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Speaker 1: This is John.

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Speaker 2: This is your og okay storytime podcast hosts, and.

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Speaker 1: We have some rocking stories for you coming up.

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Speaker 3: But before you rock out with your socks out, I

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Speaker 3: got a quick chewmin an ad break from a sponsors,

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Speaker 3: keeping the show rocking and rolling.

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Speaker 2: My friend humiliated me because I refuse to eat her food.

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Speaker 2: Maybe your food was gross. Trigger warning past harmful relationship

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Speaker 2: with food and tampering with food. I have an ex Michael,

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Speaker 2: and he basically would make me sick literally to get

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Speaker 2: back of me. Whenever he was upset with me.

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Speaker 1: He was poisoning you.

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Speaker 4: That's pretty insane. Arrest him or get.

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Speaker 2: One of those guys the Kings had where they would

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Speaker 2: sip their co poison taster. Yeah, are those still out?

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Speaker 1: I don't think there's really a need for those anymore.

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Speaker 4: No, I think there's a lot of poisoning going on

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Speaker 4: unless you're in like Russia, I guess.

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Speaker 2: So they're out of a job. There's no more jobs

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Speaker 2: for them.

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Speaker 1: That's a job AI can't take.

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Speaker 4: But it's usually like it's like a job that yeah

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Speaker 4: they probably could.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they could like get some taste buds and well you.

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Speaker 4: Can can literally like test it. You could probably test

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Speaker 4: it better with like a robot. Okay, I take a

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Speaker 4: job that was passed down. I feel like usually like

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Speaker 4: from lineage, you know, like it was an honor to

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Speaker 4: be the royalty taste.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, always getting the first sip of wine. That's

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Speaker 2: pretty nice.

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Speaker 4: Honestly, it was a pretty good deal as long as

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Speaker 4: you didn't pass.

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Speaker 2: Away Anyways, he was harmful. Ah, I forgot about this.

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Speaker 2: I can see and say that now. It was a

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Speaker 2: horrible time, honestly, and I can't hate him enough. By

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Speaker 2: the way, this comes from that last buy Unicorn. And

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Speaker 2: if you would just make your own stories, go to

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Speaker 2: the orang slash. Okay, story time, so abread it. I'm Riley,

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Speaker 2: I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota. And guys, what.

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Speaker 1: Are we here to do?

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Speaker 2: Make stories?

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Speaker 4: I thought were stories. Whenever people say that, I just

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Speaker 4: automatically default to drop out.

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Speaker 2: Okay, well make some noise. You just sponsored you can't

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Speaker 2: talk for two minutes, all right, Dakota, what are we

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Speaker 2: gonna do? Read stories? Goofully?

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Speaker 3: I mean, give advice, give praise, goofully, give advice, goofully.

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Speaker 2: And if you have anything to add, please put it

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Speaker 2: down below. Hope he says, but a year ago he

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Speaker 2: was non stop stalking me.

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Speaker 4: Oh my goodness.

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Speaker 2: I had to pest through the police, turn on my

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Speaker 2: phone camera to record coming and going everywhere. I had

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Speaker 2: friends on alert too. My head was on an effing swivel.

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Speaker 2: We put hours of footage together, and I found a

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Speaker 2: lawyer willing to take my case, and it was with

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Speaker 2: his help that I finally got a restraining order. WHOA

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Speaker 2: all right? I moved in with some girls I knew

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Speaker 2: through friends who needed a roommate, and sold almost everything

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Speaker 2: I owned to afford the move so quickly. Now he

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Speaker 2: isn't allowed to be near me, but I still find

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Speaker 2: myself feeling cage in public. I've started going out with

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Speaker 2: my roommates and friends more, and I'm just a hard

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Speaker 2: person to meet up with at a bar. I only

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Speaker 2: eat food, maybe by people that I trust or restaurants.

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Speaker 2: If I don't trust you, I'm not eating it. I

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Speaker 2: might pretend to nibble, but I actually won't eat it.

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Speaker 2: I carry granola bars and some nuts in my bag

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Speaker 2: just in case.

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Speaker 4: That's tough. I mean, clearly you have a lot of

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Speaker 4: trauma surrounding food and stuff, but that is that is it.

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Speaker 4: That's tough.

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Speaker 2: So have a menu of all the things you're allergic

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Speaker 2: to make them up so you don't have to eat

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Speaker 2: with people.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a smart idea.

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Speaker 2: But then you have to lie everywhere you go.

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Speaker 4: That's a yeah, but it's it's a little bit easier.

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Speaker 4: I think that people being like, why aren't you eating

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Speaker 4: my food?

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Speaker 2: I can only eat house dairy, I can only eat

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Speaker 2: house onions. Does this outside onion?

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Speaker 1: In?

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Speaker 2: It only eat my house onion. It makes me feel

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Speaker 2: dated and sad. But I can have panic attacks trying

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Speaker 2: to push too far out of my comfort zone. I

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Speaker 2: feel like the wet blanket of my friend group and

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Speaker 2: feel bad every time I decline and invite. Well, New

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Speaker 2: Year's Eve happened and we all went to a friends

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Speaker 2: for dinner. It was potlucks, so I made a couple

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Speaker 2: of dishes I could eat, and I knew I could

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Speaker 2: eat the food with my three roommates because I do

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Speaker 2: trust them. I didn't eat anything outside of this. This

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Speaker 2: isn't new to most people, but it did become a

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Speaker 2: topic of conversation when Tammy started to make comments. I

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Speaker 2: know exactly what Tammy looks like. Tammy's got like a

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Speaker 2: orange tan kind of going on. I'm getting a picture

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Speaker 2: of it right now. Yup, Yes, yes, you know what

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Speaker 2: I'm talking about.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I know what you're talking about.

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Speaker 2: All Smasher says you need some intense therapy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I tried to change the subject. I did my roommate

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Speaker 2: and other friends, but she flat out asked, what's your

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Speaker 2: damage anyway and laughed. I started to tear up. She

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Speaker 2: waved it off, like, oh, don't be sensitive, I'm just

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Speaker 2: joking or whatever. So I just broke down and started crying. Okay,

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Speaker 2: what does this girl look like to go to snatched?

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Speaker 2: With the rack, orange tan, fried hair, solid right hook

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Speaker 2: and a hair trigger temper. Well, there you go.

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Speaker 4: That's tammy.

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Speaker 2: Oh crap, are you seriously crying? F girl? Okay, that

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Speaker 2: was her response.

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Speaker 4: That's terrible, Like you see someone crying like you're seriously crying.

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Speaker 4: Oh shoot, I.

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Speaker 2: Got so angry. So I told her that I have

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Speaker 2: an ex who fed me food I was allergic to

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Speaker 2: and would put stuff in my food as a form

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Speaker 2: of control, that I am in therapy and have deep PTSD,

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Speaker 2: and that it's hard for me to go out to dinners.

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Speaker 2: And this was one of the first times I tried

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Speaker 2: because it's pot look, and I knew I could hang

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Speaker 2: out for the New Year's celebration. That my roommates and

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Speaker 2: I were excited because I can try to do something

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Speaker 2: normal after the midst treatment. I sought for it, and

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Speaker 2: that now I feel like I should just leave. Tammy

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Speaker 2: just got over the quiet and just got up and

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Speaker 2: went to another room.

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Speaker 4: You know what, Good on you for that clap back.

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Speaker 4: Put her in her place.

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Speaker 2: Like Tama's gonna come back. I also had an amusic baggs.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, she's just gonna make it about herself.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, oh yeah, classic Tammy. My roommates managed to mostly

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Speaker 2: distract me and we did have some fun. We did

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Speaker 2: the countdown and I even had a few drinks and

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Speaker 2: loosen up a bit. I thought that was it, but

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Speaker 2: Tammy apologizes via text, ohow.

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Speaker 4: You know what I that response. It does feel like

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Speaker 4: she's just kind of like rude and like doesn't really

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Speaker 4: get things. But I also think like she genuinely probably

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Speaker 4: was just being rude and didn't realize that she you know,

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Speaker 4: had touched a nerves so badly. But she yeah, she

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Speaker 4: just sounds like a rude person and hopefully had a realization.

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Speaker 2: She then requested that everyone. She tell everyone that she

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Speaker 2: apologized and that word.

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Speaker 4: Yes, she sounds so rude.

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Speaker 2: Now, so she can stop being estyle of the groups.

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Speaker 4: That's so funny. Wait, she's like, I am sorry. Can

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Speaker 4: you also message everyone and tell them that I told

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Speaker 4: you I'm sorry?

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Speaker 1: Dude?

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Speaker 2: That's wild because.

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Speaker 4: You take it back, She's still she's still the worst.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because if this is why I start out of

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Speaker 2: the groups, then she's been doing stuff for a minute.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. I asked my roommates and they share

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Speaker 2: that after Tammy left the room, most of the people

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Speaker 2: there outside her husband were cold to her and avoided her.

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Speaker 2: She felt so out of place, and they left before

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Speaker 2: the countdown, and now a bunch of people of the

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Speaker 2: friend groups were stopping inviting her out or have outright

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Speaker 2: canceled plans with her. Sammy was practically begging me to

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Speaker 2: tell everyone that we're all good now, and I won't

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Speaker 2: be doing that. She did apologize, and I accept that apology,

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Speaker 2: but I won't line say we're good. I dealt with

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Speaker 2: a lot of oscillation after I left my home church

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Speaker 2: and went agnostic, so I know how hurtful and damaging

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Speaker 2: it can be. But I can't line say we're good

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Speaker 2: even if she was wasted. What she did and said

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Speaker 2: deeply hurt me and maybe not want to try and

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Speaker 2: go out again after almost a year of therapy to

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Speaker 2: help me get past this.

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Speaker 4: Yes, but also she didn't know that, you know, like

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Speaker 4: you can't. I think she was super rude, and I

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Speaker 4: don't think you have to be good with her, but like,

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Speaker 4: you can't expect everyone to know your you know, like

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Speaker 4: trauma and stuff.

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Speaker 2: I know what, I'm not have to disagree with you here.

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Speaker 4: You think that everyone should know everyone's trauma.

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Speaker 2: What Tammy said Opie unacceptable. Yeah, it's just rude, I agree,

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Speaker 2: and the way she went around it, like Tammy could

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Speaker 2: have mediated a little bit better. Sure, I'm not saying

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Speaker 2: Tammy did the responsible thing by apologizing to Opie, but

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Speaker 2: it's not Opie's job to tell everybody we're all good here.

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Speaker 4: I don't think so. But I also don't think like

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Speaker 4: if someone came to you and was like, we're taking

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Speaker 4: I don't know. I just think you don't have to

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Speaker 4: like continue it. I don't think you have to do

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Speaker 4: anything either way, you know, like Tammy didn't know about

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Speaker 4: your trauma, but she was rude, so I'm just I'm

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Speaker 4: like whatever, Yeah, I just wouldn't give her a second thought,

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Speaker 4: you know, Oh.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I just ignore her. Yeah, so ask her what's

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Speaker 2: your damage? During the New York part. Look, I've never

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Speaker 2: heard what's your damage? Is that thing? People say?

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Speaker 5: Ole thing?

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Speaker 2: What does it mean? Like you're damn well, what's your problem? Oh?

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Speaker 5: It's like, what's wrong with you?

