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Speaker 1: Yeah, let's just keep the real straight shot with Jason.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna get a little bit rougher. I'm here for it.

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Speaker 1: Those who really believe in the American process, all of us.

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Speaker 1: Straight Shot No Chasing. What's Your Girl? Tesselam Figurer on

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Speaker 1: the Black Effect Podcast Network network. What's Happening Everybody? This

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Speaker 1: is Tesla Figural with straight Shot No Chaser, the podcast

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Speaker 1: on the Black fav Podcast Network on i Heart Radio.

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Speaker 1: We are continuing our series our partnership with the George

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Speaker 1: Floyd Foundation in Reclaiming Your Time. I took uh that

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Speaker 1: hashtag or that's saying borrowed from Maxine Waters when she

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Speaker 1: talked about reclaiming her time. I thought it would be

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Speaker 1: a good framing on the prison system and how you

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Speaker 1: reclaim your time, getting the time back that you lost,

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Speaker 1: and so one thing they always say, you can never

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Speaker 1: get time back. But the idea is how do you

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Speaker 1: do better time, as they say, while you're doing your time,

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Speaker 1: and how do you get back what you lost and

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Speaker 1: how do you come to the understanding that some things

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Speaker 1: you may have just lost and had to move on.

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Speaker 1: And the part of that that is so critical of

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Speaker 1: understanding those differences is the mental health aspect, and that

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Speaker 1: is what we're focused on on this particular episode. If

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Speaker 1: you can do me a favor, go back and listen

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Speaker 1: to all of the episodes previously to this one, because

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Speaker 1: it does give you a framing and a shaping and

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Speaker 1: understanding of those who have been directly impacted, those who

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Speaker 1: have served time, those who who are directly impacted, indirectly impacted,

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Speaker 1: those of us like myself that have been supporters of

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Speaker 1: people who have been sentenced to long prison bids, which

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Speaker 1: is very different a lot of times in short because

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Speaker 1: of all the psychological things that go with the longer

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Speaker 1: that you stay in prison while during that sentence and

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Speaker 1: out and having professionals like my next guest that I'm

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Speaker 1: getting ready to introduce, to give you all of the

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Speaker 1: next scessary framing with actually understanding this from a larger standpoint.

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Speaker 1: And we also had Dr White on who is a

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Speaker 1: spiritual advisor that talked about the spiritual side of it

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Speaker 1: and the healing of the heart. As this series continues,

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Speaker 1: and maybe we'll do more, We'll we'll bring some of

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Speaker 1: my guests back to have a longer conversation to maybe

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Speaker 1: have different perspectives from different folks. And maybe even a

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Speaker 1: panel discussion is what I'm thinking about now and just

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Speaker 1: really getting down to a lot of these issues. So

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Speaker 1: my next guest is Dr Selena Smith. She's a psychologist.

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Speaker 1: And the reason why I was so I I as

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Speaker 1: folks um too, I they could recommend any black psychologists

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Speaker 1: that could talk about what it is like to work

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Speaker 1: with incarcerated individuals that population. And she literally was heaven

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Speaker 1: sent dream. And the reason why I say that is

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Speaker 1: because being uh, you know, living in Oklahoma City, I

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Speaker 1: just would not have imagined. And I don't live there now,

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Speaker 1: but I just wouldn't never imagine that the pert and

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Speaker 1: it popped over my inbox was someone that was a

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Speaker 1: psychologist at Mabel Bass and Correctional uh facility that is

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Speaker 1: right around the corner from my grandmother's house. And it's

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Speaker 1: also been important because a lot of this series has

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Speaker 1: talked a lot about our men and black men, you know,

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Speaker 1: obviously being of the largest you know, demographic in prison,

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Speaker 1: but the women, the conversations about women have been left behind,

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Speaker 1: not just in this series, but as we have a

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Speaker 1: conversation about incarceration period, and Oklahoma has more women in

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Speaker 1: prison than anywhere in the world. And so for Dr

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Speaker 1: Smith to have you. First of all, she has a

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Speaker 1: phenomenal background. If you have access to the Internet, you

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Speaker 1: certainly can look her up. But it was the part

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Speaker 1: of Mabel Bass that that really stood out to me

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Speaker 1: because to be able to have a black psychologist that

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Speaker 1: in particular dealt dealt with women who were incarcerated, to me,

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Speaker 1: was just spot on on what I wanted to touch

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Speaker 1: on this series. So I do believe that everything has

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Speaker 1: timing and purpose, and I want to welcome Dr Smith

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Speaker 1: to the show, uh to to talk to us today.

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Speaker 1: And everything has this time and a purpose. So thank

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Speaker 1: you for using your time, Dr Smith to join us.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for having me today. Yes's such an important

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Speaker 1: topic and I thank you for doing this series absolutely,

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Speaker 1: So let's get straight to it. Um, give us some framing,

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Speaker 1: because you you've done a therapy and counseling centers, you've

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Speaker 1: worked directly in the prison system, you now have your

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Speaker 1: own coaching and consulting services. I mean, you've done quite

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Speaker 1: a bit with the Department of Veteran Affairs. Give me

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Speaker 1: a framing. Uh So that and and I want, and

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Speaker 1: I say this to every guest, is a part of

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Speaker 1: this particular series to talk directly to the incarcerated person

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Speaker 1: as if they're sitting in front of you, opposed to

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Speaker 1: the larger audience. So we still want to listen, but

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Speaker 1: I really want them to know that that we see

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Speaker 1: them and and and we're having a conversation for them.

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Speaker 1: Give a little bit of framing on your background on

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Speaker 1: I guess if you can say, I know, I wanted

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Speaker 1: someone to talk about what it is like to work

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Speaker 1: with someone incarcerated, because it seems that that's very different

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Speaker 1: than you know, setting up a counseling center for you know,

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Speaker 1: somebody that's coming in with marriage problems or whatever. A

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Speaker 1: lot of the same traumas may overlap, and you know,

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Speaker 1: we experience a lot of the same things. But give

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Speaker 1: a framing on the importance of working with someone who's

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Speaker 1: been incarcerated in your industry and how that is a

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Speaker 1: niche that a lot of people don't understand. Are are

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Speaker 1: are are not a part of it? If you can,

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Speaker 1: I know, that's a lot to give it and a framing,

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Speaker 1: but I kind of want to set up the foundation. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so it's it's so important because you know, there's so

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Speaker 1: many um aspects of being incarcerated that people do not get,

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Speaker 1: you know, especially if you've never been inside of a prison, right,

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Speaker 1: like just the day to day routine that you know,

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Speaker 1: no autonomy, no voice, no power, UM, and a lot

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Speaker 1: of things those who can be kind of overlooked even

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Speaker 1: aware of those, like intricate details of what it's like

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Speaker 1: I'm being imprisoned. UM. Unfortunately, the criminal justice system is

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Speaker 1: not really built to InCAR serve, I mean, to rehabilitate,

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Speaker 1: like they say, UM, A lot of things are done

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Speaker 1: that kind of keep them in that mentality of being

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Speaker 1: in the system. So once they're out, it's hard to adjust,

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Speaker 1: Like there's so many decisions to be made. I think

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Speaker 1: you talked about this in your previous episode about just

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Speaker 1: making day to day decisions, UM, being able to test

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Speaker 1: someone for the first time, you know, just all those

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Speaker 1: little things that we take for granted not being in

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Speaker 1: the system. UM. And it's so important that that people

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Speaker 1: who are impacted by the system, our common system impacted

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Speaker 1: individuals UM, have someone who can really take their time,

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Speaker 1: like build that relationship, build that safety so that they

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Speaker 1: do have a space to process the trauma that they've

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Speaker 1: endured both inside of the system and then once their release,

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Speaker 1: it's a whole different experience for them. So so it's

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Speaker 1: really important to be able to be that person and

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Speaker 1: provide that space for healing. So when you say the

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Speaker 1: system was not designed to rehabilitate, which we've heard before,

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Speaker 1: how did you see your role which is you know,

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Speaker 1: mental health professional, and the system is saying, hey, go

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Speaker 1: fix these folks, fix whatever it is their problem and

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Speaker 1: whatever their problem is. How did you find that conflicting? Um?

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Speaker 1: Are challenging with what it is that you you you

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Speaker 1: set out to do. And I guess why do you

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Speaker 1: say what you say when you say it's not designed

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Speaker 1: to rehabilitate. Yeah, so you've been inside of a prison

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Speaker 1: and so you know how dark it is, right, just

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Speaker 1: even aesthetically like it's a dark place. And I've always

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Speaker 1: felt when I was working in there, that that's a

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Speaker 1: place of darkness. You know. They don't want people to

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Speaker 1: feel a sense of worth, a sense of value, you um,

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Speaker 1: they don't want people to feel a sense of autonomy

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Speaker 1: that they can really survive without that system in place.

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Speaker 1: They strip people of everything. And so going in there

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Speaker 1: it was like fighting against the wall actually trying to

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Speaker 1: help people heal. They didn't want that to be honest,

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Speaker 1: because if people heal and get better than when they

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Speaker 1: get out, they're not going to return. And so the system,

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Speaker 1: the machine kind of starts to slow down. They can't

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Speaker 1: faction like they wanted to. UM. So it was extremely difficult.

