Speaker 1: Wine Down with Janet Kramer and I Heart Radio Podcast.
Speaker 1: So excited for this week's episode. We have doctor Cheyenne
Speaker 1: Bryant coming on. She's a renowned life coach with a
Speaker 1: master's degree in marriage, family and child therapy. She's a
Speaker 1: psychology expert and a Team Mom life coach. She's on
Speaker 1: the show Teen Mom Family Reunion, which is on every Tuesday.
Speaker 1: How are you. I'm doing good. Yeah for asking, I'm
Speaker 1: doing really good. I had a really good morning. I've
Speaker 1: had a few breakthroughs and that always always cathartic for me.
Speaker 1: What's the best breakthrough that you get to witness? Oh gosh,
Speaker 1: it's well, so many different ones. It's more of when
Speaker 1: I see their resistance, dissipate, demise, or I'm breaking through
Speaker 1: the resistance of an awareness that was stopping them from
Speaker 1: getting where they are to where they want to be.
Speaker 1: That means that now it's green light for them to
Speaker 1: run all the plays necessary to reach that goal, whatever
Speaker 1: that goal is. Because resistance is something that keeps it's
Speaker 1: the only thing that keeps us from where we want
Speaker 1: to be. When I say where we want to be,
Speaker 1: it's not always a physical transition of location. It could
Speaker 1: be emotional or it can be demising of disordered thinking,
Speaker 1: it can be just a peace of mind, right, whatever
Speaker 1: that looks like. It's the resistance that is allowing you
Speaker 1: to be in your own way. So when I see
Speaker 1: my clients get out of their own way and get
Speaker 1: past their own resistance, for me, I'm going, oh my god,
Speaker 1: because that's where the magic happens. Right, So, manifestation happens
Speaker 1: at the point of agreement, and you can't have agreement
Speaker 1: if you have resistance like that, So then you're not
Speaker 1: manifesting anything because you're not in agreement with yourself. There's resistance,
Speaker 1: and then you're always feeling this internal struggle. You're feeling
Speaker 1: in the gray and you feel stuck. And as we
Speaker 1: all know, there's no worse feeling than being stuck and
Speaker 1: seeking the answer. But they can't coosis, right, So stuck
Speaker 1: is the problem and the problem the answer cannot coexist.
Speaker 1: There are two different spaces and you have to choose
Speaker 1: which one you want to be in. Well, all of
Speaker 1: us are choosing answer, sure, but we're disconnected. If we're
Speaker 1: choosing and seeking answer and we're stuck in what problem? Mindset, problem, behavior,
Speaker 1: problem thoughts? You can't get here from here? Do you
Speaker 1: also think too, there's a piece of acceptance like you
Speaker 1: have to have. Like for me, a lot of the
Speaker 1: struggles that I've gone through, it's when I accepted what
Speaker 1: happened or where I'm at, that's when I can have
Speaker 1: the action. I guess right, So acceptance, but before actions
Speaker 1: you have to have acception, acceptance, accepting. So yeah, so
Speaker 1: the the should I say, the process if we have
Speaker 1: to go into you know steps, it goes the awareness, right, Oh,
Speaker 1: I have a problem, Sunday's not right right? Identifying that
Speaker 1: acceptance which is what you said, huge huge step into
Speaker 1: what the resolution acceptance, which is surrendering. I accept this
Speaker 1: is what it is. I surrender to it. Doesn't mean
Speaker 1: I'm okay with staying here. What the reality is? You know,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm a thirty two year old woman divorced and
Speaker 1: I don't want to start over. But that's any reality
Speaker 1: of it. I accept it, I surrender to it. And
Speaker 1: then once acceptance and surrendering takes place, guess what you
Speaker 1: have now got your power back? Yeah? I think that's
Speaker 1: a huge PC. You mentioned the divorce too, and we
Speaker 1: talked about this on my Monday podcast, where when I divorce.
