Speaker 1: My name is Craig Ferguson. The name of this podcast
Speaker 1: is joy. I talk to interest in people about what
Speaker 1: brings them happiness. Here's my favorite car collector. I think
Speaker 1: he had a late night show at some point I
Speaker 1: can't remember. Here he is Jelena.
Speaker 2: All right, we're up. So here's the thing. Oh so
Speaker 2: we're not no video?
Speaker 1: No no, Well here's the thing why I no video
Speaker 1: because this is the reason why I don't do it,
Speaker 1: because people like you, some performers want so much makeup
Speaker 1: and hair done.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, not me.
Speaker 1: No, So I tell you what I'm doing right here,
Speaker 1: right right as I'm enjoying a cup of coffee.
Speaker 3: Now, I know that you don't drink coffee.
Speaker 2: No, don't drink coffee, and you don't upcoups. I ever
Speaker 2: had of Seinfeld on comedians and cars getting confident. It
Speaker 2: was awful. You know, I don't like hot liquids.
Speaker 3: Now, see this is but this is what about soup?
Speaker 3: Do soup come into.
Speaker 2: The soup is just a way to screw you out
Speaker 2: of a meal. Enough soup. Oh, here's a bowl and
Speaker 2: it's wet. Thanks all right, so now in a wet bawl.
Speaker 2: You know something I can chew, thank you.
Speaker 3: But hold on a second.
Speaker 1: Is it because it's a whole liquid or because it's
Speaker 1: just a liquid it's.
Speaker 2: Not a meal. Does it have to be a meal? Yeah?
Speaker 1: But do you But you won't have soup because it's
Speaker 1: a drink. Well, I plus, I don't like hot liquid.
Speaker 1: But if you don't like, what about gaspacho or maybe
Speaker 1: a cold borche No horrible?
Speaker 2: So so really it's about liquid.
Speaker 3: And do you ever drink any liquids at all?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I drink a lot of water, a lot of fruit juice.
Speaker 2: You drink beer? No, never had a beer in my life.
Speaker 2: You never had a beer. Never a beer.
Speaker 3: You never drink any of the hoots at all?
Speaker 2: No, no, no, I have nothing to guess that. I
Speaker 2: have no interesting And I was always a designated driver.
Speaker 2: I was always a car guy. So to me, it's
Speaker 2: that's true. Because you love the car. I'll drive you
Speaker 2: Dre's home and that's fine, all right. So you so
Speaker 2: very few liquids and no soup. Well, I see, I'm
Speaker 2: worried that. You know.
Speaker 1: Look, none of us are getting younger, Jay, right, right,
Speaker 1: So the certain point in life, soup is kind of
Speaker 1: gets attractive to the older gin.
Speaker 2: That's all I'm saying, seventy three and I haven't been
Speaker 2: there yet.
Speaker 1: Well that I'm just saying that, you know that there
Speaker 1: was your souper years. Maybe coming up and get used
Speaker 1: to it, let's hope not all right? So listen, your
Speaker 1: mother was Scottish and my mother was Scotish. And my
Speaker 1: wife has a theory about stand up comedians that their
Speaker 1: mothers have to be Scottish or they have to be
Speaker 1: cold with bad boundaries.
Speaker 2: So my mom was not cold. My parents are very
Speaker 2: good that way. She have good boundaries. I don't know
Speaker 2: what you mean by boundaries.
Speaker 3: Well you know, and now do I. But you know
Speaker 3: a lot of people talk about it.
Speaker 2: You know, how long are you in Hollywood? In an hour?
Speaker 4: Now?
Speaker 2: And you've got boundaries? Yeah, I mean, I'm just wondering that.
Speaker 2: You see, I never heard any of it. You know.
Speaker 2: It's so funny where I grew up, I was the
Speaker 2: laziest person that anybody knew. I come here, Oh, Jame's
Speaker 2: the hardest working guy. No, it's just where you grow up.
Speaker 2: It's that you know, you grew up in New England
Speaker 2: with Silas Manor and Ethan Frome and all these depressing
Speaker 2: books about fresh year. You work hard, that you die,
Speaker 2: then you got Littlematoya?
Speaker 1: Is it you die after you get and then you
Speaker 1: die die whatever it is.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just all life is awful, you know, Sonny.
Speaker 2: It comes to Hollywood and all the lights of ride
Speaker 2: and it's sunny outside, and wage were you when you
Speaker 2: came here? I started coming here, I guess when I
Speaker 2: was nineteen twenty something like that, not in nineteen twenty
Speaker 2: when you were nineteen twenty nine.
Speaker 3: But here's the thing.
Speaker 1: You came out here to do comedy because you're you're
Speaker 1: Boston right right, right right? So did you ever do
Speaker 1: stand up in Boston before you came out here? Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know that was a great thing because growing
Speaker 2: up in Boston then I never met another stand up comedian.
Speaker 2: Occasionally comedians would come to like the Chateau to Ville
Speaker 2: in Framingham. It was one of those fancy well yeah,
Speaker 2: it's one of those places like near a mall and
Speaker 2: it's got like a fountain in front. That I worked
Speaker 2: there with Tom Jones, I worked there with Perry Como,
Speaker 2: I like Dion Warwick, you know all those acts from
Speaker 2: that era. Yeah, yeah, and that was and that was
Speaker 2: an opening act that.
Speaker 1: Was you wanted to you wanted to be a stand up?
Speaker 1: Dot Young at nineteen and twenty years old. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: you got to be fucked up in some way then,
Speaker 1: because nobody wants to be a stand up.
Speaker 2: Why wouldn't you want to be a stand well back
Speaker 2: in the day, nobody wants.
Speaker 3: I mean nowadays people want to do it.
Speaker 2: Interesting when I watched TV, yeah, all comedians were middle
Speaker 2: aged Jewish men like Rodney, like Henny Youngman, all those guys,
Speaker 2: all all the catskill comics, and then all of a sudden,
Speaker 2: Robert Klein came along. Was a huge influence on me.
Speaker 2: Robert was about ten years old than me, and he
Speaker 2: was a middle class kid. Parents weren't wealthy, but he
Speaker 2: didn't grow up doing the depression, just talking about the
Speaker 2: same kind of things I talked about. And then Carlin
Speaker 2: at that point had just about nineteen seventy early seventy
Speaker 2: to one released his Class Clown album, And I used
Speaker 2: to do George's routines in my head and I'm doing
Speaker 2: silent to myself, and then I'd add my own jokes
Speaker 2: at the end. So when I would go to audition
Speaker 2: to places, I would stand backstage I would get into
Speaker 2: it by doing George's thing, and then when I watched,
Speaker 2: I say, you know, when I have school. You know
Speaker 2: I didn't. I didn't do any George's material, but I
Speaker 2: just get a rhythm to it. You know.
Speaker 3: That's interesting. Yeah, And were you friendly with George?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I knew Judge from the very beginning. It
Speaker 2: was always very nice to me. So was client. You know,
Speaker 2: all comics are pretty nice. Steve Martin helped me get
Speaker 2: this and IHO. Steve Martin told Johnny about me. I
Speaker 2: chose Johnny about Ellen DeGeneres. I find comedians help other comedians.
Speaker 2: I don't find it to be this. I mean there
Speaker 2: were there obviously some throw people around, and that's not unusual,
Speaker 2: but it's not the norm. You know, as a comic,
Speaker 2: you can't do every job. If I couldn't get something,
Speaker 2: I go, oh, you should. Like there's a gig I
Speaker 2: do in Rhode Island. I at the Dream Museum. It's
Speaker 2: it's kind of like Pebble Beach East. It's like it's
Speaker 2: a car show and I've hosted it for the last
Speaker 2: four or five years. But I'm out of material at
Speaker 2: this point, you know, I said, oh, I'm being biking
Speaker 2: Billy Gardell, and so I brought you know, Billy Gardell,
Speaker 2: wonderful comic. Yeah yeah, and he did a great job.
Speaker 2: He killed and I felt good that I helped him.
Speaker 2: He felt good. They got to do a corporate day
Speaker 2: that paid a lot of money and it was fun.
Speaker 3: So I'm so wait, hello, you and i'd be friends
Speaker 3: for a while.
Speaker 2: You didn't think of putting me up for the fucking
Speaker 2: corporate I never never thought, Actually, what do it next year?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll do it next year.
Speaker 2: I'll get it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, okay, because let me just say it's on
Speaker 3: the East Coast.
Speaker 2: I like the idea like cars, and like cars, got
Speaker 2: to work, you gotta work reasonably clean, super.
Speaker 1: I I did gigs with you, right, yeah, let's do it.
Speaker 2: I'll do it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I don't mind working clean. The older I get and fight,
Speaker 1: the easier it gets to work clean. I've noticed that.
Speaker 2: Well, you know, I find when you're twenty five, yeah,
Speaker 2: and you say the word pussy girls go oh, well,
Speaker 2: we said, oh my god, when you're sixty five, not old.
Speaker 1: Guys, And you know what, they got a point, Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: it is.
Speaker 2: It's true. It's true. You know, it's fun to grow.
Speaker 2: INDI I act, yeah, because my point of view is
Speaker 2: always from an adult observing things, how stupid this is
Speaker 2: or whatever it is, you know, And as a young
Speaker 2: person it didn't work quite as well as it does now.
Speaker 2: Now you can be a bit curmudgeously.
Speaker 1: And I was struck by your stand up, like when
Speaker 1: we were working in the Midwest this summer, like you
Speaker 1: threw it downe in Mandon. It's like a full solid
Speaker 1: hour and you and like the material. It's fresh and
Speaker 1: well you try to have a joke every six to
Speaker 1: nine seconds. That's that's I think.
Speaker 3: Really you see it because I don't think of it
Speaker 3: like that. I mean, everybody's different.
Speaker 2: It's just different to me. It's like a music show.
Speaker 2: You open with your heads boom boom boom, joke joke,
Speaker 2: junk junk joke, and then in the middle you do
Speaker 2: the comedic version of a ball let, you tell story,
Speaker 2: Oh you know my rope and I would go to
Speaker 2: this place, and there are little humorous jokes along the way,
Speaker 2: as opposed.
