1 00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:15,080 Speaker 1: Misspelling with Tori Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast. It's the weekend, 2 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:18,240 Speaker 1: and I was like, you know what, let's do something 3 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:24,360 Speaker 1: fun and light and just easy. So I decide to 4 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:27,680 Speaker 1: tackle all those comments you guys send me in questions 5 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:34,360 Speaker 1: because they're all so nice. But you know me, I'm 6 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:38,040 Speaker 1: an open book. I'm an open tea, so you can 7 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:41,080 Speaker 1: ask me anything. You can say anything, pretty thick skin. 8 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:44,040 Speaker 1: I know someone's already common at my elbow skins real bad. 9 00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:49,199 Speaker 1: That's the only part that's thin, I guess. But I 10 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:52,000 Speaker 1: do read the comments, so I look at me. I'm 11 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:56,120 Speaker 1: human and I can feel them, but I can also 12 00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:59,400 Speaker 1: have a good sense of humor about them. So I 13 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:03,200 Speaker 1: decided to read some of my favorites today, comments, questions 14 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,640 Speaker 1: and take a stab at them. A lot of you 15 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:08,160 Speaker 1: have asked, so I'm going to bring up this one 16 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:14,160 Speaker 1: why in my podcast misspelling My photo for like, my 17 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:20,520 Speaker 1: album cover is naked, and here's the answer. So my 18 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:24,120 Speaker 1: shoot was scheduled for the day and with iHeart and 19 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:27,000 Speaker 1: I was going to do it, and I'm kind of 20 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:31,440 Speaker 1: a last minute, improvisational type of girl. So if you 21 00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:33,680 Speaker 1: give me too long to think about things, which is 22 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:37,840 Speaker 1: probably why I'm always late. I will overthink it. Then 23 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:40,120 Speaker 1: I'll have to restart and come up with different ideas. 24 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,040 Speaker 1: It's like, it's like that thing when you buy a 25 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:46,119 Speaker 1: dress for an event, like a month in advance. I'm 26 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:48,320 Speaker 1: the type that if I do that the night before 27 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:51,880 Speaker 1: or just kidding, the day of, I'm like, I hate it, 28 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:54,400 Speaker 1: I don't like it, and I have to pick something else. 29 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:59,360 Speaker 1: So I decided, Okay, I'm gonna grab wardrobe, I'm gonna 30 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,400 Speaker 1: put it all together, I'm going to go in, i'm 31 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:05,520 Speaker 1: gonna have a vibe. And then i have five kids 32 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:09,160 Speaker 1: and a lot going on, and I'm just making excuses 33 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:13,160 Speaker 1: I didn't do my homework. So I decided that morning 34 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,600 Speaker 1: I woke up with it an epiphany and I was like, 35 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,000 Speaker 1: oh my gosh. And I woke up and I was like, 36 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:20,800 Speaker 1: I'm gonna do the shoot naked. And I mean, some 37 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:23,080 Speaker 1: may say it was just because I hadn't done the 38 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:25,720 Speaker 1: research and gone out and gotten wardrobe. You may say that, 39 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:29,400 Speaker 1: but also I was like, Okay, this is the real me. 40 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:32,720 Speaker 1: I feel like people have seen quote unquote, I'm doing 41 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:36,000 Speaker 1: air quotes right now. Me, my entire career, my whole 42 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:41,000 Speaker 1: life on screen, off screen, and I was like, what 43 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:44,080 Speaker 1: have they never seen before? Though, like because I've in 44 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:45,840 Speaker 1: my books and everything, I kind of tell it like 45 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:48,000 Speaker 1: it is, and I'm like, okay, I want to give 46 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:50,840 Speaker 1: like the next level. And I was like, oh, well, 47 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:53,840 Speaker 1: you know, if they've seen everything about me, they've never 48 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,280 Speaker 1: seen this. So I decided to be like, Okay, what's 49 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:59,680 Speaker 1: the most raw you could be? And that's naked and 50 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,959 Speaker 1: that's a really scary thing. So I decided. I walked 51 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,400 Speaker 1: into the makeup trailer and my makeup artists, I had 52 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:07,040 Speaker 1: done no prep with her about it. I was like, 53 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:09,080 Speaker 1: by the way, I'm gonna do the shoot naked today. 