Speaker 1: There was so much anger, and it's almost like when
Speaker 1: I accepted the reality that I didn't want, then I
Speaker 1: was able that anger. Sure, I mean underneath it was
Speaker 1: all sadness, right, but I was able to have a
Speaker 1: new light and just go. I can't do anything about
Speaker 1: what happened, or how much I had to pay or
Speaker 1: whatever it was. I have to just now. It's I
Speaker 1: have to make a choice. I mean, they're going to
Speaker 1: just stay angry or Okay, this is what it is now,
Speaker 1: and let's try and find some light somewhere else. That's
Speaker 1: the power of acceptance. Yeah, I surrendering is exactly what
Speaker 1: you said. This is where I'm at. I have to
Speaker 1: visually see the optics of it. I can't have a
Speaker 1: disconnect between perception and reality. However, accepting your reality is
Speaker 1: accepting what you see. I want people to be clear
Speaker 1: on this. It's accepting what you see. It's not accepting
Speaker 1: what it is. I want to say it one more time.
Speaker 1: Acceptance and surrendering is accepting and surrendering to what you see,
Speaker 1: not what it is. We are not here to be
Speaker 1: a victim to our reality. We are here to create
Speaker 1: our reality. And you can't create your reality by allowing
Speaker 1: what you see to become what your reality is. It's
Speaker 1: just so hard though, and I remember it's it's it's
Speaker 1: a it's tricky because when I get DMS and people
Speaker 1: will say I just feel like I'm just still like
Speaker 1: it's I just it's so hard. And it's like that
Speaker 1: first year post divorce is the most sticky situation with
Speaker 1: all the feelings, and then you feel stuck and you
Speaker 1: feel sad and you feel angry, and it's like will
Speaker 1: I ever see the light again? Will I ever? Like?
Speaker 1: Will I ever accept this? And and I have such
Speaker 1: a hard time when people ask like how I got
Speaker 1: through it, It's like it's you just don't. I don't
Speaker 1: even have the right answer, like you obviously will have
Speaker 1: the sir, but it's you know, there's things that I
Speaker 1: did to kind of get on the other side. But again,
Speaker 1: I think it all goes back to the acceptance. But
Speaker 1: some people are like, well, how do I accept it?
Speaker 1: Like how do I do that? Yeah? And I love
Speaker 1: that question because I always say, you know, and I
Speaker 1: know all experts are giving their best and they have
Speaker 1: the best intent for the information they're putting out. But
Speaker 1: I get very frustrated. You know now that I'm an expert,
Speaker 1: and before I even when I wasn't. When I hear
Speaker 1: people tell me these tools and these tips of what
Speaker 1: to do, and I'm going, but how do I take
Speaker 1: the hammer? You're telling me to you to build a house?
Speaker 1: I don't know how to build a house, so you
Speaker 1: wouldn't you got a hammer? What do I do with
Speaker 1: this stuff? Right right? I'm here and just look at it.
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do, and so I love
Speaker 1: that question of how do you do it? It is
Speaker 1: exactly not just looking at the optics of your reality
Speaker 1: and saying I accept it, but setting what's self and
Speaker 1: taking a how do I feel inventory and accepting how
Speaker 1: you feel. I feel like a failure. Okay, okay, let
Speaker 1: me identify it. Okay, got it. I feel completely heartbroken.
Speaker 1: Identify with that. I feel lost. My whole world is shattered.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, my heart is broken that too. And I
Speaker 1: don't feel like having to freaking start my whole world
Speaker 1: over again. That too. I have no interest in dating
Speaker 1: because I'm trying exhausted that too. So all of that
Speaker 1: stuff which is your stuff, the way that you start
Speaker 1: to dissipate it, the emotions you don't want to feel
Speaker 1: is not to suppress them, right, And it's not to
Speaker 1: resist them because as you know, what we resist persist.
Speaker 1: As we suppress, that thing fights to come up more.