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Speaker 2: Oh? I work from home and go to the same

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Speaker 2: three bars and almost exclusively with a trusted friend, and

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Speaker 2: that's it. That's the extent of me going out. I

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Speaker 2: have a vision board where I can work myself up

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Speaker 2: to taking a vacation out of town by this time

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Speaker 2: next year. And I feel like that party was a

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Speaker 2: step forward, but she put me three steps back. So

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Speaker 2: heck it might be mean, but ever, it's not my

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Speaker 2: fault a problem. People saw an issue in the way

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Speaker 2: she treated me. Oh, and her excuses were that she

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Speaker 2: was wasted and she's been upset since we met six

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Speaker 2: months ago at the housewarming party and I didn't eat

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Speaker 2: her food. Are you do you guys live in the South?

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Speaker 4: Is this so weird? I feel like I would not

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Speaker 4: be paying that much attention to like if I threw

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Speaker 4: a pot lock and I.

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Speaker 2: Was like, someone didn't eat the blue that I mean you.

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Speaker 4: If no one ate the food, I'd be like, oh

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Speaker 4: everyone hated my meal. But like if one person, I

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Speaker 4: don't think I'm say.

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Speaker 2: But Tammy, this is the true she has. She's from

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Speaker 2: the South. She saw op as a threat because Opie's

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Speaker 2: probably prettier than her, better than her in some aspect.

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Speaker 2: So she saw that and started the gold grudges about her.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, call this girl out, Yeah.

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Speaker 2: She said. She tried to find out foods I like

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Speaker 2: and that at her next gathering, and so on and

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Speaker 2: so on, and for some gd reason, it became her

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Speaker 2: life's message to have me eat her food. Why because

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Speaker 2: I've cooked since I was a child, and everyone loves

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Speaker 2: her food. She caters for events, so you know, how

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Speaker 2: dare I not eat her food? Call me bitter? I

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Speaker 2: don't care. Maybe she'll learn next time to mine her business.

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Speaker 2: I'm not too worried. I did tell my friends I

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Speaker 2: feel bad she's being iced out, but not enough to lie.

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Speaker 2: I don't think you have to lie.

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Speaker 4: I think you could have just said, like she apologized,

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Speaker 4: I don't whatever.

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Speaker 2: I don't like her.

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Speaker 4: Still, I don't think it's a lie to says, she apologized.

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Speaker 4: I think you leaded that you say I don't want

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Speaker 4: to like hang around her, but she apologized.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, which is partially true. I filled for her a bit,

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Speaker 2: but just a bit. I hope she's having the day

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Speaker 2: she deserves. We have some medits. Do we do anything else?

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Speaker 2: We just don't here just say.

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Speaker 4: If anyone asks, what happened you say? She apologized, I

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Speaker 4: don't really want to hang out here.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, edits so. When asked me for the text, she

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Speaker 2: sent for context here it is below. Took out names

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Speaker 2: hey one, two, three, four, five, six, six wives. Hey,

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Speaker 2: I just wanted to reach out because I've been thinking

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Speaker 2: about the other night and I feel like some things

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Speaker 2: got blown out of proportion. I was obviously wasted and

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Speaker 2: joking and didn't mean anything by it at all. I

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Speaker 2: hope you're good. If anything I said upset you, that

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Speaker 2: really wasn't my intention. Honestly didn't know you were still

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Speaker 2: so sensitive about stuff like that, And if I had

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Speaker 2: known you were going to take it like that, I

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Speaker 2: wouldn't have joked around like that.

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Speaker 4: L apology girl.

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Speaker 2: Those margarita's were strong. My husband said I had like

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Speaker 2: sid by that point. Holy crap, right, LMO. I mean,

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Speaker 2: you know I like to cook. I used to cook

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Speaker 2: the fam growing up. I mean her and my husband

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Speaker 2: and I met at friend's house because I cook for everyone.

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Speaker 2: That's my love language. I know you get it because

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Speaker 2: you cook all the time. Lol. I try to find

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Speaker 2: out what you like and you won't even eat that.

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Speaker 2: It's just that it's my contribution, and you seem to

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Speaker 2: eat everyone else's food. And I guess it's my bad

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Speaker 2: to take that personal. But you know anyway, you're probably asleep.

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Speaker 2: Sorry to bother you. I just feel really bad because

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Speaker 2: people are acting super weird with me now, and I'm

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Speaker 2: basically being sort of cold shouldered by everyone, which feels unfair.

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Speaker 2: But I know you get it, and I've always tried

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Speaker 2: to be welcoming and inclusive, So this whole situation is

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Speaker 2: really hurtful for me. And this is really getting to

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Speaker 2: my husband and y'all are close, so I don't want

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Speaker 2: this to be blown up anymore than it already needs

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Speaker 2: to be, right, Can you please just tell everyone that

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Speaker 2: we talked and that we're good now. I don't want

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Speaker 2: this to turn into a whole thing when it doesn't

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Speaker 2: need to be. I feel like clearing that elkwood really

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Speaker 2: help smooth things over and we can laugh about it

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Speaker 2: at next week's friends potluck. Anyway, I hope you're feeling

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Speaker 2: better today.

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Speaker 4: Let me know that was the worst apology ever.

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Speaker 2: You were right, she did make that all about her.

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Speaker 4: That was terrible. Oh my goodness. And also she's admitted

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Speaker 4: to knowing. It seems like she knew that OPI had

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Speaker 4: an issue with like other people's food and stuff.

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Speaker 2: Dude, my favorite part was when she said, if I

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Speaker 2: want to know, and you were gonna be that sensitive

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Speaker 2: when I made that joke.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, She's like, I knew that you still like weren't

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Speaker 4: comfortable with that, but I did it anyway.

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Speaker 2: Did she say I'm sorry at all?

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Speaker 4: In no, she was like I'm sorry. No, she said,

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Speaker 4: I was just all, I'm sorry that you reacted badly.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it was that I'm sorry you felt that way.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that was terrible. I take a bag.

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Speaker 3: Oh well, six margaritas. You should be mad at them instead.

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Speaker 4: I'm never taught anyone to like hang out with Tammy

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Speaker 4: go away.

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Speaker 2: Tammy Pyla says, did she just admit that she's only

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00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,520
Speaker 2: sorry her reputation was yes, with.

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Speaker 4: She said, I feel really bad that no one wants

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Speaker 4: to hang out with me anymore.

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Speaker 2: And then added emotional manipulation. Oh Seawan says she is

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Speaker 2: from the Deep South on percent, Yeah, no one.

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Speaker 4: Wants to hang out with you because you stink, girl.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I'm gonna read everyone's update. I'm gonna skip

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Speaker 2: these comments. But like around here in California, you are

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Speaker 2: proud of your cooking, but it's not like a staple

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Speaker 2: people have about the cooking around here, right, No, I don't.

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Speaker 3: I don't think so what about there's very much not

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Speaker 3: like this Southern like notion that it's like if you

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Speaker 3: don't eat a meal that someone made, that it's like

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Speaker 3: you're basically spitting on them.

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Speaker 2: There's like a yeah, it could be.

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Speaker 3: Rude, but it's not like catastrophic like it is in

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Speaker 3: the South.

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Speaker 1: Bro.

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Speaker 2: When my mom went gluten free and she was cooking

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Speaker 2: food for people and like she was still figuring out

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Speaker 2: that like kinks and everything to it, it was tough

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Speaker 2: being at home.

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Speaker 5: Man.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like I can't believe Uncle Matt said this

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Speaker 4: or that this person said that.

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Speaker 2: Now we're all good. We actually prefer her food better now.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, when I started cooking with like and baking and

334
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Speaker 4: stuff and like doing more vegan or non meat stuff.

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Speaker 4: My dad completely, He was like, where's the meat?

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Speaker 2: So you got some fish?

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Speaker 5: There?

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Speaker 2: Is it? Like in the Midwest though, the coda like

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Speaker 2: the food thing.

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Speaker 4: I mean not really.

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Speaker 5: I hadn't experienced that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so she definitely is Is this right? Tammy's are

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Speaker 2: the worst? Okay, Tammy's with the eye. I could see

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Speaker 2: Tammies with the why they just talk a lot? Also,

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Speaker 2: this Tammy talks a lot.

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Speaker 4: It's true she does.

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Speaker 5: She's a talker.

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Speaker 2: Tammy, I never talks a lot. That was not an apology.

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Speaker 2: Awesome Actually around here, if you don't need it, we

350
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:45,480
Speaker 2: just think that you're doing some weird diet or adhere

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Speaker 2: to some weird food preference. Yeah, that's it, that's true.

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Speaker 2: We got an update five days later. I think Tammy

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Speaker 2: crashes out and goes to Opie's house.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I think she gets worse. Yeah, I think it's

355
00:15:57,760 --> 00:15:58,960
Speaker 4: just gonna get worse from Tammy.

356
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Speaker 2: What do you think, Dakota, it's getting stanky from Tammy. Ooh,

357
00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:05,240
Speaker 2: and Tammy like bakes her a pie or something too.

358
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Speaker 4: She's like, eat my food, eat it.

359
00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:14,720
Speaker 1: She shows up with like two buffet trays. It's like

360
00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:16,600
Speaker 1: throwing stuff at opie.

361
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:19,280
Speaker 2: A few people ask for an update, and honestly, I

362
00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:21,200
Speaker 2: wasn't sure if there was gonna be one because this

363
00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:25,040
Speaker 2: honestly feels so boring. But here we are. I chose

364
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:28,040
Speaker 2: to stick with my plan and have no regrets. I

365
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:32,960
Speaker 2: did tell her, I did tell her I accept her apology,

366
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Speaker 2: but I wasn't going to say we're good, because we're

367
00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:41,680
Speaker 2: not nice. She's not a safe person for me, and more,

368
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,680
Speaker 2: her actions have caused me to see her as unsafe.

369
00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:48,000
Speaker 2: Whatever all that means is, I don't want to hang

370
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Speaker 2: out with her. I'll be cordial when I see her,

371
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:54,360
Speaker 2: but no, we are not friends. No, Biggie, not a requirement.

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00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:58,440
Speaker 2: Low steaks right. Well, I was overwhelmed by texts and

373
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Speaker 2: being asked what happened, so I chose to be neutral

374
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:04,359
Speaker 2: and just send the screenshots of her text to me.

375
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:08,040
Speaker 2: You know, her apology which mine you did not have

376
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Speaker 2: the word sorry any.

377
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:11,359
Speaker 4: You know it wasn't much of an apology.

378
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:17,000
Speaker 2: You know, you feel you know that way people could

379
00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:19,640
Speaker 2: make their own choices, and I feel I was being

380
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:22,480
Speaker 2: transparent and not trying to steer the opinions of anyone.

381
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:24,520
Speaker 2: That's a good point. Yeah.

382
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:26,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just like, hey, this is what she said.

383
00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:28,280
Speaker 4: You can be friends with her if you want.

384
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,399
Speaker 2: This is literally what she said.

385
00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:33,119
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like everyone's like, what happened with Tammy? And you

386
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:34,000
Speaker 4: just sent a screenshot and.

387
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,320
Speaker 2: You go there, you go bye. At this point, I

388
00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:38,560
Speaker 2: just send people links to like a Google doc folder.

389
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:42,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just a bunch of screenshots and stuff.

390
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:44,640
Speaker 2: Here's the screenshot. Here's my opinion on the reddit. Here's

391
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:46,600
Speaker 2: some comments. I think this person is doing a live

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00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:47,080
Speaker 2: stream on it.

393
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:50,639
Speaker 4: You could look at that letterbox review of her her text.

394
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:54,080
Speaker 2: This past Monday, there was a group gathering. I went

395
00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:58,359
Speaker 2: because the surprise portion of a birthday celebration was forefront,

396
00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:00,720
Speaker 2: and I did not want to miss out that. I

397
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:03,560
Speaker 2: didn't outright promise to be there, but I know it

398
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:05,879
Speaker 2: meant a lot to my friend if I could make it.

