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Speaker 1: In which Jillian jack Linson. So you always have the

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Speaker 1: coolest clothes, but what I know you do? You're actually

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Speaker 1: are we talking about my clothes? Well, because you're Ryan

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Speaker 1: Adams shirt. I were this to be funny because ahead

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Speaker 1: the first time that we interacted on social media, I

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Speaker 1: had well, this was like the second interaction. I had

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Speaker 1: sent you a picture. I was playing a show at

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Speaker 1: a venue that's right, Louis and St. Louis, and I sent, um,

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Speaker 1: you were playing with Bryan Adams. I was playing with

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Speaker 1: Ryan Adams that night, but you were on you were

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Speaker 1: going to be playing somewhere. So I was like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god to see your name. And and then you

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Speaker 1: wrote back and you're like, oh, what are you doing there?

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Speaker 1: And I said, I'm opening for Ryan Adams and and

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Speaker 1: you said, oh, like Summer of sixty nine. And I

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Speaker 1: thought you were being serious, and so I was. Of course,

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Speaker 1: I have the worst sense of humor, and so I

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Speaker 1: wrote back. I was like, oh, no, no no, that's that's

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Speaker 1: Brian Adams. This is Ryan Adams. And you're like, I

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Speaker 1: know that, were like the tim an idiot, had no

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Speaker 1: respect for me. The fact that you thought that I

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Speaker 1: was being serious meant you had no respect for anything

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Speaker 1: about me musically, I do, I really do. I think

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Speaker 1: you do. Because we had a chance to get to

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Speaker 1: know each other. I think I actually thought that a

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Speaker 1: lot of people and no disrespect to Ryan, but I

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Speaker 1: thought he might be like super under the radar and

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Speaker 1: like a lot of people don't know him. And I

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Speaker 1: didn't know that you were. Um, yeah, I guess I

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Speaker 1: didn't know that you knew a ton outside the country realm.

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Speaker 1: I was just crazy because I'm want to compare this

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Speaker 1: to who from Daniel Bradbrey she came in. I only

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Speaker 1: know her from not the voice, right, I don't know

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Speaker 1: her from the voice Daniel Bradberry and most people know

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Speaker 1: her from the voice. Now, when you say you only

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Speaker 1: know me from country, I worked. I worked every other

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Speaker 1: format for way longer than I have any country. That's great.

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Speaker 1: But I love that because that means that I'm really

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Speaker 1: resonating where I am now. Because I did pop, alternative,

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Speaker 1: I did hip hop, sports. Well, that yeah, that's it

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Speaker 1: gives you your edge. That's why you're cool here. Oh

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Speaker 1: I'm so cool. You're a cool guy in town. My

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Speaker 1: point was, I'm definitely not the cool guy. My point

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Speaker 1: was you're in a Ryan adom, sir, is that legit

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Speaker 1: like old school? Or no, this is new? This is

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Speaker 1: like from his last tour. Yeah. Um, I love his designs.

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Speaker 1: He has really great designs. I'll get some, um retro

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Speaker 1: what do they call the T shirts? Vintage? Thank you?

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Speaker 1: I am. I don't even know the word. So when

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Speaker 1: I do awards shows, I have a stylist, it'll like

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Speaker 1: dress me because I'm color blind. Everything dark looks the

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Speaker 1: same to me. Dark. Well, I have to memorize colors,

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Speaker 1: so I know these are a shade of red pants

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Speaker 1: that I have on. And so I've always had this problem.

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Speaker 1: So I have a stylist that comes and she'll pick

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Speaker 1: out clothes and say, no, that's a green, that's a black.

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Speaker 1: But I'll say, hey, I like the vintage T shirts.

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Speaker 1: And what she does is she finds real vintage T shirts.

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Speaker 1: But they're so expensive. Yeah they are. Yeah, they're like

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Speaker 1: double a normal T shirt price, maybe three or four

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Speaker 1: times too. And she won't tell me because what stylists do.

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Speaker 1: I've only learned this recently. Yeah is that. And I

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Speaker 1: have a great stylist and she's gonna have her own podcast.

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Speaker 1: But she'll she'll come and she'll say, here the clothes

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Speaker 1: you want, and I'll get a bill back like two

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Speaker 1: months later. And I was like, holy crap, that three

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Speaker 1: students shirt was like sixty eight dollars. That's my point

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Speaker 1: with that. But that's a new shirt. This is a

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Speaker 1: new one. But I have spent like I think the

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Speaker 1: most day spent was eighty bucks on a Judge shirt

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Speaker 1: from I have a nineteen I think eight nine toward

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Speaker 1: Judge T shirt. She's so good, their hair, everything that

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Speaker 1: she picked up because she knew I was a fan

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Speaker 1: of the Judge. I mean I was, yeah, I can't,

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Speaker 1: I can't. I a mumping them right now. Have you

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Speaker 1: hung out with Winona? I haven't. That would be pretty cool,

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Speaker 1: have you. Oh? I thought you had a great story.

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Speaker 1: I don't. But I was like obsessed with her as

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Speaker 1: a kid and her mom, both of them. I read

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Speaker 1: her book and everything. But yeah, they were some of

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Speaker 1: the like most eccentric characters. I feel like my mom

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Speaker 1: used to sing the Judge all the time. Which song?

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Speaker 1: I mean, which one tell me about? Yes, that's it

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Speaker 1: to me, that's my mom's singing. It was always the Judge.

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Speaker 1: Like when I think back about that, Yeah, and so

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Speaker 1: obviously I have an affinity for the judge because when

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Speaker 1: you think about being a kid, and I was born

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Speaker 1: in the eighties and they were a big deal kind

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Speaker 1: of to my kid years. Yeah, but I haven't. I

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Speaker 1: haven't been a shirt too that paid way too much

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Speaker 1: more that I haven't worried. Do you ever worried about

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Speaker 1: wearing them? Because there, if it's so cool, it might

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Speaker 1: be dead, like the shirt you killed the shirt because

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Speaker 1: you can't wear it anywhere else. No. I have that

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Speaker 1: problem with crazy suits. Oh, well with suits because yeah,

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Speaker 1: because if I have a suit for the CMA's last

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Speaker 1: year and it was not cheap, yeah, if it's that outrageous, though,

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Speaker 1: nobody will forget it. You know, if it's like some

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Speaker 1: crazy color sparkles on it, but I can't wear it again. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you gotta wear it's like a family reunion where nobody else.

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Speaker 1: But everything's on Instagram now, So that's the problem, you

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Speaker 1: know these days. I don't know if guys have this problem,

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Speaker 1: but I feel like, as a girl and as an artist,

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Speaker 1: if I wear something and I put it on Instagram,

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Speaker 1: then I'm like dead, Yes, then it's dead. Then it's

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Speaker 1: really dead. So I always have to try to somehow

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Speaker 1: make it different. But you your style makes you intimidating.

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Speaker 1: Why because it's really cool. But I told you the

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Speaker 1: first time I met you, I thought you were way cool.

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Speaker 1: And because I don't know, yeah, well then we started talking.

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Speaker 1: I don't know that we knew each other before I said, Hey,

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Speaker 1: come out on the road and do shows. Did we Nope,

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Speaker 1: we had never met. So the story with me learning

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Speaker 1: your music is that there were other songwriters that you're

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Speaker 1: either friends of or their fans of yours. Yeah. I

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Speaker 1: heard that last night for the first time, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, how they're Morgan and Caitlin Smith, and you know,

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Speaker 1: they would say, hey, Jillian Jacklin is really great. You should,

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Speaker 1: you know, really listen to music that's really sweet. And

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Speaker 1: the first time that I listened to your music, I

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Speaker 1: was like, wow, I actually like her music, not just

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Speaker 1: for my job but for my personal taste. Like I

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Speaker 1: like your sound because it's cool and it's a little

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Speaker 1: bit throwback. It's a little total leftist center. And so

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you like the description of your

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Speaker 1: music or not. I appreciate any and all descriptions because

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Speaker 1: I don't know where to start. I get asked that

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Speaker 1: question all the time. How do you describe it? And

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Speaker 1: I I don't quite know how to put it into words.

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Speaker 1: It's like, it's just me, It's what I do. But anyway,

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Speaker 1: continue it was I was like, man, she's way cool,

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Speaker 1: so she's probably gonna be too cool. So I just said, hey,

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Speaker 1: come out and do some shows. And when you were

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Speaker 1: out playing with Ryan Adams and I saw your plans,

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh, man, she's about to come out

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Speaker 1: with the Raging Idiots. It gets no more polarof than

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Speaker 1: Ryan Adams to the Raging Idiots. But like I said,

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Speaker 1: you have sort of created this this you know, niche

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Speaker 1: in this market where you do something really unique and

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Speaker 1: you also word artists that nobody else is listening to.