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Speaker 1: It was It took a toll on me because I

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Speaker 1: mean from the top down, UM, I was constantly being

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Speaker 1: faced with obstacles and people just not wanting me to

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Speaker 1: help in the ways that people need it, which was

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Speaker 1: basically just helping people feel respected, feel heard, have their

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Speaker 1: basic needs met, like you know, making sure everybody had

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Speaker 1: meals or got the medication or even got the medical

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Speaker 1: help that they needed. It was a simple day to

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Speaker 1: day things that I encounter, obstacles staying in day out.

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Speaker 1: Not to mention, you know, there's a black woman in

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Speaker 1: there that they have to call a doctor, you know.

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Speaker 1: So there's that whole dynamic of power and UM ginger

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Speaker 1: and race and all of that that I was against

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Speaker 1: two UM and so there were very free people, very

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Speaker 1: few people in my experience in there who were there

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Speaker 1: who were truly there to help, who truly cared. And

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Speaker 1: that that's hard, that's isolating when you're an assistant like that,

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Speaker 1: which you know is why it wasn't sustainable for me,

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Speaker 1: you know, just in terms of my own self care,

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Speaker 1: Like it took me a couple of years to kind

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Speaker 1: of get out of the trauma that I experienced being

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Speaker 1: in our daily So for the person listening and saying, wow,

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Speaker 1: that sounds familiar, I don't feel anybody cares. I'm going

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Speaker 1: to see the mental health therapist here now, and I

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Speaker 1: don't feel um that it's helping me. Would you say

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Speaker 1: that even despite all of that um for them listening,

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Speaker 1: because you're seeing that from you know, your perspective, like,

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Speaker 1: don't I don't see how I can perform surgery without

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Speaker 1: the tools. It's basically what you're saying. But to the

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Speaker 1: incarcerated person, they can't just move on and go to

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Speaker 1: another job or go on and go to another situation.

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Speaker 1: So what would you tell them to try to find

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Speaker 1: Because I definitely don't want them to hear that and say, oh,

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Speaker 1: you know what, she's right. I knew I was right.

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Speaker 1: Nobody gives a damn, which can still be true. Two

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Speaker 1: things can be true at the same time. Nobody gives

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Speaker 1: a damn. I don't want to get any help. Let

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Speaker 1: me just move on. What about Uh, the other side

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Speaker 1: of that coin that says, whatever tools you do have

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Speaker 1: in front of you, how do you work with what

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Speaker 1: you have? Because you were able to move on, and

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Speaker 1: I'm glad you were transparent enough to know that so

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Speaker 1: that people don't think, Okay, I know I'm not crazy.

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Speaker 1: I know it wasn't just me. I know that that

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Speaker 1: I'm not set up in a in a system in

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Speaker 1: order to prosper or do well. But we also know

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Speaker 1: that some people do. So what do you say to

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Speaker 1: the person that says, I really want to get help

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Speaker 1: and I understand it's not set up for me to

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Speaker 1: do so, what would be the tools with the individual

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Speaker 1: that you did have an opportunity to work with that

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Speaker 1: you were able to find that they were able to

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Speaker 1: get some something helpful out of it? You know what,

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Speaker 1: what do they say deal with the cars you were dealt?

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Speaker 1: What would be their advice with your advice that you

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Speaker 1: would give them on how to deal with the cars

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Speaker 1: that would debt? What whoever it is that is on

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Speaker 1: staff with with mental health and maybe it's not them,

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Speaker 1: maybe it's a spiritual advisor, maybe it's a friend outside

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Speaker 1: of the prison. What do they do because if they

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Speaker 1: clicked on this about mental health. They're looking for an answer,

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Speaker 1: So what do they do in a system that is

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Speaker 1: not designed um and and and the goal is not

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Speaker 1: for them to rehabilitate. The things was there were pockets

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Speaker 1: of light in the prison, right so it may not

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Speaker 1: have been necessarily even in mental health, but there were

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Speaker 1: always people in different areas. I felt that God plays

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Speaker 1: different people throughout the system who did care, and so

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Speaker 1: UM anyways learned to recognize those people can go to them.

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Speaker 1: And I also gave them, you know, skills and coping

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Speaker 1: tools to help them just in their day to day

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Speaker 1: so even if they didn't have anybody physically present, they knew,

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Speaker 1: you know, they had a toolbox to pool from. UM

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Speaker 1: and I think another thing was to help people build

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Speaker 1: community amongst each other. So sure, maybe we don't have anybody,

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Speaker 1: you know who's working here who really has our best

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Speaker 1: interests today on a given day, but we have each other.

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Speaker 1: We have these people within you know, the whatever location

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Speaker 1: your interview. And I actually prisoned one you know, who

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Speaker 1: are sources of support and hope and life and so

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Speaker 1: you know, I did a journaling group to connect women

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Speaker 1: while I was there, and just so they could learn

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Speaker 1: how to lean off each other how like actually right

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Speaker 1: through their their feelings and their experiences, UM, and I

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Speaker 1: pushed them to kind of think about consists that they

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Speaker 1: haven't really got of, like self care. You know, I'm

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Speaker 1: learning how to forgive themselves because there was a lot

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Speaker 1: of guilt and shame, especially you know mothers who lost children. UM.

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Speaker 1: There were women in there who were pregnant and you know,

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Speaker 1: have to go have deliver a child and come right

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Speaker 1: back to the facility. There was a lot of guilt,

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Speaker 1: a lot of self hate. So just helping them slowly

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Speaker 1: unpack those you know, um ideas for themselves, UM, to

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Speaker 1: help them start doing the work that was really important.

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Speaker 1: And so they would go and talk to their other

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Speaker 1: friends about it. You know, they created their own families

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Speaker 1: in the facilities, so you know, they would share this information.

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Speaker 1: And so that kind of helped me when it was

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Speaker 1: time to move on, to know that I had planted

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Speaker 1: some seeds and giving them some tools to help. And

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Speaker 1: so even if you don't have a mental health provide

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Speaker 1: and feel comfortable with, you know, the people in your

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Speaker 1: facility who do care, and so identify those people, connect

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Speaker 1: to those people who spend time with those people, let

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Speaker 1: them pour into you, because that's you can't do it alone.

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Speaker 1: That's for sure. You can't make it alone because it's

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Speaker 1: just so much every day that get you're fighting against.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, that would be advice. Yeah, the last episode

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Speaker 1: we did, we was talking about that because Spud didn't

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Speaker 1: believe that he could be a writer, and he never

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Speaker 1: thought about it. He started writing just to escape, you know,

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Speaker 1: everything that was going on, and it was somebody else

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Speaker 1: who was incarcerated. I was like, man, this is really good.

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Speaker 1: And as he passed that around and people started reading,

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Speaker 1: was like, man, you need to submit this. You need

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Speaker 1: to submit this manuscript. And he never thought about I

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Speaker 1: never thought being a writer. Now, sixteen books later published,

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Speaker 1: you know, the largest black book distributor in the country.

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Speaker 1: That came from that community of support. And so what

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Speaker 1: what I'm hearing you say is, you know, utilize the

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Speaker 1: tools that you have, um you know in front of you,

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Speaker 1: the mental health provider or whoever it is. But in

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Speaker 1: addition to that, really you know, build community of support

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Speaker 1: of being able to I guess help someone else along

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Speaker 1: that way. And it may not be the way you

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Speaker 1: think helping it. You know, it could be just sharing

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Speaker 1: your story of honesty, are just saying, hey, man, you

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Speaker 1: know I learned this and I wish I could have

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Speaker 1: did this better, that better, and I talked about that.

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Speaker 1: It's so interesting you said that because you didn't hear

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Speaker 1: the episode that I just recorded before yours, and it

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Speaker 1: ended with saying that you know, if you can use

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Speaker 1: your time, not just your time locked up, but when

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Speaker 1: you get home, your time on earth period of trying

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Speaker 1: to make somebody else's time on earth just a little

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Speaker 1: bit better, then that alone can bring you enough light,

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Speaker 1: you know, to to stay encouraged as we all, you know,

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Speaker 1: fight this battle. If you had to give some other tools,

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Speaker 1: you one you said, and it's important because I want

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Speaker 1: to give people because when I have an expert on

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Speaker 1: I want to give some tangible tools. When you said

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Speaker 1: build community, UM, to reach out to those who around you. UM.

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Speaker 1: Can you name a couple of other tools that you

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Speaker 1: found helpful with the folks that you that you talked

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Speaker 1: about self healing, You talked about forgiveness, about forgiving yourself,

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Speaker 1: You talked about journaling. Are there some other tools that

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Speaker 1: you can give in the incarcerated individuals on how to

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Speaker 1: deal with, you know, their mental health whether it's when

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Speaker 1: they get while they're doing time, or when they get out. Well,

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Speaker 1: one of the things you mentioned was just you know,

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Speaker 1: the talent there, right, you're talking about your friend and

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Speaker 1: how he was so gifted and writing. One of the

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Speaker 1: reasons why that time at Maple bas It was so

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Speaker 1: incredible for me was because, I mean the people there,

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Speaker 1: the women who were incarcerated, were so gifted, Like you

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Speaker 1: can't help but film some inspiration seeing how people could

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Speaker 1: channel their pain, their their griefs into things that were beautiful.

