Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to the Spirited Actor Podcast with me
Speaker 1: Tracy Moore. I was a casting director for film and
Speaker 1: TV and commercials for over thirty years. I transition to
Speaker 1: a celebrity acting coach after I cast a film New
Speaker 1: Jersey Drive with executive producers Spike Lee and director Nick Thomaz.
Speaker 1: I audition every rapper from Biggie Spalls to Tupac, and
Speaker 1: I realized the rappers and musical artists they needed help
Speaker 1: transitioning to acting. My clients consist of musical artists from
Speaker 1: Buster Rhymes to Eve, Missy Elliott, Angela Yee from The
Speaker 1: Breakfast Club, and Vanessa Simmons, to name a few. I
Speaker 1: also coach sports stars and host as well. I feel
Speaker 1: I have the best of both worlds. As a casting director,
Speaker 1: I know exactly what they're looking for, and as an
Speaker 1: acting coach, I can coach you to be remembered in
Speaker 1: that room. Now I know. I know actors want to
Speaker 1: get the job. I get that, but being remembered by
Speaker 1: a casting director that is powerful. And now it's time
Speaker 1: for meditation of the day. It's not how much we give,
Speaker 1: but how much love we put into the giving. Mother Teresa,
Speaker 1: so you got to be cautious. You have to be
Speaker 1: cautious of dream bursters. They will try to distract, discourage,
Speaker 1: and passively aggressively tell you they're only being honest. But
Speaker 1: does it feel good? If it doesn't, then why are
Speaker 1: you still entertaining that energy? As an actor? It's so
Speaker 1: important because you give so much that you save a
Speaker 1: little bit for yourself and your friends and your family.
Speaker 1: But what's important is that you know what energy is
Speaker 1: positive and what energy is negative. If it's not conducive
Speaker 1: to moving your life along in a peaceful, happy way,
Speaker 1: then you need to question the time that you spend
Speaker 1: because you're wasting time. Positive energy attracts positive energy. Negative
Speaker 1: energy attracts negative energy. Today, I will sit in positive energy.
Speaker 1: Before we get started, I'd like to remind everyone to
Speaker 1: look out for my new show, Inside the Black Box.
Speaker 1: I'll be co hosting with the great Joe Morton. We'll
Speaker 1: be on Cracle Network real soon. I'll keep you posted.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Spirited Actor Podcast with me, Tracy Moore,
Speaker 1: and today's guest. Please sit down, Please just sit down.
Speaker 1: However you document things, I need you to get your
Speaker 1: pen and paper. I need you to get your iPhone
Speaker 1: I need you to just put it up to record this,
Speaker 1: get it out of the archives, downloaded, our guest today.
Speaker 1: I am truely honored, truly honored to have this Spirit
Speaker 1: Actor alumni, this author, this very successful boss, this amazing
Speaker 1: human being. She Oh my god, this is when I
Speaker 1: have so much pride for my spirit Actor Aldi. But
Speaker 1: ladies and gentlemen, please stand up and put your hands
Speaker 1: together for urkel Cox. We are going to talk about
Speaker 1: her book Diamonds Are Forever Becoming a Boss after a
Speaker 1: loss Our Kettle Cox. Thank you, Tracy. I so appreciate you.
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, I've admired you for only twenty
Speaker 1: five years and you've been on this journey with me
Speaker 1: from Afar and so to see how God has put
Speaker 1: us back together what for years? Yeah, yeah, it's just
Speaker 1: for me. I didn't know at the time, but it
Speaker 1: was full circle moment I told you that a couple
Speaker 1: of I mean, because you really have been someone in
Speaker 1: this industry that I've looked up to and iron. So
Speaker 1: thank you. This being here today with you, I'm just
Speaker 1: like giddy, so think, Oh my god. I I had
Speaker 1: so many questions swirling around in my head right and
Speaker 1: I prayed and I was like, spirit, just give me
Speaker 1: the questions and you know, and I said, the stories
Speaker 1: are Kelle. You know this is a feature of film.
Speaker 1: I don't need to tell you that because she's also
Speaker 1: a producer of Ladies and Gentlemen, But this is a film.
Speaker 1: I just kept saying, who does Arkell want to play her?
Speaker 1: But the Arca Oh that I met was during the
Speaker 1: time of this evolution. I love how you talk about
Speaker 1: this coal And I'm gonna start off with her quote
Speaker 1: you guys, but prior to me meeting you and reading
Speaker 1: this book, I started to understand more because I didn't
Speaker 1: know that. And this is I would say two things
Speaker 1: that I want her to speak. Okay, what is you guys?
Speaker 1: As six years old, she asked her parents if she
Speaker 1: could sleep in their bed. She asked them a couple
Speaker 1: of times they closed the door on her because she
Speaker 1: was behind the door asking. She said, okay, as she
Speaker 1: walked into her room with a I don't know if
Speaker 1: it was a box or just matches in general, and
Speaker 1: she lit her bed on fire, and she writes how
Speaker 1: she calmly went back to her parents room and said, basically,
Speaker 1: I think you guys should check this out because my
Speaker 1: room's on fire. Yeah, and from that point on, not
Speaker 1: only did she sleep with them that night, but she
Speaker 1: slept in their bed after that. So that starts it off,
Speaker 1: you guys. I was like, WHOA, I didn't know that, Arl,
Speaker 1: there's a little mischievous, but I I love your journey
Speaker 1: and I want to start off by her quote. And
Speaker 1: then what I what spirit told me to talk about
Speaker 1: were the principles that you have in this book every
Speaker 1: single chapter, that this is a book to have around
Speaker 1: all the time as simple reminders when you're going through
Speaker 1: different things and challenges because you always revert back to God,
Speaker 1: regardless you were protected, you your spirit would just go
Speaker 1: to God and then there would be the spiritual growth
Speaker 1: during that period which would soar you somewhere else and
Speaker 1: then we go into the next chapter. That's what I felt.
Speaker 1: So I was like, I just want to hear the
Speaker 1: you know, the principles of what's going to help these actors.
Speaker 1: The story is going to be amazing to visually scene see,
Speaker 1: because we need to start off with that scene in
Speaker 1: the van. That is how it should start off. Our
Speaker 1: Colt jump right into it and take us for that
Speaker 1: ride because it's fierce, so she has this hole is
Speaker 1: just a piece of rock until it's put under extreme pressure,
Speaker 1: then a diamond is formed. Uh, I was in after that.
Speaker 1: How first of all, I want to know just going
Speaker 1: ahead because it feels very therapeutic as well. What was
Speaker 1: the inspiration? What was that moment when you said, I
Speaker 1: have to I have to get this out. I have
Speaker 1: to write this, I have to share it. And even
Speaker 1: if you know, two people buy my book, I just
Speaker 1: got to get this out. Well, the book traced him,
Speaker 1: to be quite honest with you, was just a labor
Speaker 1: of love. My figure Day passed away in twenty twelve.
Speaker 1: And when he passed away, we all know that his alias,
Speaker 1: his street name was Diamond because his mile just lit
Speaker 1: a room up so every and he loved diamonds. This
Speaker 1: was a man that was six four, two hundred and
Speaker 1: forty pounds cocoa skin, and you know he wore a
Speaker 1: big old diamond eary. He gave his wife diamonds, and
Speaker 1: so his name was Diamond. So hence why the book
Speaker 1: says diamonds are forever, because I believe that he will
Speaker 1: forever be with me and my children, right, and what
Speaker 1: we have done and what we've built over the years
Speaker 1: that we were together. We were married for fifteen years.
Speaker 1: In that fifteen years, I believe that that's why I'm
Speaker 1: who I am today because we had a plan. So
Speaker 1: the book was just to be written for my children,
Speaker 1: right just to say to them, you know, this is
Speaker 1: what mommy was, This is who I was. I was
Speaker 1: this girl growing up in Flatbush, Brooklyn. I'm a Brooklyn Knight,
Speaker 1: and you know, I was a product of my community.
Speaker 1: But I was always dancing and going to the beat
Speaker 1: up my own drum. I don't care where I was,
Speaker 1: who I was with. I could not be led or swaye.
Speaker 1: I was going to lead the charge. Sometimes it was
Speaker 1: not the best thing, and it wasn't the best, but
Speaker 1: what I thought was really important it was to be transparent, right, Tracy.
Speaker 1: I wanted to be transparent. Hence why I wrote about
Speaker 1: being six years old and setting the room on higher,
Speaker 1: because it's still in my mind, whether it was right
Speaker 1: or wrong, it was to the beat of my own drum.
Speaker 1: But I wanted to also show the evolution of me
Speaker 1: growing up in Brooklyn and being this you know, very
Speaker 1: strong headed young lady, but at the same time making
Speaker 1: bad choices. But just because you make bad decisions and
Speaker 1: bad choices doesn't make you a bad person. It's just
Speaker 1: you have to move on. You have to evolve. You
Speaker 1: have to now know that I can't do that again.
Speaker 1: Can't be in that company. Right. You're as smart as
Speaker 1: the group that you're in, Right, So if you're the
Speaker 1: smartest one in your group, you gotta get a new group, right,
Speaker 1: because you got to learn from people. And so I
Speaker 1: thought it was important for young people to read this
Speaker 1: book and not look at me who I am today
Speaker 1: and all the accolades and the doctrines and everything else,
Speaker 1: but to see, you know, it's like you. I was
Speaker 1: that girl who grew up in Flatbush, Brooklyn, but look
Speaker 1: what the choices that I've made have changed. And marrying
Speaker 1: day and us having a plan and us coming together
Speaker 1: and really sitting down as a young, you know, couple,
Speaker 1: young black couple in Brooklyn starting these businesses and just
Speaker 1: really trying to figure out life. I thought it was
Speaker 1: important to pay homage to him. And in October he
Speaker 1: passed away. His birthday's October twenty eighth, and he passed
Speaker 1: away in the thirty of two days later. So the
Speaker 1: book was never supposed to be public. The book was
Speaker 1: just for me to have something for the kids to
Speaker 1: know our story, right, because they was seven and fourteen.
Speaker 1: And so when I wrote the book, I was in Staples. Well,
Speaker 1: my daughter gave me in December, she gave me a
Speaker 1: T shirt for Christmas and she said, world's next best author.
Speaker 1: And I suppose this about about author. She says, you've
Speaker 1: gotten your book. You've gotten seven chapters and you can't
Speaker 1: get finished because you can't deal with daddy dying. You
Speaker 1: need to get And so we know as parents, when
Speaker 1: our children charge us to do something, we're going to
Speaker 1: do it right. So I sat behind my desk. I
Speaker 1: was on plane rides to and from Dubai or Africa
Speaker 1: wherever I was going. Those long plane rides is when
Speaker 1: I would open up my computer and write. But then
Speaker 1: I said, let me be more purposeful in writing this book.
Speaker 1: And so I finished a day I wrote this book
Speaker 1: and finished the book. Tracy. I literally went to Staples,
Speaker 1: and as I was in Staples, people were sobbing all
Speaker 1: over and on their phones, and I was like, what's
Speaker 1: going on? And then my mom called and said Kobe
Speaker 1: just died. Immediately my heart sunk and I started crying
Speaker 1: and I was like his children, his wife. So here
Speaker 1: it is, I'm writing this book. I'm in Staples printing
Speaker 1: out five copies, you know, just an eight by ten binder, right,
Speaker 1: thing that out and then this is all everybody's in
Speaker 1: Staples crying because Kobe had just passed. And so for me,
Speaker 1: it was just it was another full circle moment because
Speaker 1: now I know what this woman and her children are
Speaker 1: going to feel like. Yeah, so immediately wanted to prayer
Speaker 1: for her and her family and her children. And I
Speaker 1: remember coming back home and the elation of having the
Speaker 1: book was just it was darkened by what was going
Speaker 1: on around the world with this man, because the world
Speaker 1: was feeling his loss, but my world felt the loss
Speaker 1: of my husband, you know. And I still said, Okay,
Speaker 1: the book is just for them. I had five copies
Speaker 1: that I printed out for key people in my life
Speaker 1: that I wanted to give the book, and my attorney
Speaker 1: came over the Monday and I had just come back
Speaker 1: from the Optimologists because I had a right so much,
Speaker 1: I had messed up my tear ducks. Oh no, true story.
Speaker 1: I was at the you know, the Optimologists, and she says,
Speaker 1: you you you kind of damaged your tear drucks. You
Speaker 1: cried too much and so longso made short. My attorney
Speaker 1: picked up the book, and he says, what's this like
Speaker 1: it was buying their phone. He wrote a book, and
Speaker 1: my attorney's very very very rigid. Um, there's no grace
Speaker 1: because that's it. You should take it because I have
Speaker 1: no time for this. And I said, okay, fine, But
Speaker 1: before he left, he still took it. I didn't say
Speaker 1: anything his wife and he called me with his wife
Speaker 1: on the phone Sunday morning and she said, he picked
Speaker 1: up this book on Friday and he had not put
Speaker 1: these pages down. And because he's the attorney he is,
Speaker 1: he won't tell me what it is. But you had
Speaker 1: him laughing, crying and in disbelief. And so I said,
Speaker 1: then he says, you have to do something with it, Tracy.
Speaker 1: I did nothing with it. I left it alone. But
Speaker 1: here's what happened. This is how God was fourth year
Speaker 1: to the Capital. I've been working with the Congressional Black
Speaker 1: Caucus to get a build in Dave's name for colorectal cancer,
Speaker 1: so our men of color, our minority men, can go
Speaker 1: into a doctor's office or the er and urgent care
Speaker 1: and get a colonoscopy, because nobody has to die of
Speaker 1: colon cancer. It's one of the answers that it's a
Speaker 1: cowardly cancer. If you go, you have your kolonoscopy, the
Speaker 1: polyps are remove, you go back to work, you go
Speaker 1: to play golf, you go to do whatever it is
Speaker 1: you want. But our men, in our community, we're, for one,
Speaker 1: we're not talking about colon cancer because of the stigma.
Speaker 1: You know, the examination right right conclusive, it's it's you
Speaker 1: know that naive not knowing. And then it's our community
Speaker 1: isn't paying for a colonoscar. So I've said, you know what,
Speaker 1: my husband's death is not going to be in vain.
Speaker 1: I'm going to make sure that anybody that needs a
Speaker 1: colonoscopy can get one. And so, going back and forth,
Speaker 1: the bill didn't get past when it was supposed to
Speaker 1: get pasted in October for him. So two weeks before
Speaker 1: this enormous fundraiser ten year anniversary that I'm having for him,
Speaker 1: his life celebration, I says, oh the book, My daughter says,
Speaker 1: mommy do it. So every house that I reached out to,
Speaker 1: they don't know who I am, they don't care, so
Speaker 1: they're not going to back me. So I said, I'm
Speaker 1: going to publish this book myself, and everybody says it's impossible.
Speaker 1: And then I found one house that said we will
Speaker 1: help yourself publish it. But but welf cover and I said, sawcover,
Speaker 1: don't baby. By the grace of God, I was able
Speaker 1: to get the book done a thousand copies in four days.
Speaker 1: Four days. Wow, We're able to launch the book at
Speaker 1: fundraising that evening and so the fund by the grace
Speaker 1: of God, four hours, we raised over thirty thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: On the I gave away two scholarships to his high school,
Speaker 1: Bishop Laughlin um to year. I used to live writing
Speaker 1: a house the screen, I know, that's like, you're gonna
Speaker 1: love that, and so I'm in touch with the young ladies.
Speaker 1: They sent me a beautiful video. But his foundation, the
Speaker 1: Dave Diamond Cocks Colon Cancer Foundation, is put in ployees
Speaker 1: because I don't want a family to suffer. So if
Speaker 1: I have to pay a mortgage, if I have to
Speaker 1: put food on the table, if I have to pay
Speaker 1: for colonoscopy, if I got to pay tuitions, the colon
Speaker 1: Cancer Foundation that I set up for Dave, that's what
Speaker 1: that's in place to do, and that's what we do.
Speaker 1: But the book, some of the proceeds go to his
Speaker 1: foundation as well, and the book has taken on a
Speaker 1: whole life, a whole life. Everybody that reads it says,
Speaker 1: I can't wait for a movie. Yeah, I can't either,
Speaker 1: because you cast a movie. You're such a great writer. Visually,
Speaker 1: like I feel like I know your mom, you know,
Speaker 1: I feel like I was traveling with you as a
Speaker 1: flight attendant to all these great countries, being young and
Speaker 1: free and you know, study different cultures and backgrounds, like
Speaker 1: you know where you are today, but more importantly where
Speaker 1: I met you, and to be able to like read
Speaker 1: your book and look backwards. It's like every you needed
Speaker 1: all that stuff to be who you are today. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: you know, And that's what was so riveting to me
Speaker 1: because I was like, man, Women's Month is coming up
Speaker 1: in March, and the principles that you have for women,
Speaker 1: and you know, it's just sometimes I'd like to think
Speaker 1: that the world is something different, right that, you know,
Speaker 1: not that we're all bosses, but when people used to
Speaker 1: say to me, you left San Francisco and you moved
Speaker 1: to New York and you only knew two people and
Speaker 1: I used to be like yeah, Like in my mind,
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, anybody could do it. It's like no
Speaker 1: big deal, right I was in my thirties. I was like,
Speaker 1: oh no, no, no, no, no, no no, You've got
Speaker 1: to be made something to move three thousand miles away.
Speaker 1: And so that's what I feel about you, um in
Speaker 1: terms of you know, I just want to go, I'm
Speaker 1: so glad that you're talking about the colon and you know,
Speaker 1: just you know, um, really dispelling the fears because people
Speaker 1: wait kind of too late in most cases when you said,
Speaker 1: like they go in, take it out, you're back to work.
Speaker 1: So and this I just want to say, ladies and gentlemen,
Speaker 1: this is that human being that I was telling you
Speaker 1: about that is phenomenal. Did you hear the laundry list
Speaker 1: of how she gets back? Just unconsciously, it's just that's
Speaker 1: what she is. Where I want you to take us
Speaker 1: back to when when when Dave discovered it. And because
Speaker 1: there's a film I don't know if you've seen it
Speaker 1: on Netflix called from Scratch, I just say, diamonds are
Speaker 1: forever becoming a boss after a loss. I've heard about
Speaker 1: theater near you. That's all I gotta say, so, I've
Speaker 1: heard about this show, many people have told me, but
Speaker 1: I just haven't sat with it yet because I have
Speaker 1: to be in a certain mind framed Tracey. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: a lot of unpacking and so um but I don't
Speaker 1: even interrupt you, Urkel. I will say this. The dynamic
Speaker 1: is the love. When I reconnected back with Urkel and
Speaker 1: we were we were brought together for a project. Um
Speaker 1: all I saw the sparkle in your life and in
Speaker 1: your eyes when you took me into every room of
Speaker 1: your house. Was the love you had for your husband.
Speaker 1: That's all I felt. Crazy, Thank you. No, he was
Speaker 1: a good man, and hence why I feel I've dedicated
Speaker 1: so much of my life to make sure that his
Speaker 1: death was not in vain, because I know personally in
Speaker 1: ten years we've saved hundreds of thousands of lives. We
Speaker 1: have and we important thing is when they found out
Speaker 1: that he had colon cancer, we were all in disbelief
Speaker 1: because we were on a vacation. We would always take
Speaker 1: a vacation in even before the children get out of school,
Speaker 1: so that this was our time, just a week and
Speaker 1: we were in the Bahamas and he wasn't feeling well,
Speaker 1: you know, we're from the Caribbean. So I come home.
Speaker 1: I said, it's got a purge him. I gotta wash
Speaker 1: him out, you know, let me give you some wash
Speaker 1: you out. You'll be fine. And no, this man couldn't eat,
Speaker 1: he couldn't drink, and for two weeks he hadn't had
Speaker 1: solid foods and if he had it, he just felt
Speaker 1: like he was pretty much just like would throw up. Right,
Speaker 1: So I said to him, bebian, not using the bathroom.
Speaker 1: You can't hold anything down. What's going on. We went
Speaker 1: to the doctor and they said, oh, we see a
Speaker 1: little bit of swallowing by the appendix, but he's fine.
Speaker 1: So we had an endoscopy. It was well, and he
Speaker 1: was supposed to go to Trinidad to shoot a video
Speaker 1: for Nicki Minaj right, and I had a jet waiting
Speaker 1: and everything, and I remember, you know the Brooklyn Marquel
Speaker 1: was like, go ahead, I'm gonna gout him very over there.
Speaker 1: If you'll go to the doctor. He was like, beb,
Speaker 1: I have to do this video. Long story made short.
Speaker 1: Check him in the hospital, New York Presbyterian Hospital. He's
Speaker 1: there for three months. Racy, this man they can't figure
Speaker 1: out within two weeks where there there's no food, there's
Speaker 1: just ivy and we can't figure out what's wrong with
Speaker 1: him because he was healthy. He didn't smoke. I drank occasionally,
Speaker 1: but he was a healthy man. You seen my husband.
Speaker 1: He was six four, two hundred forty pounds. There was
Speaker 1: nothing looking like he was ill. But that's why I
Speaker 1: say cancer is a cowardly cancer, and nobody has to
Speaker 1: die from His mother and father are approaching eighty and
Speaker 1: there live today. They're healthy, thank God. Well, there's no
Speaker 1: family history. It was just one of those things. That's
Speaker 1: why I know. His life was a purposeful life. That's
Speaker 1: why you know, you guys who had everything. We were
Speaker 1: building our businesses. You know, we were starting to plan
Speaker 1: for college tuitions, we were doing we were looking for
Speaker 1: a new home, all these things. But how can I
Speaker 1: be mad at God? Right? Because he gave me something
Speaker 1: that I know that I'm grateful for. And my children
Speaker 1: were able to see. We have two girls, and they
Speaker 1: know what true love is. They know what a man
Speaker 1: needs to do to protect his family, and so for me,
Speaker 1: it was bigger. I evolved when he passed away because
Speaker 1: I was that wife that I was there to take
Speaker 1: care of him and make sure the home was well right,
Speaker 1: and so when he passed away, it was I can't
Speaker 1: stand in his shoes, right, So I want to make
Speaker 1: sure that I do what I need to do. Hence
Speaker 1: why it's no coincidence. Next month is that's why I'm
Speaker 1: wearing this color cobalt see me and for the entire
Speaker 1: month of March, because this is the color of colorectal cancer, right,
Speaker 1: and so this is the color that I choose to
Speaker 1: wear the entire month to represent him and Asian. And
Speaker 1: so what I'm doing the entire month, I go to
Speaker 1: DC for two days to speak at the Capitol. I'm
Speaker 1: laying fifty flags in this color on the monument on
Speaker 1: the twelve, and I speak on the thirteenth to Congress
Speaker 1: for colorectal cancer. I'm speaking at my church CCC on Sunday.
Speaker 1: I'm just doing a whole tour. But this is my
Speaker 1: life the NASA. This is what I will do the
Speaker 1: entire month, and it's just to let our communities know
Speaker 1: that when you are a certain age, men of minority
Speaker 1: man our minority men's, when you're a certain you need
Speaker 1: to go get the colonoscopy because if you're consicated, if
Speaker 1: you have blood in your stool, or if you're losing weight.
Speaker 1: Those are three signs. Then if you tell your doctor
Speaker 1: any one of those three things two of those things,
Speaker 1: they have to give you a colonoscopy. They cannot deny you.
Speaker 1: I don't care what community you're from. They have to conoscopy.
Speaker 1: So that's what I do. I go back to our
Speaker 1: underserved communities and I let them know and I will
Speaker 1: go with you to take that colonoscopy, and if you
Speaker 1: can't get it, I will pay for it, because that's
Speaker 1: what it needs to be done. And we got to
Speaker 1: change the mindset trains. We got to change the mindset
Speaker 1: in our communities. You go to the doctor when we're
Speaker 1: growing up, you got a headache and you're watching TV
Speaker 1: and you squint in your mother's gonna be like any glasses.
Speaker 1: That's why you gotta optimologists. Right, we got a little rash,
Speaker 1: you go to the doctor, Oh you got example, but
Speaker 1: nobody says like I'm constipated, I have blood in my stool.
Speaker 1: Then you need to get a colonoscopy. That needs to
Speaker 1: move the conversation that we're having at the digiment, because
Speaker 1: then we'll save our men, we'll save their lives. We'll
Speaker 1: have our brothers, our husbands, our mentors. You know, we
Speaker 1: will have them. So that's why, Dave, it is important
Speaker 1: for me to continue this message through the book, through
Speaker 1: talking to people, through Congress, however, wherever you give me
Speaker 1: a platform, I'm going to do it. So you know,
Speaker 1: when we go through any type of tragedy in life,
Speaker 1: especially you know, my daughter lost her dad when she
Speaker 1: was seventeen, and you know it's something like you said,
Speaker 1: you know, she thinks about him every day. I know
Speaker 1: that just in going through those life changes challenges that
Speaker 1: you kind of hit a crossroad right somewhere where it's
Speaker 1: like I don't want to go forward or I have
Speaker 1: to go forward. And what was that crossroad like for you?
Speaker 1: Or did you have a crossroad? I mean, I'm still
Speaker 1: having it. I'm still right ten years later. And so
Speaker 1: for me, initially was just to make sure my children
Speaker 1: were okay, because in my mind I was a force
Speaker 1: before I met my husband's a force, yeah, Yeather, So
Speaker 1: I just had to go back to transitioning to be
Speaker 1: in a force by myself and now being that model
Speaker 1: for these girls. I didn't want my children to say
Speaker 1: we can't do this. We can't go to dubai, we
Speaker 1: can't go to dinner, we can't do whatever it is
Speaker 1: that the father has made this life for us. Because
Speaker 1: ninety isn't here. I want to still have that lifestyle
Speaker 1: and still look at their mother as a strong entity
Speaker 1: that can stand for two people. Right, I'm still young,
Speaker 1: but I'm standing for two parents. Now. That was important,
Speaker 1: and so for me it was to get the children structured,
Speaker 1: to keep that balance, make sure that they were mentally
Speaker 1: and physically and emotionally okay. But then my businesses, right,
Speaker 1: I was taking on a business with a partner where
Speaker 1: he and his partner were, you know, famously in love
Speaker 1: with each other. They were great partners, they were best friends,
Speaker 1: they were boys. They did everything together. But now that
Speaker 1: the dynamics are going to change, because now you have
Speaker 1: to deal with his wife, right, So the dynamics would change.
Speaker 1: I had to take on that new onset of you know,
Speaker 1: I didn't have to do anything. I came in, I
Speaker 1: turned the lights on, it turned on, you know, I
Speaker 1: took care everything else. But now everything falls on my back, right,
Speaker 1: and so the children, the well being of the household,
Speaker 1: the businesses. So for me personally, being a woman, didn't
Speaker 1: matter like dating matter. It took four years for me
Speaker 1: to even have somebody texts me. There was no texting,
Speaker 1: there was no dinners, there was no sex, there was nothing.
Speaker 1: There was no in my life for four years because
Speaker 1: it didn't matter to me. What matter was me making
Speaker 1: sure I solidify these businesses and these children and that
Speaker 1: they were proud of who I am going to become
Speaker 1: in their lives. Right, that was important. And after four years,
Speaker 1: I said, I don't let me get out here. And
Speaker 1: it was important for me to date somebody that was
Speaker 1: not part of our community, because a big pillar in
Speaker 1: our community, everybody knew him. And for so many years,
Speaker 1: I was never our colt. I was always Diamonds wife.
Speaker 1: Well that's Diamond's wife. That's Diamond's wife. Even if I
Speaker 1: was speaking at somewhere, Oh that's Timon's wife. Right. So
Speaker 1: now markl wow and stepped lying. Yes, that's that's powerful.
Speaker 1: I remember, Um, when I was coaching Charlie Murphy got
Speaker 1: rest his stull and he um, he came to my house.
Speaker 1: I was in Brooklyn and I was trying to get
Speaker 1: him up the stairs really quickly, and I was like,
Speaker 1: love Charlie. Because people were starting to recognize her. And
Speaker 1: this was during the Dave Chappelle Show and excuse me.
Speaker 1: I heard someone say Charlie Murphy and I was like, Charlie,
Speaker 1: you gotta get it. And he turned around on my
Speaker 1: steps and faced the street and he was like, listen, Tracy,
Speaker 1: they can recognize me all day because I've always been
Speaker 1: known as Eddie Murphy's brother, and now I'm Charlie Murfy.
Speaker 1: And it feels good. We're grateful. We are grateful, but
Speaker 1: it's a different acknowledge. Yeah, somebody recognizes me for me right,
Speaker 1: and I in the book. You read the book, so
Speaker 1: it pays hummus to where we came from. But the
Speaker 1: book says it's it's diamonds are Forever, because that shows
Speaker 1: that part of my life. But the subtitle is becoming
Speaker 1: a boss your loss, and so that's going to be
Speaker 1: the next book which tells my story how did I
Speaker 1: do it? Right? And to the film Thank You, Thank
Speaker 1: You the sequel. Okay, from your mouth to God's ears.
Speaker 1: All you have to do is say it, r Kel.
Speaker 1: You know the power asking it shall be given. It's
Speaker 1: not asking, negotiate, asking, dissect. Well, we do that. That's right.
Speaker 1: You already. I know, you know, we have three minutes.
Speaker 1: This one flew by. This is why I gotta have
Speaker 1: it back on because I'm telling you these principles are fierce.
Speaker 1: Um just I do want to just um anything, U.
Speaker 1: I'm going to be talking about this book, anything that
Speaker 1: you like. What's the takeaway? Because, like I said, you know,
Speaker 1: when bringing you on, I didn't want to talk specific stories.
Speaker 1: I wanted to talk about these principles that you were
Speaker 1: rooted in and you know just and how you know
Speaker 1: because you at the time, Okay, burn in a bed
Speaker 1: like that was probably not a good idea, but I
Speaker 1: love the fact that it was like I slept in
Speaker 1: the bed that night and nights after. It was like
Speaker 1: your parents knew as they were dealing with. But what's
Speaker 1: the takeaway? There many takeaways? Right? My mom always says,
Speaker 1: you know, man plans, but God un plans, right, And
Speaker 1: so I had to learn that because I was so
Speaker 1: rooted in doing things my way and this was one
Speaker 1: thing that I could not control. But what I could
Speaker 1: control is how I moved forward. Right. What I could
Speaker 1: troll is my narrative, how I was going to come
Speaker 1: out of this and how my children were going to
Speaker 1: be on the other side of greatness, and so, by
Speaker 1: the grace of God, that's what I put all my
Speaker 1: strength into. I didn't put my strength into why me,
Speaker 1: Why you took my husband? We were just about to
Speaker 1: be on the epitome of greatness. No, I took it
Speaker 1: as I had a relationship with a man who loved
Speaker 1: me and my children effortlessly, and so I knew what
Speaker 1: true love is. People are married seventy years and would
Speaker 1: not experience what we had. So that was a takeaway.
Speaker 1: A takeaway was if I can get through this, anybody
Speaker 1: can get through this, because you know, I'm gonna be real.
Speaker 1: I was a hot mess, hot mess dot com like
Speaker 1: wipe the car, turn the lights on, let's go, you know,
Speaker 1: but when I had to stand for what I believe in,
Speaker 1: which was my children and moving forward. The principle the
Speaker 1: takeaways Tracy, is that you can't be defined by what
Speaker 1: happens to you. You're going to be defined by how
Speaker 1: you perceive and how you move. You know, we can't
Speaker 1: stay in the what ifs and woses me because the
Speaker 1: only constant my past day are or not says is
Speaker 1: all the time. The only constant in life is change. Evolution,
Speaker 1: and so we have to change. We have to evolve.
Speaker 1: And if I had stayed in this light of you know,
Speaker 1: Davis gone, I wouldn't have open, you know, two more
Speaker 1: eye hops with not traditional funding, you know, because the
Speaker 1: first time the banks won't give us any money. Now
Speaker 1: they pay me to speak on their panels, right the
Speaker 1: same ones it didn't give us money. Now I'm worth something,
Speaker 1: you know. And so you just can't stay in that moment.
Speaker 1: You have to grow through it. There's ten years and
Speaker 1: I'm still growing through it. And that's that's my takeaway,
Speaker 1: and that's my principle. Trust God, trust your discernment, and
Speaker 1: just grow through the pain. Oh my God, ladies and gentlemen,
Speaker 1: please with everything you have which I hands together for
Speaker 1: our cold and please please purchase Diamonds are Forever. Please,
Speaker 1: I need you to purchase this Becoming a boss after
Speaker 1: a loss, that that transitional period is phenomenal. So please
Speaker 1: get this book and lead it. Yes it is a word.
Speaker 1: So we have two actors here spirit actor who want
Speaker 1: to ask you some questions are kill so also, who
Speaker 1: are we starting with? We will start with Peter Moore.
Speaker 1: We're gonna start with your question, Peter, what question do
Speaker 1: you have for our cal pass Um? My goodness. At first,
Speaker 1: I just want to say that was just so beautiful.
Speaker 1: You touched every thing that I do and everything. What
Speaker 1: I wanted to ask though, is, um, do you want
Speaker 1: to expound do something internationally with that? Like, um, you know,
Speaker 1: with them with the Colon Cancer Foundation. How does how
Speaker 1: does that work? Because like I'm from Barbadas and I'm
Speaker 1: trying to um put together something in Barbadas and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, my goodness, that would be wonderful. You know,
Speaker 1: how does that? Peter? Well, thank you, thank you for
Speaker 1: resonating with my story. And yes we'll say this, I
Speaker 1: use a bigin tool yea, yeah, I was gonna say
Speaker 1: that the final process of getting my residency. So of
Speaker 1: course yes we're going international. But I actually, um, Peter,
Speaker 1: to answer your question in all honesty, my fellow, beigent
Speaker 1: um I'm doing. I was home in Barbados for Christmas
Speaker 1: and I six books, but I sold about twenty four
Speaker 1: books and they're just waiting for me to come back
Speaker 1: to do a book reading and a book signing in Barbados.
Speaker 1: But the Colon Cancer Foundation to Dave Diamond cost for
Speaker 1: the Colon Cancer Foundation is not just here in New York.
Speaker 1: It is international because I work by I work in Africa,
Speaker 1: and so with me working all these different places, I
Speaker 1: always always plug the Colon Cancer Foundation, and I always
Speaker 1: try to any stage and talk about colon cancer and
Speaker 1: how we can prevent people from dying. So to answer
Speaker 1: your question, we are an international organization. We are in
Speaker 1: the Korean we are anywhere. I speak to people throughout
Speaker 1: the world, Dubai, as I said, Barbados, Africa, and there's
Speaker 1: so many other states that I will talk to people
Speaker 1: online and do zooms as well. So if you're having talk, yes,
Speaker 1: you so much, beautiful, beautiful, Thank you Peter. Also thank
Speaker 1: you Peter. Yes. Up next we have miss Amber Janet Amber.
Speaker 1: What's your question for him? I just want to say
Speaker 1: you have an incredible story that has touched me so deeply.
Speaker 1: It has been an honor to listen to you share
Speaker 1: your piece. I lost my grandmother to cancer back in
Speaker 1: twenty and ten, so I know how much it just hurts.
Speaker 1: So my question to you is what was it like
Speaker 1: walking with and leaning on and depending on Holy Spirit
Speaker 1: as you were turning your pain into passion? And also,
Speaker 1: what would you say are the beginning steps of turning
Speaker 1: pain to passion. Well, thank you Amber for your question.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry about your loss as well as you know.
Speaker 1: It's something that we live with. M To answer the
Speaker 1: first part of your question. For me, I've always had
Speaker 1: a deep faith, right, I've always trust God, I've always
Speaker 1: trust my discernment, and so when my husband was in
Speaker 1: the hospital, that's all that I had. Right at one point,
Speaker 1: if I can be transparent with you, at one point
Speaker 1: I started to barter with God. And you can't bother
Speaker 1: with God. We know that, right, you can't. You know,
Speaker 1: say do this and I'll do that. But at one
Speaker 1: point I really said, oh God, please just let him
Speaker 1: come out of this alive for his children and let
Speaker 1: him get at Kneeda, let him forget me, let him
Speaker 1: hate me, but be here for his children. And then,
Speaker 1: as my husband's progressively got sick faster and faster, this
Speaker 1: cancer started to grow in him, like basically overnight, I
Speaker 1: just started to realize, you can't teeter. You can't be
Speaker 1: on both ends of the spectrum, right, you can't be
Speaker 1: on the fence. So if you're gonna trust God, you
Speaker 1: gotta trust him with all your heart. You've got it
Speaker 1: to surrender. And I remember my grandmother singing this song
Speaker 1: around the house by surrender all right, and that's what
Speaker 1: I started listening to it, and I said, oh, that's
Speaker 1: what that meant. So you never take away, you listen
Speaker 1: to things in passing. It never means anything, but as
Speaker 1: an adult, that's what it meant. I said, you know what, God,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna trust you. I'm not going to stand on
Speaker 1: my own understooding. And that's when I just started to
Speaker 1: pray for strength. So instead of praying for my will,
Speaker 1: I just prayed for God to give me understanding. And
Speaker 1: I started to turn the purpose the pain into purpose.
Speaker 1: Is when I realized he's not coming back, he's gone.
Speaker 1: My children are not going to have a father I am.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to bring a man in my home
Speaker 1: to be a father to my children because that's not
Speaker 1: what I wanted. So when I realized that this is
Speaker 1: now my life, the only thing I could do is
Speaker 1: to stand in my truth. Amber I could just just
Speaker 1: move forward and deal with the hand that I was
Speaker 1: dealt with. So do I deal with the pain which
Speaker 1: was consuming me, which was making me better, which was
Speaker 1: making me that, which was making me not productive, which
Speaker 1: was making me alienate myself from friends and family. And
Speaker 1: I'm I don't mean to make you cry, but it's
Speaker 1: my truth. I couldn't. I didn't want to be that person.
Speaker 1: I wanted to be the person who was a light.
Speaker 1: I wanted to be the person who somebody else could say,
Speaker 1: if she can do it, I can do it. And
Speaker 1: and that's why I'm so grateful to God that I'm
Speaker 1: here now, because if I could do it, anybody could
Speaker 1: do it amber anyone. And so that is the takeaway.
Speaker 1: Don't stay in the pain. You have to deal with
Speaker 1: it and you have to confront it so that you
Speaker 1: can move on. But we can't stay there. If we can't,
Speaker 1: we can't blame ourselves. We can't blame God. It's just
Speaker 1: moving on. Yeah, thank you, thank you. I appreciate you.
Speaker 1: You're beautiful, but a blessing, you know what I mean. Like,
Speaker 1: that's why I love this show. Yes, it's a spirited
Speaker 1: actor and it's about actors, but in a time where
Speaker 1: self care and should be p already, like your words
Speaker 1: are healing, and I know that Amber and Peter walked
Speaker 1: away with something. So this is what I said. A
Speaker 1: phenomenal human being. I said, that from the jump ladies
Speaker 1: and gentlemen. I just want to say thank you so much. Rquelle.
Speaker 1: I do want you to come back on because there
Speaker 1: are other specifics that I wanted to talk to you
Speaker 1: guys about in terms of her career and her rise
Speaker 1: to be this boss after a loss. So I want
Speaker 1: you all to arkell. Where can they get this book?
Speaker 1: Where can they pick this book up? So the book
Speaker 1: is on my website and that's at matriarch dot matriarch
Speaker 1: media dot com. And so it's Matriarch. My mother is
Speaker 1: still alive. She's seventy six today, praise guy, looking beautiful.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna celebrate her today. But so she's the
Speaker 1: matriarch of the family. But I'm matriarch a ark for
Speaker 1: Arkeel right, So I love it. R a r Ken
Speaker 1: that's what they used to call you. I apologize, ar
Speaker 1: okay once again, tell us again, O poo nature arch
Speaker 1: mediam dot com and I'll put it in the chat
Speaker 1: so you can have it also trade. Okay, excellent, I'm
Speaker 1: just showing the book. You guys. Get a cup of
Speaker 1: tea little honey, sit in a cozy chair, and I
Speaker 1: guarantee you I had to slow myself down from reading
Speaker 1: because I was like, I'm gonna finish too soon. So
Speaker 1: thank you for the sequel. Ladies and gentlemen, once again,
Speaker 1: please put your hands together for our Kel Cox offer,
Speaker 1: entrepreneurial boss, phenomenal human being. Thank you so much, Klee,
Speaker 1: love you to pieces man and we will be back
Speaker 1: on the Spirited Actor Podcast with me Tracy Moore, and
Speaker 1: Le'm gonna give you some self help. Well that was
Speaker 1: our kel. I'm going to give you some self tape pips.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the Spirited Occupodcast with me Tracy Moore.
Speaker 1: Now we're not going to have pass in session today, however,
Speaker 1: I am going to give you some self tape tips. First,
Speaker 1: I want to say it's very important that you get
Speaker 1: the right equipment. You cannot shoot outside with traffic going,
Speaker 1: you can't shoot in a dark closet with your flashlight
Speaker 1: from your phone. You have to purchase and invest in yourself.
Speaker 1: So you can go to Amazon and get like a
Speaker 1: green or blue or gray background. You can also get
Speaker 1: very limited lighting, but great lighting. And then you also
Speaker 1: want to make sure that your sound is always right.
Speaker 1: Your sound. You know you sound clear and crisp, so
Speaker 1: get some audio but invest in the equipment that you
Speaker 1: need to succeed in these self tapes. Okay, we do
Speaker 1: look at that. This is again show business. It's not
Speaker 1: show art or craft where you create how you want
Speaker 1: to turn in your self tapes. This is a business
Speaker 1: where we have a certain standard expectation and protocol that
Speaker 1: you should abide by unless otherwise told to you. Okay, So,
Speaker 1: and what I mean by that is like, if you know,
Speaker 1: the casting directors always have specific information on how you
Speaker 1: guys should self tape and how you should you know,
Speaker 1: look in the camera, maybe look off to the camera,
Speaker 1: follow those directions to the t casting directors right there.
Speaker 1: For a reason. The second thing I want to talk
Speaker 1: about is when I started out in casting, I did
Speaker 1: live casting. So we would have live sessions where you
Speaker 1: came in for auditions, or you came in for callbacks,
Speaker 1: or you came in for a chemistry read with the
Speaker 1: other actors who are cast in the show. Regardless, we
Speaker 1: were live. And so from the time you walk into
Speaker 1: the time you hit your mark in front of that
Speaker 1: table where we said we have already sort of scanned you,
Speaker 1: how you walk tells us something about you. If you
Speaker 1: walk in hunched over looking down on the ground. That
Speaker 1: doesn't give us a lot of confidence. If you walk
Speaker 1: in and you look us straight in the eye and
Speaker 1: you shake our hands firmly, we trust that we feel
Speaker 1: secure with that. So by the time you are saying
Speaker 1: the sides, we have already come to some sort of
Speaker 1: assessment of you. We don't have that ability anymore to
Speaker 1: just take extract personality parts about you, because remember, yes,
Speaker 1: there's a job that you are hired as an actor,
Speaker 1: but as a business person, we need to trust that
Speaker 1: you're going to be on time, You're gonna have a
Speaker 1: great attitude on the set. We don't have to love you,
Speaker 1: but we do have to like you to work with you.
Speaker 1: All of these things are on a casting director to
Speaker 1: extract from you from self tapes. So where do you
Speaker 1: extract Where do you engage your personality? You engage it
Speaker 1: in the slate And for those of you who don't know,
Speaker 1: the slate is when you id yourself. So I would say, Hi,
Speaker 1: I'm Tracy Moore. I live in New York City, Brooklyn,
Speaker 1: New York, five to seven, and I'm reading for the
Speaker 1: role of Sarah. Now I'm not an actor. However, be yourself.
Speaker 1: That's what we want to see your authentic self. We
Speaker 1: don't want to see you in a character. Who want
Speaker 1: to see you in your authentic self. Say do you
Speaker 1: like where you live? Do you like your name? I mean,
Speaker 1: we can pull those things and in callbacks we have
Speaker 1: a little more time. But you know, directors ask in
Speaker 1: some cases who has a better personality this actress or
Speaker 1: this actress, and it's down to the castle here to say, well,
Speaker 1: you know, she was a little more pleasant. So we
Speaker 1: need to see your personality. Incorporate your personality in your slate. Also,
Speaker 1: in terms of takes, do not do more takes than
Speaker 1: what you would do if you were in a live room.
Speaker 1: So a lot of times actors will spend half the
Speaker 1: day doing like thirty takes. Don't do that anywhere from
Speaker 1: three to five. Seriously, we are not looking for protect perfection.
Speaker 1: We're looking for potential. And if you come to us
Speaker 1: quote unquote perfect, where's the room and the space for
Speaker 1: us to do things and to give you direction or
Speaker 1: to see how versatile your talent is. Just do your best.
Speaker 1: Do your best when you do the work prior break
Speaker 1: down of the character, creating as many choices as you can.
Speaker 1: I say, between fifteen and twenty. So when you're on
Speaker 1: the set, you have choices, a lot of them and
Speaker 1: arsenal of them. Do the worked. When you do the work,
Speaker 1: you have the confidence when you do, When you have
Speaker 1: the confidence, you do a great job, at least great
Speaker 1: enough to be noticed by a casting director or how
Speaker 1: should call them men or put them on my list
Speaker 1: for a callback? That's important, very very important. Do as
Speaker 1: many takes as you would get if you were in
Speaker 1: a live room. Three to five takes, don't no, not
Speaker 1: all days. And the last thing I wanted to say
Speaker 1: is that when you present yourself tape, we're looking for characters.
Speaker 1: We're not looking for people who hold their paper, say
Speaker 1: their lines, look up and wait for their que line.
Speaker 1: Actors know how to listen. Actors know how to react.
Speaker 1: If you're in a scene and people are talking around you,
Speaker 1: you should be without your lines. You should be reacting
Speaker 1: because you are there and we see you, and you're
Speaker 1: actively involved without lines, and you do that with your
Speaker 1: inner voice, by building your inner voice. Okay, so these
Speaker 1: are some self tape tips that I have. I have
Speaker 1: some more, but I wanted to share this with you
Speaker 1: today to give you guys a Lisa jumpstart for those
Speaker 1: of you who are just now starting out, and for
Speaker 1: those of you who are doing self tapes, now take
Speaker 1: key to those things. We'll be back with the Spirited
Speaker 1: Actor Podcast with me Tracy Moore and I'm going to
Speaker 1: give you some love. I'm gonna give you love, and
Speaker 1: now it's time to give love. How often do you
Speaker 1: celebrate yourself, no material things, but sitting quietly, just being
Speaker 1: in your own presence. I worked hard in this business,
Speaker 1: ladies and gentlemen, I will tell you I worked eighteen
Speaker 1: hour days. I worked twenty four hours on one of
Speaker 1: my first music video. Now I work smart. Now I
Speaker 1: protect my mental peace, my healthless priority. I eat to live,
Speaker 1: and every day when I wake up, I thank the
Speaker 1: spirit for waking me up and giving me another opportunity
Speaker 1: to be a better mom, a better sister, a better friend,
Speaker 1: a better aunt. Every day is a fresh start. I
Speaker 1: work on not bringing stuff from yesterday into today. I
Speaker 1: allow myself in every moment to tell Tracy how amazing
Speaker 1: she is, and you should do the same. Don't forget
Speaker 1: to look out for us. On our new show, Inside
Speaker 1: the Black Box. My co host will be Joe the
Speaker 1: Legend Morton it's going to be the Spirited Actor Podcast
Speaker 1: on steroids. We'll be streaming on the Crackle network. I'll
Speaker 1: keep you posted. Thank you for joining us on the
Speaker 1: Spirited Actor Podcast with me Tracy Moore. I look forward
Speaker 1: to our next Spirited Podcast. Thank you.