440
<v Speaker 1>people who make which yeah, yeah, totally, which is what

0:39:56.600 --> 0:40:00.160
<v Speaker 1>I've been able to do. But I'm a schemer. I'm

0:40:00.160 --> 0:40:02.680
<v Speaker 1>not trying to scheme anybody out of things. But if

0:40:02.760 --> 0:40:05.080
<v Speaker 1>there's a way to manipulate media, I will do it.

0:40:05.560 --> 0:40:08.160
<v Speaker 1>I think that's smart. I wish I had that if

0:40:08.280 --> 0:40:10.400
<v Speaker 1>I don't think here's the difference to me in you

0:40:10.400 --> 0:40:16.000
<v Speaker 1>you have a genuine talent. I scheme to find ways

0:40:16.640 --> 0:40:20.080
<v Speaker 1>to make people feel like I'm talented, right, I really

0:40:20.120 --> 0:40:23.759
<v Speaker 1>don't have. I don't really have anything about me that's

0:40:23.800 --> 0:40:27.880
<v Speaker 1>like wow, Like I don't. I think you're an incredibly

0:40:27.960 --> 0:40:31.440
<v Speaker 1>engaging personality, but that's just me. Like, I think you're

0:40:31.480 --> 0:40:34.480
<v Speaker 1>interesting and your story is interesting. That's why you wrote

0:40:34.520 --> 0:40:36.840
<v Speaker 1>a book about it. Yeah, but again, you have to

0:40:36.880 --> 0:40:41.680
<v Speaker 1>get really invested to get there. Okay. Yeah, my talent

0:40:41.960 --> 0:40:44.160
<v Speaker 1>is that I can make people feel like I mean,

0:40:44.200 --> 0:40:46.279
<v Speaker 1>you could be like Ellen, Like I could see you

0:40:46.320 --> 0:40:49.719
<v Speaker 1>with your own like actual TV talk show. Well enough

0:40:49.760 --> 0:40:58.080
<v Speaker 1>about me, God, bless this mess. Enough? Oh I cannot.

0:40:58.800 --> 0:41:01.480
<v Speaker 1>I don't want anyone pliment me or insulting me. Actually

0:41:01.520 --> 0:41:04.960
<v Speaker 1>we talked about this once. I hated to skin crawl. Don't. Well,

0:41:05.000 --> 0:41:06.880
<v Speaker 1>that's not true. I don't like it in the moment.

0:41:06.920 --> 0:41:08.839
<v Speaker 1>I don't like receiving it. And then later I'm like, oh,

0:41:08.840 --> 0:41:10.680
<v Speaker 1>they said that about me. That was cool, Like you know,

0:41:10.719 --> 0:41:13.640
<v Speaker 1>I kind of tuck it away to think about it later.

0:41:14.000 --> 0:41:16.520
<v Speaker 1>That's cool. I should do that. You don't do that. No,

0:41:16.600 --> 0:41:18.960
<v Speaker 1>I'll tell you what I do is I have pictures,

0:41:18.960 --> 0:41:22.279
<v Speaker 1>like in my room. I have the first time that

0:41:22.280 --> 0:41:24.080
<v Speaker 1>I sold out the Rheman, I keep that picture. I

0:41:24.080 --> 0:41:25.880
<v Speaker 1>didn't enjoy it that not at all. It was miserable

0:41:25.880 --> 0:41:29.360
<v Speaker 1>to man, because I kept thinking, how's this going to

0:41:29.560 --> 0:41:33.120
<v Speaker 1>fall apart the whole time. Yeah, I've done that over

0:41:33.400 --> 0:41:34.880
<v Speaker 1>and you didn't enjoy it. But I have a picture

0:41:34.880 --> 0:41:37.840
<v Speaker 1>of me sitting on the stage looking at the before

0:41:37.840 --> 0:41:39.960
<v Speaker 1>I came in. Yeah, I enjoyed that picture so much.

