Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hey, everybody,
Speaker 1: welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast, as you know,
Speaker 1: is all about the choices we make and where they
Speaker 1: lead us. Life is a way of presenting us with
Speaker 1: opportunities for growth and change. When we're faced with a
Speaker 1: new opportunity, we either make a safe, familiar choice, or
Speaker 1: maybe we see this opportunity as a place to make
Speaker 1: choices that propel us towards unfamiliar, uncertain places and experiences.
Speaker 1: I think it's in those risky choices where we find
Speaker 1: the most gorgeous and rewarding personal growth and Rea mention
Speaker 1: of ourselves. My guest today has taken some big and
Speaker 1: bold risks in her life. You know her from being
Speaker 1: the first ever bachelorette and from her podcast Almost Famous Ogs.
Speaker 1: She recently participated on the new season of Special Forces
Speaker 1: on Fox and spoiler alert, even though her time on
Speaker 1: the show has come to an end, I wanted to
Speaker 1: talk with her because this show is so extreme. I
Speaker 1: don't know how she did it. Please welcome Trista Sutter
Speaker 1: to the podcast. Hello Trista, Oh my gosh, I'm so excited.
Speaker 2: You don't even know how many dreams you are making
Speaker 2: come true with my college self. And honestly, I feel
Speaker 2: like I get you know when people tell you who
Speaker 2: you look like, you're a woman of the people. Get
Speaker 2: And I've always been like, thank you. That's such a
Speaker 2: huge compliment. So I really like that. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm also a fan of yours. Been watching you
Speaker 1: since you're on the Bachelor.
Speaker 2: That's a long time ago.
Speaker 1: That's a long time ago. Oh my god, you were
Speaker 1: the very first bachelorette, like you are the reason there
Speaker 1: is it's the Bachelor nation is so strong.
Speaker 2: Well, thank you for that. I don't know if I
Speaker 2: can take all the credit, but but yeah, I mean
Speaker 2: it's pretty crazy. But it's still going on, Like it
Speaker 2: really is pretty crazy.
Speaker 1: It really is.
Speaker 2: Get started. I just want to say I'm so sorry
Speaker 2: for everything that you and your family and your community
Speaker 2: are going through. It's just heartbreaking.
Speaker 1: Thank you. Yeah, it really is heartbreaking. Oh it's just yeah,
Speaker 1: but thank you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, I just I had to say it,
Speaker 2: but of course no. I was there actually on Tuesday,
Speaker 2: but when it all started. Yes, I was doing interviews
Speaker 2: at the Sunset Marquis Hotel and there was a fire
Speaker 2: right near our hotel, and then as I was leaving
Speaker 2: to go to the airport, like this huge plume of smoke.
Speaker 2: You could see it from far away on the four
Speaker 2: or five, and then from my plane, I actually took
Speaker 2: a video of the Palisade fire. I'm thankful that I
Speaker 2: got out when I did. But yeah, I just it's
Speaker 2: like all in comor, like it consumes you your mind,
Speaker 2: even if you don't live there, like I just my
Speaker 2: heart is breaking for.
Speaker 1: Lost me to me too. Just a first off, I
Speaker 1: need to know all about this experience that you are having.
Speaker 1: Let's talk about Special Forces, because for those of who
Speaker 1: haven't seen the show, it's an insane I choose me
Speaker 1: moment in itself just for doing this. It's like an
Speaker 1: intense boot camp environment. Where what were you thinking when
Speaker 1: you said yes to this?
Speaker 2: I mean, come on, no, I don't know if I
Speaker 2: was thinking actually right, So at first I actually said hell.
Speaker 1: No, okay, good response.
Speaker 2: Crazy, and then said, don't you want my husband? This
Speaker 2: is totally up his alley? Like he would thrive in
Speaker 2: this experience. I okay. So the more I thought about it,
Speaker 2: after I initially, you know, my gut reaction was to
Speaker 2: say no. I talked to my husband, talked to my family,
Speaker 2: and watched the previous seasons, and I felt like even
Speaker 2: though I was fifty one when we filmed, and you know,
Speaker 2: I'm not in the greatest shape of my life. I'm
Speaker 2: not like, you know, I'm not I'm not in horrible shape,
Speaker 2: but I'm not in the best shape. I'm somewhere in
Speaker 2: the middle.
Speaker 1: That's good. That's good to me.
Speaker 2: And I just felt like, you know, yeah, i might
Speaker 2: not be the strongest on the show, but I'm looking
Speaker 2: my purpose is it's all individual, right, So my purpose
Speaker 2: going into it was I dedicated my life to my
Speaker 2: family for almost eighteen years. My son, my oldest, is seventeen,
Speaker 2: so I look for opportunities to give back to myself
Speaker 2: and challenge myself. And with them leaving soon, you know,
Speaker 2: making me an empty nester with Ryan, I'm just really
Speaker 2: faced with this moment of And you have an older daughter, right,
Speaker 2: maybe two that are yeah, so.
Speaker 1: You know you know youngest is eighteen, so yeah, okay, yes.
Speaker 2: You know exactly. So I it's hard like when you
Speaker 2: when you've poured into your family and your kids for
Speaker 2: so long and it becomes your identity. I'm really trying
Speaker 2: to get back to the person I am without my kids,
Speaker 2: because not to take away from being a mom, it's
Speaker 2: my greatest, greatest joy and I wouldn't take back any
Speaker 2: of the time that I have given to my family
Speaker 2: and my kids. But now I'm kind of looking to
Speaker 2: the future and thinking, I really need to figure out
Speaker 2: who I'm going to be when they're gone. So that
Speaker 2: was my reason for doing it, and I'm really glad
Speaker 2: I did. I'm really grateful for it. Actually it's crazy,
Speaker 2: it's contense, but it was amazing.
