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Speaker 1: Take a deep breath in through your nose. Hold it.

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Speaker 2: Now, release slowly again, deep in, helle hold release, repeating

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Speaker 2: internally to yourself as you connect to my voice. I

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Speaker 2: am deeply, deeply well. I am deeply well. I am deeply.

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Speaker 1: Well. I'm Debbie Brown, and this is the Deeply Well Podcast.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Deeply Well, a soft place to land on

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Speaker 1: your journey, a place for the curious and creative who

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Speaker 1: are ready to expand in higher consciousness and self care.

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Speaker 1: I'm Debbie Brown. This is where we heal, this is

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Speaker 1: where we become. Today's guests need no introduction, Okay. I

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Speaker 1: am certain that most of you tuning in right now

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Speaker 1: are huge fans and have been of theirs for many years.

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Speaker 1: I have two incredible women on the show today, Erica

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Speaker 1: Dickerson and Jamila Mapp. They are the hosts of Good

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Speaker 1: Mom's Bad Choices podcasts, and their wildly successful weekly show

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Speaker 1: is ranked in the top one percent of podcast in

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Speaker 1: the world. As leading voices in personal development and modern motherhood,

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Speaker 1: they have used their platform to inspire more authenticity and

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Speaker 1: shatter archaic stereotypes around womanhood. Their advocates for doing whatever

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Speaker 1: the f you want for your highest good and normalizing

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Speaker 1: pleasure without shame. Through their friendship and their business, they

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Speaker 1: have cultivated a safe haven with resources for women and

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Speaker 1: moms alike to gather, learn and grow. Erica and Mila

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Speaker 1: have been featured in Rolling Stone, Essence, The Cut, Vogue,

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Speaker 1: The Today's Show, and are frequently booked for public speaking

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Speaker 1: engagements all around the US. Through their work and wellness,

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Speaker 1: they have inspired millions to continue to lead, and they

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Speaker 1: continue to lead retreats all around the world. Most recently,

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Speaker 1: this summer, they released their debut book, A Good Mom's

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Speaker 1: Guide to Making Bad Choices. The book challenges outdated notions

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Speaker 1: of what being a good mother truly means and inviting

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Speaker 1: moms of all kinds to embark on a healing journey

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Speaker 1: that unlearns old scripts about motherhood and shows that you

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Speaker 1: can be a little bad and still do some good.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to the show, my friend.

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Speaker 3: Hi. Oh wow, thank you? Yes, publish all the.

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Speaker 1: Hi don't I know.

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Speaker 3: I can't believe we wrote that. Wow.

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Speaker 1: How does that feel?

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Speaker 3: Insane?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, and thank you for my shout out of course.

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Speaker 4: I know that was so exciting in the book. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: I think it was. I still have I still can't

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Speaker 4: believe it. I still haven't read it. I'm going to

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Speaker 4: be honest, really I wrote it, but I read some

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Speaker 4: of it. I've listened to some of it, but I

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Speaker 4: think I'm still like processing it because it took it

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Speaker 4: took a long time for us to write, and I

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Speaker 4: think we both kind of are surprised at how challenging

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Speaker 4: it was, not just because really writing Yeah, people think, oh,

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Speaker 4: you're writing by your life, it's so easy, but it

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Speaker 4: was like very dreary.

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Speaker 1: Well that does sound so interesting because I think some

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Speaker 1: of what is so powerful about your magic on your

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Speaker 1: show and platform is how much you are willing to share.

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Speaker 1: You know, how many breakthroughs, how many of those aha moments,

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Speaker 1: like things that take people years to kind of get

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Speaker 1: to a point with themselves, they get to move through

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Speaker 1: and heal through faster because you're sharing your experiences. So

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Speaker 1: what was that like, like going from the way that

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Speaker 1: you share both of you to them kind of saying

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Speaker 1: how do I put that into book form?

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Speaker 4: I think it was like deciding what was actually important,

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Speaker 4: like what was actually going to help people? Because the

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Speaker 4: book is I guess it's it's it's partially prescriptive, meaning

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Speaker 4: like it's supposed to help and supposed to guide people,

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Speaker 4: and so you know, there were certain things where I

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Speaker 4: was like, at first I was writing it like my diary,

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Speaker 4: and I was like, I don't think they need to

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Speaker 4: know all of this, or maybe they already know this.

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Speaker 4: I think I've said this already, so like really trying

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Speaker 4: to hone in on like what was actually important and

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Speaker 4: going to be impactful, and also like what I needed

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Speaker 4: to release that I hadn't already. Yeah, because I think

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Speaker 4: that there was that too, Like things came up during

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Speaker 4: the writing process where I was like, oh, I'm not done.

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Speaker 3: With that yet.

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Speaker 4: I thought that I was done with that part, but

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Speaker 4: it's not done. So that was my experience. I don't

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Speaker 4: know about what about Unila.

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Speaker 3: I think it was.

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Speaker 5: I think it's one thing to discuss and talk and

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Speaker 5: like conversate about things and let things naturally come up.

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Speaker 5: But then a book seems very permanent. You know, it

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Speaker 5: has to be produced in a way that like it's

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Speaker 5: it's it flow, you know, repeating yourself, you sound smart.

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Speaker 5: I think that it was much more difficult than I

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Speaker 5: expected to relive certain parts, and I think I didn't realize,

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Speaker 5: like I think it was a really a highlight into

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Speaker 5: how much I was like, yeah, I'm over like sweeping

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Speaker 5: it under the carpet type like it's I've moved on,

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Speaker 5: and actually revisiting it and detail and having to like

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Speaker 5: re experiencing experience, re experiencing traumatic things that happened in

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Speaker 5: a way that I had to really deep dive, deep

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Speaker 5: dive into them so other people could understand. Was like, oh, wow,

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Speaker 5: I wasn't expecting this, and even to like even when

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Speaker 5: we wrote it to like maybe a year and a

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Speaker 5: half and then we recorded it, and that was that

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Speaker 5: was interesting, even more interesting because it obviously we wrote

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Speaker 5: the shit, but as we're recording it and we're reading

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Speaker 5: it it it even affected me differently. Then it like

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Speaker 5: made me cry in a way like I don't think

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Speaker 5: I was expecting. I'm like this, how the fuck am

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Speaker 5: I crying about my own shit that I went through.

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Speaker 5: So it's been it's an interesting like healing process. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: and then actually seeing it be released into the world

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Speaker 5: and know that people are there like reading your deepest

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Speaker 5: secrets is yeah.

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Speaker 1: I mean God and you, the two of you started

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Speaker 1: your podcast in twenty eighteen, and so that was really

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Speaker 1: I mean, we've slowly been kind of shifting these paradigms

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Speaker 1: around what it is to be a woman, what it

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Speaker 1: is to be not just a woman, but a multifaceted

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Speaker 1: woman that is worthy of pleasure, that is worthy of

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Speaker 1: being seen, being heard, being loved. You know, but this

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Speaker 1: is new territory, Like, make no mistake, this is new territory.

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Speaker 1: And I feel that both of you were really on

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Speaker 1: the pioneering frontier of being able to speak to the

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Speaker 1: complexities of that and the nuance of that in a

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Speaker 1: time that one that wasn't happening even in twenty eighteen,

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Speaker 1: and definitely wasn't happening with black women or any women

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Speaker 1: of color. Talk to me about what it kind of

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Speaker 1: took to even launch the show in your style, because

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Speaker 1: that kind of broke through the door I think for

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Speaker 1: a lot of people to share in new ways.

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Speaker 3: I think it is why are you laughing already?

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Speaker 1: What is this?

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Speaker 4: Because it wasn't that profound, Like it really wasn't, like

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Speaker 4: I mean, yes, but like you know, we started our

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Speaker 4: show because we were sad. We're like a little sad.

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Speaker 4: We were excited about our friendship and it really there

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Speaker 4: was no plan. There was no like we're going to

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Speaker 4: change the world or there was no like, you know,

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Speaker 4: I don't even people ask us all the time. I

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Speaker 4: don't know why we started the show. It was just

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Speaker 4: like I found a podcast. I started listening murder mystery podcasts.

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Speaker 4: I didn't at one point I started searching like single

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Speaker 4: motherhood podcasts because I had suddenly become a single mom,

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Speaker 4: very unexpectedly, and I was like, well, I'm already here

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Speaker 4: listening they what else do they have here? And there

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Speaker 4: was nothing. And I had met Jamila and you know,

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Speaker 4: if you read our book, you'll find you'll hear about

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Speaker 4: our conception story, which is very funny and interesting but

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Speaker 4: and sexy. But yeah, I just was like, hey, girl,

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Speaker 4: like I want to like start a podcast, and really

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Speaker 4: I just wanted to hang out with her. I really

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Speaker 4: just wanted to sit down and talk to her. And

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Speaker 4: she was like, yeah, sure, like a radio show. I

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Speaker 4: was like yeah, And so we just like had a

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Speaker 4: photo shoot because that's what bitches do, and pressed record

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Speaker 4: and said okay, let's just talk and then we it

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Speaker 4: was a practice I was supposed to be a practice episode,

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Speaker 4: and then we were just like okay, well we don't

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Speaker 4: want to do that again. Let's just release it and

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Speaker 4: it was kind of like it was very divine because

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Speaker 4: obviously we became single around the same time. Our daughters

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Speaker 4: are at the same age, we're both black moms, we

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Speaker 4: both grew up in the same area, although we never

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Speaker 4: knew each other, which is also very strange that it

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Speaker 4: was like God knew we needed to meet each other

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Speaker 4: at this exact moment. We released our episode like in March,

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Speaker 4: the week of International Woman's Month or something like. It

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Speaker 4: was all kind of just lined up, and then we

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Speaker 4: just didn't think anyone was listening. So we just said everything,

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Speaker 4: you know, and we didn't hold back. And then one day,

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Speaker 4: I think three months in, we checked the numbers and

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Speaker 4: we're like, oh, like, do.

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Speaker 1: You know ten thousand people.

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Speaker 4: I was like, oh, I thought our friends were just listening.

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Speaker 4: And then slowly, like people started reaching out, like Hey,

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Speaker 4: I live in Arkansas and I smoke weed and I'm

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Speaker 4: a mom and I've been hiding in my closet. I'm

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Speaker 4: so happy that like, yeah you do too, Or hey,

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Speaker 4: I'm dating and I just broke up with my husband

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Speaker 4: and I feel really ashamed that I'm having so much fun,

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Speaker 4: or I don't even know where to start, and so

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Speaker 4: I think it really, you know, it started off as

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Speaker 4: just this thing that I wanted to do with this

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Speaker 4: new friend of mine that I had met. And I

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Speaker 4: think that's why our audience has such a deep attachment

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Speaker 4: to us, because they've watched our friendship grow. Like I

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Speaker 4: did not know Jamila really are. We got to know

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Speaker 4: each other on the podcast. So if you start from

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Speaker 4: the very beginning that first episode until now, you can

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Speaker 4: see the evolution of our friendship. And there has been

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Speaker 4: ups and downs in our friendship, in our relationship, in

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Speaker 4: our motherhood, and I think that I think that's really

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Speaker 4: been the magic and the call to the women, like

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Speaker 4: oh hell, I.

