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Speaker 1: My friend used my husband's spout to get pregnant and

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Speaker 1: didn't tell me.

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Speaker 2: I feel like that's the courteous thing to do, is

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Speaker 2: to at least let them know.

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Speaker 1: You got an extra kid. This happened about six years

6
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Speaker 1: ago now, and I'd like to share it with the

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Speaker 1: Okay fam Well. In order to tell this story, I

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Speaker 1: need to start at the beginning. This friend and I

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Speaker 1: have been friends since we were like six. We were

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Speaker 1: always together because our families were friends. Our friendship grew

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Speaker 1: stronger over the years to a sister like relationship, or

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Speaker 1: so I thought anyway. Our families even lived in the

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Speaker 1: same house for a few years when we were younger,

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Speaker 1: and we shared a bedroom like real sisters. By the way,

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Speaker 1: this comes from grumpy Granny twenty on the r slash

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Speaker 1: Okay storytime subreddit directly.

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Speaker 3: So direct from the source.

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Speaker 1: People used to tell me that she was a little

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Speaker 1: weird when I wasn't around. I used to get warnings

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Speaker 1: all the time that she would talk about me behind

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Speaker 1: my back, never consider us friends, but someone she would

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Speaker 1: hang out with when she was bored. Things like that.

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Speaker 1: I always ignored it because I loved my friend and

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Speaker 1: didn't want to believe she was awful, but in reality,

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Speaker 1: she was awful to my face often and I'd still

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Speaker 1: overlook it young and.

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Speaker 3: I, yeah, I can see that she.

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Speaker 1: Was also displaying jealousy and controlling behavior. Some examples are

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Speaker 1: when I got a job, it wasn't even that great

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Speaker 1: because she made more money than me. At her real job,

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Speaker 1: she worked as a housekeeper with her mom in a

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Speaker 1: nursing home. She was always in relationships that were toxic

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Speaker 1: and was always crying or complaining about it. But if

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Speaker 1: I said anything, her anger would be direct at me,

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Speaker 1: because I just don't understand relationships. She was only a

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Speaker 1: year older than me, but acted as if she was

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Speaker 1: my caretaker, and if I didn't do things that were

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Speaker 1: what she wanted, I'd feel her wrath or she ignored

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Speaker 1: me until I apologized for things I didn't even know

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Speaker 1: I did was wrong.

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Speaker 3: It sounds like a nightmare friend.

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Speaker 1: Very nightmarish. This behavior did not get better with age,

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Speaker 1: but I was blinded by years of friendship and have

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Speaker 1: learned very hard lessons. When I was twenty and she

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Speaker 1: was twenty one, she got in a relationship with her

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Speaker 1: now fiance, Caitlin twenty three female and it was all great.

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Speaker 1: They were great together and we got along. Then when

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Speaker 1: I got in a relationship with my now husband, he

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Speaker 1: fit into the little group gray and we all had

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Speaker 1: fun together. We hung out often and did a couple

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Speaker 1: things together all the time. I will add this friend

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Speaker 1: had a drinking problem since about sixteen. She couldn't function

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Speaker 1: outside of work without a drink in her hand and

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Speaker 1: was constantly inebriated, brutal, absolutely brutal. I didn't really mind

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Speaker 1: this because it didn't affect me, and when we were

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Speaker 1: younger it was whatever. We always had a good time

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Speaker 1: and sometimes I'd partake in inebriated activities with her and

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Speaker 1: it was all good. Until one day when I went

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Speaker 1: to hang out with them. I had just found out

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Speaker 1: a week before that I was pregnant with my daughter

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Speaker 1: and I was alone. I was about six weeks along.

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Speaker 1: She was one of the first people I told, and

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Speaker 1: I was over to celebrate the news with them while

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Speaker 1: my husband was at work. She was drinking pretty heavily

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Speaker 1: that evening, and we were talking like normal and making

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Speaker 1: jokes and having fun. Then she looked at me and said,

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Speaker 1: can I ask you something really deep and important? And

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Speaker 1: I said, of course.

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Speaker 3: Go ahead. That's what else are friends are for?

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Speaker 1: She said that since she and her fiance couldn't conceive naturally,

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Speaker 1: she wanted to do a She wanted a sperm donor,

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Speaker 1: but she also said that if they didn't have the

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Speaker 1: money to do IVF, that they'd have to save for

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Speaker 1: a while to do it. Then she dropped the bomb.

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Speaker 1: She said, do you think it would be okay if

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Speaker 1: we used your husband's sperm for our baby? Since we

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Speaker 1: really can't afford IVF, maybe it could be natural. We

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Speaker 1: could always save up if that makes you uncomfortable, but

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Speaker 1: it would take so much longer to have a baby,

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Speaker 1: and I wanted our babies to grow up together.

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Speaker 3: Did she just say do it natural?

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Speaker 1: If you do it naturally, how many times are you

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Speaker 1: gotta be doing it naturally?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? I don't know. This is up to a year

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Speaker 3: of Did she forget?

86
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Speaker 2: Like how like the baby just doesn't necessarily happen? Like

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Speaker 2: at one time?

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Speaker 1: Who knows? Dude? My stomach immediately turned into knots and

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Speaker 1: I just stared at her. I literally couldn't talk or

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Speaker 1: move in that moment, and just said what she said,

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Speaker 1: if it was natural, it would be with me and

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Speaker 1: I would make sure it didn't have to take too

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Speaker 1: many times to happen, so you don't get hurt.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 1: My jaw was on the floor. I just said, I'm

96
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Speaker 1: actually feeling a lot of nausea, and I think I

97
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Speaker 1: need to go. We can talk later, and left as

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Speaker 1: quick as I could walk. Oh my gosh. Yeah, I

99
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Speaker 1: got home and I was so shaken from that conversation

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Speaker 1: that I just cried and cried. It was probably the

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Speaker 1: emotions from pregnancy, at least that's what I'm blaming it on. Loo.

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Speaker 1: When my husband got home, I immediately told him what

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Speaker 1: she said, and he was just as floored as I was.

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Speaker 1: I cried in his arm and he held me all

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Speaker 1: night while he tried to get some sleep. The next day,

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Speaker 1: that conversation was the only thing I could think about,

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Speaker 1: so I decided I was done with her. I wanted

108
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Speaker 1: it in the friendship before this, because I was finally

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Speaker 1: seeing all the red flags. But this was just the

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Speaker 1: yodel that started the avalanche for me.

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Speaker 2: The yodel that started the avalanche. I'm stealing that. That

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Speaker 2: is so good, That is so clever, And shout out

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Speaker 2: to your husband for also being like appalled by this.

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Speaker 1: I texted her everything that was on my mind, all

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Speaker 1: the years of the thing she's done and said about

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Speaker 1: me or to me, the red flags I've seen in

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Speaker 1: the relationship, what she said the night before, and how

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Speaker 1: it made me feel. I told her I wanted to

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Speaker 1: have some time to think about what this friendship means

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Speaker 1: to me, and that I would likely not want to

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Speaker 1: continue the friendship and wished her the best. This message

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Speaker 1: was loud and thought out, and I poured my heart

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Speaker 1: into it while I was trying to see through the tears.

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Speaker 1: The message I got in response be get out of

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Speaker 1: your feelings. That's way too much and I'm not reading

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Speaker 1: all that have the day you deserve. I blocked her,

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Speaker 1: and my husband blocked her right away right there, and

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Speaker 1: was done with the relationship for good, or so I thought,

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Speaker 1: Oh my.

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Speaker 3: Gosh, No, no, we were right there.

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Speaker 1: So you get this long time's message and was like,

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Speaker 1: I'm not reading all that have your day?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, she literally hits you with your audacity too long?

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Speaker 3: Didner read you?

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Speaker 1: Thought I was done with the juice? Oh no, that

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Speaker 1: was just us because it got so much worse. A

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Speaker 1: year later, I glanced on my husband's phone when I

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Speaker 1: got up that morning because the phone lit up with

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Speaker 1: a message. Can anyone guess who was there?

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Speaker 3: With a Hey?

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Speaker 1: If you guess the see you next Tuesday, you get

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Speaker 1: a virtual cookie. I merely woke up and asked, one

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Speaker 1: why was she unblocked? And two why was she texting

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Speaker 1: him like they were buddies?

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Speaker 3: Oh? No, maybe you have a read a husband.

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Speaker 1: Husband.

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Speaker 3: No, no, he did the tactical decision.

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Speaker 1: He told me he didn't know that he will block

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Speaker 1: her again. I said, no, I want you to text

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Speaker 1: her and ask her why she's messaged you. He said

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Speaker 1: he wouldn't do that. So we fought for a while,

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Speaker 1: and I took the baby and left to my grandparents' house.

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Speaker 1: My birth giver was there. I hadn't cut her off yet,

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Speaker 1: but that's what I will call her, Stephanie Tyler looking

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Speaker 1: self and she was helping me to get to the

156
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Speaker 1: bottom of all this, not out of kindness. She just

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Speaker 1: likes drama. She got a hold of my ex friend

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Speaker 1: and asked her directly, what's going on. Ex friend proudly

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Speaker 1: omitted that she and my husband had never cut contact

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Speaker 1: with each other at all. As a matter of fact,

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Speaker 1: he would drop me off at work, then go to

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Speaker 1: her house and hang out with her and her fiance

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Speaker 1: behind my back for months. Another cherry on top.

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, that's horrific.

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Speaker 1: This has been happening even before I stopped the friendship.

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Speaker 1: They would talk about me behind my back while we

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Speaker 1: were friends, hang out with me without me knowing, et cetera,

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Speaker 1: et cetera. When we were friends. I would also wonder

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Speaker 1: to myself why she would give me weird looks all

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Speaker 1: the time when we hung out all together. And then

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Speaker 1: I knew why she sent my esso. So many screenshots

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Speaker 1: of these messages going back to when they first met

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Speaker 1: through me about two years or so. So now it's

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Speaker 1: the husband doing.

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Speaker 3: This to her.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm I'm taking I redact everything I said that

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Speaker 2: was positive about the husband, about the husband being a

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Speaker 2: w He's not, he's your husband.

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Speaker 3: Dang, we almost.

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Speaker 1: I was devastated, to say the least. It wasn't physically cheating,

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Speaker 1: but it was definitely a form of cheating, definitely more emotional.

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Speaker 1: Once he was cornered with proof, he broke and told

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Speaker 1: me everything and apologized for months and months. It took

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Speaker 1: me a very long time and lots of therapy to

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Speaker 1: change on his part to forgive him and stay. We

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Speaker 1: are still together and she has been cut off for

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Speaker 1: about six years now. It feels nice to let all

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Speaker 1: this out, even if it is to strangers.

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Speaker 2: Loo.

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Speaker 1: We are doing so much together these days and had

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Speaker 1: had another child together. He hasn't given me any reason

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Speaker 1: not to trust him. In the same time, we've taken

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Speaker 1: to hill. Thanks for reading, y'all, and sorry if it

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Speaker 1: was hard to read. I have ADHD in my mind

195
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Speaker 1: always is a jumble mess. This guy we all have.