Speaker 1: Okay, So yeah, this was, like I said before, the
Speaker 1: ultimate I Choose me moment for you is just like
Speaker 1: I need to figure out who I am and what
Speaker 1: I'm capable of again, because I can fully relate with
Speaker 1: You've given yourself all to your kids and your family,
Speaker 1: and when you do that, you do you spend some
Speaker 1: time thinking, well, what am I instead of that? Like
Speaker 1: what am I without that? Because you're about to be
Speaker 1: faced with a whole different kind of parenting And I
Speaker 1: think it's so intuitive of you too. Yeah, first have
Speaker 1: that negative reaction of like, uh no, thank you. I've
Speaker 1: got to be honest with you. They asked me to
Speaker 1: do the show on the first season. There was nothing
Speaker 1: for me to watch to like yet what it was like,
Speaker 1: and just from the description, I was like, yeah, that's
Speaker 1: a no for me. I'm sorry. I don't need to
Speaker 1: push myself like that anymore. I know. I know what
Speaker 1: I'm capable of, and I know what I'm not capable of.
Speaker 1: And I'm really not capable of leaping from a speedboat
Speaker 1: onto a helicopter. I do not know how you did
Speaker 1: these things. I just I want to know everything. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you guys are getting like pushed into freezing cold water,
Speaker 1: like I said, jumping from helicopters, you're bungee jumping off
Speaker 1: of the tall bridges. I've only seen the first two episodes,
Speaker 1: but oh my god, I'm on the edge of my
Speaker 1: seat for you and for all of the casts.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: Did you do anything to prepare yourself ahead of time?
Speaker 2: I tried. I talked to Hannah Brown, who was you know,
Speaker 2: on a Bachelorette and won the first season. And if
Speaker 2: you call it winning, like you know, she won for herself,
Speaker 2: but she made it to the end of the first season,
Speaker 2: and so I called her and she was like, as
Speaker 2: much hiking running you can do with a big, huge backpack,
Speaker 2: on your back and I wish I had done more.
Speaker 2: Is all I have to say, Like I did.
Speaker 1: You take her seriously or did you like I'm going
Speaker 1: to do this every day?
Speaker 2: I took her seriously. But I had back surgery lumbar fusion.
Speaker 2: I don't know, maybe like ten years ago. My back
Speaker 2: is way better than it was. I felt like a
Speaker 2: ninety year old. But after the surgery, I always say,
Speaker 2: I wish I had had it sooner. Well, they the
Speaker 2: medical you know, they have to clear you medically, and
Speaker 2: the medical team wasn't going to clear me. And they
Speaker 2: told me, sorry, we can't have you on the show
Speaker 2: because we can't clear you. And I was like, I'm sorry,
Speaker 2: but Jack Osborne was on it with multiple sclerosis, like
Speaker 2: you know, people had previous injuries, right, And so I
Speaker 2: was like, well, why don't you let me make that
Speaker 2: decision for myself and leave when I feel like I can't?
Speaker 2: But why like exclude me from doing it when it's
Speaker 2: just because I've had surgery. And they were like, well,
Speaker 2: we don't know how you're going to be being pushed
Speaker 2: off a boat now. Is anyone gonna be okay being
Speaker 2: pushed off or does.
Speaker 1: Anybody know how let's see, how did I act last
Speaker 1: time I got pushed off a speedboat exactly.
Speaker 2: So while I was working through that with the medical
Speaker 2: team and the producers, I am super superstitious, and I thought,
Speaker 2: I'm going to jinx myself if I keep working out.
Speaker 2: So I've freaking stopped. I mean, and I knew like
Speaker 2: three months before they asked me like three months before.
Speaker 2: Had I continued and done it every day like I
Speaker 2: should have, I would have been an amazing shape. But
Speaker 2: didn't I know it. It bothers me. I wish I
Speaker 2: would could have, because what you don't see on the
Speaker 2: show is in between the tasks and the accommodations where
Speaker 2: we're sleeping or like the first day when we started
Speaker 2: at that, like off the boat getting pushed off the boat.
Speaker 2: You run everywhere, you run all the time, and you're
Speaker 2: running with a massive military rucksack backpack that has to
Speaker 2: be filled to fifteen kilograms, which is like I think
Speaker 2: it ends up being like thirty five pounds or something
Speaker 2: like that. So if your pack isn't thirty five pounds,
Speaker 2: then you have to fill it with sand until it's
Speaker 2: thirty five pounds and carry that everywhere you go. In
Speaker 2: between and I don't know. I just feel like I
Speaker 2: don't like to burden other people. I didn't want to
Speaker 2: be a burden to people. And they're helping me carry
Speaker 2: my you can see. And when we got to the bridge,
Speaker 2: you see Golden carrying a backpack on the front of
Speaker 2: his body and his back that front backpack was mine.
Speaker 2: So thank God for my angels. But I just I
Speaker 2: didn't want to be a burden, you know. So I
Speaker 2: really wish that I had trained more.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I can't even run to the corner, Like running
Speaker 1: with no backpack is just like not a thing I
Speaker 1: can do anymore. Unfortunately, before you accepted this job or experience,
Speaker 1: whatever you want to call it, were you like in
Speaker 1: the mindset of choosing yourself or how would you have
Speaker 1: just described yourself like before this?
