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Speaker 1: Hello, what's up therapy cable?

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Speaker 2: Hi?

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Speaker 3: What's your name? Good sir?

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Speaker 1: Uh? My name is Willy.

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Speaker 3: Willy.

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Speaker 1: Yes, so w I Willy.

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Speaker 3: What's up Willy?

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Speaker 4: How you doing today today?

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Speaker 1: I'm pretty doing pretty well today. We'll not too bad,

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Speaker 1: but they honestly, well, it's well gish, but you know, Saturday,

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Speaker 1: not too bad.

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Speaker 3: How I feeling today? Am I cool? Am I blessed?

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Speaker 5: You know?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: I mean I should be right, I should be I

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Speaker 4: think I should be blessed. I'm too I'm I think

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Speaker 4: I'm coming to the realization that I'm just I'm just

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Speaker 4: a neurotic guy. And I've wondered, I'm like, can I

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Speaker 4: change that about myself? Can I become a different thing

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Speaker 4: than who I am?

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Speaker 5: Or am?

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Speaker 3: I just kind of.

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Speaker 4: Bound because I was looking through journals that I'd written

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Speaker 4: like seven years ago, and truthfully, the way that my

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Speaker 4: brain operates and the way that the things I've wanted

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Speaker 4: out of life and the way in which I've operated

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Speaker 4: in life have actually remained relatively consistent over the past,

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Speaker 4: like as long as I've you know, even been keeping

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Speaker 4: records of those things, and even you know, before the

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Speaker 4: records I think about, you know, when I was a

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Speaker 4: child and whatnot. And I've always been adventurous and entrepreneurial

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Speaker 4: and deeply neurotic and anxious.

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Speaker 3: And part of me thinks if I've been that way my.

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Speaker 4: Whole life, I think I think might be that way forever.

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Speaker 3: But I don't. I don't know.

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Speaker 4: It's been both a blessing and a curse to me.

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Speaker 4: And like you know, I mean I I've thought about

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Speaker 4: like my life before and after starting this podcast, and

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Speaker 4: you know, I'll read journals from twenty nineteen, and you know,

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Speaker 4: I'm anxious. And I think if you had told me

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Speaker 4: writing those journals in twenty nineteen that externally, a lot

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Speaker 4: of the things that you're anxious about won't be present, right,

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Speaker 4: they won't be present. You would think, Okay, that's where

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Speaker 4: the anxiety stops. But then I'll read a journal from

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Speaker 4: a week ago, and the anxiety is still there.

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Speaker 3: It's so I think that.

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Speaker 4: I might just have this kind of permanent neurotic personality

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Speaker 4: that I would like to learn how to mitigate.

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Speaker 3: But I don't know. I don't know if it's possible.

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Speaker 4: I don't know if people just kind of are the

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Speaker 4: way that they are, or if they can I think

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Speaker 4: a lot of things have evolved, but yeah, it's just

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Speaker 4: been a very consistent way. So that's that's my answer

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Speaker 4: to how I'm doing and what I'm thinking about. If

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Speaker 4: you wanted the honest answer from me.

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Speaker 1: Hey I did honest, sweet, that was pretty I don't

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Speaker 1: very straightforward to the answer. I like that, you know,

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Speaker 1: and journal and doon like doing the journal thing. I

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Speaker 1: don't journal people that tell me to things like that,

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Speaker 1: but hire listening and I've been listening for you for

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Speaker 1: a while now, and like setting people journal as well,

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Speaker 1: and you like, I never got the like the concept

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Speaker 1: of actually like journaling your thoughts out people. People say

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Speaker 1: it helps things like that, which I see it does

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Speaker 1: for you as well. And I'm like like like like

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Speaker 1: what like like what type of things that actually want

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Speaker 1: to need?

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Speaker 6: You?

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Speaker 1: Like, it's like it's the journal. Is the journal there

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Speaker 1: for just for it, like for your help, that's it.

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Speaker 1: Write down your thoughts, you'll you'll your fears and ship

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Speaker 1: your fears and shit like that. You know, I never

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Speaker 1: get right by the grasp of the whole conflict is

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Speaker 1: writing it down? You know.

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Speaker 4: Well, I'll well I'm sorry, no, no, well, I was gonna say,

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Speaker 4: I I mean I usually I use my notes app

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Speaker 4: and I just uh put the date and I just

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Speaker 4: let it rip. And a lot of the times I

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Speaker 4: use it for like kind of getting all my thoughts

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Speaker 4: out there, and I also use it for like recording events,

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Speaker 4: like you know, here's what happens to me, and here's

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Speaker 4: how I'm feeling about it, and here's I Also, I

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Speaker 4: slightly believe in manifestation in the sense of like what

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Speaker 4: you constantly think about it becomes how you act through

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Speaker 4: the world, and how you act through the world kind

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Speaker 4: of uh, you know, does inform your external reality. So

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Speaker 4: I think there's a little bit of manifestation in there

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Speaker 4: of like consistently kind of writing down the things that

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Speaker 4: you want in the directions that you want to go down.

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Speaker 4: I mean, have you ever have you ever tried sitting

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Speaker 4: down to journal?

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Speaker 6: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I did, Yeah, I tried it. I tried everyone. I

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Speaker 1: try like every once in a while, you know, when

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Speaker 1: when when things become like a little bit overwhelming in

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Speaker 1: my life and something like that, and like it it.

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Speaker 5: It helps, But at the same time, I'm like, I'm

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Speaker 5: like i feel like I'm just right back where I

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Speaker 5: was at first when I get them, when I before

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Speaker 5: I jiggled and down stuff like that.

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Speaker 1: Yes, but then again like on the backhand, it's works,

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Speaker 1: you know, It's just it helps a little bit, a

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Speaker 1: little bit, not too much, but a little bit.

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Speaker 4: What what you're what you're describing is my general frustration

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Speaker 4: with both therapy and journaling, which is like, great, I

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Speaker 4: talked about all this, but you know, I'm still fucking here,

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Speaker 4: you know, right, Yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 3: So I understand.

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Speaker 4: I understand that frustration, but I think it's been better.

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Speaker 4: I'm glad I did it. I helps me, especially because

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Speaker 4: I've done it over like a long period of time,

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Speaker 4: I can kind of recognize patterns. And also, you, I

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Speaker 4: think you kind of tend to look at life through

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Speaker 4: rose colored glasses or you know, look at yeah, look

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Speaker 4: at like previous times in your life. When you journal,

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Speaker 4: you get to see every You get to see your

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Speaker 4: life for what it really is. Because I can go

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Speaker 4: I can think, oh, maybe a year ago I was

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Speaker 4: doing this, I was happier, I was feeling this way.

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Speaker 4: But then you go back and you read the journal

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Speaker 4: and you're like, well, actually, in that very moment I was.

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Speaker 3: I was feeling.

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Speaker 4: Not as good as I look back upon the memory,

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Speaker 4: and it also works differently.

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Speaker 5: You know.

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Speaker 4: You can you can look back at like times when

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Speaker 4: you're like, oh, that fucking sucked, but then be like, oh,

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Speaker 4: maybe it wasn't as bad as I thought it was

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Speaker 4: because I have the actual recording of my emotions in

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Speaker 4: that period of time.

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Speaker 1: See not so no so now so now now you know,

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Speaker 1: like I'm going to go back on my concruiter. I

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Speaker 1: see what's like, I had a couple I say, a

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Speaker 1: year are you I'm sorry? A year or two ago?

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Speaker 1: You know, got me thinking about that I might do that.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, but like cause two years ago or

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Speaker 1: a year ago I was a high probably you know,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, got me thinking about that.

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Speaker 4: Man, I I like, will Willie let me ask you something? Yeah,

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Speaker 4: I know, I've been kind of rambling and using this

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Speaker 4: podcast for therapy, which is a funny thing to do.

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Speaker 4: But is there anything in particular that you called in

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Speaker 4: to want to talk about today? If not, it's cool,

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Speaker 4: we can just shoot the ship.

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Speaker 1: I see, Because Okay, when I first tried to call

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Speaker 1: you the first time, like everyone else on this bonus

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Speaker 1: platform for you know, I was what I was going

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Speaker 1: through a rough patch in my life at that moment,

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Speaker 1: which is which I'm still is. But well I'm not well,

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Speaker 1: not really but kind of you know, And I was

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Speaker 1: trying to call it in, you know, just get some

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Speaker 1: not feedback or well feedback or just like some clarification

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Speaker 1: shing like that, or just let that shout out, you know.

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Speaker 1: But now I'm doing pretty okay. And when I say

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Speaker 1: pretty okay, I mean like health wives, you know, no,

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Speaker 1: you know, yeah, just health wives and say that just

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Speaker 1: health stuff like that. Because two years ago, I was

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Speaker 1: two years ago, I got diagnosed with i l D.

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Speaker 1: And il D is a instant I can into the

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Speaker 1: work correctly, ancesticial lung disease, which I believe it would.

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Speaker 1: I believe it. I believe it would runs it. I

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Speaker 1: believe it would run in my family because my sister

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Speaker 1: had it and she had got a transplant and now

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Speaker 1: she's doing okay with it without option. But now I

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Speaker 1: have it, and I'm an option at this moment. Twenty

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Speaker 1: four seven, and that was and I got diagnosed with

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Speaker 1: that two years ago. But h h, I say a

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Speaker 1: year ago, Well, yeah, a year ago. Now I'm still

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Speaker 1: doing it, which is kind of fucking wild to me,

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Speaker 1: because they had progress to where it's like and like

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Speaker 1: like like like like fucking uh and reversible, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: what the fuck? I thought I was doing everything I was.

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Speaker 1: I thought I was doing everything I was supposed to

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Speaker 1: be doing, you know, but looked like I wasn't. So

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Speaker 1: now I'm so now I'm here, uh a lung disease

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Speaker 1: h off writers blood clock and blood blood cloud and

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Speaker 1: the lungs, Like the fuck is going on here?

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Speaker 6: Then?

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Speaker 1: Then diabetes on top of that I ain't having at first,

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Speaker 1: but when I left the hospital, I'm that shit craziest

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Speaker 1: for then. Now I'm just sitting here for you know,

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Speaker 1: you know, just chilling, trying to see what was going on.

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Speaker 1: I'm doing a little bit exercises every once in a

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Speaker 1: while with tu longs to going to physical therapy, not

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Speaker 1: going to therapy theory, but like you know, primonary therapy

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Speaker 1: type ship do you feel me? And but but at

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Speaker 1: this moment, I'm doing pretty okay and like, but like

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Speaker 1: it can be draining. It can be draining, like just mentally,

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Speaker 1: like emotionally like that because you will see all these

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Speaker 1: stories about people you know, recovering being don't recovering and

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Speaker 1: stuff like that, and like they'd be like, ah, these

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Speaker 1: five years to live. I'm like, how the fuck is

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Speaker 1: five years to live? And I was like, had got

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Speaker 1: ten years and they dealt with this whole thing. I'm

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Speaker 1: just chilling. I'm like, oh, okay, cool, cool, whatever. Now

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Speaker 1: I just found this woman on Instagram where you know

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Speaker 1: she's doing She's doing pretty well, but she's an option.

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Speaker 1: She had the same she has the same thing I have,

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Speaker 1: but like a little bit probably a little bit more probably,

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Speaker 1: but she's off her pills and stuff like that. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: oh okay, but she's still a oxygen and she's on

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Speaker 1: a list for a launch transplay, which they have suggested

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Speaker 1: that to me, and I'm like, yeah, i don't want

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Speaker 1: to do that, even though I've seen the effects, which

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Speaker 1: is the effects is okay, you know, the whole thing

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Speaker 1: with it, it's okay. It's just the fact that I

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Speaker 1: have to like go through a certain period of where

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Speaker 1: someone has to cut me open trip put a whole

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Speaker 1: new set of loans in me, and you for me,

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Speaker 1: I have to rebreathe again, which I'm trying to rebreathe now,

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Speaker 1: which is crazy to me.

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Speaker 4: You're learning, you're learning how to rebreathe.

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Speaker 1: Basically. Yeah, So it's like, okay, so you know how

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Speaker 1: you like, you don't even know it, but you do it,

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Speaker 1: like you walk in and talk here. Yeah yeah, you're

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Speaker 1: like you walking and talking and it don't pay no

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Speaker 1: mass to it, right right, you know when when you

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Speaker 1: walk in and it's like it ain't nothing. But with

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Speaker 1: like with me, I have to I have to constantly

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Speaker 1: focus on breathing basically, not the constantly, but like I

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Speaker 1: have to like basically take take take steps a little

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Speaker 1: bit slower than usual people take it, you know, because

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Speaker 1: at one point you will be at one point you

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Speaker 1: will be just chill. You be at one point you

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Speaker 1: will be just chilling, walk at your stroller the lord. Nextly,

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Speaker 1: you know, your option dropped to like eighty damn are

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Speaker 1: seventy five? I don't I don't even want to go

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Speaker 1: that five. I'm gonna say eighty five, you know, spouts

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Speaker 1: and drop to eight eighty five You don't even know it,

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Speaker 1: but you could feel your heart rate and you have.

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Speaker 1: Then then you can hear like your brother breathing mad

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Speaker 1: heavy and stuff like that. Then you'll start to feel

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Speaker 1: light here and I'm like, what is going on? So

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Speaker 1: so that's like that you know, some like people with

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Speaker 1: you know lungs that have like full capacity of five.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's okay, even even when they're talking, they

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Speaker 1: had a ninety five. So I'm like, all right, cool,

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Speaker 1: I understand that part. Then like then they then they

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Speaker 1: put you in well the partonary theory where you could

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Speaker 1: build your lungs back up. They vide your lungs back up,

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Speaker 1: you know, which they consist of a premire walking viking. Uh,

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Speaker 1: let's see breathing in and out, you know, doing exercises,

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Speaker 1: like doing breathing exercises one. Uh, just on you're like

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Speaker 1: just like sitting up straight, work and leaving inside to side,

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Speaker 1: breathing like over your over the orange type ship, you know,

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Speaker 1: breathing like like like they try to open and like

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Speaker 1: your lungs up a little bit more like stretch it,

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Speaker 1: like to stretch your chests basically. So like that's what like,

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Speaker 1: you know, trying to breathe again. That's that's that's what

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Speaker 1: I mean basically, And now I'm doing pretty good. You know.

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Speaker 1: It's a cruise struggles.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's how crazy learning how to breathe. You know,

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Speaker 4: it's crazy how many things we just do that we

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Speaker 4: don't even like think about, you.

