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Speaker 1: This is Ania.

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Speaker 2: Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and

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Speaker 2: I'm Jamila.

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Speaker 3: Oh okay, you know, you know we got a special guest.

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Speaker 3: I got to use my full Muslim name today.

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh, Jamila, not Mila today.

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Speaker 3: For those of you who are confused, my name is

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Speaker 3: Jamila and I go by Mila.

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Speaker 4: It's been many layers to me.

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Speaker 2: It's also possibly Jamila. But you know my name is no.

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Speaker 2: You let people call you that.

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Speaker 3: I live in the valley amongst a lot of whites.

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Speaker 3: I've grown up here in my whole life, and I'm

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Speaker 3: not correcting everybody every five minutes. So I've been a

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Speaker 3: lot of things, a lot of I know. I have

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Speaker 3: whit friends who are like, your name's Jamila. I'm like, yes, bitch,

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Speaker 3: always has been so yeah. Hi, Hi, how are you feeling.

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Speaker 2: I'm good. I'm good. You guys, welcome to Money March.

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Speaker 2: If you're just joining us, We're focusing on finance and

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Speaker 2: wealth and all things money and abundance this month. I'm

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Speaker 2: really excited because we have a special guest today. We

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Speaker 2: have none other than Thought Leader and what what? What

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Speaker 2: do you like to be introduced us? Thought leader works

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Speaker 2: for me, okay thought leader titles? No, okay, well, I'm

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Speaker 2: mean neither thought Leader. Nineteen Keys is in the building

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Speaker 2: joining us today. So thank you, sir for coming by.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for having me.

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Speaker 2: We've been wanting to interview you for a minute. We've

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Speaker 2: been We've been low key stalking you on the ground

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Speaker 2: and watching the videos.

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Speaker 3: We're professional Instagram stokers. So if you open up your

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Speaker 3: dms and happen to find eighteen from us, I canore

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Speaker 3: those we got you here.

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Speaker 2: I appreciated them a moment. This is done.

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Speaker 4: I mean consistency. Shit persistency.

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Speaker 3: People like count themselves out because they are too like

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Speaker 3: the two. Their ego gets in the way of asking

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Speaker 3: for what they want, you know, and like every single

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Speaker 3: thing we've gotten is because we pull up in those

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Speaker 3: dms and we ask Someone asked me that, like, who

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Speaker 3: does your pr I'm like the Instagram dms me, So yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well I don't really know much about you prior to

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Speaker 2: what you do now, So can you give us a

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Speaker 2: little backstory? Who is nineteen Keys? Where are you from?

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Speaker 4: How did you become a major thought leader on the internets.

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Speaker 5: You know, I grew up in Oakland, California. I'm born

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Speaker 5: in Saint Louis, raised in Oakland, California. My story really

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Speaker 5: starts early. You know, I got videotapes and me speaking,

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Speaker 5: you know, on topics that I talk about now. From

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Speaker 5: a child, I feel like I was really groomed and

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Speaker 5: raised to be who I am today. Is just you know,

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Speaker 5: throughout iterations of my life in different cycles, you know,

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Speaker 5: I found my way into the streets and it's different things,

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Speaker 5: but as an adult, I found my way back to it.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 5: There was a time where I remember, you know, being

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Speaker 5: in the streets of Oakland. I used to speak at

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Speaker 5: sometimes they had like protest and rallies, and oft the

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Speaker 5: time it did be about like social justice right, and

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Speaker 5: it would be no young black men speaking, but it'd

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Speaker 5: be about young black men.

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Speaker 1: Death a lot.

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Speaker 5: So I just felt like there was no representation, you know.

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Speaker 5: So I remember I used to grow and grabbing Michael

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Speaker 5: a bullhorn and speak and give a speech that was

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Speaker 5: just you know, my passion at the time, and then

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Speaker 5: weeks after that there would still be people walking up

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Speaker 5: to me and giving me compliments about you know what

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Speaker 5: I said, and making suggestions of me to speak more

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Speaker 5: and things of that nature.

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Speaker 2: Is this teenage keys or is this.

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Speaker 1: Uh ye just teenage?

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Speaker 5: Let me see, Oh it was at this shop. I

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Speaker 5: think maybe like twenty one twenty, you understand me. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: I think it's about twenty one twenty. But you know,

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Speaker 5: I grew up in a black Muslim environment in Oakland, California,

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Speaker 5: and so I've always seen black men speak up, you

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Speaker 5: understand me.

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Speaker 1: I already seen black men have their.

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Speaker 5: Enterprises and you know, have the ability to manage other

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Speaker 5: people and to go out there and speak about social

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Speaker 5: justice and things of that nature. So that was never like,

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Speaker 5: you know, something that was special to me. That was

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Speaker 5: just normal to me growing up. Right, we had a

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Speaker 5: very interesting upbringing growing up in Oakland, California.

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Speaker 1: So for me to you know, feel.

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Speaker 5: Like that's a path that I could follow of being

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Speaker 5: an eloquent speaker and the type of conversations that we

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Speaker 5: have privately bringing those to a public stage, that's just

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Speaker 5: me being myself. Like I got seven brothers, so like

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Speaker 5: and two sisters. This is how we just talk. I

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Speaker 5: had a shop in Oakland. People would come in there

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Speaker 5: and they'd chop it up with me, and like, these

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Speaker 5: are the conversations and debates and bills that we have

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Speaker 5: been So you know, I always thought like, damn if

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Speaker 5: people actually because I never hear our perspectives on the

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Speaker 5: internet or in.

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Speaker 1: The news or on TV.

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Speaker 5: So I'm like, damn people hurt our perspective, they would

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Speaker 5: love it or it changed their mind, you understand me.

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Speaker 5: So that always been my thought from a young age, right,

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Speaker 5: And so I.

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Speaker 1: Remember it was Shabo College. They had a.

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Speaker 5: Opportunity that they sent to me to come up there

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Speaker 5: and speak to the young men. And I guess some

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Speaker 5: of the young men seeing me on Instagram, I hadn't

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Speaker 5: be at like three four hundred followers, but they just

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Speaker 5: seen how I carried myself. Things I talked about daily,

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Speaker 5: the journey entrepreneurship.

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Speaker 1: As I was in this space of I had just

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Speaker 1: fired my job and I started.

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Speaker 2: My own business. What you mean you just fired your job?

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Speaker 1: I fired my job. Now, firing is a two way street.

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Speaker 1: I understand me. No I fired, I fired. I put

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Speaker 1: them on though.

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Speaker 5: I let them know, you understand me that I'm going

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Speaker 5: to bigger and better things. I matched out all that

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Speaker 5: I can do here and y'all can no longer go

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Speaker 5: for me. I worked that product, right, So I was

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Speaker 5: getting paid like six figures. It was a good job

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Speaker 5: by any standards, right.

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Speaker 1: I learned a lot, you know. I took all the

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Speaker 1: information and knowledge, but I decided that damn, you know, I.

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Speaker 5: Can't talk to people about independence. If I'm not independent,

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Speaker 5: I can't talk to people about these things. So I

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Speaker 5: just felt like a hypocrite if I wasn't doing on myself.

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Speaker 5: So instead I decided to just go on that journey.

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Speaker 5: So I truly believe that you know, the way a

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Speaker 5: job can fire you. You can fire them, whynot. It's

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Speaker 5: a business relationship, right, I do.

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Speaker 1: Something for you, you do something for me. Right.

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Speaker 5: If I feel like I have, you know, outgrew the

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Speaker 5: terms of disagreement, then you fired.

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Speaker 1: Right, you can no longer do anything for me, right.

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Speaker 1: So I think that.

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Speaker 5: That's a like a slave master mindset, that they only

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Speaker 5: put the power on one side of the dynamic.

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Speaker 1: Right, So hell yeah, I fired them.

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Speaker 5: Then I took that information, knowledge and experience, and I

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Speaker 5: started to work for myself, right, And so that afforded

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Speaker 5: me the opportunity to feel free and to really chase

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Speaker 5: things that I was driven and I felt that was

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Speaker 5: purposeful in my life.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 5: And so at the time I had a clothing store,

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Speaker 5: ice to designed everything. I did the marketing, the branding.

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Speaker 5: So I took all the skill sets that I learned

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Speaker 5: from product and I said, damn, if I can make

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Speaker 5: these people through million dollars a year, what can I

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Speaker 5: do for myself?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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Speaker 5: So even if I just get the percentage of that,

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Speaker 5: I'll be all right, right, And so you know I

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Speaker 5: was right. And so there were students that seen me

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Speaker 5: talk about my journey and my process of development, and

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Speaker 5: it was like, yo, we want him to come up

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Speaker 5: there and speak, and so the guy agreed that was

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Speaker 5: the head of that particular program. I went up there

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Speaker 5: and I remember asking my brother Jay Short, I say, listen,

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Speaker 5: you know this is gonna go viral.

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Speaker 1: It's all I'm talking to him, all right.

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Speaker 5: I ain't never had nothing reach a thousand views or nothing,

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Speaker 5: but I just really believe that, you know, this perspective

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Speaker 5: is needed. And I when I go speak anywhere, I'm

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Speaker 5: not just speaking to the students, I'm speaking to everybody, right,

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Speaker 5: Always tell them like the people that are there, they're

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Speaker 5: there to witness the message that.

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Speaker 1: The world is gonna received as well. Right.

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Speaker 5: So I went in there and I think it about

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Speaker 5: an hour and a half, I gave my lecture to

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Speaker 5: the students and did a Q and A, and I

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Speaker 5: remember I told him to send me the video because

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Speaker 5: he started making these edits and cuts, and it kind

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Speaker 5: of looked like everything you see on social media, like

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Speaker 5: it looked like you're trying to go viral or something.

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Speaker 5: And really, I genuinely wanted people to get every aspect

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Speaker 5: of the message, so I make sure that none of

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Speaker 5: it could been misunderstood. So I had all these lengthy captions.

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Speaker 5: I make sure that there was sonic marketing where there

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Speaker 5: was booms, and every point that I wanted people to

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Speaker 5: pay attention to, we put overlay.

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Speaker 1: Text on it.

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Speaker 5: And so when I dropped the first video, lo and behold,

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Speaker 5: it went viral. Dropped the second video, I probably got

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Speaker 5: like fifty sixty clips.

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Speaker 1: On one video.

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Speaker 2: What were you actually talking about?

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Speaker 5: I was talking about just the journey mental development, you know,

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Speaker 5: that struggle on the journey of family versus friends. You know,

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Speaker 5: people wanted support, not supporting, seeing the vision, thinking long term, right,

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Speaker 5: being underestimated, how to use that as leverage on the journey,

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Speaker 5: like all of those things that you know. I think

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Speaker 5: it was really hard hitting for people as they were

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Speaker 5: listening because you had all these celebrities that is following

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Speaker 5: blogs was picking it up like it was every clip

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Speaker 5: was just going crazy like they'd never heard the gospel before.

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Speaker 1: It's on about so, you know, and on from there.

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Speaker 5: I always took that principle, like I hed Kevin Harse say,

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Speaker 5: when you have the fire lit, it's easier to keep

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Speaker 5: throwing stuff in the fire and relight it, right, And

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Speaker 5: so instead, you know, I decided to keep the motion moving.

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Speaker 5: And you know, fast forward five six years later, you know,

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Speaker 5: we're still in action.

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Speaker 3: So that was five or six years ago that you

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Speaker 3: started on this journey of public speaking.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say about five years ago.

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Speaker 3: I think it's it's powerful to you know, you know,

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Speaker 3: change your words and say I fired my job. I

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Speaker 3: think a lot of people become dependent on our jobs

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Speaker 3: because it's our butter and butter our it's our shelter,

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Speaker 3: it's our bills, and so like to people have dreams

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Speaker 3: and a lot of times ignore the dreams because they're

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Speaker 3: married to these jobs. They feel slaved to them because

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Speaker 3: they feel like, well, if this doesn't work out, at

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Speaker 3: least I have this consistent check. So I think like

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Speaker 3: that mindset shift is important, even the language that you

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Speaker 3: use and that you're like, I see that I'm making

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Speaker 3: you money.

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Speaker 4: And truly, when you work at a like a.

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Speaker 3: Corporation like that, they don't give a fuck about the salesperson,

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Speaker 3: like you're replaceable. But you know, a lot of times,

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Speaker 3: as black people are as just you know, working people,

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Speaker 3: we are so dependent upon those jobs that we don't

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Speaker 3: have the the fear like prevents us from pursuing our

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Speaker 3: dreams or like our power and what we know we're

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Speaker 3: good at. But and I heard you say something about,

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Speaker 3: like you feel like you were groomed for this from

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Speaker 3: a young age, Like what kind of household did you

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Speaker 3: grow up in? How did your parents groom you for this?

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Speaker 3: Like what was your like were your parents married or

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Speaker 3: what was the ideology that like puts you in that

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Speaker 3: mind frame from a young age to have the courage

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Speaker 3: to be like, I'm out of here, I'm good my parents.

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Speaker 5: I grew up in a black Muslim household, and I

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Speaker 5: think the earliest affirmation that thought they ever gave.

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Speaker 1: Was is that you are a god right. And in

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Speaker 1: that journey of understanding what that meant.

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Speaker 5: Right has been a lifelong journey right, And through different

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Speaker 5: phases of my life's different mental development, it means something

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Speaker 5: different to me through each phase. But it has been

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Speaker 5: the backbone of self belief that has stirred me alone,

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Speaker 5: the path of believing that you know, the impossible is possible.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 5: So no matter times I got in trouble, right, I

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Speaker 5: always thought that now, but.

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Speaker 1: I'm a god, I can get myself out of it. Right.

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Speaker 5: Always took that level of accountability over my reality.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 5: And so also like just that glooming process of being

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Speaker 5: young in a black Muslim household, we.

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Speaker 1: Were just taught about who the devil was and who

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Speaker 1: God was.

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Speaker 5: So I was never surprised about what I see in

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Speaker 5: the world, right, because we was taught about the ills

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Speaker 5: of society.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 5: So as a young man, even in the streets, right,

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Speaker 5: when I see, you know, the police do something, when

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Speaker 5: I see cast in the street do something, I understand

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Speaker 5: the mentality of where both sides come from.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 5: It's like understanding the snake nature and if it bites you, right,

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Speaker 5: you don't get mad at the snake.

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Speaker 1: That's just his nature.

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Speaker 5: He didn't do nothing to you personally, And so understanding

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Speaker 5: the nature of this world gives you the ability to

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Speaker 5: deal with this world. Right, and so for me me

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Speaker 5: understanding you know that there's many young black men, ain't

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Speaker 5: many young males who don't know what it's like to

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Speaker 5: you know, have let's say, you know, a role model

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Speaker 5: in their life, a father in their life, some knowledge

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Speaker 5: yourself in their life.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 5: I wanted to make sure that those are the keys

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Speaker 5: that I give out, you know, because I believe we

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Speaker 5: live in a world that is underfathered. I understand me,

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Speaker 5: and so that lack of that means that there's a

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Speaker 5: lot of people who don't get that ability to truly

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Speaker 5: develop themselves with the right energies around.

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Speaker 1: Understand me. And so I just kind of participated in.

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Speaker 5: That whole reality that you know, if you have a

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Speaker 5: gift of talent or skill and know how or something

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Speaker 5: to do, you have to utilize that in some capacity

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Speaker 5: to add to.

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Speaker 1: The world, right, in some measurement of good.

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Speaker 2: I think about just education in general, and I'm curious

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Speaker 2: to know your views on that. I don't know, did

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Speaker 2: you go to college.

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Speaker 1: I went to one year of college. I dropped out.

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Speaker 1: I ended up catching the case, not because.

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Speaker 5: Not during college, but I was accused of something and

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Speaker 5: then I beat the case I was accused of an assault, right,

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Speaker 5: I end up beating that case.

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Speaker 1: And then I never ended up going back to college.

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Speaker 2: So what are your views on education? Because I mean, obviously,

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Speaker 2: you know we're all I think from an early age

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Speaker 2: we're primed to believe that going to college is going

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Speaker 2: to set you up for success, that it's guaranteed to

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Speaker 2: set you up success, and we all know that it

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Speaker 2: really sets you up for extreme debt.

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Speaker 4: Set you up to work for the man.

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Speaker 2: I mean, granted, I think there's benefits in education. I

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Speaker 2: think now we live in a world where education is

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Speaker 2: a lot more accessible. You can learn really and get

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Speaker 2: really specific about what you actually care about. Now, But

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Speaker 2: what are your views on I mean, I'm assuming you're

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Speaker 2: not really for college or am I wrong?

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Speaker 5: Well, it depends, right, I think it's not as general

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Speaker 5: and shouldn't be used as loosely as it always has, right, Like,

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Speaker 5: of course, I'm pro education. I believe learning, right, I'm

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Speaker 5: pro learning, I'm pro knowledge, right, pro self development. You

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Speaker 5: can't get that without being educated.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 5: If you look at the way to all people have

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Speaker 5: built their wealth, it has been through education, right, And

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Speaker 5: so you know whether that's Asian Jewish, White, Hispanic culture,

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Speaker 5: whoever it is, right, education is a primary backbone in

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Speaker 5: that process of their standards towards wealth.

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Speaker 1: Right. So you can't get rid of education because.

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Speaker 5: The people who don't know nothing can't do nothing right.

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Speaker 5: And so even when you look at any neighborhood in America,

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Speaker 5: it's the low education that you know decreases their opportunities

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Speaker 5: and the outcome of their life, right, And so that's

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Speaker 5: the environment. So I'm definitely pro education. And when it

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Speaker 5: comes to college and even in the public school system,

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Speaker 5: I think that that's where all of that needs to

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Speaker 5: be reforming and all thinking go around that needs to change.

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Speaker 5: There are many elements about the public education system that

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Speaker 5: is just a complete scam, right for those who believe

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Speaker 5: that it does anything else but to make you a

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Speaker 5: worker of somebody else that you know has a job.

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Speaker 5: It is meant to prepare you for the workforce, right

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Speaker 5: as human capital. It's not meant to make you smart,

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Speaker 5: and not meant to make you to you know, industry thinker,

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Speaker 5: and I meant to make you a genius, brilliant, to

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Speaker 5: develop those aspects of yourself that allow you to thrust,

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Speaker 5: to flourish, and to live in purpose, the thing that

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Speaker 5: people chase after they go through college and education and

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Speaker 5: they in debt, and they still don't feel like they purpose, right,

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Speaker 5: they living within a purpose and they don't have drive

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Speaker 5: towards the things that they learn at all. Right, And

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Speaker 5: so you know, I heard Robert Smith say that sixty

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Speaker 5: percent of black wealth goes towards you know, college debt. Right,

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Speaker 5: And so when you think about just that staggering figure

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Speaker 5: within itself, it has to be a scam, right if

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Speaker 5: that's not what got us out of the condition. And

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Speaker 5: we're spending all of this money and sixty percent of

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Speaker 5: black wealth is being poured into debt, where would that

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Speaker 5: money have been, right if we utilize an alternative system,

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Speaker 5: developing skill sets and finding a correct division towards education.

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Speaker 5: But because so many parents try to live their failures, right,

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Speaker 5: and they try to pass that off onto their children

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Speaker 5: to be the first one who graduate from school, first

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Speaker 5: one graduate from college. Get this increase your opportunities for success.

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Speaker 5: They never gave them any other routes route. And so

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Speaker 5: you know, a low leveled thinker is always going to

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Speaker 5: findly one solution to a problem. A high level thinker

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Speaker 5: has multiple solutions to a problem. So now we live

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Speaker 5: in today where we have more access than any of

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Speaker 5: the generation ever to exist. Right, So you can learn

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Speaker 5: out the internet, you can learn from artificial intelligence, you

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Speaker 5: can learn from peers, you can learn from so many

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Speaker 5: different people to get direct skills that can help you

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Speaker 5: live the type of life that you want, rather than

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Speaker 5: have the go to a slew of courses, right, pay

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Speaker 5: thousands and thousands of dollars and not use probably.

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Speaker 1: Ten percent of that information in real life.

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Speaker 2: I totally agree. I also agree that we are in

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Speaker 2: the age of so much information and it's not even

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Speaker 2: really being used. I mean, I think because a our

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Speaker 2: detention span is non.

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Speaker 1: Existent absolutely, and.

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Speaker 2: B there's just so much distraction that's like muddled in

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Speaker 2: all the information by design, so that it's like, oh,

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Speaker 2: that's cool, that's interesting, but let me see this over here,

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Speaker 2: and then just you kind of go back and forth

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Speaker 2: and back and forth, and you spend so much time

378
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Speaker 2: wasting time that it is wild to know that there

379
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Speaker 2: is literally you can do anything you want. The YouTube

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Speaker 2: university is a real fucking thing. Like I've learned so

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Speaker 2: much just from a listening to podcasts. Now you don't

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Speaker 2: even have to read books you can just listen to them.

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Speaker 1: That's the fact.

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Speaker 2: Like there's so many's they've simplified everything, and yet there's

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Speaker 2: still such a like a lack in education.

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Speaker 5: I think it's mental exhaustion is a real thing. We

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Speaker 5: got a thing where everybody has access to the information,

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Speaker 5: but most people don't know how to think right like

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Speaker 5: you can. If you give a smart man right a

390
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Speaker 5: phone the internet, he's going to do smart things with it.

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Speaker 5: You give a person that's low education and they're considered

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Speaker 5: to be unintelligence and dumb, they're going to do dumb

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Speaker 5: things with it because they only have the option of

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Speaker 5: their resources, which is their mind, right, that's what they

395
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Speaker 5: know what to do with it. So there's always going

396
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Speaker 5: to be some people who use things intelligently and something

397
00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:05,640
Speaker 5: people who use things ignorantly, right, And so they don't

398
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Speaker 5: mind giving tools to a society when they already know

399
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Speaker 5: their education levels. We didn't teach y'all nothing in school.

400
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Speaker 5: This ain't dangerous to give.

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Speaker 1: Y'all this, right, Just look at how you you go

402
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Speaker 1: get this phone and you go dance with it. You're

403
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Speaker 1: not gonna put out no message, You're not gonna do

404
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:21,560
Speaker 1: anything that matters to the world. Or the system, and if.

405
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Speaker 5: You do, we just go change the rules, go deplatform,

406
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Speaker 5: demonetize you, de boost you.

407
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Speaker 1: So we just go, you know, squash any threats to

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Speaker 1: what we feel like should be the society. So who

409
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Speaker 1: are the gatekeepers?

