1 00:00:01,880 --> 00:00:05,320 Speaker 1: Wine Down with Janet Kramer and I Heart Radio Podcast. 2 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:10,080 Speaker 1: So excited for this week's episode. We have doctor Cheyenne 3 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:12,920 Speaker 1: Bryant coming on. She's a renowned life coach with a 4 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:16,400 Speaker 1: master's degree in marriage, family and child therapy. She's a 5 00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:19,560 Speaker 1: psychology expert and a Team Mom life coach. She's on 6 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:22,880 Speaker 1: the show Teen Mom Family Reunion, which is on every Tuesday. 7 00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:26,720 Speaker 1: How are you. I'm doing good. Yeah for asking, I'm 8 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:29,040 Speaker 1: doing really good. I had a really good morning. I've 9 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:34,840 Speaker 1: had a few breakthroughs and that always always cathartic for me. 10 00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:40,600 Speaker 1: What's the best breakthrough that you get to witness? Oh gosh, 11 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:49,080 Speaker 1: it's well, so many different ones. It's more of when 12 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:55,240 Speaker 1: I see their resistance, dissipate, demise, or I'm breaking through 13 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:59,440 Speaker 1: the resistance of an awareness that was stopping them from 14 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 1: getting where they are to where they want to be. 15 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:06,880 Speaker 1: That means that now it's green light for them to 16 00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:11,240 Speaker 1: run all the plays necessary to reach that goal, whatever 17 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:17,360 Speaker 1: that goal is. Because resistance is something that keeps it's 18 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:19,119 Speaker 1: the only thing that keeps us from where we want 19 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,640 Speaker 1: to be. When I say where we want to be, 20 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:26,040 Speaker 1: it's not always a physical transition of location. It could 21 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:28,800 Speaker 1: be emotional or it can be demising of disordered thinking, 22 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:31,639 Speaker 1: it can be just a peace of mind, right, whatever 23 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:35,600 Speaker 1: that looks like. It's the resistance that is allowing you 24 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,319 Speaker 1: to be in your own way. So when I see 25 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:40,080 Speaker 1: my clients get out of their own way and get 26 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:44,039 Speaker 1: past their own resistance, for me, I'm going, oh my god, 27 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:47,800 Speaker 1: because that's where the magic happens. Right, So, manifestation happens 28 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:51,120 Speaker 1: at the point of agreement, and you can't have agreement 29 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:54,960 Speaker 1: if you have resistance like that, So then you're not 30 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:59,320 Speaker 1: manifesting anything because you're not in agreement with yourself. There's resistance, 31 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:04,040 Speaker 1: and then you're always feeling this internal struggle. You're feeling 32 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:06,760 Speaker 1: in the gray and you feel stuck. And as we 33 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:10,960 Speaker 1: all know, there's no worse feeling than being stuck and 34 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:15,000 Speaker 1: seeking the answer. But they can't coosis, right, So stuck 35 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:18,320 Speaker 1: is the problem and the problem the answer cannot coexist. 36 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,520 Speaker 1: There are two different spaces and you have to choose 37 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:24,679 Speaker 1: which one you want to be in. Well, all of 38 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:28,400 Speaker 1: us are choosing answer, sure, but we're disconnected. If we're 39 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:34,040 Speaker 1: choosing and seeking answer and we're stuck in what problem? Mindset, problem, behavior, 40 00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:38,760 Speaker 1: problem thoughts? You can't get here from here? Do you 41 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:42,200 Speaker 1: also think too, there's a piece of acceptance like you 42 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:44,720 Speaker 1: have to have. Like for me, a lot of the 43 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:48,320 Speaker 1: struggles that I've gone through, it's when I accepted what 44 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:53,080 Speaker 1: happened or where I'm at, that's when I can have 45 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:56,680 Speaker 1: the action. I guess right, So acceptance, but before actions 46 00:02:56,680 --> 00:03:02,720 Speaker 1: you have to have acception, acceptance, accepting. So yeah, so 47 00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:08,120 Speaker 1: the the should I say, the process if we have 48 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:13,520 Speaker 1: to go into you know steps, it goes the awareness, right, Oh, 49 00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:17,880 Speaker 1: I have a problem, Sunday's not right right? Identifying that 50 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:23,679 Speaker 1: acceptance which is what you said, huge huge step into 51 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:28,680 Speaker 1: what the resolution acceptance, which is surrendering. I accept this 52 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:31,240 Speaker 1: is what it is. I surrender to it. Doesn't mean 53 00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:34,840 Speaker 1: I'm okay with staying here. What the reality is? You know, 54 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:38,920 Speaker 1: I'm I'm a thirty two year old woman divorced and 55 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 1: I don't want to start over. But that's any reality 56 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:46,360 Speaker 1: of it. I accept it, I surrender to it. And 57 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:50,040 Speaker 1: then once acceptance and surrendering takes place, guess what you 58 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:53,200 Speaker 1: have now got your power back? Yeah? I think that's 59 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,360 Speaker 1: a huge PC. You mentioned the divorce too, and we 60 00:03:55,440 --> 00:04:00,400 Speaker 1: talked about this on my Monday podcast, where when I divorce. 