Speaker 1: Not to bug you because it wants to externalize you
Speaker 1: from internalizing it, because suppression breeds depression, and internalizing does
Speaker 1: nothing but bubble up and you feel worse because it's
Speaker 1: trying to come out. So he said, this is how
Speaker 1: I fail, and it's best to write down to how
Speaker 1: I feel inventory and then start to map out, Okay, well,
Speaker 1: how do I want to feel if I don't like
Speaker 1: the way I feel? And as you write down the
Speaker 1: other side of the paper, how I want to feel
Speaker 1: goes back to what I said, how I feel problem problem,
Speaker 1: problem I don't like. It doesn't serve me because I've
Speaker 1: called off a wedding and engagement. And I totally totally
Speaker 1: empathize with you on feeling just all these mixed emotions
Speaker 1: and some days you're good and some days you're absolutely spiraling. Okay,
Speaker 1: And then on the right side of the paper, we're
Speaker 1: going to write the solution narrative, right, and you can't
Speaker 1: be in both. So the days that you are in
Speaker 1: the problem narrative, which is how you feel that you
Speaker 1: don't want to feel. Go to your solution narrative and
Speaker 1: say what emotion? Can I generate? What emotion? Can I
Speaker 1: pull up right now? Can I read a book to
Speaker 1: get that emotion? Can I go for a walk? Can
Speaker 1: I read? Can I go have a glass of wine
Speaker 1: with my girlfriend? Can I lay pull side? I don't
Speaker 1: know if I can. I sit for thirty minutes and
Speaker 1: meditate to get into the resolution, right space energy, and
Speaker 1: you start to swap out as you get into the
Speaker 1: the the solution narrative. Guess what happens. You naturally start
Speaker 1: to emotionally regulate which you don't want to feel, right,
Speaker 1: And that's the that's how you positively manipulate your emotions. Right. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I like that a lot. I feel like I'm hoping
Speaker 1: that this is well. I actually I don't want everyone
Speaker 1: feeling this either. But the start of a year for
Speaker 1: me is tough workwise, because I feel like I'm i'm
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm on a bike and it's not
Speaker 1: going anywhere, Like literally, it's I'm on my stationary freebeat
Speaker 1: bike like it's I'm I am hustling so bad and
Speaker 1: it's just staying put and because it's like I don't
Speaker 1: know when this is going to go or when that's
Speaker 1: going to go. And then when stuff is stagnant and
Speaker 1: not progressing, I start to go, well, then what's my purpose?
Speaker 1: What am i? Am I really doing the right thing?
Speaker 1: And I don't know. I just like I don't know
Speaker 1: if that's something that happens just in the beginning of
Speaker 1: a year with work and you're questioning things, or if
Speaker 1: that's just maybe the season that I'm in. I feel
Speaker 1: like sometimes I do that, like every eight months, I
Speaker 1: kind of question like, oh God, what am I doing?
Speaker 1: Or what's my purpose? Or is this all for something?
Speaker 1: And and but right now it's like, you know, heading
Speaker 1: towards March, it's like trying to shift the energy to
Speaker 1: go just keep going when it's just like you're just
Speaker 1: tired from staying stuck in staying stationary. Yeah. I love
Speaker 1: that too, because I always say a couple of things
Speaker 1: about that we have to learn our seasons. My season
Speaker 1: not your season, nor don't want it to be. This
Speaker 1: is why I don't like New Year's resolutions. I support them.
Speaker 1: If I have any clients that want to do am
Speaker 1: I support them. I'll draw it al for them and
Speaker 1: help them. I'm not a fan of it because January,
Speaker 1: if that's not my season, then I'm planning seeds and
Speaker 1: if they don't harvest, then I become doubtful and disempowered
Speaker 1: right and discourage. What have made June July is my season.
Speaker 1: That's when my harvest comes. And so I have to
Speaker 1: learn when is my season? One two, I have to
Speaker 1: learn what do I plant? What seed do I plant?
Speaker 1: And in what soil do I plant it in? To
Speaker 1: maximize my harvest? What season am I planning it in
Speaker 1: to maximize my harvest? Am I planning it with to
Speaker 1: maximize my harvest? There's a lot of moving parts that
Speaker 1: take place for the sake of measuring when is your season?
Speaker 1: How do you get the most maximum result of what
Speaker 1: season or what your harvest will look like? And then
Speaker 1: the other thing is there are some seasons where stillness
Speaker 1: is part of your planting and so on purpose in
Speaker 1: stillness and so like, for you, if jan fab is
Speaker 1: this really still feeling of you described it as being stagnant, Well,
Speaker 1: what if January February isn't your action action action season?