0:41:40.640 --> 0:41:42.520
<v Speaker 1>I love that picture. I don't know what that sounds

0:41:42.560 --> 0:41:48.200
<v Speaker 1>so sad. It's like the moment was miserable completely. My

0:41:48.280 --> 0:41:52.000
<v Speaker 1>favorite theater is in Austin, Texas. The Paramount Theater went

0:41:52.040 --> 0:41:54.640
<v Speaker 1>to so many shows and I have a picture of

0:41:54.680 --> 0:41:57.800
<v Speaker 1>me the first stand up show I did at the Paramount.

0:41:57.840 --> 0:41:59.560
<v Speaker 1>It's sold out, and after the show was over, there's

0:41:59.560 --> 0:42:01.759
<v Speaker 1>a stage and that's it, and someone got a picture

0:42:01.760 --> 0:42:03.960
<v Speaker 1>of me sitting on the stage just looking at it,

0:42:04.000 --> 0:42:06.160
<v Speaker 1>and I really it was just like, man, I wonder,

0:42:06.320 --> 0:42:09.440
<v Speaker 1>you know what they're reviewing me? Terrible, I'm sure, but

0:42:09.680 --> 0:42:11.720
<v Speaker 1>it's okay. I was thinking that at the time, being miserable.

0:42:11.760 --> 0:42:13.400
<v Speaker 1>But they got a picture of me, and I enjoyed

0:42:13.440 --> 0:42:15.960
<v Speaker 1>that picture so much. Like I just try and have

0:42:16.000 --> 0:42:19.120
<v Speaker 1>good pictures that I can appreciate later. I know, I'm

0:42:19.160 --> 0:42:21.520
<v Speaker 1>looking for new therapists by the way too. It's a

0:42:21.560 --> 0:42:27.239
<v Speaker 1>whole thing, but that's but I enjoy those pictures. I yeah, No,

0:42:27.560 --> 0:42:29.799
<v Speaker 1>I have done that quite a few times where I

0:42:29.880 --> 0:42:33.799
<v Speaker 1>have completely lived through a moment or you know, a

0:42:33.840 --> 0:42:36.480
<v Speaker 1>situation in my life and just been so written with

0:42:36.560 --> 0:42:40.439
<v Speaker 1>anxiety and like depression to the whole thing. And then later,

0:42:41.320 --> 0:42:43.160
<v Speaker 1>you know, someone will like bring it up to me

0:42:43.200 --> 0:42:46.160
<v Speaker 1>and and I'll somehow find like a sliver of goodness

0:42:46.239 --> 0:42:48.480
<v Speaker 1>in it. But it was torture, like the whole thing

0:42:48.520 --> 0:42:51.560
<v Speaker 1>going through it was just awful. But you know, as

0:42:51.560 --> 0:42:54.319
<v Speaker 1>I've gotten older, I've done that so many times that

0:42:54.400 --> 0:42:56.440
<v Speaker 1>now that I've gotten older. I'm like, stop doing that.

0:42:56.600 --> 0:42:59.759
<v Speaker 1>Don't don't waste your life being miserable. Like through the

0:43:00.000 --> 0:43:03.040
<v Speaker 1>port and stuff. There was huge shows, like really exciting

0:43:03.080 --> 0:43:06.000
<v Speaker 1>shows that I remember. I was just the whole show

0:43:06.080 --> 0:43:08.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm playing and I'm thinking, these people hit me, nobody

0:43:08.760 --> 0:43:09.840
<v Speaker 1>likes it. Oh my god, why am I here? I

0:43:09.880 --> 0:43:11.839
<v Speaker 1>want to leave? And we just play like a whole

0:43:11.880 --> 0:43:13.879
<v Speaker 1>set and then get off stage and everyone's like, great job,

0:43:13.880 --> 0:43:15.759
<v Speaker 1>and I'm like, no, it's warble. They're lying, They're lying.