54 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:12,239 Speaker 1: She was like okay, and she's like, well, you didn't 55 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:13,880 Speaker 1: get a spray tan. I was like, I know because 56 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:15,320 Speaker 1: I woke up this morning decided I'm gonna do the 57 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:20,720 Speaker 1: shot naked. So Ruthan we were like, oh my gosh, 58 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:22,880 Speaker 1: we don't have the proper stuff. So ruth Anne ran 59 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:26,640 Speaker 1: out to CVS right and got Sally Hanson spray for 60 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:30,280 Speaker 1: your legs. Like so it's like my favorite one of 61 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:34,120 Speaker 1: my favorite movies, Death Becomes Her were Goldie Han and 62 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:37,600 Speaker 1: Meryl Streep and they die and then they come back 63 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:39,720 Speaker 1: and they live forever. If you know, you know, anyway, 64 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:41,640 Speaker 1: if you don't, you should see it. It's really good. 65 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:44,960 Speaker 1: And they have to get touch ups the spray paint 66 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:49,040 Speaker 1: on their bodies. Anyway, we literally head to toe spray 67 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 1: painted my body with multiple cans of Sally Hanson leg 68 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:59,000 Speaker 1: spray and colored me in and I borrowed somebody's shirt, 69 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:02,240 Speaker 1: walked a set and and told our photographers. I was like, 70 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:05,840 Speaker 1: I've decided to do this naked. And then I literally 71 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:08,520 Speaker 1: which I won't do now, gave them a list of 72 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:12,680 Speaker 1: my deepest insecurities about my body and everything. I was like, 73 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:15,400 Speaker 1: just so you know, I have this, this, this and this, 74 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:18,000 Speaker 1: and then I was like okay, and then I dropped 75 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:22,400 Speaker 1: the flannel and sat down and I thought the shoot 76 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:27,359 Speaker 1: turned out really well. And yeah, I mean it was 77 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:30,479 Speaker 1: my time to shine. Let it all shine before it 78 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:32,360 Speaker 1: goes to not getting younger. 79 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:36,040 Speaker 2: So there's that, okay, you know, Toy telling there's such 80 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:38,279 Speaker 2: a thing as TMI. No one needs to know and 81 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,279 Speaker 2: no one cares about your pooping situation. 82 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:44,159 Speaker 1: And a lot of people have said this that I 83 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:47,640 Speaker 1: always say, I'm TMI slash TMT too much. Toy said, 84 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:50,480 Speaker 1: no one ever, And people are saying no, no, there's 85 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:52,320 Speaker 1: a little too much toy. We don't need to know 86 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:57,320 Speaker 1: about your pooping situation. But I feel like everybody poops, right, 87 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:01,840 Speaker 1: there's quite literally a book called Everybody Poops. I love 88 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:06,640 Speaker 1: that book. And yeah, so it's natural, it's part of life, 89 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:09,360 Speaker 1: and so sorry if I talk about it, but it's 90 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:13,000 Speaker 1: something that occurs, oh in a good week, like every day. 91 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:15,120 Speaker 1: But really in my life it's like not every day. 92 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:18,320 Speaker 1: It's it's really upsetting, but on a good day every day. 93 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:19,800 Speaker 1: So yeah, I talk about it here, I. 94 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:23,080 Speaker 2: Am Does she had mental problems? Honest question? 95 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,360 Speaker 1: Nothing diagnosed? How about that? 96 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:27,920 Speaker 2: Eat a cheeseburger? Already look malnourished? 97 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:33,120 Speaker 1: Thanks now, I want a cheeseburger. So I actually do 98 00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:37,880 Speaker 1: eat cheeseburgers quite frequently. Yeah. My favorite is the two 99 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:43,359 Speaker 1: cheeseburger combo at McDonald's. Extra pickles, extra onions, so good 100 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:47,400 Speaker 1: with a large diet, Doctor Pepper. I don't love the fries, though, 101 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:50,080 Speaker 1: so maybe I'll eat a few more of those next time. 102 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:50,680 Speaker 1: Thank you. 103 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:52,680 Speaker 2: Do you still have your pet pig? 104 00:05:53,320 --> 00:06:00,560 Speaker 1: Which landlord is listening? I'm just kidding. So Wilbur is 105 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:05,320 Speaker 1: currently with staying at a friend's luxurious farm. It's like 106 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:07,799 Speaker 1: a really nice thing right now because we have moved 107 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:10,680 Speaker 1: houses and everything because we had mold last year and 108 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:14,200 Speaker 1: we are not in a current situation to house him. Literally, 109 00:06:14,279 --> 00:06:17,960 Speaker 1: he's like huge now. He kept growing and growing and growing. 