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Speaker 1: Know, right, you know, and it's kind of wild to

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Speaker 1: me because at first, you know, I was like partying,

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Speaker 1: you know, smoking, drinking all this stuff. I drink every

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Speaker 1: once in a while, but not like you know, heavy

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Speaker 1: like I was before. You know, when I said I

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Speaker 1: was drinking, I was drinking healthy. God damnum, what were

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Speaker 1: you brought an alcoholics?

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Speaker 3: What were you doing when you were partying?

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Speaker 1: Like like not okay, okay, not not too crazy for me,

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Speaker 1: just like we a little bit posh every once in

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Speaker 1: a while. Like uh, when I say posh, I mean

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Speaker 1: like the eat cigarettes and ship like that. You know,

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Speaker 1: the key with all that shit I want like I

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Speaker 1: want doing crack cocaine, no hearing, no fucking fucking psychedelics,

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Speaker 1: which I want what I did once before. I did

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Speaker 1: a psychedelics once before. But I so not that I was

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Speaker 1: so cool.

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Speaker 4: So Willy, let me ask well, let me ask you

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Speaker 4: a few things.

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Speaker 3: Are you Are you still partying at all?

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Speaker 2: Like?

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Speaker 4: What's your I actually, here's what I wanted to ask you.

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Speaker 4: It is like who are you, Willy? What's your what's

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Speaker 4: your what's your life?

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Speaker 7: Like?

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Speaker 3: Where do you? What do you do?

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Speaker 1: Well?

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Speaker 4: What part of what part of town do you live in?

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Speaker 4: You know, what's what's the day in Willy's life?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 1: Okay, okay, they will life. Okay, what I do right

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Speaker 1: now currently unemployed? You know, fucking the government. If you

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Speaker 1: ask me, I am h and I'm trying to well,

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to edit videos ship for YouTube, which I'll

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Speaker 1: go off and on with that on a daily basis,

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Speaker 1: on a daily day basis, try to scream, try to

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Speaker 1: stream on Twitch and stuff like that. And I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to get back into it, but I'll go

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Speaker 1: away for a couple of days, for a couple of months.

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Speaker 3: What do you what do you make? What do you

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Speaker 3: make videos about?

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Speaker 1: Basically like just you know gaming gaming videos like uh, Overwatch,

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Speaker 1: you know, uh, Call of Duty, Valeriant, you know, all

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Speaker 1: like type like type shooting games.

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Speaker 6: Uh.

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Speaker 1: New games. I just uh just just played. It's called

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Speaker 1: the Shadow of War. It's like, what's the name game?

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Speaker 1: It's like a.

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Speaker 5: Board.

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Speaker 1: Oh, it's like the Lord of the Rings game. It's

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Speaker 1: like that, but it's not that, but I still had

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Speaker 1: the same concept of that. You know, it's called Shadows

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Speaker 1: of War. Pretty good. It came out on the PS

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Speaker 1: four by have it on the PS five and I'm

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Speaker 1: kind of loving it right now. So it's like it's

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Speaker 1: like a one player game, you know, single player game.

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Speaker 1: Pretty fucking nice, loving it. I'm playing that ship not

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Speaker 1: daily no more, because I kind of reached I kind

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Speaker 1: of reached a level where I want to be up

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Speaker 1: to fucking control oak orcs and shit like that. So

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Speaker 1: I'm loving it.

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Speaker 3: Ah, yeah, okay, go ahead, Yeah yeah.

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Speaker 1: So if I ain't doing that, I'm basically taking walks,

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Speaker 1: taking walks every once in a while, going through going

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Speaker 1: to like tell a doctor's appointments and ship like that,

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Speaker 1: right for fucking like yeah, for my lungs, yeah for yeah,

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Speaker 1: for for auto the moon auto mune disease. I probably

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Speaker 1: have that too, But they ain't. They ain't coming around

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Speaker 1: to that. They still trying to figure out what the

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Speaker 1: fuck this will shit is. So, you know, boom, uh.

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Speaker 1: If I ain't doing that going to doctor's appointments and

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Speaker 1: stuff like that, h you know, chilling partying, I ain't

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Speaker 1: doing too much of that. I'm just chilling at home

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Speaker 1: and uh yeah, chilling out home in Chicago, you know,

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Speaker 1: trying to see what the next step is for me.

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Speaker 1: What's the best bet? Yeah, what's the best that I

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Speaker 1: could do for myself my lungs.

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Speaker 3: So what is what is that? What is that pondering?

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00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:00,280
Speaker 6: M hm?

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00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,639
Speaker 3: Where has it led to you? What is the best

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00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:03,920
Speaker 3: bet for you?

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00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:08,679
Speaker 1: The best bet right now? I feel that.

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00:18:11,359 --> 00:18:18,720
Speaker 5: Just like.

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00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:20,480
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, let it be like, the best bet

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00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:22,120
Speaker 1: right now for me is to go with the float

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00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:26,160
Speaker 1: like sit still, don't do like, don't don't do too much,

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00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:29,439
Speaker 1: but do enough where you're not fucking miserable. You know,

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00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:32,560
Speaker 1: you're not depressed, you're not sad type ship. You know,

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Speaker 1: don't yeah, don't wait from yeah, Yeah, that's for me.

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Speaker 1: You know I can't. I can I'm sorry. I can't

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Speaker 1: just sit now and just not do nothing anymore. At

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Speaker 1: first I did. At first, I did that. Don't get

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Speaker 1: me wrong.

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Speaker 6: I was.

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00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:51,399
Speaker 1: I was hell of the press. I'm talking. When I

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00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,600
Speaker 1: say hell with the person, I mean hell of the press. Ye,

351
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:56,040
Speaker 1: like I ain't like I want to say, not shower

352
00:18:56,800 --> 00:19:00,680
Speaker 1: probably like I'll take a shower every once once once

353
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Speaker 1: a week type ship. You know, Uh, don't sit in

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Speaker 1: my room. I don't sit down my room no more.

355
00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:08,360
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm out. I'm trying to get out, trying

356
00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:10,760
Speaker 1: to get out about even when I have a seat

357
00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:13,240
Speaker 1: ass option taint. I'm trying to get out and about.

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Speaker 1: You know, I'm trying to keep it moving, you know,

359
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:20,160
Speaker 1: hcause right now, like at first, it was it was

360
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Speaker 1: like it was it was when I found out that news.

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00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:25,080
Speaker 1: I was, I was, I was tellous that, you know,

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Speaker 1: I couldn't do nothing no more. I couldn't eat the

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Speaker 1: food that I won't eat no more. Well I could,

364
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,600
Speaker 1: but it gonna it gonna trying to lead down to

365
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:34,879
Speaker 1: the fuck up problems. But yeah, I can't do that

366
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Speaker 1: no more. Which I still do a little bit, but

367
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Speaker 1: not too much. I have a I have a buzz

368
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:42,720
Speaker 1: ball every once in a while, not too much, but you.

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Speaker 6: Know, a little bit.

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00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:48,360
Speaker 1: But you know, I'm just like like going, going, going

371
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Speaker 1: with the flow. Was talking about you know in dalven Lin.

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Speaker 1: I an't gonna need a fucking h They said, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna need a lung transport.

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Speaker 4: Yeah mm hm.

375
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Speaker 1: So I'm like, I don't want it, but if it

376
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Speaker 1: has to, I'll come down to it. And I'm like

377
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:08,280
Speaker 1: only twenty seven, right, yeah, and I sell. And I

378
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:10,119
Speaker 1: see a lot of people come in and out of

379
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:14,040
Speaker 1: like uh of the of the rehab center, you know,

380
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:18,120
Speaker 1: or prim and every center. I guess for your lung

381
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:19,840
Speaker 1: story that I see a lot of people come out

382
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Speaker 1: of there. You know, they don't get me wrong. They

383
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:26,280
Speaker 1: look they look pretty cool, they look okay, they look happy,

384
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,240
Speaker 1: they up and they moving. I see something. I see

385
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:32,879
Speaker 1: people in wheelchairs that's not moving at all. Yeah, And

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm like, they still like the smell. They

387
00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:38,160
Speaker 1: still too. I'm like, what not the fuck I gotta

388
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:41,359
Speaker 1: be said for right now? Why the fuck? Like I

389
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:42,440
Speaker 1: can't I can't do it.

390
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:43,360
Speaker 6: I can't do nothing else.

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00:20:43,359 --> 00:20:45,880
Speaker 1: So wait, you know, if ship, if shit get worse

392
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:50,600
Speaker 1: than what I'm doing, ship, God, damn, I can't do

393
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:54,000
Speaker 1: nothing but take my medicine, keep it moving. And that's

394
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Speaker 1: all you know I have because I have to figure

395
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:59,119
Speaker 1: that out for a while. And like people was asking me,

396
00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:02,480
Speaker 1: oh you at well, I've seen you wild. You don't

397
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:06,160
Speaker 1: come around no more? Or like, uh, will you don't

398
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:08,320
Speaker 1: to me? You don't come, you don't come and hang

399
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:09,679
Speaker 1: out with us no more. You don't drink with us

400
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:10,359
Speaker 1: no more? Why is that?

401
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:10,680
Speaker 2: Man?

402
00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:13,600
Speaker 1: Oh ship, Willie, I ain't see you in a game

403
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:16,880
Speaker 1: no more? Like because man, I'm trying to like, I'll

404
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,919
Speaker 1: be gone for like I say, tax months tops and

405
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,760
Speaker 1: trying to get my I'm trying to I'm trying to

406
00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:25,240
Speaker 1: wrap my head a lot of like like just trying

407
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:27,080
Speaker 1: to wrap my head a lot around like a lot

408
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:30,960
Speaker 1: of ship, you know, and like some people understand it.

409
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,399
Speaker 1: Some people don't, don't, get me wrong. But at the

410
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:36,639
Speaker 1: same time, like when I feel like when life is

411
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:39,560
Speaker 1: you like that, I just you have I feel like

412
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:42,760
Speaker 1: people you have to step away and re evaluate yourself

413
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:45,120
Speaker 1: for a bit, because that's that's and that's what I did.

414
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:48,560
Speaker 1: You know. I still I steel step away too. I

415
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:52,240
Speaker 1: still step away from time to time, but because at times,

416
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:56,439
Speaker 1: you know, it do get hard, they do. But at

417
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:57,800
Speaker 1: the same time, mm.

418
00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:01,960
Speaker 4: Hmm, yo, really no, it's I was I listened, Will,

419
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,760
Speaker 4: I was gonna say, I appreciate you sharing all this

420
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:04,160
Speaker 4: with us.

421
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:04,359
Speaker 6: Uh.

422
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:09,760
Speaker 4: You know it's definitely, uh, you know, an inspiring thing

423
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:13,280
Speaker 4: to fucking keep going after all, uh, you know, after

424
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:18,680
Speaker 4: having to learn how to rebreathe I will, I'll say

425
00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:20,840
Speaker 4: this man before we go. Uh. Do you want to

426
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:23,280
Speaker 4: give a plug out to your to your YouTube or

427
00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:23,879
Speaker 4: to your twitch?

428
00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:25,920
Speaker 6: Sure?

429
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:31,359
Speaker 1: Yes, my twitch is Wilster tv w I L L

430
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:37,200
Speaker 1: L S t E R W I L l S

431
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:43,640
Speaker 1: t E R Capital TV on the score on Twitch.

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00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:45,440
Speaker 3: Wilster underscore.

433
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:49,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, here we go. I got you your Wilster t V. Oh,

434
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:52,480
Speaker 4: this is your Twitter. Let's see what's going on on

435
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:56,439
Speaker 4: your Twitter. I don't know why I'm just sub scrolling

436
00:22:56,440 --> 00:23:00,920
Speaker 4: to your Twitter now that you got some wild things

437
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:02,760
Speaker 4: on Twitter, it's not that well all right here, I'm

438
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:06,080
Speaker 4: on your Yeah. Look, I'm on your I'm on your

439
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:09,920
Speaker 4: YouTube right now while you're playing Overwatch. I've never played Overwatch,

440
00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:15,919
Speaker 4: never played it. I'm not a big I'm not a

441
00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:20,639
Speaker 4: big like I don't. I don't play like online multiplayer

442
00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:24,080
Speaker 4: games except like I play Melee on slippy but that's it.

443
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:29,040
Speaker 4: I don't really play like a Fortnite or Overach or anything.

444
00:23:29,119 --> 00:23:31,600
Speaker 3: But okay, I'll give you a follow.

445
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:33,399
Speaker 4: I'll give you a follow on the twitch in case

446
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:36,439
Speaker 4: if you're ever live when I'm live, we'll give you

447
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:36,800
Speaker 4: a raid.

448
00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:37,520
Speaker 3: Let's see.

449
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:40,680
Speaker 1: Oh man, that's all pretty cool, man.

450
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:41,280
Speaker 6: Very cool.

451
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:45,920
Speaker 4: Well ship will uh will stir TV underscore. Man, I

452
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,000
Speaker 4: appreciate you sharing your story with us. Is there is

453
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:49,719
Speaker 4: there anything else you want to say to the people

454
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:50,760
Speaker 4: before we get out of here?

455
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:52,120
Speaker 2: Oh?

456
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:58,399
Speaker 1: Yes, my slogan has always stayless. State of pat girl Friends.

457
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:02,800
Speaker 4: I hope y'all go to rest, beautiful, take care, Willie,

458
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:03,359
Speaker 4: thanks for calling.

459
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:05,359
Speaker 1: Oh yes, thank you.

460
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:07,040
Speaker 3: That was Willy.

461
00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:12,200
Speaker 4: He's a nice guy, plays call of duty. I'm inspired

462
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:14,720
Speaker 4: by that story. Seems like he tries to keep it

463
00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:18,360
Speaker 4: a buck. You know, it's hard, Life's hard. Ah, fuck man,

464
00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:19,320
Speaker 4: everything every time?

465
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:20,600
Speaker 3: You know what? Man, you know what?

466
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:27,520
Speaker 4: I honestly, the more I do this show, or like

467
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:30,480
Speaker 4: interview people, or like go out and do things, I'm like,

468
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:34,639
Speaker 4: I don't know.

469
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:39,240
Speaker 3: The more I think I think it's I think it's

470
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:42,879
Speaker 3: good to know. Is that is that bad?

471
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,320
Speaker 4: If my conclusion from this show is that it's actually

472
00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:49,439
Speaker 4: good to know less things, I think it might be

473
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:50,880
Speaker 4: good to know less stuff.

474
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:53,159
Speaker 3: It's an option.

475
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,920
Speaker 4: I think the more stuff you know, you you get

476
00:24:56,960 --> 00:25:00,800
Speaker 4: expanded to the world, and that's maybe healthy. I think

477
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:02,360
Speaker 4: if you only I think you know what, I take

478
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:04,480
Speaker 4: it back, if you only get to live once, which

479
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:08,640
Speaker 4: I think you do, I would rather get to know

480
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:12,640
Speaker 4: more about the world around me and the people in it,

481
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:15,679
Speaker 4: even if it's on, even if the process of doing

482
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:19,000
Speaker 4: that and the truths revealed and doing that are uncomfortable,

483
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:23,840
Speaker 4: I think I'd rather do that than live ignorant to

484
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:27,239
Speaker 4: those things. And I'll hold true to that if I,

485
00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:30,040
Speaker 4: you know, if I'm eighty years old, if I'm lucky enough,

486
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:33,159
Speaker 4: who knows, Goddamn, I'll look back and I'll be like,

487
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:40,040
Speaker 4: I'm glad I sought rather than you know, stayed put

488
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:45,080
Speaker 4: and didn't seek anything. I don't know's I that's tangentially

489
00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:47,960
Speaker 4: related to the conversation that we just had, at least

490
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:48,720
Speaker 4: in my own brain.

491
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:51,359
Speaker 3: But that's how I feel.

492
00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:57,720
Speaker 4: Call from uh Hello, Hello.

493
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:00,200
Speaker 2: Hey, can you hear me?

494
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:01,240
Speaker 3: Yes?

495
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:01,520
Speaker 2: Hi?

496
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:02,280
Speaker 3: What's your name?

497
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:03,000
Speaker 2: Great?

498
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:03,400
Speaker 1: Hi?

499
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:07,440
Speaker 2: I don't want to use my real name, so let's

500
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:08,120
Speaker 2: make up one.

501
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:15,639
Speaker 7: Let's say I'm I don't know, bread or something cool?

502
00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:17,400
Speaker 3: Bread? What's up? How's life?

503
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:19,879
Speaker 2: You know? Not great?

504
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:23,639
Speaker 7: If I If I'm being honest, I've been wanting to

505
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:25,159
Speaker 7: talk to you forever, sus kind of crazy.

506
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:28,960
Speaker 2: So let me like, I don't know, relax for a bit.

507
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:35,760
Speaker 4: Well, listen, let's talk about it. If you want to.

508
00:26:36,119 --> 00:26:37,960
Speaker 4: I guess why not, Let's do it.

509
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:41,840
Speaker 2: Okay. The thing is, it's like, my life isn't hard.

510
00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:44,840
Speaker 7: I think I'm going through a similar thing as you

511
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:51,880
Speaker 7: with the existentialism, and so sure, sure, yeah, I mean,

512
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:55,840
Speaker 7: you've been alive longer than I have, and it's like

513
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:57,920
Speaker 7: just through listening to you, it just seems like you're

514
00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:00,200
Speaker 7: still I don't know when this started for you, but.

515
00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:02,879
Speaker 2: I don't know.

516
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:04,320
Speaker 7: I don't know how long it's going to go on

517
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:06,960
Speaker 7: for or like how what you're doing to manage it.

518
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:12,720
Speaker 7: Like I've just been like searching stuff on the internet

519
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:14,800
Speaker 7: and that's all I'm doing, but I don't feel like it's.

520
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:17,800
Speaker 3: Helping, right, Well, what I mean, what is it?

521
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:25,920
Speaker 7: I this existentialism? I don't know, like just not feeling

522
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:31,080
Speaker 7: like there's any direction or meaning if that makes sense

523
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:33,600
Speaker 7: to like yeah, and that you're going to die and

524
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:36,680
Speaker 7: it's gonna matter. It's like, yeah, you've heard all about

525
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:39,520
Speaker 7: the absurdism or whatever where it's like you make up

526
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:41,240
Speaker 7: your own meaning live de fite.

527
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:45,479
Speaker 4: But I don't know.

528
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 7: A part of me it just doesn't want to take that,

529
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:50,960
Speaker 7: I guess, and that's my problem.

530
00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:55,840
Speaker 4: Well, I well I'll tell you a few things. So, yeah,

531
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:58,640
Speaker 4: you know, I went through a really, really really tough

532
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:03,440
Speaker 4: period of time with existent for about I would say

533
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:11,960
Speaker 4: February March April May, so it's about four months where

534
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:14,440
Speaker 4: it's really bad. It was really really bad for four

535
00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 4: months and then now, you know, I mean, I I

536
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:21,120
Speaker 4: I existential questions pop up in my head.

537
00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:22,440
Speaker 3: But like, I mean, there's four months.

538
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:27,080
Speaker 4: Where it's really like incapacitating my ability to fucking do anything,

539
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:30,040
Speaker 4: and it was bad. But after those four months, I mean,

540
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:34,040
Speaker 4: now I still have existential thoughts and feelings that you know,

541
00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:39,800
Speaker 4: I think about all the time, you know, but I

542
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:41,800
Speaker 4: have found ways to mitigate it, and I can I

543
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:45,160
Speaker 4: can tell you ways I've found to mitigate it. I

544
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:51,920
Speaker 4: intentionally figured out different ways to put myself around other

545
00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:57,000
Speaker 4: people and have a place to go every day. I

546
00:28:57,040 --> 00:29:01,840
Speaker 4: gave myself a mission or an objective of a thing

547
00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:09,280
Speaker 4: I want to pursue. I've been accepting that the certain

548
00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:15,479
Speaker 4: existential questions are beyond me, and occupying my brain with

549
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:18,840
Speaker 4: them is not I mean, it feels like something out

550
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:21,440
Speaker 4: of your control, uh when you're in the thick of it,

551
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:25,040
Speaker 4: but uh, you know, they're beyond they're beyond you. You're

552
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:27,960
Speaker 4: never going to figure them out, and it's just it's

553
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:33,600
Speaker 4: not fun too just stay in them, and so you know,

554
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:36,680
Speaker 4: you leave them be. But I mean, for everyone's brain

555
00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:38,360
Speaker 4: is kind of different. I mean, you know, I I've

556
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:45,640
Speaker 4: been taken vibeance that helps, but just I think continuing

557
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:50,520
Speaker 4: to pursue some kind of meaning or purpose, and that's

558
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:51,880
Speaker 4: that's that's I think.

559
00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:56,640
Speaker 3: At least what's helped me. I mean, do you have.

560
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:01,120
Speaker 4: Do you have any any you kind of purpose or

561
00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:04,160
Speaker 4: meaning or direction or anything at all that you vaguely

562
00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:04,840
Speaker 4: want to do.

563
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:12,640
Speaker 7: M I mean finding meaning to cure existentialism, Like they're

564
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:15,080
Speaker 7: kind of interlocked, right, Like if you're going to try

565
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:17,000
Speaker 7: to define what meaning is to you and like what

566
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:19,280
Speaker 7: you want to do with your one life, then it's

567
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:21,400
Speaker 7: kind of like it kind of brings you back, if

568
00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:27,240
Speaker 7: that makes sense. Like if I had to sit down

569
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 7: and be like, Okay, what am I going to do

570
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:33,560
Speaker 7: with my life, and it's like I need meaning to

571
00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:36,600
Speaker 7: distract me from this, from all this thinking about life,

572
00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:36,880
Speaker 7: you know.

573
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:39,200
Speaker 2: Uh, But then.

574
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:47,680
Speaker 7: It's you can't help but think like once you define it,

575
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:51,400
Speaker 7: is this meaningful? Is this worth my time? And it

576
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:57,160
Speaker 7: should be unquestionably worth your time whenever, but like, uh, sorry,

577
00:30:57,200 --> 00:30:57,880
Speaker 7: my thoughts aren't.

578
00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:01,520
Speaker 4: Really it should be unco sesstionably worth your time because

579
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:02,840
Speaker 4: the time is so valuable.

580
00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:07,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, if you value life.

581
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:09,920
Speaker 4: Sure, but but also but also that that what you

582
00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:17,200
Speaker 4: just said, saying it must unquestionably be worth your time is.

583
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:21,720
Speaker 3: An important thing to scrutinize. It's really important.

584
00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:26,640
Speaker 4: It's really what's your name, bread, It's really really important

585
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:33,120
Speaker 4: to scrutinize what you just said, because unquestionably, uh so,

586
00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:37,160
Speaker 4: I'm faced with the fact that I only have one life,

587
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:42,280
Speaker 4: and my time is extremely valuable, and it's a precious, precious,

588
00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:45,920
Speaker 4: precious thing, this one life. And thus, because it's such

589
00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:50,880
Speaker 4: a precious thing, I must do something that is unquestionably

590
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 4: the correct thing to do with my life.

591
00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:59,240
Speaker 3: That's what you're saying. Yeah, and and yes, and and

592
00:31:59,240 --> 00:31:59,760
Speaker 3: and X.

593
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:05,360
Speaker 4: Existentialism gives you that, But there's a lot, there's a

594
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:10,040
Speaker 4: lot of things wrong. And by the way I live that,

595
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:11,720
Speaker 4: I live that all the time, and I think about

596
00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:13,360
Speaker 4: that all the time, and it's one of the things

597
00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:16,120
Speaker 4: that I think leaves me in a lot of paralysis

598
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:23,160
Speaker 4: and is a negative thing because that doesn't exist, and

599
00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:25,800
Speaker 4: it doesn't exist. It won't exist for you, it won't

600
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:35,000
Speaker 4: exist for anyone because nobody will do it perfectly. Life

601
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:41,640
Speaker 4: is error correction, and so you're just inevitably gonna make

602
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:47,360
Speaker 4: errors and you will never ever ever live the perfect life.

603
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:51,720
Speaker 4: Maybe you know what, fucking maybe somebody out there, maybe

604
00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:55,640
Speaker 4: a large amount of people out there, look back at

605
00:32:55,680 --> 00:32:58,160
Speaker 4: their life and they just did it perfectly, you know,

606
00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:00,680
Speaker 4: And good for them if that happened to them and

607
00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:03,440
Speaker 4: everything was perfect. But the vast majority of people, ninety

608
00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:06,040
Speaker 4: nine point nine nine percent of people, I mean, nobody,

609
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:10,320
Speaker 4: nobody does it perfectly. To say that you're gonna do

610
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:19,480
Speaker 4: the unquestionably correct thing is insane, And so just do things,

611
00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:23,840
Speaker 4: you know, So like the paralyzing yourself with trying to

612
00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:26,760
Speaker 4: find the most perfect, amazing thing to do with your

613
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:30,720
Speaker 4: with your life, it's paralyzing, it's ridiculous. So to just

614
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:38,200
Speaker 4: instead go, well, what would be some worthwhile things to

615
00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 4: do with my life? And That's how I've approached a

616
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:41,600
Speaker 4: lot of my life.

617
00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:45,440
Speaker 3: And so look I'm talking. I'm spending.

618
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:49,680
Speaker 4: A part of my finite life talking to you right

619
00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:53,040
Speaker 4: now about this subject. And is this the is this

620
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:57,080
Speaker 4: am i am? I? Is this without question the perfect

621
00:33:57,120 --> 00:34:00,920
Speaker 4: thing to be doing with my time right now? Of

622
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:04,360
Speaker 4: course not, nothing's without question. But can I look at

623
00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:07,600
Speaker 4: this conversation, and can I look at making this podcast,

624
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:09,640
Speaker 4: and can I look at talking to you even if

625
00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:13,440
Speaker 4: just even if having this conversation is a remote help

626
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:16,000
Speaker 4: to you, or to me, or to anyone listening. Can

627
00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:17,719
Speaker 4: I look back at it and go, you know what,

628
00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:19,480
Speaker 4: whether or not that was the perfect thing to do

629
00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:22,319
Speaker 4: with my life it was worthwhile to do?

630
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:23,640
Speaker 3: The answer is yes.

631
00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:26,000
Speaker 4: You know, if I call my mom on the phone

632
00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:30,440
Speaker 4: this morning, was that was that the optimal thing to

633
00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:33,160
Speaker 4: be doing with my life? I don't, I don't know,

634
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:36,120
Speaker 4: But was it worthwhile to talk to my fucking mom? Yeah,

635
00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:37,600
Speaker 4: of course it was. You know, if I go on

636
00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:41,400
Speaker 4: a walk for four hours and I look at trees

637
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:44,040
Speaker 4: and I and I eat a fucking sandwich and I

638
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:48,799
Speaker 4: drink water, was it unquestionably the most optimized thing to

639
00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:51,000
Speaker 4: do with my life? I don't, I don't know, But

640
00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:52,480
Speaker 4: was it a worthwhile thing to do?

641
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:53,680
Speaker 3: Of course it was.

642
00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:57,640
Speaker 4: It's just walking around, you know, so like just the

643
00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:02,640
Speaker 4: think about the things that would just simply be worthwhile.

644
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:04,920
Speaker 3: And then that way you can at least look.

645
00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:06,359
Speaker 4: Back at your life and look back at how you've

646
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:11,080
Speaker 4: spent your time and go, I did things that were

647
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:13,279
Speaker 4: worthwhile and they kept me in the moment, and I'm

648
00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:17,799
Speaker 4: proud of how I spent my time. And by the way,

649
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:20,760
Speaker 4: even if you get trapped in crazy dopamine loops, which

650
00:35:22,719 --> 00:35:25,920
Speaker 4: everyone does I'm living proof of. Like, I mean, you

651
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:27,680
Speaker 4: have no idea how much time I've spent, you know,

652
00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:33,040
Speaker 4: on checking emails for no reason, no just searching for dopamine,

653
00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:36,959
Speaker 4: a porn or Instagram reels or eating.

654
00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:37,400
Speaker 3: Food or what.

655
00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:43,440
Speaker 4: I have so so so much time of my life

656
00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:44,960
Speaker 4: that I've dedicated to that.

657
00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:48,080
Speaker 3: But I still am able to look back.

658
00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:51,560
Speaker 4: At my life proud because you know, I had enough

659
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:55,520
Speaker 4: time to do that. But I also made friends, and

660
00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:57,319
Speaker 4: I also went on a lot of good walks, and

661
00:35:57,360 --> 00:36:00,880
Speaker 4: I got to travel, and I got to have worthwhile conversations,

662
00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:03,400
Speaker 4: and I got to do things that were full of meaning.

663
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:05,799
Speaker 4: And it was And of course it wasn't perfect because

664
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:09,120
Speaker 4: I spent I mean fucking today before I started streaming

665
00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:14,920
Speaker 4: making this podcast, I probably you know, spent four hours

666
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:18,600
Speaker 4: just like dicking around, just dicking around. But at least

667
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:21,359
Speaker 4: to these, look, these ten minutes that we're talking right now,

668
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:24,360
Speaker 4: I'll remember it. So if I if I, at least

669
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:28,400
Speaker 4: within my own ability and within my own energy, do

670
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:34,319
Speaker 4: things that are kind of worthwhile, I'll be able to

671
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:36,640
Speaker 4: look at my life and be proud of it. But

672
00:36:36,719 --> 00:36:40,320
Speaker 4: this thing you're talking about this unquestionable. It makes perfect sense.

673
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,600
Speaker 4: The conclusion that you're coming to the way you got

674
00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:45,800
Speaker 4: here makes perfect sense.

675
00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:46,160
Speaker 3: Again.

676
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:49,360
Speaker 4: I know that because I've got caught into that logical

677
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:53,440
Speaker 4: conclusion myself that because life is so finite and precious, everything,

678
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:58,160
Speaker 4: every part of it has to be optimized. But that's

679
00:36:58,360 --> 00:37:03,280
Speaker 4: not realistic, and if you try to live that way,

680
00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:08,839
Speaker 4: you'll just spiral infinitely. So just do things that are

681
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:13,200
Speaker 4: worthwhile and lower your bar for what's worthwhile, you know,

682
00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:16,279
Speaker 4: I mean, do the big things if you want, go

683
00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:19,200
Speaker 4: travel and make the art you want to make, or

684
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:23,840
Speaker 4: have the connections you want to make, but also the

685
00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:26,440
Speaker 4: small like what I watched this morning. I watched the

686
00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:35,560
Speaker 4: YouTube video about the old Hannah barbera ride at Universal Studios.

687
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:36,760
Speaker 3: Whatever.

688
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:39,680
Speaker 4: That's what I did with that finite amount of time

689
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:44,120
Speaker 4: in my life. I don't, I don't. I don't regret it.

690
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:49,000
Speaker 4: I bought the the Switch, I played the new Donkey

691
00:37:49,120 --> 00:37:50,320
Speaker 4: Kong game.

692
00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:52,600
Speaker 3: I don't regret it. You know what, fuck it?

693
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:55,320
Speaker 4: I don't regret the seven times I checked my fucking

694
00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:56,840
Speaker 4: email this morning.

695
00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:58,480
Speaker 3: Why would I regret it? Who cares?

696
00:37:58,600 --> 00:37:58,799
Speaker 6: You know?

697
00:37:59,080 --> 00:37:59,640
Speaker 3: Just don't.

698
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:04,359
Speaker 4: It's too much pressure it's too much pressure to have

699
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:10,880
Speaker 4: those regrets and to so just just do do worthwhile things,

700
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:15,400
Speaker 4: try not to beat yourself up too much, and you know,

701
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:20,000
Speaker 4: lower your bar for what's worthwhile. It's not what it's

702
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:22,680
Speaker 4: it's It's funny because when you start thinking about it

703
00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:24,719
Speaker 4: a lot, it becomes a lot of pressure.

704
00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:26,480
Speaker 3: And then you.

705
00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:28,839
Speaker 4: Start thinking about it even more and you start thinking

706
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:33,319
Speaker 4: about it in a different direction, and it actually becomes a.

707
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:38,239
Speaker 3: Lot less pressure. So that's what I got. That's my

708
00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:38,880
Speaker 3: long rants.

709
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:41,920
Speaker 2: No, yeah, thank you for that.

710
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:47,279
Speaker 7: I think definitely, the perfectionist paralysis whatever is definitely just

711
00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:52,239
Speaker 7: a pattern within a lot of people. It seems like

712
00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:54,439
Speaker 7: people it's like there's a certain type of person who

713
00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:56,640
Speaker 7: just doesn't care and does things and they end up

714
00:38:56,640 --> 00:39:00,000
Speaker 7: getting a lot more accomplished and totally. Yeah, it's something

715
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:05,480
Speaker 7: I should reference though, what you say about doing worthwhile things.

716
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:09,840
Speaker 7: It's the fact that there could be something good you

717
00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:12,680
Speaker 7: could be doing or not. There's like it's all like

718
00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:14,799
Speaker 7: a spectrum or a scale or whatever. It doesn't matter

719
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:17,040
Speaker 7: if you do like the lowest of the low, but

720
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:20,839
Speaker 7: the fact that there's some kind of value there, there's

721
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:23,080
Speaker 7: some value of good or bad even though you can

722
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:26,560
Speaker 7: repeat to yourself, doesn't matter. It's that itself can also

723
00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:30,160
Speaker 7: be paralyzing. It's a another secondary layer of perfectionism. I

724
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:32,720
Speaker 7: feel it's like, Okay, yeah, I can't be perfect perfect,

725
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:37,680
Speaker 7: but here's this thing closest to perfection possible. Even if

726
00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:41,960
Speaker 7: it's by objective standards, not perfect or even good to you,

727
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:44,280
Speaker 7: it's the best you could do, which is perfect.

728
00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:45,399
Speaker 2: I don't know if that makes sense.

729
00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:47,839
Speaker 3: It does make it does make sense.

730
00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:48,200
Speaker 2: But the.

731
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:56,200
Speaker 4: You're taking a thing that's in some ways subjective and

732
00:39:56,719 --> 00:40:01,279
Speaker 4: and I guess making it kind of objective. I mean like, well,

733
00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:03,399
Speaker 4: so for let me so for example, right, I mean

734
00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:07,919
Speaker 4: like in your life, how is the paralysis playing out?

735
00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:08,319
Speaker 6: Like?

736
00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:10,440
Speaker 4: What what are the what are the opt what are

737
00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:15,440
Speaker 4: the things? I know, I understand the general paralysis of

738
00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:18,520
Speaker 4: trying to optimize your life, right, But if we got

739
00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:20,399
Speaker 4: a little bit more into the weeds than we were

740
00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:22,120
Speaker 4: and we come back that when we come back down

741
00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:25,439
Speaker 4: to earth, where how does that paralysis play out?

742
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:28,040
Speaker 3: Like you know, in your day to day life.

743
00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:36,879
Speaker 7: I guess constant procrastination. So I'm gonna be graduating from

744
00:40:36,880 --> 00:40:40,600
Speaker 7: college soon and I'm not planning out anything at all.

745
00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:43,759
Speaker 7: I don't know anything about anything. I tell myself I

746
00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:46,840
Speaker 7: should be studying. I could always be doing something to

747
00:40:47,080 --> 00:40:51,319
Speaker 7: improve my situation. There's whatever, Like it's just up to me.

748
00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:52,920
Speaker 7: I just do it and I'll feel better too, And

749
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:57,080
Speaker 7: I know that. But for some reason, it's just such

750
00:40:57,120 --> 00:41:03,479
Speaker 7: a daunting thing. And it's honestly what you talked about,

751
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:07,320
Speaker 7: like the dopamine leaves. It's probably just that it's probably

752
00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:11,160
Speaker 7: just a biological thing and not like maybe this existential,

753
00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:12,279
Speaker 7: big question thing.

754
00:41:12,920 --> 00:41:13,760
Speaker 2: It is kind of stuck.

755
00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:16,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, I understand why.

756
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:19,399
Speaker 4: I know, I understand why that sucks.

757
00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:20,400
Speaker 3: Yeah it is.

758
00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:25,160
Speaker 4: It is a biological thing. I don't know anything about biology,

759
00:41:25,239 --> 00:41:27,600
Speaker 4: but I the more I don't know anything about psychology.

760
00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:29,520
Speaker 4: But the more I learned about it, the more I

761
00:41:29,560 --> 00:41:31,799
Speaker 4: realize that a lot of things I think are existential

762
00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:34,920
Speaker 4: are just like my human brain behaving the way that

763
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:35,920
Speaker 4: human brains behave.

764
00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:37,720
Speaker 3: But there's also still there's still a lot.

765
00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:42,320
Speaker 4: Of questions I have about human brains, Like personality is

766
00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:45,759
Speaker 4: a weird thing to me, like why do why are

767
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:48,400
Speaker 4: certain people so good at not procrastinating and others are

768
00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:53,799
Speaker 4: I don't know, but uh, I mean, what are you

769
00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:57,440
Speaker 4: procrastinating on? Like when you say when you when you say, oh,

770
00:41:57,440 --> 00:41:59,000
Speaker 4: I should be studying like studying what.

771
00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:04,120
Speaker 7: Uh, funnily enough, like psychology, So I have to apply

772
00:42:04,239 --> 00:42:09,160
Speaker 7: to my psychology degree. It's actually like like to declare

773
00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:12,399
Speaker 7: my major. I mean, and it's coming up pretty soon

774
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:19,240
Speaker 7: the deadline. And I'm perfectly qualified, I know, exactly, like

775
00:42:19,239 --> 00:42:21,319
Speaker 7: like I just need to type weber out and then

776
00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:25,520
Speaker 7: they'll probably accept me more than likely. And despite that,

777
00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:29,120
Speaker 7: it's just like I, I don't know, it's just like

778
00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:33,439
Speaker 7: I could just put it off. Why sit here and

779
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:37,760
Speaker 7: do it when I don't have to? I guess it's

780
00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:40,080
Speaker 7: because I have to write like a personal statement. It's

781
00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:42,760
Speaker 7: like two hundred fifty words. It's pretty simple. They'll take

782
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:50,400
Speaker 7: weber chat GPT, you know, like paragraph. But it's I

783
00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:52,560
Speaker 7: don't want to do that. I actually want to put

784
00:42:52,640 --> 00:43:00,000
Speaker 7: work into it, even if they don't care. Also, yeah,

785
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:02,759
Speaker 7: I don't want to put in the work because it's

786
00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:04,160
Speaker 7: not going to be quote quote perfect.

787
00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:07,520
Speaker 2: I think it's my mindset.

788
00:43:08,239 --> 00:43:09,800
Speaker 3: What do you what do you like care about?

789
00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:19,480
Speaker 2: I don't know, man, I guess having a I don't know.

790
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:22,480
Speaker 2: I don't know, like feeling fulfilled?

791
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:31,680
Speaker 4: Do you honestly feel like you don't know or do

792
00:43:31,719 --> 00:43:36,080
Speaker 4: you can you find something within yourself that you actually

793
00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:40,320
Speaker 4: do care about.

794
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:44,960
Speaker 7: I think I could, but I think I don't trust

795
00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:48,040
Speaker 7: my brain enough because it's I mean, done this to

796
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:52,319
Speaker 7: me first of all, and I like, we're all I've

797
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:55,520
Speaker 7: gotten this completely off of TikTok and whatever, but it's

798
00:43:55,560 --> 00:43:59,120
Speaker 7: just like we're very influenced, and I'm not sure if

799
00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:03,520
Speaker 7: my desires are really my desires and you know the whole.

800
00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:07,680
Speaker 3: Uh clear with what h So go ahead.

801
00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:11,080
Speaker 7: Oh, once you achieve your dream, it's actually not as

802
00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:13,080
Speaker 7: great as you thought it would be, and like like

803
00:44:13,160 --> 00:44:15,880
Speaker 7: you become a doctor or whatever, you'll actually kind of suffer.

804
00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:18,239
Speaker 2: It's just like I don't know what to pick. Then.

805
00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:23,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm also be very I'm dude, be very very

806
00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:26,960
Speaker 4: very careful with TikTok, because I'm sure that your TikTok

807
00:44:27,160 --> 00:44:31,280
Speaker 4: is feeding you like Alan Watt's shit and like people

808
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:34,239
Speaker 4: being like when I was you know things things I

809
00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:36,399
Speaker 4: wish I knew at twenty when I was thirty, and

810
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:38,080
Speaker 4: like is that your algorithm?

811
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:38,800
Speaker 3: Is that your feed?

812
00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:43,560
Speaker 4: Kind of yeah, yeah, my feed does that ship to

813
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:47,040
Speaker 4: me too, and like, do be careful with that ship.

814
00:44:47,080 --> 00:44:50,640
Speaker 4: I've deleted TikTok because like you now, because because you're

815
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:54,680
Speaker 4: already going through all this existential shit and TikTok is

816
00:44:54,719 --> 00:44:57,400
Speaker 4: going to like feed into it, you know, like it

817
00:44:57,520 --> 00:44:57,799
Speaker 4: just does.

818
00:44:58,080 --> 00:44:59,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, I totally get.

819
00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:02,360
Speaker 7: It's like it's our first time living, right And so

820
00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:05,200
Speaker 7: they're like, oh, this person's older than me or more successful,

821
00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:07,040
Speaker 7: so let's listen to them. But they could say whatever

822
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:10,600
Speaker 7: shit and they could like turn out not so great,

823
00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:14,680
Speaker 7: but you'll still not know or have the experience to

824
00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:17,319
Speaker 7: you know, spot it out until it's I don't know,

825
00:45:17,520 --> 00:45:18,759
Speaker 7: a bit too late for some.

826
00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:22,480
Speaker 4: There's that, but it also whether or not like the

827
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:25,319
Speaker 4: advice is.

828
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:27,480
Speaker 3: Good or not.

829
00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:30,359
Speaker 4: It's more just about like the state of mind because

830
00:45:30,920 --> 00:45:34,479
Speaker 4: like my understanding is that you're bothered right now because

831
00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:37,160
Speaker 4: your brain is in an existential state of mind like

832
00:45:37,239 --> 00:45:44,239
Speaker 4: all the time, and that's really uncomfortable. And when you

833
00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:50,279
Speaker 4: go on TikTok and your whole feed is existential, it

834
00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:56,600
Speaker 4: reinforces the state of mind. Dude, I was, I uh

835
00:45:57,680 --> 00:46:00,160
Speaker 4: like I saw I was.

836
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:00,640
Speaker 3: I was.

837
00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:04,880
Speaker 4: I was dating this person and my brain was in

838
00:46:04,880 --> 00:46:09,360
Speaker 4: an existential mood and like all of my TikTok shit.

839
00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:13,239
Speaker 3: Comes up as is like is the feed.

840
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:18,040
Speaker 4: I just described it's like when you're how to know

841
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:21,720
Speaker 4: like whatever, like things I wish I knew at twenty

842
00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:26,520
Speaker 4: when I was thirty and I was watching this person

843
00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:29,279
Speaker 4: I was dating, like scroll through her TikTok and it

844
00:46:29,360 --> 00:46:33,040
Speaker 4: came up on one of those videos and I was like, oh,

845
00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:35,320
Speaker 4: that's what I'm naturally interested in, and she just scrolled

846
00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:36,080
Speaker 4: right past it.

847
00:46:36,719 --> 00:46:39,800
Speaker 3: And then all of the videos on her feed were.

848
00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:43,040
Speaker 4: Like like, you know, like dogs and shit, you know

849
00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:45,920
Speaker 4: what I mean, Like things had nothing like dogs or

850
00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:50,160
Speaker 4: like skincare, you know, and it was like just a

851
00:46:50,239 --> 00:46:52,319
Speaker 4: shit that had nothing to do with this, And I'm like, oh,

852
00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:55,040
Speaker 4: that's why you know that.

853
00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:57,759
Speaker 3: It was an interesting observation. It was like, oh, what

854
00:46:57,800 --> 00:46:58,200
Speaker 3: do you mean?

855
00:46:58,320 --> 00:47:03,240
Speaker 4: My brain does not have to be in this state

856
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:07,520
Speaker 4: all the time, you know, Like because you get a

857
00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:09,359
Speaker 4: little existential, then you go on the internet and then

858
00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:13,520
Speaker 4: YouTube starts feeding you alls guru shit and TikTok, sex, fienialds, gurushit,

859
00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:15,279
Speaker 4: and before you know it, before you know it, it

860
00:47:15,280 --> 00:47:17,960
Speaker 4: becomes the world you live in. You know, and you

861
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:21,200
Speaker 4: don't and it's uncomfortable, and you go out with other

862
00:47:21,200 --> 00:47:23,360
Speaker 4: people and you meet it and you're realize that not

863
00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:26,440
Speaker 4: everyone lives in this world of existentialism that you live in,

864
00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:32,000
Speaker 4: and you're like, damn, I gotta stop programming myself.

865
00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:33,440
Speaker 3: It's hard. I get. I get that.

866
00:47:33,480 --> 00:47:35,120
Speaker 4: It's a whole thing where it's like once you see it,

867
00:47:35,120 --> 00:47:39,160
Speaker 4: you can and see it. But I it's manageable.

868
00:47:38,960 --> 00:47:39,160
Speaker 5: You know.

869
00:47:39,400 --> 00:47:42,280
Speaker 4: That's I would say that. I don't know if I'm

870
00:47:42,520 --> 00:47:43,640
Speaker 4: as a tangent.

871
00:47:43,280 --> 00:47:45,080
Speaker 2: But yeah, no, I get that.

872
00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:49,440
Speaker 7: Yeah, I gotta ask. I don't I personally observe it

873
00:47:49,480 --> 00:47:51,239
Speaker 7: in myself, but I don't know if you feel like

874
00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:53,879
Speaker 7: a sense of pride almost like oh my gosh, I've

875
00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:56,880
Speaker 7: been chosen to look at life in the face for

876
00:47:57,000 --> 00:48:00,759
Speaker 7: its deepest whatever and I'm special Like you don't want

877
00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:01,839
Speaker 7: to say that, or.

878
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:06,160
Speaker 2: But I can feel that's sort.

879
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:09,200
Speaker 7: Of what's going on with me to sustain myself in

880
00:48:09,239 --> 00:48:10,640
Speaker 7: this Uh, let.

881
00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:20,160
Speaker 4: Me think about that for a second. M let me

882
00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:25,520
Speaker 4: think about that for a second, because that I hmmm,

883
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:34,080
Speaker 4: have you been chosen? I've I have a lot of

884
00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:36,480
Speaker 4: I have a lot of thoughts about that. Well what

885
00:48:36,600 --> 00:48:37,719
Speaker 4: is I mean, what does that mean to you?

886
00:48:39,400 --> 00:48:40,480
Speaker 2: Like? Not chosen?

887
00:48:40,840 --> 00:48:42,239
Speaker 3: It was kind of no, I I know, I know,

888
00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:44,040
Speaker 3: I know, no, No, No, I know you. I know what

889
00:48:44,120 --> 00:48:45,919
Speaker 3: you mean, though, uh huh.

890
00:48:46,239 --> 00:48:49,600
Speaker 7: I guess it's just like like you said, you can't

891
00:48:50,080 --> 00:48:52,960
Speaker 7: unsee what you've seen. And then it's it's like you

892
00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:57,040
Speaker 7: realize other people around you seemingly because you're not them

893
00:48:57,080 --> 00:49:00,840
Speaker 7: seemingly or just kind of uh like vain or like

894
00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:04,200
Speaker 7: invested in this and like worldly things whatever. They don't

895
00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:06,359
Speaker 7: really think about what they're doing. But I'm over here,

896
00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:10,200
Speaker 7: you know, you, like really contemplating what's important, and once

897
00:49:10,239 --> 00:49:12,560
Speaker 7: I get it, I know I'll be greater or whatever.

898
00:49:13,320 --> 00:49:19,440
Speaker 7: It's I feel like that's an underlying voice that I

899
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:21,279
Speaker 7: don't realize, at least my ex on socialism.

900
00:49:21,680 --> 00:49:25,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, so okay, here's a little thing about that voice.

901
00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:28,680
Speaker 4: I've had that voice, Yeah, where it's like not not

902
00:49:28,680 --> 00:49:32,720
Speaker 4: not I'm the chosen one, but like I see life

903
00:49:33,080 --> 00:49:36,160
Speaker 4: for what it is because I've had this existential crisis

904
00:49:36,680 --> 00:49:40,280
Speaker 4: and everyone else is just going through the motions and whatnot,

905
00:49:40,719 --> 00:49:47,600
Speaker 4: and it's dangerous for a few reasons. Okay, So there's

906
00:49:47,600 --> 00:49:51,759
Speaker 4: a bell curve I think with this, do you know

907
00:49:51,800 --> 00:49:56,440
Speaker 4: that you know the bell curve meme? Yeah, where it's like, uh, okay,

908
00:49:56,480 --> 00:49:59,040
Speaker 4: so there's a bell curve, so and I have to.

909
00:49:59,080 --> 00:50:00,640
Speaker 3: I think I talked about this on here before, but

910
00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:01,239
Speaker 3: I'll do it again.

911
00:50:01,600 --> 00:50:05,319
Speaker 4: There's a bell curve meme where Okay, so at the

912
00:50:05,440 --> 00:50:07,839
Speaker 4: very left side of the bell curve you have like

913
00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:14,200
Speaker 4: dumb Wojack, and dumb Wojack is like, you know, Herder,

914
00:50:14,280 --> 00:50:17,759
Speaker 4: I just do things that I like and have a

915
00:50:17,840 --> 00:50:21,440
Speaker 4: chill time. Right And then in the middle of the

916
00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:25,080
Speaker 4: bell curve that's where you are right now, is life

917
00:50:25,160 --> 00:50:27,319
Speaker 4: must be optimized because it is so precious, and we

918
00:50:27,360 --> 00:50:30,480
Speaker 4: cannot allow ourselves to, you know, live in ignorant bliss

919
00:50:30,480 --> 00:50:32,680
Speaker 4: because I have seen life for what it is, and

920
00:50:32,719 --> 00:50:37,040
Speaker 4: I must make the most optimal choices because I have

921
00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:40,200
Speaker 4: to do that in service of the deep preciousness of

922
00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:42,680
Speaker 4: life that I have come to understand, you know. And

923
00:50:42,680 --> 00:50:47,520
Speaker 4: that's crying freaking out Wojack. And then on the right

924
00:50:47,560 --> 00:50:51,400
Speaker 4: side of the bell curve is enlightened Wojack with the

925
00:50:51,440 --> 00:50:55,319
Speaker 4: hood up and he's like, I just do things that

926
00:50:55,360 --> 00:51:00,200
Speaker 4: I like, and I think about I used to think

927
00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:05,880
Speaker 4: about my uh my, my mom and my stepdad without fail.

928
00:51:06,360 --> 00:51:07,960
Speaker 3: Every single.

929
00:51:09,160 --> 00:51:13,760
Speaker 4: Night they eat, they make salmon, and they watch Jeopardy,

930
00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:18,080
Speaker 4: and growing up, I would think, like, man, that's crazy

931
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:19,800
Speaker 4: How are you gonna spend your whole life just eating

932
00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:23,480
Speaker 4: salmon and watching Jeopardy? You know, like, isn't there isn't

933
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:27,320
Speaker 4: there more to be ascertained or achieved or whatever whatever.

934
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:31,520
Speaker 3: And then kind of as you close a bit of a.

935
00:51:31,440 --> 00:51:34,520
Speaker 4: Loop on an existential crisis, you realize like, oh, they

936
00:51:34,560 --> 00:51:37,560
Speaker 4: had it right all along, you know, like they're the

937
00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:45,880
Speaker 4: every every nothing. They the the the breadth of human

938
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:51,439
Speaker 4: experience and the amazing ascension that I'm thinking I'm going

939
00:51:51,480 --> 00:51:55,239
Speaker 4: to achieve as a result of quote unquote seeing life

940
00:51:55,320 --> 00:51:58,160
Speaker 4: for what it is. They don't need to do all

941
00:51:58,200 --> 00:52:02,720
Speaker 4: that shit because all of that is found within eating

942
00:52:02,800 --> 00:52:06,360
Speaker 4: salmon and watching Jeopardy. Like it was all right there,

943
00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:11,360
Speaker 4: you know, so I don't I don't need to There's

944
00:52:11,360 --> 00:52:14,000
Speaker 4: no ascension there. I don't think there ever will be

945
00:52:14,040 --> 00:52:22,399
Speaker 4: an ascension. There's just uh, mitigating things in dealing with them.

946
00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:29,399
Speaker 4: I think That's how I feel on this uh, on

947
00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:33,120
Speaker 4: this journey right now. Is I I have I've always

948
00:52:33,120 --> 00:52:37,279
Speaker 4: had this faith that one day I will have some

949
00:52:37,440 --> 00:52:42,839
Speaker 4: form of ascension, not in like a religious way, but

950
00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:49,719
Speaker 4: like ascending beyond this kind of like inherent discomfort.

951
00:52:51,360 --> 00:52:53,840
Speaker 3: But maybe I will. There's still a lot of factors left.

952
00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:55,759
Speaker 4: But I've achieved a lot of things in my life

953
00:52:55,800 --> 00:52:58,600
Speaker 4: that I thought would bring me to that ascension, and

954
00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:01,560
Speaker 4: they have yet. But I still there's a lot of

955
00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:07,080
Speaker 4: other things that I still have on my list before

956
00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:10,680
Speaker 4: I've ascended. But I don't you know, if the other

957
00:53:10,760 --> 00:53:13,160
Speaker 4: things that I thought would bring me to some form

958
00:53:13,160 --> 00:53:15,120
Speaker 4: of ascension didn't bring me there, then I don't think

959
00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:16,200
Speaker 4: this will either.

960
00:53:16,320 --> 00:53:17,120
Speaker 3: But who knows.

961
00:53:17,120 --> 00:53:17,440
Speaker 1: Man, I.

962
00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:21,320
Speaker 3: You know, there's things I haven't tried.

963
00:53:21,480 --> 00:53:23,560
Speaker 4: I still, I still, in my heart of heart, believe

964
00:53:23,640 --> 00:53:30,120
Speaker 4: that I'll you know, to me, you know, ascension to.

965
00:53:30,200 --> 00:53:31,239
Speaker 3: Me feels like.

966
00:53:33,920 --> 00:53:37,960
Speaker 4: Having a strong state of well being day to day.

967
00:53:38,480 --> 00:53:40,320
Speaker 4: That's what it feels like to me. You don't ever like,

968
00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:44,680
Speaker 4: you don't like become God or some shit. Yeah, you know,

969
00:53:46,960 --> 00:53:51,799
Speaker 4: but yeah, that's my experience with that feeling you're talking about.

970
00:53:52,600 --> 00:53:58,319
Speaker 2: M I see, have you have you heard of self realization?

971
00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:02,719
Speaker 3: That concept of like, no, what is that?

972
00:54:03,880 --> 00:54:04,719
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know.

973
00:54:04,760 --> 00:54:06,640
Speaker 7: I don't know that much about it. I've just heard

974
00:54:06,680 --> 00:54:10,400
Speaker 7: it from someone. Apparently it's it's kind of like enlightenment

975
00:54:10,440 --> 00:54:11,680
Speaker 7: and Buddhism or.

976
00:54:13,440 --> 00:54:13,800
Speaker 2: Whatever.

977
00:54:13,840 --> 00:54:16,160
Speaker 7: It's like where you can reach a state of just

978
00:54:17,120 --> 00:54:23,680
Speaker 7: nearly just not being neurotic anymore, not ever facing like

979
00:54:23,840 --> 00:54:26,520
Speaker 7: anger or any negative emotion of any sort, and you're

980
00:54:26,600 --> 00:54:28,600
Speaker 7: just kind of like living like an animal because like

981
00:54:28,640 --> 00:54:34,120
Speaker 7: they're just living on instinct. Right it's realizing the error

982
00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:35,920
Speaker 7: of self image or whatever.

983
00:54:37,760 --> 00:54:38,440
Speaker 2: I don't know that.

984
00:54:38,520 --> 00:54:40,640
Speaker 7: Much about it myself, but that's a state that you

985
00:54:40,840 --> 00:54:41,799
Speaker 7: apparently can reach.

986
00:54:42,440 --> 00:54:47,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, and again for where I'm at right now, I'm

987
00:54:47,520 --> 00:54:51,759
Speaker 4: kind of like I mean, like I was talking to

988
00:54:51,840 --> 00:54:56,440
Speaker 4: the guy before about you know, I'm neurotic and I'm

989
00:54:56,440 --> 00:54:59,520
Speaker 4: always going to deal with crap. And I honestly think

990
00:54:59,719 --> 00:55:04,920
Speaker 4: part of honestly think part of the ascension is just

991
00:55:04,960 --> 00:55:09,520
Speaker 4: accepting that, accepting that, accepting the like instead of trying

992
00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:12,520
Speaker 4: to imagine a world where I never have any problems,

993
00:55:12,520 --> 00:55:15,520
Speaker 4: I never have any negative emotions, I never have fear

994
00:55:15,600 --> 00:55:18,520
Speaker 4: or anxiety. I just I just take it in as

995
00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:22,040
Speaker 4: part of life and I and I accept my imperfections

996
00:55:22,120 --> 00:55:26,640
Speaker 4: and I accept the uncertainty. That's where I think the

997
00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:28,800
Speaker 4: piece is found. I don't think the piece is found

998
00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:31,160
Speaker 4: in some kind of state where I don't experience those things,

999
00:55:31,160 --> 00:55:38,440
Speaker 4: but rather a state where I integrate them and accept them,

1000
00:55:38,800 --> 00:55:42,360
Speaker 4: and I feel I almost feel honored to be alive,

1001
00:55:42,520 --> 00:55:45,760
Speaker 4: to have them.

1002
00:55:44,560 --> 00:55:47,759
Speaker 2: M I see it.

1003
00:55:49,080 --> 00:55:51,200
Speaker 7: I guess in a way, it's it's like, definitely not

1004
00:55:51,400 --> 00:55:55,480
Speaker 7: enjoyable to experience, you know, the consequences of being neurotic.

1005
00:55:55,640 --> 00:55:58,680
Speaker 7: But it's like, I'm sure afterward it's kind of like, oh,

1006
00:55:58,719 --> 00:56:01,400
Speaker 7: it's kind of you know, nice being alive.

1007
00:56:01,840 --> 00:56:06,719
Speaker 2: It's it's like you're able to feel. But also, I.

1008
00:56:08,480 --> 00:56:12,120
Speaker 7: Like your whole life is kind of following the pursuit

1009
00:56:12,160 --> 00:56:14,759
Speaker 7: of not feeling these things as little, like as much

1010
00:56:14,800 --> 00:56:16,040
Speaker 7: as possible, right.

1011
00:56:16,120 --> 00:56:18,080
Speaker 4: Right, but then once but once you accept right, but

1012
00:56:18,120 --> 00:56:23,840
Speaker 4: once you accept it, you're like, is paradoxically when you

1013
00:56:23,920 --> 00:56:24,960
Speaker 4: find some peace.

1014
00:56:26,400 --> 00:56:28,120
Speaker 2: Mm hmm let me.

1015
00:56:28,080 --> 00:56:31,319
Speaker 7: See accept it, like except that it's always going to

1016
00:56:31,360 --> 00:56:34,359
Speaker 7: be there, but still try to minimize it.

1017
00:56:36,920 --> 00:56:37,360
Speaker 6: Mmmm.

1018
00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:39,960
Speaker 3: Something like that.

1019
00:56:40,200 --> 00:56:48,080
Speaker 7: Probably okay, I mean yeah, yeah, I can't put this

1020
00:56:48,239 --> 00:56:49,360
Speaker 7: pressure on you.

1021
00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:53,000
Speaker 4: You're no, yeah, don't feel I don't feel No, I

1022
00:56:53,040 --> 00:56:55,960
Speaker 4: don't I don't feel any pressure at all. I'm just

1023
00:56:56,160 --> 00:57:01,319
Speaker 4: this has just been my uh experience. I mean it's

1024
00:57:01,320 --> 00:57:04,160
Speaker 4: still I'm still working it out.

1025
00:57:04,320 --> 00:57:05,080
Speaker 3: That's why I'm.

1026
00:57:04,960 --> 00:57:07,160
Speaker 4: Able to sound like I have any kind of authority

1027
00:57:07,160 --> 00:57:10,640
Speaker 4: on the subject. Is uh, you know, just a lot

1028
00:57:10,680 --> 00:57:15,600
Speaker 4: of work, continuing to work it out. But I'm you know,

1029
00:57:16,600 --> 00:57:22,240
Speaker 4: I'm trying to find my uh you just just keep working,

1030
00:57:22,600 --> 00:57:24,760
Speaker 4: just keep working and trying not to go insane.

1031
00:57:25,440 --> 00:57:27,760
Speaker 3: That's what I would say, got it, bread?

1032
00:57:29,120 --> 00:57:29,440
Speaker 2: Yes?

1033
00:57:30,280 --> 00:57:31,640
Speaker 3: Wait, sorry, you wanted to say something.

1034
00:57:32,760 --> 00:57:37,520
Speaker 7: I just wanted to ask about, like how you're direct

1035
00:57:38,280 --> 00:57:40,680
Speaker 7: how you're directing your life. I guess, like how do

1036
00:57:40,760 --> 00:57:43,480
Speaker 7: you start this podcast? Like what motivated you too? And

1037
00:57:43,520 --> 00:57:46,320
Speaker 7: then what are you following? I guess what are the

1038
00:57:46,400 --> 00:57:48,760
Speaker 7: big meaningful things that let you hear?

1039
00:57:49,120 --> 00:57:56,880
Speaker 4: And this podcast truly started as an accident. Okay, Well,

1040
00:57:56,920 --> 00:58:00,680
Speaker 4: I've always done stuff, and I've always fucked.

1041
00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:03,200
Speaker 3: Around on the internet and made movies and I.

1042
00:58:03,160 --> 00:58:07,040
Speaker 4: Did stand up for a while, and this podcast started

1043
00:58:07,040 --> 00:58:09,120
Speaker 4: as an act, truly as an accident.

1044
00:58:10,520 --> 00:58:11,280
Speaker 3: That kind of.

1045
00:58:13,280 --> 00:58:18,800
Speaker 4: I was able to turn into a thing. And I've

1046
00:58:18,800 --> 00:58:22,080
Speaker 4: been doing it for five years now, and I think

1047
00:58:22,320 --> 00:58:28,600
Speaker 4: now my now, my big like direction and focus is

1048
00:58:28,640 --> 00:58:32,480
Speaker 4: going to be on, uh making making little documentaries like

1049
00:58:32,520 --> 00:58:35,560
Speaker 4: I made my Tijuana documentary, I made my Japan documentary.

1050
00:58:35,600 --> 00:58:40,360
Speaker 4: I've got two other little docu videos in the works,

1051
00:58:40,600 --> 00:58:44,280
Speaker 4: and those are those those videos are what interested me

1052
00:58:44,560 --> 00:58:46,560
Speaker 4: right now. So I'm gonna keep trying to make those

1053
00:58:46,640 --> 00:58:53,920
Speaker 4: videos of like you know, uh traveling and uh interviewing people,

1054
00:58:53,960 --> 00:58:56,320
Speaker 4: and you know that feels like a very worthwhile use

1055
00:58:56,360 --> 00:58:59,120
Speaker 4: of my time. And I'm gonna keep trying to put

1056
00:58:59,160 --> 00:59:04,680
Speaker 4: on little fun things that bring people together and try

1057
00:59:04,720 --> 00:59:10,360
Speaker 4: to enjoy my life and make good work and uh

1058
00:59:11,840 --> 00:59:15,480
Speaker 4: do do things that feel worthwhile to me. That's been

1059
00:59:15,520 --> 00:59:17,920
Speaker 4: my kind of north star over the.

1060
00:59:17,960 --> 00:59:18,480
Speaker 3: Over the year.

1061
00:59:20,560 --> 00:59:23,640
Speaker 2: Solid sounds good. I hope it all goes well.

1062
00:59:24,040 --> 00:59:26,120
Speaker 3: I hope so too, Man, I hope so too.

1063
00:59:27,640 --> 00:59:31,480
Speaker 2: I'm sure it will. Like this podcast, it's basically the

1064
00:59:31,520 --> 00:59:32,480
Speaker 2: same thing I feel.

1065
00:59:35,200 --> 00:59:37,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, I you know, I was, I was struggling.

1066
00:59:37,760 --> 00:59:40,520
Speaker 4: I was journaling about it before I even started recording this,

1067
00:59:40,560 --> 00:59:43,160
Speaker 4: where I was struggling with like, uh, you know, the

1068
00:59:43,240 --> 00:59:48,920
Speaker 4: vulnerability involved in kind of putting all your eggs, taking

1069
00:59:49,120 --> 00:59:52,640
Speaker 4: taking your eggs out of the basket they've been in

1070
00:59:52,680 --> 00:59:54,600
Speaker 4: for a while and putting them into a new one.

1071
00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:57,959
Speaker 4: It's you know, there's some vulnerability there. But I think,

1072
00:59:59,640 --> 01:00:02,280
Speaker 4: I think, think, what else are you gonna do?

1073
01:00:03,680 --> 01:00:07,480
Speaker 7: True, maybe they'll hatch I don't know if that makes sense,

1074
01:00:07,560 --> 01:00:09,840
Speaker 7: but something will happen to them, something good.

1075
01:00:10,640 --> 01:00:13,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, and and and and If none of that works out,

1076
01:00:13,200 --> 01:00:15,720
Speaker 4: I'm gonna eat a lot of chocolate. I'm gonna eat

1077
01:00:15,720 --> 01:00:18,640
Speaker 4: a lot of I'm gonna eat a lot of Ben

1078
01:00:18,720 --> 01:00:19,280
Speaker 4: and Jerry's.

1079
01:00:19,280 --> 01:00:22,160
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I had I had? You ever have

1080
01:00:22,320 --> 01:00:23,640
Speaker 3: zebra cake ice cream?

1081
01:00:24,800 --> 01:00:26,320
Speaker 2: No? Is that a thing?

1082
01:00:26,680 --> 01:00:29,600
Speaker 3: It's ice cream with fucking zebra cake chunks in.

1083
01:00:29,640 --> 01:00:34,160
Speaker 7: It is zebra cake, the thing from like Debbie whatever, Yes.

1084
01:00:34,240 --> 01:00:36,840
Speaker 4: Yet Debbie, Yeah, little Debbie, zebra cakes.

1085
01:00:38,080 --> 01:00:38,320
Speaker 7: Due.

1086
01:00:38,320 --> 01:00:41,920
Speaker 2: They're just putting whatever in there. It sounds good.

1087
01:00:42,760 --> 01:00:43,320
Speaker 3: It's insane.

1088
01:00:43,320 --> 01:00:43,720
Speaker 2: Oh yeah.

1089
01:00:43,840 --> 01:00:48,880
Speaker 4: Honestly, I don't regret any I don't regret any time

1090
01:00:48,920 --> 01:00:50,959
Speaker 4: in my life that I ate zebra cake ice cream.

1091
01:00:51,240 --> 01:00:52,760
Speaker 3: I mean maybe I do a little bit. I mean

1092
01:00:52,800 --> 01:00:53,040
Speaker 3: I don't.

1093
01:00:53,200 --> 01:00:55,720
Speaker 4: I don't regret it. I'd like to move forward. I'd

1094
01:00:55,760 --> 01:00:58,320
Speaker 4: like to eat less ship. But if I don't regret it,

1095
01:00:58,360 --> 01:01:01,560
Speaker 4: if I did, it was all fine. It all happens.

1096
01:01:02,280 --> 01:01:04,440
Speaker 4: I live in the presence. I'm trying to at least.

1097
01:01:08,480 --> 01:01:11,360
Speaker 7: Yeah, man, that ice stream pretty much has never happened.

1098
01:01:11,520 --> 01:01:13,720
Speaker 7: It's fine. There's no consequences.

1099
01:01:14,160 --> 01:01:18,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, bread, was this conversation in any way, shape or

1100
01:01:18,520 --> 01:01:20,040
Speaker 4: form good or helpful for you?

1101
01:01:20,920 --> 01:01:22,440
Speaker 2: It was very much so.

1102
01:01:22,680 --> 01:01:25,720
Speaker 7: Yeah, I think it was like a slap in the face.

1103
01:01:25,760 --> 01:01:28,600
Speaker 7: It's just like, you know, just you know, don't overthink it,

1104
01:01:28,800 --> 01:01:31,520
Speaker 7: like you said, do worth of all things? Just yeah,

1105
01:01:31,720 --> 01:01:34,720
Speaker 7: you need to stop thinking so much and live. I

1106
01:01:34,760 --> 01:01:37,800
Speaker 7: guess I don't know.

1107
01:01:38,560 --> 01:01:40,360
Speaker 3: I'll tell you. I'll tell you what if if if

1108
01:01:40,400 --> 01:01:42,120
Speaker 3: you try to do that, I will try to do

1109
01:01:42,200 --> 01:01:42,600
Speaker 3: that too.

1110
01:01:43,920 --> 01:01:44,960
Speaker 2: Sounds good.

1111
01:01:46,680 --> 01:01:47,880
Speaker 4: Is there anything else you want to say to the

1112
01:01:47,920 --> 01:01:53,160
Speaker 4: people of the computer before we go? Bread Er, No, sir,

1113
01:01:54,600 --> 01:01:57,440
Speaker 4: beautiful bread, I will see you around the universe.

1114
01:01:58,240 --> 01:01:59,120
Speaker 2: Yep, same to you.

1115
01:01:59,200 --> 01:02:01,200
Speaker 3: But that was bread.

1116
01:02:01,760 --> 01:02:02,040
Speaker 1: Hello.

1117
01:02:02,440 --> 01:02:03,080
Speaker 3: Hey, what's up?

1118
01:02:03,080 --> 01:02:05,560
Speaker 6: Man? You know? Is this Lyle?

1119
01:02:06,440 --> 01:02:06,720
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1120
01:02:06,800 --> 01:02:08,000
Speaker 3: Who is this?

1121
01:02:08,000 --> 01:02:08,720
Speaker 6: This is Carler?

1122
01:02:08,840 --> 01:02:09,040
Speaker 1: Man.

1123
01:02:09,880 --> 01:02:11,520
Speaker 3: What's going on, Tyler? How's life?

1124
01:02:12,720 --> 01:02:16,000
Speaker 6: I would say it's been pretty good recently, for sure.

1125
01:02:17,560 --> 01:02:20,080
Speaker 6: I just finally got a job, finally after like six

1126
01:02:20,120 --> 01:02:21,080
Speaker 6: months of unemployment.

1127
01:02:21,600 --> 01:02:25,200
Speaker 4: Very good, very good.

1128
01:02:25,840 --> 01:02:31,800
Speaker 6: What kind of job, like like accounting, like accounts.

1129
01:02:31,160 --> 01:02:38,040
Speaker 4: Receivable, accounts receivable, that's the job from that I actually

1130
01:02:38,080 --> 01:02:43,320
Speaker 4: I just watched, Uh there's a scene from the show

1131
01:02:43,520 --> 01:02:44,520
Speaker 4: Bob's Burgers.

1132
01:02:45,720 --> 01:02:48,600
Speaker 3: Where have you ever seen this? What's on YouTube?

1133
01:02:48,720 --> 01:02:50,640
Speaker 4: I mean it's also in the show Bob's Burgers, but

1134
01:02:50,800 --> 01:02:54,840
Speaker 4: I know from YouTube where Bob has like a has

1135
01:02:54,880 --> 01:02:58,160
Speaker 4: a day dream about having a normal job after getting

1136
01:02:58,200 --> 01:03:01,200
Speaker 4: like pissed off about owning the restaurant, and he goes

1137
01:03:01,200 --> 01:03:03,240
Speaker 4: and he's like reading, he's reading a newspaper and he

1138
01:03:03,280 --> 01:03:07,440
Speaker 4: goes accounts receivable specialist. That sounds nice, and then he

1139
01:03:07,480 --> 01:03:10,040
Speaker 4: has this daydream about working in an office as an

1140
01:03:10,040 --> 01:03:11,520
Speaker 4: accounts receivable specialist.

1141
01:03:12,120 --> 01:03:12,800
Speaker 3: Have you ever seen that?

1142
01:03:14,560 --> 01:03:17,680
Speaker 6: I've watched Bobs Berger, but I haven't watched that specific clip.

1143
01:03:18,000 --> 01:03:21,080
Speaker 4: You watch it, maybe it might make you romanticize being

1144
01:03:21,120 --> 01:03:23,600
Speaker 4: an accounts receivable specialist?

1145
01:03:24,080 --> 01:03:30,000
Speaker 6: Honestly, am I for real? I mean, but yeah, I

1146
01:03:30,080 --> 01:03:34,240
Speaker 6: got yeah, No, I was just like, I mean, I

1147
01:03:34,320 --> 01:03:35,760
Speaker 6: was just gonna have to say, like, you know, I mean,

1148
01:03:36,080 --> 01:03:38,720
Speaker 6: it's not the ideal job I'm looking for, but it's

1149
01:03:38,800 --> 01:03:41,640
Speaker 6: definitely just like I mean, literally, I haven't gotten paid

1150
01:03:41,640 --> 01:03:43,840
Speaker 6: in like six months, so it feels good to like

1151
01:03:43,880 --> 01:03:44,640
Speaker 6: make money.

1152
01:03:44,360 --> 01:03:49,960
Speaker 4: Again, you feel, Tyler, I'm gonna ask, it's okay if

1153
01:03:50,000 --> 01:03:52,160
Speaker 4: not or if this was the thing, but is there

1154
01:03:52,200 --> 01:03:53,960
Speaker 4: anything in particular you called in to want I talk

1155
01:03:53,960 --> 01:03:55,840
Speaker 4: about today?

1156
01:03:57,680 --> 01:04:01,320
Speaker 6: I guess, like I don't know. I didn't expect to answer, really,

1157
01:04:01,640 --> 01:04:04,480
Speaker 6: but I mean I was just damn you know, I mean,

1158
01:04:04,600 --> 01:04:06,920
Speaker 6: I don't know. I mean particularly you know, I mean

1159
01:04:06,920 --> 01:04:09,040
Speaker 6: that that was just telling me about the good news

1160
01:04:09,040 --> 01:04:15,320
Speaker 6: of I guess my week. I guess so yeah, I mean,

1161
01:04:15,320 --> 01:04:17,720
Speaker 6: I'm I don't really have anything else really on the top.

1162
01:04:17,600 --> 01:04:19,560
Speaker 3: Of my head right now, but that's okay.

1163
01:04:19,560 --> 01:04:21,200
Speaker 6: I just want to say it's the good news and whatnot.

1164
01:04:21,520 --> 01:04:25,800
Speaker 3: That's good, that's good. What's your life like in general?

1165
01:04:29,840 --> 01:04:32,840
Speaker 6: I would say just pretty like pretty regular, I would say,

1166
01:04:32,880 --> 01:04:35,360
Speaker 6: you know, just like I guess I can the unemployed

1167
01:04:35,360 --> 01:04:40,600
Speaker 6: life I was living just like, wake up, go to

1168
01:04:40,640 --> 01:04:45,840
Speaker 6: the gym, do homework, especially like job applications, maybe smoke

1169
01:04:45,920 --> 01:04:48,800
Speaker 6: some weed. I mean, that's really kind of really my

1170
01:04:48,880 --> 01:04:50,480
Speaker 6: day really kind of every day.

1171
01:04:53,240 --> 01:04:57,480
Speaker 4: How's how's weed been for you?

1172
01:04:57,480 --> 01:05:00,280
Speaker 6: You know what? Like I'm gonna lie like I took

1173
01:05:00,320 --> 01:05:02,200
Speaker 6: like an eight hundred milligram edible like a couple of

1174
01:05:02,240 --> 01:05:05,520
Speaker 6: days ago, and I've just been mad chilling. I don't

1175
01:05:05,520 --> 01:05:07,960
Speaker 6: really smoke since then, so a couple of days.

1176
01:05:08,680 --> 01:05:11,800
Speaker 4: So so you're you're you're to tell me that you're

1177
01:05:12,120 --> 01:05:16,600
Speaker 4: currently still riding the high of that eight hundred milligram edible,

1178
01:05:16,680 --> 01:05:18,040
Speaker 4: like it hasn't worn off.

1179
01:05:19,640 --> 01:05:21,919
Speaker 6: You know what. Like the next to like I think

1180
01:05:21,960 --> 01:05:24,400
Speaker 6: like the next day, like so like keep in mind,

1181
01:05:24,440 --> 01:05:26,200
Speaker 6: like well I took it, like I took like five

1182
01:05:26,280 --> 01:05:28,680
Speaker 6: hundred milligrams of it, and I took like another three

1183
01:05:28,800 --> 01:05:32,200
Speaker 6: hundred like maybe like a couple hours later, and like

1184
01:05:33,560 --> 01:05:37,200
Speaker 6: that next day I pretty much was just sleeping pretty

1185
01:05:37,240 --> 01:05:42,760
Speaker 6: much like thirteen hours right and then and then like

1186
01:05:42,800 --> 01:05:45,120
Speaker 6: I just really haven't had the craving, I guess, because

1187
01:05:45,160 --> 01:05:46,800
Speaker 6: you know, sometimes you just have like that craving. It's

1188
01:05:46,840 --> 01:05:49,320
Speaker 6: like they don't really want to smoke right now. M

1189
01:05:49,840 --> 01:05:51,960
Speaker 6: But like I haven't had that since the edible.

1190
01:05:52,760 --> 01:05:58,880
Speaker 3: Mm so the edible just got rid of cravings, I guess.

1191
01:05:59,080 --> 01:06:01,080
Speaker 6: I mean, I mean theoretically it's kind of like a

1192
01:06:01,120 --> 01:06:03,680
Speaker 6: blessing in disguy, since I got the job, you know

1193
01:06:03,720 --> 01:06:05,800
Speaker 6: what I mean. It's like I don't feel like smoking

1194
01:06:05,800 --> 01:06:08,840
Speaker 6: weed before or after the job right now. Just kind

1195
01:06:08,840 --> 01:06:11,520
Speaker 6: of like figure out the you know, like how my

1196
01:06:11,680 --> 01:06:13,040
Speaker 6: new routine will work and whatnot.

1197
01:06:13,160 --> 01:06:19,120
Speaker 4: You feel, Yeah, I feel I feel Hmmm, Tyler, what

1198
01:06:19,160 --> 01:06:21,760
Speaker 4: do you do in your free time besides I guess

1199
01:06:21,760 --> 01:06:22,560
Speaker 4: smoke weed.

1200
01:06:24,480 --> 01:06:27,240
Speaker 6: You know what? Like I was doing like I did

1201
01:06:27,240 --> 01:06:32,280
Speaker 6: pick up ball for a little bit. Oh yeah, yeah.

1202
01:06:32,480 --> 01:06:35,080
Speaker 6: I was part of a group for like I would say,

1203
01:06:36,000 --> 01:06:39,720
Speaker 6: a good four months and then it just kind of

1204
01:06:39,760 --> 01:06:42,520
Speaker 6: disbanded randomly. So I haven't really been able to do

1205
01:06:42,640 --> 01:06:46,000
Speaker 6: that much, but I guess, like in a general sense,

1206
01:06:46,040 --> 01:06:52,760
Speaker 6: like I've done like some ikes, like the gym, I

1207
01:06:52,840 --> 01:06:55,640
Speaker 6: try to get into like puzzles and whatnot again, which

1208
01:06:55,680 --> 01:06:59,960
Speaker 6: is been kind of therapeutic, but I don't know, sometimes

1209
01:07:00,080 --> 01:07:01,960
Speaker 6: like you just got to be really locked into like

1210
01:07:02,040 --> 01:07:04,520
Speaker 6: wanting that in order to like focus.

1211
01:07:05,160 --> 01:07:06,520
Speaker 3: What kind of puzzles are we talking?

1212
01:07:08,080 --> 01:07:10,480
Speaker 6: Oh no, like the like the dollar tree puzzles, like

1213
01:07:10,520 --> 01:07:13,800
Speaker 6: the two hundred and fifty to five hundred piece puzzles

1214
01:07:13,840 --> 01:07:16,400
Speaker 6: that are like just random images probably you can sitch

1215
01:07:16,400 --> 01:07:16,840
Speaker 6: on Google.

1216
01:07:17,680 --> 01:07:20,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, puzzles are very calming, you know, they feel they

1217
01:07:20,760 --> 01:07:22,120
Speaker 4: feel productive and linear.

1218
01:07:24,400 --> 01:07:28,880
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, exactly exactly. But you know, I mean I've

1219
01:07:28,920 --> 01:07:32,240
Speaker 6: done the puzzles, like I've sometimes had like color, Like

1220
01:07:32,280 --> 01:07:35,600
Speaker 6: I've like I like have like this thing where like

1221
01:07:35,600 --> 01:07:37,480
Speaker 6: like really earlier on like this year, I was like

1222
01:07:37,480 --> 01:07:39,560
Speaker 6: I really want to get into like my creative elements

1223
01:07:39,560 --> 01:07:41,960
Speaker 6: in a sense and just like trying to just to

1224
01:07:42,440 --> 01:07:44,600
Speaker 6: expand like the left side of my brain or whatever.

1225
01:07:45,480 --> 01:07:46,760
Speaker 6: So like I kind of just bought a bunch of

1226
01:07:46,840 --> 01:07:52,040
Speaker 6: coloring books and like crosser puzzles and actual puzzles.

1227
01:07:52,840 --> 01:07:54,600
Speaker 3: What kinds of shit have you been coloring?

1228
01:07:57,800 --> 01:08:00,680
Speaker 6: It's kind of like sometimes there's like print out online.

1229
01:08:00,880 --> 01:08:04,720
Speaker 6: Sometimes there's like the coloring books themselves are just kind

1230
01:08:04,720 --> 01:08:07,680
Speaker 6: of like regular general colored books, like for example, like

1231
01:08:07,720 --> 01:08:11,800
Speaker 6: there's like one dedicated like animals, or like one decade

1232
01:08:11,840 --> 01:08:14,280
Speaker 6: just the cars. You know, just kind of like those

1233
01:08:16,080 --> 01:08:18,919
Speaker 6: kind of just basic coloring books you could just find anywhere.

1234
01:08:20,120 --> 01:08:22,040
Speaker 6: But I don't know, it kind of it is kind

1235
01:08:22,040 --> 01:08:23,679
Speaker 6: of weirdly therapeutic in a sense.

1236
01:08:25,520 --> 01:08:30,559
Speaker 4: M yeah, I gotta I gotta get on that coloring

1237
01:08:30,560 --> 01:08:35,559
Speaker 4: book ship, you know. Yeah, just something to occupy the mind, right,

1238
01:08:35,680 --> 01:08:37,040
Speaker 4: I mean that's kind of like what we were talking

1239
01:08:37,080 --> 01:08:40,040
Speaker 4: about in the previous call, is like just trying to

1240
01:08:40,080 --> 01:08:42,080
Speaker 4: not have your mind wander on shiit.

1241
01:08:43,479 --> 01:08:43,920
Speaker 6: Mm hmm.

1242
01:08:45,320 --> 01:08:47,479
Speaker 4: A video games are good for that. What are you

1243
01:08:47,479 --> 01:08:47,920
Speaker 4: gonna say?

1244
01:08:48,960 --> 01:08:49,080
Speaker 2: Oh?

1245
01:08:49,160 --> 01:08:51,040
Speaker 6: Yeah, I was just gonna say. My grandpa said this

1246
01:08:51,080 --> 01:08:53,800
Speaker 6: one quot where it's like like I don't like the

1247
01:08:53,880 --> 01:08:56,760
Speaker 6: idle mind is after about the exact quote, but it's

1248
01:08:56,760 --> 01:08:59,160
Speaker 6: like something like the idle mind is like the.

1249
01:08:59,120 --> 01:09:00,280
Speaker 1: Worst mind or something like that.

1250
01:09:00,320 --> 01:09:02,880
Speaker 6: I don't know totally like just being not preoccupied or

1251
01:09:03,000 --> 01:09:05,000
Speaker 6: not totally and you.

1252
01:09:04,960 --> 01:09:07,240
Speaker 3: Know what, you know what, you start go ahead and

1253
01:09:07,280 --> 01:09:07,840
Speaker 3: go ahead?

1254
01:09:08,160 --> 01:09:09,439
Speaker 6: No no, no, no, go ahead, no go ahead.

1255
01:09:09,680 --> 01:09:10,360
Speaker 3: Oh I was gonna.

1256
01:09:10,479 --> 01:09:14,040
Speaker 4: So you know what's funny is like some people, some

1257
01:09:14,080 --> 01:09:16,320
Speaker 4: people say the opposite of that ship. They're like, you

1258
01:09:16,360 --> 01:09:19,639
Speaker 4: can't keep doing stuff to escape your thoughts. You gotta

1259
01:09:19,840 --> 01:09:22,320
Speaker 4: improve you, guys, improve the quality of your thoughts when

1260
01:09:22,320 --> 01:09:23,240
Speaker 4: they're when you're idle.

1261
01:09:23,479 --> 01:09:25,200
Speaker 3: I think that's fucking stupid.

1262
01:09:25,400 --> 01:09:29,120
Speaker 4: You know. I think doing things to escape your thoughts

1263
01:09:30,479 --> 01:09:36,519
Speaker 4: great idea. Meditation that I mean, I'm I'm, I'm, I'm

1264
01:09:36,560 --> 01:09:38,920
Speaker 4: I'm kind of bullshitting here. I'm just being being funny,

1265
01:09:38,920 --> 01:09:42,160
Speaker 4: but uh, meditation does feel like a kind of bullshit

1266
01:09:42,240 --> 01:09:43,960
Speaker 4: in that sense of like, wait, I don't want to

1267
01:09:44,000 --> 01:09:44,599
Speaker 4: sit with my thoughts.

1268
01:09:44,640 --> 01:09:45,880
Speaker 3: I gotta avoid these guys.

1269
01:09:46,439 --> 01:09:49,040
Speaker 4: You know, I think it's just about it's about the

1270
01:09:49,200 --> 01:09:52,200
Speaker 4: quality of the thing you're doing, probably to avoid your thoughts,

1271
01:09:52,240 --> 01:09:55,840
Speaker 4: because you know, you can avoid thoughts by fucking eating

1272
01:09:55,840 --> 01:10:00,640
Speaker 4: ice cream or doing starting a fucking landscaping company. But

1273
01:10:01,400 --> 01:10:04,040
Speaker 4: it's still doing the same thing, still avoiding thoughts. That's

1274
01:10:04,040 --> 01:10:05,799
Speaker 4: why you go to work or do anything.