Speaker 1: To That's very interesting to me because I do think
Speaker 1: of it in kind of musical terms. Yeah, as well,
Speaker 1: it's a it's kind of a musical perform. Are you
Speaker 1: musicians you play anything?
Speaker 2: I played trumpet, but then I realized I couldn't talk
Speaker 2: and play trumpet at the same time. That's a terrible
Speaker 2: instrument for you to play.
Speaker 3: You should play like a guitar. Fourth grade at the
Speaker 3: tire Jay, I'm going to tell you something right now.
Speaker 2: You know I adore you.
Speaker 1: But because you played trumpet in fourth grade doesn't mean
Speaker 1: you played the fuck trumpet right exactly.
Speaker 2: That's why I quickly got rid of it.
Speaker 1: But you do see, I think a lot of the
Speaker 1: stand ups that I like are also the thinking musical
Speaker 1: terms of what they do.
Speaker 2: You know, the most musical comic I can think of
Speaker 2: as Franklin a Ji. You know Franklin, I don't know.
Speaker 2: African American comic very big in America. He had an
Speaker 2: album out thirty forty years he moved to Australia. Right.
Speaker 2: He's a jazz comedian. He plays jazz and he does comedy.
Speaker 2: He has one of my favorite bits. He talks about
Speaker 2: the guy. Oh, there was an Olympic guy from some
Speaker 2: country and he ran in the marathon and he came last.
Speaker 2: He was dead last, and he just as he's running,
Speaker 2: he's going I mean I've been training, I've been working
Speaker 2: a I could have sat on a couch and watch TV.
Speaker 2: I'd still be last. I mean, it does a lot
Speaker 2: more to it than that. He does a lot better,
Speaker 2: but it's just very funny and he just thinks in
Speaker 2: jazz terms. You know, I was fortunated. I got to
Speaker 2: work with all the great jazz musicians, Miles Davis stands
Speaker 2: against Mose Allison, A Montremal, russn Rowland Kirk, all these guys.
Speaker 2: And with jazz. There was a place called Lenny's on
Speaker 2: the Turnpike in Boston, Okay, and that was a jazz
Speaker 2: club and real hard called Buddy Rich, real hardcore jazz,
Speaker 2: the real deal. You went to see that and the
Speaker 2: first time because usually I used to play striptnis, but.
Speaker 1: Now you suck your sucky.
Speaker 2: People just screamed, so you really didn't know if you're
Speaker 2: any good or not right. But with the jazz on
Speaker 2: its man and walked on say silence, did they know it?
Speaker 2: And snap their fingers, you know, not quite that much,
Speaker 2: but they would listen, you know, like Miles's audience, any
Speaker 2: of those audiences, I went, oh, this is really you
Speaker 2: know ross sound Roland, I don't know, if you've ever
Speaker 2: heard of him, he might be before your time. It's possible.
Speaker 2: Ross Sound Roland Kirkt African American guy, blind right, but
Speaker 2: famous because he could hold a note indefinitely, and he
Speaker 2: could play two intimits in the same time. He could
Speaker 2: play the sacks and the clarinet at the same time.
Speaker 2: And that's crazy. How does that even past? Because he
Speaker 2: could breathe through his nose, okay, but he was whine
Speaker 2: so and we played primarily African American artists it places
Speaker 2: like the Sugar Shack in Boston, and he would go
Speaker 2: on stage and you go, I'm gonna bring a young brother.
Speaker 2: I probably gonna tell it like it is, you know.
Speaker 2: He gives the whole thing like I was a black head.
Speaker 5: Yeah, please welcome j Letto, you know, and I come
Speaker 5: out and go and go. He doesn't, And he thought
Speaker 5: that was the funniest thing, right. He loved doing that
Speaker 5: routine every night with people, bring.
Speaker 2: On a young brother, tell it like it is. Yeah,
Speaker 2: who you know? Black audience is I get all worked up,
Speaker 2: you know, and then I walk out, what's this? You know,
Speaker 2: here's the thing?
Speaker 1: Because you talk about that right now, like you even
Speaker 1: telling that story to me right now, like people are
Speaker 1: going to get ban out of shape because of you know,
Speaker 1: you mentioned race of any kind and this, you know,
Speaker 1: different races of any kind, and people are already on
Speaker 1: the balls of their feet looking for a fight, which
Speaker 1: I kind of I'm getting a little tired of it.
Speaker 3: I think everyone else is too, does it.
Speaker 2: I'm the best one happened a couple of months ago. Yeah,
Speaker 2: my wife maybe in a little Chinese restaurant Westwood. It's
Speaker 2: got like fourteen tables if that many, and the mother
Speaker 2: runs the cashier and takes the orders, and the dad's
Speaker 2: to cook, and looks like the kids or cousins. It
Speaker 2: looks like a family. So we got our food and
Speaker 2: sitting there and you're kind of it's right next to UCLA.
Speaker 2: In fact, it is UCLA, and a lot of students
Speaker 2: are on the table. I just said to my wife, God,
Speaker 2: this woman's really working her ass off. And a girl
Speaker 2: in the next table, or a young woman at the
Speaker 2: next table goes, she's a server, And I said, there,
Speaker 2: I'm not mad here, but I do think before I speak.
Speaker 2: I said to myself, is she a waitress, No, she's stewardess. No,
Speaker 2: she's a woman. First, let me say this woman is
Speaker 2: working her ass off. Now, if I had said the
Speaker 2: server is working her ass, you probably saying, oh, she's
Speaker 2: a woman.
Speaker 1: Right, and you should have probably just said hate, you're
Speaker 1: doing a great job and in that way.
Speaker 2: But to me, it's because I don't really want to.
Speaker 2: I mean, first of all, I get an annoyed because
Speaker 2: I think, oh, do you really think I'm being sexist
Speaker 2: by saying that. I would say this man. I didn't
Speaker 2: say girl, I didn't say chick, I didn't say waitress.
Speaker 2: I said this woman. I mean, what is wrong with it?
Speaker 2: And she had to Well, now, you're if I had
Speaker 2: said server, isn't that demeaning? I mean, that's all she is.
Speaker 3: Isn't she a woman defining someone by their job?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I said so. But she was so anxious to
Speaker 2: jump on this.
Speaker 1: Well, I think it's a it's a little kind of
Speaker 1: fashion that the young folks went through for a while
Speaker 1: that they wanted.
Speaker 2: Fine.
Speaker 1: You know what when I was when I was their age,
Speaker 1: I was a punk rocker. I was a pan of
Speaker 1: the ass too.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I know when you think about a stupid people.
Speaker 2: Our generation was the burning down the Bank of America
Speaker 2: building and Oh my god. Remember the SDS to to
Speaker 2: make up for racial injustice, they should kill every third
Speaker 2: white baby born. I remember something. I remember some SDS
Speaker 2: guy saying that early on Okay, you know, just crazy talk,
Speaker 2: just crazy talk. So to me, a lot of his like,
Speaker 2: I never use the word bitch on stage. I don't.
Speaker 2: Women don't like the words, so I don't use it.
Speaker 2: And to me, you know, it's funny because I do
Speaker 2: a joke where I see the women where I say,
Speaker 2: your Northwestern University did a study about the differences between
Speaker 2: men's brains and women's brains. This is amazing. Listen to this,
Speaker 2: and you see the women go, you know, they kind
Speaker 2: of like it seems women's brains are located in their head.
Speaker 2: Who saw that coming? And then they and they laugh
Speaker 2: more than it is funny because I'm not It's not
Speaker 2: an insult. It's not the usual. Well I never understood anyone.
Speaker 1: Look, to me, an audience is it doesn't have a
Speaker 1: race or a gender or anything like that.
Speaker 2: It's an audience. Is an audience and you don't know,
Speaker 2: but no, but an audience does have the best audiences.
Speaker 2: It's a fully male, female, black, white, Asian, integrated audience
Speaker 2: where they all let totally. For example, you know, if
Speaker 2: you have done a corporate event where it's all men, yes,
Speaker 2: unless it's all football jokes or gun jokes or something,
Speaker 2: it's terrible. I did it.
Speaker 1: I did a corporate events once Pebble Beach, and I
Speaker 1: used to do this bit about Tom Cruise. This is
Speaker 1: a long time ago because I actually am a big
Speaker 1: fan of Tom Cruise. But it wasn't the most flattering
Speaker 1: really yeah. Yeah, it was a piece of stand upright.
Speaker 1: And it was just after he jumped on Oprah's couch
Speaker 1: and I was dicking around with that and and I
Speaker 1: was doing this piece and this piece it was a
Speaker 1: good it was a good bed and every night it killed.
Speaker 1: I said, well, I'll do it this corporate It was
Speaker 1: a clean bit. It was nothing like that in it.
Speaker 1: And at this corporate event, I did this Tom Cruise
Speaker 1: thing died on his ass, like really badly died nothing, sure,
Speaker 1: nothing crickets And I come up with it, Wow, that
Speaker 1: was a rough crowd, and went somebody should probably tell
Speaker 1: you it's Tom Cruis law firm.
Speaker 3: It was this lawyer.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it was. Because you do a lot
Speaker 1: of the corporate gigs and you work clean. I've seen
Speaker 1: you don't work.
Speaker 2: You don't work.
Speaker 3: Squeaky clean no, PG.
Speaker 1: Thirty Right, so you you work, you don't drop the
Speaker 1: F bomb and you don't do that kind of thing.
Speaker 1: But but it's kind of it's grown up, right, it's
Speaker 1: an adult show, but it's not an adult trick.
Speaker 2: It's not balloon animals.
Speaker 1: Right, No, it's definitely not that. Do you ever run
Speaker 1: into it with because I've had people say to me
Speaker 1: at corporate gigs, you to.
Speaker 3: Be really careful here they really.
Speaker 2: Do you ever they ever say that?
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 3: Everybody trusts.
Speaker 2: I always ask, is this like a born again things
Speaker 2: a chairman, the born again guy or something?
Speaker 3: Would you be able to cope with that? So if
Speaker 3: he will, I can work.
