00:00:08
Speaker 1: And I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear.

00:00:17
Speaker 2: But you're a guest to my home.

00:00:21
Speaker 1: You gotta come to me empty, and I said, no, guests. Your presences presents enough that I already had too much stuff. So how did you dare to surbey me?

00:00:48
Speaker 3: Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Bridge or Wininger. We're not in the backyard. How could we be. It's I think it's ninety eight degrees back there, and it just seemed impossible. But we are in person. We're in the office, in uncomfortable chairs, trying to just do our best. Here again, it is ninety eight degrees. But by the time this episode reaches you, I believe October. So maybe the leaves are falling, maybe you're feeling cozy. I can't speak for you. I can't speak for your comfort level. We have to get into the podcast. I love today's guest. I think she's so funny. It's ago wotem.

00:01:29
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. Then I jumped the gun.

00:01:33
Speaker 3: There did not.

00:01:36
Speaker 1: I was just.

00:01:38
Speaker 2: A guttural reaction, if you will, to you being able to pronounce my name correctly, which is you would be surprised that still in twenty twenty two. We're getting a lot of ego, no adumns, ago, nuotem, We're getting all kinds of things. So I actually kind of braced myself for you to say my name, and I was going to I was like, this will be very telling.

00:02:00
Speaker 3: And here's our guest Dave.

00:02:01
Speaker 2: And yes, honestly better than what I get, to be honest, I like that more. No.

00:02:07
Speaker 3: I mean, we have a lot of mutual friends, so I'm aware of you, and also you're on television.

00:02:11
Speaker 2: I mean, you would think.

00:02:12
Speaker 3: But people will find a way.

00:02:14
Speaker 2: They will find a way love, They'll you would think. I mean, it's even my name is Ago, it's pretty short. It's not my government name. But we're not here to talk about that, and people will. I still have nicknames. You still I get eggs, Eggie, which I'm not opposed to. But people will find their way. People have to do their thing with your name. It's what they do.

00:02:34
Speaker 3: Names are continue to be such a mystery to me. For well, maybe it's not so much a mystery because I have kind of an insane name that people have a really difficulty.

00:02:43
Speaker 2: I nodded, I go yeah, yeah, I mean, why did I not go yeah?

00:02:48
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I know mine feels like a trap for a lot of people. And there are a lot of people in my life who call me Bridger Winneger. I mean it's Bridger Wineger. But and there are people have close people in my life who cannot pronounce my name. Bridger just stops people in their tracks. They've seen bridge it before. It you cannot process we've switched the T to it all, isn't that?

00:03:06
Speaker 2: Yeah? That is funny to be like, I know this word and it just has another letter on the end, Bridger the Bridger. But if you haven't seen it before, you're just like a help.

00:03:18
Speaker 3: But yeah, names are are tricky, and I feel like we're all trained to be like I.

00:03:23
Speaker 2: I'm not.

00:03:23
Speaker 3: I won't be able to pronounce the name, so I won't even try the person. I'll just mangle it right exactly.

00:03:27
Speaker 2: It's like I'm not you know, there's so many names where it's like, yes, I have not seen this before, but if I actually just take the time to look at it, I probably can pronounce it. So I had someone who was able to say my government name, which now we are talking about it. So this is kind of this is the DMV, This is the DMV. We're at the DMV. Okay, we're doing an improv scene. But I got ago Budma from a woman just last week somewhere, and I was like, oh, you you knew how to say you don't know me, but you just looked at the letters and you were like, got it, and try to just try. You don't give up before you try with any other word, right, correct?

00:04:03
Speaker 3: I mean I talk a big game, but then I run into a word at reading a book and like, skip it. I hope I never skip it.

00:04:10
Speaker 2: Don't have to. If you're reading quietly in your mind, no one has to know you don't know how to say that. You skip it, use context to try to figure out what it means.

00:04:17
Speaker 3: No one finds out how dumb I am. What are you going to be for Halloween?

00:04:21
Speaker 2: Oh? I never think about this. I am not a Halloween person. I'm not anti. I just am not. I just know people who are very Halloween and they're thinking months in advance, such as now about their costumes. I'm not one of them, but just recently I was like, what if I became one? So now you are putting me on the spot kind of your coming out? Yeah, coming out as a halloweeno a classic Halloween girl over here. I normally for I mean for like six years. I just woar, Mickey ears. Okay, it's so easy, just you know, every single year. But I think if if I were to come up with a costume for this year, gosh, I mean, I feel like I dressed in costume for work all the time. In my first season on SNL, I was like, we had a table read on Halloween. It was a Wednesday, and I was like, I don't know, dude, Like people will dress up here, like is this a fun workplace? They dress up for the table read because I'm not a costume person. And I was like, well, the best thing you can do is be yourself and in general, and I was like, I'm going to work as myself, and so did everyone else. They did. No one else dressed in So I don't know, Bridget, you're putting me on the spot, but I'm I actually want to workshop this with you. I well, okay, what are you going to be for Halloween?

00:05:37
Speaker 3: Well, okay, so I'm kind of in the same boat. Okay, Look, it's a lot of work to put a costume together. The last I don't think I've done anything for the last two Halloweens. Yeah, yeah, maybe the last you were.

00:05:49
Speaker 2: Like fuck COVID protocol. The last two. The two of those are your big less you know. It's a huge last few years, very close quarters.

00:05:58
Speaker 3: No, I haven't. I can't remember the last time I actually dressed up for Halloween. But this year I'm feeling like maybe the way to go is like ordinary objects, things like a match book or I don't know, an iron, but I like I like this.

00:06:14
Speaker 2: I don't know an iron.

00:06:16
Speaker 3: Like you know, the iron clothing.

00:06:17
Speaker 2: It's so funny because I think the ordinary object, the name you would think you hear, indicates simplicity, but actually an ordinary object would require a lot of effort to Like a match you would be a good matchbook, little redhead.

00:06:30
Speaker 3: Oh that's not a bad IDEA.

00:06:32
Speaker 2: Match be a lit matches. That's so horrible? Am I canceled? Okay?

00:06:39
Speaker 3: Actually I do think there are redheaded matches that aren't lit. Oh, so I could go either way. I have seen the versatile in that.

00:06:45
Speaker 2: Yeah. Different, But then you'd have to explain yourself. People would wonder. So I don't know if we should go with match for you. We're now on to you because I let's just let's say, spotlight on me. Okay, I mean, is there any worse feeling in the world than having to explain your Halloween costume? No, that's really low.

00:07:06
Speaker 3: If you're not telegraphing it and people just know and then you're like.

00:07:08
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then people going, oh, okay, I see, yeah, that makes sense. You ever see those like couples costumes. I feel like sometimes people have to explain their couples costumes and somehow that feels less embarrassing because it's like, we were in this together and drop the ball. But I, yeah, what would I be following? This is such a fantastic question. And my brain, I'll tell you what's happening in my head when you asked me, I see a black room. I'm trying to think of things from pop culture in the last year. I see nothing. Beyonce keeps coming to my mind, and all I think is low hanging fruit. Not that anything that you're going to think of tangentially related to Beyonce is going to be low hanging fruit Halloween costumes. So then I was like, Okay, what else in pop culture? Nothing else is coming to mind. I'm in this black room it's me and Beyonce and you're begging her for answer, tell me what's the next project? But I, yeah, I don't, I don't know. Help me tell me what should I say.

00:08:10
Speaker 3: I do think pop culture, uh news related things are a trap. I think you're headed for a trap where you're gonna run into somebody with the same costume or it's gonna it's just gonna be one of these confusing things. Yeah, I mean, I think what I'm trying to say here is I'm trying to veer us back towards ordinary objects.

00:08:30
Speaker 2: Okay, So I'm looking around the room, Okay, okay, okay.

00:08:34
Speaker 3: You don't want to be an iPhone that feels topical in some like weirdly dated way. You could be a guitar.

00:08:40
Speaker 2: Okay, Yes, I see something. I like what I like this game I Spy I sway a dumbbell, which it's anyway a little free weight if you will, like. I kind of like, I don't know how I pulled that off.

00:08:52
Speaker 3: It feels like it would be an awkward thing because it would be very top heavy and then also kind of constraining your ankles.

00:08:59
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it would be one of those costumes people would go like what are you? Because I would wear like platform heels or something and right black platform boots or something.

00:09:08
Speaker 3: And I feel like people are gonna be like, are you a what is the little thing with the sand?

00:09:11
Speaker 2: The time? The time thing? What is the time? We both know what it is.

00:09:18
Speaker 3: Do you have any idea? What is that?

00:09:20
Speaker 2: It's a it's a time.

00:09:21
Speaker 3: It comes with a board game jazz and is trapped one in alatinlas, typed in sand.

00:09:28
Speaker 2: And ordinary object. There's nothing more obvious. If you were our glass for Halloween, Bridger and I would be like, what are you? But it would actually be on us now we would be the dumbasses det Yes, that's all that is?

00:09:44
Speaker 3: Okay, So you're thinking maybe a dumbbell maybe said guitar. You didn't say guitar, Okay. I mean then there are classic things. A witch.

00:09:55
Speaker 2: I was a witch when I was I was a witch when I was six, okay, and that's the name of my memoir. So I was a witch when I was six and uh my mom's friend Virginia took me trick or treating. I can't. I don't. I feel like which is so low again? Which is the which is the evil equivalent? Of Mickey ears like the witch. It's it's the devilish equivalent, but it's always it's always charming, that's true. And you can wear like a cute you could be a slutty witch. You could be a very highly conservative conservative with frumpy witch. There's like different, there's levels to it. That is like diva, which you could be diva witch. Diva witch would have like really long nails, like a crazy manicure, perfectly smooth green skin, yes, contoured contour to the.

00:10:42
Speaker 3: Gods, I've ever seen a contour in green.

00:10:45
Speaker 2: Oh, you just go light green on the tops of the cheeks and dark green at the whatever that's called at the bottom of the cheek. Create a nice cheekbone.

00:10:55
Speaker 3: We're giving people this, this is this is now kind of the costume, the brainstorming. We're lighting things in people's brain. Oh, a pencil. I love a pencil. And see that's an ordinary object. Yes, you could probably find it a costume store.

00:11:09
Speaker 2: That is true. That's true, like a crayon. Well, see here's my mind also said you have to create your costume. You can't. It's cheating to where like costume store costume. To me, it's funny for a person who doesn't give a shit about Halloween. I'm like, you're cheating, that's not that's not what. There's a lot of rules coming from me right now. Yeah, but you know.

00:11:29
Speaker 3: I'm not capable of making my own costume.

00:11:32
Speaker 2: No, no, I mean but I well, you don't know what you're capable of.