61 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:03,480 Speaker 1: There was so much anger, and it's almost like when 62 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:08,080 Speaker 1: I accepted the reality that I didn't want, then I 63 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:11,160 Speaker 1: was able that anger. Sure, I mean underneath it was 64 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:14,960 Speaker 1: all sadness, right, but I was able to have a 65 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:18,680 Speaker 1: new light and just go. I can't do anything about 66 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:20,960 Speaker 1: what happened, or how much I had to pay or 67 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:25,400 Speaker 1: whatever it was. I have to just now. It's I 68 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:26,720 Speaker 1: have to make a choice. I mean, they're going to 69 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:30,000 Speaker 1: just stay angry or Okay, this is what it is now, 70 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:34,680 Speaker 1: and let's try and find some light somewhere else. That's 71 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:39,400 Speaker 1: the power of acceptance. Yeah, I surrendering is exactly what 72 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:42,200 Speaker 1: you said. This is where I'm at. I have to 73 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:44,719 Speaker 1: visually see the optics of it. I can't have a 74 00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:50,640 Speaker 1: disconnect between perception and reality. However, accepting your reality is 75 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:53,160 Speaker 1: accepting what you see. I want people to be clear 76 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:57,640 Speaker 1: on this. It's accepting what you see. It's not accepting 77 00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:59,480 Speaker 1: what it is. I want to say it one more time. 78 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:03,719 Speaker 1: Acceptance and surrendering is accepting and surrendering to what you see, 79 00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:09,120 Speaker 1: not what it is. We are not here to be 80 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:12,599 Speaker 1: a victim to our reality. We are here to create 81 00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:19,400 Speaker 1: our reality. And you can't create your reality by allowing 82 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:24,280 Speaker 1: what you see to become what your reality is. It's 83 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:27,880 Speaker 1: just so hard though, and I remember it's it's it's 84 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:30,120 Speaker 1: a it's tricky because when I get DMS and people 85 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:32,520 Speaker 1: will say I just feel like I'm just still like 86 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:34,520 Speaker 1: it's I just it's so hard. And it's like that 87 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:41,440 Speaker 1: first year post divorce is the most sticky situation with 88 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:43,880 Speaker 1: all the feelings, and then you feel stuck and you 89 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:46,160 Speaker 1: feel sad and you feel angry, and it's like will 90 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,720 Speaker 1: I ever see the light again? Will I ever? Like? 91 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:51,920 Speaker 1: Will I ever accept this? And and I have such 92 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:54,800 Speaker 1: a hard time when people ask like how I got 93 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:57,960 Speaker 1: through it, It's like it's you just don't. I don't 94 00:05:57,960 --> 00:05:59,640 Speaker 1: even have the right answer, like you obviously will have 95 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:02,400 Speaker 1: the sir, but it's you know, there's things that I 96 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:05,480 Speaker 1: did to kind of get on the other side. But again, 97 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:07,400 Speaker 1: I think it all goes back to the acceptance. But 98 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:09,159 Speaker 1: some people are like, well, how do I accept it? 99 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:12,520 Speaker 1: Like how do I do that? Yeah? And I love 100 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:15,800 Speaker 1: that question because I always say, you know, and I 101 00:06:15,839 --> 00:06:18,839 Speaker 1: know all experts are giving their best and they have 102 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:22,000 Speaker 1: the best intent for the information they're putting out. But 103 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:26,159 Speaker 1: I get very frustrated. You know now that I'm an expert, 104 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,080 Speaker 1: and before I even when I wasn't. When I hear 105 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:30,280 Speaker 1: people tell me these tools and these tips of what 106 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:33,480 Speaker 1: to do, and I'm going, but how do I take 107 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,880 Speaker 1: the hammer? You're telling me to you to build a house? 108 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:38,359 Speaker 1: I don't know how to build a house, so you 109 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:40,640 Speaker 1: wouldn't you got a hammer? What do I do with 110 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:42,880 Speaker 1: this stuff? Right right? I'm here and just look at it. 111 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:44,440 Speaker 1: I don't know what to do, and so I love 112 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:47,160 Speaker 1: that question of how do you do it? It is 113 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:51,320 Speaker 1: exactly not just looking at the optics of your reality 114 00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:53,640 Speaker 1: and saying I accept it, but setting what's self and 115 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:57,200 Speaker 1: taking a how do I feel inventory and accepting how 116 00:06:57,320 --> 00:07:02,040 Speaker 1: you feel. I feel like a failure. Okay, okay, let 117 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:06,960 Speaker 1: me identify it. Okay, got it. I feel completely heartbroken. 118 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:11,920 Speaker 1: Identify with that. I feel lost. My whole world is shattered. 119 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:15,520 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, my heart is broken that too. And I 120 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:19,520 Speaker 1: don't feel like having to freaking start my whole world 121 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:23,000 Speaker 1: over again. That too. I have no interest in dating 122 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:27,240 Speaker 1: because I'm trying exhausted that too. So all of that 123 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:31,440 Speaker 1: stuff which is your stuff, the way that you start 124 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:34,800 Speaker 1: to dissipate it, the emotions you don't want to feel 125 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:38,000 Speaker 1: is not to suppress them, right, And it's not to 126 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:41,360 Speaker 1: resist them because as you know, what we resist persist. 127 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:44,640 Speaker 1: As we suppress, that thing fights to come up more. 128 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:48,960 Speaker 1: Not to bug you because it wants to externalize you 129 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:54,920 Speaker 1: from internalizing it, because suppression breeds depression, and internalizing does 130 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:57,160 Speaker 1: nothing but bubble up and you feel worse because it's 131 00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:59,440 Speaker 1: trying to come out. So he said, this is how 132 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:02,800 Speaker 1: I fail, and it's best to write down to how 133 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:06,840 Speaker 1: I feel inventory and then start to map out, Okay, well, 134 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:11,240 Speaker 1: how do I want to feel if I don't like 135 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:14,080 Speaker 1: the way I feel? And as you write down the 136 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:16,080 Speaker 1: other side of the paper, how I want to feel 137 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:18,760 Speaker 1: goes back to what I said, how I feel problem problem, 