1275
01:10:07,960 --> 01:10:10,439
Speaker 6: Yeah, I guess. I mean, I don't know, Like I

1276
01:10:10,479 --> 01:10:13,679
Speaker 6: feel like I don't know, Like I guess, like when

1277
01:10:14,280 --> 01:10:17,280
Speaker 6: I have like those negative thoughts, sometimes I kind of

1278
01:10:17,280 --> 01:10:20,360
Speaker 6: just try to like figure out why, and then like

1279
01:10:20,880 --> 01:10:23,040
Speaker 6: when I discovered the why, then it kind of leads

1280
01:10:23,120 --> 01:10:25,160
Speaker 6: to like a whole like oh wait, I've been avoiding

1281
01:10:25,160 --> 01:10:28,320
Speaker 6: this for like years and then like and then you're like,

1282
01:10:28,400 --> 01:10:31,439
Speaker 6: oh wait, I probably should just make slowly efforts at things,

1283
01:10:31,479 --> 01:10:35,160
Speaker 6: like I'll give you an example, Like I guess, like

1284
01:10:36,280 --> 01:10:39,599
Speaker 6: I trance, like I switched to like schools online originally

1285
01:10:39,640 --> 01:10:42,080
Speaker 6: being in person, and I kind of like lost like

1286
01:10:42,160 --> 01:10:44,120
Speaker 6: that social kind of like aspect of.

1287
01:10:44,080 --> 01:10:45,839
Speaker 1: It of school and whatnot.

1288
01:10:45,920 --> 01:10:48,879
Speaker 6: So like I guess like the feeling of like loneliness

1289
01:10:48,960 --> 01:10:51,120
Speaker 6: kind of like overtakes me sometimes, so like sometimes I

1290
01:10:51,120 --> 01:10:52,960
Speaker 6: got to figure out like how to deal with the thoughts,

1291
01:10:53,080 --> 01:10:56,920
Speaker 6: like maybe not smoking weeds, just like actually like going

1292
01:10:56,960 --> 01:10:59,120
Speaker 6: out there and actually going on like a meetup kind

1293
01:10:59,120 --> 01:11:02,959
Speaker 6: of like have you've mentioned for in your previous episodes.

1294
01:11:03,240 --> 01:11:09,760
Speaker 4: M hm, did you say that you did you say

1295
01:11:09,800 --> 01:11:11,280
Speaker 4: that you went to a meet up or you thinking

1296
01:11:11,280 --> 01:11:12,160
Speaker 4: about going to a meetup?

1297
01:11:13,680 --> 01:11:15,800
Speaker 6: Oh, Like I've been to like a couple like I've

1298
01:11:16,040 --> 01:11:19,600
Speaker 6: I think it's like whenever, like well like as recently, no,

1299
01:11:20,600 --> 01:11:23,200
Speaker 6: but like within the past six months, yes, like for

1300
01:11:23,240 --> 01:11:26,439
Speaker 6: that pickleball thing. That's how I found it.

1301
01:11:27,479 --> 01:11:28,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, well that's why it's.

1302
01:11:28,760 --> 01:11:30,760
Speaker 6: Tougher in my area at least, I don't know.

1303
01:11:30,800 --> 01:11:32,320
Speaker 3: Well, what's your area.

1304
01:11:33,920 --> 01:11:38,240
Speaker 6: I'm in, like southern California where it's like kind of

1305
01:11:38,280 --> 01:11:40,519
Speaker 6: the unique culture. I mean I could kind of like,

1306
01:11:41,280 --> 01:11:43,559
Speaker 6: I mean, I could just go to LA area. It's

1307
01:11:43,600 --> 01:11:46,000
Speaker 6: like an hour for me for some better things, but

1308
01:11:46,840 --> 01:11:49,400
Speaker 6: I don't know, I'm I have to like drive everywhere.

1309
01:11:49,880 --> 01:11:51,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, so what do you mean it's I mean,

1310
01:11:51,360 --> 01:11:53,800
Speaker 4: so cal is full of I mean La is full

1311
01:11:53,840 --> 01:11:58,559
Speaker 4: of ship everywhere. M hm, you know.

1312
01:11:58,760 --> 01:12:01,240
Speaker 6: Yeah. But like but at least my area right or

1313
01:12:01,280 --> 01:12:05,479
Speaker 6: like the OC area, Like I don't know, it's like

1314
01:12:06,160 --> 01:12:09,880
Speaker 6: it's either like a bunch of like like younger families

1315
01:12:11,400 --> 01:12:14,960
Speaker 6: or just like really old people. So it's like kind

1316
01:12:14,960 --> 01:12:16,640
Speaker 6: of hard to find people my age because usually they

1317
01:12:16,640 --> 01:12:19,439
Speaker 6: moved out of the area by then, or if they did,

1318
01:12:20,000 --> 01:12:25,280
Speaker 6: or if they didn't, I don't know where to find them.

1319
01:12:26,000 --> 01:12:28,920
Speaker 3: How was the pickleball meet up?

1320
01:12:31,240 --> 01:12:35,640
Speaker 6: Yeah, so I'll try to remember as much as I can,

1321
01:12:35,720 --> 01:12:39,000
Speaker 6: but pretty much when I got there. How it first

1322
01:12:39,000 --> 01:12:41,200
Speaker 6: started was we had to like we had to like

1323
01:12:41,439 --> 01:12:45,680
Speaker 6: determine like what level of pickleball knowledge we were. I

1324
01:12:45,680 --> 01:12:47,479
Speaker 6: think it's like like it goes from like one to

1325
01:12:47,600 --> 01:12:50,800
Speaker 6: five and I barely I mean, I played tennis a

1326
01:12:50,840 --> 01:12:54,759
Speaker 6: little bit back in the day, but I wasn't really

1327
01:12:54,760 --> 01:12:57,400
Speaker 6: as like knowledgeable about the rules of pickleball, so I

1328
01:12:57,439 --> 01:12:59,360
Speaker 6: was kind of just like learning. It's like the first

1329
01:12:59,439 --> 01:13:02,160
Speaker 6: day of me going to this was like actually learning

1330
01:13:02,160 --> 01:13:05,600
Speaker 6: the sport, and then kind of like it's kind of

1331
01:13:05,680 --> 01:13:09,120
Speaker 6: turned into like just random groups revolving like you would

1332
01:13:09,160 --> 01:13:10,719
Speaker 6: be this like an hour and just you'd probably play

1333
01:13:10,720 --> 01:13:13,639
Speaker 6: like three or four games do that like once a week.

1334
01:13:15,640 --> 01:13:17,479
Speaker 6: It's pretty fun. I mean I didn't really connect with

1335
01:13:17,600 --> 01:13:22,320
Speaker 6: a lot of people at that because like I don't know,

1336
01:13:22,400 --> 01:13:23,759
Speaker 6: it's like it's it's.

1337
01:13:23,640 --> 01:13:26,400
Speaker 4: Well, well, well, well, well, Here's one thing that I

1338
01:13:26,400 --> 01:13:28,280
Speaker 4: think people don't realize when they go to meetups or

1339
01:13:28,360 --> 01:13:32,240
Speaker 4: shit like that, is that you don't if if you

1340
01:13:32,320 --> 01:13:34,880
Speaker 4: go to a thing like that and you instantly make

1341
01:13:34,960 --> 01:13:39,519
Speaker 4: a bunch of friends and uh, everything instantly feels amazing, then.

1342
01:13:39,360 --> 01:13:41,519
Speaker 3: You got very lucky.

1343
01:13:41,720 --> 01:13:41,920
Speaker 1: Right.

1344
01:13:42,720 --> 01:13:46,360
Speaker 4: You're supposed to the like you don't that shoul didn't

1345
01:13:46,400 --> 01:13:51,280
Speaker 4: happen overnight. Like you join communities by repeatedly being a

1346
01:13:51,320 --> 01:13:53,720
Speaker 4: part of them. So you you can't like just go

1347
01:13:53,800 --> 01:13:56,479
Speaker 4: to one thing and then see that it already has

1348
01:13:56,520 --> 01:13:58,360
Speaker 4: You can't because I think like a lot of people,

1349
01:13:58,360 --> 01:14:00,200
Speaker 4: like they go to one thing and then they see

1350
01:14:00,240 --> 01:14:02,720
Speaker 4: that it already has its own culture and whatnot, and

1351
01:14:02,760 --> 01:14:05,040
Speaker 4: then they feel isolated from that culture and then they

1352
01:14:05,080 --> 01:14:06,400
Speaker 4: go home and they're like, I don't know if I

1353
01:14:06,400 --> 01:14:06,800
Speaker 4: ever want.

1354
01:14:06,720 --> 01:14:07,200
Speaker 3: To do that again.

1355
01:14:07,240 --> 01:14:10,360
Speaker 4: But that's because you're you have way too many expectations

1356
01:14:10,400 --> 01:14:12,479
Speaker 4: from the first thing. You got to kind of find

1357
01:14:12,479 --> 01:14:16,519
Speaker 4: a thing that you're repeatedly showing up to, and even then,

1358
01:14:16,560 --> 01:14:17,439
Speaker 4: it doesn't take that long.

1359
01:14:17,840 --> 01:14:21,680
Speaker 3: Really, it doesn't take that long, you know.

1360
01:14:21,760 --> 01:14:23,320
Speaker 4: I mean if you go to the se because if

1361
01:14:23,320 --> 01:14:27,000
Speaker 4: you go to the same fucking pickleball thing, you know

1362
01:14:27,080 --> 01:14:31,880
Speaker 4: once a week for six months, you know you're you're

1363
01:14:31,880 --> 01:14:32,439
Speaker 4: in the clear.

1364
01:14:34,479 --> 01:14:38,320
Speaker 6: No, you're absolutely right, Like I definitely believe that. I

1365
01:14:38,400 --> 01:14:42,880
Speaker 6: definitely do that, honestly. And yeah, I mean, like the

1366
01:14:43,000 --> 01:14:45,479
Speaker 6: pickleball is a unique situation since the it just got

1367
01:14:45,479 --> 01:14:49,639
Speaker 6: disbanded and just disappeared. But like, yeah, like i I've

1368
01:14:49,640 --> 01:14:52,080
Speaker 6: been trying to learn to like have that expectation kind

1369
01:14:52,080 --> 01:14:53,400
Speaker 6: of go down where like, you know, I'm not going

1370
01:14:53,439 --> 01:14:55,680
Speaker 6: to be friends with everyone immediately, but if I do,

1371
01:14:55,760 --> 01:14:58,280
Speaker 6: that'd be nice. But you know, it's just it's just

1372
01:14:58,360 --> 01:15:01,760
Speaker 6: kind of being consistent regular. It's kind of like the

1373
01:15:02,360 --> 01:15:06,080
Speaker 6: big kind of key component. It's like the meeting community

1374
01:15:06,120 --> 01:15:07,840
Speaker 6: is just being consistent with where you're going to.

1375
01:15:08,439 --> 01:15:09,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree with that.

1376
01:15:11,880 --> 01:15:15,640
Speaker 4: What did you say your name was, Jacob Kyler?

1377
01:15:16,040 --> 01:15:19,920
Speaker 6: Fuck you?

1378
01:15:20,760 --> 01:15:23,200
Speaker 4: No, Well, it's annoying because if you came up to

1379
01:15:23,240 --> 01:15:25,800
Speaker 4: me in three years and you were like, yo, we

1380
01:15:25,840 --> 01:15:28,480
Speaker 4: talked about how I went to meet people at a pickleball,

1381
01:15:28,520 --> 01:15:30,280
Speaker 4: I'd be like, yeah, I do remember that, but I

1382
01:15:30,320 --> 01:15:34,479
Speaker 4: won't I won't remember what the I honestly, I honestly,

1383
01:15:34,520 --> 01:15:37,240
Speaker 4: I don't apologize for not for forgetting the names. I

1384
01:15:37,280 --> 01:15:40,000
Speaker 4: remember the things, but I don't remember any names. It

1385
01:15:40,120 --> 01:15:42,080
Speaker 4: just is a thing you.

1386
01:15:42,160 --> 01:15:44,320
Speaker 6: I'll go with me. Man, you probably talked to some people.

1387
01:15:44,479 --> 01:15:46,519
Speaker 4: You're probably no, it's not even it's not even that.

1388
01:15:46,600 --> 01:15:49,839
Speaker 3: It's not even that. It's not even that Kyler.

1389
01:15:51,360 --> 01:15:53,439
Speaker 4: Yes, because I talked to so many people, but I

1390
01:15:53,520 --> 01:15:55,479
Speaker 4: remember a lot of the I don't know why I'm

1391
01:15:55,520 --> 01:15:58,479
Speaker 4: getting upset right now. I remember a lot of the thing.

1392
01:15:58,720 --> 01:16:02,880
Speaker 4: I remember the things, the conversations, but I just like

1393
01:16:03,040 --> 01:16:07,599
Speaker 4: names or not. You know, I forget names of people

1394
01:16:07,640 --> 01:16:09,160
Speaker 4: that I know in real life all the time.

1395
01:16:10,720 --> 01:16:12,240
Speaker 6: Wasn't there like a time when you're like, I'm just

1396
01:16:12,240 --> 01:16:15,599
Speaker 6: gonna call people caller, Like, I'm not gonna remember names,

1397
01:16:15,920 --> 01:16:21,320
Speaker 6: call people call her. Yeah, but but hey, it's all good.

1398
01:16:23,760 --> 01:16:25,719
Speaker 3: You know what. What's your name is, Kyler?

1399
01:16:27,080 --> 01:16:28,600
Speaker 6: Yep, you got it.

1400
01:16:28,680 --> 01:16:29,840
Speaker 4: Is there anything else you want to say to the

1401
01:16:29,840 --> 01:16:31,040
Speaker 4: people of the computer before we go.

1402
01:16:33,760 --> 01:16:35,680
Speaker 6: Just be consistent with what you want to do with

1403
01:16:35,680 --> 01:16:38,719
Speaker 6: your life, and things will hopefully happen.

1404
01:16:40,080 --> 01:16:43,240
Speaker 4: Thank you, Kyler, have a good rest of your entire existence.

1405
01:16:43,280 --> 01:16:48,479
Speaker 6: Appreciate it. Get blessed by Kyler goes on the line, thinking,

1406
01:16:49,520 --> 01:16:50,200
Speaker 6: every night.

1407
01:16:50,439 --> 01:16:53,120
Speaker 3: Everything goes to teaching you.

1408
01:16:53,680 --> 01:16:53,720
Speaker 4: The