00:11:35
Speaker 3: Oh, I certainly do. I've got a pretty good idea at this point, and it's a short list.

00:11:40
Speaker 2: Well, if you watched a YouTube video and someone like make a costume for dummies, you wouldn't be able to do it.

00:11:45
Speaker 3: I don't think I could. I think like YouTube tutorials and like they're nice to watch, and they give me the brief illusion that I'm gonna be able to do it. Watching some like seventeen year old pull off some miraculous thing that I start, I'm like, oh.

00:11:58
Speaker 2: And then it makes you feel like shit, don't Well, Okay, so during the pandemic when we did SNL at Home episodes, we're still in the pandemic. I don't want to sound like a denier.

00:12:06
Speaker 3: Yeah we are, and yeah, I guess we still are. Kind of it is the pandemic, but I guess they.

00:12:13
Speaker 2: It's pandemic retro it's like that's retro. Now say something else. It's like it's post.

00:12:19
Speaker 3: I think it's uh, it's a time to it's always be careful time.

00:12:22
Speaker 2: Okay, it's be careful time. The government be careful however you wish, whatever you want to do, we realize we can't control you or guide you direction. And what is the purpose of government? Okay? So during the.

00:12:37
Speaker 3: Real pandemic, deep.

00:12:39
Speaker 2: Deep, deep pandemic, I like, we did SNL at Home episodes and they sent us green screens to do this. I probably told the story somewhere, but it haunts me anytime I hear anyone talk about watching YouTube tutorials send us these green screens. They like pop out and you've got a big, giant green screen. I lived in a studio apartment at the time, so that green screen will be my entire apartment, and I was like clinging to any sense of normalcy, but like could not because there's a green screen in my apartment. Is a green screen? Well, every time we would do a sketch, we would record these things via zoom, someone directing us. It'd be like, all right, I need to get the green screen tucked away and pretend we're not in this pandemic and I'm gonna, you know, do my thing, make a meal. And every time I'd go to put the green screen away, I could not figure out how to fold it.

00:13:25
Speaker 3: Oh the worst.

00:13:26
Speaker 2: It's like popsyst like a tent and it's like boop, it's open, and that's easy enough, but closing it was a fucking bitch, and I would I would have actual meltdowns by myself. Like so when I think of the pandemic, I think of me trying to fold this green screen and to the and I would watch YouTube videos because I was like, everything's on YouTube, and I'd watch and this fucking guy would fold his up with such ease, and I was like, it's not that easy for me. I am trying. And the only way I would ever get it closed was like melt down, pray to Jesus, cry a little bit more, and then just be like fuck it, you have to close. And then it would but I don't. I still to this day don't know how to like actually close it, what the proper steps are and you're not alone, yeah, I just anyway. But then on the last when I was moving out of that apartment, still pandemic times, still like, fucking When I look at that green screen, I see pain, I see her, I see that my lowest point. I the instructions for closing it, A little sheet of paper like fell out of the bag, you know, the green screen came and I was like, where were you, Where the fuck were you six seven months ago when I was having meltdowns every single day of the week trying to close this thing?

00:14:34
Speaker 3: And did you, I mean, did you try following those instructions at that moment to just see if they would even work?

00:14:39
Speaker 2: No, because I don't believe No, no, I don't believe they would either and honestly able to require like popping the green screen open again, and I was like, absolute fuso lutely not. And the sick and twisted thing is I've moved into an apartment with minimal storage, and just two days ago I saw the green screen like I and I was like, why do I still have this? Get rid of it. I feel like it's like some sort of sick memento for the again, the lowest point in my life, of course, but I should throw it away anyway. That's my brain. The YouTube, I was like, oh that fucking got on YouTube is an easy thirty second video.

00:15:13
Speaker 3: No, you need to have like a fourteen foot wingspan to fold one of those easily.

00:15:17
Speaker 2: Yeah, he was like, and then you just, oh, man, fucking I mean he was trying to be helpful, but it's not easy.

00:15:22
Speaker 3: And getting your arms around in the first place, it feels crazy. But I mean, speaking to that point, there are things that like the pandemic has burned into me where I'm like, I was looking at my freezer recently. I was like, that food is unquestionably expired, not throwing it away because there's this little thing in my brain that's like, what if the grocer has a line again?

00:15:42
Speaker 2: Right right, Well, listen, this is how like you become those like weird uncles, aunts, grandparents who are like quirky, like I just hold on to you always got to have fifty rolls of toilet paper in the house. You never know. That's what it's done to. It's done it to all of us. I'm the same one.

00:16:01
Speaker 3: We're all going to when we're in our seventies, half kids running around and being like, oh, this older person's very weird.

00:16:06
Speaker 2: Yeah, and they say there's some pandemic. Crazy.

00:16:10
Speaker 3: Oh god, what a terrible time to talk about this. Let's get we're out of deep pandemic. That's the good. You can kind of go to the grocery store and get any item you want to treat.

00:16:24
Speaker 2: Yes, it's true. It's true.

00:16:26
Speaker 3: I stopped at seven eleven and bought up frozen snickers just because.

00:16:29
Speaker 2: I wait, they freeze them for you. Have you ever had the excuse?

00:16:36
Speaker 3: That's not a bad idea.

00:16:38
Speaker 2: The grocery store.

00:16:39
Speaker 3: The grocery store should have the candy in and.

00:16:42
Speaker 2: They should just in case you want a frozen version.

00:16:44
Speaker 3: Right, everybody loves like a frozen twigs, a frozen reces.

00:16:49
Speaker 2: I mean, a frozen reces is really good. Special, that's really special.

00:16:53
Speaker 3: They're leaving money on Is it money on the table? Is that if I guess kind of a business.

00:16:59
Speaker 2: You're a busy If you had on a suit, I think you'd say money on the table.

00:17:03
Speaker 3: Yes, leaving money on the table. The Kroger brand is leaving money on the table.

00:17:07
Speaker 2: That is the Kroger brand. Do you know your grocery stores? Huh?

00:17:11
Speaker 3: Absolutely, don't even stop. I am I am a grocery You're.

00:17:15
Speaker 2: Beful I'm retreating. Stop get out of that shell.

00:17:21
Speaker 3: Come on, Okay, So I do have one talent?

00:17:23
Speaker 2: I know I know area codes. That's weird. You really not all of them, but I know so many. Why it's weird, I don't so I have a little bit of a like photographic memory, and so seeing it, I just like associate it with people i've met, and I just met someone with like an Arkansas. Obviously there's probably multiple area codes in Arkansas, but I just like I was like, okay, great committing that to memory.

00:17:50
Speaker 3: What's Arkansas?

00:17:51
Speaker 2: Five oh one?

00:17:52
Speaker 3: Five oh one? Yes, let me tell you mine five zero, but go ahead? Eight zero one?

00:17:58
Speaker 2: Ooh sexy?

00:17:59
Speaker 3: Don't absolutely the opposite of sex?

00:18:03
Speaker 2: Zero one? Damn it? What's that? It's Utah? Yeah, I would have. I don't know any You're the first person I've ever.

00:18:09
Speaker 3: Met committed to memory.

00:18:11
Speaker 2: Got Utah? Okay, first person at least? What's your area? Can you say? Are you allowed? It's very private? No? It's one o three okay, boring ls you transferred? I used to be used to be three three three oh three three three. Do you like Detroit? No, don't tell me, Do tell me, do tell me, because I okay.

00:18:35
Speaker 3: It's the Denver metro area.

00:18:37
Speaker 2: So I was in Boulder. I knew it was a d. Also, I said, I have the skill and immediately ship the bed. When tested by the two people don't know either of yours.

00:18:46
Speaker 3: You kind of had more than I. I know, like Utah, I know, New York and Los Angeles.

00:18:51
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, that's the big cities, the cities I know. When they said three oh three, yeah, I feel like I knew it was a deep My brain is weird. But I failed this test and I'll own that and bury me.

00:19:06
Speaker 3: Do you have a favorite area code?

00:19:08
Speaker 2: Oh, that's good, that's it. I kind of like Houston's eight three.

00:19:12
Speaker 3: Two eight three two. That's that feels like a chaotic area code to me, a little all.

00:19:16
Speaker 2: Over the place. But like I two even numbers. I like even numbers.

00:19:20
Speaker 3: It feels like it's got like it almost I visualized like a great chopped salad.

00:19:25
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, it's a little bit of everything. It's a little bit of everything, thrash, it's a little tasty. But also I do enjoy Atlanta four four zero. That's a nice, clean, suete cute, right, And Baltimore's is four one o or four four three, and I'm from there, but I didn't pick it as a favorite and so again the tomatoes will be thrown at me because I didn't pick my hometown area code. But anyway, those are four four zero and eight three two. There's a Q three.

00:19:54
Speaker 3: Two eight three two. I mean eight three two does have round.

00:19:58
Speaker 2: Yeah, curvy, it's a curvy. It's curvya perfect body curvy.

00:20:03
Speaker 3: I'm picturing fresh tomatoes, picturing Romaine Iceberg, whatever you want to throw in your salad.

00:20:09
Speaker 2: I love my curvy area code.

00:20:15
Speaker 3: Well, look, you're good with area codes, or we thought you would know.

00:20:20
Speaker 2: Let's just put it that way. In a huge time, I just know some area codes at the speed of light. You're aging.

00:20:28
Speaker 3: You're back pedaling so fast. Another thing that I feel like you're not that great at you. You agreed to be on this podcast. I said no gifts at some point in the past, and I was thrilled. I thought, we're going to have a terrific time. We're gonna chat, maybe we'll be in the backyard. That that little part of my plan fell apart pretty quickly with the raising temperature of Earth, but so you know, I put that disappointment aside. I still thought, are going to have a good time chatting, And so it was a little shocked, a little surprised when you knocked on my door and I opened it and you were holding a gift.

00:21:09
Speaker 2: I was holding three gifts.

00:21:12
Speaker 3: Now this podcast is called I said no gifts. So you know, you show up to my home for the first time, we're really meeting for the first time, and it feels like it feels a little bit like an assault.

00:21:27
Speaker 2: I get that. I get that I did not respect your boundaries. I did not respect your boundaries, and again, cancel me, cancel me. I did. Honestly, you said no gifts and I said gifts. So what is it? Because I still have to be me right, I still have to be who I am. Right in this world, everyone has permission to be who they are. You said no gifts, I said gifts. I held out the gifts. You did take the gifts. So you know, you probably have to practice being more boundaried and like honoring your own home.

00:21:57
Speaker 3: For truth, It's true.

00:22:01
Speaker 2: I'm reading you like a book. That's my special skill. I want to take back the area code thing and say that I'm actually really good at reading people. That's my skill.

00:22:09
Speaker 3: My boundaries are absolute mush.