138 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:21,880 Speaker 1: problem I don't like. It doesn't serve me because I've 139 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:24,520 Speaker 1: called off a wedding and engagement. And I totally totally 140 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:28,200 Speaker 1: empathize with you on feeling just all these mixed emotions 141 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:32,600 Speaker 1: and some days you're good and some days you're absolutely spiraling. Okay, 142 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:34,720 Speaker 1: And then on the right side of the paper, we're 143 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:39,360 Speaker 1: going to write the solution narrative, right, and you can't 144 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:41,560 Speaker 1: be in both. So the days that you are in 145 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:44,120 Speaker 1: the problem narrative, which is how you feel that you 146 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:47,560 Speaker 1: don't want to feel. Go to your solution narrative and 147 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:51,600 Speaker 1: say what emotion? Can I generate? What emotion? Can I 148 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:53,880 Speaker 1: pull up right now? Can I read a book to 149 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:55,560 Speaker 1: get that emotion? Can I go for a walk? Can 150 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,480 Speaker 1: I read? Can I go have a glass of wine 151 00:08:57,480 --> 00:09:00,280 Speaker 1: with my girlfriend? Can I lay pull side? I don't 152 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:01,719 Speaker 1: know if I can. I sit for thirty minutes and 153 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:08,680 Speaker 1: meditate to get into the resolution, right space energy, and 154 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:10,640 Speaker 1: you start to swap out as you get into the 155 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:14,960 Speaker 1: the the solution narrative. Guess what happens. You naturally start 156 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:19,240 Speaker 1: to emotionally regulate which you don't want to feel, right, 157 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:25,640 Speaker 1: And that's the that's how you positively manipulate your emotions. Right. Yeah, 158 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:39,800 Speaker 1: I like that a lot. I feel like I'm hoping 159 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:42,000 Speaker 1: that this is well. I actually I don't want everyone 160 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,720 Speaker 1: feeling this either. But the start of a year for 161 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:48,280 Speaker 1: me is tough workwise, because I feel like I'm i'm 162 00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:50,080 Speaker 1: I feel like I'm on a bike and it's not 163 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:54,280 Speaker 1: going anywhere, Like literally, it's I'm on my stationary freebeat 164 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:58,520 Speaker 1: bike like it's I'm I am hustling so bad and 165 00:09:58,559 --> 00:10:02,200 Speaker 1: it's just staying put and because it's like I don't 166 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:03,560 Speaker 1: know when this is going to go or when that's 167 00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:06,760 Speaker 1: going to go. And then when stuff is stagnant and 168 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,720 Speaker 1: not progressing, I start to go, well, then what's my purpose? 169 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:12,080 Speaker 1: What am i? Am I really doing the right thing? 170 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:13,920 Speaker 1: And I don't know. I just like I don't know 171 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:15,960 Speaker 1: if that's something that happens just in the beginning of 172 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,920 Speaker 1: a year with work and you're questioning things, or if 173 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,480 Speaker 1: that's just maybe the season that I'm in. I feel 174 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:23,679 Speaker 1: like sometimes I do that, like every eight months, I 175 00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:25,280 Speaker 1: kind of question like, oh God, what am I doing? 176 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:27,560 Speaker 1: Or what's my purpose? Or is this all for something? 177 00:10:27,679 --> 00:10:31,240 Speaker 1: And and but right now it's like, you know, heading 178 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:35,440 Speaker 1: towards March, it's like trying to shift the energy to 179 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:38,400 Speaker 1: go just keep going when it's just like you're just 180 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:43,800 Speaker 1: tired from staying stuck in staying stationary. Yeah. I love 181 00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:47,240 Speaker 1: that too, because I always say a couple of things 182 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:50,240 Speaker 1: about that we have to learn our seasons. My season 183 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:54,000 Speaker 1: not your season, nor don't want it to be. This 184 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:57,080 Speaker 1: is why I don't like New Year's resolutions. I support them. 185 00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:58,720 Speaker 1: If I have any clients that want to do am 186 00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:00,560 Speaker 1: I support them. I'll draw it al for them and 187 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:03,800 Speaker 1: help them. I'm not a fan of it because January, 188 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:06,000 Speaker 1: if that's not my season, then I'm planning seeds and 189 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:10,040 Speaker 1: if they don't harvest, then I become doubtful and disempowered 190 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:14,120 Speaker 1: right and discourage. What have made June July is my season. 191 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:18,160 Speaker 1: That's when my harvest comes. And so I have to 192 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:21,480 Speaker 1: learn when is my season? One two, I have to 193 00:11:21,559 --> 00:11:27,240 Speaker 1: learn what do I plant? What seed do I plant? 194 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:30,200 Speaker 1: And in what soil do I plant it in? To 195 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:36,719 Speaker 1: maximize my harvest? What season am I planning it in 196 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:42,440 Speaker 1: to maximize my harvest? Am I planning it with to 197 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:46,360 Speaker 1: maximize my harvest? There's a lot of moving parts that 198 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:50,079 Speaker 1: take place for the sake of measuring when is your season? 199 00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:53,840 Speaker 1: How do you get the most maximum result of what 200 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:56,679 Speaker 1: season or what your harvest will look like? And then 201 00:11:56,679 --> 00:12:02,160 Speaker 1: the other thing is there are some seasons where stillness 202 00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:06,760 Speaker 1: is part of your planting and so on purpose in 203 00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:10,480 Speaker 1: stillness and so like, for you, if jan fab is 204 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:17,240 Speaker 1: this really still feeling of you described it as being stagnant, Well, 205 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:21,120 Speaker 1: what if January February isn't your action action action season? 