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Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Beka, Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio

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Speaker 1: and two time People's Choice Award winning podcast.

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Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we're scrubbing in. It's another Monday that I

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Speaker 2: get to stare into Tanya's beautiful face. But first I

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Speaker 2: need to wish a happy birthday to the man, the myth,

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Speaker 2: the legend, our heart and soul of the podcast, Mark Mullinsky.

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Speaker 2: That's great, it is Mulnitsky. Well you're marked us.

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Speaker 3: Thank you. That's very sweet. If you're back up.

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Speaker 4: This very nice and a lot of love from the

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Speaker 4: scrubbing and Facebook group today.

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Speaker 3: It's all very sweet.

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Speaker 4: In the shout out to Giannafusco, who also has a

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Speaker 4: birthday today, shout.

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Speaker 5: True Scrubber, Happy birthday. Mark, truly you are. I texted

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Speaker 5: him last night at like nine because I like, I'm

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Speaker 5: cheesy like that, I'm like, it's mid night somewhere, like

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Speaker 5: I just wanted to say happy birthday and that you

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Speaker 5: always like through it because now I realize I've known

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Speaker 5: you for almost ten years.

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Speaker 4: Well right, because I'm forty nine today and Tanya was

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Speaker 4: there for my fortieth birthday at Seacrest and she put

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Speaker 4: up signs all over saying happy thirtieth birthday.

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Speaker 3: Mark. It's kind of a joke.

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Speaker 4: We had something and I remember Ryan going, you're thirty forty,

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Speaker 4: and he's like, yeah, that's that's a bit more.

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Speaker 5: Like it sounds about right.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: But I was like, this whole time, you've kept my

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Speaker 5: faith in men alive, just because like you've always been

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Speaker 5: this like I don't know what the word, like this

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Speaker 5: like statue, this pillar of just like you love your wife,

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Speaker 5: you love your family, you're a good man like and

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Speaker 5: I've dated quite the opposite, and so I've always had

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Speaker 5: you in like a daily capacity to show me that

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Speaker 5: and in LA, you know, like in this industry. So

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Speaker 5: it's been really nice.

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Speaker 3: Well that's very sweet, Tanya, thank you.

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Speaker 4: And I have a story about how Tanya thinks I'm

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Speaker 4: super super old.

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Speaker 3: Oh why why We were in the JFK airport.

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Speaker 4: It was me and Tanya and Patti Rodriguez and we

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Speaker 4: were walking through the airport and I made a comment.

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Speaker 4: I said, this was earlier this year we went out

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Speaker 4: to New York for Ryan's Hall of Fame induction. All Right,

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Speaker 4: I said, wait a second. We landed at Gate forty two.

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Speaker 4: We left LA from Gate forty two, and now we're

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Speaker 4: leaving New York again from gate forty two. That's three

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Speaker 4: straight flights that all left from gate forty two. And

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Speaker 4: Tanya says, and aren't you forty two? And I said no,

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Speaker 4: I'm forty eight, and she said, holy balls, no, But

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Speaker 4: that was.

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Speaker 2: More of a compliment. That's about how you take that,

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Speaker 2: because she was basically saying, there I took it. No. No.

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Speaker 2: I think it was more like, wow, I thought you

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Speaker 2: were forty two. That's six years younger than you actually are.

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Speaker 2: That's shocking, thank you. I was just like, I guess

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Speaker 2: I forgot. I mean, time flies, you know.

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Speaker 3: Time does fly. That is true, but.

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Speaker 2: In her brain, she was like, two years ago, I

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Speaker 2: decorated for your birthday. The math doesn't add up, doesn't

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Speaker 2: add up. Well, happy birthday, Mark, And we so appreciate

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Speaker 2: you on this podcast, and I know feel the same way.

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Speaker 2: So it's true, not Easton, but everyone else.

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Speaker 6: I actually can't stand you, Mark.

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Speaker 3: I really know.

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Speaker 2: There's a very intense tension. I know y'all don't feel

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Speaker 2: it because they're good actors, but I'm just kidding.

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Speaker 5: Oh wait, okay, I actually wanted to tell you guys

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Speaker 5: about this because I saw it yesterday. I went to

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Speaker 5: the beach for the first time during this quarantine, which

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Speaker 5: is like beyond me. I know, like why have I

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Speaker 5: But I guess I realized they were shut down for

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Speaker 5: a while.

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Speaker 2: But they've been I mean I've been multiple times.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, oh well, that's my bad. Like truly, I just

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Speaker 5: don't know why I haven't gone to the beach because

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Speaker 5: it was really quite refreshing because we're out in the open,

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Speaker 5: people were you know, respected, like we had like a

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Speaker 5: nice little bubble around us. But we were there and

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Speaker 5: we saw this couple that were like social distancing on

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Speaker 5: this big blanket together, and so you know, like me,

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Speaker 5: I'm like the town snoop, And I was just like,

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Speaker 5: what do you think's going on over there? Because they

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Speaker 5: were like social distanced. The guy had a mask on

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Speaker 5: for a while, but they were clearly there together. So

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Speaker 5: we were like really trying to hypothesize like what was

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Speaker 5: going on, and then we came down to the conclusion

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Speaker 5: that it was a first date. Oh, and they wanted

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Speaker 5: to meet like at a beach where it was like

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Speaker 5: open and they could social distance. And I thought, I

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Speaker 5: was like, what a great idea to like do this

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Speaker 5: on a first date because people are on dating apps

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Speaker 5: and they don't know what to do because they don't

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Speaker 5: want to like stop the pursuit, but they also feel

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Speaker 5: like they don't want to go to a restaurant. You

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Speaker 5: can't really do what you've been normally doing while you date.

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Speaker 5: I thought that was a really great idea. And I

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Speaker 5: know a lot of scrubbers are like trying to do

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Speaker 5: the dating apps, like don't know how to do it,

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Speaker 5: and I feel like that's a really great way.

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Speaker 2: What if you're in the Midwest and you don't have

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Speaker 2: the access to a park park, perhaps, yeah, but it's

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Speaker 2: really hot, you know, Like I in my mind, I'm thinking, Okay,

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Speaker 2: it's so hot, right, even in La it's really hot.

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Speaker 2: I don't even know what it's like in the South.

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Speaker 2: I can't even imagine, but it's hot. So you don't

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Speaker 2: really want to meet someone while you're just like drenched

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Speaker 2: with like a sweatstash, you know.

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Speaker 5: Redstar was like, I don't know if people would be

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Speaker 5: down to like meet for the first time in a

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Speaker 5: bathing suit.

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Speaker 2: Well that too, but you would also you cover up.

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Speaker 2: I had a horrible tender date on a beach one day.

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Speaker 2: I don't remember why it was so bad, but it

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Speaker 2: was not great, Like it was a one and done.

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Speaker 2: And then I went on the Bachelor. It was like,

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Speaker 2: remember why it was so bad? We just had nothing

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Speaker 2: in common, so like the conversation was so obviously forced

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Speaker 2: from both of us. And then he wanted to do

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Speaker 2: He was like body surfing, and I'm a We'll get

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Speaker 2: to this in a second. I'm not a strong swimmer,

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Speaker 2: so like rough water, I'm not gonna thrive or like

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Speaker 2: be able to show off. I just skills abilities, yes,

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Speaker 2: And so he wanted to body surf in the waves,

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Speaker 2: and so I tried in a wave, hit me my top,

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Speaker 2: like you know, it was just like nothing about it

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Speaker 2: went was like cute the whole day. On my part,

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Speaker 2: I felt like we never I never heard from him,

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Speaker 2: he never heard from me. It was just we understood

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Speaker 2: the mutual an interest. I'm just interesting.

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Speaker 5: I'm trying to think of creative ways to help people

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Speaker 5: continue their pursuit because I'm trying to like put myself

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Speaker 5: no serious, I'm trying to put myself in the shoes

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Speaker 5: of like if I were single right now, I feel

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Speaker 5: like I would find a way to still be dating.

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Speaker 2: Okay, but here's the thing. When I started my relationship,

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Speaker 2: we were a long distance and we started pretty much

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Speaker 2: on FaceTime and phone calls. Like we hung out a

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Speaker 2: few times before, but the beginning of the relationship was

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Speaker 2: mostly over FaceTime and it helped us. There were a

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Speaker 2: lot of fights because and like TIFFs and arguments because

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Speaker 2: we wanted to be together and couldn't, but we learned

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Speaker 2: so much about each other. So I know it's easier

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Speaker 2: said than done, but like I would take advantage of

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Speaker 2: having to do a lot virtually and then you know,

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Speaker 2: when you meet up, you quickly know if the chemistry

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Speaker 2: that was happening virtually is there in person too.

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Speaker 5: But I also think it's a little different right now

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Speaker 5: because it's like we don't know when this is ending,

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Speaker 5: do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 2: It's dark. Listen, we in LA we have I think

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Speaker 2: the order on backwards. We're not going forwards. We have

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Speaker 2: shut down again, right we have regressed?

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Speaker 5: Is it regressed?

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Speaker 4: As of today? We are pretty much shut down. We

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Speaker 4: are re shut down. I think restaurants, barbershops, a little windows,

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Speaker 4: indoor services, yes, outdoors.

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Speaker 5: I think it's okay.

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Speaker 2: I went to that. So the first thing I this

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Speaker 2: is the first time I I Okay, a couple of

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Speaker 2: weeks ago, I went to Target. That was my first

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Speaker 2: actual outing that I went into the general public. I

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Speaker 2: was so uncomfortable and ready to get out and get home,

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Speaker 2: like I hated him. And there were people wearing masks

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Speaker 2: like under their chin and like with their nose out,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh, and a lot of grocery stores

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Speaker 2: have been really on top of it, like letting a

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Speaker 2: certain amountain. But I went to Target and it's kind

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Speaker 2: of like just everyone's going in and out, and so

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Speaker 2: I was really stressed out and anxious to get home.

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Speaker 2: And then that was like three weeks ago. And then

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Speaker 2: last week I went and got my hair done in

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Speaker 2: the salon because they opened and it was like a

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Speaker 2: whole thing. It was like you walk in, they have

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Speaker 2: like a ring doorbell so they can see who it is.

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Speaker 2: They come down. First of all, you have to confirm

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Speaker 2: like that you haven't had any symptoms all this stuff.

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Speaker 2: They take your temperature, They wait till like your stylust

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Speaker 2: is ready, so that there's no one else in the seat.

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Speaker 2: You go up. I had to wear a mask. That

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Speaker 2: was the longest I've worn a mask, and I'll be honest.

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Speaker 2: Was it the most comfortable, No, it was hot. The

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Speaker 2: blow dryer made it hot. But like I did it,

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Speaker 2: and everyone can, you know, most people can do it,

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Speaker 2: but yeah, that was my first time. Being it's just weird.

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Speaker 2: It's like not a natural setting.

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Speaker 5: Oh And I like personally, when I see people walk

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Speaker 5: by me with their mask like around their chin, I'm like,

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Speaker 5: what are you doing?

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Speaker 2: Well at that point, it's like why, Well, to.

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Speaker 5: Be fair, when I go on my runs, I if

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Speaker 5: I'm around people, like, if I'm going to run by people,

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Speaker 5: I'll pull my mask up over my nose and my face.

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Speaker 5: But if I'm just running around and I'm by myself,

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Speaker 5: I'll pull it under my chin.

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Speaker 2: Oh so you have one on? Yeah, yeah, I see

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Speaker 2: people running with them fully on.

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Speaker 7: I keep seeing is people go into like a restaurant

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Speaker 7: or something to order something. They walk in with the

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Speaker 7: mask and then they walk up to the counter and

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Speaker 7: pull it down to order.

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Speaker 6: So they can hear you. My man, that's the one

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Speaker 6: time you need it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: I just like it's so it's it's so wild, Like

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Speaker 5: I feel like it's just and I truly believe like

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Speaker 5: I feel like and I see it more like in

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Speaker 5: my my like circle of friends, people are starting to crack.

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Speaker 2: Like fully fully crack like mentally, Yeah, because.

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Speaker 5: I think I had in the beginning, I had a

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Speaker 5: really tough time, and then I think I've kind of

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Speaker 5: found my groove and I've been okay, I think, I mean,

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Speaker 5: there are times where I get a little bit dark

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Speaker 5: and then I can pull myself out. But I feel

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Speaker 5: like my friends who were okay in the beginning are

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Speaker 5: now starting to like really really really have a hard time,

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Speaker 5: and it's not good.

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Speaker 2: So wait, are they closing down restaurants that have outdoor seating?

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Speaker 3: No, I think outdoors Okay, Okay, that's good.

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Speaker 2: I just I it's it's such a tough situation because

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Speaker 2: you know, I want these busy businesses to thrive and

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Speaker 2: have success and still be able to run and operate

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Speaker 2: in these people to have jobs, but you know, also

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Speaker 2: making sure that we're going like participating to get things

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Speaker 2: back to normal.

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Speaker 3: Gyms are closing again, Tanya, I have an.

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Speaker 5: Announcement to make everybody, oh what, After weeks and weeks

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Speaker 5: of walking to my gym and wanting to go in

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Speaker 5: and not being able to do it, I finally quit

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Speaker 5: the gym.

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Speaker 2: How was it? How did it feel?

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Speaker 5: I was like Ross Gaeller, like I couldn't do it,

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Speaker 5: Like I would call and then I or was it

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Speaker 5: Chandler that was Ross?

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Speaker 2: Maybe it's both of them.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, ye yeah, but I like could not do it,

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Speaker 5: like I would call to quit it, and then I

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Speaker 5: would end up being like so like can we bring

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Speaker 5: a friend still with the same pol Like I just

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Speaker 5: couldn't do it for some reason. And then finally I

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Speaker 5: did it, and I had to walk in and like

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Speaker 5: sign a piece of paper and you have to say,

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Speaker 5: like why you're quitting, and I just wrote like Corona, Corona.

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Speaker 2: It's hard to argue that one. I mean, yeah, I

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Speaker 2: mean I paid for Orange Theory for however long because

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Speaker 2: I was supposed to go in and quit in person,

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Speaker 2: and I just I felt shame.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, it's hard. It's really hard. And I also feel

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Speaker 5: bad because it's my gym. Isn't like a big nation.

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Speaker 5: It's a small community gym, so I'm like, it's a

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Speaker 5: small business. I don't want to like, you know, I

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Speaker 5: want to help them, but I'm also not using it,

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Speaker 5: so I'm like what am.

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Speaker 2: I I know? Yeah, I sold my peloton to Ali.

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Speaker 3: Oh those are like gold right now.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I thought the same thing. Mark. I was like,

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna this is perfect. I'm gonna use this because

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Speaker 2: gyms aren't going to be open and this is gonna

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Speaker 2: be my outlet. And then it just sat there forever

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Speaker 2: and Ali came over one day and was like, do

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Speaker 2: you use this? And I was like no, and she goes,

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Speaker 2: can I buy it from you? And so we negotiated

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Speaker 2: a price. I was like, cool, that helps me more

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Speaker 2: because you're not using it. I'm not using it and

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Speaker 2: I'm actually paying for personal training workouts every week, so

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Speaker 2: I'm just putting that money towards that.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, it's it's it's it's hard to really find

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Speaker 2: like the hope right now because now we're like going

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Speaker 2: back to phase one or whatever. But it's fine. I

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Speaker 2: feel like as long as I have the beach option

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Speaker 2: able to go outside and go on walks. Hailey's Sprint

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Speaker 2: had a pool that she let us use this weekend, and.

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Speaker 5: It was I saw a game changer.

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Speaker 2: All I've wanted was a pool.

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Speaker 5: I need a pool, which.

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Speaker 2: I know sounds dumb because we have the beach and

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Speaker 2: we're so lucky, but all I wanted was to be

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Speaker 2: in like the backyard, jump into a cold pool layout

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Speaker 2: and a floaty.

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Speaker 3: A pool is different.

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Speaker 4: The beach is crowded, there's people, there's parking, there's a

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Speaker 4: lot of interaction with the beach. A pool is ideal

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Speaker 4: if you can figure it out. Wait, we gotta. We're

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Speaker 4: one of those people, like millions across America apparently, who

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Speaker 4: have bought an above ground for the backyard just have

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Speaker 4: something for their kids to do all summer.

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Speaker 3: Got that all set up back there and it's been great.

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Speaker 2: That's so nice. You're so lucky to have a backyard. Yeah, agreed, careal, Yes, No,

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Speaker 2: it's it's it is. It's so different. And I know, yeah,

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Speaker 2: it was yesterday. I just had the I had one

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Speaker 2: of those days I haven't had in a really long

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Speaker 2: time where I was like, I just don't want it

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Speaker 2: to end because it was such a great day, you know,

295
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Speaker 2: like laid by the pool, played games, it was just great,

296
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Speaker 2: ate a lot of food. Yeah.

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Speaker 5: I kind of feel like I'm on the upswing too

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Speaker 5: in terms of things, So I feel like and I

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Speaker 5: didn't see these crypt I didn't see these messages in

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Speaker 5: the Facebook group. Becca told me about these, but about

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Speaker 5: how we've been kind of cryptic lately, and so for me,

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Speaker 5: you guys know, like I'm an open book and it's

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Speaker 5: actually harder for me not to share things, Like.

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Speaker 2: It is hard. It's hard. It's hard for me too,

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00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:53,000
Speaker 2: it's harder not to share, but I'm sure even more

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Speaker 2: so for you.

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Speaker 4: And I don't like it, like I like, like, you

308
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Speaker 4: know what I mean, kinda shares everything. She was going

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Speaker 4: on a long die traping butter period crams before we

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Speaker 4: started the show today.