0:43:16.200 --> 0:43:18.359
<v Speaker 1>I was convinced that it was the worst, and then

0:43:18.400 --> 0:43:20.280
<v Speaker 1>I'll see like a video back and be like, oh,

0:43:20.320 --> 0:43:25.400
<v Speaker 1>it wasn't that bad. Okay, everything's then you're doing the

0:43:25.440 --> 0:43:32.439
<v Speaker 1>same thing. Yeah, I came back to this song. Also,

0:43:32.480 --> 0:43:34.600
<v Speaker 1>I'd like to say this too. I think that when

0:43:34.600 --> 0:43:36.640
<v Speaker 1>we start talking, we always get off onto something and

0:43:36.680 --> 0:43:39.480
<v Speaker 1>we actually have a pret backup with always. But because

0:43:39.520 --> 0:43:41.400
<v Speaker 1>of that, I really don't know much about you personally

0:43:41.480 --> 0:43:44.520
<v Speaker 1>because we always start talking about nothing, and then minutes

0:43:44.560 --> 0:43:48.239
<v Speaker 1>later Jillian got to go on stage. So let's just

0:43:48.239 --> 0:43:51.800
<v Speaker 1>sit down and talking about the music for a second. Jillian, Jacqueline,

0:43:52.160 --> 0:43:55.440
<v Speaker 1>tell me about this God left it this mess song. Okay,

0:43:55.640 --> 0:43:58.440
<v Speaker 1>I like it a lot. Thank you. I like this

0:43:58.480 --> 0:44:03.160
<v Speaker 1>song too, this song is It was a surprise to

0:44:03.280 --> 0:44:06.879
<v Speaker 1>me this song. I was sort of turned off by

0:44:07.120 --> 0:44:10.239
<v Speaker 1>the initial idea of the title. I thought it was

0:44:10.320 --> 0:44:12.359
<v Speaker 1>something that I would never be able to sell as

0:44:12.360 --> 0:44:15.160
<v Speaker 1>an artist because I don't go to church and I

0:44:15.200 --> 0:44:18.040
<v Speaker 1>don't really pray that often, and I just didn't grow

0:44:18.120 --> 0:44:21.200
<v Speaker 1>up super religious, and so I just felt kind of

0:44:21.239 --> 0:44:23.919
<v Speaker 1>like it felt weird for me to sing a song

0:44:23.960 --> 0:44:27.280
<v Speaker 1>called God Bless this Mess. But Tofur had the title

0:44:27.640 --> 0:44:30.200
<v Speaker 1>and he was like, we have to write this. This

0:44:30.280 --> 0:44:31.840
<v Speaker 1>is gonna be great. And he knows that I'm a

0:44:31.840 --> 0:44:35.000
<v Speaker 1>basket case. He's my best friend and my producer. He

0:44:35.040 --> 0:44:38.000
<v Speaker 1>knows everything about me. I'm now marrying his brother. I mean,

0:44:38.040 --> 0:44:40.759
<v Speaker 1>we have a very long history. So he and I

0:44:40.880 --> 0:44:45.280
<v Speaker 1>were just talking about how I have gone through many

0:44:45.360 --> 0:44:50.000
<v Speaker 1>stages of my life in my career feeling very anxious

0:44:50.000 --> 0:44:52.680
<v Speaker 1>about what's happening next and forgetting to be where I

0:44:52.719 --> 0:44:56.200
<v Speaker 1>am and kind of punishing myself for that and just

0:44:56.440 --> 0:44:59.799
<v Speaker 1>basically being like a downer when I didn't need to be.