206 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:23,880 Speaker 1: What if that's your meditative season? What if that is 207 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:27,240 Speaker 1: your stillness season. What if that is your recharge season? Right? 208 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:30,080 Speaker 1: What if that season is for you to figure out 209 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:33,680 Speaker 1: what has bloomed and what is harvest for you to celebrate, 210 00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:38,959 Speaker 1: to celebrate your hardest and they make march in April, 211 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:43,680 Speaker 1: get back to planting. Okay, that makes me feel better. 212 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:47,560 Speaker 1: Stillness a lot of purpose in stillness. And the reason 213 00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:52,640 Speaker 1: why a lot of people's manifestation moves so slow is 214 00:12:52,679 --> 00:12:56,480 Speaker 1: because when they are supposed to be being still for 215 00:12:56,559 --> 00:13:00,360 Speaker 1: the sake of retrieving what the next steps would be, 216 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:05,120 Speaker 1: our look like they're resisting the steelness to become more 217 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,800 Speaker 1: action based. When you have to. There's a there's a 218 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:11,240 Speaker 1: c planting season, and there's a harvest planting season. Now 219 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:13,800 Speaker 1: to go biblical, the Bible even talks about that, and 220 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:17,040 Speaker 1: we have to know when that is for us, because 221 00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:20,040 Speaker 1: I can't over at you and go harvest for her, 222 00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:23,480 Speaker 1: no harvest for me. I don't know when you planted 223 00:13:23,559 --> 00:13:26,200 Speaker 1: that anyways, I don't even know the magnitude of what 224 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:31,760 Speaker 1: you planted, right, Yeah, No, I love that's that makes 225 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:34,319 Speaker 1: me feel better. Yeah, I love. I love the seasons. 226 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:37,959 Speaker 1: And I've never been one on resolutions. I read a 227 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:40,200 Speaker 1: book a long time ago called The Happiness Project, where 228 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:42,199 Speaker 1: it was basically once a month to do something that's 229 00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:44,679 Speaker 1: you know, a goal for that month. And I've kind 230 00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:47,880 Speaker 1: of liked that, but I usually end up falling off 231 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:50,280 Speaker 1: of it, like like oh shoot, I forgot But I 232 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:52,960 Speaker 1: think it's just being mindful of Okay, yeah, the season, 233 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:56,320 Speaker 1: and I really love that at Can you tell us 234 00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:58,880 Speaker 1: a little about your book, Mental Detox. I'm just curious 235 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:01,040 Speaker 1: because it's I feel like we could all use a 236 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:04,160 Speaker 1: little mental because we do gut detoxes. So what's the 237 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:09,360 Speaker 1: what's the mental detox? Yeah? Mental Detox is um my 238 00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:11,760 Speaker 1: first book I wrote way back in twenty fourteen, and 239 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:15,320 Speaker 1: people seem to still love it and even love it 240 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:19,880 Speaker 1: more now. It's still selling like hotcakes, which is more impressive, 241 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,520 Speaker 1: not for the cells, but for the fact that that 242 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:25,880 Speaker 1: tells me the book is extremely impactful and it's changing lives. 243 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:30,160 Speaker 1: It consists of giving tips and tools and many examples 244 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:34,840 Speaker 1: of how you detox your entire life by using the 245 00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:39,120 Speaker 1: garden metaphor uh that as as your your your minding, 246 00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:42,200 Speaker 1: and your your mental is your garden, and your mind 247 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:46,160 Speaker 1: like a garden um. You know, if if it goes unattenant. 248 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:49,760 Speaker 1: You attract rods and weedings and so rodents and wheats, 249 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:53,320 Speaker 1: and so you can't not attend to it and think 250 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:56,840 Speaker 1: that it will just flourish on its own. It takes work, 251 00:14:57,440 --> 00:15:00,400 Speaker 1: and so it also explains what that work looks like, right, 252 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,240 Speaker 1: and it looks like your garden needs to take how 253 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:07,160 Speaker 1: but inventory right before there's seasons, there's an inventory season. 254 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:09,040 Speaker 1: Why we're talking about seasons where you take inventory of 255 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:11,760 Speaker 1: your garden, sure gardening, the people, the places of things, 256 00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:14,320 Speaker 1: a circumstances of thoughts, the action of the behaviors, all 257 00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:16,760 Speaker 1: the stuff that you are involved in, and look at 258 00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:18,360 Speaker 1: it and say, how is it serving me? If it's 259 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:21,680 Speaker 1: not serving, you plow out. Okay, if it's serving you 260 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:25,080 Speaker 1: leave in nurture. And the things you plow out rid 261 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:27,440 Speaker 1: of with no guilt because you're not doing it from 262 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:30,880 Speaker 1: a bad are a negative intentional space. You're doing it 263 00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:33,200 Speaker 1: from a place of it's serving you. And when things 264 00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:35,880 Speaker 1: serve you, guess what you can better serve other people? 265 00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:39,360 Speaker 1: And then you start to take inventory of, well, what 266 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,560 Speaker 1: harvests do I want in my garden? Right? What do 267 00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:43,800 Speaker 1: I want my gardener look like? And of course they're 268 00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:46,480 Speaker 1: not talking about vegetables and trees and fruits. We're talking 269 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:49,960 Speaker 1: about you know, the goals. These seeds are your goals. 