399
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:08,240
Speaker 2: It was at a restaurant, which was the last minute

400
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,919
Speaker 2: change that whypped most of my excuses and made me

401
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:14,280
Speaker 2: feel more okay about going. I figured I could stay

402
00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:17,440
Speaker 2: for a bit, give my gift, and leave if slash

403
00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:20,919
Speaker 2: Wind needed early. I met up with my roomies ahead

404
00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:23,879
Speaker 2: of time, and we spent time together before everyone else arrived,

405
00:18:24,119 --> 00:18:27,640
Speaker 2: which was also special in and of itself. Tammy was there.

406
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:31,159
Speaker 2: She and Wyatt were among the first to arrive. Her

407
00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:36,760
Speaker 2: husband's names Wyatt, Tammy, and Wyatt Wyatts are strange. You know,

408
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:39,560
Speaker 2: a strange Whyatt right, Yes, I know any Wyatts.

409
00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:42,000
Speaker 1: I think I played baseball with a strange Wyatt.

410
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:43,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, they played baseball.

411
00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:46,600
Speaker 3: There was a strange guy with the last name Wyatt

412
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,320
Speaker 3: who went to school with us.

413
00:18:48,119 --> 00:18:49,000
Speaker 4: Ben Wyatt.

414
00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:51,560
Speaker 2: Isn't that a character maybe somewhere.

415
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:56,160
Speaker 3: I mean statistically probably somewhere at some point, Ben Wyatt.

416
00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:59,880
Speaker 2: Isn't there a person out there called Fred Wilkin no

417
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:01,040
Speaker 2: parks and wreck?

418
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:01,879
Speaker 1: Oh?

419
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:05,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, Ben Oh. I thought of Adam Scott whenever you

420
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:06,000
Speaker 2: said that, I was like, is.

421
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,640
Speaker 4: That Adam Scott plays Ben?

422
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:09,520
Speaker 1: Okay? Why?

423
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:12,760
Speaker 3: But his first There is also an obituary for Fred Wilkin,

424
00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:18,040
Speaker 3: so there's no friend.

425
00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:18,720
Speaker 1: In his past.

426
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:21,600
Speaker 2: I thought Adam Scott was.

427
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:24,679
Speaker 4: Like, yeah, you guys are making me feel crazy.

428
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:25,719
Speaker 2: But that's his last name and his first name.

429
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:30,040
Speaker 4: I didn't say it's.

430
00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:29,960
Speaker 1: Not that we I wasn't trying to make you feel crazy.

431
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,399
Speaker 3: It was just the notion that it's like, there's a

432
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Speaker 3: Ben Wyatt somewhere right.

433
00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:38,320
Speaker 1: It's like character, Yeah, that's a good there's gotta.

434
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:40,879
Speaker 2: Be all right. So Tammy just arrived with Wyatt. She

435
00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:43,400
Speaker 2: brought cookies. I called that.

436
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:47,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, She's like, did anyone want food? Please?

437
00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:51,720
Speaker 2: Most people politely took one. My roommates all declined, which

438
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:55,000
Speaker 2: immediately made the vibe weird. I mean you could visibly

439
00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:58,480
Speaker 2: see Tammy get upset. When she got to me. She

440
00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:01,880
Speaker 2: looked at me and said, in a nippy tone, of course, not.

441
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:05,879
Speaker 4: Dude, Tammy, why are you trying to poke the bear?

442
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:09,359
Speaker 2: And moved on to the other table without waiting for

443
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:12,720
Speaker 2: a response. That started up some tensions with my roommates

444
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:16,800
Speaker 2: and who were already clearly annoyed on my behalf, But

445
00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:19,800
Speaker 2: I asked him to please calm down and not make

446
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:22,439
Speaker 2: a scene. This isn't the time or place, and I

447
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:25,360
Speaker 2: really don't care enough for all of the drama. They

448
00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:28,760
Speaker 2: did keep calmish, but they also stuck close to me

449
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:32,320
Speaker 2: the entire party, which I appreciated more than I can say.

450
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:35,040
Speaker 2: How can you be begging for someone to say, hey,

451
00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:36,880
Speaker 2: we're good, right and then do this.

452
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:40,679
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, literally make it worse, make yourself look more

453
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:44,400
Speaker 4: of like more like the antagonist, Tammy, Tammy, Tammy.

454
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:47,880
Speaker 2: I managed to say the majority of the party and

455
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,639
Speaker 2: got to talk to new and old friends. It was

456
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:52,600
Speaker 2: one of the most normal nights I've had in a

457
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:56,080
Speaker 2: very long time. When the birthday boy Jake opened my gift,

458
00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:59,199
Speaker 2: part of it included food, a dish he's love for

459
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:02,280
Speaker 2: years and specifically asked me to make for his birthday.

460
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:05,680
Speaker 2: He was genuinely excited and thanked me a bunch, which

461
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:09,920
Speaker 2: was sweet. But it was also the moment where Tammy

462
00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:15,360
Speaker 2: suddenly made this sound, was almost a gasp of sound,

463
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:18,159
Speaker 2: and we looked at her as she looked like she

464
00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:20,960
Speaker 2: was about to cry and rushed to the bathroom. What

465
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:21,639
Speaker 2: did it sound like?

466
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:24,240
Speaker 4: That was better?

467
00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:27,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll take that. Her husband Wyatt followed her and

468
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:31,000
Speaker 2: they left pretty quickly after that. It's because you're probably

469
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:34,720
Speaker 2: prettier and you took the spot of cook in the

470
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:38,840
Speaker 2: friend group. Yeah, that's why she hates you. Yeah, she's absute,

471
00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:41,399
Speaker 2: and that's if we had like another pescatarian in the

472
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:43,080
Speaker 2: friend group, you would have no place.

473
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:48,399
Speaker 4: Do you have another prescotarian? Well, actually, our friend Mattie

474
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:49,680
Speaker 4: is no longer a preescytarian.

475
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:52,000
Speaker 2: See See now you are still relevant in the group.

476
00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:54,360
Speaker 2: Imagine if there was another one, you wouldn't like, We're

477
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:55,240
Speaker 2: not to get rid of you.

478
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:56,760
Speaker 4: No one would even care about me.

479
00:21:57,000 --> 00:22:01,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd be obsolete exactly. Raven Rue says. The Southern

480
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:04,919
Speaker 2: competition for best cook or baker has lots of hunderhanded

481
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:09,000
Speaker 2: snark and gossip. Whole families will stop talking to each

482
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:09,919
Speaker 2: other over food.

483
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:10,680
Speaker 1: Yeah.

484
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:14,000
Speaker 2: Later that night in the group chat, Tammy apologize again,

485
00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:16,959
Speaker 2: but this time it was more about how hard it

486
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:20,880
Speaker 2: is for her to feel unappreciated for her cooking and

487
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:25,400
Speaker 2: baking since it's her love language and she's not near

488
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:26,480
Speaker 2: her family.

489
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:29,440
Speaker 4: It doesn't feel very loving when you do. It feels

490
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:32,520
Speaker 4: like it's your hate language. It's your passive aggressive language.

491
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:35,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, this stuff doesn't translate here, girl. She talked about

492
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:38,439
Speaker 2: how cooking is how she shows love, and how she

493
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:42,520
Speaker 2: learned from her army and grew up with German cruisine

494
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:46,280
Speaker 2: and diverse recipes, and how painful it is when that's

495
00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:49,520
Speaker 2: not really received the way she intends. She does this

496
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,399
Speaker 2: to share joy and connect with people, and since Wyatt

497
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:55,640
Speaker 2: is the friend and she's just the plus one, it's

498
00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:58,040
Speaker 2: very important to her to connect with all of us

499
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:00,800
Speaker 2: and this makes her feel crappy. There was more, but

500
00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:03,119
Speaker 2: I muted the chat and didn't look at it again

501
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:07,320
Speaker 2: until today after work, when I checked about thirty minutes ago,

502
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:10,320
Speaker 2: I saw that, while she never mentioned me by name,

503
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:14,600
Speaker 2: she framed the situation as being shamed for loving people

504
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:17,679
Speaker 2: through food and holding our opinions of her food in

505
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:21,080
Speaker 2: high regard. A few people responded that it wasn't about

506
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:23,720
Speaker 2: her cooking, and someone did bring up what she said

507
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:26,959
Speaker 2: to me at the New Year's Eve party. She replied

508
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:31,639
Speaker 2: that she already apologized, and then someone else posted a

509
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:34,560
Speaker 2: screenshot of her text and explained why it wasn't really

510
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:35,359
Speaker 2: an apology.

511
00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:37,040
Speaker 1: Stop.

512
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:46,119
Speaker 4: Oh, this is about to get messy. Is about to

513
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:51,680
Speaker 4: get messy. Oh no, she's gonna be mad at you.

514
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:55,920
Speaker 4: Op yo, It's gonna be like you're spreading lies. Gonna

515
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:58,040
Speaker 4: be like, girl, this is your own text.

516
00:23:58,400 --> 00:23:59,120
Speaker 2: Yikes?

517
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:02,560
Speaker 4: What did Tammy? What did Tammy do? I need to

518
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:03,520
Speaker 4: know what Tammy did?

519
00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:07,560
Speaker 2: I love this unhinge group chat. Holy God. At that point,

520
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:13,200
Speaker 2: she tagged me directly and said something like okay, then sorry, Ope,

521
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:18,840
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, and immediately followed with how she feels like

522
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:23,080
Speaker 2: she's walking on eggshells and needs space, so she won't

523
00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:25,919
Speaker 2: be accompanying why at two events for a while unless

524
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:26,640
Speaker 2: it's a birthday.

525
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:31,000
Speaker 4: Thank goodness for that, and then watch you around anyway.

526
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,399
Speaker 1: Guys, I found Tammy. Actually I'm sorry.

527
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:35,960
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, where'd you go with your at that's

528
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:38,200
Speaker 2: just like a Tammy. We don't know how this friend

529
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:41,040
Speaker 2: group is, but that lady definitely goes to my grandmother's church.

530
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,119
Speaker 2: And yes, some of them are nice. Some of the

531
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:45,960
Speaker 2: girls with the bob haircuts are nice.

532
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:46,160
Speaker 1: Bro.

533
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:48,359
Speaker 2: If you made that brunette that looks like my aunt Tammy,

534
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,880
Speaker 2: no joke. Oh my gosh. The next birthday is coming

535
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:54,639
Speaker 2: up and it's one of my roommates. My roommate replied

536
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:57,040
Speaker 2: snarkily and said, that's okay, you don't have to come

537
00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:57,320
Speaker 2: for that.

538
00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:02,320
Speaker 4: Dang, your roommates are a ride or pass away for you.

539
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:07,280
Speaker 2: A few people laugh reacted to it and noticed Tammy's

540
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:10,439
Speaker 2: icon dropped down, so she definitely read it. She just

541
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:12,959
Speaker 2: hasn't responded yet. I love this trauma.

542
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:17,639
Speaker 4: Yeah, this is juicy, juicy, juicy drama keeps coming. Yeah.

543
00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:21,000
Speaker 4: I think you just kind of stay out of it

544
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:23,840
Speaker 4: as much as you can. I think that your friends

545
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:26,800
Speaker 4: will do your bit it. Yeah, they'll fight for you.

546
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:29,520
Speaker 4: So I don't think you even need to do anything.

547
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:31,320
Speaker 2: You don't have to lift a finger now, now this

548
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:33,680
Speaker 2: is amazing. Yeah, oh my gosh. And then this is

549
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:35,880
Speaker 2: what you gotta do. If she works at a restaurant,

550
00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:38,159
Speaker 2: you should do like, uh, YouTube video will be like

551
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:39,600
Speaker 2: food testing from this restaurant.

