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Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hey, everybody,

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Speaker 1: welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast, as you know,

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Speaker 1: is all about the choices we make and where they

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Speaker 1: lead us. Life is a way of presenting us with

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Speaker 1: opportunities for growth and change. When we're faced with a

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Speaker 1: new opportunity, we either make a safe, familiar choice, or

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Speaker 1: maybe we see this opportunity as a place to make

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Speaker 1: choices that propel us towards unfamiliar, uncertain places and experiences.

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Speaker 1: I think it's in those risky choices where we find

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Speaker 1: the most gorgeous and rewarding personal growth and Rea mention

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Speaker 1: of ourselves. My guest today has taken some big and

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Speaker 1: bold risks in her life. You know her from being

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Speaker 1: the first ever bachelorette and from her podcast Almost Famous Ogs.

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Speaker 1: She recently participated on the new season of Special Forces

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Speaker 1: on Fox and spoiler alert, even though her time on

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Speaker 1: the show has come to an end, I wanted to

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Speaker 1: talk with her because this show is so extreme. I

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Speaker 1: don't know how she did it. Please welcome Trista Sutter

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Speaker 1: to the podcast. Hello Trista, Oh my gosh, I'm so excited.

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Speaker 2: You don't even know how many dreams you are making

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Speaker 2: come true with my college self. And honestly, I feel

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Speaker 2: like I get you know when people tell you who

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Speaker 2: you look like, you're a woman of the people. Get

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Speaker 2: And I've always been like, thank you. That's such a

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Speaker 2: huge compliment. So I really like that. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Well, I'm also a fan of yours. Been watching you

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Speaker 1: since you're on the Bachelor.

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Speaker 2: That's a long time ago.

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Speaker 1: That's a long time ago. Oh my god, you were

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Speaker 1: the very first bachelorette, like you are the reason there

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Speaker 1: is it's the Bachelor nation is so strong.

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Speaker 2: Well, thank you for that. I don't know if I

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Speaker 2: can take all the credit, but but yeah, I mean

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Speaker 2: it's pretty crazy. But it's still going on, Like it

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Speaker 2: really is pretty crazy.

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Speaker 1: It really is.

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Speaker 2: Get started. I just want to say I'm so sorry

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Speaker 2: for everything that you and your family and your community

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Speaker 2: are going through. It's just heartbreaking.

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Speaker 1: Thank you. Yeah, it really is heartbreaking. Oh it's just yeah,

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Speaker 1: but thank you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, I just I had to say it,

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Speaker 2: but of course no. I was there actually on Tuesday,

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Speaker 2: but when it all started. Yes, I was doing interviews

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Speaker 2: at the Sunset Marquis Hotel and there was a fire

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Speaker 2: right near our hotel, and then as I was leaving

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Speaker 2: to go to the airport, like this huge plume of smoke.

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Speaker 2: You could see it from far away on the four

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Speaker 2: or five, and then from my plane, I actually took

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Speaker 2: a video of the Palisade fire. I'm thankful that I

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Speaker 2: got out when I did. But yeah, I just it's

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Speaker 2: like all in comor, like it consumes you your mind,

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Speaker 2: even if you don't live there, like I just my

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Speaker 2: heart is breaking for.

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Speaker 1: Lost me to me too. Just a first off, I

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Speaker 1: need to know all about this experience that you are having.

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Speaker 1: Let's talk about Special Forces, because for those of who

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Speaker 1: haven't seen the show, it's an insane I choose me

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Speaker 1: moment in itself just for doing this. It's like an

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Speaker 1: intense boot camp environment. Where what were you thinking when

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Speaker 1: you said yes to this?

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Speaker 2: I mean, come on, no, I don't know if I

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Speaker 2: was thinking actually right, So at first I actually said hell.

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Speaker 1: No, okay, good response.

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Speaker 2: Crazy, and then said, don't you want my husband? This

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Speaker 2: is totally up his alley? Like he would thrive in

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Speaker 2: this experience. I okay. So the more I thought about it,

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Speaker 2: after I initially, you know, my gut reaction was to

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Speaker 2: say no. I talked to my husband, talked to my family,

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Speaker 2: and watched the previous seasons, and I felt like even

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Speaker 2: though I was fifty one when we filmed, and you know,

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Speaker 2: I'm not in the greatest shape of my life. I'm

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Speaker 2: not like, you know, I'm not I'm not in horrible shape,

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Speaker 2: but I'm not in the best shape. I'm somewhere in

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Speaker 2: the middle.

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Speaker 1: That's good. That's good to me.

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Speaker 2: And I just felt like, you know, yeah, i might

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Speaker 2: not be the strongest on the show, but I'm looking

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Speaker 2: my purpose is it's all individual, right, So my purpose

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Speaker 2: going into it was I dedicated my life to my

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Speaker 2: family for almost eighteen years. My son, my oldest, is seventeen,

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Speaker 2: so I look for opportunities to give back to myself

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Speaker 2: and challenge myself. And with them leaving soon, you know,

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Speaker 2: making me an empty nester with Ryan, I'm just really

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Speaker 2: faced with this moment of And you have an older daughter, right,

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Speaker 2: maybe two that are yeah, so.

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Speaker 1: You know you know youngest is eighteen, so yeah, okay, yes.

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Speaker 2: You know exactly. So I it's hard like when you

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Speaker 2: when you've poured into your family and your kids for

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Speaker 2: so long and it becomes your identity. I'm really trying

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Speaker 2: to get back to the person I am without my kids,

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Speaker 2: because not to take away from being a mom, it's

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Speaker 2: my greatest, greatest joy and I wouldn't take back any

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Speaker 2: of the time that I have given to my family

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Speaker 2: and my kids. But now I'm kind of looking to

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Speaker 2: the future and thinking, I really need to figure out

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Speaker 2: who I'm going to be when they're gone. So that

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Speaker 2: was my reason for doing it, and I'm really glad

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Speaker 2: I did. I'm really grateful for it. Actually it's crazy,

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Speaker 2: it's contense, but it was amazing.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So yeah, this was, like I said before, the

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Speaker 1: ultimate I Choose me moment for you is just like

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Speaker 1: I need to figure out who I am and what

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Speaker 1: I'm capable of again, because I can fully relate with

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Speaker 1: You've given yourself all to your kids and your family,

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Speaker 1: and when you do that, you do you spend some

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Speaker 1: time thinking, well, what am I instead of that? Like

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Speaker 1: what am I without that? Because you're about to be

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Speaker 1: faced with a whole different kind of parenting And I

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Speaker 1: think it's so intuitive of you too. Yeah, first have

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Speaker 1: that negative reaction of like, uh no, thank you. I've

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Speaker 1: got to be honest with you. They asked me to

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Speaker 1: do the show on the first season. There was nothing

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Speaker 1: for me to watch to like yet what it was like,

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Speaker 1: and just from the description, I was like, yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: a no for me. I'm sorry. I don't need to

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Speaker 1: push myself like that anymore. I know. I know what

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Speaker 1: I'm capable of, and I know what I'm not capable of.

