1 00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:05,520 Speaker 1: Welcome to Katie's Crib, a production of Shonda Land Audio 2 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:09,200 Speaker 1: in partnership with I Heart Radio. Hi everyone, and welcome 3 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:12,800 Speaker 1: back to Katie's Crib. This week, I'm rereleasing one of 4 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:16,079 Speaker 1: my early interviews back from We'll have a brand new 5 00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:25,759 Speaker 1: episode up for you next week. Enjoy the conversation. Bye, 6 00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:29,880 Speaker 1: Welcome back to Katie's Crib. You guys. I'm Katie Lows, 7 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:33,120 Speaker 1: and today we are tackling a topic at the forefront 8 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:36,600 Speaker 1: of my mind with the mother who wrote the book 9 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:39,960 Speaker 1: on it, author of How to Raise a Reader. She's 10 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:41,839 Speaker 1: the editor of the New York Times Book Review and 11 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:45,559 Speaker 1: the host of their book review weekly podcast. Please welcome 12 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:50,280 Speaker 1: the one and only Pamela Paul. Pamela. Thank you so 13 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:52,320 Speaker 1: much for going. I like, wait first, do you go 14 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:56,360 Speaker 1: by pam or Pamela Pamela. I'm a Pamela Great. I 15 00:00:56,440 --> 00:01:00,360 Speaker 1: love that. Okay, So, Pamela, A little bit of backstory. UM, 16 00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:02,720 Speaker 1: My mother in law, who I'm very close with, came 17 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:04,680 Speaker 1: to visit and she had cut out a New York 18 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:07,840 Speaker 1: Times article and placed it on my desk should I 19 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:10,800 Speaker 1: so happen to see it? And the article was how 20 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:14,520 Speaker 1: to Raise a Reader, which became your book. My mother 21 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:16,919 Speaker 1: in law is an avid reader. I am as well. 22 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,720 Speaker 1: My husband, who's her son, is not. I think we've 23 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:22,479 Speaker 1: been together thirteen years and I I think I've maybe 24 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:28,720 Speaker 1: seen him read one or two books maybe, Um. I 25 00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:32,600 Speaker 1: think one was on back Pain because he has a 26 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:37,720 Speaker 1: bad back, and then UM one was I think Headache 27 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:41,920 Speaker 1: of the Pelvis because he was also having pelvic floor problems. So, um, 28 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:43,640 Speaker 1: those are the only two books I've seen him read. 29 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:46,520 Speaker 1: He's an avid reader of his phone and the news 30 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 1: and things like that, but he has never read a 31 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:53,440 Speaker 1: book for enjoyment. And um, we have a two and 32 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:57,840 Speaker 1: a half year old son, and I I just your 33 00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:00,440 Speaker 1: article really really spoke to me, and your word really 34 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:03,280 Speaker 1: speaks to me. And I I'm a New Yorker, so 35 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:07,720 Speaker 1: I'm a warrior and I am already worried about how 36 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:10,360 Speaker 1: to raise a reader. It was like, well, I gotta 37 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:13,000 Speaker 1: have Pamela on this podcast because I got some questions 38 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,760 Speaker 1: for her. Um, so first, why don't you tell me 39 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,240 Speaker 1: a little bit about yourself and how many words per 40 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:21,200 Speaker 1: minute you read? All right, well, let's start off with 41 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:23,919 Speaker 1: the fact that I am also a warrior. Um. The 42 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:26,400 Speaker 1: book that I wrote immediately before this My Life with 43 00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:30,920 Speaker 1: Bob flawed heroin seeks book of books. Plot ensues. The 44 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:34,720 Speaker 1: first paragraph is actually about everything that I worry about 45 00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:37,480 Speaker 1: at night, and that if I can't find something, you know, 46 00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:39,400 Speaker 1: if I don't have something sort of in the queue 47 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:41,480 Speaker 1: to worry about, I will find it. So we are 48 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:44,239 Speaker 1: on the same page there um, and on the same 49 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:48,079 Speaker 1: page in terms of being readers. But maybe you will 50 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:52,799 Speaker 1: be also like me, a slow reader, so words per 51 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:56,119 Speaker 1: minute like that kind of thing terrifies me, or pages 52 00:02:56,200 --> 00:03:02,760 Speaker 1: per minute. I'm actually hugely slow and distractable reader, so 53 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:07,160 Speaker 1: I know, I know it's a huge defect at my 54 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:11,600 Speaker 1: line of work. And I also forget everything that I read. Um, 55 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,200 Speaker 1: So you know I said I don't forget. For example, 56 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,079 Speaker 1: when I meet someone, I joke that I should have 57 00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:19,520 Speaker 1: worked at like E Entertainment television because I remember exactly 58 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:22,240 Speaker 1: when I meet someone in the circumstances, but I do 59 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:24,720 Speaker 1: not remember what I read. The nice part of that 60 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:27,920 Speaker 1: is that rereading is like when I do it a 61 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:30,040 Speaker 1: total pleasure because it's like I'm enjoying it for the 62 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:32,919 Speaker 1: first time. Does it seem at all? I have that too, 63 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:35,320 Speaker 1: where I'll read a book I'll start something and I'll 64 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:38,000 Speaker 1: be like, I've been here before, and I've been like, 65 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:40,680 Speaker 1: oh my god, I feel like I've totally read this, 66 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:43,720 Speaker 1: but I'm not one percent sure, so I'll just keep going. Yes, 67 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,040 Speaker 1: I you know, it's funny. I the same thing happens 68 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:49,160 Speaker 1: with movies. And I remember once being at Lincoln Plaza 69 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:52,320 Speaker 1: cinema now closed, but you'll remember, as a fellow New Yorker, 70 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:56,680 Speaker 1: UM the Great Upper West Side our cinema, and sitting 71 00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:59,840 Speaker 1: there and watching a French movie and thinking, why do 72 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:04,320 Speaker 1: every French movie about the French Resistance have to start 73 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:07,280 Speaker 1: Julie Pinos and Daniel o'tei And why must it always 74 00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:11,520 Speaker 1: start with a nighttime scene of them bombing a train track? 75 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,560 Speaker 1: And it only you know. I was about thirty minutes 76 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:17,480 Speaker 1: into the movie before I realized I saw this movie. 77 00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:19,919 Speaker 1: I saw this movie when it first came out in France, 78 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:23,680 Speaker 1: like three years earlier. Um, but I stayed so I 79 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:26,359 Speaker 1: can I can enjoy the for the second time. It 80 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:29,680 Speaker 1: does become vaguely familiar. But one interesting thing I think 81 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:34,240 Speaker 1: about reading is that every time you reread a book, 82 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:38,080 Speaker 1: you're at a different place in your own life and 83 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:41,720 Speaker 1: your perspective has changed, and what's going on around you 84 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:45,880 Speaker 1: has changed, and so every reading experience is different from 85 00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:49,440 Speaker 1: the previous one. And I bear that in mind, especially 86 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:52,720 Speaker 1: when you think about raising children who are readers. And 87 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:55,960 Speaker 1: if your son, Albi is um, we're about three years old, 88 00:04:56,120 --> 00:05:00,560 Speaker 1: he's probably asking again again again for the same I 89 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:03,919 Speaker 1: hide them and is that bad? I literally can't today 90 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:07,240 Speaker 1: Thomas and friends. I was like, I was honest, I said, 91 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:09,600 Speaker 1: you know what, I'll be Mommy's board of this book. 92 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:11,400 Speaker 1: I'm just going to give it a rest for today. 93 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:14,039 Speaker 1: We can come back to it tomorrow. But I can't 94 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:17,719 Speaker 1: do this again. Well, it's it's interesting. So there are 95 00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:20,240 Speaker 1: a couple of things that kids get from rereading. One 96 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:22,880 Speaker 1: is if you think about yourself and if you read 97 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:25,080 Speaker 1: a book, like let's say you read a book in 98 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:26,920 Speaker 1: your twenties, and I'm going to give it an example 99 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,840 Speaker 1: that maybe not everyone has read, but it's a good example. 100 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:33,599 Speaker 1: Anna Karenina by Tolstoy. That's a book that we I 101 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:36,600 Speaker 1: think we all know about an adulterous woman. If you 102 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:39,640 Speaker 1: read that in your twenties, right, and you're single, you 103 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:42,640 Speaker 1: think this is so romantic. Anna has met the love 104 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:45,000 Speaker 1: of her life. This is amazing. I mean until we 105 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,760 Speaker 1: get to the sorry spoiler alert, but suicide at the end. 106 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:51,040 Speaker 1: And it's a love story. But if you read it 107 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:54,120 Speaker 1: when you're in your thirties, say, and you are newly 108 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:56,640 Speaker 1: married and you're very happy and maybe you have a child, 109 00:05:56,800 --> 00:06:02,000 Speaker 1: you think she's terrible. Yeah, what are like she has 110 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:05,520 Speaker 1: abandoned her child and her husband. What kind of mother? 111 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:08,279 Speaker 1: What kind of woman? And then though, if you read 112 00:06:08,279 --> 00:06:10,160 Speaker 1: it again and like your forties or your fifties or 113 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:12,320 Speaker 1: your sixties, you're like, mah, I kind of get it, 114 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:15,520 Speaker 1: like she needed to know that she was having like right, 115 00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:17,680 Speaker 1: life is long, and she was having a different experience. 