WEBVTT - Keeping Up With The Kids 0:00:00.640 --> 0:00:06.480 Parents. If you think you know your kids, you. 0:00:06.400 --> 0:00:10.840 Don't, dead ass, because I remember when Lord. 0:00:13.760 --> 0:00:18.000 And I refuse to become that mom that refers to 0:00:18.400 --> 0:00:23.880 various apps and social media platforms as the Facebook. Can 0:00:23.920 --> 0:00:27.960 you hit me on what's up? Don't let me be 0:00:28.080 --> 0:00:34.040 that girl? I cannot be that mom. Y'all dead ass. Hey, 0:00:34.120 --> 0:00:37.240 I'm Kadeen and and we're the Ellis's. 0:00:38.200 --> 0:00:40.400 You may know us from posting funny videos. 0:00:40.000 --> 0:00:43.560 With our boys and reading each other publicly as a. 0:00:43.479 --> 0:00:44.360 Form of therpy. 0:00:44.960 --> 0:00:45.160 Wait. 0:00:45.200 --> 0:00:47.479 I make you need therby most days. 0:00:47.840 --> 0:00:48.280 Wow. 0:00:48.520 --> 0:00:51.040 Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married. 0:00:50.800 --> 0:00:51.599 Yes, sir, we are. 0:00:52.120 --> 0:00:55.000 We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of 0:00:55.040 --> 0:00:56.880 li's most taboo topics. 0:00:56.520 --> 0:00:59.160 Things most folks don't want to talk about. 0:00:59.400 --> 0:01:00.880 The lens of the lend you marry a couple. 0:01:01.040 --> 0:01:03.160 Dead ass is a term that we say every day. 0:01:03.320 --> 0:01:06.400 So when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts 0:01:06.840 --> 0:01:09.960 one hundred, the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but 0:01:10.080 --> 0:01:12.640 the truth. Were about to take philosoff to our whole 0:01:12.680 --> 0:01:13.160 new level. 0:01:15.360 --> 0:01:17.400 Dead ass starts right now. 0:01:19.640 --> 0:01:20.679 Okay, story time. 0:01:22.120 --> 0:01:26.839 Now, I'm known for telling stories about my young athletes, 0:01:27.400 --> 0:01:30.759 but this time in particular, I'm going to tell story 0:01:30.800 --> 0:01:36.120 about different set of athletes. My female athletes, and the 0:01:36.240 --> 0:01:39.880 young female athletes move different than the young male athletes. 0:01:40.640 --> 0:01:44.960 I noticed that they were way more sneaky. Right in 0:01:44.959 --> 0:01:48.360 this particular time, all of the parents and I were 0:01:48.360 --> 0:01:50.440 all we were all friends because we also did our 0:01:50.520 --> 0:01:53.160 own training sessions. And I remember they tried to run 0:01:53.200 --> 0:01:55.520 the okie dog, and the okie dog was you tell 0:01:55.520 --> 0:01:57.800 one set of parents you staying at their house, and 0:01:57.880 --> 0:01:59.720 you tell those set of parents that you staying at 0:01:59.720 --> 0:02:03.040 another parent's house. Meanwhile, all of the kids are going 0:02:03.080 --> 0:02:05.000 to a party, thinking that none of the parents are 0:02:05.000 --> 0:02:07.520 gonna check in. And I remember there was one parent 0:02:07.520 --> 0:02:11.480 in particular. She was a younger single mom. She had 0:02:11.520 --> 0:02:14.560 access to the snapchats. 0:02:14.400 --> 0:02:19.160 And I said, the snapchats for a reason, the several snapchats, several. 0:02:18.919 --> 0:02:23.000 Snapchats, and she happened to check the snapchats and realize 0:02:23.800 --> 0:02:28.359 that all of the girls were at a party. So 0:02:29.040 --> 0:02:31.600 she didn't do like they do on the sitcoms and 0:02:31.680 --> 0:02:34.680 waited home and tried to catch the girls in the line. 0:02:34.720 --> 0:02:35.760 No, she got in. 0:02:35.760 --> 0:02:36.760 Her car, Oh she didn't. 0:02:38.360 --> 0:02:41.960 She got in the car and popped up knock knocked 0:02:42.000 --> 0:02:46.120 on the door, walked in there and snatched them