270 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,280 Speaker 1: These seeds are how you want to show up in, 271 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:55,600 Speaker 1: how you show How would you be PLoud if you 272 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:57,200 Speaker 1: showed up in that in that type of person, that 273 00:15:57,280 --> 00:16:00,000 Speaker 1: type of character. So you're planning character seeds. You're planning, 274 00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:03,480 Speaker 1: you know, maybe for you it's dating seeds. Maybe for 275 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:06,440 Speaker 1: you it's healing myself seeds. What does that look like? 276 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:09,480 Speaker 1: What does my next marriage look like? When I get there? Hey, 277 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:11,920 Speaker 1: don't wait to want it, to plant it. Let's start 278 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:14,840 Speaker 1: planting those season now so that you won't have to 279 00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:18,480 Speaker 1: be in your be steel season hoping for an harvest 280 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:20,760 Speaker 1: because you plant it too late. And so mental detox 281 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,360 Speaker 1: is all about detox in your garden. I e. Your 282 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,400 Speaker 1: mind of all the stuff that does not serve you, 283 00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:28,320 Speaker 1: but take an inventory of what that is, and then 284 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:31,840 Speaker 1: planting all the stuff that does serve you, nurturing it, 285 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:35,320 Speaker 1: watering it, and being patient to understand that it will 286 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:38,600 Speaker 1: bloom in its season, not when you want it to, 287 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,760 Speaker 1: but in its season. So I tell everyone there you 288 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:45,520 Speaker 1: should be doing two things as a lifestyle, and it 289 00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:50,760 Speaker 1: will help you with being patient in the stealness seasons 290 00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:53,080 Speaker 1: or in the seasons when there isn't always a harvest. 291 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:56,680 Speaker 1: So you should be either planting or receiving a harvest. 292 00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:59,600 Speaker 1: Planting or receiving a harvest. How do you make sure 293 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:02,320 Speaker 1: you're a harvest every day? Well, for those who don't 294 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:04,919 Speaker 1: have harvesting now, because you haven't been planting anything, that's okay. 295 00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:09,600 Speaker 1: You start to plant seeds every day, all day, right, 296 00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:12,639 Speaker 1: and before you know it, when you wake up, you'll 297 00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:15,600 Speaker 1: be an autopilot. Up, I'm planting this today. But then 298 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:17,680 Speaker 1: when you shift to the right, you see a harvest 299 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:19,680 Speaker 1: of which you plant six months ago or a year ago. 300 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:22,359 Speaker 1: So your job is to do two things, plant and receive, 301 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:26,320 Speaker 1: plants and receive, and that ultimately results in your very 302 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:29,520 Speaker 1: one job, which is to be happy. Because when you're happy, 303 00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:32,960 Speaker 1: you're receiving. Vessels are wide open, sure, and so you 304 00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:35,360 Speaker 1: need things to be wide open for you to receive. 305 00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:37,879 Speaker 1: And so the idea is not to shut down because 306 00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:40,560 Speaker 1: of a divorce, because of a heartbreak, because of firing 307 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:41,879 Speaker 1: a way off of a job, or because of a 308 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:45,919 Speaker 1: bad decision. Because when you shut down your garden, nothing 309 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:51,919 Speaker 1: gets in, nothing gets out, including yourself an island. Yeah, 310 00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:54,960 Speaker 1: and nobody wants to be that now. No one honestly 311 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:58,600 Speaker 1: wants to visit that island as not that kind of 312 00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:02,320 Speaker 1: island when you're alone, you know what I mean? Mhm, 313 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:08,200 Speaker 1: A deserted island with with no lodging, no harvests, no food. 314 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:13,359 Speaker 1: Yeah nothing. No one pays for a flight to go 315 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:18,400 Speaker 1: visit that island unless you just need like one day 316 00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:22,360 Speaker 1: away from the kids in a quiet piecel. Besides that, 317 00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:24,760 Speaker 1: but you are the life coach on the Teen Mom 318 00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:28,920 Speaker 1: Family Reunion show, is it well? A has that been 319 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:33,000 Speaker 1: fulfilling in a way where you get to impact even 320 00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:35,359 Speaker 1: more people? Because obviously your work, just like when you 321 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:38,000 Speaker 1: come in podcasts like your your words spread to thousands 322 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:40,919 Speaker 1: and hundred, hundreds of thousands of people, And has that 323 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,640 Speaker 1: been rewarding for you to kind of see that impact 324 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:48,920 Speaker 1: that you make absolutely before doing the show, just being 325 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:52,879 Speaker 1: in like my doctorate program, Um, I remember like my 326 00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:55,359 Speaker 1: professor asking even my masks with program, hey who's going 327 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,360 Speaker 1: to get license? You know, raise your hand, everyone, raise 328 00:18:57,440 --> 00:19:00,240 Speaker 1: your hands, set me And professor said, well, why are 329 00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:02,239 Speaker 1: you going through twelve years of school and to not 330 00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:04,960 Speaker 1: get license? You just gonna hang this, you know, diploma 331 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,320 Speaker 1: on your wall. I said, well, yeah, I hang it 332 00:19:06,359 --> 00:19:08,280 Speaker 1: on my wall on my office and have office back 333 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:10,120 Speaker 1: then yet but I manifested it as you can see 334 00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:12,719 Speaker 1: behind me hanging on my wall in my office. However, 335 00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:16,000 Speaker 1: I also not only want to be in private practice, 336 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:17,960 Speaker 1: but I you know, I said, I said, I want 337 00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:20,120 Speaker 1: to have a platform. I don't know how God's gonna 338 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:23,760 Speaker 1: you know, how He's gonna construct it, but I'm have 339 00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:26,320 Speaker 1: a platform where I'm able to change lives. I'm able 340 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:30,520 Speaker 1: to heal people at a bigger capacity, by the by 341 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:34,000 Speaker 1: the millions, and it will be you know, global. Not 342 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,960 Speaker 1: for the sake of ego, but for the sake of 343 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:38,800 Speaker 1: I was a little girl and I had to figure 344 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:41,480 Speaker 1: out how to get through abandonment, how to get through adversity. 