116 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:20,440 Speaker 1: I guess I can sort of relate because we do 117 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:23,960 Speaker 1: as actors, like I like to see the same plays 118 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:25,880 Speaker 1: over and over again, you know, like I'll run to 119 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:28,880 Speaker 1: see Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf? You know X amount 120 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:31,360 Speaker 1: of times, although I guess it's to see somebody perform it. 121 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:33,839 Speaker 1: But I'm also always in a different place in my life, 122 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:36,240 Speaker 1: and I pick up new and different things and understand 123 00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:40,279 Speaker 1: them differently. And so with kids, they're changing and developing 124 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:43,839 Speaker 1: so quickly that if a four year old reads a 125 00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:47,400 Speaker 1: book and then even two months later, once it read again, 126 00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:52,279 Speaker 1: they're a different person by that time, they're different interesting, 127 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:54,960 Speaker 1: And as they get older, this is even more the 128 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:58,320 Speaker 1: case because, like, let's use Harry Potter as an example 129 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:01,080 Speaker 1: that everyone is familiar with. If you read Harry Potter 130 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:03,680 Speaker 1: as some kids you know, do sort of precociously or 131 00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:05,680 Speaker 1: have it read to them when they're in third or 132 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:10,680 Speaker 1: fourth grade, all that stuff about Cedric dying again. Sorry 133 00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:13,880 Speaker 1: if I'm giving away plot points here. It read all 134 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:15,640 Speaker 1: the freaking Harry Potters it was. That was like a 135 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:17,480 Speaker 1: decade or more than that. Oh my god, I don't 136 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:19,320 Speaker 1: even know. No, no spoilers, go for it, all right. 137 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:22,040 Speaker 1: So at the end of book, for um Cedric who 138 00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:24,960 Speaker 1: is a lovable character, um sort of side character, but 139 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:27,760 Speaker 1: nonetheless he did nothing wrong. He's a good kid, and 140 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:30,840 Speaker 1: he dies. So for a lot of kids, at a 141 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:34,280 Speaker 1: certain point, they're too young and they might not process it. Um. 142 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:37,360 Speaker 1: At a slightly older age, they might be like that's terrible, 143 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:40,600 Speaker 1: and like that's not you know, kids often see things 144 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:42,480 Speaker 1: in very black and white terms. They be like, how 145 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:46,320 Speaker 1: can a good person die? That's not okay? And then 146 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:49,720 Speaker 1: as they get even older, they might be genuinely upset 147 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:52,920 Speaker 1: by it on an emotional level because maybe they're that age. 148 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:55,800 Speaker 1: And then when they get even older, they might appreciate 149 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:57,840 Speaker 1: it as a reader, as a literary device. They might 150 00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:01,360 Speaker 1: be like, Oh, that's so interesting. So he dies. And 151 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:06,040 Speaker 1: that's when the novels JK. Rollings seven Harry Potter novels 152 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:10,160 Speaker 1: shift from being books for children into being books for teenagers, 153 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:12,840 Speaker 1: which is what happens in books five, six, and seven. 154 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:15,280 Speaker 1: They become books for teenagers. Um and of course grown 155 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,640 Speaker 1: ups like them too, but little kids. A lot of 156 00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:20,320 Speaker 1: the stuff that happens in those later books it's teenage 157 00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:23,880 Speaker 1: stuff because JK. Rolling had the books age and the 158 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,560 Speaker 1: character's age along with her readers, so that the people 159 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:29,760 Speaker 1: who originally joined in would sort of constantly feel like 160 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,600 Speaker 1: it was about them and like a little kid, you know, 161 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:35,360 Speaker 1: they're not gonna the love story, and like the kind 162 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:38,160 Speaker 1: of middle school antics that happened between the characters where 163 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:40,280 Speaker 1: people aren't talking to one another, like that's kind of 164 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:43,240 Speaker 1: just kind of glide over them. But for the reader 165 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:46,000 Speaker 1: who's eleven and twelve years old, that completely hits them 166 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,440 Speaker 1: where they're Yeah, it's right where they are. What about 167 00:08:48,679 --> 00:08:53,080 Speaker 1: when we're at this new phase right now where um, 168 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:57,040 Speaker 1: he just learned that things scare him. Um, it's like 169 00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:59,240 Speaker 1: new in the past couple of weeks. So now there's 170 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:03,000 Speaker 1: just a lot of quests to skip certain pages or 171 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:05,040 Speaker 1: you know, like, oh, just make sure you don't do 172 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:07,520 Speaker 1: the rocket thing. That's too even though the page just 173 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,559 Speaker 1: has rockets on it. He's like, no, that's too loud. 174 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:10,880 Speaker 1: I don't want to read that page. And like, I 175 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:12,480 Speaker 1: got it, We're not going to read that page. Was 176 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:15,439 Speaker 1: skipping it, you know, or he'll he'll wake up. Sometimes 177 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:20,400 Speaker 1: there's a kid's book called the Gruffalo or oh things 178 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:23,719 Speaker 1: that have monsters or dinosaurs me to love. But like 179 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:25,920 Speaker 1: he was so into it for a week and then 180 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:27,680 Speaker 1: the next week he was like, it's too scary, and 181 00:09:27,679 --> 00:09:29,439 Speaker 1: I said, okay, it's too scary. You know. He had 182 00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:31,040 Speaker 1: a night where he went to sleep in. An hour 183 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:32,720 Speaker 1: later he woke up and he said, Mom, I'm scared 184 00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:36,400 Speaker 1: of the Gruffalo. Um. And I feel like these are 185 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:40,600 Speaker 1: all new emotions. Similarly, I was in nanny for like 186 00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:43,280 Speaker 1: ten years before I was able to just be an actor, 187 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:46,880 Speaker 1: and I remember kind of on the flip side, I 188 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,440 Speaker 1: remember some of my older kids really getting obsessed with 189 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:54,240 Speaker 1: like very dark dark books, um, things about death and 190 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:56,760 Speaker 1: and things that and really leaning into that. Is there 191 00:09:56,760 --> 00:10:00,520 Speaker 1: ever a time where you like, kids shouldn't be reading 192 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:03,920 Speaker 1: stuff like shouldn't be I don't know. I mean, I 193 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:05,760 Speaker 1: guess it's the same with movies, or maybe it's not. 194 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,480 Speaker 1: I don't know. This is your imagination, which is awesome. 195 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:12,040 Speaker 1: But um, I was reading something from your book My 196 00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:14,480 Speaker 1: Life with Bob, which you brought up, and it said, 197 00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:17,080 Speaker 1: like many other morbid kids with Jewish ancestry, I was 198 00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:19,679 Speaker 1: drawn to Holocaust reading from the moment I d a 199 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:22,880 Speaker 1: lessons seeking out death and torture and deprivation and evil, 200 00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:25,640 Speaker 1: which I totally get. Um, Now, my kid's not there, 201 00:10:25,679 --> 00:10:28,400 Speaker 1: he's afraid and just doesn't want to process it. But 202 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:32,760 Speaker 1: is there is that right to to just follow his rules? A? 203 00:10:33,559 --> 00:10:36,160 Speaker 1: And then the second question and that is is there 204 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:40,280 Speaker 1: things that kids shouldn't be reading? Oh? These are two 205 00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:44,880 Speaker 1: really great questions and big questions. Um. And I want 206 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:47,160 Speaker 1: to say that it obviously had training as a nanny 207 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:50,840 Speaker 1: in parenthood, which is very good because you know, it 208 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:53,760 Speaker 1: sounds like you should what you're doing what you should 209 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:55,880 Speaker 1: be doing, which is let your child take the lead, 210 00:10:56,360 --> 00:11:00,480 Speaker 1: and that applies to, you know, skipping over pages, slowing down, 211 00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:04,520 Speaker 1: sadly often reading a book for the twenty time. And 212 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:06,280 Speaker 1: I'm going to note that and tell my husband that 213 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:09,760 Speaker 1: today that Thomas and Friends is back on the pile. Yes, 214 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:12,319 Speaker 1: I know, it's it's. It's it's There are some books 215 00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:15,040 Speaker 1: that are so terribly boring to have to reread. For us, 216 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:18,120 Speaker 1: it was the Biscuit books, which are just unbearable. And 217 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:20,200 Speaker 1: if you're not familiar with them, you can just put 218 00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:22,839 Speaker 1: that on your do not go list. Um. And we 219 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:25,680 Speaker 1: don't have those unless you like to say, woof Wolf 220 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:29,440 Speaker 1: like ten tho times in this space of thirty two pages. Um. 221 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:34,440 Speaker 1: But reading it repeatedly to your child does actually have UM, 222 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:39,440 Speaker 1: really good pedagogical um sort of. It has an impact 223 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:42,160 Speaker 1: in that your kids are starting to memorize it, they're 224 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,720 Speaker 1: becoming familiar with it, they're learning in a way to read, 225 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:47,800 Speaker 1: and that in that they're beginning to recognize the world. 226 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:50,000 Speaker 1: They know the story by heart, and then they can 227 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:53,679 Speaker 1: quote unquote read it to themselves, which is like, it's 228 00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:55,960 Speaker 1: amazing to see he's like memorized. I can't believe it. 229 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,480 Speaker 1: It's crazy, he says. The book pages before I get there, 230 00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:02,400 Speaker 1: yeah and so, and as part of that taking the lead, 231 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:05,280 Speaker 1: if they are scared of something, it's definitely a good 232 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:08,000 Speaker 1: idea to skip over it, because like, we're not instructors. 233 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:11,120 Speaker 1: We're not teaching our child how to read. We're teaching 234 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:14,079 Speaker 1: them to love to read. That's our job as parents. 