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Speaker 5: The most successful people, those people that have the control

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Speaker 5: over their algorithms and social media and the platforms, and

412
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Speaker 5: those impositions of power, and those who already come from

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Speaker 5: families of power. Who you know, it becomes less about

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Speaker 5: the education more about the network, right, and so you know,

415
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,720
Speaker 5: you can be smartest you onto you don't know the

416
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:54,200
Speaker 5: right people, you can't do nothing. But now we at

417
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Speaker 5: this point where possibly you still can because you got

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Speaker 5: the internet. So you see people who are able to

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Speaker 5: build themselves up to where they can become the most

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Speaker 5: talked about subject in the world possibly. And then there

421
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Speaker 5: are some people who are stopped from becoming those subjects

422
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Speaker 5: because they make sure that no, that was about to

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Speaker 5: go viral, let's let's.

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Speaker 1: Kill that, right.

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Speaker 5: We don't want that to be the primary talk of

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Speaker 5: the town. So it's a dangerous society where you know,

427
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:22,000
Speaker 5: you're not really free to grow, right, And so you

428
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Speaker 5: got to learn how to play the game.

429
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Speaker 1: The game ain't taught how.

430
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Speaker 5: To be played in school. It's not They don't tell

431
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Speaker 5: you how to do your taxes. They don't tell you

432
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Speaker 5: how to do credit. They don't tell you how to

433
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Speaker 5: build a business. They don't tell you how to utilize

434
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,720
Speaker 5: social media. They don't tell you how to think. They'll

435
00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:36,320
Speaker 5: tell you what type of thinker you are, right, and they.

436
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Speaker 4: Tell you how to think, and they tell you how

437
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Speaker 4: to not think freely.

438
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Speaker 2: Well that at or positively they're not thinking.

439
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,760
Speaker 1: That's like most of it is memorization.

440
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Speaker 2: I was listening to an episode you had on your show,

441
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Speaker 2: and you were talking about how even the most like

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Speaker 2: gifted young black women, girls or boys, often when they're

443
00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:02,760
Speaker 2: exposed essentially then they're then taken from the community and

444
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:05,640
Speaker 2: put into these white schools and they're sent to these

445
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,879
Speaker 2: white colleges and then kind of used as a tool

446
00:20:08,359 --> 00:20:10,840
Speaker 2: to keep the machine going. And I was like, WHOA,

447
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:14,919
Speaker 2: I've never even like considered that, And it's it's so

448
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:20,520
Speaker 2: true because even as genius as that young boy or

449
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:23,960
Speaker 2: girl may be, they don't have the wherewithal or the

450
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:27,480
Speaker 2: education to know that they can use that and bring

451
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:31,639
Speaker 2: it back to the community. It's almost like they're trained

452
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:33,760
Speaker 2: to seek the validation in whiteness.

453
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,840
Speaker 3: Well that's the whole system, right, like everything, but I

454
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:37,760
Speaker 3: never realized like that.

455
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,120
Speaker 2: I mean obviously, but it's like to really think about

456
00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:43,200
Speaker 2: the isolation and to take them from the community and

457
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:46,240
Speaker 2: then put them in Go to Stanford, go to Yale,

458
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:49,840
Speaker 2: you know where you're where you're gonna experience being the

459
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:53,160
Speaker 2: minority but also celebrated because you're the minority and you're smart.

460
00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:55,520
Speaker 2: So it's like this mind fuck of like, well I'm

461
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:58,000
Speaker 2: the smartest, I'm the smartest one here, but I'm also

462
00:20:58,080 --> 00:20:59,040
Speaker 2: like the only one here.

463
00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:00,440
Speaker 4: I think.

464
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:04,240
Speaker 3: It's also like the system so fucked is because like

465
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:07,120
Speaker 3: when you talk about education, and you know, even black

466
00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:08,680
Speaker 3: people like you said like they're like, well, I didn't

467
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:10,280
Speaker 3: go to college. I'm gonna give this opportunity for my

468
00:21:10,359 --> 00:21:12,800
Speaker 3: child because this is the system in which we've been given.

469
00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:14,720
Speaker 3: You're going to go get this higher education and do

470
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:18,960
Speaker 3: something with your life. But when the curriculum is feeding

471
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:22,640
Speaker 3: the beast and you're not learning an education that supports

472
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:24,199
Speaker 3: who you are or who your culture is or what

473
00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:27,480
Speaker 3: your history is, then you're just memorizing things that have

474
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,679
Speaker 3: absolutely nothing to do with you or your community or

475
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:31,760
Speaker 3: how to better it. In fact, you might be a

476
00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:34,719
Speaker 3: gifted child and you might test high, but you are

477
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:37,680
Speaker 3: testing high within a system that was not created for you.

478
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,199
Speaker 3: It was created you know, everything we've learned, Like you know,

479
00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:41,560
Speaker 3: we just asked U where we're from.

480
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:44,439
Speaker 4: We're from the valley. And I've always been one.

481
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,359
Speaker 3: Of two or three black kids in every school I

482
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:48,480
Speaker 3: went to until I went to college. And that's because

483
00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:51,240
Speaker 3: I chose to go to HBCU because my parents are like, oh,

484
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:52,720
Speaker 3: you need to get the fuck out of here. But

485
00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:58,000
Speaker 3: it's crazy that like we push our kids. Well, first

486
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,479
Speaker 3: of all, we've assimilated to this entire system, because this

487
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:03,960
Speaker 3: is just you know, like the history of America essentially.

488
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,920
Speaker 3: But then you learn and you exceed in these systems

489
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:09,800
Speaker 3: that were never really created to put you on top.

490
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:10,720
Speaker 4: It's only created.

491
00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:12,560
Speaker 3: Like you said, I'll take all remove you, I'll put

492
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:15,280
Speaker 3: you with Billy and Joe, and then I'll put you

493
00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:16,960
Speaker 3: at the top of my company so you can make

494
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,119
Speaker 3: me three million dollars a year, you know. And so

495
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:22,439
Speaker 3: if you're not if you're not clear about who you

496
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:25,200
Speaker 3: are and how you support your community or your family,

497
00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:27,560
Speaker 3: you will think that that's the ultimate success story.

498
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:28,399
Speaker 2: You know.

499
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:33,359
Speaker 3: So it's just like you, we have to continuously examine

500
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:37,359
Speaker 3: what truly is success for us. Does it look like

501
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:40,560
Speaker 3: you know, Becky down the street. No, because she has,

502
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:42,880
Speaker 3: she's been, that's her, that's a system for her, that's

503
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:45,560
Speaker 3: her education. She her parents are going to put that

504
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:48,239
Speaker 3: fucking trust fund aside for her. So she's not like

505
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:51,000
Speaker 3: starting from zero, she's starting from one hundred because she

506
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,919
Speaker 3: has credit, she knows, she has inherited a business and

507
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:57,200
Speaker 3: you know, and not to It's just we have to

508
00:22:57,240 --> 00:23:01,719
Speaker 3: be clear as black people that our systems and our

509
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:05,199
Speaker 3: education is completely different, and we have to oftentimes be

510
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:08,159
Speaker 3: willing to reject those things and not go to those

511
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:10,400
Speaker 3: schools even if I am right, even if I can

512
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:14,639
Speaker 3: and go a route that like evolves us in a

513
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:15,600
Speaker 3: completely different way.

514
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:16,160
Speaker 1: Yeah.

515
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:21,440
Speaker 5: That and you have to be connected to not even

516
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:24,879
Speaker 5: the word culture is just so washed down, but you know,

517
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:28,840
Speaker 5: an ethnic route, right, Like you can be black, but

518
00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:31,280
Speaker 5: what's your ethnicity, what is your values, your belief what's

519
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:32,240
Speaker 5: your religion right?

520
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:34,600
Speaker 1: What is your system, what's your principles? Right? What do

521
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:35,320
Speaker 1: you take pride in?

522
00:23:36,119 --> 00:23:38,560
Speaker 5: So you know, if you're not connected to that, and

523
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 5: you become separated from that. Right now, you think you're

524
00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:44,480
Speaker 5: better than that. Right now, you're not connected to the

525
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:46,280
Speaker 5: issues problem. Matter of fact, you don't even know them.

526
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:49,240
Speaker 5: So you get this intelligence and you're so disconnected to

527
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:52,879
Speaker 5: what's happening in the neighborhoods the hood. Black people like

528
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:55,439
Speaker 5: you can be for humanity, but it's okay to have

529
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:57,639
Speaker 5: a singular focus, to say I want to focus on

530
00:23:57,680 --> 00:24:01,080
Speaker 5: black people and those problems, right the same way. You

531
00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:04,680
Speaker 5: know there's some women who just focus on women problems, right.

532
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:07,760
Speaker 5: There are gay people focus on nothing but gay people problems,

533
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:11,199
Speaker 5: Jewish people, Jewish problems. They only make it seem like

534
00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:14,480
Speaker 5: there's a problem to be pro black, right, and his

535
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:17,280
Speaker 5: ideas like, well, what's the opposite of pro black is

536
00:24:17,359 --> 00:24:20,600
Speaker 5: anti black? So anti black is accepted more widely than

537
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:24,200
Speaker 5: being pro black. Right, anti black, you can talk about murdering, killing,

538
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:26,760
Speaker 5: robbing each other, you can talk about degregation, you can

539
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:29,920
Speaker 5: talk about slinging, you know, fitting all to each other.

540
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,720
Speaker 5: That's that's that's anti black behavior.

541
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:33,440
Speaker 4: Black crime.

542
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:35,879
Speaker 5: Right, But pro black gets made fun of in media

543
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:38,919
Speaker 5: pro black man all of a sudden because those tropes

544
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:42,080
Speaker 5: have been perpetuated by those people who own media. Black

545
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:45,280
Speaker 5: people didn't create those tropes, but we perpetuate them.

546
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:51,080
Speaker 2: Well, I think about the the term or the the

547
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:54,760
Speaker 2: I guess, yeah, the term or the identity of a hotel,

548
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:57,400
Speaker 2: right right. You know, that's that's always comes up in

549
00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:00,680
Speaker 2: on the internet, and amongst amongst black women, they be like,

550
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:03,000
Speaker 2: oh shit, there's a whole tep thing. They're like, oh, Lauri,

551
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,119
Speaker 2: you're about to come over here and talk about good

552
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:09,439
Speaker 2: morning queen or grand rising. And you know, I've had

553
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:12,000
Speaker 2: to check myself because I've I've received it from certain

554
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,239
Speaker 2: people where I'm like, Okay, this feels genuine, and then

555
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:18,800
Speaker 2: there's other people where I'm like please, Like, I don't know,

556
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:23,800
Speaker 2: and but I think that we are so not used

557
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:27,359
Speaker 2: to even talking to each other in a positive way

558
00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:30,639
Speaker 2: and greeting each other in that way that it feels facetious.

559
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:33,920
Speaker 5: Where we learned that from though, Like if you first

560
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 5: seen that in the movie, first, you first seen that

561
00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:39,040
Speaker 5: on a TV show, it wasn't never just a natural

562
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:41,880
Speaker 5: thought to you've heard somebody else say it, so then

563
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:44,119
Speaker 5: you learned that's how I'm gonna treat this person. It

564
00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:47,200
Speaker 5: wasn't a natural thought that if a person treats you nice,

565
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:50,359
Speaker 5: then they corny you know what I'm saying, like the

566
00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:51,720
Speaker 5: oracles of the world.

567
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:56,000
Speaker 2: Nice, it's the certain words. It's a certain word. And

568
00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:58,840
Speaker 2: because of the language and certain words that I guess

569
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:02,639
Speaker 2: trigger certain women. I think because there's black men that have,

570
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:06,680
Speaker 2: especially with black women, that have presented themselves in one

571
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:08,600
Speaker 2: way and then treated them another way.

572
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:10,840
Speaker 5: The men who said good morning and have been toxic

573
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:13,960
Speaker 5: as well. So there's been way more men that have

574
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:16,320
Speaker 5: said good morning, and we're more toxic than the.

575
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:18,560
Speaker 1: People that you can count that have said good rising.

576
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:20,400
Speaker 1: You understand me. So you you.

577
00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:23,680
Speaker 5: Can't vilify a couple of words when your whole life

578
00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:25,680
Speaker 5: people have been telling you good morning, if you've had

579
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 5: bad incidents with them.

580
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:29,320
Speaker 4: No, I agree. You can't write off we learned, we

581
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 4: learned good morning from you can't.

582
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:36,920
Speaker 3: You can't write unity based on like some shower apples. However,

583
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:39,879
Speaker 3: I will say just from like person, well, first of

584
00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:41,719
Speaker 3: both my parents from Philly.

585
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:44,080
Speaker 4: It's a lot of black Muslims in Philly.

586
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:45,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, shout out to Philly, Shout out to Philly.

587
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:47,639
Speaker 3: I have a lot of cousins, a lot of relatives,

588
00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:55,840
Speaker 3: even me, like, I think, let's good to it. I

589
00:26:55,119 --> 00:26:59,200
Speaker 3: I have like even I like in my my even

590
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:03,400
Speaker 3: growing up in the valley in white spaces, I got early.

591
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:05,480
Speaker 4: My blackness.

592
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:07,800
Speaker 3: I was aware of it. I knew very early I

593
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:10,359
Speaker 3: was going to HBCU. Both my parents went to HBCUs,

594
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:13,119
Speaker 3: my grandparents went to HBCUs, my aunt, my uncle, like

595
00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:17,080
Speaker 3: having pride in being black was very important, and like

596
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:19,280
Speaker 3: Malcolm X was like one of the first books I

597
00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:21,679
Speaker 3: was it was mandated for me to read in my household.

598
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:25,720
Speaker 3: I think for women or for me, let me say personally,

599
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:31,240
Speaker 3: my not my issue, but my Sometimes when I have

600
00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:34,359
Speaker 3: written off certain people, and I've assumed that is that

601
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:38,640
Speaker 3: I've had experience is with men who identify as I'm

602
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:41,240
Speaker 3: a Muslim man, and I'm and I only want to

603
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:44,080
Speaker 3: be with a virtuous woman, and I'm and maybe they're

604
00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:47,120
Speaker 3: highly educated and they know how to talk, and they

605
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:49,960
Speaker 3: are charming, and they are coming off as religious in

606
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:54,679
Speaker 3: ways and educated, and they use that same power to manipulate,

607
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:57,200
Speaker 3: which is my problem with a lot of religions in general.

608
00:27:57,240 --> 00:28:00,159
Speaker 3: And we see that in Christianity the pastors be and

609
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:03,840
Speaker 3: all types of shit and stealing and fucking and all

610
00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:07,560
Speaker 3: these shady things that are un Christian or unholy. And

611
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:09,399
Speaker 3: I mean and I say this across the board, like

612
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:12,919
Speaker 3: I'm not into hypocrites, you know, but I think women

613
00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:15,439
Speaker 3: sometimes get a bad taste in their mouth because in

614
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:19,080
Speaker 3: certain religions, and like most of them, honestly, the patriarchy

615
00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:24,040
Speaker 3: excuses behavior that's not of the word or of the

616
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:26,320
Speaker 3: study in which you follow, and then they use it

617
00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:30,119
Speaker 3: as a as a tool to shame and belittle women.

618
00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:32,520
Speaker 3: And so it immediately when you see a man and

619
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 3: he's like, oh, I'm a good Muslim man and good

620
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:38,240
Speaker 3: morning queen, and you're like, i'd been got before, because

621
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:39,560
Speaker 3: let me tell you, I'll be the first to say

622
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:45,440
Speaker 3: I have been got by someone who you know, represents

623
00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:48,760
Speaker 3: himself as in a certain way. And then lo and behold,

624
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:51,440
Speaker 3: And that's my fault because I know better. You peel

625
00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:53,040
Speaker 3: back some layers and it's like, oh, you're just as

626
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:55,960
Speaker 3: unhealed as a lot of these other men, but you

627
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:59,120
Speaker 3: are covering it in this religion and this cloth, and

628
00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:02,000
Speaker 3: that I think puts a bad taste in people's mouth.

629
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:05,920
Speaker 3: And I don't disagree that we get like the Also

630
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:09,960
Speaker 3: how we, like you said, if like we watch media

631
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:14,160
Speaker 3: that is continuously feeding us negative imagery about ourselves, we

632
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:16,680
Speaker 3: are going to beginning to hate ourselves. And let's face it,

633
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:20,520
Speaker 3: America has intentionally built its whole shit on making Black

634
00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:23,800
Speaker 3: people not know who they are and hate themselves and

635
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:27,520
Speaker 3: in turn hate each other and not you know, seek

636
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:30,840
Speaker 3: to know our true essence and our true nature and

637
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:33,440
Speaker 3: our true you know, culture, and our true religion and

638
00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:36,760
Speaker 3: where we came from. But I just I think that

639
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:40,280
Speaker 3: is my issue with the hotypes that I have come across.

640
00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:42,360
Speaker 5: Well, I mean, I don't you know the word hotep

641
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:45,600
Speaker 5: is you know, it's a false classification. Hotel just mean

642
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:48,480
Speaker 5: live in peace, right, right, but to be at peace

643
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:51,800
Speaker 5: rather But in the Urban Dictionary, what you explained was

644
00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:54,920
Speaker 5: more so just you know, your personal experiences from the

645
00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:58,840
Speaker 5: environments and relationships you had, Right, they have nothing to

646
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:03,240
Speaker 5: do with the origins of how black people create this,

647
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:08,560
Speaker 5: you know, propaganda against consciousness or intelligence. That's not where

648
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:11,680
Speaker 5: that stem from. It does not stem from personal relationships.

649
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:14,760
Speaker 5: It stems from the media, right, And this is how

650
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:17,680
Speaker 5: we justify it because of our experiences that we add

651
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:20,760
Speaker 5: on top of that. Then we stigmatize it, right, But

652
00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:22,880
Speaker 5: that's not the reality of where it stems from.

653
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:25,080
Speaker 1: The stem is that it comes from somebody else.

654
00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 5: Throwing the program in a wrench, and that saying that, no,

655
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:30,800
Speaker 5: anytime that a black Muslim or someone conscious is portrayed,

656
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:34,480
Speaker 5: make them be portrayed, corny, right, make them be portrayed,

657
00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:36,920
Speaker 5: you know, like whether it's in Boys to Men, whether

658
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:39,560
Speaker 5: it was Damon Wayne's making fun, it was, make them

659
00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:43,600
Speaker 5: be or oracle making fun of the intelligent, right, always

660
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:46,280
Speaker 5: make them betrayed that way, And always make the criminal

661
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:49,320
Speaker 5: or the so called gangster be the cool one, right,

662
00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:51,800
Speaker 5: the glorified, the one that all the women won't. That

663
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:54,640
Speaker 5: was not something that came from a personal experience. That

664
00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:58,000
Speaker 5: was something that came from propaganda. Right, So most of us,

665
00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:01,160
Speaker 5: when you really think about the root of your programming,

666
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:04,400
Speaker 5: the way you think about things, now, it's not your thinking, right,

667
00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:07,240
Speaker 5: it's thinking that was given to you. And so there's

668
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:08,960
Speaker 5: something that has to go away from that. Because you

669
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:11,840
Speaker 5: can go into Muslim countries, Christian countries, everybody golla have.

670
00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 1: The same experience that you just said.

671
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:18,320
Speaker 5: Right, right, right, whether you are in you know, because

672
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:21,640
Speaker 5: you live in America and there's so many different religions,

673
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:25,360
Speaker 5: you blame that religion, right, you blamed right, that person

674
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:27,960
Speaker 5: in their background. But if you're in the whole Muslim country,

675
00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:30,120
Speaker 5: that's just a bad apple, right, right, if you're in

676
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:32,040
Speaker 5: a whole Christian country, are just a bad Christian.

677
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:32,680
Speaker 1: Right.

678
00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:36,400
Speaker 5: But because there's so many different religions, No, that's the Muslims,

679
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:37,640
Speaker 5: that's the Christians.

680
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:40,640
Speaker 1: No, that's that nick, that's as sis, right.

681
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:45,360
Speaker 5: So I think that we overgeneralize based on our personal experiences, right,

682
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:47,840
Speaker 5: and so we don't really think about you know, that's

683
00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:49,120
Speaker 5: just that's my environment.

684
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:50,640
Speaker 1: And so same.

685
00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:53,320
Speaker 5: Idea that there's no true black on black crime. It's

686
00:31:53,400 --> 00:31:56,360
Speaker 5: just proximity. Right, there was that's who he had to

687
00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:58,440
Speaker 5: rob because that was the closest person. You had money

688
00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:00,680
Speaker 5: to him, right, That's who he got into it that

689
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:03,600
Speaker 5: they didn'tuldn't solve the conflict. He shot that person, right,

690
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:06,280
Speaker 5: He wasn't particularly just seeking a black person, but he

691
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:09,680
Speaker 5: don't live next to white people, right, and so therefore

692
00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:13,280
Speaker 5: it looks like it's it's self hate, but it's really environment, right,

693
00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:15,080
Speaker 5: And so it's kind of learning.

694
00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:17,560
Speaker 1: How to see outside of that box. Right. But now

695
00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 1: it's being played so well right.

696
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:24,720
Speaker 5: That you know the world, like the world is screaming

697
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:27,520
Speaker 5: for I believe right in my thesis is you know

698
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:31,760
Speaker 5: twenty twenty two one. Everybody talking about masculinity and femininity

699
00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:34,960
Speaker 5: and toxicity. But the reality of it is, if you

700
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:37,640
Speaker 5: really look at it, I just think that they didn't

701
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:41,400
Speaker 5: know how to ask for what was the solution. Only

702
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:44,320
Speaker 5: people knew how to talk about what was the problem. Right,

703
00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:47,160
Speaker 5: that's what most people know is just the problem. Oh,

704
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:49,520
Speaker 5: this is toxic masculiney. That's not what That's not what

705
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:52,320
Speaker 5: you're saying, right, No, it's the lack of fathers.

706
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:54,920
Speaker 1: It's the lack of masculinity in the household.

707
00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:59,280
Speaker 5: That's why children are decreasing in you know, opportunities and

708
00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:02,280
Speaker 5: end up crimes and right, women who.

709
00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:04,640
Speaker 1: Are without a father and the household end up being

710
00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:07,719
Speaker 1: more promiscuous. That's just a fact. It's not something I

711
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:08,360
Speaker 1: came up with.

712
00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:11,480
Speaker 3: Fact, it's a fact women who had grow up without

713
00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:13,400
Speaker 3: fathers tend to be more promiscuous.

714
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:15,320
Speaker 5: That is a statistical thing, and you can look it

715
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:21,080
Speaker 5: up now. But well, they do studies, well, yes, people

716
00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:24,000
Speaker 5: are pretty honest. They do studies along with people, and

717
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:26,520
Speaker 5: then they do you know, surveys, and then they figure

718
00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:28,160
Speaker 5: these things out and they do the year to year

719
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:29,280
Speaker 5: to figure these things out.

720
00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:30,760
Speaker 1: But it was more so.

721
00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:33,280
Speaker 5: Based upon the fact that if you take a two

722
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:36,000
Speaker 5: parent household, that child has you know, a greater chance

723
00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:39,200
Speaker 5: of you know, being healthy, right and possibly successful and normal.

