1 00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:04,160 Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio 2 00:00:04,280 --> 00:00:07,600 Speaker 1: and two times People's Choice Award winning podcasts. 3 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:13,960 Speaker 2: Right, hello everybody, we are scrubbing in. 4 00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:19,000 Speaker 1: Hey everyone, everyone. 5 00:00:19,079 --> 00:00:20,520 Speaker 3: We are scrubbing. 6 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,360 Speaker 4: Yeah, we need to replace it with something. 7 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:31,080 Speaker 2: Really, But if I'm like hello Tanya, Hello Becca, Hello. 8 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:42,400 Speaker 3: Easton, Hello Mark, could we'll continue to work on it? 9 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:43,680 Speaker 5: Is that a dog? 10 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:49,440 Speaker 1: No, just a bark? 11 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:53,440 Speaker 2: I was like, no, the whole point is I can't 12 00:00:53,479 --> 00:00:55,520 Speaker 2: get off of the podcast. 13 00:00:57,040 --> 00:00:58,600 Speaker 4: It's time for scrubbing. 14 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:00,920 Speaker 1: In the o R. 15 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:06,800 Speaker 3: I want to join us and don't go too far. 16 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:11,800 Speaker 4: All right, no more submissions. 17 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:14,920 Speaker 2: We have a winner, just stolen from one of the 18 00:01:14,959 --> 00:01:16,560 Speaker 2: most iconic films. 19 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:20,840 Speaker 1: My favorite messages from somebody that was like, does scrubbing 20 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:23,320 Speaker 1: and have like a budget? I feel like they have 21 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:26,840 Speaker 1: an outdated jingle. They haven't outdated this. They don't have 22 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,680 Speaker 1: mic flags, they don't have whatever. I was like, dang, 23 00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:34,920 Speaker 1: the answer is no, I sent you. Did I send 24 00:01:34,959 --> 00:01:35,399 Speaker 1: you that screen? 25 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:44,360 Speaker 5: It was like, yeah, we have a Dear Bonnia episode today, Yes. 26 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:47,520 Speaker 4: We do, and I want to start us off with 27 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:49,840 Speaker 4: my Dear Bonia. I don't even know where I saw this. 28 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:52,240 Speaker 4: Mobe's in our prep you might have seen it too. Anyway, 29 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:54,280 Speaker 4: I thought this is a funny question. So would you rather, 30 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:57,080 Speaker 4: but you have to one of these has to happen. 31 00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:04,200 Speaker 4: Would you rather walk in on your parents in bed together? 32 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:07,440 Speaker 4: Or have them walk in on you in bed together? 33 00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:08,600 Speaker 1: Have them walk in on me. 34 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:10,400 Speaker 4: Like, but not just in bed together like? 35 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:16,040 Speaker 1: Yes you would? Yes, much better for me personally. 36 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:22,519 Speaker 3: All right, Becca, this is really unfortunate. I think I'd 37 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:23,720 Speaker 3: rather walk in on them. 38 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:31,160 Speaker 1: Oh dang, why, I know, like a perverted answer. Really, yeah, 39 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:32,720 Speaker 1: I think. 40 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,840 Speaker 3: It's more perverted for them to want to walk in 41 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:36,639 Speaker 3: on me doing it. 42 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:40,880 Speaker 6: I don't nobody wants this to happen, it's just this happens. 43 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:44,960 Speaker 2: I think I'd be able to like process it and 44 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:47,360 Speaker 2: move on easier than they would. 45 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:51,320 Speaker 4: I think I agree, yes, because it feels like the 46 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:54,200 Speaker 4: awkwardness it was gonna be awkwardness either way. 47 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:57,040 Speaker 1: I guess, Mark, this is a horrible question. 48 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:05,000 Speaker 4: Are the conversation I saw the summer I saw. 49 00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:07,440 Speaker 3: Taking a step further? What position? 50 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:17,360 Speaker 4: All right, fine, let's just going to the normal deer bond. 51 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:24,800 Speaker 6: Yeah, just move on, let's move on. Answer please, I 52 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:27,480 Speaker 6: guess I'd rather have them walking on me. 53 00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:28,280 Speaker 1: Yeah? 54 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:32,800 Speaker 6: Better because since we didn't say what position, maybe me 55 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:36,600 Speaker 6: and my wife are just holding hands all right? 56 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:37,520 Speaker 4: It was a split decision. 57 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:42,480 Speaker 3: Better like doing like you know you're. 58 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:45,560 Speaker 6: Actually like mid coitus? 59 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:49,400 Speaker 3: Yes, you are just holding hands? 60 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:53,600 Speaker 6: Isn't that how it's? Is there another way? 61 00:03:53,880 --> 00:04:01,760 Speaker 4: Yes? Childless From Anika High, Banya and Meston Day one 62 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:03,920 Speaker 4: scrubbery here, I just want to start saying thank you 63 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:06,520 Speaker 4: for making me laugh every week. I truly admire the 64 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:09,040 Speaker 4: relationships you all have with your significant others. I'm going 65 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,680 Speaker 4: through a breakup after five years and now I'm thirty. 66 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:14,120 Speaker 4: I'm trying to reflect them, but I want moving forward. 67 00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:16,640 Speaker 4: My question is, how do you actually know when someone 68 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:19,919 Speaker 4: is the one? People always say when you know, you know, 69 00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:21,760 Speaker 4: but I'd love to hear your take on it. Becca 70 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:24,440 Speaker 4: and Tanya. You both seem so happy in your relationships, 71 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:26,000 Speaker 4: and I love how you talk about your partners with 72 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:28,560 Speaker 4: so much love and respect. It's inspiring and makes me 73 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:30,320 Speaker 4: want to hold out for that kind of connection and 74 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:32,719 Speaker 4: not settle. You also seem like you never get sick 75 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:34,719 Speaker 4: of each other, even though I'm sure you have your moments. 76 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,240 Speaker 4: Any advice on how to recognize your person would be 77 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:41,640 Speaker 4: greatly appreciated. Ps. I recently cleaned my water bottles because 78 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:44,200 Speaker 4: I was pulling a Tanya. Love you guys. 79 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:46,960 Speaker 1: Wow, the fact that that's now called I'm considered pulling 80 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:47,479 Speaker 1: a Tanya. 81 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:53,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe Anika can inspire you to wash your ball. 82 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:59,080 Speaker 1: I watched it probably twice since we've had that conversation. 83 00:05:00,839 --> 00:05:01,760 Speaker 6: Not enough, it's. 84 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:02,839 Speaker 4: Okay to start. 85 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:09,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, the straw is often yes, yeah, great, great, great. 86 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:14,640 Speaker 3: Just to be clear, do you want to answer? 