WEBVTT - 9. The Descent 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.240 Missing in Arizona contains graphic depictions of violence and may 0:00:03.279 --> 0:00:07.320 not be suitable for all listeners. This episode also discusses suicide. 0:00:07.600 --> 0:00:10.600 You can reach the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 0:00:10.680 --> 0:00:15.160 nine to eight eight. His final days and hours that 0:00:15.240 --> 0:00:18.360 April are murky. He'd been suffering from pain for a 0:00:18.400 --> 0:00:21.560 long time and drugging himself to dull it. There was 0:00:21.600 --> 0:00:24.239 a brief golden moment in the early nineties after his 0:00:24.360 --> 0:00:27.520 daughter was born, but an uneasy piece gave way to 0:00:27.600 --> 0:00:31.200 spiraling volatility. He was used to that. He came from 0:00:31.200 --> 0:00:34.479 a broken home, a child of divorce. In the end, 0:00:34.640 --> 0:00:37.640 he was alone. Someone thought they saw him at a bar, 0:00:37.960 --> 0:00:41.240 but that sighting is unconfirmed. We don't know what happened 0:00:41.280 --> 0:00:44.280 in his final hours as they wound down, though he 0:00:44.360 --> 0:00:48.280 made a choice burn out, don't fade away, exit in 0:00:48.320 --> 0:00:52.800 a flash. No one heard the gunshot. I used to 0:00:52.800 --> 0:00:55.440 live in a building in Seattle called the Okay Hotel. 0:00:55.920 --> 0:00:58.560 It was a famous music venue until two thousand and one, 0:00:58.680 --> 0:01:01.960 when an earthquake damaged it. Later it was converted into 0:01:01.960 --> 0:01:06.040 affordable apartments and artists studios. When I moved to Seattle, 0:01:06.160 --> 0:01:08.800 I made so little money I qualified to live there. 0:01:09.240 --> 0:01:11.640 My ex and I signed a lease, then broke up, 0:01:11.840 --> 0:01:15.039 but stayed for a bit. The day after we broke up, 0:01:15.120 --> 0:01:18.880 my brain was a cauldron of depression, anxiety, and cabin fever. 0:01:19.400 --> 0:01:23.480 Outside lay a perfect summer day, sunny, low seventies, A 0:01:23.520 --> 0:01:27.360 breeze blew in off Puget Sound. I decided to walk 0:01:27.400 --> 0:01:30.600 across the city to Kurt Cobain's house. This is where 0:01:30.640 --> 0:01:34.119 he died by suicide in April nineteen ninety four. As 0:01:34.160 --> 0:01:38.760 a kid, even now I related relate to Cobain. He 0:01:38.880 --> 0:01:41.840 wasn't my generation, but what does it matter. I love 0:01:41.920 --> 0:01:45.080 his music. I loved the idea of him more a 0:01:45.080 --> 0:01:48.440 loner with mental health issues, dedicated to art who stood 0:01:48.480 --> 0:01:53.400 up for the downtrodden, troubled but gentle, empathetic kind, the 0:01:53.520 --> 0:01:56.840 nineties icon who said I feel your pain and meant it, 0:01:57.240 --> 0:02:00.600 and we felt his. When someone like that made they 0:02:00.680 --> 0:02:04.960 make everyone like them feel less alone. Living in Seattle, 0:02:05.040 --> 0:02:08.360 I'd often pass bits of Nirvana history, the bar Cobain 0:02:08.480 --> 0:02:11.680 might have visited right before he died, Linda's tavern, the 0:02:11.680 --> 0:02:14.760 motel where he used to shoot up heroin, the Marco Polo. 0:02:15.160 --> 0:02:17.359 I didn't even have to leave my building to see 0:02:17.400 --> 0:02:20.320 a bit of his history. The Okay Hotel is where 0:02:20.400 --> 0:02:24.400 Nirvana premiered smells like teen Spirit in April nineteen ninety one. 0:02:24.440 --> 0:02:27.600 Twenty years later, when I moved in, the stage was gone, 0:02:27.800 --> 0:02:30.360 but I figured out where it stood in what became 0:02:30.400 --> 0:02:33.760 my building's trash room. This bit of music history was 0:02:33.840 --> 0:02:37.640 where I dumped my garbage. Honestly, I think Kurt would approve. 0:02:38.560 --> 0:02:41.120 My ex moved out. I made friends and went to 0:02:41.200 --> 0:02:45.760 concerts and games and art shows and clubs. Back home alone, 0:02:45.840 --> 0:02:48.799 I'd take out the trash down an elevator to this 0:02:48.880 --> 0:02:52.240 little room where a stage once stood, where an artist 0:02:52.360 --> 0:02:57.080 once stood, I'd pause. We can never hold the anarchy 0:02:57.120 --> 0:03:01.200 of change, that permanent impermanence, in anything but a brief abeyance. 0:03:01.560 --> 0:03:04.240 With all our might. The best we can do is 0:03:04.320 --> 0:03:08.400 slow it down, watch it approach frame by frame. Often 0:03:08.480 --> 0:03:11.639 we can't even do that. It speeds toward us, a 0:03:11.680 --> 0:03:15.440 towering tsunami of shadows that will consume us, a menacing 0:03:15.480 --> 0:03:19.720 specter that never lets us forget who's in control. Sometimes 0:03:19.800 --> 0:03:25.080 it's unpredictably benevolent. Often it's not. It can demonstrate bipolarity 0:03:25.120 --> 0:03:29.560 in the extreme rewarding us with riches material and immaterial, 0:03:29.800 --> 0:03:32.920 and torturing us at the same time. That's how a 0:03:32.960 --> 0:03:36.400 little boy from Aberdeen, Washington grows into a global icon, 0:03:36.640 --> 0:03:40.360 all the world his stage, while simultaneously dealing with addiction 0:03:40.480 --> 0:03:43.160 and depression and dying at the end of a needle 0:03:43.280 --> 0:03:45.960 and a gun. That's how a little boy in Arizona 0:03:46.080 --> 0:03:49.080 grows into a man of more modest success a wife, 0:03:49.200 --> 0:03:52.040 two kids, a house, a job at the Mayo Clinic 0:03:52.120 --> 0:03:56.760 Hospital in Phoenix, while simultaneously fighting his demons. The story 0:03:56.800 --> 0:03:59.000 of Kurt Cobain is one of a man who's pain 0:03:59.200 --> 0:04:02.520 never stamped out his humanity. The story of Robert Fisher 0:04:02.760 --> 0:04:05.360 is one of a man who's pain crystallized into a 0:04:05.400 --> 0:04:10.280 brutal act of violence. One self immolated, one immolated others. 0:04:11.320 --> 0:04:14.320 What separates you, I hope, from both of them is 0:04:14.320 --> 0:04:18.360 how you handle change. Isn't this what divides our society? 0:04:18.680 --> 0:04:21.680 How we handle change. Those of us who have seen 0:04:21.760 --> 0:04:24.719 the glory wanta martin reverse. Those of us who never 0:04:24.760 --> 0:04:27.640 reached it want to push forward. One side looks in 0:04:27.680 --> 0:04:31.680 a mirror and seeks to restore an unrestorable stasis. The 0:04:31.720 --> 0:04:34.719 other punches a hole in that mirror and claws forward 0:04:34.800 --> 0:04:38.200 through glass. We play an interminable game of tug of war, 0:04:38.560 --> 0:04:42.440 forcing change, reacting to it. This is the fault line 0:04:42.480 --> 0:04:45.760 of our times. At this pivot point in history, the 0:04:45.800 --> 0:04:49.080 forces of progress and the forces of reaction are engaged 0:04:49.120 --> 0:04:53.120 in a ferocious battle. Islam speaks of two jihads. You 0:04:53.279 --> 0:04:56.279 likely know one of them an external war, not the 0:04:56.360 --> 0:05:00.520 other an internal war. A siren calls out to your demons. 0:05:00.800 --> 0:05:06.440 Ask yourself, who's in control you? The demons? The story 0:05:06.440 --> 0:05:09.640 of Kurt Cobain is one of spiraling decline. The story 0:05:09.640 --> 0:05:13.080 of Robert Fisher is one of spiraling decline. The story 0:05:13.080 --> 0:05:17.279 of America I Fear is one of spiraling decline. Kurt 0:05:17.320 --> 0:05:21.039 died by suicide. Robert killed his wife and kids, burned 0:05:21.080 --> 0:05:24.159 down their house, and fled. In the end, who was 0:05:24.200 --> 0:05:28.640 in control Kurt or his demons? Robert or his demons? 0:05:29.080 --> 0:05:33.000 Is suicide or murder? A final exercise of control, of 0:05:33.040 --> 0:05:36.120 agency or the loss of it? Do you die by 0:05:36.160 --> 0:05:40.520 suicide or commit it? Who's in control now you or 0:05:40.520 --> 0:05:48.000 your demons? America's better angels or the demons of decline? 0:05:48.800 --> 0:05:52.680 From iHeartRadio and Neon thirty three, I'm John Walzac and 0:05:52.760 --> 0:05:55.960 This is Missing in Arizona, the story of a man 0:05:56.000 --> 0:05:59.520 who disappeared after allegedly killing his wife and kids, blowing 0:05:59.560 --> 0:06:03.200 up their bourbon home, and escaping into the wilderness. Twenty 0:06:03.240 --> 0:06:06.400 three years later, I'm hunting Robert Fisher, and I need 0:06:06.440 --> 0:06:14.480 your helping. The Fall of the House of Fisher begins 0:06:14.520 --> 0:06:18.480 in January nineteen eighty five in Barrego Springs, California, a 0:06:18.520 --> 0:06:21.960 tiny arid town between San Diego and the Salton Sea. 0:06:22.480 --> 0:06:24.920 After three years in the Navy, Robert gets a job 0:06:24.960 --> 0:06:28.479 here as a firefighter and emt. He and Mary get 0:06:28.520 --> 0:06:32.160 married in Arizona in November nineteen eighty four. She follows 0:06:32.200 --> 0:06:35.440 him back to California. The seed of their demise, the 0:06:35.480 --> 0:06:39.039 first flap of the butterflies Wings, arises only two months 0:06:39.080 --> 0:06:43.040 later January nineteen eighty five. Ronald Reagan has sworn in 0:06:43.080 --> 0:06:46.599 for a second term. Michael Jackson, Cindy Lauper, and others 0:06:46.720 --> 0:06:50.320 record We Are the World. In Brego Springs, Mary Fisher, 0:06:50.440 --> 0:06:54.160 twenty two, settles into married life. The honeymoon phase begins. 0:06:54.520 --> 0:06:57.560 Robert is a hero in her eyes and his A 0:06:57.640 --> 0:07:00.600 lean twenty three year old with brownish blonde hair, and 0:07:00.640 --> 0:07:06.000 blue eyes a firefighter. The honeymoon phase ends. Robert got 0:07:06.000 --> 0:07:09.000 what he wanted Mary, and then a friend tells me 0:07:09.240 --> 0:07:13.880 the costume came off. Isolated in rural California, Robert tightens 0:07:13.880 --> 0:07:18.440 his grip. He owns Mary. She's his wife. He's in control. 0:07:18.760 --> 0:07:22.000 Control is everything for Robert. It's how he shows the 0:07:22.040 --> 0:07:25.560 world himself that he's a man. It's how he deals 0:07:25.600 --> 0:07:29.120 with the anarchy outside. He can't control the world, fine, 0:07:29.480 --> 0:07:32.480 he can control his wife. He can build a domestic 0:07:32.560 --> 0:07:36.360 castle in which he alone is king. Yet even the 0:07:36.400 --> 0:07:40.880 best constructed castle has weak points. In January nineteen eighty five, 0:07:41.040 --> 0:07:44.320 the anarchy breaks in. This is when Robert injures his 0:07:44.440 --> 0:07:47.280 back on the job, a seed of chaos that will 0:07:47.280 --> 0:07:51.200 destroy him. He responds to a car accident. Someone flipped 0:07:51.240 --> 0:07:54.320 their car and rolled down a hill. Robert climbs down 0:07:54.520 --> 0:07:57.239 and pulls the victim out of the wreckage. He carries 0:07:57.280 --> 0:08:00.040 them up to the road, and in the process, he 0:08:00.040 --> 0:08:04.120 blows out multiple discs in his back. This dramatically affects 0:08:04.120 --> 0:08:07.600 his future. He needs spinal surgery. He can no longer 0:08:07.680 --> 0:08:10.600 do the job he loves. He reaches a settlement with 0:08:10.680 --> 0:08:14.600 the fire department medical retirement or workers comp or something 0:08:14.960 --> 0:08:18.840 so here. He is twenty three back injury, chronic pain, 0:08:19.120 --> 0:08:23.240 limited job options. He and Mary decide to return to Arizona, 0:08:23.520 --> 0:08:28.160 first Phoenix, then Scottsdale. Robert attends community college in nineteen 0:08:28.200 --> 0:08:31.600 eighty seven. He starts a new career as a respiratory therapist. 0:08:31.920 --> 0:08:34.679 He still gets to be a hero, kind of just 0:08:34.760 --> 0:08:38.160 standing at a hospital instead of racing into fires. He 0:08:38.240 --> 0:08:40.720 and Mary move into twenty two to twenty three north 0:08:40.800 --> 0:08:44.240 seventy fourth place in Scottsdale in January nineteen eighty eight, 0:08:44.600 --> 0:08:48.679 Newcastle fresh start. That April, Mary gives birth to their 0:08:48.679 --> 0:08:52.760 first child, Brittany, and in September nineteen ninety their second, Bobby. 0:08:53.200 --> 0:08:56.640 The late eighties and early nineties speedby with only one 0:08:56.640 --> 0:09:02.280 notable incident. Robert shoots a dog May eleventh, nineteen eighty nine. 0:09:02.600 --> 0:09:05.800 This account is based on police reports, interviews with neighbors, 0:09:05.840 --> 0:09:09.319 and details from the Arizona Republic. Around three PM, as 0:09:09.400 --> 0:09:12.120 Robert leaves for work, he sees a stray pit bull. 0:09:12.360 --> 0:09:17.240 It's beefy seventy pounds of muscle and growling. Robert's dog, Ruger, 0:09:17.400 --> 0:09:20.400 a black lab, runs to it. The pit bull strikes. 0:09:20.679 --> 0:09:24.400 The dogs fight. Robert runs inside, grabs a pistol and 0:09:24.440 --> 0:09:27.679 shoots the pit bull, which staggers off, leaving a trail 0:09:27.720 --> 0:09:31.440 of blood. Police and animal control show up. Robert says 0:09:31.440 --> 0:09:34.520 he has no regrets. The pit bull was killing Ruger 0:09:34.760 --> 0:09:37.120 and it was an imminent danger not only to kids 0:09:37.120 --> 0:09:39.760 on the street, but also kids at a nearby school 0:09:39.840 --> 0:09:42.480 about to let out for the day. Police and media 0:09:42.640 --> 0:09:45.240 later used this incident to paint Robert as a dog 0:09:45.280 --> 0:09:48.840 shooting psycho. In June two thousand and one, after the murders, 0:09:49.000 --> 0:09:51.760 police say Robert orchestrated the dog fight so he could 0:09:51.760 --> 0:09:55.079 shoot the pit bull, but that's not accurate or fair. 0:09:55.640 --> 0:09:58.559 One neighbor sees the pit bull, pulls his kids inside 0:09:58.600 --> 0:10:02.439 and calls nine one one before the shooting. Another Paul 0:10:02.640 --> 0:10:05.920 is home at the time, asleep. The commotion wakes him up. 0:10:06.160 --> 0:10:09.280 He goes outside ask Bob, what the heck's going on here? 0:10:09.520 --> 0:10:12.480 I mean it was self defense because that pitbull shreds 0:10:12.520 --> 0:10:12.959 his dog. 0:10:13.400 --> 0:10:16.719 The pit bull menaced the neighborhood for weeks. Combing through 0:10:16.760 --> 0:10:20.280 Fisher family videos, I find this clip from April twenty ninth, 0:10:20.320 --> 0:10:24.319 nineteen eighty nine, fifteen days before the shooting. Listen closely, 0:10:26.360 --> 0:10:29.480 like Robert, what does the pit bull look like? A 0:10:29.520 --> 0:10:32.680 little bit like a box of a little bit like 0:10:32.679 --> 0:10:37.400 a boxer, but thinner face dog. I'm scared to death 0:10:37.440 --> 0:10:40.240 of that dog, So I think we can safely say 0:10:40.360 --> 0:10:42.920 the pit bull was a credible threat. This is a 0:10:42.920 --> 0:10:45.160 great example of how a fact can be used to 0:10:45.200 --> 0:10:48.440 paint a misleading portrait. Which of the following is true 0:10:48.880 --> 0:10:51.959 man shoots pitbull to protect his dog and local children 0:10:52.400 --> 0:11:20.280 or unhinged maniac shoots dog. In December nineteen eighty nine, 0:11:20.360 --> 0:11:23.880 Hollywood releases a movie called Cha Devil forty eight percent 0:11:23.960 --> 0:11:28.480 on Rotten Tomatoes. Meryl Street plays Wait for It. Mary Fisher, 0:11:28.760 --> 0:11:31.760 a romance novelist who runs off with a guy named Bob. 0:11:32.160 --> 0:11:37.000 Roseanne Barr plays Bob's wife, Ruth. Ruth seeks revenge. Using 0:11:37.080 --> 0:11:40.079 gas as an accelerant, she blows up Bob's house in 0:11:40.120 --> 0:11:44.280 a massive explosion. I found this by accident while searching 0:11:44.320 --> 0:11:46.720 for an article on the pit bull shooting. I didn't 0:11:46.800 --> 0:11:50.079 understand at first why there were so many results for 0:11:50.360 --> 0:11:54.000 Mary Fisher and nineteen eighty nine. She Devil is about 0:11:54.040 --> 0:11:56.760 a woman who loses control and chooses to deal with 0:11:56.840 --> 0:12:00.160 it in a black comedy deranged way, I imagine, and 0:12:00.200 --> 0:12:03.760 it was cathartic for women to see violent retribution play 0:12:03.760 --> 0:12:07.240 out with the classic roles reversed. There's a bubbling anger 0:12:07.280 --> 0:12:11.920 out there, women beaten down literally and metaphorically, who just 0:12:12.000 --> 0:12:15.160 aren't gonna take it anymore. I once worked as an 0:12:15.240 --> 0:12:18.840 editor for Microsoft. I saw in real time which topics 0:12:18.880 --> 0:12:24.080 had max clickbait potential puppies, celebrities, sex, and wives killing 0:12:24.120 --> 0:12:27.200 their husbands. I put up something about a Pakistani woman 0:12:27.240 --> 0:12:29.400 who killed her husband and cooked him in a pot. 0:12:29.720 --> 0:12:33.360 She claimed he tried to molest their daughter. Headline wife 0:12:33.360 --> 0:12:37.240 cook's husband. My bosses were pissed, fair enough. Not a 0:12:37.320 --> 0:12:41.040 judgment call I would make today, but it did numbers anyway. 0:12:41.240 --> 0:12:45.559 The nineties the end of History, smash Mouth, Blockbuster, OJ, 0:12:46.040 --> 0:12:49.920 You've Got Mail. As the nineties progress, Robert Fisher's back 0:12:49.960 --> 0:12:52.840 pain worsens. In nineteen ninety nine, on the eve of 0:12:53.000 --> 0:12:56.000 Y two K, he sees a masseuse. At the time, 0:12:56.200 --> 0:12:59.080 the Phoenix Metro has a ton of massage parlors that 0:12:59.200 --> 0:13:03.120 are in fact front for prostitution. In April nineteen ninety nine, 0:13:03.120 --> 0:13:05.840 scott Steel police raid a parlor five minutes from the 0:13:05.840 --> 0:13:09.640 Fisher house. In November nineteen ninety nine, Masa police conduct 0:13:09.679 --> 0:13:12.520 a sting in which officers allow sex workers to touch 0:13:12.559 --> 0:13:16.280 their genitals. According to the Arizona Republic. In April two thousand, 0:13:16.480 --> 0:13:19.520 scott Steel police raid another parlor ten minutes from the 0:13:19.520 --> 0:13:24.199 Fisher House. It's unclear Robert knows he'll be offered sex. Nonetheless, 0:13:24.200 --> 0:13:26.840 in nineteen ninety nine, he and a masseuse have a 0:13:26.880 --> 0:13:30.199 sexual encounter at a hotel five minutes from the Fisher house. 0:13:31.080 --> 0:13:34.040 This is a pivotal moment in his demise. The House 0:13:34.040 --> 0:13:38.160 of Fisher falls faster now. We previously reported that Robert 0:13:38.200 --> 0:13:40.319 may have had an affair with a co worker in 0:13:40.360 --> 0:13:43.800 the mid nineties. Even if true, Mary never finds out 0:13:43.840 --> 0:13:46.640 about it. She does find out about this one though. 0:13:46.920 --> 0:13:50.400 In August nineteen ninety nine, Robert writes her a letter confessing. 0:13:50.840 --> 0:13:54.439 He expresses remorse and says he understands if she wants 0:13:54.440 --> 0:13:57.520 to separate. He tells her he's leaving for thirty days, 0:13:57.600 --> 0:13:59.000 retreating to a cabin. 0:13:58.720 --> 0:13:59.240 In the woods. 0:13:59.640 --> 0:14:01.960 He can that if she does want to break up, 0:14:02.080 --> 0:14:06.600 he's going to commit suicide. This is about fidelity, not sex. 0:14:06.920 --> 0:14:10.320 But sex has been problematic for the Fishers. Robert wants 0:14:10.360 --> 0:14:13.960 it every single day. Mary doesn't. I could see at eighteen, 0:14:14.240 --> 0:14:17.000 but at forty, her friend tells police, who wants to 0:14:17.080 --> 0:14:19.880 have sex every day? Robert just wants to prove that 0:14:19.960 --> 0:14:25.080 he can. Mary says. Mary doesn't enjoy it, quote dishes laundry. Sex. 0:14:25.440 --> 0:14:28.240 But it's not a big deal, she says, quote just 0:14:28.360 --> 0:14:31.360 ky jelly and five minutes. She wants to be a 0:14:31.360 --> 0:14:34.680 good wife. Sex is quote a small price to pay. 0:14:35.360 --> 0:14:39.360 Robert has always felt insecure and inadequate. He tells a 0:14:39.360 --> 0:14:42.160 friend he married up. He's trying to prove he's a man, 0:14:42.440 --> 0:14:45.360 but he can't please his wife. Sex with Robert is 0:14:45.400 --> 0:14:49.200 a five minute chore. Robert needs to prove he's a man, though, 0:14:49.440 --> 0:14:52.920 He takes supplements to boost his testosterone. According to his 0:14:52.960 --> 0:14:54.040 friend Jim Rodin. 0:14:53.920 --> 0:14:56.600 Whether it was the creatine or whatever supplement, he goes, 0:14:56.640 --> 0:14:59.360 you know, just gives you that boost a testosterone to 0:14:59.480 --> 0:15:02.960 piss you law to push the bar up one more frickin' time. 0:15:03.160 --> 0:15:06.680 So he had that kind of whoah, tough guy that 0:15:06.760 --> 0:15:09.600 he loved, loved to foster in him. 0:15:09.720 --> 0:15:13.160 Another friend, Ken tells police that Robert has a quote 0:15:13.200 --> 0:15:17.200 sexual problem a wandering eye. A third says Robert struggled 0:15:17.240 --> 0:15:21.600 with porn during his navy days. Temptation in nineteen ninety nine, 0:15:21.680 --> 0:15:25.640 if not earlier. Robert succumbs. He confesses that infidelity to 0:15:25.720 --> 0:15:28.440 Mary and takes time off work. He drives to a 0:15:28.440 --> 0:15:31.440 cabin on Hawley Lake, four hours away, and he waits 0:15:31.440 --> 0:15:34.960 for Mary to reach out to him. Instead, she ignores him. 0:15:35.200 --> 0:15:38.320 This is not going to plan. He's not in control. 