Speaker 1: Now here's a highlight from Coast to Coast AM on iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2: And welcome back to Coast to Coast George Norie with you.
Speaker 2: Doctor Donna Mark's back with us. Has been a licensed
Speaker 2: psychotherapist and addictions counselor in Palm Beach, Florida for more
Speaker 2: than thirty years. In nineteen eighty nine, doctor Marx developed
Speaker 2: a chemical dependency training program at the Palm Beach Community College,
Speaker 2: which has grown into a four year degree now and
Speaker 2: received the Florida Governor's Council Award. How about that. She
Speaker 2: is also a certified gestalt therapist, psychoanalyst, hypnotist, and teaches
Speaker 2: a course in miracles, along with sharing her methods with
Speaker 2: hundreds of thousands of listeners on podcasts and radio shows.
Speaker 2: Her website, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, She's on all social but
Speaker 2: we've got the website linked up at COASTOCOASTAM dot com.
Speaker 2: She was with me when we talked about her book
Speaker 2: called Exit the Maze, One Addiction, One Cause, One Solution.
Speaker 2: Her latest work is called Healing Moment, Seven Paths to
Speaker 2: Turn Messes into Miracles of Love. Dona, welcome back.
Speaker 1: How are you?
Speaker 3: Oh? I'm great and I'm so happy to be back
Speaker 3: on your show, Thank you so much.
Speaker 2: Last week I had the fill on talking about addictions
Speaker 2: as well, and we'll talk about them in a different
Speaker 2: way with you tonight. But a lot of people have addictions,
Speaker 2: don't they. Yes.
Speaker 3: I believe it's the number one global health problem and
Speaker 3: we don't recognize it as such because we have heart attacks, stroke, cancer,
Speaker 3: lung disease, kidney disease, liver disease, and almost all of
Speaker 3: those are based in abuse in terms of people who
Speaker 3: eat too many trans fats, smoke, drink too much alcohol.
Speaker 3: I take drugs and those toxins have caused permanent damage
Speaker 3: for the organs, and then person goes to the doctor
Speaker 3: and they get diagnosed with the physical symptoms rather than
Speaker 3: the actual underlying cause.
Speaker 2: Tell us about the title of your new book, The
Speaker 2: Healing Moment, thank you.
Speaker 3: Well. We all have at some point in our life,
Speaker 3: and sometimes we realize that sometimes we don't. The healing
Speaker 3: moment is that moment in time where you get that
Speaker 3: oh aha, now I see this wasn't so hard after all,
Speaker 3: or this was a good thing, or I could make
Speaker 3: this change. We learn how to listen to. We have
Speaker 3: two voices. One of fear when of love, and we
Speaker 3: learned to listen to that second voice, that quiet, still voice,
Speaker 3: and when we do listen to it, we do have
Speaker 3: those miracles. And no matter how bad we've messed up
Speaker 3: or whatever mistakes we've made, we can clean it up
Speaker 3: and turn it into a miracle.
Speaker 2: Some people don't listen to that second voice, don at
Speaker 2: this side it. So it's one of those things.
Speaker 3: Very true, very true, And it doesn't matter what mistakes
Speaker 3: we make, we can always turn it into a miracle.
Speaker 3: But we can't do it of our own. We can't
Speaker 3: do it when we're afraid to do it.
Speaker 2: And this is not a very religious, a spiritual book.
Speaker 2: It's more metaphysical, I would guess, wouldn't you.
Speaker 3: Well, I think metaphysical is spiritual, and I don't like
Speaker 3: to talk about that per se because so many people
Speaker 3: will put their fingers in their ears and go no, no, no, no,
Speaker 3: no no. But I think we all can relate to
Speaker 3: the fact that we have some kind of conscience that
Speaker 3: guides us. It's like our moral compass, and even atheists,
Speaker 3: you know, will acknowledge, Yeah, there's something going on in
Speaker 3: there that I don't really know what it is. It's
Speaker 3: my thoughts, and I can recognize that I have two
Speaker 3: sets of thoughts, so it is spiritual, and that love
Speaker 3: is spiritual. To me, God is love. Love is God.
Speaker 3: So once we tap into that source within us, then
Speaker 3: we can really become much happier and peaceful.
Speaker 2: It seems lately, Dona that so many people are negative.
Speaker 2: Why is that?
Speaker 3: Because we're living on fear. It's all around us. We
Speaker 3: don't even realize that we are afraid. Almost every decision
Speaker 3: is based on fear rather than love. And if we
Speaker 3: could make that shift, we would be so much freer
Speaker 3: to manifest our talents, our dreams, our goals, and get
Speaker 3: rid of guilt and anger and all the things that
Speaker 3: keep us stuck.