87 00:05:15,279 --> 00:05:18,320 Speaker 1: I don't think I know the answer, Like, how do 88 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:21,760 Speaker 1: you know they're the one? I feel like with Robbie, 89 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:28,440 Speaker 1: I literally knew very quickly that like my inner beings 90 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:30,880 Speaker 1: told me that he he was it. 91 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:35,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, I would like to say that it was the 92 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:37,320 Speaker 2: same thing, like, it's not really something that I have 93 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:40,599 Speaker 2: it that was specific of like I knew because she 94 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:44,039 Speaker 2: did this. There's more something that happened like in my 95 00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:47,280 Speaker 2: like brain chemistry or something where I was like, And 96 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:50,240 Speaker 2: I also think that one thing that I will say 97 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:53,320 Speaker 2: is that any of the problems or issues that we've 98 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:56,719 Speaker 2: had to navigate or work through, it hasn't felt like 99 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:58,760 Speaker 2: a burden to go through the work. 100 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:00,680 Speaker 3: Of navigating those things. 101 00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:03,040 Speaker 2: It's been like, I want to work on this as 102 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:05,279 Speaker 2: opposed to it being like I have to work on this. 103 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:07,880 Speaker 2: It's been like, Okay, I want to be with you, 104 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:10,120 Speaker 2: you want to be with me, and that's like that's 105 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:12,839 Speaker 2: what's happening. So how do we make it as like 106 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:16,200 Speaker 2: healthy as possible? And I've wanted to do that as 107 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:19,920 Speaker 2: opposed to feeling like it was a burden in our relationship. Yeah, 108 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:22,600 Speaker 2: which I feel like is if it's not the right person, 109 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:26,960 Speaker 2: that going through things and working on things feels like 110 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:30,479 Speaker 2: a heavy burden, a heavy lift, I think for me, 111 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:31,839 Speaker 2: I guess is what I'm saying. 112 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:35,080 Speaker 5: Yeah, so that's what I would say. How do you 113 00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:36,080 Speaker 5: what do you think it is? 114 00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:39,080 Speaker 6: I mean, I agree that it's a there's not like 115 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:42,320 Speaker 6: a specific thing. But I think back to this. There's 116 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,680 Speaker 6: this quote from Kieramo do Toro that I really like 117 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:48,520 Speaker 6: about art, and it's art. The definition of art is 118 00:06:48,839 --> 00:06:51,680 Speaker 6: what would you risk to be in its presence? And 119 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:54,080 Speaker 6: I always think about like I just couldn't imagine life 120 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,480 Speaker 6: with that, Like when I'm with Alison, I'm like, I 121 00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:59,640 Speaker 6: can't imagine doing anything without you, and I would risk 122 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:03,080 Speaker 6: everything just to be in your orbit. Yeah, And I've 123 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:04,960 Speaker 6: never felt that way about anyone else. And that's the 124 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,479 Speaker 6: fact that I popped into my head. It's like the sign, 125 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:07,839 Speaker 6: you know. 126 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:10,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I literally don't get sick of him. Like 127 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:12,480 Speaker 1: I can literally have Robby next met twenty four to 128 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:14,440 Speaker 1: seven and never get sick of him. 129 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:15,120 Speaker 3: Yeah. 130 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:18,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, Like he gets in my lap all day, I'd 131 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:19,560 Speaker 1: be totally fine. 132 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:22,240 Speaker 4: Yeah, lose feeling in your feet, but you're fine day 133 00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:22,760 Speaker 4: the way around. 134 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:24,680 Speaker 1: Like I could sit on his lap all day long 135 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:26,280 Speaker 1: and I'd be like, perfectly fine. 136 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:29,520 Speaker 4: I remember the revelation we had been together three years. Remember, 137 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:31,320 Speaker 4: my wife was very young when we started dating, so 138 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:33,000 Speaker 4: I wanted to have a long I wanted it a 139 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:34,440 Speaker 4: long time because I didn't want her to feel like 140 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:36,600 Speaker 4: she got married too young or didn't see anyone else, 141 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:39,480 Speaker 4: or made a mistake. So after we began together three years, 142 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:42,440 Speaker 4: I remember thinking, am I going to propose to this? 143 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:45,960 Speaker 4: It's really is she the one? And I thought to myself, well, 144 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:49,960 Speaker 4: what's the opposite? What's the alternates? The alternate is we 145 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:52,480 Speaker 4: break up and go and lead separate lives and never 146 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:54,840 Speaker 4: talk to each other again. And that was laughable and 147 00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:58,640 Speaker 4: inconceivable to me. There is no way that is my future. 148 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:01,280 Speaker 4: That Amy's just another person in the world that I 149 00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:02,920 Speaker 4: think about every once in a while, but liv a 150 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:05,160 Speaker 4: girl in life completely separate from me, There's no way 151 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:06,960 Speaker 4: that's the case. And that was it. I knew, Okay, 152 00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:08,440 Speaker 4: this is it, this is the one, and I'm going 153 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:09,040 Speaker 4: to propose. 154 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:13,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that makes sense to me. And I resonate 155 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:17,240 Speaker 2: with that because I remember when think that when some 156 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:19,800 Speaker 2: certain people found out about my relationship with Haley who 157 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:23,400 Speaker 2: were important to me, and they weren't super receptive or accepting, 158 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:25,960 Speaker 2: I was like, so, what's the alter, Like I either 159 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,720 Speaker 2: do what they want or and I don't have Haley 160 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:29,240 Speaker 2: in my life. And I was like, I can't even 161 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:32,280 Speaker 2: fathom that. And I was willing to have to go 162 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:36,000 Speaker 2: through a hard time in another relationship with someone who 163 00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:38,960 Speaker 2: I love and care about so much to be with her. 164 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:41,000 Speaker 2: And I think that was the moment where I was like, oh, 165 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:44,680 Speaker 2: this isn't like a fleeing or something I could just 166 00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:47,199 Speaker 2: like forget. And I remember I've said it a lot, 167 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:49,439 Speaker 2: but I always was like I knew I would never 168 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:51,400 Speaker 2: stop thinking about her if I wasn't with her. And 169 00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:53,440 Speaker 2: I think that's kind of the thought, which is basically 170 00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:56,360 Speaker 2: what you just said in different words, like the thought 171 00:08:56,400 --> 00:09:00,320 Speaker 2: of her amy, doing being with anyone else doing living 172 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,720 Speaker 2: life felt like there's no way I'm not a part 173 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:04,880 Speaker 2: of that her life. 174 00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:07,880 Speaker 1: Yes, so that's it. 175 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:12,680 Speaker 4: That's how you know. Hope that helped a very confused 176 00:09:12,679 --> 00:09:15,480 Speaker 4: and hurt scrubber sent us this one. Hi, Becka, Tanya Mark, 177 00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:17,559 Speaker 4: and Easton. I'm a longtime listener living in a small 178 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:21,079 Speaker 4: town in Manitoba, Canada. I bet that's nice up there. 