00:22:12
Speaker 2: Yeah, the boundary lines aren't. Yeah, pudding they can. You can just speed through them. There's really it's paper thin boundaries for me. So, okay, you've called me out in a huge way. I don't know that anything you just said would hold up in court, but I mean, should we open these gifts here on the podcast or what? No, I'm going to be the first guest to say no, I don't want to open them on the podcast. I wanted this was a meant to be a private moment. This all this talk up top has been really fun and that's that. Thank you for having me. Okay, no, yes, let's open them. I'm pulling them out. I've wrapped them. I can't say nicely, but I have wrapped them. As I was, Okay, here we go.

00:23:01
Speaker 3: This is actually kind of a nice little wrapping job. They're in like a brown wrapping paper.

00:23:06
Speaker 2: Brown wrapping paper is actually just the the materials that my food delivery came in. Open medium first.

00:23:18
Speaker 3: Big, okay, wait, okay, oh, there's a small one okay, medium, small.

00:23:22
Speaker 2: Big, And just to make it really confusing, I could have done anything out, I could have said a different order.

00:23:27
Speaker 3: But I so they're in like, uh, recycled brown paper bags, which I fully support. I think that if you have bags in your home, that's all you need for a gift. Yeah, clearly, why bother getting anything else? We have enough trash on planet Earth.

00:23:43
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:23:43
Speaker 3: If anyone has a problem with a gift bag, they've got a Okay, these are interesting, the Riddler. They're poorly wrapped.

00:23:52
Speaker 2: They're really poorly wrapped. They're not They're wrapped in a way that they're not meant to be open.

00:23:58
Speaker 3: It's the tape that's kind of like moving.

00:24:00
Speaker 2: The tip is moving taste. We might need to get a scissor. Yeah, that might Uh, we might have to get a scissor for Bridger or why do I want to help? I'm not going to that. I'm like, I'm like, this is like saw.

00:24:16
Speaker 3: I may retrieve my scissor and let me try once more. I would like to see if I have.

00:24:21
Speaker 2: Any I have straight. I feel like you have straight? What if you pulled that loop? What if you pulled the loop and you can fold? Maybe? Or maybe I'm wrong, Maybe I'm wrong.

00:24:31
Speaker 3: Oh maybe if I do this, I'm peeling it, okay, okay, screaming at me.

00:24:37
Speaker 2: I'm The listeners are like what the hell? Okay, okay, now, okay, Bridge is making progress talking me through this. Okay, are you sweating?

00:24:45
Speaker 3: I am absolutely drenched.

00:24:47
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sweating watching.

00:24:50
Speaker 3: Okay, we're pulling, we're pulling. I hope I'm not destroying whatever.

00:24:55
Speaker 2: I think you're destroying it. But we'll find that'll get kind of the fun that together.

00:25:01
Speaker 3: It's the tape.

00:25:03
Speaker 2: Is okay, careful, careful, careful.

00:25:06
Speaker 3: We're getting close and close again. This is the first of three, so this is there's gonna be some.

00:25:11
Speaker 2: Every gift is going to take about twenty minutes to else, so that'll be the whole pot. I hope you don't have anything planned for after, including any discussion about what the gift is our first nine I literally used moving tape.

00:25:25
Speaker 3: It's really this is the toughest it.

00:25:27
Speaker 2: It's incredible.

00:25:28
Speaker 3: Okay, we've gotten the tape away from the and now it's fallen out. Okay, wait, okay, so it's a and I did not destroy it.

00:25:38
Speaker 2: Oh no, the price is on the back. I see the price. Look at it.

00:25:41
Speaker 3: No, I love radical hon.

00:25:44
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, no, you should read it as you were going to and then tell everyone the price.

00:25:49
Speaker 3: Okay, it's a mood mask. Just let a glow mood mask. Which I like the I mean it's kind of an almost wintry pond for no reasonable Yeah. Yeah, because this is not a Christmas item. No, there's no Santa to be seen. Okay, I'm gonna flip it over. Should I try to guess how much this would cost?

00:26:06
Speaker 2: Yes?

00:26:07
Speaker 3: I love a price.

00:26:07
Speaker 2: Okay, guess I'm the guests of us.

00:26:13
Speaker 3: This is a classy podcast.

00:26:15
Speaker 2: I thought this was a classy podcast. That's why I agreed to do it. This is trashy, Okay.

00:26:22
Speaker 3: I'm gon guess three ninety nine.

00:26:23
Speaker 2: Okay, well, I guess you think of a cheap bitch, I won.

00:26:29
Speaker 3: I mean, it's five dollars, so I go over.

00:26:31
Speaker 2: He didn't go over, But what do I look like some cheap wore? To you? It was a dollar and one cents more than.

00:26:38
Speaker 3: Well, I had to do that after you called my podcast trash. I had to kind of neg you in a way that would for time.

00:26:43
Speaker 2: If you will. Okay, Well, well Mary Mary Christmas Eve even Okay.

00:26:51
Speaker 3: I thought that the thing you bought me was cheap crap, and.

00:26:53
Speaker 2: I thought the podcast was cheap, classless.

00:26:58
Speaker 3: Okay, And so now we're like it's almost like we're just starting over. Okay, freshly beorn again. Exactly tell me about this.

00:27:08
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm happy to so just let it glow that fruit. Okay, here's part of my truth. I have something to confess. I didn't buy that. I just stole them. I didn't buy that. I stole it from a CVS. I just wanted to see what I could get away with. Allah Robert Durst, by the way Houston native shout out, Oh yeah, it was gifted to me. I've got it was gifted to me. But I've been gifted so many masks that I intend to use and have not used. I thought, why not give one to Bridger? You seem to care about your skin. You are, You're glowing, You're glowing. We've gone from nagging each other to love going love bombing you. You're glowing, but why not glow a little more. I'm turning this into a sales pitch. Do you feel like you're glowing? Glo a little more? I just get let just get a just let it glow masks. I've gotten those, I've got. I've been gifted so many of not even those just face masks, And I was like, I'd like to share the wealth. I refuse to throw them away. You seem pissed that I'm regifting, not absolutely me. Oh my god. Okay, Bridger is literally passed. I cann't see it in Bridger's eyes.

00:28:24
Speaker 3: No, this is what I am agreeing in a huge way, which I think this is just part of my problem. I have a hard time getting rid of or using anything. Yes I'm cheap, Yes, I like I can't spend money. Okay, face masks like I'll get one on occasion as a gift, even on this podcast I've gone. And then I'm like, it's got to be a special occasion when I use.

00:28:42
Speaker 2: That, see, and that's well, that's how I feel. I won't. I'm like, I don't have time to sit here with this thing on my face for ten minutes. I have business to do, and so I think you my assumption is that you have time.

00:28:53
Speaker 3: To say ten minutes, this guy has going.

00:28:56
Speaker 2: Let me do the podcast with the mask on or something that could be a fun little tree. But anyway, I get a lot of those, I won't sit down and use them. I want to regift. I think that that one's gonna be a good one. I think I actually have used the justletic glow Okay, you seem so skeptical. I'm so now I'm just like sort of second guessing myself and everything I've done.

00:29:18
Speaker 3: I'm so curious. I've never and again I maybe this is uh, maybe I shouldn't say this a lot on the podcast. I have gotten them before on this show. Never use them, okay, because I'm a little worried. Okay, I'm a little I'm like, what if it's one of the what if I become severely burnt?

00:29:34
Speaker 2: Oh?

00:29:34
Speaker 3: What if it eats through my face?

00:29:36
Speaker 2: It won't eat through your face. The worst thing that's ever happened to me with any facial product is that I've gotten like I've broken out in a rash. That's not the worst.

00:29:43
Speaker 3: How long did the rash last?

00:29:45
Speaker 2: A day and a half? Maybe?

00:29:47
Speaker 3: Okay, So as long as I've got nothing going on for a day, day.

00:29:49
Speaker 2: And a half, I bet that'll be fine. The bridge the famous last words face smelts all. I bet it'll be fine. It's but I get it. You you're not going to use it. Thank god I didn't spend five bucks on it.

00:30:03
Speaker 3: But you've revealed, and I hate to say it, that this was given to you as a gift yeah, and you also we've talked about it being a cheap ass gift. Yeah, So whoever gave it to you is now out in the world kind of spiraling in a huge way.

00:30:19
Speaker 2: Yeah. I don't know who gave me that one. But here's the thing I had. I had that one and then I had another one that I know was not given to me by the same person. And I'm pretty sure the other one didn't have the price tag on it, and I wish I can literally, I'm literally like going inside myself right now and wishing that I had brought you the other one without the price tag.

00:30:39
Speaker 3: I'm going to find out who gave this to you, and I'm going to ruin your relationships.

00:30:43
Speaker 2: I think it was a makeup artist.

00:30:44
Speaker 3: Oh interesting, well, I've got ties to the makeup community, richer.

00:30:47
Speaker 2: I can see your body language is saying I'm never going to use this. You're like you're crossed, You're leaning away from the mask. You've put it on top of the tape that you plan to throw away. I can tell you're throwing this away, and I knew you might honestly before, but I was like, literally, I was, it's on top of all the trash now mind you. I knew you might not use it, but I was like, I'd rather someone else throw it away than me. And that's how if I was like, that's fine, I'm not prepared to talk.

00:31:16
Speaker 3: You're going to look like such a fool when my face is melted.

00:31:20
Speaker 2: Okay, I can't wait to see prove it.

00:31:25
Speaker 3: Prove it, I mean and again in court.

00:31:28
Speaker 2: Okay, you want to go. You want to go to court so bad.

00:31:30
Speaker 3: I'm desperate to get to lawyer up and just sue somebody into oblivion.

00:31:34
Speaker 2: Let's go to Judge Judy. Let's go to Judge Judy.

00:31:37
Speaker 3: I mentioned us on Judge Judy. My face is gone face yeah, okay, speaking of mine.

00:31:45
Speaker 2: That's it, just the beginning of man.

00:31:50
Speaker 3: I like that you and I don't Judge Judy and.

00:31:53
Speaker 2: I face glowing. I've used the mask. I've used it. I finally used it, and it worked fine for me. Maybe it's because he had the five dollars one. I had the priceless one, which is a more classy gift. We could do it anyway. You can throw it away. I'm not gonna be.

00:32:11
Speaker 3: Throwing It'll be thrown away after it's burned. My face off.

00:32:13
Speaker 2: Okay, great, the nearest rectacle, yes, and I say, okay, great, as long as you use it.

00:32:21
Speaker 3: Actually, I'll probably have to save it for the ziploc bag, which will then be presented by my lawyer.

00:32:25
Speaker 2: Yes, this was Richard's vase, okay.

