1 00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:07,480 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Stuff 2 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:19,000 Speaker 1: I Never Told you, production by Hurt Radio, and. 3 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:22,520 Speaker 2: We are continuing our journey in celebrating pride here in 4 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:27,640 Speaker 2: the US. But we are talking about an activist, advocate, model, writer, 5 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:32,400 Speaker 2: and so much more from the UK. Yesmn Benoir and yes, 6 00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:35,000 Speaker 2: obviously this is activists around the world. If you didn't know, 7 00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:39,639 Speaker 2: Tuta So Benoir started to gain attention for her activism 8 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:43,040 Speaker 2: around twenty seventeen, wanting to bring in attention and awareness 9 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:45,839 Speaker 2: to a romantic and asexual people. And you know, we 10 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:49,400 Speaker 2: love talking about a romantic asexual people because we have one. 11 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:55,440 Speaker 2: You what have you? Benoit became vocal about different misconceptions 12 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:59,360 Speaker 2: and misinformation around her sexuality. So she talks about her 13 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,200 Speaker 2: figuring out her sexuality and the difficulties she had to 14 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:05,559 Speaker 2: navigate in her a sexuality, as well as teaching others 15 00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:09,000 Speaker 2: how to look beyond those misconceptions. And here's something from 16 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:11,399 Speaker 2: her article in British Vogue. Yes she did write this, 17 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:14,000 Speaker 2: because again she's a writer. There is a phase in 18 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:17,440 Speaker 2: our lives when everyone seems asexual and almost everyone seems 19 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:20,319 Speaker 2: a romantic. It wasn't until puberty kicked in that platonic 20 00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:23,600 Speaker 2: relationships seemed to take a back seat. My peers stopped 21 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:26,320 Speaker 2: wanting to play together and start wanting to date each other. 22 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:28,560 Speaker 2: That was when I started to realize that there was 23 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:31,919 Speaker 2: something different about me. I didn't seem to be experiencing 24 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:34,720 Speaker 2: the same urges as those around me. I chose to 25 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:36,839 Speaker 2: go to an all girls school in the hopes that 26 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:40,280 Speaker 2: in the absence of boys, everyone would stop caring about 27 00:01:40,319 --> 00:01:43,640 Speaker 2: sex and dating. It actually had the opposite effect. There 28 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:45,600 Speaker 2: was a sense of deprivation in the air and the 29 00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:49,720 Speaker 2: heightened desire to project sexuality into anything and everything. And 30 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:53,280 Speaker 2: she continues, having a sexual orientation isn't just natural, is 31 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:56,400 Speaker 2: essential as part of being a fully functional human being, 32 00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:59,520 Speaker 2: and to romantically love and be loved by another person 33 00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:02,920 Speaker 2: is the ultimate goal. Is part of being normal, which 34 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:06,400 Speaker 2: made me both abnormal and puzzling. When you're a sexual, 35 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:08,560 Speaker 2: people think there's something wrong with your body. When you're 36 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:11,000 Speaker 2: a romantic, they think there's something wrong with your soul. 37 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:14,480 Speaker 2: So as she was navigating these times, it was more 38 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:18,200 Speaker 2: difficult than she realized. So in that article, she expresses 39 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:20,440 Speaker 2: her fear of not being normal and being told that 40 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:24,120 Speaker 2: her reactions and lack of sexual wants were wrong. She 41 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:26,360 Speaker 2: goes on to talk about how people analyze her and 42 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,680 Speaker 2: she felt even more isolated and as if there was 43 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:29,679 Speaker 2: something wrong with her. 44 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:33,079 Speaker 1: From that same British Folgue article quote, it was suggested 45 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:36,520 Speaker 1: that I was suffering from my issues because I was 46 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:40,160 Speaker 1: socially anxious and insecure. The suggestion that my issue was 47 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:42,880 Speaker 1: pathological stayed with me for a long time, but not 48 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:45,440 Speaker 1: as much as the widely accepted theory that I was 49 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:49,840 Speaker 1: mentally slow. Unfortunately, that one stuck. I was referred to 50 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:52,440 Speaker 1: as stupid and I started to believe that was the case. 51 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:56,400 Speaker 1: It would impact my experience in education for the next 52 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:59,079 Speaker 1: eight years, long after I realized that there was a 53 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:00,120 Speaker 1: word for what I was. 54 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:04,679 Speaker 2: Asexual right, and she has done a lot of research 55 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:08,280 Speaker 2: and that was just the beginning. Again, she didn't stop there. 