552
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:42,919
Speaker 4: It all sucks, It tastes like it was made with hate.

553
00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:46,119
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. And nope, he's not even doing anything.

554
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:51,560
Speaker 2: He's literally just living. At this point, I'm honestly exhausted.

555
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:54,600
Speaker 2: I don't want a public reckoning or turn a group

556
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:57,320
Speaker 2: chat into a courtroom. I just wanted to exist and

557
00:25:57,440 --> 00:26:00,720
Speaker 2: shared space without my boundaries being treated like a suggestion

558
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:05,000
Speaker 2: rather than respected space. I'm still keeping my distance and

559
00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:07,960
Speaker 2: leaning on the people who make me feel safe, like

560
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:11,919
Speaker 2: my roommates and Jake. I had my therapy appointment, and

561
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:15,000
Speaker 2: I feel good letting this go and just moving past it.

562
00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:18,879
Speaker 2: I'm less angry and more indifferent. I don't know where

563
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:21,840
Speaker 2: the soul lands, but I'm trying very hard to not

564
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:26,159
Speaker 2: take on responsibilities for emotions that aren't mine to manage.

565
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:30,480
Speaker 2: That's it. L's in the chat for Tammy, Jake that

566
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 2: does look like a good joy.

567
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:35,080
Speaker 3: That's how everyone smiles when they see Tammy getting called

568
00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:36,000
Speaker 3: out in the group chat.

569
00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:37,400
Speaker 4: Crazy.

570
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:41,399
Speaker 2: I would have given up my vintage MacBook to be

571
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:43,359
Speaker 2: a part of this friend group and experience that.

572
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,040
Speaker 4: I don't want to be a part of this friend group.

573
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:46,720
Speaker 4: I just want to be in the group chat. I

574
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:49,000
Speaker 4: want to be accidentally added to this group chat.

575
00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:50,520
Speaker 2: I want to be in this group.

576
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:51,640
Speaker 4: I'm good with my group.

577
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:55,120
Speaker 2: Anyways, that's the end of that story. We got another

578
00:26:55,119 --> 00:26:56,919
Speaker 2: one to cod You want to swaps places?

579
00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:59,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, Sam, here og host. We're gonna get back to

580
00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:02,440
Speaker 1: these stories. But here's three minutes fads from our sponsors.

581
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:06,320
Speaker 4: First, I refuse to support my friends coming out because

582
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:10,720
Speaker 4: she's having an affair. Oh no, and this comes directly

583
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:13,960
Speaker 4: from the r slagh okay storytime suppared it. Hi everyone,

584
00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:16,800
Speaker 4: I'm in a pickle. I'm very confused right now with

585
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:19,360
Speaker 4: a situation with one of my good friends who all

586
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:25,399
Speaker 4: call Sarah not real name, obviously obviously obs Sarah twenty

587
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:28,640
Speaker 4: seven female and I twenty four male Matt. About three

588
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 4: years ago at my older sister's wedding. She was not

589
00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:33,879
Speaker 4: that close to my sister, but was invited to the

590
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:36,679
Speaker 4: wedding anyhow, and me and her got to talking and

591
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:39,720
Speaker 4: became really close friends over the years. By the way,

592
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:42,159
Speaker 4: this comes from Papa Pablo, And if you want to

593
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:44,720
Speaker 4: smit your own stories, go to the Arslage. Okay, storytime

594
00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:45,199
Speaker 4: suppered it.

595
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:48,680
Speaker 1: I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota, H'm Riley, and we're.

596
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:50,280
Speaker 4: Here to give good advice. Goofy, but we don't have

597
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:52,000
Speaker 4: all the answers. We only know what do we do,

598
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:53,960
Speaker 4: So let us know what you would do in the comments,

599
00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:57,600
Speaker 4: and Op says she moved to the city I live

600
00:27:57,640 --> 00:27:59,919
Speaker 4: in here in the UK, and since she didn't have

601
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 4: many friends, I introduced her to my friend group and

602
00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:06,240
Speaker 4: she became really close friends with everyone in it. I'm

603
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:09,200
Speaker 4: attracted to the same gender, so most of my friends

604
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:11,720
Speaker 4: are queer as well, and we'd all joke about Sarah

605
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:15,719
Speaker 4: being our token straight friend for diversity. We're really solid

606
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:18,199
Speaker 4: group of friends and I genuinely love everyone in it,

607
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:21,600
Speaker 4: but that has changed over the last two weeks. So

608
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:25,720
Speaker 4: Sarah got married two years ago to her longtime boyfriend

609
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:28,960
Speaker 4: who all call Ben. Ben's actually a great guy who

610
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:31,399
Speaker 4: I've come to love and respect as much as I do.

611
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:32,600
Speaker 2: Sarah over the years.

612
00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:36,199
Speaker 4: Where I'm from was a small village, so being openly

613
00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:39,640
Speaker 4: queer my whole life since I was nine opened me

614
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:43,000
Speaker 4: up to a lot of discrimination over the years from

615
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:46,640
Speaker 4: straight men, specifically, so when I was meeting Ben for

616
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,800
Speaker 4: the first time, and from everything Sarah had told me

617
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:52,040
Speaker 4: about him, I was worried it was going to be

618
00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:56,000
Speaker 4: another straight man who discriminated me to my face just

619
00:28:56,080 --> 00:29:00,600
Speaker 4: for being myself. Thankfully, I was proven completely wrong. Ben's

620
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:07,240
Speaker 4: first words to me were, hey, Queen's.

621
00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:08,680
Speaker 1: Like, maybe he's just he just knows.

622
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:10,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's a secret agent.

623
00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:13,400
Speaker 4: And we got on like a house on fire. This

624
00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:16,400
Speaker 4: all leads me to why I'm posting for you all today.

625
00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:19,480
Speaker 4: Last week I was having dinner with Sarah while Ben

626
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:22,720
Speaker 4: was away visiting her family. Nothing unusual, as I tend

627
00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:24,760
Speaker 4: to keep her company when he's away as she gets

628
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:28,880
Speaker 4: very lonely. To my surprise, when I arrived at Sarah's flat,

629
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 4: there was a woman there who I call Bum because

630
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:37,120
Speaker 4: that's what she is. Yeah, Bum, thirty one female was

631
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:39,920
Speaker 4: stretched out of the couch like she owned the place

632
00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:42,480
Speaker 4: and didn't even get up to greet me when I

633
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:45,400
Speaker 4: came in, and waved to me without even so much

634
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:47,240
Speaker 4: looking in my general direction.

635
00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:48,400
Speaker 1: That's a cat.

636
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:50,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's not a person.

637
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:52,680
Speaker 1: That is an actual cat.

638
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:55,280
Speaker 4: I had never met Bum before and just thought Sarah

639
00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:57,760
Speaker 4: had made a new friend. Sarah and I talked in

640
00:29:57,800 --> 00:30:01,360
Speaker 4: her kitchen while Bum was sprawled across couch like a cadaver.

641
00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 4: We all sat down for some dinner, and I saw

642
00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:07,520
Speaker 4: Sarah and Bum sitting oddly close to each other. I

643
00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:10,440
Speaker 4: started to ask Bum about herself, but she didn't seem

644
00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:14,000
Speaker 4: interested in me whatsoever, so I moved back to talking

645
00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:16,520
Speaker 4: to Sarah. I dropped my fork at one point and

646
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:19,479
Speaker 4: knelt down to get it, and when I did, I

647
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:23,040
Speaker 4: saw Sarah and Bum quickly pulling their hands away from

648
00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 4: each other under the table, as if they'd been holding hands.

649
00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:30,080
Speaker 4: That's when Sarah told me. She said that she's a

650
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:33,480
Speaker 4: Sapphok and has known for a while, but didn't know

651
00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:35,680
Speaker 4: how to tell me or any of her friends, and

652
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:38,000
Speaker 4: wanted to tell me first, as I've been out for

653
00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:40,600
Speaker 4: the longest time out of all our friends. She then

654
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:42,600
Speaker 4: told me that her and Bum had been seeing each

655
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:45,080
Speaker 4: other for a year behind Ben's back, and that she

656
00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:47,040
Speaker 4: was going to wait a while and get her assets

657
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:49,760
Speaker 4: in order before breaking the news to Ben's so to speak,

658
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:55,800
Speaker 4: stop immediately a hole, immediately, this is no longer my friend.

659
00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:59,480
Speaker 4: What Yeah, No, I'm like, uh, I'm sorry. You're either

660
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:03,000
Speaker 4: gonna tell then right now or I'm gonna go tell Ben. Yeah.

661
00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:05,360
Speaker 1: That's the kind of thing that makes me like, should

662
00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:06,760
Speaker 1: anyone ever be married?

663
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:07,160
Speaker 4: Ever?

664
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:09,479
Speaker 2: You gotta have hope?

665
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:12,600
Speaker 3: Like if that I know, But like it's just that

666
00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:16,040
Speaker 3: exact thing where it's like, yeah, I married my.

667
00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:18,640
Speaker 1: Wife and we're in love and we're gonna build a life.

668
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:21,600
Speaker 1: Just kidding. She's been cheating on me with a Bum

669
00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:22,240
Speaker 1: for a year.

670
00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:24,680
Speaker 4: Then it's like, should you be in a relationship with anyone?

671
00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:26,760
Speaker 4: You have to you have to open your heart up

672
00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:28,280
Speaker 4: to get broken laship.

673
00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:31,960
Speaker 3: But she's literally talking I gotta get my assets in order,

674
00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:32,920
Speaker 3: Like what does that mean?

675
00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:34,920
Speaker 2: I don't know, this person just divorce.

676
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:38,280
Speaker 4: The whole time, Sarah and Bum we're smiling and giggling

677
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:40,760
Speaker 4: with each other and kissing, and I just felt disgusted

678
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:41,440
Speaker 4: by both of them.

679
00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,920
Speaker 1: This person's like, what do you mean you like, ladies,

680
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:47,520
Speaker 1: should you should support this one hundred percent?

681
00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:49,160
Speaker 4: Well, he's a man and just not like.

682
00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:52,120
Speaker 1: I thought he was a lady.

683
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:56,120
Speaker 4: Now, Yeah, They're like, oh, pe, you're queer. You should

684
00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:59,280
Speaker 4: be fine with me being a queer cheater, right.

685
00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:03,320
Speaker 1: You can't. You like your bits, I like my bits.

686
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:07,080
Speaker 3: We'll all like the bits that we like together, even

687
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:09,280
Speaker 3: if I'm married to the wrong bits.

688
00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:11,239
Speaker 4: Ben is a good friend to me and has been

689
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:14,320
Speaker 4: nothing short of an incredible husband to Sarah these last

690
00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:17,479
Speaker 4: few years, and has supported her so much with her

691
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:21,760
Speaker 4: parents passing away, losing friends too early, work issues, man

692
00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:24,760
Speaker 4: so much more. And to see her floating about her

693
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:28,720
Speaker 4: affair to my face like this made me so angry,

694
00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:31,760
Speaker 4: but I kept my cool. I was quiet the whole

695
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:34,440
Speaker 4: time they were telling me the details of their affair

696
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:38,240
Speaker 4: and how they loved each other. When Sarah eventually asked

697
00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:41,000
Speaker 4: if I was okay since I'm so quiet, I told

698
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:44,719
Speaker 4: her in a calm tone, I understand how hard it

699
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:47,520
Speaker 4: is coming out, and I know the pain and self

700
00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 4: doubt it creates, and a person having gone through it,

701
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 4: I said, I'm proud of her for coming out and

702
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:55,480
Speaker 4: finally being able to be herself completely, but that the

703
00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:58,560
Speaker 4: way that she's doing it is selfish and effing disgusting

704
00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:03,200
Speaker 4: and disrespectful to Ben. Yeah, call her out, good on EOP.