235 00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:17,960 Speaker 1: And so why would you force your child through something 236 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,080 Speaker 1: that is not pleasurable to them or just bringing up 237 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:22,200 Speaker 1: negative emotions. So you definitely want to let them go 238 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:26,000 Speaker 1: pass those scary passages. And perhaps because you're an actor, 239 00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:28,559 Speaker 1: you'll fall into a trap that I too fell into 240 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:31,640 Speaker 1: even though I can't act at all, which is sometimes 241 00:12:31,679 --> 00:12:35,439 Speaker 1: you get very caught up in your own performance experience. 242 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:39,600 Speaker 1: That's right, you mean my performance of the Gruffalo. Sure, 243 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,319 Speaker 1: exactly what you're saying, Right, You've got voices for all 244 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:46,319 Speaker 1: those characters, right, Like the snake has its own little 245 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:49,920 Speaker 1: hissing thing. For sure. You got me nailed, okay, And 246 00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:52,760 Speaker 1: so it's kind of upsetting when your child would be like, 247 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:55,040 Speaker 1: I don't like the ogre voice, or like could you 248 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:58,559 Speaker 1: stop it with a hissing um. There were certain books 249 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:01,440 Speaker 1: that I liked to say rather than read aloud. And 250 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,880 Speaker 1: I also can't sing and my kids let it be 251 00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:06,480 Speaker 1: known after a while that like, actually, could you just 252 00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:09,080 Speaker 1: read that and not sing it? You don't have to 253 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:11,240 Speaker 1: make up a little tune for bread and jam with 254 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:14,800 Speaker 1: Francis for Francis and so um. It's that that kind 255 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:16,040 Speaker 1: of stuff you have to let go of as a 256 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:18,280 Speaker 1: parent and really hand it to your kids. And I 257 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:21,000 Speaker 1: think the same thing goes with your second question, um, 258 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:23,840 Speaker 1: which is there's a lot to that question about you know, 259 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:27,760 Speaker 1: when is your child too young to read something scary? Um. 260 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:32,440 Speaker 1: I believe firmly that one, kids kind of know what 261 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:35,680 Speaker 1: they're ready for and what they're not ready for. And 262 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:40,040 Speaker 1: also kids are like kids will put things down and 263 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:42,679 Speaker 1: they also will choose to see certain things. That goes 264 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:44,680 Speaker 1: back to what I was saying about Harry Potter. You know, 265 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:46,720 Speaker 1: like if you think back to some of the things 266 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:49,040 Speaker 1: that you movies, you saw books you read as a 267 00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:51,040 Speaker 1: child and you didn't quite get it, and then you 268 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:52,800 Speaker 1: see it again as a growing up and you're like, 269 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:56,559 Speaker 1: oh my god. You know, like I had no idea. Um, 270 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:58,800 Speaker 1: I'm a little bit older than you, and when I 271 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:01,760 Speaker 1: was growing up in the seventies and eighties, you know, 272 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:04,800 Speaker 1: parents weren't as as protective or cautious about material, and 273 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:06,760 Speaker 1: there wasn't as much that was directly made for kids. 274 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:09,200 Speaker 1: They'd be like, sure, let's all go see terms of 275 00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:12,080 Speaker 1: Endearment or you know, let's go to watership down where 276 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:15,520 Speaker 1: there are bloody bunnies, you know, dying on fields and 277 00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:18,640 Speaker 1: everything sort of, you know, if it wasn't our sort 278 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:21,680 Speaker 1: of seem like maybe it was okay. A lot of 279 00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:24,720 Speaker 1: the times I didn't absorb that stuff. I mean, I 280 00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:27,480 Speaker 1: remember seeing Terms of Endearment, for example, with my mother, 281 00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:30,400 Speaker 1: and she came out sobbing and was so apologetic, and 282 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,120 Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know what the problem is. 283 00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:34,160 Speaker 1: Of course I saw it as an adult and I 284 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:38,640 Speaker 1: was weeping. Um, but kids don't necessarily see or absorb 285 00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:41,560 Speaker 1: all that, and some kids are drawn to it and 286 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:45,080 Speaker 1: some very much are not. And one of the fascinating 287 00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:47,640 Speaker 1: things I find about, you know, viewing your child as 288 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:50,600 Speaker 1: a reader, as you really have this different lens into 289 00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:53,800 Speaker 1: their inner life, because you find out things that you 290 00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:57,160 Speaker 1: wouldn't necessarily know. Like one of my three kids, um 291 00:14:57,480 --> 00:15:00,760 Speaker 1: doesn't like sad stories? Does really? Now? Two of them 292 00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:04,240 Speaker 1: don't like sad stories. I love crying when I read. 293 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,480 Speaker 1: I love it so much like if it if it 294 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:09,200 Speaker 1: breaks me down, I'm like, this is the best book. 295 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:15,120 Speaker 1: Um My kids really don't like that, and so they 296 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:18,160 Speaker 1: will shut the book. They'll ask not to get a 297 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:20,400 Speaker 1: book about a dying squirrel again, or about like a 298 00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:24,040 Speaker 1: you know, disabled box. Um. And you know, and then 299 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,240 Speaker 1: there are kids that really really want that and seek 300 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:28,720 Speaker 1: that out, especially when they get to you know, the 301 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:33,080 Speaker 1: teenage years. That's great. So really we're letting them take 302 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:36,960 Speaker 1: the lead. Were you a huge reader as a kid? Um? 303 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:40,680 Speaker 1: I definitely was a huge reader as a kid. I um, 304 00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:43,480 Speaker 1: I felt like things were better in books than they 305 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:46,040 Speaker 1: were in real life. Um I. It wasn't that I 306 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:48,440 Speaker 1: was a hugely unhappy child. I grew up with though, 307 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:51,000 Speaker 1: with seven brothers. And some people will hear that and 308 00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:52,880 Speaker 1: they'll be like, you must have been so spoiled and 309 00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:55,280 Speaker 1: so cherished, and it's like no, I was, you know, 310 00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:59,680 Speaker 1: got the crappy eaten out of me. Like anything anything 311 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:02,440 Speaker 1: that yeah, anything that was like remotely girlish was like 312 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:06,320 Speaker 1: really not cool. Um And also it um I often 313 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:08,840 Speaker 1: had a situation where they would get paired off and 314 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,360 Speaker 1: I would be alone. So girlhood was sort of seen 315 00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:14,600 Speaker 1: as a negative thing. I was also really shy, and 316 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:18,040 Speaker 1: I had no skills or talents whatsoever. So you know, 317 00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:21,440 Speaker 1: other kids might go and have you know, violin lessons, 318 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:26,040 Speaker 1: or play soccer or do gymnastics, and I was really 319 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:30,000 Speaker 1: um unskilled at all of those things. And so for me, 320 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:33,520 Speaker 1: the default was always to read in books because things 321 00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:35,920 Speaker 1: felt better in there. Um. You know, there were sisters 322 00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:38,640 Speaker 1: in books, and everybody got along, and you know, parents 323 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:41,560 Speaker 1: made like homemade meals that weren't you know, steam broccoli 324 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:44,120 Speaker 1: and baked potatoes and just like all these great things 325 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,520 Speaker 1: would happen in books or you could you know, be 326 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:51,560 Speaker 1: heroin like Meg Murray and A Wrinkle in Time. Yeah, 327 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:55,600 Speaker 1: did your um? Were your parents very like you said? 328 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,920 Speaker 1: They really were? They just leaving you alone and so 329 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,440 Speaker 1: you were able to read whatever you so shows? Or 330 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:03,640 Speaker 1: were they encouraging of the topics and things that you 331 00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:05,639 Speaker 1: were interested in. Well, you know, I grew up in 332 00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:08,199 Speaker 1: the great era of underparenting. You know, it was like 333 00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:11,760 Speaker 1: take benine to collect and like and multiply it. So 334 00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:14,280 Speaker 1: a lot of the time they weren't all too aware. 335 00:17:14,359 --> 00:17:16,439 Speaker 1: But I was also a very good kid, even though 336 00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:19,560 Speaker 1: I'd like to read about dark things. And I remember Um. 337 00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:22,120 Speaker 1: I remember one time going and getting a book. Um, 338 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:24,919 Speaker 1: and now I was probably ten years old, and I, 339 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,680 Speaker 1: you know, would pick things out because of the cover. 340 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:29,600 Speaker 1: I didn't know what I was doing, and I realized 341 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:31,240 Speaker 1: as I got into it that it was a lesbian 342 00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:34,840 Speaker 1: love story and fairly explicit, and I actually turned it in. 343 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,199 Speaker 1: I was like, I don't think this is appropriate for me. 344 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:40,320 Speaker 1: Such a goody two shoes. I'm obsessed by the way. 345 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,840 Speaker 1: I can only call that because I would have done 346 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:47,560 Speaker 1: the exact same. Although although then fast forward about a 347 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:51,840 Speaker 1: year later, I was reading Bob Woodward's Wired, which was 348 00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:54,240 Speaker 1: the John Belushi story, and you know, I think my 349 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:59,040 Speaker 1: mom saw it and confiscated it. Yeah, that should not 350 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:02,159 Speaker 1: that's not that's that's a lot I was. I think, 351 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:07,560 Speaker 1: oh my god. Yea, like, you're not reading about a harmonatic. 