110 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:23,880 Speaker 1: It's wild pigs just keep growing. So yeah, but we 111 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:27,359 Speaker 1: visit him and we see him, and he's gonna be 112 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:30,200 Speaker 1: really bummed. I'm like, hey, buddy, time to come back. 113 00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:32,640 Speaker 1: When we moved to a place that has like an area. 114 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:34,640 Speaker 1: Because he's living the life. 115 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:37,520 Speaker 2: It's definitely time to hang up the cargo pants and 116 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:38,440 Speaker 2: the crop tops. 117 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:41,960 Speaker 1: Hang them up. I would never It's never been my thing. 118 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:44,719 Speaker 1: I'm not organized. Oh I would love a good closet. 119 00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:48,400 Speaker 1: And I always start with good intentions, like those velvet hangers, 120 00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:50,840 Speaker 1: like the really nice ones because no wire hangers ever. 121 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:53,200 Speaker 1: I took note and I fill them up and then 122 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:55,479 Speaker 1: I'm like okay, and then I'm gonna beautify it and 123 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:57,320 Speaker 1: I'm going to go from like, you know, the rainbow 124 00:06:57,320 --> 00:07:01,679 Speaker 1: colors and all my white creams to neutrals to Yeah, 125 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:04,320 Speaker 1: that doesn't work out because then when I'm like I 126 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:06,520 Speaker 1: have to get dressed for something, I don't have wardrobe. 127 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:09,840 Speaker 1: Not going to this shut naked. I just like ramsack. 128 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:13,360 Speaker 1: My like, is it ramsack or ransack? It's ramsack, isn't 129 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:18,440 Speaker 1: it ramsack? It's a funny word. I tear across my closet. 130 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:21,960 Speaker 1: Everything goes on the ground. And then that wasn't my question? 131 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:23,600 Speaker 2: Was it? Never? 132 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:25,960 Speaker 1: Because you know what, I feel like I can dress 133 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:29,000 Speaker 1: however I want. I feel like I dress whatever inspires 134 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:32,040 Speaker 1: me in the moment. And uh, if you know me, 135 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:34,560 Speaker 1: you know I love fashion and I tend to kind 136 00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:38,040 Speaker 1: of vary my looks throughout the years. If you came 137 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:42,200 Speaker 1: to my closet, you can definitely tell the phase I'm 138 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:46,400 Speaker 1: in by how my closet is dishoveled on the floor, 139 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,800 Speaker 1: Like if it's all bright, you know, I'm like, that's 140 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:51,400 Speaker 1: my situation if it's all dark. So it's like, Okay, 141 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:53,920 Speaker 1: she's going through her emo face. No, my kids just 142 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:55,480 Speaker 1: say I'm going through my emo phase? Or is that 143 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:59,239 Speaker 1: a thing I've always wanted? An emo? Okay, what's next? 144 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:01,560 Speaker 2: Did you have breath when you weren't caring for your 145 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:02,520 Speaker 2: teeth for so long? 146 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:06,240 Speaker 1: I probably have to ask all the boys I've not kissed. 147 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:10,840 Speaker 1: I don't know. Uh No, So here's the thing. It 148 00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:13,200 Speaker 1: wasn't like I know, I said on the podcast, like 149 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,040 Speaker 1: I let my shit my shit, I let my ship 150 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:21,840 Speaker 1: go to teeth. That's a good one, unintentional good one. 151 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,720 Speaker 1: With my best friend Kevin, I said, like, I didn't 152 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:28,280 Speaker 1: take care of my teeth, but obviously, you guys, I 153 00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:32,280 Speaker 1: brushed my teeth. Okay, I'm gonna like tell the truth here. 154 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:35,160 Speaker 1: So I always brush my teeth every single day. Sometimes 155 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:38,079 Speaker 1: in the night. I tell my kids to rush their teeth, 156 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:41,240 Speaker 1: but I don't brush my teeth. I do use a 157 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:45,160 Speaker 1: tongue scraper. I do use those listine strips and they're tasty. 