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Speaker 1: So for me, it was an opportunity to obviously get

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Speaker 1: to know you, but kind of to you know, meet

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Speaker 1: your fans and play music for people that seem to

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Speaker 1: really want to hear new artists. And that was important

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Speaker 1: to me first and foremost. What's the difference in opening

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Speaker 1: for Ryan Adams and opening for me? Rus are actually

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Speaker 1: the same? Like full theaters? Yeah, it's like the same,

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Speaker 1: because yours were what three three thousand and four thousand

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Speaker 1: theaters to three. But so that was the vibe. I'll

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Speaker 1: only play theaters because I have to. When you're in

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Speaker 1: a chair, yeah, your attention is forward. Yeah, You're not

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Speaker 1: spending a lot time talking people behind you to the

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Speaker 1: side of you. So I want to captive audience me too,

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Speaker 1: and so that's that's why I only play theaters unless

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Speaker 1: the festival comes. Yeah. No, I that's you. And there

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Speaker 1: were some similarities with you with your shows and Ryan's,

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Speaker 1: but only to go ahead. Um no, what was the difference? Um?

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Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know. He's like there was a

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Speaker 1: lot of sage burning backstage. Yeah, yeah, I know. He

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Speaker 1: he like z ends out his whole backstage. So it's

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Speaker 1: like he brings a you know, a pac Man on

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Speaker 1: the road and then he burns like all this incense

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Speaker 1: and stuff like a video game. Yeah, like the full

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Speaker 1: pac Man video game, Like he brings it with him

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Speaker 1: and yeah, no he that was such a fluke thing anyway,

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Speaker 1: I mean that that happened. How does that happen? Did

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Speaker 1: he hear your music? Yeah? He heard my song hate

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Speaker 1: Me and uh I guess on Spotify and he messaged

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Speaker 1: me on Twitter and he was like, hey, did you

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Speaker 1: write this is this you singing? I'm like, yes, that's cool, right,

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Speaker 1: yeah yeah, Ryan at Oh I freaked out like the

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Speaker 1: gap from Summer sixty nine Robin Hood. Yeah, No, I

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Speaker 1: am a I am a huge, huge fan, like have

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Speaker 1: been for a long time. So of course that was crazy.

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Speaker 1: And then like a month later he had he had

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Speaker 1: slots opening up, and so my agent called me was like, hey,

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Speaker 1: Ryan Adams wants to know if you can be in

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Speaker 1: Minneapolis tomorrow and I was like, yes I can. Who

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Speaker 1: paid more for the opening? Because I think I paid

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Speaker 1: a thousand dollars a show? Did I pay more to

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Speaker 1: Ryan Adams? Pay more? You don't have to tell me

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Speaker 1: how much you paid. I just wonder who paid you

183
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Speaker 1: more to how much did you pay me a thousand

184
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Speaker 1: bucks a show? I feel like it was more than that.

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Speaker 1: You think he paid you more? No, I think you

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Speaker 1: think that. I won't pay anyone less than a thousand

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Speaker 1: bucks because I wanted them to make a little money

188
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Speaker 1: aside from just travel. Because it was a thousand he

189
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Speaker 1: paid a little bit more. He did. Come on, he's

190
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Speaker 1: probably making more than two. If I charge you more

191
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Speaker 1: for a ticket, that's what I gotta do. I gotta

192
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Speaker 1: take care of the artist better. Please, You're awesome. We

193
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Speaker 1: had a lot of fun. I'm fun right, so fun.

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Speaker 1: My point was some of the nicest people you have

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Speaker 1: around you. You surround yourself, so I surround like everybody

196
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Speaker 1: around me. Has to be just like they are every

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Speaker 1: everyone they are Mike d Eddie, like all sweet people. Yeah, yeah, Ellen, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I love Ellen. It was I have a really great crew. Yeah,

199
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Speaker 1: you have to be awesome as a human to roll

200
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Speaker 1: on my team, all my teams, if it's my morning show,

201
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Speaker 1: the band, the standard crew. I mean you took my

202
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Speaker 1: tour manager. Wait a second, I forgot you a trick. No,

203
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Speaker 1: I didn't say it's a bad thing. I'm actually very

204
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Speaker 1: very happy for her. I have an awesome tour manager.

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Speaker 1: She's so great she is. Yeah, and I did call

206
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Speaker 1: you because I was happy that you you took her.

207
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Speaker 1: I don't want to take her from you, No, I

208
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Speaker 1: would tell you. And if you can offer her a

209
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Speaker 1: better job to take. I only want people to have

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Speaker 1: great jobs and have great lives and careers. Well, well,

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Speaker 1: I don't know how great. It's not an upgrade, that's

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Speaker 1: for sure, because you put her on a tour bus.

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Speaker 1: She's going to be driving a van with me, so

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Speaker 1: we dropped sometimes if it's three or four hours, okay,

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Speaker 1: well we put a bus, you know, fancy plane. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know that stuff. I know you do. I got

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Speaker 1: the offer a couple of times. I couldn't make it happen,

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Speaker 1: and I wanted to, but I had more than people.

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Speaker 1: There are only so many seats. I know, I know,

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Speaker 1: but you did. So. I have a tour manager and

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Speaker 1: her name Titia. She's awesome. Did you meet her out

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Speaker 1: with me? Is that how you knew her? And then

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Speaker 1: Julian tried to hire him like she did hire her. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but not. I don't think you hired her from me

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Speaker 1: at all. You're just using her outside of me. I think.

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Speaker 1: I think that's the case. Yeah, I think that's the case.

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Speaker 1: You know, speaking of private jets, I just learned that

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Speaker 1: artists will play shows like for these private jet companies

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Speaker 1: and barter for flight time. And I was like, people

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Speaker 1: in society, I will do this. That's the that's how

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Speaker 1: you get in, Like I just it's amazing. Without I

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Speaker 1: don't want to put him on. I would say his name,

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Speaker 1: but I think tell you after recording. He came to

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Speaker 1: me the other Day said he you should do more

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Speaker 1: of this. I have did deal and so are you

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Speaker 1: play shows and then they give you ours. That's crazy.

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Speaker 1: You don't pay any money. You may have to play

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Speaker 1: taxes on it. Okay, there's the one thing you can't

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Speaker 1: avoid taxes. Yeah, but it is amazing and I can't

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Speaker 1: say that happened. It's not a system. I just have

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Speaker 1: done that before and they go, hey, can I use

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Speaker 1: your services and exchange We'll give you our services. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's yes, it is great. Um. All my point was

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Speaker 1: was that you you seemed quite difficult to approach, and

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Speaker 1: then I said, you know what, I'm just gonna see

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Speaker 1: and then I was completely wrong. You're super You seem

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Speaker 1: super cool because you were super cool. Sometimes people look

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Speaker 1: super cool and they're they're they're a little difficult. Uh yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean it's I know people will probably always say this,

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Speaker 1: but like I'm really not. I'm just no, no, I

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Speaker 1: vouch for that now. Yeah I'm not. But even your

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Speaker 1: artwork is cool, Like there's a vibe to you red

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Speaker 1: ro cool vibeeah. Yeah, well I love that stuff. That's

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Speaker 1: my one of my favorite parts of this is design.

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Speaker 1: I'm like a huge just I love all things that

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Speaker 1: have to do with um. I mean graphics and photography

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Speaker 1: and anything visual. I've just always loved that stuff. So

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Speaker 1: I do all of it myself, and I kind of

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Speaker 1: just tell you, yeah, most most of it. I mean

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Speaker 1: some stuff I can't actually do, like on Photoshop, so

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Speaker 1: I have someone from my label do it. So I

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Speaker 1: do Microsoft paint no old school in the computer with

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Speaker 1: the colors. Okay, we do a commercial, all right. Let

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Speaker 1: me talk about this. Blue Apron will come to your

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Speaker 1: cooked and under forty five minutes. The menu changes every

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Speaker 1: They have twelve new recipes every week and it really

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Speaker 1: Right now, Quick bucatini with broccoli and peccorino cheese. Haven't

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Speaker 1: had that one? Pan fried chicken breast with sweet and

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Speaker 1: zangya and tangy zucchini. I've had that one. The Italian

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Speaker 1: style shrimp and sweet peppers of forgolas arta pasta, and

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Speaker 1: this here on the Bobby Cast, thirty dollars off your

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Speaker 1: Bobby Cast. You gotta put that slash Bobby cast though

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Speaker 1: blue apron dot com slash Bobby Cast. Blue Apron is

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00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:29,320
Speaker 1: a better way to cook. Okay, So let's let's talk

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Speaker 1: about your music for a second. The first song, because

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Speaker 1: I remember I had to come into the you've been

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Speaker 1: on the radio show before? Yeah, So I remember I

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Speaker 1: was flying to Mexico that day and we went in

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Speaker 1: at like seven, What time show going? Well, I know

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Speaker 1: it starts to five, but you think you came in later. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we came in and um, you had called us like

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Speaker 1: on a Monday, and it was a Wednesday or something,

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Speaker 1: and so you know, I had wanted to be on

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Speaker 1: your show for a long time, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: oh shit, okay, we're going in like in two days.

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Speaker 1: And I had never done that before. That's right. It

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Speaker 1: was your first ever radio You did the word ship.

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Speaker 1: You did that's right. And we were like, whoa, you

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Speaker 1: can't do that because on this you can say whatever

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Speaker 1: you want, because this isn't good because these airwaves aren't

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Speaker 1: regulated by the government. The government owns the radio airwaves

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Speaker 1: and they regulate them, right, and you were breaking the law,

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Speaker 1: but they don't put you in jail. They and I

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Speaker 1: had just come off a million dollar fine about ten

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Speaker 1: months prior. You didn't have famillion dollars. I got fined

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Speaker 1: a million of my company paid it for me. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I want pay. I mean, I guess that's a big plan.