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Speaker 1: Dad's good that you guys worked it out. I could

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Speaker 1: understand why the husband had a hard time cutting off

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Speaker 1: your friend because they were friends before. Edit to add

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Speaker 1: I left my husband for almost a year after everything

200
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Speaker 1: came out. I wasn't sorry at first because I stayed

201
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Speaker 1: for about a month after, but I couldn't take it

202
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Speaker 1: anymore and I left with the baby. He began to

203
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Speaker 1: ask and beg for another chance, but I wouldn't even

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Speaker 1: consider at first. About six months after I left, we

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Speaker 1: talked more and I told him my conditions for even

206
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Speaker 1: considering getting back together. The first was individual therapy for

207
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Speaker 1: the both of us, and the second was couple's counseling.

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Speaker 1: He agreed to both and we did individual at first,

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Speaker 1: and then we went to couple counseling. It was a

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Speaker 1: hard road, but we learned that there were many things

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Speaker 1: wrong in the relationship the way it was before, and

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Speaker 1: the counselor helped to break it all down so we

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Speaker 1: could work on it. They gave us tools we could

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Speaker 1: use to help, and it took a while, but it

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Speaker 1: helped a lot. After another five months of therapy and counseling,

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Speaker 1: I decided I would give it another go. He had

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Speaker 1: shown me what he did was stupid mistake and that

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Speaker 1: he doesn't forgive himself for acting the way he did

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Speaker 1: during and after what had happened. I still get a

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Speaker 1: little insecure at times, and he reassures me and gives

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Speaker 1: me his phone to put my mind at ease. I

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Speaker 1: told him that if I were to get any whidth

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Speaker 1: of that anything thing was wrong, I was leaving and

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Speaker 1: would never come back. I immediately will go into my hot

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Speaker 1: girl summer phase and play the field and let him

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Speaker 1: wallow in the misery of his own making. It's a

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Speaker 1: long healing journey, but I've had a lot of work

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Speaker 1: to learn to trust him again. Even if it's not

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Speaker 1: at one hundred percent, I still want to try and

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Speaker 1: make it work. Unless something happens, then I'm leaving with

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Speaker 1: or without proof. But I can prove you that we

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Speaker 1: will be live every weekday on YouTube at three pm PSD.

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Speaker 1: Just tap a profile. We have a little bit more.

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Speaker 1: They worked on it.

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Speaker 2: They did op did the work, the hard work, because yeah,

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Speaker 2: you better believe it.

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Speaker 3: That's not easy to do.

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Speaker 2: Individuals therapy and then couples counseling and then like actually,

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Speaker 2: because there's a difference between just going and then applying

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Speaker 2: the things that you are talking about and learning in

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Speaker 2: those sessions to your real life.

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Speaker 3: That's hard, hard work.

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Speaker 1: And as for the physical.

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Speaker 3: Treating, oh boy, I.

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Speaker 1: Don't think that's the case. My ex friend is a

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Speaker 1: lesbian and her girlfriend was always with them when they

247
00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:02,360
Speaker 1: hung At least that's what the girlfriends told me before

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00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:04,960
Speaker 1: I cut contact with them both. Again, I hope it's

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Speaker 1: not the case, but I'm choosing to believe it's not

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Speaker 1: unless something tells me otherwise. Thank you for reading and

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00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:12,400
Speaker 1: wishing me well. I appreciate you guys so much, and

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00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:15,920
Speaker 1: I appreciate you too. Yeah, I'm still hung up on

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Speaker 1: the physical cheating. This friend came up with the idea

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Speaker 1: to have a baby. Natural, I understand that, Like, you know,

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Speaker 1: the daughters. I feel like the daughters were just an excuse.

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Speaker 1: I don't understand it. It was just an excuse to maybe

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Speaker 1: try to sleep with your husband.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I mean it just it's not a

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Speaker 2: thing that you do. You just say that you're gonna

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Speaker 2: save up for IVF.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's you.

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00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:41,199
Speaker 2: Don't say that you want to like sleep with your

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Speaker 2: friend's husband.

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Speaker 1: Naturally. Come. I planned my boyfriend's surprise party on the

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Speaker 1: same day his friend planned his. Now everyone's mad at me.

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Speaker 1: How you gonna be double the surprise, double the fun.

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Speaker 1: That's what I always married.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, backstory.

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Speaker 1: I arranged a surprise party for my boyfriend and added

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Speaker 1: his friends into a group chat. I further asked them

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Speaker 1: to add any other of his friends they would think

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Speaker 1: would like to come. I didn't really know them well

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Speaker 1: at the time, but didn't know how majority of these

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Speaker 1: people would prefer having very detailed and set instructions on

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Speaker 1: how to do things in order to achieve a surprise party.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this.

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Speaker 1: Comes from Terrible Meaning four one on the r slash

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Speaker 1: ok storytime subredding so info. Boyfriend has two friend groups,

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Speaker 1: A childhood friends plus's brother B University friends group A.

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Speaker 1: Childhood friends are the type of people who have a

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Speaker 1: separate group chat and three discord meetings lasting way over

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Speaker 1: an hour each just to plan a weekend trip to

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Speaker 1: Codeham in d Mark. I didn't attain this information before

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Speaker 1: the conflict see below. College friends are the type of

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Speaker 1: people with all respect, don't fluss over the details, and

286
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Speaker 1: just like most people, do the planning. My boyfriend said

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00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:54,800
Speaker 1: he wanted to eat at this particular restaurant, so I

288
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Speaker 1: figured out that I could grant his wish by doing both.

289
00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:01,160
Speaker 1: Initially by gathering people in his cramped living room space

290
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:04,120
Speaker 1: for shock value, then together to walk to the dinner place.

291
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Speaker 1: But his brother said it wouldn't work because he suggested

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Speaker 1: to counteract my boyfriend's wishes by bringing my boyfriend to

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Speaker 1: his his place instead. Childhood friends suggested better ideas, and

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Speaker 1: it was a lot of back and forth. Sometimes I

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00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:20,520
Speaker 1: found it overwhelming to answer all the questions, Oh boy,

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Speaker 1: I already see the I see you. I took a

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Speaker 1: final decision and said we'll have the surprise party at

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Speaker 1: the restaurant at six pm. The restaurant gave us fifteen

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Speaker 1: minutes proper to pimp up the place. At that point,

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Speaker 1: I just decided to buy all the decorations to do

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Speaker 1: it all myself because I didn't ask them to neither

302
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,120
Speaker 1: split the bill nor help me, so I left that

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00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:42,400
Speaker 1: option open for whatever they feel like. I truly didn't

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Speaker 1: care as long as they showed up on time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the most important thing for the surprise parties.

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00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:47,880
Speaker 2: Gotta be on time.

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Speaker 1: Six pm at Dakota's Pizza Place.

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Speaker 3: Gotta get you, gotta be there.

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Speaker 1: Come on. Show up at five forty five to help

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00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:56,360
Speaker 1: set up direct directions the build up. I only had

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00:13:56,400 --> 00:14:00,360
Speaker 1: this banner left to put up. After single handedly blowing up, bluing,

312
00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:04,080
Speaker 1: and tying twenty balloons to the ceiling, I began stressing

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00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:06,280
Speaker 1: when I realized I needed help and it was five

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00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:08,480
Speaker 1: minutes left. I asked his brother, but he was too

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00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:11,520
Speaker 1: busy writing your card, and I asked another from the

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00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:14,880
Speaker 1: childhood Friends group, but he turned his back. The college

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00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:17,040
Speaker 1: friends came in just in time and offered some help,

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00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:21,720
Speaker 1: despite the whole Childhood Friends showing up earlier and witnessing this. Later,

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00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:24,560
Speaker 1: I found out that both groups had different experiences of

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00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:27,560
Speaker 1: the group chat and the event itself. Some of the

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00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:29,600
Speaker 1: college friends disclosed to me that they found some of

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00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:33,240
Speaker 1: the childhood friends somewhat cold. So the childhood friends didn't

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Speaker 1: grow up. They didn't realize that they weren't in the

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Speaker 1: center of attention.

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00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:41,400
Speaker 2: Jealous they like, why does our friend have new friends

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00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:43,040
Speaker 2: from college.

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Speaker 1: The conflict posts my surprise party. One girl in the

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00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:50,240
Speaker 1: childhood friends personally sent me and my boyfriend snaps of

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00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:54,200
Speaker 1: eighty percent of my boyfriend's inner circles friends at another

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00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:57,560
Speaker 1: surprise birthday party of his best friend. I know that

331
00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:00,240
Speaker 1: sometimes you sent a snap to all of your friend

332
00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:03,200
Speaker 1: in Snapchat without thinking, but these were more like long

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00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:06,120
Speaker 1: but videos of the same event. So I asked, how

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00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:09,160
Speaker 1: come my boyfriend is not invited. I didn't finish explaining

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00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:12,040
Speaker 1: that I would not take it personally, but if I

336
00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:15,840
Speaker 1: was left out, that's okay to only invite my boyfriend alone.

337
00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:18,680
Speaker 1: Then I started to overthink whether the fact someone got

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00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:22,520
Speaker 1: left out from my surprise party and asked another one

339
00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:25,560
Speaker 1: in the childhood friends about how come he didn't ask

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00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:27,880
Speaker 1: his friend for my surprise party. Did that make sense?

341
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:28,200
Speaker 3: Nope?

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00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:28,840
Speaker 2: Or not?

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00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:31,000
Speaker 3: That's what they said. That's what they said. That doesn't

344
00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:31,640
Speaker 3: make sense.

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00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:35,680
Speaker 1: Basically, someone got left out and got jealous. Yeah, I

346
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:38,680
Speaker 1: fed up big time by asking at all, because people

347
00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:43,040
Speaker 1: who take things personally will feel attacked. Well, turns out

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00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:46,200
Speaker 1: some of these people take things personally, so I apparently

349
00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:50,400
Speaker 1: started armageddon or whatnot by Loki asking questions on Snap.

350
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:52,520
Speaker 1: They chose to leak it out to the rest of

351
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:55,360
Speaker 1: the party and they all blamed me for ruining the

352
00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:58,800
Speaker 1: atmosphere without me even being there. They discussed how bad

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00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:01,920
Speaker 1: I was in my own surprise group. They just caused

354
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,400
Speaker 1: how bad I was in my own surprise group party

355
00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:08,200
Speaker 1: chats since they felt like I didn't validate their suggestions

356
00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:11,320
Speaker 1: and responded to slowly because these are the high maintenance

357
00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:13,880
Speaker 1: childhood friends are high maintenance. They're like, what aout this?

358
00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:14,760
Speaker 3: What about that? We should do this?

359
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:17,120
Speaker 1: We do that, And She's just like, I just want

360
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:19,600
Speaker 1: to have dinner with my boyfriend and have like a

361
00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:20,800
Speaker 1: dump found look on his face.

362
00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:24,200
Speaker 2: I just wanted to go surprise and then okay, then

363
00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:25,280
Speaker 2: we can just move forward.