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Speaker 5: Think we were like in a really we're both in

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Speaker 5: a really specific time in our lives. That we met

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Speaker 5: during a time where we had just had babies, and

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Speaker 5: for you know, we know what the fuck we were doing,

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Speaker 5: and that if you've had a baby and you know,

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Speaker 5: that's a very like delicate time of transition. But mostly

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Speaker 5: I think also when we started the podcast, we had

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Speaker 5: just broken up from our baby daddy's who we intended

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Speaker 5: to be in relationship with forever. So I think, you know,

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Speaker 5: I think a lot of it had to do with

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Speaker 5: we were in relationships that we thought we were going

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Speaker 5: to be in forever. That kind of shifted who we were,

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Speaker 5: and we were in those relationships for a really long time.

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Speaker 5: And so after coming out of that and then after

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Speaker 5: having kids, there was like we both had this this

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Speaker 5: high level of zero fucks to give, you know, it

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Speaker 5: was a very high level of like, you know what,

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Speaker 5: I just did all this, I just did this time

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Speaker 5: in this relationship, and I lost myself. I've lost myself

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Speaker 5: and now I'm here trying to figure it the fuck out,

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Speaker 5: and I don't care what I have to do to

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Speaker 5: do that.

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Speaker 3: I'm going to do it. And I think there was

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Speaker 3: like this level of.

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Speaker 5: Like like just coming up, emerging back into our authentic

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Speaker 5: selves that kind of gave us permission to say whatever

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Speaker 5: the fuck we wanted. And a yes, we didn't think

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Speaker 5: anybody was listening, but also we were just like, I'm

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Speaker 5: going to do whatever I want because I'm single and

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Speaker 5: shit didn't work out the way I thought. None of

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Speaker 5: this shit isn't like I thought it was going to be,

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Speaker 5: and so fuck it, let's just see what happens type shit.

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Speaker 3: You know, Like it wasn't very well thought out, but

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Speaker 3: I think we just were both like what do we

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Speaker 3: have to lose?

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Speaker 1: Can I just say, it's interesting that I framed it

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Speaker 1: the way that I framed and then both of you

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Speaker 1: instantly went, it wasn't really that profound, no, I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we didn't even think it out. We didn't even think

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Speaker 1: about it, Like all right, y'all. I'm not saying that

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Speaker 1: you had, you know, the download from God of like

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Speaker 1: what everything was gonna become, but like, you know, let

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Speaker 1: that in, like take that in, because I don't think

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Speaker 1: anybody who pioneers a space or builds something that hasn't

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Speaker 1: existed before thinks about it with that intent. Like that's

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Speaker 1: kind of the natural energy that comes in with that

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Speaker 1: willingness to fully be oneself, you know. So it's like,

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Speaker 1: I'm not trying to flatter you. I'm just trying to

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Speaker 1: be honest and say and really frame it as it

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Speaker 1: takes guts to talk about yourself. It takes guts to

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Speaker 1: reveal your pain to people. And it's I consider that

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Speaker 1: when people do things like that, it's an act of

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Speaker 1: high service, you know, because everyone can take the other out.

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Speaker 1: Everyone can say I'm gonna reveal a little or not

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Speaker 1: enough or nothing, you know, but it's like you have

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Speaker 1: helped so many women feel seen, feel heard, give new permissions,

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Speaker 1: and also connect to you know, your show really exists

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Speaker 1: at the intersection of motherhood, holistic practice, pleasure. You know,

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Speaker 1: it's it's a permission giver.

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Speaker 3: And so my god, well, thank you, thank you. I

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Speaker 3: received that. I think I think that me and Mila.

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Speaker 4: You know, in this time of podcasting, there seems there's

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Speaker 4: there's a lot of podcasts that seem like they're they're

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Speaker 4: trying to do a certain thing. And I always which

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Speaker 4: I love, because I love I want people to move

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Speaker 4: with intention, right, and I think we do. I think

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Speaker 4: we were moving with like unintentional intention. But I always

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Speaker 4: think it's funny because a lot of people do assume

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Speaker 4: like that we were friends before or that like we

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Speaker 4: had this like big like idea around what we were doing.

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Speaker 4: And obviously things have change now. I mean, we are

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Speaker 4: fully invested in what we do and really intentional the

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Speaker 4: spaces that work we curate. But early on it was

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Speaker 4: like I think about back on that time and it

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Speaker 4: was kind of just like the wild World West in

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Speaker 4: our lives, and I'm so grateful that it was because

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Speaker 4: we really did have a I mean, we do have

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Speaker 4: a lot of guys, but we had a lot of

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Speaker 4: we we both met each other at that time, and

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Speaker 4: we were just really, like she said in this like

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Speaker 4: I don't give a fuck era of our lives.

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Speaker 5: And when I look at it in hindsight, I really

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Speaker 5: feel like, you know, in that moment, we didn't really

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Speaker 5: realize the decision we had made. But I do think

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Speaker 5: that it's a beautiful like it's a beautiful document of

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Speaker 5: the first step of choosing yourself and then seeing how

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Speaker 5: it develops. And so I think you really get to

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Speaker 5: you really get to watch our power come us hone

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Speaker 5: in on our power, because I really do feel like

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Speaker 5: when we met and we decided to do this, like

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Speaker 5: we created an entity and like it's it's kind of

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Speaker 5: taken on a like a power of its own, and

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Speaker 5: because of that, it's kind of reinforced our own personal powers.

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Speaker 5: So it's been a practice of going with your intuition

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Speaker 5: without overthinking it, because we did not overthink.

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Speaker 3: It, were like okay you to be a friend, fuck it.

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Speaker 5: But I think because we allowed that to lead us

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Speaker 5: that like that divine like why not, like why would

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Speaker 5: I say this shit on Mike? I don't know, but

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Speaker 5: like there was something about choosing ourselves, choosing our truth

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Speaker 5: that created a It created a.

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Speaker 3: Like a training for us.

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Speaker 5: It's been a like a fine tuning of our skill

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Speaker 5: of choosing ourselves and being and understanding our intuition. Because

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Speaker 5: I think, honestly, I knew, I've always known I was

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Speaker 5: a witch, but like this has made me realize, oh,

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Speaker 5: I'm a witch and I'm a stronger witch when I

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Speaker 5: have my witch friend with me, and like when I

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Speaker 5: say which, I'm just like not like pointy nose and

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Speaker 5: pointy hat. But like we have really cultivated this divine

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Speaker 5: understanding that our words are powerful and that, you know,

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Speaker 5: it's really sharpened this tool of being able to release

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Speaker 5: and accept ourselves where we're at in that moment. In

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Speaker 5: the last fucking five years, we haven't said anything perfect,

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Speaker 5: you know, and there's things from last year I probably

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Speaker 5: totally disagree with and five years ago, like who the

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Speaker 5: fuck was that person? Why would I say that? But

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Speaker 5: it's the the practicing of sharpening the tool of saying

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Speaker 5: it in that moment, releasing it and standing in it

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Speaker 5: and being okay with that, you know. So I think

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Speaker 5: it's been like a real, a real like cultivation of

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Speaker 5: our power just by saying yes and then continuing even

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Speaker 5: against the odds or even against the fact that it's

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Speaker 5: scary or we could be wrong, or people could be

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Speaker 5: like that's crazy in just being like fucking you know,

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Speaker 5: and just releasing it and releasing it every week, releasing

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Speaker 5: it and letting it go and not holding on to

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Speaker 5: the fear of someone judging or making assumptions about us.

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Speaker 5: And I think I'm really grateful for my friend because

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Speaker 5: I think our friendship kind.

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Speaker 3: Of allowed us to be like, you want to do it? Okay,

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Speaker 3: me too.

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Speaker 5: Fuck everybody else, you know, like everyone is like literally

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Speaker 5: everyone's like that's a terrible idea.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, no, I think it's good.

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Speaker 5: That's been like a confidence builder and so it's made

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Speaker 5: it easier.

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Speaker 1: Deeply, Wow, I think the piece that you speak to

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Speaker 1: right now, it's so important because that is that's like

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Speaker 1: the divine flow of creativity that we have gotten so

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Speaker 1: separated from, especially as women, you know, Like this is

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Speaker 1: my belief, like this is really the first time in

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Speaker 1: recent human history that we have been able to like

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Speaker 1: live as a multitude, like be multiple versions of ourselves

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Speaker 1: at once, like have this dimension to our experience. And

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Speaker 1: it's when we have been stuck in this kind of

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Speaker 1: system of perfectionism or having to have it perfect and

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Speaker 1: right the first time, or having to just kind of

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Speaker 1: stay one version of you. We've just been so suppressed,

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Speaker 1: you know. So it's like the power to just say like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I can change my mind. I can change my thought

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Speaker 1: like things can be evolutionary. I can feel that way

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Speaker 1: right now and really relate to it, and then it

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Speaker 1: can be different. You know. It's just it's powerful, it's beautiful.

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Speaker 4: It is it is, and I mean, I'm grateful that

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Speaker 4: I'm We've led with the fact that we are not perfect.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 4: You know, there's I think that even as women like

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Speaker 4: like you said, like there's been this picture painted that

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Speaker 4: things have to be perfectly tied up. Yeah, And I

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Speaker 4: think that that is the beauty in it is that

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Speaker 4: I've said things, I've done things that you know, we're

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Speaker 4: not perfect. They were some of them were mistakes, some

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Speaker 4: of them were bad choices. And that is the play

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Speaker 4: on our on the name of our podcast anyway, is like,

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Speaker 4: you know, even when we wanted to name our show

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Speaker 4: good Mom's Bad Choices, a lot of people are like, oh,

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Speaker 4: you don't want to do that like, that's moms and bad,

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Speaker 4: that's not a good choice. But the point is is

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Speaker 4: that not all the bad choices are bad.

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Speaker 1: And some of them are bad. I've made some bad

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Speaker 1: choices one hundred percent, you know.

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Speaker 4: But the hope is that those bad choices lead us

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Speaker 4: to the better choices and make us better people. And

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Speaker 4: I think once women, we stop kind of judging each other,

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Speaker 4: because I think there is a huge judgment not just

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Speaker 4: from the male gaze and patriarchy and all that, there's

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Speaker 4: a lot of judgment within our own, you know, community

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Speaker 4: of women. And I think it's you know, even I

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Speaker 4: talk about this in the book with Jamila as like

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Speaker 4: the mirror that we hold to each other. And a

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Speaker 4: lot of times, you know, when you see a woman

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Speaker 4: living in her her purpose, or in her freedom, or

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Speaker 4: in her sexuality, her sensuality, and that makes you really uncomfortable.

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Speaker 4: A lot of that is because you haven't given yourself

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Speaker 4: permission to tap into that. And I know that deeply personally,

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Speaker 4: because I have been that woman, the one that's judging

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Speaker 4: the other woman aka Jamila. When I first saw her

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Speaker 4: on Instagram, before I ever met her, she was with

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Speaker 4: her daughter in a string bikini, holding a glass of

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Speaker 4: champagne at on the side of the pool, and her

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Speaker 4: daughter might have been only like a month old, and

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Speaker 4: I was like, what in.

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Speaker 1: The hell is this? How could she do this?

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Speaker 4: Meanwhile, I was like twenty thousand months pregnant at home,

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Speaker 4: like you know, succumbing to like all these different ideas

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Speaker 4: of what I thought I was supposed to do now

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Speaker 4: as a mother, judging myself, judging her because I really

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Speaker 4: wanted that.

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Speaker 3: I wanted to be by the pool with a glass.