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Speaker 1: That's a multis like, but I cost my company a

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Speaker 1: million dollars for something you said, yeah, for something I

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Speaker 1: did on the air. And so when you came on

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Speaker 1: and you cursed, were like, but I brought you in.

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Speaker 1: Nobody had prepped me before I walked into the road.

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Speaker 1: I told you that was the best way to come

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Speaker 1: in because you weren't media trained. Yeah, and I haven't

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Speaker 1: been since them and you shouldn't be if you actually

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Speaker 1: have thoughts. I feel like you shouldn't be. The only

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Speaker 1: things that that real art and I say artists people

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Speaker 1: to have something to say creatively, maybe not speak it

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Speaker 1: or sing. But the only thing you should really be

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Speaker 1: trained on or the quirks if you go uh or

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Speaker 1: your mouth goes, or if you kept scratching yourself like

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Speaker 1: you just did for the whole the whole thing, just

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Speaker 1: like those are the little things that you should be

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Speaker 1: told about, right, Yeah, but you don't have those, so

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Speaker 1: you're good. So you came in. Here's what I remember

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Speaker 1: from this. You came in and you I was really nervous.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't tell Oh, yeah, I was very nervous. I

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Speaker 1: don't think we've done any shows together by then either.

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Speaker 1: And then I remember that I like had to put

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Speaker 1: the lyrics to rich Girl up on my iPhone and

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Speaker 1: I couldn't get my phone too. It was just and

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Speaker 1: I was like probably shaking and sweating, and I don't

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Speaker 1: you know what what sucks about me is that in

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Speaker 1: the same thing, I guess with anyone, I've been doing

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Speaker 1: it so long, I don't know what it's like to

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Speaker 1: come from the other side. Yeah, I get that. So

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Speaker 1: it's intimidating though walking into that room knowing who you

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Speaker 1: guys are. It is, yeah, because everybody has played that show,

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Speaker 1: like everyone important, and so when you finally get to

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Speaker 1: play the show, you're like, oh, I remember you came

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Speaker 1: in and again I was a big fan, so I said, hey,

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Speaker 1: I WI want you to play multiple songs, and I

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Speaker 1: think you played two of your own and a cover,

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Speaker 1: which is rare because most of the time, so my audience,

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Speaker 1: if they don't know an artist, what I like to

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Speaker 1: do is let them play a cover. So the audience goes, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm familiar with the song they're playing, and I also

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Speaker 1: like what they're doing, so I'm gonna listen for their

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Speaker 1: original if anything else. Because some people will go covers

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Speaker 1: out my thing, and I go, that's great. But they

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Speaker 1: are my audiences thing for the most part, because they

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Speaker 1: could be warmed up to a new artist completely. I

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Speaker 1: understand that more now I have a very complicated relationship

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Speaker 1: with cover songs people do. Yeah, And I think I

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Speaker 1: was like just scarred as a child because I did

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Speaker 1: a lot of karaoke and like had to play weddings

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Speaker 1: and I just didn't. And with this age, of social media.

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Speaker 1: A lot of people I think can like they only

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Speaker 1: do covers, and then it just feels like, what do

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Speaker 1: you have to say personally? You know, I don't need

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Speaker 1: to see you sing someone else's song all the time,

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Speaker 1: So I tried to stay away from that. But I

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Speaker 1: get it. When an audience sees a show for the

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Speaker 1: first time, they have no idea who you are. They

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Speaker 1: get really excited when you play the cover song because

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Speaker 1: then they feel like they can identify with first of

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Speaker 1: all the song you picked. They're like, oh, okay, they

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Speaker 1: like that song too, that speaks to them. And then

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Speaker 1: if you do a really good job, then they've heard

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Speaker 1: an awesome version of that song that they've never heard.

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Speaker 1: So I am warming up to it now and I'm

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Speaker 1: having to learn more covers because the country audiences love them.

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Speaker 1: I don't think you should have to do a lot

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Speaker 1: of them, but for me on this show, because we

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Speaker 1: do about I think five million a week to listen

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Speaker 1: to the show, right, so I'm dealing with a major

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Speaker 1: audience at one time. And so even on the podcast

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Speaker 1: when the podcast is different, even the show podcast not

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Speaker 1: this one, because people can skip things, I have to

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Speaker 1: keep them when I'm live and if they change it,

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Speaker 1: then I may not get that as high of a ratings.

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Speaker 1: So in order, if someone plays an unknown song by

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Speaker 1: an unknown artist, people go check something else out. I

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Speaker 1: might come back. But if you play something they know,

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Speaker 1: you kind of lure them in to something that you

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Speaker 1: were doing now in the tone of your voice even

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Speaker 1: you know, like if they like the way you sound,

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Speaker 1: And you did Rich Girl, and it's fantastic. I don't

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Speaker 1: remember you're not having the lyrics. I just remember nailing it.

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Speaker 1: I remember you saying it a bad word. And then

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Speaker 1: you played two songs, and I remember that. And I

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Speaker 1: don't look at iTunes as much because the days of

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Speaker 1: downloading music are still up on us, but a lot

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Speaker 1: of people are, all the younger are streaming more than downloading.

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Speaker 1: But I looked at eye Twits, and both of the

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Speaker 1: songs that you played on the show, I just went boom,

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Speaker 1: and then they both jumped really high, which meant they

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Speaker 1: bought both songs, which meant they weren't just liking a song,

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Speaker 1: they were liking an artist. And I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: that's like I thought you were good. But I think

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Speaker 1: my connection with the audience is a lot of times

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Speaker 1: not always, but a lot of times I can speak

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Speaker 1: for them and go, this is good and they liked you.

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Speaker 1: And remember thinking that, Wow, she played two songs and

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Speaker 1: they're both being downloaded like crazy. Yeah, well that's I

408
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:11,679
Speaker 1: have to tell you, like you gravitating towards hate Me,

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Speaker 1: and I think it was hate Me and God bless or.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what you played, but I remember you

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Speaker 1: liked hate Me. And just the fact that you liked

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Speaker 1: hate Me and decided to play that song. You know,

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Speaker 1: that was a big discussion with my whole team, like, well,

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Speaker 1: Bobby likes hate Me, and we were trying to figure

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Speaker 1: out what the song be the single for radio. There's

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Speaker 1: a difference on what and what I think because hate

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Speaker 1: Me is my favorite song. Yeah it is, come on.

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Speaker 1: But again, as a business guy, I would say this

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Speaker 1: isn't your radio song. But at first, yeah, because I

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Speaker 1: heard have something stupid enough, a little a little more

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Speaker 1: tempo at first, because you have these working against you.

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Speaker 1: It's a slower song and your female and it's about

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Speaker 1: a relationship it Yeah, and they are all these little

424
00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:01,120
Speaker 1: idiosyncracies that people will look for to shoot it down, like, oh,

425
00:21:01,119 --> 00:21:05,680
Speaker 1: it's too negative. Because programmers much like myself are huge douchebags.

426
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,520
Speaker 1: We are, And I don't think a douchebag means you're

427
00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:10,600
Speaker 1: a bad person. I think a douchebag is someone who

428
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:13,360
Speaker 1: thinks they know more than they actually do. You're probably right,

429
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:16,760
Speaker 1: I'm the epitome of a douchebag. Yeah. What I've learned

430
00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:20,680
Speaker 1: from radio is I think everyone is generally still trying

431
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:24,320
Speaker 1: to figure out exactly what's going on. Um And not

432
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:27,160
Speaker 1: to discredit anyone, because I think everyone is doing their best,

433
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:29,800
Speaker 1: but I think it's it's changing really fast, and so

434
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:33,120
Speaker 1: I think people are just trying to maintain some sort

435
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:36,560
Speaker 1: of like understanding. And maybe that comes off as like,

436
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:39,160
Speaker 1: here's why, Jillian and Jacqueline, I'm the smartest person radio.

437
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,640
Speaker 1: You're ready, Yeah, I'm ready because I know I don't

438
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:46,520
Speaker 1: know anything. Yeah, it's very Socrates, who you really do?

439
00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:49,800
Speaker 1: You really think you don't know? There's nothing to know

440
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:52,600
Speaker 1: in a creative space. You can't actually know anything. There

441
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:55,159
Speaker 1: is no form in a creative space. You can take

442
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:57,720
Speaker 1: your best guesses. You can hear things and you can

443
00:21:57,920 --> 00:21:59,600
Speaker 1: try to relate them. Because I have an audience that

444
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:03,560
Speaker 1: trust what I'm seeing and what I'm hearing, and most

445
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,760
Speaker 1: of the time they agree with me, and so they

446
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:08,680
Speaker 1: have that trust. They give me the benefit of that.

447
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:12,560
Speaker 1: But there's I can't possibly know something that's not tangible.

448
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:15,920
Speaker 1: So you don't ever worry that you need to have

449
00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:19,320
Speaker 1: like a handle on what is popular or I'm worried

450
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:21,359
Speaker 1: about that I've lost a step, but you don't. You

451
00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:23,600
Speaker 1: don't worry about that. Now. If you said, what's my

452
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:26,840
Speaker 1: radio song? I could tell you. So you have like

453
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:29,000
Speaker 1: a separate part of your brain. That's like, okay, I

454
00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:34,800
Speaker 1: understand what radio would want. Yeah, because that's just data analysis,

455
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:39,920
Speaker 1: watching what other douchebags are doing, you know, being knowing

456
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,800
Speaker 1: all the douche baggs being one myself, like it takes

457
00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:46,040
Speaker 1: a solid douche bag to and I'm the king of them.