0:45:00.280 --> 0:45:02.680
<v Speaker 1>That's kind of been my my m O for for

0:45:02.760 --> 0:45:05.920
<v Speaker 1>quite a while. And so we were talking about just

0:45:06.120 --> 0:45:08.359
<v Speaker 1>how to embrace that and not judge yourself for it

0:45:08.600 --> 0:45:10.319
<v Speaker 1>and be like, yeah, I am kind of a mess

0:45:10.360 --> 0:45:12.960
<v Speaker 1>and I make mistakes and I waste a lot of

0:45:13.000 --> 0:45:15.440
<v Speaker 1>time worrying about stuff and blah blah blah. So we

0:45:15.520 --> 0:45:18.839
<v Speaker 1>wrote the chorus at my dad's house, uh like right

0:45:18.880 --> 0:45:20.640
<v Speaker 1>before we're about to eat dinner. I was up there

0:45:20.680 --> 0:45:22.880
<v Speaker 1>in New York for a fundraiser, and so tofor was

0:45:22.960 --> 0:45:25.480
<v Speaker 1>with me to play the show with me, and so

0:45:25.520 --> 0:45:27.560
<v Speaker 1>he wrote the chorus and we really liked it, and

0:45:27.560 --> 0:45:29.839
<v Speaker 1>the melody was like done, we had it all figured out,

0:45:30.360 --> 0:45:32.160
<v Speaker 1>and then we wrote these verses that were sort of

0:45:32.160 --> 0:45:35.680
<v Speaker 1>like I I I like I do this and my

0:45:35.800 --> 0:45:38.280
<v Speaker 1>car just broke down and dine like real life stuff,

0:45:38.280 --> 0:45:41.120
<v Speaker 1>and it just got really heavy and really moby and

0:45:41.160 --> 0:45:42.839
<v Speaker 1>I was like, nobody wants to hear this. It's too

0:45:42.840 --> 0:45:46.319
<v Speaker 1>self indulgent. It's not working. And we were going up

0:45:46.360 --> 0:45:49.560
<v Speaker 1>to write with Laurie McKenna and Boston, like a couple

0:45:49.600 --> 0:45:52.520
<v Speaker 1>of months from then. So we decided to bring her

0:45:52.560 --> 0:45:54.520
<v Speaker 1>the chorus and scrap the verses we had, and we

0:45:54.560 --> 0:45:56.560
<v Speaker 1>brought it up there and played her the chorus, and

0:45:57.360 --> 0:46:02.360
<v Speaker 1>Laurie immediately said something. She said, here's to the Brokens,

0:46:02.360 --> 0:46:05.319
<v Speaker 1>the Misfits and wannabes, and I was like, what did

0:46:05.320 --> 0:46:06.800
<v Speaker 1>you just say? And she's like, well, what if we

0:46:06.920 --> 0:46:10.080
<v Speaker 1>just like make it sort of all inclusive, like all

0:46:10.120 --> 0:46:12.279
<v Speaker 1>of us that make our mistakes and that don't know

0:46:12.320 --> 0:46:14.760
<v Speaker 1>what we're doing. And I was like, that's really brilliant, okay,

0:46:15.080 --> 0:46:18.360
<v Speaker 1>And then the rest just fell out and there's you know,

0:46:18.440 --> 0:46:21.319
<v Speaker 1>there's tinges of truth in there, Like in the second verse,

0:46:21.360 --> 0:46:24.440
<v Speaker 1>it's like, you know, here's to the view from the

0:46:24.440 --> 0:46:26.759
<v Speaker 1>tile of the bathroom floor. And for me, that was

0:46:26.840 --> 0:46:31.480
<v Speaker 1>a a very poignant lyric because I, um always sit

0:46:31.560 --> 0:46:33.680
<v Speaker 1>on the floor when I'm like going through like horrible

0:46:33.719 --> 0:46:35.080
<v Speaker 1>life moments. I don't know why. I just sit on

0:46:35.120 --> 0:46:38.000
<v Speaker 1>the floor when I'm crying, And and there have been

0:46:38.040 --> 0:46:40.160
<v Speaker 1>you know, there's like quarter life crisiss I would call

0:46:40.200 --> 0:46:41.759
<v Speaker 1>them where I would be on the bathroom floor and

0:46:41.800 --> 0:46:44.040
<v Speaker 1>just like what am I going to do next? Um?