179 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:23,760 Speaker 4: I'd like to see Manitoba, Canada. I'm a thirty two 180 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:25,920 Speaker 4: year old single mom of two boys, both under the 181 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:27,760 Speaker 4: age of ten. One is named Easton. 182 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:29,520 Speaker 6: Yeah. 183 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:32,160 Speaker 4: My ex husband and I separated in twenty twenty three 184 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,680 Speaker 4: and have reached the end of our separation and divorce process. 185 00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:36,960 Speaker 4: I started doing my boyfriend a little over a year ago. 186 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:39,480 Speaker 4: We dd it for five months before introducing him to 187 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:42,240 Speaker 4: my two boys, and it's been mostly smooth sailing. My 188 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:44,960 Speaker 4: boyfriend is thirty seven, has never ever wanted kids of 189 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:47,240 Speaker 4: his own, which I've known from the beginning. I don't 190 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:50,520 Speaker 4: want more kids either. I may have assumed incorrectly, but 191 00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:52,280 Speaker 4: I assumed that even though he didn't want children of 192 00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:54,920 Speaker 4: his own, he wouldn't date someone with kids if he 193 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:58,920 Speaker 4: was opposed to attending kids' events like soccer, taekwondo, et cetera, 194 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:02,040 Speaker 4: and eventually years down the line, having more of a 195 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:05,160 Speaker 4: step parent like role. When I've asked him why he's 196 00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:08,200 Speaker 4: so unwilling to attend these things, his response is usually, 197 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:10,480 Speaker 4: this is exactly why I didn't want to have kids 198 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:12,160 Speaker 4: on my own, or why would I want to go 199 00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:14,560 Speaker 4: to that. I tried to explain to him that my 200 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:16,640 Speaker 4: kids have asked why he can't attend these events, and 201 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:19,120 Speaker 4: I always have to lie and say he's working. He 202 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,080 Speaker 4: always makes it seem like I'm asking for the end 203 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,000 Speaker 4: of the world, and I'm not sure that I am. 204 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:25,280 Speaker 4: The boys want him there because they love him and 205 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:26,960 Speaker 4: they want him to be there to support them. I 206 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,240 Speaker 4: feel so confused. I'm sure i'd handle the situation. I 207 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:31,079 Speaker 4: love him deeply, which is why it's been so hard. 208 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:34,560 Speaker 4: An the insider opinions would be greatly appreciated. A very 209 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:39,959 Speaker 4: confused and hurt scrubber. It's not great. 210 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:41,199 Speaker 3: It's not great. 211 00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:45,080 Speaker 2: The thing that immediately popped up in my mind is 212 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:46,680 Speaker 2: I feel. 213 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:47,440 Speaker 1: Like when. 214 00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:53,800 Speaker 2: You're in a relationship, there's that like teammate and partnership 215 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:57,600 Speaker 2: that comes along with it, and I really tell you, 216 00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:59,199 Speaker 2: you're the only person who can speak to this in 217 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:04,520 Speaker 2: the room really in terms of like being the person 218 00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:06,720 Speaker 2: coming into someone's life with kids. 219 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:11,120 Speaker 1: I think the thing is that he's not. So I 220 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:14,920 Speaker 1: think every situation's different. I don't think every step parent 221 00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:17,880 Speaker 1: or step parenting role looks the same. I think it's 222 00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:21,320 Speaker 1: dependent on your partner and that what they want that 223 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:25,280 Speaker 1: role to be. So in my case, Robbie did want that. 224 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:28,559 Speaker 1: He really wanted me to be a very active part 225 00:11:28,679 --> 00:11:30,800 Speaker 1: of the kids' lives, and I wanted the same thing. 226 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:35,559 Speaker 1: We were really like the word sympatico in that, and 227 00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:40,079 Speaker 1: so that's kind of where that's where we took the role, 228 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:45,720 Speaker 1: my role with the kids. And it's hard because you're 229 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:48,760 Speaker 1: the mom and you want your partner to be involved, 230 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:50,760 Speaker 1: but he really doesn't want to be involved. So I 231 00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:52,880 Speaker 1: feel like you guys have to maybe make some sort 232 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:56,160 Speaker 1: of compromise because I also think too, if he doesn't 233 00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:58,840 Speaker 1: want that responsibility, he doesn't want kids, he doesn't want 234 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:02,240 Speaker 1: he doesn't want that responsibility of even being a step parent, 235 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:05,160 Speaker 1: then maybe there's a compromise you can make. Maybe doesn't 236 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:06,960 Speaker 1: come to every game, maybe he just comes to like 237 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:10,480 Speaker 1: one here and there or you know, like does not 238 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,000 Speaker 1: have to be all in or all out. I feel 239 00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:13,880 Speaker 1: like he's all out? 240 00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:17,920 Speaker 4: Is it? Is there an element of I don't want 241 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:20,400 Speaker 4: to be around your ex husband, I don't want to 242 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:23,040 Speaker 4: be the new guy and everybody staring at me. Is 243 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:25,520 Speaker 4: there something there? Like I have maybe hard to believe 244 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,400 Speaker 4: he has no interest in watching your kids play soccer. 245 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:31,120 Speaker 1: Especially if he's building a relationship. Yeah, especially if he's 246 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:32,560 Speaker 1: building a relationship with them. 247 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:35,520 Speaker 2: I think he just I think he doesn't want kids 248 00:12:35,559 --> 00:12:38,000 Speaker 2: and he probably gets to have her fifty percent of 249 00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:40,840 Speaker 2: the time by him, by herself, and he probably is 250 00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:44,440 Speaker 2: like I told you from the beginning, I didn't want kids, 251 00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:46,960 Speaker 2: And I think she's totally valid in being like, then 252 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:49,480 Speaker 2: why would you date me if you weren't going to 253 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:54,360 Speaker 2: have any participat participation in my kids lives? 254 00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:57,840 Speaker 1: He is having participation in their lives because she's saying 255 00:12:57,880 --> 00:12:59,840 Speaker 1: that they love him and they want him to come. 256 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,480 Speaker 1: So he's clearly like hanging out with them at some point. 