345 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:43,560 Speaker 1: And when I got to a place of taking my 346 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:47,520 Speaker 1: broken pieces of making peace from it, I thought, no, no, no, 347 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:49,760 Speaker 1: I'm not the only one that can do this. I'm 348 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:53,080 Speaker 1: not the only one who is allowed to do this. 349 00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:55,480 Speaker 1: And it's a human right that everyone has mental health 350 00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:58,520 Speaker 1: and a peace of mind. And give me the platform 351 00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:02,720 Speaker 1: and I will spread those I will give those tools, 352 00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:05,280 Speaker 1: and I will make sure that I'm giving everything that 353 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:08,359 Speaker 1: I use within myself and giving everything that I am 354 00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:11,560 Speaker 1: so that people can have that peace. And for me, 355 00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,399 Speaker 1: I call it God's peace, and everyone can call it 356 00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:17,119 Speaker 1: whatever they want pieces peace and it's just a space 357 00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:23,280 Speaker 1: that I've arrived to that it has no currency. It 358 00:20:23,359 --> 00:20:28,399 Speaker 1: is priceless, and it is everything that I've seen in 359 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,439 Speaker 1: my seventeen years of being in the mental health failed. 360 00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:35,960 Speaker 1: Everyone that I've run into, whether they're on the couch 361 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:39,040 Speaker 1: and session with me, are just having conversation, we all 362 00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:41,480 Speaker 1: have that one thing in common. I want to we 363 00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:43,440 Speaker 1: want to be at peace and we want to be happy, 364 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:46,240 Speaker 1: and it takes work. And so for me being on 365 00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:49,119 Speaker 1: the show, not just seeing the team moms and dads 366 00:20:49,119 --> 00:20:51,439 Speaker 1: have breakthroughs and use the tools that it be extremely 367 00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:55,000 Speaker 1: effective and then go through life's roller coasters, but learn 368 00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,879 Speaker 1: how to be more balanced and regulate themselves through the 369 00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,879 Speaker 1: roller coasters of what life is going to do to 370 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,879 Speaker 1: every body, and then learning how not to personalize it. 371 00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:07,000 Speaker 1: Also hearing folks around the world say I see myself 372 00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:09,760 Speaker 1: in this person. I seen myself in Jade. I seen 373 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:12,760 Speaker 1: myself and may say seen myself and kaya and the 374 00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:16,600 Speaker 1: tools you gave them I've used and It's changed my life. 375 00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:18,680 Speaker 1: My marriage is better, in my relationship with my son 376 00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:23,920 Speaker 1: or daughter has taken more of a positive momentum. Those 377 00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:27,159 Speaker 1: things for me are again they're cathartic, They're life changing, 378 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:30,760 Speaker 1: and they remind me every day of why I'm in 379 00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:36,520 Speaker 1: my purpose right and why what I do is my 380 00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:39,880 Speaker 1: real paycheck, it's my real currency, it's it's my real value. 381 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:44,120 Speaker 1: And so yeah, it is absolutely it's very rewarding to 382 00:21:44,359 --> 00:21:47,399 Speaker 1: be able to and I think the biggest thing we 383 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,760 Speaker 1: all can have, I think, and I believe what legacy 384 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:53,720 Speaker 1: is is the impact in lives that we change more 385 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:57,600 Speaker 1: than then that we make of ourselves. Yeah, that's that's 386 00:21:57,640 --> 00:22:14,120 Speaker 1: so true. I'm curious to like, with everything that you do, 387 00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:16,800 Speaker 1: all the people that you help, is there something where 388 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:21,520 Speaker 1: you just kind of beat your head and go, I 389 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:24,240 Speaker 1: just like, I wish that like the people could see this, 390 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:28,080 Speaker 1: or I think I wish like where it gets frustrating 391 00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:35,600 Speaker 1: for you. M not so much frustrating, but the more 392 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:37,600 Speaker 1: you know, the I wish they can get this and 393 00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:41,400 Speaker 1: see this it. You know, it happens often in session 394 00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:45,720 Speaker 1: when I'm seeing the bigness, I'm seeing the beauty, I'm 395 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:51,440 Speaker 1: seeing the awesomeness of you know, my client in session 396 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:54,840 Speaker 1: who is just not quite there yet. They just don't 397 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:58,439 Speaker 1: see the bigger picture. They don't see, you know, the 398 00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:02,080 Speaker 1: bigness of themselves, the big of their God, the bigness 399 00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:04,520 Speaker 1: of their source, the bigness of whatever they believe in. 400 00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:07,920 Speaker 1: That's when I'm And then when I see them right 401 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:10,879 Speaker 1: at edge of breakthrough, right at edge of that turning point, 402 00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:14,119 Speaker 1: it's like I become this mama bear that wants to 403 00:23:14,119 --> 00:23:16,440 Speaker 1: take it and turn it for him. And that's when 404 00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:21,719 Speaker 1: I'm more like, sit on your hands, breathe patience. You know, 405 00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:24,439 Speaker 1: it has to be a process, it has to be 406 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:28,120 Speaker 1: in a perfect timely matter. And that's why it takes 407 00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:31,159 Speaker 1: an expert to be able to do what I do, 408 00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:34,560 Speaker 1: when other coaches and therapists do, who really is seasoned 409 00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:37,160 Speaker 1: to where they don't cause more impairments by moving too 410 00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:40,119 Speaker 1: fast or probing too much, are poking in ways that 411 00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:44,359 Speaker 1: will cause impairment to know how to pace because you know, 412 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:47,720 