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Speaker 4: Of champagne, you know, but I felt like as a mother,

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Speaker 4: I could no longer do that. As a mother, I

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Speaker 4: had to be more conservative in some way, And I

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Speaker 4: don't even know where that came from, because I'm not

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Speaker 4: a conservative person.

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Speaker 3: I've never been.

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Speaker 4: But something happened, like literally, something happened when I got

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Speaker 4: pregnant where I started to adopt all these things. Because

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Speaker 4: when as you know, if you're listening right now and

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Speaker 4: you're a mom, you know, everyone has an opinion about

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Speaker 4: what you should do, what you should eat, how you

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Speaker 4: should live, how you should take care of yourself, how

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Speaker 4: you prepare properly, how you birth, what's the right way

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Speaker 4: to birth, where you should birth. You know, and if

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Speaker 4: you're not really secure and who you were are, and

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Speaker 4: I wasn't at that time, you will be confused as hell.

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Speaker 4: And I was deeply confused and deeply insecure. And so

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Speaker 4: as women, there's a lot of us are deeply wounded.

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Speaker 4: And so when we see other women living in there

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Speaker 4: whatever that is, and then we judge them, a lot

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Speaker 4: of it is because we haven't given ourself permission to

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Speaker 4: even explore those parts of ourselves.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, absolutely, you know. Launching the show in twenty

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Speaker 1: eighteen and you, you two have created hundreds of episodes

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Speaker 1: with some experts in every kind of field. E and you.

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Speaker 4: I love that feeling you're healing your inner child featuring

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Speaker 4: Dewy Brown. I love that episode.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, oh lord child, that little baby girl inside. But you,

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Speaker 1: you know, the two of you have had just such

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Speaker 1: a range of guests from so many different walks of life,

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Speaker 1: with so many different perspectives speaking to all the things

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Speaker 1: that really affect womanhood, especially around pleasure, especially around sex, spirituality.

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Speaker 1: When you think about the two of you from twenty

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Speaker 1: eighteen to now we're in twenty twenty three at time

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Speaker 1: of this recording, what were some of the biggest lessons

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Speaker 1: you learned from guests that you applied to your life,

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Speaker 1: or were there any shifts made because a certain guest

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Speaker 1: came on the show and it was like, Okay.

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Speaker 5: I mean you said some shit that stuck with me.

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Speaker 5: You definitely said some shit that stuck with me. That

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Speaker 5: was like, now that like when things come up for me,

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Speaker 5: I kind of get excited to kind of like dig

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Speaker 5: deeper into them. You're like, when things come up for me,

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Speaker 5: now I'm instead of like avoiding it or being a

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Speaker 5: fear of it because we're on this We've chosen to

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00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:57,720
Speaker 5: be on this journey of evolution and like the best

436
00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:01,959
Speaker 5: version of ourselves and healing and peeling off layers and like,

437
00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:04,359
Speaker 5: you know, like leaving things behind. You're like, now when

438
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:07,560
Speaker 5: things come up or I'm bothered by something, I'm more like, huh,

439
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:09,359
Speaker 5: I thought I was through this, and like you you

440
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:13,080
Speaker 5: approach it in a curious manner, and I was like, huh.

441
00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:17,120
Speaker 5: You know, because I can be an anxious bitch. I'm cancer,

442
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:19,840
Speaker 5: I'm sensitive as fuck, and sometimes I think, as I've

443
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:22,680
Speaker 5: gotten older, like the sensitivity is so intense that I'm

444
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:25,200
Speaker 5: just like, oh oh God.

445
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,199
Speaker 3: Like what's that you know? Avoid avoid?

446
00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:30,119
Speaker 5: So when you said that, I was like, you know what,

447
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:33,440
Speaker 5: I've really realized. It's just like perception. How the energy

448
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:35,640
Speaker 5: you approach something with is like how it will stick around.

449
00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:38,159
Speaker 5: It's like laundry. I'm like, God, a fucking laundry. But

450
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:42,240
Speaker 5: I'm like, you know what, laundry I got cool? You know,

451
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:44,840
Speaker 5: like I have some you know, I can have clean clothes.

452
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:48,320
Speaker 5: It's just like the energy around approaching the thing. And

453
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,520
Speaker 5: so when you said that, I was like, because things

454
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:52,600
Speaker 5: will come up inevitably, and it may be the same things,

455
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:54,800
Speaker 5: and it may you and as much as you evolved

456
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:56,880
Speaker 5: and you think you're past some shit or you you

457
00:24:56,960 --> 00:25:01,240
Speaker 5: are smarter, or you're healed from some shit, actually, as healers,

458
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:04,920
Speaker 5: there will always be lessons. There will always be you know, uh,

459
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:06,879
Speaker 5: you know, times where you need to level up and

460
00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:08,639
Speaker 5: you'll see yourself as a different like in front of

461
00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:10,560
Speaker 5: different people, and there'll be a different version of yourself

462
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:13,199
Speaker 5: that brings up different things. And so like keeping this

463
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:17,320
Speaker 5: open mind, yeah, because you could be totally great and

464
00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:19,240
Speaker 5: then fucking Joe Schmo come up and you'd be like

465
00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:19,959
Speaker 5: what the fuck is this?

466
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:24,119
Speaker 3: You know, or like ooh, relative or all the our.

467
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:26,000
Speaker 5: Things can come up and that you did not expect

468
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,679
Speaker 5: and you thought that and you're prepared for And the

469
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:31,040
Speaker 5: thing is, we are prepared for them, right And it's

470
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:35,199
Speaker 5: like the more we change our like our perspective is like,

471
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:37,600
Speaker 5: not only am I prepared for it, but I'm prepared

472
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:40,120
Speaker 5: for this right now, and I need this lesson right now,

473
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:41,680
Speaker 5: and so let me go onto it in a way

474
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:45,640
Speaker 5: that I'm like intrigued and excited to work through it

475
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:50,120
Speaker 5: versus avoiding it, because that is what fuckes up.

476
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:52,679
Speaker 1: You would just blessed me.

477
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:55,920
Speaker 3: Then that was your words, girl, that was just telling

478
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:56,560
Speaker 3: what you told me.

479
00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:59,320
Speaker 1: Thank you, but thank you for saying that. And also

480
00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:03,840
Speaker 1: it's like, God, that's the piece that I, as a woman,

481
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,879
Speaker 1: feel so excited about because I mean, I hit I

482
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:09,280
Speaker 1: had a dark night of the soul this past weekend, okay,

483
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:12,159
Speaker 1: like you know where it was like I was investigating something.

484
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:14,400
Speaker 1: I was like, well, I thought I did this two

485
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:17,720
Speaker 1: years ago. God dang it, you know, but it's like,

486
00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:20,440
Speaker 1: all right, so let's go deeper. And yeah, I believe

487
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:24,040
Speaker 1: in running into the dark. If there's darkness, come in,

488
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:29,480
Speaker 1: run straight to it so you can run straight through it. Yeah,

489
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:31,000
Speaker 1: what about you?

490
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:35,280
Speaker 4: Oh God, there's so many, so many things that have

491
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:38,520
Speaker 4: like I that I've shifted to like things. I said, yeah,

492
00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:40,880
Speaker 4: that sounds good and then been like now I'm here

493
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:42,840
Speaker 4: and I'm like, yeah, I don't think that sounds good

494
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:43,240
Speaker 4: for you.

495
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:47,520
Speaker 1: We had a woman on.

496
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:49,800
Speaker 4: Her name is Beileche and she and her husband are

497
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,119
Speaker 4: in an open marriage, and so this was something that

498
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:54,040
Speaker 4: me and Miila talked a lot about early on in

499
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:55,400
Speaker 4: our podcast.

500
00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:57,760
Speaker 5: We were like dedicated to being an open relationship. We

501
00:26:57,760 --> 00:26:59,239
Speaker 5: were like, really, we're gonna do that. We've never done

502
00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:00,240
Speaker 5: it before, but that's.

503
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:01,320
Speaker 3: Like so yeah.

504
00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:04,000
Speaker 4: Early on when we started podcasting, obviously we were single,

505
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:08,120
Speaker 4: and we were like, we want open relationship. That seems

506
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:11,200
Speaker 4: like the fool proof, like you know, set up where

507
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:12,000
Speaker 4: no one gets hurt.

508
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:14,080
Speaker 1: I get to do my thing, you get to do

509
00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:16,000
Speaker 1: your thing. I can do that, no problem.

510
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:18,560
Speaker 4: And then we had Beayon and she she affirmed me

511
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:20,040
Speaker 4: in that and I was like yeah, and she was

512
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:22,280
Speaker 4: you know, she talked about her experience, her experiences with

513
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:24,480
Speaker 4: her husband and they are, you know, this is their lifestyle,

514
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:26,679
Speaker 4: very committed to it, and she talks about it so

515
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:29,200
Speaker 4: beautifully and eloquently and how it's you know, been challenging

516
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:31,760
Speaker 4: but it's worked for her, And I was like, you

517
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:35,320
Speaker 4: know what, Yeah, if I get married, that's what I want. No,

518
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:39,359
Speaker 4: it's not anymore, not now, no, no, Yeah, things have changed.

519
00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:45,359
Speaker 4: And I because I realized that my my attachment to

520
00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:48,800
Speaker 4: this idea of an open relationship was really based in

521
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:51,000
Speaker 4: the fact that I didn't think that I could get

522
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:53,000
Speaker 4: a person that would be monogamous to me.

523
00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:55,440
Speaker 1: It was based and hurt. It wasn't based in actually

524
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:56,040
Speaker 1: what I wanted.

525
00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:58,679
Speaker 4: It was based in that I felt like this was

526
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:01,560
Speaker 4: all I could get, and so I might as well

527
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:03,680
Speaker 4: participate because you.

528
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:05,280
Speaker 3: Know, I acting yourself, protect myself.

529
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:07,439
Speaker 4: But I'm also gonna have fun too, So it's fine,

530
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:09,879
Speaker 4: like I get I get served, you get served.

531
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:12,439
Speaker 3: We're all happy. No one's lying.

532
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:17,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, And so after like, it took me a few

533
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:19,600
Speaker 4: years to get to that realization because we've had her

534
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:22,080
Speaker 4: on twice. So the first time, like I was dead

535
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:23,639
Speaker 4: set on it. By the time her husband came on,

536
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:26,360
Speaker 4: I was like on the fence about it. At that point,

537
00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 4: I was like, I don't know. And yeah, So that's

538
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:34,639
Speaker 4: definitely one thing for sure that has changed in my perspective,

539
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:38,479
Speaker 4: in my in my journey and podcasting. But there's been

540
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:40,920
Speaker 4: so many moments. I think about our episode two with Krin, Well,

541
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:43,600
Speaker 4: her name is Elizabeth Ovison, but her pen name is

542
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:47,160
Speaker 4: Karin Stephans. People know hers Krin Stephen's, and you know,

543
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:52,440
Speaker 4: she's underwent a lot of you know, backlash, and she's

544
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 4: kind of been in some ways a pioneer, especially in

545
00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:57,960
Speaker 4: the space of writing books about her personal journey and

546
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:05,440
Speaker 4: her her I guess uh, sexual liberation, sexual aberration, and

547
00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:08,400
Speaker 4: she talked a lot about the messes in the message

548
00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:15,800
Speaker 4: and allowing yourself to be messy, and for me, that

549
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:19,360
Speaker 4: has been a journey that I've been on recently because

550
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:22,719
Speaker 4: I think I grew up in a household where, like

551
00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:26,280
Speaker 4: I don't want to say perfection, it needed to be perfect,

552
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:28,720
Speaker 4: but there was an element of like expectation of what

553
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:31,080
Speaker 4: things needed to look like, how I needed to act,

554
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:33,960
Speaker 4: and I always kind of rebelled against it anyway, but

555
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:37,160
Speaker 4: it was still ingrained in me. And so over the

556
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:40,360
Speaker 4: last year and a half, I've really allowed myself to

557
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:45,760
Speaker 4: be quite messy and undo certain things and maybe even

558
00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:48,959
Speaker 4: go fall backwards a little bit in the process of

559
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:52,240
Speaker 4: my healing. But I kind of needed to do that

560
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:56,400
Speaker 4: in order to arrive to where I'm at now and

561
00:29:56,840 --> 00:29:59,720
Speaker 4: kind of investigate parts of myself that I thought I

562
00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:02,400
Speaker 4: had the dealt with and I just but I had

563
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:04,960
Speaker 4: just suppressed and put them in a nicely organized box

564
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:06,200
Speaker 4: and said, Okay, we're done with that.