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Speaker 1: And I'm really not capable of leaping from a speedboat

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Speaker 1: onto a helicopter. I do not know how you did

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Speaker 1: these things. I just I want to know everything. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you guys are getting like pushed into freezing cold water,

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Speaker 1: like I said, jumping from helicopters, you're bungee jumping off

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Speaker 1: of the tall bridges. I've only seen the first two episodes,

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Speaker 1: but oh my god, I'm on the edge of my

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Speaker 1: seat for you and for all of the casts.

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Speaker 2: Thank you.

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Speaker 1: Did you do anything to prepare yourself ahead of time?

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Speaker 2: I tried. I talked to Hannah Brown, who was you know,

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Speaker 2: on a Bachelorette and won the first season. And if

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Speaker 2: you call it winning, like you know, she won for herself,

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Speaker 2: but she made it to the end of the first season,

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Speaker 2: and so I called her and she was like, as

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Speaker 2: much hiking running you can do with a big, huge backpack,

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Speaker 2: on your back and I wish I had done more.

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Speaker 2: Is all I have to say, Like I did.

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Speaker 1: You take her seriously or did you like I'm going

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Speaker 1: to do this every day?

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Speaker 2: I took her seriously. But I had back surgery lumbar fusion.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, maybe like ten years ago. My back

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Speaker 2: is way better than it was. I felt like a

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Speaker 2: ninety year old. But after the surgery, I always say,

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Speaker 2: I wish I had had it sooner. Well, they the

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Speaker 2: medical you know, they have to clear you medically, and

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Speaker 2: the medical team wasn't going to clear me. And they

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Speaker 2: told me, sorry, we can't have you on the show

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Speaker 2: because we can't clear you. And I was like, I'm sorry,

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Speaker 2: but Jack Osborne was on it with multiple sclerosis, like

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Speaker 2: you know, people had previous injuries, right, And so I

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Speaker 2: was like, well, why don't you let me make that

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Speaker 2: decision for myself and leave when I feel like I can't?

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Speaker 2: But why like exclude me from doing it when it's

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Speaker 2: just because I've had surgery. And they were like, well,

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Speaker 2: we don't know how you're going to be being pushed

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Speaker 2: off a boat now. Is anyone gonna be okay being

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Speaker 2: pushed off or does.

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Speaker 1: Anybody know how let's see, how did I act last

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Speaker 1: time I got pushed off a speedboat exactly.

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Speaker 2: So while I was working through that with the medical

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Speaker 2: team and the producers, I am super superstitious, and I thought,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to jinx myself if I keep working out.

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Speaker 2: So I've freaking stopped. I mean, and I knew like

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Speaker 2: three months before they asked me like three months before.

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Speaker 2: Had I continued and done it every day like I

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Speaker 2: should have, I would have been an amazing shape. But

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Speaker 2: didn't I know it. It bothers me. I wish I

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Speaker 2: would could have, because what you don't see on the

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Speaker 2: show is in between the tasks and the accommodations where

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Speaker 2: we're sleeping or like the first day when we started

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Speaker 2: at that, like off the boat getting pushed off the boat.

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Speaker 2: You run everywhere, you run all the time, and you're

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Speaker 2: running with a massive military rucksack backpack that has to

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Speaker 2: be filled to fifteen kilograms, which is like I think

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Speaker 2: it ends up being like thirty five pounds or something

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Speaker 2: like that. So if your pack isn't thirty five pounds,

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Speaker 2: then you have to fill it with sand until it's

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Speaker 2: thirty five pounds and carry that everywhere you go. In

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Speaker 2: between and I don't know. I just feel like I

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Speaker 2: don't like to burden other people. I didn't want to

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Speaker 2: be a burden to people. And they're helping me carry

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Speaker 2: my you can see. And when we got to the bridge,

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Speaker 2: you see Golden carrying a backpack on the front of

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Speaker 2: his body and his back that front backpack was mine.

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Speaker 2: So thank God for my angels. But I just I

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Speaker 2: didn't want to be a burden, you know. So I

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Speaker 2: really wish that I had trained more.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I can't even run to the corner, Like running

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Speaker 1: with no backpack is just like not a thing I

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Speaker 1: can do anymore. Unfortunately, before you accepted this job or experience,

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Speaker 1: whatever you want to call it, were you like in

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Speaker 1: the mindset of choosing yourself or how would you have

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Speaker 1: just described yourself like before this?

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Speaker 2: Before this, I was like, yes, occasionally choosing myself. But

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Speaker 2: I'm still in it. I mean, my daughter doesn't drive yet,

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Speaker 2: so I am still like her, you know, essentially her

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Speaker 2: chauffeur and set her and you know, all those things.

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Speaker 2: So I'm still in it really with my with my

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Speaker 2: kids and just looking forward, looking forward to the time

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Speaker 2: when they're going to be gone, because I have a

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Speaker 2: lot of friends who are going, you know, through that

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Speaker 2: and becoming empty nesters. But so I'm still in it

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Speaker 2: and maybe not choosing myself as much as hopefully after

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Speaker 2: they're gone. But but yeah, that's kind of where my

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Speaker 2: mind was.

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Speaker 1: Since you did have the privilege of watching like the

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Speaker 1: seasons before, how did you were you terrified? How did

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Speaker 1: you mentally prepare yourself? Were you like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I said yes to this like a couple of weeks ago,

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Speaker 1: I'm changing my mind. I don't want to do it,

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Speaker 1: Like I can imagine I would have been like freaking

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Speaker 1: out and be like, no, I'm not sorry, pulling out

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Speaker 1: not doing it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, there was you know, actually no, I take that back.

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Speaker 2: I feel like once I committed, I was committed. It

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Speaker 2: was just waiting for my clearance to come through. I

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Speaker 2: was actually excited. You know, I've had some pretty crazy

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Speaker 2: ones in a lifetime. Opportunities like this is not people

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Speaker 2: can pay for, you know, like you don't just go

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Speaker 2: to the special courses and be like, hey, can you

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Speaker 2: put me through base camp boot camp? You know? So

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Speaker 2: I feel really lucky that I got asked, and I

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Speaker 2: really wanted to take it seriously and and make my

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Speaker 2: kids proud, make my husband proud, make myself proud, make

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Speaker 2: my family proud. You know, so, no, I was. I

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Speaker 2: was definitely committed once I committed.

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Speaker 1: M hmm. What was that like, having to leave your

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Speaker 1: family and go I don't even know where you filmed

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Speaker 1: that where you have to go far away? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we filmed in Wales, so I London. Yeah, it

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Speaker 2: was far and it was when my kids were still

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Speaker 2: in school, so they were going through finals. So well,

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Speaker 2: that was really hard because you know, I wanted to

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Speaker 2: be here to help them through that those last couple

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Speaker 2: of weeks of school. And of course they take away

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Speaker 2: your phone once you start filming, so that was difficult.