Speaker 1: What if that's your meditative season? What if that is
Speaker 1: your stillness season. What if that is your recharge season? Right?
Speaker 1: What if that season is for you to figure out
Speaker 1: what has bloomed and what is harvest for you to celebrate,
Speaker 1: to celebrate your hardest and they make march in April,
Speaker 1: get back to planting. Okay, that makes me feel better.
Speaker 1: Stillness a lot of purpose in stillness. And the reason
Speaker 1: why a lot of people's manifestation moves so slow is
Speaker 1: because when they are supposed to be being still for
Speaker 1: the sake of retrieving what the next steps would be,
Speaker 1: our look like they're resisting the steelness to become more
Speaker 1: action based. When you have to. There's a there's a
Speaker 1: c planting season, and there's a harvest planting season. Now
Speaker 1: to go biblical, the Bible even talks about that, and
Speaker 1: we have to know when that is for us, because
Speaker 1: I can't over at you and go harvest for her,
Speaker 1: no harvest for me. I don't know when you planted
Speaker 1: that anyways, I don't even know the magnitude of what
Speaker 1: you planted, right, Yeah, No, I love that's that makes
Speaker 1: me feel better. Yeah, I love. I love the seasons.
Speaker 1: And I've never been one on resolutions. I read a
Speaker 1: book a long time ago called The Happiness Project, where
Speaker 1: it was basically once a month to do something that's
Speaker 1: you know, a goal for that month. And I've kind
Speaker 1: of liked that, but I usually end up falling off
Speaker 1: of it, like like oh shoot, I forgot But I
Speaker 1: think it's just being mindful of Okay, yeah, the season,
Speaker 1: and I really love that at Can you tell us
Speaker 1: a little about your book, Mental Detox. I'm just curious
Speaker 1: because it's I feel like we could all use a
Speaker 1: little mental because we do gut detoxes. So what's the
Speaker 1: what's the mental detox? Yeah? Mental Detox is um my
Speaker 1: first book I wrote way back in twenty fourteen, and
Speaker 1: people seem to still love it and even love it
Speaker 1: more now. It's still selling like hotcakes, which is more impressive,
Speaker 1: not for the cells, but for the fact that that
Speaker 1: tells me the book is extremely impactful and it's changing lives.
Speaker 1: It consists of giving tips and tools and many examples
Speaker 1: of how you detox your entire life by using the
Speaker 1: garden metaphor uh that as as your your your minding,
Speaker 1: and your your mental is your garden, and your mind
Speaker 1: like a garden um. You know, if if it goes unattenant.
Speaker 1: You attract rods and weedings and so rodents and wheats,
Speaker 1: and so you can't not attend to it and think
Speaker 1: that it will just flourish on its own. It takes work,
Speaker 1: and so it also explains what that work looks like, right,
Speaker 1: and it looks like your garden needs to take how
Speaker 1: but inventory right before there's seasons, there's an inventory season.
Speaker 1: Why we're talking about seasons where you take inventory of
Speaker 1: your garden, sure gardening, the people, the places of things,
Speaker 1: a circumstances of thoughts, the action of the behaviors, all
Speaker 1: the stuff that you are involved in, and look at
Speaker 1: it and say, how is it serving me? If it's
Speaker 1: not serving, you plow out. Okay, if it's serving you
Speaker 1: leave in nurture. And the things you plow out rid
Speaker 1: of with no guilt because you're not doing it from
Speaker 1: a bad are a negative intentional space. You're doing it
Speaker 1: from a place of it's serving you. And when things
Speaker 1: serve you, guess what you can better serve other people?
Speaker 1: And then you start to take inventory of, well, what
Speaker 1: harvests do I want in my garden? Right? What do
Speaker 1: I want my gardener look like? And of course they're
Speaker 1: not talking about vegetables and trees and fruits. We're talking
Speaker 1: about you know, the goals. These seeds are your goals.