565
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:07,239
Speaker 3: You know.

566
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:09,840
Speaker 4: So I always think about her that quote that she

567
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:11,520
Speaker 4: said to me, like the mess is in the message.

568
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:14,320
Speaker 3: It really the messages. The message is in the mess

569
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:15,600
Speaker 3: and it's always stuck with me.

570
00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:24,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, deeply. Well how has it felt?

571
00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:24,600
Speaker 3: You know?

572
00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:26,520
Speaker 1: I know, in the last couple of years, you guys

573
00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:31,600
Speaker 1: have launched these really beautiful retreats in Costa Rica, and

574
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:34,600
Speaker 1: when I just at first I want to be at

575
00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:36,240
Speaker 1: the next one because y'all look like you have a

576
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:40,840
Speaker 1: gut dang blast and every time you know me and

577
00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:43,960
Speaker 1: you like we will get together for dinner and stuff Erica.

578
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:46,120
Speaker 1: And like I remember I was talking to you right

579
00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:48,880
Speaker 1: when you got back, and you were just telling me

580
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:50,360
Speaker 1: some of the things that were going down, and I

581
00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:52,720
Speaker 1: was like, okay, I need to be that free, like

582
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:56,200
Speaker 1: get me on the sand right now, let.

583
00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:56,800
Speaker 3: Your teddies hang.

584
00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:06,080
Speaker 6: Maybe's not that, however, it's a form of healing things,

585
00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:10,840
Speaker 6: be saying I might yeah, where some cute bottoms or

586
00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:13,640
Speaker 6: something a very I want to supportive top.

587
00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:20,400
Speaker 1: But you know, the journey of something we have talked

588
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:25,960
Speaker 1: about is the journey of honoring being on the path

589
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 1: of a healer and letting yourself occupy that space as

590
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:33,720
Speaker 1: a teacher, as a healer, as a way shower. Was

591
00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:37,000
Speaker 1: that challenging to let yourself kind of sink into Did

592
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:40,880
Speaker 1: you grapple it all with like claiming that space of

593
00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:42,800
Speaker 1: all you had healed and all you had learned in

594
00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:49,360
Speaker 1: your ability to serve with it? Oh?

595
00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:50,560
Speaker 3: I think it took some time.

596
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:53,920
Speaker 5: I know, like we've done eight retreats, right, We've done

597
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:57,640
Speaker 5: eight retreats so far, and I think that I don't know,

598
00:31:57,680 --> 00:32:00,800
Speaker 5: I think, like, again, this process is so divine that

599
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:04,680
Speaker 5: we weren't like we're going to be healers. It's just

600
00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:08,120
Speaker 5: like these events came and then we're like, I think

601
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:11,240
Speaker 5: that we're doing something important, you know, and then you

602
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:13,480
Speaker 5: go into the jungle and then you know, these things

603
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:16,640
Speaker 5: happen and you're leading women, and I think that are

604
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:19,360
Speaker 5: initially our idea of what that looked like and what

605
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:22,760
Speaker 5: that meant like like held this, I think we were

606
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:25,160
Speaker 5: holding ourselves to some kind of standard, right, like we

607
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:28,600
Speaker 5: live in a society that kind of conditions us to

608
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:31,200
Speaker 5: believe that you need some type of special curriculum and

609
00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:33,200
Speaker 5: some type of special piece of paper that somebody in

610
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:36,000
Speaker 5: a uniform gives you in order to be this right,

611
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:38,719
Speaker 5: especially as women, you do this, and that's what you do.

612
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 3: You went to school for this, that's what you do.

613
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:41,560
Speaker 5: You're not going to be like a model and a

614
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:44,440
Speaker 5: singer and a basketball player and you know what I mean,

615
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:46,200
Speaker 5: Like you can only be so many things.

616
00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:47,760
Speaker 3: This is the world we live in. You're a doctor.

617
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 5: You're only a doctor if you have this paper and

618
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:52,000
Speaker 5: you read this book and you paid five hundred thousand

619
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:53,400
Speaker 5: dollars to go to this university.

620
00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:54,920
Speaker 3: And so we kind of lead with that.

621
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:58,400
Speaker 5: And I think this lesson and for us being healers,

622
00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:03,040
Speaker 5: is that I think we kind of had to understand

623
00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:06,320
Speaker 5: that it's innate and that like, our gifts are our

624
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:08,680
Speaker 5: gifts and no one can take that away from us.

625
00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:10,959
Speaker 5: And then I think then we kind of accepted it.

626
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:15,080
Speaker 5: But I think there was definitely a period of what

627
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:19,080
Speaker 5: is it called imposter syndrome where I'm like, I don't

628
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:21,560
Speaker 5: want to call myself that, Like that's let's just chill,

629
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:24,160
Speaker 5: you know, and at this point, you know, I think

630
00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:26,960
Speaker 5: it's taken all eight retreats to be like, bitch, me

631
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:32,800
Speaker 5: do this. I'll be healing people in the jungle, you know.

632
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:35,760
Speaker 5: And and just understand that I've really come into this

633
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:41,120
Speaker 5: understanding that it's the embodiment, the embodiment of like we

634
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:43,800
Speaker 5: all have met here before, you know, if we're all

635
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:47,600
Speaker 5: here too with purpose and that's our divine like just

636
00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:49,800
Speaker 5: like the plants are supposed to grow and a polar

637
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:53,160
Speaker 5: bear is supposed to be in fucking Alaska, Like there

638
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:56,280
Speaker 5: are things that we're gifted with at birth and doesn't

639
00:33:56,280 --> 00:34:01,760
Speaker 5: require any type of degree or certificate or training, and

640
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:04,680
Speaker 5: you know, innately on a cellular level, there are gifts

641
00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:07,600
Speaker 5: that were given and it's to be ourselves. And at

642
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:10,520
Speaker 5: the root of being ourselves is the healing. And I

643
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:13,279
Speaker 5: think we all have the potential to heal each other

644
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:17,120
Speaker 5: because I think as a human society, we were connected

645
00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:19,759
Speaker 5: and we were supposed to work in community, and that

646
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:22,600
Speaker 5: means healing each other, given each other, give an exchange

647
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:24,919
Speaker 5: of energy, and we all have different gifts to give

648
00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:29,040
Speaker 5: and receive. And I think that like understanding that existing

649
00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:32,520
Speaker 5: exactly as who I am is the gift of healing

650
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:34,880
Speaker 5: because someone else can look and say, oh, look, this

651
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:38,400
Speaker 5: little crazy bitch is bold enough to be this, this, this,

652
00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:40,839
Speaker 5: and that I can learn something from that and then

653
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:42,680
Speaker 5: be attracted to it and then come and take a

654
00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:45,160
Speaker 5: trip and then gain something from that, and vice versa.

655
00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:47,520
Speaker 5: We've gained a lot of things. So I think like

656
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:51,920
Speaker 5: it's been of like an interesting dance with what is,

657
00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:53,719
Speaker 5: you know, like we have been doing the work for

658
00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:56,320
Speaker 5: a long time, and that's just by showing up as ourselves.

659
00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:58,960
Speaker 5: We haven't had to come with like a special suit

660
00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:00,839
Speaker 5: jacket and a blazer and be like this is who

661
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:04,160
Speaker 5: we are. It's just like, I think I've really learned

662
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:09,359
Speaker 5: that the healer is existing as exactly as you are

663
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:12,879
Speaker 5: without apology, and that is the gift that you give

664
00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:14,120
Speaker 5: to the people around.

665
00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:17,279
Speaker 1: You, you know it. I think that is so powerful.

666
00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:21,560
Speaker 1: And I would also say it's the commitment to continuing

667
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:24,080
Speaker 1: to evolve oneself, you know, because that's what I've also

668
00:35:24,160 --> 00:35:28,680
Speaker 1: heard you say. It's like, yes, we have these innate gifts,

669
00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 1: and then once we notice them, once we agree to

670
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:36,960
Speaker 1: use them in service, then it's our duty to keep

671
00:35:37,040 --> 00:35:39,359
Speaker 1: kind of like, do I still relate to that way

672
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:42,160
Speaker 1: of being like, how can I evolve that thought? Can

673
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:45,880
Speaker 1: I refine myself in a way that this inherent gift

674
00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:50,640
Speaker 1: I have can be even more potent, more aligned, more clear?

675
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:51,160
Speaker 2: You know?

676
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:55,080
Speaker 1: And we have so many things to give in that way.

677
00:35:55,640 --> 00:35:57,000
Speaker 3: No, I agree. I think.

678
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:02,920
Speaker 4: Again what me Al said as far as just existing

679
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:06,040
Speaker 4: as who you are and that being the gift, and

680
00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:09,319
Speaker 4: also then like saying, Okay, I know that these are

681
00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:10,960
Speaker 4: my gifts, how do I how do I hone them?

682
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:12,640
Speaker 3: What are the who do I need to talk to?

683
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:13,600
Speaker 3: Who do I need to speak with?

684
00:36:14,239 --> 00:36:16,960
Speaker 4: Reaching out to other people, and because that's where the

685
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:19,600
Speaker 4: expansion starts to happen, even in your gifts and in

686
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:23,000
Speaker 4: your offering, And that's what I feel like has been

687
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,920
Speaker 4: the journey for me since that first retreat, because we

688
00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:29,560
Speaker 4: went in not really I've never been on a retreat

689
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:32,600
Speaker 4: ever in my life, even now, So I had no idea,

690
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:36,239
Speaker 4: I had no expectation, which actually was was really beautiful

691
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:39,200
Speaker 4: because I just we just created something that what would

692
00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:39,600
Speaker 4: we want?

693
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:41,680
Speaker 1: What would I want?

694
00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:45,880
Speaker 4: If I was traveling hundreds of miles away from my home,

695
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:50,959
Speaker 4: driving five hours into the jungle to meet a bunch

696
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:53,120
Speaker 4: of women I've never met. I'm coming by myself because

697
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:55,879
Speaker 4: most of our people they come alone. What would I want?

698
00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:58,399
Speaker 4: How would I want to be taken care of? And

699
00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:01,000
Speaker 4: you know, we just answered all of those questions and

700
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:03,799
Speaker 4: we did it. And I just remember like after our

701
00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:06,520
Speaker 4: first workshop, like and everyone left me and Miela like

702
00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:07,680
Speaker 4: we're like what the fuck?

703
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:11,440
Speaker 3: We're like, oh my god. That was amazing.