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Speaker 1: So when it was creating you know, blankets or you know,

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Speaker 1: women created stuffed animals. I mean, it was just so

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Speaker 1: much talent there, and so you know, even learning how

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Speaker 1: to channel that into something that's beautiful. We talked about

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Speaker 1: meditation and finding you know, ways to center themselves, especially

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Speaker 1: in moments of chaos. So there were a lot of

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Speaker 1: times when things were chaotic. They witnessed a lot of

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Speaker 1: different things set nobody should ever have to witness, you know,

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Speaker 1: happen to people that they love and care about in

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Speaker 1: there um and like you said before, just being stripped

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Speaker 1: your identity, you become a number, you know, just helping

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Speaker 1: people ground themselves and find their center in the midst

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Speaker 1: of chaos was was huge. So learning how to meditate,

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Speaker 1: learning how to ground themselves in moments where you know,

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Speaker 1: they may feel really angry and feel like they want

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Speaker 1: to lash out, like helping them to just kind of

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Speaker 1: refocus themselves and refocus their energy, that was huge. UM.

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Speaker 1: And then just physical activity, right, so a lot of people,

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Speaker 1: I think they created like a dance team, um. So

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Speaker 1: they created things within the facility to help them. Um.

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Speaker 1: They had a weightlifting group where they would just go

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Speaker 1: and spend time in the evening lifting weights and connecting

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Speaker 1: with each other. UM. Or you know, during the rectime

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Speaker 1: walking yard and you know, just exercise and moving their body.

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Speaker 1: So we talked about the importance of just staying and

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Speaker 1: active and and also mentally active, so doing puzzles or

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Speaker 1: you know, things just to keep themselves mentally stimulate stimulate

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Speaker 1: because everyone couldn't take classes. They're like there was a

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Speaker 1: really strict way, um that they would select people. So

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Speaker 1: if you had any too many, you know, right up

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Speaker 1: for anything, you would automatically be excluded from me and

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Speaker 1: able to do that. So just finding ways to keep

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Speaker 1: their mind, body and spirit gets moving for you know

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Speaker 1: active is huge. Because easy to get stagnant and just

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Speaker 1: your mind those places that aren't healthy, you know, dark

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Speaker 1: places that can really be destructive. So those are some

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Speaker 1: of the other tools that we talked about pretty frequently.

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Speaker 1: M hm. That's interesting. He said that I guess the

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Speaker 1: more trouble they got in, the less access they got

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Speaker 1: to classes and learning and being really be a rehabilitated,

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Speaker 1: which goes against the whole thing of you know, actually

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Speaker 1: rehabilitating people. Um, So for those who are listening that

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Speaker 1: have support systems, because there's two audiences that are a

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Speaker 1: couple of different audiences listening. One this is going directly

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Speaker 1: to incarcerated individuals, but also people who may just listen

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Speaker 1: to my podcast that is trying to support you know, uh,

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Speaker 1: someone who is incarcerated. I talked a lot in my

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Speaker 1: episode about patients, you know, on our end, but I

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Speaker 1: also talked a lot about boundaries as well, because what

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Speaker 1: I learned in supporting someone is that those boundaries will

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Speaker 1: be pushed, and some people that's exactly what they got

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Speaker 1: in prison forwards, pushing the boundaries, but you know, pushing

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Speaker 1: the line being a habitual line stepper. So what would

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Speaker 1: be your advice to those who are listening and to

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Speaker 1: fold one with setting boundaries the important the person that's

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Speaker 1: you know, providing support and also the person that's receiving

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Speaker 1: a support understanding that those boundaries are the rejection of

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Speaker 1: that person, but being able to keep your support system saying,

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Speaker 1: because if you drive them crazy, then nobody can help anybody.

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Speaker 1: So what would be of some advice on boundaries. That

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Speaker 1: was something that I was tested with two, you know,

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Speaker 1: being someone who was there to help and someone that

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Speaker 1: they saw it perceived as being safe, Like I had

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Speaker 1: to step boundaries and that didn't feel good for a

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Speaker 1: lot of people. But I would definitely make sure I

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Speaker 1: had conversations with them explaining so it wouldn't because they

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Speaker 1: were so used to being ghosted and rejected and abandoned

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Speaker 1: that any kind of line up set to still unpleasant

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Speaker 1: to them. And so I think it's important to have

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Speaker 1: those conversations explain what's going on, because it would be

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Speaker 1: easy for them to go in their head and this

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Speaker 1: feels like something that just happened, you know, with someone

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Speaker 1: else in my life, and so just triggering, you know,

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Speaker 1: and so having those conversations, I think communication is so

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Speaker 1: important in this. But yeah, like you said, bundaries are

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Speaker 1: because otherwise you crash and burn as a as a supporter,

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Speaker 1: as someone who loves and who's trying to help, because

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Speaker 1: it is a lot. It's a lot, and the person

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Speaker 1: who needs help realizes and feels how much it is.

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Speaker 1: And so yeah, for me, I think there's always been

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Speaker 1: opening communicating what's going on is huge and that and

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Speaker 1: also I feel like as someone who is supporting someone

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Speaker 1: who is in carcerety, you need support right so that

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Speaker 1: you can kind of talk through things and find out

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Speaker 1: how to have those conversations in a way that I mean,

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Speaker 1: to be honest, a lot of things may will be

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Speaker 1: taken a wrong way just because like I think you

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Speaker 1: were talking to re read Mr Reid about boundaries and

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Speaker 1: how anything can feel like a rejection and so that

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Speaker 1: could make you feel question your own judgment. So having

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Speaker 1: somebody like when you were supporting your friend, hopefully you

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Speaker 1: have people around you that you could talk to that

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Speaker 1: could validated experiences and help you have those conversations as well. Well.

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Speaker 1: They certainly they listened, but they couldn't necessarily help one.

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Speaker 1: I don't tell my business everybody, but I have two

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Speaker 1: best friends and they certainly listened but um it was

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Speaker 1: they certainly couldn't tell me how to have those conversations

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Speaker 1: because they didn't have that experience. So it was a

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Speaker 1: new experience. So I had to do, which goes into

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Speaker 1: the next thing. I had to do a lot of

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Speaker 1: reading and researching on my own, and it was interesting.

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Speaker 1: Before we started his interview said, you know, Tess, and

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Speaker 1: I'm I don't really I don't like the sigma associated

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Speaker 1: with the word, you know, posting carceracing syndrome. And I said,

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Speaker 1: let's definitely talk about that. But for me, which really

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Speaker 1: goes into what you just said, there wasn't anybody that

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Speaker 1: could tell me how to have those conversations are to

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Speaker 1: even understand. So I and me not being a mental

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Speaker 1: health professional, you know, googling information and reading that syndrome

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Speaker 1: and saying, yeah, these things sound exactly like what I'm

419
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Speaker 1: experienced sin or what this person is. So although I understand,

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Speaker 1: at least partly because I want you to explain the stigma,

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Speaker 1: I understand stigmatizing things pushes people away. But for me,

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Speaker 1: I needed I needed to know like what that thing is,

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Speaker 1: what is what the name is, what it means, because

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Speaker 1: I needed to process, you know, what it was that

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Speaker 1: I understand. Yeah, I understand, but I do understand the

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Speaker 1: stigma behind it. But I also understood calling a thing

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Speaker 1: a thing. So explain a little explained to us why

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Speaker 1: you say there's a stigma around that wording, that framing,

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Speaker 1: and and and why you believe I assume that it's

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Speaker 1: not as helpful as as we intended to be. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because I definitely understand how infrom provides the framework. It

432
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:48,480
Speaker 1: helps you understand what's manifesting in front of you. Right,

433
00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:53,000
Speaker 1: but I'm compared to something it's not the same. But

434
00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:57,200
Speaker 1: do you know how some people who are totally experts

435
00:23:57,200 --> 00:24:01,840
Speaker 1: talk about the angry black woman's syndrome, Right, So it's

436
00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:04,960
Speaker 1: this honest of responsibility on us as black women. Something

437
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:08,360
Speaker 1: is wrong with us. No, let's talk about the systems

438
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:11,560
Speaker 1: and the things that have contributed to those things that

439
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,560
Speaker 1: you see in front of you, and talk about how

440
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:18,200
Speaker 1: we got to this place of coming across are being

441
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:21,639
Speaker 1: perceived as overly aggressive or x y Z. However they

442
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:26,719
Speaker 1: define angry black woman's syndrome. Um, so with saying post

443
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:33,040
Speaker 1: incarceration syndrome, it's like, okay, it's trauma, it's PTSD. As

444
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:35,639
Speaker 1: a result of the things that they experienced while they

445
00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:40,280
Speaker 1: were incarcerated, or for so many people, they were already