girls 0:02:46.200 --> 0:02:49.079 up out of that party, like the most embarrassing thing 0:02:49.160 --> 0:02:52.080 a mom can do on the most embassing when she 0:02:52.120 --> 0:02:54.840 snatched them girls out and then brought them to training 0:02:55.639 --> 0:02:58.520 on that Monday and said, Coach Deval, this is what 0:02:58.560 --> 0:03:00.880 your athletes were doing, and now they left it up 0:03:00.919 --> 0:03:04.320 to me to punish them. So they ran a lot. 0:03:04.639 --> 0:03:08.120 They they did a lot of duck walks a. 0:03:08.080 --> 0:03:12.040 Lot because the mom was just like, oh, you know 0:03:12.040 --> 0:03:13.760 what they was doing, Coach vow they want to be 0:03:13.800 --> 0:03:16.840 in the party lights of shaking their booties all over. 0:03:16.880 --> 0:03:19.160 Everybody wanted to do all these dances and stuff. So 0:03:19.200 --> 0:03:20.560 you know what, I think their legs need to. 0:03:20.480 --> 0:03:23.880 Be quad strength, yeah, quad strength and flexibility. 0:03:24.200 --> 0:03:25.040 Yeah. 0:03:25.200 --> 0:03:27.840 There's a lot of sad faces in practice that day. 0:03:27.880 --> 0:03:30.639 I didn't scream it all. I was just like, Mama, 0:03:30.720 --> 0:03:34.160 they are they good moms? Just like, nah, they're not good. 0:03:34.520 --> 0:03:36.200 I know exactly the mom he's talking about. 0:03:36.240 --> 0:03:37.680 And if there was a mom that I had to 0:03:37.720 --> 0:03:40.400 pick to go up to somebody's house and snap some 0:03:40.440 --> 0:03:42.960 people out of there, yes, she'd have definitely been the one. 0:03:43.040 --> 0:03:45.840 Yes, that's probably why I don't have daughter's lord because. 0:03:46.920 --> 0:03:48.480 Shout out to her though, because she taught me a 0:03:48.560 --> 0:03:51.000 very valuable lesson. And then this lesson we're going to explain. 0:03:51.240 --> 0:03:53.720 Let's do it. So karaoke time. 0:03:53.840 --> 0:03:56.000 We're back to karaoke, and I'm you know, y'all know 0:03:56.040 --> 0:03:59.600 I'm terrible with lyrics, so I'm actually gonna pull up 0:03:59.600 --> 0:04:01.960 the lyric and the lyrics. 0:04:02.640 --> 0:04:04.560 No, I'm not going to butcher it because the lyrics are. 0:04:04.520 --> 0:04:07.720 Very very important, but many songs on karaoke time. 0:04:08.440 --> 0:04:11.280 No, I'm not gonna butcher because these words are important. 0:04:10.720 --> 0:04:12.240 You Okay, go for it. 0:04:12.240 --> 0:04:13.680 You can jump on whatever you want, all right. 0:04:15.480 --> 0:04:24.880 I can show you the world shining, shimmering, spanned. Tell me, princess, Now, 0:04:24.960 --> 0:04:27.200 when did you last let. 0:04:27.160 --> 0:04:28.719 Your heart is sign? 0:04:29.240 --> 0:04:29.440 Oh? 0:04:29.520 --> 0:04:34.279 Yes, I can open your rise to social media take 0:04:34.400 --> 0:04:42.960 you wonder by one over Sideways and the Magic carpid 0:04:43.160 --> 0:04:44.280 ride a. 0:04:44.279 --> 0:04:48.400 Whole new world, don't you dare? Close Your ride a 0:04:48.600 --> 0:04:51.719 new fantastic point of you. 0:04:51.760 --> 0:04:56.680 Listen, no one to tell us no where to go 0:04:57.480 --> 0:05:01.679 or say we're only dream. 0:05:00.520 --> 0:05:04.800 Not damn Come on voice addiction, you better hit that dream. 0:05:05.040 --> 0:05:08.200 Yes, but listen to the words. That's what social media 0:05:08.279 --> 0:05:08.600 be doing. 0:05:08.640 --> 0:05:11.560 The people taking you on a magic carpet ride, a 0:05:11.920 --> 0:05:12.720 cess pool of. 0:05:12.680 --> 0:05:14.280 Stuff that's going on out here in the world. 0:05:14.640 --> 0:05:15.680 What kind of magic was that? 0:05:16.320 --> 0:05:19.960 Shining, shimmering, splendid everything you see in the world. 0:05:20.000 --> 0:05:21.920 Ain't the way it's presented on social media. 0:05:21.960 --> 0:05:23.400 Yeah, that's exactly it. 0:05:23.520 --> 0:05:25.240 And if no one's there to tell you know where 0:05:25.240 --> 0:05:28.320 to go, baby, you will end up down bad. So yeah, 0:05:28.360 --> 0:05:30.480 let's take a quick break and pay some bills, and 0:05:30.520 --> 0:05:32.240 then we'll come back in and talk about why it's 0:05:32.279 --> 0:05:35.040 so important for us as parents to stay up on 0:05:35.120 --> 0:05:39.200 all of these technologies and social media trends and what's 0:05:39.320 --> 0:05:41.480 next and all the app and the lingo and this 0:05:41.560 --> 0:05:43.960 that and the third, because we will get left behind 0:05:43.960 --> 0:05:45.320 in the dust and can't keep up with our own 0:05:45.400 --> 0:05:46.000 damn kids. 0:05:46.120 --> 0:05:47.520 All right, we'll be back. 0:05:50.680 --> 0:05:51.520 All right, we're back. 0:05:52.040 --> 0:05:57.119 So this, this story, even though it's funny, was super 0:05:57.160 --> 0:05:58.800 important to me because it came to me like an 0:05:58.800 --> 0:06:01.760 epiphany two weeks ago. 0:06:01.920 --> 0:06:05.040 You know, Jackson turned thirteen. He turned thirteen. 0:06:05.200 --> 0:06:09.039 Earlier in the year in April, and I've noticed just 0:06:09.080 --> 0:06:11.480 a change in him, you know, like he walks with 0:06:11.560 --> 0:06:13.880 a little bit more of a swag. He hasn't really 0:06:13.960 --> 0:06:16.919 gone through puberty yet, but he's almost taller than you. 0:06:17.000 --> 0:06:18.480 Now he's feeling himself. 0:06:18.520 --> 0:06:20.800 He actually says all the words to this rap songs, 0:06:20.800 --> 0:06:22.280 like he's not just saying to beat no more. 0:06:22.680 --> 0:06:23.560 He's listening to the words. 0:06:23.560 --> 0:06:25.800 And then he introduced me to something last year that 0:06:25.880 --> 0:06:29.760 I didn't even know existed. It was chat GPT me too. 0:06:31.600 --> 0:06:33.440 And in this moment, I was just like, yo, show 0:06:33.480 --> 0:06:34.800 me what this is. He showed me how it works, 0:06:34.800 --> 0:06:36.280 and you was showing me some stuff on AI. He 0:06:36.360 --> 0:06:37.640 was like, Dad, did you know on your phone? You 0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:40.840 can do this? And instantly my first response was, Man, 0:06:40.880 --> 0:06:42.520 I'm not doing all that shit. Man, I'm too old 0:06:42.560 --> 0:06:45.040 for this. Yeah, young people can have all this technology. 0:06:45.080 --> 0:06:46.920 I'm focusing on what I got to do to make money. 0:06:47.560 --> 0:06:51.040 But then I started realizing as I watched the world, 0:06:51.240 --> 0:06:53.040 and you know, I used to mentor a bunch of 0:06:53.120 --> 0:06:55.479 young men and young women, and I'm watching so many 0:06:55.520 --> 0:06:57.400 young men and young women now having to deal with 0:06:57.440 --> 0:07:01.400 social media in real time. And I look at the 0:07:01.600 --> 0:07:04.960 Kaitlyn Clark's and the Angel Reese's and the Shador Sanders, 0:07:05.000 --> 0:07:07.320 and I'm looking at all of these young people who've 0:07:07.360 --> 0:07:10.040 been like thrust it into social media and they're expected 0:07:10.080 --> 0:07:13.320 to behave a certain way. And I said those three 0:07:13.400 --> 0:07:16.200 names in particular, because when you look at social media 0:07:16.240 --> 0:07:18.640 or you look up who's the most search athlete that's 0:07:18.680 --> 0:07:21.360 not a professional, those are the first three names that 0:07:21.440 --> 0:07:24.320 come up. Oh psychology, Yeah, because number last year, before 0:07:24.320 --> 0:07:26.679 they became rookies in the wa it was Kaitlyn Clark 0:07:26.960 --> 0:07:29.000 and Angel Reees. They were the biggest buzz. And then 0:07:29.040 --> 0:07:31.840 Shador Sanders had came into Colorado. And then I said 0:07:31.880 --> 0:07:37.320 to myself, those young children or young people's parents probably 0:07:37.440 --> 0:07:41.760 had no idea the type of vitriol that their children 0:07:41.760 --> 0:07:44.760 would receive through social media, or would have no idea 0:07:44.800 --> 0:07:47.520 how to help their children navigate what they're seeing or 0:07:47.560 --> 0:07:50.160 what they're going through because us as parents so time, 0:07:50.240 --> 0:07:53.640 so many times we disregard what the young people doing 0:07:53.720 --> 0:07:56.840 as a fad or a trend and loss. 0:07:57.200 --> 0:08:00.320 I think about so many different times that growing up, right, 0:08:00.320 --> 0:08:02.480 of course, we were before social media ages, right, so 0:08:02.480 --> 0:08:04.600 that was a little bit easier for us to maneuver 0:08:04.640 --> 0:08:06.800 and navigate and sneak around and do things that we 0:08:06.840 --> 0:08:10.760 probably had no business doing. But the layers of it 0:08:10.800 --> 0:08:14.480 now are so much more intense. Then you have the 0:08:14.520 --> 0:08:16.880 push for, for example, athletes. Since we're talking about your 0:08:16.880 --> 0:08:18.720 track girls, we can go back to the story. But 0:08:18.840 --> 0:08:20.920 the push for athletes with nil deals and all these 0:08:20.920 --> 0:08:23.480 things that they have going on social media is necessary 0:08:23.960 --> 0:08:26.600 for them to build a persona from an early age. 0:08:26.600 --> 0:08:29.600 So it's like, who's regulating those things when it comes 0:08:29.640 --> 0:08:31.840 to someone social media persona when they're younger. 0:08:32.320 --> 0:08:34.840 Who's regulating those things? Are the kids? 0:08:35.320 --> 0:08:36.800 I mean sure at that age, when you have that 0:08:36.920 --> 0:08:39.280 need to want to fit in, you're looking through the comments, 0:08:39.559 --> 0:08:42.360 You're letting that affect you. So I'm wondering what that 0:08:42.400 --> 0:08:46.559 looks like for children or I guess athletes in that position. 0:08:46.679 --> 0:08:48.800 Well, I'm I'm glad you brought that up because it 0:08:48.840 --> 0:08:50.319 was one name that I forget and forgot and I 0:08:50.600 --> 0:08:52.960 don't know how I even forgot this because he's a 0:08:52.960 --> 0:08:55.760 professional and still gets a ton of vitrio. But Bronnie James, 0:08:56.920 --> 0:09:00.440 when I watch how they maneuvered Bronnie on social media, 0:09:00.480 --> 0:09:02.480 and when you really think about it, did BRONI ever 0:09:02.520 --> 0:09:03.679 really have a social media? 0:09:04.559 --> 0:09:04.760 See? 0:09:04.760 --> 0:09:05.120 I don't know. 0:09:06.120 --> 0:09:07.560 Following it, you see what I'm saying. 0:09:07.600 --> 0:09:09.360 He had a social media but you can tell his 0:09:09.440 --> 0:09:13.719 page wasn't run by him, and it was specifically monitored 0:09:14.240 --> 0:09:17.880 by his parents, which makes sense because Bron knows everything 0:09:17.880 --> 0:09:20.280 he has gone through through social media. Same thing with Savanna, 0:09:20.679 --> 0:09:22.080 So they were like, I'm not going to throw my 0:09:22.200 --> 0:09:25.440 kids into social media now that whole idea of in 0:09:25.520 --> 0:09:28.360 order to boost your profile social media is necessary. Yes, 0:09:28.400 --> 0:09:30.840 that's true, but your thirteen year old doesn't have to 0:09:30.840 --> 0:09:31.360 manage their. 0:09:31.280 --> 0:09:32.520 Social their own account exactly. 0:09:32.559 --> 0:09:33.160 There can be a. 0:09:33.120 --> 0:09:36.480 Page dedicated to the work that your child does that 0:09:36.559 --> 0:09:39.520 they don't have access to, if that's something they want 0:09:39.559 --> 0:09:42.679 to do, or you can sit down with your child 0:09:42.840 --> 0:09:45.559 and say, look, you get a social media page, because. 0:09:45.400 --> 0:09:47.000 They're probably gonna get one anyway. 0:09:46.880 --> 0:09:48.320 Facts without without you knowing it. 0:09:49.000 --> 0:09:50.680 That you could do like what we did with Jackson, 0:09:50.720 --> 0:09:54.079 and I said, look, you can't post anything, and Jackson like, 0:09:54.120 --> 0:09:56.040 why can't I post anything? I say, because at thirteen 0:09:56.160 --> 0:09:59.960 years old, you don't understand the repercussions and the ramification 0:10:00.120 --> 0:10:01.800 of something that you post exactly. 0:10:01.880 --> 0:10:03.400 So I don't want you to have I don't want 0:10:03.440 --> 0:10:04.080 you to post. 0:10:03.880 --> 0:10:05.880 Anything, and we don't want you don't We don't want 0:10:05.880 --> 0:10:09.000 you subjected to other people's opinions about what you post 0:10:09.000 --> 0:10:11.240 because Ultimately, when you do post on social media, which 0:10:11.320 --> 0:10:13.880 was also the conversation we have with him, when you 0:10:13.880 --> 0:10:15.960 post on social media, you have to understand that it's 0:10:16.000 --> 0:10:19.520 fair game. Whatever you put out there, people have the 0:10:19.640 --> 0:10:22.280 right to be able to comment, to share, to like, 0:10:22.480 --> 0:10:24.959 to do whatever. That's the whole point of it. So 0:10:25.040 --> 0:10:28.640 by not posting anything, you already remove that. But what 0:10:28.800 --> 0:10:31.079 Deval and I have done uniquely, it's like on the 0:10:31.120 --> 0:10:34.880 platform that he does have, we sometimes will just send 0:10:34.960 --> 0:10:37.719 him little, you know, messages. 0:10:39.280 --> 0:10:41.640 It's all the time. I see you do it because 0:10:42.240 --> 0:10:42.840 I have his. 0:10:42.840 --> 0:10:44.720 I guess, I say some time because I know, yeah. 0:10:44.840 --> 0:10:45.600 I have his password. 0:10:45.679 --> 0:10:48.640 And part of the thing that we decided was you 0:10:48.679 --> 0:10:50.800 can have a social media page if I have access 0:10:50.840 --> 0:10:53.520 to it. So on his social media page, I have 0:10:53.720 --> 0:10:56.559 his social media page linked, so I can just double 0:10:56.559 --> 0:10:58.920 click it and I'm on on his page exactly. 0:10:58.640 --> 0:11:00.439 So he doesn't even know. I don't even have to say, 0:11:00.440 --> 0:11:02.480 give me your phone, Jacks, I can look. 0:11:02.840 --> 0:11:04.360 And I told him, I said, look, I'm just letting 0:11:04.400 --> 0:11:06.719 you know that I can see right, just so that you. 0:11:06.720 --> 0:11:09.280 Know, yeah, his whole phone is pretty much successible to 0:11:09.440 --> 0:11:09.760 no HI. 0:11:09.960 --> 0:11:11.920 If you want to look at stuff, ask questions, but 0:11:11.960 --> 0:11:12.559 go ahead. 0:11:12.640 --> 0:11:14.360 No, So yeah, I was just saying that to say, 0:11:15.360 --> 0:11:17.480 when you think about the algorithms and how those work 0:11:17.480 --> 0:11:20.679 with social media platforms, I feel like, Okay, if I'm 0:11:20.720 --> 0:11:24.720 pushing him that things that are motivational inspirational to build 0:11:24.720 --> 0:11:27.719 his confidence. We joke over certain things, like we have 0:11:27.800 --> 0:11:29.800 our own little inside jokes. I'll send them things that 0:11:29.880 --> 0:11:32.439 have to do with that. Then that will hopefully push 0:11:32.440 --> 0:11:35.679 his algorithm to search more things that are inspirational and motivational. 0:11:35.720 --> 0:11:38.079 But then also having, like you said, the follow up conversations, 0:11:38.120 --> 0:11:39.479 knowing what he's looking. 0:11:39.240 --> 0:11:41.720 At, there's no hopefully it will because the way the 0:11:41.760 --> 0:11:44.200 algorithm works, things that you save or things that you 0:11:44.240 --> 0:11:47.360 click on they constantly send you because the algorithm wants 0:11:47.400 --> 0:11:49.760 you to stay on the app. So if you're constantly 0:11:49.800 --> 0:11:52.920 looking at trees, for example, the algorithm's going to send 0:11:52.960 --> 0:11:55.240 you trees because they want you to stay engaged with 0:11:55.320 --> 0:11:59.240 what you like. So I purposefully send him inspirational quotes, 0:12:00.160 --> 0:12:05.600 wealth building things, muscle building things, minds, things about being 0:12:05.640 --> 0:12:08.640 peaceful and staying away from social media. Like I send 0:12:08.640 --> 0:12:10.920 them all of these stats about why you shouldn't spend 0:12:10.960 --> 0:12:12.760 a lot of time or not become a scroller on 0:12:12.800 --> 0:12:16.239 social media because I want to create and set his algorithm. 0:12:16.679 --> 0:12:18.800 I know he has his cousins and his friends. It's 0:12:18.800 --> 0:12:19.520 another thing I do. 0:12:19.920 --> 0:12:25.760 You can't accept anybody without me seeing because your praise 0:12:25.840 --> 0:12:27.800 is private. So when I go in there and I 0:12:27.880 --> 0:12:29.320 count I'm that dad guy, I'm not. 0:12:29.440 --> 0:12:30.079 I listen to me. 0:12:31.080 --> 0:12:35.040 Kadeen and I are unapologetic about what we're doing with 0:12:35.160 --> 0:12:36.880 our kids, and I've met with other parents and other 0:12:36.920 --> 0:12:38.480 parents the most you think that's a big controlling and 0:12:38.480 --> 0:12:39.120 I said, yes. 0:12:39.040 --> 0:12:41.200 It is controlling. Absolutely it is because. 0:12:41.000 --> 0:12:42.600 The minute my child goes out there in the world 0:12:42.600 --> 0:12:44.360 and does something that people don't like, the first thing 0:12:44.360 --> 0:12:46.600 they say is like, why is this child out of control? 0:12:46.760 --> 0:12:49.160 Exactly, I'm not going Exactly. 0:12:49.679 --> 0:12:52.120 Kadeen and I are not going to let social. 0:12:51.840 --> 0:12:54.560 Media or leave it up to them or children, it's. 0:12:54.440 --> 0:12:58.000 Friends or anybody to raise our kids. So what are 0:12:58.040 --> 0:13:00.880 we going to do control what they see and how 0:13:00.880 --> 0:13:04.040 they see it? Now, granted, he's gonna find other ways. 0:13:04.200 --> 0:13:07.040 Absolutely we know this, right, We also know and we 0:13:07.160 --> 0:13:10.200 told him that we know this. So now it's a 0:13:10.200 --> 0:13:12.240 point where it's like, yo, we're being as transparent if 0:13:12.280 --> 0:13:14.360 you want to do things or try things or see things, 0:13:14.400 --> 0:13:16.199 come to us, we'll walk you through. 0:13:16.160 --> 0:13:18.840 Literally like nothing is off the table in this household 0:13:19.080 --> 0:13:21.600 essentially when you think about it, nothing because we want 0:13:21.920 --> 0:13:24.920 them to always feel comfortable coming. And that's even me 0:13:24.960 --> 0:13:27.440 as a mom, you know, thinking raising for boys, like 0:13:27.800 --> 0:13:29.880 there's things that they probably wouldn't feel comfortable with, something 0:13:29.880 --> 0:13:32.120 to a mom about because it may be things having 0:13:32.120 --> 0:13:34.200 to do with girls or having to do with just 0:13:34.320 --> 0:13:36.760 growing as a man and being a boy and change 0:13:36.760 --> 0:13:37.480 it in the body. 0:13:37.880 --> 0:13:40.280 But Jackson, he comes to us. 0:13:40.360 --> 0:13:41.960 It comes to us, and he comes to me and 0:13:42.000 --> 0:13:45.200 he'll ask and he literally does not have that like 0:13:45.320 --> 0:13:46.400 fear or anxiety. 0:13:46.440 --> 0:13:47.240 I don't see that. 0:13:47.640 --> 0:13:49.960 And I love that freeness that we have with our 0:13:50.000 --> 0:13:52.560 boys because they literally like I want to be in 0:13:52.559 --> 0:13:54.160 the car with y'all, and I want to be rapping 0:13:54.200 --> 0:13:56.200 to a little baby too, you know what I'm saying. 0:13:56.480 --> 0:13:58.960 I've been known a time too to pull up some 0:13:59.080 --> 0:14:01.199 lyrics a to see what the hell they're rapid about, 0:14:01.280 --> 0:14:03.560 just so I know, because we do believe that you 0:14:03.559 --> 0:14:06.320 know the power of speaking things and saying things. So 0:14:06.559 --> 0:14:08.640 I want to know a little baby talking about sometimes too. 0:14:08.800 --> 0:14:10.160 But at the same time too. I want to be 0:14:10.240 --> 0:14:12.199 up on game and on trend and we bond over 0:14:12.320 --> 0:14:14.440 music and you know, those are things that I think 0:14:14.480 --> 0:14:17.440 are invaluable to have those kind of connections with your children. 0:14:17.640 --> 0:14:20.880 I think the truth is for both of us right, 0:14:21.480 --> 0:14:25.000 and we need to do a whole podcast on this trouble. 0:14:25.400 --> 0:14:26.320 Please write this down. 0:14:26.400 --> 0:14:29.120 I want to do a podcast on me being the 0:14:29.200 --> 0:14:31.960 type of man that I want my boys to grow into, 0:14:32.480 --> 0:14:34.560 and them seeing you as a type of woman they 0:14:34.600 --> 0:14:36.240 would want to spend the rest of their life with, 0:14:36.640 --> 0:14:38.720 and how important it is for the both of us 0:14:39.240 --> 0:14:42.000 to make a decision once we had children. It's like, yo, 0:14:42.640 --> 0:14:46.480 I have to be what I want my kids to be. 0:14:47.200 --> 0:14:48.920 You know, it's not enough like when we grew up, 0:14:49.200 --> 0:14:51.320 do as I say, not as I do. That don't 0:14:51.320 --> 0:14:51.880 work anymore. 0:14:51.920 --> 0:14:55.160 No, they don't actually live exist. 0:14:55.240 --> 0:14:57.160 Yes, because I want my kids to look up and 0:14:57.200 --> 0:14:59.120 be like I want to be like my dad. So 0:14:59.200 --> 0:15:00.840 if my dad is not doing these things, I don't 0:15:00.840 --> 0:15:01.800 want them to be like, look at my dad. 0:15:01.800 --> 0:15:03.360 It's so old school. I don't want to be like. 0:15:03.440 --> 0:15:05.480 Him because then it becomes a thing where it's like, oh, 0:15:05.720 --> 0:15:08.080 if he's not doing these things, because he's a square. 0:15:08.160 --> 0:15:09.600 Did you feel like that with your dad, because I 0:15:09.600 --> 0:15:11.600 know like you got some pushback when you were growing 0:15:11.680 --> 0:15:13.880 up about like getting braids or getting a tattoo or 0:15:13.920 --> 0:15:16.240 doing those things that they felt like was on trend 0:15:16.280 --> 0:15:18.320 at the time that the young people were doing, but 0:15:18.360 --> 0:15:21.240 it was frowned upon, you know, from your parents' generation. 0:15:21.680 --> 0:15:24.360 I'll be honest, I never really like sat down and 0:15:24.400 --> 0:15:26.280 thought about it, but I will remember this. 0:15:26.440 --> 0:15:27.720 My dad was the cool guy. 0:15:28.200 --> 0:15:28.440 Okay. 0:15:28.520 --> 0:15:30.360 Remember growing up in Flatbush, Brooklyn. 0:15:30.440 --> 0:15:32.680 All of the dudes that was on the corner always 0:15:32.760 --> 0:15:34.760 like people in the people over there. 