158 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:50,680 Speaker 1: And yeah, I totally took care of my teeth. I 159 00:08:50,679 --> 00:08:52,559 Speaker 1: didn't have bad breath, but it was just I didn't 160 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,719 Speaker 1: get like the checkups and the cavities that I got 161 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:58,720 Speaker 1: after forty like done in a timely manner. But yes, 162 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,679 Speaker 1: I've always been very concerned about my breath. It's a thing. 163 00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:04,280 Speaker 2: What is the writing on the inside of your left arm? 164 00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:06,199 Speaker 2: Say sorry? 165 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:09,720 Speaker 1: It says whatever I wanted to say. No, it's in French. 166 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:12,480 Speaker 1: It says my whole heart, for my whole life. Yeah, 167 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:16,280 Speaker 1: and my husband and I seemed to be ex husband 168 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:19,679 Speaker 1: and I got matching ones for our ten year anniversary, 169 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:25,559 Speaker 1: and we had gone through some struggles previously. I say 170 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:27,679 Speaker 1: it like I'm like trying to pick and choose the 171 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:30,280 Speaker 1: right words. There was I did a TV show based 172 00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:33,680 Speaker 1: on a cultrue toy. There was some infidelity issues, and 173 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:37,840 Speaker 1: we stayed together and we worked things out, and I 174 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:40,600 Speaker 1: decided like, oh, we should get a tattoo together, my 175 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:45,000 Speaker 1: whole heart for my whole life. And so then we didn't. 176 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,400 Speaker 1: And then when we were in Paris and with our 177 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:50,920 Speaker 1: whole family and it was our ten year anniversary, I 178 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:53,960 Speaker 1: was like, oh, this is a great story. We should 179 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,280 Speaker 1: go for us, you know, because always creating the narrative, 180 00:09:56,320 --> 00:10:01,640 Speaker 1: not just in general, but within my own brain and family, 181 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:04,600 Speaker 1: and we should go get it. And so we found 182 00:10:04,679 --> 00:10:08,640 Speaker 1: I like was dming tattoo artists in Paris and spontaneity 183 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:10,079 Speaker 1: is my thing, and I was like, hey, can we 184 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:12,400 Speaker 1: come in and do it? And we did it and 185 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:15,480 Speaker 1: it was a really fun experience. And he did ask me, 186 00:10:15,559 --> 00:10:20,200 Speaker 1: He's like, so are you planning on removing this tattoo? 187 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:24,560 Speaker 1: And I was like no, because it's part of my journey. 188 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:27,880 Speaker 1: I would never remove it. Side note, my whole heart 189 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:29,880 Speaker 1: for my whole life. I'm talking about myself, bitch, I 190 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,120 Speaker 1: love myself. No, I'm just kidding. Let me do that 191 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:35,680 Speaker 1: without the bitch side. Now I'm talking about myself, my 192 00:10:35,679 --> 00:10:39,000 Speaker 1: whole heart, my whole life. Literally, like it's kind of cool. 193 00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:41,600 Speaker 1: I could just tell anyone it's about them and they'll never. 194 00:10:41,559 --> 00:10:47,280 Speaker 2: Go Okay, just like fine wine, you get better with time. 195 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:50,240 Speaker 1: Just like fine wine, you get better with time. That 196 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,880 Speaker 1: is a limerick. Wait is that a pickup line? That's 197 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:58,240 Speaker 1: now I want wine earlier, cheeseburger now wine. Okay, thank 198 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:09,800 Speaker 1: you you guys. This is really really fun. I love 199 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:12,679 Speaker 1: doing this. It's for my own personal like therapy. This 200 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:15,560 Speaker 1: is making me laugh, which is really good. So if 201 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:22,720 Speaker 1: you guys have any strange, weird, creepy questions as stories, 202 00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:26,280 Speaker 1: she's your host. She's here every week. No, seriously ask me, 203 00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:27,480 Speaker 1: you guys, I want to answer these. 