724
00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:42,640
Speaker 5: Versus a single mom household, they have a decreased opportunity

725
00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:43,240
Speaker 5: versus if.

726
00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:44,440
Speaker 1: That child was with their father.

727
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:47,720
Speaker 5: Right, So that child living with their father has the

728
00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:50,920
Speaker 5: same opportunity that child growing up in a two parent household.

729
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:54,040
Speaker 1: Really, yes, versus if that child has a single mother.

730
00:33:58,360 --> 00:33:59,520
Speaker 1: The world got dirty.

731
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:01,040
Speaker 4: Issues biography on this hold.

732
00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:04,479
Speaker 1: Let's just talk about it. We can understand it logically.

733
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:07,960
Speaker 2: I'm curious. I mean, I listen, you're talking to two single,

734
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:12,600
Speaker 2: single black mothers. Huh who I. Of course, more than anything,

735
00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:14,279
Speaker 2: I wish I could have. I wish me and my

736
00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:15,480
Speaker 2: partner could have stayed together.

737
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:16,080
Speaker 1: Should have worked it out.

738
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:19,480
Speaker 2: Unfortunately that just wasn't conducive to either one of our happiness.

739
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:26,560
Speaker 2: So you're telling me that my daughter living with her

740
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:32,560
Speaker 2: father is statistically she's in a better position of are

741
00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:35,200
Speaker 2: basically going to grow up with this? I with this?

742
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:39,880
Speaker 2: I guess, masculine, No, no, no, it's it's the two parent household, right, Like,

743
00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:43,920
Speaker 2: So a child who grows up with her father has is.

744
00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:47,640
Speaker 3: Basically has as much of a chance as if they

745
00:34:47,640 --> 00:34:50,319
Speaker 3: grew up in the two parent household versus just the mother,

746
00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:52,080
Speaker 3: I beg to differ.

747
00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:54,640
Speaker 4: I feel like most women, there's a level.

748
00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:57,080
Speaker 2: Of nurturing that isn't that isn't going to be present.

749
00:34:57,880 --> 00:35:02,120
Speaker 2: There's a level of I just feel like emotional intelligence

750
00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:04,000
Speaker 2: that is not going to be present. And not to

751
00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:06,120
Speaker 2: say that men are not emotionally intelligent, because I think

752
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 2: that there are men that are, but there's a lot

753
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:13,080
Speaker 2: of men that are emotionally inept. And I think that

754
00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:19,560
Speaker 2: women generally are a little more mature. And yes, this,

755
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:23,680
Speaker 2: I believe that two parent home is ideal. That is

756
00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:25,880
Speaker 2: that is ideal. I want that if I ever have

757
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:29,480
Speaker 2: another child, Absolutely that is my hope and prayer. But

758
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:32,440
Speaker 2: I'm not going to stay in a relationship that doesn't

759
00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:36,440
Speaker 2: serve me or the family, you know. So I'm just

760
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:40,840
Speaker 2: curious how the father takes on this role of the

761
00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:42,080
Speaker 2: two parents.

762
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:43,839
Speaker 4: Better than maybe just the mother.

763
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:47,239
Speaker 5: Yeah, well, she got to look at what the child needs, right,

764
00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:50,160
Speaker 5: you know, Like specifically, I say, for a boy first, right,

765
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:54,239
Speaker 5: you know, a boy does not want to become his mother, right,

766
00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:56,759
Speaker 5: So therefore a boy gonnaturally rebel against his mother because

767
00:35:56,760 --> 00:35:59,080
Speaker 5: that's not who he wants to be. So your thoughts

768
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:00,719
Speaker 5: are not my thoughts. As a man, I don't think

769
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:02,560
Speaker 5: like you. So the way you'll go about solving a

770
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:04,719
Speaker 5: problem thinking about things is not how I'm going to

771
00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:06,600
Speaker 5: If I take on your thinking, I'm gonna take on

772
00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:07,400
Speaker 5: feminine thinking.

773
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:08,840
Speaker 1: That's not my first mind.

774
00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:11,319
Speaker 5: So I'm naturally going to rebel against the things that

775
00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:13,719
Speaker 5: you'll say, because I don't want to become you. A

776
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:16,680
Speaker 5: child wants to become their father, right, The son wants

777
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:17,880
Speaker 5: to become their father.

778
00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:21,160
Speaker 1: That's what you look up to right in that household.

779
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:24,480
Speaker 1: But that's now.

780
00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:26,719
Speaker 5: You're talking about a completely different dynamic. We're just talking

781
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:27,360
Speaker 5: about a father.

782
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:28,040
Speaker 1: Right.

783
00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:31,319
Speaker 5: So young even when a father is not a good man,

784
00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:33,440
Speaker 5: their young boy still wants to know their father. They

785
00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:36,800
Speaker 5: need to know what's inside them. It's it's actually very important.

786
00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:39,560
Speaker 5: A father is like a mountain for a child.

787
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:40,160
Speaker 1: Right.

788
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:43,279
Speaker 5: The child gets to a point where you know, you

789
00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:45,640
Speaker 5: cross that mountain, where you reach the top, and you

790
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:47,040
Speaker 5: went further than your father.

791
00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:50,839
Speaker 1: Right, And that's the journey of every child. Right, that's

792
00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:51,319
Speaker 1: your hero.

793
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:54,520
Speaker 5: Even for young girls, their hero is their father. Right,

794
00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:56,239
Speaker 5: that's the one that's going out in the world. They

795
00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:58,040
Speaker 5: can't wait for their father to come back home to

796
00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:00,439
Speaker 5: teach them, to protect them, to consul them.

797
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:04,040
Speaker 1: Right. And when as a young boy, if you looking

798
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:05,280
Speaker 1: up to your father, whether.

799
00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:06,880
Speaker 5: You think he's a good man or not, the child

800
00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:08,880
Speaker 5: don't know that. The child don't know the difference between

801
00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:11,719
Speaker 5: us father being moral and moral. They just know that

802
00:37:11,719 --> 00:37:15,000
Speaker 5: that's their father, right, and so they need something for

803
00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:15,560
Speaker 5: their father.

804
00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:18,319
Speaker 1: They need their comforting, They need that protection, right.

805
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:21,560
Speaker 5: Don't get that, then they start to seek it outside

806
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:22,000
Speaker 5: the house.

807
00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:23,839
Speaker 1: They can't get that in the mom.

808
00:37:24,239 --> 00:37:26,000
Speaker 5: They're still going to miss that, and they're going to

809
00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:28,839
Speaker 5: miss that masculine energy. So what a lot of men

810
00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:31,600
Speaker 5: join gangs, A lot of men get into groups, right,

811
00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:34,720
Speaker 5: they start to seek that in so many different ways,

812
00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:38,160
Speaker 5: of that masculine comfort, right, same thing with young women.

813
00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:39,840
Speaker 1: They seek that in men.

814
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:43,080
Speaker 5: They didn't have their father, So that's where the permiscurity

815
00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:43,960
Speaker 5: starts to permit.

816
00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:44,799
Speaker 1: Right.

817
00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:47,400
Speaker 5: But the father is a guiding force, right, It's that

818
00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:49,560
Speaker 5: strong voice that you have.

819
00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:50,439
Speaker 2: Right.

820
00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:53,800
Speaker 1: And so even oftentimes when a child, even if.

821
00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:56,240
Speaker 5: The father is not or the man is not good,

822
00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:59,200
Speaker 5: a child doesn't see that, doesn't know that. All he

823
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:01,080
Speaker 5: knows that that's what they want their father. You have

824
00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:03,160
Speaker 5: an idea of who your father is, and you want

825
00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:05,280
Speaker 5: your father to uphold that idea.

826
00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:08,440
Speaker 1: Right, And when you look at society.

827
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:12,560
Speaker 5: Today, well that's not all fathers Like black men are

828
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:15,360
Speaker 5: in their children's lives more than any other men and

829
00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:17,160
Speaker 5: spend more time with their children than.

830
00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:21,000
Speaker 1: Any other men. Right, that's just that's a known fact. Right.

831
00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:23,839
Speaker 5: There are many great black fathers. And the problem is

832
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:27,640
Speaker 5: is that is Black fatherhood is not heralded at all.

833
00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:30,920
Speaker 5: Black fatherhood is known as like an enemy, that's the

834
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:35,400
Speaker 5: baby daddy, right, And so instead with itout being celebrated,

835
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:38,600
Speaker 5: you have all these people with daddy issues. They never

836
00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:41,359
Speaker 5: get over it ever, right, and they go their whole

837
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:44,880
Speaker 5: life not even knowing that their perspective, the ideology, their philosophies,

838
00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:47,920
Speaker 5: their ways, their emotions, right, have never been dealt with.

839
00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:49,879
Speaker 5: Shout out to Kendrick, you made that beautiful song.

840
00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:52,760
Speaker 1: Daddy issues, right. Men don't know how to become men.

841
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:54,920
Speaker 5: Right because they never had a father in their household

842
00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:57,560
Speaker 5: that taught them how to deal with those emotions. Wait

843
00:38:57,560 --> 00:38:59,960
Speaker 5: a minute, son, this is how you go through this process.

844
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:04,239
Speaker 2: So so for them, so for the women that are

845
00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:07,320
Speaker 2: single moms, that have boys. I mean, this is something

846
00:39:07,360 --> 00:39:11,080
Speaker 2: that you know, I think is also as important. And

847
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:13,600
Speaker 2: I've shared this too, is I think how important it

848
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:16,400
Speaker 2: is Say your father is doesn't want to be in

849
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:21,120
Speaker 2: the picture, say that father has passed away, is in

850
00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:27,799
Speaker 2: your opinion, a second runner up would be for that

851
00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:31,719
Speaker 2: woman to make sure that that son has positive male

852
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:35,000
Speaker 2: figures in his life. Or is that enough? Is that enough?

853
00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:39,440
Speaker 5: I don't think anything can absolutely replace a biological father.

854
00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:42,839
Speaker 5: That that just the normality of having a biological father.

855
00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:44,320
Speaker 5: You come from that like part.

856
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:46,640
Speaker 1: Of you is him. That's that's the essence, right, So

857
00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:47,399
Speaker 1: that's who you are.

858
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:51,960
Speaker 5: So there's like things about your father that even his flaws,

859
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:54,759
Speaker 5: you have to know about so you can overcome them. Right,

860
00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:56,680
Speaker 5: Like he let's say that he was addicted to drugs.

861
00:39:56,719 --> 00:39:58,440
Speaker 5: You need to know that you might smoke weed not

862
00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:01,759
Speaker 5: knowing that this is a day that you got from him, right,

863
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:02,680
Speaker 5: So learning your.

864
00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:03,920
Speaker 1: Father allows you to go above.

865
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:06,839
Speaker 5: Right, you look at your father and this is the

866
00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:09,839
Speaker 5: mountain that you must climb. This is the peak that

867
00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:12,800
Speaker 5: you must go over. You like, a father spoiling his

868
00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:16,279
Speaker 5: child is not good. Our father is supposed to give

869
00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:20,120
Speaker 5: that child the opportunity to grow and develop, right, and

870
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:23,640
Speaker 5: you don't you know, grow your child or your sons,

871
00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:26,839
Speaker 5: particularly in fear, because some fathers do that. They don't

872
00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:28,520
Speaker 5: want them sons to be better than them. You supposed

873
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:30,000
Speaker 5: to grow your son not to be like you, but

874
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:32,239
Speaker 5: to be better than you. That's the journey of a

875
00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:35,680
Speaker 5: good father. Right now, if a you know, you don't

876
00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:38,360
Speaker 5: have a fall in the household, not there whatever reason,

877
00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:40,920
Speaker 5: that child, Like I said, it's no way to just

878
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:43,840
Speaker 5: replace that, Like you can't replace a mother right completely,

879
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:46,759
Speaker 5: like that biological mother, that biological essence. We have an

880
00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:51,560
Speaker 5: attachment to that regardless. But now having that masculine energy

881
00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:54,120
Speaker 5: or that feminine energy can be replaced.

882
00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:56,200
Speaker 1: Right, So a good.

883
00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:59,120
Speaker 5: You know, mentor or role model or you know, back

884
00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:02,719
Speaker 5: in the day, it wasn't just single homes. These was communities, right,

885
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:06,560
Speaker 5: so there were many men that were helping raise that child,

886
00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:08,520
Speaker 5: many women that were helping raise that child.

887
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:12,000
Speaker 1: You can go to elders. Nowadays we just don't have that, right.

888
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:15,280
Speaker 5: We have a lot of household where there's a singular

889
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:18,600
Speaker 5: authority and then that child has to rebel against that

890
00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:19,279
Speaker 5: all listen to that.

891
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:22,919
Speaker 2: Are you a proponent of women like sticking it out,

892
00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:27,520
Speaker 2: like sticking it through, like just all the perils of relationship.

893
00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:29,880
Speaker 2: Like I'm curious, like at what point.

894
00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:31,920
Speaker 1: All the perils at what point?

895
00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:35,840
Speaker 2: At what point? Like what is a good enough reason?

896
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:39,120
Speaker 3: I think, Okay, I'm sorry, I'm kunding you off. I

897
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:43,319
Speaker 3: think the like not the issue. But I think just

898
00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:46,200
Speaker 3: like we talked about language and programming in the society

899
00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:48,279
Speaker 3: in which we live in because we're women and we're

900
00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:52,600
Speaker 3: single moms, and we talked about this, Like I think

901
00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:54,920
Speaker 3: for women, when there comes a time like maybe you

902
00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:57,879
Speaker 3: have a kid with someone and it is not working

903
00:41:57,920 --> 00:42:01,920
Speaker 3: out for whatever reason, I belie leave heavily that, Like,

904
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:04,800
Speaker 3: especially for black women, the stigma of being a single

905
00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:07,960
Speaker 3: black mom is so heavy. Is that a lot of

906
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:10,719
Speaker 3: times we are conditioned as women that I'm going to

907
00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:13,319
Speaker 3: stick this out for my fam, for this family unit,

908
00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:17,160
Speaker 3: so that I can give my child this two parent home,

909
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:20,400
Speaker 3: because this is the epitome, Like this is the success

910
00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:22,240
Speaker 3: of you know, like a black family.

911
00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:25,600
Speaker 4: And I think it sometimes using that.

912
00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:30,040
Speaker 3: Like obviously, yes, if I could in a perfect world,

913
00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:32,200
Speaker 3: we would be with those people and everything would be

914
00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:37,799
Speaker 3: you know, hunky dory family matters. But if we are

915
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:40,680
Speaker 3: not being really like the language that we use around that.

916
00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:42,920
Speaker 3: It has to be like, I don't think men feel

917
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:45,640
Speaker 3: that way. If a man has a baby with someone

918
00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:47,600
Speaker 3: and it's not working out, they are like, all right,

919
00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:50,839
Speaker 3: it's not working out, I'm out. But the levels that

920
00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:55,000
Speaker 3: women like, the stigma that women feel, the disappointment that

921
00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:59,080
Speaker 3: women feel about lead like tearing your family apart is

922
00:42:59,640 --> 00:43:02,319
Speaker 3: sometimes I'm so deeply ingrained in us that I know

923
00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:05,960
Speaker 3: so many women. I've witnessed women stay in situations and

924
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:09,480
Speaker 3: relationships that do not serve them. And a lot of times,

925
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:11,920
Speaker 3: if it's not serving you, it's not serving your child,

926
00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:15,520
Speaker 3: So it's not serving the bigger picture, because your child

927
00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:17,919
Speaker 3: feels all of that shit. You know, you can't hide,

928
00:43:18,040 --> 00:43:21,480
Speaker 3: Like children have the highest emotional intelligence because they're closer

929
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:24,080
Speaker 3: to source. So if you like, if you're sticking it

930
00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:26,319
Speaker 3: out to be in a relationship because you think that

931
00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:30,680
Speaker 3: I'm gonna beat this stigma, that is not always the

932
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:34,840
Speaker 3: programming we should be given, giving like moms and women,

933
00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:37,799
Speaker 3: because yes, I think it's in our nature to try

934
00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:40,719
Speaker 3: and make that shit work. Because as black women, we've

935
00:43:40,760 --> 00:43:43,400
Speaker 3: seen so often in the media, you know, like the

936
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:46,680
Speaker 3: baby mama stigma. I'm gonna be on welfare. I'm gonna

937
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:49,000
Speaker 3: be broke. It's like this saving Isaiah. I always make

938
00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:50,880
Speaker 3: this example because it sticks out of my head as

939
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:53,480
Speaker 3: a child of fucking Holly Berry, like strung out and

940
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:57,279
Speaker 3: fighting things. I say, I'm sorry, I'm fucking the movie yet,

941
00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:00,759
Speaker 3: but it's stuck with me and I and even I

942
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:02,759
Speaker 3: saw my mom stay with my dad for years. They

943
00:44:02,760 --> 00:44:06,080
Speaker 3: were gathered for years, not emotionally evolved enough to be

944
00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:09,640
Speaker 3: in a relationship. And the granted they did and I'm fine,

945
00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:13,759
Speaker 3: I think I'm in therapy, but like that was one

946
00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:15,560
Speaker 3: of the biggest thing in my relationships when I saw

947
00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:18,239
Speaker 3: that that person my you know, my child's father wasn't

948
00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:20,960
Speaker 3: growing at the same rate as me and I wasn't growing,

949
00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:23,480
Speaker 3: and it wasn't productive for either of us.

950
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:24,400
Speaker 4: Or for my child.

951
00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:26,600
Speaker 3: I made the best decision for me to walk away

952
00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:29,480
Speaker 3: because I saw my mom not walk away and evolve

953
00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:31,560
Speaker 3: to a complete person. I mean she's a complete person,

954
00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:34,160
Speaker 3: but like it took time, you know, after the fact.

955
00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:36,120
Speaker 3: So I just think, like, we have to be careful

956
00:44:36,120 --> 00:44:38,200
Speaker 3: of the language you use around it, because women will

957
00:44:38,239 --> 00:44:41,279
Speaker 3: settle into that and fight so hard for a relationship

958
00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:43,799
Speaker 3: and for a family structure that may not really be

959
00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:47,919
Speaker 3: the best for that child because it's not healthy. And

960
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:50,640
Speaker 3: you know, I have them in a new relationship and

961
00:44:50,719 --> 00:44:52,959
Speaker 3: I've grown. I had a baby when I was twenty six,

962
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:54,920
Speaker 3: and I was a baby, and I there are things

963
00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:57,200
Speaker 3: that I was totally unaware of that I should be

964
00:44:57,280 --> 00:44:59,360
Speaker 3: checking off a list of having a child with someone.

965
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:02,320
Speaker 3: But now being in a healthy relationship and a mature

966
00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:06,239
Speaker 3: relationship where we're clear about our family structure and that

967
00:45:06,239 --> 00:45:09,680
Speaker 3: we're breaking generational you know, traumas and things that didn't

968
00:45:09,680 --> 00:45:12,239
Speaker 3: work out in our in our like in our personal

969
00:45:12,360 --> 00:45:15,440
Speaker 3: you know, family dynamics, and we're changing that actively.

970
00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:17,799
Speaker 4: I understand completely.

971
00:45:18,560 --> 00:45:22,480
Speaker 3: Like a healthy relationship has made me, like being a

972
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:23,240
Speaker 3: mother easier.

973
00:45:23,719 --> 00:45:24,600
Speaker 4: It's made me.

974
00:45:24,719 --> 00:45:27,080
Speaker 3: Be a better mother because I have support in a

975
00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:29,800
Speaker 3: healthy way. But I've also been in a relationship where

976
00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:33,719
Speaker 3: it drained me and I was like a skeleton of

977
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:36,719
Speaker 3: the version of myself than I am now. And so

978
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:38,880
Speaker 3: I just like I want to always like be clear

979
00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:42,080
Speaker 3: to women that are listening or reading or whatever, like

980
00:45:42,239 --> 00:45:45,520
Speaker 3: you don't have like being in an unhealthy relationship with

981
00:45:45,640 --> 00:45:48,399
Speaker 3: your partner, even if it is your child's father, if

982
00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:51,080
Speaker 3: it does not serve either of you and you cannot

983
00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:54,000
Speaker 3: get past that it is not like necessarily healthy to

984
00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:55,399
Speaker 3: try and like make it work.

985
00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:57,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, now see, I think you said something key on

986
00:45:57,960 --> 00:46:00,200
Speaker 5: the second part of what you're explaining. You found a

987
00:46:00,239 --> 00:46:03,440
Speaker 5: healthy relationship dynamic that works for you, right. I was

988
00:46:03,480 --> 00:46:06,920
Speaker 5: explaining in the first beginning of what works right now.

989
00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:08,960
Speaker 1: How you make your work, that's up to you.

990
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:12,120
Speaker 5: But what works is a healthy dynamic right of a

991
00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:16,239
Speaker 5: two parent household, right where you know that child gets

992
00:46:16,239 --> 00:46:21,000
Speaker 5: to participate in the development with masculine and feminine getting

993
00:46:21,040 --> 00:46:23,680
Speaker 5: along and helping that child be reared and developed.

994
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:24,080
Speaker 1: Right.

995
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:28,080
Speaker 5: And so that's the whole entire key right, because you

996
00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:31,279
Speaker 5: just explained what works right now. The problem that those

997
00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:34,480
Speaker 5: other things didn't work because you know, they weren't healthy,

998
00:46:34,560 --> 00:46:37,520
Speaker 5: they weren't right, right, And then that's because of a

999
00:46:37,640 --> 00:46:39,799
Speaker 5: cycle of things that weren't right before both of you

1000
00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:43,799
Speaker 5: are right, And so what we're talking about is how

1001
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:47,040
Speaker 5: do you break the cycle? Right, So we talk about

1002
00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:52,160
Speaker 5: creating healthy dynamics before children, right that you know, what

1003
00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:54,680
Speaker 5: is the expectation of being a husband, what is the

1004
00:46:54,719 --> 00:46:57,080
Speaker 5: expectation of being a wife, what is the expectation of

1005
00:46:57,080 --> 00:47:00,200
Speaker 5: being a mother, what's the expectation of being a father? Right,

1006
00:47:00,239 --> 00:47:03,319
Speaker 5: We're not talking about just passionate love and romanticism. We're

1007
00:47:03,360 --> 00:47:07,000
Speaker 5: talking about the duty that both people are going into. Right,

1008
00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:10,520
Speaker 5: what's the long term vision and the expectation that child is.

1009
00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:12,439
Speaker 1: Going to have to live in? Right?