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Speaker 2: But I will say that's also another I Choose me moment,

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Speaker 2: is just knowing that I wasn't going to have access

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Speaker 2: to my family and vice versa, and saying, you know what,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to choose me in this moment and really

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Speaker 2: stay committed to the show and do what I need

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Speaker 2: to do. And this is one of the things.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, because you said you didn't have your phone,

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Speaker 1: was there a feeling of like isolation or just like

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Speaker 1: complete disconnect from because you're so I would imagine in

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Speaker 1: that environment. You have to just fully jump in and

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Speaker 1: be consumed by it all the time.

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Speaker 2: You do, you do. I think that's how you probably

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Speaker 2: survive is you really just have to stay committed and

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Speaker 2: remembering your why and your purpose being there. That I

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Speaker 2: think is a big part of the mental preparation is

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Speaker 2: just really committing, you know, and not lying to yourself,

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Speaker 2: you know, like really being honest with yourself for why

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Speaker 2: you're doing it and giving it your all. Because it's

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Speaker 2: very similar in that way to the Bachelor and Bachelorette.

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Speaker 2: You really have to just give in emotionally to the

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Speaker 2: experience because you can't get out of it anything if

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Speaker 2: you don't fully you know, commit to the experience and

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Speaker 2: truthfully be yourself, right right.

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Speaker 1: I think that's the case with any experience, right.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, totally. I agree, any relationship, any experience. Yeah, you

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Speaker 2: gotta agree. Just dive in, yep, and I did. Or

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Speaker 2: I got pushed in, but you didn't die.

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Speaker 1: You got pushed in. I was like, ouch my neck.

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Speaker 1: I would have come up and come been like, you're

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Speaker 1: I have whiplash. You seem to get pretty close with

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Speaker 1: some of your fellow castmates. Who would you say you

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Speaker 1: were closest with and who did you rely on the most.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so, like I mentioned my angels as as it

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Speaker 2: showed in the last part of that, well, they're calling

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Speaker 2: it the second episode, the second hour of the first episode,

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Speaker 2: however you want to look at it. And after the beach,

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Speaker 2: which was like the surf emrgin where you're linked up

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Speaker 2: and you're you know, essentially drowning yourself, I got back

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Speaker 2: to the vehicle and I went through. They didn't show

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Speaker 2: much of it, but I went through. I believe hypothermia.

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Speaker 2: Took a while for the medics to get to me,

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Speaker 2: but I was I could not move my head, I

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Speaker 2: couldn't lift my head. My jaw was locked. I was

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Speaker 2: in like lockjaw, if that's what you call it, and

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Speaker 2: shivering like uncontrollably. And Christy Carlson, Romano and Cam were

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Speaker 2: in my vehicle and they scooped me up and put

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Speaker 2: me on their lap and mind you were all wet,

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Speaker 2: you know, I think, Yeah, I was still wet at

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Speaker 2: the time, and they scooped me up and like just

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Speaker 2: kept me close to them for body body heat and

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Speaker 2: then piled everyone's coats and stuff on top of me.

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Speaker 2: So they are definitely two of my angels that kind

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Speaker 2: of took care of me, and I bonded with them

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Speaker 2: because of that. And then Golden was one of those

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Speaker 2: people too, like always looking to help. And then you know, Ali,

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Speaker 2: I've known for years and years, so to be able

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Speaker 2: to be there with somebody that I already called a

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Speaker 2: friend was awesome, and she was really there for me

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Speaker 2: when I was going through that hypothermia. Once I got

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Speaker 2: back to the accommodations, but Denise Richards and I really bonded.

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Speaker 2: I loved the entire group, like they're good people, which

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Speaker 2: is odd, you know, not odd that they're good people,

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Speaker 2: odd that you know, there's so many people, and I

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Speaker 2: felt like everyone was a great person. So we feel

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Speaker 2: like we got lucky. You know.

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Speaker 1: It's like a big group of people you would never

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Speaker 1: expect to have together and they're all so completely different.

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Speaker 1: I can imagine like going into that on just being

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Speaker 1: open and getting to know these people from a different perspective,

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Speaker 1: you know, like you had that you all are in

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Speaker 1: the same boat. I'm sure it was so bonding.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was. I Mean, when you go through anything

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Speaker 2: challenging or away from your family, away from your normal life,

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Speaker 2: with you know, other people, you definitely bond if you're

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Speaker 2: willing to. You know, I'm sure there's people who go

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Speaker 2: into this kind of experience that are just like, you

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Speaker 2: know what, I'm here for myself and I'm just gonna

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Speaker 2: I'm just going to do it for myself. But I

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Speaker 2: feel like that was one of the big takeaways that

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Speaker 2: I wanted to take away, And also what I'm so

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Speaker 2: grateful for now is just having the camaraderie of the

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Speaker 2: rest of the recruit.

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Speaker 1: I know when you went away to do this, there

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Speaker 1: was a big hubbabaloo on the Internet about some messages

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Speaker 1: your husband put out there that they were cryptic, and

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Speaker 1: people were like, oh my god, are they breaking up?

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Speaker 1: And I was very scared that that was happening, because

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Speaker 1: you two are like a couple goals, Like I just

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Speaker 1: think you're such an awesome pair together. But what happened

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Speaker 1: with that?

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah. So if you look back on it,

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Speaker 2: and I read it on my podcast with Bob Guiney,

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Speaker 2: I do a it's called almost Famous Oje's and we

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Speaker 2: talked about it, and I read the post that Ryan posted,

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Speaker 2: and now it makes complete sense if you go back

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Speaker 2: and you know that I'm in Wales filming this show,

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Speaker 2: but of course I couldn't talk about it because they

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Speaker 2: have you, you know, dialed into secret. You just can't.

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Speaker 2: And so I was just away filming the show. My

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Speaker 2: husband was being really sweet and kind of shouting it

336
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Speaker 2: from the rooftops via Instagram, and you know, it was

337
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Speaker 2: it was shocking to me, actually, because we've been married

338
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Speaker 2: twenty one years, right, and it's been a long time,

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Speaker 2: and it is really sweet that people actually cared. You know,

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Speaker 2: most of the time they don't care, and Ryan will post,

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Speaker 2: you know, sweet things, or I'll post something or whatever,

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Speaker 2: and most of the time it just kind of you know,

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Speaker 2: our normal numbers whatever of people who liked it or

344
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:39,160
Speaker 2: commented or reached out and said, you know, happy anniversary,

345
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:43,080
Speaker 2: your happy birthday or what, you know, whatever. But the

346
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:47,639
Speaker 2: fact that it like all the news outlets were talking

347
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Speaker 2: about it all everyone was talking about it, and I'm like,

348
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Speaker 2: oh my gosh, people have lost their minds. But they're

349
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Speaker 2: really sweet for losing their minds.