Speaker 2: We're going to talk about these seven paths as you
Speaker 2: talk about in the book. How did you pick the seven?
Speaker 2: Why not eight? Why not ten? Why not three?
Speaker 3: That's just what came to me when I was writing.
Speaker 3: There's no magic formula, although seven is one of the
Speaker 3: more spiritual numbers, I'm told, but it really it's just,
Speaker 3: you know, to me, the most important. There's probably more,
Speaker 3: and maybe that'll be another book, but right now it's
Speaker 3: part two.
Speaker 2: That's right, exactly all right, let's go through the seven.
Speaker 2: The first one, of course, the voice of love tell
Speaker 2: us about that.
Speaker 3: Well, that's what I was referring to a little bit ago.
Speaker 3: We run on the voice of fear. You shouldn't have
Speaker 3: done this, you shouldn't have done that, you shouldn't correct this,
Speaker 3: or you shouldn't take that risk, or who do you
Speaker 3: think you are? What do I want to eat or
Speaker 3: what I want to drink? Or I don't want to
Speaker 3: do this, I don't want to do that. And so
Speaker 3: it's just that it's like I call it the bingo
Speaker 3: machine in the brain. It just never shuts up. It
Speaker 3: keeps you awake at night. It doesn't want you to
Speaker 3: get out of the bed in the morning. It keeps
Speaker 3: us anxious, it keeps us depressed, It keeps us in
Speaker 3: that negative state. It just never stops. But there's also
Speaker 3: that quiet, still voice. It doesn't intrude upon our thoughts,
Speaker 3: but it's always there and we can always access that.
Speaker 3: It's kind of like the water fountain. You have to
Speaker 3: turn it on to get nourished with the water, and
Speaker 3: it's the same thing with that voice of love. It's
Speaker 3: always there. It will guide you, it will help you,
Speaker 3: it will have the answers that you need. They don't
Speaker 3: always come inwards. Sometimes it's a feeling and intuition. People say,
Speaker 3: when I listen to my guys, I do the right thing,
Speaker 3: or I wish I would have listened to my gut,
Speaker 3: and so however you won't perceive it. It doesn't matter.
Speaker 3: That is the voice of love.
Speaker 2: Where does the voice come from? Is it God given?
Speaker 3: Well, I believe we're born with it, and I do
Speaker 3: believe it's God given. But again, God to me is love.
Speaker 3: It's a loving energy, a loving force, the alpha and
Speaker 3: the omega, and we are born with it. I do
Speaker 3: believe we're born perfect. I'm not saying that every you know,
Speaker 3: I don't discount the fact that some people are born
Speaker 3: with disabilities, but even in their own purest state, they
Speaker 3: are perfect. And I don't believe we have brain disorders
Speaker 3: and things like that, that we're being fed now so
Speaker 3: we can take more pills. I believe we're born with
Speaker 3: this inner knowing. There are people who have severe disabilities,
Speaker 3: who are missing arms and legs, who become motivational speakers,
Speaker 3: and so you know, if we tap into the source,
Speaker 3: we can all be motivational speakers. And I don't mean
Speaker 3: I don't mean that literally. I mean we can be
Speaker 3: motivation in the way that we speak and the way
Speaker 3: that we live life, and the way that we love,
Speaker 3: and the way that we manifest our gifts and talents.
Speaker 2: The second path control.
Speaker 3: Yes, well, well we're all busy trying to control everything
Speaker 3: but ourselves. And so once we redirect that energy from
Speaker 3: trying to control others or situations, I don't care what
Speaker 3: it is. Once we rain that in and say, wait
Speaker 3: a minute, this is disturbing my peace of mind. I'm
Speaker 3: not here on the planet to try and change anybody else.
Speaker 3: I can change myself, and sometimes by changing myself, I
Speaker 3: manifest the change that I'm trying to create. If something
Speaker 3: is disturbing me, I can work on why that's disturbing me.
Speaker 3: If I'm reacting to something, I can work on that
Speaker 3: reaction to why I'm disturbed. And then if it's something
Speaker 3: out there, how can I make a difference in a
Speaker 3: positive way rather than judging and condemning and fighting. How
Speaker 3: can I communicate or be affected as an assistant or
Speaker 3: a helper in a positive way. So when we change ourselves,
Speaker 3: that's when the miracle occurs. Because a miracle is when
Speaker 3: we go from being upset and distressed and angry and
Speaker 3: guilty into feeling peaceful and joyful.
Speaker 2: Why is it that some people are control freaks.
Speaker 3: Donna, because they're running on higher degrees of fear than others.
Speaker 3: The more fear that we're writing on and being driven by,
Speaker 3: the more controlling we become.
Speaker 2: Is there a difference between that kind of control and
Speaker 2: someone who's let's say, running a business and he just
Speaker 2: looks at every detail, every area, he's just in on everything.
Speaker 3: Well, that's not necessarily control. Running a business efficiently and
Speaker 3: effectively is taking responsibility for your business. But when you're
Speaker 3: trying to micromanage or be a helicopter boss or a
Speaker 3: mother or a partner or anything like that, then you're
Speaker 3: trying to manage someone else in a destructive way rather
Speaker 3: than a constructive way.
Speaker 2: That's a good point. Next third path trust, Well, trust.
Speaker 3: Is something that people don't realize that it's multifaceted. And
Speaker 3: what I say in my book is you are the
Speaker 3: most important person you will ever trust, because number one,
Speaker 3: if you are trustworthy, then you're not paranoid about everyone
Speaker 3: else not being trustworthy. But what I'm really trying to
Speaker 3: get at and this particular book is that people are
Speaker 3: so afraid of being hurt, are so afraid of being wrong,
Speaker 3: are so afraid of making a mistake, that they don't
Speaker 3: do things that would really empower them and other people.
Speaker 3: They don't fall in love, they don't manifest their dreams,
Speaker 3: they don't use their talents. They're afraid of rejection. And
Speaker 3: so what I really want your listeners to understand is
Speaker 3: that the most important person you'll ever trust with yourself
Speaker 3: to know that no matter what you do, no matter
Speaker 3: what you go through, you can trust that you will heal.
Speaker 3: You will heal. And so once we learn that it's
Speaker 3: okay to be heard, it's okay to be rejected, it's
Speaker 3: okay to not have everything I want on demand, or
Speaker 3: whatever the case may be, it's okay to make mistakes,
Speaker 3: then we can begin to feel much safer in our
Speaker 3: own skin.
Speaker 2: Next, one of my favorites forgiveness.
Speaker 3: Forgiveness is so important because when we hold on to
Speaker 3: that resentment, it's like carrying every resentment. If you imagine
Speaker 3: like you're putting a rock in a suitcase and carrying
Speaker 3: that around with you, it's baggage. It keeps you in
Speaker 3: that state of fear or guilt or anger. And every
Speaker 3: time you begin to have the habit of resentment, then
Speaker 3: you just keep collecting more and more of them, and
Speaker 3: so eventually you're dragging that around with you all the time.
Speaker 3: Forgiveness is lightening up on all that. It's releasing everyone
Speaker 3: and yourself, especially from whatever happened. And things do happen
Speaker 3: in life. We do get hurt, we do get wounded,
Speaker 3: and so we can turn all of those experiences into
Speaker 3: miracles through forgiveness. And again, what I really want your
Speaker 3: listeners to understand is at the root, at the very
Speaker 3: root of any grievance that you hold against someone else
Speaker 3: is self blame. And people go, oh, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 3: I had nothing to do with that, But there is
Speaker 3: that little part that will say you should have been smarter,
Speaker 3: you should have known better, even children myself as a child,
Speaker 3: when I was being abused, there was a I said,
Speaker 3: what am I doing to cause this? You know? And
Speaker 3: I had nothing to do with as five years old.
Speaker 3: But that voice, that's that voice of fear that I
Speaker 3: was talking about earlier, it always will hold it over
Speaker 3: our heads no matter what happens. When when we're hurt,
Speaker 3: where there's that little part of us that overwhelms everything
Speaker 3: else and says it's your fault. You should have and
Speaker 3: we should have, could have, would have? I think you said,
Speaker 3: you know earlier. Those types of things keep us in
Speaker 3: jail mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. They don't allow us to
Speaker 3: be free and to let go. You know, it didn't
Speaker 3: happen the way I think it did. And once we
Speaker 3: have that wound, you know, the least little thing can
Speaker 3: trigger us back to that wound. So when we forgive
Speaker 3: and we work through it and turn that into no
Speaker 3: matter what happened, no matter how painful, it can be
Speaker 3: turned into a miracle of compassion. I see people all
Speaker 3: the time who were so wounded and so hurt, myself included,
Speaker 3: and be able to turn that into compassion for someone
Speaker 3: that hurt me. That is the miracle.
Speaker 2: Interesting fast respect.
Speaker 3: Well, respect is something that a lot of people want,
Speaker 3: but you can't demand it. You know, no one's going
Speaker 3: to respect you more than you respect yourself. All of
Speaker 3: this comes back to us. No one will respect us
Speaker 3: more than we respect ourselves. And that doesn't mean throwing
Speaker 3: our weight around or exercising control or exercising aggression. There's
Speaker 3: a new term out now, and I love. It's called
Speaker 3: soft power, and soft power is love. And when we
Speaker 3: find that voice of love within us, we will be
Speaker 3: treated differently than when we let someone push us around.