00:32:30
Speaker 3: Which is now kind of clinging to this mask? So you don't use these that often?

00:32:34
Speaker 2: No, No, I don't. I don't. I you know, I don't. I can't sit down to do that, even like a proper like apply it and let it sit harden on your face for ten minutes. Mask. I'm like, nobody got time for that. I literally have shit to do. I would love to do that, but I'm like, I actually have shit to do I and I can't because you have to have washed your face, So before you use that, you have to clean your face. I cleanse my face in the morning, before I take a shower, before I have to go do something. And then at the end of the night, I cleanse my face because I've come home from doing a bunch of things and all I want to do is go to sleep.

00:33:10
Speaker 3: You're out of time.

00:33:11
Speaker 2: I'm out of time. So what am I to do in the middle of the day, face cleansed, and throwing a mask.

00:33:15
Speaker 3: You're saving my problem perfectly.

00:33:17
Speaker 2: Okay, well all right, well listen, maybe we can go at it together and maybe try a mask. And anytime I've tried them, to be frank, this is shitting on my own gift fully, I'm like, fully, I'm like, okay, after the fact, I'm like, Okay, I guess, I guess I did do a thing for myself for ten minutes. But if my face feels the same as it did before I did that.

00:33:43
Speaker 3: Match, they do feel like they've got a bit of a hocus pocus element where it's just like you just have to believe that it did.

00:33:48
Speaker 2: So yes, exactly placebo or like.

00:33:51
Speaker 3: Kind of a thing where it's just like you have to do it so often that you see results. And three this is like a once every five years. Yeah, I don't even I don't even want to call it a tree because I feel like I'm going to be stressed while wearing.

00:34:02
Speaker 2: Yeah. See that's it. Yeah, it's not good for you. Then maybe you can give it, you can regift it. I won't be offended. And you're going to try it, Okay, I'm going to Actually I don't believe you, but you again, leaned away from the mask.

00:34:15
Speaker 3: I'm gagging, I'm panting. I'm just like a losing hair thinking about it. No, I am going to try it and I will prove it to you, and you're going to be so embarrassed. Your family's going to be embarrassed. Is going to be embarrassed.

00:34:29
Speaker 2: My family member is going to move back to Nigeria for shame.

00:34:32
Speaker 3: I'm going to drive your family away from.

00:34:34
Speaker 2: You, okay, move back to Nigeria and.

00:34:36
Speaker 3: You will lose everything after I try this.

00:34:38
Speaker 2: Man, I want to you know what, I dare you? I dare you when you post this, When you post this episode, did you post a picture of yourself with that mask on? And actually, I don't want it to be a picture. I'm gonna want up that. I want it to be a video, a ten minute video where we see what you did in those ten minutes that you were supposed to have the mask on.

00:34:55
Speaker 3: It'll it'll probably be sixty seconds. I think Instagram has a limit.

00:34:58
Speaker 2: Well, you can do ten videos, don't doom, doom? Do you have to be doing something different in each video so that I know that you didn't just post the same video ten times.

00:35:10
Speaker 3: The budget of this video is going to be like forty fine on location.

00:35:14
Speaker 2: Fine, like a twenty four will do it, and.

00:35:17
Speaker 3: A twenty four this is your next horror. Yeah, I think so that ends up being more kind of a drama on people, Like I thought it was going to be scary.

00:35:24
Speaker 2: Right exactly, and it's like yeah, and it's but it's.

00:35:27
Speaker 3: Heart wrenching right where like, well, I definitely have never seen anything.

00:35:30
Speaker 2: Yes, and I feel for him though, really I'm curious to see what he does next' that's my that's my ask of you.

00:35:39
Speaker 3: But okay, we've got this thing which you are absolutely going to be made a fool buy.

00:35:44
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:35:45
Speaker 3: We did medium and then large than small or small than large.

00:35:49
Speaker 2: I said medium, small, large, But after you opened the medium, or while you were opening the medium, you were struggling, and I thought I could have done small, medium, large and anyway, So we'll see this is.

00:36:01
Speaker 3: Maybe it is small. It's like the size you're gonna be able to open that one. This is once again almost entirely wrapped in that tape. It's probably like two inches by two by three inches. It's a little rectangling. Brown paid.

00:36:12
Speaker 2: Time for me to drink orange juice.

00:36:14
Speaker 3: I'll have some orange juice, treat yourself to a little breakfasty treat. Let's see here, Mmmm this tape, this tape listener, I.

00:36:25
Speaker 2: Can't as MR for I hope so for ups. Okay, yeah, okay, Oh I got through it pretty easily.

00:36:36
Speaker 3: But I'm learning.

00:36:38
Speaker 2: Situation different and this is I wanted to leave my mark that uh.

00:36:43
Speaker 3: That grocery store bag. Oh yes, just the perfect texture.

00:36:47
Speaker 2: Takes you back to childhood.

00:36:48
Speaker 3: Okay, we're pulling it. Okay, So first of all, I'm just gonna right up front say this is a clearly used item. Nothing has ever been more used huge dog toy on the show before, and this is like second most user.

00:37:06
Speaker 2: It's not used. I promise it's a ghost. I've carried it with me for over a year, and I always think I'm gonna use it, and again I thought ago it's time to give it up. I don't think you're going to use it. Over over twelve months, this has been This has traveled the world with me.

00:37:24
Speaker 3: I worried it with me like a broken heart.

00:37:26
Speaker 2: Ye, that's a bird with me. I wear it on my sleeves.

00:37:30
Speaker 3: So it's a ghost. Smile stain erasers. Now, this does feel like a full on attack.

00:37:35
Speaker 2: I've never met you, but my assumption was you had nasty stains on your teeth. That was I just had a hunch that those famous stained stained as hell can't put those in the laundry, So get the go whatever the hell that is, I mean, no, I read it to me.

00:37:56
Speaker 3: It's a stain eraser. Instant stain erasers.

00:37:59
Speaker 2: That whole front page. Please, I'm gonna.

00:38:00
Speaker 3: Read it as if it were you know, scripts, ok, okay, go smile. Stain erasers. Instant stain erasers for fresh breath and sparkling white teeth. Go smile before after fresh mint, coffee, wine and tea stains. Single use applicator net point zero two fluid ounce point five nine milli leaters.

00:38:22
Speaker 2: We're traveling, and I can prove it. I can speak to that. Now.

00:38:25
Speaker 3: When I hear the word instant stain eraser about something you're putting in your mouth, I'm thinking that's a high powered bleach.

00:38:34
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it is look active ingredient chlorox bleach. By the way, the name goes smile, I'm like, is that an instruction or is that like cheering you on, Like go smile, go smile, go smile. I guess I would need a comma. Goh, smile yeah ghost, Yeah, we need to come anyway, go ahead.

00:38:53
Speaker 3: So it says, you know, wider this is the back of the packages as brighter, wider polished teeth than minty fresh breath in sctends and the the number one ingredient is propylene glycol.

00:39:04
Speaker 2: Never heard amazing, an amazing, powerful, powerful.

00:39:09
Speaker 3: Chemical hydrogen peroxide.

00:39:11
Speaker 2: We all know that, we know that, we know that we're familiar. Well know, if you have a cut back to your out and if you get period stains on white sheets, it will get And you heard that here first. You don't have to watch YouTube. You heard it on the podcast. Do you put in a spray bottle or using a rag? Oh, don't be so fancy poor, just d it right on, dump a little on. Sometimes it's too much, sometimes it's too little. And you you go as you can and you take another a rag or a paper towel and you dab at it and hope that your boyfriend's family doesn't see you. Don't want to holiday? Yeah the holiday? Is it their first time meeting you. That's what you do, Okay, But anyway.

00:39:53
Speaker 3: And then just a bunch of other ingredients. The next is just literally it says flavor, not even artificial.

00:39:59
Speaker 2: It's just flavor, not natural flavor, flavored to be a flavor. Everyone knows when you say flavor, I know what you're talking about.

00:40:08
Speaker 3: Immediately. We picked the same thing. Yeah, flavor, the same taste. It's very specific, like.

00:40:13
Speaker 2: There you go to the bland flavor in your ear.

00:40:15
Speaker 3: So oh, and then there are there is a The warning is probably three times the size of the ingredients. Okay, okay, and it has things about redness, swelling, soreness, uh, discontinued consulted dentist uh, products containing peroxides. I'm not recommended for children under twelve years of age. Avoid swam, Okay, we'd get that. Avoid swallowing the cosmetic or part there. Avoid contact. Okay, I'm not putting it in my eyes. I'm not pregnant, I'm not nursing. And of course they say if you swallow a lot, contact poison Control center. I feel like that would probably have to be a lot.

00:40:49
Speaker 2: A lot more than this this little travel size.

00:40:53
Speaker 3: So and then okay, so I'm opening it and it's almost in like a little like the sample uh perfume. Yes, yes, yes, And I assume you just wow, this, I cannot imagine this product works pull It's like.

00:41:10
Speaker 2: Bridger a doubter. Do we have a doubter? O ye of little faith?

00:41:14
Speaker 3: Where did it? How did this come into your life?

00:41:16
Speaker 1: You know?

00:41:16
Speaker 2: I have been trying to figure that out for some time as I pack it in every bag. I just recently was like, where did I get this? It certainly came as like part of a package I think with either a toothpaste or a whitening gel. But I feel like, what's crazy is that I would think that the toothpaste and whitening gel would be of the same brand. So I like, actually can't place this because I'm like, I don't own any other Ghost Mile products. But I do remember it coming in and being in a as a sample and being like, oh, wonderful, I will use this, And then I thought, you know who could use it more? Bridger? Bridger, I think you could use this more than I could. And it's about paying it forward.

00:42:06
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, you have perfect teeth.

00:42:08
Speaker 2: Thank you so much. They're really there. I have notes on my teeth, but everyone has notes on everything about her. I'm You've got like, thank you, thank you so much. Well, I take my dental I take my dental hygiene pretty seriously.

00:42:22
Speaker 3: What's your dental routine?

00:42:24
Speaker 2: So I brush my teeth multiple times a day, which more than twice a day actually generally.

00:42:30
Speaker 3: Speaking manual or electronic manual.

00:42:32
Speaker 2: I can't get into an electric toothbrush can get it? Are you Are you into it? The learning curve was way higher. Are you like into it? Do you like it? Does it feel good?

00:42:41
Speaker 3: It feels okay? And I like that it it like has it has like a little timer. So uh, it does thirty seconds for one quadrant of your mouth and then it goes ding okay, And so it makes me do the really go for it?

00:42:54
Speaker 2: Do the two minutes? Yeah? Because you're like, I have thirty seconds? That would stress me out? That would I would be like, am I doing it right? And I get it everything done in this thirty seconds? And like, now do I have to start the toothbrush over and do another full two minutes? Because I feel like I didn't. So I I brush my teeth multiple times a day. I floss every single day. When I'm feeling lazy at night after night out, I will brush my teeth and not f lost, but like first thing in the morning, I'm like, you didn't lost last night? She got a floss.

00:43:19
Speaker 3: Wow.

00:43:20
Speaker 2: I don't joke about my dental hygiene, right, because I got braces when I was fourteen, and I had some peers at that time getting braces off and you saw the little like the white square where the.

00:43:33
Speaker 3: Brace was, the little ghosts.

00:43:35
Speaker 2: Yeah, the ghost This is what your teeth looked like before you got these braces, like the memory of teeth past exactly, and now you're and then the rest don't look great. And that's when I got really into dental hygiene because I was like, I don't want my teeth to look like that when I get my braces off. So, which might be vain, but I but it's also you learn how it was mistakes, yes, and I'm like, oh I don't And I wore my retainer for sixteen years. Oh my still travel with it. Because I had friends who got braces also, who got their braces taken off and then they didn't wear their retainers and then they're like, hey, I'm getting braces again. And I'm like, you had braces two years ago, and they're like, yeah, I didn't wear my retainer, so I have to get them again. And so I didn't want to be that person. So I learn my retainer for sixteen years.

00:44:17
Speaker 3: Let me ask you, do you have a permanent bottom retainer? This has been a topic.

00:44:21
Speaker 2: I do not do you?

00:44:22
Speaker 3: I did until I believe last year.

00:44:25
Speaker 2: Do I did you take it out?

00:44:26
Speaker 3: It was horrible flossing around? It was such a pain.

00:44:29
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.

00:44:29
Speaker 3: I also was like if I mean there was actually a little bit of like, wouldn't it be interesting for archaeologists to dig up a skeleton like five hundred years from now and there's like a weird thing attached to the teeth.

00:44:39
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think that's a permanent retainer. Oh yes, So wait, can I see your bottom row? Because everyone's bottom great, great, great row. You're like, everyone's bottom row is like super fucked up. But you got your permanent retainer out a year ago and they're fine, Well that's the thing. How long did you have it in?

00:44:58
Speaker 3: Like fifteen years or something?

00:44:59
Speaker 2: Yeah? I think it's the key, because I'm telling you I don't wear my retainer at night anymore as of like a year ago. Just got kind of lazy about it one day and realized that, like, I think it changed shape, right, I think maybe at one point when I was taking it out or like I accidentally, I don't know. I feel like I've like messed with the shape of it by accident, just my taking it out and in and the way I've been rough sometimes. And so it occurred to me last year. I was like, I don't know that I should be using this to like form my mouth at this point, because I have not had an a dental professional touch this thing in sixteen.

00:45:35
Speaker 3: Years a wet mouth yes or nice yes.

00:45:38
Speaker 2: And I was like, I don't think this is a good idea. I bet it'll actually fuck my teeth up at this juncture, because no one has because you used to go and get them like tightened or like a justice container. And I'm like, I haven't had that in sixteen years. I should probably stop wearing this thing. And I think my teeth aren't fucked up. Your teeth are not fucked up. I think fifty guys, you heard it here the contents, Yeah, ffteen years. If you were a retainer for fifteen years, just stop.

00:46:03
Speaker 3: It really is a thing where it's just like your body has it's just like you've got to figure it out.

00:46:07
Speaker 2: Yes, at this point, we're taking off the training where.

00:46:09
Speaker 3: The training wheels are coming home.

00:46:10
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:46:10
Speaker 3: If you can't do this on your own at this point, then maybe it's time to die.

00:46:14
Speaker 2: Yeah, die, lose all your teeth. Get him out of there, Just get him out of it. If you can't figure it out, get them out of there, and I'll punch you in the mouth to help. Yeah.

00:46:22
Speaker 3: I think I wore my like upper retainer probably for five years after having my braces removed, through like college or something, and I was like, well, I don't want to do this anymore. Yeah, but the permanent one was just this was it.

00:46:37
Speaker 2: When you started hooking up? Absolutely. Oh.

00:46:42
Speaker 3: I I'm as someone who came out when he was thirty. The hooking up did not start until much later.

00:46:48
Speaker 2: Okay, got it, got it fair enough?

00:46:49
Speaker 3: You know what I mean, which I understand is pretty clear.

00:46:52
Speaker 2: I understand, I understand. I'm picking up.

00:46:55
Speaker 3: The retainer was not getting in the way anything. I had plenty of room to just control.

00:47:02
Speaker 2: It's kind of a metaphor, though, I got a beautiful metaphor.

00:47:06
Speaker 3: The retainer came out, and then another ten years.

00:47:09
Speaker 2: And then and then another ten years, and then you did as well, And that's fine. I like it.

00:47:14
Speaker 3: I'm following my sexuality and dental history go hand in hand. A dentistry is an intimate thing. You've caught somebody in your mouth. So it all makes sense.

00:47:24
Speaker 2: I think it does it totally does. I feel like I stopped wearing mine because well, you know, I liked I I would I like to scare guy. I used to like to scare guys. And I wear my retainer and this is what I look like when I go to bad.

00:47:38
Speaker 3: I think that's a good thing.

00:47:39
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like that.

00:47:40
Speaker 3: You'll be dealing with you. Yeah, this is this is me.

00:47:42
Speaker 2: Baby. My retainer was also like a weird comfort to me though, too, where I just was like this thing that I do, and look how consistent I am. Yeah, I do miss it. It's it's on my bedside table right now. Oh yeah.

00:47:55
Speaker 3: And is it growing anything?

00:47:57
Speaker 2: It's not growing anything. It's not you know, I take a care of it. There's a weird thing that happened. Okay, hold on, I'm gonna do the math real fast. So if I wore it for like sixteen years consistently every single night, about I would say ten years into that, I accidentally one day took this is weird took them out when I woke up and I was like kind of in a daze and' tired. I think I took the bottom one out in like the middle of the night sleeping because it was like bothering me and I forgot I get up to make my bed, which I never do. So this is demonic that this even happened. I don't make my decide to make my bed. And I was like pulling the sheet and I was like, why I want it move? It was pulling my bottom retainer. It absolutely mangled my bottom retainer, and I had a melt down being like, oh no, and it's ten years at that point, It's like ten years into wearing it, and I'm like I should be fine, but I'm like, nope, gonna find an orthodontist to give me a new bottom retainer. So my bottom of my top don't match because the bottom one was ruined by the day I decided to make my bed, which is I don't make my bed anymore because the one time I trust, I mangled my retainer which was outside of my mouth for no clear reason and in the bed, and I went and had an orthodonist in Brentwood get me a new retainer made and so they don't match, and yeah, all of those things combined. I was like this, I have to stop worrying this. But I did buy it a new case months before I stopped. It's a pet on my bedside table. I got in a new case and it just lives in my lives on them. I'll never get rid of it.

00:49:36
Speaker 3: So when you say they don't match, is like the top one like one of the more old school ones. It's like the weird little like piece of plastic in the bottom, like them.

00:49:45
Speaker 2: Both of them are the weird metal plastic situation. Yes, mind you. The invisil line style retainers were out when I got my retainers, so they were a thing. They weren't as popular as now. I feel like everybody's got a visiline, but they were out when I got that, and I remember being like, why can't I get the clear one and my Orthodonos being like, this is the one for you. And now in retrospect, I'm like, did it were the clear ones more money? And was my mom not able to afford the crews? I don't. I don't know. I'm just having this realization right now.

00:50:17
Speaker 3: It feels like it. I mean that long ago in visil line was like a brand new thing, and they probably cost thousands and thousands.

00:50:23
Speaker 2: Way way more than your standard because I knew getting my braces at that time. It's like two thousand and two. When I got them, they were it was five thousand dollars and insurance did not cover. It is crazy. It's insane. Now I feel like it's like twelve dollars and insurance will cover.

00:50:41
Speaker 3: You can kind of breeze through them all.

00:50:44
Speaker 2: Exactly, I think you could. But anyway, I have the weird ones. So when I say they don't match, the top one is a blue fuck with sparkles. Oh, so you really got to go. I mean that's what people don't get to customize and exactly. And then the bottom was blue with sparkles. That's the one that got mangled. And so now the bottom is like a pink one with sparkles.

00:51:06
Speaker 3: So sparkles all the way.

00:51:07
Speaker 2: Yeah, sparkle queen. Because I thought, well, there was like a pink one that kind of looks like wants to look like actual, your actual gums, and I'm like, that's weird.

00:51:15
Speaker 3: This is like kind of the weird default.

00:51:17
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, And I feel like I picked the default with a lot of things in my life. But I was like, not with my retainer. That's where we draw the line. Let's customize and let's make it. Yeah, let's make it a party.

00:51:28
Speaker 3: It's like the night sky.

00:51:29
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.

00:51:30
Speaker 3: Just AnyWho, Well, okay, so I have my weird teeth bleacher thing, which also could be like a suicide pill in case I'm like trapped in enemy territory or something.

00:51:42
Speaker 2: I didn't anticipate you reading the ingredients or as Teresa Judice would say, ingredients is I didn't, says, God bless Teresa. I love it. I didn't anticipate that. But when you read them, I did get fearful. But I thought I'd put them on my teeth. I not ingesting it.

00:52:00
Speaker 3: I do wonder like I like this situation when someone's so panicked about the stain on their teeth that they have to have it instantly.

00:52:06
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. This is why I carried it around, and I'm like, I'll use a whitening gel with my toothpaste sometimes, right, So I just don't understand that, like, how do your teeth gets stayed exactly the situation? Yeah, that your teeth are like, oh shit, gotta get this stain off.

00:52:21
Speaker 3: You shouldn't have been all that tall.

00:52:23
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, oh no, go smile, go smile.

00:52:28
Speaker 3: Yeah, but yeah, I guess that happens to somebody, and it could happen to me. It could so now it's going to kind of sink to the bottom of my bag.

00:52:35
Speaker 2: Okay, you're leaning toward it. I'm giving it shoulder, which is everything we're getting the lean towards.

00:52:43
Speaker 3: That's my system of approval, disapproval right shoulders A No, they're thrown away as soon as possible. Left is it's happening.

00:52:51
Speaker 2: Happened.

00:52:51
Speaker 3: No, I mean that's actually kind of the opposite. Maybe I lean towards things I'm not going to use and lean away from things that I've been dared to use. Let's unpacked on my podcast.

00:53:00
Speaker 2: Do we have time back to that now?

00:53:03
Speaker 3: Okay, we've got to get into this final bag here, and this is cold sack made especially for caring frozen.

00:53:09
Speaker 2: To be mistaken for cold a sack.

00:53:12
Speaker 3: Oh interesting, our classic neighborhood.

00:53:14
Speaker 2: Architecture, little nook in the neighborhood.

00:53:16
Speaker 3: I love a cul de sac. What does that mean? It's obviously French.

00:53:21
Speaker 2: Cold as sack of sack of.

00:53:26
Speaker 3: So blank of and I feel like sack is close to sack cool cold.

00:53:34
Speaker 2: Dead end, dead end, dead end. Wow, well then why the fuck are people saying I live in a could a sac and it's a good thing. It's like, I live in a dead end?

00:53:44
Speaker 3: Well, because I'm sure, like nineteen sixty seven, they're like, we got to stop calling these things dead end, and no one also live on a dead end?

00:53:50
Speaker 2: What's dead end? Next time someone's like, oh yeah, this family, they're perfect white pick of man, it's called a sack, and like dead end. They live in a dead end out of a street, meaning people go there, get stuck. There's nowhere for you to go. There's no growing happening anyway, don't read that bag. I mean, Star came in the cold sack. The coal sack was the Arewan juice.

00:54:13
Speaker 3: Oh interesting, I got a.

00:54:15
Speaker 2: Bunch of Arowuan juices. Oh no, you spent forty dollars on juice. Genuinely was surprised. Put a bunch of juices in a cart on Uber eat and then when the price came, I was like, excuse. But then I was like, well I deserve it.

00:54:30
Speaker 3: You deserve it. And how often do you get to see a cold sack. Yeah, I love this bag, this packaging. Okay, let me open it up here. And this is such an easy thing easy. It's really getting in, reaching in, okay, feeling something that feels like, wow, this is incredible. This is customized. So it was Palmer's. Yeah, but no, that's when crossed out and it's I mean, let's say again, let's just put everything out on the table.

00:54:55
Speaker 2: Used as hell.

00:54:57
Speaker 3: I don't even know if there's anything in this bottle you crossed out. Palmers wrote bridges with a heart on the eye.

00:55:02
Speaker 2: Appreciate it.

00:55:03
Speaker 3: Yeah, you see it's cocoa butter.

00:55:05
Speaker 2: It is, it's Bridges cocoa butter.

00:55:07
Speaker 3: I mean, I wonder if I can even get any out here, Bridger.

00:55:10
Speaker 2: If you can't pump any out, you can certainly did you get some there we go quick?

00:55:14
Speaker 3: Yes, moisture size my knee?

00:55:16
Speaker 2: Okay? Can we hear him moisturized as mr? Oh? Whoa nasty. I don't usually do it like this.

00:55:26
Speaker 3: If you had some some lotion something doing this that as smells incredible. Putting get on my legs. Yes, I'm moisturizing in front of two different people. They're just looking at me moisturizing leg.

00:55:38
Speaker 2: And I'm delighted because I have thoughts.

00:55:40
Speaker 3: On this moisturize. Okay, I want to hear your thoughts.

00:55:43
Speaker 2: Because you have thoughts as well, don't you. I'm a huge advocate of a moisturize you are, okay. See, I didn't know I would. I didn't know your relation to it. I don't think people moisturize enough. I think it's crazy Black people do because we're like, we can't be ashy otherwise other black people will grill our asses, so we have to out of pure pressure. Also, it just like it looks better when we're moisturized. But white people, white people, you guys get away without moisturizing, or you get away with with skipping the moisture part of your routine. And you know, you can't see the ash with the plane people. Yeah, you can't see the ash with the plane eye. But you take a close look. You guys get ashy too. You know, if you clean it and really take a look, you guys get ashy too. And then want to be like we age so quickly, and it's like listen, yes, melanin is a thing that helps us not age as much. Black people, but also you could moisturize and really do yourself a favor. It's easy white people, and that's for white people, So Bridgers cocoa butter formula is for everyone. I think everyone should moisturize. I don't think people moisturize enough. It is remarkable to me how people are able to, Like I can't wash my hands and not moisturize after and the number of people who can and then go touch paper, Oh my hell, trying to product. I have lotion on me at all times. I have blistics on me at all times. So anyway, I just didn't know what your relationship was, and I was like, if Bridger doesn't moisturize, he's got to get into it. And I'm not going to give you a full new bottle because I didn't want to, because why would I do Why would I buy you a new bottle as a gift, not as a gift. It's got to be half used because it comes from love. And I used it so that you know that you too can use it, because if I gave it seems like rue, the one thing that's sealed and untested, the two things. Really you're kind of your reticent you're a little skeptical to use. However, I have used this cocoa butter, and look, it worked for me.

00:57:44
Speaker 3: We're already to discussedar glowings exactly.

00:57:46
Speaker 2: So I'm just saying, I mean, you saw me.

00:57:49
Speaker 3: I dived right in.

00:57:50
Speaker 2: You did.

00:57:50
Speaker 3: I was happy to use it because I had been used.

00:57:53
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:57:53
Speaker 3: That would have been a great trick though, if I had like started pumping it and then it was.

00:57:56
Speaker 2: Like live, it was there and it was get to get rid of your leg hair. Yeah. I I am such a proponent, and I'm in awe of how many people don't moisturize and then are like very invested in anti aging or in like oh my skin itches, and I'm like, hey, guys, it's just put some lotion on it. A work wonders.

00:58:18
Speaker 3: People will try anything to anti age outside of just moisture.

00:58:21
Speaker 2: Yes, of course they will do. They will go to the ends of the earth, they will deep medical procedures, all of the things. All but it's like so much in this one bottle. And yes there's a little bit. You were able to pump some out, and when you're not able to pump anymore, I guess what you do. There's still some at the bottom. You untwist the cap and you use the little thing in there.

00:58:41
Speaker 3: Talking about the excavating.

00:58:42
Speaker 2: Excavating, and then guess what, when you don't have any more lotion, you can't access any more lotion that way. You take scissors and you cut the bottle open, and you think you're talking to you're t this is my front.

00:58:54
Speaker 3: Well, you skipped one step, which is first you know, you take it out as the long, skinny pumpy. Yeah, then once that stopped working, I'm taking I'm slamming it against her.

00:59:03
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, Yes, you're slamming it again. How could I forget?

00:59:06
Speaker 3: You got to do that kind of you're so right.

00:59:07
Speaker 2: You have to slim it. Have the mark of the bottle on your hand, can be like, oh that kind of hurt. That was a little intense, but it's worth it. And then when that stops, we're cutting the bottle and you cut the bottle open. Absolutely, I'm going to get every cent worth of moisturizer out of this bottle for years. In terms of if that's the process for you, there's plenty of This is probably at least six weeks of moisturized Yes, this is a six week routine.

00:59:33
Speaker 3: I do think that part of the reason people don't moisturize is there's like this high pressure put on it, like that it's a complicated thing. I look, I've talked about a veno on this podcast.

00:59:42
Speaker 2: Oh you have? Are they sponsoring it?

00:59:44
Speaker 3: Absolutely not, And it's ridiculous.

00:59:48
Speaker 2: You should do more for you. Here's the thing, it's really not complicated. I've heard guys come like complain it just makes me feel stickier. I'm like, what are you talking about. There's there are levels to moisturizers.

00:59:59
Speaker 3: Putting Bath and Bodyworks or something.

01:00:01
Speaker 2: That's what it is anyway, cocoa butter. Also, you know, it's a strong scent. It does fade with time.

01:00:07
Speaker 3: But it's a good scent. It's like a good sense and okay again, God bless Bath and body Works. But I feel like they kind of dominated the scene during the nineties where everything was like this smells like apple, this smells like whatever, sour cherry or whatever, and they were also sticky. Hopefully they've learned their lessons.

01:00:23
Speaker 2: I think they might have.

01:00:24
Speaker 3: The rest of us have learned our lessons. A nice mild smell is fine, yes, yes, scentless.

01:00:32
Speaker 2: That fades with time fades with telling you're scentless because you love a vino.

01:00:36
Speaker 3: Is completely no scent, Yeah, no scent, no two. I mean just moisturizing freaks.

01:00:43
Speaker 2: But I am stunned I feel a connection with you because I really I thought this gift could go either way, we could. This is not the conversation I anticipated, But I'm glad it's the one we're having. I'm so glad because I don't it really it actually upsets me that people don't moisturize. And I know I've said that, but I just can't drop it. It actually genuinely is upsetting to me. I'm like, it works wonders on the skin, And honestly, I have like a whole routine I used to do. What was Jamara Taylor taught me this. She once tweeted something like maybe six years ago about her moisturizing routine, and it was that she it's like, you shower, then you do the in shower moisture like Ole and Nivia have great in shower moisturizers, and instead of rinsing off, which oftentimes they'll tell you to do, you actually just towel dry with that moisturizer on you. Oh. And then I still put on a veno right, but like the ezemma relief of veno, and I don't have ezema strength, yes, extra strength, extra moisture, and that's that's the whole process. Occasionally though, I would still put on like a third low she.

01:01:52
Speaker 3: That's all that is.

01:01:53
Speaker 2: Quite like I can't do during the summer months. I'm like a little too intense. But I that was my process until last summer. I did fall in the shower doing the showers. My leftie exactly. My left knee is absolutely fucked up. Well, here's the thing. You're not supposed to put it on your feet. One one day last year, in a pinch, I put the in shower moisture on my feet for the first time ever. I was like, I'm in a rush. I'm not even gonna be able to do the other steps, but I'll be moisturized. I'm going to this birthday party. Put it on my feet. I thought, Angel, you're going to clean the shower tomorrow, the shower floor tomorrow. Remember you put this on your feet. Don't remember. Next day I'm fine, I take a shower, I don't fall. The day after that, I'm rushing to get to work out a five am call time. It's early sleep deprived, rushing, rushing, absolutely fall in the shower like an old person. I don't know if that is ages of me to say, because clearly you don't have to be ultimate.

01:02:42
Speaker 3: Shower We age though.

01:02:43
Speaker 2: We do want to get a bar in the shower. Yes, we want something to hold on to. In my thirties and I want a bar in the shower.

01:02:50
Speaker 3: It would be great, would have changed.

01:02:53
Speaker 2: The game for me. My knee hurts to this day, but I have just injured my back, and so when I was falling, I had like a split second to be like I was like, not your back, not your back, not your back, not your back, and then not thinking like you can hurt anything else that I was like, you save the back, what's the worst.

01:03:09
Speaker 3: You're like, what other parts does the body have?

01:03:11
Speaker 2: Well, your knee can hurt, guys, and you're knee can hurt for over a year. And so I did fall in the shower in shower mooyster. I have not. I was traumatized after that. Have not used in shower moisture. It was totally my fault. You're not to use it on your feet and it was reckless it was a wet, reckless.

