WEBVTT - Second Cup: When you have too much time

0:00:03.200 --> 0:00:06.400
<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

0:00:09.720 --> 0:00:13.920
<v Speaker 1>Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

0:00:14.480 --> 0:00:17.640
<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is about how to think about time and

0:00:17.720 --> 0:00:20.120
<v Speaker 1>structure it when you find you have more of it

0:00:20.200 --> 0:00:23.120
<v Speaker 1>than in the past, or more than you necessarily know

0:00:23.200 --> 0:00:26.360
<v Speaker 1>what to do with now. I recognize that this might

0:00:26.400 --> 0:00:29.480
<v Speaker 1>seem like a strange problem to have or to talk

0:00:29.520 --> 0:00:32.239
<v Speaker 1>about in a time management podcast. I get a lot

0:00:32.280 --> 0:00:34.640
<v Speaker 1>of letters from people juggling a job and a side

0:00:34.680 --> 0:00:38.080
<v Speaker 1>hustle and a family, including kids and aging relatives. The

0:00:38.159 --> 0:00:41.199
<v Speaker 1>idea of having too much time might feel like a

0:00:41.280 --> 0:00:44.239
<v Speaker 1>joke to these people, but it isn't, and it's a

0:00:44.320 --> 0:00:46.199
<v Speaker 1>challenge that can face lots of people and may be

0:00:46.320 --> 0:00:49.480
<v Speaker 1>close to everyone at some point in our lives. Maybe

0:00:49.520 --> 0:00:51.960
<v Speaker 1>you're a full time parent who looks up after years

0:00:52.000 --> 0:00:54.360
<v Speaker 1>of dizziness to realize that all your kids are in

0:00:54.400 --> 0:00:58.560
<v Speaker 1>school and are reasonably self sufficient. Maybe you're newly retired

0:00:58.920 --> 0:01:01.080
<v Speaker 1>and trying to figure out how a structure life without

0:01:01.120 --> 0:01:04.560
<v Speaker 1>a job that had previously been all consuming. People who

0:01:04.560 --> 0:01:07.120
<v Speaker 1>lose jobs suddenly tend to focus their time on finding

0:01:07.160 --> 0:01:10.559
<v Speaker 1>new ones. But maybe you're consciously taking six to twelve

0:01:10.560 --> 0:01:13.759
<v Speaker 1>months off between jobs after moving for a spouse's job,

0:01:13.840 --> 0:01:18.280
<v Speaker 1>for instance, or after experiencing burnout. Or maybe you are working,

0:01:18.720 --> 0:01:21.000
<v Speaker 1>but you've noticed that with a hundred sixty eight hours

0:01:21.000 --> 0:01:24.360
<v Speaker 1>in a week, working forty hours and sleeping eight hours

0:01:24.360 --> 0:01:27.640
<v Speaker 1>a night, so fifty six per week, leave seventy two

0:01:27.640 --> 0:01:30.480
<v Speaker 1>hours for other things. That can be a lot if

0:01:30.520 --> 0:01:34.399
<v Speaker 1>you don't have big personal commitments. This last challenge was

0:01:34.440 --> 0:01:37.039
<v Speaker 1>one that an Australian listener wrote in to tell me about.

0:01:37.680 --> 0:01:40.200
<v Speaker 1>She noted that I work full time, but outside of

0:01:40.240 --> 0:01:43.119
<v Speaker 1>that and the usual exercise routines in the business of living,

0:01:43.560 --> 0:01:46.120
<v Speaker 1>I have a lot of time, and I feel guilty

0:01:46.360 --> 0:01:49.360
<v Speaker 1>for not using it better. My friends with children are

0:01:49.360 --> 0:01:52.160
<v Speaker 1>constantly busy and are envious of the long stretches of

0:01:52.200 --> 0:01:55.360
<v Speaker 1>time I have available. But I feel sort of paralyzed

0:01:55.680 --> 0:01:59.559
<v Speaker 1>and overwhelmed by having too much time. Instead of using

0:01:59.560 --> 0:02:01.360
<v Speaker 1>it to write to be creative like I want to,

0:02:01.920 --> 0:02:05.120
<v Speaker 1>I fall into watching too much Netflix or reading about

0:02:05.160 --> 0:02:07.320
<v Speaker 1>things that don't really matter to me on the Internet.