Speaker 3: And sometimes it's not immediate. Sometimes we get a little
Speaker 3: stung or whatever, but we don't have to stay. There
Speaker 3: are not victims. No one's a victim, and every perpetrator
Speaker 3: has to have a willing victim. So when we learn respect,
Speaker 3: we give it. We give the respect, but we also
Speaker 3: learn how to find our voice when we don't feel respected,
Speaker 3: but we don't charge on someone, or we don't get
Speaker 3: even and things like that. We've learn to say things like,
Speaker 3: you know, I'm really not comfortable with this, or I
Speaker 3: really don't understand this, or I love you, but I
Speaker 3: just don't really like the way you're coming across right now,
Speaker 3: or I don't like it when you do whatever, but
Speaker 3: I love you, but I want us to work through this.
Speaker 3: Or even if it's a stranger, you know, sometimes you
Speaker 3: don't need to say anything. You just have enough respect
Speaker 3: for yourself to neither that person is having a bad
Speaker 3: day or they're off in some way, you don't have
Speaker 3: to engage at all. But there's so many times where
Speaker 3: we just clam up, we shut down, we don't respect ourselves.
Speaker 3: And sometimes spirituality will even tend to manifest this, you know,
Speaker 3: take the high road and you know, turn the other
Speaker 3: cheek and all. But that doesn't mean we can't say
Speaker 3: our authentic feelings about things. And you really can't have
Speaker 3: anything real with someone if you can't do that, because
Speaker 3: you're choosing fear instead of love. So when we choose love,
Speaker 3: we learn how to communicate how we feel about something
Speaker 3: with respect for ourselves and whoever we're communicating it to. You.
Speaker 2: Well, the sixth path abundance.
Speaker 3: Well, there's a lot of scarcity consciousness. I think this
Speaker 3: country is wonderful and that you know, it's a lot
Speaker 3: less here because there is more of an abundance consciousness.
Speaker 3: So many people have become so wealthy and we have
Speaker 3: those opportunities to be able to do that here. That
Speaker 3: isn't always present everywhere else. But abundance consciousness is one
Speaker 3: of the examples I give given the book. It's about sharing.
Speaker 3: You know, so often we withhold you know, we want
Speaker 3: to make something, we want to have something, but we
Speaker 3: don't tend to share it. And the laws of prosperity.
Speaker 3: The divine intelligence didn't create that way, I think. I know.
Speaker 3: I used, for example, in the Book of Like if
Speaker 3: you if you had a bag of potatoes and you
Speaker 3: were trying to conserve them, because that's all the food
Speaker 3: that you have, and you know eventually you're going to
Speaker 3: run out of potatoes. But then you begin you take
Speaker 3: the eyes of the potatoes, you plant them, and then
Speaker 3: you have more potatoes, and then you can keep doing
Speaker 3: that and eventually you have a whole garden of potatoes.
Speaker 3: But if you start to give those potatoes away everybody
Speaker 3: that needs them and show them how to plant them,
Speaker 3: eventually the whole world has enough potatoes. So the whole
Speaker 3: consciousness of abundance is about sharing what you have, because
Speaker 3: the more you share, the more abundance. There is no lack,
Speaker 3: no lack of anything.
Speaker 2: Past number seven, self love one of the most important areas.
Speaker 3: I think, Well, that's what I think everything boils down to.
Speaker 3: And many people don't realize what self love is they
Speaker 3: And I see this all the time when I'm working
Speaker 3: with someone, and I was certainly my problem. I had
Speaker 3: no idea when it was my loving internal voice said
Speaker 3: to me, that's not me that doesn't love you, You
Speaker 3: don't love yourself, And I was like, what does that mean?
Speaker 3: I don't love myself? And I see this all the
Speaker 3: time when I ask people do you love yourself? And
Speaker 3: they'll say they'll just kind of look like shocked, and
Speaker 3: they'll say things, well, I think so, or yes I do.
Speaker 3: But then the examples they give really aren't a bad
Speaker 3: at It's about what they have and not the love
Speaker 3: for themselves. So this is really important that we do
Speaker 3: learn how to love ourselves because we've substituted love for
Speaker 3: all kinds of things. We've substituted love for how things
Speaker 3: make us feel. You know, if I'm in love, I
Speaker 3: feel high. If I'm drinking, I feel high. We love
Speaker 3: the feeling that we get from certain things rather than
Speaker 3: self love.
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