0:46:44.080 --> 0:46:46.640
<v Speaker 1>And that resonated with me a lot with my music career,

0:46:46.719 --> 0:46:48.920
<v Speaker 1>just a lot of moments where things didn't go the

0:46:48.960 --> 0:46:53.120
<v Speaker 1>way I thought they might. And so that song became

0:46:54.360 --> 0:46:59.120
<v Speaker 1>sort of this like almost embarrassingly truthful UM story for me.

0:46:59.239 --> 0:47:02.239
<v Speaker 1>You know, the core it's just kind of felt like, oh, man, like,

0:47:02.640 --> 0:47:05.040
<v Speaker 1>am I gonna admit that this is like about me?

0:47:05.640 --> 0:47:07.799
<v Speaker 1>And uh, I didn't really want to. So we pitched it.

0:47:07.840 --> 0:47:11.440
<v Speaker 1>We pitched it for other artists, and my publishing company

0:47:11.480 --> 0:47:13.759
<v Speaker 1>got it to Tim mcgrowan Faith Hill and they had

0:47:13.800 --> 0:47:15.680
<v Speaker 1>it on hold for a year. So the whole time

0:47:15.680 --> 0:47:17.200
<v Speaker 1>are you thinking they were going to cut it? Oh? Yeah,

0:47:17.239 --> 0:47:18.640
<v Speaker 1>for the whole year, I was like, Yeah, they're gonna

0:47:18.640 --> 0:47:22.520
<v Speaker 1>cut it and they'll be great. And I think, I

0:47:22.560 --> 0:47:23.880
<v Speaker 1>don't know if this is true, but I heard that

0:47:23.960 --> 0:47:25.920
<v Speaker 1>Cam had even heard it and she really liked it,

0:47:26.000 --> 0:47:28.560
<v Speaker 1>so I was like, great, someone else will do it justice.

0:47:28.640 --> 0:47:30.919
<v Speaker 1>And then they didn't cut it, and or they cut

0:47:30.960 --> 0:47:32.480
<v Speaker 1>it but didn't put it on the record, I don't know.

0:47:33.280 --> 0:47:37.200
<v Speaker 1>And then I was in the studio and I was

0:47:37.280 --> 0:47:39.959
<v Speaker 1>making my my record right after I signed my record deal,

0:47:40.320 --> 0:47:43.520
<v Speaker 1>and my label just kept bringing that song up and

0:47:43.520 --> 0:47:45.360
<v Speaker 1>they're like, what about God bless this mess? You know,

0:47:45.400 --> 0:47:49.799
<v Speaker 1>it's this huge anthemic ballad, and I was fighting it

0:47:49.960 --> 0:47:52.960
<v Speaker 1>because I just I don't know something about it felt

0:47:53.160 --> 0:47:56.200
<v Speaker 1>like I didn't want to be preachy. And then we

0:47:56.360 --> 0:47:59.640
<v Speaker 1>ended up playing the song for the band The musicians

0:47:59.640 --> 0:48:02.440
<v Speaker 1>who we had these incredible musicians, Tony Lucido and Derek

0:48:02.480 --> 0:48:06.120
<v Speaker 1>Wells and Fred altering him. And so we played them

0:48:06.320 --> 0:48:08.799
<v Speaker 1>the verse and the chorus of the song, and they

0:48:08.880 --> 0:48:11.520
<v Speaker 1>stopped us halfway through the first chorus and they were like, yeah,

0:48:11.520 --> 0:48:13.719
<v Speaker 1>we were gonna we gotta cut this song. They just

0:48:13.800 --> 0:48:16.400
<v Speaker 1>loved it, and so we cut it and we tracked

0:48:16.440 --> 0:48:18.960
<v Speaker 1>the vocal that day. And and then as I was