Speaker 2: Before this, I was like, yes, occasionally choosing myself. But
Speaker 2: I'm still in it. I mean, my daughter doesn't drive yet,
Speaker 2: so I am still like her, you know, essentially her
Speaker 2: chauffeur and set her and you know, all those things.
Speaker 2: So I'm still in it really with my with my
Speaker 2: kids and just looking forward, looking forward to the time
Speaker 2: when they're going to be gone, because I have a
Speaker 2: lot of friends who are going, you know, through that
Speaker 2: and becoming empty nesters. But so I'm still in it
Speaker 2: and maybe not choosing myself as much as hopefully after
Speaker 2: they're gone. But but yeah, that's kind of where my
Speaker 2: mind was.
Speaker 1: Since you did have the privilege of watching like the
Speaker 1: seasons before, how did you were you terrified? How did
Speaker 1: you mentally prepare yourself? Were you like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I said yes to this like a couple of weeks ago,
Speaker 1: I'm changing my mind. I don't want to do it,
Speaker 1: Like I can imagine I would have been like freaking
Speaker 1: out and be like, no, I'm not sorry, pulling out
Speaker 1: not doing it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there was you know, actually no, I take that back.
Speaker 2: I feel like once I committed, I was committed. It
Speaker 2: was just waiting for my clearance to come through. I
Speaker 2: was actually excited. You know, I've had some pretty crazy
Speaker 2: ones in a lifetime. Opportunities like this is not people
Speaker 2: can pay for, you know, like you don't just go
Speaker 2: to the special courses and be like, hey, can you
Speaker 2: put me through base camp boot camp? You know? So
Speaker 2: I feel really lucky that I got asked, and I
Speaker 2: really wanted to take it seriously and and make my
Speaker 2: kids proud, make my husband proud, make myself proud, make
Speaker 2: my family proud. You know, so, no, I was. I
Speaker 2: was definitely committed once I committed.
Speaker 1: M hmm. What was that like, having to leave your
Speaker 1: family and go I don't even know where you filmed
Speaker 1: that where you have to go far away? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, we filmed in Wales, so I London. Yeah, it
Speaker 2: was far and it was when my kids were still
Speaker 2: in school, so they were going through finals. So well,
Speaker 2: that was really hard because you know, I wanted to
Speaker 2: be here to help them through that those last couple
Speaker 2: of weeks of school. And of course they take away
Speaker 2: your phone once you start filming, so that was difficult.
Speaker 2: But I will say that's also another I Choose me moment,
Speaker 2: is just knowing that I wasn't going to have access
Speaker 2: to my family and vice versa, and saying, you know what,
Speaker 2: I'm going to choose me in this moment and really
Speaker 2: stay committed to the show and do what I need
Speaker 2: to do. And this is one of the things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, because you said you didn't have your phone,
Speaker 1: was there a feeling of like isolation or just like
Speaker 1: complete disconnect from because you're so I would imagine in
Speaker 1: that environment. You have to just fully jump in and
Speaker 1: be consumed by it all the time.
Speaker 2: You do, you do. I think that's how you probably
Speaker 2: survive is you really just have to stay committed and
Speaker 2: remembering your why and your purpose being there. That I
Speaker 2: think is a big part of the mental preparation is
Speaker 2: just really committing, you know, and not lying to yourself,
Speaker 2: you know, like really being honest with yourself for why
Speaker 2: you're doing it and giving it your all. Because it's
Speaker 2: very similar in that way to the Bachelor and Bachelorette.
Speaker 2: You really have to just give in emotionally to the
Speaker 2: experience because you can't get out of it anything if
Speaker 2: you don't fully you know, commit to the experience and
Speaker 2: truthfully be yourself, right right.
Speaker 1: I think that's the case with any experience, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, totally. I agree, any relationship, any experience. Yeah, you
Speaker 2: gotta agree. Just dive in, yep, and I did. Or
Speaker 2: I got pushed in, but you didn't die.
Speaker 1: You got pushed in. I was like, ouch my neck.
Speaker 1: I would have come up and come been like, you're
Speaker 1: I have whiplash. You seem to get pretty close with
Speaker 1: some of your fellow castmates. Who would you say you
Speaker 1: were closest with and who did you rely on the most.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so, like I mentioned my angels as as it
Speaker 2: showed in the last part of that, well, they're calling
Speaker 2: it the second episode, the second hour of the first episode,
Speaker 2: however you want to look at it. And after the beach,
Speaker 2: which was like the surf emrgin where you're linked up
Speaker 2: and you're you know, essentially drowning yourself, I got back
Speaker 2: to the vehicle and I went through. They didn't show
Speaker 2: much of it, but I went through. I believe hypothermia.
Speaker 2: Took a while for the medics to get to me,
Speaker 2: but I was I could not move my head, I
Speaker 2: couldn't lift my head. My jaw was locked. I was
Speaker 2: in like lockjaw, if that's what you call it, and
Speaker 2: shivering like uncontrollably. And Christy Carlson, Romano and Cam were
Speaker 2: in my vehicle and they scooped me up and put
Speaker 2: me on their lap and mind you were all wet,
Speaker 2: you know, I think, Yeah, I was still wet at
Speaker 2: the time, and they scooped me up and like just
Speaker 2: kept me close to them for body body heat and
Speaker 2: then piled everyone's coats and stuff on top of me.
Speaker 2: So they are definitely two of my angels that kind
Speaker 2: of took care of me, and I bonded with them
Speaker 2: because of that. And then Golden was one of those
Speaker 2: people too, like always looking to help. And then you know, Ali,
Speaker 2: I've known for years and years, so to be able
Speaker 2: to be there with somebody that I already called a
Speaker 2: friend was awesome, and she was really there for me
Speaker 2: when I was going through that hypothermia. Once I got
Speaker 2: back to the accommodations, but Denise Richards and I really bonded.
