1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:00,840 Speaker 1: Hi, who is this. 2 00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:04,680 Speaker 2: My name is Ivan, and thanks for taking my call there. 3 00:00:05,080 --> 00:00:07,960 Speaker 1: Of course, Ivan, you're so man, you're so polite. 4 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:12,240 Speaker 2: No, I get that a lot. It's most awkwardness, but 5 00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:12,960 Speaker 2: I appreciate it. 6 00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:14,960 Speaker 1: You get this a lot, You get a lot that 7 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,520 Speaker 1: you're polite. 8 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,759 Speaker 2: Yes, I would certainly say. 9 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:22,160 Speaker 1: So tell me more about that. Why do you think 10 00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:22,919 Speaker 1: you're so polite? 11 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:26,560 Speaker 2: Uh? Oh? Man, Well, I can go through the years 12 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:31,640 Speaker 2: of therapy. But it's it's probably like a that's mechanism saying. 13 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:34,800 Speaker 2: It's like a way to see not off putting, but 14 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:37,600 Speaker 2: also kind of show the people, Hey, I'm a cool dude. 15 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:39,640 Speaker 2: You can talk to me. I won't, you know, be 16 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:42,000 Speaker 2: too terribly weird, you know, one of those sorts of 17 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:43,239 Speaker 2: things interesting. 18 00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:47,920 Speaker 1: Interesting the way you phrase it, is it like, is 19 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:51,760 Speaker 1: this a way of being that you have designed and 20 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:56,920 Speaker 1: perfected or is it just something that came naturally to you. 21 00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:00,640 Speaker 2: Oh, it's absolutely a mask that has been perfected over 22 00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:06,280 Speaker 2: the years. That is without question. I'd say it's probably 23 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:08,280 Speaker 2: not too fake of a mask. It's more like a 24 00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:11,920 Speaker 2: defense mechanism thing where it allows me to kind of 25 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:14,039 Speaker 2: be friends with people that I meet in life and 26 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:18,200 Speaker 2: I don't know I guess it's just always worked for me, 27 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:20,200 Speaker 2: so I kind of stick with it and I kind 28 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:22,760 Speaker 2: of like it in some ways. Some ways, by the ways, 29 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:24,479 Speaker 2: that's not so great, but I think in most ways 30 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:24,920 Speaker 2: it's Okay. 31 00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:29,560 Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I don't know if this is rude to ask, Okay, 32 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:32,440 Speaker 1: go for it. Do you have Do you have autism? 33 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:34,000 Speaker 3: Uh? 34 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:38,080 Speaker 2: You know, I think that about myself, although I've asked 35 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:41,760 Speaker 2: a lot and no one's in my therapy history like 36 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:46,479 Speaker 2: made that diagnosis. If I am, and I do believe 37 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:48,800 Speaker 2: I'm somewhere on the spectrum, it would be like probably 38 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:52,280 Speaker 2: some form of high functioning thing. And if it's anything 39 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:55,360 Speaker 2: deeper than that, it's probably something like, you know, verbal 40 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:59,520 Speaker 2: communication is my thing, where like I hyper fixate on 41 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:02,400 Speaker 2: how a much speaking, what I'm talking about, all this 42 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:04,760 Speaker 2: other thing, you know, hyper aware how people are talking 43 00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:07,600 Speaker 2: to me, and basically all the typical queue based stuff. 44 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:11,440 Speaker 2: But yeah, I'd say it's probably not too far Interuth. 45 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:15,519 Speaker 1: Well, because I know that they were talking about you. 46 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:17,120 Speaker 1: You know, do you watch do you watch the rehearsal 47 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:21,799 Speaker 1: by Nathan Fielder? No, But I'm interested, okay, because they 48 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:24,959 Speaker 1: talk about masking, they talk about autism on that show 49 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:27,680 Speaker 1: and they talk about masking, and I know that that 50 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:30,799 Speaker 1: is like a like like that's a thing. 51 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:36,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's It's been brought up in past conversations 52 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:39,680 Speaker 2: with you know, therapists I've had where I talk about that, 53 00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:42,560 Speaker 2: and the way it kind of comes back is, I mean, 54 00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:44,800 Speaker 2: it really depends on what era of my life, but 55 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:46,880 Speaker 2: most of it has been like, hey, you know, you're 56 00:02:46,919 --> 00:02:48,960 Speaker 2: sort of trying to protect yourself while also trying to 57 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,680 Speaker 2: be you know, the person you say you're trying to be, 58 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:54,720 Speaker 2: which is difficult to deny yourself, to hold yourself to 59 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:56,480 Speaker 2: like a high standard, all that kind of stuff. So 60 00:02:56,520 --> 00:03:02,079 Speaker 2: it's like anxiety induced but also like a seeming effective strategy. 61 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:05,080 Speaker 2: But it's it's weird. I don't know, I just know 62 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,920 Speaker 2: I'm I'm I'm a little kooky, and most people seem 63 00:03:07,919 --> 00:03:09,480 Speaker 2: to be okay with it. 64 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:15,240 Speaker 1: Is is that exult like masking? And do you do 65 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:18,000 Speaker 1: you feel like you're performing? Do you feel like you're 66 00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:22,160 Speaker 1: like having to put effort into existing in in an 67 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:23,239 Speaker 1: intentional way? 68 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:31,160 Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, definitely, if I mean I can be a 69 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:32,799 Speaker 2: little more open and to say, like, you know, one 70 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:35,880 Speaker 2: of the one of my little weird quirks is I'm 71 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:40,680 Speaker 2: constantly talking to myself in very strange situations. You know, 72 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,880 Speaker 2: I'm taking a shower, I'm walking down the road. I'm 73 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:47,720 Speaker 2: constantly rehearsing conversations in my head with imaginary people or 74 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:50,360 Speaker 2: real people in my life. And it's kind of like 75 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:52,520 Speaker 2: a way to prepare myself for what I know to 76 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:55,240 Speaker 2: be awkward conversation or a way to kind of like 77 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:59,000 Speaker 2: feel the emotion ahead of time. You know, that's all 78 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:01,360 Speaker 2: kind of been trained into me, at least to understand 79 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:03,920 Speaker 2: the words for it. But I think it's been around 80 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:05,960 Speaker 2: for a long time in my history of just how 81 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:08,760 Speaker 2: I interact with people. But it does get very tiring. 82 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:12,000 Speaker 2: Sometimes it can be opposite, depending on like the people 83 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:15,640 Speaker 2: I'm around. I can be almost motive, almost energized by it, because, 84 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:18,440 Speaker 2: like you know, if you're being kind of a kindly person, 85 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:21,080 Speaker 2: other people kind of react to that in a kindly way, 86 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:23,680 Speaker 2: and so it kind of perks you up. But on 87 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,520 Speaker 2: the days where that's not quite so easy, you know, 88 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:27,880 Speaker 2: the control I like to be in my computer room 89 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:30,359 Speaker 2: and do my computer the things, so you know, just 90 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:31,640 Speaker 2: just messing back. 91 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:35,480 Speaker 1: Bro, you absolutely have to watch the rehearsal. 92 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:39,080 Speaker 2: Okay, I'm I'm opening up the Googles. 93 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:42,560 Speaker 1: Now, do you know do you know who Nathan Fielder is? 94 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:45,279 Speaker 1: If you ever heard of Nathan for you, I. 95 00:04:45,279 --> 00:04:48,040 Speaker 2: I haven't, and I'm pretty sure I need to. I 96 00:04:48,279 --> 00:04:52,360 Speaker 2: don't know things about the modern world I've been under 97 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:54,600 Speaker 2: for basically all my life. So I'm happy to th 98 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:55,400 Speaker 2: all about it though. 99 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:57,839 Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, now you should, you should. You should watch 100 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,920 Speaker 1: the rehearsal. It's well, it's extremely funny, but be maybe 101 00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:05,040 Speaker 1: it'll maybe it it'll you'll connect with it in that way. 102 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:08,680 Speaker 1: But anyway, yeah, okay, So that's what I was gonna 103 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:12,039 Speaker 1: ask you, is it's like that way of being where 104 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:13,960 Speaker 1: you feel like you're performing and you you kind of 105 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,360 Speaker 1: answer my question already. But that must be exhausting. 106 00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:20,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And I'll tell you a part that I 107 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:24,320 Speaker 2: don't quite like about it is oftentimes when it is exhausting, 108 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:27,320 Speaker 2: it becomes almost a bit of a resentment sometimes, which 109 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:30,960 Speaker 2: is where the therapy comes in, because there's a part 110 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,640 Speaker 2: of me that tries so incredibly hard to kind of 111 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,280 Speaker 2: be there for the other person, you know, to kind 112 00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:39,120 Speaker 2: of be at their conversational level, and if it's not 113 00:05:39,279 --> 00:05:42,440 Speaker 2: feeling like it's returned, well, there's you know, there's the exhaustion. 114 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:45,240 Speaker 2: There's that you know, sort of feeling of, well, you know, 115 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:47,039 Speaker 2: why aren't you trying in the same way I seem 116 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:48,920 Speaker 2: to be trying. And then you know, sometimes it makes 117 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:51,360 Speaker 2: you try harder, which is more tiring, and I can 118 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:53,000 Speaker 2: already feel myself finally. 119 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:56,799 Speaker 1: M m hmmm. So that does that make you feel resentment? 120 00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:00,000 Speaker 1: It makes you feel Okay, So you're having a conversation 121 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:03,960 Speaker 1: with someone and you're putting like all your fucking effort 122 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:08,720 Speaker 1: into having this social interaction, and it's like taking everything 123 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:12,080 Speaker 1: that you've got to have this social interaction, and you 124 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:15,160 Speaker 1: can tell on the other ends that the other person 125 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:22,520 Speaker 1: is not either having to or even wanting to, put 126 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:24,680 Speaker 1: in as much effort as you're putting in, and then 127 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:28,960 Speaker 1: that leads you to resent that person, is what you're. 128 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:32,840 Speaker 2: Saying in a weird way. Yeah, and maybe it resents 129 00:06:32,839 --> 00:06:35,640 Speaker 2: the wrong word, but it makes me feel disconnected and 130 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:38,560 Speaker 2: sort of even more awkward, you know, even more aware 131 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:40,520 Speaker 2: of the fact that I'm doing what I'm doing. So, 132 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:43,440 Speaker 2: you know, I guess some of my closest friends that 133 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:47,080 Speaker 2: I've had in life have been people that don't make 134 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:49,320 Speaker 2: me feel that way. I guess people that just kind of, 135 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:52,880 Speaker 2: you know, automatically, I guess rock whatever it is, I'm 136 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:56,400 Speaker 2: thrown at them. And you know, I think that's also 137 00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:58,960 Speaker 2: tell you why I tend to have I've had very few, 138 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:01,919 Speaker 2: very close friends in life. I made lots of acquaintances 139 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:05,119 Speaker 2: that lots of people, you know, very friendly to them. Uh, 140 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:06,640 Speaker 2: and you can kind of get along with folks. But 141 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:09,200 Speaker 2: in terms of close personal relationships, yeah, I know, it's 142 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:12,280 Speaker 2: it's very admitted. In fact now is it's kind of 143 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:14,000 Speaker 2: why I was I was calling in because it's sort 144 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,800 Speaker 2: of related to what's going on in life now. Is 145 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:21,520 Speaker 2: just I'm probably at the least number of personal connections 146 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:24,160 Speaker 2: I have, and I'm just you know, reaching out to 147 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:26,720 Speaker 2: the world to see what other people think about that. 148 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:31,559 Speaker 1: I guess I was actually about to say, I don't 149 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:38,040 Speaker 1: think your situation is not uncommon by any stretch of 150 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:42,560 Speaker 1: the imagination, because A it's dude, it's really in general, 151 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:47,440 Speaker 1: no matter who you are, it's really really hard to 152 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:54,640 Speaker 1: find people that you feel strongly connected with, that you 153 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:58,160 Speaker 1: feel like get you, that you feel like even for 154 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:04,400 Speaker 1: even for people who who don't have you know, strong 155 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:10,280 Speaker 1: uh uh uh impulses to to to mask themselves. Like 156 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:13,360 Speaker 1: for for it's hard to find people that you can 157 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:17,240 Speaker 1: connect with. It's hard to find like the experience of 158 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:22,280 Speaker 1: feeling like you're putting an effort into connecting to people 159 00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:25,600 Speaker 1: and that you're