Speaker 1: a seasoned or even a good beginner therapist or coach, 413 00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:51,320 Speaker 1: we see it before you see it, and that's why 414 00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:53,640 Speaker 1: we're able to guide you to where it is. Yeah, 415 00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:56,480 Speaker 1: that's the keyword right there, guy, because it's like, oh 416 00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:59,120 Speaker 1: my gosh, the amount of times my therapist was like, okay, 417 00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:01,880 Speaker 1: well if you know doing the cards, She's like, you're here, 418 00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:04,719 Speaker 1: so how do we get here? You know? And it's like, 419 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:06,720 Speaker 1: now looking at it, I'm like, oh my god. She 420 00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:09,560 Speaker 1: was trying to guide me, you know, just trying so hard. 421 00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:11,760 Speaker 1: But it's like, y'all could tell us whatever you want 422 00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:13,360 Speaker 1: to you're blue in the face. We have to get 423 00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:15,240 Speaker 1: to a place where we sit there and go I'm done, 424 00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:18,600 Speaker 1: and you've you've helped guide, but you didn't tell us 425 00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:20,399 Speaker 1: what to do, right, because everyone's always telling us what 426 00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:21,679 Speaker 1: to do and how to act and how to be. 427 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,280 Speaker 1: And it's like, you guys are just a safe place 428 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:28,399 Speaker 1: and truly a guide to lead us and lead us 429 00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:31,320 Speaker 1: and show us what's right and what you know, where 430 00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:33,800 Speaker 1: we should were, you know, what we should deserve and 431 00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:38,639 Speaker 1: what we do deserve. Ye. And because of what you said, 432 00:24:39,359 --> 00:24:42,600 Speaker 1: words don't teach experience does. So the reason why we 433 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,120 Speaker 1: got to not tell is because we can tell you 434 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:49,440 Speaker 1: all we want if you don't get the experience right, 435 00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:54,639 Speaker 1: because words don't teach, experience does, and so we have 436 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:57,639 Speaker 1: to create, you know, or at least I do. I 437 00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:02,560 Speaker 1: create an experience in the session um an emotional experience, 438 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:07,359 Speaker 1: a meditative experience, so that that person can feel I 439 00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:12,280 Speaker 1: experience the shift, the breakthrough and go, oh my god, 440 00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:15,600 Speaker 1: that's what it is. That's where it stems from. Oh 441 00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:18,320 Speaker 1: I got chills. Oh I just felt that that's the 442 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:21,680 Speaker 1: experience moment. That's the life changing moment right there, versus 443 00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:23,359 Speaker 1: it being a lectora. Well, this is how you do it. 444 00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:26,280 Speaker 1: And you take the hammer and you you bang on 445 00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:28,040 Speaker 1: the nails and you put one brick at a time, 446 00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:31,439 Speaker 1: and this is you laid the cement. You're learning something, 447 00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:34,320 Speaker 1: but you're not getting the experience, and experience teaches well, 448 00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:36,000 Speaker 1: and you might not be ready for it either, Like 449 00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:38,280 Speaker 1: there was you know, for however many years, I wasn't 450 00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:42,080 Speaker 1: ready to grab the hammer, grab the nail, grab the wood. 451 00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:45,639 Speaker 1: I just I just wasn't ready. And I think you 452 00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:47,280 Speaker 1: have to get to a place where you're also ready 453 00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:50,240 Speaker 1: to and you'll and you'll know. I think that's something 454 00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:51,919 Speaker 1: too where someone asked me like, well, how do you know, 455 00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:54,040 Speaker 1: I'm like, I promise you I asked the same thing 456 00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:56,679 Speaker 1: for seven years. You will know. There will be a 457 00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:59,479 Speaker 1: point when it's like no matter. You don't need your 458 00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:01,240 Speaker 1: friends to you what to do or your therapist what 459 00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:04,080 Speaker 1: to do. You will actually have the answer and know 460 00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:07,240 Speaker 1: what to do. And that moment is the most powerful 461 00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:08,800 Speaker 1: moment that you'll have. And now you just have to 462 00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:12,600 Speaker 1: be strong enough to listen to that and move yep 463 00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:17,159 Speaker 1: to that, keep listening to that, and the more you 464 00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:21,280 Speaker 1: listen to your inner self, it's like a muscle. Well, 465 00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:25,400 Speaker 1: I think it's so hard because you's so I've always 466 00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:27,879 Speaker 1: like I doubt that. I'm like, well, well maybe that's 467 00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:30,240 Speaker 1: just because I'm emotional, or I'm on my period, or 468 00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:33,000 Speaker 1: I don't know, like it's like you or this person 469 00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:34,919 Speaker 1: said this. But so it's like you you have so 470 00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:38,199 Speaker 1: many outside voices, and that's something that I've learned nearing 471 00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:42,040 Speaker 1: forty is like limiting the people that get to have 472 00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:45,639 Speaker 1: a say or get to come into my brain and 473 00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:48,639 Speaker 1: thoughts and or even want their opinion, because it's like, 474 00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:51,520 Speaker 1: it's my life. I get to make the shots. I 475 00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:53,080 Speaker 1: get to call the shots. Now I might ask. I 476 00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:56,159 Speaker 1: think it's important to have friends that you know share 477 00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,399 Speaker 1: their their thoughts, but also I think it can be 478 00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:01,120 Speaker 1: very harmful too to have too many opinions because then 479 00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:05,520 Speaker 1: you lose sight of what you feel one drowning out 480 00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:10,320 Speaker 1: the outside chatter is the number one, you know, thing 481 00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:15,480 Speaker 1: that strengthens your inside or inner voice, because the inner 482 00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:18,440 Speaker 1: voice is not a chatter, it's your guiding system. It's 483 00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:21,440 Speaker 1: your voice. And when you are having outside chatter, be 484 00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:24,359 Speaker 1: louder than your inner voice, or you're going to harken 485 00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:28,280 Speaker 1: to the voice that's louder. And so again, knowing how 486 00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:31,880 Speaker 1: much you're sharing, into who you're sharing it with, and 487 00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:36,080 Speaker 1: trusting what comes up in you as you you know, 488 00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:39,800 Speaker 1: dim or turn down the value of the other voices. 