1010
00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:15,040
Speaker 5: That reality that you all create for them, Well, that

1011
00:47:15,160 --> 00:47:17,960
Speaker 5: lack of conversation, that you didn't have the maturity of

1012
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:20,799
Speaker 5: picking the wrong people or being together at the wrong time,

1013
00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:23,680
Speaker 5: that's not the child's fault that the dynamic was that

1014
00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:25,920
Speaker 5: between their parents, but they have to live through that,

1015
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:29,480
Speaker 5: and the consequences are their development because that's their environment.

1016
00:47:29,880 --> 00:47:33,080
Speaker 5: So that produces their outcome partially of who they are.

1017
00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:34,680
Speaker 5: If they don't have the grit to be able to

1018
00:47:34,719 --> 00:47:35,480
Speaker 5: get over.

1019
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:38,160
Speaker 3: That, or they don't choose that, if you don't recognize, like, hey,

1020
00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:41,080
Speaker 3: we maybe made an early decision that we weren't really

1021
00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:43,879
Speaker 3: mature enough to make, and now the best healthy thing

1022
00:47:43,920 --> 00:47:46,080
Speaker 3: is for us to move away from each other and

1023
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:47,680
Speaker 3: do this in a co parenting and how right.

1024
00:47:47,719 --> 00:47:49,000
Speaker 1: And the co parenting is.

1025
00:47:48,920 --> 00:47:51,759
Speaker 5: The super key because the other side of that, you know,

1026
00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:54,719
Speaker 5: you got the whole the baby mama drama, you know,

1027
00:47:54,880 --> 00:47:57,680
Speaker 5: baby daddy drama. That's the issue, because the child suffers

1028
00:47:57,719 --> 00:48:00,320
Speaker 5: the most, absolutely right. The mother that hates the father,

1029
00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:03,319
Speaker 5: that child suffers the most. The father that hates the mother,

1030
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:06,560
Speaker 5: that child suffers. So your hate against this child's father

1031
00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:10,399
Speaker 5: or your hate against this child mother who suffers the child. Right,

1032
00:48:10,440 --> 00:48:12,319
Speaker 5: You can't have parents who hate each other. They gon

1033
00:48:12,360 --> 00:48:16,120
Speaker 5: feel that because that hate produced me. Right, So how

1034
00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:18,000
Speaker 5: y'all go, like, there has to be an aspect of

1035
00:48:18,040 --> 00:48:20,719
Speaker 5: you that treat that person with love because you love me.

1036
00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:24,560
Speaker 5: So that's respecting the child first and foremost, right, and

1037
00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:28,160
Speaker 5: so without that dynamic, that child doesn't get to see that. Right,

1038
00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:30,800
Speaker 5: those moments that you think the child may not know that,

1039
00:48:31,120 --> 00:48:34,200
Speaker 5: there's a lot of unconscious, rooted seeds that get planted

1040
00:48:34,239 --> 00:48:35,360
Speaker 5: in that child's development.

1041
00:48:35,719 --> 00:48:35,879
Speaker 1: Right.

1042
00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:37,880
Speaker 5: They may never say anything, and it may just be

1043
00:48:37,920 --> 00:48:39,239
Speaker 5: a part of them as they grow up.

1044
00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:40,239
Speaker 1: There's a lot of.

1045
00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:43,080
Speaker 5: Mother who may you know, father out the household may

1046
00:48:43,160 --> 00:48:46,399
Speaker 5: verbally talk about that man like he ain't shit. Now,

1047
00:48:46,440 --> 00:48:49,000
Speaker 5: that boy never wants to become that man, right, but

1048
00:48:49,080 --> 00:48:51,000
Speaker 5: he doesn't realize that. He doesn't know he don't want

1049
00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:54,120
Speaker 5: to become a man, right, not just his father. Right,

1050
00:48:54,200 --> 00:48:56,839
Speaker 5: because that's the way she spoke about men, So now

1051
00:48:56,880 --> 00:48:58,600
Speaker 5: you don't even want to become masculine because it just

1052
00:48:58,640 --> 00:49:02,960
Speaker 5: sounded so toxic. Right, And so you know, same thing

1053
00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:04,719
Speaker 5: with the father, do y'all mom? Main shit, she don't

1054
00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:08,080
Speaker 5: know this, So now she's not developing healthily, right because

1055
00:49:08,120 --> 00:49:11,120
Speaker 5: of y'all dynamics. So who gets the worst end of

1056
00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:14,120
Speaker 5: that is always the child, right, So what I was

1057
00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:16,280
Speaker 5: just explaining is the same thing a doctor would explain.

1058
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:19,120
Speaker 5: What's the remedy, right, what works and what doesn't work.

1059
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:20,960
Speaker 5: I don't personalize anything.

1060
00:49:20,680 --> 00:49:21,320
Speaker 1: I talk about.

1061
00:49:21,480 --> 00:49:23,799
Speaker 5: I just look at the high level overview, like these

1062
00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:26,600
Speaker 5: are the science, just the facts, the statistics, it's what

1063
00:49:26,680 --> 00:49:30,080
Speaker 5: will work. Then we have our personal feelings towards things

1064
00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:32,960
Speaker 5: because of our experiences, so we go look at and

1065
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:35,000
Speaker 5: perceive it based on that. But no, let's just look

1066
00:49:35,040 --> 00:49:38,319
Speaker 5: at the plain facts, right, Like a child would love

1067
00:49:38,520 --> 00:49:41,600
Speaker 5: to be in a healthy relationship and hope that their

1068
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:43,800
Speaker 5: parents made the right decision to find the right person

1069
00:49:43,920 --> 00:49:47,240
Speaker 5: before they were made so that they get the opportunity

1070
00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:49,080
Speaker 5: of growing up in a healthy dynamic.

1071
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:51,000
Speaker 4: Are you a product of a healthy dynamic?

1072
00:49:51,640 --> 00:49:51,839
Speaker 1: No?

1073
00:49:52,600 --> 00:49:53,720
Speaker 4: Are your parents still together?

1074
00:49:53,920 --> 00:49:55,440
Speaker 1: No?

1075
00:49:55,440 --> 00:50:00,919
Speaker 5: No, I've seen both sides, you know, I was with

1076
00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:02,480
Speaker 5: my mother born than I was with my father.

1077
00:50:03,200 --> 00:50:04,160
Speaker 1: I had to look at my.

1078
00:50:04,200 --> 00:50:07,640
Speaker 5: Parents as human beings, right, you know, So like I

1079
00:50:07,680 --> 00:50:11,120
Speaker 5: speak a lot of things from experience, right, I learned

1080
00:50:11,239 --> 00:50:14,960
Speaker 5: as an adult to understand my parents to not personalize

1081
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:17,200
Speaker 5: their dynamics because I was able to look at them

1082
00:50:17,239 --> 00:50:20,480
Speaker 5: for who they are, what they went through, what's their background,

1083
00:50:20,480 --> 00:50:23,120
Speaker 5: what they didn't have, what did happen to them? Right,

1084
00:50:23,200 --> 00:50:26,400
Speaker 5: And so instead of you know, me taking anything personal

1085
00:50:26,480 --> 00:50:28,600
Speaker 5: in between or what my mother said about my father,

1086
00:50:28,719 --> 00:50:31,279
Speaker 5: my father said about my mother, I understand why two

1087
00:50:31,280 --> 00:50:33,880
Speaker 5: people will say those things about each other based on

1088
00:50:34,040 --> 00:50:37,160
Speaker 5: who they are, right. So I remember I was young

1089
00:50:37,320 --> 00:50:38,920
Speaker 5: or how I was in my teens when I read

1090
00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:41,759
Speaker 5: a book about this, and it helped me understand the

1091
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:44,520
Speaker 5: dynamics so well that I was just able to forgive

1092
00:50:44,560 --> 00:50:46,920
Speaker 5: both of them. So I didn't hold that on to

1093
00:50:47,080 --> 00:50:49,759
Speaker 5: either one right for them not being together or my

1094
00:50:49,760 --> 00:50:51,799
Speaker 5: father not being there at times that he should have.

1095
00:50:52,080 --> 00:50:54,200
Speaker 2: Right for you when this dynamic changed for you.

1096
00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:59,680
Speaker 5: Early, So like I grew up, you know, mostly when

1097
00:50:59,719 --> 00:51:01,440
Speaker 5: I was younger, I grew up more of my father.

1098
00:51:01,760 --> 00:51:01,920
Speaker 1: Right.

1099
00:51:01,960 --> 00:51:03,960
Speaker 5: My mother ended up leaving and I stayed at the

1100
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:07,480
Speaker 5: house with my pops in Oakland. She went to Saint Louis, right,

1101
00:51:08,400 --> 00:51:10,560
Speaker 5: and then you know, Pops in not going back to

1102
00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:15,799
Speaker 5: Saint Louis. So I probably was like six five, very early, right,

1103
00:51:16,280 --> 00:51:19,680
Speaker 5: But I was always taught about you know, what is

1104
00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:20,719
Speaker 5: the healthy dynamic?

1105
00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:21,319
Speaker 1: Right.

1106
00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:23,440
Speaker 5: But I also always looked up even you know, the

1107
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:25,799
Speaker 5: things I heard my mother say about my father, I

1108
00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:28,120
Speaker 5: still looked up to my father because I wanted to

1109
00:51:28,120 --> 00:51:31,200
Speaker 5: become a man, and I know I came from him, right.

1110
00:51:31,239 --> 00:51:33,040
Speaker 5: And then I have an older brother and then he

1111
00:51:33,080 --> 00:51:35,759
Speaker 5: would give me game on what that dynamic is, right.

1112
00:51:35,800 --> 00:51:37,719
Speaker 5: So luckily I had somebody who could still guide and

1113
00:51:37,760 --> 00:51:40,080
Speaker 5: mold me right. But then I learned a lots from

1114
00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:42,560
Speaker 5: my father as well, where it's like just hearing the

1115
00:51:42,600 --> 00:51:44,600
Speaker 5: stories about my father and the things that he did

1116
00:51:44,600 --> 00:51:46,480
Speaker 5: tell me dropped so many seeds in me that I.

1117
00:51:46,440 --> 00:51:47,200
Speaker 1: Held on to him.

1118
00:51:47,520 --> 00:51:50,839
Speaker 5: But I think I'm a you know, I think I'm

1119
00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:54,239
Speaker 5: blessed to have great perspective and grit through things, right.

1120
00:51:54,280 --> 00:51:57,239
Speaker 5: I don't think everybody has that. Some people take things

1121
00:51:57,280 --> 00:52:00,120
Speaker 5: way more personal. Some people they can go through way

1122
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:02,879
Speaker 5: lesson and affects them way more. So I empathize with

1123
00:52:02,920 --> 00:52:07,000
Speaker 5: that dynamic. Things that make me better may destroy the

1124
00:52:07,040 --> 00:52:10,879
Speaker 5: next person, right, But I know that the dynamic would

1125
00:52:10,880 --> 00:52:13,440
Speaker 5: have been way better if my father and my mother

1126
00:52:13,560 --> 00:52:14,959
Speaker 5: had a healthy dynamic.

1127
00:52:14,719 --> 00:52:16,520
Speaker 2: Of course, I mean right, yeah.

1128
00:52:16,280 --> 00:52:19,560
Speaker 1: And you know, especially having they had nine children together.

1129
00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:21,400
Speaker 1: Oh wow, you did so.

1130
00:52:21,640 --> 00:52:24,680
Speaker 5: But I understand why those things feel. And you know,

1131
00:52:24,719 --> 00:52:27,680
Speaker 5: speaking to them both as adults, I've heard them have

1132
00:52:27,800 --> 00:52:30,919
Speaker 5: conversations with each other forty years later that they never

1133
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:34,640
Speaker 5: had and so like that communication part of just understanding

1134
00:52:34,680 --> 00:52:37,600
Speaker 5: like them, y'all both hold on to things, and you've

1135
00:52:37,640 --> 00:52:39,719
Speaker 5: never said the simple things to each other that would

1136
00:52:39,760 --> 00:52:43,399
Speaker 5: have let you understand this whole dynamic that you've had

1137
00:52:43,440 --> 00:52:44,800
Speaker 5: these last twenty thirty years.

1138
00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:47,600
Speaker 1: The stubbornness of adults.

1139
00:52:47,120 --> 00:52:50,040
Speaker 5: That believe they're mature, right, and all these things that

1140
00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:53,000
Speaker 5: you create, but you still can't communicate that little bit

1141
00:52:53,000 --> 00:52:55,560
Speaker 5: of feeling. Yet you raise a child to be emotionally intelligent.

1142
00:52:56,920 --> 00:52:59,239
Speaker 4: Do you think that dynamic because you're not a dad, right?

1143
00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:00,000
Speaker 1: No, not yet?

1144
00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:07,560
Speaker 3: Do you think that, yeah I got these nephews, did that?

1145
00:53:07,640 --> 00:53:11,919
Speaker 3: Has that dynamic made you more aware of? I mean

1146
00:53:12,040 --> 00:53:16,160
Speaker 3: essentially planning your seed like prematurely and absolutely?

1147
00:53:16,239 --> 00:53:20,279
Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, one thing I understand, you know, like

1148
00:53:20,360 --> 00:53:22,600
Speaker 5: you definitely want to make sure you're ready, like I've

1149
00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:23,920
Speaker 5: you know, I got like I said, I got a

1150
00:53:23,920 --> 00:53:25,120
Speaker 5: lot of nieces and nephews.

1151
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:27,640
Speaker 1: So I've seen it not work a lot, right, I've

1152
00:53:27,640 --> 00:53:28,040
Speaker 1: seen it.

1153
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:32,600
Speaker 5: Work, so, you know, and I've seen the hardships of

1154
00:53:32,640 --> 00:53:34,800
Speaker 5: what the single mother goes through. I've seen the hardships

1155
00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:35,080
Speaker 5: of what the.

1156
00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:35,919
Speaker 1: Father goes through.

1157
00:53:35,960 --> 00:53:38,480
Speaker 5: I've seen the CPS in the household, right, I've seen

1158
00:53:38,680 --> 00:53:39,600
Speaker 5: with the child support.

1159
00:53:39,600 --> 00:53:40,279
Speaker 1: I've seen what the.

1160
00:53:40,239 --> 00:53:42,920
Speaker 5: Hate of two people in the dynamic does to that

1161
00:53:43,040 --> 00:53:47,239
Speaker 5: child more so than anything, you know. So when I

1162
00:53:47,280 --> 00:53:50,319
Speaker 5: think about the thing about being super intentional and where

1163
00:53:50,320 --> 00:53:52,200
Speaker 5: we would have to be at a place in our life,

1164
00:53:52,239 --> 00:53:54,200
Speaker 5: because you got to think so far ahead.

1165
00:53:54,280 --> 00:53:55,400
Speaker 1: Your love can be great.

1166
00:53:55,280 --> 00:53:57,560
Speaker 5: Right now, but how does the dynamic of that child

1167
00:53:57,640 --> 00:54:00,439
Speaker 5: change everything? Because you're going to become a different person

1168
00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:03,440
Speaker 5: when you have a child, right, I'm you know, as

1169
00:54:03,480 --> 00:54:05,560
Speaker 5: a man, I don't go through physiological changes.

1170
00:54:05,640 --> 00:54:07,560
Speaker 1: I don't go through those things. Mine are all.

1171
00:54:07,560 --> 00:54:10,840
Speaker 5: Mental preparation and readiness. It's a different kind of energy

1172
00:54:10,880 --> 00:54:13,520
Speaker 5: for me to get be ready for different responsibilities than

1173
00:54:13,560 --> 00:54:17,319
Speaker 5: it is for you. You literally, your whole entire body changes, Right,

1174
00:54:17,400 --> 00:54:19,279
Speaker 5: So it has to be a mental thing and an

1175
00:54:19,280 --> 00:54:21,920
Speaker 5: empathetic thing that a man goes through. But I know

1176
00:54:22,040 --> 00:54:24,560
Speaker 5: that for a woman to have a child before she's ready,

1177
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:27,200
Speaker 5: I think it's some of the worst things you could do.

1178
00:54:27,239 --> 00:54:31,080
Speaker 5: You understand me, because there's going to be regrets within

1179
00:54:31,200 --> 00:54:32,120
Speaker 5: that process.

1180
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:34,359
Speaker 1: Right. It may not come out now, but it may

1181
00:54:34,360 --> 00:54:35,359
Speaker 1: come out in a year later.

1182
00:54:35,960 --> 00:54:38,359
Speaker 5: Right, you may just you know, a woman goes through

1183
00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:41,439
Speaker 5: postpartum depression. Sometimes she goes through bodily change. She start

1184
00:54:41,480 --> 00:54:43,319
Speaker 5: thinking the things she giving up, what kind of life

1185
00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:46,239
Speaker 5: she could have lived. She may go through hormonal change.

1186
00:54:46,280 --> 00:54:48,000
Speaker 5: Now she's mad at you are things that didn't make

1187
00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:51,520
Speaker 5: her mad at first. Right, So there's so many different

1188
00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:53,640
Speaker 5: dynamics that go into that. And now we live in

1189
00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:56,840
Speaker 5: different kind of societies today. It's not the same society

1190
00:54:56,880 --> 00:54:59,920
Speaker 5: our parents lived in. They grandparents lived it, they will

1191
00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:01,320
Speaker 5: I don't know if they could make it through the

1192
00:55:01,320 --> 00:55:03,319
Speaker 5: world that we live in today because of the way

1193
00:55:03,320 --> 00:55:04,000
Speaker 5: the world is.

1194
00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:06,360
Speaker 1: So we have to practice new things.

1195
00:55:06,800 --> 00:55:08,440
Speaker 3: And then I think a lot of times like people

1196
00:55:08,440 --> 00:55:12,719
Speaker 3: are pro creating and getting in relationships for survival, and

1197
00:55:12,960 --> 00:55:15,000
Speaker 3: you know, I think it's important. I know we are

1198
00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:17,440
Speaker 3: a platform for a lot of moms and a lot

1199
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:18,560
Speaker 3: of women, and I know we have a lot of

1200
00:55:18,600 --> 00:55:22,799
Speaker 3: listeners who are not moms yet or parents, and as

1201
00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:26,640
Speaker 3: you talk about like issues and discussing the things that

1202
00:55:26,800 --> 00:55:29,520
Speaker 3: not with just the issues, but how can we prevent

1203
00:55:29,560 --> 00:55:35,920
Speaker 3: the issue from continuing? Is like listen, love is not enough, okay,

1204
00:55:36,400 --> 00:55:40,080
Speaker 3: Like potential is not always enough and you are not

1205
00:55:40,360 --> 00:55:43,120
Speaker 3: Like waiting is not going to kill you. In fact,

1206
00:55:43,200 --> 00:55:45,000
Speaker 3: it's going to make you so much more happy. And

1207
00:55:45,040 --> 00:55:47,160
Speaker 3: like that's another thing, like I even you know, my

1208
00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:49,359
Speaker 3: daughter goes to the elementary school that I went to

1209
00:55:49,719 --> 00:55:51,840
Speaker 3: down the street, same amount of black people are like

1210
00:55:51,960 --> 00:55:54,960
Speaker 3: a sprinkle And I'm like, damn, these moms look old.

1211
00:55:55,080 --> 00:55:57,240
Speaker 4: But I'm like, no, bitch, they're smart.

1212
00:55:58,680 --> 00:56:02,160
Speaker 3: They got married, they established themselves, and then they met

1213
00:56:02,160 --> 00:56:04,040
Speaker 3: old Johnny and they got and they had a baby

1214
00:56:04,080 --> 00:56:05,759
Speaker 3: at forty you know what I'm saying. And in our

1215
00:56:05,800 --> 00:56:08,640
Speaker 3: minds like that's not necessarily like the image that I

1216
00:56:08,680 --> 00:56:11,080
Speaker 3: saw because look at me, I'm like they're old, Like

1217
00:56:11,120 --> 00:56:18,640
Speaker 3: well they're whit a but the same age, Like wow,

1218
00:56:18,760 --> 00:56:23,880
Speaker 3: you look so young, like we are the same age.

1219
00:56:24,280 --> 00:56:27,000
Speaker 3: But you know, like like like when you think of

1220
00:56:27,840 --> 00:56:30,759
Speaker 3: just the media and like the black family structure and

1221
00:56:30,800 --> 00:56:33,000
Speaker 3: how often we see a healthy version of that, and like,

1222
00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:35,440
Speaker 3: you know, it's just like we don't have sitcoms anymore.

1223
00:56:35,440 --> 00:56:38,040
Speaker 3: We have fucking lemon hip hop. You know, bitch fighting

1224
00:56:38,080 --> 00:56:41,640
Speaker 3: over one ain't shit, nigga, like what you know? And

1225
00:56:41,680 --> 00:56:45,399
Speaker 3: then you know, women are and men, young men are

1226
00:56:45,480 --> 00:56:47,239
Speaker 3: seeing these images and I'm like, oh, I'm gonna haveving

1227
00:56:47,239 --> 00:56:48,920
Speaker 3: me a baby too, I'm gonna get me a baller,

1228
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:50,920
Speaker 3: you know, and not just say like that's everybody's thinking.

1229
00:56:51,120 --> 00:56:55,440
Speaker 3: And I know we're all evolving constantly, but truly had

1230
00:56:55,880 --> 00:56:57,200
Speaker 3: I mean, and of course my parents were like, you

1231
00:56:57,200 --> 00:56:58,759
Speaker 3: don't need to have a baby. I was twenty six.

1232
00:56:58,880 --> 00:57:01,600
Speaker 3: But you think you know everything, but just take it

1233
00:57:01,640 --> 00:57:05,040
Speaker 3: from two bitches who had babies, broke up with people

1234
00:57:05,120 --> 00:57:06,480
Speaker 3: that they thought they were going to spend the rest

1235
00:57:06,520 --> 00:57:09,520
Speaker 3: of their lives with engage and love. I had a

1236
00:57:09,560 --> 00:57:12,279
Speaker 3: baby with my high school sweetheart, and I loved him

1237
00:57:12,480 --> 00:57:15,279
Speaker 3: and he served a purpose for that portion of my life,

1238
00:57:15,680 --> 00:57:19,080
Speaker 3: to that level of a maturity that I was at

1239
00:57:19,080 --> 00:57:21,920
Speaker 3: that point that I hadn't I wasn't intentional about my

1240
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:22,640
Speaker 3: own healing.

1241
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:23,960
Speaker 4: I wasn't intentional.

1242
00:57:24,040 --> 00:57:27,200
Speaker 3: I'd had hopes and high dreams because that the idea

1243
00:57:27,280 --> 00:57:30,480
Speaker 3: of it felt good, you know, like I'm gonna.

1244
00:57:30,160 --> 00:57:33,160
Speaker 4: Break the fa the black family dynamic and be a unit.

1245
00:57:33,360 --> 00:57:34,440
Speaker 1: Man. That sounds beautiful to me.

1246
00:57:34,680 --> 00:57:38,600
Speaker 3: It does sound beautiful when you've truly went through all,

1247
00:57:38,760 --> 00:57:40,720
Speaker 3: like you've truly taken the time to know yourself.