01:03:28
Speaker 3: But you needed your feet to be as moisturized as possible for that birthday.

01:03:32
Speaker 2: For that birthday party. I wasn't gonna be It wasn't gonna be at that party with ashy feet. Imagine the birthday girl would have been pissed.

01:03:40
Speaker 3: And you created America's slipperiest home.

01:03:42
Speaker 2: I did. I did. And there's a fall and a damage. Need to prove it. Yeah, so did you do?

01:03:48
Speaker 3: You have had? You had to go to a physical therapy, and I've.

01:03:51
Speaker 2: Done physical therapy. I get couching done, I have gotten an MRI to see if anything's wrong. It seems I have like a patilla tracking issue, but that is not apparently the that's not what It's not caused by that fall. So they're like, nothing is wrong structurally, But I'm like, I'm telling you, my knee hurts like hell. But I guess it's just the natural deterioration of the body, and you know it's been triggered by my my geriatric fall in the shower.

01:04:20
Speaker 3: These are those things that scare me about medical science, where it's like with back and knee stuff, where it's just like we kind of still don't quite know how to deal with that, So, yeah, might just have permanent pain.

01:04:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're just gonna have permanent pain. Occasionally I'll wear a knee brace. It's not cute with outfits. It doesn't. You've got to make it work. You're just exactly. I know. I should kind of get like a flesh tone knee brains. Oh you go, you get like a blue with sparkles. Oh yeah, Like.

01:04:47
Speaker 3: I think that a knee brace could absolutely be made to be kind of a cool. Do you remember when Nelly would wear a band aid on his face.

01:04:54
Speaker 2: Yes, a knee brace.

01:04:57
Speaker 3: Fashionable.

01:04:58
Speaker 2: I like that mini skirt and a knee brace.

01:05:00
Speaker 3: Just got to say, there's a trend I've got to create.

01:05:02
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm going to try this, and if it doesn't work for me, I get to come back and voice my concerns. Well, I see you at court.

01:05:09
Speaker 3: You will see each other in separate quote. Okay, okay, pleasure to just eventually be in court for the rest of my life.

01:05:14
Speaker 2: Do you want to be a judge? No, I just want to be a defendant. Or what's my profession? Your profession is defendant, and that's what it is.

01:05:27
Speaker 3: I've got a very busy life. Yeah, how what do you do for work? Well, this is great. I'm glad you came onto the podcast kind of imagining me as this ashy, mangled tooth freak and you're like, I'm going to try to turn this.

01:05:40
Speaker 2: I thought the theme of my gifts were self care, but after further discussion, it was everything was just an insult.

01:05:46
Speaker 3: The theme of your gifts was total tear down, like complete remodel.

01:05:51
Speaker 2: Imagine a backhanded ass gift. The three backhanded gifts. The first one's as back.

01:05:56
Speaker 3: The first one's more of an experiment you have to get into. But I think it's time to play a game.

01:06:01
Speaker 2: Okay, I down.

01:06:02
Speaker 3: I need a number between one and ten.

01:06:04
Speaker 2: I'm going to go what was I like, twelve seventy four four?

01:06:10
Speaker 3: Okay, I have to do some like calculating. You can recommend something, promote something, do whatever you want with the mic for a moment.

01:06:16
Speaker 2: Okay, Mike check one two one two guys follow me on. He'll probably ask me to do this at the end, but I'm doing it in the middle. That's cute. Follow me on Instagram at Eggie Boom. Follow me on Twitter at Eggie underscore Boom. I may post something fun. I may not post at all, but would love to have you. This has been really fun doing this podcast. I am a little sleep deprived, but Bridger has woken my ass up and I'm here for it. Also, catch me on Saturday Night Live sometimes in the fall. I'll be there coming up. What's coming up? When is the premiere? I can't say.

01:06:55
Speaker 3: I can't say it now within the year twenty twenty two two.

01:06:59
Speaker 2: I think it's the premiere. Date is out now. I don't know, but I don't want to say because I don't know if it's out.

01:07:04
Speaker 3: But we all know what occurs.

01:07:05
Speaker 2: By the time this comes out this your October, it'll be like it's gonna be a Saturday soon. By the time this is out, the season will have premiered. That's what I'll say.

01:07:18
Speaker 3: People have been screaming, this is all news. Yeah, this is what. We're gonna play a game called Gift to a Curse. Okay, this is how it works. I'm gonna name three things. You're gonna tell me if there are a gift or a curse and why okay, and then I will tell you if you're correct or not. There are correct answers. You can lose in an enormous way. And you have already kind of lost multiple times over the course of this podcast in other ways, so this could be kind of a redemption moment.

01:07:40
Speaker 2: Okay, I feel like it's not gonna.

01:07:42
Speaker 3: Be really solidify your failure again.

01:07:46
Speaker 2: Bury me, I get buried on this podcast.

01:07:48
Speaker 3: Okay, all right, and I think these are all listeners suggestions wonderful.

01:07:52
Speaker 2: Okay.

01:07:53
Speaker 3: This first one comes from someone named Madeline or Madeline you can go either way with and here we go with you.

01:07:58
Speaker 2: You tried to pronounce it though you were like Matt, I don't know, Maddie, Magican, Magian, I don't know, I don't know.

01:08:06
Speaker 3: Magiean has suggested reading a book after watching the movie based on the book Gift.

01:08:13
Speaker 2: For a Curse, reading the book after watching the movie based on the book Gift. I feel like movies are often worse than the books and books. It's like fun. You get to use your imagination, So gift reading it after.

01:08:28
Speaker 3: Reading it, after you get it right, Okay, it's I mean, the great thing is you. Okay, let's say you saw the less than great movie. Yeah, then you read the book. Suddenly half the work is already done for you, much less Imagining has to cast in your mind.

01:08:44
Speaker 2: Oh I hate that party imagining. Oh my god, imagining takes it out of.

01:08:51
Speaker 3: The simply kind of famously horrible.

01:08:53
Speaker 2: Just tell me what is it? Is she black? Don't tell me she's got core hair? Is she black?

01:09:02
Speaker 3: I need for Hollywood to make these decisions or me.

01:09:07
Speaker 2: No.

01:09:07
Speaker 3: I think it's absolutely a gift because then you get to you get like kind of the it's the movie's more the appetizer. You get like a condensed version of it, and then sudden you're getting this expanded version. And as I said before, if you're a lazy person, a little bit of the work is done.

01:09:20
Speaker 2: For you, and if you're not, you get to rewrite things you don't like.

01:09:23
Speaker 3: Exactly You're like, now I'm going to perfect that pile of garbage.

01:09:26
Speaker 2: I yes, correct, And that's exactly right. It's often a pile of garbage.

01:09:31
Speaker 3: And we all know that after we watch a movie we hated, we like, I got to read the book.

01:09:35
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have to fix this. Something's got to be done. Okay, so you got the first one, right, very good. Okay, the surprise this game is treacherous. Let's just be honest. The next person Dapney has written in gift to a curse French tip pedicures. Oh so not a manicure. I know. I was like, Okay, pedicure, I'm gonna say that's a curse. And why I think that's a curse because I'm all for the French This is funny because I was thinking about this last week. No, I'm all for the French tip manicure coming back. I think, Okay, looks clean, nice, everyone's getting married whatever. But the pedicure feels like, okay, girl, get a personality, like get like you can do something to your toes, like a more solid color like doing the French tip petticure feels like you're trying to make your finger your toenails look like fingernails, and it's like their toe but their toenails. Let's let toenails be toenails. That Yeah, so that's my thought. What what's the answer?

01:10:43
Speaker 3: You're wrong a gift?

01:10:45
Speaker 2: I mean I could see it in your fucking eyes. I'm sorry, it's a curse. I'm sorry. I'm going to the professor's office of banging on the door saying give me my point for that, because.

01:10:57
Speaker 3: You're not going to absolute feet into these kind of giant, monstrous hands that look like it's a curse. We love how that looks. It's kind of a spooky thing. It's like this strange transformation. What do you have against matching, Well.

01:11:15
Speaker 2: I'm not anti matching. Well, here's the thing. I'm not anti matching. Damn it.

01:11:24
Speaker 3: We talked about less hour.

01:11:27
Speaker 2: Like no, no, but well it's just I don't there. They've they've always been for manicures, pedicures. It feels like a twisted thing. Someone thought, oh not on my feet, and why not because they're not fingernails like I don't we we don't know. I rejected, and I rebuke it in the name that's my That's why I said, Okay, fine, I got it wrong.

01:11:49
Speaker 3: I'm speaking from a place of authority of someone who's never had them, like.

01:11:52
Speaker 2: A pastor, just telling telling me, okay, go ahead, it's fine.

01:11:58
Speaker 3: You know, we've got to say that that's an absolute gift, and I think everyone agrees.

01:12:03
Speaker 2: I don't think, so sound off in the comments. I'm sorry, I reject.

01:12:08
Speaker 3: Okay, So we've gotten one out of two so far. We've got one last chance for you to get one right. Let's see Ashley wrote in gift or a curse. Proposal on the JumboTron at a major sporting event.

01:12:22
Speaker 2: Proposal on the jumbo tron at a major sporting event. Curse. It's a curse because I think proposals, first of all, should be intimate. The jumbo tron that is so that is the antithesis of intimate, that is in front of strangers in the stadium, the staff, as well as the viewers at home, and you might get a know. First of all, it puts a lot of pressure on the person being proposed to to say yes. They don't really have agency in that moment. Sure you do in theory if you're a superhero, but the reality is like you'd feel really bad saying no to someone on the jumbo tron while people are watching at home. Family members are probably why home if they're not hiding away in the stadium in various seats. Stranger. Yeah, absolute curse inappropriate Also a sporting event. Nothing romantic. I mean, like, even if you like sports, I feel like that's just not romantic. That's my stance. Curse. Oh, I go oh no, hate to hear it.

01:13:18
Speaker 3: It's a gift. Anything that's a gift.

01:13:21
Speaker 2: I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm so sick.

01:13:26
Speaker 3: Every major life event should happen on a Jumbo trn.

01:13:29
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, this podcast is sick. The listeners are sick. The host is absolutely sick. I mean, the test is rigged. We need to again, I need people to sound off in the comments. Absolutely.

01:13:47
Speaker 3: Look, everything you just said is exactly why it's a gift. The risk, the chance of someone saying no on the jumbo Tron is a thrill for the entire audience. These stakes have never been higher. It's such I mean, it's bringing the spotlight onto yourself in the most annoying way possible. It's really just getting in there and making it all about you.