Speaker 1: These seeds are how you want to show up in,
Speaker 1: how you show How would you be PLoud if you
Speaker 1: showed up in that in that type of person, that
Speaker 1: type of character. So you're planning character seeds. You're planning,
Speaker 1: you know, maybe for you it's dating seeds. Maybe for
Speaker 1: you it's healing myself seeds. What does that look like?
Speaker 1: What does my next marriage look like? When I get there? Hey,
Speaker 1: don't wait to want it, to plant it. Let's start
Speaker 1: planting those season now so that you won't have to
Speaker 1: be in your be steel season hoping for an harvest
Speaker 1: because you plant it too late. And so mental detox
Speaker 1: is all about detox in your garden. I e. Your
Speaker 1: mind of all the stuff that does not serve you,
Speaker 1: but take an inventory of what that is, and then
Speaker 1: planting all the stuff that does serve you, nurturing it,
Speaker 1: watering it, and being patient to understand that it will
Speaker 1: bloom in its season, not when you want it to,
Speaker 1: but in its season. So I tell everyone there you
Speaker 1: should be doing two things as a lifestyle, and it
Speaker 1: will help you with being patient in the stealness seasons
Speaker 1: or in the seasons when there isn't always a harvest.
Speaker 1: So you should be either planting or receiving a harvest.
Speaker 1: Planting or receiving a harvest. How do you make sure
Speaker 1: you're a harvest every day? Well, for those who don't
Speaker 1: have harvesting now, because you haven't been planting anything, that's okay.
Speaker 1: You start to plant seeds every day, all day, right,
Speaker 1: and before you know it, when you wake up, you'll
Speaker 1: be an autopilot. Up, I'm planting this today. But then
Speaker 1: when you shift to the right, you see a harvest
Speaker 1: of which you plant six months ago or a year ago.
Speaker 1: So your job is to do two things, plant and receive,
Speaker 1: plants and receive, and that ultimately results in your very
Speaker 1: one job, which is to be happy. Because when you're happy,
Speaker 1: you're receiving. Vessels are wide open, sure, and so you
Speaker 1: need things to be wide open for you to receive.
Speaker 1: And so the idea is not to shut down because
Speaker 1: of a divorce, because of a heartbreak, because of firing
Speaker 1: a way off of a job, or because of a
Speaker 1: bad decision. Because when you shut down your garden, nothing
Speaker 1: gets in, nothing gets out, including yourself an island. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and nobody wants to be that now. No one honestly
Speaker 1: wants to visit that island as not that kind of
Speaker 1: island when you're alone, you know what I mean? Mhm,
Speaker 1: A deserted island with with no lodging, no harvests, no food.
Speaker 1: Yeah nothing. No one pays for a flight to go
Speaker 1: visit that island unless you just need like one day
Speaker 1: away from the kids in a quiet piecel. Besides that,
Speaker 1: but you are the life coach on the Teen Mom
Speaker 1: Family Reunion show, is it well? A has that been
Speaker 1: fulfilling in a way where you get to impact even
Speaker 1: more people? Because obviously your work, just like when you
Speaker 1: come in podcasts like your your words spread to thousands
Speaker 1: and hundred, hundreds of thousands of people, And has that
Speaker 1: been rewarding for you to kind of see that impact
Speaker 1: that you make absolutely before doing the show, just being
Speaker 1: in like my doctorate program, Um, I remember like my
Speaker 1: professor asking even my masks with program, hey who's going
Speaker 1: to get license? You know, raise your hand, everyone, raise
Speaker 1: your hands, set me And professor said, well, why are
Speaker 1: you going through twelve years of school and to not
Speaker 1: get license? You just gonna hang this, you know, diploma
Speaker 1: on your wall. I said, well, yeah, I hang it
Speaker 1: on my wall on my office and have office back
Speaker 1: then yet but I manifested it as you can see
Speaker 1: behind me hanging on my wall in my office. However,
Speaker 1: I also not only want to be in private practice,
Speaker 1: but I you know, I said, I said, I want
Speaker 1: to have a platform. I don't know how God's gonna
Speaker 1: you know, how He's gonna construct it, but I'm have
Speaker 1: a platform where I'm able to change lives. I'm able
Speaker 1: to heal people at a bigger capacity, by the by
Speaker 1: the millions, and it will be you know, global. Not
Speaker 1: for the sake of ego, but for the sake of
Speaker 1: I was a little girl and I had to figure
Speaker 1: out how to get through abandonment, how to get through adversity.