352 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:17,359 Speaker 1: I mentioned this already, but so I'm a reader, Adam 353 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,359 Speaker 1: is not. Are there any I'm not sure how it 354 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:21,480 Speaker 1: is in your household, but are there any tips on 355 00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:25,360 Speaker 1: how to encourage partners to cross over the reading rainbow 356 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:29,480 Speaker 1: so to speak? I mean, I feel, I mean, we 357 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:33,840 Speaker 1: have you talked about, like reading right now in our 358 00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:37,000 Speaker 1: son's life is very ritualistic. It's what he does first 359 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:40,120 Speaker 1: thing in the morning, um, when he wakes up, and 360 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,439 Speaker 1: you know, it's a good thirty minutes, and it's what 361 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:45,520 Speaker 1: he does before bed and and he demands it, you 362 00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:46,960 Speaker 1: know what I mean, He's like, is it time to 363 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,920 Speaker 1: read books now? Like it's a it's a real thing. 364 00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:53,240 Speaker 1: And I actually took this idea from Carrie Washington. But 365 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:56,800 Speaker 1: I didn't need I was one of the many perks 366 00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:59,000 Speaker 1: of being an actor is for some reason, when you 367 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:01,160 Speaker 1: get pregnant and a baby, they send you a ton 368 00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:03,639 Speaker 1: of free stuff, which I then give to all of 369 00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:07,080 Speaker 1: my other actor friends or my siblings or whatever. But 370 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:09,800 Speaker 1: I didn't need anything for my baby shower, so I 371 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,720 Speaker 1: just asked everyone to please bring their favorite children's book 372 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:17,760 Speaker 1: and it was awesome. Um. And not to say, most 373 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:19,840 Speaker 1: of your mom is out there listening, register for whatever 374 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:22,359 Speaker 1: the hell you need, because it's the opportunity, and you 375 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:24,520 Speaker 1: spend a lot of time getting other people stuff, so 376 00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:27,679 Speaker 1: make the most of it. But for me, the a 377 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:29,920 Speaker 1: great idea. I didn't need stuff. Or if your mom 378 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,400 Speaker 1: out there who's had a ton of hand me downs 379 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:33,160 Speaker 1: and you don't need stuff, I have to say, like 380 00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:36,800 Speaker 1: getting a children's book from each friend and having each 381 00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:40,000 Speaker 1: person right in that it was from them is so 382 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:43,080 Speaker 1: great because not only does my son have this awesome 383 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:46,520 Speaker 1: library right now, and people were really cool they gave 384 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:48,840 Speaker 1: books that were for all different ages. But then they 385 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:50,840 Speaker 1: also you know, they when he Albi knows now when 386 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:52,679 Speaker 1: he opens the book, like, oh, this one's from carry 387 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:54,879 Speaker 1: or this one's from aunt Tera. So we have a 388 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:58,760 Speaker 1: really good um base right now. And again we read 389 00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:01,199 Speaker 1: morning and night and my husband has really taken to it, 390 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:03,760 Speaker 1: which was great, Like he reads a lots because my 391 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:05,840 Speaker 1: husband is not a reader, but he's only two and 392 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:07,760 Speaker 1: a half. How do we keep this up? How do 393 00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:11,280 Speaker 1: my husband and I keep encouraging reading in our son? 394 00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,399 Speaker 1: All Right, I have a lot to say about this, 395 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:16,159 Speaker 1: But one thing I will say that I think might 396 00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:20,280 Speaker 1: influence your husband if he is prone to is he 397 00:20:20,359 --> 00:20:24,520 Speaker 1: if he's easily influenced by research and by data. Here 398 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:26,760 Speaker 1: are a few facts that you can arm yourself with. 399 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:31,720 Speaker 1: One is that we know that modeling reading behavior is 400 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:35,240 Speaker 1: hugely influential. If you want to raise a reader, be 401 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:39,160 Speaker 1: a reader. Your kids should see you reading for pleasure. 402 00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:41,639 Speaker 1: They should hear you talking about the books that you 403 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,240 Speaker 1: love so that books are not just seen as something 404 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:47,080 Speaker 1: for little kids, but books are something to aspire to. 405 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:50,840 Speaker 1: Books are something that adults choose to do in their 406 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:53,280 Speaker 1: spare time. That that's how you know, and when you 407 00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:55,720 Speaker 1: think about it, like at a certain point, kids look 408 00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:58,040 Speaker 1: at grown ups as like having all the rights and 409 00:20:58,119 --> 00:21:01,440 Speaker 1: privileges of the world, right when they begin to realize 410 00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:03,840 Speaker 1: that they're not the total center and that there are 411 00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:06,680 Speaker 1: other things that parents are doing without them, whether it's 412 00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:08,600 Speaker 1: like going out on a date night or drinking or 413 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:11,200 Speaker 1: whatever it might be. So you want to make sure 414 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:13,160 Speaker 1: that the things that they're looking up to, that they're 415 00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:15,880 Speaker 1: aspiring to are things that actually you would like them 416 00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:21,080 Speaker 1: to do. And specifically with boys, there is some really 417 00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:24,240 Speaker 1: interesting and kind of um, I won't say alarming, but 418 00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:27,159 Speaker 1: it is alarming. Let's go there, like I this is 419 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:28,439 Speaker 1: what I was going to bring up later, but like, 420 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:30,600 Speaker 1: we should definitely get into this now that studies seem 421 00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:33,280 Speaker 1: to indicate that there's a gender gap, with more girls 422 00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:35,560 Speaker 1: tending to read for pleasure than boys, and we see 423 00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:38,040 Speaker 1: a ripple effect and higher education, which me is my 424 00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:42,119 Speaker 1: warrior self scares the crap enemy, um and I and 425 00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:44,320 Speaker 1: I know that to be true, I only had one brother. 426 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,479 Speaker 1: But my brother shore as hell wasn't a reader, and 427 00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:49,600 Speaker 1: I was and I am, and my husband's not. And 428 00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:52,359 Speaker 1: you know, so I see, I hate to say, at 429 00:21:52,359 --> 00:21:55,080 Speaker 1: the writing on the wall, um or the reading on 430 00:21:55,119 --> 00:21:58,840 Speaker 1: the wall. And so, there are actual statistics out there 431 00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:02,239 Speaker 1: that boys read less than girls, right, they do. So 432 00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:05,760 Speaker 1: boys read less frequently than girls do, They read fewer books, 433 00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:08,280 Speaker 1: they are less likely to say that reading is of 434 00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:11,520 Speaker 1: preferred activity. They're less likely to read for fun, for 435 00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:15,280 Speaker 1: pleasure over the summer, um and so. And then coupled 436 00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:18,920 Speaker 1: with that, boys tend to read or learn to how 437 00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:22,040 Speaker 1: to read, about a year behind girls. Now what's interesting 438 00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:25,400 Speaker 1: is that, just as a little side note, that's also 439 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:28,399 Speaker 1: kind of comforting if you're raising a boy, because the 440 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,479 Speaker 1: age at what your child learns to read is not 441 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:32,840 Speaker 1: a reflection of how good a reader they will become. 442 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:34,760 Speaker 1: It's kind of like tying your shoelaces. Like if you 443 00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:38,000 Speaker 1: learn to tie your shoelaces at age four versus age seven, 444 00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,320 Speaker 1: it doesn't mean you're going to be a better shoelace tier. 445 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,760 Speaker 1: You know, in your twenty one so you know, the 446 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:45,000 Speaker 1: age at which you learned how to read does not 447 00:22:45,119 --> 00:22:48,080 Speaker 1: affect your performance later in life. If that were true, 448 00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:50,600 Speaker 1: like women would be ruling the whole world, because you know, 449 00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:53,119 Speaker 1: we all learned how to read before the way earlier, 450 00:22:53,359 --> 00:22:57,960 Speaker 1: way earlier. In general their exceptions. Um. That said, we 451 00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:00,120 Speaker 1: do know that boys read less, we do know they 452 00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:03,359 Speaker 1: enjoy it less. And here to statistics where parents are 453 00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:06,439 Speaker 1: a little bit responsible. One is that both girls and 454 00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:09,919 Speaker 1: boys say they see their fathers reading less frequently than 455 00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:14,040 Speaker 1: they see their mother's reading. So boys early on kind 456 00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:17,040 Speaker 1: of get the idea of like, oh, like girl books, 457 00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:19,359 Speaker 1: maybe those are for girls. You know, that's for women. 458 00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:22,679 Speaker 1: That's not like a man thing, that's not, uh, you know, 459 00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:25,639 Speaker 1: a guy thing to do. Um. And then interestingly, not 460 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:29,440 Speaker 1: to lay all the blame on the fathers. Both women 461 00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:34,000 Speaker 1: and men. Both mothers and fathers read aloud less often 462 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:37,679 Speaker 1: to their sons than they do to their daughters. And 463 00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:41,080 Speaker 1: there yes, but there's some interesting reasons why that might be. 464 00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:43,480 Speaker 1: One is, and now you have a boy who I 465 00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:48,800 Speaker 1: assume aged three superactive. Sometimes when you're reading to him, 466 00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:52,159 Speaker 1: he might not be cuddling up on your lap, snuggling 467 00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:54,520 Speaker 1: his lov e and like holding onto your arm in 468 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:56,919 Speaker 1: the way that you might have like imagined, you know, 469 00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:00,560 Speaker 1: bedtime reading might be. He might instead be crawling off 470 00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:05,960 Speaker 1: your lap, wandering around the room, throwing the teddy Bear. 471 00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:09,159 Speaker 1: It's that's right. And you know, boys are just generally 472 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:11,399 Speaker 1: more active. They can be more kinetic readers, and there 473 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:13,680 Speaker 1: are things that you can do. You can get them 474 00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:17,080 Speaker 1: books that are more suited to boys. So boys like 475 00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:19,680 Speaker 1: interactive books, they might like pop up books. They might 476 00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:21,919 Speaker 1: like books that they can you know, that have lots 477 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:24,760 Speaker 1: of flaps. The other thing is, and this becomes even 478 00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:28,400 Speaker 1: more important as boys get older, is that not every 479 00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:31,520 Speaker 1: boy wants to sit down and read Pride and Prejudice. Like. 480 00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:34,320 Speaker 1: They don't necessarily want to read a long novel. They 481 00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:38,000 Speaker 1: don't necessarily want to read a block of gray text. 482 00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:41,000 Speaker 1: They might be a fact seeker. They might want to 483 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,280 Speaker 1: sit down. I mean, one of my kids who is 484 00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:48,119 Speaker 1: now ten, we'll sit down with the science encyclopedia and 485 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:51,400 Speaker 1: he will read it. Now, I there's nothing I would 486 00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:54,600 Speaker 1: want to read less than a encyclopedia like it. Would 487 00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:56,199 Speaker 1: never sit down and be like, I think I'm going 488 00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:58,880 Speaker 1: to read the encyclopedia. Um, he will read a book 489 00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:01,800 Speaker 1: about the periodic tabe Like that to me is that's 490 00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:03,440 Speaker 1: not what I think of as like reading a book, 491 00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:05,960 Speaker 1: but it is to him. So and a lot of 492 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:10,280 Speaker 1: other boys also are more visually oriented, so they might 493 00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:12,719 Speaker 1: like graphic novels, they might be drawn to comics, and 494 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:16,280 Speaker 1: those are really great ways to get boys enthusiastic about 495 00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:20,920 Speaker 1: reading comics. Hello, mean occur to me because I mean 496 00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:24,080 Speaker 1: not in my wheelhouse, you know, I don't even think 497 00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:27,880 Speaker 1: about it. No, I mean, you know, comics are great. 498 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:30,240 Speaker 1: They're great, And it doesn't mean that your child is 499 00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:32,840 Speaker 1: never going to read serious books like I read tons 500 00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:36,439 Speaker 1: of Archie comics, peanuts, you know, Calvin and Hobbes, like 501 00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:39,400 Speaker 1: all of those are great ways for boys to get 502 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:42,439 Speaker 1: pleasure out of reading, even things like books of sports 503 00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:45,560 Speaker 1: statistics or joke books, like all of that is reading 504 00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:48,600 Speaker 1: and it's really important. Again, that's going back to letting 505 00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,639 Speaker 1: your child take the lead, not to judge as a parent, 506 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:53,640 Speaker 1: not to be like that's not a real book. That's 507 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:57,840 Speaker 1: not prejudice or you know again, like if they're rereading, 508 00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:00,800 Speaker 1: kids as they get older, will send time reread the 509 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:04,520 Speaker 1: same book like twenty times. That's because it's become a 510 00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:07,040 Speaker 1: source of comfort for them, right, Like the characters in 511 00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:10,480 Speaker 1: the book might be people they sort of consider their friends, 512 00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:13,520 Speaker 1: characters they like to hang around with. Like there's a 513 00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:17,720 Speaker 1: reason so many people reread Harry Potter. It's because who 514 00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:21,239 Speaker 1: wouldn't rather be at Hogwarts sometimes in their real world? Right, 515 00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:24,639 Speaker 1: that's a fun place to be. So kids also want 516 00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:27,119 Speaker 1: to revisit that world. So I would say, like not 517 00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:29,879 Speaker 1: to judge the kind of book your kid is reading, 518 00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:32,919 Speaker 1: how often they're reading it, like just to sort of 519 00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:35,720 Speaker 1: sit back and remember, my kid is choosing to read. 520 00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:39,399 Speaker 1: My kid is getting pleasure from it, and so I 521 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:42,840 Speaker 1: really need to back off because and here again goes 522 00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:45,760 Speaker 1: to especially when Albi gets a little bit older, he 523 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,639 Speaker 1: has a lot of other choices and he's going to 524 00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:49,880 Speaker 1: have many, many more of what to do. He can 525 00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:53,520 Speaker 1: go on Hulu, he can play Minecraft, he can play 526 00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:57,640 Speaker 1: um Fortnite, he can text his friends. I know it's 527 00:26:57,640 --> 00:26:59,960 Speaker 1: all gonna happen, and he'll be on TikTok. They'll be 528 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:03,040 Speaker 1: like ten other new websites, they'll be World of Warcraft. 529 00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:05,600 Speaker 1: Like he can do all of those things if he 530 00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:08,520 Speaker 1: is picking up a book and it's a book about like, 531 00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:11,960 Speaker 1: you know, the ten worst murderers of all times, Like 532 00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:14,480 Speaker 1: be happy he's picking up a book le can read that, 533 00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:20,199 Speaker 1: Let him enjoy that. Um So at this age that 534 00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:23,639 Speaker 1: we're that, I'm that my child will at some point 535 00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:26,200 Speaker 1: be it. When they have all of these other options 536 00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:30,359 Speaker 1: and they're now reluctant to read it all, how do 537 00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:33,160 Speaker 1: we reel them in? Is it just the worst parenting 538 00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:37,639 Speaker 1: in the world to incentivize them or reward them or something, 539 00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:40,800 Speaker 1: or because now reading has become a big part of school, right, 540 00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:44,800 Speaker 1: so like now we probably associate reading with our English 541 00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:48,080 Speaker 1: class or whatever. I can remember my cousins like when 542 00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:50,119 Speaker 1: we would be on our summer family camping trip, they 543 00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:53,480 Speaker 1: would have their summer reading assignment, you know, and they 544 00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:56,359 Speaker 1: would be hemming and hawing and hating it and just 545 00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:58,480 Speaker 1: complaining and the book is so dumb and they don't 546 00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:00,840 Speaker 1: want to do it and blah blah, law Like, how 547 00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:04,600 Speaker 1: what do you do? All right? So this is going 548 00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:08,320 Speaker 1: to sound totally counterintuitive because as a parent, you're really 549 00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:13,520 Speaker 1: used to incentivizing your kid with rewards and negative consequences 550 00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:15,440 Speaker 1: when they do something bad, Like you want your kids 551 00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:17,879 Speaker 1: to eat peas. You're like, oh my gosh, the peas 552 00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:22,280 Speaker 1: are so yummy. Here, just eat this one. Spoonful of peas, 553 00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,120 Speaker 1: and then you can have carrots, and then you can 554 00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:27,040 Speaker 1: you know whatever, This next sweet thing is um And 555 00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:30,199 Speaker 1: so we're used to a system of like positive and 556 00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:34,840 Speaker 1: negative consequences, but you really have to put a hold 557 00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:37,920 Speaker 1: on that when it comes to reading, because you don't 558 00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:41,040 Speaker 1: want your kid to read in order to get something. 559 00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:45,640 Speaker 1: You want your kid to read because the reading is 560 00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:48,040 Speaker 1: the reward. Reading a book doesn't mean you get an 561 00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:50,960 Speaker 1: extra hour if I've had time reading the book is 562 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:52,920 Speaker 1: the good thing in and of itself. You want to 563 00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:57,240 Speaker 1: build that intrinsic motivation to read, as opposed to giving 564 00:28:57,280 --> 00:28:59,880 Speaker 1: them extrinsic rewards, saying like if you read ton but 565 00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:02,240 Speaker 1: this summer, then at the end of the you know year, 566 00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:04,479 Speaker 1: you'll get your first phone or whatever it is, whatever 567 00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:06,840 Speaker 1: incentive plan you have depending on the age of your child, 568 00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:09,480 Speaker 1: or like, let's just finish, you know, just finish reading 569 00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:11,360 Speaker 1: this one book. Let's say your child is learning to read, 570 00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:13,360 Speaker 1: and then you can have like a second dessert or whatever. 571 00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:17,120 Speaker 1: Don't do it, because you're you're giving them a message 572 00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:20,600 Speaker 1: that reading is work. Reading is the hard thing. Reading 573 00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:22,600 Speaker 1: is the bad thing in order to get to the 574 00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:25,640 Speaker 1: good thing. So again, fast forward ten years from now, 575 00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:27,200 Speaker 1: when your kid's going to be able to make all 576 00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:30,280 Speaker 1: those choices on his own, He's not going to read 577 00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:32,920 Speaker 1: because reading is fun. He already knows that reading is 578 00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:36,600 Speaker 1: work and reading is something that they have to do. Right, 579 00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:41,840 Speaker 1: that makes perfect sense. Um, are there types of books 580 00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:44,880 Speaker 1: that I don't know are like especially beneficial to certain 581 00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:48,920 Speaker 1: developmental points? Like like you said, I know you had 582 00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:53,160 Speaker 1: mentioned already. Um, like I remember when it switched and 583 00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,320 Speaker 1: now he was like obsessed with the flip books and 584 00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:57,520 Speaker 1: you know, like hide and seek books where you open 585 00:29:57,600 --> 00:29:59,719 Speaker 1: up stuff and flaps and things are in there. But 586 00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:04,080 Speaker 1: are there developmental books that we should be putting in 587 00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:06,360 Speaker 1: front of our kids or again, just really sitting back 588 00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:08,680 Speaker 1: and offering a bunch of different stuff and just see 589 00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:11,000 Speaker 1: whatever they want to take the lead on. It's the latter, 590 00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:14,920 Speaker 1: I mean for sure. Remember it's interesting we forget as parents. Right, 591 00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:19,480 Speaker 1: You'll be like, my kid loves poppies, but maybe your 592 00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:22,600 Speaker 1: kid has never seen a cat, or maybe your kid 593 00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:25,080 Speaker 1: has never read a book about trucks. You know, like 594 00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:28,000 Speaker 1: they only know what they know. They don't know. If 595 00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:30,480 Speaker 1: they don't know, you're introducing all that stuff to them. 596 00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:33,480 Speaker 1: And sometimes you're introducing it for the first time through 597 00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:35,640 Speaker 1: a book. So some kids they don't need to have 598 00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:38,000 Speaker 1: been on a plane to read a book about a plane. 599 00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:41,680 Speaker 1: Like everything is new to a small child, and so 600 00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:45,920 Speaker 1: your job is to expose them to as much variety 601 00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:48,120 Speaker 1: as possible because you don't know what your kid likes 602 00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:50,560 Speaker 1: or doesn't like, and he doesn't know either. So it's 603 00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:53,640 Speaker 1: really exciting, I think to see like what your child 604 00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:56,760 Speaker 1: ends up gravitating towards because you just you find out 605 00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:59,200 Speaker 1: more about your child, You find out things that you 606 00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:01,800 Speaker 1: didn't know, and because kids are so changeable and you 607 00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:05,600 Speaker 1: know this too, three months later it'll be something else. Yeah. 608 00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:09,040 Speaker 1: It's like my husband and I never in a million 609 00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:12,320 Speaker 1: we've been to other thirteen years, I've never said the 610 00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:19,720 Speaker 1: word excavator, back ho eighteen wheeler, cement mixer. I mean, 611 00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:25,200 Speaker 1: every single type of dang truck exists. And like that's 612 00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:27,360 Speaker 1: just because all we do is read about trucks, you know, 613 00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:30,520 Speaker 1: and it's like that's what he wants right now. Um, 614 00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:33,720 Speaker 1: but two actors reading about trucks, Adam and I sometimes 615 00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:36,000 Speaker 1: look at each other. We're like this is crazy, like this, 616 00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:38,160 Speaker 1: you know, we're we we love like oh, we have 617 00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:41,440 Speaker 1: all those baby Shakespeare books like oh, the baby version 618 00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:44,720 Speaker 1: of Romeo and Juliet, or like the baby version of Symboline, 619 00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:47,640 Speaker 1: and maybe he doesn't want that. He wants you know, 620 00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:50,200 Speaker 1: good Night, Gunite construction site or whatever, which is a 621 00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:52,440 Speaker 1: great book. It's a great book. And you know an 622 00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:54,880 Speaker 1: interesting fun fact about that book. That was that author's 623 00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:57,840 Speaker 1: first book and it was found off the slush pile um, 624 00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,840 Speaker 1: which I feel like is like the after our equivalent 625 00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:04,400 Speaker 1: of you know, being discovered, you know, while you're working 626 00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:07,200 Speaker 1: right at them all or you know, working at McDonald's, 627 00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,920 Speaker 1: like it just so happens, you know, so rarely. Um. 628 00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:12,760 Speaker 1: And that's how that book came to be. And it's fascinating. 629 00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:15,200 Speaker 1: You know. I had all these ideas of what my 630 00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:17,120 Speaker 1: kids would be interested in. Like I thought that my 631 00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:18,840 Speaker 1: daughter would be, you know, the kind of girl who 632 00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:21,840 Speaker 1: would like to read about like nature and would be 633 00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:24,200 Speaker 1: chasing frogs like she did not want to do that. 634 00:32:24,240 --> 00:32:26,840 Speaker 1: And I couldn't blame her, because I wasn't that girl either, 635 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:28,719 Speaker 1: you know, out there in the mud with the bugs. 636 00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:31,480 Speaker 1: Like she was not interested. My boys and my daughter, 637 00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:34,160 Speaker 1: none of them could have cared less about dinosaurs. I 638 00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:38,400 Speaker 1: brought home tons of books about dinosaurs because my first 639 00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:40,479 Speaker 1: job at the New York Times was as the children's 640 00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:43,760 Speaker 1: books editor, So I got all these books, um and 641 00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:48,720 Speaker 1: never they never could care less about dinosaurs, like, none 642 00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:52,680 Speaker 1: of them. But then some kids are completely obsessed, obsessed, obsessed, 643 00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:56,000 Speaker 1: So it's it is kind of fascinating, um to see 644 00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,800 Speaker 1: what your what your kids end up being interested in. 645 00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:00,760 Speaker 1: In terms of like the level and all of that. 646 00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:03,560 Speaker 1: It goes back to my point of you're not there 647 00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:06,040 Speaker 1: to teach your child how to read, so you don't 648 00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:08,320 Speaker 1: need to worry too much about, you know, is this 649 00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:10,640 Speaker 1: the right level. The thing at your child's age to 650 00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:13,760 Speaker 1: think about is are they engaged with the story? Do 651 00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:16,240 Speaker 1: they feel you know, you can you can gauge their 652 00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:19,320 Speaker 1: attention and their interests when while you're reading to them, 653 00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:22,400 Speaker 1: or is this too many words per page? Are they 654 00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:25,000 Speaker 1: wanting to, you know, turn the page to get ahead. 655 00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:29,240 Speaker 1: When your child is three, they are actually reading the book, 656 00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:32,040 Speaker 1: but what they're reading is the pictures while you're reading 657 00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:35,560 Speaker 1: the words, and so as you're reading to them, they 658 00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:37,640 Speaker 1: will be looking at the pictures and there's often a 659 00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:40,719 Speaker 1: different story embedded in those pictures. Right. Sometimes your kid 660 00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:42,480 Speaker 1: will laugh and you'll be like, there was nothing funny 661 00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:44,760 Speaker 1: in what I said, But they're laughing at some other 662 00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:48,000 Speaker 1: little substrand of the story that's going on on the 663 00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:51,880 Speaker 1: page in the pictures. And so you can gauge again 664 00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:54,760 Speaker 1: if your child is sort of not looking at the 665 00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:58,120 Speaker 1: book is wanting to close it, it's really funny too. 666 00:33:58,160 --> 00:33:59,680 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure you saw this one. Albie was 667 00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:02,160 Speaker 1: even you know, younger than he is now. The kids 668 00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:04,960 Speaker 1: will just shut the book. Oh, he does that all 669 00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:07,320 Speaker 1: the time. If I try to pick like, hey, can 670 00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:09,239 Speaker 1: mommy pick a new book off the shelf, you know, 671 00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:11,640 Speaker 1: which is like me dying a slow death that I've 672 00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:14,319 Speaker 1: read the same fifteen books every morning and night for 673 00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:16,799 Speaker 1: the past week. And I go to get a new book, 674 00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:19,799 Speaker 1: and if it's it's funny because if it is what 675 00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:22,160 Speaker 1: I would deem like more advanced, there's too many words 676 00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:24,799 Speaker 1: on the page. He's not having it, like he's just like, 677 00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:27,840 Speaker 1: you know, he shuts it. He's just not he's like, 678 00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:30,040 Speaker 1: you know, he or he doesn't like the pictures or 679 00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:34,280 Speaker 1: for whatever reason I don't know. Um, yeah, he decides um. 680 00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:36,840 Speaker 1: And then I find it interesting when he goes back 681 00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:41,680 Speaker 1: to books that he liked when he was really really little, like, um, 682 00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:45,160 Speaker 1: oh god, what is that path of Funny and Paul 683 00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:47,960 Speaker 1: Paul and Judy like Path the Bunny. Now you scratch 684 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:52,120 Speaker 1: your dad's scratchy like sometimes he'll request like books from 685 00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:55,480 Speaker 1: when he was very little, or The Very Hungry Caterpillar, 686 00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:57,279 Speaker 1: you know, which he was super into at one, but 687 00:34:57,320 --> 00:34:58,960 Speaker 1: he hasn't really looked at in two years, like we're 688 00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:03,360 Speaker 1: back on that. You know, that is that is totally appropriate, 689 00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:06,440 Speaker 1: and that is great. That's great because it's funny, Like 690 00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:08,680 Speaker 1: kids are capable of kind of nostalgia and wanting that 691 00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:12,479 Speaker 1: comfort from a very young age, and sometimes it feels 692 00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:15,000 Speaker 1: new to them, and sometimes it feels familiar, or sometimes 693 00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:17,640 Speaker 1: they're seeing something different in it. You know, books like 694 00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:20,360 Speaker 1: The Very Hungry Caterpillar when they were really little and 695 00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:22,520 Speaker 1: they seemed really into it and they were taking their 696 00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:24,680 Speaker 1: little fingers and poking it through the teeny coles in 697 00:35:24,719 --> 00:35:26,960 Speaker 1: the page. That may have been what they loved so 698 00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:29,279 Speaker 1: much about that book then, but what they might love 699 00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:31,680 Speaker 1: about it a year later is the words. You know, 700 00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:33,600 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, he's what he's