01:14:08
Speaker 2: Send it to hell, Send it straight to hell. I rebuke and refuse in the name and I you know, I'm banging on the professor's store again, and I'm going, you know what, fuck your class anyway. I'm not going to use this degree. I'm not using this degree. No one's ever going to ask you if things are a gift or a curse again, and it'll be and if they should, it'll be absolutely subjective, and I'll be allowed to have my opinion on it, so that's fine. I have not redemped myself. So how did the cancelation works?

01:14:37
Speaker 3: The cancelation of someone who got one out of three should have been on a jumbo tron just now thirty three?

01:14:45
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, Oh my goodness. I'm not dressed for the jumbo tron. I've ever been on a jumbo tron. I have been on the jummal. What was the occasion? It was the was a proposal. No, it was not a proposal. Gosh, that would stress me out. No. It was the Knicks game first season at SNL, I believe, yes, And I was seated with Leslie Jones and they did our thirsty cops a little like these two and then look at the That was the one time I think I've been on it.

01:15:13
Speaker 3: Did you get self conscious?

01:15:14
Speaker 2: I was more just like he he crazy, But I was like that, just it's weird.

01:15:20
Speaker 3: I just never have understood understood where the cameras are for the JumboTron.

01:15:24
Speaker 2: I know, and that's the thing about it, curse, I'm you don't know. It's surveillance state. I'm just saying, no, nothing is private. The NSSA watching everything at the jumbotrons are are manned by the NSSA.

01:15:36
Speaker 3: That's kind of I mean, they're right there, the big NSA logo. It's disguised. Usually it's next to NBA.

01:15:42
Speaker 2: Ye, you don't know. It's actually an essay. That's the thing. National Surveillance Association. Yeah.

01:15:52
Speaker 3: Well, you know, I hate to say a loss. I hate to see a loss. But what are you going to do?

01:15:57
Speaker 2: Bringy three gifts and you bury me, you cancel me on your podcast.

01:16:01
Speaker 3: You have one final chance of redemption. This is called I said no emails people right into I said no gifts at gmail dot com. These people, look, I've said it before and I'll say it again. They have a lot of issues. They're desperate, they're clawing, they're kind of rabid, you know, just panicking. They need some help in their lives. Would you help me answer a question?

01:16:22
Speaker 2: Sure?

01:16:23
Speaker 3: Okay, let's read this. This is high bridger and in parentheses undoubtedly sexy disrespectful guests. So there's some light sexual harassments. They know me though, that sambo. We're going to power through the sexual harassment. Okay, I need your wisdom desperately. I recently started dating a new partner who was extraordinarily successful in parentheses. Makes makes fifteen times my salary, and I make a decent living in New York City. Okay, it's interesting.

01:16:52
Speaker 2: This is an interesting a calculator and be like, what's the number? I know I'm gonna do it as Sorry, I'm so intrigued.

01:16:59
Speaker 3: I've never reached for a credit card the entire time we've dated because the wealth disparity is so extreme. But I try to do little things like making the bed every day, taking care of him, etc. To show him I love him and appreciate what he does for me. However, I need help with giving him a thank you gift because he just took me on a fabulous, all expenses pay trip to the French Riviera. The little day to day acts of service and physical touch are not going to cut it as an expression of gratitude. So I'm hoping you can help me think of a way to say thank you for this wonderful trip in a way that won't deplete my bank account. He loves golf, learning slash history and EDM music, love the podcast, and please please help me. And that's just from the letter. L So let's just be very clear up front. She's dating somebody in crypto.

01:17:45
Speaker 2: Absolutely a financier, a crypto financier.

01:17:49
Speaker 3: I mean, I wow, you just calculating.

01:17:53
Speaker 2: I did some calculator your testament? All right, So I did a couple of salaries here. I realized one was maybe a little too potentially too. Okay, Ell, if you if L makes forty thousand dollars a year, this partner makes six hundred thousand dollars a year, right, if LL makes say sixty, well, Elle said, I make a.

01:18:11
Speaker 3: Decent Ye should be clear up front, A decent living in New York City is different from pretty much everywhere on the plane.

01:18:16
Speaker 2: Yes, so actually you know what I'm gonna do. I'm going to do. I'll do one more and then I'll do a number. I think maybe LL means my decent livingcause.

01:18:22
Speaker 3: You don't say you make a decent living in New York unless you're making a lot of money.

01:18:26
Speaker 2: Yes, Okay, So I'll say L makes seventy five k okay times fifteen, her partner makes one point one two five million dollars. Okay, Okay, if LL makes one hundred thousand a year, the six figures, let's give L that up. Okay, her partner makes one point. Well, I did not need to calculate that just anyway. Partner makes one point five million dollars.

01:18:53
Speaker 3: And I think you're still being conservative.

01:18:55
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, you want to go hand.

01:18:57
Speaker 3: Because because living to say, oh, I feel like life is decent in New York, that city will drain every.

01:19:03
Speaker 2: Since what it have cost you to tell us your salary. Oh my gosh. Okay, if El one, I feel like that's a lot of money. That's a lot. If El makes one thirty a year, her partner makes one point nine to five million a year.

01:19:19
Speaker 3: Okay, so okay, we're just in the money.

01:19:22
Speaker 2: I have to thank this partner. Here's my thought on this, because I've been delving deeply in the last few weeks into love languages, and you know, you really have to understand his love language. So if you're saying these acts of service and uh, what was the other thing?

01:19:37
Speaker 3: Physical touch?

01:19:38
Speaker 2: Physical touch and acts of service are not going to cut it. It's funny. I have a partner who for whom those are like the shit to him, and for me I might think like, yeah, this isn't going to cut it, physical touch and acts of service, but they might I just want to start by saying they actually might. I think you need to go what are your love languages? I want to show you. I am so appreciative for all you've done, for that trip to the French Riviera had to blast What would you say your love languages are? And if you're anything like me, he might say I don't know, and then you make him take the test. Right, So again, I don't want Elle to walk around thinking the physical touch and the act of service aren't cutting it, because they might be. That said, if you want to do a thing that costs money because it will make you feel a little more at ease, right, because this person has spent a lot of money on you, I don't know. Yeah, like ed M, I don't know. Find an DM concert, I don't know what like I want to be like festival concert.

01:20:34
Speaker 3: Is there any crossover between EDM and like historical reenactments?

01:20:38
Speaker 2: I'm sure everything exists. Like that's first of all, anything you can conceive exists somewhere, and that might be a sub Yeah, I think that that could what what was the historical reenactment? Take him to Gettysburg, I don't know, Pennsylvania. The ride like a car a car ride where you have this amazing ed M playlist, and you drive this partner to Gettysburg where you guys go to do one of those reenactment things or and then and and with a round of golf on the.

01:21:11
Speaker 3: Greens in the premous Gettysburg golf.

01:21:14
Speaker 2: Of course, you know that, you know the one. I have a connection there. If you want call, I'm a manager there. I'm actually moonlight as a manager there. I'm like a nice little trip or even like a staycation for you to granted, like a New York hotel is probably not nicer.

01:21:32
Speaker 3: Than whatever this person's place I'm.

01:21:35
Speaker 2: Saying it is a guy, right, I feel bad.

01:21:38
Speaker 3: I think she referred to him as yeah.

01:21:41
Speaker 2: Great, great, great great, So like I think it might not be as nice as his apartment. But also maybe something like a massage, a private massage, a massage therapist comes.

01:21:51
Speaker 3: To rest as George Washington exactly and again another business.

01:21:57
Speaker 2: I'm just so I would say, think a little more out side of the box. And it also does not have to be some grand gesture in my opinion, because like it's sort of the what do you get a man who has everything kind of situation right exactly where I'm like, it's actually the thought that counts. Anyone who has everything, I feel like they're always like it's the thought that counts. So if you put some thought, even if there's steps to your night where you're like, I've planned a date for us, the date has these steps. Again, I'm going to play this EDM playlist. We're driving to Gettysburg. Again. I'm just saying, this is a really good idea.

01:22:29
Speaker 3: I think it's great to after like nine hours of DM.

01:22:33
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just saying, so, yeah, I think we gave you a great idea, ll and just put some thought and a little thought into it, a little outside of the box. Google historical reenactments in New York.

01:22:45
Speaker 3: I don't I think it's perfect. I mean, l I don't want to look. If I zoo, i'd make the bed every once in a while and just ride that my salary, take me out to dinner.

01:22:55
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, that doesn't matter.

01:22:58
Speaker 3: I'm putting up with you.

01:22:59
Speaker 2: Yes, exactly. He can't be perfect, that's the thing about it.

01:23:03
Speaker 3: No, I mean, most crypto billionaires, as we know, are pretty pleasant.

01:23:07
Speaker 2: Okay, your opinion? Can I say wrong? Answer? Because That's what I'm thinking.

01:23:14
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is the founder of board Apes, or something.

01:23:20
Speaker 2: I love this for l by the way, I know, I'm.

01:23:22
Speaker 3: Just enjoy it. I'll go on the trips.

01:23:24
Speaker 2: Yes, don't trust yourself.

01:23:27
Speaker 3: It seems like things are going fine. Don't rock the boat. Yeah yeah, just write this thing till the very end. Get some nice clothes. And I mean, I'm just speaking for myself here, but I feel like Elle has gotten some good information. I think so tips galore.

01:23:45
Speaker 2: Great tips. I've redeemed myself personally in a perfect way coming off this sparkling. I know, don't spark I'll wear it tonight, old time all times, just to say I did.

01:24:01
Speaker 3: Oh, I've had such a wonderful time with you here.

01:24:04
Speaker 2: Oh, thank you.

01:24:05
Speaker 3: I know, have time this array of products to improve and maintain and maybe rescue you if my tea, if I somehow drink.

01:24:15
Speaker 2: Ink and immediately need.

01:24:19
Speaker 3: Oh I shouldn't have done that before my job interfe exactly. Oh, thank you for being.

01:24:26
Speaker 2: Here, Thank you for having me. It's been so fun.

01:24:29
Speaker 3: And listener the end of the podcast. So it's over. You've got to do something else with your day, or you know, as you have on occasion, I imagine just started listening over and kind of an endless loop. You can do that as well. Do whatever you want. We'll be back here next week. I love you, goodbye, I said, No Gifts is an exactly right production. It's produced by our dear friend Analise Nelson's beautifully mixed by John Bradley, and we couldn't do it without our guest booker, Patrick Kottner. The theme song, of course, could only come from miracle worker Amy Man. You must follow the show on Instagram at I said no Gifts, I don't want to hear any excuses. That's where you get to see pictures of all these gorgeous gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see pictures of the gifts?

01:25:24
Speaker 2: Well, I invit?

01:25:25
Speaker 1: Did you hear? Funna made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest to me, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no, guests, your presences presence enough and I'm already too much stuff, So how do you dare to survey me