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Speaker 1: That's so crazy. Yeah, I always think when something goes

351
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,520
Speaker 1: viral or is lifted out of something, I'm like, wow,

352
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:08,280
Speaker 1: must be a slow news day, because they wanted to

353
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Speaker 1: talk about this, but I stopped realizing that it's of

354
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:15,919
Speaker 1: interest to other people because you're just living your life

355
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Speaker 1: and you're just having a marriage and a family. All

356
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Speaker 1: of a sudden you're in the news and it's like controversial.

357
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:26,080
Speaker 1: I can imagine that would have thrown.

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Speaker 2: She having a nervous breakdown? Are they divorcing? Oh my gosh,

359
00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:33,240
Speaker 2: Like I mean, I had so many of my friends

360
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:36,320
Speaker 2: from college, from high school, from you know, life here

361
00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:39,920
Speaker 2: in Colorado writing me, are you okay? What's going on?

362
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Speaker 1: I'm fine.

363
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Speaker 2: I'm just over in Wills almost probably having a nervous

364
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:51,520
Speaker 2: breakdown from the show. But you know, you know, they

365
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:55,320
Speaker 2: didn't show a lot of what I did, which was

366
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:57,720
Speaker 2: like frustrating for me because I'm like, I do want

367
00:21:57,760 --> 00:21:59,840
Speaker 2: to show my kids that I actually did jump off

368
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Speaker 2: the rich you know, and and how well I did

369
00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:08,600
Speaker 2: at the end. I actually failed that one because I

370
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:10,080
Speaker 2: made noise.

371
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Speaker 1: That was like a good call on their part. I

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Speaker 1: think that was a little rough. Well, if you jump

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Speaker 1: off a thing like that and your body's like like slammed,

374
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:25,640
Speaker 1: you get whiplash, Like of course you're going to make

375
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Speaker 1: a noise like h or something.

376
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Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know if they have superpowers, they

377
00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:35,080
Speaker 2: pretty much do the DS. But they're like, you're an

378
00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:38,880
Speaker 2: enemy territory. This is your mission. You're an enemy territory.

379
00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:40,840
Speaker 2: You cannot make a noise or else they're going to

380
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Speaker 2: hear you. And totally understand that and respect that. But

381
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Speaker 2: what I had a problem with is Nathan Adrian did it.

382
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Speaker 2: I think he went first or second. He went pretty

383
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Speaker 2: early and I was second to last. And I remember

384
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Speaker 2: him making like a grunt, like a noise when he

385
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:03,399
Speaker 2: when the bungeee like hit, you know, And I was like,

386
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:05,639
Speaker 2: but he passed, So why do I pass?

387
00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:09,440
Speaker 1: I know, I felt like, you're right, that rule kind

388
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:12,000
Speaker 1: of came on slow and then took everybody out. Basically,

389
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Speaker 1: I know, I got a fail for everybody.

390
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:19,480
Speaker 2: Oh and then the boat. They didn't show me on

391
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:23,200
Speaker 2: the helicopter either, like jumping to the helicopter. And it's

392
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:26,040
Speaker 2: so funny. I was watching with my family like two

393
00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:29,199
Speaker 2: nights ago. Finally we got you know, all in the

394
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:32,520
Speaker 2: same house at the same time so we could watch together.

395
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:36,960
Speaker 2: And they were like, wait, why is the helicopter so

396
00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:39,800
Speaker 2: close for some people and so far away for some people?

397
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 2: Like Stephen Baldwin. All he had to do was go

398
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:46,680
Speaker 2: like this, like literally that far, you know, poor guy.

399
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:48,440
Speaker 1: He was so excited and he made it.

400
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:53,199
Speaker 2: He did awesome, I mean awesome, but it was so close.

401
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:57,359
Speaker 2: And then like Nathan Adrian is six six and he

402
00:23:57,520 --> 00:24:00,719
Speaker 2: still didn't make it, and he jumped pretty high. So

403
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:04,800
Speaker 2: that shows you, like, obviously, I mean, it's a helicopter, right,

404
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:07,720
Speaker 2: so they try to get as close as they can

405
00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:10,919
Speaker 2: to the boat and they know what they're doing, but

406
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:14,399
Speaker 2: it's just not like a perfect science. So mine was

407
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:17,600
Speaker 2: pretty far away, and I had the fear in the

408
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:21,000
Speaker 2: back of my mind that Foxy tells you when you

409
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:24,679
Speaker 2: get onto the boat, if you don't jump by the

410
00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:28,000
Speaker 2: time we need you to jump, then I'm pushing you

411
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:32,200
Speaker 2: in the water from a moving speedboat. And so that's

412
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:35,040
Speaker 2: all I could think was like, Okay, they're telling me

413
00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:37,800
Speaker 2: to go, and maybe I should wait for the helicopter

414
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:40,680
Speaker 2: to get closer, but I don't want I don't want

415
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:44,280
Speaker 2: him pushing me off this boat like as we're going

416
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:45,439
Speaker 2: really fast, you know.

417
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Speaker 1: So anyway, complete madness.

418
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:51,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is. It was crazy intent.

419
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Speaker 1: I'm still thrilled by the idea that you like, you

420
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:58,760
Speaker 1: were away and then you had this crazy, wild life

421
00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:01,359
Speaker 1: changing experience and and then you come back and you

422
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:05,080
Speaker 1: can't tell your best friend, or you can probably tell

423
00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:07,520
Speaker 1: your husband because you know he's not gonna tell them.

424
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:10,040
Speaker 1: Not to tell anyoney one. But like you can't tell

425
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:12,800
Speaker 1: anybody where you were, what you just experienced, or like

426
00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:15,520
Speaker 1: how it transformed you totally.

427
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:18,200
Speaker 2: You have to wait, and you know, you just sign

428
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,600
Speaker 2: your life away and you also signed that you have

429
00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:23,160
Speaker 2: to keep everything in secret. And it's not my first

430
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:26,000
Speaker 2: rodeo when it comes to that. You know, like I

431
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:30,359
Speaker 2: I remember signing the contract for Bachelor and they were like, Okay,

432
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:32,280
Speaker 2: well if you tell anybody, then we're going to see

433
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:34,080
Speaker 2: you five million dollars. I'm like, good luck with that,

434
00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:38,919
Speaker 2: because I don't have it. Yeah, but it's like, you know,

435
00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:42,280
Speaker 2: the fear, the fear of God or the fear of

436
00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:44,800
Speaker 2: lawyers are put into you and you're like, okay, well

437
00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:46,840
Speaker 2: guys have it Zip Phillips.

438
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:56,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, how would you say as a wife, as a mother,

439
00:25:57,080 --> 00:26:01,320
Speaker 1: this experience sort of changed you or maybe changed even

440
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:03,679
Speaker 1: your approach on life moving forward.

441
00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:08,240
Speaker 2: You know, I know that I can do hard things,

442
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:10,600
Speaker 2: you know when you said in the beginning, I know

443
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:12,199
Speaker 2: what I can do and I know what I can't do.