Speaker 2: I loved the entire group, like they're good people, which
Speaker 2: is odd, you know, not odd that they're good people,
Speaker 2: odd that you know, there's so many people, and I
Speaker 2: felt like everyone was a great person. So we feel
Speaker 2: like we got lucky. You know.
Speaker 1: It's like a big group of people you would never
Speaker 1: expect to have together and they're all so completely different.
Speaker 1: I can imagine like going into that on just being
Speaker 1: open and getting to know these people from a different perspective,
Speaker 1: you know, like you had that you all are in
Speaker 1: the same boat. I'm sure it was so bonding.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was. I Mean, when you go through anything
Speaker 2: challenging or away from your family, away from your normal life,
Speaker 2: with you know, other people, you definitely bond if you're
Speaker 2: willing to. You know, I'm sure there's people who go
Speaker 2: into this kind of experience that are just like, you
Speaker 2: know what, I'm here for myself and I'm just gonna
Speaker 2: I'm just going to do it for myself. But I
Speaker 2: feel like that was one of the big takeaways that
Speaker 2: I wanted to take away, And also what I'm so
Speaker 2: grateful for now is just having the camaraderie of the
Speaker 2: rest of the recruit.
Speaker 1: I know when you went away to do this, there
Speaker 1: was a big hubbabaloo on the Internet about some messages
Speaker 1: your husband put out there that they were cryptic, and
Speaker 1: people were like, oh my god, are they breaking up?
Speaker 1: And I was very scared that that was happening, because
Speaker 1: you two are like a couple goals, Like I just
Speaker 1: think you're such an awesome pair together. But what happened
Speaker 1: with that?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah. So if you look back on it,
Speaker 2: and I read it on my podcast with Bob Guiney,
Speaker 2: I do a it's called almost Famous Oje's and we
Speaker 2: talked about it, and I read the post that Ryan posted,
Speaker 2: and now it makes complete sense if you go back
Speaker 2: and you know that I'm in Wales filming this show,
Speaker 2: but of course I couldn't talk about it because they
Speaker 2: have you, you know, dialed into secret. You just can't.
Speaker 2: And so I was just away filming the show. My
Speaker 2: husband was being really sweet and kind of shouting it
Speaker 2: from the rooftops via Instagram, and you know, it was
Speaker 2: it was shocking to me, actually, because we've been married
Speaker 2: twenty one years, right, and it's been a long time,
Speaker 2: and it is really sweet that people actually cared. You know,
Speaker 2: most of the time they don't care, and Ryan will post,
Speaker 2: you know, sweet things, or I'll post something or whatever,
Speaker 2: and most of the time it just kind of you know,
Speaker 2: our normal numbers whatever of people who liked it or
Speaker 2: commented or reached out and said, you know, happy anniversary,
Speaker 2: your happy birthday or what, you know, whatever. But the
Speaker 2: fact that it like all the news outlets were talking
Speaker 2: about it all everyone was talking about it, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, people have lost their minds. But they're
Speaker 2: really sweet for losing their minds.
Speaker 1: That's so crazy. Yeah, I always think when something goes
Speaker 1: viral or is lifted out of something, I'm like, wow,
Speaker 1: must be a slow news day, because they wanted to
Speaker 1: talk about this, but I stopped realizing that it's of
Speaker 1: interest to other people because you're just living your life
Speaker 1: and you're just having a marriage and a family. All
Speaker 1: of a sudden you're in the news and it's like controversial.
Speaker 1: I can imagine that would have thrown.
Speaker 2: She having a nervous breakdown? Are they divorcing? Oh my gosh,
Speaker 2: Like I mean, I had so many of my friends
Speaker 2: from college, from high school, from you know, life here
Speaker 2: in Colorado writing me, are you okay? What's going on?
Speaker 1: I'm fine.
Speaker 2: I'm just over in Wills almost probably having a nervous
Speaker 2: breakdown from the show. But you know, you know, they
Speaker 2: didn't show a lot of what I did, which was
Speaker 2: like frustrating for me because I'm like, I do want
Speaker 2: to show my kids that I actually did jump off
Speaker 2: the rich you know, and and how well I did
Speaker 2: at the end. I actually failed that one because I
Speaker 2: made noise.
Speaker 1: That was like a good call on their part. I
Speaker 1: think that was a little rough. Well, if you jump
Speaker 1: off a thing like that and your body's like like slammed,
Speaker 1: you get whiplash, Like of course you're going to make
Speaker 1: a noise like h or something.
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know if they have superpowers, they
Speaker 2: pretty much do the DS. But they're like, you're an
Speaker 2: enemy territory. This is your mission. You're an enemy territory.
Speaker 2: You cannot make a noise or else they're going to
Speaker 2: hear you. And totally understand that and respect that. But
Speaker 2: what I had a problem with is Nathan Adrian did it.
Speaker 2: I think he went first or second. He went pretty
Speaker 2: early and I was second to last. And I remember
Speaker 2: him making like a grunt, like a noise when he
Speaker 2: when the bungeee like hit, you know, And I was like,
Speaker 2: but he passed, So why do I pass?
Speaker 1: I know, I felt like, you're right, that rule kind
Speaker 1: of came on slow and then took everybody out. Basically,
Speaker 1: I know, I got a fail for everybody.
Speaker 2: Oh and then the boat. They didn't show me on
Speaker 2: the helicopter either, like jumping to the helicopter. And it's
Speaker 2: so funny. I was watching with my family like two
Speaker 2: nights ago. Finally we got you know, all in the
Speaker 2: same house at the same time so we could watch together.
