WEBVTT - Whine About It: Mental Detox 0:00:01.880 --> 0:00:05.320 Wine Down with Janet Kramer and I Heart Radio Podcast. 0:00:06.960 --> 0:00:10.080 So excited for this week's episode. We have doctor Cheyenne 0:00:10.080 --> 0:00:12.920 Bryant coming on. She's a renowned life coach with a 0:00:13.000 --> 0:00:16.400 master's degree in marriage, family and child therapy. She's a 0:00:16.440 --> 0:00:19.560 psychology expert and a Team Mom life coach. She's on 0:00:19.640 --> 0:00:22.880 the show Teen Mom Family Reunion, which is on every Tuesday. 0:00:23.640 --> 0:00:26.720 How are you. I'm doing good. Yeah for asking, I'm 0:00:26.760 --> 0:00:29.040 doing really good. I had a really good morning. I've 0:00:29.040 --> 0:00:34.840 had a few breakthroughs and that always always cathartic for me. 0:00:35.240 --> 0:00:40.600 What's the best breakthrough that you get to witness? Oh gosh, 0:00:41.240 --> 0:00:49.080 it's well, so many different ones. It's more of when 0:00:49.120 --> 0:00:55.240 I see their resistance, dissipate, demise, or I'm breaking through 0:00:55.240 --> 0:00:59.440 the resistance of an awareness that was stopping them from 0:00:59.480 --> 0:01:03.560 getting where they are to where they want to be. 0:01:03.800 --> 0:01:06.880 That means that now it's green light for them to 0:01:06.959 --> 0:01:11.240 run all the plays necessary to reach that goal, whatever 0:01:11.280 --> 0:01:17.360 that goal is. Because resistance is something that keeps it's 0:01:17.400 --> 0:01:19.119 the only thing that keeps us from where we want 0:01:19.120 --> 0:01:21.640 to be. When I say where we want to be, 0:01:21.680 --> 0:01:26.040 it's not always a physical transition of location. It could 0:01:26.040 --> 0:01:28.800 be emotional or it can be demising of disordered thinking, 0:01:29.560 --> 0:01:31.639 it can be just a peace of mind, right, whatever 0:01:31.680 --> 0:01:35.600 that looks like. It's the resistance that is allowing you 0:01:35.680 --> 0:01:37.319 to be in your own way. So when I see 0:01:37.640 --> 0:01:40.080 my clients get out of their own way and get 0:01:40.120 --> 0:01:44.039 past their own resistance, for me, I'm going, oh my god, 0:01:44.120 --> 0:01:47.800 because that's where the magic happens. Right, So, manifestation happens 0:01:47.880 --> 0:01:51.120 at the point of agreement, and you can't have agreement 0:01:51.240 --> 0:01:54.960 if you have resistance like that, So then you're not 0:01:55.080 --> 0:01:59.320 manifesting anything because you're not in agreement with yourself. There's resistance, 0:01:59.600 --> 0:02:04.040 and then you're always feeling this internal struggle. You're feeling 0:02:04.040 --> 0:02:06.760 in the gray and you feel stuck. And as we 0:02:06.840 --> 0:02:10.960 all know, there's no worse feeling than being stuck and 0:02:11.400 --> 0:02:15.000 seeking the answer. But they can't coosis, right, So stuck 0:02:15.080 --> 0:02:18.320 is the problem and the problem the answer cannot coexist. 0:02:18.639 --> 0:02:21.520 There are two different spaces and you have to choose 0:02:21.520 --> 0:02:24.679 which one you want to be in. Well, all of 0:02:24.800 --> 0:02:28.400 us are choosing answer, sure, but we're disconnected. If we're 0:02:28.440 --> 0:02:34.040 choosing and seeking answer and we're stuck in what problem? Mindset, problem, behavior, 0:02:34.080 --> 0:02:38.760 problem thoughts? You can't get here from here? Do you 0:02:38.760 --> 0:02:42.200 also think too, there's a piece of acceptance like you 0:02:42.240 --> 0:02:44.720 have to have. Like for me, a lot of the 0:02:44.720 --> 0:02:48.320 struggles that I've gone through, it's when I accepted what 0:02:49.680 --> 0:02:53.080 happened or where I'm at, that's when I can have 0:02:53.200 --> 0:02:56.680 the action. I guess right, So acceptance, but before actions 0:02:56.680 --> 0:03:02.720 you have to have acception, acceptance, accepting. So yeah, so 0:03:02.880 --> 0:03:08.120 the the should I say, the process if we have 0:03:08.200 --> 0:03:13.520 to go