257 00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:02,920 Speaker 7: Yeah. 258 00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:05,880 Speaker 2: But if he I know, but if he cares and 259 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:09,480 Speaker 2: loves them and he and she's saying they want you 260 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:13,480 Speaker 2: to come to their events, wouldn't he go oh, like 261 00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:15,800 Speaker 2: in his mind, it's like, oh, yeah, that I didn't 262 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,680 Speaker 2: really I don't really want to go to a kid's 263 00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:19,760 Speaker 2: soccer game, but like I love these kids and this 264 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:21,040 Speaker 2: is what they want from me. 265 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,240 Speaker 5: Yea, how do I show up for them? I don't 266 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:24,520 Speaker 5: think this guy's your person. 267 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:27,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's because I'm not like your guy. 268 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:28,360 Speaker 3: I get. 269 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:31,600 Speaker 2: I understand his view on like if he doesn't want kids, 270 00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:35,120 Speaker 2: but why would you date someone who's who's very much 271 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:39,000 Speaker 2: in that in that and has kids and not be. 272 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:40,200 Speaker 3: Able to show up for them? 273 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:44,120 Speaker 1: Because some people who are in that role like don't 274 00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:47,560 Speaker 1: have to be like that. Like I don't really know 275 00:13:47,559 --> 00:13:51,160 Speaker 1: any examples, but like I'm trying to think of like 276 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:54,360 Speaker 1: a famous couple that just to give a good example. 277 00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:58,520 Speaker 2: While you're thinking, I'm saying, like if she's can mean 278 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:00,880 Speaker 2: if if this was at the very beginning, like let's 279 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:03,520 Speaker 2: say last week was the first game, and he was like, yeah, 280 00:14:03,559 --> 00:14:04,960 Speaker 2: I'm not really into that. I don't want to go 281 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,080 Speaker 2: to kids' sporting events, and then she's like, Okay, now 282 00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:09,640 Speaker 2: I have to reassess what this is. But this is 283 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:12,439 Speaker 2: not the first time it's happened. He has like consistently 284 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:15,680 Speaker 2: not been going and she's probably communicated like, Hey, the 285 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:17,680 Speaker 2: boys really want you to come. I'm having to lie 286 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:21,240 Speaker 2: and say that you're at work. And if he's still 287 00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:23,960 Speaker 2: not able to go, like, oh, like I should show up. 288 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,880 Speaker 2: I'm in these kids' lives like I should show up, 289 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:29,160 Speaker 2: or they're when they're doing something that's important to them. 290 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:31,840 Speaker 2: I don't think this is the type of guy that's 291 00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:33,840 Speaker 2: going to be a partner to you or a teammate 292 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:34,160 Speaker 2: to you. 293 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:36,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, if that's important. 294 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:40,680 Speaker 4: Again, it's just like, yeah, it's hard with these emails 295 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,440 Speaker 4: because you want to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, 296 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:44,040 Speaker 4: and I'm trying real hard to give this guy the 297 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:45,760 Speaker 4: benefit of the doubt. But who doesn't want to go 298 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:50,160 Speaker 4: see random kids off the streets are kids that you 299 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:53,280 Speaker 4: know and watch them play soccer or dance or whatever 300 00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:56,040 Speaker 4: it is. It seems to me like I'm going to 301 00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:59,720 Speaker 4: see my friend's kids game. Yeah, our neighbors kids have 302 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:02,040 Speaker 4: gone see Like it's just something to do when it's fun. 303 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:05,760 Speaker 7: Yeah, I don't know, it's like showing up for kids, 304 00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:09,680 Speaker 7: like kids seeing people in your Like if people like 305 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:12,720 Speaker 7: my aunts and people came to my events when I 306 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:14,720 Speaker 7: was in school, I remember being like, oh my gosh, 307 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:15,360 Speaker 7: like my, oh. 308 00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:20,040 Speaker 1: Want to go to yeah, sporting them? 309 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:21,040 Speaker 4: Why wouldn't you? 310 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:21,360 Speaker 1: Yeah? 311 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:26,320 Speaker 2: So I I again, we only know what we've gotten 312 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:29,600 Speaker 2: this email about. But I think that you deserve someone 313 00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:31,200 Speaker 2: who's going to be a to and I think maybe 314 00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:33,880 Speaker 2: if there's, if there hasn't been a sit down conversation 315 00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:37,080 Speaker 2: about that it's important to you and that it's important 316 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:40,080 Speaker 2: to the kids, then have that conversation. And if he's 317 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:42,320 Speaker 2: not willing to compromise and be able to show up 318 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:45,160 Speaker 2: for them and you, then I don't think this is 319 00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:45,920 Speaker 2: your personal or. 320 00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:48,960 Speaker 1: Maybe we understand the root of why he doesn't want 321 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:52,000 Speaker 1: to go to these events. Maybe we start with that what. 322 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:53,600 Speaker 5: The root seem like? 323 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:55,480 Speaker 3: He's just like, yeah, I don't want kids. 324 00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:58,920 Speaker 4: But also there's gonna be stuff he wants you to 325 00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:00,520 Speaker 4: go to that you don't want to go to. Right, 326 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,800 Speaker 4: I don't know what that is. Let's go watch with 327 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:05,520 Speaker 4: the boys. I don't want to do this, but fine, 328 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:06,240 Speaker 4: you know is what we do. 329 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:09,840 Speaker 2: Relationships, It's part of life. But that's the part of 330 00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:13,240 Speaker 2: being like a team. And this guy doesn't feel like 331 00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:14,320 Speaker 2: a team with you. 332 00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:16,480 Speaker 1: No, he's got an iron team and that's just the 333 00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:17,960 Speaker 1: team have. 334 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:18,600 Speaker 3: An iron team. 335 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:21,640 Speaker 4: You can't, Tanya, did you come up with a celebrity 336 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:23,720 Speaker 4: couple analogy for this particular situation? 337 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:27,240 Speaker 1: So I was saying, I was thinking maybe like Jennifer 338 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:33,040 Speaker 1: Lopez and Ben Affleck, but it didn't quite work. Oh, 339 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:36,880 Speaker 1: Jlo has kids, ben Affleck has kids. But I do 340 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:39,640 Speaker 1: feel like even Jlo like showed up to ben afflecks 341 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:44,080 Speaker 1: kids stuff and vice versa. Probably so, No, I don't 342 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:47,280 Speaker 1: know any step parents that do not attend any of 343 00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:53,040 Speaker 1: their children's step children's festivity effort. Yeah, thank you, A 344 00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:58,240 Speaker 1: good idea. I tried, Dakota Johnson. I don't know those 345 00:16:58,320 --> 00:16:59,239 Speaker 1: kids are older. 346 00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:00,000 Speaker 4: Than you for working on it. 347 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:04,639 Speaker 3: While you're thinking about it. We're going to take a break, 348 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:26,160 Speaker 3: all right. We are back with more burning questions. 