Speaker 2: You know something. I booked myself into Oral Robinson University
Speaker 2: wants just to see if I could play it, and
Speaker 2: they said, look, we don't like sex jokes, we don't
Speaker 2: like drug jokes, politics, everything else is fine, and they
Speaker 2: were fine, they just didn't want any dick jokes.
Speaker 3: Right, fine, so it's probably not one I should be doing.
Speaker 1: No, No, I don't do it, none of those jokes.
Speaker 2: No, No, But what I mean to me a guy
Speaker 2: is paying me to do a job. I don't quite
Speaker 2: get guys to go. So I told him to go
Speaker 2: shove it and I did what. Yeah, I don't get
Speaker 2: I got to agree with you.
Speaker 3: I don't understand that.
Speaker 2: What are you then? Don't take the gig like to me?
Speaker 2: I know the you know, to me, an audience is
Speaker 2: like an orchestra. You want to get a nice rolling
Speaker 2: laugh going. I remember I had a joke. I'm sorry
Speaker 2: I don't remember the joke, but it was when Hillary
Speaker 2: Clinton was running for president, and also so was Reggie
Speaker 2: Jackson and a bunch of other people, and I had
Speaker 2: a joke about each candidate. And the Reggie Jackson joke
Speaker 2: was a political joke. It wasn't about him being black.
Speaker 2: It's just okay that got a laugh. When they got
Speaker 2: to the Hillary joke, Memboro was going and I just
Speaker 2: hated the guttural laugh. I got on you because I realized, oh,
Speaker 2: they think I'm they think I'm making fun of her
Speaker 2: cause she's a woman candidate as supposed to just a candidate.
Speaker 2: So I just dropped the joke. I took it out
Speaker 2: and it kept it and the audience is much better
Speaker 2: because it just kept a nice even you know, you
Speaker 2: got a nice rolling boil going with the craft. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and then you do something that's overly sexist or overly
Speaker 2: what I know what you mean.
Speaker 1: I felt it as well. There are gags that the
Speaker 1: joke's not worth it. Yeah, you know, l Sally you
Speaker 1: still always say that to me. Peter Sally was my
Speaker 1: boss and Late Night. I don't know, you know, Peter
Speaker 1: did the Tonight Show for so long and whenever I
Speaker 1: did a joke that I you know, it was like
Speaker 1: near the knuckle, right, and you would say, is it
Speaker 1: is it worth it? Is it really worth it? That
Speaker 1: joke isn't that good? Because he would say, you know,
Speaker 1: joke's like a house.
Speaker 2: Or a car, there's always another one. You know, you
Speaker 2: can do another joke right right.
Speaker 1: And when I first started, I was like, no, that
Speaker 1: is worth it.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: Very quickly, I was like, now you're right, fuck it,
Speaker 1: we'll we'll be here tomorrow night.
Speaker 2: It's uh yeah yeah to me, you just sort of
Speaker 2: learned to read your audience.
Speaker 3: Let's talk a little bit about Late Night though.
Speaker 1: Bring that up because of Peter when you took over
Speaker 1: on the Tonight Show.
Speaker 2: So when was that early nineties, ninety one. I started
Speaker 2: guest hosting in eighty six eighty seven.
Speaker 1: Right, how long would a guest host gig B would
Speaker 1: be like a week?
Speaker 3: Would it be like a night?
Speaker 2: No? Well you got one night? Right?
Speaker 3: And Johnny used to do that towards the end of
Speaker 3: his run. Right, he would bring people.
Speaker 2: In and yeah, and there were like, uh six or
Speaker 2: seven guys that were being considered. Did you ever have
Speaker 2: guest hosts when you were doing it? No, I had
Speaker 2: to die once. I did it once because Katie Couric
Speaker 2: wanted to switch seats. NBC thought would be a fun
Speaker 2: thing to so we did it one day.
Speaker 3: They did the same thing with Drew Carrey. Yeah right, Yeah,
Speaker 3: I didn't quite get that, but no, I didn't know.
Speaker 2: To me, when you have guest hosts, it just means
Speaker 2: more work for the staff, right, because they may have
Speaker 2: to put the monologue together instead of you. They have
Speaker 2: to figure out can this guy talk to a guests
Speaker 2: and go over every single note. It's a job.
Speaker 1: It's very hard to do for one night. It's a
Speaker 1: little easier to do it for, you know, a couple
Speaker 1: of years than one night.
Speaker 2: I get that.
Speaker 1: Is that something because it's fun? You grew up in
Speaker 1: an ear. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think
Speaker 1: I'm right. You grew up near when Johnny was the
Speaker 1: gold standard, and obviously he was the king.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So did you have aspirations to be the Tonight Show holster?
Speaker 1: Was it just like because you were a comic you
Speaker 1: kind of drifted into that direction.
Speaker 2: You kind of went that way. Yeah. It was the
Speaker 2: only job in show business that I liked, right, because
Speaker 2: I like to be a round show business as opposed
Speaker 2: to in it. You know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I saw a movie with you in
Speaker 1: it once, like years years.
Speaker 2: That's been some terrimories, but to me it was a
Speaker 2: jungle movie. Did I see you in the jug Bill
Speaker 2: Maher in the Job Jule? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't remember what the movie was. I've done
Speaker 3: some real clunkers as well.
Speaker 2: I just liked you because, like I say, I don't
Speaker 2: want to be Charlie Sheen, but I enjoyed I enjoyed
Speaker 2: being a round Tlie. I enjoyed watching Charlie crash and
Speaker 2: burn and and not in the mean way, just in
Speaker 2: a funny way.
Speaker 1: You want to be around the circus folk, but you
Speaker 1: don't necessarily have that's right.
Speaker 4: That's right.
Speaker 2: And I used to enjoy it. That's what's great about
Speaker 2: being your host of it. I don't have to go
Speaker 2: to the party. To me, it's really what happened to
Speaker 2: the party. Oh my god, I can't believe that you
Speaker 2: know and you hear the story or whatever it might be.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I felt that way about did you watch
Speaker 1: the movies when people were on the.
Speaker 2: Show, let's watch the movie? See I never watched the movie.
Speaker 1: I had a completely different what was your philosophy then,
Speaker 1: that you wanted to know the movie?
Speaker 3: It would be to be able to talk about it.
Speaker 2: I think people like it. I know a lot of
Speaker 2: guests if you made the effort to read their book
Speaker 2: or whatever it is they had, Yeah, they would really
Speaker 2: be impressed. I mean they would write you a note. Right.
Speaker 2: I can't believe you went to my movie.
Speaker 3: No, I never. I never did. I did the complete opposite.
Speaker 2: That's funny.
Speaker 1: No, just because well you were clearly much more successful
Speaker 1: than I wasn't it. But what I felt about it
Speaker 1: was if I knew about it, then the two of
Speaker 1: us are talking about the movie we've both seen. If
Speaker 1: you were on plugging a movie and I haven't seen
Speaker 1: it and we're talking about it and you're telling me
Speaker 1: about the movie. I'm like, oh, this sounds like a
Speaker 1: movie and I want to see And that was my philosophy.
Speaker 1: And Pete used to fight me on it. Lay You're like, nah,
Speaker 1: you just told me. It's a big star. You got
Speaker 1: to go see his movie. I'm like, but if I've
Speaker 1: seen in the movie, then I'm going to talk to
Speaker 1: him about the movie that ever we're both seen.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you talk about what you liked about it
Speaker 2: or what they you know, the character delineation or whatever
Speaker 2: it is they did. Come on, No, I enjoyed that
Speaker 2: part of it. I would try watch a movie if
Speaker 2: I got to a part of that was partially challenging
Speaker 2: for the actor. I remember that, and I bring it
Speaker 2: up in the interview and oh, you know, because everybody
Speaker 2: in show business is insecure. Oh sure, they think. I
Speaker 2: remember once. You know, publicity agents are my favorite. I
Speaker 2: wanted to see a guest, I say, the guest is
Speaker 2: but one of those subtle knocks through. I said, hey man,
Speaker 2: pretty good job. Really enjoyed you in the movie. And
Speaker 2: the president pretty good? Pretty good? I what it was great.
Speaker 2: You didn't say great, No to me, I meant really,
Speaker 2: that means, oh, I went like, whoa pretty good man?
Speaker 2: Nice job? And I said nice job, but I said
Speaker 2: I generally enjoyed it. Well, didn't sounds like okay, guys
Speaker 2: young about me? It's so shut up, you know.
Speaker 1: I bet you I can tell who there's like off
Speaker 1: the microphone. I bet you can tell you this is.
Speaker 1: But the thing is, I think about it as well,
Speaker 1: like the show business, because you said everyone in show
Speaker 1: business insecure.
Speaker 3: I think you're.
Speaker 1: Right, and I think that a lot of the people
Speaker 1: in show business they're crazy, damaged, you know, unemployable in
Speaker 1: any other business.
Speaker 3: That's true, and they're all a little little nuts.
Speaker 1: And the question that I go asked, I don't know
Speaker 1: if you guysked this, but like if there was somebody
Speaker 1: on who's like super famous, like Tom Hanks was on
Speaker 1: or so, people will always say were they nice?
Speaker 2: Was he a nice guy? Was was she a nice woman?
Speaker 2: Was are they nice?
Speaker 1: And like, well, they were nice to me, but because
Speaker 1: they're doing a talk show and they're professional. But the
Speaker 1: truth is, why is that important to people like you know, like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I'll.
Speaker 2: Ask you a question. Did your opinion of Woody Allen
Speaker 2: movies change after you heard all the things, Oh the
Speaker 2: stuff about Woody Allen. Yeah, I mean, did a change
Speaker 2: or did you think?
Speaker 1: Well, it's a it's a good question, but it's a
Speaker 1: little tricky for me because I wasn't a huge fan anyway.