204 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:30,120 Speaker 2: Thanks. Did you get your boobs done in the back 205 00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:32,320 Speaker 2: of a van? Yeah? 206 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:37,160 Speaker 1: Down by the river? Oh wait for real, wait like 207 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:40,960 Speaker 1: that SNL sketch, you get your. 208 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:43,400 Speaker 2: Boobs done in the back of a van down by 209 00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:49,199 Speaker 2: the river? Oh my god? 210 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:51,480 Speaker 1: Did I get my boobs done? When we get this right, 211 00:11:51,679 --> 00:11:53,240 Speaker 1: in the back of a van down by the river, 212 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:55,720 Speaker 1: no side note, you know how the Mile High Club. 213 00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:57,760 Speaker 1: I always want to have sex in the back of 214 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:04,880 Speaker 1: my boob's done, not by the river, maybe a beautiful 215 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:08,520 Speaker 1: lake or something. Never mind, I'm not really a water girl. 216 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:17,440 Speaker 1: My boobs, Yeah, which version of them? So I've got 217 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:20,000 Speaker 1: my boobs. I just got them done again, you guys, 218 00:12:20,679 --> 00:12:21,480 Speaker 1: I know, I. 219 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:26,080 Speaker 2: Think these aren't the ones either. God damn it. Third 220 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:28,000 Speaker 2: time will be the charm. 221 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:32,440 Speaker 1: So anyway, I have no comment on that. I know, 222 00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:34,600 Speaker 1: I don't know. I think my body doesn't like to 223 00:12:34,679 --> 00:12:40,120 Speaker 1: take four things doesn't work. Sorry, Okay, I think they're okay, 224 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,960 Speaker 1: now I think they're My whole intention of getting them 225 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:46,840 Speaker 1: redone was to go smaller because looking back to the nineties, 226 00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:48,599 Speaker 1: I was like, I liked my boobs. I wish I 227 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:51,440 Speaker 1: had just kept them, Like they're really great. And I 228 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:55,520 Speaker 1: was like a thirty two B maybe like an A 229 00:12:56,520 --> 00:13:00,920 Speaker 1: plus and like minus. But I was like, oh, you know, 230 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:05,280 Speaker 1: I just wanted to make them fuller. And my first 231 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:07,520 Speaker 1: boob job I went to I had a friend at 232 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:11,040 Speaker 1: the time, sorry, it was the bad boyfriend I talked about. 233 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:15,160 Speaker 1: It was his friend's girlfriend and she was a stripper 234 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:19,120 Speaker 1: and she had her Boobsen. So she's like, oh, you 235 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,640 Speaker 1: have to go to this place. And I was so 236 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:25,000 Speaker 1: scared to tell anybody that. I was like, okay, And 237 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:27,520 Speaker 1: so I went to this doctor and I was in 238 00:13:27,559 --> 00:13:33,000 Speaker 1: a strip mall. I'm not kidding. I can't make this up. 239 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,080 Speaker 1: I think he was a fine doctor. It was just 240 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:38,079 Speaker 1: like an outpittient surgery center in a strip mall. But 241 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:41,600 Speaker 1: you know, I was nineteen, so I was like, uh, 242 00:13:41,679 --> 00:13:44,719 Speaker 1: this is isn't Beverly Hills. What's happening. I was confused 243 00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:46,839 Speaker 1: and now I know, hey, you can get everything done 244 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:48,440 Speaker 1: in a strip mall, but that was back then, so 245 00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:50,760 Speaker 1: I was concerned, but of course I didn't say anything, 246 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:54,240 Speaker 1: and I got them done and then they took me home. 247 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:58,760 Speaker 1: And at the time, I was scared to tell my parents, 248 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,240 Speaker 1: tell my parents until they had to come over. My 249 00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:04,640 Speaker 1: mom had to come over and take care of me 250 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:08,760 Speaker 1: because at the time I was best friends with Lucia 251 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:11,960 Speaker 1: Silverstone and Carmen Electra and they were taking care of me. 252 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,320 Speaker 1: I can't even make this stuff up, you guys. And 253 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:16,199 Speaker 1: they were taking care of me. But it was Christmas 254 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:18,560 Speaker 1: time and they had to go to their families and 255 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,960 Speaker 1: I was bandaged. Up and my mom came over and 256 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,280 Speaker 1: I was like, I have to tell you something, and 257 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:23,840 Speaker 1: I told her I had my boobs done. She was 258 00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:26,600 Speaker 1: really cool about it. She was concerned, like what doctor 259 00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:29,240 Speaker 1: I went to and everything. And then while she was 260 00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:31,720 Speaker 1: taking care of me, she's like, look down. And I 261 00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:33,760 Speaker 1: was on like painkillers or something and she was helping 262 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,040 Speaker 1: me and she's like, what is that on your ankle? 263 00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:38,480 Speaker 1: And I was like, oh man, my mom doesn't know 264 00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:43,720 Speaker 1: I have a tattoo, and so as any like teenager does. 265 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:46,960 Speaker 1: I was like, a tattoo, Mom, that's my tattoo. And 266 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,920 Speaker 1: she was like, oh, okay, when'd you get that? And 267 00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:50,160 Speaker 1: I was like I don't know, I've had it. And 268 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:53,320 Speaker 1: I was like ooh inside, like oh my gosh. Yeah, 269 00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:55,360 Speaker 1: I had gotten a tattoo like the year before and 270 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,600 Speaker 1: hadn't told them my first tattoo anyway. 271 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:03,040 Speaker 2: And scene ready, she's giving over medicated and day drunk. 272 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:06,200 Speaker 1: She's giving over medicated and day drunk. 273 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:10,920 Speaker 2: That the translation is she's over medicated and day drinking. 274 00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:13,320 Speaker 2: That was my interpretation. 275 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,920 Speaker 1: This is in reference to my teeth and like, damn it, 276 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:18,880 Speaker 1: the teeth. I love the teeth, but I do have 277 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:22,160 Speaker 1: it's going away, I'm adjusting. Kevin says, it's still gonna 278 00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:24,360 Speaker 1: take time. They're new, twenty eight teeth new in my mouth. 279 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:27,480 Speaker 1: But you guys, even like other things, people say it 280 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:31,080 Speaker 1: like I'm not on medication, I'm not day drinking, but 281 00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:34,160 Speaker 1: I will start day drinking after this podcast because it's 282 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,040 Speaker 1: five o'clock somewhere. 283 00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:40,680 Speaker 2: Okay, no money but hair, nails and face. Hmmm wait wait. 284 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:45,960 Speaker 1: No money but hair and nails and face. Mm hmmmm mmm. 285 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:53,640 Speaker 1: Let me get this right, hum with an h m hmmm. 286 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:57,560 Speaker 1: Nailed it. Okay, duh, priorities. 287 00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,520 Speaker 2: You are a hot mess. 288 00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:03,720 Speaker 1: Thank you hot haute. 289 00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:07,160 Speaker 2: The ocean doesn't have that much plastic. 290 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:17,280 Speaker 1: The ocean doesn't have that much plastic. I'm assuming that's 291 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:20,040 Speaker 1: a plastic surgery reference. Oh my gosh. So I read 292 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,760 Speaker 1: the other day someone was like, but sometimes they make 293 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:26,280 Speaker 1: comments and they're very definitive, like you must do this, 294 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:28,960 Speaker 1: like this will help you. And it's almost like it's 295 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:32,840 Speaker 1: not mean or shaming. It's just like they were like, 296 00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:36,320 Speaker 1: you would be pretty if you got rid, and very 297 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:41,680 Speaker 1: like precise those cheek implants and your chin implants. Like 298 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:44,000 Speaker 1: she was like, I know, and I'm just telling you. 299 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:46,640 Speaker 1: And I was like I was actually, you know, I 300 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:48,440 Speaker 1: was getting my nails done while I was reading this 301 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:52,680 Speaker 1: out loud. Yeah, priorities. And I read it out loud 302 00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:55,360 Speaker 1: because I was all fired up and my nail tech 303 00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:59,520 Speaker 1: mister T. I can't make this up, mister T. 304 00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:03,200 Speaker 2: I'm sorry. I picture the actual best of tea and 305 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:04,080 Speaker 2: a nailshle. 306 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:12,480 Speaker 1: Mister T goes, he goes, he's like doing a thing. 307 00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:15,080 Speaker 1: He looks up and he was like, f the haters 308 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:18,080 Speaker 1: and he goes, you're beautiful and I was like, no, 309 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:20,720 Speaker 1: but it's not true. You don't understand. The only thing 310 00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:24,960 Speaker 1: that's an implant in my body are my tits and 311 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:27,719 Speaker 1: my dermals. And he was like dermals and I was like, 312 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:30,480 Speaker 1: it's a piercing you put it in your skin. It's subliminal, 313 00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:33,520 Speaker 1: like it pushes out eventually. It's not true piercing anyway. 