1248
00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:43,720
Speaker 5: Well, I don't think I think you know the writer

1249
00:57:44,200 --> 00:57:47,600
Speaker 5: that that that also that process of like you can

1250
00:57:47,640 --> 00:57:51,080
Speaker 5: know yourself early, you can you can know yourself at

1251
00:57:51,080 --> 00:57:54,959
Speaker 5: twenty six, at twenty five is unlearning things you thought

1252
00:57:55,040 --> 00:57:57,920
Speaker 5: that were you right, because there's so much of the

1253
00:57:57,960 --> 00:58:00,400
Speaker 5: world that gets into the mind that complicated who you

1254
00:58:00,440 --> 00:58:02,200
Speaker 5: think you are, what you think you should be doing,

1255
00:58:02,280 --> 00:58:05,240
Speaker 5: what you think you should experience, and so that can get.

1256
00:58:05,080 --> 00:58:07,840
Speaker 1: In the way of the idea of our Like.

1257
00:58:08,440 --> 00:58:12,480
Speaker 5: When our ancestors and our great grandparents and grandparents lived

1258
00:58:12,480 --> 00:58:16,480
Speaker 5: a simpler life right where they decided who they were

1259
00:58:16,680 --> 00:58:20,320
Speaker 5: very early on. It wasn't over complicated. You understand me, Hey,

1260
00:58:20,400 --> 00:58:22,400
Speaker 5: I do this job, I live this type of life.

1261
00:58:22,440 --> 00:58:24,560
Speaker 5: I'm be with this person. We're gonna make it work.

1262
00:58:25,080 --> 00:58:29,160
Speaker 1: Now. You insert the city life, you insert the city boys.

1263
00:58:28,800 --> 00:58:30,640
Speaker 4: And the city girls.

1264
00:58:30,720 --> 00:58:33,680
Speaker 5: Right, but people are not good at picking options. People

1265
00:58:33,720 --> 00:58:36,280
Speaker 5: are not that smart. People have mental exhaustion. Too many

1266
00:58:36,280 --> 00:58:39,320
Speaker 5: options is where you make bad choices, you understand me.

1267
00:58:39,360 --> 00:58:42,720
Speaker 5: And so the least options you end up making better choices, right,

1268
00:58:42,760 --> 00:58:45,840
Speaker 5: And so they're not really options, but they're there and

1269
00:58:45,880 --> 00:58:47,760
Speaker 5: you expose to them, and so you think some of

1270
00:58:47,800 --> 00:58:49,840
Speaker 5: them are good but not. Let's say ninety nine percent

1271
00:58:49,880 --> 00:58:52,360
Speaker 5: of them are poison. But you have so many options,

1272
00:58:52,360 --> 00:58:55,040
Speaker 5: you so happy. But what if you only had one

1273
00:58:55,080 --> 00:58:56,560
Speaker 5: option and that was the good one?

1274
00:58:56,680 --> 00:58:58,880
Speaker 1: Would that be a better world? Absolutely?

1275
00:58:59,400 --> 00:59:01,840
Speaker 5: So we live in a much more complicated world today

1276
00:59:01,840 --> 00:59:04,440
Speaker 5: where people want all these options even when ninety nine

1277
00:59:04,840 --> 00:59:07,800
Speaker 5: of them are poison or toxic, and we think we

1278
00:59:07,840 --> 00:59:09,479
Speaker 5: live in a more and more advanced world.

1279
00:59:09,600 --> 00:59:11,400
Speaker 1: No, we just have more toxic options.

1280
00:59:12,120 --> 00:59:14,040
Speaker 2: So so what do we do keys, because I know

1281
00:59:14,080 --> 00:59:18,080
Speaker 2: you talk about mental engineering a lot, and and also

1282
00:59:18,600 --> 00:59:22,400
Speaker 2: what is it the w oh yeah, the black world, order,

1283
00:59:22,520 --> 00:59:27,840
Speaker 2: black world, order your movement. These options aren't going anywhere,

1284
00:59:28,280 --> 00:59:33,040
Speaker 2: distractions are not going anywhere, and the world is moving

1285
00:59:33,040 --> 00:59:36,440
Speaker 2: at a faster pace. We're moving into a world where

1286
00:59:36,960 --> 00:59:40,840
Speaker 2: people are putting shit on their head and living in

1287
00:59:40,880 --> 00:59:45,920
Speaker 2: alter alternate realities. And you know, AI is a real thing.

1288
00:59:46,320 --> 00:59:52,160
Speaker 2: And there's just there's so much detachment happening, and so

1289
00:59:52,480 --> 00:59:54,640
Speaker 2: how do what is how do you? How do you

1290
00:59:54,760 --> 00:59:59,400
Speaker 2: use this mental engineering to save our people? Essentially, like,

1291
00:59:59,760 --> 01:00:01,760
Speaker 2: what what is it that you're doing or what is

1292
01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:06,320
Speaker 2: your I guess your main process and goal? And getting

1293
01:00:06,360 --> 01:00:11,040
Speaker 2: people back to I guess living more simply is that

1294
01:00:11,080 --> 01:00:11,439
Speaker 2: the goal.

1295
01:00:11,680 --> 01:00:14,480
Speaker 5: I think it's just living true you understand me, living

1296
01:00:14,480 --> 01:00:18,880
Speaker 5: more truthfully? Right, people that don't know themselves they live alive? Right,

1297
01:00:18,880 --> 01:00:20,520
Speaker 5: how can you live the truth if you don't know

1298
01:00:20,560 --> 01:00:21,120
Speaker 5: who you are?

1299
01:00:21,400 --> 01:00:21,520
Speaker 1: Right?

1300
01:00:21,840 --> 01:00:23,760
Speaker 5: You live all these other things you thought you could live.

1301
01:00:23,800 --> 01:00:27,920
Speaker 5: A title, you live, perceptions, you live, opinions. Right, you

1302
01:00:28,000 --> 01:00:30,120
Speaker 5: live which you think you need to be, rather than

1303
01:00:30,120 --> 01:00:32,800
Speaker 5: who you are. So it's really teaching people how to

1304
01:00:32,800 --> 01:00:36,480
Speaker 5: reprogram themselves right to know who you are, like above

1305
01:00:36,560 --> 01:00:38,400
Speaker 5: all of those things, Like a person can go through

1306
01:00:38,440 --> 01:00:40,600
Speaker 5: an iteration of one hundred things, I ain't found my

1307
01:00:40,640 --> 01:00:43,760
Speaker 5: purpose yet right like that, you know just serves all

1308
01:00:43,800 --> 01:00:46,440
Speaker 5: way in the wrong place. Your purpose is always with you.

1309
01:00:46,440 --> 01:00:49,200
Speaker 5: You understand me, And so understanding who you are decreases

1310
01:00:49,280 --> 01:00:51,240
Speaker 5: that amount of journey and process you have to go

1311
01:00:51,320 --> 01:00:54,920
Speaker 5: through to understand the outcome. So I like to teach people.

1312
01:00:55,080 --> 01:00:56,919
Speaker 5: You know, what's the customization of self?

1313
01:00:56,920 --> 01:00:58,200
Speaker 1: Who are you? Knowledge yourself?

1314
01:00:58,640 --> 01:00:58,760
Speaker 2: Right?

1315
01:00:58,800 --> 01:01:01,240
Speaker 1: What is your thinking type? What is your personality type?

1316
01:01:01,520 --> 01:01:02,160
Speaker 1: You understand me?

1317
01:01:02,280 --> 01:01:05,240
Speaker 5: Think about where you come from, your family dynamic? Think

1318
01:01:05,240 --> 01:01:06,840
Speaker 5: about your intelligence type.

1319
01:01:06,880 --> 01:01:09,600
Speaker 1: How do you think? Think about your background? What are like?

1320
01:01:10,200 --> 01:01:11,800
Speaker 5: When I say we're not taught how to think, we

1321
01:01:11,880 --> 01:01:14,840
Speaker 5: literally not right. We don't really know how to think.

1322
01:01:14,880 --> 01:01:17,240
Speaker 5: We don't know how to go from diversion or conversion

1323
01:01:17,280 --> 01:01:20,560
Speaker 5: thinking where you're thinking of multiple solutions versus only one solution.

1324
01:01:21,320 --> 01:01:21,480
Speaker 2: Right.

1325
01:01:21,920 --> 01:01:24,240
Speaker 5: Men are not taught how to deal with women. Women

1326
01:01:24,240 --> 01:01:25,720
Speaker 5: are not taught how to deal with men. We're not

1327
01:01:25,800 --> 01:01:27,520
Speaker 5: taught how to listen to each other. We're not taught

1328
01:01:27,520 --> 01:01:30,160
Speaker 5: how to listen to ourselves. We're not taught about how

1329
01:01:30,160 --> 01:01:32,000
Speaker 5: to deal with the shadow self, that person.

1330
01:01:31,760 --> 01:01:33,080
Speaker 1: In the mirror when nobody's there.

1331
01:01:33,680 --> 01:01:37,600
Speaker 5: Right, So, without being able to go through that evaluation

1332
01:01:37,720 --> 01:01:40,400
Speaker 5: of self, you don't know what triggers you, right. Men

1333
01:01:40,440 --> 01:01:42,560
Speaker 5: don't know what makes them aggressive. They don't know the

1334
01:01:42,560 --> 01:01:45,560
Speaker 5: triggers of what a person makes them feel lonely, or

1335
01:01:45,600 --> 01:01:47,720
Speaker 5: a person makes them feel angry, or a person makes

1336
01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:50,120
Speaker 5: you know, give them self doubt. That's why so many

1337
01:01:50,160 --> 01:01:52,919
Speaker 5: men commit suicide. Black men are at the highest risk

1338
01:01:53,000 --> 01:01:54,080
Speaker 5: of suicide.

1339
01:01:53,640 --> 01:01:54,320
Speaker 1: Than any other men.

1340
01:01:54,400 --> 01:01:56,600
Speaker 5: Why they don't have emotional intelligence. They don't know how to

1341
01:01:56,640 --> 01:01:58,680
Speaker 5: deal with these things, and they never taught self regulation.

1342
01:01:59,320 --> 01:02:01,720
Speaker 5: Same thing with black women. You deal with so many,

1343
01:02:02,000 --> 01:02:05,800
Speaker 5: you know, emotional experiences, but you don't know which one

1344
01:02:05,880 --> 01:02:09,520
Speaker 5: or true, right, And so we're dealing with the dynamic

1345
01:02:09,640 --> 01:02:11,840
Speaker 5: of just not knowing self when we're taught to everybody

1346
01:02:11,880 --> 01:02:15,080
Speaker 5: to be skilled on just this general test. Hey, if

1347
01:02:15,080 --> 01:02:17,120
Speaker 5: you a man, do this and if you failed, then

1348
01:02:17,160 --> 01:02:20,360
Speaker 5: you're bad. But this man saying, well, this person, their

1349
01:02:20,400 --> 01:02:23,800
Speaker 5: personality or their character, their upbringing makes them more prone

1350
01:02:23,840 --> 01:02:27,440
Speaker 5: to actually agree with this way. This person says that,

1351
01:02:27,480 --> 01:02:29,600
Speaker 5: what I actually don't agree with that at all. But

1352
01:02:29,640 --> 01:02:31,280
Speaker 5: we're still graded on the same systems.

1353
01:02:31,600 --> 01:02:32,800
Speaker 1: Same thing a child.

1354
01:02:32,560 --> 01:02:35,040
Speaker 5: That you know, you one person goes to school and

1355
01:02:35,040 --> 01:02:37,360
Speaker 5: they like the subject, right, they get an A in and

1356
01:02:37,640 --> 01:02:38,960
Speaker 5: another student they don't.

1357
01:02:38,840 --> 01:02:40,480
Speaker 1: Like the subject, they get a C or a D.

1358
01:02:41,280 --> 01:02:44,200
Speaker 5: It's not that they're not intelligence's not their interest, right,

1359
01:02:44,280 --> 01:02:47,000
Speaker 5: so therefore they not gonna be able to focus as much.

1360
01:02:47,520 --> 01:02:49,880
Speaker 1: You call it. ADHD is just a lack of interest

1361
01:02:49,880 --> 01:02:51,880
Speaker 1: that's not align with who I am right.

1362
01:02:51,920 --> 01:02:53,920
Speaker 5: So when you start to know yourself, you start to

1363
01:02:53,920 --> 01:02:55,280
Speaker 5: get to the core of who you are. You start

1364
01:02:55,320 --> 01:02:57,040
Speaker 5: to peel all of that stuff. What made me who

1365
01:02:57,120 --> 01:02:59,280
Speaker 5: I am? How do I think? Why do I think

1366
01:02:59,320 --> 01:02:59,600
Speaker 5: the way?

1367
01:02:59,640 --> 01:02:59,960
Speaker 1: This was?

1368
01:03:00,440 --> 01:03:00,600
Speaker 2: Right?

1369
01:03:00,680 --> 01:03:03,480
Speaker 1: So now when I know myself, I can adjust. Right.

1370
01:03:03,560 --> 01:03:06,520
Speaker 5: When you go through that motion of healing, right, because

1371
01:03:06,800 --> 01:03:10,400
Speaker 5: it's not just mental engineering, we go through physical optimization

1372
01:03:10,520 --> 01:03:13,440
Speaker 5: as well. So you know there's working out right, Like

1373
01:03:13,720 --> 01:03:16,200
Speaker 5: I always talk about the adversity of working out being in.

1374
01:03:16,120 --> 01:03:18,360
Speaker 2: The gym, right, No question before you go to that.

1375
01:03:20,040 --> 01:03:21,480
Speaker 2: Are you mostly focused on men?

1376
01:03:21,800 --> 01:03:26,080
Speaker 5: No, we have a lot of women in that. It's

1377
01:03:26,120 --> 01:03:28,920
Speaker 5: a lot of women. Women ask the most questions. All Right,

1378
01:03:29,120 --> 01:03:31,920
Speaker 5: women are are definitely in this space where you know

1379
01:03:32,120 --> 01:03:35,280
Speaker 5: they're they're working to develop themselves, right, because a lot

1380
01:03:35,320 --> 01:03:39,400
Speaker 5: of women are gaining material success but are spiritually successful.

1381
01:03:40,000 --> 01:03:40,160
Speaker 1: Right.

1382
01:03:40,240 --> 01:03:42,760
Speaker 5: A lot of women are finding capital, but they they're

1383
01:03:42,760 --> 01:03:46,320
Speaker 5: not happy, they're not finding joy, right. And so it's

1384
01:03:46,360 --> 01:03:49,560
Speaker 5: one thing to understand and get a college degree and

1385
01:03:49,600 --> 01:03:53,480
Speaker 5: say we're the most educated, but are you the most happy?

1386
01:03:53,680 --> 01:03:56,200
Speaker 1: Right? Are you the most satisfied? Right? Are you living

1387
01:03:56,200 --> 01:03:59,720
Speaker 1: a joyful abundance life? And that quality? Can you brag

1388
01:03:59,760 --> 01:04:00,080
Speaker 1: on that.

1389
01:04:00,240 --> 01:04:02,600
Speaker 2: Do you find that do you think that that is

1390
01:04:02,640 --> 01:04:06,240
Speaker 2: because women generally are masculine and really able to tap

1391
01:04:06,280 --> 01:04:07,160
Speaker 2: into their softness.

1392
01:04:07,240 --> 01:04:10,440
Speaker 5: I don't think women generally are masculine. I think women

1393
01:04:10,680 --> 01:04:12,360
Speaker 5: develop masculine thinking.

1394
01:04:14,440 --> 01:04:16,600
Speaker 2: I don't think, yes, I don't think by nature we

1395
01:04:16,680 --> 01:04:19,280
Speaker 2: are masculine. But I would say in this day and age,

1396
01:04:19,400 --> 01:04:22,400
Speaker 2: in this capitalist society, especially with women being at the

1397
01:04:22,440 --> 01:04:26,800
Speaker 2: forefront of starting the most businesses and now not being in,

1398
01:04:27,040 --> 01:04:28,680
Speaker 2: not taking care of the household, being out of that,

1399
01:04:28,960 --> 01:04:32,840
Speaker 2: being out of the household, we are walking into spaces

1400
01:04:32,880 --> 01:04:36,960
Speaker 2: where we have to we have to put on this

1401
01:04:37,120 --> 01:04:39,360
Speaker 2: mask of masculinity in ways to be respected, or at

1402
01:04:39,400 --> 01:04:43,560
Speaker 2: least that's what we think, even single parents, single moms

1403
01:04:43,920 --> 01:04:46,240
Speaker 2: having to take on both roles right and having to

1404
01:04:46,760 --> 01:04:50,120
Speaker 2: figure it the fuck out. And so I'm just curious, like,

1405
01:04:50,360 --> 01:04:53,760
Speaker 2: do you think that you know that the soft woman

1406
01:04:55,040 --> 01:04:59,400
Speaker 2: is I guess do you think that there is a

1407
01:04:59,520 --> 01:05:02,280
Speaker 2: lack of of soft women in this world? And that

1408
01:05:02,440 --> 01:05:10,320
Speaker 2: is that is a result of I guess the spaces

1409
01:05:10,360 --> 01:05:11,760
Speaker 2: that men have created for us.

1410
01:05:11,920 --> 01:05:13,920
Speaker 5: I think there's a lack of masculine men in this

1411
01:05:14,000 --> 01:05:17,960
Speaker 5: world that's making women masculine. I agree, right, and so like,

1412
01:05:18,280 --> 01:05:20,560
Speaker 5: so just look at the dynamic. Everybody always talk about

1413
01:05:20,560 --> 01:05:23,840
Speaker 5: women being the most highly educated, creating the most businesses,

1414
01:05:23,920 --> 01:05:24,640
Speaker 5: things of that nature.

1415
01:05:24,640 --> 01:05:28,080
Speaker 1: Well, what happened to the men? Like what happened? Right?

1416
01:05:28,200 --> 01:05:30,040
Speaker 5: Like, because when you celebrate one, you have to say, well,

1417
01:05:30,080 --> 01:05:33,560
Speaker 5: why aren't these numbers growing over here? So that means

1418
01:05:33,560 --> 01:05:36,440
Speaker 5: that something is happening to these men where they're not

1419
01:05:36,560 --> 01:05:39,440
Speaker 5: developing as well. Right, So while one thing is being

1420
01:05:39,480 --> 01:05:41,640
Speaker 5: propped up, nobody's looking at the other side. It's saying

1421
01:05:41,680 --> 01:05:45,920
Speaker 5: something is happening with masculinity. That's an issue, right, And

1422
01:05:46,000 --> 01:05:49,640
Speaker 5: so that conversation has to understand that these dynamics are

1423
01:05:49,680 --> 01:05:53,320
Speaker 5: married to each other. One is happening because of the other, Right,

1424
01:05:53,520 --> 01:05:55,800
Speaker 5: it's not just that one is better. Like these men

1425
01:05:55,880 --> 01:05:57,080
Speaker 5: are getting destroyed, so.

1426
01:05:57,000 --> 01:05:59,720
Speaker 2: Women are becoming successful by design.

1427
01:06:00,920 --> 01:06:03,480
Speaker 5: I mean everything in America is by design, isn't it.

1428
01:06:03,480 --> 01:06:04,840
Speaker 5: We live in the system.

1429
01:06:04,920 --> 01:06:06,320
Speaker 2: So you think it's by design, then.

1430
01:06:06,320 --> 01:06:12,080
Speaker 5: Absolutely, absolutely, right, Like once you destroy a family dynamic,

1431
01:06:12,480 --> 01:06:14,760
Speaker 5: once you destroyed like, come on, what we've been going

1432
01:06:14,800 --> 01:06:17,080
Speaker 5: through in the last few years is black men getting

1433
01:06:17,120 --> 01:06:20,840
Speaker 5: murdered in the streets, right, And then all of these

1434
01:06:20,880 --> 01:06:24,200
Speaker 5: movements have been built off black men's death. The only

1435
01:06:24,240 --> 01:06:27,480
Speaker 5: person that don't benefit from it is a black man. Right,

1436
01:06:27,520 --> 01:06:31,320
Speaker 5: there's no movement about yo, black men need more space,

1437
01:06:31,400 --> 01:06:33,760
Speaker 5: black need this, that, and the third. Even though we

1438
01:06:33,840 --> 01:06:37,320
Speaker 5: have the worst statistics out of anybody in America from

1439
01:06:37,360 --> 01:06:40,680
Speaker 5: all categories except suicide, and that's because white men beat

1440
01:06:40,720 --> 01:06:43,760
Speaker 5: us there. But when it comes to you know, finances,

1441
01:06:43,760 --> 01:06:46,160
Speaker 5: when it comes to education, when it comes to cancers,

1442
01:06:46,400 --> 01:06:49,480
Speaker 5: when it comes to prison, when it comes to gun violence,

1443
01:06:49,520 --> 01:06:52,960
Speaker 5: when it comes to every other spectrum, there ain't no

1444
01:06:53,000 --> 01:06:56,360
Speaker 5: movements of empathy that's out there broadly. There's no corporations

1445
01:06:56,400 --> 01:06:57,920
Speaker 5: that's plastering that around saying we.

1446
01:06:57,880 --> 01:07:00,320
Speaker 1: Need to fight for that and make space right.

1447
01:07:00,640 --> 01:07:03,160
Speaker 5: But then there's a celebration for everybody else who's not

1448
01:07:03,240 --> 01:07:05,880
Speaker 5: going through those numbers and saying, well, let's just take

1449
01:07:05,920 --> 01:07:06,840
Speaker 5: a look at them.

1450
01:07:07,040 --> 01:07:08,760
Speaker 1: So it's kind of like an aye hah in your face.

1451
01:07:09,520 --> 01:07:10,439
Speaker 1: So it's making it worse.

1452
01:07:10,480 --> 01:07:13,680
Speaker 5: Not only is these brothers already gone through stress. Now

1453
01:07:13,800 --> 01:07:16,920
Speaker 5: we're bragging about the fact that we're making success because

1454
01:07:16,960 --> 01:07:20,040
Speaker 5: of the fact that you all are feeling right now because.

1455
01:07:19,800 --> 01:07:21,520
Speaker 1: You at war who you had war with.

1456
01:07:21,680 --> 01:07:24,560
Speaker 5: What's the root cause of this, right, and so the

1457
01:07:24,600 --> 01:07:27,600
Speaker 5: destruction of the family dynamic, the destruction of that masculine

1458
01:07:27,680 --> 01:07:29,960
Speaker 5: man is of course going to create a cycle.

1459
01:07:30,720 --> 01:07:32,160
Speaker 1: Right, this has to happen.