349 00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:29,760 Speaker 4: Different religions, Tanya, this question is mostly for you, it says, 350 00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:32,240 Speaker 4: I mean day one, Scrubber was so happy of you 351 00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:35,679 Speaker 4: when you met Robbie and finally became a wife. I 352 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:37,240 Speaker 4: was in a two year relationship with a man I 353 00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:39,399 Speaker 4: love and care for so deeply. I am born and 354 00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:42,240 Speaker 4: raised devout Catholic and he was raised Hindu, though he's 355 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:46,240 Speaker 4: not necessarily religious. We recently broke up because we couldn't 356 00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:48,400 Speaker 4: come to a conclusion on how our wedding would look 357 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:51,440 Speaker 4: combining traditions, etc. Can you share a bit more about 358 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:54,120 Speaker 4: how you and Robbie had discussions around your different faith backgrounds. 359 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,080 Speaker 4: I'm heartbroken and really hopeful we can find a way 360 00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:58,879 Speaker 4: to come back together. Lots of love, Anonymous. 361 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,320 Speaker 1: They broke up because they couldn't figure out read that 362 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:06,160 Speaker 1: line again, they couldn't figure out how to have a wedding. 363 00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:09,520 Speaker 4: That combines the traditions of Catholicism and Hinduism. 364 00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:10,359 Speaker 1: And that broke them up. 365 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:13,919 Speaker 4: Apparently, she says, we broke up because we couldn't come 366 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:17,119 Speaker 4: to a conclusion. That makes me sad, But maybe I 367 00:18:17,119 --> 00:18:19,199 Speaker 4: think it's a bigger picture thing, like, well, if we 368 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,040 Speaker 4: can't even figure this out, how are we going to 369 00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:22,840 Speaker 4: figure out how to raise kids together and all these 370 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:23,520 Speaker 4: other things? You know? 371 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:31,119 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that when it came to faith and 372 00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:35,480 Speaker 1: traditions and everything that comes in that realm of things, 373 00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:40,880 Speaker 1: Robbie respected mine and I respected his, and we kind 374 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:43,240 Speaker 1: of took like an all hands on deck approach. We 375 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:50,520 Speaker 1: celebrate all the things, we incorporate all the things. It 376 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:54,480 Speaker 1: really and we really wanted our wedding ceremony to be 377 00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:57,240 Speaker 1: non denominational. We didn't want it to be fully one 378 00:18:57,240 --> 00:19:01,480 Speaker 1: way or the other. And it was like the easiest 379 00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:05,960 Speaker 1: thing that we've done, Like we didn't have fights about it. 380 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:09,159 Speaker 1: It was literally just like what traditions, what do you 381 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:10,840 Speaker 1: want to have? What do you want to have? And 382 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:13,480 Speaker 1: then we both said great love it, great love it 383 00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:16,720 Speaker 1: did it? Like I feel like we just approached it 384 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:18,560 Speaker 1: from a place of just like love and understanding on 385 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:22,080 Speaker 1: both sides. We never truly haven't thought about it. 386 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:25,480 Speaker 4: And I wonder if so if they approached this from 387 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:27,480 Speaker 4: a different way where he would suggest something that she 388 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,159 Speaker 4: say something like, oh, my grandparents are never going to that, 389 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:32,159 Speaker 4: and vice versa, he's like, oh, my family is not 390 00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:34,320 Speaker 4: going to want that to happen. You know, maybe that's 391 00:19:34,359 --> 00:19:35,720 Speaker 4: there's too many cooks in the kitchen. 392 00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:40,560 Speaker 2: Maybe I also think they're like, you are very committed 393 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,000 Speaker 2: to your faith, and so is Robbie. 394 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,200 Speaker 3: But I also think. 395 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:48,040 Speaker 2: That if you're devout to your religion and your family 396 00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:51,760 Speaker 2: is really intensely developed to their religion, and you're thinking 397 00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:53,800 Speaker 2: about what is our family going to think, what's grandma 398 00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:56,679 Speaker 2: going to think? Who's a devout Catholic? I think you 399 00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,160 Speaker 2: get in your head about that. But I think if 400 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:01,720 Speaker 2: you're like I think y'all have done such a beautiful 401 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:04,840 Speaker 2: job at like honoring each other in your religions and 402 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:06,800 Speaker 2: also being respectful and also being. 403 00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,720 Speaker 5: Willing to learn, I think you have to kind of. 404 00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:12,280 Speaker 2: Drown out the noise of what's everyone else gonna say 405 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:15,080 Speaker 2: and think, Yeah, and if it's if that's what it is, 406 00:20:15,119 --> 00:20:20,800 Speaker 2: if it's your own inner inner self, or you know, 407 00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:21,920 Speaker 2: whatever it is. 408 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:24,440 Speaker 1: You're so right about that. It's like, I do think 409 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,639 Speaker 1: that there's a lot of external noise that comes in 410 00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:29,280 Speaker 1: when especially when it comes to faith and traditions, and 411 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:31,159 Speaker 1: you do have to just completely block that out and 412 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,199 Speaker 1: it has to be just the two of you and 413 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:34,200 Speaker 1: like what you want to do. 414 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:37,440 Speaker 2: And also be able to like be sometimes you have 415 00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:40,359 Speaker 2: it's it sucks to have to be the one to 416 00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:43,760 Speaker 2: be the example in your family of being like, this 417 00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:46,239 Speaker 2: is what it looks like to respect and honor other 418 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:49,200 Speaker 2: people's religions who don't believe the same way as you. Yeah, 419 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:52,560 Speaker 2: And it's hard because when you have a really strong 420 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:56,760 Speaker 2: dynamic with your family and you've agreed on everything thus far, 421 00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,879 Speaker 2: and they have expectations about who you're going to be 422 00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:01,359 Speaker 2: with that could be a challenge. It's not as easy 423 00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:03,119 Speaker 2: as just like, oh, block it all out, Like I 424 00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:04,960 Speaker 2: know that's a challenge, But I think if you know 425 00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:06,720 Speaker 2: this is the person that you're supposed to be with, 426 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:10,720 Speaker 2: I think there's room for you to let yourself grow 427 00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:14,479 Speaker 2: and you know, focus on you and your relationship and 428 00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:16,200 Speaker 2: not the external noise. 