not getting it back. A. I've had 160 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:30,560 Speaker 1: that experience in my personal life. Uh, constantly, constantly had 161 00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:32,640 Speaker 1: that experience in my personal life. And B I think 162 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:38,880 Speaker 1: it's I think it's a a very universal experience. So 163 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:41,760 Speaker 1: I don't I don't think. I don't know if that 164 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:42,920 Speaker 1: makes you feel I don't know if that makes you 165 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:44,360 Speaker 1: feel any better about the fact that. 166 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:48,400 Speaker 2: You're experiences weird. Yeah, I know it's because it's not. 167 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:51,679 Speaker 1: That's no, it's not a weird thing, especially because you 168 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:54,080 Speaker 1: seem like, I don't know, I've only known you for 169 00:08:55,679 --> 00:09:01,040 Speaker 1: nine minutes or so, but you seem like a like 170 00:09:00,679 --> 00:09:07,800 Speaker 1: a like a smart, aware, you know, conscious person, And 171 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:11,600 Speaker 1: when you're that, it's harder to it's harder to connect 172 00:09:11,679 --> 00:09:16,280 Speaker 1: with other people. It's just in you know. But on 173 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:22,040 Speaker 1: that But the good news for people who have trouble, 174 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:25,880 Speaker 1: you know, finding finding those connections is that when you 175 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:29,160 Speaker 1: do find those connections, even if they're not you know, 176 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:32,800 Speaker 1: on the quantity side of things, even if they're not 177 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:38,080 Speaker 1: like a lot, they're they're very deep connections, and that's 178 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,280 Speaker 1: worth that's worth a lot, you know, So you could 179 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:43,320 Speaker 1: if you wanted to do a quantitative analysis of how 180 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:49,000 Speaker 1: many friends you have, I think that that's a it's 181 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:53,199 Speaker 1: it's not the right analysis to be doing, you know, 182 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:55,319 Speaker 1: because it's if you if you find people that you 183 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:58,360 Speaker 1: can connect with on a deep basis, I mean, that's rare, 184 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:02,480 Speaker 1: I think, especially for you know, if you're if you're 185 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:05,240 Speaker 1: you know, as as I get the sense that you are, 186 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:07,440 Speaker 1: you know, a smart, conscious person. 187 00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:14,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's I I mean the longest friendship I've had 188 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:18,680 Speaker 2: was since I was maybe fifteen or sixteen, and the 189 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:20,520 Speaker 2: person I was friends with I would say I very 190 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:23,839 Speaker 2: much had that connection with and because of going through 191 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:26,880 Speaker 2: a lot of personal just sort of nonsense and choices, 192 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:31,040 Speaker 2: I basically push that person away. And you know, it's 193 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:34,800 Speaker 2: one of those things where I certainly try to re 194 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:39,400 Speaker 2: establish a connection and and talk, but it's it is 195 00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:42,240 Speaker 2: very difficult because there's the connection to part of like, Okay, 196 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:45,120 Speaker 2: well the person I am now the person that I was, 197 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:47,559 Speaker 2: is it worth it. There's a fear to that. It's 198 00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:51,520 Speaker 2: a silly fear. I know, but I do miss having 199 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:54,440 Speaker 2: that sort of a lot of connection. So at least 200 00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:57,040 Speaker 2: knowing that, hey, I am, in fact in a populace 201 00:10:57,120 --> 00:11:00,160 Speaker 2: of other humans are doing the exact same thing, and 202 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:03,600 Speaker 2: get goes. I suppose it's not too it's not too bad. 203 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:06,120 Speaker 2: It's good to them. 204 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:11,880 Speaker 1: Okay, so you said you specifically wanted to call in 205 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:16,720 Speaker 1: to talk about this. Uh, I wanted to let you 206 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:21,280 Speaker 1: speak your piece for a second, like what, yeah, what 207 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:24,760 Speaker 1: exactly tell me like of the situation that you find 208 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:25,320 Speaker 1: yourself in. 209 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:30,439 Speaker 2: Okay, it's it's not too complicated, but it takes a 210 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,679 Speaker 2: little bit of context. So if I go too long, 211 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:33,800 Speaker 2: please just let me know. 212 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:34,520 Speaker 1: Go ahead. 213 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:38,240 Speaker 2: So the context is, you know, I mentioned I met 214 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:40,319 Speaker 2: this friend when I was fifteen or sixteen, and he's 215 00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:42,160 Speaker 2: my friend. He was my friend until I was you know, 216 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,320 Speaker 2: mid toly twenties. And the reason I met him was 217 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:47,200 Speaker 2: I was playing a video game long time ago, Go 218 00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:51,880 Speaker 2: Darky Camelot, No anyone recognizes it, Go you. But at 219 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,480 Speaker 2: the same time, I was also playing a lot of 220 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:56,960 Speaker 2: card games Pokemon to TCG is, playing out the tournaments, 221 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,719 Speaker 2: got lots of friends, you know, traveling the country kind 222 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:03,400 Speaker 2: of thing, you know, and so you know, basically my 223 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:07,520 Speaker 2: closest friend, my closest friends in general, my family kind 224 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:11,839 Speaker 2: of revolved around this hobby that you know, put my 225 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:14,800 Speaker 2: friends through college, put me through college because of scholarships. 226 00:12:15,679 --> 00:12:18,720 Speaker 2: You know, I had a lot of amazing stories of 227 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:22,000 Speaker 2: mine come from being a part of this. And of course, 228 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:24,640 Speaker 2: over that you know, period of time, I developed quite 229 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:26,760 Speaker 2: a collection of just Pokemon arts. Never mind all the 230 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:30,160 Speaker 2: other fun games, but just Pokemon cards, you know, for 231 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:35,120 Speaker 2: well over a decade. So I mentioned, you know, going 232 00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:37,200 Speaker 2: through therapy. You all with different problems in life. And 233 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:40,760 Speaker 2: in the last ten years, almost eleven, now, I was 234 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:45,080 Speaker 2: in a very i'll just say, very unhealthy relationship and 235 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:49,839 Speaker 2: I'm now seeking divorce from the person. But you are married, 236 00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:53,520 Speaker 2: and yeah, we were married, and it was not a 237 00:12:53,559 --> 00:12:56,400 Speaker 2: good choice I would say to do that, but I 238 00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:59,440 Speaker 2: did make that choice. Now I'm trying to help myself 239 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:03,319 Speaker 2: by making that. I suppose, and I can tell you 240 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:07,080 Speaker 2: details if you're interested, but that the relationship was really 241 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,240 Speaker 2: what caused me to push away my friends, my family, 242 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:12,040 Speaker 2: and a lot of other things just just in general. 243 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:18,199 Speaker 2: So the reason I'm mentioning that is when I was 244 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:21,200 Speaker 2: leaving that relationship and kind of trying to reach out 245 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:24,760 Speaker 2: to family and friends. I reached out to my mother first, 246 00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:29,920 Speaker 2: and I was in Yankton, South Dakota, of all places, 247 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:34,320 Speaker 2: and I met some friends there who played Pokemon really 248 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:36,080 Speaker 2: all kinds of games, and I was really excited to 249 00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:38,760 Speaker 2: take my collection, and so, oh my gosh, it's been years. 250 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:41,480 Speaker 2: I'm so excited to have this. I can't wait. Hey, Mom, 251 00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:43,560 Speaker 2: you know, can I can? I can? I can? I 252 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:46,400 Speaker 2: come back home get my stuff and come back and 253 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:48,600 Speaker 2: kind of heal and do this stuff with my friends 254 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:52,000 Speaker 2: and a bit of silence, And through a very long 255 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:55,600 Speaker 2: conversation I found out that two years prior to me 256 00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:59,120 Speaker 2: calling her, she had sold the entire collection for a 257 00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:02,480 Speaker 2: very princely some of one hundred thousand dollars, which is 258 00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:07,120 Speaker 2: actually a very undervalued amount what the collection was. What 259 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:11,760 Speaker 2: fu Yeah, it kind of broke me. 260 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:17,280 Speaker 1: And that break that fucking breaks me. Man, goddamn, oh 261 00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:21,000 Speaker 1: my god, that's that breaks my fucking heart. 262 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:23,040 Speaker 3: So I. 263 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:29,560 Speaker 2: I it really sucks because I understand, or I was 264 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,880 Speaker 2: made to understand, and I think part of the niceness 265 00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:35,200 Speaker 2: is where the problem comes. But that apparently they needed 266 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:39,480 Speaker 2: the money of some kind, and I understand that but 267 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:42,040 Speaker 2: that amount of money. And this is not to brag. 268 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,480 Speaker 2: I'm not trying to put myself in another position. I'm 269 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:47,440 Speaker 2: just saying that I could have helped them pay whatever 270 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:49,400 Speaker 2: they needed for and they never contacted me. And the 271 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:51,640 Speaker 2: reason they said is because, oh, well, you know, you 272 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:53,320 Speaker 2: stop talking to us, and we didn't know if you 273 00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:58,080 Speaker 2: liked it anymore. And I kind of gave them about 274 00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:01,440 Speaker 2: a year to talk can kind of be around him, 275 00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:03,040 Speaker 2: And I realized in the last few months that I 276 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:08,160 Speaker 2: really couldn't reconcile this. I really couldn't, you know. Uh, 277 00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:11,120 Speaker 2: it was it was. It was almost one of those 278 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:13,280 Speaker 2: things that you know, strawbook broke the camel's back of 279 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:16,040 Speaker 2: talking with them, because you know, in the last few years, 280 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:19,120 Speaker 2: I've also seen the people they've become. They are not 281 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:22,360 Speaker 2: very you know, They've always treated me with an amazing 282 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:25,200 Speaker 2: amount of love and care and respect my entire childhood, 283 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,160 Speaker 2: but as I grew in into an adult, I saw 284 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:29,920 Speaker 2: their beliefs and habits change like a lot of people's have, 285 00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:34,040 Speaker 2: which is very unfortunate. And them having done that to me, 286 00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:38,560 Speaker 2: I realized was probably the biggest portrayal of my trust 287 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:43,520 Speaker 2: and confidence and care of publicative ever experienced, and I 288 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:45,960 Speaker 2: have almost no desire to ever talk to them again. 289 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:49,000 Speaker 2: And it really hurts because the same person that you 290 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,760 Speaker 2: know you sent a minute or two ago, was smart 291 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:53,880 Speaker 2: and you know, willing to chat and be friendly, is 292 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,520 Speaker 2: also struggling with not talking to his parents because of 293 00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:59,480 Speaker 2: you know what other people call a collection of cardboard, 294 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:04,200 Speaker 2: you know, and so you know, I it's it's difficult 295 00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:06,320 Speaker 2: because I don't know what I want to do, how 296 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:07,800 Speaker 2: I'm trying to do, what or why I'm doing what 297 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:09,360 Speaker 2: I'm doing. I just know I don't feel good and 298 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:11,520 Speaker 2: I'm trying to defend myself for the first time. But 299 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:14,040 Speaker 2: really I saw him I wanted to kind of talk 300 00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:16,240 Speaker 2: about with Hey, listen, this thing happened to me. I 301 00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,080 Speaker 2: don't exactly know what to feel. These are the choices 302 00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:20,080 Speaker 2: I'm making and what does that sound like to you? 303 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:24,160 Speaker 2: And from your first response it sounded like, yeah, kind 304 00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:26,920 Speaker 2: of a big deal. But please, now that I've said 305 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:29,880 Speaker 2: everything and you can feel free to share wherever you 306 00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:30,360 Speaker 2: got there. 307 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:34,080 Speaker 1: Well, a few things. One is you said, I you 308 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:38,080 Speaker 1: it really caught my ear when you said this guy 309 00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:42,120 Speaker 1: who is uh uh? You said, I said, oh, this 310 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:43,320 Speaker 1: guy who is uh? 311 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:44,840 Speaker 2: Fuck? 312 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:47,720 Speaker 1: What did you say I'm polite and willing to talk 313 00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:49,320 Speaker 1: to people. He said, Oh, this guy is polite and 314 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:51,240 Speaker 1: willing to talk to people, won't talk to his own parents. 315 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:56,520 Speaker 1: First of all, human beings are immensely dynamic, so you 316 00:16:56,560 --> 00:17:00,360 Speaker 1: can be multiple, you can be multiple contradicting things once 317 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:06,040 Speaker 1: and at different times and in different contexts, and you 318 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:11,560 Speaker 1: know they're all true. So when I believe that, but two, 319 00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:15,119 Speaker 1: I mean, damn man, I'm sorry to hear that. I 320 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:18,480 Speaker 1: know you know, just well, it's more than just cardboard, right, 321 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:21,560 Speaker 1: It's like, hey, I mean your parents taking your shit 322 00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:24,920 Speaker 1: and then selling it. By the way, what kind of 323 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:26,960 Speaker 1: Pokemon cars did you have that were worth one hundred 324 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:29,080 Speaker 1: thousand dollars? 325 00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:33,000 Speaker 2: Everything from the very first base sets and miss prints. 326 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,680 Speaker 2: If you're a collector, you know, things like Shadowish chars arts. 327 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,879 Speaker 2: I add a first edition one of those that's already 328 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:41,439 Speaker 2: three thousand there, everything from the base set all the 329 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:46,040 Speaker 2: way up to probably a few years past, the you know, 330 00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:47,800 Speaker 2: groupy Sapphire series. 331 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:50,880 Speaker 1: No, I think I think that's so fucked. I think 332 00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:54,640 Speaker 1: that's fucked man, your parents, I do. I think that's fucked. Well, 333 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:59,639 Speaker 1: I can't. I can't tell you whether or not. You know, 334 00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:01,960 Speaker 1: I'm I can't ponder for you whether or not you 335 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:04,359 Speaker 1: should have a relationship with your parents, but like I 336 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,840 Speaker 1: do think that is fucked that they sold your Pokemon 337 00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:11,119 Speaker 1: cards for that much money. I mean, even if it 338 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:13,720 Speaker 1: would be I would be if they threw them away, 339 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:16,640 Speaker 1: you know what it's here the thing, right, if they 340 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:20,200 Speaker 1: threw them away out of just ignorance, because they were 341 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:22,760 Speaker 1: just you know, they're old, and they're like, uh, oh, 342 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:25,640 Speaker 1: these are his old toys. He doesn't need these anymore. 343 00:18:26,359 --> 00:18:28,560 Speaker 1: Right if it was like if it was like that, 344 00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:30,639 Speaker 1: that would still piss me off on your behalf. If 345 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:32,200 Speaker 1: it was like that, that would still piss me off 346 00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:34,720 Speaker 1: on your behalf. But at least you could chalk that 347 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:38,639 Speaker 1: up to like ignorance, you know what I mean, Like 348 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:41,199 Speaker 1: this was like to take them and sell them for 349 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:44,760 Speaker 1: one hundred grand behind your back. That's fucked. That's like, 350 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:49,320 Speaker 1: that's like willful fucked up nicks. You know it. 351 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,280 Speaker 2: It hurts. And the part that hurts the most is, 352 00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:54,760 Speaker 2: like you mentioned that, you know, when I was young 353 00:18:55,359 --> 00:18:58,600 Speaker 2: and even to late late young adulthood, I guess you know, 354 00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:01,480 Speaker 2: my mother was what I consider to be one of 355 00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:05,719 Speaker 2: my closest personal friends. I guess my father is a bit, 356 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:07,760 Speaker 2: you know, a bit of a bit of a more strange person, 357 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:10,240 Speaker 2: but you know, still loved him very dearly, and so 358 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:12,600 Speaker 2: you know, I recognize, you know, when I had that 359 00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:14,760 Speaker 2: conversation that she was sad and she said, well, I 360 00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:18,840 Speaker 2: didn't really mean to. But the problem is, like the 361 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,840 Speaker 2: relationship I have with them is that is that the 362 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:24,840 Speaker 2: reason I feel this way is that this is something 363 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:29,320 Speaker 2: that they chose to do because they knew that I 364 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:31,359 Speaker 2: was the person that would just turn the other cheek 365 00:19:31,359 --> 00:19:35,080 Speaker 2: and accept their choice. And I know that myself, and 366 00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:38,040 Speaker 2: I know that that's already in my head, and I 367 00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:41,000 Speaker 2: know that that that they'd go, okay, well, if we 368 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,439 Speaker 2: do this, all we have to do is say sorry 369 00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:47,320 Speaker 2: basically and be sad, and he would accept that. And 370 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,920 Speaker 2: I know that they don't want to feel that either, 371 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:52,720 Speaker 2: but I know that that's the dynamic, and I don't 372 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:54,600 Speaker 2: want that in my life anymore. And it makes me 373 00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:57,320 Speaker 2: very sad. It makes me sadder than I've ever made 374 00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:01,320 Speaker 2: because I'm turning into a place well, I recognize that 375 00:20:01,359 --> 00:20:04,920 Speaker 2: I'm trying to change as the personally stronger, better, more connected, 376 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,120 Speaker 2: and I'm aware of these choices they've made. But as 377 00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:09,239 Speaker 2: I've tried to talk to them about this, you know, 378 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:11,760 Speaker 2: as I tried to bring it up, it was annoying 379 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,639 Speaker 2: that the resistance, and in fact, the last time I 380 00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:16,160 Speaker 2: talked with my mother it was almost a three hour 381 00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:20,919 Speaker 2: screen match where and again there's very little extra context 382 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:24,800 Speaker 2: to this, but because of she she I wasn't calling 383 00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:29,000 Speaker 2: her enough, she contacted my partner and said that if 384 00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:33,440 Speaker 2: I didn't contact her soon, she would call the police 385 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:35,840 Speaker 2: for a wellness check. And I had just called here 386 00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:38,320 Speaker 2: and texted her like two days ago and constantly do 387 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:43,560 Speaker 2: but this that, that over helicoptering or something, and it 388 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:48,560 Speaker 2: just it snapped. And when when when I snapped? And 389 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:50,800 Speaker 2: we got in an argument, which is unfortunately very common. 390 00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,919 Speaker 2: When we're like that, all the truth comes out, so 391 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,879 Speaker 2: to speak, or at least the raw stuff, and she 392 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,600 Speaker 2: said something that made me realize that, no, that's actually 393 00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:00,680 Speaker 2: how she felt. I said, you know, you know mod 394 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,040 Speaker 2: this this thing you did, you know, you have to 395 00:21:03,119 --> 00:21:05,080 Speaker 2: understand it was a major portrayal. And one of the 396 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:06,920 Speaker 2: reasons I have difficult talking to you is because I 397 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:09,480 Speaker 2: don't know how to express this to you. And she goes, oh, 398 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:13,480 Speaker 2: Jesus says that stupid collection again, and I realized that. Okay, 399 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:15,760 Speaker 2: I understand you said it in anger. I understand you 400 00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:18,639 Speaker 2: said it meanly or you said it to kind of 401 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:23,200 Speaker 2: express your whatever, But that meant that, really, deep down 402 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,400 Speaker 2: you did think it was some stupid collection. It meant 403 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:28,200 Speaker 2: that you had chosen the value or maybe it become devalued. 404 00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:31,480 Speaker 2: And I don't. I don't, and and I recognized it. 405 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:34,200 Speaker 2: Then I recognize it now and it just hurts and 406 00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:38,680 Speaker 2: it it It both feels good to hear someone else going, yeah, 407 00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:42,119 Speaker 2: that's ridiculous, and also like, yeah, well you know why, 408 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:45,040 Speaker 2: and that's kind of with it. It's just, you know, 409 00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:47,480 Speaker 2: I'm sitting here, supposed to go back to work in 410 00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:49,800 Speaker 2: a few minutes, and I just want to know, you know, 411 00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:52,359 Speaker 2: I don't know. I just wanted to share that and 412 00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:55,520 Speaker 2: ask questions and kind of get a response because, you know, 413 00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:59,479 Speaker 2: like I said, I totally recognize it's a collection of cards, 414 00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:02,280 Speaker 2: but to me, it was an identity. It was a 415 00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:04,919 Speaker 2: person that I grew through. It was something that I 416 00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:08,520 Speaker 2: could go to. Hell. I remember being crying in California 417 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:11,040 Speaker 2: on the floor, thinking, you know, I'm in this terrible 418 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:14,000 Speaker 2: relationship but I could think about this cool past that 419 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,560 Speaker 2: I have and someday I'll get back home and I 420 00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:18,320 Speaker 2: look at those cards again and they were gone. You know, 421 00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:21,840 Speaker 2: I didn't even know about it. And so anyway, I'm 422 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:22,840 Speaker 2: talking quickly. 423 00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:25,200 Speaker 1: And I'm no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no no, no, no, no, 424 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:28,080 Speaker 1: no no at all. What's your name again? What's your 425 00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:28,800 Speaker 1: name again? Man? 426 00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:30,399 Speaker 2: Ivan? 427 00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:31,439 Speaker 1: Ivan? 428 00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:34,480 Speaker 2: Yeah? Mmm? 429 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:40,280 Speaker 1: Do you just you fucking you just you just spit, bro, 430 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:43,440 Speaker 1: you just I mean that was you really just spit 431 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:44,360 Speaker 1: right just now? 432 00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:44,879 Speaker 2: That was? 433 00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:48,919 Speaker 1: That was? That was powerful. I'm I'm being that serious 434 00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,240 Speaker 1: because when you the way you said that, you were 435 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:55,240 Speaker 1: like fuck sheet like that that that really it breaks 436 00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:58,280 Speaker 1: my heart man, Like when you were like, oh, she 437 00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:01,800 Speaker 1: knew that she could she could sell those cars because 438 00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:05,679 Speaker 1: she knew that I wouldn't put up a fight about it. 439 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:10,720 Speaker 2: Quite really hurt when I've realized it hurt. So yeah, 440 00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:14,320 Speaker 2: I'm you know, I don't know that. That's just my 441 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:15,920 Speaker 2: story in that now, I guess. 442 00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:20,280 Speaker 1: I then, oh, man, I know you got to go 443 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:23,440 Speaker 1: back to work soon. But what what else? What else 444 00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:26,800 Speaker 1: is going on in your in your life? I'm invested 445 00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:31,320 Speaker 1: in your art, I'm invested in your development. I'm I'm like, 446 00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:36,800 Speaker 1: I'm like, what's because you're yeah, man, well yeah, what's 447 00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:38,720 Speaker 1: going on? What else is going on in your in 448 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:40,040 Speaker 1: your universe here? 449 00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:46,840 Speaker 2: All right? Well I mentioned the divorce that's also been 450 00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:52,480 Speaker 2: weighing very heavily because uh got it. It's mentioned in ARC. 451 00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:54,080 Speaker 2: And all of a sudden, I thought back, like, it's 452 00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:56,679 Speaker 2: been this three years. What feels like is just un 453 00:23:56,800 --> 00:24:01,760 Speaker 2: ending BS. So okay, super long story as short as 454 00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:04,639 Speaker 2: they can make it. Three years ago the partner that 455 00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:07,479 Speaker 2: I'm divorcing from now and I decided to leave who 456 00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:09,480 Speaker 2: we were living in California and live on the road 457 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:12,600 Speaker 2: and a trailer thirty five up the trailer pickup truck, 458 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,080 Speaker 2: you know, driving around state state, living in the trailer 459 00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:20,040 Speaker 2: full time. I'm a software developer. Yeah we'll get there, 460 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:26,520 Speaker 2: but living so software developer and I could work remotely 461 00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:31,040 Speaker 2: and do my thing. But when when you already have 462 00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:33,679 Speaker 2: problems in a relationship and then you put them in 463 00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:36,360 Speaker 2: a smaller box and you see that person even more 464 00:24:36,359 --> 00:24:39,920 Speaker 2: often with even less ability to have personal space or 465 00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:42,640 Speaker 2: work on problems, and the person you're with is already 466 00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:50,840 Speaker 2: sort of spiraling, it makes things worse. And I realized 467 00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:56,119 Speaker 2: in those almost two years that things weren't working. Constantly screaming, fighting, yelling, 468 00:24:57,080 --> 00:25:00,040 Speaker 2: all sorts of terrible stuff. And I snapped multiple times 469 00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:02,760 Speaker 2: mentally in terms of, you know, just screaming in a 470 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:07,200 Speaker 2: Walmart parking lot, yelling at nothing because as my only outlet. 