Speaker 2: I wasn't a huge anyway. But I like someone I
Speaker 2: like to think like. To me, it's funny when I
Speaker 2: hear someone tell an exaggerated version of a story where
Speaker 2: they did something mean but didn't mean to But if
Speaker 2: I know there really means oh no, that kind of
Speaker 2: really did mean to hurt somebody. Yeah, you know, so
Speaker 2: to me, yeah, I think it does matter. I always
Speaker 2: equate kindness with intelligence. I've never met a kind person
Speaker 2: who was not intelligent. And by intelligent, I don't mean
Speaker 2: it's mathematically smart. I mean just the idea that a
Speaker 2: kind person can read another person's face and realize where
Speaker 2: to go or how to be sensitive, how to whatever.
Speaker 2: To me, that's intelligence. To me, I find really cruel
Speaker 2: people and mean people. They might be BookSmart, but they're
Speaker 2: not intelligence. Does that make any sense to you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, of course it does.
Speaker 1: It's actually it's a very nice way of looking at it.
Speaker 1: I think that that's true. But if I look at
Speaker 1: someone like here's someone I don't know. I know nothing
Speaker 1: about them, but I'm a fan of his work. Ousio
Speaker 1: was born right right Osi was born, is like, you know,
Speaker 1: he's a game changer of a singer and a band,
Speaker 1: hugely important. I don't need him to be nice. Did
Speaker 1: he bite the head off the bat? Or did he
Speaker 1: not buy the head off the bat? I don't know
Speaker 1: if I was, you know, like, if I was heavily
Speaker 1: involved in the world the bats, maybe it would be.
Speaker 2: Well, but let's go back. Did the wordy Allen stuff
Speaker 2: change your opinion of his work? You know? Did it?
Speaker 3: You know what it probably did?
Speaker 1: If I'm honest, I probably yeah, yeah, I mean I
Speaker 1: think you're fighting a bat is different than you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, you know, marrying your daughter. Yeah, so what
Speaker 2: did you do? Did you bite the head off a bat? Maybe?
Speaker 2: And did you actually.
Speaker 1: Definitely marry your step dough exactly exactly.
Speaker 2: I hear what you're saying.
Speaker 1: These are extremes, all right, But what I think is
Speaker 1: kind of weird to me is that maybe not the nice,
Speaker 1: but the idea that everyone's.
Speaker 2: Going to be like a Sunday school teacher while giving
Speaker 2: sample someone it's a way to get here, I'm not
Speaker 2: a big road rage guy. One day, I'm here in LA.
Speaker 2: You know, a guy behind b b BB, you know, like, oh,
Speaker 2: he wants to go an me, go an me, It
Speaker 2: goes around me, gives me the finger, yells you know,
Speaker 2: fuck you. So I came up to the next light.
Speaker 2: I look at him. I go, let me guess, what
Speaker 2: are your fifty five bald, fat? Divorce? Your kids, hate
Speaker 2: your job? What was your greatest day? Was it in
Speaker 2: high school? And the guy starts crying, Oh Jesus, and
Speaker 2: he goes, yes, you're right. I went, oh yeah. I
Speaker 2: realized as a comic you have the ability to size
Speaker 2: people up pretty quickly, and I'm hitting. Everything I said
Speaker 2: was exactly, So I said, pull over, pull So I
Speaker 2: got on mic, I get this guy go look I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: He goes you go. I got kids. I got two
Speaker 2: girl They don't speak to me. Oh my god, this
Speaker 2: is a terrible So I said, they did. I like
Speaker 2: Taylor Swift. I said, I tell you what. I got
Speaker 2: Taylor Swift on the show on Wednesday. Okay, why don't
Speaker 2: you bring your two girls? But they like to Oh god,
Speaker 2: what did Okay? So and Taylor Swift, I told her
Speaker 2: she couldn't have been nicer, came out, gave the kids
Speaker 2: a couple of albums signed. I mean, the sweetest person
Speaker 2: you could imagine. Yeah, just a lovely, lovely person. She
Speaker 2: didn't have to do it. I said, I had this
Speaker 2: guy and I cut him off and so many he's
Speaker 2: I mean the guy. The guy literally had a breakdown.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: But you know what's interesting about that story, which I
Speaker 1: like that story. I like it for you, I like
Speaker 1: it for Taylor Swift. I like the fact that it happened.
Speaker 1: I wonder if that guy, if that happened today, that
Speaker 1: guy would have a phone in your face record you
Speaker 1: slicing and dicing them, and they posted it on the internet.
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe not more than likely.
Speaker 3: You know, maybe I got.
Speaker 2: You know something, you can only live in the time
Speaker 2: you live in. That's true. It's like could Muhammad Ali
Speaker 2: beat the Rocky Marciano? You know? All right? You want
Speaker 2: to take that? No, all right? You know that kind
Speaker 2: of thing. So yeah, I know, but I mean you're right.
Speaker 1: I want to complain about it a little bit though,
Speaker 1: because I feel like the filming of everything is like
Speaker 1: we volunteered to be in Big Brother.
Speaker 2: It's not even like someone on each funny thing about
Speaker 2: Big Brother, because people always say big Brother is watching blood.
Speaker 2: You know. To me, probably the greatest day in media
Speaker 2: history was the Rodney King trial. The Rodney King thing
Speaker 2: is Rodney King coming along. According to the police, he
Speaker 2: had seven people in a Hundai going one hundred and
Speaker 2: seventeen miles an hour to all exaggerated. Okay, that's what
Speaker 2: the news said at seven o'clock. I believe that same
Speaker 2: evening the guy who shot that footage, who chose not
Speaker 2: to give it to the news, who put it out
Speaker 2: on the internet, and then suddenly people saw raw unfiltered
Speaker 2: news and you saw this guy get the crap beat
Speaker 2: out of me because it looks like he did that
Speaker 2: terrible And then you realize, because what happened, You give
Speaker 2: it to a news guy and they'll go the editor
Speaker 2: will go, well, this is inflammatory people, this is this cause. Right,
Speaker 2: let's just say it's like when I grew up in Boston,
Speaker 2: a woman was never raped, she was accosted, right, you know,
Speaker 2: they never tell you what I said. Now, you live
Speaker 2: in a world where you get your news unfiltered exactly
Speaker 2: as it happens. Have you traveled the outside of the
Speaker 2: US travel south. No, I don't really work it where
Speaker 2: I Well, I've been to Italy. I'm in Saudi Arabia,
Speaker 2: but a few places. Yeah, I don't find it totally different.
Speaker 2: Everybody speaks English.
Speaker 1: Well yeah to you, but I mean if you're doing
Speaker 1: a corporate gig in Italy.
Speaker 2: People will speak you know.
Speaker 1: It's like I was talking to Tomas, right, you know
Speaker 1: Tomas who works with me. Right, so Tomas, who you
Speaker 1: know produces this podcast. You also, I love Italy right right?
Speaker 1: I love Italy right And to my sister me, you
Speaker 1: love Italy, I said, yeah. He says no, he Tamasas
Speaker 1: has managed heavy mail bunds.
Speaker 3: He has to work in it. He said, if you
Speaker 3: had to work.
Speaker 2: Oh, oh my god.
Speaker 1: It's like because it is that kind of things when
Speaker 1: people say, you.
Speaker 2: Know what the oh I love Scotland so much.
Speaker 3: You Scottish people just so friendly.
Speaker 1: I went tried being Scottish with another Scottish person and
Speaker 1: see it fucking friendly. It's a saying. So listen, let's
Speaker 1: talk a little bit about the.
Speaker 2: Cars, all right, what do you want to know?
Speaker 3: Well, I want to know how it started. Was it
Speaker 3: your dad?
Speaker 2: Was it? I grew up in a rural area, and
Speaker 2: they're always broken. Snowmobiles and abandoned cars not so much now. Now,
Speaker 2: when you abandoned a car, it's got a software, it's
Speaker 2: got a computer. In the old days, people abandoned a
Speaker 2: car because distributor broke. All right, that's an easy enough
Speaker 2: fixed to somebody who has a little bit of mechanical
Speaker 2: knowledge or things of that nature. You know, a car
Speaker 2: from the teen's, twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, you could leave
Speaker 2: for one hundred years and you probably get us started
Speaker 2: pretty easy. Because mechanical things break, electrical things erode, and
Speaker 2: you look at a relay box. It might be shiny,
Speaker 2: but you can't tell what's going on inside it, you know.
Speaker 2: But you can look at a fuel pump and go, oh, well,
Speaker 2: here's here the gear. The gear is broken or the
Speaker 2: keyway is busted, you know. So they're easier to fix.
Speaker 1: So that was what drew you in, was the mechanical
Speaker 1: nature of the fact that you could fix them when
Speaker 1: they were anything.
Speaker 2: It rolls, explodes and makes no you know. When I
Speaker 2: was I was like eleven, somebody abandoned a Renault four CV,
Speaker 2: which is like the French version of the volkswid Heer
Speaker 2: and we had three acres behind our house and my
Speaker 2: mother would watch us through the kitchen window and we
Speaker 2: just drive around. And so of course now the parents
Speaker 2: would be taken away, you'd be putting foster care, and
Speaker 2: you know, it would be it's a whole different story. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but you just said it's bare now. Well in some ways, yeah, right, yeah,
Speaker 2: so you started playing around of the But as you
Speaker 2: go older, right, and you start like you here's the thing,
Speaker 2: here's the main facts of it. We are in an
Speaker 2: objective business. Some people like you, some people think you suck,
Speaker 2: some people think you're better than me, some people better
Speaker 2: than you. But when you have a car and it's
Speaker 2: broken and now it's running, no one can say it's
Speaker 2: not running. You know. You can say it's still not funny,
Speaker 2: even if other people laughing and you're not. But no
Speaker 2: one can say the car is not running. You know.
Speaker 1: Then that's why old comedians, well a lot of comedians
Speaker 1: are in the cars because of the same reason.
Speaker 2: Actually, most comedians are not into cars.
Speaker 3: I find those on a second.
Speaker 2: Jerry's in the cars.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm in the cars a little bit.
Speaker 2: I know a million guys. I remember you know rich
Speaker 2: Jenny called me one time. He goes, oh, he was funny.