into you know steps, it goes the awareness, right, Oh, 0:03:13.639 --> 0:03:17.880 I have a problem, Sunday's not right right? Identifying that 0:03:19.240 --> 0:03:23.679 acceptance which is what you said, huge huge step into 0:03:24.000 --> 0:03:28.680 what the resolution acceptance, which is surrendering. I accept this 0:03:28.720 --> 0:03:31.240 is what it is. I surrender to it. Doesn't mean 0:03:31.320 --> 0:03:34.840 I'm okay with staying here. What the reality is? You know, 0:03:34.920 --> 0:03:38.920 I'm I'm a thirty two year old woman divorced and 0:03:39.000 --> 0:03:42.520 I don't want to start over. But that's any reality 0:03:42.600 --> 0:03:46.360 of it. I accept it, I surrender to it. And 0:03:46.400 --> 0:03:50.040 then once acceptance and surrendering takes place, guess what you 0:03:50.120 --> 0:03:53.200 have now got your power back? Yeah? I think that's 0:03:53.200 --> 0:03:55.360 a huge PC. You mentioned the divorce too, and we 0:03:55.440 --> 0:04:00.400 talked about this on my Monday podcast, where when I divorce. 0:04:00.480 --> 0:04:03.480 There was so much anger, and it's almost like when 0:04:03.520 --> 0:04:08.080 I accepted the reality that I didn't want, then I 0:04:08.120 --> 0:04:11.160 was able that anger. Sure, I mean underneath it was 0:04:11.160 --> 0:04:14.960 all sadness, right, but I was able to have a 0:04:15.040 --> 0:04:18.680 new light and just go. I can't do anything about 0:04:18.720 --> 0:04:20.960 what happened, or how much I had to pay or 0:04:21.000 --> 0:04:25.400 whatever it was. I have to just now. It's I 0:04:25.440 --> 0:04:26.720 have to make a choice. I mean, they're going to 0:04:26.760 --> 0:04:30.000 just stay angry or Okay, this is what it is now, 0:04:30.040 --> 0:04:34.680 and let's try and find some light somewhere else. That's 0:04:34.720 --> 0:04:39.400 the power of acceptance. Yeah, I surrendering is exactly what 0:04:39.440 --> 0:04:42.200 you said. This is where I'm at. I have to 0:04:42.680 --> 0:04:44.719 visually see the optics of it. I can't have a 0:04:44.760 --> 0:04:50.640 disconnect between perception and reality. However, accepting your reality is 0:04:50.760 --> 0:04:53.160 accepting what you see. I want people to be clear 0:04:53.200 --> 0:04:57.640 on this. It's accepting what you see. It's not accepting 0:04:57.680 --> 0:04:59.480 what it is. I want to say it one more time. 0:05:00.120 --> 0:05:03.719 Acceptance and surrendering is accepting and surrendering to what you see, 0:05:04.360 --> 0:05:09.120 not what it is. We are not here to be 0:05:09.200 --> 0:05:12.599 a victim to our reality. We are here to create 0:05:12.640 --> 0:05:19.400 our reality. And you can't create your reality by allowing 0:05:19.440 --> 0:05:24.280 what you see to become what your reality is. It's 0:05:24.400 --> 0:05:27.880 just so hard though, and I remember it's it's it's 0:05:27.920 --> 0:05:30.120 a it's tricky because when I get DMS and people 0:05:30.160 --> 0:05:32.520 will say I just feel like I'm just still like 0:05:32.560 --> 0:05:34.520 it's I just it's so hard. And it's like that 0:05:34.600 --> 0:05:41.440 first year post divorce is the most sticky situation with 0:05:41.600 --> 0:05:43.880 all the feelings, and then you feel stuck and you 0:05:43.920 --> 0:05:46.160 feel sad and you feel angry, and it's like will 0:05:46.200 --> 0:05:48.720 I ever see the light again? Will I ever? Like? 0:05:48.800 --> 0:05:51.920 Will I ever accept this? And and I have such 0:05:51.960 --> 0:05:54.800 a hard time when people ask like how I got 0:05:54.800 --> 0:05:57.960 through it, It's like it's you just don't. I don't 0:05:57.960 --> 0:05:59.640 even have the right answer, like you obviously will have 0:05:59.720 --> 0:06:02.400 the sir, but it's you know, there's things that I 0:06:02.480 --> 0:06:05.480 did to kind of get on the other side. But again, 0:06:05.520 --> 0:06:07.400 I think it all goes back to the acceptance. But 0:06:07.560 --> 0:06:09.159 some people are like, well, how do I accept it? 0:06:09.240 --> 0:06:12.520 Like how do I do that? Yeah? And I love 0:06:12.560 --> 0:06:15.800 that question because I always say, you know, and I 0:06:15.839 --> 0:06:18.839 know all experts are giving their best and they have 0:06:19.000 --> 0:06:22.000 the best intent for the information they're putting out. But 0:06:22.160 --> 0:06:26.159 I get very frustrated. You know now that I'm an expert, 0:06:26.200 --> 0:06:28.080 and before I even when I wasn't. When I hear 0:06:28.120 --> 0:06:30.280 people tell me these tools and these tips of what 0:06:30.360 --> 0:06:33.480 to do, and I'm going, but how do I take 0:06:33.520 --> 0:06:35.880 the hammer? You're telling me to you to build a house? 0:06:36.440 --> 0:06:38.359 I don't know how to build a house, so you 0:06:38.640 --> 0:06:40.640 wouldn't you got a hammer? What do I do with 0:06:40.640 --> 0:06:42.880 this stuff? Right right? I'm here and just look at it. 0:06:42.920 --> 0:06:44.440 I don't know what to do, and so I love 0:06:44.480 --> 0:06:47.160 that question of how do you do it? It is 0:06:47.240 --> 0:06:51.320 exactly not just looking at the optics of your reality 0:06:51.360 --> 0:06:53.640 and saying I accept it, but setting what's self and 0:06:53.720 --> 0:06:57.200 taking a how do I feel inventory and accepting how 0:06:57.320 --> 0:07:02.040 you feel. I feel like a failure. Okay, okay, let 0:07:02.040 --> 0:07:06.960 me identify it. Okay, got it. I feel completely heartbroken. 0:07:07.440 --> 0:07:11.920 Identify with that. I feel lost. My whole world is shattered. 0:07:12.000 --> 0:07:15.520 Oh yeah, my heart is broken that too. And I 0:07:15.560 --> 0:07:19.520 don't feel like having to freaking start my whole world 0:07:19.840 --> 0:07:23.000 over again. That too. I have no interest in dating 0:07:23.480 --> 0:07:27.240 because I'm trying exhausted that too. So all of that 0:07:27.640 --> 0:07:31.440 stuff which is your stuff, the way that you start 0:07:31.480 --> 0:07:34.800 to dissipate it, the emotions you don't want to feel 0:07:34.960 --> 0:07:38.000 is not to suppress them, right, And it's not to 0:07:38.520 --> 0:07:41.360 resist them because as you know, what we resist persist. 0:07:41.520 --> 0:07:44.640 As we suppress, that thing fights to come up more. 0:07:45.000 --> 0:07:48.960 Not to bug you because it wants to externalize you 0:07:49.080 --> 0:07:54.920 from internalizing it, because suppression breeds depression, and internalizing does 0:07:55.040 --> 0:07:57.160 nothing but bubble up and you feel worse because it's 0:07:57.160 --> 0:07:59.440 trying to come out. So he said, this is how 0:07:59.480 --> 0:08:02.800 I fail, and it's best to write down to how 0:08:02.840 --> 0:08:06.840 I feel inventory and then start to map out, Okay, well, 0:08:07.080 --> 0:08:11.240 how do I want to feel if I don't like 0:08:11.360 --> 0:08:14.080 the way I feel? And as you write down the 0:08:14.080 --> 0:08:16.080 other side of the paper, how I want to feel 0:08:16.160 --> 0:08:18.760 goes back to what I said, how I feel problem problem, 0:08:18.760 --> 0:08:21.880 problem I don't like. It doesn't serve me because I've 0:08:21.880 --> 0:08:24.520 called off a wedding and engagement. And I totally totally 0:08:25.000 --> 0:08:28.200 empathize with you on feeling just all these mixed emotions 0:08:28.200 --> 0:08:32.600 and some days you're good and some days you're absolutely spiraling. Okay, 0:08:32.840 --> 0:08:34.720 And then on the right side of the paper, we're 0:08:34.720 --> 0:08:39.360 going to write the solution narrative, right, and you can't 0:08:39.400 --> 0:08:41.560 be in both. So the days that you are in 0:08:41.640 --> 0:08:44.120 the problem narrative, which is how you feel that you 0:08:44.160 --> 0:08:47.560 don't want to feel. Go to your solution narrative and 0:08:47.600 --> 0:08:51.600 say what emotion? Can I generate? What emotion? Can I 0:08:51.640 --> 0:08:53.880 pull up right now? Can I read a book to 0:08:53.920 --> 0:08:55.560 get that emotion? Can I go for a walk? Can 