704
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:13,960
Speaker 4: Like I was like I was on fire, and like

705
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:19,359
Speaker 4: there was it was this amazing rush of energy and

706
00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:22,799
Speaker 4: joy and life and emotion that like went through my

707
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:27,120
Speaker 4: body and it awoke in something and me even more

708
00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:29,640
Speaker 4: so like Okay, well now I know like I have

709
00:37:29,719 --> 00:37:31,480
Speaker 4: to do more. I want to do more, Like how

710
00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:35,360
Speaker 4: do I support this group even more? How do I

711
00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:39,160
Speaker 4: crack them open even more? And then also like how

712
00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:40,680
Speaker 4: do I crack myself open even more?

713
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:42,279
Speaker 1: How do I do that?

714
00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:43,120
Speaker 3: You know?

715
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:45,799
Speaker 4: And it's been a it's been a journey this, you know,

716
00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:48,800
Speaker 4: our last few retreats have been, you know, very challenging

717
00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:51,200
Speaker 4: for me because I think as I expand and as

718
00:37:51,239 --> 00:37:54,360
Speaker 4: I open myself up more and tap into my gifts

719
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:57,319
Speaker 4: and open myself up to you know, reiki and all

720
00:37:57,320 --> 00:38:01,320
Speaker 4: these things, like things are landing on in a different

721
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:05,879
Speaker 4: way where I know as a healer that I have

722
00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:09,880
Speaker 4: to have certain things in place to protect myself so

723
00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:11,920
Speaker 4: that I can be of service not only to them,

724
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:14,840
Speaker 4: but to myself as well. So it's I feel like

725
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:17,160
Speaker 4: it's a it's a it's a journey. And I know,

726
00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:19,960
Speaker 4: I told myself next year, I'm going to go on

727
00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:22,080
Speaker 4: a retreat because I need. I want to go and experience,

728
00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:28,319
Speaker 4: you know, someone else's circle and their container and and

729
00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:30,840
Speaker 4: see what that's like. But I think the beauty of

730
00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:33,160
Speaker 4: our retreats is that there is no like, we don't

731
00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:35,960
Speaker 4: show up as like we are. We are the professionals

732
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:36,879
Speaker 4: here and you are the.

733
00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:37,759
Speaker 1: Students, you know.

734
00:38:38,080 --> 00:38:41,279
Speaker 4: And I think that there is a level of very

735
00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:43,440
Speaker 4: there's a level of like they know that we're here

736
00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:45,319
Speaker 4: to guide them and lead them, but that we're all

737
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:51,520
Speaker 4: kind of here together and we're all equals. Yeah, and

738
00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:53,520
Speaker 4: from all different walks of life. I think that's the

739
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:55,960
Speaker 4: beauty of it, that there is no like elitism in

740
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:56,799
Speaker 4: the experience.

741
00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:59,520
Speaker 1: And it too, it depends kind of like there's so

742
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:03,200
Speaker 1: many benefits to different styles, and it depends what we need,

743
00:39:03,239 --> 00:39:05,480
Speaker 1: you know, what you need. Some people really need that

744
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:09,920
Speaker 1: guidance deeply, and they need all the places that that

745
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:12,000
Speaker 1: can take them in some of the privacy of that.

746
00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:14,600
Speaker 1: But then there's also you know, not everyone goes to

747
00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:18,040
Speaker 1: one on one therapy. A lot of people have profound

748
00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:21,839
Speaker 1: and even better experiences in group therapy because being able

749
00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:24,480
Speaker 1: to connect to the stories of other people, to share

750
00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:27,760
Speaker 1: yourself with a group, like you're working so many different

751
00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:30,319
Speaker 1: muscles and healing so many different parts you may not

752
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:33,359
Speaker 1: have had a chance to. So it's like, yeah, that's

753
00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:35,960
Speaker 1: the beauty of us in this time, being able to say, well,

754
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:39,160
Speaker 1: what will work for me, like what makes me feel

755
00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:43,160
Speaker 1: excited and the most free and open to be my

756
00:39:43,239 --> 00:39:44,799
Speaker 1: most authentic self? Right?

757
00:39:45,680 --> 00:39:46,400
Speaker 3: I agree?

758
00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 4: And you know, we just did an episode the other

759
00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:52,600
Speaker 4: day or that's coming out next week with a young

760
00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:55,160
Speaker 4: woman named Miala. She's a voodoo priestess, and we were

761
00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:57,640
Speaker 4: talking about like what a healer supposed to look like, right,

762
00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:01,799
Speaker 4: what a voodoo priestess looks like. I think that there's

763
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:06,640
Speaker 4: this misconception around what this role is supposed to look

764
00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:09,000
Speaker 4: like and the fact that it's not really a role.

765
00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:12,440
Speaker 4: Like every woman is a healer. We all have these gifts.

766
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:15,879
Speaker 4: We sometimes we don't tap into them in our whole

767
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:18,719
Speaker 4: entire lifetime. Right, maybe we do, but just in different ways.

768
00:40:18,719 --> 00:40:21,680
Speaker 4: We heal people through food, we heal people through whatever

769
00:40:21,719 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 4: it is. But I just want to encourage women to

770
00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:30,520
Speaker 4: just understand that it doesn't have to look a certain way.

771
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:35,080
Speaker 4: You don't have to like wear nudes or head wraps

772
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:39,720
Speaker 4: or all white or whatever it is. Like, it's whatever

773
00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:46,560
Speaker 4: allows you to show up and be open to whoever

774
00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:52,000
Speaker 4: it is you're serving, and be authentic and be present

775
00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:56,120
Speaker 4: and give whatever that person needs from you in that moment.

776
00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:57,959
Speaker 3: It doesn't have to be this whole thing.

777
00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:00,440
Speaker 4: And I think for me, even when I when I

778
00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:03,880
Speaker 4: started to step into the space again, just like when

779
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:07,120
Speaker 4: I met Jamila and I adopted these things abound motherhood

780
00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:09,440
Speaker 4: and what I was supposed to be, I felt myself

781
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:12,000
Speaker 4: almost wanting to do that again, and I had to

782
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:14,120
Speaker 4: resist and say no, no, no, no, no, we're not doing that.

783
00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:16,960
Speaker 3: Like you are enough, You've got it.

784
00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:19,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's new territory, Like even this idea of

785
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:22,319
Speaker 1: being a healer, it's the last few years. You know.

786
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:25,719
Speaker 1: It's like we're reclaiming the matriarchy. We're reclaiming that blueprint

787
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:29,600
Speaker 1: that we can be the spiritual head of household and

788
00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:32,560
Speaker 1: be the medicine women. You know, it's really new ground.

789
00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:37,520
Speaker 1: And I you know, I believe in the path of

790
00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:40,560
Speaker 1: being a healer and whatever that means to each of us.

791
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:44,680
Speaker 1: To me, it comes down to, like, at the very

792
00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:48,160
Speaker 1: very core of it, one fundamental, are you being of

793
00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:51,000
Speaker 1: service to others or are you being of service to yourself?

794
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:53,719
Speaker 1: If you're only being of service to yourself, if this

795
00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:55,920
Speaker 1: is a look, if this is a marketing employee, if

796
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:59,359
Speaker 1: this is a way for you to be seen, you're

797
00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:03,319
Speaker 1: not a healer. If you are using your gifts in

798
00:42:03,440 --> 00:42:06,719
Speaker 1: service to yourself and in service to others. To me,

799
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:09,319
Speaker 1: that's like what at the core, core, core base of

800
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:12,279
Speaker 1: whatever it is you call yourself, whatever your modalities are,

801
00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:14,840
Speaker 1: there has to be a desire to be of service

802
00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:17,560
Speaker 1: to others. There has to be an alignment. There has

803
00:42:17,640 --> 00:42:21,120
Speaker 1: to be a connection to whatever your higher power is

804
00:42:21,239 --> 00:42:24,200
Speaker 1: source I call that power God, you know. But there

805
00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:27,799
Speaker 1: has to be alignment, there has to be guidance, and

806
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:30,719
Speaker 1: there has to be a desire to do good for

807
00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:34,120
Speaker 1: others outside of just what you get from it, you know,

808
00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:44,960
Speaker 1: absolutely deeply, well, well, talk to me about I have

809
00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:46,919
Speaker 1: got to come to one of these because I had

810
00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:51,240
Speaker 1: no damn idea, how lit it gets. I feel like, Erica,

811
00:42:52,080 --> 00:42:55,040
Speaker 1: you under sell things to me, like will be a conversation.

812
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:57,000
Speaker 1: You'd be like, oh yeah, girl, yeah, we just did

813
00:42:57,000 --> 00:42:59,239
Speaker 1: our live show and so such and such, all right,

814
00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:01,360
Speaker 1: so what should we do Italian tonight? What are we

815
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:05,000
Speaker 1: And then I go on like good Mom's Bad Choices

816
00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:11,480
Speaker 1: Instagram page and I'm like, what talk to me about

817
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:16,920
Speaker 1: these confessions of goodness bad choices, these live night outs

818
00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:20,120
Speaker 1: that you were doing with your community, because it looks incredible.

819
00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:24,879
Speaker 4: Uh yeah, so you know what's our We're going on tour.

820
00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:27,480
Speaker 4: We have our first show October twenty first in La

821
00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:30,080
Speaker 4: the Tereogram Ballroom, and we went on tour last year.

822
00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:32,520
Speaker 4: It was called Good Mom's Gone Wild and it got wild.

823
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:35,799
Speaker 1: It's exactly what it sounds like, you know, Booty, I

824
00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:39,239
Speaker 1: saw so many things. Well.

825
00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:42,040
Speaker 4: The theme of the theme of the show is confessions because,

826
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:44,120
Speaker 4: as you know, me and Miila have confessed a lot

827
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:46,640
Speaker 4: of things on our show, and so we are now

828
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:51,520
Speaker 4: imploring our audience to now confess to us and be

829
00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:54,480
Speaker 4: brave and have the guts to also share in a

830
00:43:54,520 --> 00:43:56,600
Speaker 4: safe space, because that's what it is. You know, one

831
00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:58,719
Speaker 4: thing about you know the people that show up to

832
00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:01,239
Speaker 4: any of our events. I don't know, So it's it

833
00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:04,800
Speaker 4: is divinely curated somehow. We've just never really had a

834
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:09,640
Speaker 4: like a weirdo. It's always just been like a beautiful,

835
00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:13,439
Speaker 4: safe community of women and men, and so it's really

836
00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:17,239
Speaker 4: a night to just tap into all of all every

837
00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:20,000
Speaker 4: type of pleasure, like naughty pleasures. And no, it's not

838
00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:23,080
Speaker 4: a sex party. It's a regular show, so don't get crazy.

839
00:44:23,080 --> 00:44:25,360
Speaker 4: Although we are having one of those December ninth in

840
00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:31,239
Speaker 4: downtown La check out Sousia. But this is really just

841
00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:33,960
Speaker 4: a place for women and men if they want to

842
00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:35,680
Speaker 4: bring their dates. I think it's a really great date

843
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:41,200
Speaker 4: night idea to just have fun, to just say whatever

844
00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:46,640
Speaker 4: thing you've maybe been keeping secret, for us to confess

845
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:51,000
Speaker 4: more things that maybe we haven't shared to, you know,

846
00:44:51,040 --> 00:44:53,319
Speaker 4: play some games to get to know us better, for

847
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:54,799
Speaker 4: us to get to know you better.