Speaker 2: He had the best gay marriage joke back in the
Speaker 2: days when it was illegal. You go, gay guys have
Speaker 2: the ideal life. Larry, I'd love to marry you, but
Speaker 2: it's against the law. Imagine you can say that to
Speaker 2: a girl. Oh, I love to marry your honey, but
Speaker 2: it's against the law. Oh. I used to love that bad.
Speaker 2: And you know, it wasn't offensive. It was because that
Speaker 2: was It was just tough.
Speaker 3: He wasn't no anybody.
Speaker 2: He called my time. He goes, hey, what's the best
Speaker 2: car to get girls? I go, well, I said, I
Speaker 2: only have one girl and I've had her for like
Speaker 2: twenty six years at this point, so I couldn't tell
Speaker 2: you that. But what are you like? Well, a Corvette?
Speaker 2: Could can you get girls with Corpette? Some girls like Corvette?
Speaker 2: Some girls think, how old are you? You have a Corvette?
Speaker 2: You know? I said, So he gets a Corvette, you know,
Speaker 2: and of course he knows nothing about what it's capable
Speaker 2: of whatever. Just all this. Maybe he just got it together.
Speaker 2: What's the best car to get girls? This is just
Speaker 2: my favorite thing.
Speaker 1: It's funny because I've never really understood that as a thing.
Speaker 1: I guess maybe back in the day when you know,
Speaker 1: hey baby, do you want to sit in the rumble
Speaker 1: seat or something, but a.
Speaker 2: Rumble seat, yeah, back in the day, in the day,
Speaker 2: the nineteen twenties.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was the nineteen twenties in Scotland. So it's funny.
Speaker 1: Richard Jenny rich was one of the last gigs he
Speaker 1: had actually, or one of the last things I remember doing.
Speaker 2: He was on my show. Oh yeah, yeah, and.
Speaker 1: He it wasn't long after that that he that he
Speaker 1: you know that he killed himself. But I don't like
Speaker 1: it was anything to do with my show, but I'll
Speaker 1: be sure. I met him in Australia when I was
Speaker 1: starting out. I was at the Melbourne Comedy Festival and
Speaker 1: he turned up. He had these two very glamorous looking women,
Speaker 1: one on each arm, and he walked.
Speaker 2: Into the and I was like, does the guy do that? No,
Speaker 2: I realized he must have had a Corvette, that's what.
Speaker 2: It was. Really funny. Oh yeah, super fun He had
Speaker 2: very fast, fast, very New York you know, he had
Speaker 2: that New York attitude. Yeah. Yeah. He really was just
Speaker 2: a great, great comic that was a sad sad story.
Speaker 1: It's an interesting thing, and Rich is a good kind
Speaker 1: of example of it is that the persona that he
Speaker 1: had on stage was very different to who the guy
Speaker 1: he was. Rickles was very like this as well. People
Speaker 1: used to think Rickles was like when he was on
Speaker 1: he was the inso guy.
Speaker 2: But you remember doing it, Yeah, a very nice guy.
Speaker 2: I love I love Don. Don was great. Don was great,
Speaker 2: but even don you know, the network would censor him
Speaker 2: and he would. I remember one time he came on
Speaker 2: and you know Kevin and Kevin, you banks, he going,
Speaker 2: that's Kevin, ke Kevin's people in the park A lost
Speaker 2: stealing hub caps and I go, no, no, I don't
Speaker 2: have hug caps anymore. You know. You know what's interesting.
Speaker 2: I remember seeing Rickles once and Rickles never swore that's right, okay,
Speaker 2: But when he did racial stuff, you know, and and
Speaker 2: the Puerto Rican guy is this, and the black guys this,
Speaker 2: and the younger audience is kind of like hmm, and
Speaker 2: older people laugh hysterically. And then he had a joke
Speaker 2: with a punchline with him saying shit, you know, just
Speaker 2: like that, and the young people laughed and the old
Speaker 2: people went, oh yeah. So it was really two different audiences.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's funny. I never had him say do the
Speaker 3: ship joke?
Speaker 2: Well, it was one of those things where you know,
Speaker 2: it leads up to it, and then he said, yeah,
Speaker 2: I can't. I can't remember what the bit was.
Speaker 1: When I first when I first met him, he Peter
Speaker 1: Sally introduced me to Recles and I said, we we
Speaker 1: come on the show, mister Rickles. He went, I gotta
Speaker 1: be honest, kid, I'm gonna wait and see if.
Speaker 2: You're ahead, like okay.
Speaker 1: When he came on the show, he said, I said
Speaker 1: to him, I am I am I hit now.
Speaker 3: He went, no, but I felt sorry.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, And it's funny even strangely lovely, a lovely guy.
Speaker 2: And he grew up in the era when the mob
Speaker 2: guys really controlled it, and till the day he died,
Speaker 2: he would never tell a story. I go down, let
Speaker 2: me ask you about no no, no, no, like I
Speaker 2: remember we went to downtowns once and I said, well,
Speaker 2: let's let's talk like the mob. But yeah, yeah, I mean,
Speaker 2: he would just not even joke about it. He would
Speaker 2: just as well as Larry King.
Speaker 1: You remember Larry was, Yeah, he was he was connected
Speaker 1: in Miami at one point.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was Yeah, that was the old school. Guys.
Speaker 2: Do you ever run into that in Boston when you
Speaker 2: were a kid. Well, i'll tell you. People tell you
Speaker 2: a story. One day I get a call from Sinatra
Speaker 2: had an age named Jack Sularti. They go Jay Sinatra
Speaker 2: watching to play this Italian thing some some benefited in
Speaker 2: a country club in Chicago. It's Italian American thing. And
Speaker 2: you gotta work clean. You understand, you gotta work clean.
Speaker 2: It's gonna be a priest there, you know. I said, okay,
Speaker 2: I'll work clean. So I get there, I get up
Speaker 2: and I do my little thing, you know, I get
Speaker 2: some laughs and thank you very much, and I sit down.
Speaker 2: So they introduced this guy. I'm not going to say
Speaker 2: the name because his kids are still alive, A real gangster, okay.
Speaker 2: And he gets up there. You don't want everyboddy, Hey,
Speaker 2: what the fuck's going on? You know? Like that? And
Speaker 2: the priest goes like this, and the priest goes, but
Speaker 2: the father shut. He's just screaming. I mean, the veins
Speaker 2: are popping. Is that when you see a psych capath,
Speaker 2: just lose it goes. You got your ten grand of
Speaker 2: paper bag? Right? Fu shut Just scrap and the priests
Speaker 2: holding his bag with the ten grand in it like this,
Speaker 2: you know, and he's just.
Speaker 6: And guys are holding him like mother fuck, just go dofter.
Speaker 6: There's just screaming at the guy, you know. And he said,
Speaker 6: I'm like, oh jeesuz. And the crowd is like, oh
Speaker 6: my god because this guy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the way to lose a crowd if you
Speaker 1: if you go psychle on. Yeah, and it doesn't even
Speaker 1: have to be the.
Speaker 2: Priest, just if I remember the story they told, the
Speaker 2: heartwarming story. Some teenagers had broken into his house. Yeah,
Speaker 2: stolen something, Okay. They found them two weeks later, and
Speaker 2: they'd been skinned alive. Somebody somebody hung them by their wrists,
Speaker 2: stripped them and run a straight razor from their arms
Speaker 2: down to their toes and just peeled off horrible peeled
Speaker 2: off a layer of skin until these guys slowly blended it.
Speaker 2: And it was like, oh okay. So so that was
Speaker 2: like scary, you know. So so I'm sitting there and
Speaker 2: just watching this whole thing play out. And they take
Speaker 2: him away, right, So ladies said, he go, hey it,
Speaker 2: come here, come here, he goes. He says, you play golf, Well,
Speaker 2: come on, cod God, come come with you. So he
Speaker 2: and I a the golf card. He goes, you know,
Speaker 2: we we have stallone to come to this. You know
Speaker 2: what he said? He said no, and I said, well,
Speaker 2: you know he started busy fucking explodes again, you know,
Speaker 2: and it's like jumping.
Speaker 1: I could never play golf with a guy who had
Speaker 1: skinned people.
Speaker 2: Exactly, and I'm not doing it again. Do you play? No, No,
Speaker 2: I don't think if you could play it in twenty
Speaker 2: minutes maybe, but I know so if.
Speaker 1: The you know, the carts are ship, I mean, if
Speaker 1: it was maybe if you go there, maybe if you
Speaker 1: had a Corvette.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Corvette. But I mean, but the point of this
Speaker 2: was just most people think, you know, my favorite thing,
Speaker 2: and The French Connection was the best movie to do.
Speaker 2: Whenever you watch TV, when a guy bob put the
Speaker 2: gun down, I know you don't want to shoot me, okay,
Speaker 2: And the guy always puts the gun down and cannon
Speaker 2: or magnum or whoever it is takes the gun away
Speaker 2: from him. Remember that. Remember the French Connection where the
Speaker 2: transit cop the French guy was running from Popeye Doyle.
Speaker 2: He's on the train, he's got a gun and the
Speaker 2: guy goes look, I know you don't want to shoot me.
Speaker 2: You don't want to. He just shoots him at four
Speaker 2: or five. Just's the guy away, Go okay, thank you.
Speaker 2: That's what really happens in real life. All these people
Speaker 2: think they're going to be a hero because they know
Speaker 2: he's really a good guy. To No, there are evil
Speaker 2: people in the world. There are bad guys out there,
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 1: But I'm still I'm still happy about you bringing up Cannon.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I love Cannon.
Speaker 2: You know what.
Speaker 1: Like he was like a three hundred pounds dect fight
Speaker 1: for eight and he would.
Speaker 2: Run after teenager no know what it was, but he
Speaker 2: would park in the alley and there's big Lincoln and
Speaker 2: the crook would run towards him and he don't. The
Speaker 2: drivers don't, and that would hit him, you know, and
Speaker 2: knock him out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, man, I think it's maybe time for a
Speaker 1: Canon reboot.
Speaker 2: I love you.
Speaker 1: If Billy hadn't lost all that weight, it'd be he'd
Speaker 1: be Yeah. But he's all thin and gorgeous. Now that's
Speaker 1: the problem.
Speaker 2: He does look great. He lost he does look like
Speaker 2: one hundred and seventy eight pounds. He wants much, that's unbelieved.
Speaker 2: He lost the whole person Yeah that's crazy, yeh. But
Speaker 2: he looks great. And you know something, I was telling
Speaker 2: him this the other night. A lot of guys that
Speaker 2: used to be fat aren't really funny anymore because their
Speaker 2: whole persona was based on being fa being fat and
Speaker 2: being but you know something, you look and now you're thinking, well,
Speaker 2: he's always been a skinny guy, right, because he doesn't.
Speaker 2: It doesn't reflect in anything that he does. I mean,
Speaker 2: he's really he was a graceful man. I mean we talked.
Speaker 2: It was funny.
Speaker 1: We talked ages ago because he was a big final.
Speaker 1: Laurel and hard he was a big final. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: love Longheart, Oh my god. And one of the things
Speaker 1: about Babe Hardy was that is his grace. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: the lightness of his feet, that kind of it was funny.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: Louis Anderson the same thing, had great dignity about it.
Speaker 2: He moved his hands very slowly and fold them in
Speaker 2: his lap and and and you never fauld sweating on stage.
Speaker 2: But he always had those bits about his mom didn't
Speaker 2: like cats because they licked the butter and all that
Speaker 2: kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: You know, you know, the guys you're talking we're talking about,
Speaker 1: you know that, like Louis was one, Gilbert was another one,
Speaker 1: Gilbert Godfried was another one. Like real kind of idiosyncratic that.
Speaker 1: I don't look, I don't pay a lot of attention
Speaker 1: to the young comics right now.
Speaker 2: I don't know if you do.
Speaker 3: I don't see a ton of that.
Speaker 2: I see a lot of a.
Speaker 1: Lot of the same, like you know, you you know,
Speaker 1: a lot of not as much eccentricity of performance.
Speaker 2: Maybe there's some really good ones.
Speaker 3: I mean I watched Michelle Wolfe on Netflix.
Speaker 2: You see her, you see her new special. You know something.
Speaker 2: I thought it was terrific. Yeah, I thought she was
Speaker 2: really because I thought, you know, when she done all
Speaker 2: the White House stuff, it's like, but that's a terrible gig.
Speaker 2: You've done it. Yeah it's well, but I mean it's
Speaker 2: all politics. It's like, it's how stinging can it be?
Speaker 2: And to watch her latest one, all these are real jokes.
Speaker 2: Yeah she's really and really yeah she's really funny and
Speaker 2: yeah I really enjoyed it. And the one that's done
Speaker 2: in three parts or four parts, that's what I'm talking second,
Speaker 2: and I watch it and I thought, boy, she's really
Speaker 2: really good and it's a shame that she got beat
Speaker 2: up so badly over.
Speaker 1: Well, you know, it happens with the White like Colbert
Speaker 1: would be up pretty badly for what he did at
Speaker 1: the White House as well, but ultimately it worked out
Speaker 1: for him.
Speaker 2: And I think that it's one of those weird gigs.
Speaker 2: The way was dinner.
Speaker 3: I remember when I did it. I talked to you
Speaker 3: before I did it.
Speaker 1: You remember that, yeah, because you remember you said to me,
Speaker 1: it's just not about you. Just remember it's not right, right,
Speaker 1: And I talked to you, and I talked to Drew
Speaker 1: Carey because Drew had done.
Speaker 2: It as well.
Speaker 3: But I thought it was a hard game.
Speaker 2: It was like a really tough corporate Well it's an
Speaker 2: impossible gig, yeah, because everybody's you know, looking in the mirror,
Speaker 2: you know, yeah, that's right. It's like no, it's really no.
Speaker 2: And when you have something about like Obama, who is
Speaker 2: a really good comic, he goes on first. Now you
Speaker 2: follow him. I didn't. I didn't do it with it,
Speaker 2: but I did it with George. I did it with Reagan.
Speaker 2: I'll tell you what I first time, I did it
Speaker 2: with the Reagan. So I'm backstage and this general comes in.
Speaker 2: He goes, hey, hey, hey, you're the comic. Yeah, yes, sir,
Speaker 2: I'm Jane Let. He goes, I'm selling though, this is
Speaker 2: my committed to chief. You understand that this is my boss.
Speaker 2: He is the leader of the free will you don't
Speaker 2: assault him, you don't tell you he's just and he's
Speaker 2: poking me in the chest, you know. And I said, well, okay, yes,
Speaker 2: you understand. Yeah, and then he leaves. Okay. I'm thinking,
Speaker 2: oh man, I'm starting to change jokes now. And then
Speaker 2: and then all of a sudden, George Schultz comes in.
Speaker 2: Remember him, Yeah, and he's really drunk. He goes, now,
Speaker 2: come here, when you get up there, you nail Ronnie's
Speaker 2: ass to the wall. You understand me. I go, but
Speaker 2: that guy, tell me Scar he works for me. I'm like,
Speaker 2: a minute, I'm the defense guy. You make fun of
Speaker 2: that thing on Reagan's you think that's his hair color?
Speaker 2: You think got his real hair color? And I go,
Speaker 2: I don't know, no, you got I said, Now, the
Speaker 2: what do I do? I remember my opening joke was,
Speaker 2: I want to cry to you, late Nancy Reagan. I'm
Speaker 2: winning the Humanitarian of the Year award. I'm glad she
Speaker 2: beat out that conniving little bitch mother Teresa. That's funny,
Speaker 2: Joe and Reagan fell off the chair. I said, well,
Speaker 2: then I knew I was in I knew it was okay,
Speaker 2: but but yeah, but that way it is. It's an
Speaker 2: impossible game. It's really hard.
Speaker 3: Is there any because I've got a couple of jokes.
Speaker 1: One of them was white of course, ononded the dinner
Speaker 1: that I never told that I was going to do
Speaker 1: the joke right to the last minute, and then I did.
Speaker 1: And I have tuned my life that I've never done.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you them in a minute. But do you
Speaker 1: have any that you thought I was going to do this?
Speaker 2: You know what's so funny. The only Joe I remember
Speaker 2: are the ones that made an impression, because as a comic,
Speaker 2: you have things that put a notch in your brain.
Speaker 2: You just remember, like that first joke I told about
Speaker 2: the you know, the Robin hood thing and all that
Speaker 2: I remember, so you remember everything. I remember being five
Speaker 2: years old and my mother taking me too, because we
Speaker 2: didn't have babysitters then, so he just took me everywhere.
Speaker 2: So we went to my aunt and Eddie, my aunt
Speaker 2: Edia's house on the Italian side, and it's all women
Speaker 2: drinking wine. And I'm sitting on the floor and I
Speaker 2: was looking at the women and I said, hey, mom,
Speaker 2: why do women have humps like camels? And they're all
Speaker 2: drunk anyway, and they're all screaming, and I'm thinking, what
Speaker 2: did I said somewhere about humps? And I always remember
Speaker 2: that because they got it. So is a comic. I
Speaker 2: think when you say something and it gets a laugh,
Speaker 2: you just, for the most part pretty much remember it because.
Speaker 1: I'm told you the ones that you made a decision
Speaker 1: not to tell the joke for another.
Speaker 2: One I can't remembo the jokes I can't remember. I
Speaker 2: have two. I'm going to tell you them.
Speaker 1: One was a White House correspondence to her where there
Speaker 1: was a lot of trouble. Was the very last Bush
Speaker 1: and Cheney and all those guys were up there, Rumsfelders
Speaker 1: around all that stuff. And I was going to say
Speaker 1: at the start of it's great to be up here.
Speaker 1: We want to see all these guys together in one
Speaker 1: room again until the trial. And I thought that was
Speaker 1: a pretty good joke, and they said to me, probably good.
Speaker 1: It wasn't the White House. It was one of my
Speaker 1: own guys, said probably a good idea. If you don't
Speaker 1: do that joke, people are still a little you know,
Speaker 1: it's a pretty decent joke. And the other one, I'm
Speaker 1: kind of still thinking that maybe I should have done it,
Speaker 1: and maybe I shouldn't.
Speaker 2: And here's what it was.
Speaker 1: I had a book come out, I own a biography
Speaker 1: come out, right, And it was the same week as
Speaker 1: Ted Kennedy his biography came out. He had just died
Speaker 1: that way right, and Mackenzie Phillips's book come out where
Speaker 1: she talks about having sex with her dad, oh right, right,
Speaker 1: And there were all three of us. Was vying for
Speaker 1: the number one spot in the New York Times bestseller list,
Speaker 1: and I knew I wasn't going to get it because
Speaker 1: Ted Kennedy had died and Mackenzie Phillips talks about having
Speaker 1: sex with their dad, right right. So I was doing
Speaker 1: this event in Union Square, the Barnes and Noble, and
Speaker 1: I wanted to do this joke, and my publicier says,
Speaker 1: that's a great joke, and I beg you don't do it.
Speaker 1: I went okay, but the joke I was going to
Speaker 1: come on stage and say, in my book, Mackenzie Phillips Fox.
Speaker 3: Ted, I didn't do it, and I kind of wish I.
Speaker 2: Had done it, but I'm kind of glad I didn't. No, No,
Speaker 2: that's a funny joke. You know.
Speaker 1: The tempers were flaring at the time, and it was
Speaker 1: probably I.
Speaker 2: Always said that a those things you want to say.
Speaker 2: I'm not going to say who it was, but I
Speaker 2: had someone on who was very sensitive and they've just
Speaker 2: gotten glasses and they had a big nose, and I said,
Speaker 2: and I wanted to say, oh, did the nose come
Speaker 2: with the glasses, But I knew they'd be just yeah,
Speaker 2: they'd be hard.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, well you can you know, you don't want
Speaker 1: to hurt someone's feelings.
Speaker 2: We're not in that game, you know, when I feel better.
Speaker 2: That was the thing about being a talk show. She
Speaker 2: got to know when I was a comedian when I
Speaker 2: did the monologue, and I was a host when I
Speaker 2: did there because a lot of times, yeah, I totally
Speaker 2: in the battle and you lose the war, you know.