429 00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:18,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really interesting because it's a question that I 430 00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:21,720 Speaker 1: get asked a lot inner faith relationships and how we 431 00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:23,920 Speaker 1: make it work. And I'm like, it's so interesting because 432 00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:29,480 Speaker 1: it's literally just both of us honoring and respecting each 433 00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:34,879 Speaker 1: other and creating our own traditions. It's never been truly, 434 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,359 Speaker 1: we've never had an argument over it. 435 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:40,639 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I mean I think if it gets to 436 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:44,359 Speaker 2: a point where you're only arguing about that, then maybe 437 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,679 Speaker 2: he's not your person. You know. Maybe if it's that 438 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:49,240 Speaker 2: important to where y'all can't move forward and you both 439 00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:55,000 Speaker 2: are stuck in that fight, you're just gonna grow resentful. 440 00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:55,919 Speaker 3: And I don't think. 441 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:59,399 Speaker 2: I think if you grew resentful about it, then you 442 00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:02,439 Speaker 2: wouldn't be a to have a healthy relationship ever. So 443 00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:04,800 Speaker 2: I think that you you know, have to figure out 444 00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:08,480 Speaker 2: where where the hesitation is coming from. Is it from you, 445 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,520 Speaker 2: Is it from your boyfriend or is it from your 446 00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:12,560 Speaker 2: family and other people? 447 00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:13,040 Speaker 1: Yeah? 448 00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:15,879 Speaker 3: Huge, you the best. 449 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, and it can work. 450 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:17,760 Speaker 5: Yeah. 451 00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:23,120 Speaker 1: Inner faith marriages are blessing. I think the more the merrier. Yeah, 452 00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:24,800 Speaker 1: celebrate so many holidays in our house. 453 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:26,200 Speaker 3: They all are always celebrating. 454 00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:27,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just like constant celebration. 455 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:33,119 Speaker 4: Jody would x INMLA Recommendations Day one Scrubber Here, I've 456 00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:34,600 Speaker 4: been meaning to reach out for some time to let 457 00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:36,399 Speaker 4: you know your how about your podcast is meant to me. 458 00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:40,000 Speaker 4: Through your stories, laughter, support and genuine friendship, You've brought 459 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,560 Speaker 4: an incredible sense of light and joy into my life, 460 00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:44,080 Speaker 4: and I wanted to thank you from the bottom of 461 00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:46,520 Speaker 4: my heart. You all helped me smile and giggle through 462 00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:49,120 Speaker 4: the pandemic when my fiance was deployed for a year. 463 00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,520 Speaker 4: In the morning commutes to work. I look forward to 464 00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:53,639 Speaker 4: new episodes every week and find myself re listening to 465 00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:55,520 Speaker 4: old episodes when they need a little pick me up. 466 00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:57,960 Speaker 4: My best friend and I love talking about the podcast 467 00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:00,600 Speaker 4: and even write in cards. You're the Becka to Tanya. 468 00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:03,479 Speaker 4: I'm also reaching out for some advice. I'm flying out 469 00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:05,080 Speaker 4: to la in a few weeks for a work trip 470 00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:07,160 Speaker 4: and extending my stay for a few days to explore 471 00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:09,320 Speaker 4: the city. Any recommendations of what to do and where 472 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:11,600 Speaker 4: to eat, I'm open to anything, but will be for 473 00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:13,639 Speaker 4: sure hitting in and out while I'm in town. I 474 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:16,080 Speaker 4: appreciate your thoughts. Hope you have a wonderful week. Love Jody. 475 00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:16,840 Speaker 4: That's Jody. 476 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:20,000 Speaker 2: I we may have to turn it over to Easton 477 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:22,320 Speaker 2: for this to ask. 478 00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:22,640 Speaker 7: Yeah. 479 00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:24,640 Speaker 1: No, literally, I think I'm the worst person to ask 480 00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:26,359 Speaker 1: because we just had a friend that was in town 481 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:29,920 Speaker 1: from like, uh somewhere. They first time in LA and 482 00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:31,480 Speaker 1: they're like, where should we go? And I was like, 483 00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:35,919 Speaker 1: I have no idea. I know, I'm really bad at 484 00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:37,240 Speaker 1: this Universal Studio. 485 00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:42,080 Speaker 6: It's like, well, there's some variables Jody that you're gonna 486 00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:43,800 Speaker 6: have to maybe have to DM me because it's like 487 00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:47,200 Speaker 6: where you're going to be into. Do you want to 488 00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:49,520 Speaker 6: see where movies are made? Do you want to see 489 00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:53,160 Speaker 6: where famous people have lost their lives? Do you want 490 00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:55,720 Speaker 6: to do you want to eat weird food? Do you 491 00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:58,240 Speaker 6: want to have good food? Do you want have bad food? 492 00:23:58,320 --> 00:23:58,480 Speaker 4: Like this? 493 00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:00,399 Speaker 3: Want to be in like touristy area? 494 00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:00,720 Speaker 2: Yeah? 495 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:02,679 Speaker 6: Because I love I love that kind of stuff. I 496 00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:05,680 Speaker 6: love the Walk of Fame. I love Hollywood Boulevard. I 497 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:09,440 Speaker 6: love that that's gotten so gross. It's so it's grimy, 498 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:10,120 Speaker 6: but that's what I. 499 00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:10,520 Speaker 1: Like about it. 500 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:13,040 Speaker 4: By the way, when I first moved here, and even 501 00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:14,560 Speaker 4: when I came to visit here before I moved here, 502 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:17,560 Speaker 4: how Boulevard was fine, you know, just the street, lots 503 00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:21,520 Speaker 4: of tourists. Yeah, stars. Now it's Times Square, but in 504 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:24,720 Speaker 4: a smaller area, like it's very crammed. The sidewalks are 505 00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:27,880 Speaker 4: packed and there's just it's just seed. It's just kind 506 00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:28,479 Speaker 4: of gross. 507 00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:30,960 Speaker 6: Over crowdress up as Spider Man. 508 00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:34,360 Speaker 4: People in costumes, lots of people just trying to get 509 00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:36,560 Speaker 4: money out of you. Yeah, I would. 510 00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:39,920 Speaker 1: Say you should for sure go to Santa Monica, the pier. Yeah, 511 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,280 Speaker 1: it's like iconic places game end. 512 00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:44,240 Speaker 6: Of Route sixty six. 513 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:46,560 Speaker 4: Go up the promenade while you're over there. 514 00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:48,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe go to Venice, Muscle Beach. 515 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:52,320 Speaker 2: Everything's like closed off. It used to be like amazing. 516 00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:54,680 Speaker 2: Oh really, I would say, if you're gonna do mod 517 00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:58,440 Speaker 2: hit A Grove or Maritana is good. 518 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,000 Speaker 4: What about the Magic Castle least? And should you go 519 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,200 Speaker 4: to the Magic Castle. 