Speaker 1: And when I got to a place of taking my
Speaker 1: broken pieces of making peace from it, I thought, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'm not the only one that can do this. I'm
Speaker 1: not the only one who is allowed to do this.
Speaker 1: And it's a human right that everyone has mental health
Speaker 1: and a peace of mind. And give me the platform
Speaker 1: and I will spread those I will give those tools,
Speaker 1: and I will make sure that I'm giving everything that
Speaker 1: I use within myself and giving everything that I am
Speaker 1: so that people can have that peace. And for me,
Speaker 1: I call it God's peace, and everyone can call it
Speaker 1: whatever they want pieces peace and it's just a space
Speaker 1: that I've arrived to that it has no currency. It
Speaker 1: is priceless, and it is everything that I've seen in
Speaker 1: my seventeen years of being in the mental health failed.
Speaker 1: Everyone that I've run into, whether they're on the couch
Speaker 1: and session with me, are just having conversation, we all
Speaker 1: have that one thing in common. I want to we
Speaker 1: want to be at peace and we want to be happy,
Speaker 1: and it takes work. And so for me being on
Speaker 1: the show, not just seeing the team moms and dads
Speaker 1: have breakthroughs and use the tools that it be extremely
Speaker 1: effective and then go through life's roller coasters, but learn
Speaker 1: how to be more balanced and regulate themselves through the
Speaker 1: roller coasters of what life is going to do to
Speaker 1: every body, and then learning how not to personalize it.
Speaker 1: Also hearing folks around the world say I see myself
Speaker 1: in this person. I seen myself in Jade. I seen
Speaker 1: myself and may say seen myself and kaya and the
Speaker 1: tools you gave them I've used and It's changed my life.
Speaker 1: My marriage is better, in my relationship with my son
Speaker 1: or daughter has taken more of a positive momentum. Those
Speaker 1: things for me are again they're cathartic, They're life changing,
Speaker 1: and they remind me every day of why I'm in
Speaker 1: my purpose right and why what I do is my
Speaker 1: real paycheck, it's my real currency, it's it's my real value.
Speaker 1: And so yeah, it is absolutely it's very rewarding to
Speaker 1: be able to and I think the biggest thing we
Speaker 1: all can have, I think, and I believe what legacy
Speaker 1: is is the impact in lives that we change more
Speaker 1: than then that we make of ourselves. Yeah, that's that's
Speaker 1: so true. I'm curious to like, with everything that you do,
Speaker 1: all the people that you help, is there something where
Speaker 1: you just kind of beat your head and go, I
Speaker 1: just like, I wish that like the people could see this,
Speaker 1: or I think I wish like where it gets frustrating
Speaker 1: for you. M not so much frustrating, but the more
Speaker 1: you know, the I wish they can get this and
Speaker 1: see this it. You know, it happens often in session
Speaker 1: when I'm seeing the bigness, I'm seeing the beauty, I'm
Speaker 1: seeing the awesomeness of you know, my client in session
Speaker 1: who is just not quite there yet. They just don't
Speaker 1: see the bigger picture. They don't see, you know, the
Speaker 1: bigness of themselves, the big of their God, the bigness
Speaker 1: of their source, the bigness of whatever they believe in.
