Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Speaker 1: Today's tip is to think could, not should. Focusing on
Speaker 1: what you could choose to do helps you see possibility
Speaker 1: and that might help you make real progress toward your goals.
Speaker 1: A person who reviewed one of my books recently noted
Speaker 1: that I rarely used the word should. Instead. This person
Speaker 1: wrote that I generally aim to show people what they
Speaker 1: could do and how they might benefit. I hadn't thought
Speaker 1: about it that way before, but it is true in
Speaker 1: the strategies I share, and as I think about my
Speaker 1: own decisions, I definitely leaned toward considering what we could
Speaker 1: do instead of feeling constrained by should. Whatever those are, anyway,
Speaker 1: could opens up possibilities well, Should invites obligation and guilt.
Speaker 1: Possibilities are a lot more attractive and often more helpful too.
Speaker 1: In practice, what this means is that when you are
Speaker 1: facing a problem, you want to generate lots of potential solutions.
Speaker 1: Maybe there are ideas that are more common or that
Speaker 1: someone has told you are right, but there may be
Speaker 1: other options too. If you generate lots of possibilities, you
Speaker 1: might decide that some are appealing, which means you are
Speaker 1: more likely to follow through on them. So, for instance,
Speaker 1: let's say you are having trouble sleeping. Lots of advice
Speaker 1: out there suggests not having screens in your bed room,
Speaker 1: and maybe that does help a lot of people. But
Speaker 1: if you aren't going to move your TV out of
Speaker 1: your bedroom, then it is not helpful to berate yourself
Speaker 1: over that fact. Instead, try thinking about all the things
Speaker 1: you could do to sleep better. You could try limiting
Speaker 1: caffeine and alcohol in the afternoon and evening. You could
Speaker 1: try avoiding screens for a half hour before bedtime. You
Speaker 1: could try meditation, a sleep story or another app to
Speaker 1: help you go to sleep. Maybe you could try melatonin,
Speaker 1: or you might change the temperature or some other such intervention.
Speaker 1: When you look at the list of goods, you might
Speaker 1: find one you will actually stick with. Or maybe you
Speaker 1: want to contribute more to your retirement account. You keep
Speaker 1: telling yourself that you should go out to dinner less,
Speaker 1: but when it is six, suck and you're hungry, and
Speaker 1: other folks suggest restaurants, Well, so it goes. What if
Speaker 1: instead you generated other possibilities. You could start a side
Speaker 1: gig and put half your earnings from that into your
Speaker 1: retirement account. Maybe you love to eat out, but you
Speaker 1: don't watch that much TV. If so, you could cancel
Speaker 1: some streaming services and put the money you save into
Speaker 1: the account. When you get a raise in January, you
Speaker 1: could direct all the increase to the retirement account. You
Speaker 1: get the idea. What are all the options and which
Speaker 1: ones sound appealing? No need to chastise yourself about what
Speaker 1: you should do but aren't doing, and I am putting
Speaker 1: the word should in quote marks there. Instead, focus on
Speaker 1: what you could do and what makes the most sense
Speaker 1: in your life. That truth is, as an adult, there
Speaker 1: are very few things that you absolutely have to do.
Speaker 1: There may be consequences to doing or not doing various things,
Speaker 1: but sometimes should is a story we are telling ourselves.
Speaker 1: There are often multiple ways to accomplish the same goal.
Speaker 1: If you are most likely not going to pursue one
Speaker 1: of those approaches with any particular zeal, then there is
Speaker 1: no point feeling himmed in by it and feeling guilty
Speaker 1: that you are not doing it. Instead, look at all
Speaker 1: you could do that way you put yourself in the
Speaker 1: driver's seat. I hope you feel the same way about
Speaker 1: before Breakfast. I have produced almost one thousand unique episodes
Speaker 1: at this point, all of them with some bit of
Speaker 1: advice on how to take your day from great too awesome. Ideally,
Speaker 1: you view the show as a sore of ideas and possibilities,
Speaker 1: not assignments. You do not have to try every tip
Speaker 1: you hear. Some might not be wise for your life,
Speaker 1: and some might just sound silly or unappealing for your
Speaker 1: particular situation, and that is fine. These ideas are options,
Speaker 1: just ideas you could try out if you wanted to.
Speaker 1: If a tip appeals to you, that is wonderful. If not,
Speaker 1: you can let it pass on by. In the meantime,
Speaker 1: this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making
Speaker 1: the most of our time. Hey everybody, I'd love to
Speaker 1: hear from you. You can send me your tips, your questions,
Speaker 1: or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook,
Speaker 1: and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod that's b the number
Speaker 1: four then Breakfast p o D. You can also shoot
Speaker 1: me an email at Before Breakfast podcast at i heeart
Speaker 1: media dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out with
Speaker 1: all the letters. Thanks so much, I look forward to
Speaker 1: staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of I
Speaker 1: heart Radio. For more podcasts from my heart Radio, visit
Speaker 1: the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you
Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows.