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Speaker 1: It's a fresh show.

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Speaker 2: All right, the honorable is here, Judge Kiki, Hey take

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Speaker 2: it away.

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Speaker 1: Let's get into this court. I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I don't know how like high quality this for is.

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Speaker 2: So be careful banging on it.

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Speaker 3: Oh, this is very highsout you bang it on.

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Speaker 1: I have to think. I can't see. I'm just I'm

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Speaker 1: worried about.

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Speaker 4: Our It's an official setup over here. Okay, look in

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Speaker 4: the courtroom. All right, all right, now it says my

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Speaker 4: name is Deanna. My husband left me for my kids

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Speaker 4: dance instructor. We've been divorced a year now, and he's

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Speaker 4: already engaged to said dance instructor.

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Speaker 1: Clearly they were cheating while we were married.

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Speaker 4: So this has obviously been a hard transition for my daughters,

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Speaker 4: but thankfully both my family and my ex husband's family

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Speaker 4: have been really supportive until last week. Every year, my

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Speaker 4: in laws hosts a big family photo shoot for the

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Speaker 4: annual holiday card. I wasn't sure how this year was

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Speaker 4: gonna go, but thankfully my in law still invited me

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Speaker 4: to be a part of the photo well. To my surprise,

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Speaker 4: when I arrived with my daughters for the photos, my

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Speaker 4: ex and his new fiance were also there. I was devastated,

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Speaker 4: but tried to hold it together for my kids. However,

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Speaker 4: when we started taking separate family photos, the photographer instructed

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Speaker 4: the parents to join the photo with their kids. When

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Speaker 4: I stepped into the photo, so did my ex and

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Speaker 4: his fiance.

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Speaker 1: At that moment, I lost it.

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Speaker 4: I burst into tears in front of everyone and immediately grabbed.

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Speaker 1: My kids and left.

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Speaker 4: My sister in law sent me a very long text

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Speaker 4: saying that I should apologize to everyone for overreacting, but

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Speaker 4: I feel like I was set up and no one

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Speaker 4: cared about how this whole thing would affect me. His

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Speaker 4: fiance should not even be there. She is not his

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Speaker 4: wife yet, Am I wrong? Judge Kikiana Deanna? Breakups are hard.

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Speaker 4: Divorces I can imagine are even harder, especially when you

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Speaker 4: have children. But you are responsible for your own triggers, okay,

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Speaker 4: and it was a nice gesture that his family invited

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Speaker 4: you to be a part of the photo. However, you

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Speaker 4: are responsible for your triggers. You had to You should

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Speaker 4: have processed that in your mind, what it would have

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Speaker 4: been like for you to go to that photo shoot

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Speaker 4: and be a part of that photo with his new

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Speaker 4: fiance or even if the fiance wasn't there, how would

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Speaker 4: you have felt being in.

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Speaker 1: The photo with him?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, you guys have gone through a divorce,

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Speaker 4: you have two kids together. Obviously there's a lot of

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Speaker 4: hurt there. It's only been one year. But his family

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Speaker 4: is not responsible for your triggers. As it relates to

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Speaker 4: your divorce. You have to be responsible for that. And

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Speaker 4: if you weren't strong, you felt you weren't going to

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Speaker 4: be strong enough to be in the same room with

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Speaker 4: that woman, let alone her. I mean, I can't imagine

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Speaker 4: me stepping in a photo with my kids and then

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Speaker 4: the dance instructed has been cheating with my husband steps

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Speaker 4: forward too, Like I probably would have started swinging.

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Speaker 2: But she be a picture with the kids though she

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Speaker 2: had not do with the kids. Well, the that's her

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Speaker 2: husband's family.

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Speaker 4: That's her fiance. Now the ex husband is now engaged

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Speaker 4: to the dance instructor. So she when they said parents

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Speaker 4: step into the photo with the kids, him and the

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Speaker 4: fiance stepped right up along.

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Speaker 1: With this poor woman.

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Speaker 4: So, Deanna, I know how it must have felt, girl,

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Speaker 4: but you are responsible for that, doesn't.

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Speaker 2: The mother of the children, of the grandkids, and the

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Speaker 2: nieces and the nephews and whatever. Doesn't she get if

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Speaker 2: she's a decent person, especially if she was wronged. Was

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Speaker 2: there really like and I'm sorry if I missed this part,

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Speaker 2: she really cheated?

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Speaker 1: She said, Well, he really cheated with the dances.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean doesn't that woman get some sort of

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Speaker 2: elevated status in the family. Yes, because she's the mother

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Speaker 2: of the grandkids, nieces and nephetw So, like, wouldn't other

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Speaker 2: people in the family want to protect her interest above

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Speaker 2: and beyond the new fiance. Like, I'm not saying it's fair,

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Speaker 2: but because in this scenario, she's the mother of the children,

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Speaker 2: we got it.

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Speaker 4: We gotta look out for her absolutely, and I think

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Speaker 4: that's why they extended the invite to include her into

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Speaker 4: the photo.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's not her family, that's that's her ex

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Speaker 3: husband's family.

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Speaker 2: So well, it's her family now, because again, if you

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Speaker 2: want access to the grandkids, you got to go through her.

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Speaker 3: Like for me, if if I was in that situation,

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Speaker 3: I would have like, just let the kids be in

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Speaker 3: the photos. I would have been like, here, I'll bring

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Speaker 3: the children. You be in the photo with your dad

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Speaker 3: and whatever you want to do. I'm not going to

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Speaker 3: be in these photos. I'm not part of your family anymore,

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Speaker 3: does you know, just because like I'm the parent of

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Speaker 3: your grandkids, like I would.

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Speaker 2: Put my kids is part of the family still, like

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Speaker 2: you can't, you don't get here. As long as there

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Speaker 2: are kids involved. Then in a healthy situation, then she

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Speaker 2: may not be with the son anymore. But you don't

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Speaker 2: just exclude her or make her feel bad, because again,

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Speaker 2: she is the gateway, part of the gateway to the grandkids.

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Speaker 1: And she can politely decline if she didn't want to

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Speaker 1: do it.

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Speaker 2: If my brother in law and my sister break up,

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Speaker 2: and it's just because God forbid, and it's just because

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Speaker 2: they just decided to go their separate ways amicably, and

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Speaker 2: they're both you know, co parenting and doing a great job.

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Speaker 2: That dude is still a member of our family. He's

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Speaker 2: still we still have to be.

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Speaker 1: Kind to you. You're gonna if Amanda has a new fiance, yeah, boy,

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Speaker 1: are you like then?

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Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know, but it's it's she He's

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Speaker 2: still the father of my nieces and of the grandkids.

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Speaker 2: And again, if he screws up, then he isn't even

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Speaker 2: getting invited to this right right, So that there's that,

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Speaker 2: but like, we gotta respect his role in this, Like

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Speaker 2: he's fifty percent of these kids.

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Speaker 4: And I think the family is respecting her. I think

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Speaker 4: they are trying to show her love. However, it is

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Speaker 4: not the family's responsibility to monitor your triggers. You were

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Speaker 4: triggered by seeing your ex with that woman, you were

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Speaker 4: triggered by seeing that woman step into your family photo.

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Speaker 1: But it's not on the family. You know.

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Speaker 4: They just extended the invite because they still love you,

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Speaker 4: still care for you.

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Speaker 1: But they can't, you know.

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Speaker 2: And you guys are the jury, by the way, Well,

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Speaker 2: I guess we are too. Eight five five, nine, one

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Speaker 2: one three five. Yeah, somebody texted this, and I agree.

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Speaker 2: I think the fiance probably should have just stayed out

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Speaker 2: of it.

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Speaker 1: That's what I think. I agree.

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Speaker 2: I think should have been like you know what, I'm not.

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Speaker 2: I'm not yet officially part of this unit. I have

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Speaker 2: nothing to do with these kids, right, I have nothing

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Speaker 2: to do with you know, the grandparents and the rest

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Speaker 2: of it. So I don't need to be in these

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Speaker 2: pictures yet, Like, let me immerse myself with this group,

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Speaker 2: because I again, I think the mother in this case

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Speaker 2: has elevated status.

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Speaker 1: I do she should have it.

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Speaker 4: But if her husband or ex husband isn't willing to

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Speaker 4: put her in that, you know what I'm saying, Like,

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Speaker 4: he's not protecting her as his ex wife and the

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Speaker 4: mother of his children. He's inviting this new woman into

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Speaker 4: the picture without taking into consideration his ex wife's feelings.

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Speaker 1: But that's why he's an ex girl, you know you

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Speaker 1: But he has.

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Speaker 5: That right to bring the fiance into the photos, you know, Like.

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Speaker 1: That's it doesn't feel good though, I wouldn't like him.

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Speaker 3: Right, she's current though, you know what I'm saying, Like,

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Speaker 3: so his ex wife, we're acting like the mother of

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Speaker 3: the kids is dead. And the other thing is it

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Speaker 3: just happened.

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Speaker 2: It happens a lot in families. But it sounds like

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Speaker 2: this woman was also wronged. She was, she was so

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Speaker 2: that if I'm the grandparents here planning this photo shoot,

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Speaker 2: my son act a full acted a fool. Yeah, And

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Speaker 2: and I mean, I'm always gonna pick my I'm always

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Speaker 2: gonna pick my kid. I'm always gonna pick my sister

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Speaker 2: in this case. But if she especially if she messed

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Speaker 2: around to something bad to Colin, I'm gonna probably be

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Speaker 2: pretty careful with how he feels about all this because

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Speaker 2: he didn't do anything. Hypothetically, this woman didn't do anything,

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Speaker 2: Why does she deserve to bring her kids and then

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Speaker 2: feel uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: I don't like it.

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Speaker 3: Well, you always like the mom like whatever the ex

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Speaker 3: husband's mind. They're always gonna pick family over anything like

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Speaker 3: That's why I don't. We're saying a situation, Fred, like

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Speaker 3: if if your sister and Colin were to break up,

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Speaker 3: like you're still gonna hang out with this man, You're

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Speaker 3: gonna go against.

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Speaker 5: Your sister and be like, yo, I'm stinge fen of Colin.

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Speaker 2: I told you that I gave you the parameters, like

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Speaker 2: if they if they just part ways amicably say hey,

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Speaker 2: you know what, it isn't for us anymore. We still

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Speaker 2: love each other, you know, we're consciously uncoupling, and we're

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Speaker 2: gonna co parents, gonna be healthy. Then I think the

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Speaker 2: healthiest thing to do is not to alienate the kid's

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Speaker 2: father because he didn't do anything. Now, if he goes

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Speaker 2: and screws around, now I will say this, Let's say

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Speaker 2: he again. I hate using my own family, but let's

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Speaker 2: let's say he does something crappy. Let's say he cheats

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Speaker 2: or whatever. Now I'm gonna kill him, so he'll be

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Speaker 2: dead so it won't matter. But let's say I don't

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Speaker 2: kill him. I'm oh god, it would take everything I have,

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Speaker 2: but I would have to in situations where the girls

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Speaker 2: were around and he was around, I would have to

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Speaker 2: do my very best not to disrespect him in front

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Speaker 2: of them because they didn't do anything wrong. So the

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Speaker 2: bottom line is the adults seemed to adult here and

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Speaker 2: they weren't.

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Speaker 3: But in Kiki's offense, you gotta know your triggers. You

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Speaker 3: gotta know that's gonna make that's gonna piss you off.

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Speaker 3: Then then don't don't jump in that photo. Just step

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Speaker 3: back and let your ex husband have a photo with

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Speaker 3: the Beyonce and your kids. Like you got invited, you

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Speaker 3: did the family photo, but you got to know that

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Speaker 3: that situation in your head was gonna come up at

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Speaker 3: some point because you've done this family photo so many years.

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Speaker 3: They have a family, You do a picture with your

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Speaker 3: kids and your husband, like, you have to know that's

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Speaker 3: gonna happen and you have to be strong in that situation.

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Speaker 2: I will say this, and I've been in this, not

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Speaker 2: not personally, but I've been privy to this situation where

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Speaker 2: it almost becomes problematic when you've got somebody who makes

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Speaker 2: creates life with another person and then that doesn't work anymore.

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Speaker 2: But the family is sort of ingratiated with that person,

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Speaker 2: and that's the mother of the grandkids. And then you

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Speaker 2: bring in a new person, and in a lot of cases,

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Speaker 2: that other new person feels less than yeah, because they

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Speaker 2: didn't make the kid, and the person who made the

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Speaker 2: kid gets more respect because well, that's the mother of

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Speaker 2: the kids, and we respect we love the kids, and

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Speaker 2: we want the kids, and you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 2: So I guess I can see over compensating for the

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Speaker 2: new member. But y'all messed around. Supposedly they not only

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Speaker 2: that they were cheating.

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Speaker 1: Right, and she was the kid's dance instructor.

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Speaker 2: So if I'm that woman, I don't want I'm I'm

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Speaker 2: not even gonna be involved with this photo shoot.

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Speaker 4: I don't know what I'm saying. I feel like she

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Speaker 4: should have just stayed stayed out of it.

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Speaker 1: You know, I think I agree. I agree. Hey, Sherry,

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Speaker 1: good morning, good morning.

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Speaker 6: How's it going with you, Fred?

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Speaker 2: Well, I mean, that's that's the place to be, honestly,

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Speaker 2: but yeah, that's you're a very intelligent person.

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Speaker 1: I moved.

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Speaker 6: I moved here twenty five years ago, Indiana, from California,

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Speaker 6: and my husband ended up having like an emotional affair

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Speaker 6: with my best friend, which I didn't realize. I trusted

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Speaker 6: both of them until all my other friends started telling me,

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Speaker 6: you're blind, and so we ended up breaking up, and

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Speaker 6: I moved out and my mother in law married for

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Speaker 6: nineteen years.

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Speaker 7: Let me tell you, nineteen years, three kids. My mother

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Speaker 7: in law, who I was a very good daughter in

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Speaker 7: law too, and my kids are her only grandkids, comes

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Speaker 7: out to visit from Napa Valley, and I'm out of

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Speaker 7: the house, the house that my name is still on

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Speaker 7: the indeed, and we've only been broken up a couple months,

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Speaker 7: not even in divorce proceedings. And I go there to

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Speaker 7: bring something to my.

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Speaker 8: Girls, and that chick is car is in my driveway.

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Speaker 8: I don't live there anymore, but still that's my house

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Speaker 8: and my mother in law is there, and I pull

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Speaker 8: up and they're all in the car together, my husband,

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Speaker 8: my mother in law, this chick, and my kid in

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Speaker 8: the backseat. And I loved what you said, Kiki about triggers,

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Speaker 8: but I didn't realize I was going to come upon

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Speaker 8: this situation and I blew it.

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Speaker 7: But I loved what you were saying about Trigger's Kiki,

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Speaker 7: because I did do a lot in that time period

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Speaker 7: of my life. It was a horrible time for me.

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Speaker 7: This is thirteen years ago now, but I.

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Speaker 8: Blew up and I made all my kids get out

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Speaker 8: of the car, and I looked like a crazy lady.

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Speaker 2: I do think Sherry Shary, with all the respect, I

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Speaker 2: do think it's a little bit. It's a little different

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Speaker 2: than the situation you're describing here because I mean, and

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Speaker 2: I'm not saying that it hurt any less, but in theory,

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Speaker 2: they were doing their own thing on their time, right.

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Speaker 1: They didn't.

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Speaker 2: They didn't invite you to be part of something and

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Speaker 2: then include the side piece.

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Speaker 1: Like it correct.

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Speaker 2: I get the fact that when people get divorced, each

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Speaker 2: party has a right to move on, and each party

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Speaker 2: is going to move on, and I get that that

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Speaker 2: can cause problems. My favorite is when somebody breaks up

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Speaker 2: with someone else and then and I know this one

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Speaker 2: all too well, and then the person who did the

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Speaker 2: breaking up and did all the nefarious, mean bad stuff

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Speaker 2: now has a problem with the person who they did

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Speaker 2: it to moving on. It's like, oh no, Oh you

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Speaker 2: want to Oh you want to meet another man. Oh

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Speaker 2: you want to marry another guy. Oh you wanted that

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Speaker 2: got to be around our kids? Oh no, I have

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Speaker 2: a problem with that. Well then why were you cheating?

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Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Like you could You didn't

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Speaker 1: have to do any of this.

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Speaker 2: So I see both sides of your situation, Sherry, But

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Speaker 2: I got to move on to the next person. Thank

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Speaker 2: you for calling. Yeah, yeah, have a good day. Now

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Speaker 2: see that. I would imagine that's very hurtful. But in

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Speaker 2: this case, she walked up on them and they're all

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Speaker 2: trying to create their own unit now over here. But

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Speaker 2: if they had invited her to a picnic and then

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Speaker 2: alienated her, that's what this situation sounds like.

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Speaker 1: But the family didn't alienate her.

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Speaker 4: The family invited her because they love her and they

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Speaker 4: respect her, and they want her to be included.

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Speaker 1: They can't control their son's new situation. Is it Katherine?

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Speaker 9: It's Catherine.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what.

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Speaker 2: I've never seen Catherine spell that way in my life.

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Speaker 2: Bellahamine k A H R E E N. She was confused,

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Speaker 2: that's okay, anyway, you know, I'm often confused.

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Speaker 9: I have been divorced one here. I completely disagree with you. Fred,

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Speaker 9: I'm sorry, but I.

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Speaker 1: Saw I know. Go ahead, though, what do you want

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Speaker 1: to say?

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Speaker 9: Do you hear me?

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Speaker 1: Yes? But Noia, we can hear you. What was your

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Speaker 1: what'd you want.

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Speaker 5: To hurry up?

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Speaker 4: Sorry?

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Speaker 9: Sorry? So, Britt, I just disagree with you. I think

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Speaker 9: what's going to divorce your divorcing from the family. I

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Speaker 9: think it was really nice that if they invited her,

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Speaker 9: But if I was her, I would not go because

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Speaker 9: I mean, he's engaged. It's not like their boyfriend and

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Speaker 9: girlfriend like she's going to be in the pictures. They're

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Speaker 9: going to be pro family. I don't think that the

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Speaker 9: ex wife should be in the pictures.

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Speaker 2: Heesaid they should. I disagree with you that she's not

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Speaker 2: part of the family. But what I would say is

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Speaker 2: then just they drop the kids off, we're doing a

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Speaker 2: photo shoot, and and then you don't come in like

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Speaker 2: you're not you know what I mean, because it doesn't

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Speaker 2: involve you anymore. If you're going to involve her in something,

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Speaker 2: then don't rub it in her face.

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Speaker 1: But then no one is rubbing anything hit her face.

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Speaker 1: Why does she need to be there?

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Speaker 2: She's the accent she was cheated on and now you're

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Speaker 2: bringing her and the kids into a situation where she's

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Speaker 2: going to be uncomfortable. You have to respect the fact

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Speaker 2: this is the mother of the children.

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Speaker 4: But had I not given her the invite or the

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Speaker 4: option to come, then you would say she's there aliena right.

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Speaker 4: They're just respecting her, so they gave her the option.

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Speaker 4: It's just I can't control what's gonna make you.

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Speaker 1: Upset that day.

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Speaker 2: But Kiki as the as the father of the children,

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Speaker 2: he has he's entitled to his own time without her.

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Speaker 2: They should have done that on their time and not

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Speaker 2: on time where she was there. She didn't need to

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Speaker 2: beet that. It's weird. Why is the mother and the

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Speaker 2: and the side piece in the same picture. That doesn't

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Speaker 2: make any doesn't need to happen like that, Like there's.

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Speaker 5: No like you have you you said it for like

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Speaker 5: everyone has.

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Speaker 1: To be an adult.

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Speaker 3: She had to be an adult in that situation, Like

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Speaker 3: you know that situation was gonna come up. Just if

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Speaker 3: you don't want to be comfortable taking that photo, then

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Speaker 3: don't take that photo. But the invite was there. You

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Speaker 3: took the family photo well, and and then and then yeah,

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Speaker 3: that's their family dynamic now and that's what Okay.

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Speaker 2: I live with Kathleen, thank you have a good day.

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Speaker 2: Not Katherine. I don't know her.

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Speaker 1: I don't know her.

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Speaker 2: But like Caitlyn, you've been in this you live this life,

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Speaker 2: and so have I. When my parents got divorced, you know,

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Speaker 2: each party tried to develop their own new life. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: nobody was being invited for pictures that overlapped, you know,

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Speaker 2: like my family picture with my stepdad, adopted dad and

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Speaker 2: my mom and my sister did not include my father

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Speaker 2: in one of his many side pieces, like it just didn't.

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Speaker 2: And then when he wanted to go do his own

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Speaker 2: thing and like tried to force a family with his

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Speaker 2: side piece and all her kids. Then then my mom

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Speaker 2: wasn't invited into that, you know, like it was. It

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Speaker 2: was completely separate. But if you're going to bring them

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Speaker 2: all together, especially if there was infidelity, that's just cruel.

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Speaker 4: So you say, don't invite the family, should not have

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Speaker 4: invited the ex wife at all.

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Speaker 2: If she's if you're not going to consider her a

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Speaker 2: part of the family and you're not going to respect

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Speaker 2: her needs, then drop the kids off.

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Speaker 1: They did not.

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Speaker 3: They invited the photo bread When I'm saying don't so

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Speaker 3: then that would have been the alienating part, is what

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Speaker 3: you're saying.

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Speaker 5: They weren't alienating her at all.

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Speaker 2: They ruvil You're just arguing. My point is that she

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Speaker 2: doesn't need to be a part of it. There's two

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Speaker 2: separate units. I don't know why you're trying to put

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Speaker 2: them together.

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Speaker 5: But if they don't invite her, then that's the alienating part.

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Speaker 2: They don't have to invite her. They're allowed to have

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Speaker 2: their own family unit over here. That has nothing to

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Speaker 2: do with it. It's the overlap that's the problem.

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Speaker 3: You're saying they're not considering her family. They did consider

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Speaker 3: family because they invited her. Yes, so she's still part

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Speaker 3: of the family. She just couldn't handle the trigger of

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Speaker 3: the photo.

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Speaker 8: But she didn't like That's the thing he's just saying, basically,

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Speaker 8: like that, it's not alienation or if they didn't.

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Speaker 4: Invite her, they still love and respect her, But she

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Speaker 4: didn't have to be a part of this little rob.

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Speaker 1: She doesn't have to be a part of their family picture. Correct.

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Speaker 3: That's on her to decline the invite, not at all.

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Speaker 1: Guys, what if they didn't invite her?

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Speaker 4: Right the next thing you know, she sees a family

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Speaker 4: photo of her kids in this woman, her.

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Speaker 2: Husband, she has say she has no control over that.

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Speaker 2: It sucks, but she has no control over that. The

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Speaker 2: same way that if she has a boyfriend or a

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Speaker 2: new husband, and and she wants to take family pictures

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Speaker 2: with with the kids that aren't his in it, I

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Speaker 2: mean that then he has to deal with that.

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Speaker 1: May issue is I don't know why she was there.

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Speaker 1: I don't know why she was there.

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Speaker 2: Family still loves her, Okay, but in this particular case,

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Speaker 2: in this particular case, this one instance, she didn't need

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Speaker 2: to be there.

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Speaker 1: It could have been on their time.

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Speaker 4: And then so we agree because I said, she should

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Speaker 4: have just said if she wasn't gonna be able to

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Speaker 4: handle being in that room with all of those people,

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Speaker 4: she should have said no to the invite.

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Speaker 2: I guess so maybe, okay, we're saying the same thing.

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Speaker 1: I guess that A Sorry, Dianne, I'm sorry this happened

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Speaker 1: to you girls. It really is horrible. I don't like it.

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Speaker 4: Breaking up with families is hard. After I break up,

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Speaker 4: if you really love your in laws, is very hard.

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Speaker 2: Don't try and force a family unit out of your

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Speaker 2: son and his and the woman he cheated with and

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Speaker 2: the mother of your grandkids. If you have any respect

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Speaker 2: for your grandkids, then you wouldn't have even put her

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Speaker 2: in that position to begin with. Okay, so there the

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Speaker 2: entertainment report. We'll do it next after Dojakat. In two minutes,

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Speaker 2: the friend shows on