1460
01:07:32,000 --> 01:07:35,320
Speaker 5: By design then, so I feel like, you know, it's

1461
01:07:35,360 --> 01:07:38,440
Speaker 5: a thing where we have to be empathetic and we

1462
01:07:38,560 --> 01:07:41,240
Speaker 5: have to really observe and listen and look at each other.

1463
01:07:41,800 --> 01:07:44,720
Speaker 1: The beauty of women being able to enjoy.

1464
01:07:44,480 --> 01:07:47,800
Speaker 5: Success is amazing when you take a high level look

1465
01:07:47,840 --> 01:07:49,920
Speaker 5: at it and you say, okay, well, what happened before this?

1466
01:07:50,680 --> 01:07:52,320
Speaker 5: We all know what happened. We was all fighting in

1467
01:07:52,360 --> 01:07:54,520
Speaker 5: the sixties and seventies and eighties. In the nineties, we're

1468
01:07:54,520 --> 01:07:57,000
Speaker 5: all talking about the crack epidemic. We're all talking about

1469
01:07:57,000 --> 01:07:59,479
Speaker 5: the prison population, and all of a sudden, well, black

1470
01:07:59,480 --> 01:08:02,800
Speaker 5: women are sessful now. It's like, you don't think all

1471
01:08:02,840 --> 01:08:05,680
Speaker 5: of this is connected. We talk about the five hundred

1472
01:08:05,760 --> 01:08:08,880
Speaker 5: years of slavery, but that's not connected to the outcome

1473
01:08:08,960 --> 01:08:09,520
Speaker 5: of today.

1474
01:08:09,720 --> 01:08:13,560
Speaker 3: What is the benefit of black women being educated and successful?

1475
01:08:13,760 --> 01:08:14,480
Speaker 4: I mean, like.

1476
01:08:15,960 --> 01:08:18,519
Speaker 3: Prior to this, like all those things are true, like

1477
01:08:18,560 --> 01:08:22,920
Speaker 3: the crack epidemic, the the you know pipeline, like the

1478
01:08:22,920 --> 01:08:26,360
Speaker 3: prison system, but like, if it's by design, what are they?

1479
01:08:26,400 --> 01:08:30,000
Speaker 4: What are their hopes. If black women are excelling, so

1480
01:08:30,320 --> 01:08:31,600
Speaker 4: like alone.

1481
01:08:31,720 --> 01:08:32,879
Speaker 2: Breaking the family dynamic.

1482
01:08:34,040 --> 01:08:38,200
Speaker 4: Family they got, the woman is removed from the home.

1483
01:08:38,360 --> 01:08:40,479
Speaker 4: Right if you go to masculate, they masculate.

1484
01:08:40,560 --> 01:08:42,479
Speaker 5: Go to any country right now in the world. Do

1485
01:08:42,520 --> 01:08:44,960
Speaker 5: you want to break up the dynamic? Go educate the women.

1486
01:08:46,479 --> 01:08:49,960
Speaker 5: So you say educated, but look at the type of

1487
01:08:50,080 --> 01:08:52,280
Speaker 5: education they get too. It's not an education that works

1488
01:08:52,360 --> 01:08:55,080
Speaker 5: that makes the dynamic work. It's the education that takes

1489
01:08:55,080 --> 01:08:57,320
Speaker 5: them away and put them into the workforce for the

1490
01:08:57,360 --> 01:09:02,400
Speaker 5: government for more like why but but well, where has

1491
01:09:02,439 --> 01:09:05,680
Speaker 5: it not worked? Where has that dynamic anywhere on the

1492
01:09:05,680 --> 01:09:06,599
Speaker 5: planet in history?

1493
01:09:06,680 --> 01:09:08,120
Speaker 2: Successful government?

1494
01:09:08,840 --> 01:09:10,880
Speaker 1: We're not all working in the government, but you're paying

1495
01:09:10,920 --> 01:09:12,439
Speaker 1: more taxes. That's working for the.

1496
01:09:12,360 --> 01:09:14,000
Speaker 4: Government essentially your business.

1497
01:09:14,120 --> 01:09:14,760
Speaker 1: You understand me.

1498
01:09:14,880 --> 01:09:17,400
Speaker 5: Everybody works for the government, whether you want to or not.

1499
01:09:17,520 --> 01:09:19,120
Speaker 5: You got to pay taxes. You work for the government

1500
01:09:19,200 --> 01:09:22,400
Speaker 5: birth you did, so you can't get away from that dynamic.

1501
01:09:22,720 --> 01:09:25,280
Speaker 5: But I know for a fact that the most dangerous

1502
01:09:25,320 --> 01:09:27,040
Speaker 5: thing in the world be for black men and women

1503
01:09:27,040 --> 01:09:31,080
Speaker 5: to get along. So of course anything that we can

1504
01:09:31,120 --> 01:09:34,480
Speaker 5: do to make sure that doesn't happen, right will be implemented,

1505
01:09:34,600 --> 01:09:37,320
Speaker 5: because once that happened and y'all focused, and y'all work together.

1506
01:09:37,360 --> 01:09:40,480
Speaker 5: If black women are as beautiful as you are as powerful,

1507
01:09:40,560 --> 01:09:43,280
Speaker 5: imagine if y'all working with us and with our ideas

1508
01:09:43,320 --> 01:09:44,479
Speaker 5: and we're building our own world.

1509
01:09:44,520 --> 01:09:46,880
Speaker 1: Man, we can't have that take over fast.

1510
01:09:47,520 --> 01:09:51,000
Speaker 3: I have a question, because we know the devil of

1511
01:09:51,040 --> 01:09:54,479
Speaker 3: the world that we exist in. Do you have and

1512
01:09:54,520 --> 01:09:57,640
Speaker 3: because of your your thoughts and the message that you

1513
01:09:57,720 --> 01:10:01,040
Speaker 3: push by promoting you know, like unity with an our culture,

1514
01:10:01,240 --> 01:10:02,680
Speaker 3: like have you in our community?

1515
01:10:02,720 --> 01:10:06,800
Speaker 4: Have you experienced just like I don't know how to

1516
01:10:06,800 --> 01:10:11,960
Speaker 4: call it the ops, Like have you experienced your message

1517
01:10:12,000 --> 01:10:12,200
Speaker 4: is not?

1518
01:10:12,360 --> 01:10:13,080
Speaker 2: Are you a target?

1519
01:10:13,240 --> 01:10:13,400
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1520
01:10:14,000 --> 01:10:17,640
Speaker 1: I'm I'm pretty sure. You know.

1521
01:10:17,800 --> 01:10:21,640
Speaker 5: I think that any security shit allts my security. You

1522
01:10:21,720 --> 01:10:23,880
Speaker 5: understand me, Like, like I said, I was grown for this,

1523
01:10:24,040 --> 01:10:27,080
Speaker 5: so you know this only thing I know, Like I

1524
01:10:27,120 --> 01:10:29,920
Speaker 5: only know speaking the truth, only know thinking in this manner,

1525
01:10:29,960 --> 01:10:32,519
Speaker 5: like this is what I've seen growing up my whole life. Right,

1526
01:10:32,560 --> 01:10:35,320
Speaker 5: So if I'm gain intelligence, then I'm againing to solve

1527
01:10:35,320 --> 01:10:37,160
Speaker 5: the problems that I grew up with that affect me

1528
01:10:37,200 --> 01:10:39,320
Speaker 5: the most. If I didn't grow up in a dynamic

1529
01:10:39,360 --> 01:10:42,040
Speaker 5: of a household that wasn't healthy, then why wouldn't I

1530
01:10:42,120 --> 01:10:43,120
Speaker 5: utilize my mind to.

1531
01:10:43,080 --> 01:10:43,800
Speaker 1: Try to solve that.

1532
01:10:44,439 --> 01:10:47,599
Speaker 5: Right, Like, if we have the most healthy, intelligent people,

1533
01:10:47,680 --> 01:10:51,120
Speaker 5: the most successful educated women, and all these people getting

1534
01:10:51,160 --> 01:10:54,400
Speaker 5: it successful, how do we take that back and now

1535
01:10:54,479 --> 01:10:56,920
Speaker 5: figure out how to change the dynamics that created these

1536
01:10:56,960 --> 01:10:59,559
Speaker 5: cycles that we don't agree with. If we're that good

1537
01:10:59,600 --> 01:11:01,439
Speaker 5: and that in intelligence, and we're better and we getting

1538
01:11:01,479 --> 01:11:04,559
Speaker 5: that much money, then how come we're not taking those

1539
01:11:04,600 --> 01:11:07,519
Speaker 5: things and pouring those resources into changing our dynamic.

1540
01:11:08,640 --> 01:11:10,280
Speaker 4: Are you in a relationship or are you married?

1541
01:11:10,360 --> 01:11:11,480
Speaker 1: Or I'm in a relationship?

1542
01:11:12,479 --> 01:11:14,080
Speaker 4: So how long have you guys been, how you've been along?

1543
01:11:14,320 --> 01:11:15,799
Speaker 4: How long are in relation years?

1544
01:11:16,080 --> 01:11:16,200
Speaker 3: So?

1545
01:11:16,960 --> 01:11:18,200
Speaker 4: How how do you date?

1546
01:11:18,280 --> 01:11:21,800
Speaker 3: As a as a as a man that is intentional

1547
01:11:21,840 --> 01:11:24,760
Speaker 3: about how you start a family and with who? And

1548
01:11:24,840 --> 01:11:26,720
Speaker 3: like for men that are listening and women that are

1549
01:11:26,720 --> 01:11:31,479
Speaker 3: listening and you know, are looking for sacred you know,

1550
01:11:31,560 --> 01:11:35,240
Speaker 3: partnerships and healthy relationships. What are some of the like

1551
01:11:35,640 --> 01:11:37,200
Speaker 3: what are the things that you look for in a

1552
01:11:37,240 --> 01:11:40,679
Speaker 3: partner or have looked for in order to like start

1553
01:11:41,160 --> 01:11:44,080
Speaker 3: essentially planning the seeds and the fund the fundamentals of

1554
01:11:44,200 --> 01:11:45,559
Speaker 3: building a family for yourself.

1555
01:11:46,560 --> 01:11:49,720
Speaker 5: I would think first alignment, right, like, and I think

1556
01:11:49,760 --> 01:11:52,360
Speaker 5: it takes time before you find true alignment and know

1557
01:11:52,479 --> 01:11:56,000
Speaker 5: it's a process, right, like you know, believing in the

1558
01:11:56,040 --> 01:12:00,280
Speaker 5: same God, right, having a healthy masculine if in a

1559
01:12:00,360 --> 01:12:03,639
Speaker 5: dynamic you understand me, both having an understanding of knowledge

1560
01:12:03,640 --> 01:12:07,599
Speaker 5: your self, knowing each other, both having that internal self

1561
01:12:07,640 --> 01:12:11,599
Speaker 5: love without each other, right, going through that journey of healing,

1562
01:12:11,640 --> 01:12:14,360
Speaker 5: going through that journey of what is our vision for

1563
01:12:14,479 --> 01:12:17,720
Speaker 5: each other's futures, our futures together, and going through that

1564
01:12:17,800 --> 01:12:21,280
Speaker 5: process of planning and of course before the child, right,

1565
01:12:21,760 --> 01:12:24,240
Speaker 5: and so like it's just a whole journey of aligning

1566
01:12:24,360 --> 01:12:26,040
Speaker 5: right your ethnic background.

1567
01:12:26,240 --> 01:12:26,479
Speaker 1: Right.

1568
01:12:27,160 --> 01:12:29,680
Speaker 5: So if you all can come in an alignment, I

1569
01:12:29,720 --> 01:12:32,439
Speaker 5: think you have a long future together. But if you

1570
01:12:32,520 --> 01:12:36,439
Speaker 5: don't go through enough journey with each other and enough alignment, right,

1571
01:12:36,720 --> 01:12:40,120
Speaker 5: then you're gonna find out inside the relationship, inside the marriage,

1572
01:12:40,160 --> 01:12:41,800
Speaker 5: like damn, we didn't talk about this, or we didn't

1573
01:12:41,840 --> 01:12:43,880
Speaker 5: get to this part. I never told you this about me,

1574
01:12:44,040 --> 01:12:46,840
Speaker 5: or I didn't share this, right. So I feel like

1575
01:12:46,880 --> 01:12:49,200
Speaker 5: you know, when you're in any relationship, it's a lifelong

1576
01:12:49,280 --> 01:12:52,040
Speaker 5: journey of aligning with each other and communicating with each

1577
01:12:52,080 --> 01:12:54,439
Speaker 5: other and listening to each other and relearning each other

1578
01:12:54,840 --> 01:12:57,760
Speaker 5: and having the uncomfortable conversations because it's like you go

1579
01:12:57,800 --> 01:13:01,479
Speaker 5: through trials and tribulations and that adversity is what makes

1580
01:13:01,520 --> 01:13:04,120
Speaker 5: you all worth it for each other, You understand me. Like,

1581
01:13:04,240 --> 01:13:07,880
Speaker 5: I think the idea of the belief of is just

1582
01:13:08,160 --> 01:13:12,040
Speaker 5: you know, you know, good selling from on here out,

1583
01:13:12,040 --> 01:13:15,600
Speaker 5: and everything's gonna be in this romantic phase forever. I

1584
01:13:15,600 --> 01:13:18,479
Speaker 5: think that's the delusion that people live in. But like

1585
01:13:18,560 --> 01:13:22,160
Speaker 5: the idea of, yo, you know, are we willing to

1586
01:13:22,360 --> 01:13:24,040
Speaker 5: talk with each other and help each other grow in

1587
01:13:24,080 --> 01:13:25,599
Speaker 5: those areas that we know we're gonna need.

1588
01:13:25,640 --> 01:13:28,280
Speaker 1: Are we gonna be patient with each other? Right?

1589
01:13:28,360 --> 01:13:32,639
Speaker 5: And then not in understanding Like you talked about understanding

1590
01:13:32,720 --> 01:13:35,760
Speaker 5: that if you're in a relationship with somebody, you know,

1591
01:13:35,920 --> 01:13:38,760
Speaker 5: you don't stay just for the sake of staying. Stay

1592
01:13:38,760 --> 01:13:42,519
Speaker 5: because y'all still aligned, Right, Stay because maybe I want

1593
01:13:42,520 --> 01:13:46,080
Speaker 5: to quit because you know, you don't feel like working

1594
01:13:46,120 --> 01:13:47,880
Speaker 5: this thing out or that's a part of yourself you

1595
01:13:47,920 --> 01:13:48,920
Speaker 5: don't feel like dealing with.

1596
01:13:49,479 --> 01:13:52,320
Speaker 1: Right, But is it really that right?

1597
01:13:52,439 --> 01:13:52,519
Speaker 5: Like?

1598
01:13:52,720 --> 01:13:55,240
Speaker 1: Or maybe like if you go through that, what can

1599
01:13:55,280 --> 01:13:57,720
Speaker 1: you get on the other side? Right? If you look

1600
01:13:57,720 --> 01:13:59,720
Speaker 1: at any successful relationship.

1601
01:13:59,240 --> 01:14:01,400
Speaker 5: It's because they went through all of that it's not

1602
01:14:01,439 --> 01:14:04,160
Speaker 5: because everything was just peaches and nice. They went through

1603
01:14:04,200 --> 01:14:06,760
Speaker 5: all of the goddamn arguments. They done, went through all

1604
01:14:06,800 --> 01:14:08,479
Speaker 5: of the learning, they went through all of the crime,

1605
01:14:08,560 --> 01:14:10,920
Speaker 5: They went through all of those moments where they have

1606
01:14:11,000 --> 01:14:11,559
Speaker 5: the console.

1607
01:14:11,760 --> 01:14:13,320
Speaker 1: They have to communicate, they have to.

1608
01:14:13,400 --> 01:14:16,040
Speaker 5: Relearn, they have to figure out better ways to work

1609
01:14:16,080 --> 01:14:16,880
Speaker 5: and know each other.

1610
01:14:16,960 --> 01:14:19,080
Speaker 1: They grow and mature, the dynamics change.

1611
01:14:19,479 --> 01:14:22,400
Speaker 5: Like, you know, committing to be in any relationship, whether

1612
01:14:22,400 --> 01:14:25,519
Speaker 5: it's a business relationship, whether it's a family relationship, You're

1613
01:14:25,520 --> 01:14:27,719
Speaker 5: gonna go through peaks, valleys, up and downs.

1614
01:14:27,800 --> 01:14:28,360
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.

1615
01:14:28,360 --> 01:14:30,280
Speaker 5: It's like a life sign and shit just moving up

1616
01:14:30,280 --> 01:14:32,280
Speaker 5: and down. You don't just get that shit smooth selling.

1617
01:14:32,640 --> 01:14:35,440
Speaker 5: So for me, it's about going through a journey of alignment.

1618
01:14:36,920 --> 01:14:41,320
Speaker 3: How do you think, like professional women like ourselves maintain

1619
01:14:41,360 --> 01:14:46,360
Speaker 3: our softness while also being entrepreneurs and business owners and

1620
01:14:46,560 --> 01:14:49,000
Speaker 3: you know, and for women who are you know, want

1621
01:14:49,160 --> 01:14:52,760
Speaker 3: to essentially be wives and be in marriage, how do

1622
01:14:52,800 --> 01:14:55,519
Speaker 3: you what device do you give for that type of balance?

1623
01:14:55,880 --> 01:14:57,960
Speaker 5: No, I think Queen out four, Queen up four is

1624
01:14:57,960 --> 01:15:00,519
Speaker 5: good advice. You know, I don't claim to be a

1625
01:15:00,560 --> 01:15:05,160
Speaker 5: man knows everything. I don't know everything right. And you know,

1626
01:15:05,200 --> 01:15:08,640
Speaker 5: there's so many different ways that women can you know,

1627
01:15:09,320 --> 01:15:12,960
Speaker 5: soften themselves up right, so many practices within nature. But

1628
01:15:13,000 --> 01:15:16,000
Speaker 5: she does that like womb healing, you understand me, where

1629
01:15:16,040 --> 01:15:18,760
Speaker 5: she helps women get in tune with themselves again and

1630
01:15:18,800 --> 01:15:22,000
Speaker 5: go through that journey of healing themselves and knowing themselves

1631
01:15:22,040 --> 01:15:24,400
Speaker 5: and doing that shadow work and going through that self

1632
01:15:24,439 --> 01:15:27,000
Speaker 5: love and that self therapy right, so that they.

1633
01:15:26,880 --> 01:15:28,720
Speaker 1: Can be in that softness. Right.

1634
01:15:29,000 --> 01:15:31,080
Speaker 5: You have to understand that it's no softness in the

1635
01:15:31,080 --> 01:15:33,880
Speaker 5: business world. That's where you become hard, so you become tough.

1636
01:15:34,280 --> 01:15:39,280
Speaker 5: That's business is war. Economics is warfare, right, that's completely different.

1637
01:15:39,360 --> 01:15:42,400
Speaker 5: Like go in nature, go and learn yourself again. You

1638
01:15:42,439 --> 01:15:44,880
Speaker 5: understand me, Like, that's where you find your softness.

1639
01:15:46,160 --> 01:15:46,679
Speaker 4: I agree.

1640
01:15:46,720 --> 01:15:50,679
Speaker 2: We actually had Queen on last month. Yeah's told you amazing.

1641
01:15:51,280 --> 01:15:53,879
Speaker 2: Do you think that women should not be in finance.

1642
01:15:54,360 --> 01:15:57,120
Speaker 2: I'm just curious about your view on women good money

1643
01:15:57,160 --> 01:16:00,760
Speaker 2: what you're talking about, but that are dominant in this

1644
01:16:01,040 --> 01:16:03,040
Speaker 2: very warlike industry and way.

1645
01:16:03,240 --> 01:16:04,479
Speaker 1: Lemon should always get money.

1646
01:16:04,680 --> 01:16:06,519
Speaker 2: I don't mean they can get money other ways. I'm

1647
01:16:06,560 --> 01:16:09,800
Speaker 2: just saying that ideally, would your partner be in the

1648
01:16:09,840 --> 01:16:10,840
Speaker 2: same field as you.

1649
01:16:12,400 --> 01:16:13,800
Speaker 5: I haven't dealt with that, but I don't think I

1650
01:16:13,800 --> 01:16:16,519
Speaker 5: would mind per se. But it depends because you know,

1651
01:16:17,200 --> 01:16:20,240
Speaker 5: nobody wants to battle with their partner, you understand me.

1652
01:16:20,280 --> 01:16:23,120
Speaker 5: So sometimes it's good when y'all in different fields, right,

1653
01:16:23,160 --> 01:16:26,519
Speaker 5: because this is my expertise, this is yours. Right, So

1654
01:16:26,640 --> 01:16:29,000
Speaker 5: like you battling with them on something logical and they

1655
01:16:29,040 --> 01:16:30,639
Speaker 5: may linger over into the bedroom.

1656
01:16:31,080 --> 01:16:33,679
Speaker 1: You may have won this argument, right, and.

1657
01:16:33,600 --> 01:16:36,920
Speaker 5: So that sometimes is not good because now the relationship

1658
01:16:36,920 --> 01:16:40,800
Speaker 5: becomes logical, right, and so instead of you know, love

1659
01:16:40,840 --> 01:16:41,880
Speaker 5: and energy and flow.

1660
01:16:42,120 --> 01:16:42,679
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.

1661
01:16:42,720 --> 01:16:45,400
Speaker 5: Woman is like an ocean, right, she that's her emotions.

1662
01:16:45,439 --> 01:16:47,880
Speaker 5: Like there's nothing logical about the ocean.

1663
01:16:47,920 --> 01:16:49,400
Speaker 1: You can't win that. You just have to go with

1664
01:16:49,400 --> 01:16:50,080
Speaker 1: the flow of it.

1665
01:16:50,439 --> 01:16:53,000
Speaker 5: So when she becomes logical, now she's thinking just like you.

1666
01:16:53,080 --> 01:16:56,519
Speaker 5: And it's like Dan, you're battling yourself, right. So you know,

1667
01:16:56,880 --> 01:17:00,679
Speaker 5: woman being in her softness is no battle there you did,

1668
01:17:00,840 --> 01:17:03,240
Speaker 5: so you know a woman can be in finances. The

1669
01:17:03,360 --> 01:17:05,519
Speaker 5: black women were, you know, the banks of the household.

1670
01:17:05,520 --> 01:17:07,839
Speaker 5: They were the ones who handled finances back in the day.

1671
01:17:07,680 --> 01:17:10,880
Speaker 5: They knew how to handle mathematics and do those calculations.

1672
01:17:11,200 --> 01:17:12,800
Speaker 5: That was something that he gave to her. I made

1673
01:17:12,800 --> 01:17:16,519
Speaker 5: the money, baby, you handle the checkbook, right. She he

1674
01:17:16,600 --> 01:17:18,000
Speaker 5: brung in the money, but a lot of times she

1675
01:17:18,080 --> 01:17:19,599
Speaker 5: was the one that paid the bills, that had to

1676
01:17:19,640 --> 01:17:21,760
Speaker 5: write the checks and send them off and get the

1677
01:17:21,760 --> 01:17:25,400
Speaker 5: bills paid. She balanced the check books at the household, right.