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Speaker 2: Well we'll get to that.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't want to get I want let's get

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Speaker 5: back to that because ah, yeah, okay, we'll get back

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Speaker 5: to that. But so yeah, it's like it's so funny

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Speaker 5: because I was talking to Danielle about it a few

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Speaker 5: weeks ago and she was like, this was before we

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Speaker 5: had all the questions from the scrubbers and they're like

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Speaker 5: they're like they're asking a lot about you and Red Star.

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Speaker 5: Are you guys okay? Do you want to talk about it?

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Speaker 5: And I was like, I'm in kind of a weird

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Speaker 5: place with it right now. But I was like, I

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00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:28,600
Speaker 5: don't feel pressure to share or not to share, because

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Speaker 5: it's like I like to share, do you know what

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00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:32,880
Speaker 5: I mean? But it's like because of the situation, the circumstance.

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Speaker 5: So I wanted to I want to tell you guys,

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Speaker 5: I said I love you to Red Star. I said

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Speaker 5: it when I felt like the world was ending, Like

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Speaker 5: I literally like felt like chance, you know, no, I

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00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:54,480
Speaker 5: was like, it was like just I just really felt

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Speaker 5: like the world was ending. Like I'm like this Corona

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Speaker 5: thing's taking over, like I knew some people that have

332
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Speaker 5: died from it. I like the Civil rights movement was

333
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:07,440
Speaker 5: just everything just was like piling up, and I was

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00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:09,360
Speaker 5: just like, why am I holding this in? You know,

335
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:12,960
Speaker 5: this feeling? Why am I waiting? So I just said it,

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00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:16,400
Speaker 5: and I even said too, I go I. So he

337
00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:20,520
Speaker 5: is divorced with children, so he's coming at this relationship

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Speaker 5: from a very different perspective than I am. I have

339
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:27,200
Speaker 5: not been in a relationship in almost a decade. So

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00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:32,040
Speaker 5: it's just like we are at just two very different

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Speaker 5: stages in our lives. And so I wasn't expecting him

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Speaker 5: to say it back. But after a while, like he

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00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:42,400
Speaker 5: didn't say it back in the moment, he still hasn't

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Speaker 5: said it.

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Speaker 4: Hold on, what was the moment? Tell us about the

346
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:46,600
Speaker 4: moment you said it in his reactions.

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Speaker 5: So we were having dinner and I just like got

348
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:54,600
Speaker 5: overwhelmed with like emotion, like just because I really like

349
00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:56,600
Speaker 5: when I say, I felt like the world was ending,

350
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:58,840
Speaker 5: like I was having a just I think, and I

351
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:00,440
Speaker 5: think everybody could kind of tell. There was like a

352
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:03,800
Speaker 5: two week period where I was just not myself. I

353
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:07,040
Speaker 5: was just feeling really down about everything and like I

354
00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:10,760
Speaker 5: just wasn't seeing hope and just you know, it was

355
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Speaker 5: like kind of a dark moment, and I was like

356
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Speaker 5: just overwhelmed with emotion because like our relationship is so strong,

357
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:22,680
Speaker 5: and like everything between us was so good, you know

358
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Speaker 5: what I mean. But then you question it because you're

359
00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:26,879
Speaker 5: like we've been in quarantine, so like I just was

360
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:30,600
Speaker 5: questioning everything. But I just got overwhelmed with like emotion,

361
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Speaker 5: and I just said it. I was like, I'm what

362
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:34,320
Speaker 5: did I say?

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Speaker 2: I wish I could remember I'm falling in love with you?

364
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:38,640
Speaker 2: Or did you say, yeah, I said I'm in love

365
00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:40,239
Speaker 2: with you? So you said I'm in love No, I

366
00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:41,320
Speaker 2: love you, but I'm in love with you.

367
00:17:41,359 --> 00:17:42,520
Speaker 5: Yes, I said I'm in love with you?

368
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Speaker 3: Did you did you build up to it?

369
00:17:44,359 --> 00:17:46,600
Speaker 4: Like, look, there's really something that's been on my mind

370
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Speaker 4: and I may not.

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Speaker 3: I may regret saying this.

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Speaker 5: No I did. I said, I've had something that I

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Speaker 5: wanted to share with you for a while, but I

374
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:58,879
Speaker 5: was waiting for a different time, like I was waiting

375
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Speaker 5: for like Corona to be over, like.

376
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Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean?

377
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:04,520
Speaker 5: I was just like waiting for like a lighter time.

378
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:08,040
Speaker 5: And then I think I just realized, like, Wh'm that

379
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:10,560
Speaker 5: gonna happen, and like kind of just like what am

380
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:14,320
Speaker 5: I waiting for? You know? And like I'm a modern woman.

381
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:16,120
Speaker 5: I can say I love you without hearing it back,

382
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Speaker 5: And I knew I was. The thing is I knew

383
00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:19,960
Speaker 5: I wasn't going to get it back at the time

384
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,479
Speaker 5: I said it, If that makes sense. So we know

385
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:27,760
Speaker 5: that because of everything that's going on in his life, which.

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00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:29,840
Speaker 3: We can now talk about, I mean we can't.

387
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:31,359
Speaker 5: I don't really want to go into detail.

388
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:34,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, but like he's divorced, he's he's coming at this

389
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:36,000
Speaker 2: relationship being like.

390
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:39,680
Speaker 5: The huge guard up and very very cautious, and it's

391
00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:43,920
Speaker 5: almost probably better because I am the antithesis of that,

392
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:46,560
Speaker 5: you know, Like I I think we all know, I

393
00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:53,480
Speaker 5: just jump and I free fall and really good. Yeah. Yeah,

394
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:55,399
Speaker 5: now I have my parachute. Before I didn't have a

395
00:18:55,359 --> 00:18:58,960
Speaker 5: pair of shoe, so no. But I think like I've

396
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,399
Speaker 5: just kind of been in this weird phase with it

397
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:02,800
Speaker 5: where I was like, I don't know if I want

398
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:05,720
Speaker 5: to share. I don't know because I've been like not

399
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:09,679
Speaker 5: sharing so much. But there you have it.

400
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,920
Speaker 3: Okay, but you just breathed past a major his reaction.

401
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,760
Speaker 4: Wait, but Becky just said this and he is divorced.

402
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:19,280
Speaker 4: That's something we can say.

403
00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:28,640
Speaker 3: Okay, got it. Yes, that's a yes, divorced recently correct.

404
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:34,760
Speaker 5: So yeah, but it's just like it's weird because I

405
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:38,240
Speaker 5: feel like everything that we've encountered in our relationship so

406
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:41,480
Speaker 5: far is just like obviously something that neither one of

407
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:44,159
Speaker 5: us has encountered before. So it's like we're both navigating

408
00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:49,600
Speaker 5: something we've never navigated before. Our feelings are obviously very

409
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:56,119
Speaker 5: very strong for each other, and it's like so good

410
00:19:56,520 --> 00:20:01,400
Speaker 5: but also so strange and under like even stranger circumstances

411
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,840
Speaker 5: because of the pandemic and things like that. So it's

412
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:09,600
Speaker 5: like it's been like a whole like cuckoo bird in

413
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:11,720
Speaker 5: my head, if that makes sense, and every day is

414
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:13,639
Speaker 5: like a different I feel differently about it, you know

415
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:14,159
Speaker 5: what I mean.

416
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:17,520
Speaker 2: So many cuckoo birds in my head right now. It's crazy. Yeah,

417
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:21,840
Speaker 2: they're like just keep like what's it called having babies?

418
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:26,880
Speaker 2: And they keep hatching. Wait, so when you said it,

419
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:29,240
Speaker 2: was there like a look on his face.

420
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:32,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, and like here's the thing, Like he doesn't have

421
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:34,399
Speaker 5: to say it to me, Like I know he feels

422
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:35,959
Speaker 5: the same way. Do you know what I'm saying? Like

423
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,600
Speaker 5: I know he does, and like it's in that look.

424
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:43,440
Speaker 5: It's in that like mm hmm, it's there. Yeah, you

425
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:45,359
Speaker 5: know what I mean. And I'm like, I don't want

426
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:48,040
Speaker 5: to I want him. I want him to do it

427
00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:49,320
Speaker 5: on his own time, like I did it on my

428
00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:50,960
Speaker 5: own time, and I want him to do it on

429
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:51,480
Speaker 5: his own time.

430
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:52,760
Speaker 3: But what did he say?

431
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:55,560
Speaker 4: How do you respond to that without those words back?

432
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:57,280
Speaker 4: How do you respond to that? That's a tough one.

433
00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:59,560
Speaker 4: That's a big Masa ball hanging out there.

434
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:05,399
Speaker 2: But thank you? Could you imagine peopless say thank you

435
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:08,359
Speaker 2: all the time and it what do you say?

436
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:11,959
Speaker 5: Well, I think just because of the circumstance, it was

437
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:16,920
Speaker 5: easy for him to be like I like, first of all,

438
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,600
Speaker 5: he already knew because he uh did I tell you guys,

439
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:22,399
Speaker 5: how we heard that bit on the air, but he

440
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:23,160
Speaker 5: did hear it, ye.

441
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:26,320
Speaker 2: Oh yeah in the car you were in there with him, Yeah.

442
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:28,800
Speaker 5: And he he kind of made like a joke afterwards.

443
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:31,359
Speaker 5: He was like and also like I obviously heard you

444
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:33,160
Speaker 5: on the radio, and.

445
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:34,680
Speaker 6: I was like, oh, I.

446
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,600
Speaker 2: Thought, yeah, thought you covered that.

447
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:38,480
Speaker 5: I really thought I covered that one up. And I

448
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:45,359
Speaker 5: was like damn. But his reaction was like, you know,

449
00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:47,200
Speaker 5: and like you wish you like you say things and

450
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:48,320
Speaker 5: then you kind of black out.

451
00:21:48,359 --> 00:21:50,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, especially that, especially that.

452
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:51,560
Speaker 5: And I also had like a little wine in me,

453
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:55,600
Speaker 5: but it was something to the effect of like, uh,

454
00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:03,840
Speaker 5: it was something to the effect of, like I can't

455
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:06,560
Speaker 5: It's like I can't say that back to you right now.

456
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:09,240
Speaker 5: It's not to say that I don't have those same feelings,

457
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:14,760
Speaker 5: but like there is something like there's a block for

458
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:16,720
Speaker 5: me right now, you know. And like I think also

459
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:19,600
Speaker 5: because if you guys remember when we first started dating,

460
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:23,199
Speaker 5: I wanted to be exclusive like right away, and it

461
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:25,119
Speaker 5: took him a little bit of time. So it's just

462
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:27,080
Speaker 5: like I think I just have to be patient and

463
00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:30,800
Speaker 5: like let him do on his own time, you know

464
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:31,119
Speaker 5: what I mean.

465
00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:33,760
Speaker 2: I think that's a good topic though, because what is

466
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:37,600
Speaker 2: a good response for someone who says I love you

467
00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:40,920
Speaker 2: and you're not right. Because when ninety five P said

468
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:43,919
Speaker 2: it to me, I said it back, but then I

469
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:46,239
Speaker 2: took it back because I was like, wait, did I

470
00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:49,760
Speaker 2: just say that out of like feeling the need to

471
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:53,840
Speaker 2: reciprocate for the sake of awkwardness, or did I really

472
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:55,440
Speaker 2: feel that way? I said it like a week or

473
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:58,240
Speaker 2: two later, but still I questioned myself because it was

474
00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:01,600
Speaker 2: a big deal and that made it even more awkward

475
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,479
Speaker 2: that I should have just been like, whatever, go with it.

476
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:06,920
Speaker 2: But you know, my brain can't do that. But I

477
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:12,000
Speaker 2: wonder what is the appropriate response that makes someone feel

478
00:23:12,119 --> 00:23:15,919
Speaker 2: your situation's unique because he's coming at it from a

479
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:19,280
Speaker 2: different place of like caution and wanting it to be true.

480
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:21,639
Speaker 5: Here's the thing, Like it obviously, if you asked me,

481
00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:25,119
Speaker 5: I would in an ideal world, you would say it

482
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:25,600
Speaker 5: right back.

483
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:26,480
Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean?

484
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:29,920
Speaker 5: Anybody? But it's like, I think there's also this part

485
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:33,639
Speaker 5: of me that like, I've been so intentional with our relationship,

486
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:36,440
Speaker 5: and he's also been so intentional with our relationship. So

487
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:39,280
Speaker 5: it's like I know when he says it, like he

488
00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:42,560
Speaker 5: really it means it, and like it carries a lot

489
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:44,240
Speaker 5: of weight, do you know what I mean? Like, I'll

490
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:45,760
Speaker 5: be the first person that he said it to and

491
00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:51,480
Speaker 5: mm hmm extremely long time, you know, so I know

492
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:53,800
Speaker 5: it carries a lot more weight, and I'll know, like,

493
00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:56,960
Speaker 5: I think it'll just tell me a lot more about

494
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,359
Speaker 5: our future, if that makes sense. Mm hmm does that

495
00:23:59,359 --> 00:23:59,800
Speaker 5: make sense?

496
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:05,040
Speaker 2: I think peanut gallery, I feel like because he said,

497
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:06,600
Speaker 2: like I.

498
00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:07,800
Speaker 3: You can't say peanut gallery anymore.

499
00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:10,480
Speaker 5: Yeah, I just remember, I just realized that. Yeah, it's

500
00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:11,720
Speaker 5: a racist term.

501
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:13,600
Speaker 3: It's a phrase with racist origins.

502
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:16,200
Speaker 4: The peanut gallery is where they sat the black people

503
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:18,959
Speaker 4: on the back of the theater in the in like

504
00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:20,480
Speaker 4: the late eighteen hundreds.

505
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,880
Speaker 5: Yeah, I caught my songing so much. Yeahh so not

506
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:25,560
Speaker 5: not I don't want to even say it again, but

507
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:27,480
Speaker 5: uh men.

508
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,359
Speaker 4: So basically what happened is he pulled the Harrison Ford

509
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:35,400
Speaker 4: on you Happy Birthday by the way, to Harrison Ford.

510
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:38,960
Speaker 4: He said, you said to him, I love you, and

511
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:42,840
Speaker 4: he said I know, well.

512
00:24:43,119 --> 00:24:46,720
Speaker 2: Essentially, which is so funny because we the whole time

513
00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:49,760
Speaker 2: you were telling the radio station, I mean the radio show,

514
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:53,480
Speaker 2: you were saying on the podcast, everyone who knows who

515
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:55,600
Speaker 2: you are knew that you were in love with your

516
00:24:55,600 --> 00:25:03,360
Speaker 2: boyfriend except for except no, we were pretending as if

517
00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:07,360
Speaker 2: he was under a rock, right with headphones on. Right.

518
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:10,159
Speaker 5: It's just so funny because I remember I wrote in

519
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:13,120
Speaker 5: my Dear future Husband journal the night that I felt it,

520
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:15,040
Speaker 5: like when I knew I was like in love with him.

521
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:18,560
Speaker 5: I wrote it to read it to him first at

522
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:20,439
Speaker 5: some point, but I did say I was like, I

523
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:22,600
Speaker 5: want to read it to you at some point, not now,

524
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:26,920
Speaker 5: because I feel very vulnerable. But it's funny because it's

525
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:29,719
Speaker 5: like I wrote in it when I realized it, and

526
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:32,600
Speaker 5: so I should probably cannot how many days until I

527
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:34,800
Speaker 5: actually said it to him from like when I felt it.

528
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that'd be interesting. Yeah, I would so love

529
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:41,080
Speaker 2: to get my hands on that Dear future Husband journal.

530
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:44,719
Speaker 4: No, hold on, there is a chance that that is

531
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:46,000
Speaker 4: not being written to him.

532
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:50,119
Speaker 3: That's true, So I think it's weird for you to

533
00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:50,520
Speaker 3: tell me.

534
00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:52,480
Speaker 4: Isn't that weird for you to tell him that I

535
00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:54,520
Speaker 4: wrote this in this and I'm going to read it

536
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:55,119
Speaker 4: to you someday.

537
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:56,160
Speaker 3: It may not be to him.

538
00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:58,800
Speaker 5: No, no, no, I'll read it to him someday like soon.

539
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:04,480
Speaker 2: No, But he's saying if he's not your husband. What

540
00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:06,760
Speaker 2: if he's not your husband, you don't want to read

541
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:13,000
Speaker 2: your dear future husband writings to him unless he's your husband.

542
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:17,000
Speaker 4: I think that journal stays closed and locked until somebody

543
00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:19,560
Speaker 4: puts a ring on that finger. I do too, and

544
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:22,040
Speaker 4: honestly until the ceremony. I think you read it to them,

545
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:23,679
Speaker 4: mind your honeymoon and at a minute.

546
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:28,399
Speaker 5: Before interesting that is that's that's good, that's good. I

547
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:29,520
Speaker 5: didn't think about that.

548
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:32,320
Speaker 2: That's good though, Like imagine you read it to him

549
00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:33,120
Speaker 2: and it's just like.

550
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:38,640
Speaker 5: Not but it's like I fully like described in details

551
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:40,840
Speaker 5: like oh my gosh, like I feel this and I

552
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:44,120
Speaker 5: haven't felt this in seven years, like what wtf?

553
00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:49,320
Speaker 2: And like write that's what I'm saying. I'd love to

554
00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:50,959
Speaker 2: read that respectfully.

555
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:54,520
Speaker 4: But also I fear, and I've told you this before,

556
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:57,600
Speaker 4: I fear you're putting too much pressure on this relationship.

557
00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:01,960
Speaker 4: Certain things you say in private make me feel like

558
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:05,000
Speaker 4: you gotta take this. I know what you are all

559
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:07,080
Speaker 4: in and that's how you are and that's how you live.

560
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:10,240
Speaker 4: But assuming that he is the recipient of the Dear

561
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:12,719
Speaker 4: future Husband journal, I think puts a lot of pressure

562
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:13,679
Speaker 4: on this relationship.

563
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:16,240
Speaker 3: That's got to go. Day by day to I agree.

564
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:18,560
Speaker 5: I totally agree with you. I guess I don't think

565
00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:22,159
Speaker 5: of it as like my dear future husband journal. I

566
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,120
Speaker 5: should I should have just been like I wrote it down,

567
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:25,600
Speaker 5: like I shouldn't have written it. I don't know, but

568
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:27,320
Speaker 5: I told you guys, it's like kind of awkward that

569
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:29,960
Speaker 5: I have this relationship and I'm writing in this journal

570
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:31,080
Speaker 5: now you know what I mean. Like I put a

571
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:32,520
Speaker 5: pin in it for a minute because I was like,

572
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:33,879
Speaker 5: it feels weird.

573
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:36,399
Speaker 2: You could have I feel like you could have a

574
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:41,960
Speaker 2: separate journal that's specifically for your relationship with Red Star,

575
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:46,119
Speaker 2: you know, and not have it be and depending on

576
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:49,720
Speaker 2: how that relationship goes, transfer it to the dear future

577
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:50,560
Speaker 2: husband journal.

578
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:52,480
Speaker 5: Oh wow, this feels like a lot of work.

579
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:54,880
Speaker 2: Well, you know, I feel like I feel like you've

580
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:57,920
Speaker 2: done work books. I feel like you're down for the challenge.

581
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:00,800
Speaker 5: It is interesting. But Mark, does you make a good point?

582
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:02,560
Speaker 5: Because I do. I think I tend to do that

583
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:02,960
Speaker 5: a lot.

584
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:09,120
Speaker 2: Just what I mean, that's part of who you are. Yeah,

585
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:12,320
Speaker 2: it's so like endearing about you is that you I

586
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:16,000
Speaker 2: really envy that about you, that you just throw caution

587
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:20,159
Speaker 2: to the wind and you're all in but you don't

588
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:23,680
Speaker 2: want to put that pressure on yourself or on the relationship.

589
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:26,320
Speaker 2: But that's hard to I mean, it's easier said than Denmark,

590
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:27,639
Speaker 2: you know, I know it is.

591
00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:30,320
Speaker 4: But I also just worry that if God forbid this

592
00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:33,520
Speaker 4: thing falls apart, the way she speaks of him will

593
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:36,479
Speaker 4: make it that much more devastating to her when maybe

594
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:40,320
Speaker 4: this is just another relationship on her way to the

595
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:43,240
Speaker 4: actual one, the one, the man of her dreams. Maybe

596
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:45,440
Speaker 4: he's just a stepping stone, or maybe he is the

597
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:47,520
Speaker 4: man of her dreams. I just don't think we know yet,

598
00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:51,200
Speaker 4: and I'm just trying to manage the potential outcomes.

599
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:55,600
Speaker 2: Oh, I totally agree. But also it would be devastating

600
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:58,400
Speaker 2: regardless because her heart's already in it, so it's not

601
00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:01,800
Speaker 2: like whether the press sure's there or not, like it's

602
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:04,960
Speaker 2: gonna It would be devastating because she's in love with him, right.

603
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,320
Speaker 5: And so this is what I kind of like crumbed

604
00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:08,760
Speaker 5: it up to or crimmed.

605
00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:13,280
Speaker 2: Up no idea, what you're trying to say, chalked it up,

606
00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:15,520
Speaker 2: crumbed it up to.

607
00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:19,400
Speaker 5: What I chalked it up to is And I think

608
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:21,840
Speaker 5: he is better at this than I am. That like

609
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,360
Speaker 5: taking it day by day, you know what I mean, Like,

610
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:28,280
Speaker 5: and I think that's good for me. I want to

611
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:30,600
Speaker 5: take it day by day, but I also don't want to,

612
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 5: uh not give it everything I have and then one

613
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:37,320
Speaker 5: day I always be like what if I you know

614
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:40,840
Speaker 5: what I mean, because that's just not me. So I

615
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:42,760
Speaker 5: kind of go back and forth with that a lot

616
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:43,280
Speaker 5: in my head.

617
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:45,440
Speaker 2: I think a lot of it is though, that you

618
00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:50,600
Speaker 2: have only control of your feelings, your actions, what you

619
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:51,680
Speaker 2: do with the relationship.

620
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:56,760
Speaker 5: If anybody knows that, it's after reading Codependent Nomore, Okay.

621
00:29:57,520 --> 00:30:00,480
Speaker 2: Here another plug? Are we sponsored by them yet?

622
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:04,000
Speaker 3: Yeah?

623
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:07,640
Speaker 2: I mean I'm I'm more like Red Star in the

624
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:11,280
Speaker 2: sense that I'm not like looking so far into the future.

625
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:13,920
Speaker 2: I'm always like day by day, like you know, this

626
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:15,720
Speaker 2: is where I'm at. I try to be like present,

627
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:22,600
Speaker 2: but n is like picture like has everything planned out,

628
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:26,840
Speaker 2: and I have to be like whoa day by day.

629
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:29,160
Speaker 5: But I think it's good that like one's one way

630
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:30,840
Speaker 5: and one's the other, you know what I mean. It's

631
00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:31,560
Speaker 5: like a good balance.

632
00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:35,400
Speaker 2: We're just like like we come to we come to

633
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 2: meet in the middle once we talk about it. But

634
00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:40,920
Speaker 2: the way our brains work, it's very different. So it's like,

635
00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:46,000
Speaker 2: you know, it's kind of like we're kind of similar

636
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:48,320
Speaker 2: in y'all's relationship, like we're the opposite.

637
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:53,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, so what kind of stuff scares you? Becca?

638
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:57,800
Speaker 2: So like plans, future plans, plans, plans scare me?

639
00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:01,480
Speaker 3: Said something right now now about where to spend Christmas?

640
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:03,560
Speaker 4: Would that scare you because it's so far in the future,

641
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:04,960
Speaker 4: it's five six months away.

642
00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:09,520
Speaker 2: Well, Christmas, I'm I'm pretty like certain that I would

643
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:12,160
Speaker 2: like to spend Christmas with my family as long as

644
00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:16,000
Speaker 2: I'm single in the sense of not married and have

645
00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:20,480
Speaker 2: my own family, So that one doesn't really scare me

646
00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:22,120
Speaker 2: because I've kind of made that clear.

647
00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:26,560
Speaker 4: What if it was, like, hey, Becca, next summer, this

648
00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:29,160
Speaker 4: is all going to be over. I want to book

649
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:32,200
Speaker 4: a trip to Hawaii now because the deals are better.

650
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:34,720
Speaker 4: What do you next August the twenty one, We're going

651
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:35,880
Speaker 4: to Hawaii. Would that scare you?

652
00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:37,680
Speaker 2: Yeah? I hate that one.

653
00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:42,880
Speaker 5: People are making plans for twenty twenty one right now.

654
00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:45,800
Speaker 5: Because you can't make plans for twenty twenty that's great.

655
00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:48,440
Speaker 2: I'd be like cool book the flights, but there's a

656
00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:52,520
Speaker 2: chance that the might not work for me. So but yeah,

657
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:57,120
Speaker 2: I just don't like that. I mean, I don't know,

658
00:31:57,400 --> 00:31:59,960
Speaker 2: it's just I've always been that way. Maybe that's something

659
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,920
Speaker 2: I can talk to my therapist about, which is really

660
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:06,120
Speaker 2: that's just been so great for me. But yeah, I

661
00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:09,520
Speaker 2: I just am someone who has always like I don't

662
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:12,200
Speaker 2: like to make plans with friends. Someone invited asked me

663
00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:15,120
Speaker 2: to do something on like a Tuesday, and they I'm sorry,

664
00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:17,640
Speaker 2: they texted on Tuesday wanting to do something on a

665
00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:22,520
Speaker 2: Sunday and I was like the nerve, like, oh my god,

666
00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:24,640
Speaker 2: what I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing

667
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:28,720
Speaker 2: on Sunday? Are you kidding? Like I don't have my

668
00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:32,160
Speaker 2: days planned out to that extent where I feel confident

669
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:34,280
Speaker 2: that that's what I'm gonna want to do on Sunday.

670
00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:36,600
Speaker 1: One.

671
00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:39,959
Speaker 2: For me, it's easier for me to just be like,

672
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:42,920
Speaker 2: I'm not sure what my plans are. How about I

673
00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:45,800
Speaker 2: text you on Friday and if things are still there,

674
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:47,840
Speaker 2: then I would love to come. But if you've already

675
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:49,920
Speaker 2: got it figured out, then we'll do another time.

676
00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:52,320
Speaker 4: Why can't you just commit and say, yeah, great Sunday,

677
00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:54,160
Speaker 4: Now I have plans on Sunday, right, you can.

678
00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:56,600
Speaker 5: That's called Bigger, Better syndrome.

679
00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:59,800
Speaker 2: It's not bigger better because my bigger better is me

680
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:03,680
Speaker 2: like sitting on the couch, not socializing. It's not about

681
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:06,920
Speaker 2: it's not about doing something bigger or better, unless it's

682
00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:10,440
Speaker 2: like someone with a private pool, then I would be like, listen,

683
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:13,360
Speaker 2: I gotta move on. It's more about am I gonna

684
00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:17,880
Speaker 2: be in the mood to be social, because tbh, I

685
00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:20,160
Speaker 2: have had days where I don't want to see or

686
00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:22,800
Speaker 2: talk to anyone through text because I'm dark in the

687
00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:24,920
Speaker 2: head and I'm like, I don't want to bring that

688
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:29,200
Speaker 2: upon anyone else or fake like everything's just like hunky

689
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:32,040
Speaker 2: dor you know. Yeah, I have some issues. I'm working

690
00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:34,520
Speaker 2: through you guys. So but the planning thing I really

691
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:36,000
Speaker 2: stand by because if I.

692
00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:38,719
Speaker 5: Went a whole day without talking or texting anybody, I

693
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:43,160
Speaker 5: would be it would not be good.

694
00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:47,000
Speaker 2: Well, the exciting news is that my youngest sister, Hank,

695
00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 2: is back in town from She was with my parents

696
00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:52,480
Speaker 2: in Florida for three months and she stayed with me

697
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:54,560
Speaker 2: her first week, but then she wanted to see her friends,

698
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:56,160
Speaker 2: so I told her she needed to go find another

699
00:33:56,200 --> 00:34:01,360
Speaker 2: place to stay because about covidy, and so she's gonna

700
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:03,960
Speaker 2: after she's gonna get tested and then she's gonna come back,

701
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:05,920
Speaker 2: and then I'm gonna have like my bube there, you know.

702
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:10,120
Speaker 2: And she's different because she's family. No, I don't feel

703
00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:13,680
Speaker 2: intruded on right, But I told her if she starts

704
00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:17,520
Speaker 2: stealing my clothes, she's a goner again. So not stealing,

705
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:23,960
Speaker 2: but wearing them without asking. But yeah, that's that's sorry.

706
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:28,520
Speaker 2: I didn't. I didn't really does anyone else feel this way?

707
00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:29,520
Speaker 2: Or am I alone here?

708
00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:34,440
Speaker 4: Only if it's somebody that I'm not crazy about. If

709
00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:36,880
Speaker 4: somebody had not crazy about said hey Sunday and it's Tuesday,

710
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:39,640
Speaker 4: were like, eh, let's see what happens. But if it's

711
00:34:39,640 --> 00:34:41,720
Speaker 4: somebody I enjoy spending time with, ye great Sunday.

712
00:34:41,719 --> 00:34:41,919
Speaker 3: Good.

713
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:45,279
Speaker 4: In fact, we'll make friends because families were so busy

714
00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:45,920
Speaker 4: as families.

715
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:48,440
Speaker 3: We'll make friends for a Sunday with another family in

716
00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:51,239
Speaker 3: a month. Ah, Sunday, the twelfth grade, let's do it.

717
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:57,000
Speaker 2: I am absolutely speechless. The things that could happen in

718
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:57,879
Speaker 2: that amount of time.

719
00:34:58,600 --> 00:34:59,440
Speaker 3: Well, and often they do.

720
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:01,040
Speaker 4: One of their kids look get sick, or one of ours,

721
00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:01,840
Speaker 4: then we'll have to cancel.

722
00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:03,319
Speaker 3: But you still get you pencil it in.

723
00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:06,880
Speaker 2: I feel like I've had this conversation on the podcast

724
00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:09,400
Speaker 2: before and everyone in the group called me selfish and stuff.

725
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:13,080
Speaker 2: So I'm all hesitant now to open myself up.

726
00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:15,640
Speaker 7: And I'm with you back, and I'm with you on

727
00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:19,200
Speaker 7: a certain extent. This might be a scorpio thing. But uh,

728
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:24,279
Speaker 7: like if still today, like if like Alison says like, hey,

729
00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:28,919
Speaker 7: let's go on vacation next spring, I'm always like, let's

730
00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:31,120
Speaker 7: pump the brakes. We don't know what's going to be happening,

731
00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 7: you know, like, and if if I still maintained that

732
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:36,759
Speaker 7: point of view, I would not be married. I would

733
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:38,600
Speaker 7: not have known. But like, there's all these things that

734
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:42,400
Speaker 7: I kept thinking, like, you know, these big things you

735
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:44,239
Speaker 7: make plans for and then these small things, and I'm

736
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:46,120
Speaker 7: always like kind of like, oh, well, let's see what's

737
00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:48,840
Speaker 7: what everything's looking like when we get closer to that

738
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:49,720
Speaker 7: actually happening.

739
00:35:50,239 --> 00:35:51,680
Speaker 6: And you can't look like that.

740
00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:55,359
Speaker 2: If Allison was I can't tell if you're I don't

741
00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:56,600
Speaker 2: know what side you're on right now.

742
00:35:56,960 --> 00:35:58,439
Speaker 6: I'm on your side. It's a good side.

743
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:04,240
Speaker 2: Oh okay, okay. But what if Allison was like, hey, Aston,

744
00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:08,600
Speaker 2: next Saturday, let's go let's like go to the park.

745
00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:11,600
Speaker 2: And blah blah blah, and then next Friday comes and

746
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:13,600
Speaker 2: you look at the weather and it's like gonna be

747
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:16,759
Speaker 2: really uncomfortably hot or whatever, and you're just like, that

748
00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:18,760
Speaker 2: doesn't really sound that great anymore.

749
00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:23,160
Speaker 7: I mean, I guess I would just tell her that

750
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:24,720
Speaker 7: that it doesn't sound that great.

751
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:28,440
Speaker 5: But in terms of something else, like then you make

752
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:29,080
Speaker 5: other plans.

753
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:31,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I can't change if someone asked me to

754
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:35,040
Speaker 2: do something, I can't change, Like, I can't be like

755
00:36:35,719 --> 00:36:37,400
Speaker 2: take control over the situation.

756
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:39,000
Speaker 3: You can't, sure, you can't.

757
00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:40,680
Speaker 4: You could say we're gonna go to the beach. It's

758
00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:42,520
Speaker 4: sixty two in raining, Why don't you guys just come

759
00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:43,080
Speaker 4: on over here?

760
00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:46,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, well COVID, Well right.

761
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:49,759
Speaker 2: I'm just in general, Well, in general, i'd be like, yeah,

762
00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:53,920
Speaker 2: come over. Well, I can't wait to binge Netflix. No.

763
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:58,040
Speaker 2: I my newest thing has been conspiracy theories. And also

764
00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:01,040
Speaker 2: I've been playing a lot of banana grams, which makes

765
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:04,000
Speaker 2: me feel eighty years old. But what you like it?

766
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:06,680
Speaker 5: We've been playing a little bananagram too. Oh my god,

767
00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:08,520
Speaker 5: I don't love it because he beats me every all

768
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:12,759
Speaker 5: the time. Yeah, like the or like it's like that

769
00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:14,200
Speaker 5: little it's like a what is it like?

770
00:37:14,239 --> 00:37:17,520
Speaker 2: It's like amost Well, it's like your own little scrabble boy.

771
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:19,960
Speaker 7: Yeah, but like you're playing, it's like the actual like game, right,

772
00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:21,160
Speaker 7: not like an app or something.

773
00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:22,680
Speaker 2: Yeah.

774
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:25,719
Speaker 5: Good cards are a little more even so like when

775
00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:28,719
Speaker 5: we play cards, it's anyone's game, where like banana gram

776
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:29,919
Speaker 5: every time we play he wins.

777
00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:33,080
Speaker 2: And I'm just technically cards is a luck luck situation.

778
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:38,240
Speaker 2: Some may say banana Grams is like of a skill

779
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:40,359
Speaker 2: set of spelling some make.

780
00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:44,319
Speaker 5: Some people call cards luck. I happen to think it

781
00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:45,200
Speaker 5: requires skill.

782
00:37:45,239 --> 00:37:47,440
Speaker 3: It depends on the game Remy.

783
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:50,400
Speaker 4: I don't think I know enough about Remy, but I

784
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:51,760
Speaker 4: don't know. There might be skill involved.

785
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:52,480
Speaker 5: Thank you.

786
00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:58,239
Speaker 2: Also needed Bill and Dark that Easton took my side,

787
00:37:58,280 --> 00:38:01,160
Speaker 2: but in a negative way.

788
00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:06,040
Speaker 7: I'm just saying, I'm like, I react the same way,

789
00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:07,720
Speaker 7: but I don't think it's it's great.

790
00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:08,759
Speaker 6: That's all I'm trying to say.

791
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:10,920
Speaker 2: See what you're saying, is it something you've worked on

792
00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:14,920
Speaker 2: to change? Yes, I got too much of that going

793
00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:16,839
Speaker 2: on for me to add another thing to my pint.

794
00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:18,680
Speaker 5: Don't you feel like a caterpillar?

795
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:20,239
Speaker 2: Yes, me too.

796
00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:23,040
Speaker 5: Lately I've just been feeling like and I don't know

797
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:25,280
Speaker 5: if it's all the self help books that I've been reading,

798
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:29,040
Speaker 5: but like, I feel as though I'm this caterpillar right

799
00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:32,080
Speaker 5: now and I am going to be a butterfly soon.

800
00:38:32,239 --> 00:38:34,360
Speaker 2: Did I tell you about how my therapist was saying

801
00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:39,879
Speaker 2: the lucky thing, that you're lucky, and about like when

802
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 2: you like got found God or like had a relationship

803
00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:44,960
Speaker 2: with God. Did I talk about that on the podcast?

804
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:46,200
Speaker 5: No, you just told me personally.

805
00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:49,600
Speaker 2: So I was last week. Should we take a break

806
00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:50,120
Speaker 2: and then come back?

807
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:50,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, we should.

808
00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:52,400
Speaker 4: And also I'd like to tease that I have more

809
00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:55,200
Speaker 4: questions about Red Star now that we're kind of cracking

810
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:56,279
Speaker 4: open his shell a little bit.

811
00:38:56,520 --> 00:39:00,760
Speaker 2: We love a Red Stars shells open.

812
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, let me see what I did there.

813
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:19,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, we'll be back. Okay, we're back. So

814
00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:22,520
Speaker 2: I don't remember when this was last week. I guess

815
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:27,120
Speaker 2: I was saying how it's so interesting growing up in

816
00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:32,080
Speaker 2: a certain not just like social environment. I grew up

817
00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:35,440
Speaker 2: in the church. I grew up in a Christian school.

818
00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:38,520
Speaker 2: I went to church like Sunday and Wednesday. I was like,

819
00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:43,439
Speaker 2: you know, led Bible studies everything. I grew up this way,

820
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:47,759
Speaker 2: and I never really knew anyone else's perspective except for

821
00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:51,000
Speaker 2: the people that were that had the same interest as

822
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:54,239
Speaker 2: me and like lived the same lifestyle as me. And

823
00:39:54,280 --> 00:39:57,239
Speaker 2: so when I moved to California, this was like ten

824
00:39:57,320 --> 00:39:59,880
Speaker 2: years ago, I would meet people and have conversations and

825
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:01,560
Speaker 2: and be like, oh, that's interesting. Like I just got

826
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:06,240
Speaker 2: to see so many different perspectives on life and religion

827
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:11,719
Speaker 2: and politics and just like got to expand my knowledge

828
00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:16,719
Speaker 2: and horizons. And I was always so closed mind. I

829
00:40:16,719 --> 00:40:20,080
Speaker 2: was like a very judgy Christian, not the kind that

830
00:40:20,239 --> 00:40:24,960
Speaker 2: was like I fear that I probably turned people off

831
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:28,040
Speaker 2: of Christianity. I was like that type of person. Hopefully

832
00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:30,279
Speaker 2: they found someone else who was, you know, better on

833
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:35,719
Speaker 2: later on in life. But my therapist is saying that

834
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:39,000
Speaker 2: the things that you learned during those developmental years like

835
00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:42,400
Speaker 2: those are what is in your brain and like in

836
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:45,920
Speaker 2: your neurons and how you think, and you put everything

837
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:50,560
Speaker 2: into that place of what you've always known, like what

838
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:54,719
Speaker 2: feels safe, what feels familiar, and when that's challenged or

839
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:58,759
Speaker 2: questioned by something else, it like really messes with your

840
00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:01,640
Speaker 2: psyche because you're like, wait, but this is what I

841
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:05,480
Speaker 2: was told my whole life. But this is also feels

842
00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:08,719
Speaker 2: right to me too, but can there be both if

843
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:14,520
Speaker 2: that makes sense? So I was telling her about how Tanya.

844
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:16,920
Speaker 5: I'm honored that I have been able to be a

845
00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:19,280
Speaker 5: part of your therapy truly.

846
00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:23,200
Speaker 2: So I was telling her that you got saved and

847
00:41:23,239 --> 00:41:25,640
Speaker 2: like started going to church, like you were raised Serbian Orthodox,

848
00:41:25,719 --> 00:41:29,480
Speaker 2: but you how long ten eight years ago, seven years ago,

849
00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:32,040
Speaker 2: years ago you went to church and you got saved,

850
00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:37,120
Speaker 2: and you don't have all these like like rules in

851
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:39,600
Speaker 2: your head of like being good or being a certain

852
00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:41,960
Speaker 2: way you follow. You like talk about God's love for

853
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:43,759
Speaker 2: people and how much he loves people, and that's the

854
00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:46,080
Speaker 2: example you want to be as like a Christian, right.

855
00:41:46,719 --> 00:41:48,759
Speaker 2: And I was telling her about that, and I was like,

856
00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:51,320
Speaker 2: it's so hard because I have so many conflicting thoughts

857
00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:55,839
Speaker 2: on what I was raised with and learned about when

858
00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:59,120
Speaker 2: I was going through my developmental years versus what I'm

859
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:03,919
Speaker 2: learning now that feels right and like doesn't they don't

860
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:06,239
Speaker 2: always like a line or I have to like balance them.

861
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:08,319
Speaker 2: And so I was telling her about you, and she's like, well,

862
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:14,759
Speaker 2: Tanya's a lucky duck. I was like, yeah, but it's

863
00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:17,840
Speaker 2: for that. It got me thinking because I was on

864
00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:21,920
Speaker 2: social media the other day and I followed this, uh,

865
00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:26,040
Speaker 2: this girl who her daughter had an accident last summer.

866
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:27,640
Speaker 2: They don't really know what happened. They don't know if

867
00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:29,680
Speaker 2: it's a seizure or something. But she fell off a

868
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:33,640
Speaker 2: golf cart and hit her head. And she's not I

869
00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:35,759
Speaker 2: don't know what the technical term is, and I don't

870
00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:37,960
Speaker 2: want to speak on it without knowing enough. But she's

871
00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:39,919
Speaker 2: you know, they're having to take care of her. She's

872
00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:44,319
Speaker 2: not having as much function as she was. She's I

873
00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:47,480
Speaker 2: don't know what the term is. Anyways, she's a pastor's wife,

874
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:49,480
Speaker 2: and she posted the other day, she posted like a

875
00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:53,239
Speaker 2: rainbow cookie and said, Hey, for everyone in the LGBTQ community,

876
00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:55,240
Speaker 2: I just want you to know that you were valued

877
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:59,440
Speaker 2: and worthy of love. She didn't say anything else. It

878
00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:02,399
Speaker 2: was that I noticed the amount of Christians who are

879
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:07,080
Speaker 2: like quoting Bible scriptures and just like it came across

880
00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:11,080
Speaker 2: so off putting and so judgmental. And she's like she

881
00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:14,440
Speaker 2: did this Instagram live afterwards, and she was like, I

882
00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:17,840
Speaker 2: know all these Bible verses. You don't need to preach

883
00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:19,800
Speaker 2: to me or tell me all these things like this.

884
00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:22,239
Speaker 2: All I said was that they're worthy and valued, and

885
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:26,000
Speaker 2: I believe that's what Jesus would say about those people too.

886
00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:29,680
Speaker 2: But it was just like such a reminder that social

887
00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:31,880
Speaker 2: media and the Internet is just well.

888
00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:34,120
Speaker 5: I was saying this because I feel like, and you

889
00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:36,520
Speaker 5: get these messages a lot too where people will say

890
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:38,560
Speaker 5: like how do you stand behind this when the Bible

891
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:42,520
Speaker 5: says this? Yeah, and they really really affect you, and like, yeah,

892
00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:45,239
Speaker 5: I get these messages too, like how are you know?

893
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:48,320
Speaker 5: How are you a Christian? And you know, post about

894
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:51,839
Speaker 5: Pride Month and I literally respond and I'm like, I'm

895
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:55,640
Speaker 5: a Christian and I love everybody like I am, like

896
00:43:55,840 --> 00:43:58,840
Speaker 5: I want to be the light of Jesus to everybody,

897
00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:02,200
Speaker 5: all people, no matter they love what they look like,

898
00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:04,560
Speaker 5: Like it's easy for me to kind of like like

899
00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:06,239
Speaker 5: flick them off, you know what I mean, just like

900
00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:09,520
Speaker 5: by like it doesn't hurt, It doesn't affect me as

901
00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:11,239
Speaker 5: much as I feel like it affects you because of

902
00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:13,040
Speaker 5: the way that you were raised, So you have these

903
00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:16,080
Speaker 5: conflicting feelings of like oh, where I'm just.

904
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:19,680
Speaker 2: Like, oh, I just find it to me because I've

905
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:22,320
Speaker 2: been that person who would do that, and I find

906
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:26,000
Speaker 2: it so I just think of anyone who isn't a

907
00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:31,960
Speaker 2: Christian or doesn't like religion, in what way is that appealing?

908
00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 5: And I think like right now, especially like because we

909
00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:39,399
Speaker 5: are all social distancing and like we can't see people,

910
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:42,080
Speaker 5: I feel like the only way we can communicate us

911
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:45,000
Speaker 5: through social media and like, yeah, you would think that

912
00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:47,600
Speaker 5: everybody would embrace that and want to like love on

913
00:44:47,680 --> 00:44:51,600
Speaker 5: each other and you know, like build community where I

914
00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:54,480
Speaker 5: feel like the opposite is happening and people are just

915
00:44:54,520 --> 00:44:57,480
Speaker 5: wanting to like tear everybody down. It's like yeah in

916
00:44:57,480 --> 00:44:58,319
Speaker 5: a wild.

917
00:44:58,120 --> 00:45:01,040
Speaker 2: And like I'll see these someone post something and then

918
00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:03,440
Speaker 2: someone will in the comments will be like, well, I

919
00:45:03,480 --> 00:45:05,719
Speaker 2: loved you until this. Now I need to unfollow, Like

920
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:09,640
Speaker 2: you do not need to announce your unfollowing or whatever.

921
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:14,319
Speaker 2: Like it's just it's weird, man. So it's so weird

922
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:16,839
Speaker 2: to give people. I think a lot of times it's

923
00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:19,880
Speaker 2: done with the intention of love. And like I'm I

924
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:22,720
Speaker 2: do I do think that people. No, not those people,

925
00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:25,280
Speaker 2: not the unfollowers, but the ones who send me messages

926
00:45:25,280 --> 00:45:26,600
Speaker 2: and are like this is what the Bible says. I

927
00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:28,600
Speaker 2: don't feel like it's from a malicious place or like

928
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:32,720
Speaker 2: ill intention, but I do want to say it's it's

929
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:34,920
Speaker 2: it can be a little as someone who grew up

930
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:38,240
Speaker 2: knowing all the things that they're already telling me, I'm like, okay, cool,

931
00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:41,799
Speaker 2: Like I see it, I know it. It's you know,

932
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:45,680
Speaker 2: it's it's a challenge with social media because I agree

933
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:47,600
Speaker 2: it should be a place where we're like really reaching

934
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:49,520
Speaker 2: out to each other and lifting each other up and

935
00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:53,160
Speaker 2: wanting each other to be better and feel loved by

936
00:45:53,200 --> 00:45:56,040
Speaker 2: strangers on the internet. But it's quite the opposite.

937
00:45:56,239 --> 00:45:58,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's funny because I feel like recently, all of

938
00:45:58,960 --> 00:46:05,960
Speaker 5: my dms are people asking about UTI's or or saying

939
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:08,480
Speaker 5: that they're trying to date during Corona and having like

940
00:46:08,520 --> 00:46:10,960
Speaker 5: a really hard time. So like those are literally the

941
00:46:11,040 --> 00:46:13,640
Speaker 5: two messages that I get the most right now.

942
00:46:13,920 --> 00:46:17,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, funny, Oh you are the UTI master.

943
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:19,640
Speaker 5: I do feel like the vagina queen right now.

944
00:46:19,719 --> 00:46:19,919
Speaker 2: Yeah.

945
00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:24,440
Speaker 4: I will say this just from something of an outsider perspective,

946
00:46:24,440 --> 00:46:25,920
Speaker 4: but that Bible is a big book, and there's a

947
00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:27,880
Speaker 4: lot of words in there, and if you want to,

948
00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:31,040
Speaker 4: you could find something in there to justify whatever belief

949
00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:35,880
Speaker 4: you have been raised or conditioned to already believe. You know,

950
00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:38,960
Speaker 4: you're just you can use it to reinforce whatever you've

951
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:42,080
Speaker 4: already been told and so that's not really to me

952
00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:44,279
Speaker 4: a great use of it. You know, you can find

953
00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:46,480
Speaker 4: enlightenment in it, you can find encouragement in it. But

954
00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:49,799
Speaker 4: if you're just using it to back up whatever you've

955
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:52,760
Speaker 4: been raised to believe and using it for arguing purposes,

956
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:54,480
Speaker 4: I don't think that's the greatest use of it.

957
00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:57,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, it just doesn't come from it. It doesn't make

958
00:46:57,239 --> 00:47:01,520
Speaker 2: anyone feel welcomed or loved like it doesn't feel you know.

959
00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:03,760
Speaker 2: It's just like I said, it can be off putting.

960
00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:06,880
Speaker 2: And I think because I was I was that person

961
00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:10,440
Speaker 2: for so long, I'm more like hyper sensitive and aware

962
00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:15,080
Speaker 2: of it. So that's true. It is a large book.

963
00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:16,160
Speaker 3: It shouldn't be a weapon.

964
00:47:17,480 --> 00:47:18,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was.

965
00:47:18,360 --> 00:47:23,080
Speaker 5: Not intended to be a weapon. Actually, thank you.

966
00:47:23,239 --> 00:47:24,000
Speaker 2: The Book of Hope.

967
00:47:24,320 --> 00:47:29,040
Speaker 5: It's a book of hope and love and compassion and

968
00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:33,520
Speaker 5: empathy and light, and that's what we want to be.

969
00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:36,360
Speaker 2: It's true. I think that's what we're called to be.

970
00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:39,959
Speaker 5: Man. People are dark right now.

971
00:47:40,320 --> 00:47:43,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I think where everyone's got their own. Yeah,

972
00:47:44,040 --> 00:47:46,680
Speaker 2: let's get to the red star questions.

973
00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:50,760
Speaker 4: And if you can't answer, you just say I can't

974
00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:53,319
Speaker 4: answer that question, Okay, because we all know.

975
00:47:53,320 --> 00:47:56,880
Speaker 3: You would like to. Okay, does Red Star have children?

976
00:47:57,880 --> 00:47:58,200
Speaker 5: Yes?

977
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:01,000
Speaker 3: Back to that in a second.

978
00:48:01,280 --> 00:48:04,040
Speaker 4: Can we talk about Red Star in this way in

979
00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:05,640
Speaker 4: terms of his divorce and children?

980
00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:07,640
Speaker 3: On The Ryan Seacrest Show.

981
00:48:08,280 --> 00:48:10,240
Speaker 5: Are these personal mark questions?

982
00:48:10,239 --> 00:48:12,480
Speaker 4: Well, that one is that one's for me, and then

983
00:48:12,520 --> 00:48:13,480
Speaker 4: I get back to more.

984
00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:17,200
Speaker 5: General marks like these are some questions from the Scrubbers

985
00:48:17,239 --> 00:48:21,759
Speaker 5: scrub sisters, La la la, Yeah we can. I mean

986
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:26,239
Speaker 5: I can say those two things. Okay, Yeah, I just can't.

987
00:48:26,280 --> 00:48:28,920
Speaker 5: I just really can't. Just I can't give specifics because

988
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:34,279
Speaker 5: I just need to respect him. And yeah, I'm only

989
00:48:34,360 --> 00:48:35,560
Speaker 5: one half this relationship.

990
00:48:35,719 --> 00:48:41,800
Speaker 4: Fair, So focusing on you, how do you feel about

991
00:48:42,239 --> 00:48:45,040
Speaker 4: let's pretend Red Star is the future husband of the

992
00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:49,239
Speaker 4: dear future husband journal that makes you a stepmother, and

993
00:48:49,280 --> 00:48:50,520
Speaker 4: how do you feel about that?

994
00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:53,919
Speaker 5: I've always wanted a lot of kids, so the fact

995
00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:56,160
Speaker 5: that he already has some is like.

996
00:48:57,320 --> 00:48:58,920
Speaker 2: A plus deal ideal.

997
00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:02,480
Speaker 5: Yeah, because like we definitely have had the question of

998
00:49:02,520 --> 00:49:04,719
Speaker 5: because I want to have my own children as well,

999
00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:08,920
Speaker 5: So that conversation has been had and we agree in

1000
00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:11,879
Speaker 5: that sense. So I feel comfortable and good in that space.

1001
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:14,200
Speaker 4: It doesn't put you off that doesn't make you nervous.

1002
00:49:14,680 --> 00:49:16,400
Speaker 4: I don't know the ages of the kids. I'm guessing

1003
00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:19,160
Speaker 4: we're going to stay away from that. But yeah, kids

1004
00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:22,520
Speaker 4: throughout their lives go through some difficult phases. It's interesting

1005
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:24,879
Speaker 4: to think of you as the step mom that might

1006
00:49:24,920 --> 00:49:27,080
Speaker 4: help them through one of those phases in life, whether

1007
00:49:27,120 --> 00:49:30,279
Speaker 4: it's puberty, whether it's like I have no idea the

1008
00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:31,680
Speaker 4: age of these kids, but there's.

1009
00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:33,600
Speaker 5: A lot of stuff I know, and so it's interesting

1010
00:49:33,640 --> 00:49:35,480
Speaker 5: because I do think I referenced this in one of

1011
00:49:35,520 --> 00:49:38,400
Speaker 5: our podcasts where I was being cryptic, and I apologize

1012
00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:39,879
Speaker 5: now I can speak on that a little bit more,

1013
00:49:39,920 --> 00:49:43,279
Speaker 5: but I was saying, how like it's a very unique situation,

1014
00:49:43,640 --> 00:49:45,239
Speaker 5: you know what I mean, being a step parent is

1015
00:49:45,320 --> 00:49:46,360
Speaker 5: like it's unique.

1016
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:46,960
Speaker 2: And I know.

1017
00:49:47,200 --> 00:49:49,279
Speaker 5: The thing is that I also realized too now that

1018
00:49:49,320 --> 00:49:51,839
Speaker 5: I'm in this position, and I like, for the Morning show,

1019
00:49:51,880 --> 00:49:54,040
Speaker 5: I read, you know, a lot of entertainment stories, and

1020
00:49:54,080 --> 00:49:56,160
Speaker 5: I try and you know, do my trending reports, and

1021
00:49:56,200 --> 00:50:01,879
Speaker 5: I'm just finding, like, I realize how many people go

1022
00:50:01,960 --> 00:50:04,520
Speaker 5: through this or like our step parents are liked, are

1023
00:50:04,600 --> 00:50:08,160
Speaker 5: are on there having second marriages and navigating through this

1024
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:11,919
Speaker 5: thing that nobody really talks about So it's like, yes,

1025
00:50:11,960 --> 00:50:15,080
Speaker 5: I have two people in my life that our step

1026
00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:18,480
Speaker 5: parents and like have navigated this very successfully. So those

1027
00:50:18,480 --> 00:50:20,040
Speaker 5: are the people that I kind of really go to

1028
00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:25,759
Speaker 5: for advice because I feel like they ously did it successfully.

1029
00:50:25,880 --> 00:50:26,560
Speaker 5: But it is a.

1030
00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:30,239
Speaker 2: Weird I mean, aside from like the weird food they

1031
00:50:30,320 --> 00:50:36,319
Speaker 2: might have to eat. A step mom would be ideal, truly.

1032
00:50:36,440 --> 00:50:39,640
Speaker 4: If there are teenage girls at some point, that would

1033
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:41,799
Speaker 4: be amazing because you are God.

1034
00:50:41,960 --> 00:50:53,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that is so funny, journal so funny.

1035
00:50:56,200 --> 00:51:02,400
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's interestingesting.

1036
00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:01,120
Speaker 3: Have you met those children?

1037
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:02,400
Speaker 2: I have not.

1038
00:51:03,520 --> 00:51:06,040
Speaker 3: Ah, that's good. I think. I think that's how I think.

1039
00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:08,760
Speaker 5: I think so too, And I feel like I'm telling

1040
00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:11,759
Speaker 5: you I think. I mean, he's red star really has

1041
00:51:11,760 --> 00:51:14,000
Speaker 5: a good head on his shoulders, and I think that

1042
00:51:14,160 --> 00:51:17,920
Speaker 5: his judgment and discernment as to what when he wants

1043
00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:21,799
Speaker 5: to like do that or if he wants to do

1044
00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:26,240
Speaker 5: that or when. I think it's a really good space

1045
00:51:27,280 --> 00:51:30,360
Speaker 5: for him to be in. Because I agree it's like,

1046
00:51:30,400 --> 00:51:32,560
Speaker 5: you don't want to introduce your children to you know,

1047
00:51:32,680 --> 00:51:33,520
Speaker 5: multiple people.

1048
00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:35,200
Speaker 4: Of course, and so many parents do that and it

1049
00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:39,239
Speaker 4: does seem to be rough on the kids when mom

1050
00:51:39,360 --> 00:51:41,560
Speaker 4: or dad has a different kind of partner every couple

1051
00:51:41,560 --> 00:51:43,320
Speaker 4: of months totally.

1052
00:51:43,440 --> 00:51:45,880
Speaker 5: So it's like, I really respect his judgment on that

1053
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:48,400
Speaker 5: a lot. And I've said that multiple times.

1054
00:51:48,719 --> 00:51:52,279
Speaker 4: How long once you meet them, will you make them

1055
00:51:52,520 --> 00:51:54,960
Speaker 4: your almond cracker thing?

1056
00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:57,880
Speaker 3: Because that could end everything?

1057
00:51:58,200 --> 00:51:58,359
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1058
00:51:58,440 --> 00:52:00,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I really could. I don't know

1059
00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:03,680
Speaker 2: if I'll ever make those for anyone else.

1060
00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:09,440
Speaker 5: I don't know. I judging my Red Stars review on that.

1061
00:52:10,040 --> 00:52:13,200
Speaker 2: And he likes like healthy. He normally likes what you like.

1062
00:52:15,560 --> 00:52:20,160
Speaker 2: I made. I made homemade almond milk myself. I'm very

1063
00:52:20,239 --> 00:52:22,799
Speaker 2: proud of that, and it was amazing. However, when I

1064
00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:27,960
Speaker 2: was emptying the pull pulp out of the nutbag, I

1065
00:52:28,080 --> 00:52:30,960
Speaker 2: was so grossed out that that's what I had eaten.

1066
00:52:33,040 --> 00:52:38,600
Speaker 2: I was so upset, the texture was awful. Throwing it

1067
00:52:38,640 --> 00:52:42,080
Speaker 2: away no, I felt no feelings, just went right down

1068
00:52:42,120 --> 00:52:42,880
Speaker 2: the disposal.

1069
00:52:43,080 --> 00:52:45,880
Speaker 5: I'm like, such a waste of almond pulp to just

1070
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:47,040
Speaker 5: throw it in the trash.

1071
00:52:48,480 --> 00:52:50,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, but do you feel that way if you are

1072
00:52:50,600 --> 00:52:55,759
Speaker 2: like peeling the skin of an orange? No, boom, do

1073
00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:57,640
Speaker 2: you'll feel that mic drop?

1074
00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:02,799
Speaker 5: That is an interesting that's an interesting metaphor, and think

1075
00:53:02,840 --> 00:53:04,359
Speaker 5: of because I do peel my apples and I have

1076
00:53:04,400 --> 00:53:05,360
Speaker 5: no regrets about that.

1077
00:53:05,400 --> 00:53:07,759
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and the apple's skin is normally what people

1078
00:53:07,760 --> 00:53:11,040
Speaker 2: eat animal and I.

1079
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:14,160
Speaker 5: Know, but for people such as myself with digestive issues,

1080
00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:17,719
Speaker 5: it's a lot easier to digest an apple without with

1081
00:53:17,800 --> 00:53:19,280
Speaker 5: the sand's peel.

1082
00:53:19,840 --> 00:53:21,880
Speaker 4: That's been driving me crazy about Tanya for years, the

1083
00:53:21,920 --> 00:53:25,160
Speaker 4: effort she goes into preparing an apple where most people

1084
00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:26,560
Speaker 4: just it's hey, apple.

1085
00:53:27,200 --> 00:53:27,840
Speaker 3: Nam gone.

1086
00:53:28,600 --> 00:53:32,440
Speaker 4: She brings into work a giant butcher knife and appeler

1087
00:53:32,520 --> 00:53:35,560
Speaker 4: and a peeler and plates, and she goes to the

1088
00:53:35,640 --> 00:53:38,840
Speaker 4: kitchen and the thing is, it's a whole process, and

1089
00:53:38,880 --> 00:53:40,440
Speaker 4: then she puts it in the tupperware. I'm like, what

1090
00:53:40,520 --> 00:53:43,040
Speaker 4: do you what is all this? It was meant to

1091
00:53:43,080 --> 00:53:45,359
Speaker 4: be eaten, plucked from a tree and eating with your hand.

1092
00:53:45,800 --> 00:53:47,640
Speaker 5: Okay, but I have to tell you I have a

1093
00:53:47,640 --> 00:53:50,239
Speaker 5: permanent retainer in my teeth, and so I can't eat

1094
00:53:50,280 --> 00:53:53,000
Speaker 5: apples just like a normal human, like off the tree,

1095
00:53:53,080 --> 00:53:56,760
Speaker 5: like I can't dig into it otherwise my permanent retainers

1096
00:53:56,800 --> 00:53:57,320
Speaker 5: will break.

1097
00:53:57,719 --> 00:53:58,000
Speaker 2: I know.

1098
00:53:58,040 --> 00:53:59,000
Speaker 5: But you have to cut.

1099
00:53:59,080 --> 00:54:00,920
Speaker 2: You could get one of the apple things where you

1100
00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:02,839
Speaker 2: just like push it down and it slices them all.

1101
00:54:04,440 --> 00:54:08,000
Speaker 2: But the peal is the real like kicker because I've

1102
00:54:08,040 --> 00:54:10,479
Speaker 2: watched you do it, and I'm just like entrance because

1103
00:54:10,480 --> 00:54:15,640
Speaker 2: it's she's quick quick. Yeah.

1104
00:54:15,880 --> 00:54:18,360
Speaker 5: Guess what, guys, nothing is never normal with me.

1105
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:23,200
Speaker 4: That what you just said means everything is normal with you.

1106
00:54:23,320 --> 00:54:25,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, you did two double negatives.

1107
00:54:26,080 --> 00:54:28,880
Speaker 5: Nothing is ever normal, Nothing is ever normal when it

1108
00:54:28,920 --> 00:54:29,360
Speaker 5: comes to me.

1109
00:54:29,520 --> 00:54:33,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm right past Tanya's head. There's a giant bag

1110
00:54:33,880 --> 00:54:37,280
Speaker 2: of nuts and it says nuts dot Com.

1111
00:54:38,160 --> 00:54:40,719
Speaker 5: Because I make so much almond milk I got sick of,

1112
00:54:40,760 --> 00:54:41,840
Speaker 5: Like I feel like I have to go to the

1113
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:43,640
Speaker 5: store to my almonds all the time. So that's just

1114
00:54:43,680 --> 00:54:45,520
Speaker 5: a gigantic bag.

1115
00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:49,680
Speaker 2: I wonder all almonds. That is a lot of almond pulp.

1116
00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:51,799
Speaker 5: It's probably a month of almond milk in there.

1117
00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:54,520
Speaker 7: I love Nuts dot Com. I've been seeing their commercials

1118
00:54:54,560 --> 00:54:56,680
Speaker 7: on TV a lot, and those characters are so damn cute.

1119
00:54:56,760 --> 00:54:58,080
Speaker 6: I love us.

1120
00:54:58,760 --> 00:55:06,560
Speaker 5: I will it's so cute my nutbag. Thank you for that.

1121
00:55:06,600 --> 00:55:09,759
Speaker 2: Appreciate you. Feel like a sense of relief speaking on

1122
00:55:09,880 --> 00:55:12,560
Speaker 2: Red Star, a little bit, opening up a little bit more.

1123
00:55:12,560 --> 00:55:16,239
Speaker 5: I do, yeah, because it's been hard. Like I said,

1124
00:55:16,280 --> 00:55:19,480
Speaker 5: like I enjoy sharing and I like that, you know,

1125
00:55:19,520 --> 00:55:22,440
Speaker 5: and it's funny because even when I wasn't sharing, I

1126
00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:25,640
Speaker 5: had so many people sending me messages. Like one scrubber

1127
00:55:25,719 --> 00:55:30,480
Speaker 5: sent me a note that her now husband but at

1128
00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:32,680
Speaker 5: the time her boyfriend didn't say I love you back

1129
00:55:32,680 --> 00:55:37,160
Speaker 5: for nine months. Yeah, for nine months and now they're married,

1130
00:55:37,239 --> 00:55:41,520
Speaker 5: and like somebody else said, you know, like I'm just

1131
00:55:41,560 --> 00:55:43,439
Speaker 5: getting a lot of messages like that. So it's really

1132
00:55:43,440 --> 00:55:46,920
Speaker 5: funny because I didn't say anything, and yet people, I

1133
00:55:46,920 --> 00:55:48,200
Speaker 5: guess I did talk about it a little bit that

1134
00:55:48,239 --> 00:55:52,120
Speaker 5: I was like in love, but the encouragement from people

1135
00:55:52,239 --> 00:55:56,480
Speaker 5: is just like so sweet, you know, yeah, like strangers

1136
00:55:56,520 --> 00:55:58,000
Speaker 5: like I don't even know you and you feel so

1137
00:55:58,040 --> 00:55:59,680
Speaker 5: compelled to like share that with me.

1138
00:56:00,560 --> 00:56:02,600
Speaker 2: I know, I get a lot of just random out

1139
00:56:02,640 --> 00:56:05,759
Speaker 2: of the blue of like hey, just like we appreciate

1140
00:56:05,800 --> 00:56:08,920
Speaker 2: you and Tanya, and it's always so nice because you know,

1141
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:13,600
Speaker 2: of course people don't sometimes they say things that aren't

1142
00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:16,520
Speaker 2: great to read, but I feel like, as a majority

1143
00:56:16,960 --> 00:56:21,520
Speaker 2: are scrub listeners are so encouraging and kind and sweet.

1144
00:56:21,680 --> 00:56:24,880
Speaker 5: So yeah, and it's like weird because I am so

1145
00:56:25,120 --> 00:56:30,240
Speaker 5: happy and like it's weird. It's like this weird dichotomy.

1146
00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:36,600
Speaker 5: Is that the right word? Okay? It's this weird dichotomy

1147
00:56:36,600 --> 00:56:41,040
Speaker 5: where like, this relationship is really good, We've had to

1148
00:56:41,120 --> 00:56:44,360
Speaker 5: navigate through things that are really challenging and hard and

1149
00:56:44,440 --> 00:56:46,600
Speaker 5: have made me think about things that I've never thought

1150
00:56:46,600 --> 00:56:52,160
Speaker 5: about before and also act in a very mature manner

1151
00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:54,840
Speaker 5: that I'm like, I'm actually surprised at myself. Do you

1152
00:56:54,920 --> 00:56:56,480
Speaker 5: know what I mean? Like I was like, wow, like

1153
00:56:57,160 --> 00:57:00,959
Speaker 5: I'm mature, Like do you know what I mean? Sorry,

1154
00:57:00,960 --> 00:57:03,560
Speaker 5: you have to beleeve that, but like you know, I'm

1155
00:57:03,600 --> 00:57:06,080
Speaker 5: like dealing with things and like I'm looking inward and

1156
00:57:06,120 --> 00:57:09,360
Speaker 5: seeing like you know, speaking up about boundaries and things,

1157
00:57:09,440 --> 00:57:13,240
Speaker 5: and like I'm not being shy about that, whereas before

1158
00:57:13,280 --> 00:57:15,840
Speaker 5: I feel like I would suppress how I'm feeling because

1159
00:57:16,080 --> 00:57:18,919
Speaker 5: just to make him feel better, you know. And it's

1160
00:57:18,920 --> 00:57:20,800
Speaker 5: like I'm not doing those things. So it's like this

1161
00:57:20,880 --> 00:57:21,960
Speaker 5: weird level of.

1162
00:57:21,840 --> 00:57:25,680
Speaker 2: Like cocoon, yeah, turning into a.

1163
00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:27,640
Speaker 5: Butterfly, turning into a butterfly.

1164
00:57:28,600 --> 00:57:31,600
Speaker 2: Yeah. It is interesting. It's I've never seen I've never

1165
00:57:31,720 --> 00:57:34,960
Speaker 2: known you in a committed like relationship like this, so

1166
00:57:35,560 --> 00:57:38,080
Speaker 2: it's been interesting to see what you like that you

1167
00:57:38,160 --> 00:57:40,560
Speaker 2: stand up for yourself in certain things, and it's a

1168
00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:44,240
Speaker 2: very mature and communicative relationship.

1169
00:57:44,480 --> 00:57:46,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, because he like understands, you know what I mean.

1170
00:57:46,440 --> 00:57:48,800
Speaker 5: If I speak up about something, he doesn't shut it down,

1171
00:57:48,880 --> 00:57:52,400
Speaker 5: valid invalidate my feelings, like he actually is like I

1172
00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:54,440
Speaker 5: didn't think of that, or I didn't think of it

1173
00:57:54,440 --> 00:57:55,760
Speaker 5: that way, or you know what I mean. Like it's

1174
00:57:55,840 --> 00:58:00,000
Speaker 5: really actually nice. I'm like, is this like a mature relationship.

1175
00:58:00,160 --> 00:58:03,000
Speaker 2: I wish everyone could have those conversations everyone right now,

1176
00:58:03,120 --> 00:58:05,800
Speaker 2: that it could just be like open minded to hearing

1177
00:58:05,840 --> 00:58:08,320
Speaker 2: how other people feel or what they think without being

1178
00:58:08,400 --> 00:58:09,720
Speaker 2: defensive or attacking.