Speaker 1: That's when I'm And then when I see them right
Speaker 1: at edge of breakthrough, right at edge of that turning point,
Speaker 1: it's like I become this mama bear that wants to
Speaker 1: take it and turn it for him. And that's when
Speaker 1: I'm more like, sit on your hands, breathe patience. You know,
Speaker 1: it has to be a process, it has to be
Speaker 1: in a perfect timely matter. And that's why it takes
Speaker 1: an expert to be able to do what I do,
Speaker 1: when other coaches and therapists do, who really is seasoned
Speaker 1: to where they don't cause more impairments by moving too
Speaker 1: fast or probing too much, are poking in ways that
Speaker 1: will cause impairment to know how to pace because you know,
Speaker 1: a seasoned or even a good beginner therapist or coach,
Speaker 1: we see it before you see it, and that's why
Speaker 1: we're able to guide you to where it is. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the keyword right there, guy, because it's like, oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, the amount of times my therapist was like, okay,
Speaker 1: well if you know doing the cards, She's like, you're here,
Speaker 1: so how do we get here? You know? And it's like,
Speaker 1: now looking at it, I'm like, oh my god. She
Speaker 1: was trying to guide me, you know, just trying so hard.
Speaker 1: But it's like, y'all could tell us whatever you want
Speaker 1: to you're blue in the face. We have to get
Speaker 1: to a place where we sit there and go I'm done,
Speaker 1: and you've you've helped guide, but you didn't tell us
Speaker 1: what to do, right, because everyone's always telling us what
Speaker 1: to do and how to act and how to be.
Speaker 1: And it's like, you guys are just a safe place
Speaker 1: and truly a guide to lead us and lead us
Speaker 1: and show us what's right and what you know, where
Speaker 1: we should were, you know, what we should deserve and
Speaker 1: what we do deserve. Ye. And because of what you said,
Speaker 1: words don't teach experience does. So the reason why we
Speaker 1: got to not tell is because we can tell you
Speaker 1: all we want if you don't get the experience right,
Speaker 1: because words don't teach, experience does, and so we have
Speaker 1: to create, you know, or at least I do. I
Speaker 1: create an experience in the session um an emotional experience,
Speaker 1: a meditative experience, so that that person can feel I
Speaker 1: experience the shift, the breakthrough and go, oh my god,
Speaker 1: that's what it is. That's where it stems from. Oh
Speaker 1: I got chills. Oh I just felt that that's the
Speaker 1: experience moment. That's the life changing moment right there, versus
Speaker 1: it being a lectora. Well, this is how you do it.
Speaker 1: And you take the hammer and you you bang on
Speaker 1: the nails and you put one brick at a time,
Speaker 1: and this is you laid the cement. You're learning something,
Speaker 1: but you're not getting the experience, and experience teaches well,
Speaker 1: and you might not be ready for it either, Like
Speaker 1: there was you know, for however many years, I wasn't
Speaker 1: ready to grab the hammer, grab the nail, grab the wood.
Speaker 1: I just I just wasn't ready. And I think you
Speaker 1: have to get to a place where you're also ready
Speaker 1: to and you'll and you'll know. I think that's something
Speaker 1: too where someone asked me like, well, how do you know,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I promise you I asked the same thing
Speaker 1: for seven years. You will know. There will be a
Speaker 1: point when it's like no matter. You don't need your
Speaker 1: friends to you what to do or your therapist what
Speaker 1: to do. You will actually have the answer and know
Speaker 1: what to do. And that moment is the most powerful
Speaker 1: moment that you'll have. And now you just have to
Speaker 1: be strong enough to listen to that and move yep
Speaker 1: to that, keep listening to that, and the more you
Speaker 1: listen to your inner self, it's like a muscle. Well,
Speaker 1: I think it's so hard because you's so I've always
Speaker 1: like I doubt that. I'm like, well, well maybe that's
Speaker 1: just because I'm emotional, or I'm on my period, or
Speaker 1: I don't know, like it's like you or this person
Speaker 1: said this. But so it's like you you have so
Speaker 1: many outside voices, and that's something that I've learned nearing
Speaker 1: forty is like limiting the people that get to have
Speaker 1: a say or get to come into my brain and
Speaker 1: thoughts and or even want their opinion, because it's like,
Speaker 1: it's my life. I get to make the shots. I
Speaker 1: get to call the shots. Now I might ask. I
Speaker 1: think it's important to have friends that you know share
Speaker 1: their their thoughts, but also I think it can be
Speaker 1: very harmful too to have too many opinions because then
Speaker 1: you lose sight of what you feel one drowning out
Speaker 1: the outside chatter is the number one, you know, thing
Speaker 1: that strengthens your inside or inner voice, because the inner
Speaker 1: voice is not a chatter, it's your guiding system. It's
Speaker 1: your voice. And when you are having outside chatter, be
Speaker 1: louder than your inner voice, or you're going to harken
Speaker 1: to the voice that's louder. And so again, knowing how
Speaker 1: much you're sharing, into who you're sharing it with, and
Speaker 1: trusting what comes up in you as you you know,
Speaker 1: dim or turn down the value of the other voices.