Speaker 2: And they were like, wait, why is the helicopter so
Speaker 2: close for some people and so far away for some people?
Speaker 2: Like Stephen Baldwin. All he had to do was go
Speaker 2: like this, like literally that far, you know, poor guy.
Speaker 1: He was so excited and he made it.
Speaker 2: He did awesome, I mean awesome, but it was so close.
Speaker 2: And then like Nathan Adrian is six six and he
Speaker 2: still didn't make it, and he jumped pretty high. So
Speaker 2: that shows you, like, obviously, I mean, it's a helicopter, right,
Speaker 2: so they try to get as close as they can
Speaker 2: to the boat and they know what they're doing, but
Speaker 2: it's just not like a perfect science. So mine was
Speaker 2: pretty far away, and I had the fear in the
Speaker 2: back of my mind that Foxy tells you when you
Speaker 2: get onto the boat, if you don't jump by the
Speaker 2: time we need you to jump, then I'm pushing you
Speaker 2: in the water from a moving speedboat. And so that's
Speaker 2: all I could think was like, Okay, they're telling me
Speaker 2: to go, and maybe I should wait for the helicopter
Speaker 2: to get closer, but I don't want I don't want
Speaker 2: him pushing me off this boat like as we're going
Speaker 2: really fast, you know.
Speaker 1: So anyway, complete madness.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is. It was crazy intent.
Speaker 1: I'm still thrilled by the idea that you like, you
Speaker 1: were away and then you had this crazy, wild life
Speaker 1: changing experience and and then you come back and you
Speaker 1: can't tell your best friend, or you can probably tell
Speaker 1: your husband because you know he's not gonna tell them.
Speaker 1: Not to tell anyoney one. But like you can't tell
Speaker 1: anybody where you were, what you just experienced, or like
Speaker 1: how it transformed you totally.
Speaker 2: You have to wait, and you know, you just sign
Speaker 2: your life away and you also signed that you have
Speaker 2: to keep everything in secret. And it's not my first
Speaker 2: rodeo when it comes to that. You know, like I
Speaker 2: I remember signing the contract for Bachelor and they were like, Okay,
Speaker 2: well if you tell anybody, then we're going to see
Speaker 2: you five million dollars. I'm like, good luck with that,
Speaker 2: because I don't have it. Yeah, but it's like, you know,
Speaker 2: the fear, the fear of God or the fear of
Speaker 2: lawyers are put into you and you're like, okay, well
Speaker 2: guys have it Zip Phillips.
Speaker 1: Yeah, how would you say as a wife, as a mother,
Speaker 1: this experience sort of changed you or maybe changed even
Speaker 1: your approach on life moving forward.
Speaker 2: You know, I know that I can do hard things,
Speaker 2: you know when you said in the beginning, I know
Speaker 2: what I can do and I know what I can't do.
Speaker 2: And this is one of those things I can't do.
Speaker 2: While I wanted to just challenge myself. If you had
Speaker 2: told me six months ago that I would be bungee
Speaker 2: jumping off of a one hundred and thirty foot bridge
Speaker 2: in the middle of Wales, I would have said, you're crazy.
Speaker 2: There's no way I'm.
Speaker 1: Still gonna say it. You're crazy.
Speaker 2: I am. I am, and I am so proud of
Speaker 2: myself that I did that. I treaded water for fifteen minutes,
Speaker 2: you know, like that's not something that I do on
Speaker 2: a daily basis. So I am just proud. I'm proud
Speaker 2: of myself. I walk away from the experience thinking, you
Speaker 2: know what, you should be proud of yourself. You did
Speaker 2: really hard things and you survived and lived to tail
Speaker 2: the tail Yeah, by god.
Speaker 1: I would, Yeah, I would. I would imagine a sense
Speaker 1: of some sort of affirmative feeling in my either ability
Speaker 1: to do hard things or my just even being risky,
Speaker 1: you know, in that way it didn't make those choices.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, And that's that's kind of normal life
Speaker 2: for me too, is being not risky. You know, I
Speaker 2: played pickleball and majong and like it's everywhere, and yeah,
Speaker 2: those are not risky things, So I'm not usually that
Speaker 2: risk taker. I never really have been. I've been an athlete,
Speaker 2: but I haven't been a risk taker. The biggest risk
Speaker 2: I feel like I did before this was rock climbing,
Speaker 2: and I was terrified of that. But actually I kept
Speaker 2: saying during the bridge that I wasn't as scared because
Speaker 2: I had been rock climbing and the heights weren't as
Speaker 2: much of a fear for me as they had been
Speaker 2: in the past. So you never know. I mean, I
Speaker 2: feel like it's really a great feeling when you challenge
Speaker 2: yourself and you, you know, are able to surprise yourself
Speaker 2: and succeed, and that just fills your bucket, you know,
Speaker 2: it fills that like the bucket of the insecurities that
Speaker 2: I feel like all of us carry, for maybe most
Speaker 2: of us, maybe some people don't have any, but I
Speaker 2: sure do. And I you know, I loved being able
Speaker 2: to give myself that sense of pride that I can
Speaker 2: do hardly.
Speaker 1: I love that For you. Do you miss the adrenaline
Speaker 1: of it all? Do you miss jumping out of boats
Speaker 1: and jumping off bridges? Do you miss sleeping on a cot?
Speaker 2: Oh? I sure don't know.
Speaker 1: Do you miss having someone shout in your face like that,
Speaker 1: for me, I will be like, Okay, this is my
Speaker 1: personal space and this is your personal space. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: have been able to handle the shouting.