0:08:55.600 --> 0:08:57.480 I read? Can I go have a glass of wine 0:08:57.480 --> 0:09:00.280 with my girlfriend? Can I lay pull side? I don't 0:09:00.280 --> 0:09:01.719 know if I can. I sit for thirty minutes and 0:09:01.760 --> 0:09:08.680 meditate to get into the resolution, right space energy, and 0:09:08.800 --> 0:09:10.640 you start to swap out as you get into the 0:09:11.000 --> 0:09:14.960 the the solution narrative. Guess what happens. You naturally start 0:09:15.000 --> 0:09:19.240 to emotionally regulate which you don't want to feel, right, 0:09:19.480 --> 0:09:25.640 And that's the that's how you positively manipulate your emotions. Right. Yeah, 0:09:25.640 --> 0:09:39.800 I like that a lot. I feel like I'm hoping 0:09:39.840 --> 0:09:42.000 that this is well. I actually I don't want everyone 0:09:42.000 --> 0:09:43.720 feeling this either. But the start of a year for 0:09:43.760 --> 0:09:48.280 me is tough workwise, because I feel like I'm i'm 0:09:48.320 --> 0:09:50.080 I feel like I'm on a bike and it's not 0:09:50.120 --> 0:09:54.280 going anywhere, Like literally, it's I'm on my stationary freebeat 0:09:54.280 --> 0:09:58.520 bike like it's I'm I am hustling so bad and 0:09:58.559 --> 0:10:02.200 it's just staying put and because it's like I don't 0:10:02.200 --> 0:10:03.560 know when this is going to go or when that's 0:10:03.559 --> 0:10:06.760 going to go. And then when stuff is stagnant and 0:10:06.840 --> 0:10:09.720 not progressing, I start to go, well, then what's my purpose? 0:10:10.440 --> 0:10:12.080 What am i? Am I really doing the right thing? 0:10:12.080 --> 0:10:13.920 And I don't know. I just like I don't know 0:10:13.960 --> 0:10:15.960 if that's something that happens just in the beginning of 0:10:15.960 --> 0:10:18.920 a year with work and you're questioning things, or if 0:10:18.960 --> 0:10:21.480 that's just maybe the season that I'm in. I feel 0:10:21.480 --> 0:10:23.679 like sometimes I do that, like every eight months, I 0:10:23.760 --> 0:10:25.280 kind of question like, oh God, what am I doing? 0:10:25.360 --> 0:10:27.560 Or what's my purpose? Or is this all for something? 0:10:27.679 --> 0:10:31.240 And and but right now it's like, you know, heading 0:10:31.280 --> 0:10:35.440 towards March, it's like trying to shift the energy to 0:10:35.520 --> 0:10:38.400 go just keep going when it's just like you're just 0:10:38.480 --> 0:10:43.800 tired from staying stuck in staying stationary. Yeah. I love 0:10:43.880 --> 0:10:47.240 that too, because I always say a couple of things 0:10:47.240 --> 0:10:50.240 about that we have to learn our seasons. My season 0:10:50.320 --> 0:10:54.000 not your season, nor don't want it to be. This 0:10:54.120 --> 0:10:57.080 is why I don't like New Year's resolutions. I support them. 0:10:57.200 --> 0:10:58.720 If I have any clients that want to do am 0:10:58.720 --> 0:11:00.560 I support them. I'll draw it al for them and 0:11:00.600 --> 0:11:03.800 help them. I'm not a fan of it because January, 0:11:03.840 --> 0:11:06.000 if that's not my season, then I'm planning seeds and 0:11:06.040 --> 0:11:10.040 if they don't harvest, then I become doubtful and disempowered 0:11:10.120 --> 0:11:14.120 right and discourage. What have made June July is my season. 0:11:15.120 --> 0:11:18.160 That's when my harvest comes. And so I have to 0:11:18.240 --> 0:11:21.480 learn when is my season? One two, I have to 0:11:21.559 --> 0:11:27.240 learn what do I plant? What seed do I plant? 0:11:27.320 --> 0:11:30.200 And in what soil do I plant it in? To 0:11:31.120 --> 0:11:36.719 maximize my harvest? What season am I planning it in 0:11:37.080 --> 0:11:42.440 to maximize my harvest? Am I planning it with to 0:11:42.520 --> 0:11:46.360 maximize my harvest? There's a lot of moving parts that 0:11:46.400 --> 0:11:50.079 take place for the sake of measuring when is your season? 