444
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:14,439
Speaker 2: And this is one of those things I can't do.

445
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:19,120
Speaker 2: While I wanted to just challenge myself. If you had

446
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:24,679
Speaker 2: told me six months ago that I would be bungee

447
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:28,400
Speaker 2: jumping off of a one hundred and thirty foot bridge

448
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:32,760
Speaker 2: in the middle of Wales, I would have said, you're crazy.

449
00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:34,600
Speaker 2: There's no way I'm.

450
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:35,960
Speaker 1: Still gonna say it. You're crazy.

451
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:43,159
Speaker 2: I am. I am, and I am so proud of

452
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:46,119
Speaker 2: myself that I did that. I treaded water for fifteen minutes,

453
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:49,720
Speaker 2: you know, like that's not something that I do on

454
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:53,960
Speaker 2: a daily basis. So I am just proud. I'm proud

455
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:57,080
Speaker 2: of myself. I walk away from the experience thinking, you

456
00:26:57,119 --> 00:26:59,600
Speaker 2: know what, you should be proud of yourself. You did

457
00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:04,800
Speaker 2: really hard things and you survived and lived to tail

458
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:08,680
Speaker 2: the tail Yeah, by god.

459
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:12,320
Speaker 1: I would, Yeah, I would. I would imagine a sense

460
00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:18,080
Speaker 1: of some sort of affirmative feeling in my either ability

461
00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:21,520
Speaker 1: to do hard things or my just even being risky,

462
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:24,560
Speaker 1: you know, in that way it didn't make those choices.

463
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:28,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, And that's that's kind of normal life

464
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:31,560
Speaker 2: for me too, is being not risky. You know, I

465
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:37,399
Speaker 2: played pickleball and majong and like it's everywhere, and yeah,

466
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:40,240
Speaker 2: those are not risky things, So I'm not usually that

467
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:44,399
Speaker 2: risk taker. I never really have been. I've been an athlete,

468
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:47,840
Speaker 2: but I haven't been a risk taker. The biggest risk

469
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:51,080
Speaker 2: I feel like I did before this was rock climbing,

470
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:56,800
Speaker 2: and I was terrified of that. But actually I kept

471
00:27:56,800 --> 00:28:00,480
Speaker 2: saying during the bridge that I wasn't as scared because

472
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:03,960
Speaker 2: I had been rock climbing and the heights weren't as

473
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,880
Speaker 2: much of a fear for me as they had been

474
00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:09,359
Speaker 2: in the past. So you never know. I mean, I

475
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:13,840
Speaker 2: feel like it's really a great feeling when you challenge

476
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:18,800
Speaker 2: yourself and you, you know, are able to surprise yourself

477
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:23,280
Speaker 2: and succeed, and that just fills your bucket, you know,

478
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:26,560
Speaker 2: it fills that like the bucket of the insecurities that

479
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:29,320
Speaker 2: I feel like all of us carry, for maybe most

480
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:31,199
Speaker 2: of us, maybe some people don't have any, but I

481
00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:35,600
Speaker 2: sure do. And I you know, I loved being able

482
00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:38,040
Speaker 2: to give myself that sense of pride that I can

483
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:38,560
Speaker 2: do hardly.

484
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:42,560
Speaker 1: I love that For you. Do you miss the adrenaline

485
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:45,600
Speaker 1: of it all? Do you miss jumping out of boats

486
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:49,000
Speaker 1: and jumping off bridges? Do you miss sleeping on a cot?

487
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:50,640
Speaker 2: Oh? I sure don't know.

488
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:53,560
Speaker 1: Do you miss having someone shout in your face like that,

489
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:56,400
Speaker 1: for me, I will be like, Okay, this is my

490
00:28:56,480 --> 00:29:00,720
Speaker 1: personal space and this is your personal space. I wouldn't

491
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:02,080
Speaker 1: have been able to handle the shouting.

492
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 2: It's really hard. It's very hard. But what I realized,

493
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:12,480
Speaker 2: I think maybe even before we started filming, was I

494
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:16,240
Speaker 2: think that the whole and I interviewed you, Who's the

495
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:18,760
Speaker 2: guy who was yelling at me as I'm leaving the beach.

496
00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:23,920
Speaker 2: He's the Navy beal. I interviewed him yesterday for my podcast,

497
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:27,640
Speaker 2: and that was really actually kind of like a little

498
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:33,680
Speaker 2: full circle moment. But I've realized that we all, like

499
00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:36,560
Speaker 2: I just said, the insecurities, like you hear me talking

500
00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:38,280
Speaker 2: on the trailer about the devil and the angel on

501
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:39,320
Speaker 2: my shoulder right.

502
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:40,400
Speaker 1: And.

503
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:45,680
Speaker 2: I feel like when you all of us are going

504
00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:48,840
Speaker 2: to tell there's this inner dialogue right when you're doing

505
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:52,560
Speaker 2: something new, if you're not doing well, you're like, you

506
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:55,520
Speaker 2: shouldn't be here, you need to go home, you don't

507
00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:57,800
Speaker 2: deserve to be here. You're too old, you're too out

508
00:29:57,800 --> 00:30:01,560
Speaker 2: of shape, like you know, you're not enough, essentially, And

509
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:08,240
Speaker 2: I feel like the reason that the directing staff yell

510
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:11,760
Speaker 2: or the military when they're putting people through basic training.

511
00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:17,720
Speaker 2: Is they know that you're telling yourself this in your head.

512
00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:20,880
Speaker 2: It's just a human I feel like it's a human thing, right,

513
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:25,080
Speaker 2: And so if you're telling yourself, you're going to believe

514
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 2: what your inner dialogue is telling you. But if somebody

515
00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:34,320
Speaker 2: else says it, then you want to prove them wrong.

516
00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 2: You want to be like through off, I deserve to

517
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:40,800
Speaker 2: be here. I'm not ready to go home. I know

518
00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:43,200
Speaker 2: everyone's waiting for me, but they're really nice people, and

519
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:44,960
Speaker 2: they're going to continue to wait for me, you know

520
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:47,720
Speaker 2: what I mean. So, like, I feel like there's a

521
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:50,560
Speaker 2: reason that they do it. They also want to like

522
00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:52,600
Speaker 2: break us down so they can build us up and

523
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:54,480
Speaker 2: show us that we can do hard things and we

524
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:58,080
Speaker 2: should believe in ourselves. It is really hard to take, though,

525
00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:02,480
Speaker 2: but I think you know me to that realization at least,

526
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:04,920
Speaker 2: you know. I don't know if that's reality, but that

527
00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:08,400
Speaker 2: was kind of my my rationale for why they do it,

528
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:10,560
Speaker 2: and that helped me deal with.

529
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:14,800
Speaker 1: The yelling what did you guys eat? I'm so curious

530
00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:16,160
Speaker 1: about all the details?