364
00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:29,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, my boyfriend didn't defend me and said he asked

365
00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:33,400
Speaker 1: for an intervention. So basically me against eleven people from

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00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:35,960
Speaker 1: the childhood friend group. I needed time to work through

367
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:38,280
Speaker 1: this because I could wrap my head around this. I

368
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:41,400
Speaker 1: later agreed to meet these people in a neutral space

369
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,760
Speaker 1: to explain myself and my communication in a public space.

370
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:47,240
Speaker 1: The result they didn't want me to meet in a

371
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:50,400
Speaker 1: public space, and I felt I wasn't in the right

372
00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:53,520
Speaker 1: mindset to meet them at their space since I was

373
00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:57,480
Speaker 1: worried about two endings, one me getting run over and disassociated,

374
00:16:57,640 --> 00:17:00,400
Speaker 1: or two me shaming the whole effing group and burn

375
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:01,080
Speaker 1: all the bridges.

376
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:05,160
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, those are definitely two suboptimal results that you'd

377
00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:05,800
Speaker 2: want to avoid.

378
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,680
Speaker 1: They threaten that there will be a no next time

379
00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:11,560
Speaker 1: because one of the childhood friends had taken their day

380
00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:15,119
Speaker 1: off to discuss this. So my boyfriend responded with the group,

381
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:18,160
Speaker 1: I want to separate my lives for now. I wrote

382
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:22,040
Speaker 1: a reasonable lengthy post in the group chat to explain

383
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:25,399
Speaker 1: and express my opinions of this whole ordeal. In short,

384
00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:28,160
Speaker 1: I explained that I don't really owe people who talk

385
00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:31,000
Speaker 1: behind my back anytime of the day, but are willing

386
00:17:31,119 --> 00:17:33,840
Speaker 1: to meet you guys in a neutral space to discuss

387
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:37,000
Speaker 1: this and it is not even about me either, but

388
00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:40,159
Speaker 1: in fact that you were crap talking to me about

389
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:43,159
Speaker 1: one of your own friend's girlfriends behind his back. I

390
00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:45,600
Speaker 1: want you to feel comfortable with asking or expressing your

391
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:48,800
Speaker 1: opinions to me or him instead of assuming stuff because

392
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:51,480
Speaker 1: I know we are different people. I got no response.

393
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:52,320
Speaker 1: Well that's a group chat.

394
00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:54,400
Speaker 2: I know. Want to response. This is how old are they?

395
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:57,560
Speaker 2: Here's early twenties. This feels very very early twenties to me.

396
00:17:57,880 --> 00:17:59,560
Speaker 1: Thirty two male, thirty two females.

397
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:03,080
Speaker 2: Oh no, oh, there is way too much BS to

398
00:18:03,119 --> 00:18:06,399
Speaker 2: be dealing with the early thirties thirties are these people?

399
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:09,479
Speaker 3: These people are ridiculous the result.

400
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,119
Speaker 1: I think my boyfriend should have defended me from the

401
00:18:12,119 --> 00:18:14,919
Speaker 1: get go, but he tried to be diplomatic, so his

402
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:18,040
Speaker 1: friends uninvited me to one of their weddings just two

403
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:21,240
Speaker 1: weeks ahead. He said, I did everything worse by writing

404
00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:24,520
Speaker 1: that response. I think the crap talking based on miscommunication

405
00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:27,560
Speaker 1: and the withdrawal from the wedding invitation as a punishment

406
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:31,719
Speaker 1: and having passive aggressive partner revoked a deep childhood trauma

407
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:34,479
Speaker 1: in me. I fell into a deep, acute depression, to

408
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:36,439
Speaker 1: the point where I one day woke up with a

409
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:39,800
Speaker 1: total broken mind because I could have stopped blaming myself. Luckily,

410
00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:41,760
Speaker 1: my friends picked me up on the same day because

411
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:45,919
Speaker 1: I acted strange. Now I've severely scared my own friends

412
00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:48,640
Speaker 1: because I'm sort of the last person they would expect

413
00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:52,920
Speaker 1: that from. Since I've unerionically prevented others from doing the same.

414
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:55,880
Speaker 1: Am I wrong for defending and standing up for myself?

415
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:59,360
Speaker 1: And are the childhood friends what we define as bullies?

416
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:00,840
Speaker 3: How do I figure or move.

417
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:03,720
Speaker 1: On from this? Thanks for any reply, And by the way,

418
00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:06,480
Speaker 1: you can join us live every weekday at three PMPST.

419
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,560
Speaker 3: You just tap her profile we have an update.

420
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:09,560
Speaker 1: What are our thoughts?

421
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:14,399
Speaker 2: I definitely don't think you're the a hole for like

422
00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:18,840
Speaker 2: clearly expressing like how you felt in that situation. These

423
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,480
Speaker 2: people were talking about you behind your back, and it

424
00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:23,639
Speaker 2: always sucks to be like somebody's partner and then you

425
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:26,320
Speaker 2: find out their friends like don't like you.

426
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:27,359
Speaker 3: That's always rough.

427
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:31,720
Speaker 1: And plus it's weird that your boyfriend's not defending you

428
00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:32,160
Speaker 1: at all.

429
00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:35,840
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's this situation that's definitely a big red flag.

430
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:36,160
Speaker 3: Yeah.

431
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,240
Speaker 2: So it's like they've probably said some of this stuff

432
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:40,840
Speaker 2: to your boyfriend. Oh yeah, and he's like been like,

433
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,240
Speaker 2: come on, guys and knock it off.

434
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:42,920
Speaker 3: And it too.

435
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:45,160
Speaker 1: I want to underline that I didn't want to get

436
00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:47,600
Speaker 1: rid of myself because of one guy and eleven people

437
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,760
Speaker 1: that are not even my friends. It felt like waking

438
00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:53,000
Speaker 1: up to her nightmare, realizing I chose this partner in

439
00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:55,800
Speaker 1: the thirties and blame myself heavily for not making better

440
00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:57,919
Speaker 1: decisions At this time, I feel like I kind of

441
00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:01,520
Speaker 1: rebrest back to when I was kid and was severely bullied.

442
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:04,680
Speaker 1: And the title of the original post is my now

443
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:09,280
Speaker 1: ex boyfriend didn't defend me, so I defended myself. Was

444
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:10,199
Speaker 1: I wrong for doing that?

445
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:11,000
Speaker 3: So they broke up?

446
00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:14,879
Speaker 2: Okay, yep, it's good that guy clearly was not on

447
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:15,359
Speaker 2: your side.

448
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:17,520
Speaker 1: Oh heck no, hack no, And plus, like, what the

449
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:19,720
Speaker 1: heck with all these the childhood friends need to like

450
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,280
Speaker 1: chill out, just be true to you.

451
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:26,760
Speaker 2: That's right, You've got all this toxic baggage that were

452
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,080
Speaker 2: these groups of people. Now they're out of your life.

453
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:34,119
Speaker 2: Thank goodness. I'm moving away, but I'm too guilty to

454
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:37,480
Speaker 2: leave my friend's disabled son. When I was in college,

455
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:40,399
Speaker 2: I got a job looking after an elderly couple's middle

456
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:44,520
Speaker 2: aged disabled son, John on afternoons and some weekends. Okay,

457
00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:47,000
Speaker 2: John is unable to take care of himself and requires

458
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:50,000
Speaker 2: constant supervision, but he is an overall very pleasant person.

459
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:52,640
Speaker 2: I grew up with two severely disabled siblings, so I'm

460
00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:55,920
Speaker 2: quite comfortable with John. I don't have any formal caretaking experience,

461
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:59,360
Speaker 2: and because Jan and Jerry were retired, I was almost

462
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:02,320
Speaker 2: never complaly alone with John. They took on the heavy lifting,

463
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,440
Speaker 2: so to speak, but they liked to have me around

464
00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:06,760
Speaker 2: so they can have the freedom to run errands by themselves,

465
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:09,600
Speaker 2: go on walks, take naps, et cetera. Caring for John

466
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,479
Speaker 2: was truly a full time job, and hiring me helped

467
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:15,520
Speaker 2: to lessen the burden. They were extremely kind people paid

468
00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:17,840
Speaker 2: me well and treated me like family. Nice and by

469
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:20,399
Speaker 2: the way, this comes from user pickle the Sunflower on

470
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:23,280
Speaker 2: the r slash Okay storytime subriddity. So over time I

471
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:26,120
Speaker 2: grew very close with Jan, Jerry, and John. I brought

472
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:28,359
Speaker 2: over meals for them every week and we would eat together.

473
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:29,199
Speaker 1: That's so sweet.

474
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:32,520
Speaker 2: It stopped being about the compensation, although they did compensate

475
00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:33,160
Speaker 2: me generously.

476
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:35,600
Speaker 3: This whole situation went on for about four years.

477
00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:38,199
Speaker 2: Once I graduated college, I stopped working for them formally,

478
00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:41,080
Speaker 2: but still spent time with them regularly. Around this time,

479
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:42,359
Speaker 2: Jerry passed away.

480
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:44,080
Speaker 3: Oh.

481
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:46,159
Speaker 2: Jan and I remained close and I went back to

482
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:48,800
Speaker 2: assisting her with John on a part time basis, even

483
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:50,520
Speaker 2: though I had a full time job at this time.

484
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,639
Speaker 2: John is Jan and Jerry's only child, and all of

485
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:55,840
Speaker 2: their siblings are either dead or live far away. They

486
00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,240
Speaker 2: had many close friends from church and around the community,

487
00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:00,439
Speaker 2: but it was still difficult to find Jan the support

488
00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:02,560
Speaker 2: that she needed. About a year after Jerry passed away,

489
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:05,480
Speaker 2: Jan was diagnosed with cancer. She continued to care for

490
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:09,080
Speaker 2: John full time, even while battling cancer and undergoing treatment,

491
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:12,200
Speaker 2: but eventually, as her disease continued to progress, she moved

492
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,600
Speaker 2: John to live in a full time assisted living center.

493
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:16,680
Speaker 2: Towards the end of her life, we visited him together

494
00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:18,840
Speaker 2: and she expressed her fear that he would have no

495
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:20,320
Speaker 2: visitors and become depressed.

496
00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:21,359
Speaker 3: After she passed away.

497
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:23,960
Speaker 2: She asked me if I would continue to visit him regularly,

498
00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:25,960
Speaker 2: and I agreed. She told me that this was her

499
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:29,800
Speaker 2: only dying witch. Jan passed away over three years ago,

500
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:31,919
Speaker 2: and I've remained a part of John's life ever since.

501
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:35,000
Speaker 2: I visit his care facility that is over an hour

502
00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:38,000
Speaker 2: away at least twice a week because it is important

503
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:41,160
Speaker 2: to me to uphold my promise to Jant Why so weak?