0:15:38.880 --> 0:15:41.120 He calls her, asking her to come up to the lake. 0:15:41.440 --> 0:15:45.400 She consults his friend Ken, a pastor. Fearing for her safety, 0:15:45.520 --> 0:15:49.280 Ken advises her not to go. Mary stays in Scottsdale. 0:15:49.760 --> 0:15:53.440 Three days later, Robert comes home. He apologizes, He buys 0:15:53.440 --> 0:15:56.760 her a ring. He seems to feel genuine remorse, but 0:15:56.840 --> 0:15:59.960 he's also practical. He knows he's on the edge of divorce, 0:16:00.520 --> 0:16:03.320 so he seeks help from friends, from God. 0:16:03.480 --> 0:16:07.880 He felt terrible. Jim Rodin felt dirty, felt condemned his 0:16:08.120 --> 0:16:11.760 childhood faith and the conscience that it developed. He knew 0:16:11.760 --> 0:16:13.760 that he was dirty and caught. He knew that it 0:16:13.760 --> 0:16:16.560 could cost him his marriage. He knew that it could 0:16:16.600 --> 0:16:18.600 severely damage his children. 0:16:19.440 --> 0:16:22.840 What follows is a false spring Robert attends to hers 0:16:22.960 --> 0:16:27.560 religiously and participates weekly in immen's ministry. For the first time, 0:16:27.840 --> 0:16:31.320 Mary sees this stubborn man make an effort to change himself, 0:16:31.680 --> 0:16:33.040 not her or the world. 0:16:33.240 --> 0:16:36.200 There was a season there where Mary was thankful and 0:16:36.240 --> 0:16:40.080 stunned at the quality of person she saw he could be, 0:16:40.400 --> 0:16:43.280 And for about a year the marriage began to thrive. 0:16:43.560 --> 0:16:48.320 Robert was even reading the scriptures to his kids. Somewhere 0:16:48.320 --> 0:16:51.400 in there, something changed. He started to drift again. 0:16:52.040 --> 0:16:55.440 By October two thousand, six months before the murders, a 0:16:55.560 --> 0:17:00.240 switch flips. Everyone notices a shift in Robert's behavior. Holl's 0:17:00.240 --> 0:17:03.040 a coworker that he's in pain. His back is hurting again, 0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:06.879 making matters worse. In November nineteen ninety nine, he also 0:17:07.000 --> 0:17:10.040 injured his knee while playing football in a park. Robert 0:17:10.160 --> 0:17:14.919 quote Tor Stuff, a friend says October two thousand, Robert 0:17:14.920 --> 0:17:18.960 William Fisher, aged thirty nine, in pain. But nothing can 0:17:19.040 --> 0:17:22.560 control him, damn it, not even his health. He goes hunting. 0:17:22.840 --> 0:17:25.120 On the way he spots an elk on the side 0:17:25.160 --> 0:17:27.919 of the road. He gets out and shoots it. He 0:17:27.960 --> 0:17:30.000 guts it and tries to load it into the bed 0:17:30.040 --> 0:17:33.600 of his truck, but he can't. His pain is in control, 0:17:33.840 --> 0:17:37.879 not him. Mary confides to friends, including Mary Beth Rodin, 0:17:38.119 --> 0:17:40.960 that she's scared and so is Robert, because. 0:17:40.680 --> 0:17:43.160 He was facing potential surgery for his back. 0:17:43.800 --> 0:17:48.040 This terrifies Robert. He's worried surgery will paralyze him, and 0:17:48.080 --> 0:17:51.199 he knows a paralyzed life is a difficult life. His 0:17:51.359 --> 0:17:54.640 close friend, a neighbor, was paralyzed in a freak accident. 0:17:55.000 --> 0:17:57.919 One day, Robert sees this man fall out of a chair. 0:17:58.119 --> 0:18:00.199 He has to help the man's son lift him on up. 0:18:00.520 --> 0:18:04.080 He later says, quote, it was like deadlifting four hundred pounds. 0:18:04.680 --> 0:18:07.720 So what should Robert do? He's in pain, but he's 0:18:07.720 --> 0:18:12.800 petrified of surgery, of paralysis, career ending disability, total loss 0:18:12.800 --> 0:18:17.320 of control. He starts to withdraw from church, friends, the gym. 0:18:17.600 --> 0:18:21.119 In December two thousand, he stops working out. He's constantly 0:18:21.240 --> 0:18:26.240 popping pills, percocet, Perkidan, ballium. He seems to be addicted. 0:18:26.600 --> 0:18:29.439 Friends later question whether or not his pill habit affects 0:18:29.520 --> 0:18:31.640 his mental state. In the lead up to the murders, 0:18:32.640 --> 0:18:34.880 let me pause for a second and talk about pain. 0:18:35.320 --> 0:18:38.199 In twenty eighteen, I had two failed root canals that 0:18:38.320 --> 0:18:41.760 left me in pain for months, facial pain, nerve pain. 0:18:42.119 --> 0:18:44.960 I lost feeling in part of my tongue, It affected 0:18:44.960 --> 0:18:48.200 my speech. No doctor would help me. They all thought 0:18:48.200 --> 0:18:51.920 I wanted pills, which I didn't. I remember sitting at 0:18:51.960 --> 0:18:56.439 home watching daytime TV. Is there anything more depressing? So 0:18:56.560 --> 0:19:01.040 many pain commercials, all targeting people like me. Nothing instills 0:19:01.080 --> 0:19:04.600 a greater appreciation for a normal, boring life than an 0:19:04.640 --> 0:19:08.720 extended period of pain. Thankfully, I found an amazing dentist 0:19:08.760 --> 0:19:11.960 and a talented oral surgeon. I got better. But what 0:19:12.040 --> 0:19:15.080 about the people who don't, The people with unsolvable pain, 0:19:15.400 --> 0:19:18.520 Kurt Cobain and his stomach, Robert Fischer and his back. 0:19:18.840 --> 0:19:22.600 We can't just tell them to avoid drugs and suffer. Thankfully, 0:19:22.680 --> 0:19:24.320 we seem to be at the dawn of a new 0:19:24.359 --> 0:19:28.320 golden age of medicine, driven in part by AI. In January, 0:19:28.480 --> 0:19:32.240 a Boston company announced an experimental drug VX five four 0:19:32.320 --> 0:19:35.600 eight that appears highly effective in relieving certain types of 0:19:35.640 --> 0:19:39.760 acute pain. Scientists are also developing stem cell treatments and 0:19:39.960 --> 0:19:44.560 experimental nerve stimulation devices. It's alluring to consider the impact 0:19:44.640 --> 0:19:48.600 this kind of innovation might have on society. Maybe somewhere soon, 0:19:48.880 --> 0:19:52.160 a musician with stomach pain chooses to live a father 0:19:52.240 --> 0:20:04.520 with back pain doesn't spiral into murder. If you like 0:20:04.640 --> 0:20:07.919 this show, please download our first two seasons, Missing in 0:20:07.960 --> 0:20:10.800 Alaska and Missing on nine to eleven. For updates, visit 0:20:10.880 --> 0:20:13.479 neon thirty three dot com or follow me on Twitter 0:20:13.600 --> 0:20:19.200 at John Waalzac jo N wal Czak. Thanks for listening. 0:20:35.200 --> 0:20:38.399 December two thousand, Robert gets sick with what he says 0:20:38.520 --> 0:20:42.960 is either a urinary tract infection UTI or prostatitis. Police 0:20:43.080 --> 0:20:46.560 later speculate that he actually caught a sexually transmitted infection 0:20:46.880 --> 0:20:50.159 or STI, which would indicate he cheated on Mary again, 0:20:50.440 --> 0:20:54.320 which would likely lead her to divorce him. January two 0:20:54.359 --> 0:20:57.359 thousand and one. Mary complains to Robert that he's letting 0:20:57.440 --> 0:21:01.240 himself go. His muscle tone is down. Maybe this seems 0:21:01.320 --> 0:21:04.440 mean given his back pain, but not when you consider 0:21:04.560 --> 0:21:08.000 how he treats Mary, dictating how many slices of pizza 0:21:08.080 --> 0:21:10.800 she can have, locking her out of the house, forcing 0:21:10.840 --> 0:21:13.480 her to walk because he doesn't want a fat wife. 0:21:13.800 --> 0:21:16.320 In that context, I say to Mary, good for you. 0:21:16.800 --> 0:21:21.240 It's an example of Mary's standing up for herself. January twentieth. 0:21:21.520 --> 0:21:26.480 George W. Bush is inaugurated president. January twenty seventh. Robert 0:21:26.560 --> 0:21:30.160 pawns an expensive nine millimeter handgun for a lesser quality 0:21:30.240 --> 0:21:33.400 thirty eight. This is the thirty eight that'll disappear after 0:21:33.440 --> 0:21:36.240 the murders. Do me a favor if you own one. 0:21:36.520 --> 0:21:39.760 Check the serial number. We're looking for a snubnose five 0:21:39.800 --> 0:21:43.880 shot thirty eight serial number CEC four nine two four 0:21:44.400 --> 0:21:49.720 CEC four nine two four. February two thousand and one, 0:21:50.160 --> 0:21:52.760 Mary's friend who doesn't want to be named, visits and 0:21:52.840 --> 0:21:56.159 stays with the Fishers. She sees Robert popping pills and 0:21:56.200 --> 0:21:59.080 tells him he needs to schedule back surgery. He says 0:21:59.119 --> 0:22:01.639 he's scared that if he he does, he'll end up paralyzed. 