446
00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:43,800
Speaker 1: experiencing or had dealt with trauma prior to going into

447
00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:47,800
Speaker 1: the system, and going into the system only exacerbated or

448
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:51,439
Speaker 1: worsen those, you know, the trauma that they had. So

449
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:56,200
Speaker 1: then they're coming out just with all this untreated trauma

450
00:24:56,520 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 1: and trying to figure out how to navigate in this

451
00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:02,159
Speaker 1: world after You're dealing with all of that with no support,

452
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:05,879
Speaker 1: no preparation of what it's like after. And so I

453
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:10,080
Speaker 1: feel like with systems impacted individuals, they already have all

454
00:25:10,119 --> 00:25:13,800
Speaker 1: these labels and all these titles and things that you

455
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:18,440
Speaker 1: know are healthy. And I don't want people afraid to

456
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:20,720
Speaker 1: come out because they think that they're already they're gonna

457
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:24,560
Speaker 1: have another label on them or another you know, clinical

458
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:28,720
Speaker 1: pathology kind of thing going on. These are a natural

459
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:32,480
Speaker 1: result of being in a system that as sipt you

460
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:35,720
Speaker 1: of everything that traumatizes you on a daily basis, makes

461
00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:38,800
Speaker 1: you feel like you have nothing UM and you can't

462
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:42,159
Speaker 1: survive without the system. You know, so many people UM

463
00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:44,719
Speaker 1: but the US a call trick off their time, so

464
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:47,359
Speaker 1: they would be on the verge of getting out and

465
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:49,600
Speaker 1: would do something to get themselves in trouble because they

466
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:52,399
Speaker 1: were so afraid of getting out afterwards and thinking that

467
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:56,200
Speaker 1: they couldn't survive. Um. The system is built that way

468
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:58,560
Speaker 1: to make you dependent and feel like you can't survive

469
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,639
Speaker 1: without it once you're getting it's I shouldn't been in

470
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:05,600
Speaker 1: there for decades. Um. And so yeah, I prefer to

471
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:08,320
Speaker 1: kind of talk about the system and how it's created

472
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:13,080
Speaker 1: all this trauma in people unthink about trauma and how

473
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:17,880
Speaker 1: society expects people to just go out and be okay afterward. No,

474
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:21,440
Speaker 1: nobody would nobody And that doesn't mean doc not take

475
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:24,280
Speaker 1: accountability for your own actions. Right, Let's talk a little

476
00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:26,400
Speaker 1: bit about that, because a lot of times when I'm

477
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:29,040
Speaker 1: talking about the system as a whole in politics, I'm

478
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:31,480
Speaker 1: always talking at the system a system. The system doesn't

479
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:35,680
Speaker 1: mean don't take accountability. The first the first feedback I'll

480
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:38,159
Speaker 1: get from somebody is you they need take accountability. That

481
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:40,600
Speaker 1: I know nobody's saying that. In fact, I hold my

482
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:44,560
Speaker 1: friends to a higher standard of accountability. But explain the

483
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:48,359
Speaker 1: difference between understanding that I am in a big ocean

484
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:51,639
Speaker 1: and I'm in a system of ocean water. But I

485
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:53,760
Speaker 1: also need to know how I got there, and why

486
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:56,080
Speaker 1: I can't swim and why I'm not the best swimmer,

487
00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:58,560
Speaker 1: And was I ever set up using it as an analogy?

488
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:01,280
Speaker 1: Was I ever talked swim lessons to anybody? And my

489
00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:04,720
Speaker 1: family swim, Like do I know anything about swomen at all?

490
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:08,400
Speaker 1: And that's not taking accountability for me jumping off in

491
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:10,919
Speaker 1: in the ocean knowing damn well, I can swim. But

492
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,639
Speaker 1: it says something to the water, the body of water

493
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:17,320
Speaker 1: that I'm meant, how do you balance that between blaming

494
00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:21,359
Speaker 1: other people for your actions and actually taking accountability and

495
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:23,399
Speaker 1: if there's any tools you can give people on that.

496
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:26,320
Speaker 1: It's so funny to bring this up because I had

497
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:29,600
Speaker 1: this conversation with my father last week. He was talking

498
00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:34,720
Speaker 1: about our community and you know, financial literacy and you

499
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:37,400
Speaker 1: know this black business, you know, kind of that older

500
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:40,080
Speaker 1: way of thinking, like we need to do better, we

501
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:43,520
Speaker 1: gotta get better, Like why are we so? Why do

502
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:46,200
Speaker 1: we sabotage ourselves? In no way? And I said with that,

503
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:50,680
Speaker 1: first of all, it's kind of look at historical context, right,

504
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:53,280
Speaker 1: Like we didn't just wake up one day and say

505
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:56,720
Speaker 1: like I don't you know, I want to be a

506
00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:59,679
Speaker 1: poor business owner or whatever, you know, The thing is

507
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:03,000
Speaker 1: we have overcome so much in such a short amount

508
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:06,159
Speaker 1: of time, and this is generational stuff, and people if

509
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:09,520
Speaker 1: they don't get healing and actually seek treatment to kind

510
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:12,400
Speaker 1: of overcome that. We're doing the best. People are doing

511
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:14,800
Speaker 1: the best that they can a lot of times, especially

512
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:17,640
Speaker 1: with what they've seen around them, what's going on right

513
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:21,760
Speaker 1: in front of them. So accountability would be like, yes,

514
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:26,320
Speaker 1: I made a mistake and I've served the time, but

515
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:28,840
Speaker 1: you know, have I gotten the help that I needed

516
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:31,400
Speaker 1: while I've been in here? You know, like so you're

517
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:35,840
Speaker 1: looking at everything in totality, You're accepting your your your

518
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 1: role in it, but also, like you said, how did

519
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:41,800
Speaker 1: I get here? How did you know? What are the

520
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:44,479
Speaker 1: factors that let me to do this one thing that

521
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:46,440
Speaker 1: they may or may not have even done right? Because

522
00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 1: we have people in there in prison who've done nothing wrong.

523
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:52,040
Speaker 1: So even if it's just being at the wrong place,

524
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:53,880
Speaker 1: at the wrong timing around the wrong you know, the

525
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:57,520
Speaker 1: wrong people. I've been really um active with the justice

526
00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:02,160
Speaker 1: but Julius Jones movement, and that's something that Julie Stones

527
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:06,080
Speaker 1: talks about. You know, no, I didn't murder anyone, but

528
00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:08,600
Speaker 1: I will admit that I was around the wrong people

529
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:10,720
Speaker 1: that people who were doing things that I shouldn't have

530
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:14,120
Speaker 1: been around. But so that's, you know, an example of

531
00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:17,360
Speaker 1: taking accountability, like I should have made better decisions about

532
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:20,600
Speaker 1: the people I was with what I was doing, yes,

533
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:23,120
Speaker 1: or you know, people who have done things wrong. Yes,

534
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:26,480
Speaker 1: I did make a big mistake, But that doesn't mean

535
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:30,760
Speaker 1: that I need to be stripped of my humanity, reminded

536
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:33,600
Speaker 1: daily that you know, I have nothing and I'm not

537
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:37,600
Speaker 1: everything amount to anything like you know, nobody deserves that

538
00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:41,680
Speaker 1: because we all make mistakes, and some of us have

539
00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 1: just been fortunate enough to not get caught up, but

540
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:48,080
Speaker 1: we've all made mistakes and we got all with one decision,

541
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:52,000
Speaker 1: end up exactly where they are. Um. And so I

542
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 1: think taking ownership of what you have done wrong, but

543
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:58,479
Speaker 1: also being able to look at the different things in

544
00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:00,720
Speaker 1: your life that may have led to that. You know,

545
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:03,360
Speaker 1: I think we do it. We don't do a great

546
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:07,120
Speaker 1: job of acknowledging systemic stuff and what we've seen growing

547
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:10,280
Speaker 1: up with the model before us. A lot of people

548
00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:14,120
Speaker 1: have not seen healthy relationships, healthy friendships, none of that,

549
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:17,800
Speaker 1: and that affects your decision making and the things that

550
00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:19,560
Speaker 1: you're doing, like and even how far do you think

551
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:22,160
Speaker 1: you can go a lot of times? And also the

552
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:25,280
Speaker 1: support system are us out here that call ourselves supporting?

553
00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:27,920
Speaker 1: You had had an opportunity to see me doing an

554
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:30,320
Speaker 1: i G live where I was explaining to a god

555
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:32,840
Speaker 1: this week. You know, the nerve of you to do

556
00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:36,360
Speaker 1: time and then violating and to come down and and

557
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:39,200
Speaker 1: and shake your finger you know and everyone else the

558
00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:41,680
Speaker 1: really truly, truly the nerve of you. Um. When you

559
00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:43,480
Speaker 1: talk about Julish Jones, him and I we went to

560
00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:46,360
Speaker 1: John Marshall. I went to John marshallus well, and um,

561
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:49,440
Speaker 1: you know, John Marshall is a blood of school. And

562
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:52,560
Speaker 1: they said that Julish Jones that had some affiliations with bloods.