0:15:34.640 --> 0:15:37.440 In album, all knew my pops through his organization. 0:15:38.040 --> 0:15:40.280 So I looked up to my father because he's the 0:15:40.360 --> 0:15:43.000 dude that all the guys I looked up to looked 0:15:43.080 --> 0:15:43.320 up to. 0:15:44.040 --> 0:15:44.680 You know what I'm saying. 0:15:44.720 --> 0:15:45.880 Okay, so your dad was cool. 0:15:46.040 --> 0:15:49.080 Yeah, de Sean Freeman is the Chris Jackson's, the Kevin Caesars. 0:15:49.080 --> 0:15:51.800 Like all of those guys who protected us in Flatbush 0:15:51.800 --> 0:15:52.840 and made sure we was good. 0:15:53.480 --> 0:15:56.200 They yo, mister t uncle. They looked up to my pop. 0:15:56.240 --> 0:15:58.920 So I was automatically like, Yo, whatever my pops is doing, 0:15:59.480 --> 0:16:01.320 That's what I'm want to do. You know, walking around 0:16:01.360 --> 0:16:03.760 with my sleeves cut off my shirt. My father wore jewelry. 0:16:03.760 --> 0:16:06.760 People asked me why I wear jewelry. My father wore jewelry. 0:16:06.760 --> 0:16:08.640 Why he liked nice cars while he put ten in 0:16:08.680 --> 0:16:10.160 windows and rims on his cars. 0:16:10.400 --> 0:16:13.120 My dad didn't was that guy he was though. 0:16:13.440 --> 0:16:15.640 My pops literally was that guy. 0:16:15.680 --> 0:16:18.000 That's why, you know, when people talk to me about 0:16:18.080 --> 0:16:19.800 fatherhood and stuff, and they just like, you know, who 0:16:19.840 --> 0:16:22.400 are your role models? And I understand why they asked 0:16:22.440 --> 0:16:24.600 people who their role models were, because it's very rare 0:16:24.640 --> 0:16:27.360 that you hear a black man say my role model 0:16:27.480 --> 0:16:30.840 was my dad, because they purposely don't choose black men 0:16:30.920 --> 0:16:33.840 with fathers to ask them. They always asked the black 0:16:33.880 --> 0:16:36.320 men who don't have their father who was their role models? 0:16:36.360 --> 0:16:38.760 And they say other father figures. But for me, I 0:16:38.760 --> 0:16:40.840 looked up to my pops like he had a car 0:16:40.920 --> 0:16:42.720 with system in it. He used to write, the beats 0:16:42.720 --> 0:16:45.720 would be boom, boom, And I think about it. My 0:16:45.760 --> 0:16:48.120 father had me when he was twenty two. Yeah, so 0:16:48.560 --> 0:16:53.040 at seven, my father's twenty nine, he just started becoming 0:16:53.120 --> 0:16:54.360 who he was supposed to be. 0:16:54.680 --> 0:16:56.640 So I got to watch my dad, you know, I 0:16:57.040 --> 0:17:00.160 literally grew up with your dad's lessen. Yeah, I think 0:17:00.200 --> 0:17:02.800 about my mom and dad, or particularly my mom, because 0:17:02.840 --> 0:17:05.520 you know, girls like to emulate their moms. My mom 0:17:06.000 --> 0:17:11.560 carried herself with the utmost like presence. Everything was about 0:17:11.600 --> 0:17:15.439 the apparents and being put together, and that's what I 0:17:15.520 --> 0:17:17.880 wanted to emulate as I grew up. So like being 0:17:17.920 --> 0:17:20.280 in pageants, for example, was like so spot on for 0:17:20.400 --> 0:17:22.480 my mom. Like she bought into that whole thing once 0:17:22.520 --> 0:17:24.840 I said I wanted to do it, because she was like, yes, 0:17:24.920 --> 0:17:27.880 this is going to make you into a respectable young 0:17:28.000 --> 0:17:30.399 lady who has manners and etiquette and knows how to 0:17:30.400 --> 0:17:32.400 carry herself like that was important for her. 0:17:32.680 --> 0:17:33.679 So I'll completely get that. 0:17:33.920 --> 0:17:36.720 All right, Let's jump into some facts and stat's really 0:17:36.800 --> 0:17:39.000 quick so we can see what's going on in this 0:17:39.080 --> 0:17:43.240