1678
01:17:25,600 --> 01:17:27,200
Speaker 5: But they didn't do the same thing, so there was

1679
01:17:27,240 --> 01:17:27,799
Speaker 5: no argument.

1680
01:17:27,880 --> 01:17:30,080
Speaker 1: Trusted her to do that. She trusted him to do that.

1681
01:17:30,640 --> 01:17:33,559
Speaker 5: So that dynamic of look, I got my expertise, you

1682
01:17:33,600 --> 01:17:36,040
Speaker 5: got yours. That's the polarities, we got, the opposites.

1683
01:17:36,080 --> 01:17:37,439
Speaker 1: They mixed, they work, they balanced.

1684
01:17:37,920 --> 01:17:41,519
Speaker 3: We'd like to play a little game called trigger, and

1685
01:17:41,600 --> 01:17:44,320
Speaker 3: we're gonna ask you just sue one word and then

1686
01:17:44,360 --> 01:17:47,240
Speaker 3: the first thing that comes to mind, just say what

1687
01:17:47,320 --> 01:17:48,320
Speaker 3: comes to mind immediately.

1688
01:17:49,439 --> 01:17:50,599
Speaker 1: Psychological setup.

1689
01:17:53,560 --> 01:17:54,040
Speaker 4: Are you ready?

1690
01:17:54,800 --> 01:17:55,160
Speaker 1: I don't know.

1691
01:17:55,200 --> 01:18:05,559
Speaker 2: Let's going okay, Religion, God, feminism, woman, birth woman, motherhood, woman,

1692
01:18:06,040 --> 01:18:07,439
Speaker 2: love language.

1693
01:18:10,840 --> 01:18:13,719
Speaker 1: Love language, that's a good one.

1694
01:18:16,240 --> 01:18:33,519
Speaker 2: Understanding cannabis, we psychedelics, drugs, mushrooms, ship a trip, black man, god,

1695
01:18:33,880 --> 01:18:43,799
Speaker 2: white man, yeah, oh yeah, your white friends.

1696
01:18:44,400 --> 01:18:48,240
Speaker 5: You Knowice mind asked me this before. I don't but

1697
01:18:48,320 --> 01:18:56,920
Speaker 5: not not intentionally though, you know, listen, you're trying to

1698
01:18:56,920 --> 01:18:59,080
Speaker 5: make me some money. We're trying we can work together.

1699
01:18:59,200 --> 01:19:01,120
Speaker 5: What it be you feel on me? Like you ever

1700
01:19:01,240 --> 01:19:02,000
Speaker 5: heard of John Brown?

1701
01:19:02,720 --> 01:19:03,200
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm.

1702
01:19:03,600 --> 01:19:07,080
Speaker 1: John Brown was an abolitionist. He was a white man man.

1703
01:19:07,120 --> 01:19:07,479
Speaker 1: He killed.

1704
01:19:07,520 --> 01:19:09,000
Speaker 5: He killed a lot of white men in the name

1705
01:19:09,040 --> 01:19:11,400
Speaker 5: of helping black people. Now, if I'm gonna have me

1706
01:19:11,400 --> 01:19:14,479
Speaker 5: a white friend, he.

1707
01:19:14,479 --> 01:19:16,880
Speaker 1: Was cool with Frederick Douglas. Yes, that's what we need.

1708
01:19:17,640 --> 01:19:21,879
Speaker 4: Uh, favorite foods, I think.

1709
01:19:22,240 --> 01:19:32,040
Speaker 6: Guilty pleasure, Ah, pleasure right now, it's playing video games.

1710
01:19:32,320 --> 01:19:34,000
Speaker 2: Are you what the video games you're playing over there?

1711
01:19:34,040 --> 01:19:35,280
Speaker 1: I'm playing God Award right now.

1712
01:19:35,520 --> 01:19:38,160
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm not gonna act like I know what the

1713
01:19:38,160 --> 01:19:47,479
Speaker 2: fuck that is? Africa, motherland, porn, sex, favorite sex position, love,

1714
01:19:48,520 --> 01:19:54,639
Speaker 2: open relationship, Yeah, plussy, good after life.

1715
01:19:55,840 --> 01:19:59,960
Speaker 1: I don't know. Death, that's what's next?

1716
01:20:00,920 --> 01:20:03,240
Speaker 2: Self care necessary?

1717
01:20:03,840 --> 01:20:12,040
Speaker 3: Oh some of them, some of them. Some of them

1718
01:20:12,040 --> 01:20:15,639
Speaker 3: are just hoses. Ain't nothing we could do about it,

1719
01:20:15,760 --> 01:20:16,479
Speaker 3: just some of them.

1720
01:20:17,280 --> 01:20:28,120
Speaker 2: Roll the dice, sacred sex, great semen, retention, powerful, biggest regret, no,

1721
01:20:29,000 --> 01:20:32,560
Speaker 2: biggest accomplishment. Oh pet peeve.

1722
01:20:34,000 --> 01:20:36,560
Speaker 1: Hm. People who calling me, I don't feel like talking.

1723
01:20:36,280 --> 01:20:38,760
Speaker 2: To me too?

1724
01:20:38,800 --> 01:20:40,200
Speaker 4: The same.

1725
01:20:40,760 --> 01:20:46,200
Speaker 2: I don't answer you. Get one words in texts, monogamy,

1726
01:20:46,920 --> 01:20:53,600
Speaker 2: it's good idol, no bad choices, a lot of them.

1727
01:20:53,760 --> 01:20:55,240
Speaker 1: Therapy necessary.

1728
01:20:55,840 --> 01:21:00,759
Speaker 2: I see you sort of have trigger. You feel people triggered.

1729
01:21:01,800 --> 01:21:07,639
Speaker 2: You look cool with cucumber over there. Well, we also

1730
01:21:07,680 --> 01:21:10,120
Speaker 2: have a segment on our show called horror Stories.

1731
01:21:10,680 --> 01:21:13,439
Speaker 4: Wait, we didn't hear your affirmation? What's your affirmation?

1732
01:21:13,520 --> 01:21:16,760
Speaker 5: Affirmation Where there's a will, there's a way. That is

1733
01:21:16,800 --> 01:21:20,519
Speaker 5: my favorite affirmation of all time. I think I've used

1734
01:21:20,520 --> 01:21:21,520
Speaker 5: that like a superpower.

1735
01:21:22,160 --> 01:21:24,960
Speaker 4: Where there's a will, there's a way. Yes, you know,

1736
01:21:25,080 --> 01:21:25,759
Speaker 4: I went to Clerk.

1737
01:21:25,840 --> 01:21:29,080
Speaker 3: So the thing at Clark Atlanta is find a way

1738
01:21:29,160 --> 01:21:31,720
Speaker 3: or make one, And I feel like it's along the

1739
01:21:31,720 --> 01:21:34,040
Speaker 3: same lines. Whenever there's a will, there's a way, Like

1740
01:21:34,560 --> 01:21:37,200
Speaker 3: you want to get there, figured out what you're gonna do.

1741
01:21:37,840 --> 01:21:42,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true. Do you have a horry for us?

1742
01:21:47,160 --> 01:21:48,720
Speaker 2: Who stories?

1743
01:21:49,720 --> 01:21:54,960
Speaker 5: No, you brun this up earlier. It wouldn't be nothing

1744
01:21:55,000 --> 01:21:58,760
Speaker 5: recent I could think about. But I remember I got

1745
01:21:58,760 --> 01:22:01,320
Speaker 5: a lot of brothers, right, so, you know, it was

1746
01:22:01,360 --> 01:22:03,840
Speaker 5: a point of time where I feel like, you know,

1747
01:22:04,960 --> 01:22:07,200
Speaker 5: when you're young, you're arrogant enough to think that women

1748
01:22:07,240 --> 01:22:07,800
Speaker 5: only want you.

1749
01:22:08,280 --> 01:22:08,439
Speaker 1: Right.

1750
01:22:08,520 --> 01:22:10,080
Speaker 5: Well, my brothers looked like me. So I had to

1751
01:22:10,080 --> 01:22:14,120
Speaker 5: share the world with them. And so I remember, you know,

1752
01:22:14,200 --> 01:22:19,479
Speaker 5: my older brother, he's very he was very I don't

1753
01:22:19,479 --> 01:22:21,840
Speaker 5: you know the word to describe him, very tough. Let's

1754
01:22:21,880 --> 01:22:24,720
Speaker 5: just say that, you know, he liked to teach tough lessons.

1755
01:22:25,080 --> 01:22:27,120
Speaker 5: So I remember, you know, I talked to this girl

1756
01:22:27,160 --> 01:22:29,200
Speaker 5: one time and I'm go into deep details. I just

1757
01:22:29,240 --> 01:22:32,960
Speaker 5: met her and everything, right, and this is like young, young,

1758
01:22:35,080 --> 01:22:38,680
Speaker 5: but I remember, you know, talking with her casually ended

1759
01:22:38,720 --> 01:22:41,040
Speaker 5: up meeting with him. We met with each other on

1760
01:22:41,080 --> 01:22:43,679
Speaker 5: the train. I just met her. He just met her,

1761
01:22:44,000 --> 01:22:45,760
Speaker 5: you know what I'm saying. But he got eyes on her,

1762
01:22:45,800 --> 01:22:49,320
Speaker 5: you did, so long story short, you know, we end

1763
01:22:49,400 --> 01:22:51,160
Speaker 5: up going through an iteration of night and being.

1764
01:22:51,000 --> 01:22:53,240
Speaker 1: A crazy night, got into fights, all.

1765
01:22:53,160 --> 01:22:56,800
Speaker 5: Kinds of different stuff, right, and then somehow she ended

1766
01:22:56,880 --> 01:22:58,200
Speaker 5: up with him at the end of the night.

1767
01:23:00,120 --> 01:23:02,440
Speaker 1: Disappointed a heartbreak.

1768
01:23:03,240 --> 01:23:05,840
Speaker 5: No, I didn't know, so it wasn't a heartbreak, you

1769
01:23:05,920 --> 01:23:08,040
Speaker 5: understand me. And he ended up knocking those down.

1770
01:23:08,080 --> 01:23:14,080
Speaker 1: Said that was a horse story. Both was horrible.

1771
01:23:16,000 --> 01:23:17,240
Speaker 2: Did you approach your brother like yo?

1772
01:23:17,360 --> 01:23:19,200
Speaker 1: What the fuck? I mean? I talked to him about it,

1773
01:23:19,240 --> 01:23:20,639
Speaker 1: but you know, you get over those things.

1774
01:23:20,640 --> 01:23:22,160
Speaker 2: You never brought another woman around them.

1775
01:23:22,040 --> 01:23:22,880
Speaker 1: All I have.

1776
01:23:23,200 --> 01:23:25,040
Speaker 5: But you know, the game was different than you know

1777
01:23:25,080 --> 01:23:27,040
Speaker 5: what I'm saying. I had to be game tight after that,

1778
01:23:27,640 --> 01:23:29,320
Speaker 5: but I think it was. It was a great lesson

1779
01:23:29,360 --> 01:23:31,080
Speaker 5: within it. But it was something I never forgot though,

1780
01:23:31,120 --> 01:23:32,840
Speaker 5: because that was the first time and only time that happened.

1781
01:23:32,880 --> 01:23:34,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think I forget that either.

1782
01:23:34,600 --> 01:23:36,360
Speaker 3: But I think man of the ship, like that happens

1783
01:23:36,360 --> 01:23:38,759
Speaker 3: to man and then they're like all women are horse

1784
01:23:38,840 --> 01:23:41,280
Speaker 3: from whore Island. Like I was like man that get

1785
01:23:41,320 --> 01:23:44,120
Speaker 3: like emotionally scarred from ship like that when that happened

1786
01:23:44,120 --> 01:23:44,960
Speaker 3: at a young age.

1787
01:23:45,320 --> 01:23:49,599
Speaker 1: Chos, that's why it's a horse story. But I always

1788
01:23:49,640 --> 01:23:51,880
Speaker 1: knew my potential to though, you know what I'm saying.

1789
01:23:51,920 --> 01:23:54,160
Speaker 5: So I don't think it was ever one of those

1790
01:23:54,200 --> 01:23:56,680
Speaker 5: things where you made me feel less about myself. I

1791
01:23:56,760 --> 01:23:58,719
Speaker 5: also knew his capabilities, like he.

1792
01:23:58,600 --> 01:24:00,680
Speaker 1: Was a master at this older brother.

1793
01:24:01,080 --> 01:24:03,720
Speaker 5: Yeah, not just like out of human beings, he is

1794
01:24:03,760 --> 01:24:05,000
Speaker 5: a master at it, right.

1795
01:24:05,040 --> 01:24:07,360
Speaker 1: He could he could pull almost anyone. Right.

1796
01:24:07,479 --> 01:24:09,680
Speaker 5: So but I thought that, you know, my game was

1797
01:24:09,720 --> 01:24:13,160
Speaker 5: tight and safe, right, So I learned the lesson. You

1798
01:24:13,240 --> 01:24:16,160
Speaker 5: understand me, and so learn Yeah, you gotta learn some

1799
01:24:16,200 --> 01:24:18,599
Speaker 5: tough lessons, but you know, growing up with a lot

1800
01:24:18,640 --> 01:24:21,719
Speaker 5: of brothers, Like I said, you learn not to be jealous,

1801
01:24:21,760 --> 01:24:24,080
Speaker 5: You learn not to be envious, right, you really learn

1802
01:24:24,120 --> 01:24:25,320
Speaker 5: to share the world with other men.

1803
01:24:26,120 --> 01:24:30,840
Speaker 4: When's your birthday? Four? Yeah, my dad's May second. Do

1804
01:24:30,880 --> 01:24:33,800
Speaker 4: you believe this could be a do you believe in

1805
01:24:33,840 --> 01:24:35,200
Speaker 4: like having multiple wives?

1806
01:24:36,360 --> 01:24:38,400
Speaker 1: This is my sister called me and asked me about this.

1807
01:24:39,439 --> 01:24:43,439
Speaker 4: I need to know too, the sage yo yo.

1808
01:24:43,560 --> 01:24:44,800
Speaker 1: It was an intense conversation.

1809
01:24:46,880 --> 01:24:48,840
Speaker 4: Why is that something she's experiencing.

1810
01:24:48,439 --> 01:24:49,000
Speaker 2: Or something.

1811
01:24:51,280 --> 01:24:53,000
Speaker 1: I don't want to go it's her business. I don't

1812
01:24:53,000 --> 01:24:55,599
Speaker 1: want to go into it. What do you believe she's

1813
01:24:55,600 --> 01:24:59,080
Speaker 1: not experiencing it? By the way, but it's interesting.

1814
01:24:59,280 --> 01:25:01,200
Speaker 5: I think I have a level view of it rather

1815
01:25:01,240 --> 01:25:05,360
Speaker 5: than a personal right because it's like asking a person.

1816
01:25:05,120 --> 01:25:07,599
Speaker 1: Do you believe in same sex marriage? Right?

1817
01:25:08,200 --> 01:25:08,400
Speaker 4: Right?

1818
01:25:08,520 --> 01:25:10,800
Speaker 5: Many people have they take so they say don't they do?

1819
01:25:10,960 --> 01:25:12,920
Speaker 5: And then some people will say love is love. Some

1820
01:25:12,960 --> 01:25:15,080
Speaker 5: people say, well, I can see how why not let

1821
01:25:15,160 --> 01:25:16,200
Speaker 5: people love who they love?

1822
01:25:16,479 --> 01:25:16,639
Speaker 1: Right?

1823
01:25:16,720 --> 01:25:19,599
Speaker 5: So, in my political version of that, if you believe

1824
01:25:19,600 --> 01:25:21,720
Speaker 5: in same sex marriage, you have to believe in polygamy

1825
01:25:21,800 --> 01:25:26,360
Speaker 5: otherwise you're a hypocrite. Right, So I believe also that

1826
01:25:27,120 --> 01:25:30,679
Speaker 5: men and women are different, and mostly men are different. Right,

1827
01:25:30,880 --> 01:25:33,559
Speaker 5: Men have different character types, personality types.

1828
01:25:33,640 --> 01:25:36,160
Speaker 1: Right. If you go throughout the world, most of the time,

1829
01:25:36,160 --> 01:25:37,080
Speaker 1: when you find.

1830
01:25:36,840 --> 01:25:40,840
Speaker 5: A group of like melanated black people, they're practicing polygamy, right,

1831
01:25:40,880 --> 01:25:43,200
Speaker 5: a large group. Right, You're not gonna find forty five

1832
01:25:43,240 --> 01:25:46,960
Speaker 5: million Black people where culturally they don't practice polygamy. Right,

1833
01:25:47,120 --> 01:25:50,519
Speaker 5: we don't because we're not in an African culture. Right,

1834
01:25:50,520 --> 01:25:52,920
Speaker 5: We're in a Western culture. We went through five hundred

1835
01:25:52,960 --> 01:25:55,600
Speaker 5: years of slavery, and we practiced what our slave matters practice.

1836
01:25:55,720 --> 01:25:55,920
Speaker 1: Right.

1837
01:25:56,040 --> 01:26:00,280
Speaker 5: Their form of love ideas romanticism. So I think that

1838
01:26:00,360 --> 01:26:04,080
Speaker 5: the reality, which is unfortunate, that there's some man, you know,

1839
01:26:04,120 --> 01:26:06,920
Speaker 5: who shouldn't think about it at all. And then I

1840
01:26:06,960 --> 01:26:09,040
Speaker 5: think that there are some men who may be possibly

1841
01:26:09,080 --> 01:26:12,880
Speaker 5: qualified for it, or that that's their personality type towards love.

1842
01:26:13,479 --> 01:26:16,320
Speaker 1: Where one man get graded on monogamy and that's easy

1843
01:26:16,320 --> 01:26:17,679
Speaker 1: for him because that's all he wants.

1844
01:26:18,400 --> 01:26:20,599
Speaker 5: Or another man doesn't want to practice monogamy and he's

1845
01:26:20,600 --> 01:26:22,680
Speaker 5: treated bad, but that was never what he wants. It

1846
01:26:22,840 --> 01:26:25,160
Speaker 5: just was never allowed to express that because society never

1847
01:26:25,240 --> 01:26:29,040
Speaker 5: created an opportunity for that. So I think that polygamy

1848
01:26:29,240 --> 01:26:31,679
Speaker 5: should be looked at in that particular type of way.

1849
01:26:32,280 --> 01:26:32,960
Speaker 1: You understand me.

1850
01:26:33,000 --> 01:26:35,240
Speaker 5: I think it should be looked at responsibly, But most

1851
01:26:35,240 --> 01:26:37,840
Speaker 5: people want to look at it personally, right, and so

1852
01:26:37,880 --> 01:26:40,400
Speaker 5: therefore it always gets a bad rap. And so people

1853
01:26:40,400 --> 01:26:43,320
Speaker 5: who want to practice that are men of resources who

1854
01:26:43,360 --> 01:26:45,719
Speaker 5: practice that is held differently than a man of.

1855
01:26:45,600 --> 01:26:47,040
Speaker 1: No resources who practice it.

1856
01:26:47,479 --> 01:26:49,600
Speaker 5: You just look at Diddy is practicing it, you know

1857
01:26:49,640 --> 01:26:53,200
Speaker 5: what I'm saying, Nick Cannon definitely practicing it right now?

1858
01:26:53,439 --> 01:26:56,040
Speaker 3: Would you practice it in your personal practice, in your

1859
01:26:56,040 --> 01:26:56,599
Speaker 3: personal relation?

1860
01:26:57,320 --> 01:27:02,519
Speaker 2: Answer? Are you gonna answer the question a person?

1861
01:27:02,720 --> 01:27:06,160
Speaker 5: No, I'm not practicing I'm not practicing polygamy currently.

1862
01:27:06,720 --> 01:27:07,160
Speaker 1: No, I'm not.

1863
01:27:07,200 --> 01:27:09,400
Speaker 2: I don't have a wow.

1864
01:27:10,560 --> 01:27:10,840
Speaker 1: List a.

1865
01:27:10,880 --> 01:27:13,880
Speaker 5: God is the great noer. Listen, I'm not practicing polygamy.

1866
01:27:13,920 --> 01:27:16,080
Speaker 5: I don't plan on practicing polygamy. You understand me. But

1867
01:27:16,120 --> 01:27:19,040
Speaker 5: God is the best of knowers. So all I'm saying

1868
01:27:19,080 --> 01:27:21,360
Speaker 5: is the fact that like I'm of the one, I'm

1869
01:27:21,400 --> 01:27:23,519
Speaker 5: mother the zero point zero zero one percent man.

1870
01:27:23,960 --> 01:27:24,519
Speaker 1: You understand me.

1871
01:27:24,560 --> 01:27:26,320
Speaker 5: It's not men who think like me in the position

1872
01:27:26,360 --> 01:27:32,040
Speaker 5: that I am right financially, spiritually, intellectually, resource wise, influence wise, right.

1873
01:27:32,400 --> 01:27:36,200
Speaker 5: And I think that men today have a different experience

1874
01:27:36,200 --> 01:27:37,519
Speaker 5: than men of any other time.

1875
01:27:37,400 --> 01:27:38,320
Speaker 1: Same way women are.

1876
01:27:38,720 --> 01:27:41,519
Speaker 5: But the plethora of options that men get to see

1877
01:27:41,600 --> 01:27:45,840
Speaker 5: visually changes the dynamic of what men want, right, And

1878
01:27:45,920 --> 01:27:48,960
Speaker 5: so with social media and all of these different things,

1879
01:27:49,040 --> 01:27:50,840
Speaker 5: I think you have to take that into account the

1880
01:27:50,880 --> 01:27:55,200
Speaker 5: way you deal with this generation, right, because it's unfair

1881
01:27:55,920 --> 01:27:59,200
Speaker 5: for men of this generation to be born under these

1882
01:27:59,240 --> 01:28:02,200
Speaker 5: circumstances but get graded by men of every other generation

1883
01:28:02,240 --> 01:28:05,519
Speaker 5: and character. So I just want people to approach the

1884
01:28:05,560 --> 01:28:10,240
Speaker 5: situation with empathy when you think why are men this way? Right, Like,

1885
01:28:10,400 --> 01:28:12,200
Speaker 5: how did they get here in the first place? If

1886
01:28:12,240 --> 01:28:14,599
Speaker 5: you were a man and we're prone to look at

1887
01:28:14,600 --> 01:28:17,320
Speaker 5: things visually, prone to want these things like the options

1888
01:28:17,360 --> 01:28:19,760
Speaker 5: are everywhere. I would listen to minutes so far kind

1889
01:28:19,800 --> 01:28:21,840
Speaker 5: of talk about it was a speech he was given

1890
01:28:22,320 --> 01:28:25,080
Speaker 5: and he was talking about it was funny because he

1891
01:28:25,160 --> 01:28:28,519
Speaker 5: was explaining how like women that's like he was explaining

1892
01:28:28,600 --> 01:28:30,640
Speaker 5: something about, like, you know, men of that airs like

1893
01:28:30,640 --> 01:28:32,479
Speaker 5: the seventies. He was talking about you seeing the women

1894
01:28:32,560 --> 01:28:35,639
Speaker 5: out there, you know they wearing the tight skirts and dresses,

1895
01:28:35,720 --> 01:28:37,760
Speaker 5: and you know you gotta deal with that as a man.