Speaker 1: The value in you has always been turned up. You're
Speaker 1: just now able to actually hear it because you're not
Speaker 1: distracted by the things that don't know you. They don't
Speaker 1: know you as well as your sense of self. When
Speaker 1: your inner voice knows you, they never will. That's the
Speaker 1: beauty of it because then we have our power. It's
Speaker 1: in us, right m h. And we got where it's
Speaker 1: happened to that and we might find it in different
Speaker 1: seasons to circle that background. That's all you will find it.
Speaker 1: Hum Doctor Brian, thank you so much for coming the show.
Speaker 1: Watch new episodes of Teen Mom Family Reunion every Tuesday
Speaker 1: at MTV at eight pm. We're also can our listeners
Speaker 1: find you and and just follow along now totally at
Speaker 1: doctor Brant dot co. And that's doctor Brant dot ceo
Speaker 1: not dot com. And on the media, I am underscore
Speaker 1: doctor Bryant and you can google doctor Shy and Briant.
Speaker 1: I come up number one on Google with my book
Speaker 1: Mental dtoms, Yeah, Coach b teen Mom, all those things
Speaker 1: you can put on Google, and my website shows up
Speaker 1: my contact informations there and you can contact me from
Speaker 1: my website. You can book sessions on my website, and
Speaker 1: you can obviously tune into teen Mom every two well
Speaker 1: our season just ended, but every Tuesday next season if
Speaker 1: we get a season three, which you know fingers crossed, yeah,
Speaker 1: manopastest manifesting that and so yeah, but there's definitely way
Speaker 1: to contact with me Doctor Brian dot co and Instagram
Speaker 1: Underscore doctor Bryant. And one last thing, if there's something
Speaker 1: that you could say to anyone that is just truly
Speaker 1: stuck in this moment, what's one thing that can maybe
Speaker 1: shed a little light. Meditate the go. Meditate every day
Speaker 1: ten minutes minimum and whatever comes up, trust it and
Speaker 1: listen to it, trust yourself and trust the process. You
Speaker 1: already know where you want. You already know where you
Speaker 1: want to go. As soon as you completely dissipate the
Speaker 1: outside chatter, you'll be able to hear exactly what you want.
Speaker 1: And You're happy is in you. And so as you
Speaker 1: allow you to come up and you build a relationship
Speaker 1: with yourself, then you will be in You're happy. And lastly,
Speaker 1: we are so caught up in building relationships with other people,
Speaker 1: and don't get me want wrong. Relationships are your your
Speaker 1: vessel to business, your vessel to connection. However, the most
Speaker 1: important relationship you will ever have is that relationship with yourself,
Speaker 1: and you can't build it until you actually put in
Speaker 1: the work and the investment and getting to know you,
Speaker 1: listening to you, trusting you, and really believing in the
Speaker 1: connection within yourself. And that's where you will build this
Speaker 1: self nest that will demise the codependency of having to
Speaker 1: always find someone else's nest to nest in. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: it's a very powerful place when you nest in you, Yes, nesting.
Speaker 1: I love that. Well, you're the best. Thanks for coming on.
Speaker 1: Really appreciate us. A lot of people are going to
Speaker 1: take a lot from this, so thank you. Thank you
Speaker 1: for having me in great information, great questions, and thank
Speaker 1: you for having a platform where people can actually tune
Speaker 1: into get tools, get information, and get gems that will
Speaker 1: hopefully change your life. Oh yeah, girl, appreciate you. Alright,
Speaker 1: Bye honey, See yah