848
00:44:54,880 --> 00:44:56,880
Speaker 3: Get to meet new people. Yeah.

849
00:44:56,960 --> 00:44:58,960
Speaker 5: I think one cool thing about like our brand is

850
00:44:58,960 --> 00:45:02,200
Speaker 5: that we met so this because we needed friends, and

851
00:45:02,239 --> 00:45:04,120
Speaker 5: I think it's a hard to find adult friends, so

852
00:45:04,160 --> 00:45:07,000
Speaker 5: we always encourage. Like one thing about us is like

853
00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:10,360
Speaker 5: we're some wild bitches, and so our brand really embodies

854
00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:13,000
Speaker 5: all parts of us, and this is like the wild

855
00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:15,840
Speaker 5: wildlife part, you know, like we'd go to the jungle,

856
00:45:15,880 --> 00:45:18,200
Speaker 5: we do healing shit. It's also also fun and turned up.

857
00:45:18,239 --> 00:45:21,200
Speaker 5: But this is a very special place because this is

858
00:45:21,239 --> 00:45:23,719
Speaker 5: telling all the people, like I know, you always listen

859
00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:25,680
Speaker 5: to us do wild and crazy shit, but now let's

860
00:45:25,840 --> 00:45:27,880
Speaker 5: let's do it, and let's do it in community. And

861
00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:29,960
Speaker 5: it's not wild and crazy as it is fun and

862
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:32,880
Speaker 5: liberating and like you said, a safe place to come

863
00:45:32,880 --> 00:45:35,600
Speaker 5: where you're houcci gear, or take a night off, or

864
00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:38,240
Speaker 5: like give yourself permission to take a break, give yourself

865
00:45:38,239 --> 00:45:40,080
Speaker 5: permission to you know, get a.

866
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:42,680
Speaker 1: Little wear lingerie for no reason.

867
00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:43,600
Speaker 3: Yeah we do.

868
00:45:43,719 --> 00:45:45,319
Speaker 5: I mean really, this is like so we can wear

869
00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:47,440
Speaker 5: the one wear lingerie for no reason and do all

870
00:45:47,480 --> 00:45:49,800
Speaker 5: the things the bauchery that we usually we have a

871
00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:52,080
Speaker 5: reason to do it now, so we call our community

872
00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:54,839
Speaker 5: to come out and help us do it. So there's

873
00:45:54,840 --> 00:46:00,640
Speaker 5: always like special guests, some performances, maybe a couple cute

874
00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:05,080
Speaker 5: guys with good abs, you know, just all the things

875
00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:07,000
Speaker 5: that a woman's nighttime dream might look like.

876
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:11,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh my god, yes, why haven't you invited me?

877
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:13,759
Speaker 1: You come? I feel like I did? Did I have

878
00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:15,160
Speaker 1: a no, no.

879
00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:19,040
Speaker 3: It's required of all our friends, so you have to come. Okay, good, Okay,

880
00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:20,359
Speaker 3: we will come. October twenty.

881
00:46:20,560 --> 00:46:23,680
Speaker 4: It's also my birthday week, so yeah, it's my birthday week,

882
00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:27,120
Speaker 4: so it's going to be extra extra special. And it

883
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:29,439
Speaker 4: is themed like we are asking our community to come out,

884
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:31,680
Speaker 4: and it's the theme is like naughty your nice, So

885
00:46:31,719 --> 00:46:33,319
Speaker 4: if you want to dress.

886
00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:34,799
Speaker 3: But naught your nice? What did you do today? Why

887
00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:36,560
Speaker 3: did you come up when you were asleep? You were sleep.

888
00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:39,560
Speaker 3: I was like, I tried to call you bit naughty?

889
00:46:39,640 --> 00:46:40,320
Speaker 1: Is it Christmas?

890
00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:40,840
Speaker 2: No? Not?

891
00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:44,120
Speaker 4: But that's all That's what I came up with. And

892
00:46:44,520 --> 00:46:46,719
Speaker 4: it's it's just a you know, if you come and

893
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:50,040
Speaker 4: whatever that means to you. For me, that means sexy,

894
00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:52,200
Speaker 4: sexy gear, and I'm gonna be wearing sexy gear because

895
00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:54,040
Speaker 4: it's my birthday. I'm a Scorpio and you know we

896
00:46:54,120 --> 00:46:58,879
Speaker 4: love to tap into our sexual desires and all these things.

897
00:47:00,560 --> 00:47:02,640
Speaker 1: What are what are like all the signs? What are

898
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:03,080
Speaker 1: your three?

899
00:47:03,480 --> 00:47:06,040
Speaker 5: I'm a cancer rising, but I'm on like the Gemini cusp,

900
00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:09,600
Speaker 5: the cusp of magic, and I'm a Leo Moon. No,

901
00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:13,640
Speaker 5: I'm a funk, I'm a Leo's Sun labor moon, Oh.

902
00:47:14,640 --> 00:47:18,920
Speaker 3: Scorpio sun Sagittarius moon Scorpio rising.

903
00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:20,640
Speaker 5: Wow.

904
00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:22,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, y'all got some good stuff.

905
00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:32,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's watery and intense to say that. Yeah, an

906
00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:33,360
Speaker 3: emotional bitches.

907
00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:35,600
Speaker 1: Do you guys do the two of you work with

908
00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:38,719
Speaker 1: do you work with your astrology chart? Like, does that

909
00:47:38,800 --> 00:47:41,600
Speaker 1: have like a role in your life? Absolutely?

910
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:42,359
Speaker 3: I do.

911
00:47:42,640 --> 00:47:48,319
Speaker 4: Yeah, I have actually recently again, I have one of

912
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:50,879
Speaker 4: my spiritual guides. She lives in Costa Rica shout out

913
00:47:50,920 --> 00:47:56,320
Speaker 4: to Sylvia, and she has helped me a lot which

914
00:47:56,440 --> 00:48:01,440
Speaker 4: really help me kind of decode certain things, just things

915
00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:04,640
Speaker 4: that I might need or want in this lifetime that

916
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:07,600
Speaker 4: I didn't get in my last lifetime. And how even

917
00:48:07,640 --> 00:48:11,480
Speaker 4: in like just karmically like why things are coming up

918
00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:13,560
Speaker 4: for me over and over and over again, and why

919
00:48:13,560 --> 00:48:15,600
Speaker 4: it's so important for me to make a different decision

920
00:48:15,680 --> 00:48:17,520
Speaker 4: this lifetime if I really want to transcend?

921
00:48:17,560 --> 00:48:21,040
Speaker 1: Oh yeah no.

922
00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:24,799
Speaker 4: And also even crossing my charts with my daughter and

923
00:48:24,840 --> 00:48:27,920
Speaker 4: so really understanding you know, her and her needs because

924
00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:30,400
Speaker 4: you know, if you're a parent, then you know, like

925
00:48:30,719 --> 00:48:32,560
Speaker 4: you know, we love to call our kids our minimes

926
00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:35,799
Speaker 4: and in ways they adopt traits of ours. You know,

927
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:39,240
Speaker 4: we are you know related, but ultimately there are different

928
00:48:39,239 --> 00:48:40,879
Speaker 4: people and my daughter is a.

929
00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:42,560
Speaker 1: Different human than I am. Destiny.

930
00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:45,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, and so I've really I was struggling for a

931
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:48,600
Speaker 4: while to really understand her because we are very different.

932
00:48:48,640 --> 00:48:53,080
Speaker 3: She's very by the book and.

933
00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:54,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, she's just the way she shows love is different

934
00:48:54,960 --> 00:48:58,520
Speaker 4: than me, not towards me, but towards other people. So

935
00:48:58,640 --> 00:49:02,319
Speaker 4: like really trying to understand that and so understanding her

936
00:49:02,400 --> 00:49:06,360
Speaker 4: chart really really helped me to figure out what is

937
00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:09,200
Speaker 4: it that she needs and like how to encourage her,

938
00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:12,360
Speaker 4: and like, you know, even Sylvia was like, she's.

939
00:49:12,440 --> 00:49:14,279
Speaker 3: She's going to be very studious. You need to like

940
00:49:14,440 --> 00:49:15,760
Speaker 3: encourage that. And it's true.

941
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:19,000
Speaker 4: She's extremely studious. She loves to learn, she loves to

942
00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:21,680
Speaker 4: be the best, she wants to win. You know, that's

943
00:49:21,760 --> 00:49:24,560
Speaker 4: just in her and it's not about like at first,

944
00:49:24,640 --> 00:49:26,440
Speaker 4: I was like, is it because you're insecure? Like I

945
00:49:26,480 --> 00:49:28,640
Speaker 4: was like, what's going on? Like you want and it's like, no,

946
00:49:28,760 --> 00:49:33,000
Speaker 4: she's just this is who she is. And so yes,

947
00:49:33,080 --> 00:49:35,719
Speaker 4: astrology I think has been a beautiful guide for me

948
00:49:36,440 --> 00:49:38,399
Speaker 4: and even in our in our relationship as well too.

949
00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:41,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you guys look at like your sceinastri.

950
00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:42,120
Speaker 3: Girl we didn't.

951
00:49:42,360 --> 00:49:46,000
Speaker 5: Every type of reading, every type of person I listen,

952
00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:48,920
Speaker 5: and every reading, I'm like, okay, I have three relationships

953
00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:51,520
Speaker 5: to ask you about my best friend, my kid, my baby.

954
00:49:51,719 --> 00:49:54,200
Speaker 3: You know, like okay, But you know, it's crazy.

955
00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:57,200
Speaker 5: All the readings we've ever had, because we've had quite

956
00:49:57,239 --> 00:49:59,759
Speaker 5: a lot, they're always like, we are supposed to be

957
00:49:59,800 --> 00:50:03,239
Speaker 5: here doing this together, Like we created an entity. This

958
00:50:03,320 --> 00:50:05,960
Speaker 5: is my soulmate, you know, and there are things we're

959
00:50:05,960 --> 00:50:08,960
Speaker 5: supposed to birth together. There's a partnership that is you know,

960
00:50:09,560 --> 00:50:11,640
Speaker 5: life changing, and it's true, you know, And so like

961
00:50:12,600 --> 00:50:15,239
Speaker 5: every I'm telling you, every single fucking reading we've got,

962
00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:18,000
Speaker 5: it's always like very the same, beautiful.

963
00:50:18,080 --> 00:50:20,120
Speaker 3: I know. It's like, this is what we're supposed to do.

964
00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:22,239
Speaker 5: We're mirrors to each other, and I think we have

965
00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:24,719
Speaker 5: different like purposes, but there's like there are things that

966
00:50:24,760 --> 00:50:26,759
Speaker 5: we are supposed to teach each other. And I think

967
00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:30,480
Speaker 5: knowing that like kind of gives it. Like it's just

968
00:50:30,719 --> 00:50:33,120
Speaker 5: it's just like a marriage. You know, You're like, bitch,

969
00:50:33,120 --> 00:50:34,640
Speaker 5: we're gonna be married. So we got figured it out.

970
00:50:35,360 --> 00:50:38,239
Speaker 5: That's been beautiful. You hold each other so beautifully.