1179
00:58:09,800 --> 00:58:10,000
Speaker 4: You know.

1180
00:58:10,320 --> 00:58:14,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, it'd be a really peaceful world. I like it really,

1181
00:58:14,720 --> 00:58:17,800
Speaker 2: especially in a relationship. It's such a it's such an

1182
00:58:17,800 --> 00:58:22,200
Speaker 2: important I always would say, like communication is key, but

1183
00:58:22,280 --> 00:58:24,880
Speaker 2: I'm the worst communicator ever, So it was all just

1184
00:58:24,960 --> 00:58:27,320
Speaker 2: words and what I was, you know, thought I needed

1185
00:58:27,320 --> 00:58:30,600
Speaker 2: to say. But I'm really learning, especially in my relationship too.

1186
00:58:30,680 --> 00:58:34,640
Speaker 2: Of I just want to have space and be like

1187
00:58:34,720 --> 00:58:36,680
Speaker 2: I need to think about this before we talk about it,

1188
00:58:36,720 --> 00:58:40,520
Speaker 2: because I don't want to say something that I regret.

1189
00:58:40,960 --> 00:58:45,160
Speaker 2: But ninety five P is very much like we're not

1190
00:58:45,600 --> 00:58:48,160
Speaker 2: stopping this conversation until we figure things out or at

1191
00:58:48,240 --> 00:58:52,959
Speaker 2: least come to an understanding, so you gotta have both.

1192
00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:56,640
Speaker 4: Gotta have both, all right. I have emails if anyone

1193
00:58:56,680 --> 00:59:01,040
Speaker 4: would like to help. Some folks need some help. Nifeli

1194
00:59:01,120 --> 00:59:03,680
Speaker 4: has a question for Tanya. She says, I'm a single

1195
00:59:03,720 --> 00:59:07,360
Speaker 4: gal living in San Francisco. Sometimes I feel like I'm

1196
00:59:07,360 --> 00:59:09,720
Speaker 4: too much of a modern woman and too independent when

1197
00:59:09,720 --> 00:59:11,720
Speaker 4: it comes to dating, where sometimes I feel like being

1198
00:59:11,720 --> 00:59:15,120
Speaker 4: in a relationship is a distraction or a weakness. But

1199
00:59:15,160 --> 00:59:16,760
Speaker 4: I do want to be in a relationship again, and

1200
00:59:16,760 --> 00:59:18,840
Speaker 4: when I'm thinking about it, really I know it isn't

1201
00:59:18,880 --> 00:59:20,840
Speaker 4: a weakness. I feel like I could relate to Tanya

1202
00:59:20,920 --> 00:59:23,400
Speaker 4: last week when she said her pattern with dating was

1203
00:59:23,400 --> 00:59:25,280
Speaker 4: that she did it on her time because she has

1204
00:59:25,320 --> 00:59:27,320
Speaker 4: a job and she needs to go to sleep at

1205
00:59:27,360 --> 00:59:29,160
Speaker 4: a certain time. It needs to be seen as an equal.

1206
00:59:29,600 --> 00:59:31,400
Speaker 4: I feel like I do something similar. So I'd like

1207
00:59:31,440 --> 00:59:34,280
Speaker 4: to hear more from Tanya and see what slash how

1208
00:59:34,520 --> 00:59:36,600
Speaker 4: she changed, And then I would love to hear beck

1209
00:59:36,640 --> 00:59:37,960
Speaker 4: at Easton in marks thoughts too.

1210
00:59:39,200 --> 00:59:41,360
Speaker 5: It's interesting that she says like that, because I do

1211
00:59:41,480 --> 00:59:45,200
Speaker 5: think because so long ago I came out of a

1212
00:59:45,280 --> 00:59:50,280
Speaker 5: relationship where I felt like I catered to my partner's

1213
00:59:50,360 --> 00:59:53,600
Speaker 5: needs more than my own, so like everything was on

1214
00:59:53,640 --> 00:59:59,640
Speaker 5: his terms, Like everything was an not on it wasn't

1215
00:59:59,680 --> 01:00:02,160
Speaker 5: his because I allowed that to happen, do you know

1216
01:00:02,200 --> 01:00:05,320
Speaker 5: what I mean? Like it was it was like I

1217
01:00:05,400 --> 01:00:09,800
Speaker 5: didn't really have a sense of self. And when that

1218
01:00:09,840 --> 01:00:12,640
Speaker 5: relationship ended, it's almost like I did a complete three

1219
01:00:12,840 --> 01:00:17,280
Speaker 5: sixty and you know, threw myself into like my work

1220
01:00:17,280 --> 01:00:21,040
Speaker 5: and my career and almost felt like it was a

1221
01:00:21,040 --> 01:00:23,760
Speaker 5: weakness to like actually have feelings for somebody. And so

1222
01:00:23,800 --> 01:00:25,360
Speaker 5: I went through that phase where I was just like

1223
01:00:26,280 --> 01:00:29,080
Speaker 5: having fun, sleeping around and like thought I could do

1224
01:00:29,200 --> 01:00:31,520
Speaker 5: it all, you know what I mean, and like quickly

1225
01:00:31,560 --> 01:00:34,520
Speaker 5: realized that that was not I was incapable of doing that.

1226
01:00:34,640 --> 01:00:37,880
Speaker 5: You know, it's hurting me more than it was anything else.

1227
01:00:38,960 --> 01:00:40,480
Speaker 5: But it's like I can totally relate to that, because

1228
01:00:40,520 --> 01:00:41,680
Speaker 5: I do think that there was a point where I

1229
01:00:41,720 --> 01:00:44,840
Speaker 5: felt like having feelings for somebody was a weakness because

1230
01:00:44,880 --> 01:00:47,920
Speaker 5: it took away from me doing the things I wanted

1231
01:00:47,960 --> 01:00:49,800
Speaker 5: to do for myself, whether it was working out, whether

1232
01:00:49,840 --> 01:00:52,120
Speaker 5: it was being with my friends, whether it was my job,

1233
01:00:52,160 --> 01:00:54,640
Speaker 5: my career, my time. So it's like I can really

1234
01:00:54,640 --> 01:00:56,520
Speaker 5: relate to that. But I do think that you can

1235
01:00:56,560 --> 01:00:59,880
Speaker 5: find a balance, and I think it also ultimately it

1236
01:01:00,120 --> 01:01:02,920
Speaker 5: is in the person and the partner that you choose

1237
01:01:02,960 --> 01:01:06,240
Speaker 5: to do that with, you know, because I think I

1238
01:01:06,240 --> 01:01:08,680
Speaker 5: always came out of the gate really strong, and that's

1239
01:01:08,720 --> 01:01:10,760
Speaker 5: the pattern I was talking about where I would just

1240
01:01:10,840 --> 01:01:13,280
Speaker 5: like lay it on thick, like you need to date

1241
01:01:13,320 --> 01:01:15,000
Speaker 5: me on my time. I'm not gonna go out with

1242
01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:18,160
Speaker 5: you past eight pm, like blah blah blah. But I

1243
01:01:18,160 --> 01:01:23,240
Speaker 5: think when you find a person that can like do

1244
01:01:23,400 --> 01:01:26,640
Speaker 5: that with you, but also that's what they want to do,

1245
01:01:27,040 --> 01:01:30,040
Speaker 5: if that makes sense, it all just kind of starts clicking.

1246
01:01:32,000 --> 01:01:35,040
Speaker 2: I'm curious of Easton and Mark's thoughts on this as

1247
01:01:35,120 --> 01:01:38,800
Speaker 2: like a male in the dating world with someone who

1248
01:01:39,400 --> 01:01:44,920
Speaker 2: is very independent and strong and almost feels like my

1249
01:01:45,120 --> 01:01:47,680
Speaker 2: thing with dating was always that I felt like it

1250
01:01:47,760 --> 01:01:51,320
Speaker 2: was not a weakness, but almost like it was too vulnerable,

1251
01:01:51,600 --> 01:01:54,960
Speaker 2: like for me to allow my heart to maybe get broken.

1252
01:01:55,040 --> 01:01:58,439
Speaker 2: Felt like I'm giving too much to someone, So I'm

1253
01:01:58,560 --> 01:02:01,560
Speaker 2: I'm better off being like cool, like the cool single

1254
01:02:01,560 --> 01:02:02,680
Speaker 2: girl and doing my own thing.

1255
01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:05,560
Speaker 5: Before you guys answer this, it's actually one of the

1256
01:02:05,720 --> 01:02:07,240
Speaker 5: not fights, but it was one of the things that

1257
01:02:07,280 --> 01:02:09,400
Speaker 5: Red Star and I had like a little bit of

1258
01:02:09,400 --> 01:02:11,760
Speaker 5: a thing about because like I would fall down the

1259
01:02:11,760 --> 01:02:14,919
Speaker 5: stairs and my first reaction would be like to call

1260
01:02:14,920 --> 01:02:18,640
Speaker 5: Becca or to walk go to Siciny's like it wasn't.

1261
01:02:18,720 --> 01:02:20,920
Speaker 5: My first reaction wasn't to come to him. And I

1262
01:02:20,960 --> 01:02:23,680
Speaker 5: was like, I think it's my like fear of feeling

1263
01:02:23,720 --> 01:02:28,320
Speaker 5: like I need you. Does that make sense? Yeah, like

1264
01:02:28,360 --> 01:02:30,640
Speaker 5: I want to know that like I can I have

1265
01:02:30,720 --> 01:02:33,680
Speaker 5: other people in my life that can help me in

1266
01:02:33,720 --> 01:02:35,800
Speaker 5: these times of you know, He's like when you're in distress,

1267
01:02:35,840 --> 01:02:37,480
Speaker 5: He's like, you never come to me first, you go

1268
01:02:37,560 --> 01:02:39,040
Speaker 5: And I was like, oh my gosh, I didn't even

1269
01:02:39,120 --> 01:02:42,360
Speaker 5: realize that, but that's like another defense mechanism that I do.

1270
01:02:42,520 --> 01:02:46,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, yoush can go ahead.

1271
01:02:47,200 --> 01:02:50,040
Speaker 7: Well, I mean I was thinking about it like in

1272
01:02:50,080 --> 01:02:52,840
Speaker 7: the maybe I have this wrong, but like in the

1273
01:02:52,920 --> 01:02:53,479
Speaker 7: terms of.

1274
01:02:55,200 --> 01:02:56,520
Speaker 6: Feeling like you either.

1275
01:02:57,760 --> 01:03:00,680
Speaker 7: Are in a relationship or you're like forocusing on like

1276
01:03:00,720 --> 01:03:05,360
Speaker 7: your career and your goals, and and yeah, is because

1277
01:03:05,440 --> 01:03:08,440
Speaker 7: like I mean, this is different because I you know,

1278
01:03:08,960 --> 01:03:12,560
Speaker 7: I'm just speaking of from my own perspective as a man,

1279
01:03:12,880 --> 01:03:15,680
Speaker 7: so it's you know, it's different. But I always felt

1280
01:03:15,720 --> 01:03:20,560
Speaker 7: that like if I was in a relationship, I wouldn't

1281
01:03:20,600 --> 01:03:23,000
Speaker 7: be able to give everything to like my job and

1282
01:03:23,080 --> 01:03:25,720
Speaker 7: vice versa. So it was kind of like it was

1283
01:03:25,880 --> 01:03:27,840
Speaker 7: like kind of one or the other. So when I

1284
01:03:27,880 --> 01:03:30,480
Speaker 7: moved to Los Angeles, like I I wasn't dating anyone,

1285
01:03:30,920 --> 01:03:32,840
Speaker 7: and I stayed single for like, I didn't try to

1286
01:03:32,880 --> 01:03:34,440
Speaker 7: date anyone for a very long time. And I was

1287
01:03:34,440 --> 01:03:36,120
Speaker 7: just trying, like I was trying really hard to build

1288
01:03:36,120 --> 01:03:38,080
Speaker 7: my career and I was, you know, trying to do

1289
01:03:38,120 --> 01:03:41,240
Speaker 7: all this extra stuff. And I will say, uh, then

1290
01:03:41,400 --> 01:03:43,600
Speaker 7: like I started dating Allison just kind of it just

1291
01:03:43,720 --> 01:03:47,760
Speaker 7: kind of happened, and I have achieved more than I

1292
01:03:47,800 --> 01:03:50,920
Speaker 7: ever thought I could, uh, since I started dating her

1293
01:03:50,960 --> 01:03:54,919
Speaker 7: because I she like pushed me to do things I

1294
01:03:54,960 --> 01:03:57,800
Speaker 7: felt uncomfortable doing and and you know, motivated me to

1295
01:03:58,160 --> 01:04:01,800
Speaker 7: do stuff like that. So I think that, you know,

1296
01:04:01,840 --> 01:04:05,320
Speaker 7: to answer her question, like, I really think you should.

1297
01:04:05,480 --> 01:04:07,960
Speaker 7: You should just focus on what you want and the

1298
01:04:08,040 --> 01:04:10,520
Speaker 7: right person will you know, present themselves. But I don't think

1299
01:04:10,560 --> 01:04:13,720
Speaker 7: you should, like, you know, back off on yourself to

1300
01:04:13,760 --> 01:04:18,520
Speaker 7: make yourself more you know, appealing to someone else, if

1301
01:04:18,520 --> 01:04:19,560
Speaker 7: you want to use that word.

1302
01:04:20,000 --> 01:04:20,880
Speaker 6: That's my thought.

1303
01:04:23,400 --> 01:04:26,640
Speaker 4: Guys, most guys don't have these thoughts. Yeah, most guys

1304
01:04:26,640 --> 01:04:29,080
Speaker 4: don't think Oh, I want a relationship, but oh, my job,

1305
01:04:29,120 --> 01:04:32,680
Speaker 4: what do I do? Guys don't think like that, So Nifeli,

1306
01:04:32,880 --> 01:04:35,200
Speaker 4: who wrote us this email, you're thinking like a dude,

1307
01:04:35,240 --> 01:04:37,280
Speaker 4: and that's great. You got to be the best version

1308
01:04:37,320 --> 01:04:39,560
Speaker 4: of you. Guys don't get lost in that stuff. Guys

1309
01:04:39,680 --> 01:04:41,320
Speaker 4: are going to go out and get their job and

1310
01:04:41,400 --> 01:04:43,120
Speaker 4: on the weekends they're going to go out and meet girls.

1311
01:04:43,160 --> 01:04:44,440
Speaker 4: And if she wants to be in my life, she

1312
01:04:44,480 --> 01:04:46,120
Speaker 4: can find a way to fit into it, because that's

1313
01:04:46,160 --> 01:04:49,120
Speaker 4: just how guys are. They are very career focused and women.

1314
01:04:49,360 --> 01:04:51,560
Speaker 4: They a lot of them expect women to kind of

1315
01:04:51,720 --> 01:04:54,680
Speaker 4: follow along and assist them however they can, which is

1316
01:04:54,720 --> 01:04:56,120
Speaker 4: not the way to look at this. So I think

1317
01:04:56,120 --> 01:04:58,440
Speaker 4: you're looking at this exactly right, Infelli. I think you

1318
01:04:58,560 --> 01:05:00,680
Speaker 4: got to be the best version of you because that

1319
01:05:00,760 --> 01:05:03,480
Speaker 4: makes you that much more attractive to other people. And

1320
01:05:03,520 --> 01:05:05,720
Speaker 4: if you're doing you and you are happy and you

1321
01:05:05,760 --> 01:05:10,120
Speaker 4: are killing it and whatever your chosen profession is, then fantastic.

1322
01:05:10,160 --> 01:05:12,439
Speaker 4: And if it works out with some other guy, that's great,

1323
01:05:12,440 --> 01:05:15,120
Speaker 4: and it's going to because you are the best in

1324
01:05:15,120 --> 01:05:15,840
Speaker 4: the felly.

1325
01:05:15,600 --> 01:05:16,400
Speaker 3: You can possibly be.

1326
01:05:16,840 --> 01:05:17,680
Speaker 5: You know what they say?

1327
01:05:17,840 --> 01:05:18,840
Speaker 3: What do they say, Tanya?

1328
01:05:19,960 --> 01:05:23,320
Speaker 5: When you're looking at the north. It's gonna sneak up

1329
01:05:23,920 --> 01:05:30,800
Speaker 5: from myself. Sincerely, you're supposed to say like you're supposed to,

1330
01:05:31,040 --> 01:05:32,840
Speaker 5: you look at the north and then you hit your

1331
01:05:32,880 --> 01:05:34,200
Speaker 5: head from the back like it's like.

1332
01:05:34,200 --> 01:05:38,640
Speaker 2: Oh what, oh, well, you almost lost There was almost

1333
01:05:38,640 --> 01:05:43,200
Speaker 2: aith that busted lip. But I think she got her

1334
01:05:43,200 --> 01:05:44,520
Speaker 2: point across the point.

1335
01:05:44,560 --> 01:05:45,600
Speaker 5: I think it's worth the point.

1336
01:05:45,760 --> 01:05:48,400
Speaker 4: Okay, all right, this is from anonymous. I've been dating

1337
01:05:48,440 --> 01:05:50,840
Speaker 4: my boyfriend from almost a year and a half. Every

1338
01:05:50,880 --> 01:05:53,480
Speaker 4: box I had and my mental list is checked. There's

1339
01:05:53,520 --> 01:05:56,080
Speaker 4: just one thing. I'm not sure if I just love

1340
01:05:56,160 --> 01:05:59,439
Speaker 4: him or if I'm in love with him. I'm very

1341
01:05:59,440 --> 01:06:02,800
Speaker 4: content and relationship, but I've never felt fireworks. Do you

1342
01:06:02,960 --> 01:06:05,960
Speaker 4: need that can't stop thinking about them? Feeling to know

1343
01:06:06,040 --> 01:06:09,200
Speaker 4: you're in love? Just being content, I mean the relationship

1344
01:06:09,240 --> 01:06:11,880
Speaker 4: is boring, or that you're in a normal, healthy relationship.

1345
01:06:12,120 --> 01:06:14,080
Speaker 4: I could normally trust my gut, but with this, my

1346
01:06:14,160 --> 01:06:16,280
Speaker 4: guts all over the place. I don't like the thought

1347
01:06:16,320 --> 01:06:18,000
Speaker 4: of breaking up because I feel like I got a

1348
01:06:18,040 --> 01:06:20,720
Speaker 4: good one. For background. We're twenty three and this is

1349
01:06:20,760 --> 01:06:23,800
Speaker 4: my first serious, long term relationship. They did other guys

1350
01:06:23,800 --> 01:06:26,120
Speaker 4: before him, but nothing too serious. We're young, so not

1351
01:06:26,200 --> 01:06:28,800
Speaker 4: looking to get wiped up yet obviously, but just looking

1352
01:06:28,800 --> 01:06:31,920
Speaker 4: for an outsider's view. I like that the difference between

1353
01:06:31,920 --> 01:06:33,880
Speaker 4: I love him, am I in love with him?

1354
01:06:34,120 --> 01:06:36,800
Speaker 2: I kind of had that with Robert, but I also

1355
01:06:37,080 --> 01:06:40,560
Speaker 2: at the like especially kind of like before we started dating,

1356
01:06:40,560 --> 01:06:42,480
Speaker 2: and when we first started dating, there was like that

1357
01:06:42,640 --> 01:06:46,600
Speaker 2: excitement in the fireworks, but it wasn't like it wasn't

1358
01:06:46,600 --> 01:06:52,280
Speaker 2: like my current relationship. And I always thought that that

1359
01:06:52,480 --> 01:06:55,720
Speaker 2: was just like my I thought my personality was always

1360
01:06:55,760 --> 01:06:57,640
Speaker 2: going to be in a relationship that was just like

1361
01:07:00,160 --> 01:07:06,360
Speaker 2: I'm content, I'm happy, like he's wonderful. So the movies, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1362
01:07:06,360 --> 01:07:09,880
Speaker 2: I always thought like comparing my relationship to what the

1363
01:07:09,880 --> 01:07:12,680
Speaker 2: movie said I was supposed to feel was like not realistic.

1364
01:07:13,360 --> 01:07:16,960
Speaker 2: But having experienced it now, I realized that it was.

1365
01:07:18,120 --> 01:07:20,760
Speaker 2: It's not like the whole relationship is always that way,

1366
01:07:20,800 --> 01:07:24,640
Speaker 2: Like it's not like this like explosion of fireworks forever

1367
01:07:24,800 --> 01:07:27,920
Speaker 2: for the rest of your relationship. But there is something

1368
01:07:28,000 --> 01:07:31,760
Speaker 2: that's so special about having those feelings and like them,

1369
01:07:32,080 --> 01:07:34,880
Speaker 2: they continue. It's just in a different way because you

1370
01:07:34,920 --> 01:07:39,200
Speaker 2: grow as people and like you grow together. But I

1371
01:07:39,240 --> 01:07:42,400
Speaker 2: don't know, I hate giving advice on this stuff because

1372
01:07:42,400 --> 01:07:45,120
Speaker 2: it's such a personal experience and some people I've seen

1373
01:07:45,160 --> 01:07:47,360
Speaker 2: these conversations in the group where some people are like,

1374
01:07:48,280 --> 01:07:51,120
Speaker 2: it's so important to have someone who's consistent and has

1375
01:07:51,200 --> 01:07:54,760
Speaker 2: that like you feel that contentment, because contentment, especially right now,

1376
01:07:54,880 --> 01:08:00,320
Speaker 2: is a hard feeling to find. But sometimes you just

1377
01:08:00,360 --> 01:08:02,960
Speaker 2: have to know there is more. So it's more like

1378
01:08:03,560 --> 01:08:05,520
Speaker 2: could that be a great relationship forever?

1379
01:08:05,600 --> 01:08:05,840
Speaker 3: Sure?

1380
01:08:05,920 --> 01:08:08,640
Speaker 2: But also you're twenty three, Like there's so many people

1381
01:08:08,680 --> 01:08:11,919
Speaker 2: you haven't met and experiences you shouldn't you haven't had yet,

1382
01:08:12,000 --> 01:08:16,400
Speaker 2: So I don't know. I hate these questions because it's

1383
01:08:16,439 --> 01:08:17,200
Speaker 2: like if he's a.

1384
01:08:17,160 --> 01:08:20,120
Speaker 4: Good I don't know, but it sounds like you're leaning

1385
01:08:20,200 --> 01:08:21,280
Speaker 4: towards he's not the one.

1386
01:08:22,400 --> 01:08:25,280
Speaker 2: Well, I just think, like why you you? It's here's

1387
01:08:25,280 --> 01:08:28,720
Speaker 2: the thing. You're twenty three. There's so many people that

1388
01:08:28,840 --> 01:08:31,759
Speaker 2: you have the opportunity to meet and it's gonna be scary,

1389
01:08:31,840 --> 01:08:35,479
Speaker 2: and it might be that you look you date other

1390
01:08:35,520 --> 01:08:37,640
Speaker 2: people and you're like, no, he was he was the

1391
01:08:37,640 --> 01:08:40,840
Speaker 2: one that I want and y'all end up together. But

1392
01:08:41,080 --> 01:08:44,080
Speaker 2: it's hard to just say like stay in it with

1393
01:08:44,520 --> 01:08:50,120
Speaker 2: just kind of being totally level all the time. Yeah,

1394
01:08:50,320 --> 01:08:52,360
Speaker 2: because I've been there.

1395
01:08:54,080 --> 01:08:57,120
Speaker 5: I don't know because it's like for me, Tanya twenty three,

1396
01:08:58,120 --> 01:09:02,240
Speaker 5: who is she? Oh my lord? She was a mess,

1397
01:09:02,320 --> 01:09:07,160
Speaker 5: like a hot mess and a hot mess express that

1398
01:09:07,439 --> 01:09:11,200
Speaker 5: was just like chew chew train going. And I'm still

1399
01:09:11,240 --> 01:09:17,920
Speaker 5: that hot mess. But like I feel like, you know,

1400
01:09:18,400 --> 01:09:19,920
Speaker 5: it feel very wise now.

1401
01:09:21,439 --> 01:09:22,559
Speaker 2: Wow.

1402
01:09:23,760 --> 01:09:25,519
Speaker 5: But it's interesting because I feel like I had my

1403
01:09:25,600 --> 01:09:27,320
Speaker 5: first love when I was around that age, you know,

1404
01:09:27,400 --> 01:09:30,040
Speaker 5: like twenty three, twenty five, and it was such a

1405
01:09:30,040 --> 01:09:32,519
Speaker 5: different love than I feel now, you know what I mean.

1406
01:09:33,040 --> 01:09:36,200
Speaker 5: So it's yeah, yeah, equally just as beautiful.

1407
01:09:36,320 --> 01:09:36,679
Speaker 2: Huh.

1408
01:09:36,800 --> 01:09:39,400
Speaker 5: Different feelings. So it's like I can't you can't really,

1409
01:09:40,160 --> 01:09:42,680
Speaker 5: I can't really give her advice onto like what she

1410
01:09:42,760 --> 01:09:45,280
Speaker 5: should be feeling because you know, maybe she's twenty three

1411
01:09:45,320 --> 01:09:46,160
Speaker 5: and she's an old soul.

1412
01:09:46,320 --> 01:09:48,559
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's like hard to because

1413
01:09:48,600 --> 01:09:50,640
Speaker 2: I feel like at twenty three, I thought I was

1414
01:09:50,960 --> 01:09:54,080
Speaker 2: ready for marriage and to settle down and like have kids.

1415
01:09:54,120 --> 01:09:58,160
Speaker 2: At twenty five, you know, like it's just you grow

1416
01:09:58,240 --> 01:10:01,000
Speaker 2: so much as a person, especially in your twenties, and

1417
01:10:01,120 --> 01:10:04,840
Speaker 2: you're but it's not to say that he might not

1418
01:10:04,880 --> 01:10:08,120
Speaker 2: be your person and that you grow with right it's

1419
01:10:08,160 --> 01:10:08,599
Speaker 2: like for me.

1420
01:10:08,560 --> 01:10:11,479
Speaker 5: At twenty three, like I just wanted to like jump

1421
01:10:11,479 --> 01:10:12,200
Speaker 5: your bones.

1422
01:10:12,479 --> 01:10:15,320
Speaker 2: And I get the vibe that she's a little different.

1423
01:10:18,040 --> 01:10:19,880
Speaker 2: I feel like she's more like how I was at

1424
01:10:19,920 --> 01:10:22,479
Speaker 2: twenty three. Honestly, just from this email, which I could

1425
01:10:22,479 --> 01:10:26,680
Speaker 2: be wrong, but it seems like you have your checklist

1426
01:10:26,760 --> 01:10:30,320
Speaker 2: of everything you want. Yeah, and you're like, well, this

1427
01:10:30,400 --> 01:10:32,840
Speaker 2: is what I wrote down, so shouldn't this be it?

1428
01:10:33,600 --> 01:10:36,680
Speaker 2: But I remember someone would I remember people always telling me.

1429
01:10:36,720 --> 01:10:38,200
Speaker 2: When I'd be like, well, this is the type of

1430
01:10:38,200 --> 01:10:40,479
Speaker 2: person I want to be with, they'd be like, well,

1431
01:10:40,560 --> 01:10:44,360
Speaker 2: it all comes down to this like magical thing that

1432
01:10:44,560 --> 01:10:46,479
Speaker 2: is not something you can write down on paper.

1433
01:10:48,400 --> 01:10:51,000
Speaker 4: I think there's an exercise you can kind of do

1434
01:10:51,080 --> 01:10:51,960
Speaker 4: here that'll help you.

1435
01:10:52,080 --> 01:10:53,000
Speaker 3: First of all, the fact that you.

1436
01:10:52,920 --> 01:10:56,320
Speaker 4: Sent us this email is a sign to me that

1437
01:10:56,400 --> 01:11:00,439
Speaker 4: this is not your dude. But I tried this when

1438
01:11:00,479 --> 01:11:05,080
Speaker 4: I was dating people. Imagine yourself at thirty years old,

1439
01:11:05,640 --> 01:11:07,680
Speaker 4: and I want you to really think about it. Think

1440
01:11:07,720 --> 01:11:09,960
Speaker 4: about your job, think about where you want to be living,

1441
01:11:10,000 --> 01:11:11,720
Speaker 4: do you have kids yet? All that stuff, and then

1442
01:11:11,800 --> 01:11:15,280
Speaker 4: picture this guy with you at thirty years old, and

1443
01:11:15,320 --> 01:11:16,599
Speaker 4: how does that make you feel?

1444
01:11:16,680 --> 01:11:19,800
Speaker 3: Is that exciting? Like, Oh, yeah, he'd be a great dad.

1445
01:11:19,840 --> 01:11:21,360
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, I'd love to come home to him

1446
01:11:21,360 --> 01:11:23,360
Speaker 4: every day from this wonderful job I have. Or does

1447
01:11:23,360 --> 01:11:25,680
Speaker 4: it make you think ugh, you know, because if you

1448
01:11:25,720 --> 01:11:27,720
Speaker 4: have that kind of feeling when you think of.

1449
01:11:27,680 --> 01:11:30,240
Speaker 3: Being with him when you're thirty, then you got to go.

1450
01:11:31,200 --> 01:11:34,120
Speaker 4: I think we all dated people that were good people

1451
01:11:34,240 --> 01:11:36,959
Speaker 4: but weren't the one, and that's kind of the impression

1452
01:11:37,000 --> 01:11:40,640
Speaker 4: I'm getting in this situation. One of my worst breakups

1453
01:11:40,680 --> 01:11:43,240
Speaker 4: was when I initiated she was not the one for me.

1454
01:11:43,439 --> 01:11:46,280
Speaker 4: She was great, there was nothing to complain about, there

1455
01:11:46,320 --> 01:11:48,160
Speaker 4: was nothing wrong with her, but I knew it just

1456
01:11:48,439 --> 01:11:50,840
Speaker 4: wasn't there, and so I had to end it.

1457
01:11:51,360 --> 01:11:52,360
Speaker 3: I'm not saying end it.

1458
01:11:52,640 --> 01:11:54,160
Speaker 4: You got to go with your gut, but I would

1459
01:11:54,200 --> 01:11:56,479
Speaker 4: try that kind of picturing your future with him and

1460
01:11:56,520 --> 01:11:58,439
Speaker 4: see how it makes you feel, because that will tell

1461
01:11:58,439 --> 01:11:59,520
Speaker 4: you a lot.

1462
01:12:00,040 --> 01:12:02,280
Speaker 2: That's so funny you said that, Mark, because I remember

1463
01:12:02,439 --> 01:12:05,680
Speaker 2: when I knew that things weren't right with Robert, when

1464
01:12:05,720 --> 01:12:08,840
Speaker 2: we were together and when I ended things, and I

1465
01:12:08,880 --> 01:12:11,000
Speaker 2: remember I think I probably I told everyone. I was like,

1466
01:12:11,320 --> 01:12:13,960
Speaker 2: I almost wish that he had done something to hurt me,

1467
01:12:14,160 --> 01:12:17,599
Speaker 2: because breaking up with him for the only just being

1468
01:12:17,600 --> 01:12:20,760
Speaker 2: that it wasn't right was horrible. Yeah, Like it would

1469
01:12:20,800 --> 01:12:22,600
Speaker 2: have been so much easier to be like, well he

1470
01:12:22,680 --> 01:12:24,720
Speaker 2: cheated on me, or he was horrible to me, but

1471
01:12:24,760 --> 01:12:27,639
Speaker 2: he was so wonderful to me. He was like one

1472
01:12:27,680 --> 01:12:29,680
Speaker 2: of my best friends at that, you know, before we

1473
01:12:29,680 --> 01:12:31,519
Speaker 2: even started dating, is one of my good friends. And

1474
01:12:31,600 --> 01:12:34,800
Speaker 2: so it was horrible to have to make that decision

1475
01:12:35,280 --> 01:12:37,639
Speaker 2: just based on like it isn't right.

1476
01:12:38,400 --> 01:12:40,640
Speaker 5: It's funny. I'm usually the one that is on the

1477
01:12:40,680 --> 01:12:43,360
Speaker 5: receiving end of the dumping. I don't do much dumping

1478
01:12:43,600 --> 01:12:46,240
Speaker 5: of my own. I think I've literally had to end

1479
01:12:46,240 --> 01:12:49,240
Speaker 5: it with two men in my how many that I've

1480
01:12:49,320 --> 01:12:51,920
Speaker 5: dated in however, a lot of years. But one of

1481
01:12:51,920 --> 01:12:53,760
Speaker 5: the ones that I had to like bid a doo to,

1482
01:12:54,520 --> 01:12:58,080
Speaker 5: same thing. Nothing was wrong with him, perfectly cute Madamesisse's wedding.

1483
01:12:58,080 --> 01:13:00,840
Speaker 5: We had mutual friends, Like, everything was fine, it was

1484
01:13:00,920 --> 01:13:02,760
Speaker 5: all good, but I was just like, there's something just

1485
01:13:02,800 --> 01:13:05,559
Speaker 5: not there, like can't put my finger on it. But

1486
01:13:05,600 --> 01:13:08,320
Speaker 5: I was like, I just I can't just keep dating

1487
01:13:08,360 --> 01:13:10,479
Speaker 5: you knowing that there's no intention behind it.

1488
01:13:10,840 --> 01:13:13,439
Speaker 4: And similarly, with Amy, I knew one hundred percent she

1489
01:13:13,560 --> 01:13:16,120
Speaker 4: was the one because I envisioned the future without her

1490
01:13:16,160 --> 01:13:18,439
Speaker 4: and I realized I don't want to spend a single

1491
01:13:18,640 --> 01:13:21,759
Speaker 4: day without this person. The thought of it was horrible.

1492
01:13:22,000 --> 01:13:24,280
Speaker 4: I want to wake up next to her every day

1493
01:13:24,439 --> 01:13:25,639
Speaker 4: for the rest of my life.

1494
01:13:25,920 --> 01:13:27,599
Speaker 3: And that's when I started making a plan.

1495
01:13:27,920 --> 01:13:31,280
Speaker 2: Easton as someone as a male who's a scorpio and

1496
01:13:32,040 --> 01:13:35,519
Speaker 2: doesn't like did not like to plan things. Did you

1497
01:13:35,800 --> 01:13:38,280
Speaker 2: have ever had that with Alison or were you like

1498
01:13:38,920 --> 01:13:40,559
Speaker 2: certain from the momental search.

1499
01:13:40,800 --> 01:13:43,960
Speaker 7: Well, I mean, I've She's always been one of my favorite,

1500
01:13:43,960 --> 01:13:46,400
Speaker 7: if not my absolute favorite person to be around, since

1501
01:13:46,439 --> 01:13:49,000
Speaker 7: the moment I met her. But you know, we had

1502
01:13:49,080 --> 01:13:53,000
Speaker 7: a great early romantic relationship and then we've been dating

1503
01:13:53,000 --> 01:13:54,439
Speaker 7: for like a few years. I think I've talked about

1504
01:13:54,439 --> 01:13:56,640
Speaker 7: this on the podcast before, but we dated for like

1505
01:13:56,680 --> 01:13:57,439
Speaker 7: a few years and thinks.