56 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:11,360 Speaker 2: She created the hashtag this is what asexual looks like 57 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:14,320 Speaker 2: and she began modeling at age sixteen, which often made 58 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:18,000 Speaker 2: people question her a sexuality. In fact, it was after 59 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:21,280 Speaker 2: her gig as an asexual lingerie model, which she still is, 60 00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:24,040 Speaker 2: but led her to the hashtag and also her experience. 61 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:26,920 Speaker 2: In an appearance for a BBC three documentary about a 62 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,840 Speaker 2: sexuality which she actually didn't like and felt that it 63 00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:33,480 Speaker 2: was a misrepresentation of a sexuality. And here's what she 64 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:36,960 Speaker 2: told a magazine dot UCL dot AC dot UK. It 65 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,320 Speaker 2: was her school. By the way, I knew I was 66 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:41,600 Speaker 2: asexual at a young age and tried to learn more 67 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:43,840 Speaker 2: about it as a teenager in the early twenty tens, 68 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:46,760 Speaker 2: but not many people were talking about it. Fast forward 69 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:49,360 Speaker 2: to twenty seventeen, at which point I was modeling more, 70 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:51,920 Speaker 2: which meant I was spending more time on social media, 71 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,840 Speaker 2: and I realized that the landscape hadn't changed much at all. 72 00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:59,960 Speaker 2: Despite conversations having opened up about other LGBTQIA plus identity, 73 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:03,960 Speaker 2: there's still little discussion of a sexuality or representation of 74 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,800 Speaker 2: a sexuality in the media. I thought, quote, why not 75 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:09,320 Speaker 2: throw my perspective in the mix, and publicly came out 76 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:13,000 Speaker 2: on National Coming Out Day twenty seventeen. People cared about 77 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,039 Speaker 2: this more than I expected. Suddenly I was doing interviews, 78 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:18,640 Speaker 2: appearing in documentaries, and speaking at events. 79 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:21,480 Speaker 1: And then she understood how her words and her work 80 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:24,719 Speaker 1: were so important for a sexual representation. She goes on 81 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:27,200 Speaker 1: to talk about the spectrum of asexuality and even how 82 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,680 Speaker 1: she felt this was an opportunity to use her platform 83 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:33,080 Speaker 1: to dispel the misinformation and to show a different type 84 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:36,920 Speaker 1: of representation from the British Vogue article quote. It gave 85 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:40,320 Speaker 1: me the opportunity to encounter a range of asexual and 86 00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:43,480 Speaker 1: a romantic people offline. It was then that I learned 87 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:47,440 Speaker 1: the significance of having an a romantic identity. There are 88 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:51,560 Speaker 1: many asexual people who still feel romantic attraction as well 89 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:55,200 Speaker 1: as a romantic people who still feel sexual attraction. They 90 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:58,040 Speaker 1: have their own range of experiences, their own culture, their 91 00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:01,520 Speaker 1: own flag, and like the ACE actual community, I was 92 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:05,000 Speaker 1: relieved to see that they are just normal people. These 93 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:09,520 Speaker 1: intersecting communities are not stereotypes. They aren't just thirteen year 94 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,320 Speaker 1: old pink caared kids making up identities on Tumblr to 95 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:17,880 Speaker 1: feel special. They were parents, lawyers, academics, husband's girlfriends, artists, black, white, 96 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:22,000 Speaker 1: young old with differing feelings towards the many complex elements 97 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:26,200 Speaker 1: of sexuality and intimacy. Most importantly, they were happy. 98 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:28,719 Speaker 2: Now she has continued to advocate for our community. She 99 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:32,680 Speaker 2: has collaborated with different organizations to bring more awareness, including 100 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:36,360 Speaker 2: working with Stonewall Charity for Queer Rights. So again from 101 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:39,760 Speaker 2: magazine dot UCL dot AC, dot UK. She goes on 102 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,080 Speaker 2: to talk about her work with Stonewall, which was titled 103 00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:45,320 Speaker 2: the Stone Wall with Yasmin benoir Ace Project, so it 104 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:48,640 Speaker 2: is quote the Stone Wall with Yasmin Benoa Ace Project, 105 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:51,200 Speaker 2: which began in twenty twenty two. We realized that before 106 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:53,960 Speaker 2: we could begin campaigning for change, we needed people to 107 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:57,120 Speaker 2: understand more about a sexuality and the issues we want 108 00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:59,400 Speaker 2: to tackle. So the first phase of the project was 109 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:00,760 Speaker 2: to produce a report. 