971
00:50:38,239 --> 00:50:40,319
Speaker 1: I was listening to a recent episode where you were

972
00:50:40,360 --> 00:50:43,200
Speaker 1: kind of unpacking, you know, just the natural kind of

973
00:50:43,239 --> 00:50:45,960
Speaker 1: things that come up in friendship. But sometimes like your

974
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:48,040
Speaker 1: friend won't get on your nerves or not get you,

975
00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:50,279
Speaker 1: and it's going to feel, you know, a certain way, and

976
00:50:51,200 --> 00:50:55,239
Speaker 1: you the two of you always really beautifully share the

977
00:50:55,280 --> 00:50:58,120
Speaker 1: authenticity of that and the way you hold one another

978
00:50:58,160 --> 00:51:01,920
Speaker 1: I think is incredibly rational to so many thank you.

979
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:05,400
Speaker 4: We talk about our in the book, we talk about

980
00:51:05,520 --> 00:51:08,839
Speaker 4: being platonic wives, and people are like, what does that mean?

981
00:51:09,120 --> 00:51:09,920
Speaker 3: That's so weird.

982
00:51:11,440 --> 00:51:14,680
Speaker 4: It's so funny because Jimmie, when we when our book

983
00:51:14,680 --> 00:51:16,880
Speaker 4: came out, like we were like top rated and like

984
00:51:16,880 --> 00:51:19,680
Speaker 4: the LGBTQ plus category.

985
00:51:19,880 --> 00:51:23,520
Speaker 3: I think they think we're lesbians but whatever, and I

986
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:24,160
Speaker 3: was like, we're not.

987
00:51:24,280 --> 00:51:30,080
Speaker 4: We don't have sex, I swear guys. But I think,

988
00:51:30,239 --> 00:51:33,799
Speaker 4: you know, this has been like the first relationship that

989
00:51:33,840 --> 00:51:36,920
Speaker 4: I've really ever been able to do that with and

990
00:51:37,520 --> 00:51:41,360
Speaker 4: really treated like a romantic relationship in ways. And we

991
00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:45,360
Speaker 4: talk about that too, about like hows as women we

992
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:52,520
Speaker 4: will give romantic relationships so much space, so much my grace, Yes,

993
00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:57,600
Speaker 4: But in our relationships with our friends, specifically women, they

994
00:51:57,640 --> 00:51:59,760
Speaker 4: cross us once and it is done.

995
00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:00,600
Speaker 1: More an enemy.

996
00:52:00,760 --> 00:52:03,799
Speaker 4: It is done, and you are you've betrayed me.

997
00:52:04,760 --> 00:52:06,880
Speaker 1: But you know we'll sleep with the enemy.

998
00:52:07,040 --> 00:52:09,560
Speaker 3: You know, you'll hold that in secret for the go

999
00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:11,000
Speaker 3: to the grave with it right.

1000
00:52:11,320 --> 00:52:13,200
Speaker 1: You know, does all kinds of things right.

1001
00:52:13,480 --> 00:52:16,600
Speaker 4: And so you know, with that, with that in mind,

1002
00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:20,160
Speaker 4: you know, it's been a good reminder, especially like you know,

1003
00:52:20,760 --> 00:52:23,399
Speaker 4: we've been on our show in a season of us,

1004
00:52:24,200 --> 00:52:27,560
Speaker 4: you know, having you know, to really work on our

1005
00:52:27,600 --> 00:52:30,040
Speaker 4: friendship in a way that we've never had to do before.

1006
00:52:30,239 --> 00:52:34,040
Speaker 4: Whereas everything just flowed really easily before. Because we're building

1007
00:52:34,160 --> 00:52:39,960
Speaker 4: a business and we've businesses, businesses, it has become extremely

1008
00:52:39,960 --> 00:52:43,560
Speaker 4: hard to prioritize our friendship. We are just work work, work, work, work,

1009
00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:46,200
Speaker 4: and it has been a detriment to our friendship. And

1010
00:52:46,719 --> 00:52:49,839
Speaker 4: you know, in any relationship, sometimes resentment starts and then

1011
00:52:49,880 --> 00:52:51,600
Speaker 4: like you don't really say the thing that needs to

1012
00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:54,080
Speaker 4: be said, and you know, you just kind of start

1013
00:52:54,120 --> 00:53:01,600
Speaker 4: to detach and and having to like say, Okay, something's wrong,

1014
00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:04,239
Speaker 4: we need to fix this. Let's look at each what

1015
00:53:04,320 --> 00:53:06,719
Speaker 4: is going on? Tell me everything that you that you've

1016
00:53:06,760 --> 00:53:08,480
Speaker 4: been feeling, and I'm going to tell you everything. We're

1017
00:53:08,520 --> 00:53:11,600
Speaker 4: going to work through this because we're stuck together, and

1018
00:53:11,920 --> 00:53:14,239
Speaker 4: I'm in this with you for life, whether it's good

1019
00:53:14,280 --> 00:53:17,160
Speaker 4: moms or friendship, whatever it is, but friendship at this core,

1020
00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:18,680
Speaker 4: and there is no good moms if we don't have

1021
00:53:18,719 --> 00:53:22,840
Speaker 4: a friendship. And so remembering that the only reason that

1022
00:53:23,080 --> 00:53:26,480
Speaker 4: any of this has happened is because of our friendship. Really,

1023
00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:31,439
Speaker 4: I think put that made that the center again where

1024
00:53:31,480 --> 00:53:34,120
Speaker 4: I feel like it kind of got was getting kind

1025
00:53:34,160 --> 00:53:35,520
Speaker 4: of pushed to the side.

1026
00:53:35,640 --> 00:53:37,160
Speaker 1: And we're still in that right now.

1027
00:53:37,040 --> 00:53:40,400
Speaker 4: Like currently today, like in the process of really like

1028
00:53:41,400 --> 00:53:46,719
Speaker 4: dating ourselves, dating each other again and like prioritizing our

1029
00:53:46,719 --> 00:53:50,360
Speaker 4: relationship where I think that most women probably listening have

1030
00:53:50,440 --> 00:53:53,160
Speaker 4: never done that, me included, I've never done that.

1031
00:53:53,680 --> 00:53:55,319
Speaker 3: You know, I've just I've just kind of like.

1032
00:53:55,400 --> 00:53:56,359
Speaker 1: Backed up a little bit.

1033
00:53:56,400 --> 00:53:58,680
Speaker 4: Okay, I'm gonna give this some space, and then, like

1034
00:53:58,840 --> 00:54:01,880
Speaker 4: you know, we'll come back. We don't really work through

1035
00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:03,320
Speaker 4: things with one another.

1036
00:54:04,280 --> 00:54:08,880
Speaker 1: It's so beautiful because I also think of both of

1037
00:54:08,920 --> 00:54:13,719
Speaker 1: you have beautiful daughters that have built a beautiful friendship

1038
00:54:13,719 --> 00:54:16,840
Speaker 1: with one another, And what a gift for them to

1039
00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:20,800
Speaker 1: see that as their foundation, like their baseline is like

1040
00:54:20,920 --> 00:54:24,719
Speaker 1: healthy friendship and seeing that you can be two individuals,

1041
00:54:24,800 --> 00:54:26,239
Speaker 1: you can get it wrong. You can get it right.

1042
00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:30,000
Speaker 1: But it doesn't mean, you know, for lack of a

1043
00:54:30,040 --> 00:54:32,480
Speaker 1: better word to overly simplify, it doesn't mean beef. It

1044
00:54:32,480 --> 00:54:35,840
Speaker 1: doesn't mean like now you have to dislike someone or

1045
00:54:35,880 --> 00:54:38,720
Speaker 1: pick them apart. And that has just been the template

1046
00:54:38,760 --> 00:54:42,800
Speaker 1: for so many because friendship it is hard, and friendship

1047
00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:46,799
Speaker 1: with women it is hard. Friendship is often so much

1048
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:50,640
Speaker 1: more sacred and long term than a lot of romantic relationships,

1049
00:54:51,280 --> 00:54:53,360
Speaker 1: you know, and it's a lot of times it was

1050
00:54:53,400 --> 00:54:56,280
Speaker 1: the first betrayal for so many of us as young people,

1051
00:54:56,400 --> 00:54:58,000
Speaker 1: you know, even if it was the small one of

1052
00:54:58,080 --> 00:55:01,480
Speaker 1: like someone just stopped talk to you in elementary or

1053
00:55:01,640 --> 00:55:04,279
Speaker 1: stole your lunch, or you know, the bigger ones like

1054
00:55:04,320 --> 00:55:07,359
Speaker 1: girls having beef with you at school or so yeah,

1055
00:55:07,360 --> 00:55:10,400
Speaker 1: how important and how how powerful for them? How have

1056
00:55:10,560 --> 00:55:13,919
Speaker 1: they been, you know, on this journey, because I feel

1057
00:55:13,960 --> 00:55:15,840
Speaker 1: like they are like it's almost like they're I know,

1058
00:55:15,840 --> 00:55:18,640
Speaker 1: they're their own people, but they're like the mini hosts,

1059
00:55:18,680 --> 00:55:21,440
Speaker 1: Like I see them as the two of you kind

1060
00:55:21,480 --> 00:55:23,240
Speaker 1: of like on a couch or out in the world,

1061
00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:25,800
Speaker 1: like they are like mini hosts.

1062
00:55:25,840 --> 00:55:29,719
Speaker 4: They they be very much a part of this and

1063
00:55:29,760 --> 00:55:33,520
Speaker 4: what we've created obviously, you know, even early on when

1064
00:55:33,520 --> 00:55:36,040
Speaker 4: me and me Live were filming our show at my house,

1065
00:55:36,239 --> 00:55:38,440
Speaker 4: like we've we filmed our show at my house for

1066
00:55:38,520 --> 00:55:41,439
Speaker 4: the first two and a half years, three years, two years,

1067
00:55:41,440 --> 00:55:44,080
Speaker 4: I don't know, but they were there, you know, and

1068
00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:46,960
Speaker 4: in the other room through a glass door, which a

1069
00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:47,600
Speaker 4: lot of people are like.

1070
00:55:47,560 --> 00:55:49,400
Speaker 3: You're having these conversations abounding our kids. I'm like, no,

1071
00:55:49,440 --> 00:55:50,560
Speaker 3: there's a door. There are three.

1072
00:55:50,640 --> 00:55:53,960
Speaker 4: We could see them, but they would interrupt the show,

1073
00:55:54,080 --> 00:55:56,040
Speaker 4: and like, you know, we'd like include them, or we

1074
00:55:56,120 --> 00:55:58,120
Speaker 4: play elevator music, like, oh god, I gotta be moms

1075
00:55:58,160 --> 00:56:02,080
Speaker 4: real quick, be right back, you know. But you know,

1076
00:56:02,160 --> 00:56:07,160
Speaker 4: I think that they have seen our evolution in ways

1077
00:56:07,320 --> 00:56:11,560
Speaker 4: and been a part of been a part of that.

1078
00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:15,880
Speaker 4: And I think because of the journey of our friendship

1079
00:56:15,960 --> 00:56:17,680
Speaker 4: and also like the guests that have come on that

1080
00:56:17,719 --> 00:56:21,160
Speaker 4: have really the guests, also our community of women and

1081
00:56:21,239 --> 00:56:24,719
Speaker 4: mothers that are seasoned mothers that have already done this

1082
00:56:25,560 --> 00:56:30,799
Speaker 4: four times over giving us advice about like what to do,

1083
00:56:30,880 --> 00:56:33,440
Speaker 4: how to talk to your kids about this? Hey, Like

1084
00:56:33,600 --> 00:56:35,399
Speaker 4: I just went through a breakup. How do I talk

1085
00:56:35,440 --> 00:56:36,399
Speaker 4: to my daughter about that?