458
00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:49,520
Speaker 1: So but no, but I yes, it's a different thing.

459
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:53,040
Speaker 1: But yeah, there have been I don't think about that stuff.

460
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:55,600
Speaker 1: So I don't know. Yeah, I managed to do sixteen

461
00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:58,240
Speaker 1: weeks of a radio tour and I still don't check anything.

462
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:02,320
Speaker 1: I don't My brain doesn't go there. I just it

463
00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:05,600
Speaker 1: would ruin my creativity. It would literally squash it and

464
00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:08,439
Speaker 1: I would be dead inside. So I just can't. I

465
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:11,560
Speaker 1: just don't look at it. I don't ask questions. I'm

466
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:14,520
Speaker 1: such the opposite. Well, there's some artists that like really

467
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,240
Speaker 1: are good at it and they want to know and

468
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:18,199
Speaker 1: they ask all the questions and they stay up on it,

469
00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:21,400
Speaker 1: and I commend them. I don't work that way. I

470
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:26,320
Speaker 1: am so personally connected to every lyric of my songs

471
00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:29,040
Speaker 1: that I I it would crush me. Like if I

472
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:32,240
Speaker 1: watched something die, Do you look at comments? Let's say

473
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:37,160
Speaker 1: hate me up? Oh no YouTube, No, I would never

474
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:42,800
Speaker 1: comments because it's never good. No, you're walking into are

475
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:47,160
Speaker 1: But sometimes times I've seen, like you know, at the top,

476
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:48,960
Speaker 1: they'll have the thumbs up and the thumbs down, and

477
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:52,400
Speaker 1: I'll be like, who the hell bumbs down? Like who

478
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:55,399
Speaker 1: are you? You can go you can save an orphan

479
00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 1: from a bus flying over clip and someone thumbs down. Seriously,

480
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:01,560
Speaker 1: it's too easy to make if someone feel disliked, and

481
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:06,000
Speaker 1: there's a power in having an equal voice going I

482
00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:07,520
Speaker 1: don't like it. And I finally had the power to

483
00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:10,280
Speaker 1: tell someone that I don't because what I think is

484
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:14,920
Speaker 1: it's very much into the psyche of like myself. I've

485
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:16,840
Speaker 1: been told a long time that hey, you suck, you

486
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:19,280
Speaker 1: don't speak right. So the natural and I'm just using

487
00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:21,320
Speaker 1: myself as an example. Yeah, I would go, oh, I

488
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:23,119
Speaker 1: don't like being told that I'm not good, So I

489
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:25,239
Speaker 1: finally have an even voice, and I'm going to tell

490
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:27,439
Speaker 1: someone they're not good. And I think a lot of

491
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:30,000
Speaker 1: that happens. So, yeah, I don't think they actually just

492
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:34,200
Speaker 1: like things on Facebook page. I can't. I don't even

493
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:36,560
Speaker 1: go and I say this on the air, I don't

494
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:38,520
Speaker 1: go to my show's Facebook page. I don't even go

495
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:42,280
Speaker 1: look at it maybe three times a year, because it's

496
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:46,239
Speaker 1: it's just that it's just a hatred mindfield. Yeah, and

497
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:50,240
Speaker 1: that's unfortunate. I don't know why people don't realize that

498
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:52,640
Speaker 1: something they type on their computer and send out into

499
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:55,600
Speaker 1: the universe, that they don't realize it has power. Because

500
00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:57,720
Speaker 1: that's what I can't figure out. It's not real. It's

501
00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:00,320
Speaker 1: so real to me, like I would never do that.

502
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:02,439
Speaker 1: That's just because you've had a taste of it, and

503
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:04,920
Speaker 1: maybe you may maybe a better human too. But I'd

504
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:08,359
Speaker 1: like to think I'm that have been just disgusting to me,

505
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:10,399
Speaker 1: and you meet him in person and there actually pretty

506
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:13,000
Speaker 1: nice people and they're like, oh, I'm sorry that, Yeah,

507
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:15,640
Speaker 1: it was just I just think when you're on the computer,

508
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:18,880
Speaker 1: you don't feel like it's real life. That is probably

509
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:22,800
Speaker 1: messing up our psyche in some like very deep psychological way.

510
00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:26,680
Speaker 1: I think that we're not connecting our actions with other

511
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:30,040
Speaker 1: people's feelings. We also don't think that people actually see

512
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:33,639
Speaker 1: what we're writing. If let's say Chris Rock puts out

513
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:36,200
Speaker 1: a comedy special and I give a little comment, I

514
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:39,640
Speaker 1: don't think, yeah, that's true. I really feel like there's

515
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:42,359
Speaker 1: enough disassociation that you're like, yeah, I get it. You

516
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:45,920
Speaker 1: feel free and clear and safe. But will he absolutely yeah,

517
00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:48,240
Speaker 1: I mean probably probably. I won't mention. His name is

518
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:51,159
Speaker 1: a plus less artist and I'm very friendly with and

519
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:53,040
Speaker 1: he put his out out and he was reading reviews

520
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:54,520
Speaker 1: of it and he was like, he's like, I can't

521
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:57,600
Speaker 1: believe that the people he was reading literal reviews the

522
00:25:57,680 --> 00:26:00,440
Speaker 1: day it came out is he's an ape you can

523
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:06,160
Speaker 1: get And he was like, the album was huge. See.

524
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:09,239
Speaker 1: That just goes to show though there's everything is relative too.

525
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:13,280
Speaker 1: I'm learning that everything is relative and everything there's conditions

526
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:18,600
Speaker 1: on things, So you know, I think that for me, um,

527
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:22,560
Speaker 1: I just try to remember to only focus on the

528
00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:26,080
Speaker 1: things that I actually have control over because otherwise there's

529
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:29,320
Speaker 1: somebody out there that's gonna say something about me, and

530
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:30,760
Speaker 1: it's going to get back to me, and it's probably

531
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:33,840
Speaker 1: gonna hurt my feelings. But I don't I don't even.

532
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:37,200
Speaker 1: I think I'm so afraid of like knowing that people

533
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:39,119
Speaker 1: could be that horrible to me, because I am not

534
00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:42,959
Speaker 1: at the point where I'm getting bombarded with like mean stuff.

535
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:46,360
Speaker 1: Like everyone's pretty generally nice to me online. But there

536
00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:49,560
Speaker 1: will come a day maybe when you exposure rises. Yeah,

537
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:51,640
Speaker 1: and then people are like, oh, she's big. She's big

538
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:54,080
Speaker 1: enough now that I can throw stones and she probably

539
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:58,560
Speaker 1: won't notice. That's weird to me because I'm just here,

540
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:02,359
Speaker 1: like writing songs about my life. That feels weird. I

541
00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:04,960
Speaker 1: think that that's also what makes you cut through, Like

542
00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 1: what is your biggest strength turns to be your biggest

543
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:11,640
Speaker 1: weakness as well. Yeah maybe, And I'm also I've sort

544
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:16,879
Speaker 1: of like realized that I have to keep holding onto

545
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:21,879
Speaker 1: this underdog mentality. Whenever you feel like you're getting to

546
00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:24,400
Speaker 1: the next step, I think you have to keep your

547
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:27,560
Speaker 1: mind one step behind the step you just took, because

548
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:29,600
Speaker 1: if you actually believe you are where you are, then

549
00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:33,440
Speaker 1: you start to get delusional and I think that I

550
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:37,280
Speaker 1: always want to keep this underdog mentality of like I

551
00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:39,440
Speaker 1: am the underdog and I can't believe I'm here because

552
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:42,320
Speaker 1: if I ever get comfortable in any situation I'm in,

553
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:45,360
Speaker 1: you know, it's probably just gonna, like, first of all,

554
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:48,359
Speaker 1: fall apart. And I don't want to believe any hype

555
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:51,160
Speaker 1: that ever happens around me. And that's all with who

556
00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:57,080
Speaker 1: you surround yourself with, because I'm perpetually the underdog. But

557
00:27:57,280 --> 00:27:59,640
Speaker 1: when you start putting people around your people coming, why say, oh,

558
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:01,919
Speaker 1: you you get a million dollar fine? Next thing? You know?

559
00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:05,440
Speaker 1: That for me was the I was out of control. Yeah,

560
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:07,640
Speaker 1: and I got a million dollar fine. And now I'm

561
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:09,520
Speaker 1: not really that out of control anymore. I just kind

562
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:13,400
Speaker 1: of out of control. But no, I think that it's

563
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:15,119
Speaker 1: a lot with who you surround yourself with, you know.

564
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:17,920
Speaker 1: With me, I like all joking aside. I've I've kept

565
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:22,400
Speaker 1: the same people from when I was doing nothing. I'm

566
00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:25,159
Speaker 1: just grinding it out in one town, an awesome city.

567
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:29,240
Speaker 1: But we were the underdoggings in one city much less

568
00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:32,159
Speaker 1: we weren't syndicated, we weren't anything. I think that's incredible

569
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:34,080
Speaker 1: that you have all your friends on this show with you.