into about it now is 701 00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:38,240 Speaker 1: that it says chocolate cake and cup cupcake and lollipop 702 00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:40,440 Speaker 1: Like he's into it. He's like, oh, this is a 703 00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:43,040 Speaker 1: book that there are treats in it, right, right? And 704 00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:44,640 Speaker 1: when you read it to him when he was like 705 00:35:44,719 --> 00:35:47,040 Speaker 1: fourteen months old, he just like putting his fingers and 706 00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:59,040 Speaker 1: exactly didn't know what a lollipop was. Exactly. What do 707 00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:01,879 Speaker 1: you think, parent? I'm not there yet, but I'm sure 708 00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:06,799 Speaker 1: it will come. The stress about when their kids have 709 00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:09,120 Speaker 1: to learn to read and are they reading yet, and 710 00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:12,719 Speaker 1: if it's challenging or they're supposed to be at a 711 00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:16,759 Speaker 1: certain place at school, Like I just feel like, ah, 712 00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:20,120 Speaker 1: that must just be very stressful. Yes, you will get 713 00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:22,000 Speaker 1: that stress. It will come, But I hope that I 714 00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:26,280 Speaker 1: can provide um some comfort because, as I said earlier, 715 00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:28,600 Speaker 1: it truly does not matter the age at which your 716 00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:32,239 Speaker 1: child learns to read. There are there are studies that 717 00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:34,680 Speaker 1: show that the age at with your child begins to 718 00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:38,520 Speaker 1: read has no bearing on how good a reader they become, 719 00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:43,160 Speaker 1: how voracious a reader they become, how enthusiastic or sophisticated 720 00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:46,080 Speaker 1: a reader they become. Their other things that do have 721 00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:48,359 Speaker 1: an impact on it, The agent which you start reading 722 00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:51,359 Speaker 1: does not. And in fact, you know, it's like any 723 00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:54,360 Speaker 1: other milestone. We all know. We go to the pediatrician, 724 00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:56,640 Speaker 1: we read the parenting books. You see the milestones. There's 725 00:36:56,640 --> 00:37:00,440 Speaker 1: always a range, right, And sometimes you know, you'll look 726 00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:02,200 Speaker 1: at like another kid and you'll be like, wow, like 727 00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:06,040 Speaker 1: my kid can totally do a forward summersault and that 728 00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:08,640 Speaker 1: kid can't, So my kid is ahead. And then you'll 729 00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:10,719 Speaker 1: see that kid like get up and use an extremely 730 00:37:10,719 --> 00:37:13,640 Speaker 1: sophisticated sentence with like three adverbs with their parents and 731 00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:17,600 Speaker 1: be like, oh, is doing this other thing that my 732 00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:21,720 Speaker 1: kid maybe isn't. Like kids developed different things at different times, 733 00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:25,960 Speaker 1: and it really does not have any like long term implication. 734 00:37:26,719 --> 00:37:30,839 Speaker 1: And with reading, it's a complicated process. It's decoding, it's 735 00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:34,560 Speaker 1: word recognition, it's like finiamic awareness. There are all these 736 00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:37,040 Speaker 1: different things that happen in the brain, and not all 737 00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:41,480 Speaker 1: kids are developed mentally. Their brains aren't developed necessarily at this, 738 00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:43,600 Speaker 1: you know, at the same time to be able to 739 00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:45,400 Speaker 1: do that. And that's one of the reasons why boys 740 00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:49,080 Speaker 1: read later. Their brains aren't there yet. In Europe, in 741 00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:52,120 Speaker 1: Scandinavia and I was going to base up. I've read 742 00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:54,560 Speaker 1: about this, keep going. I love it. I'm fascinated. Yeah, 743 00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:56,799 Speaker 1: they don't even start to teach kids how to read 744 00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:59,920 Speaker 1: until there's seven, eight or nine years old. And what's 745 00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:03,960 Speaker 1: smart about that is that if you're child is pushed 746 00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:06,359 Speaker 1: to read at too young an age, and then they're 747 00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:08,200 Speaker 1: gonna hate it. They're gonna hate it because they're going 748 00:38:08,239 --> 00:38:11,040 Speaker 1: to be frustrated and they're going to self label themselves 749 00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:13,839 Speaker 1: as bad readers, and they're gonna label books is something 750 00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:16,640 Speaker 1: that's hard and that makes them feel bad about themselves 751 00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:20,160 Speaker 1: because every kid who's in like group D on the 752 00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:24,040 Speaker 1: leveled Readers knows that the other kids are in group N, 753 00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:26,759 Speaker 1: and then automatically they're just gonna start thinking, well, books 754 00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:28,680 Speaker 1: aren't my thing. I'm not a good reader, I'm no 755 00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:31,040 Speaker 1: good at that. I'm going to do this instead, maybe 756 00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:33,400 Speaker 1: I'm a math person or maybe i'm you know, a 757 00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:36,560 Speaker 1: sports person or whatever it is. So the kids become 758 00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:39,400 Speaker 1: frustrated if they learn to read or they're forced to 759 00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:42,120 Speaker 1: read at too young an age. And what happens too 760 00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:45,239 Speaker 1: is interesting. When kids do start to read, for the 761 00:38:45,239 --> 00:38:50,759 Speaker 1: most part around age six, they are reading stories that 762 00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:55,640 Speaker 1: go like this, the cat sat on the map. Now, 763 00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:58,160 Speaker 1: if you know any six year olds, you know that 764 00:38:58,239 --> 00:39:01,360 Speaker 1: many six year olds are able to listen to the 765 00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:04,080 Speaker 1: first book of Harry Potter and totally enjoy it. They're 766 00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:07,680 Speaker 1: ready for more sophisticated stories than the cat sat on 767 00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:10,600 Speaker 1: the mat. So the book they're reading is incredibly boring. 768 00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:13,160 Speaker 1: So one thing to do when your kid is that 769 00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:15,600 Speaker 1: age is to remember, Okay, what they're being forced to 770 00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:18,799 Speaker 1: read on their own super boring. You don't want them 771 00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:21,080 Speaker 1: to think that reading is all bad, So you want 772 00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:22,920 Speaker 1: to remember as a parent what you can do as 773 00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:25,480 Speaker 1: opposed to sort of sitting over them and making them 774 00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:28,000 Speaker 1: sounded out and do all of that kind of quote 775 00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:31,839 Speaker 1: unquote helping. Remember that's the teacher's job, hand that over 776 00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:34,319 Speaker 1: to them. That's what they're doing in school. What you 777 00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:37,520 Speaker 1: do is you continue to read them wonderful picture books 778 00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:41,840 Speaker 1: with stories they like, with beautiful illustration. And remember picture 779 00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:44,880 Speaker 1: books are written for adults to read, so the words 780 00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:48,439 Speaker 1: are much more sophisticated. They are, you know, the their 781 00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:50,920 Speaker 1: books that that six year old could never read by themselves. 782 00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:53,600 Speaker 1: Keep reading to them. You don't want to send the 783 00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:56,000 Speaker 1: message to them that now that you're reading on your own, 784 00:39:56,680 --> 00:39:59,120 Speaker 1: that's all you get, you know, bedtime reading with mommy, 785 00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:01,560 Speaker 1: or day on them. Matt and and you're in group 786 00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:04,400 Speaker 1: and like good luck in you don't want to like 787 00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:08,240 Speaker 1: pull out from under them something that they love for years, 788 00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:10,480 Speaker 1: which was like bedtime reading with mommy or Sunday morning 789 00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:12,279 Speaker 1: reading in bed or whatever it is that you did. 790 00:40:12,719 --> 00:40:14,840 Speaker 1: So you don't want to take away something and punish 791 00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:17,319 Speaker 1: them for learning to read. And then also, maybe you're 792 00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:19,239 Speaker 1: reading to them a book at night that's a chapter book. 793 00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:22,000 Speaker 1: Maybe you're reading The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate, 794 00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:24,359 Speaker 1: or you're reading the Betsy Tasty books, or a Little 795 00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:26,839 Speaker 1: House in the Prairie or Harry Potter or whatever it is. 796 00:40:27,440 --> 00:40:29,840 Speaker 1: They can still absorb that story while you're reading it, 797 00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:31,279 Speaker 1: So you want to make sure that they're getting the 798 00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:35,160 Speaker 1: full range of books so they know while they're why 799 00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:38,239 Speaker 1: they're doing that really boring and difficult. The cats out 800 00:40:38,239 --> 00:40:42,040 Speaker 1: on the mat work. M this is this is such. 801 00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:45,920 Speaker 1: You are just rocking my whole planet right now. And 802 00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:48,040 Speaker 1: I can't wait for this podcast to be cut together. 803 00:40:48,080 --> 00:40:51,040 Speaker 1: And I give my husband like the ones where I'm 804 00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:54,640 Speaker 1: like this one. You have to listen to this, he 805 00:40:54,640 --> 00:40:58,759 Speaker 1: has to listen to just quickly. Um, before we wrap up, 806 00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:00,640 Speaker 1: I want to switch gears a little bit and talk 807 00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:02,960 Speaker 1: about another article you wrote that really spoke to me 808 00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:07,120 Speaker 1: about letting children get bored again. Can we I want 809 00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:08,600 Speaker 1: to talk a little bit about that, because I think 810 00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:12,440 Speaker 1: this is I think this is an amazing reminder in general, 811 00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:16,120 Speaker 1: but also during this time that we are in quarantine 812 00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:18,600 Speaker 1: and where a lot of us are being asked to 813 00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:23,120 Speaker 1: step back and stay indoors with our kids. Um And 814 00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:27,520 Speaker 1: you know, as an artist, you know, imagination was a 815 00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:33,400 Speaker 1: huge part of my childhood. And I feel the helicopter 816 00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:36,640 Speaker 1: parent thing that your parents generation did not partake in, 817 00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:42,480 Speaker 1: but mind certainly did. And I feel that with all 818 00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:44,880 Speaker 1: the over scheduling and all this stuff that we're constantly 819 00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:46,840 Speaker 1: bringing our child and again I saw it with a 820 00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:48,560 Speaker 1: lot of the kids I baby set for It's like 821 00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:50,640 Speaker 1: you picked them up from school, they have a play date, 822 00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:53,640 Speaker 1: that they have an activity. It's like unbelievable amounts of 823 00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:57,600 Speaker 1: shipped to do. And I just feel like my most 824 00:41:57,600 --> 00:42:00,280 Speaker 1: of my memories from my childhood was being really board 825 00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:02,440 Speaker 1: and not being allowed to watch TV, but then being 826 00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:05,439 Speaker 1: able to turn my like bird bath in the front 827 00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:07,880 Speaker 1: yard into like a witch's cauldron, and all of a sudden, 828 00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:09,719 Speaker 1: I'm getting dressed up in all of this stuff. Where 829 00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:12,640 Speaker 1: I had a chalkboard downstairs, which was like endless amounts 830 00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:15,279 Speaker 1: of hours of playing teacher and all of these things. 