531
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:19,800
Speaker 2: Do you know what's funny? I have the worst memory,

532
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:26,440
Speaker 2: and oh, Jenny, I feel like I'm like, Okay, I

533
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:28,040
Speaker 2: need to go to the doctor because do I have

534
00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:31,400
Speaker 2: Alzheimer's or a brain tumor or something, because this is

535
00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:31,959
Speaker 2: not normal.

536
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:34,680
Speaker 1: It's probably just a perimenopause for you.

537
00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:38,680
Speaker 2: Oh, it's sure, it is for sure. Along with just

538
00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:41,600
Speaker 2: I've always had a bad memory, but it's gotten way worse.

539
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:43,000
Speaker 1: I know, it's kind of scary.

540
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:48,080
Speaker 2: It's very scary. So the details like that, I don't

541
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:51,040
Speaker 2: actually remember a lot of what we ate. I know,

542
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:54,800
Speaker 2: one day it was like pasta, you know, like they

543
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:57,920
Speaker 2: do cook for us, and in the vehicles they gave

544
00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 2: us snacks. Those snacks were like yogurt, a sandwich, an orange,

545
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:11,960
Speaker 2: like healthy nola bar. Yeah, but they stopped giving it

546
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:16,240
Speaker 2: to us. I remember Cam. He was so frustrated because

547
00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:17,520
Speaker 2: he's giant.

548
00:32:17,960 --> 00:32:21,480
Speaker 1: He needs food, he needs galleries, he needs.

549
00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:25,080
Speaker 2: Food, and he's a vegan and they were giving him

550
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:29,200
Speaker 2: like not vegan stuff and he was just like, I

551
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:34,200
Speaker 2: need food. You guys am not gonna last. So yeah,

552
00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:37,040
Speaker 2: the food, you know, it's it leaves a lot to

553
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:40,880
Speaker 2: be desired. But you're it's not like I expected good food,

554
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:43,920
Speaker 2: you know, I wasn't expecting.

555
00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:46,959
Speaker 1: Where's the caterer, where's craft service?

556
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:50,760
Speaker 2: Please? And actually Denise said that like I was, I

557
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:52,800
Speaker 2: was wondering when we would get our break and we

558
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:56,840
Speaker 2: could go to craft services. Oh, bless her heart.

559
00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 1: She did a great job. She was like, I knew

560
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:02,160
Speaker 1: I'd be the first one to go.

561
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:07,360
Speaker 2: She was so scared. She did not want to look like, uh,

562
00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:10,600
Speaker 2: you know, the weakling that goes first. But yeah, she

563
00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:14,040
Speaker 2: was not weak at all. I feel like she didn't watch.

564
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 2: I interviewed her too, and we've talked. When I was

565
00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:21,960
Speaker 2: in LA, we did press together and she was like,

566
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,440
Speaker 2: I'm not going to watch. I don't like watching myself,

567
00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:27,320
Speaker 2: And so I texted her and I'm like, you look

568
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:31,360
Speaker 2: really vulnerable and relatable, and I think that came across beautifully,

569
00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:34,760
Speaker 2: like you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I feel

570
00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:37,360
Speaker 2: like she had a lot of injuries and she's talked

571
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:42,120
Speaker 2: about them, you know, openly now. But she was dealing

572
00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 2: with a lot. We all were. And you know it's

573
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:49,440
Speaker 2: if people leave early, you know, then don't get to

574
00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:53,520
Speaker 2: the end. That's okay, that's just their path. So yeah,

575
00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:54,160
Speaker 2: she did great.

576
00:33:55,440 --> 00:34:01,120
Speaker 1: What is next for you? Like, what big giant risk

577
00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:05,200
Speaker 1: you're going to take next? First, the risked taking a

578
00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:07,880
Speaker 1: risk on love a long time ago.

579
00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:11,200
Speaker 2: I haven't looked at it like that.

580
00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:13,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're a risk taker.

581
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:18,480
Speaker 2: Ah, I didn't know that. I mean, actually, like I'm not,

582
00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:22,239
Speaker 2: but that's true. I mean, even like we did Celebrity

583
00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:26,799
Speaker 2: Marriage boot Camp and that was a whole crazy experience.

584
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:30,959
Speaker 2: Dancing with the Stars was not se Look, it wasn't

585
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:33,960
Speaker 2: even a show, you know. I just was like, okay,

586
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:36,560
Speaker 2: well sure, sign me up.

587
00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:39,040
Speaker 1: I wait, what season did you do of Dancing with

588
00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:39,560
Speaker 1: the Stars?

589
00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:40,600
Speaker 2: Number one?

590
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:44,120
Speaker 1: The very first one? Oh my gosh, I remember because

591
00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:47,840
Speaker 1: they sent out those mailers and you opened it and

592
00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:50,440
Speaker 1: it was like a twirling dancer. Do you remember, Like

593
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:53,640
Speaker 1: I was mesmerized by it. It was like a dance ball

594
00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:56,280
Speaker 1: thingy whatever that's called disco ball. I like a twhirling

595
00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:59,719
Speaker 1: dancer When you opened it was a great media thing.

596
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:04,680
Speaker 1: Well yeah, wow, you see you are a trailblazer and

597
00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:07,480
Speaker 1: a risk taker. Did you ever forget that.

598
00:35:09,719 --> 00:35:11,239
Speaker 2: You were on Stars? Right?

599
00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:13,320
Speaker 1: Yeah? Season five?

600
00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:16,760
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, you were an OG two. I love it.

601
00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:19,200
Speaker 2: It was a great experience. I don't it's not as

602
00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:23,080
Speaker 2: risky that you know, although it is like performing live

603
00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:25,759
Speaker 2: on stage in front of a national audience, so that's

604
00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:26,520
Speaker 2: a little crazy.

605
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:29,759
Speaker 1: Yes, it's it's equal like equally death defying to some

606
00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:32,080
Speaker 1: of us who don't like doing that kind of thing.

607
00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:37,200
Speaker 2: That's so true, It is true. Next, I feel like

608
00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:41,200
Speaker 2: I really just have to get through to the finish

609
00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:45,160
Speaker 2: line of you know, getting my kids off to college

610
00:35:45,239 --> 00:35:47,160
Speaker 2: or whatever they're going to do after high school. I

611
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:49,480
Speaker 2: you know, that's my biggest goal in life, is just

612
00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:54,160
Speaker 2: helping them succeed and be happy. And so right now

613
00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:57,719
Speaker 2: it's just kind of revolved around that I continue to

614
00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:02,799
Speaker 2: do my podcast and and just you know, work with

615
00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:05,719
Speaker 2: companies that I feel like are authentic to who I am,

616
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:09,680
Speaker 2: and you know, happily promote them via social media, and

617
00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:14,759
Speaker 2: then just hope that in two years or howeur many

618
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:16,760
Speaker 2: is left when my kids are gone, that I can

619
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:21,200
Speaker 2: I can figure out how, you know, how to truly

620
00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:24,480
Speaker 2: continue to get back to me and enjoy my life

621
00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:25,759
Speaker 2: with Ryan after they're run.