705
00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:07,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, just a little bit, just a little bit you Yeah, yeah,

706
00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:09,040
Speaker 3: that might just be a little bit out of order

707
00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:09,240
Speaker 3: of you.

708
00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:12,480
Speaker 4: There. She did not take it well. I don't care

709
00:33:12,560 --> 00:33:16,440
Speaker 4: about her. She sucks her. And Bum started screaming at

710
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:18,320
Speaker 4: me that they're so happy and in love and that

711
00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:21,400
Speaker 4: Ben could never love her like Bum does because he's.

712
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:22,720
Speaker 1: Got the wrong bits.

713
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:26,880
Speaker 4: I don't care. I don't care. Then break up with him,

714
00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:31,440
Speaker 4: you coward, truly. Eventually, after ten minutes of verbal beraatement

715
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:33,120
Speaker 4: from the two of them, I left the house with

716
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:36,920
Speaker 4: Sarah and tears and Bum comforting her saying it's okay, baby,

717
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:40,200
Speaker 4: he just doesn't get us what they After a night

718
00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:42,720
Speaker 4: of sleep and talking to my boyfriend about the situation

719
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:45,960
Speaker 4: of the dinner, I waited a few days until Ben

720
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:48,120
Speaker 4: got home and asked him around my place to tell

721
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:51,800
Speaker 4: him everything. Ben was heartbroken like I'd never seen before.

722
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:55,480
Speaker 4: He was completely broken and went through all the stages

723
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:59,160
Speaker 4: of grief over the next three hours I spent with him. Eventually,

724
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:01,640
Speaker 4: he accepted what I was saying and said thanks for

725
00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:04,160
Speaker 4: telling him, and he'll be getting a lawyer since he

726
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:06,840
Speaker 4: thought Sarah was cheating for a while, but figured he

727
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:09,360
Speaker 4: was being paranoid since he was cheated on in his

728
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:13,319
Speaker 4: last relationship he had just before meeting Sarah. Ben's now

729
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:15,759
Speaker 4: moved out and got himself a lawyer and found a

730
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:18,920
Speaker 4: mountain of proof for this affair Sarah was having. Sarah

731
00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:21,560
Speaker 4: called me screaming on the phone for outing her and

732
00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:24,160
Speaker 4: hurting Ben like this, and that she was going to

733
00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:26,160
Speaker 4: tell him on her own time, and that I don't

734
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:27,960
Speaker 4: support queer babalpic as of what I did.

735
00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:29,440
Speaker 1: Love it.

736
00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:33,799
Speaker 2: It's queer time out? Are you an active part participant

737
00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:35,040
Speaker 2: in this community?

738
00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:37,279
Speaker 4: Is an active gay man?

739
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:41,040
Speaker 3: I just like how this girl was trying to be

740
00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:42,760
Speaker 3: like you hurt Ben?

741
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:46,359
Speaker 2: No, I didn't cheat on him for a year.

742
00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:47,719
Speaker 1: That was you, stupid.

743
00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:50,319
Speaker 4: Yeah, I didn't cheat on him and laugh about it

744
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:51,839
Speaker 4: and giggle and be all happy about it.

745
00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:54,000
Speaker 1: That was you. Yeah. That's the other thing, just not

746
00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:56,239
Speaker 1: even a shred of remorse.

747
00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:59,359
Speaker 3: Remorse's full blode entitlement where it's like, well, yeah, it's

748
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:02,640
Speaker 3: like I don't even like him like that because a ladies,

749
00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:04,960
Speaker 3: it's like im for years too.

750
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:06,680
Speaker 1: I just didn't know how to Then why'd you marry?

751
00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:07,600
Speaker 4: Why are you with him?

752
00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:08,359
Speaker 5: You suck?

753
00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:12,160
Speaker 4: I told her I support queer people not cheating bums

754
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:15,440
Speaker 4: like her and bum and told her to get stuffed

755
00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:17,799
Speaker 4: and that we're done and blocked her number. Now I

756
00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:20,200
Speaker 4: feel like I did the right thing. I can understand

757
00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:22,359
Speaker 4: why it was so hard for Sarah to come out

758
00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:24,880
Speaker 4: as even though she has so many queer friends thanks

759
00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:27,520
Speaker 4: to me, there's still a lot of shame where we

760
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:30,680
Speaker 4: live when it comes to being queer. But her cheating

761
00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:33,319
Speaker 4: on her husband is just a deplorable way to go

762
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:36,239
Speaker 4: about this. And the fact she had no remorse or

763
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:38,880
Speaker 4: care for Ben for what she'd done had led me

764
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:41,359
Speaker 4: to do this and tell him a lot of our

765
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:43,759
Speaker 4: mutual friends are telling me I was wrong for doing

766
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:46,680
Speaker 4: that and outing Sarah to her husband and calling me

767
00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:48,520
Speaker 4: every slur under the sun for.

768
00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:50,799
Speaker 1: It, every slur under the sun.

769
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:54,520
Speaker 4: I'm sorry. Are they taking the homophobic slurs? Yeah, because

770
00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:58,879
Speaker 4: that's pretty hypocritical one. And also they were just saying, oh,

771
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:01,960
Speaker 4: you can't tell that's outing. You can't tell her husband

772
00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:06,359
Speaker 4: that she's she's cheating, that loop loopole, loophole, I can

773
00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:09,000
Speaker 4: cheat on you if I'm not out loophole.

774
00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:11,040
Speaker 1: Gay cheating is illegal to tattletale on.

775
00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:13,719
Speaker 2: We just passed it at the Senate yeah, they just

776
00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:14,160
Speaker 2: did that.

777
00:36:14,680 --> 00:36:18,280
Speaker 4: And using Sarah's victim script of not supporting queer people.

778
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:19,520
Speaker 4: Ohp is queer.

779
00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:22,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you can also not support absolutely but this

780
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:25,520
Speaker 1: is stupid. Yeah, no, it's just they.

781
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:28,920
Speaker 3: I don't know anybody who knows all of this information

782
00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:32,120
Speaker 3: and then goes against up bad friend.

783
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:34,560
Speaker 4: Nah, I want to be friends with them either, stupid.

784
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:38,200
Speaker 4: Sarah and Bum are apparently official on social media now,

785
00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:41,120
Speaker 4: and I've lost about two thirds of my friends because

786
00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:41,319
Speaker 4: of it.

787
00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:44,960
Speaker 1: I lost my friend from the tosso down as.

788
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:47,640
Speaker 4: They're siding with Sarah and Bum for coming out and

789
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:49,800
Speaker 4: totally ignoring the fact she's been having an affair.

790
00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:51,520
Speaker 2: Also, mind you, this is one of our own.

791
00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:54,279
Speaker 4: Oh my goodness, you're so right. Ope, you're so in

792
00:36:54,320 --> 00:36:55,440
Speaker 4: the right. And Sarah sucks.

793
00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:56,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, very bad.

794
00:36:56,800 --> 00:37:00,000
Speaker 4: This whole situation has me fed up and anxious beyond below,

795
00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:03,920
Speaker 4: with my depressions spiraling because I've lost so many people

796
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:06,200
Speaker 4: who I thought i'd always have to support me, and

797
00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:09,319
Speaker 4: I feel confused and lost. There is a little bit

798
00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:12,640
Speaker 4: left to this story, any final thought.

799
00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:15,320
Speaker 3: You're sad now, but the friends that you lost weren't

800
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:16,280
Speaker 3: friends worth having.

801
00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:17,959
Speaker 2: Yeah, because they suck.

802
00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:22,759
Speaker 4: Anyone who's like excuses this behavior is not your friend.

803
00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:24,040
Speaker 1: Not a good one.

804
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:27,799
Speaker 3: No, what are we talking about, like cheated on her

805
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:31,399
Speaker 3: husband for a year. It's just like blind dogma. It's

806
00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:33,759
Speaker 3: just like the people who are like, well, she's queer.

807
00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:34,800
Speaker 1: So she didn't do anything wrong.

808
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:36,160
Speaker 5: She's living true queer.

809
00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:40,719
Speaker 4: We absolve her any sin she cannot make.

810
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:41,760
Speaker 5: Does this makes sense?

811
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:44,040
Speaker 3: Just living your truth doesn't apply when you're like actively

812
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:46,560
Speaker 3: hurting others. If that's your truth, then you are going

813
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:50,280
Speaker 3: to be actively alone, put in jail or yeah, made

814
00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 3: to be a pariah.

815
00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:54,319
Speaker 4: So am I the a hole for outing Sarah and

816
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:58,479
Speaker 4: exposing her affair to her husband? No, I'd appreciate any

817
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:01,759
Speaker 4: comments about how I hand this situation, as I know

818
00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:04,359
Speaker 4: I could have done something different, but the fact I've

819
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:06,799
Speaker 4: lost so many friends is making me doubt myself. You

820
00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:09,279
Speaker 4: didn't do anything wrong. My boyfriend says I did the

821
00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:12,160
Speaker 4: right thing, and I love and respect his opinion. So

822
00:38:12,239 --> 00:38:14,480
Speaker 4: I've come to read it to see what other opinions

823
00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:16,160
Speaker 4: are about my actions.

824
00:38:16,239 --> 00:38:17,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, they lost you.

825
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:18,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, they lost you.

826
00:38:18,719 --> 00:38:20,960
Speaker 4: They lost someone who was a good person and.

827
00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:21,520
Speaker 5: A good friend.

828
00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:24,640
Speaker 4: Thanks for reading this. I know it's a long post

829
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:27,359
Speaker 4: and we'll read as many comments as I can much

830
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:29,960
Speaker 4: love to you all. Have a good day everyone, and

831
00:38:30,239 --> 00:38:32,880
Speaker 4: common one says not the ale I had a family

832
00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:36,160
Speaker 4: member come out after years of marriage. The first person

833
00:38:36,239 --> 00:38:39,040
Speaker 4: she told was her spouse because she knew he'd be hurt,

834
00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:42,880
Speaker 4: but she needed to be her authentic self. She completely

835
00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:47,280
Speaker 4: untangled that marriage before she started dating because she's a savog,

836
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:52,160
Speaker 4: not an inconsiderate pos Sarah obviously thought Jess, because they're

837
00:38:52,239 --> 00:38:55,440
Speaker 4: attracted to the same gender, you'd support her, But just

838
00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:58,120
Speaker 4: sharing the same community doesn't mean you agree with her

839
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:01,799
Speaker 4: choices to not only cheat on him in their shared home,

840
00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:05,719
Speaker 4: but to have so little respect that she's openly discussing

841
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:09,160
Speaker 4: how best to ef her husband over. That's just low

842
00:39:09,239 --> 00:39:12,759
Speaker 4: and quite frankly, the friends you've described seem to only

843
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:16,799
Speaker 4: be interested in someone's spicy identity, not their choices or

844
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:20,080
Speaker 4: how they conduct themselves. A good friend makes you a

845
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:24,320
Speaker 4: better person and questions your choices, not just bobblehead notts

846
00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:27,160
Speaker 4: comment to says the friends that you have lost are

847
00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:30,520
Speaker 4: not true friends and obviously would probably do the same

848
00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:33,600
Speaker 4: thing or have done what Sarah has in the past,

849
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:36,360
Speaker 4: which is why they sided with her with her cheating.