489 00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:43,400 Speaker 1: The value in you has always been turned up. You're 490 00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:46,720 Speaker 1: just now able to actually hear it because you're not 491 00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:51,320 Speaker 1: distracted by the things that don't know you. They don't 492 00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:53,479 Speaker 1: know you as well as your sense of self. When 493 00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:56,280 Speaker 1: your inner voice knows you, they never will. That's the 494 00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:58,360 Speaker 1: beauty of it because then we have our power. It's 495 00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:01,879 Speaker 1: in us, right m h. And we got where it's 496 00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:03,520 Speaker 1: happened to that and we might find it in different 497 00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:08,959 Speaker 1: seasons to circle that background. That's all you will find it. 498 00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,320 Speaker 1: Hum Doctor Brian, thank you so much for coming the show. 499 00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:15,919 Speaker 1: Watch new episodes of Teen Mom Family Reunion every Tuesday 500 00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:18,800 Speaker 1: at MTV at eight pm. We're also can our listeners 501 00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:23,200 Speaker 1: find you and and just follow along now totally at 502 00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:26,000 Speaker 1: doctor Brant dot co. And that's doctor Brant dot ceo 503 00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:29,760 Speaker 1: not dot com. And on the media, I am underscore 504 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:33,440 Speaker 1: doctor Bryant and you can google doctor Shy and Briant. 505 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:35,600 Speaker 1: I come up number one on Google with my book 506 00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:40,000 Speaker 1: Mental dtoms, Yeah, Coach b teen Mom, all those things 507 00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:42,040 Speaker 1: you can put on Google, and my website shows up 508 00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:45,480 Speaker 1: my contact informations there and you can contact me from 509 00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:47,640 Speaker 1: my website. You can book sessions on my website, and 510 00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:50,280 Speaker 1: you can obviously tune into teen Mom every two well 511 00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:55,200 Speaker 1: our season just ended, but every Tuesday next season if 512 00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:58,960 Speaker 1: we get a season three, which you know fingers crossed, yeah, 513 00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:03,560 Speaker 1: manopastest manifesting that and so yeah, but there's definitely way 514 00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:05,480 Speaker 1: to contact with me Doctor Brian dot co and Instagram 515 00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:09,400 Speaker 1: Underscore doctor Bryant. And one last thing, if there's something 516 00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:15,520 Speaker 1: that you could say to anyone that is just truly 517 00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:17,920 Speaker 1: stuck in this moment, what's one thing that can maybe 518 00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:22,360 Speaker 1: shed a little light. Meditate the go. Meditate every day 519 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:26,600 Speaker 1: ten minutes minimum and whatever comes up, trust it and 520 00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:30,880 Speaker 1: listen to it, trust yourself and trust the process. You 521 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:32,520 Speaker 1: already know where you want. You already know where you 522 00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:36,600 Speaker 1: want to go. As soon as you completely dissipate the 523 00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:40,040 Speaker 1: outside chatter, you'll be able to hear exactly what you want. 524 00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:44,600 Speaker 1: And You're happy is in you. And so as you 525 00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:47,400 Speaker 1: allow you to come up and you build a relationship 526 00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:52,240 Speaker 1: with yourself, then you will be in You're happy. And lastly, 527 00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:56,760 Speaker 1: we are so caught up in building relationships with other people, 528 00:29:56,760 --> 00:30:00,440 Speaker 1: and don't get me want wrong. Relationships are your your 529 00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:05,680 Speaker 1: vessel to business, your vessel to connection. However, the most 530 00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:09,520 Speaker 1: important relationship you will ever have is that relationship with yourself, 531 00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:15,200 Speaker 1: and you can't build it until you actually put in 532 00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:18,320 Speaker 1: the work and the investment and getting to know you, 533 00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:22,560 Speaker 1: listening to you, trusting you, and really believing in the 534 00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:25,840 Speaker 1: connection within yourself. And that's where you will build this 535 00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:30,800 Speaker 1: self nest that will demise the codependency of having to 536 00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:34,440 Speaker 1: always find someone else's nest to nest in. Yeah, and 537 00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:40,040 Speaker 1: it's a very powerful place when you nest in you, Yes, nesting. 538 00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:43,680 Speaker 1: I love that. Well, you're the best. Thanks for coming on. 539 00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:45,680 Speaker 1: Really appreciate us. A lot of people are going to 540 00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:48,200 Speaker 1: take a lot from this, so thank you. Thank you 541 00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:51,200 Speaker 1: for having me in great information, great questions, and thank 542 00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:54,280 Speaker 1: you for having a platform where people can actually tune 543 00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:58,000 Speaker 1: into get tools, get information, and get gems that will 544 00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:02,240 Speaker 1: hopefully change your life. Oh yeah, girl, appreciate you. Alright, 545 00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:03,320 Speaker 1: Bye honey, See yah