0:11:50.520 --> 0:11:53.840 How do you get the most maximum result of what 0:11:54.200 --> 0:11:56.679 season or what your harvest will look like? And then 0:11:56.679 --> 0:12:02.160 the other thing is there are some seasons where stillness 0:12:02.400 --> 0:12:06.760 is part of your planting and so on purpose in 0:12:06.840 --> 0:12:10.480 stillness and so like, for you, if jan fab is 0:12:10.520 --> 0:12:17.240 this really still feeling of you described it as being stagnant, Well, 0:12:17.640 --> 0:12:21.120 what if January February isn't your action action action season? 0:12:21.600 --> 0:12:23.880 What if that's your meditative season? What if that is 0:12:23.920 --> 0:12:27.240 your stillness season. What if that is your recharge season? Right? 0:12:27.400 --> 0:12:30.080 What if that season is for you to figure out 0:12:30.200 --> 0:12:33.680 what has bloomed and what is harvest for you to celebrate, 0:12:34.240 --> 0:12:38.959 to celebrate your hardest and they make march in April, 0:12:39.960 --> 0:12:43.680 get back to planting. Okay, that makes me feel better. 0:12:44.920 --> 0:12:47.560 Stillness a lot of purpose in stillness. And the reason 0:12:47.679 --> 0:12:52.640 why a lot of people's manifestation moves so slow is 0:12:52.679 --> 0:12:56.480 because when they are supposed to be being still for 0:12:56.559 --> 0:13:00.360 the sake of retrieving what the next steps would be, 0:13:00.360 --> 0:13:05.120 our look like they're resisting the steelness to become more 0:13:05.160 --> 0:13:07.800 action based. When you have to. There's a there's a 0:13:07.840 --> 0:13:11.240 c planting season, and there's a harvest planting season. Now 0:13:11.400 --> 0:13:13.800 to go biblical, the Bible even talks about that, and 0:13:13.960 --> 0:13:17.040 we have to know when that is for us, because 0:13:17.040 --> 0:13:20.040 I can't over at you and go harvest for her, 0:13:20.880 --> 0:13:23.480 no harvest for me. I don't know when you planted 0:13:23.559 --> 0:13:26.200 that anyways, I don't even know the magnitude of what 0:13:26.240 --> 0:13:31.760 you planted, right, Yeah, No, I love that's that makes 0:13:31.800 --> 0:13:34.319 me feel better. Yeah, I love. I love the seasons. 0:13:34.320 --> 0:13:37.959 And I've never been one on resolutions. I read a 0:13:37.960 --> 0:13:40.200 book a long time ago called The Happiness Project, where 0:13:40.200 --> 0:13:42.199 it was basically once a month to do something that's 0:13:42.440 --> 0:13:44.679 you know, a goal for that month. And I've kind 0:13:44.720 --> 0:13:47.880 of liked that, but I usually end up falling off 0:13:47.880 --> 0:13:50.280 of it, like like oh shoot, I forgot But I 0:13:50.280 --> 0:13:52.960 think it's just being mindful of Okay, yeah, the season, 0:13:53.040 --> 0:13:56.320 and I really love that at Can you tell us 0:13:56.320 --> 0:13:58.880 a little about your book, Mental Detox. I'm just curious 0:13:58.880 --> 0:14:01.040 because it's I feel like we could all use a 0:14:01.040 --> 0:14:04.160 little mental because we do gut detoxes. So what's the 0:14:04.240 --> 0:14:09.360 what's the mental detox? Yeah? Mental Detox is um my 0:14:09.480 --> 0:14:11.760 first book I wrote way back in twenty fourteen, and 0:14:11.840 --> 0:14:15.320 people seem to still love it and even love it 0:14:15.400 --> 0:14:19.880 more now. It's still selling like hotcakes, which is more impressive, 0:14:20.000 --> 0:14:22.520 not for the cells, but for the fact that that 0:14:22.560 --> 0:14:25.880 tells me the book is extremely impactful and it's changing lives. 0:14:26.360 --> 0:14:30.160 It consists of giving tips and tools and many examples 0:14:30.160 --> 0:14:34.840 of how you detox your entire life by using the 0:14:34.880 --> 0:14:39.120 garden metaphor uh that as as your your your minding, 0:14:39.160 --> 0:14:42.200 and your your mental is your garden, and your mind 0:14:42.280 --> 0:14:46.160 like a garden um. You know, if if it goes unattenant. 