850
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:39,400
Speaker 4: The first person she should have told is Ben and

851
00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:42,880
Speaker 4: explain her side to him, not tell others about it first,

852
00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:46,080
Speaker 4: and then act like she's done nothing wrong. You're not

853
00:39:46,280 --> 00:39:50,759
Speaker 4: the ale for being supportive for Ben. She put you

854
00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:54,520
Speaker 4: in a very awkward situation when you were friends with both,

855
00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:56,960
Speaker 4: and she can't have expected you to not tell him,

856
00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:59,920
Speaker 4: as that would have made you the bad friend to him. Yes,

857
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:02,640
Speaker 4: app yeah, no, I don't know what she was expecting

858
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:04,480
Speaker 4: you to do there, And it's shocking to me that

859
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:07,520
Speaker 4: there are so many people that were willing to just

860
00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:09,480
Speaker 4: let that go and support her.

861
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:11,960
Speaker 1: So you're not blind loyalty.

862
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:15,800
Speaker 4: Raven Ron says, you can't be responsible for someone's stupid choices.

863
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:20,080
Speaker 4: Queer straight by or non binary play stupid games, win

864
00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:24,000
Speaker 4: stupid prizes, even if you're competing under the rainbow flag.

865
00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:25,040
Speaker 5: So true.

866
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:27,839
Speaker 4: But that's the end of that story, folks. And we've

867
00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:28,839
Speaker 4: got another one to come here.

868
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:29,760
Speaker 1: Yay.

869
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:32,440
Speaker 2: This was just for Dakota. I picked it out. We

870
00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:34,680
Speaker 2: ran a little short, but I'm like, this is gonna

871
00:40:34,719 --> 00:40:35,520
Speaker 2: be perfect for her to.

872
00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:36,319
Speaker 1: Go to NA.

873
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:40,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

874
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:41,279
Speaker 1: Hey's John Og host.

875
00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:42,799
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to the stories, but a quick

876
00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:44,400
Speaker 2: free minute break of ads from our sponsors.

877
00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:48,840
Speaker 3: My husband ignores me for video games and says I'm

878
00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:49,680
Speaker 3: being cold.

879
00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:52,720
Speaker 4: Well, then maybe you should stick to video games.

880
00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:59,080
Speaker 3: I'm concerned about my husband, Steve. In reality, all my

881
00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:01,279
Speaker 3: husband does is maybe go to the gym in the morning, work,

882
00:41:01,360 --> 00:41:04,000
Speaker 3: come home, watch TV on his phone, or play video games.

883
00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:06,040
Speaker 3: He just watches TV on his phone.

884
00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:07,040
Speaker 5: It's concerning.

885
00:41:07,719 --> 00:41:09,720
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna say anything because a lot of people

886
00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:12,200
Speaker 2: watch us on their phones. I do, but we watched

887
00:41:12,239 --> 00:41:12,839
Speaker 2: We're not TV.

888
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:14,520
Speaker 1: We are some people.

889
00:41:14,560 --> 00:41:18,160
Speaker 2: We are TV. Are we TV? To you guys? We're educational.

890
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:22,920
Speaker 3: The amount of gaming Steve does is constantly fluctuating. By

891
00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:25,520
Speaker 3: the way, this comes from user intermittent gamer ninety nine.

892
00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:27,040
Speaker 3: And if you want to smit your own stories, go

893
00:41:27,040 --> 00:41:30,560
Speaker 3: to the r slash Showcase storytime subreddit. I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia,

894
00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:34,200
Speaker 3: I'm a Raaleb, and we are here to collectively give

895
00:41:34,239 --> 00:41:34,800
Speaker 3: good advice.

896
00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:36,399
Speaker 5: Goofully, But we.

897
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:38,600
Speaker 3: Don't have all the answers. We only know what we know,

898
00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:42,160
Speaker 3: So let us know what you know in the comments.

899
00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:45,600
Speaker 3: OHP says sometimes he won't touch the PS five for

900
00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:49,120
Speaker 3: a week. Sometimes he'll manage to play thirty hours in

901
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:50,080
Speaker 3: less than a week.

902
00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:51,760
Speaker 2: That's a part time job.

903
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:54,399
Speaker 4: That literally is a part time job. Wow, that's more

904
00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:56,520
Speaker 4: than a part time job. Twelve hours is a part

905
00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:56,919
Speaker 4: time job.

906
00:41:57,040 --> 00:41:59,040
Speaker 1: Rookie numbers, baby, you gotta pump them numbers up. It's

907
00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:01,359
Speaker 1: you're a real gamer. That's only five hours a day.

908
00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:04,640
Speaker 1: I can't. I wish hours. I can't success six hours

909
00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:05,440
Speaker 1: a day, five days week.

910
00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:08,960
Speaker 4: I can't imagine playing six hours of video games a day.

911
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:13,280
Speaker 2: That's crazy to me, dude, Sometimes you just can't. It's crazy.

912
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:15,839
Speaker 3: Honestly, I haven't. I haven't been playing games like that,

913
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:17,719
Speaker 3: but for a.

914
00:42:17,719 --> 00:42:19,320
Speaker 1: Long time in my life, that's crazy.

915
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:22,520
Speaker 3: That was that was the number one goal, be able

916
00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:24,040
Speaker 3: to play games for twelve hours.

917
00:42:24,239 --> 00:42:25,120
Speaker 5: But not anymore.

918
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:28,560
Speaker 2: Apparently we are TV for people. Let's go hell yeah, dude,

919
00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:29,680
Speaker 2: sixty five inch TV.

920
00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:35,960
Speaker 3: Whoo hell yeah, dude, at breaking tvo iok at TV.

921
00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:40,600
Speaker 3: During those times of peak gaming, our child and I

922
00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:43,839
Speaker 3: won't hardly have any interaction with Steve and he won't

923
00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:47,200
Speaker 3: hardly help around the house outside of just basic picking up.

924
00:42:47,520 --> 00:42:50,600
Speaker 3: You cannot play thirty hours of games when you have

925
00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:53,759
Speaker 3: a child unless those thirty hours pay you.

926
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:56,520
Speaker 1: That's crazy, absolutely not.

927
00:42:56,760 --> 00:43:00,280
Speaker 3: Steve has no hobbies or friends outside a video game games.

928
00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:02,520
Speaker 3: He's admitted to me before that he really doesn't like

929
00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:04,680
Speaker 3: going to the gym. He just goes to get fit,

930
00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:07,919
Speaker 3: so not even that is enjoyable to him. I try

931
00:43:07,920 --> 00:43:10,080
Speaker 3: to constantly encourage Steve to get out of the house

932
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:13,720
Speaker 3: independently from me, try new things, or get together with friends.

933
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:15,880
Speaker 3: He will go out with me and our kid, but

934
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:20,120
Speaker 3: that usually just ends being something like running errands or groceries,

935
00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:22,560
Speaker 3: or detailing his truck at the car wash and then

936
00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:26,319
Speaker 3: coming home. I understand that sometimes that's what quality time

937
00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:28,759
Speaker 3: as a family looks like because of how busy life

938
00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:32,000
Speaker 3: can get, but he can't just simply go out just

939
00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:35,279
Speaker 3: to do something enjoyable. Occasionally we will go to the

940
00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:37,279
Speaker 3: gym and swim at the pool as a family, but

941
00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:39,000
Speaker 3: that's maybe once every other month.

942
00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:40,840
Speaker 1: All of his gaming friends are people.

943
00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:42,960
Speaker 3: He grew up with who live within a short driving distance,

944
00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:45,440
Speaker 3: but he claims he has no interest in hanging out

945
00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:48,760
Speaker 3: with them, that they're just gaming friends.

946
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:51,200
Speaker 4: It sounds like he's like, if this is new. It

947
00:43:51,239 --> 00:43:52,759
Speaker 4: sounds like he's kind of depressed.

948
00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:53,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, it kind of does.

949
00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:57,120
Speaker 3: Because Tate rolled up into the house yesterday with a

950
00:43:57,160 --> 00:43:58,640
Speaker 3: friend he made from.

951
00:43:58,520 --> 00:43:59,920
Speaker 2: Gaming, Yeah, from Fortnite.

952
00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:03,520
Speaker 1: So it's like the exact opposite of that.

953
00:44:03,880 --> 00:44:07,440
Speaker 2: I will say, during that time, Tate didn't really have

954
00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:09,800
Speaker 2: he like just moved to Tennessee. He had some friends,

955
00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:11,680
Speaker 2: but he was like really hanging out with my friends,

956
00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:15,239
Speaker 2: and he proactively went out and made a friend from

957
00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:18,120
Speaker 2: video gaming. Still, yeah, you're right, you know you're right? Yeah?

958
00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:20,319
Speaker 4: No, I mean yeah, POI well, and I think this

959
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:23,320
Speaker 4: guy seems like if like he has nothing that he enjoys,

960
00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:27,400
Speaker 4: and he doesn't even really enjoy gaming. That sounds like depression.

961
00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:29,839
Speaker 2: What do you guys think? Do your husbands through this?

962
00:44:30,160 --> 00:44:33,240
Speaker 2: Ladies that are got the ring on your left hand,

963
00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:35,359
Speaker 2: ring finger? I said that wrong.

964
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:38,440
Speaker 3: Key On plays games a ton, but he also lives

965
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:39,960
Speaker 3: an entire life.

966
00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:42,880
Speaker 5: You know, in between playing video games.

967
00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:43,720
Speaker 4: This is true.

968
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:47,080
Speaker 3: Additionally, Steve doesn't know how to pace himself when it

969
00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:49,600
Speaker 3: comes to his job. He's such a hard worker that

970
00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:51,840
Speaker 3: his boss has told him to go home and rest,

971
00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:54,759
Speaker 3: or to stop doing work from home on his days off.

972
00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:58,800
Speaker 2: On multiple occasions, I sometimes cats myself, typing up stuff

973
00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:01,160
Speaker 2: like at home. I'm like, I can't, I can't do this.

974
00:45:01,239 --> 00:45:03,480
Speaker 4: My boyfriend just got called in on the weekend for

975
00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:06,120
Speaker 4: his job, and I was like, I would not go

976
00:45:06,239 --> 00:45:09,160
Speaker 4: in if someone texted me and said yeah to maybe

977
00:45:09,239 --> 00:45:10,959
Speaker 4: for this job, but like for that job, I would

978
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:14,919
Speaker 4: not go in. No, but even for this job, would

979
00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:18,160
Speaker 4: It would be really hard to convince me. Unless you're like,

980
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:19,160
Speaker 4: it's only going to be an hour.

981
00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:21,719
Speaker 2: I'd be like, I did have to re record an

982
00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:23,440
Speaker 2: ad with Keana. I was going to ask you, but

983
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:25,320
Speaker 2: I didn't ask you because I knew you would not

984
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:26,239
Speaker 2: like doing that.

985
00:45:26,360 --> 00:45:27,840
Speaker 4: I wouldn't have liked it, but I probably would have

986
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:28,160
Speaker 4: done it.

987
00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:28,680
Speaker 2: Noted.

988
00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:31,080
Speaker 4: Maybe that's just me right now saying that.

989
00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:32,839
Speaker 2: Noted, Not, that's not.

990
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:34,719
Speaker 1: Me in this moment right now. It's not legally binding.

991
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:35,760
Speaker 4: Not legally binding.

992
00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:38,560
Speaker 2: You sound like Ryan was like, I'm going to marry Kelly.

993
00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:41,520
Speaker 2: What's your last name? Kaport Kelly to poor for the

994
00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:46,239
Speaker 2: rest of my life. That may change tomorrow or next week. Yeah,

995
00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:48,040
Speaker 2: asked me, Ask me again later.