520 00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:04,440 Speaker 6: If you can get in that is hard to get 521 00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:06,000 Speaker 6: in it's very cool, even if you just want to 522 00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,320 Speaker 6: drive by and check it out. Though, Yeah, do you 523 00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:10,320 Speaker 6: have a car? Are you going to be ubering everything another? 524 00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:13,880 Speaker 3: We might need you, Joe, do you need a. 525 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:16,760 Speaker 6: D M E d M at Easton? Allen, send me 526 00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:18,840 Speaker 6: a d M and I will. I will plan your 527 00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:21,119 Speaker 6: trip for you, every moment of it, even the work parts. 528 00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:24,680 Speaker 6: Where's your work event? What conference center is that in? 529 00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:26,639 Speaker 6: I'll find something cool for you. You'll find something walking 530 00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:31,119 Speaker 6: distance from Yes, yes, I will his specialty. 531 00:25:32,359 --> 00:25:57,440 Speaker 3: We have one more, but first, all right, we're back 532 00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:58,840 Speaker 3: for a finale question. 533 00:25:59,160 --> 00:25:59,800 Speaker 4: It's a fun one. 534 00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:02,000 Speaker 3: Becca, Hey Tanya. 535 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:03,920 Speaker 6: Hey Mark, Hey Easton? 536 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:06,680 Speaker 4: Is that the first time? 537 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:12,119 Speaker 3: Hey Tanya, Hey Becca, Hey Easton, Hey Mark. 538 00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:13,720 Speaker 4: It's scrubbing in. 539 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:15,879 Speaker 1: Zerom In. 540 00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:18,200 Speaker 3: Don't go anywhere. 541 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:24,000 Speaker 6: It's time for the show. 542 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:26,280 Speaker 1: We have a good one. 543 00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:31,760 Speaker 4: Well, Courtney's email starts scrub dub dub in the tub, 544 00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:34,320 Speaker 4: dub tub, Thank you Courtney. 545 00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:37,240 Speaker 3: She actually didn't say it, well, she said scrub. 546 00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:41,720 Speaker 4: A dub dub with a scrub Becca Eastern Marcantania. Oh, Tanya, 547 00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:45,640 Speaker 4: it's the lowest billing scruested for all four of you. 548 00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:48,439 Speaker 1: You probably didn't have abutical order yeah, she might. 549 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:50,239 Speaker 4: Have, and it could be fun to write down your 550 00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:53,320 Speaker 4: answers before sharing with one another. Okay, good, you's got. 551 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:55,000 Speaker 1: Pins over here? 552 00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:00,800 Speaker 4: Uh? Which grade character from any of the twenty one 553 00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:04,760 Speaker 4: gazillion seasons? Do you think each of you are most like? 554 00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:09,520 Speaker 4: And why? Answer for yourselves and one another? Thanks from 555 00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:11,760 Speaker 4: a day one scrubber. This is gonna be hard for Easton. 556 00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,080 Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm still gonna participate, though. 557 00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:16,399 Speaker 4: I'm still doing all right, and we're write down me 558 00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:22,000 Speaker 4: and then you write down everybody else, right. 559 00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:36,960 Speaker 2: Okay, Well, okay, I'm having to go gut instinct because 560 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:37,840 Speaker 2: I'm rushed. 561 00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:40,480 Speaker 4: Okay, okay, that's fine, that's better. 562 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:43,000 Speaker 6: I think initial reactions? 563 00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:46,200 Speaker 1: What kind of what I did? 564 00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:46,240 Speaker 5: Do? 565 00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:46,560 Speaker 4: All right? 566 00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:49,720 Speaker 1: Ready, who's going to start? Mark? 567 00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:50,360 Speaker 7: Uh? 568 00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:51,960 Speaker 4: Should we do each person one at a time? 569 00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:52,760 Speaker 1: Sure? 570 00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:57,040 Speaker 4: All right? Tanya? You ready? Becca? You're still writing? Yeah, 571 00:27:57,359 --> 00:27:59,840 Speaker 4: I'm good, Tanya. Who do you think you? Well? No, 572 00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:03,280 Speaker 4: have everybody else? Say Tanya, and then she'll say, who's you? 573 00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:07,320 Speaker 4: I have April Kepner. Tanya is most like April Kepner. 574 00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:09,960 Speaker 3: Oh interesting, I went easy. 575 00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:14,320 Speaker 6: I thought of definitely thought of, I said, tarn Helm. 576 00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:25,320 Speaker 1: Okay, I couldn't be further from Becca has a match. 577 00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:26,160 Speaker 1: I went with Izzy. 578 00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:29,159 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I did consider eazy. But how do you 579 00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:29,800 Speaker 4: feel about. 580 00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,240 Speaker 1: It's pretty good? It's pretty good. But I kept most 581 00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:34,120 Speaker 1: mine o gs. 582 00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:40,400 Speaker 4: So oh well, because you have Washington ten years April Kepner. Okay, okay, fine, 583 00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:45,240 Speaker 4: uh Becca, I we should save Becca. Let's go Eastern 584 00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:46,080 Speaker 4: next Easton? 585 00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:46,560 Speaker 3: Who uh? 586 00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:49,000 Speaker 4: I put for Easton? Easton was a hard one for me. 587 00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:53,920 Speaker 4: I put Levi. Oh my god, I almost is a 588 00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:54,600 Speaker 4: kind soul. 589 00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:55,040 Speaker 1: I almost. 590 00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:59,880 Speaker 2: But I actually put George George because when he becomes 591 00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:03,480 Speaker 2: he thinks that he has like he seems like he's 592 00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:05,240 Speaker 2: going to be nervous, but then he ends up being 593 00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:09,120 Speaker 2: one of the best surgeons and like everyone loves him 594 00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:10,720 Speaker 2: and protective. 595 00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:13,960 Speaker 1: Georgia Malley as well. He's good. 596 00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:14,840 Speaker 6: It looks cool as hell. 597 00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:15,280 Speaker 1: Thank you. 598 00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:17,320 Speaker 3: He was on the podcast. 599 00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:20,480 Speaker 6: Oh yes, I remember, Yes, I. 600 00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:22,840 Speaker 4: Remember, and even shot a little video with us. 601 00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:25,120 Speaker 6: Yes, he did. I remember that very well. 602 00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:25,840 Speaker 2: Uh. 603 00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:31,280 Speaker 6: Tr night, I said that I was Mick dreamy. Yeah, 604 00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:33,600 Speaker 6: I could see that. Yeah, you've kind of got the 605 00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:34,959 Speaker 6: hair of the scruffy. 606 00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:35,920 Speaker 4: Yeah. 607 00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:37,920 Speaker 6: And I'm a really good race car driver. 608 00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:41,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, definite, all right, what about me? 609 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:44,040 Speaker 3: Yeah? 610 00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:46,880 Speaker 4: So, oh boy, I braced myself. 