0:14:46.200 --> 0:14:49.760 You attract rods and weedings and so rodents and wheats, 0:14:49.760 --> 0:14:53.320 and so you can't not attend to it and think 0:14:53.360 --> 0:14:56.840 that it will just flourish on its own. It takes work, 0:14:57.440 --> 0:15:00.400 and so it also explains what that work looks like, right, 0:15:00.400 --> 0:15:03.240 and it looks like your garden needs to take how 0:15:03.320 --> 0:15:07.160 but inventory right before there's seasons, there's an inventory season. 0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:09.040 Why we're talking about seasons where you take inventory of 0:15:09.080 --> 0:15:11.760 your garden, sure gardening, the people, the places of things, 0:15:11.760 --> 0:15:14.320 a circumstances of thoughts, the action of the behaviors, all 0:15:14.360 --> 0:15:16.760 the stuff that you are involved in, and look at 0:15:16.760 --> 0:15:18.360 it and say, how is it serving me? If it's 0:15:18.400 --> 0:15:21.680 not serving, you plow out. Okay, if it's serving you 0:15:21.760 --> 0:15:25.080 leave in nurture. And the things you plow out rid 0:15:25.080 --> 0:15:27.440 of with no guilt because you're not doing it from 0:15:27.440 --> 0:15:30.880 a bad are a negative intentional space. You're doing it 0:15:30.920 --> 0:15:33.200 from a place of it's serving you. And when things 0:15:33.280 --> 0:15:35.880 serve you, guess what you can better serve other people? 0:15:36.360 --> 0:15:39.360 And then you start to take inventory of, well, what 0:15:39.440 --> 0:15:41.560 harvests do I want in my garden? Right? What do 0:15:41.560 --> 0:15:43.800 I want my gardener look like? And of course they're 0:15:43.840 --> 0:15:46.480 not talking about vegetables and trees and fruits. We're talking 0:15:46.480 --> 0:15:49.960 about you know, the goals. These seeds are your goals. 0:15:50.000 --> 0:15:52.280 These seeds are how you want to show up in, 0:15:53.800 --> 0:15:55.600 how you show How would you be PLoud if you 0:15:55.600 --> 0:15:57.200 showed up in that in that type of person, that 0:15:57.280 --> 0:16:00.000 type of character. So you're planning character seeds. You're planning, 0:16:00.520 --> 0:16:03.480 you know, maybe for you it's dating seeds. Maybe for 0:16:03.560 --> 0:16:06.440 you it's healing myself seeds. What does that look like? 0:16:06.880 --> 0:16:09.480 What does my next marriage look like? When I get there? Hey, 0:16:09.520 --> 0:16:11.920 don't wait to want it, to plant it. Let's start 0:16:11.920 --> 0:16:14.840 planting those season now so that you won't have to 0:16:14.880 --> 0:16:18.480 be in your be steel season hoping for an harvest 0:16:18.480 --> 0:16:20.760 because you plant it too late. And so mental detox 0:16:20.880 --> 0:16:23.360 is all about detox in your garden. I e. Your 0:16:23.400 --> 0:16:25.400 mind of all the stuff that does not serve you, 0:16:25.560 --> 0:16:28.320 but take an inventory of what that is, and then 0:16:28.400 --> 0:16:31.840 planting all the stuff that does serve you, nurturing it, 0:16:32.200 --> 0:16:35.320 watering it, and being patient to understand that it will 0:16:35.400 --> 0:16:38.600 bloom in its season, not when you want it to, 0:16:38.960 --> 0:16:41.760 but in its season. So I tell everyone there you 0:16:41.800 --> 0:16:45.520 should be doing two things as a lifestyle, and it 0:16:45.560 --> 0:16:50.760 will help you with being patient in the stealness seasons 0:16:50.880 --> 0:16:53.080 or in the seasons when there isn't always a harvest. 0:16:53.360 --> 0:16:56.680 So you should be either planting or receiving a harvest. 0:16:57.080 --> 0:16:59.600 Planting or receiving a harvest. How do you make sure 0:16:59.600 --> 0:17:02.320 you're a harvest every day? Well, for those who don't 0:17:02.320 --> 0:17:04.919 have harvesting now, because you haven't been planting anything, that's okay. 0:17:05.320 --> 0:17:09.600 You start to plant seeds every day, all day, right, 0:17:09.600 --> 0:17:12.639 and before you know it, when you wake up, you'll 0:17:12.720 --> 0:17:15.600 be an autopilot. Up, I'm planting this today. But then 0:17:15.640 --> 0:17:17.680 when you shift to the right, you see a harvest 0:17:17.680 --> 0:17:19.680 of which you plant six months ago or a year ago. 0:17:19.920 --> 0:17:22.359 So your job is to do two things, plant and receive, 0:17:22.600 --> 0:17:26.320 plants and receive, and that ultimately results in your very 0:17:26.440 --> 0:17:29.520 one job, which is to be happy. Because when you're happy, 0:17:29.760 --> 0:17:32.960 you're receiving. Vessels are wide open, sure, and so you 0:17:33.040 --> 0:17:35.360 need things to be wide open for you to receive. 0:17:35.760 --> 0:17:37.879 And so the idea is not to shut down because 0:17:37.880 --> 0:17:40.560 of a divorce, because of a heartbreak, because of firing 0:17:40.560 --> 0:17:41.879 a way off of a job, or because of a 0:17:41.960 --> 0:17:45.919 bad decision. Because when you shut down your garden, nothing 0:17:45.960 --> 0:17:51.919 gets in, nothing gets out, including yourself an island. Yeah, 0:17:51.480 --> 0:17:54.960 and nobody wants to be that now. No one honestly 0:17:55.040 --> 0:17:58.600 wants to visit that island as not that kind of 0:17:58.640 --> 0:18:02.320 island when you're alone, you know what I mean? Mhm, 0:18:03.080 --> 0:18:08.200 A deserted island with with no lodging, no harvests, no food. 0:18:08.640 --> 0:18:13.359 Yeah nothing. No one pays for a flight to go 0:18:13.520 --> 0:18:18.400 visit that island unless you just need like one day 0:18:18.440 --> 0:18:22.360 away from the kids in a quiet piecel. Besides that, 0:18:22.720 --> 0:18:24.760 but you are the life coach on the Teen Mom 0:18:25.080 --> 0:18:28.920 Family Reunion show, is it well? A has that been 0:18:29.600 --> 0:18:33.000 fulfilling in a way where you get to impact even 0:18:33.040 --> 0:18:35.359 more people? Because obviously your work, just like when you 0:18:35.400 --> 0:18:38.000 come in podcasts like your your words spread to thousands 0:18:38.040 --> 0:18:40.919 and hundred, hundreds of thousands of people, And has that 0:18:41.000 --> 0:18:43.640 been rewarding for you to kind of see that impact 0:18:43.680 --> 0:18:48.920 that you make absolutely before doing the show, just being 0:18:48.920 --> 0:18:52.879 in like my doctorate program, Um, I remember like my 0:18:52.920 --> 0:18:55.359 professor asking even my masks with program, hey who's going 0:18:55.400 --> 0:18:57.360 to get license? You know, raise your hand, everyone, raise 0:18:57.440 --> 0:19:00.240 your hands, set me And professor said, well, why are 0:19:00.280 --> 0:19:02.239 you going through twelve years of school and to not 0:19:02.320 --> 0:19:04.960 get license? You just gonna hang this, you know, diploma 0:19:05.000 --> 0:19:06.320 on your wall. I said, well, yeah, I hang it 0:19:06.359 --> 0:19:08.280 on my wall on my office and have office back 0:19:08.320 --> 0:19:10.120 then yet but I manifested it as you can see 0:19:10.119 --> 0:19:12.719 behind me hanging on my wall in my office. However, 0:19:13.119 --> 0:19:16.000 I also not only want to be in private practice, 0:19:16.040 --> 0:19:17.960 but I you know, I said, I said, I want 0:19:17.960 --> 0:19:20.120 to have a platform. I don't know how God's gonna 0:19:20.520 --> 0:19:23.760 you know, how He's gonna construct it, but I'm have 0:19:23.760 --> 0:19:26.320 a platform where I'm able to change lives. I'm able 0:19:26.320 --> 0:19:30.520 to heal people at a bigger capacity, by the by 0:19:30.520 --> 0:19:34.000 the millions, and it will be you know, global. Not 0:19:34.040 --> 0:19:35.960 for the sake of ego, but for the sake of 0:19:36.560 --> 0:19:38.800 I was a little girl and I had to figure 0:19:38.800 --> 0:19:41.480 out how to get through abandonment, how to get through adversity. 