996
00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:52,200
Speaker 3: His job is salaried, so his pay is not dependent

997
00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:54,120
Speaker 3: upon the amount of hours he puts in.

998
00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:55,279
Speaker 1: All of his work.

999
00:45:55,320 --> 00:45:59,000
Speaker 3: Colleagues are taking mental health days off, taking multiple vacations

1000
00:45:59,040 --> 00:46:01,840
Speaker 3: a year, taking it's ended days off for holidays, but

1001
00:46:02,040 --> 00:46:04,960
Speaker 3: he never does, and he judges those who do by

1002
00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:07,320
Speaker 3: insinuating they're lazy or irresponsible.

1003
00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:10,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, this guy needs like an outlet.

1004
00:46:10,239 --> 00:46:11,440
Speaker 2: That's not just gaming.

1005
00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:16,640
Speaker 3: It's concerning if he's not working or gaming or watching TV,

1006
00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:20,319
Speaker 3: he's pacing around the house and inspecting it, talking about

1007
00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:22,560
Speaker 3: the chores him and I need to get done, almost

1008
00:46:22,719 --> 00:46:26,640
Speaker 3: verbally scolding himself or not having something done. That's interesting

1009
00:46:26,680 --> 00:46:30,680
Speaker 3: to have that and the juxtaposition of playing games thirty

1010
00:46:30,719 --> 00:46:33,759
Speaker 3: hours a week, well, I mean, and it fluctuates, but like,

1011
00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:36,680
Speaker 3: does he see video games as like this like end

1012
00:46:36,719 --> 00:46:38,759
Speaker 3: goal where it's like, once everything else is taken care of,

1013
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:40,160
Speaker 3: he can do that video games?

1014
00:46:40,160 --> 00:46:41,279
Speaker 4: It does feel like that. Well.

1015
00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:44,640
Speaker 2: It also I feel like it depends on the games

1016
00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:47,319
Speaker 2: he's playing, because you always some games you keep things

1017
00:46:47,320 --> 00:46:49,360
Speaker 2: in motion and you're kind of doing a little job

1018
00:46:49,480 --> 00:46:51,839
Speaker 2: on the game, if that makes sense. Like I'm thinking

1019
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:54,560
Speaker 2: of like the Smurf game or SIMS. You gotta make

1020
00:46:54,560 --> 00:46:57,400
Speaker 2: sure everyone's using the bathroom, everyone's on rotation, everyone's doing that.

1021
00:46:57,840 --> 00:46:59,319
Speaker 2: I would like to see what kind of games he's playing,

1022
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:01,560
Speaker 2: because he always has to have something going or happen.

1023
00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:03,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's playing with his buddies, so it's probably you know,

1024
00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:06,600
Speaker 3: co op like Arc Raiders Battlefield.

1025
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:07,960
Speaker 2: Oh got it, got it.

1026
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:13,480
Speaker 3: I always associate Steve's obsession with cleanliness with childhood trauma,

1027
00:47:13,640 --> 00:47:15,640
Speaker 3: since he had a parent who was awful when the

1028
00:47:15,640 --> 00:47:18,200
Speaker 3: state of the house was not exactly how they expected

1029
00:47:18,239 --> 00:47:20,400
Speaker 3: it to be. But the longer we've been together, the

1030
00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:24,040
Speaker 3: better he's gotten. Lately, he's been fatigued and quick to anger.

1031
00:47:24,480 --> 00:47:27,440
Speaker 3: His anger has been pretty prevalent in everything he does.

1032
00:47:27,719 --> 00:47:30,280
Speaker 3: He's been much more irritable about the state of the house,

1033
00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:32,480
Speaker 3: even though I feel like I'm busting him up, but

1034
00:47:32,760 --> 00:47:35,319
Speaker 3: to have the entire house clean before he even gets home.

1035
00:47:35,800 --> 00:47:38,760
Speaker 3: I have a remote job and can get up and clean.

1036
00:47:38,560 --> 00:47:42,600
Speaker 1: Throughout the day. He's exploded on strangers out of road

1037
00:47:42,680 --> 00:47:44,759
Speaker 1: rage twice in the last month in front of our

1038
00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:47,880
Speaker 1: kid for silly mistakes, which I think can be dangerous

1039
00:47:47,920 --> 00:47:50,640
Speaker 1: behavior because of how threatening his appearance is. He is

1040
00:47:50,680 --> 00:47:51,840
Speaker 1: six four two forty.

1041
00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:52,799
Speaker 2: That's a big boy.

1042
00:47:53,160 --> 00:47:55,319
Speaker 3: I've known him since we were sixteen, and he has

1043
00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:58,960
Speaker 3: never behaved like that. Last weekend, I overheard him admitting

1044
00:47:59,120 --> 00:48:01,759
Speaker 3: to his gaming buddy, who is also his childhood best friend,

1045
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:03,680
Speaker 3: that he's been irritable lately.

1046
00:48:03,920 --> 00:48:04,919
Speaker 5: And he doesn't know why.

1047
00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:07,719
Speaker 4: He sounds like depression. Sounds like he's going through like

1048
00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:11,560
Speaker 4: a long depressive episode. Yeah, and I would say he

1049
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:12,680
Speaker 4: needs to go to therapy.

1050
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:15,040
Speaker 5: Tuma could be I mean, now.

1051
00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:17,839
Speaker 1: I think it's probably I think he's probably depressed. Time

1052
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:19,880
Speaker 1: for shimp therapy. You're depressed.

1053
00:48:20,280 --> 00:48:24,840
Speaker 3: This morning, he acted downright depressed when getting ready for work.

1054
00:48:25,160 --> 00:48:27,600
Speaker 3: It seemed like it was almost impossible for him to leave.

1055
00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:30,239
Speaker 3: He called me right after he left, and it was

1056
00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:32,799
Speaker 3: like he could barely speak. He said he needed a

1057
00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:36,760
Speaker 3: vacation or something, that he's tired and doesn't understand why.

1058
00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:39,439
Speaker 3: I was honest and explained to him that I don't

1059
00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:42,000
Speaker 3: think he takes time to do things that actually fulfill him.

1060
00:48:42,360 --> 00:48:45,160
Speaker 3: That he over prioritizes his job in how our house looks,

1061
00:48:45,200 --> 00:48:47,960
Speaker 3: So he's probably feeling burnt out and empty. He needs

1062
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:49,960
Speaker 3: to have something that fills his cup so he doesn't

1063
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:54,320
Speaker 3: feel like he's barely surviving between vacations, hiking, camping, concerts,

1064
00:48:54,680 --> 00:48:55,640
Speaker 3: spook housing.

1065
00:48:56,120 --> 00:48:59,799
Speaker 1: What spook houseans to know what that means, probably like

1066
00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:01,080
Speaker 1: just haunted house.

1067
00:49:01,360 --> 00:49:01,960
Speaker 5: I don't know.

1068
00:49:02,120 --> 00:49:04,680
Speaker 3: Do you guys just live in a spooky place that's

1069
00:49:04,719 --> 00:49:05,359
Speaker 3: haunted house?

1070
00:49:05,360 --> 00:49:06,160
Speaker 1: Season all the time.

1071
00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:10,680
Speaker 2: Spook Housing in California features top rated haunted houses attractions

1072
00:49:10,719 --> 00:49:11,799
Speaker 2: for twenty twenty five.

1073
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:16,000
Speaker 3: Okay cool, okay, baking and cooking and dancing, or family

1074
00:49:16,040 --> 00:49:20,320
Speaker 3: events just like local fairs, carnivals, my kids' school events,

1075
00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:24,160
Speaker 3: coaching kids sports, local basketball leagues because he loves basketball

1076
00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:25,760
Speaker 3: and is amazing at it.

1077
00:49:25,840 --> 00:49:28,120
Speaker 2: Six four, dude, he kind of sounds like me.

1078
00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:31,200
Speaker 1: Sounds like you. Dude, sounds like you, But smaller is

1079
00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:32,839
Speaker 1: this guy. You're six'.

1080
00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:34,719
Speaker 2: Eight he works all the time to.

1081
00:49:34,760 --> 00:49:35,560
Speaker 1: Eighty he's.

1082
00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:38,120
Speaker 2: Game. Dude this, wow, yeah this is. Me, no that's my.

1083
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:40,120
Speaker 2: Height that's that's how how BIG i am and how

1084
00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:43,239
Speaker 2: MUCH i? Wait, YEAH i am this. GUY i am

1085
00:49:43,320 --> 00:49:44,040
Speaker 2: exactly this.

1086
00:49:44,120 --> 00:49:46,320
Speaker 1: Guy he could be getting back in a.

1087
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:49,600
Speaker 3: Fashion the dude cares a lot about his, appearance, hair, makeup,

1088
00:49:49,680 --> 00:49:53,839
Speaker 3: nails individual, therapy couples, therapy going out with, friends even

1089
00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:57,080
Speaker 3: gaming together are all activities That i've encouraged him to

1090
00:49:57,120 --> 00:50:00,279
Speaker 3: do with me or. Independently in the last. Year he's

1091
00:50:00,320 --> 00:50:02,120
Speaker 3: either done it with me for a very short, time

1092
00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:04,719
Speaker 3: then gave up or just completely rejected, me AND i

1093
00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:07,680
Speaker 3: ended up doing these activities without him while he just

1094
00:50:07,719 --> 00:50:10,400
Speaker 3: sat at home and. GAMED i plan on trying to

1095
00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:13,280
Speaker 3: be better about emotionally connecting with him or spending quality

1096
00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:16,320
Speaker 3: time with. HIM i Believe Spicy step life is pretty

1097
00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:18,920
Speaker 3: satisfactory on both. Ends we are both very comfortable and

1098
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:22,040
Speaker 3: open with each. Other we love the idea of experimenting with.

1099
00:50:22,320 --> 00:50:24,920
Speaker 5: New, ideas do it several times a.

1100
00:50:24,960 --> 00:50:27,480
Speaker 3: WEEK a few weekends, ago he blew up on me

1101
00:50:27,600 --> 00:50:29,520
Speaker 3: and told me THAT i don't care about him or his.

1102
00:50:29,560 --> 00:50:31,879
Speaker 3: Feelings AFTER i spent a weekend at a family event

1103
00:50:31,960 --> 00:50:32,800
Speaker 3: and went to a spoon.

1104
00:50:32,880 --> 00:50:34,680
Speaker 1: House what are you guys?

1105
00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:38,680
Speaker 3: Doing spoon, house spool, housing spoon house or spook?

1106
00:50:38,719 --> 00:50:40,400
Speaker 1: House what is we got a spoon?

1107
00:50:40,400 --> 00:50:44,080
Speaker 3: House google search Spoonhouse house of spoons is a.

1108
00:50:44,360 --> 00:50:45,920
Speaker 1: Restaurant, yeah he just.

1109
00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:48,680
Speaker 3: Needs therapy, dog because he's now putting this on you

1110
00:50:48,719 --> 00:50:49,279
Speaker 3: like you don't care.

1111
00:50:49,360 --> 00:50:50,520
Speaker 1: Enough it's, like, dude of COURSE i.

1112
00:50:50,560 --> 00:50:53,000
Speaker 3: Do i'm literally out here trying to help you always

1113
00:50:53,040 --> 00:50:55,440
Speaker 3: and you're just not reciprocating it at.

1114
00:50:55,440 --> 00:50:59,440
Speaker 1: All for, restaurants spoon House korean food is.

1115
00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:01,640
Speaker 4: A type place right around the corner from, us so.

1116
00:51:01,800 --> 00:51:03,759
Speaker 4: Good Apparently keon goes there all the.