504
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:44,000
Speaker 2: You're a person of principal ope, and I respect that

505
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:47,600
Speaker 2: you're an angel. However, my husband recently received a once

506
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:50,919
Speaker 2: in a lifetime job offer across the country. We're talking

507
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:53,680
Speaker 2: thousands of miles away. I'm so happy for my husband,

508
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:56,080
Speaker 2: but I can't seem to get this awful pit out

509
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,000
Speaker 2: of my stomach. If it wasn't for John, I would

510
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:01,200
Speaker 2: have absolutely no hesitation moved away, But I can't let

511
00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:05,320
Speaker 2: go of my overwhelming guilt. John really does have no

512
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:07,879
Speaker 2: other visitors. If he's lucky, a church friend will come

513
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:10,240
Speaker 2: by once every six months or so. If I leave,

514
00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:13,000
Speaker 2: he will be alone. Yes, he has his caretakers, but

515
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:15,200
Speaker 2: they care for dozens of people each day. Most of

516
00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:17,520
Speaker 2: the other patients in this care facility are far less

517
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:20,359
Speaker 2: amicable and pleasant than John is, so he has difficulty

518
00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:22,960
Speaker 2: making friends. The personal connection is just not there, and

519
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:25,119
Speaker 2: without it, I worry he will regress.

520
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:28,280
Speaker 3: Oh that's a lot. That's a lot to worry about.

521
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:30,720
Speaker 2: I really don't know if I can move across the

522
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:33,560
Speaker 2: country in good conscience, but I know refusing to leave

523
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:36,680
Speaker 2: could jeopardize my marriage. Do I have any options? Legally

524
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:38,600
Speaker 2: if I wanted to pursue moving John to a care

525
00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:41,240
Speaker 2: facility in my new city. Money is extremely tight, so

526
00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:43,720
Speaker 2: I can't fathom hiring a lawyer or taking on any

527
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:46,560
Speaker 2: personal financial responsibility over John. But I just don't know

528
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:48,159
Speaker 2: what to do. Sorry for the length.

529
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:52,280
Speaker 3: Wow, you're an absolute angel. Yeah, but let's get into

530
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:52,680
Speaker 3: this edit.

531
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:55,239
Speaker 2: Thank you all for the overwhelming amount of replies. I

532
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:57,760
Speaker 2: never expected this post would receive so much attention. I'm

533
00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 2: still sorting through my feelings, but I have to accept

534
00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:02,000
Speaker 2: that it would be crazy to put my life on

535
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:03,840
Speaker 2: hold j just to be there for John. Thank you

536
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,280
Speaker 2: all for the amazing suggestions. I'm going to get John

537
00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:09,600
Speaker 2: a tablet and planned bi weekly video conversations. That idea

538
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:12,480
Speaker 2: never occurred to me. We'll start video chatting before I leave,

539
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:13,879
Speaker 2: so he has a chance to get used to the

540
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:16,760
Speaker 2: new form of communication in conjunction with the usual in

541
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:19,040
Speaker 2: person visits. Of course, I'm also in the process of

542
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:21,280
Speaker 2: working with his church to find him more visitors. Thank

543
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:24,080
Speaker 2: you all so much. My husband thanks you. In response

544
00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:26,800
Speaker 2: to the question over who has power of attorney over John,

545
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:29,520
Speaker 2: to be completely honest, I don't know. I would imagine

546
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:32,000
Speaker 2: it's one of his answer uncles. That worries me, however,

547
00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:34,360
Speaker 2: because they are all in their eighties and nineties.

548
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:36,879
Speaker 3: I have a lot of unanswered questions about John's future.

549
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:39,639
Speaker 2: But I do know Jan and Jerry planned well financially,

550
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:42,120
Speaker 2: and he has a large trust. I'm going to talk

551
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:44,080
Speaker 2: with the staff at his care facility and see if

552
00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:47,120
Speaker 2: they can give me any additional information. And here comes

553
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:50,720
Speaker 2: the update. So far, everything is played out as positively

554
00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:51,359
Speaker 2: as it can.

555
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 1: For op I see some maneuvering.

556
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:54,159
Speaker 3: Yeah, that was pretty slick.

557
00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:57,080
Speaker 2: Last time I posted, I was overcome with guilt about

558
00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:59,480
Speaker 2: the prospect of leaving my disabled friend to move across

559
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:01,679
Speaker 2: the country. I honestly couldn't tell you the amount of

560
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:04,119
Speaker 2: hours I cried over the situation. It opened up so

561
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:07,200
Speaker 2: many cans of worms. Before this, I was living on autopilot.

562
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:09,919
Speaker 2: Coming to terms with the situation made me realize that

563
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:12,840
Speaker 2: I'm still grieving my parents. I still feel guilty about

564
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:16,400
Speaker 2: not putting in enough work taking care of my disabled siblings,

565
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:20,120
Speaker 2: therefore putting the burden onto my parents. Oh yes, there's

566
00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:22,240
Speaker 2: a whole lot that's being unpacked right here.

567
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:23,320
Speaker 3: Oh wow, I.

568
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:26,080
Speaker 2: Feel guilty about not visiting my siblings more. I miss

569
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:28,920
Speaker 2: Jan and Jerry terribly. I missed when I was younger,

570
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,280
Speaker 2: and everything seemed so much easier. I didn't want to

571
00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:33,720
Speaker 2: leave my home of thirty years, but I knew I

572
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:36,200
Speaker 2: had to. I was so scared of letting my husband down.

573
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:38,720
Speaker 2: I just had so many emotions tangled up in my

574
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:41,760
Speaker 2: promise to Jan, my commitment to John, and the prospect

575
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:44,520
Speaker 2: of moving thousands of miles away. I received so much

576
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:46,720
Speaker 2: great advice in my post. I know I didn't reply

577
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:49,480
Speaker 2: to most of the commenters, aside from a few special

578
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:51,720
Speaker 2: private messages, but I really can't put into words how

579
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:52,960
Speaker 2: much all the support meant to me.

580
00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:54,440
Speaker 3: It really helped me when I was.

581
00:25:54,359 --> 00:25:56,600
Speaker 2: In a low place. So here goes with the update.

582
00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:58,520
Speaker 2: My husband and I bit the bullet and made the

583
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:00,919
Speaker 2: big move this February where I left. I bought you

584
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:03,280
Speaker 2: on a tablet and we practiced video calling three or

585
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:06,080
Speaker 2: four times. Honestly, it didn't work very well. He didn't

586
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:08,679
Speaker 2: seem to connect with me as well through Skype. He

587
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:11,480
Speaker 2: was distracted and irritable, and he didn't seem to recognize

588
00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:14,160
Speaker 2: that it was me inside that tiny computer. The last

589
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,800
Speaker 2: time I visited him, I was heartbroken. I gave him

590
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:17,600
Speaker 2: a huge hug.

591
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:17,960
Speaker 3: And a kiss.

592
00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:20,800
Speaker 2: He's not normally super into physical contact like that, but

593
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:22,520
Speaker 2: he took it really well. I gave him a care

594
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:24,760
Speaker 2: package of some of his favorite candies and treats, and

595
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:25,840
Speaker 2: he was really happy.

596
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:27,120
Speaker 3: It was so bittersweet.

597
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:30,000
Speaker 2: I can't say I ever really felt confident in choice,

598
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:32,320
Speaker 2: but I can confidently say that you can join us

599
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:36,359
Speaker 2: live on YouTube every weekday at three PMPST.

600
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:41,359
Speaker 3: Just tapped the profile what a CTA bro paint.

601
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:43,280
Speaker 1: I was like, really connected with the story.

602
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:46,960
Speaker 3: It was smooth. Come on, it was smooth, and we

603
00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:48,200
Speaker 3: got a little bit left here.

604
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:51,600
Speaker 2: But okay, let's let's talk about where Op's at.

605
00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:52,720
Speaker 3: Did a good move.

606
00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:54,919
Speaker 1: I think this is what is best for you to

607
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:58,200
Speaker 1: grow as a person and going around the country. That's

608
00:26:58,240 --> 00:26:59,040
Speaker 1: just the best you can do.

609
00:26:59,200 --> 00:26:59,520
Speaker 3: You did it.

610
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:01,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's definitely a hard decision, and there's a lot

611
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:04,840
Speaker 2: different stuff mixed up into it, like your commitment to

612
00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:07,399
Speaker 2: you know, Jan, and then your own stuff with your

613
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:10,480
Speaker 2: own siblings and your own parents. And from my perspective,

614
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:12,199
Speaker 2: I don't think you've done anything wrong. I think you

615
00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:14,440
Speaker 2: did right by Jan and and by John.

616
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:16,840
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

617
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:18,040
Speaker 3: So let's finish this off here.

618
00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:20,920
Speaker 2: We continued with video calls bi weekly until about two

619
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:23,200
Speaker 2: months ago when I received a call from his treatment

620
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:26,720
Speaker 2: facility that John passed away after choking on a plastic

621
00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:27,560
Speaker 2: game piece.

622
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:31,959
Speaker 3: Oh oh my god. That's horrible. Oh my god. I'm sorry.

623
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:36,480
Speaker 2: That's Oh, that's horrible. I'm still utterly devastated. He was

624
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:38,480
Speaker 2: one of the most special people I've ever known, and

625
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 2: it's hard to accept the reality of him really being gone.

626
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 2: It's still a shock to me just typing this out.

627
00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:45,919
Speaker 2: I know Jan and Jerry believed in heaven, so I

628
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:48,000
Speaker 2: like to think that they are all together, happy and

629
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:48,520
Speaker 2: at peace.

630
00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:51,120
Speaker 3: Now I miss all three of them very much.

631
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:55,919
Speaker 2: Oh wow, I mean, is there is that negligence on

632
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,240
Speaker 2: the part of the care facility, Like isn't he supposed

633
00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:00,439
Speaker 2: to be in like a full assisted living scenario?

634
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:03,119
Speaker 1: Like, dude, I don't know. I mean game piece. He

635
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 1: may have just been doing his own thing, like a

636
00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:08,320
Speaker 1: like the recreational part, and no one was like right

637
00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:10,400
Speaker 1: there to see it, and he takes it off.

638
00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:12,120
Speaker 2: It might have been a hard thing to catch. Yeah,

639
00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:15,120
Speaker 2: it's terrible.

640
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:17,760
Speaker 3: Sorry.

641
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:20,960
Speaker 1: Oh there's more.

642
00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:22,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's just a little bit more.

643
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:26,760
Speaker 2: I can't thank this sub and my professional licensed therapist

644
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:30,280
Speaker 2: for the support. I know this is a really depressing update,

645
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 2: but I've wanted to thank all of the commenters on

646
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:35,080
Speaker 2: my original post for a while, and it seemed fitting

647
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:35,639
Speaker 2: to make.

648
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:39,680
Speaker 3: A final post. And that is the end one story.

649
00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:43,240
Speaker 2: I suspect that you are going through it, or we're

650
00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:44,120
Speaker 2: going through it.

651
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:46,360
Speaker 3: And I wish you all the best.

652
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:50,280
Speaker 2: In navigating the emotional mine field that you have found

653
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:53,440
Speaker 2: yourself in, and I hope that you can find solace

654
00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:56,320
Speaker 2: in truly believing that they're all in a better place

655
00:28:56,400 --> 00:28:57,080
Speaker 2: right now. They are.

656
00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:59,880
Speaker 3: They are there together together.