611 00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:49,080 Speaker 1: I went with Miranda Bailey. 612 00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:50,320 Speaker 4: Interesting. 613 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:56,280 Speaker 1: I feel like she's been around the whole time. She 614 00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:59,440 Speaker 1: keeps everyone in line, she keeps everything going. She's like 615 00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:01,560 Speaker 1: Oregon I and she's like the fearless leader. 616 00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:03,360 Speaker 4: I'll take that. Yeah, I'm happy with that. 617 00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:05,560 Speaker 1: I was. I had you first as chief, but like 618 00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:10,400 Speaker 1: I had a web. Yeah, Marana Bailey's better. 619 00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:11,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, like it better. 620 00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:16,680 Speaker 2: This one's controversial, but it's I'm going to clarify, I said, Owen, 621 00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:19,840 Speaker 2: but before he cheated on Christina, so he was like 622 00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:21,920 Speaker 2: a leader in the O R and everyone was coming 623 00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:24,160 Speaker 2: to him to learn. But this was before he cheated 624 00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:28,360 Speaker 2: on Christina, before we became, before we hated him. Yeah, 625 00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:33,040 Speaker 2: so I had to, I wrote before the first season, first. 626 00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:35,080 Speaker 4: Season, Owen, Okay, all right, just. 627 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:36,680 Speaker 1: To clarify, I hated on from the start. 628 00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:38,240 Speaker 3: No, you didn't know I did. 629 00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:40,880 Speaker 2: Actually, no, I don't believe that we are we did. 630 00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:43,040 Speaker 2: I didn't start hitting him till you chewed on Christina. 631 00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:44,360 Speaker 1: I hated him from day one. 632 00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:46,600 Speaker 4: He's been on the show for one hundred years. It's 633 00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:49,040 Speaker 4: basically East who do you think I'm most likely in 634 00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:50,720 Speaker 4: the show? You don't watch, so I apologize. 635 00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:53,880 Speaker 6: I could only name a few characters on the show, 636 00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:55,600 Speaker 6: so I had to kind of pull from that. So 637 00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:58,280 Speaker 6: I think you are most like Meredith Gray. 638 00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:01,560 Speaker 4: Because you are. 639 00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:05,080 Speaker 6: You do hold it very leadership role on this podcast 640 00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:08,400 Speaker 6: and in my life, and I look up to you 641 00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:12,520 Speaker 6: as the name of the show. Thank you, Mark's Anatomy 642 00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:12,880 Speaker 6: over here. 643 00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:17,320 Speaker 4: Very nice? All right, Becca, what did you say for myself? 644 00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:18,760 Speaker 4: I said, Alex Karev. 645 00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:23,520 Speaker 1: Almost like Correv, like Alex Corre in torture. 646 00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:26,040 Speaker 4: I don't know I related to him for some reason. 647 00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:29,840 Speaker 4: The other person I put down to Tom Carrassic. I 648 00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:33,040 Speaker 4: think it's kind of I get that too. 649 00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:35,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, I can see he's too cranky, but he's sarcastic. 650 00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:36,480 Speaker 3: He's funny. 651 00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:37,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, he's funny. 652 00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:39,240 Speaker 1: I just I think Branda Bailey wins. 653 00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:42,520 Speaker 4: I like him, Marda Biley, and I'll think of that. 654 00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:47,120 Speaker 4: I watch it, all right, Becca, telling you who you say. 655 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:51,800 Speaker 1: For Becca, it's so obvious Meredith Gray. She's so Meredith Gray. 656 00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:52,880 Speaker 4: Like Meredith Grey. 657 00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:54,960 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. 658 00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:59,280 Speaker 3: She's depressed like. 659 00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:03,440 Speaker 1: She didn't used to be. She didn't used to be. 660 00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:06,920 Speaker 1: She didn't used to be, she did not used to be. 661 00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:10,720 Speaker 1: She loved her friends, fearlessly. She was like the best 662 00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:14,040 Speaker 1: friend ever to Christina Yang. She would like chew guys 663 00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:17,040 Speaker 1: up and spit them out, like had no feelings whatsoever. 664 00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:18,920 Speaker 1: Like you could do that for a really long time 665 00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:21,040 Speaker 1: to remember. You would like all these guys were like 666 00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:25,320 Speaker 1: falling all over you, and you're like, who, she's so 667 00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:26,040 Speaker 1: Meredith Gray. 668 00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:27,560 Speaker 4: This might be a little on the nose, but I 669 00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:31,280 Speaker 4: have at Arizona Robins Classic, thank you. 670 00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:44,120 Speaker 6: I did a beloved character Cass Beckman played by Sophia Bush, because. 671 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:47,800 Speaker 2: Me and my open relations pretty good. 672 00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:49,560 Speaker 6: Yes exactly. 673 00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:51,120 Speaker 4: I mean I'm thinking pretty good for a guy who 674 00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:52,480 Speaker 4: doesn't watch the show, it's pretty good. 675 00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:58,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, did you go? You went with Arizona. You're so 676 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:00,720 Speaker 1: Meredith and you look like Meredith. 677 00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:11,720 Speaker 3: We should do the walk our walk Meredith. Look all right? 678 00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:15,000 Speaker 3: That was fun little games props. 679 00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:17,520 Speaker 4: We should give them the credit. Courtney, thank you for that. 680 00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:19,560 Speaker 7: Job. 681 00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:23,920 Speaker 1: Well away, you're gonna be rolling around the o R 682 00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:24,800 Speaker 1: in skates. 683 00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:27,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, but I would be a Pedes. I would definitely 684 00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,520 Speaker 3: go peedees. And I also I said, I. 685 00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:33,040 Speaker 2: Actually said Arizona season six because that's when she really 686 00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:35,000 Speaker 2: you really show that she knows who she is and 687 00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:37,560 Speaker 2: she stands up to Calli's dad, and she's like, I 688 00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:40,080 Speaker 2: am an honorable person, and like, even though I'm not 689 00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:41,800 Speaker 2: who you wanted for your daughter, like I am who 690 00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:44,080 Speaker 2: you're getting and I love her. 691 00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:47,840 Speaker 5: I love I loved Usca Capsule, I do too forever. 692 00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:52,720 Speaker 3: Well, that was so much fun. Eastern great work than you, 693 00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:53,520 Speaker 3: diehard fans. 694 00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:56,520 Speaker 6: Stressful, stressful. 695 00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:01,200 Speaker 3: We will be back next week. Don I love you, 696 00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:02,920 Speaker 3: I continued 697 00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:12,160 Speaker 1: M hm