314 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,160 Speaker 1: And I was like, but I don't have any implants 315 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:39,000 Speaker 1: in my face and I was like trying. I was like, 316 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,439 Speaker 1: can I have a minute, Can I just write back? 317 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:42,800 Speaker 1: And he's like, no, you cannot. He's like, you should 318 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:44,639 Speaker 1: not write back to these people. You have to let 319 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:47,920 Speaker 1: it go. It's pretty hard to let it go. But yeah, anyway, 320 00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:51,479 Speaker 1: do I have any plastic body? Where where do I plastic? Oh? Right, 321 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:52,399 Speaker 1: just plastic surgery. 322 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:54,840 Speaker 2: The only thing aging on you is your elbows. 323 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:59,360 Speaker 1: It's true. Thank you. I know, I know. I need 324 00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:01,240 Speaker 1: to ask my mom if that runs in the family. 325 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,200 Speaker 1: My elbows are like haggard, like I feel like from 326 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:06,600 Speaker 1: the front, like you know, I look at the mirror 327 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,719 Speaker 1: and I'm like, okay, it's old enough, okay, And then 328 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:13,240 Speaker 1: I turn around I'm like, ooh, and I'm not happy 329 00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:14,960 Speaker 1: with what I see, which I don't really have to 330 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:17,440 Speaker 1: see it because not really, like I don't see it 331 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,240 Speaker 1: until I look at pictures or until you guys tell me. 332 00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:23,640 Speaker 1: But like I guess a boy in the future will 333 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:29,120 Speaker 1: have to see the back of my elbows. Hmm. Yeah, 334 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:31,120 Speaker 1: I don't know. Can you get something done for your elbows? 335 00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,360 Speaker 1: I mean, I won't get it done. You people out 336 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:36,200 Speaker 1: there terrify me getting classic surgery because you say it 337 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:40,160 Speaker 1: so much about me and I don't have it. But yeah, anyway, 338 00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:43,080 Speaker 1: elbow job, what would that be? Give a hand job, 339 00:18:43,119 --> 00:18:46,720 Speaker 1: give a foot job, elbow job, elbowskin job, elbow skin job. 340 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:48,679 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I just coined a new thing for 341 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:51,120 Speaker 1: the sex industry. 342 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:54,720 Speaker 2: Anyhow, I do everything in threes too. Do you do 343 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,200 Speaker 2: this with a lot of things? Is it a comfort thing? 344 00:18:57,640 --> 00:19:01,520 Speaker 1: So that's referring to pretty clever posts I put up 345 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:06,240 Speaker 1: that goes with this podcast because it was check check, check, 346 00:19:06,359 --> 00:19:10,680 Speaker 1: and then my jenes are check. I actually do things 347 00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:15,320 Speaker 1: in pairs because I don't believe in human emotional attachment, 348 00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:18,840 Speaker 1: but I do believe in an adamant object emotional attachment 349 00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:22,359 Speaker 1: because I like to be different and they shouldn't be alone. 350 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:25,040 Speaker 1: So I it used to be an OCD thing in mine, 351 00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:26,760 Speaker 1: like everything had to be in pairs. If I was 352 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:30,640 Speaker 1: even eating something, I'll get slammed for this. Uh. If 353 00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:33,160 Speaker 1: I was leaving a bite like left on the plate, 354 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,040 Speaker 1: I would cut it in half just so they could 355 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:44,080 Speaker 1: have a friend. But in comedy and writing, we always 356 00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:47,679 Speaker 1: say comedy in threes. Everything works better a joke in threes, 357 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,920 Speaker 1: So that's how you write it and deliver it. So 358 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:54,199 Speaker 1: that was the reference I was making in threes. But 359 00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:55,760 Speaker 1: it does sound comforting. 360 00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:58,399 Speaker 2: What is your favorite food? 361 00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:04,440 Speaker 1: What is my favorite food? Oh, that's loaded. I'm definitely 362 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:08,439 Speaker 1: a meat and potatoes kind of girl. I am, like, 363 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:14,800 Speaker 1: all due respect to vegans and vegetable people, but I 364 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:19,000 Speaker 1: love meat, like I just really really like the meat. 365 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:25,679 Speaker 1: And I love sushi, so sushi. But I'm not like 366 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:29,080 Speaker 1: a big roll person. Like I'm like like a very 367 00:20:29,119 --> 00:20:34,240 Speaker 1: hardcore sushi person, like I love sashimi, and like I'm 368 00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:36,840 Speaker 1: also like scared when I go into sushi restaurants because 369 00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:39,200 Speaker 1: I want to like trust them and respect what they're doing. 