657
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:03,000
Speaker 4: My boyfriend and my best friend cheated on me. I

658
00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:06,560
Speaker 4: just found out. My friends all knew. I found it

659
00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:08,480
Speaker 4: a month ago that the love of my life and

660
00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:10,760
Speaker 4: my best friend have been having an affair for at

661
00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:16,720
Speaker 4: least the past year. That's devastating. After looking into it more,

662
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:20,600
Speaker 4: not only did all of our friends know, but they

663
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:23,360
Speaker 4: have also been actively hanging.

664
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:23,760
Speaker 3: Out with them.

665
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:27,400
Speaker 4: That's disgusting. I am a socially awkward individual, so making

666
00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:29,920
Speaker 4: friends for me is hard. I met all of them

667
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:32,600
Speaker 4: through my best friends, so I guess it's natural that

668
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:35,560
Speaker 4: they chose him over me. By the way, this comes

669
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:38,280
Speaker 4: from visual cow six five seven on the Okay storytime

670
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:38,840
Speaker 4: Separate It.

671
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,600
Speaker 3: So I hated all of them.

672
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:44,360
Speaker 4: I spent twenty four to seven with one of them

673
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:46,480
Speaker 4: when their parent died because they didn't want to be

674
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:49,320
Speaker 4: alone and were a danger to themselves. I was there

675
00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:51,880
Speaker 4: for another when her boss was harassing her and she

676
00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:54,640
Speaker 4: needed help finding a new job. I let another one

677
00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:57,160
Speaker 4: stay at my place for free for three months because

678
00:29:57,200 --> 00:29:59,000
Speaker 4: his parents kicked him out when he told them.

679
00:29:58,880 --> 00:29:59,480
Speaker 3: He was gay.

680
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:04,080
Speaker 4: All six of those a holes had been through so much,

681
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:06,800
Speaker 4: and I was there for every one of them. Now

682
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:09,080
Speaker 4: I realize they all just kept me around to use

683
00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:12,880
Speaker 4: me when they needed, including my girlfriend and best friend.

684
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:15,280
Speaker 4: I helped the man start his business when no one

685
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:18,640
Speaker 4: would invest in him. Still hasn't really taken off, and

686
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:22,040
Speaker 4: he still asks for my time to help him do things.

687
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,240
Speaker 4: I've been working day night to help her pay off

688
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:27,040
Speaker 4: the medical bills from her surgery after she had an accident.

689
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:28,920
Speaker 4: I've been out of the house for a few months

690
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:31,040
Speaker 4: because my mother was sick and I needed to help her.

691
00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:34,280
Speaker 4: But I still commute back ten hours every weekend to

692
00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:36,760
Speaker 4: make sure my girlfriend is doing all right. App you're

693
00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:39,680
Speaker 4: doing too much. I have gone through her phone and

694
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:43,280
Speaker 4: seen all the pictures, the flirty messages, and the group

695
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:47,200
Speaker 4: chats out all of them planning outings, meetings and whatnot.

696
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:50,960
Speaker 4: I've seen the disparaging messages about me, the I love yous,

697
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:54,560
Speaker 4: Oh my god, and then basically flip flopping between still

698
00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:58,280
Speaker 4: loving me, leaving me, not wanting to hurt me anymore,

699
00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:01,080
Speaker 4: and then realizing they need me, they all still need me.

700
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:03,760
Speaker 4: I was pissed, and I mean I was so angry.

701
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 4: I scared myself. The thing about being the go to

702
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:08,440
Speaker 4: guy for help and being the quiet one is that

703
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:11,440
Speaker 4: people trust you. They tell you things, things that can

704
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:14,640
Speaker 4: get you in a lot of trouble. Oh Dozpia have

705
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:15,720
Speaker 4: blackmail material?

706
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:16,960
Speaker 1: I know things.

707
00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:20,920
Speaker 4: I spent the past month preparing my plan, getting everything

708
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:25,320
Speaker 4: in order to absolutely implode their lives in a way

709
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:29,720
Speaker 4: you can never recover without someone altruistically help helping you out.

710
00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:30,960
Speaker 4: But who will help them?

711
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:31,840
Speaker 2: Not me?

712
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:34,520
Speaker 4: And they can't ask each other because they will all

713
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:38,200
Speaker 4: be in the same dang boat. Everything was ready. I

714
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:41,760
Speaker 4: had pictures, videos, and text logs. Oh my god, I'll

715
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:43,840
Speaker 4: be really at A receipt police would have been up

716
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:46,760
Speaker 4: in December. I wasn't renewing that I have a new

717
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 4: job lined up which would pay less, but I know

718
00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:51,840
Speaker 4: I will enjoy. All My main items were out, and

719
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:54,160
Speaker 4: the rest I didn't care for. I pretended to go

720
00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:57,440
Speaker 4: out to my mom's. I waited an hour and came back.

721
00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:00,240
Speaker 4: I could see them through the windows, him and her

722
00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:03,560
Speaker 4: cuddling and kissing while they all sat around chatting like

723
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:06,280
Speaker 4: it's a regular day. They were hugging and kissing each

724
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:12,480
Speaker 4: other in front of everyone. That's, oh my god, that's disgusting.

725
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:13,120
Speaker 3: No class whatsoever.

726
00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:15,760
Speaker 4: I took a picture of that scene. I was ready

727
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:18,760
Speaker 4: to send the text and emails, basically, ready to set

728
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:21,760
Speaker 4: their lives ablaze. But I couldn't. No matter how much

729
00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:24,560
Speaker 4: someone has hurt me, I can't be responsible for ruining

730
00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:27,320
Speaker 4: someone's life. Sure they did the things, and I was

731
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:30,520
Speaker 4: just unearthing them, it would have still been my decision

732
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:32,760
Speaker 4: that burned them all, and there would have been collateral

733
00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:36,040
Speaker 4: damage to people who did nothing. Ope, he is truly

734
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:36,920
Speaker 4: the bigger person here.

735
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:41,520
Speaker 2: You don't want to cause collateral damage with your shenanigans, but.

736
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:45,120
Speaker 4: It's like, damn, all of these people were terrible to you.

737
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:47,840
Speaker 4: I had come this far and had to do something, though,

738
00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:50,640
Speaker 4: so I just sent the picture in the group chat

739
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:54,520
Speaker 4: and looked in. One by one they checked the message

740
00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:58,280
Speaker 4: and started panicking. I guess one of them finally spots

741
00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:00,280
Speaker 4: my car and I see them all look at me. Oh,

742
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:02,920
Speaker 4: he's like in the window, just like hold aother camera,

743
00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:06,719
Speaker 4: just waiting for someone to notice him. I don't know

744
00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:11,520
Speaker 4: what was going on in their heads. Was it panic, regret, guilt, sadness,

745
00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:14,400
Speaker 4: who knows. I started my car and as I started

746
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 4: driving off, my ex came out, barefoot in the cold,

747
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:19,880
Speaker 4: moving as fast as she could in her state. I

748
00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:22,320
Speaker 4: don't know if she was crying because of guilt or regret,

749
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:24,760
Speaker 4: but I didn't care. I drove off to my mom.

750
00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:26,920
Speaker 4: They called me a bunch of times and sent me

751
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:29,680
Speaker 4: thousands of messages. I used to read all of them,

752
00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:32,480
Speaker 4: and with each one I felt less for them. It

753
00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:37,000
Speaker 4: went from asking to forgiveness, to anger to groveling, basically

754
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:39,479
Speaker 4: to questions about how they will do the things I

755
00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:43,080
Speaker 4: used to do for all of them so ridiculous. So

756
00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:44,960
Speaker 4: be like, how am I going to get to my

757
00:33:45,160 --> 00:33:46,800
Speaker 4: job if no one drives me?

758
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:49,120
Speaker 2: And oh he's like what, Yeah, They're like, didn't you

759
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:52,080
Speaker 2: know you signed up to be the group parent. You

760
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:54,360
Speaker 2: take care of all of us, and we do nothing

761
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:57,240
Speaker 2: for you. And we do nothing for you except clearly upset.

762
00:33:57,280 --> 00:34:00,280
Speaker 2: You just make you mad. I don't care. I'm getting

763
00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:02,520
Speaker 2: a new number on Monday. I still get a new

764
00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:05,680
Speaker 2: sobbing voicemail from my ex every twenty to thirty minutes

765
00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:08,359
Speaker 2: asking for me to come back. I get texts from

766
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:10,520
Speaker 2: my ex best friend to come back and beat him up,

767
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:13,040
Speaker 2: that he would sell everything he owns and give it

768
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:16,120
Speaker 2: to me. My friend's apologizing for their parts and wanting

769
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:18,680
Speaker 2: to be pals again. I don't know what drives this,

770
00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:21,839
Speaker 2: but they know. I've read some of them. I think

771
00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:24,799
Speaker 2: I'm over it. I don't feel angry anymore, and I

772
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:26,880
Speaker 2: feel happy. I didn't do what they did to me.

773
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:30,600
Speaker 2: It would never have been satisfying for me. And there

774
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:33,279
Speaker 2: is an update. What are your thoughts right now? I

775
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:35,600
Speaker 2: think the good move is to be over it. I

776
00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:38,640
Speaker 2: think it's just move on. I think their attempt to

777
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:41,080
Speaker 2: sort of I don't know, for him to be like,

778
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:43,400
Speaker 2: come here and I'll just let you beat me up

779
00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:45,439
Speaker 2: and I'll sell everything that I own. It's like, even

780
00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:48,359
Speaker 2: if they did do that, it wouldn't change anything. It's

781
00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:51,160
Speaker 2: never going to be back to where it was. Nothing

782
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:53,640
Speaker 2: fixes that that it would just be like, Wow, not

783
00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:56,080
Speaker 2: only do I have the trauma of everything else that

784
00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:58,560
Speaker 2: I've had to go through, but I just beat up my.

785
00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:01,439
Speaker 3: Best friend like and I don't feel good about it.

786
00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:03,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, weird, weird behavior.

787
00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:06,160
Speaker 3: Let them go. They're in the past, Now send them

788
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:06,799
Speaker 3: off to the sun.

789
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:10,120
Speaker 4: Anyone who is willing to lie for that long yeah,

790
00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:12,120
Speaker 4: is insane.

791
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:13,280
Speaker 3: Yeah about that?

792
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:16,040
Speaker 4: That's crazy. That's crazy behavior. And there is an update.

793
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:19,120
Speaker 4: Hi everyone, I happen to remember this account, so I

794
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:21,440
Speaker 4: decided why not update you all. First of all, my

795
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:23,680
Speaker 4: mom is doing much better and is preparing for a

796
00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:26,080
Speaker 4: five K. Her goal is to complete one by twenty

797
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:28,480
Speaker 4: twenty five. Thank you for all your well wishes. I

798
00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:30,319
Speaker 4: would like to tell you everything with me is going

799
00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:33,960
Speaker 4: great and I'm doing amazing. That my ex friends and

800
00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:37,440
Speaker 4: girlfriend are doing terribly and our destitute life isn't a

801
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:39,680
Speaker 4: movie or a storybook, and things don't work out the

802
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:41,480
Speaker 4: way we would like them to. Wait, no, no, but

803
00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:44,680
Speaker 4: it can't get pretty close to one. Oh okay, cool,

804
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:45,960
Speaker 4: I like the switch up there.