0:48:18.960 --> 0:48:21.120
<v Speaker 1>listening to it back in the studio, I was hit

0:48:21.200 --> 0:48:25.400
<v Speaker 1>by this thought. I've been very careful and very like

0:48:25.480 --> 0:48:28.120
<v Speaker 1>strategic for most of my career, and I've thought that

0:48:28.160 --> 0:48:31.640
<v Speaker 1>I've always been in control and always been making these

0:48:31.680 --> 0:48:34.280
<v Speaker 1>moves to try to get to the next step. And

0:48:34.280 --> 0:48:36.319
<v Speaker 1>and that song was playing in the studio and I

0:48:36.320 --> 0:48:39.160
<v Speaker 1>was listening to it back, and I was like feeling

0:48:39.280 --> 0:48:44.600
<v Speaker 1>so overwhelmed and sort of um like I would I

0:48:44.600 --> 0:48:46.840
<v Speaker 1>had been put in my place by that song, and

0:48:46.880 --> 0:48:50.839
<v Speaker 1>I realized my album I wasn't going to dictate what

0:48:50.880 --> 0:48:53.760
<v Speaker 1>my album was that song and the songs that actually

0:48:53.760 --> 0:48:56.719
<v Speaker 1>told the truth, we're going to create who I am

0:48:56.800 --> 0:48:58.839
<v Speaker 1>as an artist. I think sometimes we get this idea

0:48:58.880 --> 0:49:00.520
<v Speaker 1>in our heads of oh, I'm this ind of artists

0:49:00.520 --> 0:49:03.520
<v Speaker 1>and I sound like this, and then you have just

0:49:03.600 --> 0:49:06.719
<v Speaker 1>songs that come along and you're like, oh okay, like

0:49:06.880 --> 0:49:10.800
<v Speaker 1>it redefines it for you, and you you realize that, um,

0:49:10.840 --> 0:49:13.040
<v Speaker 1>you know, you can't really force something. You just have

0:49:13.080 --> 0:49:14.680
<v Speaker 1>to let it be what it is. And that song

0:49:14.800 --> 0:49:17.439
<v Speaker 1>was just sort of a bigger lesson for me, um

0:49:17.440 --> 0:49:24.640
<v Speaker 1>in just kind of being myself. I guess dissertation. Right,

0:49:24.640 --> 0:49:33.640
<v Speaker 1>there's good music school. Okay, I have a lot more

0:49:33.640 --> 0:49:36.279
<v Speaker 1>to talk about. I know we're before how long we

0:49:36.280 --> 0:49:39.440
<v Speaker 1>into this? We should do a two parter. We've never

0:49:41.560 --> 0:49:43.640
<v Speaker 1>gonna break this into two parts that way people can

0:49:43.680 --> 0:49:47.160
<v Speaker 1>consume it. All right, So that's all for today. When

0:49:47.160 --> 0:49:49.440
<v Speaker 1>we come back with you, by the way, stream download

0:49:49.480 --> 0:49:54.840
<v Speaker 1>Jillian's record, uh SIDEA yes, yeah, and the next time

0:49:55.000 --> 0:49:57.399
<v Speaker 1>on the next episode The Bobby Cast. We've never done

0:49:57.400 --> 0:50:00.279
<v Speaker 1>this before. Yeah, I've ever done two parts. I'm one.

0:50:00.960 --> 0:50:03.080
<v Speaker 1>Jillian made a real diva demand before she got over

0:50:03.080 --> 0:50:06.800
<v Speaker 1>to the house, which is where we are now. Yeah,

0:50:06.880 --> 0:50:08.880
<v Speaker 1>we'll talk about that when we start the next episode

0:50:08.880 --> 0:50:12.799
<v Speaker 1>of The Bobby Cast. Jillian, We'll see you next time. Alright, alright, bye,

0:50:13.440 --> 0:50:14.000
<v Speaker 1>see you later.