1506
01:13:57,320 --> 01:13:58,320
Speaker 6: That're going really really well.

1507
01:13:58,439 --> 01:14:01,960
Speaker 7: And of course, like what I talked about earlier, you know,

1508
01:14:02,040 --> 01:14:04,400
Speaker 7: I thought about I was like, I would like to

1509
01:14:04,439 --> 01:14:05,639
Speaker 7: get married to her someday.

1510
01:14:05,720 --> 01:14:06,920
Speaker 6: I don't know when that day is going to be.

1511
01:14:07,000 --> 01:14:08,639
Speaker 7: I would like to be making this amount of money,

1512
01:14:08,640 --> 01:14:10,120
Speaker 7: and I like to be you know, to this point,

1513
01:14:10,600 --> 01:14:12,840
Speaker 7: I just don't know when that's gonna happen. And she

1514
01:14:12,920 --> 01:14:15,160
Speaker 7: brought up to me, She's like, do you want to

1515
01:14:15,160 --> 01:14:19,000
Speaker 7: get married to me? And I said, uh, yes, yes,

1516
01:14:19,720 --> 01:14:20,439
Speaker 7: are you asking me?

1517
01:14:20,600 --> 01:14:21,240
Speaker 6: Where's the ring?

1518
01:14:21,680 --> 01:14:25,519
Speaker 7: And and she was like, well, I mean you should.

1519
01:14:26,080 --> 01:14:29,559
Speaker 7: We should probably do that or else I'm going I'm

1520
01:14:29,640 --> 01:14:34,479
Speaker 7: going to be looking for somebody else. And because because

1521
01:14:34,640 --> 01:14:36,960
Speaker 7: it's like she's she's honest with me, She's like, you know,

1522
01:14:37,080 --> 01:14:41,760
Speaker 7: I'm I'm not eighteen anymore. I'm almost thirty, you know

1523
01:14:42,000 --> 01:14:43,960
Speaker 7: I And that's something I would like to do. I

1524
01:14:44,000 --> 01:14:46,360
Speaker 7: would like to get married and you know, maybe start

1525
01:14:46,360 --> 01:14:49,439
Speaker 7: a family or move on that part of your life.

1526
01:14:49,960 --> 01:14:50,960
Speaker 6: I would like to do that with you.

1527
01:14:51,000 --> 01:14:53,000
Speaker 7: But if not, then I need to know where you're at.

1528
01:14:53,360 --> 01:14:56,920
Speaker 7: And I was like, I've never like gone and gotten

1529
01:14:56,920 --> 01:15:03,040
Speaker 7: a rings so fast. But uh but and it was,

1530
01:15:03,080 --> 01:15:05,920
Speaker 7: you know, and it was it was great and uh again,

1531
01:15:06,000 --> 01:15:08,160
Speaker 7: like the idea, like you know, freaked me out just

1532
01:15:08,160 --> 01:15:10,840
Speaker 7: because I I I kept thinking like, oh, I need

1533
01:15:10,840 --> 01:15:11,800
Speaker 7: to be at this certain point.

1534
01:15:11,840 --> 01:15:13,840
Speaker 6: I'm not going to be ready yet, but you're you're

1535
01:15:13,880 --> 01:15:16,240
Speaker 6: never like you know, you're.

1536
01:15:16,080 --> 01:15:17,519
Speaker 7: Never ready for it. And I turned out to be

1537
01:15:17,640 --> 01:15:20,240
Speaker 7: quite ready. It was fine. It's it's been the best

1538
01:15:20,280 --> 01:15:23,920
Speaker 7: thing ever, like that was the best decision and my

1539
01:15:23,960 --> 01:15:26,960
Speaker 7: life has gotten exponentially better since that moment, Like it's

1540
01:15:26,960 --> 01:15:27,800
Speaker 7: only gotten better.

1541
01:15:29,680 --> 01:15:32,680
Speaker 4: So you cannot wait till the right moment, No, you

1542
01:15:32,720 --> 01:15:34,439
Speaker 4: really can't. It never will happen.

1543
01:15:35,880 --> 01:15:37,320
Speaker 2: Well that's kind of I mean, that's kind of the

1544
01:15:37,360 --> 01:15:40,240
Speaker 2: same thing. It's like Mark, you had that thought of

1545
01:15:40,320 --> 01:15:43,200
Speaker 2: like could I see myself without her? And then Easton

1546
01:15:43,320 --> 01:15:44,920
Speaker 2: was she was kind of like, I'm going to find

1547
01:15:44,920 --> 01:15:46,720
Speaker 2: someone else if it's not going to be you, And

1548
01:15:46,760 --> 01:15:49,560
Speaker 2: it was kind of that same thing of like that's ridiculous,

1549
01:15:50,040 --> 01:15:50,479
Speaker 2: that's true.

1550
01:15:50,600 --> 01:15:50,840
Speaker 3: It is.

1551
01:15:50,920 --> 01:15:55,120
Speaker 7: Yeah, you know, there's a there's a there's a little

1552
01:15:55,160 --> 01:15:59,280
Speaker 7: Dicky song with uh no no with the guy from

1553
01:15:59,280 --> 01:16:02,880
Speaker 7: Panka Branda near he is and he says something like

1554
01:16:04,120 --> 01:16:09,120
Speaker 7: uh like oh oh, like you could find another me tomorrow,

1555
01:16:09,240 --> 01:16:12,280
Speaker 7: but you're the only one I want to follow it

1556
01:16:12,360 --> 01:16:14,400
Speaker 7: something like that. But I remember thinking that, like I'm like,

1557
01:16:14,520 --> 01:16:16,439
Speaker 7: oh gosh, she could she could find another Eastern, Like

1558
01:16:16,439 --> 01:16:18,800
Speaker 7: in two seconds. I will never meet someone else like her, though,

1559
01:16:19,280 --> 01:16:20,160
Speaker 7: like like this.

1560
01:16:20,080 --> 01:16:21,519
Speaker 6: Is my this is my chance.

1561
01:16:22,080 --> 01:16:24,000
Speaker 2: I don't think either of y'all would have been able

1562
01:16:24,040 --> 01:16:26,680
Speaker 2: to find another one of you.

1563
01:16:28,360 --> 01:16:30,720
Speaker 7: Well, I mean I like to think so, but you know, yeah,

1564
01:16:30,760 --> 01:16:34,519
Speaker 7: he had always had that dicky yeah.

1565
01:16:36,680 --> 01:16:39,439
Speaker 3: Wisdom real quick before we go.

1566
01:16:39,680 --> 01:16:42,439
Speaker 4: Sarah and Milwaukee is concerned because her friends are all

1567
01:16:42,479 --> 01:16:44,680
Speaker 4: going out and partying and she's nervous about that, and

1568
01:16:44,680 --> 01:16:46,880
Speaker 4: she wants advice for these situations where you're on a

1569
01:16:46,880 --> 01:16:50,120
Speaker 4: completely different page from your friends in terms of the pandemic.

1570
01:16:50,160 --> 01:16:50,640
Speaker 3: What do you do?

1571
01:16:51,080 --> 01:16:53,200
Speaker 2: I luckily all my friends are kind of on the

1572
01:16:53,240 --> 01:16:56,120
Speaker 2: same page, and anyone who's been out do like I said,

1573
01:16:56,120 --> 01:16:57,960
Speaker 2: like my sister wanted to go see her friends, so

1574
01:16:58,000 --> 01:17:00,720
Speaker 2: I'm like, hey, well you got a quarantine before you

1575
01:17:00,800 --> 01:17:02,840
Speaker 2: come back to my place. You need to quarantine without

1576
01:17:02,840 --> 01:17:06,360
Speaker 2: seeing anyone. And so I've been a little more on

1577
01:17:06,439 --> 01:17:09,559
Speaker 2: the cautious side for sure. But I feel like most

1578
01:17:09,600 --> 01:17:13,120
Speaker 2: of my close friends that if we've seen each other,

1579
01:17:13,200 --> 01:17:15,240
Speaker 2: they've all been on the same page and been like

1580
01:17:15,439 --> 01:17:19,800
Speaker 2: very respectful of the situation. But I know that I

1581
01:17:19,800 --> 01:17:22,080
Speaker 2: would really struggle with that because.

1582
01:17:22,120 --> 01:17:26,719
Speaker 5: I have some friends that are very like not seeing

1583
01:17:26,840 --> 01:17:30,519
Speaker 5: human beings, yeah, just not like I've only had to

1584
01:17:30,560 --> 01:17:35,280
Speaker 5: see them from like distant with masks like yeah, And

1585
01:17:35,320 --> 01:17:38,280
Speaker 5: I think you just have to respect everybody's level of comfortability.

1586
01:17:38,320 --> 01:17:40,960
Speaker 5: You know what I mean, Like, yeah, but I.

1587
01:17:40,880 --> 01:17:42,840
Speaker 2: Think she's saying if her friends are going out and

1588
01:17:42,880 --> 01:17:46,200
Speaker 2: like partying and doing things without being like careful, but

1589
01:17:46,600 --> 01:17:47,639
Speaker 2: they want to hang out.

1590
01:17:47,439 --> 01:17:49,800
Speaker 5: With her, and she just she can't hang out with them,

1591
01:17:49,880 --> 01:17:51,200
Speaker 5: or she can hang out them from a distance with

1592
01:17:51,240 --> 01:17:53,800
Speaker 5: the mask. Yeah, if you're uncomfortable, if people are doing

1593
01:17:53,880 --> 01:17:57,080
Speaker 5: things that make you uncomfortable. And I think, like for me,

1594
01:17:57,240 --> 01:17:59,800
Speaker 5: I have some friends that are uncomfortable that I go

1595
01:17:59,800 --> 01:18:01,519
Speaker 5: to the grocery store, you know, like I'm going to

1596
01:18:01,600 --> 01:18:03,160
Speaker 5: go to the grocery store. I wear a mask and

1597
01:18:03,200 --> 01:18:05,720
Speaker 5: I wash my hands. I am being very diligent, but yes,

1598
01:18:05,720 --> 01:18:08,160
Speaker 5: I am going to the grocery store. And they're uncomfortable

1599
01:18:08,160 --> 01:18:09,840
Speaker 5: by that. So it's fine. So I'll meet them and

1600
01:18:09,880 --> 01:18:13,120
Speaker 5: we'll sit at a park and we'll you know, hang distantly, right,

1601
01:18:13,240 --> 01:18:14,920
Speaker 5: and it's fine, you know. I mean, I think you

1602
01:18:15,000 --> 01:18:19,280
Speaker 5: just have to respect each other both ways, but.

1603
01:18:19,280 --> 01:18:21,680
Speaker 4: Also don't be pressured in doing something uncomfortable with And

1604
01:18:21,680 --> 01:18:23,320
Speaker 4: I think the way I would handle that is when

1605
01:18:23,320 --> 01:18:25,479
Speaker 4: I try to make a decision, I try to envision both.

1606
01:18:25,600 --> 01:18:28,960
Speaker 4: This is the same stuff I've started out before, envision

1607
01:18:29,000 --> 01:18:33,120
Speaker 4: both scenarios. Would you ever regret not going out to

1608
01:18:33,200 --> 01:18:35,880
Speaker 4: this party or this festival or whatever it is. I

1609
01:18:35,880 --> 01:18:38,800
Speaker 4: don't think you would. Would you ever regret going? Yeah,

1610
01:18:38,800 --> 01:18:41,040
Speaker 4: there's a real good chance you would regret that. So

1611
01:18:41,280 --> 01:18:42,320
Speaker 4: that's where I am on this.

1612
01:18:45,200 --> 01:18:45,559
Speaker 3: All right.

1613
01:18:45,600 --> 01:18:47,880
Speaker 4: Also, before we go, happy birthday to a couple other

1614
01:18:47,880 --> 01:18:49,840
Speaker 4: people who are share my birthday in the Facebook group,

1615
01:18:49,880 --> 01:18:52,360
Speaker 4: Megan Lucia, Happy Birthday. I didn't want to just single

1616
01:18:52,360 --> 01:18:55,880
Speaker 4: out Gianna and Happy birthday Caroline Petrie all have birthdays

1617
01:18:55,960 --> 01:18:59,760
Speaker 4: on this glorious July the thirteenth, and also tell them

1618
01:18:59,800 --> 01:19:00,639
Speaker 4: about the new merch.

1619
01:19:00,680 --> 01:19:07,000
Speaker 2: You guys, Oh my gosh, let us tell you. Okay,

1620
01:19:07,320 --> 01:19:14,280
Speaker 2: So we really wanted to incorporate scrubbing in into our merch.

1621
01:19:14,880 --> 01:19:20,880
Speaker 2: So we went literal and we created a scrubbing in

1622
01:19:21,160 --> 01:19:25,439
Speaker 2: dish scrubber, which these make me so excited, Like every

1623
01:19:25,479 --> 01:19:29,080
Speaker 2: time I get a new one, I feel renewed, refreshed.

1624
01:19:29,760 --> 01:19:31,879
Speaker 2: They're so cute. You have to go to the website

1625
01:19:31,880 --> 01:19:33,840
Speaker 2: to check it out. But they are a little dish

1626
01:19:33,840 --> 01:19:36,040
Speaker 2: scrubber that you put your dish soap in and it

1627
01:19:36,080 --> 01:19:37,320
Speaker 2: says scrubbing in on it.

1628
01:19:37,360 --> 01:19:41,480
Speaker 5: Because we all know that we are scrubbers here, not spongers.

1629
01:19:41,760 --> 01:19:44,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, we also added tell them what we added

1630
01:19:44,840 --> 01:19:45,479
Speaker 2: to We.

1631
01:19:45,439 --> 01:19:47,960
Speaker 5: Also have a really cute circle beach towel. It's teal

1632
01:19:48,040 --> 01:19:49,800
Speaker 5: and it has scrubbing in written on the corner, which

1633
01:19:49,840 --> 01:19:52,080
Speaker 5: is really cute because like, circular towels are like all

1634
01:19:52,080 --> 01:19:52,719
Speaker 5: the rage.

1635
01:19:52,520 --> 01:19:55,519
Speaker 2: Right now, They're so cute. And then a.

1636
01:19:55,520 --> 01:19:58,800
Speaker 5: Turkish towel that has uh scrubbing in embroidered on it,

1637
01:19:58,840 --> 01:20:02,480
Speaker 5: which is really cute. I actually use my Turkish towels

1638
01:20:02,800 --> 01:20:05,960
Speaker 5: very often. I've been taking mine to my picnics during quarantine.

1639
01:20:06,200 --> 01:20:08,679
Speaker 5: So very excited that we have our own Turkish towels now.

1640
01:20:08,680 --> 01:20:10,920
Speaker 2: I don't know, it feels very official and a portion

1641
01:20:11,040 --> 01:20:13,760
Speaker 2: of the proceeds will go to no Kid Hungry. So

1642
01:20:14,080 --> 01:20:17,599
Speaker 2: head over to myfanthreads dot com slash scrubbing in today

1643
01:20:17,720 --> 01:20:20,519
Speaker 2: and they restalk to the hats, which I was getting

1644
01:20:20,560 --> 01:20:22,640
Speaker 2: so many messages about. So now you can get your

1645
01:20:22,640 --> 01:20:27,560
Speaker 2: scrubbing in hat, your scrubber, your dish scrubber, or your towels.

1646
01:20:27,720 --> 01:20:29,800
Speaker 2: It's all there for you. So go check that out

1647
01:20:30,400 --> 01:20:31,840
Speaker 2: before they sell out again.

1648
01:20:32,439 --> 01:20:37,520
Speaker 5: Well, it's been a lengthy one today, guys, SOMs guests.

1649
01:20:37,800 --> 01:20:38,519
Speaker 2: Yeah, guess what.

1650
01:20:40,080 --> 01:20:42,680
Speaker 5: Somehow we talked for almost two hours.

1651
01:20:43,000 --> 01:20:45,559
Speaker 2: It's normally how it goes. There's a lot to sometimes

1652
01:20:45,600 --> 01:20:46,760
Speaker 2: there's just a lot to say.

1653
01:20:47,200 --> 01:20:50,240
Speaker 5: It's a lot to say. Happy birthday, Mark, we love

1654
01:20:50,280 --> 01:20:55,360
Speaker 5: you and we will see you guys next Monday. And

1655
01:20:55,880 --> 01:20:57,720
Speaker 5: we want to do a man panel. So if you

1656
01:20:57,720 --> 01:21:00,320
Speaker 5: guys go into our Facebook group and leave us questions

1657
01:21:00,800 --> 01:21:03,120
Speaker 5: directed to men, we would like to ask Mark and

1658
01:21:03,240 --> 01:21:06,280
Speaker 5: easton their responses.

1659
01:21:06,360 --> 01:21:09,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, one of us will start like a post so

1660
01:21:09,840 --> 01:21:12,040
Speaker 2: that y'all can It can be a master post so

1661
01:21:12,080 --> 01:21:13,439
Speaker 2: everyone can respond under there.

1662
01:21:13,560 --> 01:21:18,280
Speaker 5: Great, and that's it for today. Enjoy your week. Everybody's

1663
01:21:18,360 --> 01:21:20,240
Speaker 5: fread love, hope and positivity.

1664
01:21:21,120 --> 01:21:23,360
Speaker 2: All right, We love you guys, See you next time.