0:02:07.840 --> 0:02:11.400
<v Speaker 1>I even dread weekends sometimes because they're long stretches of

0:02:11.440 --> 0:02:15.120
<v Speaker 1>time with no structure to them. The listener wanted to

0:02:15.160 --> 0:02:18.040
<v Speaker 1>know what I would recommend she do well, The first

0:02:18.080 --> 0:02:21.359
<v Speaker 1>thing I'd recommend to anyone feeling paralyzed as they look

0:02:21.400 --> 0:02:24.480
<v Speaker 1>at long stretches of time is to make a list

0:02:24.560 --> 0:02:28.119
<v Speaker 1>of a hundred dreams. This is an exercise we discussed

0:02:28.160 --> 0:02:32.240
<v Speaker 1>back in episode eighteen. It is a completely unedited list

0:02:32.320 --> 0:02:35.560
<v Speaker 1>of anything you might want to spend more time doing.

0:02:36.360 --> 0:02:38.160
<v Speaker 1>The reason to go all the way to a hundred

0:02:38.639 --> 0:02:41.040
<v Speaker 1>is that it forces you to think hard and to

0:02:41.160 --> 0:02:44.160
<v Speaker 1>keep coming back to the list several times over a

0:02:44.200 --> 0:02:47.280
<v Speaker 1>week or more. The first items tend to be those

0:02:47.320 --> 0:02:50.720
<v Speaker 1>big bucket list items like going to Tahiti, but by

0:02:50.720 --> 0:02:54.320
<v Speaker 1>the last third you're really digging. You start thinking about

0:02:54.360 --> 0:02:56.840
<v Speaker 1>that park that's an hour away where you'd like to

0:02:56.880 --> 0:02:59.680
<v Speaker 1>go for a sunset walk someday, Or maybe you'd like

0:02:59.720 --> 0:03:01.799
<v Speaker 1>to learn and to make your own yogurt, or join

0:03:01.840 --> 0:03:04.760
<v Speaker 1>an orchestra, or read all the books of Wendell Berry,

0:03:04.919 --> 0:03:08.399
<v Speaker 1>or in a completely different direction, David Foster Wallace, You're

0:03:08.400 --> 0:03:11.160
<v Speaker 1>not holding yourself to any items on this list, so

0:03:11.280 --> 0:03:14.720
<v Speaker 1>feel free to list whatever you want. The point is

0:03:14.760 --> 0:03:17.520
<v Speaker 1>just to get yourself thinking of all the things you

0:03:17.560 --> 0:03:22.760
<v Speaker 1>could do with your time that might be meaningful or enjoyable. Then,

0:03:22.960 --> 0:03:25.560
<v Speaker 1>when you have this really long list, you can start

0:03:25.639 --> 0:03:29.120
<v Speaker 1>choosing a few items to try. The key to avoiding

0:03:29.160 --> 0:03:32.560
<v Speaker 1>the sense of paralysis is to pace yourself through it.

0:03:33.360 --> 0:03:35.400
<v Speaker 1>Your rate of pulling items off your list of a

0:03:35.480 --> 0:03:38.800
<v Speaker 1>hundred dreams depends on the situation. If you know you

0:03:38.840 --> 0:03:41.600
<v Speaker 1>have exactly six months off between jobs, you're going to

0:03:41.680 --> 0:03:44.040
<v Speaker 1>pull stuff off at a faster rate than if you're

0:03:44.080 --> 0:03:47.560
<v Speaker 1>newly retired and have years in front of you. Someone

0:03:47.600 --> 0:03:50.800
<v Speaker 1>like our listener, who's working full time will probably approach

0:03:50.920 --> 0:03:55.000
<v Speaker 1>this project at a slightly slower pace. My recommendation would

0:03:55.040 --> 0:03:58.400
<v Speaker 1>be to choose one item a month. That doesn't sound

0:03:58.480 --> 0:04:01.240
<v Speaker 1>like much if the item is just one off experience,

0:04:01.400 --> 0:04:04.320
<v Speaker 1>such as visiting a museum that's forty five minutes away,

0:04:04.480 --> 0:04:07.880
<v Speaker 1>But some items, such as taking a pottery class, might

0:04:07.920 --> 0:04:10.560
<v Speaker 1>involve a weekly commitment of two to three hours for

0:04:10.640 --> 0:04:13.120
<v Speaker 1>twelve weeks or so. This is why you don't want

0:04:13.160 --> 0:04:15.680
<v Speaker 1>to take on too many new things at once, even

0:04:15.720 --> 0:04:19.400
<v Speaker 1>if you are facing wide open swaths of time. Then,

0:04:19.720 --> 0:04:23.360
<v Speaker 1>while you're trying things, really pay attention to how you feel.

0:04:24.040 --> 0:04:27.920
<v Speaker 1>See what energizes you, see what you find yourself anticipating.