622
00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:30,880
Speaker 1: Oh, your husband is a risk taker too, He's a fireman, right.

623
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:35,000
Speaker 2: Very yes, it's it's who he is at his core,

624
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:38,239
Speaker 2: like running in when everyone else is running out, that

625
00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:42,400
Speaker 2: that's him. So yes, big time. He's always been a

626
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:46,319
Speaker 2: huge risk taker and I look up to that. And

627
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:48,720
Speaker 2: actually that was that was also part of the reason

628
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:50,759
Speaker 2: that I did the show is you know, they were

629
00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:53,640
Speaker 2: asking me when I thought they should be asking him,

630
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:58,040
Speaker 2: and I wanted to have him kind of live vicariously

631
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:00,239
Speaker 2: through me until they get him on the sho show.

632
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:03,200
Speaker 2: I'm pushing Fox, like, get right on the show. He

633
00:37:03,239 --> 00:37:04,200
Speaker 2: needs to do it next.

634
00:37:04,239 --> 00:37:07,200
Speaker 1: He'd be so great too, he would be so great.

635
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:09,160
Speaker 2: Yeah.

636
00:37:09,239 --> 00:37:12,040
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, it seems like with all that you've learned

637
00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:15,520
Speaker 1: about yourself in this new confidence that you always had,

638
00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 1: but you kind of had to rekindle and get back

639
00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:20,560
Speaker 1: in touch with you know, I know what it's like

640
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:23,200
Speaker 1: when you're a mom and you you give it all away.

641
00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:27,680
Speaker 1: And I'm so happy that you were able to find

642
00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:31,160
Speaker 1: that light inside of you and just let it burn

643
00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:37,080
Speaker 1: because you did a very risky thing. And uh, you

644
00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:38,520
Speaker 1: should be so proud of yourself.

645
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:42,400
Speaker 2: Thank you. I am. I'm proud. I even you know,

646
00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:45,360
Speaker 2: we had like a little reunion with all the recruits

647
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:50,040
Speaker 2: and the would you would you do it again? And

648
00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:53,160
Speaker 2: and I actually raised my hand. I know, I'm a

649
00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:59,120
Speaker 2: Looney Tunes, but because it kind of they were once

650
00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:02,680
Speaker 2: in a lifetime. You don't normally get to like put

651
00:38:02,719 --> 00:38:07,600
Speaker 2: yourself through these challenges and and learn more about yourself,

652
00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:10,759
Speaker 2: especially when I'm fifty two, you know, don't You don't

653
00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:14,960
Speaker 2: get those chances unless you really do, you know, take

654
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:20,320
Speaker 2: some risks. So I just thought, you know, yeah, sure

655
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:23,040
Speaker 2: I would do it again. Maybe I would rethink it

656
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:25,200
Speaker 2: if I knew where the location was and I was

657
00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:28,120
Speaker 2: freezing cold, because that would definitely be a crux for me.

658
00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:33,480
Speaker 2: But but yeah, it was. It was a really cool experience.

659
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:34,640
Speaker 2: And I'm so glad you're watching.

660
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:38,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've been a fan of the show since day one.

661
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:41,760
Speaker 1: More just like in awe of like what is happening

662
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:44,359
Speaker 1: right now? Are these people out of their minds? Like

663
00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:46,279
Speaker 1: That's what I'm thinking the whole time I'm watching it.

664
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:50,440
Speaker 2: Ah, we are a little bit. But if they asked

665
00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:52,399
Speaker 2: you for next season, would you say yes?

666
00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:59,880
Speaker 1: No? What part of that didn't you understand? No? I

667
00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:03,480
Speaker 1: will not do that. Also, I don't think I could

668
00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:06,800
Speaker 1: physically do that anymore with my I have two fake hips,

669
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:11,319
Speaker 1: so I can't imagine even being that cold, or you know,

670
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:14,600
Speaker 1: just be pushing myself to the point I just as

671
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:17,040
Speaker 1: I've gotten older, I just don't push my body further

672
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:20,279
Speaker 1: than I think I should. You know, I have to

673
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:21,960
Speaker 1: listen to my body so much more.

674
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's good, that's I mean.

675
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:28,680
Speaker 1: But the person inside me would love to make the

676
00:39:29,080 --> 00:39:31,640
Speaker 1: do that, you know I am. I love a challenge,

677
00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 1: I love a risk like that. So the person inside

678
00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:36,560
Speaker 1: of me would be like, oh, I really kind of

679
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:38,719
Speaker 1: want to do it. But then I would think about

680
00:39:38,760 --> 00:39:41,279
Speaker 1: the physical aspects of it, and I just don't think

681
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:41,760
Speaker 1: I could.

682
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:46,640
Speaker 2: Yeah you could, though, honestly you could. You'd be surprised

683
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:49,439
Speaker 2: at the kind of things that you can do. But hey,

684
00:39:49,719 --> 00:39:52,400
Speaker 2: if you know that, you're like, nope, and your gut's

685
00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:56,120
Speaker 2: telling you that, Like I actually went into it. So

686
00:39:56,239 --> 00:39:58,319
Speaker 2: I don't know if you believe in angel numbers, but.

687
00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:01,920
Speaker 1: I it was an angels. What's an angel number?

688
00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:06,799
Speaker 2: Angel numbers are like I would be really bad at

689
00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:10,680
Speaker 2: giving the other official definition, but the gist of it

690
00:40:10,719 --> 00:40:14,160
Speaker 2: is if you see like a number over and over

691
00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:18,239
Speaker 2: and over again, or like you see a number pop

692
00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:21,320
Speaker 2: up and you're having a particularly hard day or whatever,

693
00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:24,680
Speaker 2: it's a way for your guardian angels to reach out

694
00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:28,479
Speaker 2: to you and say it's okay, I've got you. Kind

695
00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:31,880
Speaker 2: of kind of thing, you know, totally totally. And so

696
00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:38,520
Speaker 2: I saw four forty four when before I was about

697
00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:40,840
Speaker 2: to turn my phone off. I feel like maybe it

698
00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:46,279
Speaker 2: was four forty four in the morning, and and I

699
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:49,520
Speaker 2: immediately looked up what four forty four meant, and it

700
00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:53,680
Speaker 2: said something about how your guardian angels are with you.

701
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:56,759
Speaker 2: They they've got your back, you know, they're watching over

702
00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:59,719
Speaker 2: to you. And so I went into the experience with

703
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:05,000
Speaker 2: a kind of peace in a way of thinking, I

704
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:10,080
Speaker 2: believing this that that God and you know, my guardian

705
00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:13,560
Speaker 2: angels are watching over me. And maybe that also helped

706
00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:18,080
Speaker 2: me too, you know, to not be quite as fearful

707
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:22,200
Speaker 2: knowing they they were watching over me. You know.

708
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:26,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, I totally believe in angels and angel numbers. I

709
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:27,399
Speaker 1: guess that's what you call them.

710
00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:29,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, go look at look at at that. It's actually

711
00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:30,160
Speaker 2: kind of cool.

712
00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:34,040
Speaker 1: Did you have your angels visiting you while you were there,

713
00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:37,480
Speaker 1: like pushing you or getting reassurance?

714
00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:41,960
Speaker 2: I did, And it's so it's so powerful to me

715
00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:44,400
Speaker 2: if you can tap into that kind of thing, that

716
00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:48,719
Speaker 2: kind of belief. You know, I haven't lost my parents,

717
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:52,160
Speaker 2: I've lost my grandparents and have had a couple very

718
00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:55,520
Speaker 2: close friends and close family friends that have lost and

719
00:41:56,120 --> 00:42:01,160
Speaker 2: just just knowing that or believing you know, I know,

720
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:05,080
Speaker 2: just because I believe, but I have faith that they're

721
00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:08,560
Speaker 2: watching over me. So yeah, they definitely I felt like

722
00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:09,279
Speaker 2: they were there with me.

723
00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:14,560
Speaker 1: I feel like I really started listening to that feeling

724
00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:18,240
Speaker 1: that you're talking about of being supported by my angels

725
00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:20,520
Speaker 1: or the universe or whatever, God, whatever you want to

726
00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:22,799
Speaker 1: call it. I had struggled for so long in my

727
00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:27,280
Speaker 1: life to find any kind of faith or belonging, and

728
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:34,000
Speaker 1: so when I started to develop that faith in something,

729
00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:37,960
Speaker 1: whether it was the Buddhist teachings that I was learning

730
00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:43,680
Speaker 1: or the angels that I felt and saw, whatever, it

731
00:42:43,719 --> 00:42:48,239
Speaker 1: is like, if it's the faith, it ignites something in

732
00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:54,160
Speaker 1: you and comforts you and pushes you, and just that's

733
00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:58,920
Speaker 1: that feeling of comfort I think that I was so seeking.

734
00:42:59,880 --> 00:43:01,840
Speaker 1: I found it in faith faith of something.

735
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:05,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, for sure. I feel like that's a huge

736
00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:09,680
Speaker 2: part of the mental struggle too, and that goes you know,

737
00:43:09,760 --> 00:43:13,799
Speaker 2: you don't have to be on special forces to use

738
00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:19,120
Speaker 2: this in your daily life, you know, mental setbacks, challenges,

739
00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:25,920
Speaker 2: emotional things going on. Faith has gotten me through a

740
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:31,200
Speaker 2: lot a lot in my life, and I I am

741
00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:34,120
Speaker 2: thankful that I had that to draw on for the show,

742
00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:38,080
Speaker 2: and I'll continue to use that you know every day.

743
00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:42,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's faith is amazing. It's right there accessible at

744
00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:43,560
Speaker 1: any moment.

745
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:46,320
Speaker 2: It's almost comforting.

746
00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:50,160
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, I'm so proud of you. I don't even know.

747
00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:52,160
Speaker 1: It's not my place to be proud of you, but

748
00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:52,680
Speaker 1: I am.

749
00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:54,680
Speaker 2: I know. At the same.

750
00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:57,399
Speaker 1: Age, I think you're amazing and I'm just in all

751
00:43:57,480 --> 00:44:00,360
Speaker 1: that you chose to do this, and you're such a

752
00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:03,360
Speaker 1: risk taker and a leader. That's a great message for

753
00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:07,040
Speaker 1: your daughter and your son. And yeah, I think you're awesome.

754
00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:11,560
Speaker 2: Right back, as I said, I've been such a huge

755
00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:14,759
Speaker 2: fan for so long, So thank you.

756
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:16,960
Speaker 1: It's been so nice to chat with you. Before I

757
00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:18,720
Speaker 1: let you go, though, I want to ask you, Trista,

758
00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:20,480
Speaker 1: what was your last I choose me a moment?

759
00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:23,520
Speaker 2: You know, obviously this show was a huge one, but

760
00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:28,920
Speaker 2: I'm going to say, like, just yesterday I went was

761
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:31,799
Speaker 2: it yesterday? Two days ago? I went and played pickle ball,

762
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:37,040
Speaker 2: even though my I think my friend, my kids were

763
00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:40,080
Speaker 2: needing to be somewhere, and I'm like, you know what,

764
00:44:40,280 --> 00:44:43,880
Speaker 2: this is my time. I don't schedule a lot of these,

765
00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:46,239
Speaker 2: but this is my time. I'll come pick you up.

766
00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:48,920
Speaker 2: You're safe, You're at a friends I'll come pick you

767
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:51,440
Speaker 2: up when I'm done, you know what I mean. So

768
00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:54,680
Speaker 2: sometimes you just got to be like, you know what,

769
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:58,640
Speaker 2: this is my time, and if you're safe and where

770
00:44:58,640 --> 00:45:03,520
Speaker 2: you you know, where you're okay, then I'm going to

771
00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:06,560
Speaker 2: put myself first. So I did that, and I feel

772
00:45:06,560 --> 00:45:09,839
Speaker 2: like that is so so important for moms out there

773
00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:14,839
Speaker 2: and caregivers just to understand that if you don't fill

774
00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:16,719
Speaker 2: your bucket, then you're not going to be able to

775
00:45:16,719 --> 00:45:18,640
Speaker 2: fill anybody else's. You're going to be empty, You're going

776
00:45:18,719 --> 00:45:23,000
Speaker 2: to be depleted, and so put your oxygen mask on

777
00:45:23,520 --> 00:45:27,839
Speaker 2: first and fill your bucket so that you can help

778
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:29,839
Speaker 2: out the people in your life that you're trying to help.

779
00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:31,320
Speaker 2: It's so important.

780
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:35,600
Speaker 1: Love that message. Thank you so much for coming on

781
00:45:35,640 --> 00:45:39,000
Speaker 1: the show and sharing your journey with us. You're inspiring

782
00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:39,880
Speaker 1: to all of us.

783
00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:43,719
Speaker 2: I hope. So you know, you always wonder like, oh gosh,

784
00:45:43,760 --> 00:45:45,080
Speaker 2: how are they going to edit it? And what am

785
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:47,720
Speaker 2: I going to look like? And are people like, oh

786
00:45:47,800 --> 00:45:52,200
Speaker 2: what is she thinking? You know, but no cares. Yeah,

787
00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:53,600
Speaker 2: I know it's true.

788
00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:57,759
Speaker 1: You you'd prove to yourself what you're capable of, and

789
00:45:58,440 --> 00:46:01,000
Speaker 1: it does not matter what anybody yel thinks.

790
00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:04,399
Speaker 2: Thank you agreed. I need to hear that good. Thank

791
00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:05,320
Speaker 2: you for telling.

792
00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:10,040
Speaker 1: Me we'll stay safe, be well loved.

793
00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:13,919
Speaker 2: Please please, much love,