471 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:11,639 Speaker 2: So that'll happen over the course of two years. And 472 00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:14,919 Speaker 2: I found myself in Yankton, South Dakota because of some 473 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:18,840 Speaker 2: other nonsense not even worth just just just not more nonsense, 474 00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:23,040 Speaker 2: South Dakota with my partner at the time, and filed 475 00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:26,800 Speaker 2: for divorce because she was I was paying for her 476 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:28,639 Speaker 2: to live in a hotel for months at that point, 477 00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:31,640 Speaker 2: I was also staying in a hotel. We swapped off 478 00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:33,359 Speaker 2: back and forth in the list. This is not a 479 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:36,200 Speaker 2: relationship that I can I want to be a partner 480 00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:39,760 Speaker 2: of her try to fix anymore. So filed for divorce 481 00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:44,680 Speaker 2: and that was two years ago, and through three separate lawyers, 482 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,480 Speaker 2: two of which had completely failed to life, remain in 483 00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:52,160 Speaker 2: contact with me, and just disordered to go. I didn't 484 00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:53,720 Speaker 2: know it was a thing, but you could totally be 485 00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:55,879 Speaker 2: ghosted by a lawyer and there's not much you can 486 00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:58,960 Speaker 2: do about it. If the lawyer just start stops, decided 487 00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,440 Speaker 2: to talk to you your own choices to get another 488 00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:06,360 Speaker 2: lawyer turns out, and so you know, I'm constantly fighting this. 489 00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:08,880 Speaker 2: You know, this this partner of mine who I fught 490 00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,720 Speaker 2: to mention this. But when I was still in South 491 00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:14,720 Speaker 2: Dakota and she was living in the hotel for a 492 00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:17,439 Speaker 2: while when I served with when she was served with 493 00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:19,679 Speaker 2: the papers a few days later, I found out she 494 00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:23,280 Speaker 2: called a friend of hers from California, who then flew 495 00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:27,800 Speaker 2: to Yankton. She showed up at the trailer's door that Saturday, 496 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:30,959 Speaker 2: collected all their things, and decided to drive with this person, 497 00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:34,280 Speaker 2: drive with the truck that pulled the trailer to California, 498 00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:39,159 Speaker 2: effectively stranding me, stranding me in the state. And I 499 00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:41,959 Speaker 2: had you know, that's a whole nother story. But so 500 00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:44,040 Speaker 2: this is the kind of person, you know who makes 501 00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:47,560 Speaker 2: these sort of decisions. But the reason that card story 502 00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:50,440 Speaker 2: came up is because when I was dealing with being 503 00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:53,119 Speaker 2: stranded there and trying to go to therapy and trying 504 00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:56,359 Speaker 2: to find some something to stick to, I found a 505 00:26:56,359 --> 00:26:59,359 Speaker 2: friendly local game store. And in the family local game store, 506 00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:02,240 Speaker 2: you know, just owned by a few friends and parents 507 00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:05,439 Speaker 2: of that I met them at the time, but just 508 00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:10,720 Speaker 2: incredibly welcoming, incredibly caring people. You know, and you mentioned 509 00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:13,560 Speaker 2: how how rare it is to find someone to connect with. 510 00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:16,000 Speaker 2: It is amazing you said that, because it's exactly what 511 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:19,159 Speaker 2: I found. I found a friend who I'll keep his 512 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:20,400 Speaker 2: name because I don't want to, you know, I don't 513 00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:22,399 Speaker 2: want to assume these He's okay with being talked about. 514 00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:25,000 Speaker 2: But I've already mentioned the city and states of oops. 515 00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:28,640 Speaker 2: But the idea is I very much connected with these people, 516 00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:31,760 Speaker 2: and one person in particular was an incredible, incredible boon 517 00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:36,680 Speaker 2: to my life. And uh, it was because of that 518 00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:38,480 Speaker 2: that I called my parents and said about the thing, 519 00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:41,520 Speaker 2: realized the cards, and you know, I was doing okay 520 00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:43,280 Speaker 2: because I had them in my life. But since then, 521 00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:45,320 Speaker 2: I've moved on from the state to another states because 522 00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:48,479 Speaker 2: I couldn't, you know, being in the same trailer at 523 00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:50,160 Speaker 2: the same spot for a year and a half after 524 00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:53,000 Speaker 2: seeking divorce was like, I can't stay here anymore. So 525 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:55,080 Speaker 2: I moved now in Minnesota for a little while. 526 00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:59,000 Speaker 3: But I mean, that's that's. 527 00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:00,720 Speaker 2: Like as short as I can make the last few 528 00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:03,640 Speaker 2: years and a bunch of weird stuff, but it's it's 529 00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:06,280 Speaker 2: why I'm calling anybody who will listen. Is because you know, 530 00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:09,080 Speaker 2: I have all these weird things. It's very hard to 531 00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:11,600 Speaker 2: find someone who has a similar lifestyle that could relate, 532 00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:16,040 Speaker 2: or who even wants to listen. And you know, it's 533 00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:19,280 Speaker 2: so strange. Sometimes it sounds completely unreal. It does to me, 534 00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:23,480 Speaker 2: and I I don't know. I'm I'm the kind of 535 00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:25,760 Speaker 2: person that needs data points to kind of figure out 536 00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:28,800 Speaker 2: who and what I'm doing and why. So that's that's 537 00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:31,360 Speaker 2: kind of where I am now. I'm in Minnesota asking 538 00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:36,040 Speaker 2: a gecko how the heck I be a human? So that. 539 00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:44,360 Speaker 1: Okay, sorry, if I just want to make sure I'm 540 00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:48,640 Speaker 1: understanding the current. Do you do not still live in 541 00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:50,560 Speaker 1: a trailer? No? 542 00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:54,880 Speaker 2: No, I I moved out of the trailer and I'm 543 00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:57,840 Speaker 2: actually currently living with someone else now, which is also 544 00:28:57,960 --> 00:28:58,880 Speaker 2: part of the difficulty. 545 00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:04,320 Speaker 1: Person a romantic someone else. 546 00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:08,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's romantic. And just to be completely transparent and open, 547 00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:11,520 Speaker 2: you know, I met this person many many months after 548 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:16,040 Speaker 2: I filed her divorce. After the person after my partner 549 00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:18,719 Speaker 2: has gone to California never to be seen or heard 550 00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:19,160 Speaker 2: from again. 551 00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:22,320 Speaker 1: Basically, and how are things going with this person? 552 00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:28,840 Speaker 2: Pretty well? I find that my relationship scars continue to 553 00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:34,280 Speaker 2: come up it once in a while, and uh, and 554 00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:36,600 Speaker 2: you know in terms of like expecting fights when I 555 00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:40,560 Speaker 2: don't need to having habits that I shouldn't have because 556 00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:44,600 Speaker 2: I'm dealing with someone who was abusive. But you know, 557 00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:48,720 Speaker 2: together we're we're we're doing okay. And I think, you know, 558 00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:51,640 Speaker 2: they also are very understanding. I've also told them the 559 00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:54,920 Speaker 2: whole story and they completely understand it. You know, oftentimes 560 00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:57,160 Speaker 2: they were much in my corner two with you know, 561 00:29:57,200 --> 00:29:59,120 Speaker 2: what's going on, and I try to make sure that 562 00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:02,200 Speaker 2: they're aware of what's happen. And it's also helped me understand, 563 00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:04,480 Speaker 2: you know, it's what I'm going to normal or at 564 00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:08,080 Speaker 2: least do you do you see my behavior as at 565 00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:10,240 Speaker 2: least reasonable host what I'm going through. Most of the time, 566 00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:12,160 Speaker 2: I just get a long stare. I'm like, yeah, you're 567 00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:15,800 Speaker 2: doing okay. But you know, the constant questioning is a thing. 568 00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:19,800 Speaker 2: So yeah, m hm hm hm. 569 00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:27,480 Speaker 1: Hmmm. You're asking Gecko how to be a human? What 570 00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:32,120 Speaker 1: is that? What is? What does what does that mean? 571 00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:34,600 Speaker 1: To you? Like I'm trying like if and I don't 572 00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:36,200 Speaker 1: know how much of what you I don't know how 573 00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:38,360 Speaker 1: much of that is is is tongue in cheek, But 574 00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:42,600 Speaker 1: what is what is that journey of I am trying 575 00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:45,040 Speaker 1: to be a human? What is that? What does that mean? 576 00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:52,720 Speaker 2: I am very much convinced the only thing that I 577 00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:57,320 Speaker 2: don't have the ability to ever know while alive is 578 00:30:57,360 --> 00:30:59,680 Speaker 2: what it means to be alive. Like, I don't know 579 00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:01,960 Speaker 2: WHATSS is. I have no idea what it is, how 580 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,880 Speaker 2: it defines me. I just know I'm here and I'm 581 00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:05,640 Speaker 2: experiencing it. 582 00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:09,120 Speaker 3: Yes, so yes, I've been told. 583 00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:11,400 Speaker 2: And I've read and I've lived as much as I have, 584 00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:14,120 Speaker 2: and basically everyone says, well, everyone's got their own place 585 00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:16,680 Speaker 2: in the universe. So you know, maybe if I can 586 00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:20,160 Speaker 2: constrain down what I need to worry about to just 587 00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:23,640 Speaker 2: like the human stuff, maybe that'll make me okay on 588 00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:25,600 Speaker 2: the long run. Like if I don't have to hear 589 00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:28,160 Speaker 2: about the metaphysical stuff and the space travel and all 590 00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,600 Speaker 2: the other things I like, I just worry about the 591 00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:33,000 Speaker 2: eating and the breathing and the other life stuff, maybe 592 00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:37,680 Speaker 2: I'll have an easier time. And you know, I'm an experimenter, 593 00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:39,840 Speaker 2: so I like reaching out to whatever and anything I've 594 00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:43,920 Speaker 2: can find, and that includes I guess interspecies communication. 595 00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:48,959 Speaker 1: It is funny. We're actually engaging in a form of 596 00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:50,760 Speaker 1: interspecies communication right now. 597 00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:54,000 Speaker 2: That's true, true. 598 00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:58,080 Speaker 1: So I actually I get you on a lot of 599 00:31:58,080 --> 00:32:02,320 Speaker 1: what you just said. Of yet you can literally this 600 00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:05,520 Speaker 1: has literally just been my my arc for the year 601 00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:10,600 Speaker 1: is that you can absolutely lose your you can endlessly 602 00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:16,880 Speaker 1: lose yourself in pondering over the metaphysical and pondering over 603 00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:24,840 Speaker 1: consciousness and those things and people, many people throughout the 604 00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:33,480 Speaker 1: history of existence have get this. Spent their entire lives. 605 00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:38,560 Speaker 1: They didn't have personal lives, they didn't have Many people 606 00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:42,600 Speaker 1: have spent and to this day, spend their entire lives 607 00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:49,560 Speaker 1: prodding at those questions professionally and writing about them and 608 00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:53,200 Speaker 1: exploring them and reading about They spend their whole lives. 609 00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:58,440 Speaker 1: And you know what, they never come out with an answer. 610 00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:00,960 Speaker 1: They never there's the ever come out with an answer. 611 00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:03,200 Speaker 1: I don't know if they ever will. I don't know, 612 00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:07,280 Speaker 1: if I don't know, if you know, humans came up 613 00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:09,400 Speaker 1: with a lot of answers. We came up with, like 614 00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:12,640 Speaker 1: you know, we we get to tell the story of evolution. 615 00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:17,320 Speaker 1: We get to tell a lot of stories. There's a 616 00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:20,000 Speaker 1: lot of things that we don't have answers to like 617 00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:22,800 Speaker 1: like what you're saying, like the metaphysical, the consciousness stuff, 618 00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:27,680 Speaker 1: that stuff is gonna be answered by beings more conscious 619 00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:30,840 Speaker 1: than us than we that we can't understand. Maybe it's 620 00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:34,920 Speaker 1: the fucking AI supercomputer ship that is gonna answer. Maybe 621 00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:37,000 Speaker 1: it's that and we but it's not. It's not gonna 622 00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:39,720 Speaker 1: be us. We've determined it's not a and but we 623 00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:41,960 Speaker 1: got to answer a lot of questions. We got to 624 00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:45,320 Speaker 1: do a lot, we got to answer. We got to 625 00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:49,760 Speaker 1: we like like, I was watching some fucking YouTube video 626 00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:54,320 Speaker 1: about evolution and this guy's like, this guy's like really 627 00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:56,840 Speaker 1: understanding his place in the universe as a human, and 628 00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:59,600 Speaker 1: he's like, whoa, it's so cool all this shit happened, 629 00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:03,480 Speaker 1: and we are the species that gets to tell they 630 00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:07,000 Speaker 1: to tell the story and and all the metaphysical stuff. 631 00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:11,799 Speaker 1: I genuinely just think we're not you know, our species 632 00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:15,200 Speaker 1: and whatever our consciousness is. I don't think we're gonna 633 00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:18,440 Speaker 1: be the ones to answer those questions. It's probably gonna 634 00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:23,040 Speaker 1: be like, uh, you know, whatever, the whatever chat GPT 635 00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:26,160 Speaker 1: looks like in a thousand years is gonna have answers 636 00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:30,600 Speaker 1: to those questions, but not not us. So so listen. 637 00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:34,239 Speaker 1: If it's so fascinating to you and so cool to 638 00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:38,359 Speaker 1: you and pulls you in its direction to think about 639 00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:42,239 Speaker 1: these things, and you feel honored as a human and 640 00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:45,200 Speaker 1: as a conscious being to be pulled in those directions, 641 00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:47,719 Speaker 1: and you're being pulled in those directions from places of 642 00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:51,239 Speaker 1: love and from positive emotions, then it's a great it's 643 00:34:51,239 --> 00:34:53,680 Speaker 1: a great place to be pulled. But if you're being 644 00:34:53,680 --> 00:35:00,239 Speaker 1: pulled to them by OCD and fear and uh, oh god, 645 00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:01,880 Speaker 1: I need to have an answer to these things or 646 00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:04,799 Speaker 1: else I'm not gonna be okay. You're you're, you're running 647 00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:08,680 Speaker 1: a fool's Errand because there's no you, you, you must 648 00:35:08,719 --> 00:35:13,120 Speaker 1: accept that your your, your consciousness in its current form 649 00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:17,240 Speaker 1: and its current biological state, ain't getting there. Many people 650 00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:20,239 Speaker 1: tried forever and they never got there, and they never 651 00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:23,440 Speaker 1: will get there because it's impossible. It's beyond us. And 652 00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:25,879 Speaker 1: so again, if you're being pulled in those directions from 653 00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:29,560 Speaker 1: a positive place, from a place of love, it's great, 654 00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:31,600 Speaker 1: it's an honor. But if you're being pulled at them 655 00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:35,160 Speaker 1: from a place of fear and anxiety, it's like you're you're, 656 00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:39,840 Speaker 1: you're chasing a fucking dragon. You know you're never gonna 657 00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:45,279 Speaker 1: get there, so so accept that and then be like, 658 00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:51,680 Speaker 1: uh uh, I'm gonna explore these things from positive place 659 00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:54,840 Speaker 1: and then focus on the human side of your life, 660 00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:59,160 Speaker 1: which is connecting with other people and eating food and 661 00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:03,040 Speaker 1: and and drink water and playing fucking Pokemon. 662 00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:10,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll tell you. I I I'm unfortunately have to 663 00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:12,880 Speaker 2: go now. But I rarely want to say that. That 664 00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:17,000 Speaker 2: perspective you said about it's so I guess respectively, it's 665 00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:20,000 Speaker 2: it's okay that you know I'm not going to figure 666 00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:24,560 Speaker 2: out the hard stuff is a perspective I wasn't ready 667 00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:26,360 Speaker 2: to hear, and I'm happy to hear it, which it 668 00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:31,759 Speaker 2: wasn't great, I'm happy. So so listen. I let thank 669 00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:34,279 Speaker 2: you very much to you and group to letting me 670 00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:38,680 Speaker 2: just go on for a while. I feel mentally better 671 00:36:38,719 --> 00:36:42,120 Speaker 2: for having chatted with anybody about it, and again, just 672 00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:44,160 Speaker 2: thank you for your time. And I hope you and 673 00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:47,719 Speaker 2: the viewers and anyone else listening have have a wonderful 674 00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:48,960 Speaker 2: everything else they have. 675 00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:52,080 Speaker 1: So thanks, thank thank you very much. Having good luck 676 00:36:52,080 --> 00:37:00,480 Speaker 1: to you man. Cheers, Okay, take care, take care Ivan. Damn. 677 00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:06,440 Speaker 1: I like that guy a lot that I was cool. Yeah, 678 00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:12,239 Speaker 1: like I was cool. I I I hope, I don't know, 679 00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:15,040 Speaker 1: I hope, I hope. I hope he is he lands 680 00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:20,920 Speaker 1: in good directions, uh for himself and figures figures some 681 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:23,840 Speaker 1: of this ship out. Yeah, I know I clicked on. 682 00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:26,640 Speaker 1: I clicked on what he was talking about with like 683 00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:32,080 Speaker 1: the obsession over the metaphysical ship because whatever, everyone, I 684 00:37:32,120 --> 00:37:35,440 Speaker 1: don't shut up about my existential crisis on this podcast, 685 00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:38,359 Speaker 1: but that's a lot of what it was about. And 686 00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:44,640 Speaker 1: I even expressing that, even like I even talking to him, 687 00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:47,680 Speaker 1: just now expressing that. I like, I like, like, in 688 00:37:47,719 --> 00:37:50,480 Speaker 1: this moment that I'm recording this ship, it's clicking to 689 00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:54,839 Speaker 1: me that that's the fucking that was that Like that, 690 00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:58,759 Speaker 1: that's the sauce, right there is. I was obsessed with 691 00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:03,080 Speaker 1: those things on a you know, a from a fear 692 00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:09,880 Speaker 1: based state, you know, looking trying to like calm anxiety 693 00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:16,880 Speaker 1: by finding by looking for something that doesn't exist. But 694 00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:26,480 Speaker 1: you can't do that because it doesn't exist. So yeah, uh, 695 00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:31,480 Speaker 1: what what else? Pokemon? Pokemon are good, They're cool. I 696 00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:34,920 Speaker 1: feel you know, I feel I feel bad for Ivan, 697 00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:39,239 Speaker 1: but I don't want to throw pity at him because 698 00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:41,840 Speaker 1: I think he's just smart, do I say, Adam, I 699 00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:43,719 Speaker 1: know his name is Ivan. Phil. I don't want to 700 00:38:43,719 --> 00:38:45,520 Speaker 1: throw pitt pity at Ivan because I know he's a 701 00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:51,520 Speaker 1: smart guy and I and I think he'll I think 702 00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:55,759 Speaker 1: he'll persevere in some way. It's hard. It's hard if 703 00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:58,480 Speaker 1: you're a smart guy like that to find other people 704 00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:03,600 Speaker 1: to connect with. But he's got a lady in his life, 705 00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:11,200 Speaker 1: I think from what he said, Yeah, I don't know. 706 00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:18,640 Speaker 1: That's a tough one. But I really enjoyed having that conversation. Hello, Hey, 707 00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:22,200 Speaker 1: what's up man? What's your name? Aiden? 708 00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:23,000 Speaker 2: Yeah? 709 00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:24,800 Speaker 3: This is the therapy gyek Oh. 710 00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:30,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, oh yeah, this is yeah, dude, we've never spoken before, 711 00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:32,239 Speaker 1: have we. No? 712 00:39:32,239 --> 00:39:33,920 Speaker 3: No, I've been a big fan of you for years. Man, 713 00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:34,960 Speaker 3: it lives for a while. 714 00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:38,239 Speaker 1: Oka. Guess that's so cool. You know what's funny is 715 00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:40,760 Speaker 1: I I gotta I gotta be so honest with you, Aiden, 716 00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:45,160 Speaker 1: I this is just an expression of my life arc is. 717 00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:48,719 Speaker 1: I think I only I think I only started to 718 00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:50,880 Speaker 1: be I only think I think I only started to 719 00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:57,560 Speaker 1: be able to enjoy this whole thing recently. I think 720 00:39:57,600 --> 00:40:01,080 Speaker 1: I was. I think for most of it, I was 721 00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:04,560 Speaker 1: so caught up in the stress of it that I 722 00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:07,759 Speaker 1: couldn't like really sit and enjoy it, and only and 723 00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:10,400 Speaker 1: recently I've I've been just like, oh, this is a 724 00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:13,879 Speaker 1: cool thing to exist in, you know, because when you're 725 00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:19,200 Speaker 1: like trying to i don't know, like build something up, 726 00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:21,880 Speaker 1: stressful and you're you're in the moment of it too 727 00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:25,319 Speaker 1: much and so you can and you can't really enjoy it. 728 00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:28,000 Speaker 1: But lately I'm enjoying it, Like in this, I'm like, oh, 729 00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:30,839 Speaker 1: this is so cool that to have, especially yeah, after 730 00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:36,560 Speaker 1: five years, to have someone listening for for that long. Anyway, 731 00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:39,440 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm I'm I'm really I'm really sucking myself 732 00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:42,920 Speaker 1: off right now. So I'm gonna I'm gonna no, I'm 733 00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:45,799 Speaker 1: sucking myself off. I'm sorry. I take back everything I said. 734 00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:49,480 Speaker 1: I I I yeah, I'm sucking myself off. What's up 735 00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:49,719 Speaker 1: with you? 736 00:40:49,760 --> 00:40:50,040 Speaker 2: Aiden? 737 00:40:50,160 --> 00:40:50,840 Speaker 1: How's life? 738 00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:52,759 Speaker 3: I'm pretty good? 739 00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:52,960 Speaker 2: Man. 740 00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:54,799 Speaker 3: Oh that is a bit weird right now. So I 741 00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:58,160 Speaker 3: just graduated last year and until he's like, I think, yeah, 742 00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:00,759 Speaker 3: last year. I'm kind of like in between trying to 743 00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:03,120 Speaker 3: figure out stuff in my life and stuff with jobs 744 00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:06,480 Speaker 3: and just personal life, trying to fit into everything that's new. 745 00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:07,239 Speaker 2: I guess. 746 00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:10,000 Speaker 1: What's new? 747 00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:14,799 Speaker 3: Well, I just started working with my dad. So I 748 00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:16,520 Speaker 3: used to work at Starbucks and I worked there for 749 00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:19,759 Speaker 3: a while. But then my dad he does like this 750 00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:21,920 Speaker 3: den repair thing, and so he needed help with the 751 00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:25,000 Speaker 3: business because my cousin originally worked with him, but he 752 00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:27,480 Speaker 3: went to a different state to start working somewhere else, 753 00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:30,640 Speaker 3: and so I'm now working with him, and so it's 754 00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:32,320 Speaker 3: a whole There were different schedules that used to be 755 00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:34,520 Speaker 3: only like night shift and stuff like that. So waking 756 00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:36,440 Speaker 3: up early in the morning, it's nothing I'm not used to. 757 00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:38,719 Speaker 3: But also just being on the heat a lot more. 758 00:41:38,760 --> 00:41:40,560 Speaker 3: And I live in a desert, so it's like a 759 00:41:40,680 --> 00:41:42,120 Speaker 3: hundred degrees especially in the summer. 760 00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:43,759 Speaker 2: This is real hot out here. 761 00:41:44,239 --> 00:41:45,520 Speaker 1: What are you in Arizona? 762 00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:48,960 Speaker 3: No, No, I'm a I'm in a Vegas. 763 00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:53,279 Speaker 1: Oh shit, okay, So what's your dad's business that you 764 00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:54,280 Speaker 1: work for him doing? 765 00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:58,120 Speaker 3: Oh well, so he does like painless den repair. He 766 00:41:58,160 --> 00:42:00,240 Speaker 3: works to like a couple of the rental companies out here. 767 00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:04,799 Speaker 1: And before that, you were at Starbucks. 768 00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:07,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, before that was we're going at Starbucks. My 769 00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:09,839 Speaker 3: buddy he got a job at Starves and he got 770 00:42:09,840 --> 00:42:10,920 Speaker 3: me the job there. 771 00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:11,839 Speaker 2: I mean, which is fun. 772 00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:14,560 Speaker 3: Probably the most social job I've had in a while. Now, 773 00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:15,799 Speaker 3: it's kind of more We're just trying to figure out 774 00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:17,520 Speaker 3: what to do with myself because I enjoy what I'm 775 00:42:17,560 --> 00:42:20,399 Speaker 3: doing working here, but outside of this, I'm not really 776 00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:22,560 Speaker 3: doing anything. I'm kind of still trying to figure out 777 00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:23,600 Speaker 3: what I want to do a long term. 778 00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:25,280 Speaker 2: I guess what. 779 00:42:27,239 --> 00:42:29,280 Speaker 1: I what have you been What have you been thinking 780 00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:33,440 Speaker 1: about in your thinking? What have you been leaning towards? 781 00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:35,440 Speaker 3: Man, There's a few things here and there I've been 782 00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:38,600 Speaker 3: thinking about. Like, I know, private investigation is sometimes been 783 00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:42,160 Speaker 3: interested into looking for, but I'm not one hundred percent sure. 784 00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:46,400 Speaker 1: You want to do you want to become a private investigator? 785 00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:49,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's always seem like a something I would probably 786 00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:52,920 Speaker 3: enjoy doing. I think I don't just seem cool. I 787 00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:55,080 Speaker 3: guess I don't know. I don't really have an exact 788 00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:55,680 Speaker 3: go online. 789 00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:58,960 Speaker 1: Why do I feel? I feel like Vegas is ripe 790 00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:03,799 Speaker 1: with like private and investigators that like that, like investigate 791 00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,960 Speaker 1: whether or not like guys are cheating on their wives 792 00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:08,240 Speaker 1: with strippers and ship. 793 00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:13,000 Speaker 3: Most likely honestly like people. The fact that people get 794 00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:14,680 Speaker 3: married out here is kind of crazy to you to 795 00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:15,160 Speaker 3: go with it. 796 00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:18,600 Speaker 1: Why don't you go why don't you apprentice, Why don't 797 00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:22,480 Speaker 1: you go find a private investigator? That would be sick man. Yeah, 798 00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:24,080 Speaker 1: that's what you should do. That would be so cool. Yeah, 799 00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:26,680 Speaker 1: you should go to find a private investigator in Vegas. 800 00:43:27,280 --> 00:43:29,879 Speaker 1: And uh, he's like, so you want to get into 801 00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:32,520 Speaker 1: the PI business? Do you think you're ready? And you 802 00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:34,279 Speaker 1: have to submit to him and he may he makes 803 00:43:34,280 --> 00:43:37,440 Speaker 1: you like go fetch him cigarettes and stuff like he 804 00:43:37,480 --> 00:43:42,239 Speaker 1: hazes you. Like that is actually legitimate suggestion, is you 805 00:43:42,239 --> 00:43:45,319 Speaker 1: could go be a pledge for some other some like 806 00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:47,120 Speaker 1: you ever seen Nathan for you? 807 00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:50,840 Speaker 3: Uh no, it doesn't ring a bell. 808 00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:52,399 Speaker 1: Like that, Brian wolf guy. 809 00:43:53,719 --> 00:43:56,759 Speaker 3: I think so maybe that could be cool. 810 00:43:59,239 --> 00:44:00,440 Speaker 1: What do you do? What do you know? What do 811 00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:03,680 Speaker 1: you usually do when you're not painting painting houses? I'm sorry, 812 00:44:03,719 --> 00:44:05,600 Speaker 1: did you say painting houses? Or am I making that up? 813 00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:09,960 Speaker 3: Well, you're actually kind of you're kind of close in 814 00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:11,719 Speaker 3: the nose. I do paint touch up. 815 00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:15,520 Speaker 1: On cars, Okay, okay, but yeah, I. 816 00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:17,080 Speaker 3: Just do looking to your recon and all that, which 817 00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:18,319 Speaker 3: is actually what I'm doing right now. 818 00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:22,400 Speaker 1: What else do you think you might want to do 819 00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:23,200 Speaker 1: with your life? Aiden? 820 00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:28,959 Speaker 3: Honestly, I really don't know. I'm still trying to think 821 00:44:29,040 --> 00:44:31,279 Speaker 3: of ideas and stuff like that, and it doesn't really 822 00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:33,080 Speaker 3: help because I got a little bit of pressure for 823 00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:35,919 Speaker 3: my family on it, maybe because stuff like I've thought 824 00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:39,160 Speaker 3: of in the past don't pay that well. And my 825 00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:41,080 Speaker 3: parents are very like, oh, if he isn't making more 826 00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:43,520 Speaker 3: than this and that, I don't want you doing it 827 00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:45,440 Speaker 3: and this and that, And they don't mind if I 828 00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:46,759 Speaker 3: go or do like They don't mind if I do 829 00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:49,520 Speaker 3: or don't do college or do a trade, just something 830 00:44:49,560 --> 00:44:52,759 Speaker 3: that's going to pay more than what I'm gonna be 831 00:44:53,160 --> 00:44:56,319 Speaker 3: more or what my dad's already making, you know, And 832 00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:58,319 Speaker 3: he makes a good amount of money, and so it's 833 00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:01,239 Speaker 3: kind of the pressure almost being like I don't know, 834 00:45:01,239 --> 00:45:03,320 Speaker 3: it's not the pressure just being like him, I guess, 835 00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:05,680 Speaker 3: but I don't mind. My dad's an amazing guy, and 836 00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:08,000 Speaker 3: I always strived to be like him as a person, 837 00:45:08,520 --> 00:45:10,120 Speaker 3: but what he does is a lot of hard work, 838 00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:11,600 Speaker 3: and I don't know if I'm cut out for it. 839 00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:13,560 Speaker 1: How old are you? 840 00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:17,000 Speaker 3: I'm about to turn nineteen, like next month. 841 00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:23,120 Speaker 1: All right, cool? Cool? Interesting? What were the things that 842 00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:24,920 Speaker 1: you were saying that you want to do that don't 843 00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:25,760 Speaker 1: make a lot of money. 844 00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:32,320 Speaker 3: For a while, I always wanted to bartend, but obviously, 845 00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:34,880 Speaker 3: you know, I'm not twenty one and close to that 846 00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:36,360 Speaker 3: for a little while if they ain't coming to the 847 00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:39,640 Speaker 3: option yet. But I know my parents my fans kind 848 00:45:39,640 --> 00:45:41,719 Speaker 3: of inhaled me by that idea, and maybe we're gonna 849 00:45:41,719 --> 00:45:43,279 Speaker 3: start just kind of scratch at inch of ba. So 850 00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:46,080 Speaker 3: I'm not really as wanting to you know already the 851 00:45:46,160 --> 00:45:48,040 Speaker 3: drink making all that, and I still don't mind trying 852 00:45:48,080 --> 00:45:49,879 Speaker 3: to do that, but I don't know, I just don't 853 00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:51,439 Speaker 3: have any big goal ideas yet. 854 00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:55,480 Speaker 1: I love, but you sound like you really enjoy like, uh, 855 00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:58,640 Speaker 1: front facing dream you like you some people, some people 856 00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:02,239 Speaker 1: their dream is to to work from home and never 857 00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:05,000 Speaker 1: see another human being ever again. But you sound like 858 00:46:05,120 --> 00:46:08,520 Speaker 1: the opposite, where you're like, I want to be in 859 00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:11,680 Speaker 1: like a front facing social job. 860 00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:16,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, that would be nice. I mean it's because like recently, 861 00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:19,080 Speaker 3: you know, just recent gaing out high school ast year, 862 00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:21,680 Speaker 3: I'm just like not as social or just realizing how 863 00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:24,640 Speaker 3: well me it actually is when you're not doing stuff 864 00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:26,440 Speaker 3: with other people. Like I've been trying to figure out 865 00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:30,000 Speaker 3: that out for myself too, because like out of work, 866 00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:32,359 Speaker 3: I'm doing nothing. I'm like, I go home I'm kind 867 00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:34,839 Speaker 3: of I'm just playing video games and sometimes I'll maybe 868 00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:37,160 Speaker 3: hang out with a friend once a week, and so 869 00:46:37,360 --> 00:46:38,879 Speaker 3: I'm like, I want to go out and meet people. 870 00:46:38,920 --> 00:46:41,080 Speaker 3: I want to go and do things. But if you're 871 00:46:41,200 --> 00:46:43,799 Speaker 3: not like above twenty one in Vegas, there's not much 872 00:46:43,840 --> 00:46:45,919 Speaker 3: to do out here that isn't burning hot. 873 00:46:47,760 --> 00:46:50,440 Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, I, by the way, I actually think being like, 874 00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:52,640 Speaker 1: oh I want to be a bartender, Like, I think 875 00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:57,640 Speaker 1: that choosing your career path based on like what you 876 00:46:57,760 --> 00:47:01,239 Speaker 1: think will put you in physical proximity to the most 877 00:47:01,280 --> 00:47:04,480 Speaker 1: amount of other people. Is I I genuinely do think 878 00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:09,040 Speaker 1: that is smart. I do think that is smart. I 879 00:47:09,080 --> 00:47:12,520 Speaker 1: get what your parents say though about you know, you 880 00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:15,760 Speaker 1: want to do some ship where there is some form 881 00:47:15,840 --> 00:47:19,640 Speaker 1: of like upward mobility so that you can you know, 882 00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:21,120 Speaker 1: you know, you know, you don't want to be like 883 00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:26,120 Speaker 1: stuck making ship money for forever and ever. 884 00:47:27,560 --> 00:47:30,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's yeah, that's kind of that's a fair point. 885 00:47:30,800 --> 00:47:37,600 Speaker 1: But but but I it is interesting though, because there 886 00:47:37,640 --> 00:47:39,799 Speaker 1: are and so what you're are you going to go 887 00:47:39,840 --> 00:47:41,040 Speaker 1: to college? 888 00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:44,600 Speaker 3: I think you maybe signing up the community college out here, 889 00:47:44,680 --> 00:47:47,279 Speaker 3: but not really for the courses of me maybe trying 890 00:47:47,280 --> 00:47:49,120 Speaker 3: to go to meet people. I think that's just an 891 00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:52,160 Speaker 3: hitch I kind of need to scratch because like I 892 00:47:52,200 --> 00:47:54,359 Speaker 3: don't know, man, maybe because like it's been a while 893 00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:56,600 Speaker 3: thing that like I've hung out with people like new 894 00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:58,840 Speaker 3: people because I don't know. I love my friends, like 895 00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:01,600 Speaker 3: we're all great, but it's just been a while. 896 00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:02,680 Speaker 2: I guess. 897 00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:07,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, you have you have reasonable goals. You 898 00:48:07,040 --> 00:48:11,320 Speaker 1: want to make money and you want to be around 899 00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:14,840 Speaker 1: other people, is what I assume are your goals. 900 00:48:15,160 --> 00:48:17,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's kind of a goal. But also the one 901 00:48:17,719 --> 00:48:20,000 Speaker 3: thing I struggles to that goal for me personally is 902 00:48:20,040 --> 00:48:21,759 Speaker 3: just taking that first step for a lot of things, 903 00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:24,439 Speaker 3: because like I'm real lazy on taking that first step 904 00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:26,520 Speaker 3: and just don't end up doing it, or just I 905 00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:28,360 Speaker 3: don't know, not knowing how to do it because I 906 00:48:28,400 --> 00:48:30,400 Speaker 3: see people do it so easily, and it's just like 907 00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:33,399 Speaker 3: I don't understand. Like maybe there's a lot of more 908 00:48:33,440 --> 00:48:36,360 Speaker 3: mental struggle I put myself for I'm thinking, oh, what 909 00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:38,680 Speaker 3: if this does happen, or what if this happens, you know, 910 00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:41,080 Speaker 3: and I break it down way too much, even though 911 00:48:41,120 --> 00:48:42,680 Speaker 3: it could just be done in the second by the 912 00:48:42,719 --> 00:48:45,040 Speaker 3: time already breaking down. 913 00:48:45,360 --> 00:48:48,399 Speaker 1: Wait, hold on, what are you spiraling? About like when 914 00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:50,000 Speaker 1: you say you see other people do it easy? What 915 00:48:50,040 --> 00:48:51,440 Speaker 1: are you talking? What are you talking about? 916 00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:55,200 Speaker 3: Like telling people like like people are taking the first 917 00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:57,720 Speaker 3: step to go do something so like something they've always 918 00:48:57,760 --> 00:48:59,400 Speaker 3: want to do for a while. I feel like I 919 00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:01,279 Speaker 3: got to family members at me, so you know what, 920 00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:03,840 Speaker 3: just socide and just go do it. They don't overthink 921 00:49:03,880 --> 00:49:05,839 Speaker 3: about it, They don't really think about it too much. 922 00:49:05,880 --> 00:49:07,959 Speaker 3: They can go ahead and do it, even the fear 923 00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:10,319 Speaker 3: of failure. They know that, but they still go ahead 924 00:49:10,360 --> 00:49:10,799 Speaker 3: and do it. 925 00:49:11,440 --> 00:49:14,840 Speaker 1: Give me, give me, give me an example from your life, 926 00:49:14,840 --> 00:49:16,719 Speaker 1: like what are you what are you scared to go do? 927 00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:22,479 Speaker 3: I don't know, man, maybe it's more scared of making 928 00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:28,560 Speaker 3: direct change, like trying to think. Here, I don't like, 929 00:49:28,560 --> 00:49:31,120 Speaker 3: like you said, already socializing thing. I'm afraid to approach 930 00:49:31,160 --> 00:49:35,560 Speaker 3: people sometimes because I'm not obviously I'm not hundred percent 931 00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:37,239 Speaker 3: sure what the reaction is going to be. And I 932 00:49:37,239 --> 00:49:39,560 Speaker 3: don't mind talking like friend and wide. I don't mind that, 933 00:49:39,600 --> 00:49:41,480 Speaker 3: but it's like talking. I don't have to go talk 934 00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:43,880 Speaker 3: to a girl, for example, Like I don't know if 935 00:49:43,880 --> 00:49:46,880 Speaker 3: I'm ready to even do that first step. I'm nervous 936 00:49:46,920 --> 00:49:47,319 Speaker 3: about that. 937 00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:53,720 Speaker 1: Man. Interesting, Well, I feel like the whole this whole 938 00:49:53,719 --> 00:49:57,799 Speaker 1: idea of like, yeah, you know, I'm thinking about this 939 00:49:57,840 --> 00:49:59,880 Speaker 1: because you the whole idea of like, oh I'm a 940 00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:06,320 Speaker 1: to approach. You know, it's more about you're you're focusing 941 00:50:06,360 --> 00:50:13,160 Speaker 1: on like the stress of like one single interaction, where uh, 942 00:50:13,360 --> 00:50:18,000 Speaker 1: the real sauce is attempting to design your life in 943 00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:23,239 Speaker 1: such a way that you are naturally in spaces with 944 00:50:23,440 --> 00:50:28,520 Speaker 1: other people repeatedly, which is how you make friends and 945 00:50:28,640 --> 00:50:32,319 Speaker 1: meet girls and do all that shit. So yeah, and 946 00:50:32,360 --> 00:50:35,440 Speaker 1: that's easy when you're in high school because that's just 947 00:50:35,520 --> 00:50:37,720 Speaker 1: naturally done for you. And then when you get older, 948 00:50:37,719 --> 00:50:41,640 Speaker 1: it gets it gets harder. But if you're intentional about it, 949 00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:44,840 Speaker 1: you it's you can do it. And especially because you 950 00:50:44,880 --> 00:50:47,000 Speaker 1: live do you live like in Vegas proper or you 951 00:50:47,040 --> 00:50:49,200 Speaker 1: like a little bit out on, a. 952 00:50:49,200 --> 00:50:52,440 Speaker 3: Little bit outwards like not exactly in direct Vegas, but 953 00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:54,359 Speaker 3: a little bit hours to the other cities around it. 954 00:50:54,760 --> 00:50:57,200 Speaker 1: You got a car, Yeah, I do. 955 00:50:57,600 --> 00:50:59,319 Speaker 3: You've got a new one recent so my old one 956 00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:01,720 Speaker 3: just mean transition went to junk. 957 00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:04,880 Speaker 1: All right, okay, all right, so you're clean. I mean, 958 00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:07,600 Speaker 1: you live in a major city and you have a car, 959 00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:14,440 Speaker 1: and you what you're you just graduated high school, so 960 00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:16,560 Speaker 1: you're a little you're a little in between ship right now. 961 00:51:17,760 --> 00:51:21,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, that weird in between like figuring out your life 962 00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:24,399 Speaker 3: after high school and also just trying to figure out 963 00:51:24,400 --> 00:51:26,120 Speaker 3: who you are to what you want to do. It's 964 00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:27,600 Speaker 3: that weird in between, I guess. 965 00:51:27,640 --> 00:51:29,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, m hm. 966 00:51:31,320 --> 00:51:31,719 Speaker 2: Hm hmm. 967 00:51:32,360 --> 00:51:36,759 Speaker 1: Well, I mean there's a lot of there's a lot 968 00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:39,600 Speaker 1: of things like you do you do you what? What 969 00:51:39,640 --> 00:51:40,160 Speaker 1: do you can say? 970 00:51:40,160 --> 00:51:40,680 Speaker 2: All right? 971 00:51:40,719 --> 00:51:43,640 Speaker 1: For like for the money part, right, for the money part, 972 00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:46,279 Speaker 1: what are you thinking about wanting to do? 973 00:51:46,520 --> 00:51:46,719 Speaker 2: You know? 974 00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:51,120 Speaker 1: Because there's you could go to fucking trade school, you 975 00:51:51,160 --> 00:51:54,040 Speaker 1: could you could join your dad and painting ship. 976 00:51:54,680 --> 00:51:54,920 Speaker 2: You know. 977 00:51:56,480 --> 00:52:00,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, honestly, money wise, probably joining wound be 978 00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:02,840 Speaker 3: the better option because huh, it's a little bit the 979 00:52:02,920 --> 00:52:04,840 Speaker 3: hard vest to get into and with someone like my 980 00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:06,960 Speaker 3: dad who's been in for a while, I can get 981 00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:08,920 Speaker 3: a really good hands on for it. The money why, 982 00:52:09,080 --> 00:52:12,000 Speaker 3: it would be great for me, But I don't know 983 00:52:12,040 --> 00:52:14,480 Speaker 3: if I would really enjoy doing it. But I don't 984 00:52:14,520 --> 00:52:16,600 Speaker 3: know how much can you really enjoy a job, because 985 00:52:16,640 --> 00:52:18,960 Speaker 3: at one point it's gonna get repetitive no matter what 986 00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:21,400 Speaker 3: you do, right, and you're eventually gonna get bored of it. 987 00:52:21,440 --> 00:52:25,239 Speaker 3: Even something you really enjoy, it's gonna feel dull. That's 988 00:52:25,280 --> 00:52:26,200 Speaker 3: what kind of sucks. 989 00:52:26,520 --> 00:52:32,160 Speaker 1: Well, well, I actually your situation specifically, I got a 990 00:52:32,160 --> 00:52:34,520 Speaker 1: few thoughts on it because you live with your parents 991 00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:34,960 Speaker 1: right now. 992 00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:37,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm live with my parents. 993 00:52:37,360 --> 00:52:42,000 Speaker 1: See you gotta see I I'm looking at your situation 994 00:52:42,120 --> 00:52:44,000 Speaker 1: right Okay, so you're not and you're not planning on 995 00:52:44,920 --> 00:52:46,480 Speaker 1: and you can just go right into this and you 996 00:52:46,480 --> 00:52:48,360 Speaker 1: don't have to go to college and you don't have 997 00:52:48,360 --> 00:52:49,959 Speaker 1: to ac crew a bunch of debt and all that shit. 998 00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:53,120 Speaker 3: Yeah no, no, no, at least I'm trying not to 999 00:52:53,120 --> 00:52:55,000 Speaker 3: get into any debt and all that stuff. 1000 00:52:55,440 --> 00:52:57,920 Speaker 1: So look, I'm just if I I'm gonna lay this out. 1001 00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:00,200 Speaker 1: This is I feel like I'm talking. I feel like 1002 00:53:00,200 --> 00:53:03,360 Speaker 1: i'm your dad right now. I don't know why, but 1003 00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:05,840 Speaker 1: I do like I like thinking about this stuff. So 1004 00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:09,399 Speaker 1: I'm engaged. I'm interested in your life. I like thinking 1005 00:53:09,400 --> 00:53:14,279 Speaker 1: about these things because all right, okay, all right, I 1006 00:53:14,280 --> 00:53:18,680 Speaker 1: actually do feel like I'm qualified to ponder this with 1007 00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:22,759 Speaker 1: you in some way, shape or form, which is that 1008 00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:28,960 Speaker 1: you actually have a great situation because it because what 1009 00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:34,959 Speaker 1: a lot of people your age do is they go 1010 00:53:35,040 --> 00:53:38,600 Speaker 1: to college because it's what everyone told them to do. 1011 00:53:39,560 --> 00:53:43,560 Speaker 1: And they spend four years and you know, they have 1012 00:53:43,640 --> 00:53:47,000 Speaker 1: fun and you know, maybe party or maybe they don't 1013 00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:49,080 Speaker 1: or maybe they you know, it's not that linear of 1014 00:53:49,120 --> 00:53:51,480 Speaker 1: a thing. But you go to college and then you 1015 00:53:51,520 --> 00:53:54,920 Speaker 1: graduate and oh no, you picked a stupid You graduated 1016 00:53:54,920 --> 00:53:58,120 Speaker 1: in like you got an English degree or something, or 1017 00:53:58,160 --> 00:54:01,279 Speaker 1: even a degree in like something that you're like a 1018 00:54:01,320 --> 00:54:04,400 Speaker 1: marketing degree or something. And you graduate and now you 1019 00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:08,480 Speaker 1: and now you're twenty two years old and you're in 1020 00:54:08,880 --> 00:54:13,240 Speaker 1: a mountain of debt and you're going into a job 1021 00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:20,239 Speaker 1: market that is like so deeply stacked against you, and 1022 00:54:20,320 --> 00:54:24,440 Speaker 1: it's hard, right, but you you have an interest, you 1023 00:54:24,480 --> 00:54:26,360 Speaker 1: have a new other, you have a different option that 1024 00:54:26,440 --> 00:54:29,120 Speaker 1: you could do, which I think is an it's interesting 1025 00:54:29,160 --> 00:54:31,520 Speaker 1: to explore. Now, Look, if you told me, if you 1026 00:54:31,560 --> 00:54:33,400 Speaker 1: were like, I really want to become a doctor. I 1027 00:54:33,440 --> 00:54:35,279 Speaker 1: really want to become a lawyer. I really want to 1028 00:54:37,880 --> 00:54:40,160 Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm trying to think of other biologists. 1029 00:54:40,160 --> 00:54:42,000 Speaker 1: I really wanted to get into science. If you're telling 1030 00:54:42,040 --> 00:54:46,919 Speaker 1: me that, if you're telling me those things, then then yeah, 1031 00:54:46,920 --> 00:54:48,640 Speaker 1: it's worth it to go to college and get it, 1032 00:54:48,760 --> 00:54:51,400 Speaker 1: rack up debt, and do whatever the fuck you're gonna do. 1033 00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:54,440 Speaker 1: But if you're sitting here like, I got no fucking idea, 1034 00:54:54,480 --> 00:54:57,799 Speaker 1: I just want to be around people and exist. Right, 1035 00:54:58,360 --> 00:55:00,719 Speaker 1: you're in a cool position because you could go work 1036 00:55:00,760 --> 00:55:05,400 Speaker 1: with your dad for four years and live in your parents' 1037 00:55:06,160 --> 00:55:11,520 Speaker 1: house and save and every fucking penny that you make 1038 00:55:11,600 --> 00:55:15,120 Speaker 1: from your dad, you can save for four years. Right, 1039 00:55:15,480 --> 00:55:17,840 Speaker 1: for four years, you can work with your dad and 1040 00:55:17,920 --> 00:55:21,120 Speaker 1: maybe whatever whatever, whether or not you like the job. Okay, 1041 00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:21,600 Speaker 1: what is it? 1042 00:55:21,640 --> 00:55:21,719 Speaker 2: Well? 1043 00:55:21,760 --> 00:55:23,799 Speaker 1: How along would this job is? Is like a nine to five? 1044 00:55:23,880 --> 00:55:25,600 Speaker 1: What kind of job? What are the hours? On this phone? 1045 00:55:27,160 --> 00:55:28,759 Speaker 3: Kind of like a nine to five? I worked in 1046 00:55:28,840 --> 00:55:32,520 Speaker 3: like well, like five am to like five pm, like 1047 00:55:32,600 --> 00:55:35,760 Speaker 3: five am Friday, Yeah, Monday. 1048 00:55:35,520 --> 00:55:37,920 Speaker 1: So twelve twelve hours Monday through Friday. 1049 00:55:39,080 --> 00:55:39,319 Speaker 2: Yeah. 1050 00:55:40,320 --> 00:55:42,680 Speaker 1: So here's what you could And because you're eighteen, you 1051 00:55:42,719 --> 00:55:45,640 Speaker 1: can physically do this. If this is what you want 1052 00:55:45,680 --> 00:55:48,120 Speaker 1: to do, you could spend the next Listen, you can 1053 00:55:48,160 --> 00:55:51,800 Speaker 1: spend the next four years. You work Monday through Friday 1054 00:55:52,160 --> 00:55:55,239 Speaker 1: with your dad. You grind it out, okay, and you 1055 00:55:55,320 --> 00:55:57,640 Speaker 1: save all working Like what how many hours a week? 1056 00:55:57,719 --> 00:55:57,880 Speaker 2: Is that? 1057 00:55:57,920 --> 00:56:02,920 Speaker 1: Twelve times five? What's twelve times sixty. 1058 00:56:05,440 --> 00:56:06,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that's sixty. 1059 00:56:07,080 --> 00:56:10,399 Speaker 1: That's sixty, okay, And then you could, dude, you can 1060 00:56:10,520 --> 00:56:14,120 Speaker 1: save spent four years living in your parents' house. You 1061 00:56:14,280 --> 00:56:18,880 Speaker 1: save all that money, right, you save all that money, 1062 00:56:19,200 --> 00:56:21,080 Speaker 1: and that's what? What's four years? I don't know? What 1063 00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:23,080 Speaker 1: do you? What do? What do you can? 1064 00:56:23,120 --> 00:56:23,399 Speaker 2: I ask? 1065 00:56:23,400 --> 00:56:24,880 Speaker 1: You don't have to share if you don't want to. 1066 00:56:24,920 --> 00:56:26,680 Speaker 1: What do you make with this job? 1067 00:56:28,480 --> 00:56:28,879 Speaker 2: I make? 1068 00:56:29,160 --> 00:56:30,920 Speaker 3: Well, it's not really per hour, since it's kind of 1069 00:56:30,920 --> 00:56:33,840 Speaker 3: more of a family situation, since all right, business, okay, 1070 00:56:33,960 --> 00:56:35,480 Speaker 3: I make like one hundred. 1071 00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:39,520 Speaker 1: A day, okay, one hundred a day working six, working 1072 00:56:39,560 --> 00:56:44,440 Speaker 1: twelve one hundred a day working twelve hours. Yeah, what 1073 00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:45,600 Speaker 1: does that come out to? Hold on? 1074 00:56:46,480 --> 00:56:50,000 Speaker 3: It's like, I know, that's five hundred a week, five. 1075 00:56:49,920 --> 00:56:53,239 Speaker 1: One hundred dollars. What is it's one hundred divided by 1076 00:56:53,280 --> 00:56:59,080 Speaker 1: twelve eight dollars. You gotta you gotta negotiation. You gotta 1077 00:56:59,120 --> 00:57:05,680 Speaker 1: negotiate that with your dad, my friend, because that's because 1078 00:57:05,719 --> 00:57:08,000 Speaker 1: what what is? What's Nevada minimum wage? 1079 00:57:08,920 --> 00:57:12,279 Speaker 3: Let me google this, honest, I think it's pretty low. 1080 00:57:12,960 --> 00:57:18,200 Speaker 1: Nevada minimum wage. It's twelve dollars. Okay, your dad's paying 1081 00:57:18,200 --> 00:57:20,320 Speaker 1: you all right. If I were all right, if I 1082 00:57:20,360 --> 00:57:22,160 Speaker 1: were you, I would do a couple of things. First, 1083 00:57:22,240 --> 00:57:23,920 Speaker 1: is you got to negotiate with your dad to pay 1084 00:57:23,960 --> 00:57:29,800 Speaker 1: you at minimum Nevada minimum wage. Yeah, your dad's gotta 1085 00:57:29,840 --> 00:57:32,880 Speaker 1: get you. Got your dad's gotta get you. Uh Nevada 1086 00:57:33,080 --> 00:57:36,280 Speaker 1: minimum wage? Is this your is your dad's business, right? 1087 00:57:37,320 --> 00:57:38,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's his business? 1088 00:57:38,640 --> 00:57:41,200 Speaker 1: All right? Tell your dad. Tell your dad he's got 1089 00:57:41,200 --> 00:57:45,120 Speaker 1: to pay you Nevada minimum wage, which is at least 1090 00:57:45,120 --> 00:57:48,040 Speaker 1: twelve dollars and what's the federal minimum wage? Fifty fifteen? 1091 00:57:48,080 --> 00:57:53,200 Speaker 1: Now I think st think it's like, oh okay, god damn. 1092 00:57:53,240 --> 00:57:55,240 Speaker 1: The federal minimum wage is still seven to twenty five, 1093 00:57:55,280 --> 00:57:57,560 Speaker 1: all right, But the Vitta mintum wage twelve dollars an hour. 1094 00:57:57,600 --> 00:57:59,160 Speaker 1: So get your dad to give you at least twelve 1095 00:57:59,200 --> 00:58:01,360 Speaker 1: dollars an hour, all right. So if that gives you 1096 00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:03,880 Speaker 1: twelve dollars an hour and you're working ten hours a week, 1097 00:58:04,200 --> 00:58:06,720 Speaker 1: that's what, No, not ten hours a week, I'm an idiot. 1098 00:58:06,840 --> 00:58:12,920 Speaker 1: Sixty hours a week, sixty times twelve, all right, So 1099 00:58:12,920 --> 00:58:14,360 Speaker 1: you're making like said, al right, So if your dad 1100 00:58:14,400 --> 00:58:16,280 Speaker 1: can give you like seven hundred and twenty dollars a week, 1101 00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:18,920 Speaker 1: all right, if you can negotiate that with your dad. 1102 00:58:19,480 --> 00:58:21,200 Speaker 1: That's an vitta minimum wage. 1103 00:58:21,640 --> 00:58:21,960 Speaker 2: All right? 1104 00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:25,919 Speaker 1: What is that times fifty two? All right, it's thirty 1105 00:58:25,960 --> 00:58:29,760 Speaker 1: seven thousand dollars a year about before taxes. I have 1106 00:58:29,800 --> 00:58:32,800 Speaker 1: no idea what the taxes are on that, but whatever, 1107 00:58:33,040 --> 00:58:35,720 Speaker 1: all right, all right, So if you do that for 1108 00:58:35,760 --> 00:58:40,080 Speaker 1: four years, okay, what's that? Time's four Okay? Now you 1109 00:58:40,200 --> 00:58:43,160 Speaker 1: have okay, one hundred and forty nine Okay, that's one 1110 00:58:43,240 --> 00:58:47,600 Speaker 1: hundred and forty nine thousand dollars. Most eighteen year olds, 1111 00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:51,160 Speaker 1: over the course of four years go. I don't know 1112 00:58:51,160 --> 00:58:53,160 Speaker 1: what the exact numbers are, might be exaggerating, but a 1113 00:58:53,160 --> 00:58:57,120 Speaker 1: lot of eighteen year olds spend four years going one 1114 00:58:57,200 --> 00:59:01,880 Speaker 1: hundred and forty nine thousand dollars into debt and you 1115 00:59:02,680 --> 00:59:05,560 Speaker 1: could live it. You could spend the next four years 1116 00:59:05,720 --> 00:59:09,920 Speaker 1: saving up one hundred and forty nine thousand dollars. I 1117 00:59:09,960 --> 00:59:11,640 Speaker 1: don't know if you have to pay taxes on that, 1118 00:59:11,680 --> 00:59:14,000 Speaker 1: and you probably are gonna want to, you know, pay 1119 00:59:14,040 --> 00:59:16,760 Speaker 1: for gas and whatever you're gonna you'll have expenses. It's 1120 00:59:16,760 --> 00:59:19,360 Speaker 1: not gonna be one hundred and four nine thousand dollars exactly, 1121 00:59:19,520 --> 00:59:21,440 Speaker 1: but you might. But dude, bro you could save up. 1122 00:59:21,520 --> 00:59:24,760 Speaker 1: Like I'm thorrowing, I'm pulling numbers out of thin air. 1123 00:59:24,800 --> 00:59:27,600 Speaker 1: But you could be you can graduate. You could graduate. 1124 00:59:27,640 --> 00:59:29,240 Speaker 1: You could be twenty two years old and you could 1125 00:59:29,280 --> 00:59:33,480 Speaker 1: have seventy thousand dollars saved up. Most people that age 1126 00:59:33,640 --> 00:59:37,880 Speaker 1: are like seventy thousand dollars in debt, you know, And 1127 00:59:37,880 --> 00:59:40,439 Speaker 1: and get this and get this and get this. What's 1128 00:59:40,440 --> 00:59:41,320 Speaker 1: your name again? Aiden? 1129 00:59:42,320 --> 00:59:42,960 Speaker 2: Yeah? 1130 00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:50,040 Speaker 1: And get this? Aidan? Is is is during that whole time? Okay, 1131 00:59:50,080 --> 00:59:52,520 Speaker 1: you wake up five am and then you work until 1132 00:59:52,960 --> 00:59:57,600 Speaker 1: five pm. You have a car, right, mm hmm, you 1133 00:59:57,680 --> 00:59:59,600 Speaker 1: could fuck it. What do you like to do, Aidan? 1134 01:00:01,080 --> 01:00:02,320 Speaker 3: Well, like my free time? 1135 01:00:02,560 --> 01:00:04,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, just in general? What do you like to do? 1136 01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:09,560 Speaker 3: I had to play I had to play guitar like hangouts, 1137 01:00:09,560 --> 01:00:15,400 Speaker 3: friends play video games or play guitar. Yeah, I used 1138 01:00:15,440 --> 01:00:15,960 Speaker 3: to play a lot. 1139 01:00:16,240 --> 01:00:19,280 Speaker 1: But you could see you what you could do? You 1140 01:00:19,320 --> 01:00:21,800 Speaker 1: could and then okay, five pm? Right, for the next 1141 01:00:21,840 --> 01:00:25,400 Speaker 1: four years, you get off at five pm and you 1142 01:00:25,520 --> 01:00:30,160 Speaker 1: just start going to local like you're not big concerts 1143 01:00:30,200 --> 01:00:32,280 Speaker 1: that cost a bunch of money, but you could just 1144 01:00:32,440 --> 01:00:36,080 Speaker 1: get you could dive into the local Nevada. What kind 1145 01:00:36,120 --> 01:00:36,640 Speaker 1: of music do. 1146 01:00:36,520 --> 01:00:40,000 Speaker 3: You like I'm I'm a big fan of indie music. 1147 01:00:40,200 --> 01:00:42,800 Speaker 1: You like any music, you, I guarant fucking tee you 1148 01:00:43,160 --> 01:00:46,600 Speaker 1: that all around the all around Vegas, in the suburbs 1149 01:00:46,720 --> 01:00:49,040 Speaker 1: or whatever. I guarantee you all around Vegas. There are 1150 01:00:49,200 --> 01:00:54,560 Speaker 1: plenty of indie local music shows going around at shit 1151 01:00:54,640 --> 01:00:59,200 Speaker 1: ass dive bars that are like fifteen dollars admission. Okay, 1152 01:00:59,480 --> 01:01:02,240 Speaker 1: you could spend. You could spend every night of your 1153 01:01:02,400 --> 01:01:04,400 Speaker 1: you spend every day of your life for the next 1154 01:01:04,400 --> 01:01:07,880 Speaker 1: four years. You go into work, okay, and then you 1155 01:01:07,920 --> 01:01:10,880 Speaker 1: get off at five pm, and then you drive to 1156 01:01:11,160 --> 01:01:16,840 Speaker 1: a local indie concert and you pay fifteen bucks okay, 1157 01:01:16,920 --> 01:01:20,160 Speaker 1: or and you you whatever gas costs. It's pretty low expenses. 1158 01:01:22,400 --> 01:01:25,840 Speaker 1: And then you get involved in the local indie music scene. 