1117
00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:05,279
Speaker 1: Time keon always knows the best.

1118
00:51:05,280 --> 00:51:07,239
Speaker 5: Spot, yeah But sam took me. THERE i was really.

1119
00:51:07,280 --> 00:51:07,920
Speaker 2: Yummy oh.

1120
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:11,400
Speaker 3: Good, ANYWAY i went to this mysterious spoon house a spook,

1121
00:51:11,440 --> 00:51:14,160
Speaker 3: house not sure which one with my younger. Brother my

1122
00:51:14,239 --> 00:51:17,720
Speaker 3: husband was invited to both activities but. Denied he, said

1123
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:20,279
Speaker 3: you just do whatever you want and don't really care

1124
00:51:20,280 --> 00:51:22,719
Speaker 3: If i'm involved 're. Not but it honestly feels like

1125
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:25,600
Speaker 3: he's angry BECAUSE i don't sit at home with him all,

1126
00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:26,960
Speaker 3: weekend every single.

1127
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:27,360
Speaker 5: Weekend.

1128
00:51:27,440 --> 00:51:30,040
Speaker 4: Yeah the issue here is that this man is depressed

1129
00:51:30,560 --> 00:51:32,759
Speaker 4: and he doesn't know what to do or why he

1130
00:51:32,840 --> 00:51:35,480
Speaker 4: feels like, this and so he's putting all this anger

1131
00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:37,480
Speaker 4: and resentment that he's feeling towards himself on.

1132
00:51:37,520 --> 00:51:42,480
Speaker 1: You M he is good at there exactly spoon. Spoone

1133
00:51:42,760 --> 00:51:44,160
Speaker 1: it feels like all.

1134
00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:46,160
Speaker 3: He wants me to do is cook and clean for

1135
00:51:46,239 --> 00:51:48,840
Speaker 3: him while he. Games it feels like he is the

1136
00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:51,399
Speaker 3: one that doesn't care to connect with. Me my kid

1137
00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:53,600
Speaker 3: AND i stayed home last weekend and he ended up

1138
00:51:53,640 --> 00:51:57,239
Speaker 3: spending almost ten hours gaming Between saturday And, sunday and

1139
00:51:57,360 --> 00:51:59,719
Speaker 3: all of those hours were played right in the middle

1140
00:51:59,760 --> 00:52:02,200
Speaker 3: of The he didn't get off UNTIL i shared with

1141
00:52:02,280 --> 00:52:04,680
Speaker 3: him THAT i was very disappointed since we had discussed

1142
00:52:04,680 --> 00:52:08,400
Speaker 3: me intentionally clearing my schedule to spend quality time with.

1143
00:52:08,480 --> 00:52:10,920
Speaker 3: HIM i honestly kind of gave up trying to connect

1144
00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:14,480
Speaker 3: recently because he would repeatedly reject me or not follow

1145
00:52:14,520 --> 00:52:17,560
Speaker 3: through with plans we agreed, upon and he constantly refuses

1146
00:52:17,600 --> 00:52:19,799
Speaker 3: to go out with family and. Friends SO i just

1147
00:52:19,880 --> 00:52:22,719
Speaker 3: started going out without. Him Now i'm starting to think

1148
00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:24,920
Speaker 3: all of these behaviors are less of him not caring

1149
00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:26,399
Speaker 3: and more of some underlying mental health.

1150
00:52:26,480 --> 00:52:31,600
Speaker 4: Issue, yes, yes he's probably exactly that he may have

1151
00:52:31,640 --> 00:52:33,000
Speaker 4: been dealing with since we.

1152
00:52:33,040 --> 00:52:35,560
Speaker 3: Met he hates the idea of, therapy AND i think

1153
00:52:35,560 --> 00:52:38,120
Speaker 3: the idea of antidepressants is not even something he would

1154
00:52:38,120 --> 00:52:40,480
Speaker 3: be willing to discuss because of how much medication has

1155
00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:41,680
Speaker 3: been demonized in his.

1156
00:52:41,719 --> 00:52:44,080
Speaker 2: Family, yeah you have to have a really.

1157
00:52:45,440 --> 00:52:50,239
Speaker 4: Serious conversation about saying you need, therapy you need like

1158
00:52:50,280 --> 00:52:54,640
Speaker 4: a doctor to help, you because it's not your. FAULT i,

1159
00:52:54,680 --> 00:52:57,239
Speaker 4: think at least it's not your fault that you are

1160
00:52:57,480 --> 00:53:01,799
Speaker 4: experiencing these. Feelings you, can't you, know help yourself out

1161
00:53:01,800 --> 00:53:02,839
Speaker 4: of this on your.

1162
00:53:02,840 --> 00:53:05,480
Speaker 2: Own it's shocking because he works out and he only

1163
00:53:05,480 --> 00:53:08,040
Speaker 2: does it to say fit. That, yeah BECAUSE i was

1164
00:53:08,120 --> 00:53:10,839
Speaker 2: like in a kind of like bad. SPOT i worked.

1165
00:53:10,880 --> 00:53:13,080
Speaker 2: Out those endorphins helped me get out of that state of.

1166
00:53:13,080 --> 00:53:16,440
Speaker 2: Mind it does sound like a chemical imbalance.

1167
00:53:16,239 --> 00:53:18,239
Speaker 4: He needs to, find, like, yeah he needs to find a,

1168
00:53:18,239 --> 00:53:20,439
Speaker 4: therapist and then he needs to find like an type

1169
00:53:20,440 --> 00:53:22,040
Speaker 4: of exercise that he actually, enjoys.

1170
00:53:22,360 --> 00:53:26,279
Speaker 3: Pickleball it's like if you broke your arm and you were, like,

1171
00:53:26,640 --> 00:53:27,759
Speaker 3: WELL i don't want to go to a. DOCTOR i

1172
00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:29,480
Speaker 3: don't need to go to a. Doctor is, fine it's

1173
00:53:29,480 --> 00:53:32,040
Speaker 3: canna heal. You HE'LL i just won't move. It it's, like,

1174
00:53:32,080 --> 00:53:32,719
Speaker 3: yeah but you need a.

1175
00:53:32,760 --> 00:53:33,919
Speaker 1: Cast it's, like, NO i. Don't that's.

1176
00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:36,640
Speaker 3: Artificial that's just like that's not that's not. Real that's

1177
00:53:36,680 --> 00:53:38,839
Speaker 3: not my that's not really my. Body it's like, yeah

1178
00:53:38,840 --> 00:53:40,120
Speaker 3: but it's like you need it so your.

1179
00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:42,560
Speaker 1: Arm heels, right you need. It it's like the same.

1180
00:53:42,600 --> 00:53:44,960
Speaker 1: Thing mm, hmm it's really the same.

1181
00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:47,680
Speaker 3: THING i plan on having a discussion with him to

1182
00:53:47,800 --> 00:53:50,040
Speaker 3: express my worry for, him BUT i feel like he

1183
00:53:50,080 --> 00:53:52,960
Speaker 3: shuts down and gets. Defensive IF i ever mentioned spending

1184
00:53:52,960 --> 00:53:55,200
Speaker 3: too much time on his phone or his prey. STECHEON

1185
00:53:55,600 --> 00:53:58,600
Speaker 3: i feel Like i've been battling with my husband's tech

1186
00:53:58,719 --> 00:54:01,919
Speaker 3: use pretty much the end tirety of our. Marriage it's

1187
00:54:02,120 --> 00:54:05,120
Speaker 3: just jumped back and forth from different. Devices does anybody

1188
00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:06,920
Speaker 3: have any ideas on HOW i can approach?

1189
00:54:07,040 --> 00:54:10,280
Speaker 1: This and that is the end of therapy of bad story?

1190
00:54:10,360 --> 00:54:13,480
Speaker 4: Therapy, Yeah i'm actually, says technically you can do virtual

1191
00:54:13,520 --> 00:54:14,960
Speaker 4: therapy on your, phone so you don't really have to

1192
00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:15,839
Speaker 4: leave the house until you're.

1193
00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:16,640
Speaker 2: Ready he's already on.

1194
00:54:16,680 --> 00:54:17,520
Speaker 4: It let's just do.

1195
00:54:17,600 --> 00:54:19,160
Speaker 1: That, yeah it's like DIFFERENT.

1196
00:54:19,200 --> 00:54:22,239
Speaker 3: TV i think it's all in the way that it's

1197
00:54:22,280 --> 00:54:24,440
Speaker 3: packaged and presented to. Him you, know if he gets real,

1198
00:54:24,480 --> 00:54:27,799
Speaker 3: defensive it's, like this isn't really About, Like i'm not

1199
00:54:27,840 --> 00:54:30,880
Speaker 3: trying to shame, You i'm not trying to wrong.

1200
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:34,080
Speaker 1: You i'm just trying to tell you that you, know

1201
00:54:34,640 --> 00:54:34,960
Speaker 1: you need.

1202
00:54:35,040 --> 00:54:39,279
Speaker 3: Help the state you're in is unsustainable and you don't

1203
00:54:39,360 --> 00:54:42,759
Speaker 3: need to just white knuckle it and try to fix.

1204
00:54:42,800 --> 00:54:45,719
Speaker 5: It you can actually get help for. It.

1205
00:54:45,840 --> 00:54:49,600
Speaker 4: Absolutely rene, says this is SCREAMING adhd burnout to, Me

1206
00:54:49,719 --> 00:54:52,279
Speaker 4: hoby went through something very very, similar and you, KNOW

1207
00:54:52,680 --> 00:54:54,160
Speaker 4: i think we just need to get a doctor and

1208
00:54:54,200 --> 00:54:56,640
Speaker 4: a therapist involved and make sure it's not something. Worse

1209
00:54:57,400 --> 00:54:59,600
Speaker 4: it might be something easily. Fixable it just like might

1210
00:54:59,640 --> 00:55:00,719
Speaker 4: be met, medication.

1211
00:55:00,719 --> 00:55:02,840
Speaker 2: Therapy your. DIVORCE i don't think it's divorce, Shit, No.

1212
00:55:03,480 --> 00:55:05,160
Speaker 4: YEAH i THINK i think we just need to really

1213
00:55:05,320 --> 00:55:07,160
Speaker 4: push him to get some.

1214
00:55:07,280 --> 00:55:09,719
Speaker 2: Help, yeah adhd adhd. Burnout.

1215
00:55:10,080 --> 00:55:12,440
Speaker 3: YEAH i thing definitely could be the way that he's

1216
00:55:12,560 --> 00:55:15,279
Speaker 3: like so locked into the games and his, phone and

1217
00:55:15,320 --> 00:55:17,840
Speaker 3: also LIKE i don't, know, clearly there's that like the

1218
00:55:17,920 --> 00:55:19,279
Speaker 3: childhood thing of keeping the house.

1219
00:55:19,320 --> 00:55:23,799
Speaker 2: Clean, yeah it feels, like, yeah it's still for long

1220
00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:24,839
Speaker 2: can enjoy? Live?

1221
00:55:25,360 --> 00:55:25,560
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1222
00:55:25,760 --> 00:55:29,640
Speaker 2: ALWAYS i feel like always is like proactively pursuing or

1223
00:55:29,680 --> 00:55:33,160
Speaker 2: like making sure things are. Rolling that's. Tough that's, tough sure.

1224
00:55:33,320 --> 00:55:36,319
Speaker 4: Is but that's the end of the. Episode so if

1225
00:55:36,360 --> 00:55:38,759
Speaker 4: you love, us make sure to. Subscribe we love, you

1226
00:55:39,280 --> 00:55:40,520
Speaker 4: and you are