0:04:28.600 --> 0:04:31.640
<v Speaker 1>When you find yourself truly drawn to something, you can

0:04:31.680 --> 0:04:34.760
<v Speaker 1>start incorporating it into your life in a bigger way.

0:04:35.040 --> 0:04:38.719
<v Speaker 1>One pottery class turns into taking others, and that turns

0:04:38.760 --> 0:04:42.080
<v Speaker 1>into joining a local artist group that meets weekly, and

0:04:42.160 --> 0:04:45.000
<v Speaker 1>that turns into volunteering once a month teaching pottery at

0:04:45.040 --> 0:04:48.920
<v Speaker 1>an after school program. Pretty soon your life has plenty

0:04:48.960 --> 0:04:52.960
<v Speaker 1>of stuff that's more interesting than Netflix. Of course, being

0:04:53.000 --> 0:04:55.400
<v Speaker 1>a wise steward of time isn't just about filling it

0:04:55.440 --> 0:04:59.280
<v Speaker 1>with fascinating, meaningful things. When you do have wide open

0:04:59.320 --> 0:05:01.039
<v Speaker 1>swaths of time, it can be easy to fill it

0:05:01.080 --> 0:05:04.200
<v Speaker 1>with stuff that doesn't matter to you. People with large

0:05:04.240 --> 0:05:07.359
<v Speaker 1>external demands on their time naturally become more efficient, or

0:05:07.400 --> 0:05:11.040
<v Speaker 1>at least lower their standards with stuff like housework and errands.

0:05:11.800 --> 0:05:14.559
<v Speaker 1>Our listener mentioned almost dreading weekends because of the wide

0:05:14.600 --> 0:05:17.640
<v Speaker 1>open space. When that's the case, you can wind up

0:05:17.680 --> 0:05:21.080
<v Speaker 1>meandering from store to store just to fill time. So

0:05:21.120 --> 0:05:23.840
<v Speaker 1>which as much as possible, I recommend compressing the have

0:05:24.040 --> 0:05:27.360
<v Speaker 1>tow dues to a limited window of time. My advice

0:05:27.400 --> 0:05:29.800
<v Speaker 1>to someone who was taking six months off between jobs

0:05:29.800 --> 0:05:32.560
<v Speaker 1>to help her family move was to do all the tasks,

0:05:32.640 --> 0:05:35.200
<v Speaker 1>such as getting new license plates, all on one day

0:05:35.240 --> 0:05:38.280
<v Speaker 1>of the week. Maybe this all happens on let's call

0:05:38.320 --> 0:05:41.719
<v Speaker 1>it must do Mondays. Then you can enjoy your other

0:05:41.800 --> 0:05:45.240
<v Speaker 1>open time guilt free. There's a time for getting the

0:05:45.240 --> 0:05:49.839
<v Speaker 1>new bookshelves delivered, and now is not that time. If

0:05:49.839 --> 0:05:52.760
<v Speaker 1>you've dealt with wide open patches of time, how have

0:05:52.800 --> 0:05:55.719
<v Speaker 1>you approached them? How have you avoided a sense of

0:05:55.760 --> 0:05:59.680
<v Speaker 1>being overwhelmed or paralyzed? As always, you can email me

0:06:00.000 --> 0:06:04.000
<v Speaker 1>at Before Breakfast podcast at i heeart media dot com.

0:06:04.000 --> 0:06:07.760
<v Speaker 1>In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening and

0:06:07.800 --> 0:06:16.839
<v Speaker 1>here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

0:06:17.080 --> 0:06:19.200
<v Speaker 1>I'd love to hear from you. You can send me

0:06:19.240 --> 0:06:22.880
<v Speaker 1>your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with

0:06:22.880 --> 0:06:27.280
<v Speaker 1>me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod.

0:06:28.000 --> 0:06:32.320
<v Speaker 1>That's b the number four, then Breakfast p o D.

0:06:33.160 --> 0:06:36.040
<v Speaker 1>You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast

0:06:36.120 --> 0:06:39.479
<v Speaker 1>podcast at i heeart media dot com. That Before Breakfast

0:06:39.640 --> 0:06:42.200
<v Speaker 1>is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much,

0:06:42.400 --> 0:06:50.520
<v Speaker 1>I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is

0:06:50.520 --> 0:06:53.720
<v Speaker 1>a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from

0:06:53.760 --> 0:06:57.760
<v Speaker 1>my heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

0:06:58.040 --> 0:07:04.680
<v Speaker 1>or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Whe