1086
00:56:36,600 --> 00:56:36,799
Speaker 3: You know?

1087
00:56:37,400 --> 00:56:40,160
Speaker 1: Hey, like my daughter, you know, so there's just different

1088
00:56:40,200 --> 00:56:47,080
Speaker 1: things that I think they have benefited greatly from because

1089
00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:52,120
Speaker 1: of this entity that we have created. But I don't know.

1090
00:56:52,160 --> 00:56:55,320
Speaker 4: I'm so I'm always I can't wait to see how

1091
00:56:55,440 --> 00:56:58,279
Speaker 4: our daughters are when they're like sixteen or seventeen and

1092
00:56:59,200 --> 00:57:01,799
Speaker 4: see how these things land on them, and like what

1093
00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:03,360
Speaker 4: kind of young women they become.

1094
00:57:05,080 --> 00:57:07,480
Speaker 3: But I have an idea that they're going to be

1095
00:57:07,520 --> 00:57:14,080
Speaker 3: pretty powerful beings. Yeah, oh for sure, Oh for sure. Well,

1096
00:57:14,880 --> 00:57:17,720
Speaker 3: the two of you. I am a fan of your work.

1097
00:57:18,040 --> 00:57:21,360
Speaker 3: I think you do so many beautiful, powerful things for

1098
00:57:21,440 --> 00:57:23,840
Speaker 3: women in the world and also men because there are

1099
00:57:23,880 --> 00:57:26,880
Speaker 3: men watching and hearing that are being changed by the

1100
00:57:26,920 --> 00:57:30,640
Speaker 3: conversations that you're having. So thank you for joining me

1101
00:57:30,760 --> 00:57:33,720
Speaker 3: on today's show. And as the last thing, I always

1102
00:57:33,760 --> 00:57:36,640
Speaker 3: ask that every guest share a little soul work or

1103
00:57:36,640 --> 00:57:39,760
Speaker 3: homework that the listening audience can take with them into

1104
00:57:39,800 --> 00:57:42,840
Speaker 3: the week after they hear this show. What is something

1105
00:57:43,280 --> 00:57:46,400
Speaker 3: that those listening can think about, maybe in relation to

1106
00:57:47,320 --> 00:57:48,880
Speaker 3: the freedom they give themselves.

1107
00:57:49,400 --> 00:57:51,400
Speaker 1: What's a tool? What's a prompt?

1108
00:57:51,840 --> 00:57:54,560
Speaker 3: I have a good one. I'm in tantra school. I'm

1109
00:57:54,560 --> 00:57:55,200
Speaker 3: almost done.

1110
00:57:55,200 --> 00:57:59,720
Speaker 5: I'm going to be a certified sexologists and Tanser practitioner.

1111
00:58:00,080 --> 00:58:02,120
Speaker 3: Wow, yes, I'm very excited.

1112
00:58:02,200 --> 00:58:03,320
Speaker 1: Least come back to talk about it.

1113
00:58:03,400 --> 00:58:05,000
Speaker 3: I will. I'll be done in one month.

1114
00:58:07,080 --> 00:58:08,800
Speaker 5: But one of the practices we do because you know,

1115
00:58:08,800 --> 00:58:10,960
Speaker 5: we talk about prioritizing our pleasure. And I realized we

1116
00:58:11,000 --> 00:58:14,120
Speaker 5: talked about this before we started about people in general.

1117
00:58:14,280 --> 00:58:18,520
Speaker 5: Not we're so conditioned to forget about prioritizing our own

1118
00:58:18,560 --> 00:58:21,520
Speaker 5: pleasure that we often think that it means it's an inconvenience,

1119
00:58:21,920 --> 00:58:24,120
Speaker 5: and so we'll do things without thought, just like oh

1120
00:58:24,120 --> 00:58:25,960
Speaker 5: do you want the water like, oh, no, take it

1121
00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:27,680
Speaker 5: as it is? Oh do you want to look in

1122
00:58:27,680 --> 00:58:27,959
Speaker 5: the mirror?

1123
00:58:28,040 --> 00:58:28,160
Speaker 2: Now?

1124
00:58:28,200 --> 00:58:29,800
Speaker 3: We can just start, you know, and then you're mad

1125
00:58:29,920 --> 00:58:30,320
Speaker 3: or whatever.

1126
00:58:30,400 --> 00:58:33,720
Speaker 5: But if you just take like a couple of minutes

1127
00:58:33,720 --> 00:58:36,240
Speaker 5: every day to write down three things that brought you

1128
00:58:36,280 --> 00:58:39,000
Speaker 5: pleasure today, like a pleasure journal, so you can start

1129
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:41,000
Speaker 5: to hone in on the things that make you feel

1130
00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:43,960
Speaker 5: good and you can start to choose them consciously, and

1131
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:46,200
Speaker 5: then kind of just start to ask yourself, like, no

1132
00:58:46,280 --> 00:58:48,760
Speaker 5: matter what, like am I at a tense spot of

1133
00:58:48,800 --> 00:58:50,479
Speaker 5: pleasure right now? Like what can I do? Like should

1134
00:58:50,480 --> 00:58:52,400
Speaker 5: I move my body? Would that be more comfortable?

1135
00:58:52,600 --> 00:58:53,280
Speaker 3: And then do it?

1136
00:58:53,760 --> 00:58:55,960
Speaker 5: Do I need ice do it, like do I want

1137
00:58:55,960 --> 00:58:57,920
Speaker 5: a coffee right now? Would that make me at a

1138
00:58:57,920 --> 00:59:00,960
Speaker 5: tense spot? And then do it and then journal the

1139
00:59:01,040 --> 00:59:05,760
Speaker 5: things if it's like sexual pleasure, spiritual pleasure, what brought

1140
00:59:05,760 --> 00:59:07,760
Speaker 5: you pleasure in different realms today?

1141
00:59:07,800 --> 00:59:09,120
Speaker 3: And just kind of jot that down.

1142
00:59:10,080 --> 00:59:12,680
Speaker 1: Damn, that's good. I love that.

1143
00:59:12,840 --> 00:59:15,360
Speaker 3: Shout out to the authentic school of Tantra. That wasn't mine.

1144
00:59:15,400 --> 00:59:17,160
Speaker 5: That's my home, that's my homework because I'm going to

1145
00:59:18,680 --> 00:59:20,960
Speaker 5: along with some masturbations some other things. But we can

1146
00:59:20,960 --> 00:59:21,800
Speaker 5: get into that later.

1147
00:59:22,360 --> 00:59:25,640
Speaker 1: Okay, come back, We're going to dive into the things.

1148
00:59:27,680 --> 00:59:31,080
Speaker 4: One thing that we as a rule at our retreat

1149
00:59:31,400 --> 00:59:35,320
Speaker 4: is there's no apologizing, right, There's no more apologizing. So

1150
00:59:35,400 --> 00:59:38,360
Speaker 4: I think for me this has been a practice that

1151
00:59:38,400 --> 00:59:41,360
Speaker 4: I've tried to adopt because I realized just as people,

1152
00:59:41,480 --> 00:59:42,520
Speaker 4: especially as women.

1153
00:59:42,320 --> 00:59:44,960
Speaker 3: We apologize for everything. Like you start.

1154
00:59:44,720 --> 00:59:47,800
Speaker 4: Taking mental note of how often you say you're sorry

1155
00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:50,160
Speaker 4: for things like someone fucks up your order and you're

1156
00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:52,840
Speaker 4: saying sorry to them, you know, or you bump into

1157
00:59:52,840 --> 00:59:55,880
Speaker 4: someone accidentally and you're sorry. So I just want to

1158
00:59:55,960 --> 00:59:59,080
Speaker 4: encourage you to really just take a day and count

1159
00:59:59,160 --> 01:00:03,320
Speaker 4: how many times you say you're sorry, and try every

1160
01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:07,040
Speaker 4: day to make that number go become less and less

1161
01:00:07,160 --> 01:00:10,960
Speaker 4: and less, and find other words to substitute sorry with,

1162
01:00:11,400 --> 01:00:12,880
Speaker 4: you know, because there are a lot of words. There's

1163
01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:14,800
Speaker 4: a lot of vocabulary words you can use to say, oh,

1164
01:00:14,840 --> 01:00:18,080
Speaker 4: excuse me, or thank you for your patience, you know.

1165
01:00:18,320 --> 01:00:21,080
Speaker 4: And it's a practice for me because I apologize all

1166
01:00:21,120 --> 01:00:24,840
Speaker 4: the time still even now, but I'm trying to it's

1167
01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:25,600
Speaker 4: a constant practice.

1168
01:00:25,920 --> 01:00:27,000
Speaker 3: I'm still trying to undo.

1169
01:00:27,360 --> 01:00:29,760
Speaker 4: And I want that for women too, because I think

1170
01:00:29,800 --> 01:00:32,760
Speaker 4: that we should apologize less and take up more space.

1171
01:00:33,560 --> 01:00:39,960
Speaker 1: So hell yeah, yes, thank you. Good Moms Bad Choices.

1172
01:00:40,200 --> 01:00:43,840
Speaker 1: Of course, the podcast with so many powerful episodes, is

1173
01:00:43,880 --> 01:00:47,360
Speaker 1: available wherever you listen to podcasts, and their book, A

1174
01:00:47,400 --> 01:00:51,280
Speaker 1: Good Mom's Guide to Making Bad Choices. It's in stores now,

1175
01:00:51,360 --> 01:00:54,480
Speaker 1: it's available everywhere. Ordering on Amazon Prime because I think

1176
01:00:54,520 --> 01:00:57,600
Speaker 1: there's like a thing happening. I think it's Prime week

1177
01:00:57,640 --> 01:00:57,960
Speaker 1: right now.

1178
01:00:57,960 --> 01:01:00,919
Speaker 3: It's a cute deal happening. It's forty. It's not time

1179
01:01:00,960 --> 01:01:01,320
Speaker 3: to get.

1180
01:01:01,240 --> 01:01:04,960
Speaker 1: It, get it in stores. Thank you both so much,

1181
01:01:05,040 --> 01:01:11,800
Speaker 1: Mila and Erica. Thank you, Debbie No Mistakes Days. Connect

1182
01:01:11,880 --> 01:01:15,840
Speaker 1: with me on social at Debbie Brown. That's Twitter and Instagram,

1183
01:01:16,080 --> 01:01:18,960
Speaker 1: or you can go to my website Debbie Brown dot com.

1184
01:01:19,000 --> 01:01:21,640
Speaker 1: And if you're listening to the show on Apple Podcasts,

1185
01:01:21,760 --> 01:01:26,000
Speaker 1: don't forget, Please rate, review, and subscribe and send this

1186
01:01:26,080 --> 01:01:29,040
Speaker 1: episode to a friend. Deeply Well is a production of

1187
01:01:29,120 --> 01:01:33,360
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio and The Black Effect Network. It's produced by Jacquess Thomas,

1188
01:01:33,600 --> 01:01:38,160
Speaker 1: Samantha Timmins, and me Debbie Brown. The beautiful Soundback You

1189
01:01:38,240 --> 01:01:43,280
Speaker 1: Heard That's by Jarrelen Glass from Crystal Cadence. For more

1190
01:01:43,320 --> 01:01:47,600
Speaker 1: podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app or wherever you

1191
01:01:47,800 --> 01:01:49,520
Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows.