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Speaker 1: This is Kelly Henderson and you are listening to the

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Speaker 1: Velvet's Edge podcast. My guest today our country music artist

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Speaker 1: Granger Smith and his wife Amber. Unfortunately, a year ago,

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Speaker 1: the couple experienced every parent's worst nightmare with the drowning

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Speaker 1: of their three year old son, River for Children Ages Wonderful.

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Speaker 1: Drowning is the leading cause of accidental death, So Amber

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Speaker 1: and Granger are here today to share that tragic story

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Speaker 1: in hopes of shedding light on safety precautions and ways

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Speaker 1: to help prevent this from happening to others, and also

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Speaker 1: to give insight on how they are walking through their grief.

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Speaker 1: This was an extremely tough conversation to have, and I'm

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Speaker 1: truly grateful for their bravery and vulnerability. Here's our conversation alright,

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Speaker 1: So I debated on how to approach this story because

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Speaker 1: I just imagine we live in this day would be

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Speaker 1: very traumatic. So I just want to come with this

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Speaker 1: from a place of understanding your experience and then also

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Speaker 1: um educating people. I know you guys have been doing

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Speaker 1: a lot of that lately, So just educating people the

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Speaker 1: best we can as to hopefully help this from happening

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Speaker 1: to others. So I just want to turn it over

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Speaker 1: to you guys as an ask if you just want

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Speaker 1: to tell us what happened in June a year ago,

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Speaker 1: just to whatever your comfort level is, you know me

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Speaker 1: to take it. Okay, okay. So June June four, we

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Speaker 1: were home. It was a normal, normal night, a normal

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Speaker 1: late spring evening, and we had just finished dinner. I

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Speaker 1: had gotten River out of his high chair and he

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Speaker 1: wanted to go outside and play with London and Lincoln,

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Speaker 1: which was totally normal. Um. Granger was outside kind of

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Speaker 1: doing gymnastics with London, and I had had a rough

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Speaker 1: day and I just needed a little bit of a break,

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Speaker 1: so I went back in the house to take a shower. Um.

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Speaker 1: I got out of the shower and I was just

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Speaker 1: kind of I think. I just sat down on the

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Speaker 1: bed and I had heard London scream and I heard

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Speaker 1: River fill in the pool and I heard her far away.

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Speaker 1: We had the back door open of the of the house,

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Speaker 1: and I heard her scream, River fill in the pool.

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Speaker 1: So I came running out. I was thinking, he still,

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Speaker 1: he's got to still be in the pool. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: go grab him. I'm gonna scoop him up. He's gonna

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Speaker 1: be fine, you know, and then I was thinking in

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Speaker 1: my head, you know, I think I screamed where his

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Speaker 1: daddy before I got out the door. And by the

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Speaker 1: time I got out to the pool, um, I I

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Speaker 1: saw a Granger doing CPR and River. So in I

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Speaker 1: guess the span of thirty seconds to maybe a minute

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Speaker 1: or two, you know, our boys were playing water gun

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Speaker 1: fight in the backyard and Granger was his back was

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Speaker 1: to the pool, um and he was doing gymnastics with London,

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Speaker 1: and somewhere in that time River found his way into

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Speaker 1: our locked pool gate and there was no splash, there

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Speaker 1: was no sound, there was no fight. Nobody saw it

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Speaker 1: that was outside. UM. So we spent the next couple

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Speaker 1: of days in the hospital and UM we had to

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Speaker 1: say goodbye a couple of days later. I'm so sorry,

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Speaker 1: um Granger. I was reading that on today dot com

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Speaker 1: and you said, the part that still makes you so

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Speaker 1: mad at yourself is just that you had a pool

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Speaker 1: and you didn't know that it's the leading killer. So

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Speaker 1: for children, I was reading from children from ages one

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Speaker 1: to four, drowning is the leading leading cause of accidental death?

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Speaker 1: Is that act? That's right? Yeah, that's right, that's crazy, right,

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Speaker 1: And yet and yet whenever you go to a pediatrician,

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Speaker 1: you never hear, um, do you guys have a fool?

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Speaker 1: Right your neighbor? Do your next neighbors have a pool?

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Speaker 1: Just curious? You never hear that. You hear more more about, um,

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Speaker 1: how are they? How is their diet? Where they writing?

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Speaker 1: You know? Do you have a car seat? How are

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Speaker 1: you know? How they sleeping? You hear that kind of

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Speaker 1: stuff instead. Yeah, And then I was with a part

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Speaker 1: about the gate was the hardest thing to read too,

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Speaker 1: because it seems like you guys took all the precautions

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Speaker 1: that up. As a parent, you would think that you should,

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Speaker 1: and River could swim and there was a gate. It

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Speaker 1: wasn't like he was just out there by himself. Um,

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Speaker 1: what what would you say to other parents who are

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Speaker 1: probably listening now and just thinking like, I mean, obviously

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Speaker 1: this is a worst nightmare situation. But what are some

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Speaker 1: of the tangible things that you could even say that

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Speaker 1: you could could do different? Lee, Because it seems to

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Speaker 1: me like you guys were taking all the safety precautions

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Speaker 1: that you could. I think the number one thing for

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Speaker 1: me I would say to any parent, any caregiver, any

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Speaker 1: babysitter is that we didn't I never knew about. It's

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Speaker 1: what's called I s ARE and it's Infant Swim Survival

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Speaker 1: or Infant Swim Rescue, and this teaches, it could teach

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Speaker 1: babies as young as eight months to to float in

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Speaker 1: the water. So they learned how to float, and they

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Speaker 1: learned survival skills to where if they ever somehow make

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Speaker 1: it in the water, they can roll over and make

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Speaker 1: a sound or cry or breathe so somebody can hear

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Speaker 1: them or see them. And we just didn't know about that,

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Speaker 1: you know. I I thought, age three, you know, we

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Speaker 1: put them in swim lessons and and will be good.

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Speaker 1: And that's just we know now that that is just

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Speaker 1: too late. So I think the number one thing I

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Speaker 1: would say would be very very early swim lessons or

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Speaker 1: I s R. Definitely definitely still install a pool gate

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Speaker 1: at a second lock, get a pool alarm. I just

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Speaker 1: our main thing is that it's not one thing that

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Speaker 1: gonna save your child. It's multiple layers of protection. A

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Speaker 1: gate's not gonna save home. Maybe a pool alarm could

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Speaker 1: could fail, but all of those things added together offer

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Speaker 1: layers of protection killing. The deadliest thing, in my opinion,

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Speaker 1: is thinking that your supervision is enough. Yeah, and I

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Speaker 1: and I look at that in terms of say you're

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Speaker 1: driving down the highway and say, well, I'm gonna be

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Speaker 1: I'm a safe driver. I'll just watch all the rest

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Speaker 1: of the cars. I'll just keep my eyes on the road.

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Speaker 1: But you're you're not thinking about a seatbelt and air

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Speaker 1: bags and everything else that the other layers of protection.

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Speaker 1: And it's it's ironic. We're actually doing this podcast on

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Speaker 1: the anniversary of of close friends of ours that lost

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Speaker 1: their child the same way. Um, and we are actually

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Speaker 1: close family friends. They knew our story and a month

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Speaker 1: later it happened to them and that that's how crazy.

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Speaker 1: And it happened to them in a at a birthday

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Speaker 1: party for his older brother. He was turning what six

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Speaker 1: years old? Five years old, and the entire family, all

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Speaker 1: the friends, grandparents were there. Um, they had a lifeguard there.

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Speaker 1: It was at a community pool and they were literally

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Speaker 1: cutting the cake for the little boy that the five

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Speaker 1: year old and the three year old snuck away behind

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Speaker 1: everyone and was fishing something out of the water and

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Speaker 1: slipped in. Oh my gosh, so even yeah, because weren't you,

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Speaker 1: I mean, do you replay that moment in your mind

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Speaker 1: over and over because you were twenty ft away, right.

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Speaker 1: Is that just the hardest part of that for you? Yeah? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: every day. I think about it every day. I think

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Speaker 1: about it every day. All I had to do was

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Speaker 1: turn my head around, um a little sooner than I did,

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Speaker 1: and yeah, it's it's uh, it'll be with me forever.

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Speaker 1: I was reading in people you said, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: forgive myself, but I'm not there yet. What do you

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Speaker 1: think it will take for you to get to a

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Speaker 1: place of forgiving yourself. I think the reason I say

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Speaker 1: that is because everyone else tells me that eventually I will. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I was like, well, I mean you you have to eventually, right,

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Speaker 1: That's but that's I mean besides um time, just having

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Speaker 1: a lot of time and to reconcile with myself over time,

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Speaker 1: and um, and it's hard to reconcile right now because

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Speaker 1: it's still fresh and you don't want to really dive

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Speaker 1: into that and um, I used to dive into it

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Speaker 1: every day and we amber and I called it the

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Speaker 1: slide show. You'd get you get It's like you're walking

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Speaker 1: down the hallway and you you glanced into a room

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Speaker 1: with the doors cracked and there's a slide show playing

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Speaker 1: and you get sucked into that room and that's the

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Speaker 1: same six or seven slides that are playing over and over,

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Speaker 1: and that's that's your memory of that night, and it's

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Speaker 1: it's it gets on a loop. And anyone that's that's

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Speaker 1: gone through anything traumatic doesn't even have to be terrible.

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Speaker 1: It could be a breakup with a boyfriend and girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: You go through a slide show of these certain events

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Speaker 1: that you remember and you cannot get that loop out

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Speaker 1: of your head. Well, sobody, how do you stop that?

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Speaker 1: Have you figured that out yet? No? Um, I've gotten

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Speaker 1: a lot better than Amber and I have been to therapy,

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Speaker 1: went to we went to therapy and Tennessee and UM

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Speaker 1: spent a week there and it was it was probably

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Speaker 1: the the best thing that we've done for ourselves, UM

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Speaker 1: since the accident. Was was actually invest in some therapy

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Speaker 1: and it was actually wants to say it, I was

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Speaker 1: just gonna say, I think we did it. We did

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Speaker 1: a certain therapy called brain spotting that was there and

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Speaker 1: it's kind of a different form of E M d

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Speaker 1: R where it's like an eye rapid eye movement and

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Speaker 1: and grangers talking about this loop and it and it is.

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Speaker 1: It's a it's a loop that you play over and

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Speaker 1: over and over of the traumatic visions that you see

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Speaker 1: and what you could have done and and so that's

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Speaker 1: therapy that therapy truly helped me. I mean I still

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Speaker 1: have those visions, of course, I always will for the

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Speaker 1: rest of my life, but I can honestly say that

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Speaker 1: therapy has diminished those for me by about eight percent.

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Speaker 1: So if anybody is struggling with something like that or

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Speaker 1: things that they remember or trauma, I recommend looking into

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Speaker 1: that because that that really helps those visions for me. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I actually love that tip because, um, I know with me,

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Speaker 1: in any in any experience that I've had in my

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Speaker 1: life where there's been grief, it comes in such waves

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Speaker 1: like some are expected obviously, but then some of it

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Speaker 1: has been so unpredictable and kind of like the slideshow

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Speaker 1: thing you're saying, like almost sometimes you wouldn't even realize

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Speaker 1: you're doing that, you know, but it's just like it's

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Speaker 1: unconsciously happening. So what else has the grief looked like

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Speaker 1: for you guys? Like, is it just different every single day?

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Speaker 1: It is? I mean, there we've it's been a little

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Speaker 1: over a year now, so we're slowly coming into you know,

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Speaker 1: peaceful situations and or finding joy. But like you said that,

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Speaker 1: you can be hit it out of nowhere with this

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Speaker 1: wave of grief or a memory or a trigger of something,

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Speaker 1: and and then you just have to fight through that.

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Speaker 1: And another thing I've learned is that we Granger and

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Speaker 1: I grieve very differently. You know, how he grieves is

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Speaker 1: going to be different than how I'm grieving. And there's

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Speaker 1: no right or wrong way to grieve. And you have

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Speaker 1: to you have to really support each other and give

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Speaker 1: each other grace to be able to to handle something

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Speaker 1: like this and to make it through that. Yeah, Amber,

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Speaker 1: how I mean, how in the world do you handle

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Speaker 1: your grief and still well? I guess this question could

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Speaker 1: go for both of you guys, But how do you

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Speaker 1: deal with grieving the loss of one child while you're

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Speaker 1: still parenting two other children? I think that it's just

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Speaker 1: a it's just something I have to I don't have

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Speaker 1: a choice, you know, I have to do other children

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Speaker 1: I have to take care of and there, you know,

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Speaker 1: I want them to be to be raised and have

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Speaker 1: a joyful life and and to be to be happy,

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Speaker 1: but also to still remember their brother. In a in

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Speaker 1: a in a good light, in a happy way, and

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Speaker 1: I don't want them to be traumatized. So we did

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Speaker 1: put them in therapy, play therapy for about nine months. Um.

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Speaker 1: And it is hard because I'll be playing with them

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Speaker 1: sometimes and laughing and you know, truly laughing and having joy,

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Speaker 1: and then there's that thing in the back of my

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Speaker 1: mind that says, why are you laughing right now? You

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Speaker 1: know you you lost your son. Your son should be here,

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Speaker 1: and so that's a fight. Um. But it's just it's

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Speaker 1: just trying every day to do the best that you

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Speaker 1: can and and giving yourself grace because there's gonna be

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Speaker 1: days that are much harder than others. Yeah. Have you

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Speaker 1: I know you guys are both pretty give a faith

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Speaker 1: background and you're pretty religious, and so has it at all?

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Speaker 1: Have you battled with being mad at God and just

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Speaker 1: like why would this happen? Because it just seems so unfair? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's um, it's very natural to think why could how

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Speaker 1: could a god of the universe allow something so terrible

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Speaker 1: to happen, or or anything for that for that matter.

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Speaker 1: And I kind of quickly put together that day that

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Speaker 1: the only way to really answer that question is that

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Speaker 1: if you believe in God, then you have to believe

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Speaker 1: that He is all knowing and he he had rivers

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Speaker 1: days numbered, He has all of our day's numbered, and

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Speaker 1: he knew exactly what was happening, exactly when it happened.

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Speaker 1: Why I have no idea and that could that could

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Speaker 1: torment me forever, why that could even be possible. But

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Speaker 1: but the fact that it could be possible, that that

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Speaker 1: that is that his days were numbered, then that makes

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Speaker 1: me think, well, then there has to be a purpose.

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Speaker 1: There has to be There has to be something in

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Speaker 1: his legacy that matters. Otherwise it doesn't. It was a waste.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't It was just a tragedy that was gone forever.

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Speaker 1: So the only other way to look at it is

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Speaker 1: there's a purpose. There's there's something bigger than all this.

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Speaker 1: And and just thinking that and kind of diving into

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Speaker 1: that thought was instantly healing from me to think, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna put anytime I feel that heavy grief, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna put that into a drive of rivers legacy and

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Speaker 1: and how he could affect other people all the way

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Speaker 1: to this podcast today, that if one person hears it

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Speaker 1: and goes, yeah, you know, what I never really thought

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Speaker 1: about that I could get a pool alarm and maybe

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Speaker 1: should I should do that, you know, And and if

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Speaker 1: that message could spread and spread and spread one person

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Speaker 1: at a time, then you could look back. It's your

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Speaker 1: question on being angry at God, and you can go

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Speaker 1: maybe God needed River to save a bunch of lives.

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Speaker 1: I hate that. I hate it. I hate that, but

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Speaker 1: but maybe maybe that's a purpose and it helps answer

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Speaker 1: that question. I was reading that you guys are using

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Speaker 1: the hashtag live like Riv. What does that mean to you?

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Speaker 1: What does what does that mean? Every day? Well? Riv

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Speaker 1: he had a very special personality. He was um because

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Speaker 1: extremely outgoing. Um. He was very carefree and happy. Um.

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Speaker 1: He enjoyed being outdoors and barefoot, and he had crazy

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Speaker 1: red hair. And he liked going fast. Everything he did.

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Speaker 1: He liked to go fast, faster, faster, faster, whether that

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Speaker 1: was a little tricycle when he was a little baby

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Speaker 1: or as he got older and got it to go

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Speaker 1: carts and things like that. But he loved adrenaline and

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Speaker 1: wind in his face and um. And so when you

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Speaker 1: when we think about live like Riv, it was it

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Speaker 1: was instantly a live life to the fullest type sentiment

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Speaker 1: where where let's let's focus on today. Let's not worry

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Speaker 1: about tomorrow. We can't change the past. Let's let's enjoy

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Speaker 1: today to the fullest. Like Riverwood, I do think you

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Speaker 1: guys have a huge platform now to talk about this,

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Speaker 1: and I'm so we're just in reading your story, I'm

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Speaker 1: so um, just in awe of how gracefully both of

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Speaker 1: you have been doing this. And I also think that

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Speaker 1: it's so amazing, um, the beauty of the realness between

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Speaker 1: the two of you, and I was I was reading

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Speaker 1: about I think Granger. It was on your Instagram page.

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Speaker 1: You posted UM on your tenth anniversary, and the whole

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Speaker 1: thing was just about you know, we could post these

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Speaker 1: pictures of this perfect family and this perfect relationship, right

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Speaker 1: but like that, you're more in love almost now because

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Speaker 1: you guys have been through so many ups and downs.

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Speaker 1: You're heavily flawed, each of you, and you accept each

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Speaker 1: other as you are. And I want to read it

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Speaker 1: because the way you said it was so beautiful. But

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Speaker 1: you said what I see as two people in a

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Speaker 1: storm hanging on to God for truth and guidance, like

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Speaker 1: a lone fence post in the ravaging wind. I see

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Speaker 1: a girl hurting, drawing on unimaginable strength us to continue

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Speaker 1: on with necessary motherly duties, clinging to the Bible like

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Speaker 1: it's a life raft hurling through an unknown sea. I

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Speaker 1: see a man savagely battling a relentless demon, shielded only

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Speaker 1: by faith and masking the crippling weakness brought on by

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Speaker 1: his deep shame, his failure as a father. But we're

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Speaker 1: still in love, stronger than ever before, because but it

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Speaker 1: feels different in its evolution. Now, it's not the fairy tale,

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Speaker 1: but the vulnerability that fuels the fire, the very essence

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Speaker 1: of what makes us human, bounded by integrity and truth,

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Speaker 1: but still fundamentally flawed. That makes our love mature. It's

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Speaker 1: always sweet to see a young couple exchange vows and rings,

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Speaker 1: but it's truly special when you see the old couple

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Speaker 1: holding hands on the sidewalk, because you know the peaks

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Speaker 1: and valleys they've climbed together, the storms they've weathered, the

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Speaker 1: matter love that's endured. That is the real fairy tale.

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Speaker 1: I thought that was so incredibly beautiful. And you know,

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Speaker 1: you often hear when a family loses a child that

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Speaker 1: it can tear a relationship apart. So how do you

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Speaker 1: feel that you guys have both leaned into each other

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Speaker 1: in your grief instead of turning on each other. I think,

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Speaker 1: I mean, that's kind of a hard question to answer,

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Speaker 1: but you know, I even had some friends asked me

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Speaker 1: after after it happens. You know, I don't know if

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Speaker 1: I could have. I don't know if I would have

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Speaker 1: my marriage would have withstood, you know, losing this, losing

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Speaker 1: a child. I can just honestly say there was never

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Speaker 1: you know, he he could have blamed me that night

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Speaker 1: because I didn't, you know, put river to bed or

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Speaker 1: you know, we just whenever I made that commitment to

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Speaker 1: say I do for me, it was honestly until death

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Speaker 1: do us part, you know, for better or worse. And

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Speaker 1: this is this is part of the worst. This is,

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Speaker 1: I hope, one of the worst things we ever have

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Speaker 1: to face as a couple. But I'm glad that he

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Speaker 1: shares my same view on that on marriage and love

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Speaker 1: and and we have a family, and we are just

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Speaker 1: committed to each other. We have just made that commitment

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Speaker 1: to each other to stand together understand that we're going

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Speaker 1: to go through ups and downs in our lives, but

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Speaker 1: it's leaning on each other and leaning on God that

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Speaker 1: are going to get us through it. Yeah, Grazer, what

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Speaker 1: about you? Yeah? Um, it's hard. It's hard to really

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Speaker 1: answer that. If I didn't already feel the way I

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Speaker 1: did about Amber before the accident, I think if we

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Speaker 1: were fragile in any way or doubting in any way,

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Speaker 1: this probably would have just ended it, because I've seen

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Speaker 1: that happen to other people close to us. Um. But

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Speaker 1: to me, it all boils down to one thing. I

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Speaker 1: was out in the backyard with all three kids playing

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Speaker 1: gymnastics with my daughter. The boys were water gun fight.

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Speaker 1: I looked over my shoulder and saw river in the pool.

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Speaker 1: No matter how you added up, that's all on me.

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Speaker 1: And when she came out of the house to help

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Speaker 1: with CPR. From then, from that day to this when

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Speaker 1: she has not blamed me mm hm, she splits the

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Speaker 1: blame and that that did it. I mean, that's it.

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Speaker 1: That's the only that's that's why we're here. If she

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Speaker 1: had come out, and that's what tears people apart is

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Speaker 1: if she has ever looked me in the eye and said,

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Speaker 1: how could you do this? How could you take your

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Speaker 1: eye off of him? If she had ever once said

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Speaker 1: those words, that would that would be the crack that

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Speaker 1: would just grow and grow and grow. Well, you both

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Speaker 1: really talk a lot now about finding joy, So how

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Speaker 1: are you finding joy each day? The simple things? Really,

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Speaker 1: and and I think maybe there's a lot of more.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot of other people that could agree with

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Speaker 1: me because of what has brought us that, you know,

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Speaker 1: we have a lot of us have turned act to

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Speaker 1: just being grateful for today and the little things and

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Speaker 1: you know, a sunny day or a cool breeze, or

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Speaker 1: a nice meal with with on on an actual table

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Speaker 1: with another person sitting across from the table, you know,

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Speaker 1: the things, things that we might have taken for granted

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Speaker 1: in twenty nineteen. Um, that's where we're finding joy now.

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Speaker 1: We haven't gone on vacations, are gotten new cars. So

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Speaker 1: I can't I can't say anything for our joy besides

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Speaker 1: today and God, it sounds like a lot of present

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Speaker 1: living to me. Yeah, absolutely, yeah, absolutely. And there's a

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Speaker 1: little bit of a danger in in me preaching live

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Speaker 1: in the present, because it gives a little bit of it.

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Speaker 1: You know, I don't care about anything reality, but it's

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Speaker 1: but there's a difference between that and saying, you know

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Speaker 1: what I could prepare for tomorrow, but I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to rely on it. And and you know phrases like

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Speaker 1: dream home, you know, things that we used to say,

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Speaker 1: We don't say those things anymore. We say we're we

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Speaker 1: We could plan for tomorrow, we could we could have

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Speaker 1: the five and tenure plan, but we're really going to

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Speaker 1: live for today. We're gonna we're gonna find the best

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Speaker 1: moments of today, knowing full well that tomorrow is not

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Speaker 1: guaranteed at all. Right, I think it's just such a

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Speaker 1: fun line, like you're saying. I mean, you obviously want

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Speaker 1: to set goals in your life, but you also don't

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Speaker 1: want to miss what's right in front of you. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: absolutely right, Amber. If you had to say one thing

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Speaker 1: that you would want Rivers legacy to bring, what would

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Speaker 1: it be? Oh my gosh, that's really hard to answer. Um.

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Speaker 1: I think it's just too just like Granger said, just

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Speaker 1: to be in the present moment and enjoy each other

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Speaker 1: and just love each other. And and River always knew

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Speaker 1: that Jesus was his friend, and I I he's already

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Speaker 1: his legacy is already bringing this. You know, you asked

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Speaker 1: how we find joy? And I get so many messages

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Speaker 1: from people that say you know, I've I was turning

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Speaker 1: away from my faith. I didn't I didn't trust God anymore.

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Speaker 1: But your story has brought me back to church. Your

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Speaker 1: story has brought me back to God. And I think

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Speaker 1: that to me means so much for his little legacy,

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Speaker 1: you know, bringing people to bringing people to Heaven for sure,

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Speaker 1: and then on the earthly side of things, saving lives.

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Speaker 1: You know, I've had so many people say, we we

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Speaker 1: installed a pool gate because of you. I put my

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Speaker 1: kids in lessons because of you. So as much as

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Speaker 1: this hurts that we don't have our son physically here,

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Speaker 1: his legacy is doing so much already, and he he's

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Speaker 1: changed so many lives and his short little life on earth,

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Speaker 1: you know, than many people do in their whole lifetime.

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Speaker 1: So oh yeah, I heard his story the other day

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Speaker 1: that UM, a babysitter was watching UM some children and

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Speaker 1: what the littlest one just you know, in the blink

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Speaker 1: of an eye, if you go to the bathroom, he

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Speaker 1: snuck away, and he made it through the gate, and

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Speaker 1: she had found him in the pool, but he was

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Speaker 1: floating and he was taking his breath because their parents

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Speaker 1: had heard of our story. And it's what I'm in

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Speaker 1: I s R lessons. So she said, if you ever

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Speaker 1: don't feel like you're saving lives, you at least saved

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Speaker 1: one today. That just means so much. I bet Granger,

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Speaker 1: would you contribute anything to that? Yeah. My focus for

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Speaker 1: River's legacy truly is it starts with our our two

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Speaker 1: children here. And you know, my number one goal above

431
00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:47,600
Speaker 1: above saving other families lives and above everything is that

432
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:53,679
Speaker 1: they grow up without regrets or UM sadness or they

433
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:57,960
Speaker 1: only think of Rivers a little bundle of joy and

434
00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:04,280
Speaker 1: forever their little brother and and no no pain or

435
00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:08,800
Speaker 1: sorrow connected with any kind of PTSD as they get older,

436
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:11,920
Speaker 1: UM that they have to deal with. And that's that's

437
00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:16,159
Speaker 1: definitely been a challenge for every night. But man, I

438
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 1: gotta say right now, I think I think it's doing

439
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:23,760
Speaker 1: great because I don't see remnants of that. UM. Everything

440
00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:25,840
Speaker 1: seems to be a smile when we talk about River

441
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:29,160
Speaker 1: and UM, you know, like I said, they were both

442
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:33,800
Speaker 1: with me London, my little girl, Um, she was facing

443
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:35,920
Speaker 1: the pool, so when I went in after a river,

444
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:39,280
Speaker 1: she was right there with me. Then she was seven

445
00:24:39,359 --> 00:24:42,439
Speaker 1: years old when it happened, So that that's that could

446
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:44,840
Speaker 1: be something that carries with her the rest of her life.

447
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:48,800
Speaker 1: And so that's my number one goal is is make

448
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:53,520
Speaker 1: sure that that that memory turns into um, a lesson

449
00:24:53,720 --> 00:25:02,119
Speaker 1: of recovery and peace and and understanding grief. Yeah. I

450
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:04,440
Speaker 1: know you've said that being on the road and performing

451
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:06,960
Speaker 1: has been it's been very healing for you. Why is

452
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:12,320
Speaker 1: that what's healing about it? Yeah? At first it was terrible,

453
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:17,159
Speaker 1: um going out and you know, I knew I had to.

454
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:20,240
Speaker 1: It was the lesser of two eagles because I didn't

455
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:25,280
Speaker 1: want to be at home. So I took the family

456
00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:28,879
Speaker 1: and we hit the road and UM, those first few shows,

457
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:33,760
Speaker 1: I remember we're up in kind of almost up in

458
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:38,399
Speaker 1: the Northwest, and we were started in Montana, I believe,

459
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:41,200
Speaker 1: and so it was a great place to go. Montana

460
00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:43,960
Speaker 1: is an amazing place to go if you're wanting to

461
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:49,959
Speaker 1: grieveland and feel start to feel nature around you. But um,

462
00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:53,400
Speaker 1: but going out on stage, I just it felt meaningless.

463
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:58,040
Speaker 1: It just really felt it felt worthless. Singing some lyrics

464
00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:01,880
Speaker 1: to some people so that they could this party, and

465
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:06,480
Speaker 1: I really had to wrap my brain around re engaging

466
00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:10,560
Speaker 1: and why it mattered to play music, and I quickly understood.

467
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:14,040
Speaker 1: It took a few months to realize that, um, that

468
00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:17,080
Speaker 1: a lot of people were looking at me to see

469
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:19,840
Speaker 1: how I was going to react, like what this guy

470
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:22,240
Speaker 1: is this guy gonna freak out? Is this guy gonna

471
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:25,720
Speaker 1: cry on stage or do something weird, or is he

472
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:28,399
Speaker 1: even gonna show up at all? And and so I

473
00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:30,399
Speaker 1: kind of thought, Okay, well, here we go. This is

474
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:34,880
Speaker 1: this is something. I'll go out there and and I'll

475
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:37,000
Speaker 1: try to give them the best show I can and

476
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:41,280
Speaker 1: show them that I'm gonna I'm gonna stand up from

477
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:44,919
Speaker 1: my little boy and the life is not going to stop.

478
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:48,600
Speaker 1: And that that was kind of a message I wanted

479
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:51,439
Speaker 1: to send because there's a lot of people there that

480
00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:56,000
Speaker 1: were going through losses. Everyone is everyone is going through

481
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,439
Speaker 1: it or about to go through it, or they're dealing

482
00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:01,120
Speaker 1: with it from ten years ago. But but everyone knows

483
00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:04,480
Speaker 1: how that feels at some level. And I think it's

484
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 1: important message to say, you gotta get up, you gotta

485
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:09,440
Speaker 1: comb your hair, you gotta brush your teeth, you gotta

486
00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:11,439
Speaker 1: put one ft in front of the other, and you

487
00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:17,120
Speaker 1: have to go. You have to keep showing up. Have you, Um,

488
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:19,800
Speaker 1: is there anything new musically that we can look forward

489
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:22,880
Speaker 1: from you in the next coming months. Yeah, there's gonna

490
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:28,480
Speaker 1: be a new album September, and it's gonna be um

491
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:34,080
Speaker 1: divided up into two volumes, Volume one Septembvolume two November seven.

492
00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:36,520
Speaker 1: So there's a lot of music. Um. I was going

493
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:38,840
Speaker 1: to release an album in twenty nineteen, that was always

494
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:42,480
Speaker 1: a plan, and then that that year got turned upside down,

495
00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:45,679
Speaker 1: and then it got pushed to this year, which this

496
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:50,919
Speaker 1: year was so um. So there's gonna be sixteen songs,

497
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:55,080
Speaker 1: needless to say, and UM, I'm happy with it. I

498
00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:57,720
Speaker 1: really am. There's a lot of it was written during

499
00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:00,280
Speaker 1: a crazy time and so although I'm not going to

500
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:03,919
Speaker 1: get into specific stuff about River, in these songs, you

501
00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:08,479
Speaker 1: could definitely feel, um, the emotion of what our family

502
00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:12,119
Speaker 1: was living. I know, I know for me, especially just

503
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:14,240
Speaker 1: in this pandemic, I've been listening to so much music,

504
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:17,600
Speaker 1: so I'm always really excited when there's new music coming out. UM.

505
00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:20,919
Speaker 1: I also need to talk about Earl Dibbles. Can we

506
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:24,520
Speaker 1: talk about him for a second. Explain to people who

507
00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:29,600
Speaker 1: Earl is. Yeah, Earl is an alter ego, lack of

508
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:35,480
Speaker 1: a better term, an ultra country boy, ultra country boy.

509
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 1: I like that. It started in twenty eleven and I

510
00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:42,720
Speaker 1: was promoting an album at the time, and my brothers

511
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:46,640
Speaker 1: and I, who we all worked together in management, they

512
00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:49,640
Speaker 1: were we were coming up with just trying to think

513
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:52,520
Speaker 1: of some videos that would go viral to help promote

514
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:57,600
Speaker 1: the album, and Earle was just another idea that was

515
00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:00,920
Speaker 1: ultra country boy kind of represented some people we had

516
00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:04,120
Speaker 1: known and some family members we knew, and and let's

517
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:05,760
Speaker 1: just go way over the top and just make this

518
00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:07,560
Speaker 1: funny guy and have him sit on the porch and

519
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:10,600
Speaker 1: talk about country things and how Maddie is about the

520
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:16,360
Speaker 1: city and and that went viral. And then a year

521
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:18,240
Speaker 1: later I wrote a song for him and put out

522
00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:20,520
Speaker 1: a music video for him, and then that went viral,

523
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:23,360
Speaker 1: and then I added that to the show, and then

524
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:25,200
Speaker 1: it became a really fun part of our show. And

525
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:27,400
Speaker 1: so the next album, I did another song for him,

526
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:29,520
Speaker 1: and then we added that to the show and sending

527
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:34,600
Speaker 1: him fast forward to it's just become it's really integrated into,

528
00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:38,400
Speaker 1: strangely enough, into what I do. Just this crazy country

529
00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:40,360
Speaker 1: boy comes out at the end of the show and

530
00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:43,840
Speaker 1: sings a song, and then um, there's random videos I'll

531
00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:46,240
Speaker 1: put up with him, and he has his own Instagram

532
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:50,960
Speaker 1: pages and and so it's it's it's uh, it's surprisingly

533
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:55,840
Speaker 1: not very strange after nine years. Definitely something I absolutely

534
00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:59,280
Speaker 1: love or all I love. I love becoming him and

535
00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:02,200
Speaker 1: singing song for him and the creative release that it

536
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:04,320
Speaker 1: gives me. Well, I have to tell you. I mean,

537
00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:06,080
Speaker 1: I obviously knew who you are just from being in

538
00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:09,840
Speaker 1: the country music world, but during this pandemic, my boyfriend,

539
00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:13,000
Speaker 1: he is a little bit of a country boy himself,

540
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:16,120
Speaker 1: and he was like quoting something that Earl says. I

541
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:18,080
Speaker 1: can't even remember what it was right now, maybe it

542
00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 1: was ye ye or something, but anyway, he shows me

543
00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:24,920
Speaker 1: the videos. We watched probably for an hour straight, just

544
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:28,480
Speaker 1: dying laughing. I mean, it's so spot on. If you

545
00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:30,880
Speaker 1: guys haven't checked it out, I mean it's YouTube. The

546
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:33,840
Speaker 1: best place to go find it or just google Earl Dibbles.

547
00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:37,360
Speaker 1: YouTube is kind of where it all started. Yes, if

548
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:39,520
Speaker 1: you need a good laugh, I feel like Earl is

549
00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:43,239
Speaker 1: your guy. He's He's the place to go. Um. I

550
00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:45,120
Speaker 1: just want to say thank you guys so much for

551
00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:48,760
Speaker 1: being vulnerable and just open about this story. I really

552
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:53,040
Speaker 1: do appreciate that and the honesty, and I know it's

553
00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:55,000
Speaker 1: never going to be easy to talk about, so I

554
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:57,400
Speaker 1: just really appreciate you showing up for that and what

555
00:30:57,440 --> 00:31:02,480
Speaker 1: you're doing for educating people, And UM, is there anything

556
00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:06,240
Speaker 1: that we could do as just you know, myself our listeners. Um,

557
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:08,600
Speaker 1: is there any sort of thing set up for river

558
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:12,560
Speaker 1: or like what we could do to help you guys.

559
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:17,120
Speaker 1: So after after River past, we knew we just wanted

560
00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:19,800
Speaker 1: to keep his little legacy going, so we created the

561
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:23,120
Speaker 1: River Kelly Fund. Okay, that's that's River Kelly Fund dot

562
00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:27,240
Speaker 1: org and UM, people, you can just donate as little

563
00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:29,440
Speaker 1: or as much as you like, and we've set it

564
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:32,040
Speaker 1: up to to be able to help out all different

565
00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:34,440
Speaker 1: areas of the community. So we've helped with drowning prevention,

566
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:37,760
Speaker 1: We've helped with the Tennessee Tornado Relief Fund, We've helped

567
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:42,320
Speaker 1: recently with a wildlife organization in Alaska. We've helped with

568
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:45,600
Speaker 1: citizens with disabilities, children's hospitals. So it's set up to

569
00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:48,240
Speaker 1: help anywhere that there is a need. So we set

570
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:50,840
Speaker 1: that up to help keep his little little legacy going.

571
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:53,960
Speaker 1: River Kelly Fund dot org. River Kelly Fund dot org.

572
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:56,160
Speaker 1: And then where can people find you guys on social

573
00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:58,520
Speaker 1: media if they just want to keep up with your story?

574
00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:03,640
Speaker 1: So my Instagram him as at Amber Emily Smith and

575
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:07,560
Speaker 1: mine is Everything is Granger Smith on all the socials. Amazing.

576
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:09,920
Speaker 1: Thank you guys again so much for being here and

577
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:11,960
Speaker 1: for sharing your story with us. You guys go check

578
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:16,640
Speaker 1: out both Amber and Granger and River Kelly Fund dot

579
00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:19,120
Speaker 1: org just if you feel the need to help or

580
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:21,160
Speaker 1: you want it to get involved in this. Thank you

581
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 1: guys again, Thank you so much. Kelly