Speaker 2: It's really hard. It's very hard. But what I realized,
Speaker 2: I think maybe even before we started filming, was I
Speaker 2: think that the whole and I interviewed you, Who's the
Speaker 2: guy who was yelling at me as I'm leaving the beach.
Speaker 2: He's the Navy beal. I interviewed him yesterday for my podcast,
Speaker 2: and that was really actually kind of like a little
Speaker 2: full circle moment. But I've realized that we all, like
Speaker 2: I just said, the insecurities, like you hear me talking
Speaker 2: on the trailer about the devil and the angel on
Speaker 2: my shoulder right.
Speaker 1: And.
Speaker 2: I feel like when you all of us are going
Speaker 2: to tell there's this inner dialogue right when you're doing
Speaker 2: something new, if you're not doing well, you're like, you
Speaker 2: shouldn't be here, you need to go home, you don't
Speaker 2: deserve to be here. You're too old, you're too out
Speaker 2: of shape, like you know, you're not enough, essentially, And
Speaker 2: I feel like the reason that the directing staff yell
Speaker 2: or the military when they're putting people through basic training.
Speaker 2: Is they know that you're telling yourself this in your head.
Speaker 2: It's just a human I feel like it's a human thing, right,
Speaker 2: And so if you're telling yourself, you're going to believe
Speaker 2: what your inner dialogue is telling you. But if somebody
Speaker 2: else says it, then you want to prove them wrong.
Speaker 2: You want to be like through off, I deserve to
Speaker 2: be here. I'm not ready to go home. I know
Speaker 2: everyone's waiting for me, but they're really nice people, and
Speaker 2: they're going to continue to wait for me, you know
Speaker 2: what I mean. So, like, I feel like there's a
Speaker 2: reason that they do it. They also want to like
Speaker 2: break us down so they can build us up and
Speaker 2: show us that we can do hard things and we
Speaker 2: should believe in ourselves. It is really hard to take, though,
Speaker 2: but I think you know me to that realization at least,
Speaker 2: you know. I don't know if that's reality, but that
Speaker 2: was kind of my my rationale for why they do it,
Speaker 2: and that helped me deal with.
Speaker 1: The yelling what did you guys eat? I'm so curious
Speaker 1: about all the details?
Speaker 2: Do you know what's funny? I have the worst memory,
Speaker 2: and oh, Jenny, I feel like I'm like, Okay, I
Speaker 2: need to go to the doctor because do I have
Speaker 2: Alzheimer's or a brain tumor or something, because this is
Speaker 2: not normal.
Speaker 1: It's probably just a perimenopause for you.
Speaker 2: Oh, it's sure, it is for sure. Along with just
Speaker 2: I've always had a bad memory, but it's gotten way worse.
Speaker 1: I know, it's kind of scary.
Speaker 2: It's very scary. So the details like that, I don't
Speaker 2: actually remember a lot of what we ate. I know,
Speaker 2: one day it was like pasta, you know, like they
Speaker 2: do cook for us, and in the vehicles they gave
Speaker 2: us snacks. Those snacks were like yogurt, a sandwich, an orange,
Speaker 2: like healthy nola bar. Yeah, but they stopped giving it
Speaker 2: to us. I remember Cam. He was so frustrated because
Speaker 2: he's giant.
Speaker 1: He needs food, he needs galleries, he needs.
Speaker 2: Food, and he's a vegan and they were giving him
Speaker 2: like not vegan stuff and he was just like, I
Speaker 2: need food. You guys am not gonna last. So yeah,
Speaker 2: the food, you know, it's it leaves a lot to
Speaker 2: be desired. But you're it's not like I expected good food,
Speaker 2: you know, I wasn't expecting.
Speaker 1: Where's the caterer, where's craft service?
Speaker 2: Please? And actually Denise said that like I was, I
Speaker 2: was wondering when we would get our break and we
Speaker 2: could go to craft services. Oh, bless her heart.
Speaker 1: She did a great job. She was like, I knew
Speaker 1: I'd be the first one to go.
Speaker 2: She was so scared. She did not want to look like, uh,
Speaker 2: you know, the weakling that goes first. But yeah, she
Speaker 2: was not weak at all. I feel like she didn't watch.
Speaker 2: I interviewed her too, and we've talked. When I was
Speaker 2: in LA, we did press together and she was like,
Speaker 2: I'm not going to watch. I don't like watching myself,
Speaker 2: And so I texted her and I'm like, you look
Speaker 2: really vulnerable and relatable, and I think that came across beautifully,
Speaker 2: like you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I feel
Speaker 2: like she had a lot of injuries and she's talked
Speaker 2: about them, you know, openly now. But she was dealing
Speaker 2: with a lot. We all were. And you know it's
Speaker 2: if people leave early, you know, then don't get to
Speaker 2: the end. That's okay, that's just their path. So yeah,
Speaker 2: she did great.
Speaker 1: What is next for you? Like, what big giant risk
Speaker 1: you're going to take next? First, the risked taking a
Speaker 1: risk on love a long time ago.
Speaker 2: I haven't looked at it like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're a risk taker.
Speaker 2: Ah, I didn't know that. I mean, actually, like I'm not,
Speaker 2: but that's true. I mean, even like we did Celebrity
Speaker 2: Marriage boot Camp and that was a whole crazy experience.
Speaker 2: Dancing with the Stars was not se Look, it wasn't
Speaker 2: even a show, you know. I just was like, okay,
Speaker 2: well sure, sign me up.