805
00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:47,160
Speaker 3: That was a double switch.

806
00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:50,279
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm doing amazing. My new job has been one

807
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:53,200
Speaker 4: of the most fulfilling experiences of my life. Since I

808
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:56,880
Speaker 4: stopped paying for unnecessary medical bills and rent for a

809
00:35:56,920 --> 00:36:00,520
Speaker 4: place I never really cared for, I've saved so much

810
00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:03,720
Speaker 4: money I decided to finally invest that money into something

811
00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:07,279
Speaker 4: worthwhile myself. I didn't hit the gym or anything, but

812
00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:09,680
Speaker 4: I did get some work done on my teeth nice,

813
00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:10,920
Speaker 4: get some in visi.

814
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:12,160
Speaker 3: Lines, some new chompers.

815
00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:16,040
Speaker 4: Oooh, they had some minor discoloration when they shaped it

816
00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:18,120
Speaker 4: for a crown and removed the layers. It looked like

817
00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:19,920
Speaker 4: it was painted with pepsi or something.

818
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:20,239
Speaker 3: Damn.

819
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:23,680
Speaker 4: It was a boost in confidence. I started buying more

820
00:36:23,719 --> 00:36:27,879
Speaker 4: and more clothes and building outfits. I started anti anxiety meds,

821
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:30,240
Speaker 4: which it brought me out of my shell. I feel

822
00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:33,040
Speaker 4: so much better. I met someone a few weeks ago.

823
00:36:33,239 --> 00:36:35,560
Speaker 4: We've been talking through text and it seems to be

824
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:38,000
Speaker 4: going well. I don't really know what's going on with

825
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:40,839
Speaker 4: the people I left behind. I heard rumors that came

826
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:43,600
Speaker 4: from a long chain of people, so don't trust them really.

827
00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:46,320
Speaker 4: My ex and ex best friend are having a baby,

828
00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:49,200
Speaker 4: which has caused financial issue for them with the medical

829
00:36:49,239 --> 00:36:52,359
Speaker 4: debt and struggling business venture, but are somehow making it work.

830
00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:54,440
Speaker 2: Good for them, I guess for making it work. But

831
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:57,240
Speaker 2: also good on you for staying away from that friend

832
00:36:57,239 --> 00:36:59,239
Speaker 2: group because now they've got a baby on the way.

833
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:01,120
Speaker 4: Oh, I realized he was talking about the girl that

834
00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:03,080
Speaker 4: betrayed him. But I mean, like, I guess, I was like,

835
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:06,439
Speaker 4: I love that. No, I'm changing my energy a little bit. Still,

836
00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:07,160
Speaker 4: like it's fine.

837
00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:10,520
Speaker 2: I guess people deserve to have their pregnancy celebrated. That

838
00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:13,720
Speaker 2: I suppose, even given the context. But good you forgetting

839
00:37:13,719 --> 00:37:15,800
Speaker 2: out of there before you had to deal with that exactly.

840
00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:17,040
Speaker 3: Imagine. I love that.

841
00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:18,120
Speaker 1: There we go.

842
00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:18,480
Speaker 3: Yeah.

843
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:20,840
Speaker 4: Another one of them has gotten engaged to his girlfriend.

844
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:23,239
Speaker 4: Last I remember he was single, so don't even know

845
00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:25,840
Speaker 4: for how long they've been involved. The one I housed

846
00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:28,319
Speaker 4: for three months is doing fine as well, but may

847
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:30,880
Speaker 4: have gotten an STD from one of his one night buddies.

848
00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:32,480
Speaker 4: I love that. I'm sorry, I don't love that.

849
00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:35,160
Speaker 3: I'm just one night buddies. That's what I love about

850
00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:36,400
Speaker 3: that is one night buddies.

851
00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:38,960
Speaker 4: I have no information on the last dude, so it

852
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,120
Speaker 4: seems like they're all getting their you know, their lives

853
00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:42,040
Speaker 4: are not doing that great.

854
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:45,279
Speaker 2: I think without ope, it would have been pretty been

855
00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:46,239
Speaker 2: a lot worse off.

856
00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:47,600
Speaker 3: That's where they're at right now.

857
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:49,880
Speaker 4: So a mixed bag of good for me and a

858
00:37:49,880 --> 00:37:53,719
Speaker 4: little bad for them, but not terrible, just normal life issues.

859
00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:56,240
Speaker 4: It's close as one gets to karmic justice. I guess.

860
00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:58,400
Speaker 4: The last contact I had with my ex was an

861
00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:01,960
Speaker 4: email six months ago. She detailed how sorry she was

862
00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:04,799
Speaker 4: about the fallout of her actions. She just fell in

863
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:07,719
Speaker 4: love with him while still loving me and didn't really

864
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 4: know how to proceed from there. Not like that, not like.

865
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:12,120
Speaker 3: How you did, not at all what you did.

866
00:38:12,239 --> 00:38:13,360
Speaker 4: That was the worst way to do it.

867
00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:15,960
Speaker 2: Actually, I can empathize with that, though, like life can

868
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:18,640
Speaker 2: get complicated and if you have real feelings for two

869
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:20,920
Speaker 2: people at the same time, it's hard to navigate.

870
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:24,240
Speaker 3: Just don't do it like she did. Talk to your partner.

871
00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:26,440
Speaker 4: It was a bad time for her, as she relied

872
00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:29,920
Speaker 4: on me so much. That made her resentful, and something

873
00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:32,200
Speaker 4: about being with him made her feeling control.

874
00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:33,600
Speaker 3: That's a terrible reason.

875
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:36,600
Speaker 4: You know what you can control? Joining us live every

876
00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:39,400
Speaker 4: weekday at three PMPST on YouTube. Just tap our profile.

877
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:41,239
Speaker 4: That's right, and there is a little bit left. But

878
00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:42,680
Speaker 4: do you have any closing fault?

879
00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:44,880
Speaker 3: I mean, you know, I will say this.

880
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:48,400
Speaker 2: I think it's probably a blessing in disguise that Op's

881
00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:53,280
Speaker 2: ultimate revenge plan sort of got, you know, mixed, because.

882
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:54,680
Speaker 3: It ended up working out just fine.

883
00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:56,600
Speaker 2: You're on the up, there on the down and if

884
00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:57,880
Speaker 2: you didn't have to go out of your way to

885
00:38:57,880 --> 00:39:00,000
Speaker 2: do it, and that stuff doesn't make you feel good.

886
00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:01,120
Speaker 3: On the tail end of it.

887
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:03,000
Speaker 4: There's a little bit left to the story. She ended

888
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,239
Speaker 4: it with how much she regrets her actions and the

889
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:08,239
Speaker 4: hurt she caused, but doesn't regret loving me or him,

890
00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:11,600
Speaker 4: and that she still loves us both and will always

891
00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:14,560
Speaker 4: be here if I need her. I never responded because

892
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:16,920
Speaker 4: there was no need. I can understand her perspective in

893
00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:19,520
Speaker 4: this doesn't mean I can done her actions, but I

894
00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:22,719
Speaker 4: can somewhat forgive her and move on from this permanently.

895
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:26,600
Speaker 4: Humans are complex, and so is love. Sometimes we hurt

896
00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:28,920
Speaker 4: the ones we love the most. While I don't like

897
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:31,680
Speaker 4: her or her actions, I do believe she loved us both.

898
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:35,320
Speaker 4: She doesn't seem to have any reason to lie anyway.

899
00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:38,480
Speaker 4: Se le Vi having a good evening, guys, and don't

900
00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:41,280
Speaker 4: spend your energy getting upset or anything on my behalf.

901
00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:42,239
Speaker 4: And that is the end.

902
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:42,960
Speaker 3: What a kind.

903
00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:46,239
Speaker 2: That closing statement so kind. Don't get any of your

904
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:47,800
Speaker 2: energy wrapped up in my story.

905
00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:50,480
Speaker 4: I forbid my boyfriend from going to a wedding with

906
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:54,080
Speaker 4: his ex girlfriend, especially since I wasn't invited.

907
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:57,440
Speaker 2: A guy just found out how girlfriends work. He's like,

908
00:39:57,480 --> 00:40:00,000
Speaker 2: I don't invite my ex, I invite the one I'm with. Now.

909
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:03,200
Speaker 4: For context, me and my boyfriend Sam have been together

910
00:40:03,239 --> 00:40:05,200
Speaker 4: for a year and a half. We broke up last

911
00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:08,320
Speaker 4: summer for two months, but got back together. During our break,

912
00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:11,279
Speaker 4: Sam met up with his ex girlfriend, Rachel, whom he

913
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:15,000
Speaker 4: dated for four years prior to our relationship. By the way,

914
00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:18,040
Speaker 4: this comes from Candid Plankton on the Okay Storytime severed

915
00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:21,920
Speaker 4: it so they only met once and nothing came of it. However,

916
00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:24,640
Speaker 4: Rachel still has feelings for Sam and was hoping they

917
00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:29,439
Speaker 4: would rekindle things. Rachel was enraged and threw a fit

918
00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:32,200
Speaker 4: whenever she found out that me and Sam got back together.

919
00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:35,239
Speaker 4: She sent him a lot of really nasty messages and

920
00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:38,440
Speaker 4: continued to do so for several months afterward, even though

921
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:41,200
Speaker 4: he never responded to her. Rachel and Sam both of

922
00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:44,759
Speaker 4: mutual friends who are getting married. They were both asked

923
00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:48,480
Speaker 4: to be bridesmaids and groomsmen in the wedding. In February,

924
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:51,359
Speaker 4: Rachel asked the bride if it would be okay if

925
00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:53,720
Speaker 4: Sam did not have a plus one for the wedding,

926
00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:56,400
Speaker 4: because she wouldn't be able to handle seeing him with

927
00:40:56,480 --> 00:40:59,280
Speaker 4: anyone else. I don't think you can ask that. Whenever

928
00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:02,360
Speaker 4: Sam found out out, he immediately contacted both the bride

929
00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:05,200
Speaker 4: and groom. They assured him that Rachel's request would not

930
00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:08,160
Speaker 4: have an impact on the decision for plus one. Since then,

931
00:41:08,360 --> 00:41:10,680
Speaker 4: she has still continued to try to reach out to Sam,

932
00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:15,040
Speaker 4: including going as far as contacting me via Instagram regarding

933
00:41:15,080 --> 00:41:18,400
Speaker 4: the upcoming wedding. She started to harass me and even

934
00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:22,200
Speaker 4: admitted that contacting me was for her own self gain.

935
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:24,920
Speaker 4: In April, me and Sam were both invited to the

936
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:28,640
Speaker 4: engagement party. Of course Rachel was there, but we were

937
00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:31,280
Speaker 4: having such a great time that we barely even noticed

938
00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:35,320
Speaker 4: her existence. At three am that night, Rachel texted Sam,

939
00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:39,120
Speaker 4: yet again degrading both of us. She told Sam that

940
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:41,200
Speaker 4: he was not going to be getting a plus one

941
00:41:41,239 --> 00:41:43,839
Speaker 4: to the wedding and did not make a fuss about it.