370 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:42,680 Speaker 1: So I'm like, however, you think what I should eat? 371 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:43,480 Speaker 1: What sauce? 372 00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:43,960 Speaker 2: You know? 373 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,760 Speaker 1: Couse soonis they'll be like, don't put in the soy sauce. 374 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:47,879 Speaker 1: You're like, okay, no problem, and then you have to 375 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,920 Speaker 1: like sneak the soy sauce because you just want to 376 00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:56,040 Speaker 1: break rolls like me, but so love sushi, love lasagn 377 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:59,119 Speaker 1: yet big lasagna person. I think I still think I 378 00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:01,359 Speaker 1: make the best laza. But any place I go that 379 00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:03,399 Speaker 1: has alasania, I have to try it. Sorry, hear my 380 00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:05,200 Speaker 1: voice going up cause I'm super excited. So I'm talking 381 00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:07,120 Speaker 1: about food. This is my happy food dance right now. 382 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:15,560 Speaker 1: But uh, oh Taco Bell McDonald's. But what else? Oh 383 00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:18,520 Speaker 1: meat sticks. I'm a big fan of meat sticks, and 384 00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:21,720 Speaker 1: this is a thing. Any place I go and there's 385 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:24,120 Speaker 1: a new meat stick, I have to get it. And 386 00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:30,080 Speaker 1: most recently, my favorite beverage is Doctor Pepper, and there's 387 00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:32,840 Speaker 1: a Doctor Pepper meat stick that's out there, So I'm 388 00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:35,840 Speaker 1: telling everyone right now, if you like Doctor Pepper, you 389 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:38,320 Speaker 1: have to try this meat stick. But yeah, I love 390 00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:44,600 Speaker 1: meat sticks and pistachios and pickles, pickles. I could live 391 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:45,320 Speaker 1: on pickle Saloon. 392 00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:51,160 Speaker 2: There's a comment she looks like a white Wendy Williams, so. 393 00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:57,200 Speaker 1: A lot of people have written that comment, and I 394 00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:01,760 Speaker 1: actually think Wendy Williams is very party. She's not very 395 00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:04,320 Speaker 1: she hasn't been very kind to me in the past, 396 00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:08,679 Speaker 1: but I think she is a pretty woman and I 397 00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:12,480 Speaker 1: feel bad for her situation. But like I feel like 398 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:15,280 Speaker 1: commenting on that, like everyone's you'll never be able to 399 00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:18,320 Speaker 1: unsee it. It's one of those things that once that 400 00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:21,199 Speaker 1: comment was made, I was like, huh, and then I 401 00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:23,679 Speaker 1: looked and I was like, oh, I cannot see that 402 00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:28,800 Speaker 1: because you see what they're talking about, and that like 403 00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:32,000 Speaker 1: also goes along with the comment, and people are like, 404 00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:38,199 Speaker 1: she looks like Marlon and Sean Wayan's in disguise in 405 00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:44,520 Speaker 1: the movie White Chicks, and I'm like, fair yep, anyway, 406 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:49,439 Speaker 1: I but my kids love pulling this up all the 407 00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:54,760 Speaker 1: time because there's an infamous Wendy Williams comment where if 408 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:58,040 Speaker 1: you click on it, it says Tori Spelling has ebola. 409 00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:00,840 Speaker 1: The saddest part is I'll be like to my kids, like, 410 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,080 Speaker 1: I can't believe people are saying this about me or 411 00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:04,800 Speaker 1: that online. That's so horrible, and they're like, we have 412 00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:08,760 Speaker 1: no idea what you're talking about. But they all, collectively, 413 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:12,280 Speaker 1: every age, not the seven year old on repeat, will 414 00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:13,879 Speaker 1: be like, well, all my friends and I listen to 415 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:17,679 Speaker 1: this Tory Spelling has ebola. They all have it on 416 00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:20,919 Speaker 1: their phones like that's like they were like, mom, you've 417 00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:23,240 Speaker 1: made it. Like that was when they thought I'd made 418 00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:26,800 Speaker 1: it when she said that, And they think it's hilarious 419 00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,920 Speaker 1: and they all play it. For the record, I did 420 00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:33,200 Speaker 1: not have ebola. So I've had a lot of issues, 421 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:41,800 Speaker 1: Ebola not one of them.