570
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:38,080
Speaker 1: It's the only thing that kept me somewhat normal, has

571
00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:41,960
Speaker 1: made me successful with surrounding myself with that layer of Hey, Bobby,

572
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:44,080
Speaker 1: you're being a douchebag right now. That's what Amy my

573
00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:46,000
Speaker 1: coast does. Feel like you're out of You're a little

574
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:47,120
Speaker 1: out of control right now. I kind of be in.

575
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:52,920
Speaker 1: And they've been with me so long that I go, huh,

576
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:56,160
Speaker 1: at least I'm going to evaluate this. Yes, I don't

577
00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:59,200
Speaker 1: always agree, but that's been it for me, is keeping

578
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:01,680
Speaker 1: the people around me. You said something last night because

579
00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:03,360
Speaker 1: we had a show last night where I took my

580
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:07,320
Speaker 1: class who every year, I picked five artists and I go, hey,

581
00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:08,560
Speaker 1: this is a big year, and you're one of them

582
00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 1: this year. And so you were talking last night and

583
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:15,520
Speaker 1: you're he's not your fiance. Yeah, I forgot my ring today.

584
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 1: By the way, I'm not wearing it right now. It's

585
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:20,960
Speaker 1: at home. He's still not remembering. Yeah, I'm not used to.

586
00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:23,400
Speaker 1: It's been like six days. You made the comment that

587
00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:25,320
Speaker 1: he has to be on stage with you and play

588
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:28,520
Speaker 1: songs that you wrote about your boyfriend before. Yeah, that's

589
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:31,120
Speaker 1: pretty funny, it is. I haven't. I didn't think about

590
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:34,200
Speaker 1: it until we were on radio tour and somebody on

591
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:37,120
Speaker 1: at the radio station was like, so, wait, you guys

592
00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:39,720
Speaker 1: are dating now? That sucks for him, Like he's just

593
00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:42,240
Speaker 1: singing about your ex. And I was like, Oh, he's fine, whatever,

594
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:44,360
Speaker 1: He's fine. But then later I was like, wait, that

595
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:46,680
Speaker 1: actually is kind of shitty for him. I feel bad

596
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:49,720
Speaker 1: he's and he like you know, takes it like a champs.

597
00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:53,920
Speaker 1: He's not, he's not sensitive about it. But it's I

598
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:55,920
Speaker 1: think it's weird knowing how long we're gonna have to

599
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:58,160
Speaker 1: sing these songs about my ex and there's always going

600
00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 1: to be like that's story through my music, Like I'm

601
00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:05,520
Speaker 1: always going to have that person as part of my

602
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:09,880
Speaker 1: musical history. And he inspired a lot of songs, you know,

603
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:13,320
Speaker 1: and uh, that's the way it goes. But I was

604
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:16,200
Speaker 1: talking to Carly Pearce about that because her songs about

605
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:21,360
Speaker 1: X and it's the same thing. You write songs about

606
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:23,600
Speaker 1: people and they come in and out of your life

607
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:26,520
Speaker 1: and then you always have to sing this song. They're

608
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 1: like immortalized, and the feelings you had then are like

609
00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:32,040
Speaker 1: stuck on me and with hate me especially that song

610
00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:35,239
Speaker 1: still makes me feel like that that was tough. It

611
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:37,960
Speaker 1: was um and that person is like still someone I

612
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:42,080
Speaker 1: really care about that. I think why gravitated to it is.

613
00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:47,800
Speaker 1: I mean, all your songs have this authentic texture to them,

614
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:50,560
Speaker 1: but that song was you don't even think about that

615
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:53,680
Speaker 1: song unless you're living it. Like you don't even think

616
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:58,360
Speaker 1: that's a concept unless you're living it, because you don't

617
00:30:58,360 --> 00:30:59,440
Speaker 1: go I could go, hey, I want write a song

618
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:02,440
Speaker 1: about a any day in Africa. Yeah, and I could

619
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:04,640
Speaker 1: write that song even I've never been there. Yeah, you

620
00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:08,080
Speaker 1: don't write this song hate me unless you've actually been

621
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:11,200
Speaker 1: in the place where that's coming out of you. And

622
00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:14,120
Speaker 1: I like wrote that song the day that that whole

623
00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 1: conversation happened and where I felt all of those emotions,

624
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:21,280
Speaker 1: Like I went straight from our what was our house

625
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,480
Speaker 1: to my writing session and yeah, so you walk in

626
00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:27,040
Speaker 1: the room and you say what to your co writers? Well,

627
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:29,320
Speaker 1: it was just tofor and I my producer when I

628
00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:32,200
Speaker 1: got there, Hillary Lindsay, was showing up in like forty

629
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,280
Speaker 1: five minutes, and so he and I wanted to have

630
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:38,800
Speaker 1: something started before she got there. So I explained to

631
00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:41,320
Speaker 1: him the conversation I had just had with my ex

632
00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:45,080
Speaker 1: and I had written down in my phone this would

633
00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:47,560
Speaker 1: be so much easier if you hated me. And so

634
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:50,440
Speaker 1: I was talking to Tofur about that and how I

635
00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:54,040
Speaker 1: really loved this person and care about this person, and

636
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:57,520
Speaker 1: it's so much harder to walk away and not want

637
00:31:57,520 --> 00:31:59,600
Speaker 1: to walk right back when you really care about him.

638
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:01,000
Speaker 1: And I was just like, I wish one of us

639
00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 1: had cheated on each other. I wish we had killed

640
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:06,440
Speaker 1: someone something that would make it easier to never want

641
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:09,240
Speaker 1: to see you again because it's not working, we're not happy,

642
00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:11,640
Speaker 1: but we still love each other. It's very felt, very

643
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:15,240
Speaker 1: complicated at the time, and I was just trying to

644
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:19,160
Speaker 1: say that in a song, and I really felt that

645
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:21,600
Speaker 1: that chorus, you know, just kind of fell out as

646
00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:24,640
Speaker 1: a conversation, and I think I pretty much said like

647
00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:27,120
Speaker 1: the first four lines to toe for like, you know,

648
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:29,120
Speaker 1: come on and hate me, tell me you regret you

649
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:31,320
Speaker 1: ever met me, you know, make sure that it hurts

650
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:33,440
Speaker 1: right as I'm leaving. I mean, I just felt that,

651
00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:35,800
Speaker 1: like I feel that I don't have a good history

652
00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:38,800
Speaker 1: of relationships. No one's ever cheated. Why are you laughing?

653
00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:43,040
Speaker 1: I don't know. No. I was just like I've heard

654
00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:46,200
Speaker 1: some things. No, I've heard you talk about it. Yeah

655
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:49,640
Speaker 1: because anything, Yeah, because anything I mean I say everything.

656
00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:51,840
Speaker 1: I feel like I said everything, but no one's ever cheated.

657
00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:56,400
Speaker 1: It's always been really awesome, but it's been my fault

658
00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:58,320
Speaker 1: and I might just like, Man, it would just be

659
00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:00,320
Speaker 1: so much easier if you were just discussed it with

660
00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:02,960
Speaker 1: me and wanted to just read me from you because

661
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:06,480
Speaker 1: they're so awesome. Yeah, I don't have a bad ex girlfriend.

662
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:09,920
Speaker 1: I've been. I've been the problem every time, and it

663
00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:12,080
Speaker 1: would just maybe that's why that song hits me so hard,

664
00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:15,120
Speaker 1: where it would just I just relate to it. Where

665
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:17,960
Speaker 1: do you want to get married? Yeah? I think you

666
00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:20,280
Speaker 1: want to have kids? Yeah, I think so. I'm definitely

667
00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:22,200
Speaker 1: not against it. I'm not someone who goes no. But

668
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:26,360
Speaker 1: again I don't. I haven't been right there where I'm going.

669
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:28,400
Speaker 1: I want to do that, and I'm not going to

670
00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:31,320
Speaker 1: do it for the sake of doing it. So but

671
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:35,120
Speaker 1: because I don't, I think I do, if that's fair

672
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:37,640
Speaker 1: to say, because I am not like Nope, I don't.

673
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:40,800
Speaker 1: That means I think I do for the right. Yeah,

674
00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:44,240
Speaker 1: if you're even open to the possibility, that's why I

675
00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:47,680
Speaker 1: think I am. Yeah, they definitely am. Yeah. Okay, another

676
00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 1: commercial right in the middle of the in the middle

677
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:51,800
Speaker 1: of the okay, let me do this commercial. The I

678
00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:54,120
Speaker 1: R S at least their annual Dirty dozen lists of

679
00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:57,239
Speaker 1: tax scams and phone scams, and the most common one

680
00:33:57,280 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 1: is when callers pose as an I R S representative

681
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:02,040
Speaker 1: and they say tell me this information and then you

682
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:05,160
Speaker 1: go okay, cool, here it is the next thing you know, boom,

683
00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:08,560
Speaker 1: they have your numbers and identification and they're still in

684
00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:11,760
Speaker 1: stuff your bank accounts. Well. So many threats in today's

685
00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:15,000
Speaker 1: connected world, and it takes just one week link for

686
00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:17,840
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687
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:20,799
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688
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:23,360
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689
00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:25,040
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690
00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:27,680
Speaker 1: If you have a problem, your agents, the agents their

691
00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:30,320
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692
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:33,680
Speaker 1: cyber threat or prevent all identity theft monitor transactions at

693
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:37,080
Speaker 1: all businesses, but New life Flock with Norton Security is

694
00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:39,719
Speaker 1: able to uncover threats that you might miss. Go to

695
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:42,759
Speaker 1: life flock dot com or one life flock. Use the

696
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:45,520
Speaker 1: promo code bones for an additional ten percent off your

697
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:48,000
Speaker 1: first year. I have life flock, I use LifeLock. I

698
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,400
Speaker 1: mean they don't use it every day, thank goodness, but

699
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:54,320
Speaker 1: sometimes after use it, life flock dot com slash bones

700
00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:57,200
Speaker 1: for an extra ten percent off. Okay, so how about

701
00:34:58,080 --> 00:35:04,120
Speaker 1: God bless this mess? As the kids say? This is

702
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:08,719
Speaker 1: the bomb? Kids say that? Does it scare you? Ever?

