WEBVTT - Jay Leno 0:00:00.560 --> 0:00:03.760 My name is Craig Ferguson. The name of this podcast 0:00:04.120 --> 0:00:08.560 is joy. I talk to interest in people about what 0:00:08.600 --> 0:00:14.680 brings them happiness. Here's my favorite car collector. I think 0:00:14.680 --> 0:00:16.360 he had a late night show at some point I 0:00:16.400 --> 0:00:17.040 can't remember. 0:00:17.720 --> 0:00:28.600 Here he is Jelena. All right, we're up. So here's 0:00:28.600 --> 0:00:30.560 the thing. So we're not no video? 0:00:31.160 --> 0:00:34.360 No, Well, here's the thing why I no video because 0:00:34.720 --> 0:00:37.040 this is the reason why I don't do it, because 0:00:37.080 --> 0:00:42.320 people like you, some performers want so much makeup and 0:00:42.440 --> 0:00:43.080 hair done. 0:00:43.680 --> 0:00:46.559 Yeah not me, no, no you. 0:00:47.440 --> 0:00:49.479 So I tell you what I'm doing right here, right 0:00:49.560 --> 0:00:51.760 right as I'm enjoying a cup of coffee. 0:00:52.080 --> 0:00:58.120 Now, I know that you don't drink coffee. 0:00:58.440 --> 0:01:00.680 No, don't drink coffee, and you don't apocops. I ever 0:01:00.720 --> 0:01:03.680 had of Seinfeldt on comedians and cars getting confident. 0:01:04.000 --> 0:01:07.399 It was awful. You know, I don't like hot liquids. 0:01:07.480 --> 0:01:09.479 Now, see this is but this is what about soup? 0:01:09.520 --> 0:01:10.559 Does soup come into. 0:01:10.480 --> 0:01:12.479 The soup is just a way to screw you out 0:01:12.520 --> 0:01:13.000 of a meal? 0:01:15.760 --> 0:01:16.280 Enough soup. 0:01:16.319 --> 0:01:19.880 Oh, here's a bowl and it's wet, thanks so having 0:01:19.880 --> 0:01:22.320 a wet bowl, yeah, something I can chew, thank you. 0:01:22.360 --> 0:01:23.920 But Hold on a second. 0:01:24.120 --> 0:01:26.120 Is it because it's a whole liquid or because it's 0:01:26.120 --> 0:01:27.080 just a liquid. 0:01:27.720 --> 0:01:31.039 It's not a meal? Does it have to be a meal? 0:01:32.480 --> 0:01:35.440 Yeah? But you but you won't have soup because it's 0:01:35.440 --> 0:01:35.880 a drink. 0:01:35.880 --> 0:01:37.400 Well, plus, I don't like hot liquid. 0:01:39.440 --> 0:01:42.080 If you don't like, what about gaspacho or maybe a 0:01:42.120 --> 0:01:44.040 cold borche No horrible? 0:01:44.520 --> 0:01:46.960 So so really it's about liquid. Do you ever drink 0:01:47.000 --> 0:01:48.440 any liquids at all? Yeah? 0:01:48.440 --> 0:01:51.320 I drink a lot of water, a lot of fruit juice. 0:01:51.360 --> 0:01:51.960 You drink beer? 0:01:52.160 --> 0:01:53.400 No, never had a beer in my life. 0:01:53.440 --> 0:01:55.520 You never had a beer. Never a beer. You ever 0:01:55.560 --> 0:01:57.200 drink any of the hoots at all? No? 0:01:57.280 --> 0:01:59.760 No, No, I have nothing to guess that. I have 0:01:59.840 --> 0:02:03.200 no interesting And I was always a designated driver. I 0:02:03.320 --> 0:02:05.040 was always a car guy. So to me, it's not 0:02:05.200 --> 0:02:07.240 true because you love the car. I'll drive you Jerk's 0:02:07.240 --> 0:02:08.440 home and that's fine. 0:02:08.360 --> 0:02:14.160 All right. So you so very few liqu and no soup. Well, 0:02:14.200 --> 0:02:15.520 I see I'm worried that. 0:02:15.880 --> 0:02:16.080 You know. 0:02:16.200 --> 0:02:18.600 Look, none of us are getting younger, jay right right, 0:02:18.720 --> 0:02:21.240 So the certain point in life, soup is kind of 0:02:21.520 --> 0:02:23.040 gets attractive to the older gin. 0:02:23.360 --> 0:02:24.080 That's all I'm saying. 0:02:24.200 --> 0:02:25.799 Seventy three and I haven't been there yet. 0:02:25.960 --> 0:02:27.960 Well that you're just saying that you know that there 0:02:28.000 --> 0:02:30.160 was your souper years. Maybe coming up and get used 0:02:30.200 --> 0:02:33.560 to it, let's hope not all right? So listen, your 0:02:33.600 --> 0:02:38.440 mother was Scottish and my mother was Scotish. And my 0:02:38.560 --> 0:02:41.880 wife has a theory about stand up comedians that their 0:02:41.880 --> 0:02:46.160 mothers have to be Scottish or they have to be 0:02:47.280 --> 0:02:49.080 cold with bad boundaries. 0:02:49.919 --> 0:02:52.600 So my mom was not cold. My parents are very 0:02:52.600 --> 0:02:53.160 good that way. 0:02:53.360 --> 0:02:55.680 She have good boundaries. I don't know what you mean 0:02:55.720 --> 0:02:58.280 by boundaries. Well you know, and not do I but 0:02:58.440 --> 0:02:59.679 you know a lot of people talk about it. 0:03:00.120 --> 0:03:02.079 Well you know, how long are you in Hollywood? In 0:03:02.080 --> 0:03:04.239 an hour now? And you've got boundaries? 0:03:04.520 --> 0:03:05.960 Yeah, I mean I'm just wondering that. 0:03:06.040 --> 0:03:07.200 You see, I never heard any of it. 0:03:07.320 --> 0:03:07.480 You know. 0:03:07.520 --> 0:03:09.520 It's so funny where I grew up, I was the 0:03:09.639 --> 0:03:10.600 laziest person. 0:03:10.400 --> 0:03:13.040 That anybody knew. I come here, Oh, Jay's the hardest 0:03:13.040 --> 0:03:16.120 working guy. No, it's just where you grow up. It's 0:03:16.160 --> 0:03:18.640 that you know, you grew up in New England with 0:03:19.000 --> 0:03:22.280 Silence Manor and Ethan Frome and all these depressing books 0:03:22.280 --> 0:03:23.200 about fresh. 0:03:22.960 --> 0:03:25.560 Yet you work hard that you die, then you got Littlematoya? 0:03:26.200 --> 0:03:27.200 Is it you die. 0:03:27.080 --> 0:03:31.080 After you get and then you die whatever it is. 0:03:31.200 --> 0:03:33.600 Yeah, it's just all life is awful, you know, Sonny, 0:03:33.639 --> 0:03:35.560 you comes to Hollywood and all the lights of ride 0:03:35.560 --> 0:03:37.160 and it's sunny outside. 0:03:36.680 --> 0:03:38.560 And wage were you when you came here? 0:03:39.480 --> 0:03:42.680 I started coming here, I guess when I was nineteen 0:03:42.760 --> 0:03:46.480 twenty something like that, not in nineteen twenty nine, when. 0:03:46.360 --> 0:03:48.760 You were nineteen twenty nine. But here's the thing. 0:03:49.120 --> 0:03:50.920 You came out here to do comedy because you're you're 0:03:50.920 --> 0:03:53.520 Boston right right, right right? So did you ever do 0:03:53.600 --> 0:03:55.360 stand up in Boston before you came out here? 0:03:55.400 --> 0:03:55.560 Oh? 0:03:55.640 --> 0:03:59.320 Yeah, you know that was a great thing because growing 0:03:59.400 --> 0:04:03.280 up in Boston then I never met another stand up comedian. 0:04:03.360 --> 0:04:07.360 Occasionally comedians would come to like the Chateau to Ville 0:04:07.440 --> 0:04:10.080 in Framingham. It was one of those fancy well yeah, 0:04:10.080 --> 0:04:12.720 it's one of those places like near a mall and 0:04:12.760 --> 0:04:16.120 it's got like a fountain in front. That I worked 0:04:16.120 --> 0:04:18.560 there with Tom Jones, I worked there with Perry Como, 0:04:19.320 --> 0:04:22.479 I like Dion Warwick, you know all those acts from 0:04:22.520 --> 0:04:25.560 that era. Yeah, yeah, and that was and that was 0:04:25.800 --> 0:04:28.320 an opening act that was literally wanted. 0:04:28.120 --> 0:04:29.880 To you wanted to be a stand up dot Young 0:04:30.360 --> 0:04:33.400 at nineteen and twenty years old. Oh yeah, you got 0:04:33.440 --> 0:04:35.799 to be sucked up in some way then, because nobody 0:04:35.800 --> 0:04:36.800 wants to be a stand up. 0:04:36.800 --> 0:04:38.080 Why wouldn't you want to be a standard? 0:04:38.120 --> 0:04:40.520 Well back in the day, nobody wants. I mean nowadays 0:04:40.520 --> 0:04:41.120 people want to do it. 0:04:42.320 --> 0:04:42.760 Interesting. 0:04:42.960 --> 0:04:46.520 I when I watched TV, Yeah, all comedians were middle 0:04:46.520 --> 0:04:52.400 aged Jewish men like Rodney, like Henny Youngman, all those guys, 0:04:52.480 --> 0:04:56.040 all all the catskill comics. And then all of a sudden, 0:04:56.240 --> 0:04:58.719 Robert Klein came along. Was a huge influence on me. 0:04:58.839 --> 0:05:01.080 Robert was about ten years old than me, and he 0:05:01.240 --> 0:05:05.360 was a middle class kid. Parents weren't wealthy, but he 0:05:05.400 --> 0:05:07.919 didn't grow up doing the depression, just talking about the 0:05:07.960 --> 0:05:10.479 same kind of things I talked about. And then Carlin 0:05:10.720 --> 0:05:15.400 at that point had just about nineteen seventy early seventy 0:05:15.400 --> 0:05:19.680 to one released his Class Clown album. And I used 0:05:19.680 --> 0:05:22.760 to do George's routines in my head, and I'm doing 0:05:22.880 --> 0:05:25.320 silent to myself, and then I'd add my own jokes 0:05:25.360 --> 0:05:27.760 at the end. So when I would go to audition 0:05:27.800 --> 0:05:31.240 to places, I would stand backstage. I'd get into it 0:05:31.240 --> 0:05:33.560 by doing George's thing, and then when I walked, I say, 0:05:33.880 --> 0:05:34.880 you know, when I have school. 0:05:35.000 --> 0:05:35.720 You know I didn't. 0:05:35.760 --> 0:05:38.320 I didn't do any George's material, but I just to 0:05:38.360 --> 0:05:39.400 get a rhythm to it. 0:05:39.440 --> 0:05:42.480 You know that's interesting. Yeah, And were you friendly with George. 0:05:42.640 --> 0:05:44.560 Yeah, it's very new judge. From the very beginning. It 0:05:44.600 --> 0:05:45.560 was always very nice to me. 0:05:45.640 --> 0:05:46.400 So was client. 0:05:46.640 --> 0:05:49.800 You know, all comics are pretty nice. Steve Martin helped 0:05:49.839 --> 0:05:51.719 me get this, and I show Steve Martin told Johnny 0:05:51.720 --> 0:05:54.919 about me. I chose Johnny about Ellen DeGeneres. I find 0:05:54.920 --> 0:05:58.200 comedians help other comedians. I don't find it to be this. 0:05:58.440 --> 0:06:01.160 I mean, there were there obviously some thrown people around, 0:06:01.200 --> 0:06:04.839 and that's not unusual, but it's not the norm. You know, 0:06:05.040 --> 0:06:07.960 as a comic, you can't do every job. If I 0:06:08.000 --> 0:06:10.360 couldn't get something, I go, oh, you should. Like there's 0:06:10.400 --> 0:06:13.000 a gig I do in Rhode Island. I at the 0:06:13.080 --> 0:06:16.440 Orderam Museum. It's it's kind of like Pebble Beach East. 0:06:16.720 --> 0:06:19.680 It's like it's a car show and I've hosted it 0:06:19.680 --> 0:06:21.240 for the last four or five years. But I'm out 0:06:21.279 --> 0:06:23.520 of material at this point. You know, I said, oh, 0:06:23.520 --> 0:06:24.000 I'm being. 0:06:23.839 --> 0:06:27.800 Bi Billy Gardell, and so I brought you know, Billy Gardell. 0:06:27.640 --> 0:06:29.160 Great guy, wonderful comic. 0:06:29.240 --> 0:06:31.640 Yeah yeah, and he did a great job. He killed 0:06:31.640 --> 0:06:34.480 and I felt good that I helped him. He felt good. 0:06:34.480 --> 0:06:36.080 They got to do a corporate day that paid a 0:06:36.080 --> 0:06:37.920 lot of money and it was fun. 0:06:38.040 --> 0:06:40.560 So I'm so wait, hello, you and I be friends 0:06:40.600 --> 0:06:42.160 for a while. You didn't think of putting me up 0:06:42.160 --> 0:06:43.320 for the fucking corporate. 0:06:43.080 --> 0:06:46.839 No, I never never thought, actually what to do it? 0:06:46.880 --> 0:06:47.279 Next year? 0:06:47.360 --> 0:06:49.640 Yeah, I'll do it next year. I'll get it. Yeah, yeah, okay, 0:06:49.680 --> 0:06:52.200 because let me just say it's on the East Coast. 0:06:52.240 --> 0:06:55.280 I like the idea cars and like car gotta work, 0:06:55.320 --> 0:06:57.760 you gotta work reasonably clean, super. 0:06:57.880 --> 0:07:01.400 I did gigs with you, right, Yeah, let's do it. 0:07:01.440 --> 0:07:02.120 I'll do it. Yeah. 0:07:02.240 --> 0:07:05.440 I don't mind working clean. The older I get and fight, 0:07:05.480 --> 0:07:07.440 the easier it gets to work clean. I've noticed that. 0:07:07.600 --> 0:07:11.800 Well, you know, I find when you're twenty five, yeah, 0:07:11.840 --> 0:07:14.080 and you say the word pussy girls go oh, well, 0:07:14.120 --> 0:07:16.920 we said, oh my god, when you're sixty five ooh, 0:07:17.280 --> 0:07:19.680 not old guys. 0:07:20.920 --> 0:07:22.880 And you know what, they got a point, Yeah, exactly, 0:07:23.000 --> 0:07:24.240 it is. It's true. It's true. 0:07:24.480 --> 0:07:27.720 You know, it's fun to grow INDI I act yeah, 0:07:27.840 --> 0:07:30.760 because my point of view is always from an adult 0:07:30.840 --> 0:07:33.440 observing things, how stupid this is or whatever it is, 0:07:33.840 --> 0:07:36.040 you know, And as a young person it didn't work 0:07:36.120 --> 0:07:38.480 quite as well as it does now. Now you can 0:07:38.520 --> 0:07:39.880 be a bit curmudgeously. 0:07:40.480 --> 0:07:41.280 And I was. 0:07:41.240 --> 0:07:43.720 Struck by your stand up, like when we were working 0:07:43.760 --> 0:07:47.040 in the Midwest this summer, like you threw it down. Man, 0:07:47.120 --> 0:07:49.120 it's like a full solid hour and you and like 0:07:49.160 --> 0:07:50.680 the material is fresh and. 0:07:50.640 --> 0:07:52.200 Well you try to have a joke every six to 0:07:52.280 --> 0:07:54.800 nine seconds. That's that's I think, really you see it. 0:07:54.760 --> 0:07:56.360 Because I don't think of it like that. I don't. 0:07:56.400 --> 0:07:59.880 I mean, everybody's different, it's just different to me. 0:08:00.040 --> 0:08:01.040 It's like a music show. 0:08:01.120 --> 0:08:04.080 You open with your hits boom boom boom joke, junke 0:08:04.200 --> 0:08:06.440 junk junk joke, and then in the middle you do 0:08:06.600 --> 0:08:09.840 the comedic version of a battle. You tell story, Oh 0:08:09.880 --> 0:08:11.520 you know, my ipe and I would go to this place, 0:08:12.280 --> 0:08:15.160 and there are little humorous jokes along the way, as 0:08:15.160 --> 0:08:17.040 opposed to That's. 0:08:16.960 --> 0:08:19.360 Very interesting to me because I do think of it 0:08:19.480 --> 0:08:22.240 in kind of musical terms. Yeah, as well, it's a 0:08:22.320 --> 0:08:24.440 it's kind of a musical perform Are you musicians? 0:08:24.440 --> 0:08:27.040 You play anything I played trumpet, but then I realized 0:08:27.080 --> 0:08:28.960 I couldn't talk and play trumpet at the same time. 0:08:29.000 --> 0:08:30.800 That's a terrible instrument for you to play. 0:08:31.120 --> 0:08:31.960 You should play like. 0:08:31.880 --> 0:08:35.319 A guitar in fourth grade at the time. Jay, I'm 0:08:35.320 --> 0:08:36.720 going to tell you something right now. You know I 0:08:36.760 --> 0:08:37.280 adore you. 0:08:37.320 --> 0:08:39.600 But because you played trumpet in fourth grade doesn't mean 0:08:39.600 --> 0:08:42.080 you played fucking trumpet right exactly. 0:08:42.120 --> 0:08:43.959 That's why I quickly got rid of it. 0:08:44.800 --> 0:08:46.800 But you do see, I think a lot of the 0:08:46.840 --> 0:08:51.080 stand ups that I like are also the thinking musical 0:08:51.280 --> 0:08:52.319 terms of what they do. 0:08:52.360 --> 0:08:55.000 You know, the most musical comic I can think of 0:08:55.040 --> 0:08:55.959 as Franklin a Ji. 0:08:56.080 --> 0:08:57.840 You know Franklin, I don't know. 0:08:58.080 --> 0:09:01.720 African American comic very big in America. 0:09:03.200 --> 0:09:04.120 He had an album out. 0:09:04.040 --> 0:09:06.000 Thirty forty years he moved to Australia. 0:09:06.320 --> 0:09:06.480 Right. 0:09:06.760 --> 0:09:10.760 He's a jazz comedian. He plays jazz and he does 0:09:10.840 --> 0:09:13.240 kind of it. He has one of my favorite bits. 0:09:13.280 --> 0:09:15.640 He talks about the guy. Oh, there was an Olympic 0:09:15.720 --> 0:09:19.400 guy from some country and he ran in the marathon 0:09:19.480 --> 0:09:23.160 and he came last. He was dead last, and he 0:09:23.320 --> 0:09:27.120 just as he's running, he's going on. I mean, I've 0:09:27.120 --> 0:09:30.280 been training, I've been working a I could have sat 0:09:30.280 --> 0:09:32.600 on a couch and watch TV. I'd still be last. 0:09:34.320 --> 0:09:36.480 I mean, it does a lot more to it than that. 0:09:36.800 --> 0:09:37.800 He does a lot better, but. 0:09:38.320 --> 0:09:42.360 It's just very funny and he just thinks in jazz terms. 0:09:42.840 --> 0:09:44.360 You know, I was fortunate I got to work with 0:09:44.400 --> 0:09:48.400 all the great jazz musicians, Miles Davis stands against Mose Allison, 0:09:48.440 --> 0:09:51.120 A Montremal, Rousson, Roland Kirk, all these guys. 0:09:51.760 --> 0:09:55.400 And with jazz. There was a place called Lenny's on 0:09:55.400 --> 0:09:57.520 the Turnpike in Boston, Okay, and. 0:09:57.440 --> 0:10:00.960 That was a jazz club and real hard called Buddy Rich, 0:10:01.120 --> 0:10:03.640 real hardcore jazz, the real deal. You went to see 0:10:03.640 --> 0:10:06.480 that and the first time because usually I used to 0:10:06.480 --> 0:10:11.720 play scriptnized, but now you suck suck. People just screamed, 0:10:11.720 --> 0:10:13.280 so you really didn't know if you're any good or 0:10:13.320 --> 0:10:16.000 not right. But with the jazz, onis man and walked 0:10:16.040 --> 0:10:16.920 on say silence. 0:10:18.120 --> 0:10:19.920 Did they noted and snap their fingers? 0:10:20.120 --> 0:10:22.400 You know, not quite that much, but they would listen, 0:10:22.480 --> 0:10:26.400 you know, like Miles's audience, any of those audiences, I went, oh, 0:10:26.440 --> 0:10:28.240 this is really you know ross sound. 0:10:28.280 --> 0:10:28.559 Roland. 0:10:28.720 --> 0:10:30.120 I don't know if you've ever heard of him, he 0:10:30.200 --> 0:10:31.360 might be before your time. 0:10:31.480 --> 0:10:32.200 It's possible. 0:10:32.360 --> 0:10:35.559 Ros sound Roland correct. African American guy, blind, right. 0:10:35.640 --> 0:10:39.640 But famous because he could hold a note indefinitely, and 0:10:39.679 --> 0:10:41.400 he could play two instimits in the same time. He 0:10:41.400 --> 0:10:44.320 could play the sacks and the clarinet at the same time. 0:10:45.080 --> 0:10:47.480 And that's crazy. How does that even pause? 0:10:47.520 --> 0:10:48.760 Because he could breathe through his nose. 0:10:48.840 --> 0:10:53.120 Okay, okay, but he was blind. 0:10:53.720 --> 0:10:57.400 So and we played primarily African American artists. It places 0:10:57.480 --> 0:11:00.160 like the Sugar Shack in Boston, and he would go 0:11:00.240 --> 0:11:01.679 on stage and you go, I'm gonna. 0:11:01.480 --> 0:11:04.000 Bring out a young brother. I Probab's gonna tell that 0:11:04.120 --> 0:11:06.080 it is, you know. He gives the whole thing like 0:11:06.120 --> 0:11:06.840 I was a black head. 0:11:06.960 --> 0:11:08.120 Yeah, please welcome j. 0:11:08.240 --> 0:11:11.280 Letto, you know, and I come out and go. 0:11:12.520 --> 0:11:14.600 He doesn't. 0:11:14.800 --> 0:11:17.439 And he thought that was the funniest thing, right. He 0:11:17.840 --> 0:11:20.559 loved doing that routine every night with people, bring on 0:11:20.640 --> 0:11:21.160 a young. 0:11:21.000 --> 0:11:23.400 Brother, tell it like it is, Yeah, who you know? 0:11:23.920 --> 0:11:25.600 Black audience is. I get all worked up, you know, 0:11:25.640 --> 0:11:27.720 and then I walk out, what's this? 0:11:28.000 --> 0:11:31.920 You know, here's the thing because you talk about that 0:11:32.280 --> 0:11:35.160 right now, like you even telling that story to me 0:11:35.280 --> 0:11:38.600 right now, like people are going to get bent out 0:11:38.600 --> 0:11:41.880 of shape because of you know, you mentioned race of 0:11:41.880 --> 0:11:44.480 any kind and this, you know, different races of any kind. 0:11:44.720 --> 0:11:46.679 And people are already on the balls of their feet 0:11:46.720 --> 0:11:49.319 looking for a fight, which I kind of I'm getting 0:11:49.320 --> 0:11:50.000 a little tired of it. 0:11:50.000 --> 0:11:52.080 I think everyone else is too, does it. 0:11:53.080 --> 0:11:55.760 I'm the best one happened a couple of months ago. Yeah, 0:11:56.160 --> 0:11:59.640 my wife maybe in a little Chinese restaurant Westwood. It's 0:11:59.640 --> 0:12:03.360 got like fourteen tables if that many, and the mother 0:12:03.480 --> 0:12:05.800 runs the cashier and takes the orders, and the dad's 0:12:05.800 --> 0:12:08.040 to cook, and it looks like the kids or cousins. 0:12:08.160 --> 0:12:09.040 It looks like a family. 0:12:10.280 --> 0:12:12.160 So we got our food and sitting there and you're 0:12:12.240 --> 0:12:14.880 kind of it's right next to UCLA. In fact, it 0:12:14.920 --> 0:12:18.280 is UCLA, and a lot of students are on the table. 0:12:18.920 --> 0:12:21.000 I just said to my wife, God, this woman's really 0:12:21.000 --> 0:12:24.880 working her ass off. And a girl in the next table, 0:12:25.240 --> 0:12:26.600 or a young woman at the next. 0:12:26.400 --> 0:12:31.200 Table, goes, uh, she's a server. And I said there, 0:12:31.880 --> 0:12:34.240 I'm not mad here, but I do think before I speak. 0:12:34.280 --> 0:12:38.679 I said to myself, is she a waitress, No, she's stewardess. No, 0:12:39.400 --> 0:12:41.480 she's a woman. First, let me say this woman is 0:12:41.520 --> 0:12:43.600 working her ass off. Now, if I had said the 0:12:43.760 --> 0:12:46.640 server is working her ass, you probably saying she's a woman. 0:12:46.760 --> 0:12:49.360 Right, and you should have probably just said, hey, you're 0:12:49.360 --> 0:12:51.319 doing a great job in that way. 0:12:52.120 --> 0:12:54.520 But to me, because I don't really want to. I mean, 0:12:54.760 --> 0:12:57.040 first of all, I get an annoyed because I think, oh, 0:12:57.040 --> 0:12:59.839 do you really think I'm being sexist by saying that. 0:13:00.640 --> 0:13:03.240 I would say this man. I didn't say girl, I 0:13:03.280 --> 0:13:06.840 didn't say chick. I didn't say waitress. I said this woman. 0:13:07.400 --> 0:13:09.839 I mean, what is wrong with it? And she had 0:13:09.840 --> 0:13:13.080 to well, now, you're if I had said server, isn't 0:13:13.080 --> 0:13:13.920 that demeaning? 0:13:14.280 --> 0:13:16.400 I mean, that's all she is. Isn't she a. 0:13:16.320 --> 0:13:19.000 Woman defining someone by their job? 0:13:19.240 --> 0:13:19.440 Yeah? 0:13:19.640 --> 0:13:23.120 I said so, But she was so anxious to jump 0:13:23.160 --> 0:13:23.600 on this. 0:13:24.080 --> 0:13:26.240 Well, I think it's a it's a little kind of 0:13:26.679 --> 0:13:29.480 fashion that the young folks went through for a while 0:13:29.600 --> 0:13:31.200 that they wanted to fine. 0:13:31.559 --> 0:13:33.800 You know what when I was, when I was their age, 0:13:33.840 --> 0:13:35.319 I was a punk rocker. I was a pan of 0:13:35.360 --> 0:13:35.800 the ass too. 0:13:35.920 --> 0:13:39.240 Oh yeah, I know when you think about a stupid people. 0:13:39.360 --> 0:13:42.640 Our generation was the burning down the Bank of America building, 0:13:42.679 --> 0:13:45.800 and oh my god, remember the SDS to to make 0:13:45.880 --> 0:13:49.520 up for racial injustice. They should kill every third white 0:13:49.559 --> 0:13:50.160 baby born. 0:13:50.200 --> 0:13:50.800 I remember something. 0:13:51.360 --> 0:13:54.320 I remember some SDS guy saying that early on Okay, 0:13:54.360 --> 0:13:58.720 you know, just crazy talk, just crazy talk. So to me, 0:13:58.880 --> 0:14:01.160 a lot of his like, I never use the word 0:14:01.160 --> 0:14:03.840 bitch on stage. I know women don't like the words, 0:14:03.840 --> 0:14:07.520 so I don't use it. And to me, you know, 0:14:07.720 --> 0:14:11.040 it's funny because I do a joke where I see 0:14:11.040 --> 0:14:14.320 the women where I say, your Northwestern University did a 0:14:14.360 --> 0:14:17.439 study about the differences between. 0:14:17.160 --> 0:14:20.760 Men's brains and women's brains. This is amazing. 0:14:20.840 --> 0:14:24.000 Listen to this, and you see the women go, you know, 0:14:24.080 --> 0:14:28.040 they kind of like it seems women's brains are located 0:14:28.160 --> 0:14:28.920 in their head. 0:14:30.800 --> 0:14:33.560 Who saw that coming? And then they and they laugh 0:14:33.680 --> 0:14:34.400 more than it. 0:14:34.320 --> 0:14:37.960 Is funny because I'm not It's not an insult. It's 0:14:37.960 --> 0:14:38.640 not the usual. 0:14:38.760 --> 0:14:40.480 Well I never understood anyone. 0:14:40.920 --> 0:14:43.600 Look, to me, an audience is it doesn't have a 0:14:43.680 --> 0:14:45.120 race or a gender or anything like that. 0:14:45.200 --> 0:14:47.040 It's an audience is an audience and you don't. 0:14:46.840 --> 0:14:50.160 Know, but no, but an audience does have the best 0:14:50.200 --> 0:14:55.360 audiences is a fully male, female, black, white, Asian integrated 0:14:55.440 --> 0:14:58.160 audience where they all totally For example, you know, if 0:14:58.200 --> 0:15:00.840 you have done a corporate event where it's all men. Yes, 0:15:01.800 --> 0:15:05.080 unless it's all football jokes or gun jokes or something, 0:15:05.840 --> 0:15:06.520 it's terrible. 0:15:06.840 --> 0:15:07.240 I did it. 0:15:07.280 --> 0:15:11.080 I did a corporate events once Pele Beach and I 0:15:11.160 --> 0:15:13.840 used to do this bit about Tom Cruise. This is 0:15:13.880 --> 0:15:16.040 a long time ago because I actually am a big 0:15:16.080 --> 0:15:16.920 fan of Tom Cruise. 0:15:16.920 --> 0:15:19.320 But it wasn't the most flattering really yeah. 0:15:19.040 --> 0:15:19.200 Yeah. 0:15:19.360 --> 0:15:21.040 It was a piece of stand up right. And it 0:15:21.120 --> 0:15:23.080 was just after he jumped on Oprah's couch and I 0:15:23.120 --> 0:15:26.440 was dicking around with that, and and I was doing 0:15:26.440 --> 0:15:28.440 this piece and this piece. It was a good it 0:15:28.480 --> 0:15:31.600 was a good bed and every night it killed. I said, well, 0:15:31.600 --> 0:15:33.120 I'll do it this corporate It was a clean bit. 0:15:33.160 --> 0:15:35.400 It was nothing like that in it. And at this 0:15:35.800 --> 0:15:38.920 corporate event, I did this Tom Cruise thing. Died on 0:15:39.000 --> 0:15:44.320 his ass, like really badly died nothing, sure, nothing crickets 0:15:44.920 --> 0:15:46.360 And I come up with it. Wow, that was a 0:15:46.440 --> 0:15:48.640 rough crowd, and went somebody should probably tell you Tom 0:15:48.680 --> 0:15:49.600 Cruis law firm. 0:15:52.120 --> 0:15:53.000 It was this lawyer. 0:15:54.000 --> 0:15:56.360 Oh my god, it was because you do a lot 0:15:56.400 --> 0:15:58.720 of corporate gigs and you work clean. 0:15:59.160 --> 0:16:02.160 I've seen you don't work. You don't work squeaky clean. 0:16:02.360 --> 0:16:02.960 No, PG. 0:16:03.160 --> 0:16:05.520 Thirty. Right, so you. 0:16:05.120 --> 0:16:07.080 You work, you don't you drop the F bomb and 0:16:07.120 --> 0:16:09.280 you don't do that kind of thing. But but it's 0:16:09.400 --> 0:16:12.920 kind of it's grown up, right, it's an adult show, 0:16:12.960 --> 0:16:14.720 but it's not an adult try. 0:16:15.440 --> 0:16:16.520 It's not balloon animals. 0:16:16.600 --> 0:16:18.440 Right, No, it's definitely not that. 0:16:19.120 --> 0:16:21.000 Do you ever run into it with because I've had 0:16:21.040 --> 0:16:22.600 people say to me at corporate gigs. 0:16:22.520 --> 0:16:25.280 You gotta be really careful here. They really do you 0:16:25.320 --> 0:16:26.120 ever they ever say that? 0:16:26.200 --> 0:16:26.360 You know? 0:16:26.760 --> 0:16:27.440 Everybody trusts? 0:16:27.520 --> 0:16:28.760 I always ask, is this. 0:16:28.840 --> 0:16:31.840 Like a born again thing? Is a chairman the born 0:16:31.880 --> 0:16:32.920 again guy or something? 0:16:33.000 --> 0:16:34.760 Would you be able to cope with that? So if 0:16:34.800 --> 0:16:35.920 he will, I can work. 0:16:36.000 --> 0:16:36.520 You know something. 0:16:36.560 --> 0:16:39.520 I booked myself into Oral Robinson University, want just to 0:16:39.520 --> 0:16:41.840 see if I could play it, and they said, look, 0:16:41.880 --> 0:16:46.280 we don't like sex jokes, we don't like drug jokes, politics, 0:16:46.280 --> 0:16:48.360 everything else is fine, and they were fine, they just 0:16:48.400 --> 0:16:49.800 didn't want any dick jokes. 0:16:49.840 --> 0:16:54.360 Right, So that's probably not one I should be doing. No, no, no, 0:16:54.480 --> 0:16:57.080 I don't do it, none of those jokes. No, no, no. 0:16:57.160 --> 0:17:01.960