942
00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:47,600
Speaker 4: Like last time. I found the comment odd because invitations

943
00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:49,920
Speaker 4: had not been sent out, yet why is she the

944
00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:53,640
Speaker 4: one telling him this instead of the bride or groom. Regardless,

945
00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:56,759
Speaker 4: Sam finally responded to Rachel and told us to never

946
00:41:57,160 --> 00:42:00,680
Speaker 4: contact us again. Fast forward to the present day. Sam

947
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:03,560
Speaker 4: got the wedding invitation and it did not include a

948
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:06,960
Speaker 4: plus one. He contacted the groom and the response was

949
00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:10,640
Speaker 4: that they had to prioritize other couples who have been together,

950
00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:15,319
Speaker 4: longer lived together, and or both know the bride and

951
00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:18,000
Speaker 4: groom due to the budget. I know one hundred percent

952
00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:19,520
Speaker 4: that a wedding should only be about the bride and

953
00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:22,040
Speaker 4: groom and what they want. If they don't want Sam

954
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:24,960
Speaker 4: to have a plus one, that is their call. I'm

955
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:28,080
Speaker 4: not entirely convinced that Rachel did not have a part

956
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:30,800
Speaker 4: in that decision. She's a lot closer to the bride

957
00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:33,480
Speaker 4: than Sam is to the groom. So am I the

958
00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:35,840
Speaker 4: a hole for asking my boyfriend not to go to

959
00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:38,440
Speaker 4: the wedding without me? This would mean he would have

960
00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:39,359
Speaker 4: to drop out of.

961
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:40,200
Speaker 3: Being a groomsman.

962
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:43,319
Speaker 4: The only reason I felt uncomfortable with him going is

963
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 4: due to the relentless harassment about the wedding by Rachel.

964
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:49,000
Speaker 4: If she had been respectful and leftis alone. I would

965
00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:52,040
Speaker 4: have no problem with him going without me. However, that

966
00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:56,239
Speaker 4: was not the case. She has continuously disrespected me, my boyfriend,

967
00:42:56,239 --> 00:42:59,560
Speaker 4: and our relationship. She has no clue what a boundary is.

968
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:02,160
Speaker 4: Us want this to be over and there is an

969
00:43:02,239 --> 00:43:03,520
Speaker 4: update and I have thoughts.

970
00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:06,360
Speaker 3: I do too. What are your things? You both got thoughts?

971
00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:09,759
Speaker 2: I do think, especially because he's a groomsman, I think

972
00:43:09,760 --> 00:43:11,600
Speaker 2: if you kept him from going to this, it would

973
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:12,080
Speaker 2: be an a hole.

974
00:43:12,560 --> 00:43:14,120
Speaker 4: I think it would be an a whole move to

975
00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:17,279
Speaker 4: say you cannot go to this wedding, especially because he's

976
00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:20,319
Speaker 4: been so respectful about this whole situation. He's been like,

977
00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:22,400
Speaker 4: you know what, I'm cutting Rachel off. Yeah, I'm not

978
00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:24,840
Speaker 4: talking her, she texts me, I said, don't talk to me.

979
00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:27,160
Speaker 2: Ever, again, he's done all the right things in terms

980
00:43:27,160 --> 00:43:29,080
Speaker 2: of how to communicate with the person who's the problem.

981
00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:31,560
Speaker 3: The person who's the problem is not getting married. It's

982
00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:32,240
Speaker 3: not their wedding.

983
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:36,400
Speaker 4: This person is just extrasson. And I think that if

984
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:37,960
Speaker 4: if he doesn't want to go, that's a different story.

985
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,160
Speaker 4: But I don't think that you can not allow him

986
00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:40,360
Speaker 4: to go.

987
00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 2: You can't because also that means still she's winning then

988
00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:45,200
Speaker 2: if you don't allow him to go, Rachel just won

989
00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:46,320
Speaker 2: that entire encounter.

990
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:50,839
Speaker 3: She has power over your existence. This completely just.

991
00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:51,920
Speaker 4: Don't even think about it.

992
00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:55,400
Speaker 2: Irrelevant woman, Rachel is now going to dictate what you

993
00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:56,440
Speaker 2: and your husband can do.

994
00:43:56,560 --> 00:44:00,719
Speaker 4: Your relationship has lasted the test of time, so don't

995
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:01,120
Speaker 4: let her.

996
00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:03,040
Speaker 3: They are married, right, Oh he is married to this.

997
00:44:03,640 --> 00:44:04,480
Speaker 4: I think that's sir.

998
00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:07,839
Speaker 2: Boyfriend, never mind, but they're lasting. So I always either

999
00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:10,280
Speaker 2: assume people are married or too many assumptions.

1000
00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:12,680
Speaker 4: But there is an update. My boyfriend talked to the groom.

1001
00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:14,880
Speaker 4: Due to the budget, they had to limit plus ones

1002
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:17,440
Speaker 4: to couples who live together or who will be traveling

1003
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:21,080
Speaker 4: out of town to attend couples that live together. That's

1004
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:22,160
Speaker 4: such a specific.

1005
00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:24,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, it feels like a gotcha type thing that and

1006
00:44:24,719 --> 00:44:27,320
Speaker 2: it does feel like Rachel's influencing this a little bit clearly.

1007
00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:28,120
Speaker 3: I don't know.

1008
00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:30,759
Speaker 4: Yeah, it feels like she said before, I'm gonna make

1009
00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:32,360
Speaker 4: sure that you can't bring your girlfriend.

1010
00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:34,080
Speaker 2: It's not it's gonna be like we don't want anyone

1011
00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:37,040
Speaker 2: who's been living in sin or wait, is it the opposite,

1012
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:39,640
Speaker 2: they don't live Yeah, yeah, like.

1013
00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:43,319
Speaker 4: We only watch you or if you're living sin. I

1014
00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:45,400
Speaker 4: just think that. I mean, it seems like they said

1015
00:44:45,400 --> 00:44:48,279
Speaker 4: that Ope's boyfriend was one of the grooms men.

1016
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:51,160
Speaker 3: You should let him take his girlfriend to the wedding.

1017
00:44:51,520 --> 00:44:53,400
Speaker 3: He's your grooms men, he's one of the boys.

1018
00:44:53,520 --> 00:44:56,240
Speaker 4: The wedding is being paid for by the bride's family.

1019
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:58,760
Speaker 4: It seems like they had an input on who was invited.

1020
00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:00,920
Speaker 4: The groom did not know so the full extent of

1021
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:03,920
Speaker 4: Rachel's behavior towards me and my boyfriend. The groom was

1022
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:07,360
Speaker 4: also surprised to hear Rachel told my boyfriend in April

1023
00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:09,759
Speaker 4: he would not be getting a plus one, as they

1024
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:11,560
Speaker 4: had not decided at that time.

1025
00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:12,560
Speaker 3: Suspicious.

1026
00:45:12,719 --> 00:45:15,240
Speaker 4: My boyfriend did come to see that it was disrespectful

1027
00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:17,080
Speaker 4: for the bride and groom to not allow him to

1028
00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:19,840
Speaker 4: have a plus one, even if his ex was not attending.

1029
00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:23,560
Speaker 4: The wedding party should have priority over regular guests. With

1030
00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:26,640
Speaker 4: that being said, he does not want to completely burn

1031
00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:28,360
Speaker 4: a bridge with the groom, which I don't want that

1032
00:45:28,440 --> 00:45:30,840
Speaker 4: damnin either. We both agreed it will be fine for

1033
00:45:30,960 --> 00:45:33,600
Speaker 4: him to attend the ceremony but skip the reception. The

1034
00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:35,960
Speaker 4: groom said I would be allowed to attend the rehearsal, dinner,

1035
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:39,680
Speaker 4: and welcome party. As far as Rachel, my boyfriend plans

1036
00:45:39,719 --> 00:45:43,840
Speaker 4: to ignore her and immediately shut down any of her antics.

1037
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:48,799
Speaker 4: My boyfriend is truly disgusted with Rachel and her psychotic behavior. Ultimately,

1038
00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:51,520
Speaker 4: she wanted to break things up between me and my boyfriend,

1039
00:45:51,719 --> 00:45:55,320
Speaker 4: but she's only made us stronger. And there is another update.

1040
00:45:55,600 --> 00:45:56,680
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you guys.

1041
00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:58,880
Speaker 4: Are jacked in the relationship department.

1042
00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:01,959
Speaker 2: Your relationship has so many veins in its arms because

1043
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:02,960
Speaker 2: it's so yoked.

1044
00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:05,400
Speaker 4: You're drinking the relationship protein power.

1045
00:46:05,520 --> 00:46:09,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you're getting relationships steroids. Yeah as well.

1046
00:46:09,360 --> 00:46:12,400
Speaker 4: Kimberly Finan says Rachel influenced them, But they could just

1047
00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:15,720
Speaker 4: be hoping to avoid any last minute breakups that would

1048
00:46:15,760 --> 00:46:18,400
Speaker 4: waste a plate cost items. Like they've been together for

1049
00:46:18,960 --> 00:46:21,799
Speaker 4: some time. I guess because they did break up for

1050
00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:22,480
Speaker 4: two months.

1051
00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:23,960
Speaker 3: Oh wait, I forgot about that.

1052
00:46:24,040 --> 00:46:26,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is a little maybe that's why they're like,

1053
00:46:26,320 --> 00:46:28,839
Speaker 2: only if you're live in Sin, if you're committed enough

1054
00:46:28,840 --> 00:46:31,120
Speaker 2: to live in Sin, then you can come to our wedding.

1055
00:46:31,160 --> 00:46:33,239
Speaker 4: But it seems like you guys aren't willing to do that.

1056
00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:36,319
Speaker 4: But there's an update. The groom told my boyfriend months

1057
00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:38,720
Speaker 4: ago that I would be allowed to attend the rehearsal dinner,

1058
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:42,120
Speaker 4: welcome party, and part of the reception. We were told

1059
00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:44,319
Speaker 4: they would not be allowed to attend the ceremony or

1060
00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:47,200
Speaker 4: dinner portion of the reception due to the budget. After

1061
00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:50,720
Speaker 4: the formalities are completed, I will be allowed to attend.

1062
00:46:50,960 --> 00:46:53,120
Speaker 4: A week before the wedding, of the groom invited my

1063
00:46:53,120 --> 00:46:54,880
Speaker 4: boyfriend to brunch on Sunday, the day.

1064
00:46:54,719 --> 00:46:55,320
Speaker 3: After the wedding.

1065
00:46:55,520 --> 00:46:58,960
Speaker 4: He said it was going to be super cash thing. I, however,

1066
00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:02,520
Speaker 4: was not invited to this brunch. But that's even weirder.

1067
00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:05,880
Speaker 4: That's not even I mean, unless they're paying for the brunch.

1068
00:47:05,680 --> 00:47:07,400
Speaker 3: I would assume that secret brunch.