703
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:11,000
Speaker 1: As you're getting older, when you realize that, like kids

704
00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:12,839
Speaker 1: in high school are saying things that you don't even

705
00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:16,359
Speaker 1: know they're saying, Well, I feel nervous about it. If

706
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:19,920
Speaker 1: I was still doing any sort of pop, yeah, I

707
00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:21,960
Speaker 1: would have to worry about that. But I feel like

708
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:26,360
Speaker 1: my audience is between the ages of twenty six and

709
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:31,319
Speaker 1: forty nine anyway, and they're not that quite either. So

710
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:33,200
Speaker 1: I'm just talking to my Now. If I had a

711
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:35,839
Speaker 1: bunch of fifteen year olds listening, I'd probably talking about

712
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:37,759
Speaker 1: how lit it was all the time. But I'm not,

713
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:42,560
Speaker 1: so I don't. I've never used that word except for making.

714
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:45,680
Speaker 1: Have you guys used to stand the word stand? Well,

715
00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:47,719
Speaker 1: I understand the concept of the eminem song. How do

716
00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:49,879
Speaker 1: you how do you use that in a sentence? Well?

717
00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:52,480
Speaker 1: So if okay, So I'm talking to my friend Charleman

718
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:55,080
Speaker 1: earlier today, and he's a radio host in New York,

719
00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:57,960
Speaker 1: and I'd be like, I wouldn't say this in normal life,

720
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:00,120
Speaker 1: but if I were to use stands, I say, hey,

721
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:02,480
Speaker 1: I saw someone that was posted on YouTube and they

722
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:05,479
Speaker 1: were standing you like crazy, like hardcore messaging, huge fan,

723
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:10,040
Speaker 1: like relentless, like obsess. Yeah, because Stand was an Eminem

724
00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:11,880
Speaker 1: song from back in the day, your biggest fan, this

725
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:15,239
Speaker 1: is stand. Oh, that's where it came from. I would assume, right, yeah, Oh,

726
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:18,600
Speaker 1: I thought it was like stalker fans stand. That's what

727
00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:24,319
Speaker 1: I thought. That's okay, just assumed it was imminent. Did

728
00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:29,759
Speaker 1: I make that up? It's from Eminem? Right, yeah, oh

729
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:31,360
Speaker 1: that makes sense. I wrote you this song, you know,

730
00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:33,799
Speaker 1: the biggest fan, this is Stand. And at the end

731
00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:35,919
Speaker 1: of this you ever heard the Eminem song Stand? Yeah? Okay,

732
00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:37,239
Speaker 1: at the end? What happens at the end of the song?

733
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:42,640
Speaker 1: I don't know, like drives cliff right dies, yeah, d

734
00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:48,799
Speaker 1: I have a very limited repertoire of popular songs like

735
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:51,280
Speaker 1: anything that happened in the nineties. I was only listening

736
00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:55,440
Speaker 1: to like country or oldies, so I don't know many

737
00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:57,359
Speaker 1: of the popular songs that other people know. That's why

738
00:36:57,360 --> 00:36:59,799
Speaker 1: when that happened at your show, I freaked out. Yeah, said, hey,

739
00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:01,520
Speaker 1: that's play cover. She came out because we know every

740
00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:04,080
Speaker 1: cover and I don't know anything. She didn't know any songs.

741
00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:07,000
Speaker 1: And then finally we settled on crazy that's fine, and

742
00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:08,960
Speaker 1: then it was really good and we did it the

743
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:11,279
Speaker 1: whole time. It's like, let's stop searching and you come

744
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:13,239
Speaker 1: out and crush it. And I said, Jillian, here's why

745
00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:14,680
Speaker 1: you come out and do the cover, because you sell

746
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:16,960
Speaker 1: more merch. You come out during our show. I loved it.

747
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:19,200
Speaker 1: You said that to me. You're like, just sell your merch,

748
00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:20,920
Speaker 1: you know. And I'm like, what do you mean. You're like,

749
00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:23,160
Speaker 1: tell everybody you're selling. I'm like, I feel weird about that.

750
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:25,640
Speaker 1: I don't want to talk about He's like, just tell

751
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:27,719
Speaker 1: them people want to buy it. I learned that though

752
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:29,960
Speaker 1: that You're right. It's I need to stop being so

753
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:33,000
Speaker 1: bashful about like I have stuff to sell. I I

754
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:35,680
Speaker 1: don't know why I felt weird about it and that

755
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:39,000
Speaker 1: people want to buy it. Yeah, I understand that now. Yeah,

756
00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:40,880
Speaker 1: And I was people enjoy you. They want to know

757
00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:42,200
Speaker 1: that you have stuff. They want to know that you're

758
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:45,120
Speaker 1: gonna be signing. Tell them yeah, and if they don't,

759
00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:46,960
Speaker 1: they'll walk by. They don't have to buy it, but

760
00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:50,520
Speaker 1: let them at least know. I think I can be

761
00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:57,520
Speaker 1: uh super like critical of other people um trying to

762
00:37:57,560 --> 00:38:01,160
Speaker 1: sell themselves, So I always am very aware and not

763
00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:03,200
Speaker 1: wanting to come off that way. I want people to

764
00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:07,880
Speaker 1: like just listen to the music. But yeah, yeah, interesting,

765
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:11,120
Speaker 1: who do I oversell myself? No, I'm not judging you.

766
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:13,959
Speaker 1: I think more so like artists like and I'm like, well,

767
00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:16,399
Speaker 1: you know, I want you to talk about your music.

768
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 1: I don't want you to talk about your merch. But

769
00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:20,360
Speaker 1: I'm kind of getting around that because I'm realizing that

770
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:22,320
Speaker 1: there's a lot of things in life I've been precious

771
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:24,399
Speaker 1: about that I don't need to be anymore. My point

772
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:26,399
Speaker 1: with the merch too, was one people want to buy

773
00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:28,520
Speaker 1: it if they enjoy you, that that's a moment for them.

774
00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:31,160
Speaker 1: Because I go to shows. I have a John Mayer

775
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:33,759
Speaker 1: sweatshirt of more at one time, but I freaking got

776
00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:36,200
Speaker 1: that from his show and I'm a big fan and

777
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:38,040
Speaker 1: I love it. I just love it in my closet.

778
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:40,640
Speaker 1: Reminds me of when I went to Minneapolis and watched

779
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:44,080
Speaker 1: him doing it his show. And also what people may

780
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:48,040
Speaker 1: not know is that you artists, that's part of how

781
00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:51,520
Speaker 1: you eat. Yeah, I mean it's how you play the bills,

782
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:53,759
Speaker 1: that's how you eat. Because again I just said earlier,

783
00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:55,560
Speaker 1: I paid you a thousand bucks a show, but let's

784
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:57,160
Speaker 1: say it's two thousand dollars for the weekend. You have

785
00:38:57,200 --> 00:39:00,759
Speaker 1: to travel. You're buying flights at three. See, this is

786
00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:03,840
Speaker 1: the stuff that I start to glassy. I got my

787
00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:07,560
Speaker 1: eyes for your guitar player. You gotta pay for hotel room.

788
00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:09,400
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to come out in the black, no,

789
00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:14,080
Speaker 1: you know. For I am like, I am very romantic

790
00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:16,200
Speaker 1: about my career a lot of the times, and I'm

791
00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:18,640
Speaker 1: thankful that I have people around me that do the

792
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:23,080
Speaker 1: other stuff, because I love the mystical, magical world of

793
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:26,440
Speaker 1: making music and I don't want to be totally desensitized

794
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:28,879
Speaker 1: by all the other stuff. On the on the other hand,

795
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:32,680
Speaker 1: I'm the most o c D type, a organized artist,

796
00:39:33,239 --> 00:39:35,239
Speaker 1: so I also get people telling me I need to

797
00:39:35,239 --> 00:39:37,600
Speaker 1: calm down and stop worrying about the little details. But

798
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:39,640
Speaker 1: there's a part of me that doesn't want to know

799
00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:42,560
Speaker 1: about like how the prices breakdown we rent the tour bus,

800
00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:45,560
Speaker 1: and how much more we sold and what the tickets are.