1896
01:28:37,760 --> 01:28:40,960
Speaker 5: The temptation is everywhere, and I'm like, that's nothing to

1897
01:28:41,040 --> 01:28:44,160
Speaker 5: what we deal with. Now you understand me, Like that's

1898
01:28:44,320 --> 01:28:48,440
Speaker 5: ours just on ten times steroids. Right, So the discipline

1899
01:28:48,439 --> 01:28:50,760
Speaker 5: that those men had to have in they generation is

1900
01:28:50,840 --> 01:28:53,320
Speaker 5: nothing compared to what you think the discipline of this

1901
01:28:53,439 --> 01:28:56,599
Speaker 5: child don't have a father, no emotional intelligence. The world

1902
01:28:56,600 --> 01:29:00,120
Speaker 5: is selling sex at every single turn, Like, so now

1903
01:29:00,200 --> 01:29:01,920
Speaker 5: you're going to grade them by the same standards that

1904
01:29:01,960 --> 01:29:03,759
Speaker 5: the world had for the last thousand years.

1905
01:29:04,360 --> 01:29:09,240
Speaker 3: I think it's unfair with the women too confused trying

1906
01:29:09,280 --> 01:29:10,719
Speaker 3: to you know, be chosen.

1907
01:29:10,960 --> 01:29:14,320
Speaker 4: It's just we are so far from where we've come.

1908
01:29:14,760 --> 01:29:17,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, I know you talk about like I

1909
01:29:17,479 --> 01:29:21,760
Speaker 3: think I heard a podcast you're talking about like like

1910
01:29:21,880 --> 01:29:25,599
Speaker 3: whodoo and voodoo and like our original I mean religion

1911
01:29:25,680 --> 01:29:29,000
Speaker 3: really you know, but like does the Nation of Islam,

1912
01:29:29,000 --> 01:29:32,200
Speaker 3: like I know, in other like most strict religious like

1913
01:29:32,240 --> 01:29:37,200
Speaker 3: structures like Christianity anything of that sort would be considered

1914
01:29:37,280 --> 01:29:42,519
Speaker 3: demonic in ways. But like because is that something that

1915
01:29:42,760 --> 01:29:47,519
Speaker 3: like the Muslims considered to be dark or is that Okay, Well.

1916
01:29:47,360 --> 01:29:49,080
Speaker 5: We don't believe in a mystery god, so I don't

1917
01:29:49,080 --> 01:29:51,880
Speaker 5: believe in like yo, that's just devil worship stuff.

1918
01:29:51,880 --> 01:29:52,360
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.

1919
01:29:52,400 --> 01:29:55,640
Speaker 5: I look at things practically and logically, Like you know,

1920
01:29:55,920 --> 01:30:00,479
Speaker 5: voodoo come from African practices and spirituality. You know, when

1921
01:30:00,479 --> 01:30:02,639
Speaker 5: you look at the history, it was white people who

1922
01:30:02,640 --> 01:30:05,360
Speaker 5: demonized it, right because they was getting beat by everybody

1923
01:30:05,360 --> 01:30:08,400
Speaker 5: who practiced it. The Haitians practiced it, they won. Jamaicans

1924
01:30:08,520 --> 01:30:11,800
Speaker 5: was up there practicing with Nanny and the Maroons. They won, right,

1925
01:30:11,960 --> 01:30:13,960
Speaker 5: and so they didn't know how to fight against it.

1926
01:30:14,000 --> 01:30:16,040
Speaker 5: Then they start using it. They took it from you,

1927
01:30:16,120 --> 01:30:21,320
Speaker 5: used it, demonized it. But it's the same way women

1928
01:30:21,320 --> 01:30:23,680
Speaker 5: were called witches. What they was using herbs, You know

1929
01:30:23,680 --> 01:30:26,200
Speaker 5: what I'm saying. It was herbal remedies and practicing concuctions.

1930
01:30:26,200 --> 01:30:27,000
Speaker 5: It was chemistry.

1931
01:30:27,479 --> 01:30:27,639
Speaker 1: Right.

1932
01:30:27,920 --> 01:30:31,040
Speaker 5: Black people learn how to utilize the essence of their environment.

1933
01:30:31,120 --> 01:30:33,599
Speaker 5: That's how we want wars. That's how we developed things.

1934
01:30:33,600 --> 01:30:36,240
Speaker 5: How you think we learned about herbs and remedies and

1935
01:30:36,280 --> 01:30:37,000
Speaker 5: things of that nature.

1936
01:30:37,040 --> 01:30:39,040
Speaker 1: We had to go practice and mixture and do a

1937
01:30:39,080 --> 01:30:41,280
Speaker 1: bunch of different things. We did a lot of a

1938
01:30:41,320 --> 01:30:42,719
Speaker 1: lot of Like Black people are.

1939
01:30:42,600 --> 01:30:47,320
Speaker 5: Innately spiritual, and this is what the Western experience misses

1940
01:30:47,400 --> 01:30:52,640
Speaker 5: so much, right, Like the spiritual personality, the spiritual, you know,

1941
01:30:52,840 --> 01:30:56,000
Speaker 5: characteristics and evolution and a lot of things. Things can

1942
01:30:56,040 --> 01:30:59,559
Speaker 5: be named by something else, right, Like people believe in

1943
01:30:59,560 --> 01:31:02,000
Speaker 5: manifest station. It's a belief in the unsaying you can

1944
01:31:02,040 --> 01:31:06,679
Speaker 5: call things into existence, right, Like somebody else may say

1945
01:31:06,680 --> 01:31:10,839
Speaker 5: that they are well they practice magic and you understand me,

1946
01:31:11,360 --> 01:31:15,160
Speaker 5: and yeah, it's alchemy. Or somebody say they're summoning something.

1947
01:31:15,280 --> 01:31:18,240
Speaker 1: Right. You change the word and it's demonized. Right.

1948
01:31:18,360 --> 01:31:21,639
Speaker 5: So I think that most people are practicing the same thing.

1949
01:31:21,840 --> 01:31:24,160
Speaker 5: Human beings have the same power. The thing about it

1950
01:31:24,200 --> 01:31:24,839
Speaker 5: is the intention.

1951
01:31:25,640 --> 01:31:25,800
Speaker 1: Right.

1952
01:31:25,920 --> 01:31:28,679
Speaker 5: An evil person, whatever they pick up and practice, is evil.

1953
01:31:29,360 --> 01:31:33,639
Speaker 5: A good person sometimes can practice something unknowingly evil right

1954
01:31:33,680 --> 01:31:36,800
Speaker 5: with good intent. So it is important to be able

1955
01:31:36,840 --> 01:31:39,679
Speaker 5: to filter through when you're being used as a tool

1956
01:31:39,720 --> 01:31:42,720
Speaker 5: for the devil with the intent of God.

1957
01:31:44,120 --> 01:31:45,200
Speaker 4: Wise man.

1958
01:31:47,640 --> 01:31:51,640
Speaker 2: So before we let you go, we did pull a card. Yeah,

1959
01:31:52,439 --> 01:31:56,040
Speaker 2: and you pulled the six of six of.

1960
01:31:55,960 --> 01:31:57,000
Speaker 4: One, six of wine.

1961
01:31:57,080 --> 01:31:57,559
Speaker 2: I haven't hear.

1962
01:31:57,720 --> 01:31:59,759
Speaker 4: Wait, oh, I got the wrong Danford.

1963
01:32:02,200 --> 01:32:06,160
Speaker 2: And so let's read what the card's saying about. I

1964
01:32:06,200 --> 01:32:06,439
Speaker 2: don't know.

1965
01:32:06,479 --> 01:32:09,040
Speaker 4: I just want to bring to the attention that it's a.

1966
01:32:10,479 --> 01:32:14,599
Speaker 3: Night and his noble steed, and there's people following behind him,

1967
01:32:14,600 --> 01:32:16,519
Speaker 3: and he's wearing this hat that looks very much like

1968
01:32:16,840 --> 01:32:17,400
Speaker 3: look The s.

1969
01:32:17,600 --> 01:32:21,559
Speaker 2: Of Wands depicts a man wearing a victory wreath around

1970
01:32:21,600 --> 01:32:25,960
Speaker 2: his head and riding a decorated white horse through a

1971
01:32:26,000 --> 01:32:29,680
Speaker 2: crowd of cheering people. His horse represents strength, purity, and

1972
01:32:29,720 --> 01:32:32,680
Speaker 2: the successful progression of an adventure, and the group of

1973
01:32:32,720 --> 01:32:37,280
Speaker 2: people marks the public recognition for the man's achievements. Upright,

1974
01:32:37,360 --> 01:32:41,320
Speaker 2: this card means success, public recognition, progress, and self confidence.

1975
01:32:42,680 --> 01:32:44,479
Speaker 2: The six of Wands appears when you have reached an

1976
01:32:44,479 --> 01:32:47,599
Speaker 2: important milestone or achieved a significant goal, and you are confident,

1977
01:32:47,680 --> 01:32:51,120
Speaker 2: self assured, and successful. You harness your strengths and talents

1978
01:32:51,120 --> 01:32:53,439
Speaker 2: to bring about a happy outcome in your endeavors and

1979
01:32:53,439 --> 01:32:55,960
Speaker 2: made it through the chaos of the five of wanes,

1980
01:32:56,560 --> 01:33:00,439
Speaker 2: minimizing your distractions and focusing on the task at hand. Yes,

1981
01:33:00,479 --> 01:33:02,680
Speaker 2: there were challenges along the way, but you overcame them

1982
01:33:02,720 --> 01:33:06,759
Speaker 2: by concentrating your energies on the target. The six of ones.

1983
01:33:07,560 --> 01:33:09,320
Speaker 2: The six of Ones suggests that not only have you

1984
01:33:09,360 --> 01:33:13,000
Speaker 2: achieved your goals, but you are also receiving public acknowledgment

1985
01:33:13,080 --> 01:33:15,559
Speaker 2: for your efforts. You may have recently received an award,

1986
01:33:15,680 --> 01:33:18,200
Speaker 2: a claim or recognition from your peers for your work.

1987
01:33:18,640 --> 01:33:20,200
Speaker 2: It may be even just a pat on the back,

1988
01:33:20,240 --> 01:33:22,759
Speaker 2: but this attention is a big boost to your confidence

1989
01:33:22,800 --> 01:33:26,640
Speaker 2: and gives you the strength to continue your endeavors. The

1990
01:33:26,680 --> 01:33:28,920
Speaker 2: six of Ones is a positive encouragement to believe in

1991
01:33:28,960 --> 01:33:32,040
Speaker 2: who you are and your accomplishment so far. Have faith

1992
01:33:32,040 --> 01:33:34,400
Speaker 2: in what you've done and how others will receive it.

1993
01:33:34,640 --> 01:33:36,639
Speaker 2: Do not let fear or guilt stand in the way

1994
01:33:36,640 --> 01:33:39,040
Speaker 2: of your success. You ought to be proud, hold your

1995
01:33:39,040 --> 01:33:41,560
Speaker 2: head up high and know you're worthy of admiration.

1996
01:33:42,600 --> 01:33:44,120
Speaker 1: That's powerful. Thank you.

1997
01:33:44,600 --> 01:33:47,000
Speaker 4: Does that resonate with you, Yeah.

1998
01:33:46,760 --> 01:33:50,120
Speaker 5: Very clearly, very loudly. See, it's like what you know

1999
01:33:50,160 --> 01:33:53,479
Speaker 5: you call terra. I'll just call it synchronicity. Absolutely, you know,

2000
01:33:53,760 --> 01:33:57,479
Speaker 5: finding meaning in otherwise meaningless, like meaning in coincidence. One

2001
01:33:57,479 --> 01:33:59,639
Speaker 5: person said, maybe that's a coincidence, but what's the meaning

2002
01:33:59,640 --> 01:34:00,400
Speaker 5: in it?

2003
01:34:00,720 --> 01:34:06,559
Speaker 1: Right? And so for me, Ted is it's synchronicity, alignment energy.

2004
01:34:07,760 --> 01:34:12,200
Speaker 3: I'm always looking for messages from the ethers, from spirit

2005
01:34:12,280 --> 01:34:15,760
Speaker 3: and they can come in all ways. But before we go,

2006
01:34:15,960 --> 01:34:18,719
Speaker 3: you know, this is money March, and we're talking about money,

2007
01:34:18,880 --> 01:34:22,760
Speaker 3: mindset and wealth and abundance. And I'm just wondering do

2008
01:34:22,760 --> 01:34:26,000
Speaker 3: you have any advice as far as money, mindset and

2009
01:34:26,040 --> 01:34:28,680
Speaker 3: wealth for our community. If you have any advice that

2010
01:34:28,760 --> 01:34:30,680
Speaker 3: you have to give to the people, what would it

2011
01:34:30,720 --> 01:34:35,000
Speaker 3: be building generational wealth or.

2012
01:34:35,000 --> 01:34:37,439
Speaker 1: I would say built the habits of wealth? Right.

2013
01:34:37,560 --> 01:34:40,280
Speaker 5: Many people have wealth goals, but they don't have wealth habits.

2014
01:34:41,000 --> 01:34:41,240
Speaker 1: Right.

2015
01:34:41,720 --> 01:34:44,320
Speaker 5: So it's like you can want a million dollars, but

2016
01:34:44,360 --> 01:34:45,880
Speaker 5: if you don't have the habits that will get you

2017
01:34:45,920 --> 01:34:48,599
Speaker 5: a million dollars, you'll never get it. A wealthy man

2018
01:34:48,600 --> 01:34:51,160
Speaker 5: who has wealthy habits and he wants a million dollars,

2019
01:34:51,160 --> 01:34:51,880
Speaker 5: he's going to get it.

2020
01:34:52,479 --> 01:34:52,719
Speaker 1: Right.

2021
01:34:53,200 --> 01:34:56,320
Speaker 5: So you never want to have wealth habits with poor Well,

2022
01:34:56,680 --> 01:34:59,719
Speaker 5: you don't want to have wealth goal with poor man habits? Right,

2023
01:34:59,760 --> 01:35:02,040
Speaker 5: So so what does that person do to get to

2024
01:35:02,080 --> 01:35:04,639
Speaker 5: where they are? So when you focus on the process

2025
01:35:04,760 --> 01:35:07,920
Speaker 5: versus the outcome, right, Well, I need to research, I

2026
01:35:07,920 --> 01:35:09,800
Speaker 5: need to study, or I need to create me a

2027
01:35:09,840 --> 01:35:12,600
Speaker 5: financial plan. Right, I need to develop this skill, I

2028
01:35:12,640 --> 01:35:15,000
Speaker 5: need to create these different streams of income. I need

2029
01:35:15,040 --> 01:35:18,839
Speaker 5: to do this consistently, right, Like focus on the habits

2030
01:35:18,840 --> 01:35:20,600
Speaker 5: that you need to develop. I need to get this

2031
01:35:20,720 --> 01:35:22,559
Speaker 5: type of coaching. I need to be around these type

2032
01:35:22,560 --> 01:35:25,599
Speaker 5: of people. I need to go in these environments more frequently. Right,

2033
01:35:26,600 --> 01:35:29,920
Speaker 5: you want to become the person that can produce the wealth.

2034
01:35:30,000 --> 01:35:33,000
Speaker 5: Become the person, right that can produce the outcome that

2035
01:35:33,040 --> 01:35:36,960
Speaker 5: you want to achieve. So if you focus on, you know,

2036
01:35:37,040 --> 01:35:40,920
Speaker 5: the process versus the outcome, then wealth is inevitable. But

2037
01:35:41,040 --> 01:35:42,920
Speaker 5: if you have a goal and you're not the person

2038
01:35:43,000 --> 01:35:45,200
Speaker 5: with the habits that can achieve that goal, it's just

2039
01:35:45,240 --> 01:35:46,280
Speaker 5: a wish and an illusion.

2040
01:35:46,960 --> 01:35:51,320
Speaker 2: Oh wow, I love that. That's so true. Yeah. I

2041
01:35:51,320 --> 01:35:54,800
Speaker 2: think a lot of people they they think that. I mean,

2042
01:35:54,800 --> 01:35:57,200
Speaker 2: we talked about manifesting last month and or just the

2043
01:35:57,240 --> 01:36:00,240
Speaker 2: law of attraction, and one of the big messages is that,

2044
01:36:00,280 --> 01:36:03,240
Speaker 2: like you can't just wish upon a star and shit

2045
01:36:03,400 --> 01:36:06,360
Speaker 2: just happens. Like you have to put yourself in positions,

2046
01:36:06,400 --> 01:36:09,439
Speaker 2: in places and mindsets in order to call those things in.

2047
01:36:09,880 --> 01:36:12,960
Speaker 2: You have to be in those positions and and and

2048
01:36:13,240 --> 01:36:16,639
Speaker 2: be living that life of the millionaire that you want

2049
01:36:16,680 --> 01:36:20,120
Speaker 2: to be. So that's that's really great advice. Thank you.

2050
01:36:20,200 --> 01:36:22,880
Speaker 1: They make withdrawals if you never made deposits.

2051
01:36:24,280 --> 01:36:28,479
Speaker 2: It's true. So where can our people find you?

2052
01:36:29,040 --> 01:36:32,960
Speaker 1: They can find me everywhere on Instagram nineteen underscore Keys.

2053
01:36:33,800 --> 01:36:35,000
Speaker 1: There's a lot of fake bots.

2054
01:36:35,240 --> 01:36:35,519
Speaker 3: I know.

2055
01:36:35,560 --> 01:36:36,840
Speaker 4: I saw that, so yeah, it makes.

2056
01:36:36,720 --> 01:36:37,479
Speaker 1: You get the right one.

2057
01:36:37,560 --> 01:36:39,320
Speaker 2: There's a lot I don't know that.

2058
01:36:39,800 --> 01:36:42,679
Speaker 1: It's a lot of nice picture making fake pages.

2059
01:36:44,320 --> 01:36:46,360
Speaker 5: And then of course on YouTube you can find me

2060
01:36:46,400 --> 01:36:48,880
Speaker 5: in nineteen keys all one word, and then I have

2061
01:36:48,960 --> 01:36:53,040
Speaker 5: my show High Level Conversations, and then of course you

2062
01:36:53,040 --> 01:36:55,320
Speaker 5: know b WO. If you want to join a coaching program,

2063
01:36:55,360 --> 01:36:58,360
Speaker 5: I teach every Monday and every other Wednesday, and we

2064
01:36:58,479 --> 01:37:01,519
Speaker 5: have the physical fitness where we go through the challenges

2065
01:37:01,520 --> 01:37:04,320
Speaker 5: with people for transformation. Then we have the financial literacy

2066
01:37:04,360 --> 01:37:07,320
Speaker 5: class and we bring in guest lecturers. But it's coaching,

2067
01:37:07,360 --> 01:37:09,880
Speaker 5: so we're taking you through the process, right, rather than

2068
01:37:10,000 --> 01:37:13,439
Speaker 5: just giving you the knowledge to a course. And then

2069
01:37:13,479 --> 01:37:15,479
Speaker 5: of course I have my book, I have my crowns,

2070
01:37:15,520 --> 01:37:17,599
Speaker 5: I have my health products, right, so if you want

2071
01:37:17,600 --> 01:37:19,519
Speaker 5: to support any of those things, when you find me.

2072
01:37:19,520 --> 01:37:20,519
Speaker 1: There will be a link in a bio.

2073
01:37:20,800 --> 01:37:23,760
Speaker 3: I want a crown absolutely, I have to go pick

2074
01:37:23,760 --> 01:37:25,599
Speaker 3: that up now with my afros popping.

2075
01:37:25,640 --> 01:37:27,160
Speaker 2: I don't know how much work, but I.

2076
01:37:27,080 --> 01:37:29,479
Speaker 4: Didn't know that was an option. I didn't know. Crowns.

2077
01:37:29,840 --> 01:37:31,479
Speaker 5: Yeah, we got the hats, we got the crowns, we

2078
01:37:31,520 --> 01:37:34,000
Speaker 5: got the bucket hats understand me. So we have it

2079
01:37:34,000 --> 01:37:36,760
Speaker 5: in I called those are the top crowns understand me,

2080
01:37:36,800 --> 01:37:38,240
Speaker 5: so we have it in different iterations.

2081
01:37:38,680 --> 01:37:42,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, you know where to find us, ladies and gentlemen,

2082
01:37:42,880 --> 01:37:45,960
Speaker 3: Good Mom's Underscore Bad Choices on Instagram Good Mom's Bad

2083
01:37:46,040 --> 01:37:48,000
Speaker 3: Choices and well, if you're listening, you know where to

2084
01:37:48,040 --> 01:37:52,200
Speaker 3: find us. We have a retreat coming up in July

2085
01:37:52,720 --> 01:37:55,680
Speaker 3: in Mexico to retreats, please come check it out and

2086
01:37:55,760 --> 01:37:59,479
Speaker 3: join us. We're healing the women and healing ourselves and

2087
01:38:00,040 --> 01:38:04,760
Speaker 3: you guys. Our book is on pre sale. A Good

2088
01:38:04,760 --> 01:38:08,519
Speaker 3: Mom's Guide to Making Bad Choices is now live on

2089
01:38:08,600 --> 01:38:11,560
Speaker 3: Barnes Andnoble dot com and Amazon dot com. If you

2090
01:38:11,600 --> 01:38:14,519
Speaker 3: want to feed that beast either way, feed us and

2091
01:38:14,600 --> 01:38:17,680
Speaker 3: go support two single moms. And you know, we put

2092
01:38:17,680 --> 01:38:20,240
Speaker 3: some gems in this book and a lot of personal experiences.

2093
01:38:20,320 --> 01:38:22,400
Speaker 4: It's a memoir. It's prescriptive.

2094
01:38:22,880 --> 01:38:24,000
Speaker 2: What else that's hit?

2095
01:38:24,560 --> 01:38:26,280
Speaker 4: We love you, Talk to you next week.

2096
01:38:26,439 --> 01:38:26,719
Speaker 1: Bye,