563
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:54,680
Speaker 1: I won't speak on it that's true or not, um,

564
00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:56,840
Speaker 1: but Clippers Bud Johnson was a blood that I met,

565
00:30:56,960 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 1: you know, from California in nine And the same thing

566
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,200
Speaker 1: that he got his time for, I could have got

567
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:07,040
Speaker 1: time for because I was around me. So the nerve

568
00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:09,920
Speaker 1: of anybody, you know, when we could be in it,

569
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:11,880
Speaker 1: like I literally know it could have been me. I

570
00:31:11,920 --> 00:31:14,560
Speaker 1: literally know I was in the wrong place on many occasions,

571
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:18,720
Speaker 1: wrong time, and I've had an opportunity, Um, to not

572
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:21,920
Speaker 1: get caught up, and then used that to go and

573
00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:26,080
Speaker 1: help others, never making an excuse for them or me,

574
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:29,360
Speaker 1: because I knew that I was at the wrong place,

575
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:32,280
Speaker 1: wrong time. But at the same time, I also knew,

576
00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:36,120
Speaker 1: looking back that I was sixteen, how much of my judgment,

577
00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:39,840
Speaker 1: you know, was really impaired at that time. One meet,

578
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:42,840
Speaker 1: I'm a cheerleader in school, but then on the weekend,

579
00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:45,320
Speaker 1: I'm with all the hustles selling dope, Like I get that.

580
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:48,320
Speaker 1: And even though I thought, oh, but I'm doing all

581
00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:50,440
Speaker 1: the right things, I'm this and that, but every now

582
00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:52,720
Speaker 1: and then I'm over here on this side. Looking back

583
00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:55,600
Speaker 1: now as an adult, that's a totally different perspective than

584
00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:58,800
Speaker 1: what I experienced at that time. And it wasn't because

585
00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:00,479
Speaker 1: my mother wasn't telling me what I shoudn't be done.

586
00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:02,960
Speaker 1: She didn't even know so once because somebody just letting

587
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:05,400
Speaker 1: me just run woud But it also has something to

588
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:06,960
Speaker 1: do what I was living in the neighborhood. That was

589
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:10,120
Speaker 1: Pyu bloods, and that's in spuds, dough pounds was in

590
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:14,720
Speaker 1: my neighborhood. So all of those things go into play.

591
00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:16,760
Speaker 1: And it doesn't mean that my mother did not work

592
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:19,360
Speaker 1: at the television station, and that my stepfather was not

593
00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:22,400
Speaker 1: a dentist. Literally it was like the Cosby Show. My

594
00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:25,040
Speaker 1: mother never said a cuss word. It was nothing like

595
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:28,360
Speaker 1: my outside environment. But when I walked around the corner

596
00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:30,800
Speaker 1: to the store, I still had to pass a couple

597
00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:33,880
Speaker 1: of crack houses. Uh. And I still had to go

598
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,200
Speaker 1: to the store with graffiti on the back, like these

599
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:39,040
Speaker 1: are the realities. And if we had support system and

600
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:43,040
Speaker 1: that people in this space can realize that two things

601
00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:45,040
Speaker 1: can be done, two things can be right at the

602
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:51,600
Speaker 1: same time, believe it or not breaking news. It's so

603
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:54,640
Speaker 1: we want a zero sum game, you know, where we

604
00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:58,360
Speaker 1: say no, you should have did this or that right.

605
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 1: And so for me, doc with my personal story, and

606
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:10,160
Speaker 1: I didn't get a chance to get on this in

607
00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:13,480
Speaker 1: this topic with sput Um, which I've told this story before.

608
00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:16,320
Speaker 1: You know, the homuch that I paid to him on

609
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:18,680
Speaker 1: just believing in me, you know, even as a young

610
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:20,400
Speaker 1: girl and I'm saying, hey, I want to go do

611
00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:22,160
Speaker 1: more of my life. I want to go to Dallas.

612
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:24,000
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go with nothing, you know, the shirt on

613
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:26,160
Speaker 1: my back, no place to say, no nothing. It was

614
00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:29,080
Speaker 1: him as the streets that gave me an opportunity. My

615
00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:30,880
Speaker 1: dad was in a position to do what my mother

616
00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:32,640
Speaker 1: was not in a position to do it. So I

617
00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:36,920
Speaker 1: cannot forget about those that did help me along the way.

618
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:39,160
Speaker 1: And it doesn't mean that he doesn't get a pass.

619
00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:41,480
Speaker 1: I mean that he gets a pass to do whatever

620
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:44,240
Speaker 1: and say whatever, and I make all these excuses. What

621
00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:47,520
Speaker 1: it means is I know the environment that I came

622
00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:49,880
Speaker 1: out of, that big body of water that I use

623
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:52,920
Speaker 1: that analogy, that ocean, and I knew that somebody gave

624
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:56,120
Speaker 1: me through me a life jacket. And it's that same

625
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:59,640
Speaker 1: somebody that got that drowned in the same system, the

626
00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:02,560
Speaker 1: same body of water that I will escape. And so

627
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:06,120
Speaker 1: now it's up to me to throw back that life jacket.

628
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:08,840
Speaker 1: That's right, And it's a it's a life jacket of

629
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:12,439
Speaker 1: knowledge and understanding, not one to make excuses, not one

630
00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:14,839
Speaker 1: to say, well, you could have did like me, went

631
00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:17,279
Speaker 1: to the military and then moved because I did. I knew.

632
00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:20,560
Speaker 1: I knew that those around me, both of my best

633
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:25,000
Speaker 1: friends had babies at sixteen, and I knew that my situation,

634
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:27,759
Speaker 1: I was either gonna get pregnant by baller uh end

635
00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:29,600
Speaker 1: up getting time. Like most of the women who do

636
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:32,960
Speaker 1: get time is usually directly related to their boyfriends now

637
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:35,560
Speaker 1: open the car, or something had to do with something,

638
00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:38,239
Speaker 1: or I knew I was gonna get time, or end

639
00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:40,640
Speaker 1: up being killed wrong place, wrong time, and the many

640
00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:42,799
Speaker 1: girls who got shot killed because you're in the dope

641
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:45,399
Speaker 1: pass with somebody. All of that, so I knew. I said, Okay,

642
00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:48,239
Speaker 1: it's either that go to the military or work at

643
00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:51,440
Speaker 1: Firestone at the time, our GM that was the biggest

644
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:53,799
Speaker 1: employers at the time. And I decided let me go

645
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:55,360
Speaker 1: to the midges, not because I just so crazy a

646
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:57,440
Speaker 1: best ever in my country, but I saw it as

647
00:34:57,440 --> 00:34:59,880
Speaker 1: a way out, you know, the boost my resume, right,

648
00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:03,920
Speaker 1: And then I continued on. And it took me over

649
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:07,000
Speaker 1: a decade plus when I've reconnected with him, to understand

650
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 1: the impact that he had on my life, the impact

651
00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:12,800
Speaker 1: of what I escaped. And that's why I'm so passionate politics.

652
00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:14,160
Speaker 1: And so I'm saying all that to say as we

653
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:17,400
Speaker 1: wrap up, it takes time for all of us on

654
00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:20,880
Speaker 1: this journey. It takes times. You even as a professional

655
00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:23,560
Speaker 1: going to school and getting the masters and the pH

656
00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:25,960
Speaker 1: d and all of that, even you had to get

657
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:28,880
Speaker 1: in the environment in the water to say wait a minute,

658
00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:31,600
Speaker 1: Hold up, this is not what they talked about in class.

659
00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:35,360
Speaker 1: So is there grace that is there? Is there tools

660
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:38,000
Speaker 1: of grace or getting some words as we close up

661
00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:44,040
Speaker 1: on grace of just understanding. Um, you know that it

662
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:46,200
Speaker 1: takes time to grow. We're still growing. Said it on

663
00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:48,239
Speaker 1: my last episode. He said, I've so much further than

664
00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:50,960
Speaker 1: what I was, but I'm still growing. How do we,

665
00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:54,480
Speaker 1: you know, keep grace and keep believing and keep and

666
00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:56,880
Speaker 1: not be so discouraged, but also on the stander as

667
00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:58,600
Speaker 1: times where we have to take breaks and fall back.

668
00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:01,680
Speaker 1: I've had to do it many times. But I talked

669
00:36:01,719 --> 00:36:03,880
Speaker 1: a lot about by calling, which is different than a career.

670
00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:06,879
Speaker 1: A calling keeps bringing me back over and over and over.

671
00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:10,120
Speaker 1: We talked about that in the spiritual side, about understanding

672
00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:13,000
Speaker 1: your calling and your purpose. If you had to give

673
00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:16,319
Speaker 1: you know, some some closing advice on grace that we

674
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:19,440
Speaker 1: can have for each other as you're developing. You know,

675
00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:22,360
Speaker 1: how to find your talent, your give, how to build community,

676
00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:24,680
Speaker 1: how to to come out and restore some of the

677
00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:27,520
Speaker 1: relationships or to understand that some of those relationships may

678
00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:30,799
Speaker 1: not be restored. What what are some closing thoughts that

679
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:33,840
Speaker 1: you have Um, that maybe you have told folks before

680
00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:36,760
Speaker 1: on allowing um that grace and patience to a group

681
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:39,400
Speaker 1: of folks that didn't have a whole lot of patients.