801
00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:48,440
Speaker 1: You know, that stuff starts to make me feel anxious,

802
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:51,360
Speaker 1: so because then I just want to think about playing

803
00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 1: the show. Well, it's also your job to hire good

804
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:56,440
Speaker 1: people who make which yeah, yeah, totally, which is what

805
00:39:56,600 --> 00:40:00,160
Speaker 1: I've been able to do. But I'm a schemer. I'm

806
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:02,680
Speaker 1: not trying to scheme anybody out of things. But if

807
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:05,080
Speaker 1: there's a way to manipulate media, I will do it.

808
00:40:05,560 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 1: I think that's smart. I wish I had that if

809
00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:10,400
Speaker 1: I don't think here's the difference to me in you

810
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:16,000
Speaker 1: you have a genuine talent. I scheme to find ways

811
00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:20,080
Speaker 1: to make people feel like I'm talented, right, I really

812
00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:23,759
Speaker 1: don't have. I don't really have anything about me that's

813
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:27,880
Speaker 1: like wow, Like I don't. I think you're an incredibly

814
00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:31,440
Speaker 1: engaging personality, but that's just me. Like, I think you're

815
00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:34,480
Speaker 1: interesting and your story is interesting. That's why you wrote

816
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:36,840
Speaker 1: a book about it. Yeah, but again, you have to

817
00:40:36,880 --> 00:40:41,680
Speaker 1: get really invested to get there. Okay. Yeah, my talent

818
00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:44,160
Speaker 1: is that I can make people feel like I mean,

819
00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:46,279
Speaker 1: you could be like Ellen, Like I could see you

820
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:49,719
Speaker 1: with your own like actual TV talk show. Well enough

821
00:40:49,760 --> 00:40:58,080
Speaker 1: about me, God, bless this mess. Enough? Oh I cannot.

822
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:01,480
Speaker 1: I don't want anyone pliment me or insulting me. Actually

823
00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:04,960
Speaker 1: we talked about this once. I hated to skin crawl. Don't. Well,

824
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:06,880
Speaker 1: that's not true. I don't like it in the moment.

825
00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:08,839
Speaker 1: I don't like receiving it. And then later I'm like, oh,

826
00:41:08,840 --> 00:41:10,680
Speaker 1: they said that about me. That was cool, Like you know,

827
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:13,640
Speaker 1: I kind of tuck it away to think about it later.

828
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,520
Speaker 1: That's cool. I should do that. You don't do that. No,

829
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:18,960
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what I do is I have pictures,

830
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:22,279
Speaker 1: like in my room. I have the first time that

831
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:24,080
Speaker 1: I sold out the Rheman, I keep that picture. I

832
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:25,880
Speaker 1: didn't enjoy it that not at all. It was miserable

833
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:29,360
Speaker 1: to man, because I kept thinking, how's this going to

834
00:41:29,560 --> 00:41:33,120
Speaker 1: fall apart the whole time. Yeah, I've done that over

835
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:34,880
Speaker 1: and you didn't enjoy it. But I have a picture

836
00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:37,840
Speaker 1: of me sitting on the stage looking at the before

837
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:39,960
Speaker 1: I came in. Yeah, I enjoyed that picture so much.

838
00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:42,520
Speaker 1: I love that picture. I don't know what that sounds

839
00:41:42,560 --> 00:41:48,200
Speaker 1: so sad. It's like the moment was miserable completely. My

840
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:52,000
Speaker 1: favorite theater is in Austin, Texas. The Paramount Theater went

841
00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:54,640
Speaker 1: to so many shows and I have a picture of

842
00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:57,800
Speaker 1: me the first stand up show I did at the Paramount.

843
00:41:57,840 --> 00:41:59,560
Speaker 1: It's sold out, and after the show was over, there's

844
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:01,759
Speaker 1: a stage and that's it, and someone got a picture

845
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:03,960
Speaker 1: of me sitting on the stage just looking at it,

846
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:06,160
Speaker 1: and I really it was just like, man, I wonder,

847
00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:09,440
Speaker 1: you know what they're reviewing me? Terrible, I'm sure, but

848
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:11,720
Speaker 1: it's okay. I was thinking that at the time, being miserable.

849
00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:13,400
Speaker 1: But they got a picture of me, and I enjoyed

850
00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:15,960
Speaker 1: that picture so much. Like I just try and have

851
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:19,120
Speaker 1: good pictures that I can appreciate later. I know, I'm

852
00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:21,520
Speaker 1: looking for new therapists by the way too. It's a

853
00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:27,239
Speaker 1: whole thing, but that's but I enjoy those pictures. I yeah, No,

854
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:29,799
Speaker 1: I have done that quite a few times where I

855
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:33,799
Speaker 1: have completely lived through a moment or you know, a

856
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:36,480
Speaker 1: situation in my life and just been so written with

857
00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:40,439
Speaker 1: anxiety and like depression to the whole thing. And then later,

858
00:42:41,320 --> 00:42:43,160
Speaker 1: you know, someone will like bring it up to me

859
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:46,160
Speaker 1: and and I'll somehow find like a sliver of goodness

860
00:42:46,239 --> 00:42:48,480
Speaker 1: in it. But it was torture, like the whole thing

861
00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:51,560
Speaker 1: going through it was just awful. But you know, as

862
00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:54,319
Speaker 1: I've gotten older, I've done that so many times that

863
00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:56,440
Speaker 1: now that I've gotten older. I'm like, stop doing that.

864
00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:59,759
Speaker 1: Don't don't waste your life being miserable. Like through the

865
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:03,040
Speaker 1: port and stuff. There was huge shows, like really exciting

866
00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:06,000
Speaker 1: shows that I remember. I was just the whole show

867
00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:08,760
Speaker 1: I'm playing and I'm thinking, these people hit me, nobody

868
00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:09,840
Speaker 1: likes it. Oh my god, why am I here? I

869
00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:11,839
Speaker 1: want to leave? And we just play like a whole

870
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:13,879
Speaker 1: set and then get off stage and everyone's like, great job,

871
00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:15,759
Speaker 1: and I'm like, no, it's warble. They're lying, They're lying.

872
00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:18,359
Speaker 1: I was convinced that it was the worst, and then

873
00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:20,280
Speaker 1: I'll see like a video back and be like, oh,

874
00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:25,400
Speaker 1: it wasn't that bad. Okay, everything's then you're doing the

875
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:32,439
Speaker 1: same thing. Yeah, I came back to this song. Also,

876
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:34,600
Speaker 1: I'd like to say this too. I think that when

877
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:36,640
Speaker 1: we start talking, we always get off onto something and

878
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:39,480
Speaker 1: we actually have a pret backup with always. But because

879
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:41,400
Speaker 1: of that, I really don't know much about you personally

880
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:44,520
Speaker 1: because we always start talking about nothing, and then minutes

881
00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:48,239
Speaker 1: later Jillian got to go on stage. So let's just

882
00:43:48,239 --> 00:43:51,800
Speaker 1: sit down and talking about the music for a second. Jillian, Jacqueline,

883
00:43:52,160 --> 00:43:55,440
Speaker 1: tell me about this God left it this mess song. Okay,

884
00:43:55,640 --> 00:43:58,440
Speaker 1: I like it a lot. Thank you. I like this

885
00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:03,160
Speaker 1: song too, this song is It was a surprise to

886
00:44:03,280 --> 00:44:06,879
Speaker 1: me this song. I was sort of turned off by

887
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:10,239
Speaker 1: the initial idea of the title. I thought it was

888
00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:12,359
Speaker 1: something that I would never be able to sell as

889
00:44:12,360 --> 00:44:15,160
Speaker 1: an artist because I don't go to church and I

890
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:18,040
Speaker 1: don't really pray that often, and I just didn't grow

891
00:44:18,120 --> 00:44:21,200
Speaker 1: up super religious, and so I just felt kind of

892
00:44:21,239 --> 00:44:23,919
Speaker 1: like it felt weird for me to sing a song

893
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:27,280
Speaker 1: called God Bless this Mess. But Tofur had the title

894
00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:30,200
Speaker 1: and he was like, we have to write this. This

895
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:31,840
Speaker 1: is gonna be great. And he knows that I'm a

896
00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:35,000
Speaker 1: basket case. He's my best friend and my producer. He

897
00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:38,000
Speaker 1: knows everything about me. I'm now marrying his brother. I mean,

898
00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:40,759
Speaker 1: we have a very long history. So he and I

899
00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:45,280
Speaker 1: were just talking about how I have gone through many

900
00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:50,000
Speaker 1: stages of my life in my career feeling very anxious

901
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:52,680
Speaker 1: about what's happening next and forgetting to be where I

902
00:44:52,719 --> 00:44:56,200
Speaker 1: am and kind of punishing myself for that and just

903
00:44:56,440 --> 00:44:59,799
Speaker 1: basically being like a downer when I didn't need to be.