0:19:41.760 --> 0:19:43.560 And when I got to a place of taking my 0:19:43.640 --> 0:19:47.520 broken pieces of making peace from it, I thought, no, no, no, 0:19:47.560 --> 0:19:49.760 I'm not the only one that can do this. I'm 0:19:49.800 --> 0:19:53.080 not the only one who is allowed to do this. 0:19:53.160 --> 0:19:55.480 And it's a human right that everyone has mental health 0:19:55.480 --> 0:19:58.520 and a peace of mind. And give me the platform 0:19:59.320 --> 0:20:02.720 and I will spread those I will give those tools, 0:20:02.760 --> 0:20:05.280 and I will make sure that I'm giving everything that 0:20:05.320 --> 0:20:08.359 I use within myself and giving everything that I am 0:20:08.680 --> 0:20:11.560 so that people can have that peace. And for me, 0:20:11.600 --> 0:20:13.399 I call it God's peace, and everyone can call it 0:20:13.440 --> 0:20:17.119 whatever they want pieces peace and it's just a space 0:20:17.119 --> 0:20:23.280 that I've arrived to that it has no currency. It 0:20:23.359 --> 0:20:28.399 is priceless, and it is everything that I've seen in 0:20:28.440 --> 0:20:31.439 my seventeen years of being in the mental health failed. 0:20:32.720 --> 0:20:35.960 Everyone that I've run into, whether they're on the couch 0:20:35.960 --> 0:20:39.040 and session with me, are just having conversation, we all 0:20:39.040 --> 0:20:41.480 have that one thing in common. I want to we 0:20:41.600 --> 0:20:43.440 want to be at peace and we want to be happy, 0:20:43.480 --> 0:20:46.240 and it takes work. And so for me being on 0:20:46.280 --> 0:20:49.119 the show, not just seeing the team moms and dads 0:20:49.119 --> 0:20:51.439 have breakthroughs and use the tools that it be extremely 0:20:51.480 --> 0:20:55.000 effective and then go through life's roller coasters, but learn 0:20:55.040 --> 0:20:57.879 how to be more balanced and regulate themselves through the 0:20:58.000 --> 0:20:59.879 roller coasters of what life is going to do to 0:21:00.040 --> 0:21:02.879 every body, and then learning how not to personalize it. 0:21:03.240 --> 0:21:07.000 Also hearing folks around the world say I see myself 0:21:07.119 --> 0:21:09.760 in this person. I seen myself in Jade. I seen 0:21:09.840 --> 0:21:12.760 myself and may say seen myself and kaya and the 0:21:12.760 --> 0:21:16.600 tools you gave them I've used and It's changed my life. 0:21:16.680 --> 0:21:18.680 My marriage is better, in my relationship with my son 0:21:18.800 --> 0:21:23.920 or daughter has taken more of a positive momentum. Those 0:21:23.960 --> 0:21:27.159 things for me are again they're cathartic, They're life changing, 0:21:27.160 --> 0:21:30.760 and they remind me every day of why I'm in 0:21:30.840 --> 0:21:36.520 my purpose right and why what I do is my 0:21:36.640 --> 0:21:39.880 real paycheck, it's my real currency, it's it's my real value. 0:21:40.000 --> 0:21:44.120 And so yeah, it is absolutely it's very rewarding to 0:21:44.359 --> 0:21:47.399 be able to and I think the biggest thing we 0:21:47.440 --> 0:21:49.760 all can have, I think, and I believe what legacy 0:21:49.880 --> 0:21:53.720 is is the impact in lives that we change more 0:21:53.760 --> 0:21:57.600 than then that we make of ourselves. Yeah, that's that's 0:21:57.640 --> 0:22:14.120 so true. I'm curious to like, with everything that you do, 0:22:14.359 --> 0:22:16.800 all the people that you help, is there something where 0:22:18.640 --> 0:22:21.520 you just kind of beat your head and go, I 0:22:21.680 --> 0:22:24.240 just like, I wish that like the people could see this, 0:22:24.400 --> 0:22:28.080 or I think I wish like where it gets frustrating 0:22:28.119 --> 0:22:35.600 for you. M not so much frustrating, but the more 0:22:35.720 --> 0:22:37.600 you know, the I wish they can get this and 0:22:37.680 --> 0:22:41.400 see this it. You know, it happens often in session 0:22:41.520 --> 0:22:45.720 when I'm seeing the bigness, I'm seeing the beauty, I'm 0:22:45.760 --> 0:22:51.440 seeing the awesomeness of you know, my client in session 0:22:51.520 --> 0:22:54.840 who is just not quite there yet. They just don't 0:22:54.960 --> 0:22:58.439 see the bigger picture. They don't see, you know, the 0:22:58.480 --> 0:23:02.080 bigness of themselves, the big of their God, the bigness 0:23:02.119 --> 0:23:04.520 of their source, the bigness of whatever they believe in. 0:23:05.640 --> 0:23:07.920 That's when I'm And then when I see them right 0:23:07.960 --> 0:23:10.879