682
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:42,480
Speaker 1: They wanted everything you know right now for the most part,

683
00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:45,239
Speaker 1: not everybody. So what what do you What are some

684
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:48,799
Speaker 1: closing thoughts you have on grace and patience? God, so

685
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:55,719
Speaker 1: many thoughts going through my head. Um, you know we

686
00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:59,560
Speaker 1: here about grace, like you said, like so many times

687
00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:03,600
Speaker 1: we could have been conduct and there's a responsibility like

688
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:06,880
Speaker 1: like you said that calling, like it could have been me.

689
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:10,080
Speaker 1: And that's what I learned working and the prison is

690
00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:13,319
Speaker 1: that I was one decision, one decision away from being

691
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:16,760
Speaker 1: right there where a lot of those women were. Um,

692
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:20,480
Speaker 1: and so realize you're human. You know you're gonna have

693
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:22,400
Speaker 1: rough days. You're gonna have days where you feel like

694
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:26,520
Speaker 1: giving up. And I would tell the women that I

695
00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:29,200
Speaker 1: worked with in the prison, like, I'm not gonna tell

696
00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:32,799
Speaker 1: you everything's gonna be okay. I go home every day

697
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:36,279
Speaker 1: like you were here day in and day out. But

698
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:42,000
Speaker 1: there are there are gifts inside of you. Um, You're

699
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,120
Speaker 1: not how a mistake. You have so much to offer

700
00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:46,880
Speaker 1: the world, and so sometimes it takes me and still,

701
00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:52,399
Speaker 1: as uncomfortable as that stillness can be. UM. Sometimes being

702
00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:55,879
Speaker 1: still and being quiet and just connecting to your higher power,

703
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:59,880
Speaker 1: whatever you wanna call him or her, UM, it's important

704
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:03,320
Speaker 1: you're healing. UM. In that silence, a lot of clarity

705
00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 1: will come about what your gifts are and what your

706
00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:10,600
Speaker 1: purpose is. UM. People around you who love you can

707
00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:14,280
Speaker 1: also speak life into you, can help you recognize those

708
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:16,440
Speaker 1: those gifts you have, because sometimes you can be in

709
00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:19,239
Speaker 1: a place so dark where you can't even make sense

710
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:21,480
Speaker 1: of what's going on around you or see any good

711
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:25,839
Speaker 1: in yourself. It's okay, You're gonna have those moments, UM.

712
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:28,200
Speaker 1: And so I think part of grace is just recognizing

713
00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:31,480
Speaker 1: this humanity in the ups and downs, ebbs and blows

714
00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:35,240
Speaker 1: of life. UM. Every day is not gonna be sunshine.

715
00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:37,759
Speaker 1: Every day is not gonna be dark. But I know

716
00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:40,160
Speaker 1: that there are people around you who love you, who

717
00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:42,640
Speaker 1: are loved. No matter how many people have made left,

718
00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:48,040
Speaker 1: abandoned you, rejected you, you still have people who love you, UM,

719
00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:51,960
Speaker 1: people who are praying for you. And so take it

720
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,279
Speaker 1: one day at a time. Know that you do not

721
00:38:54,440 --> 00:39:00,160
Speaker 1: have rough moment. It's rough days, rough weeks. UM. This

722
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:03,160
Speaker 1: purpose here, there's purpose here, there's purpose in your life,

723
00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:05,960
Speaker 1: this purpose and all that you have to offer, and

724
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:09,480
Speaker 1: so I know that feels really vague, but I also

725
00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:12,560
Speaker 1: I know I can't, you know, speak to everybody's situation,

726
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:16,279
Speaker 1: and even you know, some people may still after a

727
00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:18,360
Speaker 1: year and I feel like, you know, there's no point

728
00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:22,360
Speaker 1: um and and going through this, but there's purpose, and

729
00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:25,040
Speaker 1: I just I guess faith is the biggest part of

730
00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:27,480
Speaker 1: all of that. Even if you can't see a way

731
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:32,480
Speaker 1: out that things will get better, just trusting that it will.

732
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:37,040
Speaker 1: All these things will be revealed in time, your gifts,

733
00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:40,640
Speaker 1: your purpose, even your support system, most people in your

734
00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:43,160
Speaker 1: corner who you can truly go to and depend on.

735
00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:46,000
Speaker 1: If you can't see it right now, you will it'll

736
00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:49,600
Speaker 1: be re filled. Which just take it one day at

737
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:51,799
Speaker 1: a time. Yeah, I'm glad you said that, because that's

738
00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:54,920
Speaker 1: that's what I was gonna pick it back on about um.

739
00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:56,719
Speaker 1: Even though you can't see those people now, they may

740
00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:58,480
Speaker 1: be revealed in time. And I want to speak to

741
00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:00,920
Speaker 1: that as we close. When you said understand that there's

742
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:02,680
Speaker 1: people around you that love you, and I want to

743
00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:05,880
Speaker 1: speak um to those who are listening who may say no,

744
00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:10,000
Speaker 1: I literally don't have anybody you know. Everybody literally may

745
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:12,439
Speaker 1: not have somebody who loves you that you can see

746
00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:14,960
Speaker 1: and touch and tangible. But I do want to speak

747
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:18,440
Speaker 1: to that to say that when you are saying people

748
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:20,920
Speaker 1: love you, understanding maybe somebody that you do not know

749
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:24,480
Speaker 1: and you you have to understand that, um, just to

750
00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:27,120
Speaker 1: put some context that it may not be a cousin

751
00:40:27,239 --> 00:40:30,160
Speaker 1: or whoever. It may be somebody like me that loves

752
00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:32,960
Speaker 1: you enough to do this, or Dr Smith that loves

753
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:35,400
Speaker 1: you enough, or people in this space or the George

754
00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:37,799
Speaker 1: Floyest Foundation that loves you enough to want to give

755
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:41,400
Speaker 1: you this. Understand that that love is not always tangible.

756
00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:43,640
Speaker 1: And we talked about that when we talked about really

757
00:40:43,719 --> 00:40:46,319
Speaker 1: leaning into the spirit and the Holy Spirit, regardless of

758
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:49,239
Speaker 1: your religion or whatever that is for you, that sometimes

759
00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:52,880
Speaker 1: things are not tangible. Things are not they can't be touched.

760
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:54,879
Speaker 1: Like they say, we walk by faith and not by sight.

761
00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:58,280
Speaker 1: So when we say that there are somebody that loves you,

762
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:00,480
Speaker 1: you are listening to two women that love you right

763
00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:04,879
Speaker 1: now deep and understand that and have faith in that.

764
00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:07,759
Speaker 1: And and rather than being upset with the people you

765
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:10,520
Speaker 1: can touch that may not make you feel love focus

766
00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:14,120
Speaker 1: on those that do and anybody that gives their life

767
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:17,439
Speaker 1: to this work. It has to be some genuine love

768
00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:23,080
Speaker 1: because it is definitely not its definitely not easy to do.

769
00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:25,759
Speaker 1: But there are people who are fighting gay and gay

770
00:41:27,120 --> 00:41:31,239
Speaker 1: to make your lives better. Absolutely, and the Bible said

771
00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:33,760
Speaker 1: he will send you a comforter. And so I hope

772
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:37,400
Speaker 1: you found this episode comforting at some point. I know

773
00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:41,000
Speaker 1: as we wrap up our time, mental health is such

774
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:45,400
Speaker 1: a you know, a broad conversation. It does seem vague

775
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:47,319
Speaker 1: to try to cover as much as we can in

776
00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:51,080
Speaker 1: forty five minutes, um, but the goal was that, um,

777
00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:56,400
Speaker 1: you know that again, there's so many resources wrapped around. UM,

778
00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:59,520
Speaker 1: you know, you doing your time there or if there's

779
00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:02,960
Speaker 1: not access to that when you get home, find that

780
00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:06,120
Speaker 1: person that you can connect with, that you can have

781
00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:10,160
Speaker 1: a conversation with that is not restricted. Um, like the

782
00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:13,040
Speaker 1: restrictions you talked about, doc with the system wasn't set

783
00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:16,120
Speaker 1: up to help. You're in your private practice now, so

784
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:18,279
Speaker 1: we do want our presence, Liss and know that when

785
00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:21,240
Speaker 1: you get home there are people available and to find

786
00:42:21,239 --> 00:42:24,719
Speaker 1: those resources and even um, she La Bruno talked about that.

787
00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:28,200
Speaker 1: She said, you know, really interview the person you're working

788
00:42:28,239 --> 00:42:30,000
Speaker 1: with when you get home, you know, so that you

789
00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:33,360
Speaker 1: can understand that. Yeah, so that you're talking to the

790
00:42:33,440 --> 00:42:36,080
Speaker 1: right person that really really gets it. So that was

791
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:38,920
Speaker 1: what this was about, just touching on that along with

792
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:42,600
Speaker 1: the other additional five UH podcasts that we have already

793
00:42:42,600 --> 00:42:45,520
Speaker 1: put out. UM. But I want to thank you Doc

794
00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:49,319
Speaker 1: for your time. UM. Is there anything in closing that? UM?