904
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:02,680
Speaker 1: That's kind of been my my m O for for

905
00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:05,920
Speaker 1: quite a while. And so we were talking about just

906
00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:08,359
Speaker 1: how to embrace that and not judge yourself for it

907
00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:10,319
Speaker 1: and be like, yeah, I am kind of a mess

908
00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:12,960
Speaker 1: and I make mistakes and I waste a lot of

909
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:15,440
Speaker 1: time worrying about stuff and blah blah blah. So we

910
00:45:15,520 --> 00:45:18,839
Speaker 1: wrote the chorus at my dad's house, uh like right

911
00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:20,640
Speaker 1: before we're about to eat dinner. I was up there

912
00:45:20,680 --> 00:45:22,880
Speaker 1: in New York for a fundraiser, and so tofor was

913
00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:25,480
Speaker 1: with me to play the show with me, and so

914
00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:27,560
Speaker 1: he wrote the chorus and we really liked it, and

915
00:45:27,560 --> 00:45:29,839
Speaker 1: the melody was like done, we had it all figured out,

916
00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:32,160
Speaker 1: and then we wrote these verses that were sort of

917
00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:35,680
Speaker 1: like I I I like I do this and my

918
00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:38,280
Speaker 1: car just broke down and dine like real life stuff,

919
00:45:38,280 --> 00:45:41,120
Speaker 1: and it just got really heavy and really moby and

920
00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:42,839
Speaker 1: I was like, nobody wants to hear this. It's too

921
00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:46,319
Speaker 1: self indulgent. It's not working. And we were going up

922
00:45:46,360 --> 00:45:49,560
Speaker 1: to write with Laurie McKenna and Boston, like a couple

923
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:52,520
Speaker 1: of months from then. So we decided to bring her

924
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:54,520
Speaker 1: the chorus and scrap the verses we had, and we

925
00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:56,560
Speaker 1: brought it up there and played her the chorus, and

926
00:45:57,360 --> 00:46:02,360
Speaker 1: Laurie immediately said something. She said, here's to the Brokens,

927
00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:05,319
Speaker 1: the Misfits and wannabes, and I was like, what did

928
00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:06,800
Speaker 1: you just say? And she's like, well, what if we

929
00:46:06,920 --> 00:46:10,080
Speaker 1: just like make it sort of all inclusive, like all

930
00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:12,279
Speaker 1: of us that make our mistakes and that don't know

931
00:46:12,320 --> 00:46:14,760
Speaker 1: what we're doing. And I was like, that's really brilliant, okay,

932
00:46:15,080 --> 00:46:18,360
Speaker 1: And then the rest just fell out and there's you know,

933
00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:21,319
Speaker 1: there's tinges of truth in there, Like in the second verse,

934
00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:24,440
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, here's to the view from the

935
00:46:24,440 --> 00:46:26,759
Speaker 1: tile of the bathroom floor. And for me, that was

936
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:31,480
Speaker 1: a a very poignant lyric because I, um always sit

937
00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:33,680
Speaker 1: on the floor when I'm like going through like horrible

938
00:46:33,719 --> 00:46:35,080
Speaker 1: life moments. I don't know why. I just sit on

939
00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:38,000
Speaker 1: the floor when I'm crying, And and there have been

940
00:46:38,040 --> 00:46:40,160
Speaker 1: you know, there's like quarter life crisiss I would call

941
00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:41,759
Speaker 1: them where I would be on the bathroom floor and

942
00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:44,040
Speaker 1: just like what am I going to do next? Um?

943
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:46,640
Speaker 1: And that resonated with me a lot with my music career,

944
00:46:46,719 --> 00:46:48,920
Speaker 1: just a lot of moments where things didn't go the

945
00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:53,120
Speaker 1: way I thought they might. And so that song became

946
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:59,120
Speaker 1: sort of this like almost embarrassingly truthful UM story for me.

947
00:46:59,239 --> 00:47:02,239
Speaker 1: You know, the core it's just kind of felt like, oh, man, like,

948
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:05,040
Speaker 1: am I gonna admit that this is like about me?

949
00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:07,799
Speaker 1: And uh, I didn't really want to. So we pitched it.

950
00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:11,440
Speaker 1: We pitched it for other artists, and my publishing company

951
00:47:11,480 --> 00:47:13,759
Speaker 1: got it to Tim mcgrowan Faith Hill and they had

952
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:15,680
Speaker 1: it on hold for a year. So the whole time

953
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:17,200
Speaker 1: are you thinking they were going to cut it? Oh? Yeah,

954
00:47:17,239 --> 00:47:18,640
Speaker 1: for the whole year, I was like, Yeah, they're gonna

955
00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:22,520
Speaker 1: cut it and they'll be great. And I think, I

956
00:47:22,560 --> 00:47:23,880
Speaker 1: don't know if this is true, but I heard that

957
00:47:23,960 --> 00:47:25,920
Speaker 1: Cam had even heard it and she really liked it,

958
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:28,560
Speaker 1: so I was like, great, someone else will do it justice.

959
00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:30,919
Speaker 1: And then they didn't cut it, and or they cut

960
00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:32,480
Speaker 1: it but didn't put it on the record, I don't know.

961
00:47:33,280 --> 00:47:37,200
Speaker 1: And then I was in the studio and I was

962
00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:39,959
Speaker 1: making my my record right after I signed my record deal,

963
00:47:40,320 --> 00:47:43,520
Speaker 1: and my label just kept bringing that song up and

964
00:47:43,520 --> 00:47:45,360
Speaker 1: they're like, what about God bless this mess? You know,

965
00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:49,799
Speaker 1: it's this huge anthemic ballad, and I was fighting it

966
00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:52,960
Speaker 1: because I just I don't know something about it felt

967
00:47:53,160 --> 00:47:56,200
Speaker 1: like I didn't want to be preachy. And then we

968
00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:59,640
Speaker 1: ended up playing the song for the band The musicians

969
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:02,440
Speaker 1: who we had these incredible musicians, Tony Lucido and Derek

970
00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:06,120
Speaker 1: Wells and Fred altering him. And so we played them

971
00:48:06,320 --> 00:48:08,799
Speaker 1: the verse and the chorus of the song, and they

972
00:48:08,880 --> 00:48:11,520
Speaker 1: stopped us halfway through the first chorus and they were like, yeah,

973
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:13,719
Speaker 1: we were gonna we gotta cut this song. They just

974
00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:16,400
Speaker 1: loved it, and so we cut it and we tracked

975
00:48:16,440 --> 00:48:18,960
Speaker 1: the vocal that day. And and then as I was

976
00:48:18,960 --> 00:48:21,120
Speaker 1: listening to it back in the studio, I was hit

977
00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:25,400
Speaker 1: by this thought. I've been very careful and very like

978
00:48:25,480 --> 00:48:28,120
Speaker 1: strategic for most of my career, and I've thought that

979
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:31,640
Speaker 1: I've always been in control and always been making these

980
00:48:31,680 --> 00:48:34,280
Speaker 1: moves to try to get to the next step. And

981
00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:36,319
Speaker 1: and that song was playing in the studio and I

982
00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:39,160
Speaker 1: was listening to it back, and I was like feeling

983
00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:44,600
Speaker 1: so overwhelmed and sort of um like I would I

984
00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:46,840
Speaker 1: had been put in my place by that song, and

985
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:50,839
Speaker 1: I realized my album I wasn't going to dictate what

986
00:48:50,880 --> 00:48:53,760
Speaker 1: my album was that song and the songs that actually

987
00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:56,719
Speaker 1: told the truth, we're going to create who I am

988
00:48:56,800 --> 00:48:58,839
Speaker 1: as an artist. I think sometimes we get this idea

989
00:48:58,880 --> 00:49:00,520
Speaker 1: in our heads of oh, I'm this ind of artists

990
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:03,520
Speaker 1: and I sound like this, and then you have just

991
00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:06,719
Speaker 1: songs that come along and you're like, oh okay, like

992
00:49:06,880 --> 00:49:10,800
Speaker 1: it redefines it for you, and you you realize that, um,

993
00:49:10,840 --> 00:49:13,040
Speaker 1: you know, you can't really force something. You just have

994
00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:14,680
Speaker 1: to let it be what it is. And that song

995
00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:17,439
Speaker 1: was just sort of a bigger lesson for me, um

996
00:49:17,440 --> 00:49:24,640
Speaker 1: in just kind of being myself. I guess dissertation. Right,

997
00:49:24,640 --> 00:49:33,640
Speaker 1: there's good music school. Okay, I have a lot more

998
00:49:33,640 --> 00:49:36,279
Speaker 1: to talk about. I know we're before how long we

999
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:39,440
Speaker 1: into this? We should do a two parter. We've never

1000
00:49:41,560 --> 00:49:43,640
Speaker 1: gonna break this into two parts that way people can

1001
00:49:43,680 --> 00:49:47,160
Speaker 1: consume it. All right, So that's all for today. When

1002
00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:49,440
Speaker 1: we come back with you, by the way, stream download

1003
00:49:49,480 --> 00:49:54,840
Speaker 1: Jillian's record, uh SIDEA yes, yeah, and the next time

1004
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:57,399
Speaker 1: on the next episode The Bobby Cast. We've never done

1005
00:49:57,400 --> 00:50:00,279
Speaker 1: this before. Yeah, I've ever done two parts. I'm one.

1006
00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:03,080
Speaker 1: Jillian made a real diva demand before she got over

1007
00:50:03,080 --> 00:50:06,800
Speaker 1: to the house, which is where we are now. Yeah,

1008
00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:08,880
Speaker 1: we'll talk about that when we start the next episode

1009
00:50:08,880 --> 00:50:12,799
Speaker 1: of The Bobby Cast. Jillian, We'll see you next time. Alright, alright, bye,

1010
00:50:13,440 --> 00:50:14,000
Speaker 1: see you later.