0:22:02.560 --> 0:22:06.320 February fifteenth, Robert speaks to his dad for the final time. 0:22:07.320 --> 0:22:11.200 Late February or early March, Robert visits Don's Sports Shop 0:22:11.280 --> 0:22:15.520 in Scottsdale, a storewear Over the years, he's purchased rifles, ammo, 0:22:15.640 --> 0:22:19.280 and camping gear. It's unclear what he buys today, if anything. 0:22:20.400 --> 0:22:23.840 March two thousand and one, Robert and his friend Ashley's arsty, 0:22:24.040 --> 0:22:27.280 their spouses and their kids spend a weekend together at 0:22:27.280 --> 0:22:30.800 a cabin near Whispering Pines, ninety miles north of Scottsdale. 0:22:31.119 --> 0:22:34.920 Robert drinks bourbon, chews tobacco, and teaches Ashley's young son 0:22:35.040 --> 0:22:38.399 how to fish. He and Mary seem normal. However, not 0:22:38.480 --> 0:22:41.520 long after the trip, Ashley hears a rumor that Robert 0:22:41.560 --> 0:22:45.560 isn't coming home. Some nights sometime in March, Robert attends 0:22:45.600 --> 0:22:49.080 a parent teacher conference at Suppie Middle School with Miss Honey, 0:22:49.200 --> 0:22:52.720 Britney's social studies and math teacher. Mary doesn't attend. 0:22:53.040 --> 0:22:56.080 So we were on the ESL block English as a 0:22:56.119 --> 0:23:00.399 Second Language. We had multi lingual students, Spanish. I had 0:23:00.400 --> 0:23:03.720 a rocky student and during that parentidge conference I was 0:23:03.720 --> 0:23:06.720 talking to him and I was explaining her grades in 0:23:06.760 --> 0:23:09.520 my class and what we were doing. And then he said, 0:23:09.680 --> 0:23:12.359 why is she in these classes with these immigrants or 0:23:12.480 --> 0:23:15.399 these Mexicans? And I said, this is the English as 0:23:15.440 --> 0:23:17.440 a Second Language blob, why is she there. I don't 0:23:17.440 --> 0:23:19.600 want her. I want her moved, I want her way 0:23:19.640 --> 0:23:23.159 from those And I remember being very off put by that. 0:23:23.640 --> 0:23:26.199 Miss Honey is later the second to last person to 0:23:26.240 --> 0:23:30.600 see and speak with Robert, hours before the murders March fifth, 0:23:30.960 --> 0:23:34.400 a fifteen year old gunman shoots and kills two classmates 0:23:34.440 --> 0:23:38.160 and injures eleven others plus two staffers at Santana High 0:23:38.160 --> 0:23:43.240 School in Sante, California. March tenth, one month until the murders, 0:23:43.560 --> 0:23:47.520 Bobby Junior participates in the Iwana Olympics, a Christian sporting event, 0:23:47.640 --> 0:23:51.119 with friends including Brock Anderson. Brock sends me a photo 0:23:51.160 --> 0:23:54.080 of him, Bobby, and eleven other boys standing in a 0:23:54.080 --> 0:23:57.880 group in red T shirts wearing medals. Some make funny faces, 0:23:58.000 --> 0:24:03.080 some look away. Bobby stares directly at the camera. March fourteenth, 0:24:03.480 --> 0:24:08.320 Robert Phil's prescriptions for perkindan an opioid painkiller, diazepam, an 0:24:08.320 --> 0:24:13.840 anxiety medication, Celebrex, an anti inflammatory drug, and cyclo benzaprene, 0:24:13.960 --> 0:24:18.640 a muscle relaxant. Sometime mid to late March, Mary's friend 0:24:18.720 --> 0:24:21.840 Kim Davidson stops by the Fisher House unannounced. 0:24:22.040 --> 0:24:24.560 I was off work for some reason, so I decided 0:24:24.600 --> 0:24:26.600 to just go pop in and visit her. At first, 0:24:26.600 --> 0:24:28.440 I went by the Bible study that we would have 0:24:28.480 --> 0:24:31.280 been at had I not been working, and everyone said 0:24:31.320 --> 0:24:33.479 she didn't show up that day, which is very unusual 0:24:33.480 --> 0:24:36.160 because she was always there, and so I ran over 0:24:36.200 --> 0:24:37.960 to by her house see if she was sick or something. 0:24:38.080 --> 0:24:42.280 She answered the door and was almost nervous. She didn't 0:24:42.280 --> 0:24:44.960