795
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:51,920
Speaker 1: I know, again, to most of the folks who are listening,

796
00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:53,680
Speaker 1: you know, may not be able to reach out to

797
00:42:53,719 --> 00:42:56,240
Speaker 1: you because you know, restrictions of website and so forth.

798
00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:59,000
Speaker 1: But for people who are listening, UM, that are you

799
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:02,879
Speaker 1: know listening to my podcast normally are a place where

800
00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:05,400
Speaker 1: they can find you or if you're interested in and

801
00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:07,239
Speaker 1: and they want to know more about your services. As

802
00:43:07,239 --> 00:43:10,279
Speaker 1: we close up, Yeah, you can find me on my

803
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:14,520
Speaker 1: website UM Real Liberation dot Com. UM. And then when

804
00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 1: my practices Real Liberation Coaching and Consultation Services UM and

805
00:43:18,600 --> 00:43:22,880
Speaker 1: REAL stands for restore and power, aligne and love, and

806
00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:25,440
Speaker 1: so I feel like all of those are components to healing,

807
00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:28,400
Speaker 1: true true healing. UM. So you can find me on

808
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:34,320
Speaker 1: my website, can find me on Instagram at Real Liberation Coaching. UM,

809
00:43:34,360 --> 00:43:37,759
Speaker 1: I'm on Facebook, please reach out. I mean, this is

810
00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:41,240
Speaker 1: definitely a topic in the population I'm so passionate about,

811
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:43,160
Speaker 1: and like you said, I feel like I've been called

812
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:45,680
Speaker 1: to do this work um and people who are on

813
00:43:45,719 --> 00:43:49,840
Speaker 1: the ground fighting for the rights of those who can't

814
00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:53,000
Speaker 1: fight for themselves. I'm here to provide support as well.

815
00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:56,439
Speaker 1: So I support the Justice for Julius Coalition members who

816
00:43:56,960 --> 00:44:00,640
Speaker 1: with the traumatic experience in November. So if you're struggling

817
00:44:00,640 --> 00:44:03,759
Speaker 1: with just even the activism component and the tallest taking

818
00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:07,760
Speaker 1: argument on how um, that's something I'm also very passionate about.

819
00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:10,600
Speaker 1: I'm glad you said that, Yeah, because it does. It

820
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:13,000
Speaker 1: takes a toll, It helps to take a toll. And

821
00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:14,560
Speaker 1: I'm so glad you said because I'm a sending for

822
00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:16,160
Speaker 1: listener to you. And I'm like, well, I was just

823
00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:18,160
Speaker 1: thinking before you said, I was like, I wonder what

824
00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:20,399
Speaker 1: the mental health person do when they need mental health

825
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:22,160
Speaker 1: to to deal with the mental health you know, So

826
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:25,200
Speaker 1: because you're a human, yes, and so I find you

827
00:44:25,239 --> 00:44:27,360
Speaker 1: a good one. Yeah, I'm bringing it as you're healing

828
00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:30,160
Speaker 1: others that you find healing. Also, I know I do

829
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:32,799
Speaker 1: when I'm helping other people. I preach to myself I'm

830
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:36,120
Speaker 1: not just preaching to them. I'm preaching to myself absolutely

831
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:39,720
Speaker 1: stuff all the time. I'm like, I'm talking to myself, right, somebody,

832
00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:43,360
Speaker 1: I'm good for it. Yeah, yes, we're doing the work.

833
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:45,799
Speaker 1: Make sure that you have somebody in recorded to. I

834
00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:49,560
Speaker 1: have a fantastic psychologist who helps take good care of

835
00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:52,720
Speaker 1: me as your mother and doing this work we're doing.

836
00:44:53,719 --> 00:44:56,359
Speaker 1: So make sure you're taking care of yourself and you're

837
00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:59,920
Speaker 1: good to yourself as well. And I'm learning that as

838
00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:04,120
Speaker 1: uh as I grew, you know, I'm learning. I have

839
00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:06,799
Speaker 1: a teenage daughter now, and I was like, let me

840
00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:10,520
Speaker 1: make sure that I'm not that my frustrations from what

841
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:14,200
Speaker 1: I'm doing is not pouring on her or being extra

842
00:45:14,239 --> 00:45:16,680
Speaker 1: about one thing. And you know how much is she's

843
00:45:16,680 --> 00:45:19,560
Speaker 1: supposed to you know, just understand that I got a

844
00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:22,280
Speaker 1: stressful job, Like when is it? You know, do you fuss?

845
00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:24,160
Speaker 1: Do you go on? No? No No, don't And the bay

846
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:27,000
Speaker 1: the fact I told I told my cousin Yid, I said,

847
00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:28,919
Speaker 1: if you see me fussing and you think I'm going

848
00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:31,680
Speaker 1: on too much, stop like send me a text to

849
00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:33,680
Speaker 1: say hey, because you're doing a little bit too much.

850
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:37,799
Speaker 1: Realizing you know that there's always room to grow, you know,

851
00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:40,759
Speaker 1: and how how would I do affect so many other

852
00:45:40,760 --> 00:45:44,560
Speaker 1: people around me? And so I am raising a little girl. Yeah,

853
00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:46,879
Speaker 1: I mean my daughter is three, and it's like I'm

854
00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:49,399
Speaker 1: always trying to be mindful of when I'm modeling for her,

855
00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:51,840
Speaker 1: Like what is she seeing mommie doing it, She's seeing

856
00:45:51,880 --> 00:45:54,719
Speaker 1: Mommie take break, She's seeing Mommie gets stretched out. I'm

857
00:45:54,719 --> 00:45:58,239
Speaker 1: looking crazy because I just I'm giving too much of myself.

858
00:45:58,440 --> 00:46:02,000
Speaker 1: You know. That's it's really hard when you gotta woke,

859
00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:05,919
Speaker 1: extra woke mama, because everything we do that we're showing them,

860
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:08,959
Speaker 1: it's all about the bigger plan and the down the road.

861
00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:14,160
Speaker 1: And I told I said, I don't know it's hard having,

862
00:46:16,239 --> 00:46:18,480
Speaker 1: but just the list that I see, you know, and

863
00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:20,800
Speaker 1: I'm trying to you know, I'm always having conversation. You

864
00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:22,600
Speaker 1: have to understand it's gonna be different for you as

865
00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:25,239
Speaker 1: a black woman. You got and I told him, I know,

866
00:46:25,360 --> 00:46:27,560
Speaker 1: I know it's hard. I know it's hard, but I'm

867
00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:29,880
Speaker 1: hoping down the road when I'm dead and gone, you

868
00:46:30,080 --> 00:46:32,719
Speaker 1: look back and be able to say, Mama was right

869
00:46:32,719 --> 00:46:35,799
Speaker 1: about this. So it's hard. I'm sure it's really hard

870
00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:44,040
Speaker 1: having a psychologist has some mother right right, yea, Lord,

871
00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:52,719
Speaker 1: I've been well. Bless to you, Dr Smith, Thank you

872
00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:55,560
Speaker 1: again for joining me. Thank you for all of this,

873
00:46:55,840 --> 00:46:58,320
Speaker 1: for those who listen, all of the detail and preparation

874
00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:01,000
Speaker 1: that you put into this interview. UM. In our back

875
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:03,359
Speaker 1: and forth exchange, you were wanting to make sure it's

876
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:06,880
Speaker 1: so important to you that you understood to you, you

877
00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:09,960
Speaker 1: know that you we we really wanted to wrap yourself

878
00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:13,200
Speaker 1: around this conversation because you understood the impact and how

879
00:47:13,239 --> 00:47:17,760
Speaker 1: important is And I found that very um a breath

880
00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:21,200
Speaker 1: of fresh air and impressive and like, okay, she she

881
00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:23,920
Speaker 1: gets it, like this is really really important to her,

882
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:26,040
Speaker 1: and so that that means a lot that you didn't

883
00:47:26,040 --> 00:47:30,600
Speaker 1: even take just this conversation UM for granted. So uh

884
00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:33,360
Speaker 1: and whatever I can do to help with this, please,

885
00:47:33,560 --> 00:47:35,359
Speaker 1: I mean it with all my heart. I would love

886
00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:41,080
Speaker 1: to help. Yeah, this is this is an enjoy It's wonderful, amazing.

887
00:47:42,239 --> 00:47:43,920
Speaker 1: I don't know if you hear that enough, you know,

888
00:47:44,040 --> 00:47:49,680
Speaker 1: but I can always use. It's nothing wrong getting a

889
00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:53,480
Speaker 1: lot of yourself. It's making it difference. I appreciate it.