110 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:04,360 Speaker 1: And they did publish that report in twenty twenty three. 111 00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:06,760 Speaker 1: Here's some of the things they have been able to 112 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:10,320 Speaker 1: find to quote. We found that asexual people face discrimination 113 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:13,159 Speaker 1: in many aspects of their lives and that the community 114 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:17,080 Speaker 1: needs better legal protections. A key finding was the poor 115 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:20,919 Speaker 1: experience many asexual people have in the workplace. Half of 116 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:24,000 Speaker 1: a's people aren't out at work, and many that are 117 00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:28,800 Speaker 1: often experienced intrusive questions are harassment. We also found that 118 00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:31,760 Speaker 1: many as people have poor experiences in health care settings, 119 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:35,640 Speaker 1: where their asexuality is often inappropriately labeled a mental health condition. 120 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:39,280 Speaker 1: Our report calls for the World Health Organization to end 121 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:43,400 Speaker 1: its classification of asexuality as a mental health condition, as 122 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:47,760 Speaker 1: it has previously done for homosexuality. And transgender health. We're 123 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:51,040 Speaker 1: also calling for asexual people to be provided with protections 124 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:55,520 Speaker 1: under the Equality Act and for a ban on conversion therapy. 125 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:58,400 Speaker 2: Right Obviously, they've been working to get this research into 126 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:00,560 Speaker 2: the right hands as well as bring it to it 127 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:04,520 Speaker 2: through educational avenues such as going through colleges and obviously 128 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:08,880 Speaker 2: publishing within their articles and even through the NHS, So 129 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:12,120 Speaker 2: she is obviously still working on this. They are still 130 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:13,920 Speaker 2: working on that, and she is far from being done 131 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,200 Speaker 2: with any of this work. She's currently working at the 132 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:19,840 Speaker 2: King's College, London's Policy Institute as a visiting research fellow, 133 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:23,160 Speaker 2: as well as she just co authored I Believe in February, 134 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:27,400 Speaker 2: a new report concerning public attitude towards a sexuality, which 135 00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:31,679 Speaker 2: is really important obviously, and yes, she is quite busy 136 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:34,400 Speaker 2: with her work and she has been recognized for this 137 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:38,080 Speaker 2: work from her website Yasmin Bernoir dot co dot uk. 138 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:41,960 Speaker 2: Yasmin has won an Attitude Prior Award for her activism, 139 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:45,520 Speaker 2: making her the first openly a romantic asexual activist to 140 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:49,320 Speaker 2: win an LGBTQ Plus award. She later won a Campaigner 141 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:52,000 Speaker 2: Influencer of the Year at the Rainbow Honors and became 142 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:55,720 Speaker 2: a celebrity ambassador for the Prince's Trust, and she's become 143 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:57,960 Speaker 2: the first asexual person to appear on the cover of 144 00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:02,560 Speaker 2: Attitude magazine. Doing a lot of great work out there. 145 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:04,400 Speaker 2: You should definitely go look at her site because she 146 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:06,880 Speaker 2: has all of her articles in there and it's all 147 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:09,560 Speaker 2: so amazing, as well as where she could be found 148 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:12,080 Speaker 2: or if you want to follow her on all the 149 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:13,600 Speaker 2: social medias, which. 150 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:18,320 Speaker 1: You should, yes absolutely and as always, listeners, if you 151 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:21,880 Speaker 1: have any suggestions for this segment, please let us know. 152 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,840 Speaker 1: You can email us at Hello at stuff one Neever 153 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:25,800 Speaker 1: Told You dot com. You can find us on Blue 154 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:28,240 Speaker 1: Sky at momsterf podcast, or on Instagram and TikTok at 155 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:30,320 Speaker 1: stuff One Never Told You for also on YouTube. We 156 00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:31,920 Speaker 1: have a tea public store and we have a book 157 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,280 Speaker 1: you can get wherever you get your books. Thanks Zoeys 158 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:36,720 Speaker 1: to our super producer Christina or executive producer My and 159 00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:39,840 Speaker 1: our contributor Joey, thank you and thanks to you for listening. 160 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,680 Speaker 1: Stuff Never Told You is prediction of by Heart Radio. 161 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:43,360 Speaker 1: For more podcasts or my Heart Radio, you can check 162 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:45,360 Speaker 1: out the art radio app, Apple podcast or wherever you 163 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,240 Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows.