WEBVTT - Do You Know Your True Value and Worth? (Part 1) (Outweigh)

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<v Speaker 1>I won't let my body out be outwait everything that

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<v Speaker 1>I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm learning love who I am again. I'm strong, I

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<v Speaker 2>feel free, I know every part of me. It's beautiful.

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<v Speaker 1>And that will always out way if you feel it,

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<v Speaker 1>but you are, She'll some love to the view.

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<v Speaker 2>Why get there?

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<v Speaker 3>Take you one day? And did you and die out way?

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<v Speaker 4>Happy Saturday outweigh Amy here and Leanne and we have

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<v Speaker 4>a question for you. We're starting a five part series

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<v Speaker 4>on self image, and Leanne has the five the five ingredients,

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<v Speaker 4>but we'll start off with a question of do you

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<v Speaker 4>know your true value and worth?

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<v Speaker 3>Like, really do you?

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<v Speaker 4>Because I feel as though there's times in my life

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<v Speaker 4>where already be like, sure I know my worth, and

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<v Speaker 4>then if I were to really break it down and

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<v Speaker 4>assess it, I had very little self worth. And I

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<v Speaker 4>think if we're honest with ourselves at times, and I'm

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<v Speaker 4>sure Leanne, it's it can be a roller coaster, but

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<v Speaker 4>the goal would be to have more days knowing our

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<v Speaker 4>value and worth than not.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, it's not this straight line trajectory. And you know,

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<v Speaker 1>this is a topic that I love to talk about

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<v Speaker 1>and really this is what got me obsessing over studying

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<v Speaker 1>the female brain and self image.

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<v Speaker 2>And it's like, what makes us see.

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<v Speaker 1>And perceive ourselves the way that we do, and why

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<v Speaker 1>do our brains play tricks on us?

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<v Speaker 2>Like why do we do what we do?

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<v Speaker 1>And for me, this started with the question of like,

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<v Speaker 1>why did I just lose one hundred pounds and make

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<v Speaker 1>over my body but I still feel fat? And I

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<v Speaker 1>put fat in air quotes because that was my self image,

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<v Speaker 1>But I still felt unworthy and unlovable and undesirable and

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<v Speaker 1>fill in the blank. And why didn't my mind and

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<v Speaker 1>my brain and my self image play catch up with

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<v Speaker 1>what was going on in my physical appearance? And that's

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<v Speaker 1>why I became obsessed with researching and understanding the intricacies

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<v Speaker 1>of the female self image because you know, as as

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<v Speaker 1>we've talked about before, I struggled and suffered with food

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<v Speaker 1>and my body image and self image for decades and

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<v Speaker 1>the world really was throwing more diets at this deeper problem.

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<v Speaker 1>And you know, the stuff that we're going to talk

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<v Speaker 1>about on this series, it's not really taught in the

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<v Speaker 1>mainstream and it's not made readily available to women. And

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<v Speaker 1>that's why I'm so purposeful about talking about this, but

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<v Speaker 1>you know, I I distilled it into this five ingredient

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<v Speaker 1>recipe that we're going to talk about over the next

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<v Speaker 1>five weeks. That I believe that when you combine these

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<v Speaker 1>ingredients correctly, it is going to lead to a healed

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<v Speaker 1>self image and truly feeling worthiness down in your bones,

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<v Speaker 1>like not this ambiguous like just love yourself the way

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<v Speaker 1>you are, kind of fake positivity that a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>us are getting from Instagram or the mainstream, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>but really taking it looking at it as this this

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<v Speaker 1>you know, kind of scientific, systematic approach, And honestly, it's

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<v Speaker 1>one of those things like when everything feels out of control,

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<v Speaker 1>how we feel about ourselves actually is the one thing

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<v Speaker 1>that we can influence. And for me, this all started

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<v Speaker 1>because I realized I was saying things like self love

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<v Speaker 1>and worthiness, but I never really defined it and how

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<v Speaker 1>can you go reach for something that you don't know

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<v Speaker 1>what it is? And I found it was an ambiguous

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<v Speaker 1>definition for a lot of the women that I was

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<v Speaker 1>working with as well. So really, if you want to

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<v Speaker 1>look at it, the next few weeks is about defining

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<v Speaker 1>what worthiness and value is to you. And you know,

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<v Speaker 1>if you maybe are listening to this, there's a good

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<v Speaker 1>possibility that you maybe picked up the same storyline or

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<v Speaker 1>learned the same thing that I learn, which is that

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<v Speaker 1>accepting yourself meant that you could accept yourself when you,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, lost the weight or earn more money or

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<v Speaker 1>cross that proverbial finish line. Or maybe you learned that

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<v Speaker 1>taking care of yourself meant either meticulously, you know, tracking

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<v Speaker 1>and monitoring your weight or your food intake or your

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<v Speaker 1>calorie expenditure, or judging, comparing and criticizing yourself when you

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<v Speaker 1>weren't doing those things, you know, Or maybe you learned

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<v Speaker 1>that your self esteem was determined by how much you

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<v Speaker 1>stacked up against those around you right, Or maybe you

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<v Speaker 1>learn that your self worth was something that was based

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<v Speaker 1>on the number on the scale or the number in

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<v Speaker 1>your bank account or some other golden carrot that you

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<v Speaker 1>thought you were air quotes supposed to achieve, or that

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<v Speaker 1>your ability to endorse and be proud of yourself was

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<v Speaker 1>based on what you thought other people thought about you,

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<v Speaker 1>Or maybe it was like for me, it was pretty

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<v Speaker 1>much nonexistent that, like, you know, standing in my gifts

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<v Speaker 1>and my talents and extraordinariosities which is made up word

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<v Speaker 1>that I just made up, you know, was bragging or

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<v Speaker 1>unlady like. And so these are really the five ingredients

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<v Speaker 1>that we're going to walk you through over the next

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<v Speaker 1>five weeks to just really give you the ability to

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<v Speaker 1>take ownership and influence an agency over your true definition

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<v Speaker 1>of self love and self worth because it's something that

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<v Speaker 1>I truly believe we all need to define.

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<v Speaker 4>And so here in week one we're covering self acceptance,

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<v Speaker 4>and then week two will be self care, week three

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<v Speaker 4>self esteem, week four self worth, and week five self endorsement.

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<v Speaker 3>And I love that you use the word ingredients.

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<v Speaker 4>I just made pancakes this morning for my So let's

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<v Speaker 4>say we're whipping up a batch of pancakes and by

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<v Speaker 4>week five the pancakes should be ready to go. And

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<v Speaker 4>I know that you said if you feel as though

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<v Speaker 4>after people listen to this that okay, they'll be set

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<v Speaker 4>up and they'll be on the path of knowing their

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<v Speaker 4>true value and worth or at least having a definition

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<v Speaker 4>for it so that they even know what they're what

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<v Speaker 4>they're looking for. But I will say, it's not just

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<v Speaker 4>gonna because you listen to this, and then week five,

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<v Speaker 4>it's not whila. You know when you're making pancakes, you

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<v Speaker 4>have to pay attention. You have to flip, you can

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<v Speaker 4>easily burn them. You have to make sure the center

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<v Speaker 4>is cooked. It might end up being wrong. So there's

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<v Speaker 4>details I think that we need to pay attention to

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<v Speaker 4>past week five obviously, So look at all the work

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<v Speaker 4>that you're doing after you gain all of this information

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<v Speaker 4>as the flipping of the pancake, and then eventually you're

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<v Speaker 4>going to get to put syrup on and enjoy it.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and sometimes you burn them and sometimes you got

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<v Speaker 1>to throw away a match, you know. But that's a

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<v Speaker 1>really good distinction to bring up. This isn't a one

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<v Speaker 1>and done conversation. I'm constantly tweaking my own recipe, and

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<v Speaker 1>I think it really just going into it knowing that

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<v Speaker 1>it is a lifelong conversation. But what I will say

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<v Speaker 1>about it is, you know, we talk about awareness. Awareness

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<v Speaker 1>like having the ability to become aware of something that

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<v Speaker 1>you weren't currently aware of before. And I do believe

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<v Speaker 1>what I will say with certainty is that just becoming

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<v Speaker 1>aware of these ingredients and seeing them through this new lens,

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<v Speaker 1>it is enough to start really redirecting your brain in

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<v Speaker 1>that direction so that you can start building the pathways.

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<v Speaker 1>Get that as I call it, air attention, intension, and repetition, Like,

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<v Speaker 1>nothing is going to become who you are until you

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<v Speaker 1>practice it and your nervous system learns it. So this

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<v Speaker 1>is really going to get those pathways going and really

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<v Speaker 1>start seeding this in your brain. But yeah, it is

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<v Speaker 1>a lifelong practice, but these are the conversations that will

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<v Speaker 1>get you started and get on that journey and really

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<v Speaker 1>take you in that new trajectory.

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<v Speaker 2>Because if you are going down.

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<v Speaker 1>The road of you know, shame, blame, guilt, comparisonitis, lack

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<v Speaker 1>of self worth, you know, outsourcing yourself worth, all those things,

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<v Speaker 1>that doesn't stop until you actually shift it. So this

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<v Speaker 1>could be day one of this new conversation.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay, so let's start with self acceptance first. Ingredient, just

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<v Speaker 4>pulled it out of the pantry.

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<v Speaker 1>Right, It's the first one that we start with because

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<v Speaker 1>I've found this is the hardest one for us because

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<v Speaker 1>most of us are walking around straight up rejecting ourselves

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<v Speaker 1>or looking for reasons why we're not good enough, we're

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<v Speaker 1>not worthy, all.

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<v Speaker 2>Of those things.

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<v Speaker 1>So you know, first, like I said, let's define it, right,

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<v Speaker 1>So there's a couple of sides of self acceptance that

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<v Speaker 1>I think are super important.

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<v Speaker 2>First is this idea of accepting.

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<v Speaker 1>Yourself as you are, warts and all right, but without

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<v Speaker 1>all of that shame, blame, guilt, comparisonitis, perfectionism, self condemnation,

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<v Speaker 1>all of that. And that is the tricky part, right,

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<v Speaker 1>because so I know for me it was like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>I accept myself well except for that part of me,

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<v Speaker 1>or I accept myself except for that part I hope

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<v Speaker 1>nobody ever finds out, or like, when I lose the weight,

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<v Speaker 1>then I'll accept myself. And there's all these conditions, right,

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<v Speaker 1>So what would it look like for you to just

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<v Speaker 1>accept you as you are?

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<v Speaker 2>Right? And here's the big distinction. You do not have

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<v Speaker 2>to like it. Right.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not saying like, oh joy to the world, I

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<v Speaker 1>all of a sudden love the things I've been rejecting

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<v Speaker 1>and not accepting. But if you want to pass through

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<v Speaker 1>into that sphere of self love and self worth and

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<v Speaker 1>self acceptance, I believe the first thing you have to

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<v Speaker 1>pass through is just accepting where you are without shaming it,

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<v Speaker 1>blaming it, guilting yourself comparison itis. Because what's the alternative

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<v Speaker 1>where you are right now? First of all, where you

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<v Speaker 1>are is not who you are right It doesn't mean

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<v Speaker 1>that that's who you are and where you're going to stay,

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<v Speaker 1>but where you are right now and what's led you

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<v Speaker 1>up until now, and who you've been and who you

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<v Speaker 1>haven't been, and the things that air quotes failed or

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<v Speaker 1>didn't work out or whatever right or your comparison to

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<v Speaker 1>where you think you should be where you are right now,

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<v Speaker 1>it has already taken place. It's in the past. So

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<v Speaker 1>shaming it, blaming it, comparing yourself it's not going to

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<v Speaker 1>change where you are right now. And again, you don't

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<v Speaker 1>have to like it, But that's where I invite you

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<v Speaker 1>to just start accepting where you are right now, even

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<v Speaker 1>when you don't like it, and just acknowledge that, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>this is what's happening now. Who do I want to

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<v Speaker 1>be in the face of it? And one of my

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<v Speaker 1>favorite quotes on this is when you argue with reality,

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<v Speaker 1>you suffer, and Byron Katie said it, when you argue

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<v Speaker 1>with reality, you suffer. So the opposite of accepting yourself

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<v Speaker 1>is arguing with reality and creating your own suffering, saying, man,

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<v Speaker 1>I wish this didn't happen. I wish I wasn't here

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<v Speaker 1>right now. I wish I didn't weigh what I weigh

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<v Speaker 1>right now. I wish, you know, I didn't have these circumstances.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's like, well, you it is right now, this

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<v Speaker 1>is what's happening. And so the sooner we can accept it,

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<v Speaker 1>the sooner we can actually move through it and become

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<v Speaker 1>who we want to be in the face of it

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<v Speaker 1>and actually transform it. But you're not going to be

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<v Speaker 1>able to transform it when you're shaming it, blaming it,

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<v Speaker 1>comparing it, wishing it wasn't so. And so the first

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<v Speaker 1>layer of self acceptance is really just the acceptance piece

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<v Speaker 1>of the puzzle. Again, you have permission not to like

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<v Speaker 1>it right, but just accepting it without all of that

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<v Speaker 1>that drama, the shame or wishing it wasn't so, arguing

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<v Speaker 1>with reality and causing more suffering around it.

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<v Speaker 4>I think that denial is something we've all danced with,

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<v Speaker 4>oh yeah, in our lives. Like I know, there's plenty

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<v Speaker 4>of times I have been in denial, and so awareness awareness.

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<v Speaker 4>I mean, I'm even taking this in and thinking of

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<v Speaker 4>times you know, where you say in private how you

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<v Speaker 4>feel or act or do, and then what you present

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<v Speaker 4>is that lining up?

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<v Speaker 3>Is it matching?

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<v Speaker 4>Are you in integrity with where you want to go,

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<v Speaker 4>where you want to be, and I feel like there's

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<v Speaker 4>times where I haven't been and that's when I was

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<v Speaker 4>suffering the most. And there are times where I sort

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<v Speaker 4>of there was denial, but there was also the numbing.

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<v Speaker 4>So then there was also I didn't have the bandwidth

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<v Speaker 4>to be aware because I was blocking it all out,

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<v Speaker 4>you know. I just was like, Yeah, this isn't really happening,

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<v Speaker 4>this is not reality. And so I'm super excited to

0:11:05.720 --> 0:11:10.520
<v Speaker 4>dive more into these things. And yes, step one it

0:11:10.600 --> 0:11:12.680
<v Speaker 4>might seem really simple of like, oh yeah, duh, I

0:11:12.720 --> 0:11:16.600
<v Speaker 4>need to accept myself. But once you start paying attention,

0:11:16.840 --> 0:11:20.760
<v Speaker 4>I think it'll be shocked at how many times you

0:11:20.800 --> 0:11:26.640
<v Speaker 4>are in denial or you are ignoring, like huge flags

0:11:27.040 --> 0:11:29.440
<v Speaker 4>that are totally right in front of your face. But

0:11:29.520 --> 0:11:31.640
<v Speaker 4>sometimes it's you don't see it until you see it

0:11:31.720 --> 0:11:32.719
<v Speaker 4>and then you can't unsee it.

0:11:32.960 --> 0:11:33.400
<v Speaker 3>Hopefully.

0:11:34.360 --> 0:11:35.160
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, No.

0:11:35.240 --> 0:11:37.560
<v Speaker 1>You bring up such a good point, because the cost

0:11:37.679 --> 0:11:40.600
<v Speaker 1>of not accepting and living in that non reality you

0:11:40.720 --> 0:11:43.719
<v Speaker 1>mention it. We all have coping mechanisms. I've used them all,

0:11:43.800 --> 0:11:47.000
<v Speaker 1>you know what I mean, food, netflix, wine, you name it.

0:11:47.120 --> 0:11:49.400
<v Speaker 1>And when we're numbing it doesn't. It doesn't go away,

0:11:49.480 --> 0:11:52.640
<v Speaker 1>and it just further contributes to us not accepting and

0:11:52.679 --> 0:11:55.439
<v Speaker 1>living in a non reality. And like you said, we

0:11:55.720 --> 0:11:58.400
<v Speaker 1>create our suffering in that by just and often dealing

0:11:58.400 --> 0:12:00.760
<v Speaker 1>with it and just acknowledging it is so much easier

0:12:01.120 --> 0:12:03.640
<v Speaker 1>than not but we just think it's easier to avoid it,

0:12:03.679 --> 0:12:05.800
<v Speaker 1>distract it, numb it out, and so it keeps us

0:12:05.840 --> 0:12:07.400
<v Speaker 1>down that spiral. And that's why we need to have

0:12:07.440 --> 0:12:11.520
<v Speaker 1>these conversations that enlighten us and give us that awareness.

0:12:12.000 --> 0:12:14.520
<v Speaker 4>So if someone were to have a conversation, like with

0:12:14.640 --> 0:12:20.200
<v Speaker 4>their friend or a coworker or a spouse about self

0:12:20.360 --> 0:12:23.480
<v Speaker 4>acceptance and maybe digging a little deeper into it, what's

0:12:23.480 --> 0:12:27.360
<v Speaker 4>a conversation starter in your mind that they could, you know,

0:12:27.400 --> 0:12:29.560
<v Speaker 4>sit down and have an honest Like if I was

0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:32.880
<v Speaker 4>still married, I could see myself sitting down with Ben

0:12:32.920 --> 0:12:35.960
<v Speaker 4>and being like, Hey, do you think I accept myself?

0:12:36.080 --> 0:12:38.760
<v Speaker 4>Or do you think you accept yourself? And then there's

0:12:39.120 --> 0:12:41.640
<v Speaker 4>now you have a partner in this, And of course

0:12:41.679 --> 0:12:43.000
<v Speaker 4>there's a lot of work for you to do on

0:12:43.080 --> 0:12:45.440
<v Speaker 4>your own, but if you do have a friend or

0:12:45.520 --> 0:12:48.320
<v Speaker 4>a significant other, or you want to talk to your

0:12:48.360 --> 0:12:51.680
<v Speaker 4>teenager about self acceptance, which, by the way, if you

0:12:51.720 --> 0:12:54.320
<v Speaker 4>are raising kids, they're paying attention to exactly how you

0:12:54.360 --> 0:12:55.520
<v Speaker 4>treat yourself.

0:12:55.840 --> 0:12:59.800
<v Speaker 3>And a fact as a person. Yeah, they're absorbing.

0:12:59.320 --> 0:13:02.120
<v Speaker 4>It and eye I have to pay attention to that.

0:13:02.200 --> 0:13:06.160
<v Speaker 4>With my sixteen and a half year old daughter, I

0:13:06.200 --> 0:13:09.120
<v Speaker 4>know she's watching all kinds of things and seeing how

0:13:09.160 --> 0:13:11.560
<v Speaker 4>I talk to myself and how I behave and how

0:13:11.640 --> 0:13:14.760
<v Speaker 4>I treat myself. So that's very important to me to

0:13:14.800 --> 0:13:15.880
<v Speaker 4>model to her because I.

0:13:15.800 --> 0:13:17.080
<v Speaker 3>Don't want her to.

0:13:17.800 --> 0:13:19.240
<v Speaker 4>I mean, we're all going to make mistakes, and of

0:13:19.320 --> 0:13:21.160
<v Speaker 4>course she's going to, but I guess I just don't

0:13:21.200 --> 0:13:23.280
<v Speaker 4>want her to pick up certain things from me that

0:13:23.320 --> 0:13:26.520
<v Speaker 4>are going to impact her down the line. Although it's

0:13:26.559 --> 0:13:29.160
<v Speaker 4>inevitable if you're a parent, we're not going to have

0:13:29.280 --> 0:13:31.760
<v Speaker 4>right perfect days. But if someone were to sit down

0:13:32.040 --> 0:13:35.720
<v Speaker 4>with insert whomever and have a conversation about self acceptance,

0:13:35.760 --> 0:13:36.360
<v Speaker 4>what would you say?

0:13:36.800 --> 0:13:39.040
<v Speaker 1>I mean, the first thing I would invite people into

0:13:39.280 --> 0:13:41.520
<v Speaker 1>is like, you can't love what you don't accept. You

0:13:41.559 --> 0:13:43.840
<v Speaker 1>can't properly care for and take care of and be

0:13:43.880 --> 0:13:45.959
<v Speaker 1>emotionally available to that which you don't accept.

0:13:46.040 --> 0:13:49.719
<v Speaker 2>So a prompt that I do on a regular basis is.

0:13:49.640 --> 0:13:51.280
<v Speaker 1>I'll write at the top of a piece of paper,

0:13:51.440 --> 0:13:55.080
<v Speaker 1>where am I arguing with reality? And it just becomes

0:13:55.120 --> 0:13:57.880
<v Speaker 1>so clear, like, where am I arguing with reality? Well,

0:13:57.920 --> 0:14:00.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm wishing that this wasn't so, or I'm wish that

0:14:00.280 --> 0:14:02.920
<v Speaker 1>I wasn't here I'm thinking about X and wishing it

0:14:02.960 --> 0:14:06.600
<v Speaker 1>didn't happen or shaming myself for it. But it's already so,

0:14:07.040 --> 0:14:08.680
<v Speaker 1>you know, and like when you look at it through

0:14:08.720 --> 0:14:11.240
<v Speaker 1>that those goggles like where am I not accepting what's

0:14:11.280 --> 0:14:13.840
<v Speaker 1>really happening and not dealing with it? That would be

0:14:13.880 --> 0:14:16.160
<v Speaker 1>the first step because then you're just literally like bringing

0:14:16.200 --> 0:14:17.959
<v Speaker 1>your logic and reason brain.

0:14:18.120 --> 0:14:19.760
<v Speaker 2>Back to the data of it.

0:14:19.960 --> 0:14:23.120
<v Speaker 1>But this also brings up really like the another side

0:14:23.160 --> 0:14:25.800
<v Speaker 1>of self acceptance that I feel like isn't talked about,

0:14:26.240 --> 0:14:28.440
<v Speaker 1>which is, you know, I think there's a lot of

0:14:28.920 --> 0:14:30.960
<v Speaker 1>you know, thought processes out there that's like, oh, just

0:14:30.960 --> 0:14:33.760
<v Speaker 1>accept yourself and love yourself no matter what. And I

0:14:34.080 --> 0:14:36.840
<v Speaker 1>do believe that that is great to an extent, but

0:14:37.040 --> 0:14:39.960
<v Speaker 1>it can also make us feel a little bit guilty

0:14:40.720 --> 0:14:42.800
<v Speaker 1>or cause us to feel like am I doing something wrong?

0:14:42.840 --> 0:14:43.840
<v Speaker 2>That I'm struggling with.

0:14:43.800 --> 0:14:46.240
<v Speaker 1>This, and that if we do want to you know,

0:14:46.360 --> 0:14:49.160
<v Speaker 1>up level our lives in any area of our lives.

0:14:48.880 --> 0:14:51.040
<v Speaker 2>It makes us feel or it has the.

0:14:50.960 --> 0:14:52.960
<v Speaker 1>Potential to make us feel bad, because it's like, wait

0:14:52.960 --> 0:14:54.920
<v Speaker 1>a minute, I'm hearing I'm supposed to love myself no

0:14:55.000 --> 0:14:57.240
<v Speaker 1>matter what, and so here's what I say to that

0:14:57.280 --> 0:14:59.720
<v Speaker 1>piece of it, Like, there are elements of your life,

0:15:00.120 --> 0:15:03.280
<v Speaker 1>ways of being, or habits or tendencies that you might

0:15:03.360 --> 0:15:06.480
<v Speaker 1>have that you're allowed to say, you know what, I

0:15:06.760 --> 0:15:10.160
<v Speaker 1>accept myself, but I also no longer want to accept

0:15:10.240 --> 0:15:12.720
<v Speaker 1>this as my default, and I want to up level.

0:15:12.840 --> 0:15:14.240
<v Speaker 1>And I want to draw a line in the sand

0:15:14.280 --> 0:15:16.920
<v Speaker 1>and say, listen, what you've been doing up until now

0:15:17.040 --> 0:15:19.120
<v Speaker 1>is fine. I'm not shaving it, but I no longer

0:15:19.160 --> 0:15:21.600
<v Speaker 1>want this to be who I am. I want to

0:15:21.680 --> 0:15:24.040
<v Speaker 1>up level, and giving yourself permission to up level, but

0:15:24.200 --> 0:15:26.480
<v Speaker 1>obviously not at the expense of your health, not the

0:15:26.600 --> 0:15:29.400
<v Speaker 1>expense of your happiness, and without going into that self rejection.

0:15:29.920 --> 0:15:32.280
<v Speaker 1>But I think giving yourself permission to see the difference

0:15:32.320 --> 0:15:35.560
<v Speaker 1>between like no longer accepting certain ways of being that

0:15:35.680 --> 0:15:38.120
<v Speaker 1>might be toxic or not healthy for you does not

0:15:38.200 --> 0:15:40.600
<v Speaker 1>mean that you don't accept yourself. But that's where it's

0:15:40.640 --> 0:15:43.640
<v Speaker 1>extra important to go back to the flip side of acceptance,

0:15:43.680 --> 0:15:47.240
<v Speaker 1>which is accepting the reality without adding in your own

0:15:47.280 --> 0:15:49.920
<v Speaker 1>shame story, your own blame story, and I think they

0:15:49.960 --> 0:15:52.040
<v Speaker 1>go hand in hand. So in answer to your question,

0:15:52.080 --> 0:15:53.560
<v Speaker 1>the first thing I would be, I would just like,

0:15:53.600 --> 0:15:55.840
<v Speaker 1>take an audit and this might change every day. Take

0:15:55.880 --> 0:15:58.480
<v Speaker 1>an audit of where you're just not accepting reality and

0:15:58.520 --> 0:16:01.280
<v Speaker 1>you are creating your own suffering. But then the flip side,

0:16:01.320 --> 0:16:04.880
<v Speaker 1>where are you not like saying, Listen, I love myself

0:16:04.880 --> 0:16:06.680
<v Speaker 1>and I accept myself, but I also want to up

0:16:06.760 --> 0:16:08.880
<v Speaker 1>level and this is really important, and I'm drawing that

0:16:08.960 --> 0:16:11.280
<v Speaker 1>line in the sand, and I'm radically committed to becoming

0:16:11.320 --> 0:16:13.400
<v Speaker 1>the version of myself that no longer struggles with this,

0:16:13.600 --> 0:16:16.040
<v Speaker 1>or the version of myself that has overcome this, and

0:16:16.080 --> 0:16:19.000
<v Speaker 1>focusing on that too, and giving yourself permission to accept

0:16:19.000 --> 0:16:22.280
<v Speaker 1>yourself and want to up level without feeling guilty about that.

0:16:22.960 --> 0:16:26.400
<v Speaker 4>Okay, where am I arguing with reality? So that's either

0:16:26.480 --> 0:16:29.000
<v Speaker 4>something you can do as a journal prompt and work

0:16:29.040 --> 0:16:32.600
<v Speaker 4>through it daily, yeah, at least once a week, just

0:16:32.640 --> 0:16:35.000
<v Speaker 4>do regular check ins. Or if you've got a friend

0:16:35.080 --> 0:16:37.640
<v Speaker 4>or a partner you're doing this, you can share with

0:16:37.680 --> 0:16:38.800
<v Speaker 4>each other, Hey, what's up?

0:16:38.880 --> 0:16:39.960
<v Speaker 3>Where are you arguing?

0:16:40.000 --> 0:16:43.000
<v Speaker 4>With reality today or this is what I'm noticing in

0:16:43.080 --> 0:16:47.520
<v Speaker 4>me and just I feel like having someone to talk to,

0:16:48.200 --> 0:16:50.920
<v Speaker 4>even if it is your journal, is going to be

0:16:50.920 --> 0:16:54.680
<v Speaker 4>beneficial over this five week course. So thank you for

0:16:54.760 --> 0:16:58.640
<v Speaker 4>that prompt, Land, where am I arguing with reality?

0:16:59.160 --> 0:16:59.360
<v Speaker 3>Now?

0:16:59.440 --> 0:17:02.640
<v Speaker 4>Next week going to be talking about self care, so

0:17:02.680 --> 0:17:06.600
<v Speaker 4>that will load up next Saturday and perfect it'll be

0:17:06.600 --> 0:17:08.800
<v Speaker 4>on the weekend so you can do some self care

0:17:09.119 --> 0:17:13.760
<v Speaker 4>for yourself, which looks so different for every single person.

0:17:14.119 --> 0:17:16.600
<v Speaker 3>Absolutely, I'll just say that what is.

0:17:16.520 --> 0:17:18.440
<v Speaker 4>Self care for me is not going to be what's

0:17:18.480 --> 0:17:19.920
<v Speaker 4>the same for Leanne, which is not going to be

0:17:19.960 --> 0:17:23.000
<v Speaker 4>the same for you. But it's just again finding the

0:17:23.080 --> 0:17:26.639
<v Speaker 4>definition defining that for yourself so that you have a

0:17:26.800 --> 0:17:30.719
<v Speaker 4>guide and you can move towards knowing your true value

0:17:30.720 --> 0:17:33.320
<v Speaker 4>and knowing your true worth, which is the question do

0:17:33.359 --> 0:17:35.639
<v Speaker 4>you really know it? Because that's the goal we all

0:17:36.040 --> 0:17:38.320
<v Speaker 4>want to So Leanne, where can people find you?

0:17:38.480 --> 0:17:41.760
<v Speaker 1>Everything you need to know is over on Leannellington dot com.

0:17:41.880 --> 0:17:45.240
<v Speaker 1>You can find me also at Leannellington on Instagram. And

0:17:45.280 --> 0:17:47.000
<v Speaker 1>if you want to take a deep dive into how

0:17:47.000 --> 0:17:49.600
<v Speaker 1>to rewire your female brain for freedom and peace of

0:17:49.640 --> 0:17:52.280
<v Speaker 1>mind and self image, you can find my free masterclass

0:17:52.280 --> 0:17:53.400
<v Speaker 1>over there as well.

0:17:53.800 --> 0:17:57.200
<v Speaker 4>And I am at Radio Amy on Socials, which Leanne

0:17:57.240 --> 0:17:59.800
<v Speaker 4>I'm going to also throw out. She has a new podcast,

0:18:00.200 --> 0:18:03.880
<v Speaker 4>it's been up about a month or so, What's God Got.

0:18:03.640 --> 0:18:06.080
<v Speaker 3>To Do with It? It loads up every Tuesday.

0:18:06.560 --> 0:18:10.280
<v Speaker 4>Definitely recommend that you check that out, even if you're

0:18:10.440 --> 0:18:13.520
<v Speaker 4>like I don't really know how I feel about God.

0:18:13.680 --> 0:18:19.160
<v Speaker 4>It's not just that although Lianne is someone who recently

0:18:19.200 --> 0:18:21.600
<v Speaker 4>discovered her faith, Well, I'll let you get to know

0:18:21.720 --> 0:18:23.960
<v Speaker 4>Liane and her journey by listening to it, but just

0:18:24.040 --> 0:18:26.719
<v Speaker 4>know that it's a safe space for whatever you're exploring.

0:18:26.800 --> 0:18:29.160
<v Speaker 4>And I love that question too of what's God got

0:18:29.200 --> 0:18:31.320
<v Speaker 4>to do with it? So thank you Liane, and all right,

0:18:31.359 --> 0:18:32.880
<v Speaker 4>we'll see you all next Saturday for self care.

0:18:33.200 --> 0:18:42.120
<v Speaker 2>Bye bye