890
00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:55,719
Speaker 1: I will say that I hear more booze and I

891
00:47:55,800 --> 00:47:59,319
Speaker 1: hear applauses this. This industry is set up that way

892
00:47:59,680 --> 00:48:02,359
Speaker 1: so than any extra one that I do. And it's

893
00:48:02,400 --> 00:48:05,319
Speaker 1: kind of like the psychological you know, as somebody say, well,

894
00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:06,719
Speaker 1: you know, I don't want to blow your head up,

895
00:48:06,920 --> 00:48:08,040
Speaker 1: but I want to tell you how great you are,

896
00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:10,560
Speaker 1: and I say no, like we need that because there's

897
00:48:10,600 --> 00:48:14,000
Speaker 1: so much we get, so much of the negative that

898
00:48:14,080 --> 00:48:16,319
Speaker 1: I assure you, I get way more negative and I'll

899
00:48:16,360 --> 00:48:19,480
Speaker 1: ever get positive. And if I'm taking out the time

900
00:48:19,719 --> 00:48:23,640
Speaker 1: to believe in our us, our people, then feed me too,

901
00:48:23,719 --> 00:48:25,799
Speaker 1: because we both have to be fed. Or the car

902
00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:28,359
Speaker 1: can't go nowhere without no fuel. Somebody gotta be driving,

903
00:48:28,400 --> 00:48:30,560
Speaker 1: Somebody gotta pump the gas, Somebody gotta put five dollars

904
00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:32,640
Speaker 1: in the gap. Like we have got to figure out

905
00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:35,840
Speaker 1: how to move this vehicle forward. And it requires all

906
00:48:35,880 --> 00:48:40,080
Speaker 1: of us. And we can never love on each other enough,

907
00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:43,760
Speaker 1: and we don't love on each other enough. We just don't.

908
00:48:44,360 --> 00:48:46,279
Speaker 1: And and that's why we get burned out and why

909
00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:48,680
Speaker 1: we say forget it. It's no point to no point

910
00:48:48,680 --> 00:48:51,319
Speaker 1: in talking to dead people. Why talk to the cemetery.

911
00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:53,600
Speaker 1: Doing this work is like going to the cemetery and

912
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:56,560
Speaker 1: having a conversation expecting people to talk back. So it's

913
00:48:56,719 --> 00:49:01,920
Speaker 1: very very tough. So any time show love, yeah, and

914
00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:04,360
Speaker 1: you the same, you know, our conversations back and form

915
00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:06,520
Speaker 1: like doc got get it. Take a break for yourself.

916
00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:08,440
Speaker 1: Make sure you're taking a break, said, I don't have

917
00:49:08,520 --> 00:49:10,160
Speaker 1: to know you to know that. I just know what

918
00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:13,680
Speaker 1: the stress involved in running a business and tails you know,

919
00:49:13,840 --> 00:49:19,239
Speaker 1: so not even counting life. Yeah, life goes on regardless

920
00:49:19,239 --> 00:49:20,960
Speaker 1: of whatever is going on. They don't care about the

921
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:22,879
Speaker 1: system and the water and then all of the great

922
00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:25,840
Speaker 1: analogies I said, life goes on. Bills gotta be paid,

923
00:49:25,840 --> 00:49:28,359
Speaker 1: stuff gotta be done, people gotta be ready like this,

924
00:49:28,360 --> 00:49:31,600
Speaker 1: this is what it is. So, um, that's very tough.

925
00:49:32,040 --> 00:49:34,719
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna do some podcasts on that, you know,

926
00:49:34,840 --> 00:49:37,920
Speaker 1: later on just because you and and you confirmed it

927
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:40,120
Speaker 1: by saying, even people in this space will need help

928
00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:42,880
Speaker 1: and I want to really I'm gonna deal with that

929
00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:45,800
Speaker 1: because the past weekend, um, when I went to the

930
00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:50,360
Speaker 1: trade of my Martin Foundation. Yeah, oh man, I'm telling

931
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:53,120
Speaker 1: you just being around other people to get death threads

932
00:49:53,160 --> 00:49:55,200
Speaker 1: and deal with what I gotta deal with. And even

933
00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:57,120
Speaker 1: though we don't all move the same and I don't,

934
00:49:57,160 --> 00:49:59,319
Speaker 1: and there's things We have many conversations on saying, hey,

935
00:49:59,320 --> 00:50:02,160
Speaker 1: I would have did it friendly or I wouldn't necessarily

936
00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:04,800
Speaker 1: did what you did. But just being around other people

937
00:50:05,200 --> 00:50:08,960
Speaker 1: that you know that are going through something similar, man,

938
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:12,360
Speaker 1: it takes my spirits. It gives me another extra hundred

939
00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:16,080
Speaker 1: mass running this race. It really does building community. And

940
00:50:16,120 --> 00:50:18,000
Speaker 1: that's different than my two best friends who have known

941
00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:19,800
Speaker 1: me all of my life. I have two best friends,

942
00:50:19,880 --> 00:50:23,080
Speaker 1: so I know the difference between community in this industry

943
00:50:23,120 --> 00:50:25,040
Speaker 1: and two best friends. And I tell all my business

944
00:50:25,040 --> 00:50:29,200
Speaker 1: to my partners in this movement. It's a different level

945
00:50:29,280 --> 00:50:32,200
Speaker 1: of community that we have to encourage each other. Sometimes

946
00:50:32,200 --> 00:50:35,200
Speaker 1: even your husband or your wife doesn't understand, or your

947
00:50:35,239 --> 00:50:38,279
Speaker 1: friends don't understand because they don't live it. So I

948
00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:41,440
Speaker 1: think that's the takeaway I'm taking from this, build community

949
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:46,040
Speaker 1: incarcerated or not. Build community that can keep you, you know,

950
00:50:46,160 --> 00:50:49,719
Speaker 1: on on the path forward. So I'm so glad to

951
00:50:49,760 --> 00:50:56,120
Speaker 1: see that you have that weekend it was helping you do.

952
00:50:56,360 --> 00:50:58,719
Speaker 1: I'm glad you raisized that it was a fuel like.

953
00:50:58,760 --> 00:51:02,120
Speaker 1: It wasn't just you know, refueling at the bar, which

954
00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:06,279
Speaker 1: was nice, by the way, it was, it was a

955
00:51:06,400 --> 00:51:10,520
Speaker 1: psychological refueling. You know that is just so so necessary,

956
00:51:10,640 --> 00:51:14,200
Speaker 1: So so thank you so much again Dr Smith for

957
00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:18,080
Speaker 1: joining me. Um everybody, please do yourself a favor go

958
00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:21,240
Speaker 1: back listen to the This Entire podcast series Again. Shout

959
00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:23,000
Speaker 1: out to the George Floyd Foundation for giving me the

960
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:27,879
Speaker 1: opportunity to host this very, very impactful series and subscribe.

961
00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:29,880
Speaker 1: One of the most important things we can do to

962
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:32,759
Speaker 1: keep at least these conversations going is subscribed to the

963
00:51:32,760 --> 00:51:37,160
Speaker 1: podcast I always talk about, podcast listeners are not black,

964
00:51:37,200 --> 00:51:40,440
Speaker 1: and so it's important that the powers that be understand

965
00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:43,040
Speaker 1: that we need information as well. Everything is not always

966
00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:46,239
Speaker 1: a video or TV or too many Instagram posts. We

967
00:51:46,320 --> 00:51:48,839
Speaker 1: have to be able to put information out that it's

968
00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:51,040
Speaker 1: helpful to us. So shout out again to Charlemagne God

969
00:51:51,040 --> 00:51:53,799
Speaker 1: in the Black Effect Podcast Network for even understanding the

970
00:51:53,840 --> 00:51:57,520
Speaker 1: need of being able to have a podcast network that

971
00:51:57,600 --> 00:52:00,840
Speaker 1: gives us everything we need, not just education but also entertainment.

972
00:52:00,920 --> 00:52:03,360
Speaker 1: So do me a favorite. Please subscribe to the podcast

973
00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:05,759
Speaker 1: Straight Shot, No Chase, or wherever you get your podcasts.

974
00:52:06,160 --> 00:52:09,120
Speaker 1: And until next time, like I always say, use the loser,

975
00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:10,560
Speaker 1: k make it choose that I hope you found some

976
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:13,279
Speaker 1: of these information helpful to either use yourself or for

977
00:52:13,360 --> 00:52:16,880
Speaker 1: someone else. Will be in touch peace. If you like

978
00:52:17,040 --> 00:52:19,640
Speaker 1: what you heard on Straight Shot No Chaser, please subscribe

979
00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:21,800
Speaker 1: and drop a five star review and tell a friend.

980
00:52:21,880 --> 00:52:24,040
Speaker 1: Straight Shot No Chaser is a production of The Black

981
00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:26,800
Speaker 1: Effect Podcast Network and I Heart Radio, an Tesla and

982
00:52:26,840 --> 00:52:29,160
Speaker 1: figure Out, and I'd like to thank our producer editor

983
00:52:29,360 --> 00:52:32,960
Speaker 1: Mixer Dwyane Crawford and our executive producer Charlemagne The Good

984
00:52:33,040 --> 00:52:35,840
Speaker 1: for More podcast from I Heart Radio, visit the I

985
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:39,799
Speaker 1: heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.