1159 01:01:26,200 --> 01:01:28,320 Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, after like one year, 1160 01:01:28,880 --> 01:01:31,360 Speaker 1: you start showing You show up at these concerts, and 1161 01:01:31,360 --> 01:01:32,920 Speaker 1: then you have now you have and you're like, oh, hey, 1162 01:01:32,960 --> 01:01:35,360 Speaker 1: what's up, man, I've seen you before. Oh hey, oh 1163 01:01:35,360 --> 01:01:37,280 Speaker 1: maybe maybe there's some girl. And it's like, oh hey, 1164 01:01:37,320 --> 01:01:39,800 Speaker 1: i've seen you before, you know, and then all of 1165 01:01:39,840 --> 01:01:41,000 Speaker 1: a sudden, you have all of a sudden, all of 1166 01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:43,800 Speaker 1: a sudden, because you keep showing up, you start to 1167 01:01:43,920 --> 01:01:48,280 Speaker 1: see the same people around the same concerts. Okay, and 1168 01:01:48,360 --> 01:01:52,120 Speaker 1: then and then now you have a little community. Okay, 1169 01:01:52,360 --> 01:01:56,280 Speaker 1: and so you fucking and the whole time you're living 1170 01:01:56,280 --> 01:01:59,160 Speaker 1: in your parents' basement. You're not paying for rent, you're 1171 01:01:59,160 --> 01:02:00,840 Speaker 1: not paying for a walk, you're not paying for any 1172 01:02:00,840 --> 01:02:04,120 Speaker 1: of this fucking shit. Okay, And you're saving up all 1173 01:02:04,160 --> 01:02:09,960 Speaker 1: the money you're spending money on like food, and we 1174 01:02:10,920 --> 01:02:14,120 Speaker 1: go into these indie shows, and you know, you take 1175 01:02:14,120 --> 01:02:17,080 Speaker 1: a girl out to Chipotle every now and then. Okay, 1176 01:02:17,680 --> 01:02:21,840 Speaker 1: and then and now you've spent now four years, now 1177 01:02:21,840 --> 01:02:26,200 Speaker 1: you graduate, Okay, Now, now you're twenty two, and picture 1178 01:02:26,280 --> 01:02:30,439 Speaker 1: this you have Okay, you made one hundred and forty 1179 01:02:30,520 --> 01:02:32,880 Speaker 1: nine thousand dollars from your dad over the course of 1180 01:02:33,120 --> 01:02:38,400 Speaker 1: four years. Again, most people are spending that going into debt. Okay, 1181 01:02:38,560 --> 01:02:42,720 Speaker 1: you have one hundred. Now you have seventy grand. Let's say, 1182 01:02:43,200 --> 01:02:46,400 Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm just gonna say that because you 1183 01:02:46,520 --> 01:02:51,600 Speaker 1: saved it, because you saved up and you know, but 1184 01:02:51,640 --> 01:02:53,120 Speaker 1: you don't have a degree, But you have a lot 1185 01:02:53,160 --> 01:02:56,360 Speaker 1: of work experience, You've met a lot of people from 1186 01:02:56,400 --> 01:02:58,360 Speaker 1: the indie music scene. You have no idea what kind 1187 01:02:58,360 --> 01:03:01,600 Speaker 1: of career opportunities could come from that. Someone could be like, oh, 1188 01:03:01,640 --> 01:03:03,880 Speaker 1: hey I need an audio engineer to fucking do this 1189 01:03:03,960 --> 01:03:06,080 Speaker 1: whatever fucking thing, or hey, my band is going on 1190 01:03:06,120 --> 01:03:08,080 Speaker 1: tour and we need a roady to go. You know, 1191 01:03:08,640 --> 01:03:10,920 Speaker 1: it's tons of opportunities to do that. You're gonna be 1192 01:03:10,920 --> 01:03:13,720 Speaker 1: meeting people, I'm sure through working for your dad. Okay, 1193 01:03:13,800 --> 01:03:16,600 Speaker 1: opportunities could come through that. And you have seventy thousand 1194 01:03:16,640 --> 01:03:19,360 Speaker 1: dollars of a safety net in case if you want 1195 01:03:19,360 --> 01:03:21,400 Speaker 1: to go start your own business, or if you do 1196 01:03:21,560 --> 01:03:24,440 Speaker 1: decide you want to go to a trade school or whatever, 1197 01:03:25,320 --> 01:03:28,120 Speaker 1: and the whole and you didn't have to just spend 1198 01:03:28,120 --> 01:03:31,720 Speaker 1: the whole four years doing nothing with your life. You know, 1199 01:03:32,280 --> 01:03:34,160 Speaker 1: you have you, You'll you'll have a you'll have a 1200 01:03:34,200 --> 01:03:38,880 Speaker 1: beautiful Wednesday where you got you. You're working all day 1201 01:03:39,400 --> 01:03:42,000 Speaker 1: and then at night you go out to this local 1202 01:03:42,080 --> 01:03:45,240 Speaker 1: indie concert whatever. Maybe you meet some people, maybe you 1203 01:03:45,280 --> 01:03:47,760 Speaker 1: guys go out for you. Still you still live in 1204 01:03:47,800 --> 01:03:50,520 Speaker 1: your life the whole the whole time, You're still living 1205 01:03:50,640 --> 01:03:55,000 Speaker 1: cool young guy life. It's this is this that's yeah, 1206 01:03:55,000 --> 01:03:57,520 Speaker 1: this is me just getting excited about that's what. That's 1207 01:03:57,640 --> 01:04:00,160 Speaker 1: that's how I view your situation is you're this is 1208 01:04:00,160 --> 01:04:02,720 Speaker 1: perfect because you get to save money and you still 1209 01:04:02,720 --> 01:04:05,880 Speaker 1: get to live cool young guy life. You know, because 1210 01:04:05,920 --> 01:04:07,080 Speaker 1: you're because you're lucky enough. 1211 01:04:07,120 --> 01:04:08,960 Speaker 3: That a great way of looking at it. 1212 01:04:09,160 --> 01:04:11,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, you're lucky enough that you had not everyone has. 1213 01:04:13,040 --> 01:04:14,680 Speaker 1: You know, I was lucky too. I'm lucky. I have 1214 01:04:14,760 --> 01:04:18,560 Speaker 1: parents that let me fucking live in their in their 1215 01:04:18,600 --> 01:04:21,480 Speaker 1: house after college. If you're like, if you're lucky enough 1216 01:04:21,520 --> 01:04:24,880 Speaker 1: to have that, god damn, take advantage of it. You know, 1217 01:04:25,440 --> 01:04:27,560 Speaker 1: you're lucky enough to have a dad who's willing to, 1218 01:04:27,880 --> 01:04:30,560 Speaker 1: you know, set you up in the thing, and the 1219 01:04:30,640 --> 01:04:33,840 Speaker 1: parents that'll let you hang out in their house. You know, 1220 01:04:34,400 --> 01:04:35,880 Speaker 1: take you take advantage of that. You can live a 1221 01:04:35,920 --> 01:04:38,880 Speaker 1: cool life over the next four years, save a bunch 1222 01:04:38,880 --> 01:04:42,240 Speaker 1: of money, and make a bunch of friends. And uh, yeah, 1223 01:04:42,320 --> 01:04:44,480 Speaker 1: I've been going on a ramp. But that's that's what 1224 01:04:44,520 --> 01:04:47,040 Speaker 1: I would do. That's my advice. 1225 01:04:49,200 --> 01:04:51,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, I honestly, i'most take your advice and the whole 1226 01:04:51,680 --> 01:04:53,800 Speaker 3: tire because that's all. It's both my issues. I guess 1227 01:04:53,840 --> 01:04:55,680 Speaker 3: it was meeting people and trying to figure out what 1228 01:04:55,720 --> 01:04:58,439 Speaker 3: to do long term. 1229 01:04:57,560 --> 01:05:00,600 Speaker 1: Right because well cause it's because you can have both. 1230 01:05:01,000 --> 01:05:05,120 Speaker 1: Because you go work for your dad, and then you know, 1231 01:05:05,400 --> 01:05:07,880 Speaker 1: you're nineteen years old, you can work for twelve hours 1232 01:05:07,920 --> 01:05:10,959 Speaker 1: a day and then go out and party afterwards, because 1233 01:05:11,000 --> 01:05:16,080 Speaker 1: you bought your body can take it. So so you 1234 01:05:16,120 --> 01:05:20,480 Speaker 1: so that you have your job for twelve hours a day. 1235 01:05:20,480 --> 01:05:24,680 Speaker 1: That solves your money issues, and then you have some 1236 01:05:24,840 --> 01:05:26,920 Speaker 1: form then and then on top of that, you find 1237 01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:31,160 Speaker 1: some form of community in the major city that you 1238 01:05:31,200 --> 01:05:35,080 Speaker 1: live in and just keep showing up to that, and 1239 01:05:35,080 --> 01:05:39,440 Speaker 1: then that fills up both of your your things and 1240 01:05:39,480 --> 01:05:41,680 Speaker 1: then and then some people might be like, well, if 1241 01:05:41,680 --> 01:05:43,640 Speaker 1: he doesn't get a degree, then how's he gonna well 1242 01:05:43,880 --> 01:05:47,720 Speaker 1: long term, you're twenty If again, if you have having 1243 01:05:48,280 --> 01:05:56,720 Speaker 1: I genuinely think I genuinely believe having no debt and 1244 01:05:57,080 --> 01:06:00,640 Speaker 1: a shit ton of money saved up and no degree 1245 01:06:01,200 --> 01:06:05,760 Speaker 1: is so much better than graduating from college with a 1246 01:06:05,760 --> 01:06:11,280 Speaker 1: bunch of debt and like a ship marketing degree. And 1247 01:06:12,840 --> 01:06:16,320 Speaker 1: that's just this is what I believe. It would be 1248 01:06:16,360 --> 01:06:19,720 Speaker 1: different if you were like again, it'd be different if 1249 01:06:19,720 --> 01:06:21,680 Speaker 1: you were like a lawyer or a doctor or some 1250 01:06:21,800 --> 01:06:25,720 Speaker 1: ship and you needed to do it. But anyway, yeah, 1251 01:06:25,720 --> 01:06:28,400 Speaker 1: that's what I think about your life. Thanks for letting me. 1252 01:06:28,520 --> 01:06:33,400 Speaker 1: I'm on. I'm a I'm on a lot of I 1253 01:06:33,480 --> 01:06:36,160 Speaker 1: upped my vibeance dosage a little bit. So you called 1254 01:06:36,200 --> 01:06:39,080 Speaker 1: it a perfect time to rant about these things. 1255 01:06:40,200 --> 01:06:42,080 Speaker 3: I enjoyed it. Man, that was a that alos a 1256 01:06:42,080 --> 01:06:45,360 Speaker 3: great advice SPECIFIC had in a while. Run situation. I 1257 01:06:45,440 --> 01:06:48,480 Speaker 3: think might really start doing that cool. 1258 01:06:48,680 --> 01:06:52,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, No, let me know if Yeah, you got you 1259 01:06:52,480 --> 01:06:55,640 Speaker 1: gotta play hardball with your daddy though, you gotta, you gotta, 1260 01:06:56,080 --> 01:06:57,720 Speaker 1: you gotta tell you here's what you should here's what 1261 01:06:57,760 --> 01:06:59,600 Speaker 1: you can do. You can actually work for him for 1262 01:06:59,720 --> 01:07:01,280 Speaker 1: like a little bit, and then tell him that you'll 1263 01:07:01,280 --> 01:07:04,160 Speaker 1: report him to the labor board. No, don't report your dad. 1264 01:07:04,400 --> 01:07:06,760 Speaker 1: Don't report don't don't report your dad to the labor board. 1265 01:07:06,840 --> 01:07:10,600 Speaker 1: Don't report your dad to the labor board. But uh yeah, 1266 01:07:10,920 --> 01:07:15,600 Speaker 1: just asking me if he can pay you minimum wage? 1267 01:07:15,480 --> 01:07:17,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, well, as I guess I should have that talk 1268 01:07:18,040 --> 01:07:20,120 Speaker 3: with him though about figuring out the paying a thing. 1269 01:07:20,200 --> 01:07:24,040 Speaker 3: I guess. I mean maybe it's more of just like 1270 01:07:24,040 --> 01:07:26,120 Speaker 3: any figure, because there is another thing he wants to 1271 01:07:26,160 --> 01:07:28,520 Speaker 3: try to teach me, which is what exactly he does. 1272 01:07:28,760 --> 01:07:30,720 Speaker 3: What I'm doing now a little bit different. I'm just 1273 01:07:31,240 --> 01:07:33,200 Speaker 3: helping him. But he wants to teach him what he's 1274 01:07:33,200 --> 01:07:35,080 Speaker 3: actually doing, which would make me a lot more money 1275 01:07:35,080 --> 01:07:37,320 Speaker 3: in the future that was taking like a year or 1276 01:07:37,320 --> 01:07:38,840 Speaker 3: two actually practicing getting it. 1277 01:07:41,040 --> 01:07:46,040 Speaker 1: That's great. See, Yeah, I understand the thing of like, 1278 01:07:46,200 --> 01:07:48,720 Speaker 1: I want to do a job that I like doing, 1279 01:07:50,840 --> 01:07:54,040 Speaker 1: but and you and you that could absolutely be in 1280 01:07:54,080 --> 01:07:57,920 Speaker 1: your future. But again but right but for right now, 1281 01:07:58,280 --> 01:08:01,840 Speaker 1: because you just graduated fucking high school. It's like, you 1282 01:08:01,880 --> 01:08:05,160 Speaker 1: can get your money up and get your community up. 1283 01:08:05,240 --> 01:08:08,120 Speaker 1: You have a perfect opportunity for that ship. And if 1284 01:08:08,120 --> 01:08:10,200 Speaker 1: your dad's teaching you how to do shit in the future, 1285 01:08:10,880 --> 01:08:17,080 Speaker 1: you know, you're still what am I about to say, 1286 01:08:17,160 --> 01:08:21,840 Speaker 1: You're still doing something that's like could compound over long term. 1287 01:08:22,400 --> 01:08:25,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, playing for the future, I guess, and making long 1288 01:08:25,360 --> 01:08:25,920 Speaker 3: term money. 1289 01:08:26,280 --> 01:08:29,040 Speaker 1: Yeah. And then and again the stuff that you end 1290 01:08:29,080 --> 01:08:30,640 Speaker 1: up whatever it is that you decide you want to 1291 01:08:30,720 --> 01:08:32,080 Speaker 1: end up doing at night. I don't know if it 1292 01:08:32,160 --> 01:08:35,080 Speaker 1: is the local concert thing, but I don't know if 1293 01:08:35,080 --> 01:08:38,000 Speaker 1: you want to you know, I mean when I was eighteen, 1294 01:08:38,040 --> 01:08:41,439 Speaker 1: I was going to like Super Smash Brothers tournaments at night. 1295 01:08:41,720 --> 01:08:43,720 Speaker 1: You know that compounds to do a community. You end 1296 01:08:43,800 --> 01:08:46,680 Speaker 1: up you meet people, yea, you meet people. Then that 1297 01:08:46,800 --> 01:08:49,920 Speaker 1: leads you to opportunities you wouldn't have uh known about before. 1298 01:08:50,120 --> 01:08:53,439 Speaker 1: So again, yeah, I'm I'm excited for you. You could have 1299 01:08:53,479 --> 01:08:56,040 Speaker 1: a next you could have a cool next four years. 1300 01:08:56,800 --> 01:09:00,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a great idea that I was, like, gets 1301 01:09:00,280 --> 01:09:02,880 Speaker 3: perspective log of what I should do a bit more 1302 01:09:02,920 --> 01:09:05,400 Speaker 3: of my decision making. So I guess I probably should 1303 01:09:05,400 --> 01:09:08,400 Speaker 3: have fallen working with my dad a bit, letting him 1304 01:09:08,400 --> 01:09:10,120 Speaker 3: teach me a lot more things. 1305 01:09:10,760 --> 01:09:22,280 Speaker 1: Mm hmm, aiden, Oh god, Aiden, Oh my god. Yeah, 1306 01:09:22,280 --> 01:09:27,120 Speaker 1: Oh no, I'm I'm uh, I'm doing excellence. I'm doing excellent. 1307 01:09:27,400 --> 01:09:29,640 Speaker 1: You know how You know who Gary Vee is? 1308 01:09:31,439 --> 01:09:31,679 Speaker 2: Yeah? 1309 01:09:31,680 --> 01:09:35,680 Speaker 1: I think so he's definitely on He's he's probably on 1310 01:09:35,800 --> 01:09:38,280 Speaker 1: So I don't do you think he's on adderall. He's 1311 01:09:38,320 --> 01:09:44,960 Speaker 1: gotta be, uh, honestly, maybe he's. 1312 01:09:44,800 --> 01:09:45,240 Speaker 2: Got to be. 1313 01:09:46,400 --> 01:09:48,639 Speaker 1: I don't know about cocaine. People say he's on cocaine, 1314 01:09:48,680 --> 01:09:51,840 Speaker 1: but he's got to be on a lot of stimulants. 1315 01:09:53,960 --> 01:10:00,879 Speaker 3: Probably. I think adderall might be one of them. 1316 01:10:02,320 --> 01:10:03,679 Speaker 1: And is there anything else? Who I say the people 1317 01:10:03,680 --> 01:10:04,559 Speaker 1: of the computer before we. 1318 01:10:04,520 --> 01:10:09,080 Speaker 3: Go, Am I able to say a few random words 1319 01:10:09,080 --> 01:10:09,559 Speaker 3: of wisdom? 1320 01:10:10,120 --> 01:10:10,360 Speaker 2: Yeah? 1321 01:10:10,400 --> 01:10:15,960 Speaker 3: You say whatever you want, honestly, make sure to love 1322 01:10:16,000 --> 01:10:19,080 Speaker 3: yourself before you love another. So that's all I gotta say. 1323 01:10:19,520 --> 01:10:22,560 Speaker 1: Beautiful by Aiden, of course. 1324 01:10:22,479 --> 01:10:25,080 Speaker 3: Have a great day, Gag. Thanks for the advice. 1325 01:10:27,520 --> 01:10:30,840 Speaker 1: I liked. I like that guy. I liked Adan. Yeah, 1326 01:10:30,840 --> 01:10:34,400 Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm very Folks who listen to this 1327 01:10:36,160 --> 01:10:41,320 Speaker 1: podcast have heard me talk about like film school and 1328 01:10:41,439 --> 01:10:49,040 Speaker 1: shit before. I don't know. If you're yeah, if you're 1329 01:10:49,080 --> 01:10:52,400 Speaker 1: in a position like that where yeah, like you're like, 1330 01:10:52,439 --> 01:10:54,599 Speaker 1: if you if you're lucky enough that you have like 1331 01:10:54,800 --> 01:10:57,680 Speaker 1: some kind of stable home situation where you can live 1332 01:10:57,720 --> 01:11:01,960 Speaker 1: at home. Uh, and like you know, people aren't fucking 1333 01:11:02,560 --> 01:11:04,759 Speaker 1: like screaming at each other all the time or anything 1334 01:11:04,840 --> 01:11:08,400 Speaker 1: like that. Oh my god, take advantage of that. Shit. Hello, folks, 1335 01:11:08,640 --> 01:11:11,920 Speaker 1: it's Lyle here. That's the end of this episode. But 1336 01:11:12,080 --> 01:11:17,160 Speaker 1: get this, I'm releasing a bonus episode this week. That's right, 1337 01:11:17,320 --> 01:11:21,599 Speaker 1: an entire extra hour of the podcast that you can 1338 01:11:21,640 --> 01:11:25,880 Speaker 1: listen to. By becoming a premium member of Therapy Gecko 1339 01:11:25,960 --> 01:11:30,760 Speaker 1: over at therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. Supercast subscribers 1340 01:11:30,760 --> 01:11:34,240 Speaker 1: get access to bonus episodes, They get a completely ad 1341 01:11:34,280 --> 01:11:37,840 Speaker 1: free podcast feed of the regular show, they get recordings 1342 01:11:37,880 --> 01:11:41,240 Speaker 1: from my live shows members only streams, and they help 1343 01:11:41,280 --> 01:11:45,040 Speaker 1: support my ability to continue doing this podcast. So here's 1344 01:11:45,080 --> 01:11:50,400 Speaker 1: a clip from this week's members only bonus episode, What 1345 01:11:50,520 --> 01:11:52,360 Speaker 1: is are You? Are you running right now? 1346 01:11:53,640 --> 01:11:54,040 Speaker 2: No? 1347 01:11:54,040 --> 01:11:54,200 Speaker 1: No? 1348 01:11:54,360 --> 01:11:57,680 Speaker 2: I uh I was hitting some curls. 1349 01:11:57,520 --> 01:12:03,599 Speaker 1: All right, all right, yeah, what I don't. 1350 01:12:03,439 --> 01:12:04,360 Speaker 2: Think you call it? What's up? 1351 01:12:04,400 --> 01:12:10,320 Speaker 1: Bro? No, that's all right, that's all right. Are you uh? 1352 01:12:10,880 --> 01:12:11,040 Speaker 2: Are? 1353 01:12:11,439 --> 01:12:12,559 Speaker 1: I don't know if I can talk to you, if 1354 01:12:12,560 --> 01:12:15,320 Speaker 1: you're gonna breathe into the into the microphone the whole time. 1355 01:12:15,640 --> 01:12:17,799 Speaker 3: Well, like, literally, I'm working out with my buddies. 1356 01:12:17,840 --> 01:12:20,240 Speaker 2: I was like doing some heavy curls and I was 1357 01:12:20,280 --> 01:12:23,760 Speaker 2: talking to him and then you called. I was like, oh, shoot, guys, 1358 01:12:23,800 --> 01:12:24,400 Speaker 2: the get's coming. 1359 01:12:24,479 --> 01:12:24,960 Speaker 3: I gotta go. 1360 01:12:25,600 --> 01:12:27,680 Speaker 1: If you want to hear this full conversation, you can 1361 01:12:27,720 --> 01:12:30,799 Speaker 1: sign up to become a premium member at therapy Gecko 1362 01:12:30,960 --> 01:12:34,760 Speaker 1: dot supercast dot com, or find the link in the 1363 01:12:34,800 --> 01:12:40,599 Speaker 1: episode description that's therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. All Right, 1364 01:12:41,000 --> 01:12:45,799 Speaker 1: I have nothing else to say, goes on the line, 1365 01:12:46,040 --> 01:12:50,960 Speaker 1: taking calls every night, Goes to his He's teaching you 1366 01:12:51,000 --> 01:12:54,799 Speaker 1: aloud in the line's exper