1069
00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:12,319
Speaker 4: My boyfriend reassured me he would not be attending without me.

1070
00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:15,359
Speaker 4: During the wedding versal, my boyfriend decided to double check

1071
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:17,480
Speaker 4: with the groom about me coming to the versal dinner.

1072
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:20,840
Speaker 4: Turns out I had been uninvited.

1073
00:47:20,120 --> 00:47:22,840
Speaker 3: From the dinner. Oh so now you're uninvited from everything.

1074
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:25,640
Speaker 4: Twice Opie has been told that she was allowed to

1075
00:47:25,640 --> 00:47:26,480
Speaker 4: come to these events and.

1076
00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:27,239
Speaker 3: Is being uninvited.

1077
00:47:27,360 --> 00:47:29,400
Speaker 2: Okay, I think at this point, if you're the husband,

1078
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:32,279
Speaker 2: you gotta not go out of on principle, being like,

1079
00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:34,920
Speaker 2: why are you guys? Oh, the boyfriend, the boyfriend. I

1080
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:37,920
Speaker 2: keep assuming that these people are married. I keep assuming

1081
00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:40,759
Speaker 2: that they're married. They're acting they're not even living in sin.

1082
00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:42,680
Speaker 4: They're not well, would it be living in sin if

1083
00:47:42,680 --> 00:47:42,960
Speaker 4: they were?

1084
00:47:43,280 --> 00:47:46,040
Speaker 3: Okay, this is a really hard spot to be in. Yeah,

1085
00:47:46,080 --> 00:47:47,680
Speaker 3: I am picking between the guy, get.

1086
00:47:47,520 --> 00:47:50,719
Speaker 2: Married, your buddy, your homie, and like, they're clearly disrespecting

1087
00:47:50,719 --> 00:47:51,400
Speaker 2: your girlfriend.

1088
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:54,040
Speaker 4: Oh, that's a rough spot to be in iteat. Turns

1089
00:47:54,080 --> 00:47:56,560
Speaker 4: out I had been uninvited from the dinner. We were

1090
00:47:56,600 --> 00:48:01,040
Speaker 4: informed of this thirty minutes before the start. That's that's ridiculous.

1091
00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:04,879
Speaker 4: That's ridiculous. Oh, the groom told my boyfriend I did

1092
00:48:04,880 --> 00:48:06,360
Speaker 4: not have a seat, but he would love to have

1093
00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:09,440
Speaker 4: me at the welcome party. Afterward, my boyfriend skipped the

1094
00:48:09,520 --> 00:48:13,200
Speaker 4: rehearsal dinner. This boyfriend is great.

1095
00:48:13,120 --> 00:48:14,439
Speaker 3: Check in every box. Right.

1096
00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:17,200
Speaker 4: We ended up going to a local bar until the

1097
00:48:17,239 --> 00:48:20,040
Speaker 4: welcome party started. Once we got to the welcome party,

1098
00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:22,919
Speaker 4: the groom came up to me and apologized for the politics,

1099
00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:26,680
Speaker 4: which sounds less like a budget issue and more like

1100
00:48:26,800 --> 00:48:27,440
Speaker 4: Rachel was.

1101
00:48:27,400 --> 00:48:28,040
Speaker 3: Throwing a fix.

1102
00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:30,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, it sounds like You've just let the cat out

1103
00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:31,120
Speaker 2: of the.

1104
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:33,800
Speaker 4: Bear, like you just said something you didn't mean to say.

1105
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:36,160
Speaker 4: He told me he was happy I was there and

1106
00:48:36,200 --> 00:48:38,799
Speaker 4: looked forward to having me at the reception tomorrow. Two

1107
00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:41,480
Speaker 4: people commented on us missing reversal dinner, but I just

1108
00:48:41,560 --> 00:48:44,600
Speaker 4: changed the subject. After the welcome party ended, we all

1109
00:48:44,719 --> 00:48:47,200
Speaker 4: rallied to a bar close by. I was standing at

1110
00:48:47,200 --> 00:48:49,560
Speaker 4: the bar talking to one of the guests when the

1111
00:48:49,640 --> 00:48:53,960
Speaker 4: bride inputed herself into our conversation. The bride would only

1112
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:56,399
Speaker 4: look at and talk to the other girl, even though

1113
00:48:56,440 --> 00:48:59,040
Speaker 4: I was adding input into the conversation. It was just

1114
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:02,880
Speaker 4: like the interview who could de flaw Did with Blake Lively.

1115
00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:05,880
Speaker 4: I felt so uncomfortable that I ended up walking away.

1116
00:49:06,280 --> 00:49:08,200
Speaker 4: The next day before the wedding, I met up for

1117
00:49:08,239 --> 00:49:10,960
Speaker 4: brunch with the girl. She informed me that as soon

1118
00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:14,680
Speaker 4: as I walked away, the bride started talking crap about me.

1119
00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:17,440
Speaker 4: The bride told her I was originally invited to the wedding,

1120
00:49:17,560 --> 00:49:20,239
Speaker 4: but that Rachel, my boyfriend's ex, said she would not

1121
00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:22,960
Speaker 4: be able to handle it. Rachel figure it out. The

1122
00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:24,960
Speaker 4: girl said it seemed like the bride was trying to

1123
00:49:24,960 --> 00:49:26,759
Speaker 4: get her to not be friends with me and to

1124
00:49:26,880 --> 00:49:29,440
Speaker 4: exclude me. She said it seemed like the bride was

1125
00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:31,440
Speaker 4: trying to get her to take Rachel's side as well.

1126
00:49:31,680 --> 00:49:33,799
Speaker 4: The bride admitted she was being petty, but that she

1127
00:49:33,880 --> 00:49:36,600
Speaker 4: just didn't care. Mind you, I had just met this

1128
00:49:36,600 --> 00:49:39,080
Speaker 4: girl and we were just casually chatting at the bar.

1129
00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:42,200
Speaker 4: Why the bride wanted to focus on causing drama and

1130
00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:45,440
Speaker 4: excluding me the night before her wedding is beyond me,

1131
00:49:45,800 --> 00:49:48,160
Speaker 4: My girl, focus on getting married. You need to focus

1132
00:49:48,239 --> 00:49:50,880
Speaker 4: on your wedding. Around eight pm is when all the

1133
00:49:50,880 --> 00:49:53,280
Speaker 4: formalities were finished and I was able to attend.

1134
00:49:53,480 --> 00:49:54,319
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna lie.

1135
00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:58,000
Speaker 4: Dancing with my boyfriend in front of his ex girlfriend

1136
00:49:58,040 --> 00:49:59,799
Speaker 4: felt extremely good.

1137
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:00,680
Speaker 3: I love that for you.

1138
00:50:00,880 --> 00:50:02,920
Speaker 4: I swear we did not do it on purpose, but

1139
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:05,720
Speaker 4: wherever his ex went, we were always right there.

1140
00:50:05,840 --> 00:50:06,359
Speaker 3: She could not.

1141
00:50:06,320 --> 00:50:08,680
Speaker 4: Avoid us even if she tried. At one point, the

1142
00:50:08,680 --> 00:50:10,840
Speaker 4: brian and groom were in the center dancing. I was

1143
00:50:11,040 --> 00:50:13,479
Speaker 4: directly across from his ex in her line of sight.

1144
00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:16,200
Speaker 4: She completely turned her back just so that she couldn't

1145
00:50:16,200 --> 00:50:19,120
Speaker 4: see me, even though everyone else was facing forward. The

1146
00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:21,399
Speaker 4: only people who would talk to us were the other

1147
00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:24,840
Speaker 4: groomsmen and their dates. We ended up telling several of

1148
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:27,400
Speaker 4: them the full story because they had no idea, So

1149
00:50:27,480 --> 00:50:30,439
Speaker 4: the whole night felt like sweet revenge. I will say

1150
00:50:30,480 --> 00:50:32,840
Speaker 4: many times the groom came up to me and said

1151
00:50:33,040 --> 00:50:35,640
Speaker 4: he was happy I was there. Whether he meant it

1152
00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:38,160
Speaker 4: or it was performative, I have no idea. I also

1153
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:40,440
Speaker 4: don't care at this point. The only reason my boyfriend

1154
00:50:40,480 --> 00:50:42,359
Speaker 4: did not drop out of the wedding was because we

1155
00:50:42,360 --> 00:50:44,720
Speaker 4: were told I was not invited due to the budget.

1156
00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:47,120
Speaker 4: We were assured several times that I had nothing to

1157
00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:49,120
Speaker 4: do with the ax, which we now know is not true.

1158
00:50:49,200 --> 00:50:51,600
Speaker 4: If my boyfriend had been given the full truth.

1159
00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:52,359
Speaker 3: He would have dropped out.

1160
00:50:52,600 --> 00:50:55,520
Speaker 4: Yes, we know this because the boyfriend stands on business.

1161
00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:57,440
Speaker 3: On the business at all times.

1162
00:50:57,640 --> 00:51:00,439
Speaker 4: Whenever I found out the truth, it was already too late. Yeah,

1163
00:51:00,440 --> 00:51:02,160
Speaker 4: because they told you thirty minutes before the thing.

1164
00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:03,560
Speaker 3: They tried their best to ruin it.

1165
00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:05,719
Speaker 2: But you know who's really been coming in clutches all

1166
00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:08,200
Speaker 2: the groomsman, the boyfriend, all the boys.

1167
00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:10,000
Speaker 3: The boys are coming in boys story.

1168
00:51:10,120 --> 00:51:12,000
Speaker 4: They know how to do it. My boyfriend was at

1169
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,560
Speaker 4: the event at the venue taking pictures, and the wedding

1170
00:51:14,640 --> 00:51:18,000
Speaker 4: was starting in an hour, and you know what started

1171
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:21,120
Speaker 4: an hour ago this live and you can join us

1172
00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:24,200
Speaker 4: live every weekday at three PMPSD on YouTube. Just tab

1173
00:51:24,239 --> 00:51:26,680
Speaker 4: our profile. Once the couple gets back from their honeymoon,

1174
00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:29,200
Speaker 4: I and my boyfriend plan on having a conversation with

1175
00:51:29,280 --> 00:51:33,080
Speaker 4: the groom. My boyfriend said he will be reevaluating their

1176
00:51:33,120 --> 00:51:36,400
Speaker 4: friendship and that is the end of that story. I

1177
00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:38,960
Speaker 4: think that's very fair. I think we have Ope and

1178
00:51:39,080 --> 00:51:42,360
Speaker 4: her excellent boyfriend, who, as we said, stood on that business,

1179
00:51:42,440 --> 00:51:44,919
Speaker 4: and we have a groomsman at a bridesmaid who are

1180
00:51:44,960 --> 00:51:48,280
Speaker 4: just caring about Rachel and her problems and not about

1181
00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:50,000
Speaker 4: the groomsman Opie's boyfriend.

1182
00:51:50,200 --> 00:51:51,799
Speaker 3: So we don't need them. We don't want them, don't

1183
00:51:51,800 --> 00:51:52,200
Speaker 3: need them.