Speaker 3: Totally totally. I always felt as well.
Speaker 1: And this is why I love doing your show is
Speaker 1: because I felt like I was You took the word
Speaker 1: host like literally, like I'm here to hold I want
Speaker 1: you to feel good. When you have a good time,
Speaker 1: I want you to enjoy yourself. That's how I took
Speaker 1: that from. You know, it was on your show. I
Speaker 1: was like, no, that's how I want to be because
Speaker 1: I've done other shows where I felt I've got to
Speaker 1: wash my ass here. I mean, you know, I'll put
Speaker 1: one foot wrong and I'm going to be made a
Speaker 1: fool of. And I never felt that when I was
Speaker 1: working with you, and I hope that anyone who was
Speaker 1: on my old wo felt the same way. Was like,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not I don't know here. And funny enough,
Speaker 1: I was talking to and Ball the other day, who
Speaker 1: was like my number one all time, you know, she
Speaker 1: like on the show every other week.
Speaker 3: She was great, she was you know, everyone has a guest.
Speaker 2: I'm sure you had him, and I'm going to ask
Speaker 2: you who was in a minute.
Speaker 1: But but I was talking to her and she said, well,
Speaker 1: it was weird for me because because I always thought
Speaker 1: she was a great improviser. And she said, no, I
Speaker 1: hate that. I always like knowing what I'm going to do.
Speaker 2: I was like, that's weird. I always thought you loved improvise,
Speaker 2: and then that's why you always did my show. And
Speaker 2: she went no, I just trusted you, right.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh that's great. It makes me feel yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and so tell me who you were? Who are your
Speaker 1: go tos? You know, Terry Bradshaw was pretty good. He's
Speaker 1: very funny.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know the remember he had a talk show. Yes,
Speaker 2: that's right, she at the daytime talk show or something.
Speaker 2: You know, Terry was the best one ever. And you
Speaker 2: could not have planned this. He comes out and he
Speaker 2: goes jay. I heard that monologue. That monologue sucked. That
Speaker 2: was the worst jokes ever. He's just trash around me. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and I said, I said, you know, I can shut
Speaker 2: you down with four words. No, no, you can't. I
Speaker 2: can't what I said, your fly is open. And his
Speaker 2: pants were wide open. Oh my god. And he looked
Speaker 2: down and he fell off the Cherry's laughing so hard.
Speaker 2: He just felt so stupid. He was. He was a
Speaker 2: great one. I said, I had him thirty maybe fifty
Speaker 2: four times. And the comics are always good. You were good.
Speaker 2: Jerry was good. Robin Williams of course was good. Yeah,
Speaker 2: Robin kind of took coover. I used to like that.
Speaker 2: You just hand him the ring, yeah right right, you
Speaker 2: just let him go. You couldn't interact with him. But
Speaker 2: you know what my favorite two was with Rodney because
Speaker 2: when I would watch Rodney with Johnny, Johnny wuld beat
Speaker 2: the straight mane tough week, Rodney, Oh, Johnny, I tell
Speaker 2: you this week is all right, but last week it
Speaker 2: was cold, really was cold out, so oh Johnny was
Speaker 2: so cold, and yeah, when I would get Rodney, Oh,
Speaker 2: that was my favorite thing to uh, but a tough week,
Speaker 2: go oh Jay, I'll tell you it's it's all right now.
Speaker 2: But last week I got to tell you know, did
Speaker 2: I tell my Rodney story about No, I'll tell you
Speaker 2: Rodney's story. I've told this story. But I had Rodney
Speaker 2: on the show.
Speaker 3: Okay, Rodney Dangers Rodney in two.
Speaker 2: Thousand and four. And Rodney was a little older, yeah,
Speaker 2: a little more frail. And he comes up and he's
Speaker 2: doing the show. He's doing his stand up. I knowic
Speaker 2: he's sweating more than you know. As someone who watches
Speaker 2: comics and you know them personally, you can tell when
Speaker 2: they're a little off. You know, I could tell what
Speaker 2: Jerry's killing, but it's it's not his normal super hard kill.
Speaker 2: It's just a real And Rodney he would always touch
Speaker 2: his tie. This time his hands were kind of He's
Speaker 2: just a little you know. I watched it, so I
Speaker 2: said to Debbie, our producer Wie vickcause I said, I said,
Speaker 2: I think Rodney's having a stroke. Call the cops, call
Speaker 2: it paramedics. She goes, you think I think he is? Yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: so if he sits now, Jay, I will tell you.
Speaker 2: I'm all right now, Jay. But last week, you know,
Speaker 2: and he's he's and he's got the handkerchief and he's
Speaker 2: really sweating. But he gets through it and he does fine. Okay,
Speaker 2: now the show ends. Just as the show ends, Roddy
Speaker 2: goes through Jessingham and the paramedics come in and I say,
Speaker 2: so going to say Rodney, as the paramira, I think
Speaker 2: made stroke. I didn't have a stroke. Well he did
Speaker 2: have a stroke. You saw that. Well, he was just off.
Speaker 2: He was just off. So they took him away in
Speaker 2: an ambulance. He went to the hospital. I didn't live
Speaker 2: much longer than that. And then his wife Joan calls me.
Speaker 2: He says, you got to come to the hospital. Rodney's
Speaker 2: in a coma. Okay. I get there and Roddy's lion there.
Speaker 2: His eyes are open and she says Jay. The doctor says,
Speaker 2: Rodney can hear us, but he can't respond to us,
Speaker 2: you know. So I'm telling him how much we love
Speaker 2: him and how great he was to all his comics,
Speaker 2: you know, letting us work Rodney's Club and yeah, Rodney
Speaker 2: Dangerfields and all blah blah blah blah. So his wife
Speaker 2: John says, Rodney, she goes, Jay, put your finger in
Speaker 2: Rodney's hand. She goes, Rodney, if you know it's Jay,
Speaker 2: try and squeeze his finger. So I put my finger
Speaker 2: in Rodney's hand like this, and I went, Rodney, that's
Speaker 2: not my finger, okay. And Rodney' shoulders go like this.
Speaker 2: They just move and he moved and the doctor comes.
Speaker 2: He move me together, and he died right after that.
Speaker 2: But you got to laugh. Yeah, we got to laugh
Speaker 2: out of Rodney, you know. And it was kind of
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't say it to be mean or
Speaker 2: to be funny. He just is a life well led
Speaker 2: you know, he and he was a wonderful guy, and
Speaker 2: he was a smart guy. You know, you never met
Speaker 2: Rodney well you know the whole thing about being an
Speaker 2: aluminum siding salesman. You know, if comedy doesn't make him
Speaker 2: well he did. He was a lumin siding salesman. But
Speaker 2: he was a great luminicidning sales he was. He was
Speaker 2: so successful he quit show business to sell a woman signing. Then,
Speaker 2: at age forty four, his face finally grew into his act.
Speaker 2: He began to look like the sad sack that he was.
Speaker 2: And that's when he really became famous. Because see, I
Speaker 2: remember Rodney before he had no respect when he used
Speaker 2: to do bits right and he would do bad. I
Speaker 2: remember one bit he had. I can't recreate it, but
Speaker 2: this is the essence of it. He goes walking the
Speaker 2: flight to sixty five Airlines. He'd be the pilot, you know,
Speaker 2: I go, we're flying over right now over to Indiana
Speaker 2: rather a desolate park. If you look down on the
Speaker 2: left side of the plane, you can see the remains
Speaker 2: of flight four eighteen that crashed right there in the ground.
Speaker 2: Bob you with me on that one, weren't you. It
Speaker 2: was just like a just hilarious, just like a funny
Speaker 2: almost like a very Bob Newhart.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And then later he got into doing bits. Do
Speaker 2: you ever see a movie called The Projectionist? It was
Speaker 2: done I think in sixty nine Rodney was in that
Speaker 2: place that he was good. He was good and back
Speaker 2: to school. One of the funniest yeah, to me, that
Speaker 2: that thing about in the union. Yeah, the guy goes,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna build an imaginary factory. Oh yeah, how are
Speaker 2: you gonna pay off this guy? And pay off that guy?
Speaker 2: You know? And just so funny. Yeah, he was really
Speaker 2: the funniest guy. And I knew Rodney forty years. I
Speaker 2: have no idea if he's a Democrat. I have no
Speaker 2: idea if he's a Republican. All we ever talked about
Speaker 2: with jokes he had, that is true. With he had,
Speaker 2: he had quick jokes. One of my favorite Rodney jokes
Speaker 2: is I will pass the strip joint. I said, topless
Speaker 2: and bottomless. I went in. There was nobody there. I mean,
Speaker 2: it's a great topless nobody that. Yeah, that's that's great.
Speaker 2: That The other joke you had, like my doctor said,
Speaker 2: and a seamen sample and he still sampling into your
Speaker 2: own sample, so I gave my underpants. You know, just
Speaker 2: those kinds just so stupid kind of jokes and just
Speaker 2: just hilarious, just hilarious.
Speaker 1: You ever intimidated by anyone that you ever you ever
Speaker 1: have a guest and you guys actually get nervous.
Speaker 3: I had a couple, but you ever have any when
Speaker 3: you think one day?
Speaker 2: So I'll tell you about Sean Connor for Roger Moore.
Speaker 2: And what tell you? I said, where do you go
Speaker 2: on vacation? Where you go to India? Going to India?
Speaker 7: Quite often go to India. Yeah that's quite a trip.
Speaker 7: Oh not really, Well, how oft do you go? Oh well,
Speaker 7: going every weekend, every weekend to India. Yes, yeah, I
Speaker 7: mean that's it's not a long flight.
Speaker 2: No no, no, we tried really to India.
Speaker 4: From from England. No, no, from California. He was trying
Speaker 4: to say Indio, Indio. Oh, it's just like a whole
Speaker 4: wasted segment.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're trying to talk about.
Speaker 2: And Sean Connor is my favorite because Sean Connor is
Speaker 2: the only guy I have heard my mother referred to
Speaker 2: in a sexual way. That's a real man, Jamie. Oh yeah, no,
Speaker 2: the women were differently.