Speaker 1: I wait, what season did you do of Dancing with
Speaker 1: the Stars?
Speaker 2: Number one?
Speaker 1: The very first one? Oh my gosh, I remember because
Speaker 1: they sent out those mailers and you opened it and
Speaker 1: it was like a twirling dancer. Do you remember, Like
Speaker 1: I was mesmerized by it. It was like a dance ball
Speaker 1: thingy whatever that's called disco ball. I like a twhirling
Speaker 1: dancer When you opened it was a great media thing.
Speaker 1: Well yeah, wow, you see you are a trailblazer and
Speaker 1: a risk taker. Did you ever forget that.
Speaker 2: You were on Stars? Right?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Season five?
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, you were an OG two. I love it.
Speaker 2: It was a great experience. I don't it's not as
Speaker 2: risky that you know, although it is like performing live
Speaker 2: on stage in front of a national audience, so that's
Speaker 2: a little crazy.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's it's equal like equally death defying to some
Speaker 1: of us who don't like doing that kind of thing.
Speaker 2: That's so true, It is true. Next, I feel like
Speaker 2: I really just have to get through to the finish
Speaker 2: line of you know, getting my kids off to college
Speaker 2: or whatever they're going to do after high school. I
Speaker 2: you know, that's my biggest goal in life, is just
Speaker 2: helping them succeed and be happy. And so right now
Speaker 2: it's just kind of revolved around that I continue to
Speaker 2: do my podcast and and just you know, work with
Speaker 2: companies that I feel like are authentic to who I am,
Speaker 2: and you know, happily promote them via social media, and
Speaker 2: then just hope that in two years or howeur many
Speaker 2: is left when my kids are gone, that I can
Speaker 2: I can figure out how, you know, how to truly
Speaker 2: continue to get back to me and enjoy my life
Speaker 2: with Ryan after they're run.
Speaker 1: Oh, your husband is a risk taker too, He's a fireman, right.
Speaker 2: Very yes, it's it's who he is at his core,
Speaker 2: like running in when everyone else is running out, that
Speaker 2: that's him. So yes, big time. He's always been a
Speaker 2: huge risk taker and I look up to that. And
Speaker 2: actually that was that was also part of the reason
Speaker 2: that I did the show is you know, they were
Speaker 2: asking me when I thought they should be asking him,
Speaker 2: and I wanted to have him kind of live vicariously
Speaker 2: through me until they get him on the sho show.
Speaker 2: I'm pushing Fox, like, get right on the show. He
Speaker 2: needs to do it next.
Speaker 1: He'd be so great too, he would be so great.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, it seems like with all that you've learned
Speaker 1: about yourself in this new confidence that you always had,
Speaker 1: but you kind of had to rekindle and get back
Speaker 1: in touch with you know, I know what it's like
Speaker 1: when you're a mom and you you give it all away.
Speaker 1: And I'm so happy that you were able to find
Speaker 1: that light inside of you and just let it burn
Speaker 1: because you did a very risky thing. And uh, you
Speaker 1: should be so proud of yourself.
Speaker 2: Thank you. I am. I'm proud. I even you know,
Speaker 2: we had like a little reunion with all the recruits
Speaker 2: and the would you would you do it again? And
Speaker 2: and I actually raised my hand. I know, I'm a
Speaker 2: Looney Tunes, but because it kind of they were once
Speaker 2: in a lifetime. You don't normally get to like put
Speaker 2: yourself through these challenges and and learn more about yourself,
Speaker 2: especially when I'm fifty two, you know, don't You don't
Speaker 2: get those chances unless you really do, you know, take
Speaker 2: some risks. So I just thought, you know, yeah, sure
Speaker 2: I would do it again. Maybe I would rethink it
Speaker 2: if I knew where the location was and I was
Speaker 2: freezing cold, because that would definitely be a crux for me.
Speaker 2: But but yeah, it was. It was a really cool experience.
Speaker 2: And I'm so glad you're watching.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've been a fan of the show since day one.
Speaker 1: More just like in awe of like what is happening
Speaker 1: right now? Are these people out of their minds? Like
Speaker 1: That's what I'm thinking the whole time I'm watching it.
Speaker 2: Ah, we are a little bit. But if they asked
Speaker 2: you for next season, would you say yes?
Speaker 1: No? What part of that didn't you understand? No? I
Speaker 1: will not do that. Also, I don't think I could
Speaker 1: physically do that anymore with my I have two fake hips,
Speaker 1: so I can't imagine even being that cold, or you know,
Speaker 1: just be pushing myself to the point I just as
Speaker 1: I've gotten older, I just don't push my body further
Speaker 1: than I think I should. You know, I have to
Speaker 1: listen to my body so much more.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's good, that's I mean.
Speaker 1: But the person inside me would love to make the
Speaker 1: do that, you know I am. I love a challenge,
Speaker 1: I love a risk like that. So the person inside
Speaker 1: of me would be like, oh, I really kind of
Speaker 1: want to do it. But then I would think about
Speaker 1: the physical aspects of it, and I just don't think
Speaker 1: I could.
Speaker 2: Yeah you could, though, honestly you could. You'd be surprised
Speaker 2: at the kind of things that you can do. But hey,
Speaker 2: if you know that, you're like, nope, and your gut's
Speaker 2: telling you that, Like I actually went into it. So
Speaker 2: I don't know if you believe in angel numbers, but.
Speaker 1: I it was an angels. What's an angel number?