Speaker 1: I introduced my wife to Sean Connery and her breast
Speaker 1: let up and I didn't even know bres that's right. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Sean Connery probably went through life thinking that women's breast
Speaker 1: let up all the time.
Speaker 2: That's right.
Speaker 1: I've never that's the only time I've seen it happen.
Speaker 1: I introduced her to and she went, oh, hello, Sean,
Speaker 1: nice to meet you. He's like, very nice to meet
Speaker 1: your Megan.
Speaker 2: Boom, Hello Push.
Speaker 1: Well he didn't talk to our bottom department, he I
Speaker 1: mean her, but it was really.
Speaker 2: I know, well most people don't know. He was mister
Speaker 2: Universe third runner up. Yeah, nineteen fifty three. He was
Speaker 2: a long shoreman and he was a tough sound very tough.
Speaker 3: You know the story about him and Johnny Stumpinado.
Speaker 2: Oh no, you getting the fight with Johnny.
Speaker 1: Johnny Stumpinado brings a gun on at the set. I
Speaker 1: can't remember the movie. He was doing a movie with
Speaker 1: Lara Turner and the rumor was that Big Tam as
Speaker 1: he's known in Scotland or Sean Connery was having an
Speaker 1: affair with lannat Turner, which knowing him and knowing.
Speaker 2: About Orisday, it's probably it's good.
Speaker 1: Even money bet Stompnado, who's our gangster boyfriend, turns up,
Speaker 1: points a gun that showing, points a handgun at showing.
Speaker 1: He takes the gun, He smacks ahead of the gun
Speaker 1: and she got the fuck out. He don't bring a
Speaker 1: gun onto a place of one. I mean it's like
Speaker 1: he was a tough guy. He was a very tough
Speaker 1: part of Edinburgh, and he was very kind.
Speaker 2: Of And he's the only guy you know what you
Speaker 2: always hear a jokes and knee slamper. Yeah, he's the
Speaker 2: only guy I ever saw slept what's the leadst filthy
Speaker 2: jewel going about? G you know? And I tell him,
Speaker 2: I mean he would like he was a pirate. And
Speaker 2: he was the only guy that ever took a shower
Speaker 2: in a tonight showed jesssing room because the justsing room
Speaker 2: is smaller on this I remember a shower, but noo,
Speaker 2: he's and he would sing and the news crew, news guys,
Speaker 2: news had to run down with the headphones. Who's shouting down?
Speaker 2: I said, Sean Connery, Oh yeah, but oh yeah, you
Speaker 2: know it was it was he. They took this rough thug.
Speaker 2: They put him in a savile roast suit. They teld
Speaker 2: him a little bit about wine, so he came across.
Speaker 2: He was the only really dangerous bond I never got.
Speaker 2: Roger More is always a pill, very dope boy guy.
Speaker 2: He's kind of like the comedy Yeah, you know, but
Speaker 2: him and and Daniel Craig.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I could believe Daniel Craig.
Speaker 2: But Sean Curry had the height, he had the weight,
Speaker 2: he had the threat. This was pretty good for the
Speaker 2: nineteen But Sean Conny just had the physical presence. I mean.
Speaker 2: The Bond films are funny, Be Goes gold Finger the man,
Speaker 2: but a big fat guy can barely speak English, slabbering
Speaker 2: over himself. How was this guy in the song? But yeah,
Speaker 2: in the in the in the song women, Oh he's
Speaker 2: cold finger you know, oh please you know that Sean Connery.
Speaker 2: I think it's in the movie Goldfinger.
Speaker 1: He wears a little toweling many like it's like little
Speaker 1: shorty short, oh yeah, and a zip that goes up
Speaker 1: the front and a little thing like that. It's the
Speaker 1: most ridiculous looking at it. Oh yeah, And I remember
Speaker 1: we were watching it, like when one of my boys
Speaker 1: was Lettle. We're watching introducing them to a know bone movie.
Speaker 1: In my I said to Meghan, that's uh, that's a
Speaker 1: stupid looking.
Speaker 2: At it that. She went, No, one shot Conery. I
Speaker 2: did a breastlet up again. Oh yeah, wow. And he
Speaker 2: wasn't even there. Yeah he was.
Speaker 3: He was quite a guy, he was. He was very impressive.
Speaker 2: I mean, he was a guy for his time. And
Speaker 2: but you watch it now and it's so incredibly sexy shock. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but it was what it was.
Speaker 1: Anyway, Look, buddy, we're done for the recording and I
Speaker 1: can talk anything.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're done.
Speaker 3: Would listen that one pretty quick. Yeah, Well, you know
Speaker 3: we do talk a lot.
Speaker 1: Yeah, a lot more than I talked to any other
Speaker 1: former host of The Tonight Oh, there you go.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're the one I talked to. Well, there you go.
Speaker 1: And I think that you know, I had such a
Speaker 1: good time when we were doing gigs with our Senio
Speaker 1: this summer.
Speaker 3: We should do it again.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love doing those.
Speaker 3: He's a he's a great guy too.
Speaker 2: He's a great guy. I tell you a story about
Speaker 2: our Sceno. It was so funny. I think I told
Speaker 2: you about with berrimanelog you know what I say, No,
Speaker 2: tell me. Well, he was the only real threat. That
Speaker 2: was one Carson was afraid of our senior. Well because
Speaker 2: it was hip. Yeah, he was black, it was young,
Speaker 2: it was it was everything Johnny wasn't you know. And
Speaker 2: you know, like when Dana Carvey did Carcinio, he did
Speaker 2: a comedy oppression of a brilliant impression Johnny just hated.
Speaker 2: Made him very nervous. Anyway, So the first night of
Speaker 2: our Sinio show, he goes, You're not going to see
Speaker 2: Barry Manilo's ass on this show. This show is all
Speaker 2: about the funk. It's about to mute hit it, you know,
Speaker 2: the band place of a game, right, Okay, So I
Speaker 2: remember watching that show Man. Now this is the time
Speaker 2: when he and I were supposed to be fighting, right,
Speaker 2: so you understanding, well he had I'm going to kick
Speaker 2: Leno's ass. All this stuff going on. You know, it's
Speaker 2: funny because I think you two is being very good.
Speaker 2: We were very good friend yeah yeah, and we were
Speaker 2: even even during that. So anyway, so I'm watching him
Speaker 2: every night to make sure we don't do the same jokes.
Speaker 2: You you need to do that, you know. And I
Speaker 2: hear him say about December. Now come on, I guess
Speaker 2: in September. About December. He goes, and next week on
Speaker 2: the show, Barry Madelow. You know, I have to say sorry.
Speaker 2: The next call like, oh hi, can I speak to you,
Speaker 2: Senor Hall, This is Jay Leonard. Just a minute. Oh
Speaker 2: he doesn't want to speak to you, just just he
Speaker 2: doesn't want to speak to you. I said, no, he
Speaker 2: needs to hear what I have to say. You know,
Speaker 2: he goes, what do you want to what do you want? Oh?
Speaker 2: Next week, very Menelo he falls off the chair. He's laughing.
Speaker 2: So how I go, Oh, he wants to see his
Speaker 2: ass come back. Because you realize when you do these
Speaker 2: shows you need everybody, buddy, all you gotta take. You
Speaker 2: can't be every night, you gotta have but and and
Speaker 2: from that point now we both laughed at at it.
Speaker 1: You know, when the news broke that I was going
Speaker 1: to do the late night show. When I was taking
Speaker 1: it over, I was a YouTube concert in Forum in
Speaker 1: Los Angeles, and you know the little backstage, Yeah, some
Speaker 1: backstage there and Chris Rock is there and he comes
Speaker 1: over and he goes, you're the guy taking over the
Speaker 1: show and I went yeah. He goes, you guys do
Speaker 1: that ship every fucking night? And I went yeah, and
Speaker 1: he went, no, man, every fucking night.
Speaker 3: I went yeah. And then it kind of haunted me.
Speaker 2: Was like a movie. See. I found every night easier
Speaker 2: because if it didn't go well, I got some I
Speaker 2: can't stop and dwell, I got to move on.
Speaker 1: That is the glory of it. But the truth is,
Speaker 1: but the time I was done, I mean, what did
Speaker 1: you do twenty five.
Speaker 2: Years, twenty two years, twenty three, Well, I mean twenty
Speaker 2: five kind of guessing, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I had ten years, and yeah that's there's a
Speaker 1: bit two more than I really.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it wasn't there appointment. You're like, no, I'm pretty
Speaker 2: good at simple, repetitive fasts. So yeah, well I enjoy
Speaker 2: you know, I enjoyed it. I liked the discipline of
Speaker 2: writing writing jokes every day. I like great, I like
Speaker 2: the great pencils down, I gotta go. Okay, if it didn't,
Speaker 2: if the show wasn't any good, I got another show
Speaker 2: tomorrow and three days later you forgot about that show
Speaker 2: that wasn't very good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was true, it was.
Speaker 1: It's interesting to know that that all these shows hang
Speaker 1: around and people pick apart from a show and broadcasting like, I.
Speaker 2: Don't even remember doing that. I know, I know, it's crazy.
Speaker 2: You know, it's different. You know. The saddest thing about
Speaker 2: late night is everybody doing it is really good. The
Speaker 2: trouble is, you have these streaming services. You can watch
Speaker 2: the Lord of the Wings trilogy without commercials. You can
Speaker 2: watch all three Godfather movies. You know, every talk show
Speaker 2: you watch now, because the viewing audience is smaller, there's
Speaker 2: even more commercials. So you watch the monologue five and
Speaker 2: a half minutes and seven minutes of commercials, then six
Speaker 2: and a half minutes a show than nine minutes after
Speaker 2: midnight of commercials, and it just makes it, you know.
Speaker 2: And it's not the it's not the host fault.
Speaker 1: It's just there's so much Yeah, exactly, Yeah, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I'm glad I got out with it.
Speaker 2: We got at the right time. Oh we did. Yeah,
Speaker 2: nobody's making that kind of money anymore. All right, Well,
Speaker 2: let's get the fuck out. Yet's drive a car somewhere. Yeah, anytime,