Speaker 2: Angel numbers are like I would be really bad at
Speaker 2: giving the other official definition, but the gist of it
Speaker 2: is if you see like a number over and over
Speaker 2: and over again, or like you see a number pop
Speaker 2: up and you're having a particularly hard day or whatever,
Speaker 2: it's a way for your guardian angels to reach out
Speaker 2: to you and say it's okay, I've got you. Kind
Speaker 2: of kind of thing, you know, totally totally. And so
Speaker 2: I saw four forty four when before I was about
Speaker 2: to turn my phone off. I feel like maybe it
Speaker 2: was four forty four in the morning, and and I
Speaker 2: immediately looked up what four forty four meant, and it
Speaker 2: said something about how your guardian angels are with you.
Speaker 2: They they've got your back, you know, they're watching over
Speaker 2: to you. And so I went into the experience with
Speaker 2: a kind of peace in a way of thinking, I
Speaker 2: believing this that that God and you know, my guardian
Speaker 2: angels are watching over me. And maybe that also helped
Speaker 2: me too, you know, to not be quite as fearful
Speaker 2: knowing they they were watching over me. You know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I totally believe in angels and angel numbers. I
Speaker 1: guess that's what you call them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, go look at look at at that. It's actually
Speaker 2: kind of cool.
Speaker 1: Did you have your angels visiting you while you were there,
Speaker 1: like pushing you or getting reassurance?
Speaker 2: I did, And it's so it's so powerful to me
Speaker 2: if you can tap into that kind of thing, that
Speaker 2: kind of belief. You know, I haven't lost my parents,
Speaker 2: I've lost my grandparents and have had a couple very
Speaker 2: close friends and close family friends that have lost and
Speaker 2: just just knowing that or believing you know, I know,
Speaker 2: just because I believe, but I have faith that they're
Speaker 2: watching over me. So yeah, they definitely I felt like
Speaker 2: they were there with me.
Speaker 1: I feel like I really started listening to that feeling
Speaker 1: that you're talking about of being supported by my angels
Speaker 1: or the universe or whatever, God, whatever you want to
Speaker 1: call it. I had struggled for so long in my
Speaker 1: life to find any kind of faith or belonging, and
Speaker 1: so when I started to develop that faith in something,
Speaker 1: whether it was the Buddhist teachings that I was learning
Speaker 1: or the angels that I felt and saw, whatever, it
Speaker 1: is like, if it's the faith, it ignites something in
Speaker 1: you and comforts you and pushes you, and just that's
Speaker 1: that feeling of comfort I think that I was so seeking.
Speaker 1: I found it in faith faith of something.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, for sure. I feel like that's a huge
Speaker 2: part of the mental struggle too, and that goes you know,
Speaker 2: you don't have to be on special forces to use
Speaker 2: this in your daily life, you know, mental setbacks, challenges,
Speaker 2: emotional things going on. Faith has gotten me through a
Speaker 2: lot a lot in my life, and I I am
Speaker 2: thankful that I had that to draw on for the show,
Speaker 2: and I'll continue to use that you know every day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's faith is amazing. It's right there accessible at
Speaker 1: any moment.
Speaker 2: It's almost comforting.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, I'm so proud of you. I don't even know.
Speaker 1: It's not my place to be proud of you, but
Speaker 1: I am.
Speaker 2: I know. At the same.
Speaker 1: Age, I think you're amazing and I'm just in all
Speaker 1: that you chose to do this, and you're such a
Speaker 1: risk taker and a leader. That's a great message for
Speaker 1: your daughter and your son. And yeah, I think you're awesome.
Speaker 2: Right back, as I said, I've been such a huge
Speaker 2: fan for so long, So thank you.
Speaker 1: It's been so nice to chat with you. Before I
Speaker 1: let you go, though, I want to ask you, Trista,
Speaker 1: what was your last I choose me a moment?
Speaker 2: You know, obviously this show was a huge one, but
Speaker 2: I'm going to say, like, just yesterday I went was
Speaker 2: it yesterday? Two days ago? I went and played pickle ball,
Speaker 2: even though my I think my friend, my kids were
Speaker 2: needing to be somewhere, and I'm like, you know what,
Speaker 2: this is my time. I don't schedule a lot of these,
Speaker 2: but this is my time. I'll come pick you up.
Speaker 2: You're safe, You're at a friends I'll come pick you
Speaker 2: up when I'm done, you know what I mean. So
Speaker 2: sometimes you just got to be like, you know what,
Speaker 2: this is my time, and if you're safe and where
Speaker 2: you you know, where you're okay, then I'm going to
Speaker 2: put myself first. So I did that, and I feel
Speaker 2: like that is so so important for moms out there
Speaker 2: and caregivers just to understand that if you don't fill
Speaker 2: your bucket, then you're not going to be able to
Speaker 2: fill anybody else's. You're going to be empty, You're going
Speaker 2: to be depleted, and so put your oxygen mask on
Speaker 2: first and fill your bucket so that you can help
Speaker 2: out the people in your life that you're trying to help.
Speaker 2: It's so important.
Speaker 1: Love that message. Thank you so much for coming on
Speaker 1: the show and sharing your journey with us. You're inspiring
Speaker 1: to all of us.
Speaker 2: I hope. So you know, you always wonder like, oh gosh,
Speaker 2: how are they going to edit it? And what am
Speaker 2: I going to look like? And are people like, oh
Speaker 2: what is she thinking? You know, but no cares. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I know it's true.
Speaker 1: You you'd prove to yourself what you're capable of, and
Speaker 1: it does not matter what anybody yel thinks.
Speaker 2: Thank you agreed. I need to hear that good. Thank
Speaker 2: you for telling.
Speaker 1: Me we'll stay safe, be well loved.
Speaker 2: Please please, much love,