831 00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:18,959 Speaker 1: And I feel like boredom is a really important thing 832 00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:23,839 Speaker 1: um and also very beneficial to parents because sometimes I'm 833 00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:26,719 Speaker 1: just like just go play, like like I don't I 834 00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:28,920 Speaker 1: don't have to put out, you know, right now in quarantine, 835 00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:31,400 Speaker 1: all I see on Instagram is eight thousand activities. I'm 836 00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:33,560 Speaker 1: supposed to be cutting and gluing for my child, and 837 00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:36,440 Speaker 1: I just don't have the energy to do it. So 838 00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:39,960 Speaker 1: talk to me about boredom. Boredom is not only a 839 00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:42,759 Speaker 1: normal part of life, like no matter what age you are, 840 00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:47,239 Speaker 1: but it is a necessity. It has benefits, and it's 841 00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:50,439 Speaker 1: something that we all have to learn how to make 842 00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:53,520 Speaker 1: use of. And I think that anyone, when you really 843 00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:56,399 Speaker 1: think about it, you realize why this is even though 844 00:42:56,880 --> 00:43:00,480 Speaker 1: the impetus for most parents is to when you see 845 00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:02,680 Speaker 1: a child who's not occupied, is to kind of maximize 846 00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:04,960 Speaker 1: the moment, like, oh we should do an art project 847 00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:07,120 Speaker 1: or like what you know, what are you up to? 848 00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:10,680 Speaker 1: What are you thinking trying to somehow get your child 849 00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:13,200 Speaker 1: kind of optimize that moment or you know, maybe they're 850 00:43:13,239 --> 00:43:17,520 Speaker 1: under stimulated, when in fact, when kids are bored, right, 851 00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:20,960 Speaker 1: that's when they have to figure it out for themselves. 852 00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:25,120 Speaker 1: That's how kids become resourceful, That's how they become, as 853 00:43:25,160 --> 00:43:29,680 Speaker 1: you said earlier, imaginative, like that's where make believe comes from. 854 00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:32,600 Speaker 1: When I was growing up, one of the most often 855 00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:37,239 Speaker 1: spoken phrases from my mother was if I said I 856 00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:41,160 Speaker 1: was bored, to would say then go outside. Now, for me, 857 00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:43,920 Speaker 1: that was like the most punitive things she could have said, 858 00:43:44,239 --> 00:43:47,799 Speaker 1: because I was not an outdoorsy, sporty girl. So if 859 00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:51,480 Speaker 1: the punishment, if the alternative was going outside, and then 860 00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:53,560 Speaker 1: I really had to figure out something else to do. 861 00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:55,960 Speaker 1: And this actually ties to what we were talking about earlier, 862 00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:58,400 Speaker 1: which is reading. My solution was to go and to read, 863 00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:02,400 Speaker 1: or to write stories, or to draw very bad, un artistic, 864 00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:06,719 Speaker 1: untalented pictures. But I was at least doing it. Um, 865 00:44:06,760 --> 00:44:08,880 Speaker 1: you had to kind of make do. When I was 866 00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:10,799 Speaker 1: growing up, we had this room in my house called 867 00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:13,280 Speaker 1: the sun Room, um, which I think was just because 868 00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:15,160 Speaker 1: it was I think you know, had been like a 869 00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:18,440 Speaker 1: terrorist that was windowed in at some point and into it. 870 00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:22,440 Speaker 1: My sharans through like broken pieces of furniture, you know, 871 00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:26,040 Speaker 1: old appliances, just like random bits of crap from around 872 00:44:26,040 --> 00:44:29,239 Speaker 1: the house, like in complete sets, and my brothers and 873 00:44:29,239 --> 00:44:31,320 Speaker 1: I would go in there and we would just make things. 874 00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:34,760 Speaker 1: Now what we did not always safe, Like I remember 875 00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:37,439 Speaker 1: we used to play a game called jump the Roof 876 00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:40,760 Speaker 1: where we would pile everything up into like as tall 877 00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:43,200 Speaker 1: a pile as we could and sometimes put the cat in, 878 00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:45,279 Speaker 1: you know, at the very bottom, and then we would 879 00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:48,520 Speaker 1: find somewhere very high and leap onto the top of 880 00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:50,719 Speaker 1: the pile of broken stuff and you know, fall to 881 00:44:50,760 --> 00:44:54,080 Speaker 1: the ground. So but that's what kids did back before 882 00:44:54,280 --> 00:44:58,360 Speaker 1: they sort of had, you know, something often a device 883 00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:01,719 Speaker 1: at the ready that could instantly entertained them. You know, 884 00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:04,000 Speaker 1: you just kind of did what you had to do. 885 00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:07,800 Speaker 1: And when you read. I love reading memoirs as an adult, UM, 886 00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:09,560 Speaker 1: and I loved reading them as a child to to 887 00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:11,960 Speaker 1: read biographies to kind of for me, they were like 888 00:45:12,040 --> 00:45:14,120 Speaker 1: life lessons, like this is how it's done, you know, 889 00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:17,480 Speaker 1: like you want to become you know, Dolly Madison that 890 00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:19,320 Speaker 1: was all that was available for girls back then, or 891 00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:22,279 Speaker 1: helling Color or you know one of these. That's what 892 00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:26,359 Speaker 1: you're Florence Nightingale. Um. You follow these steps and that's 893 00:45:26,360 --> 00:45:28,840 Speaker 1: how I read them. But I often like reading memoirs 894 00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:32,120 Speaker 1: of an earlier age because you realize, like it was boring, 895 00:45:32,680 --> 00:45:35,200 Speaker 1: Oh is it boring? Like you read books about like 896 00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:39,320 Speaker 1: people um in the early twentieth century and the nineteenth 897 00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:41,800 Speaker 1: century to go for a car ride, like in a 898 00:45:41,960 --> 00:45:45,359 Speaker 1: bar that was governing, like god, huge, huge, fifteen miles 899 00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:47,520 Speaker 1: an hour just looking at the trees, or like you 900 00:45:47,520 --> 00:45:49,839 Speaker 1: watch those you know, movies like Room with the View, 901 00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:52,320 Speaker 1: any of the nineteenth century movies, and they're just walking 902 00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:55,719 Speaker 1: around because that was entertainment. Like people learned to play 903 00:45:55,719 --> 00:45:58,040 Speaker 1: the piano because that's what you had for music. You 904 00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:01,920 Speaker 1: didn't have Spotify, So it was like the onus becomes 905 00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:05,200 Speaker 1: on you to create the entertainment if you don't have 906 00:46:05,280 --> 00:46:08,359 Speaker 1: something from outside that's that's always stimulating you and sort 907 00:46:08,360 --> 00:46:13,320 Speaker 1: of prompting you to respond. You become the generator so important. 908 00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:17,480 Speaker 1: It's just so important. And I think, you know, I 909 00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:21,440 Speaker 1: hope that that provides moms during this time with some 910 00:46:22,760 --> 00:46:26,080 Speaker 1: you know, when we first went into quarantine about a 911 00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:29,319 Speaker 1: month ago. You know, I I generally I am not 912 00:46:29,360 --> 00:46:31,439 Speaker 1: a big TV watcher with my kid, and I really 913 00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:34,760 Speaker 1: let up on those rules. It's okay at the beginning, 914 00:46:34,760 --> 00:46:36,480 Speaker 1: which is okay, But then I have to say I've 915 00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:39,520 Speaker 1: been doing this experiment this week where I said to Adam, 916 00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:42,839 Speaker 1: you know what, let's like, let's just like let him 917 00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:46,200 Speaker 1: be bored and like in the house. Like I mean again, 918 00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:49,440 Speaker 1: I can do this right now because I didn't have 919 00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:51,720 Speaker 1: a very heavy work week. If you have a freaking 920 00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:53,799 Speaker 1: heavy work week and you're losing your mind, the kid 921 00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:55,200 Speaker 1: can watch as I don't care, you know what I mean, 922 00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:57,000 Speaker 1: Like whatever anyone has to do to survive and be 923 00:46:57,040 --> 00:46:59,080 Speaker 1: happy and feel loved is the only thing that matters. 924 00:46:59,160 --> 00:47:01,759 Speaker 1: But but this week I was like, let's just do 925 00:47:01,800 --> 00:47:04,040 Speaker 1: a few days with like him. He just isn't gonna 926 00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:06,440 Speaker 1: watch TV, and he's been really bored and it's been 927 00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:11,080 Speaker 1: so fascinating to watch what he's doing. Yeah, I mean 928 00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:13,840 Speaker 1: it's like you see you see again your child like 929 00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:16,759 Speaker 1: making the chices for himself, figuring out what it is 930 00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:22,080 Speaker 1: that he's going to do, like imaginative play that's not directed. Right, 931 00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:24,320 Speaker 1: All you need to do is provide like a few things. 932 00:47:24,480 --> 00:47:26,840 Speaker 1: I mean, one of the great things about and now 933 00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:29,160 Speaker 1: I'm going back to screens, but you know Toy Story 934 00:47:29,239 --> 00:47:31,799 Speaker 1: four where they had um, the great you know, four 935 00:47:31,880 --> 00:47:34,880 Speaker 1: key toy. Like anything can be a toy, right, anything 936 00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:36,840 Speaker 1: can be a toy. It's all in the eye of 937 00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:39,160 Speaker 1: the beholder. And so you don't even have to have 938 00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:41,640 Speaker 1: a lot of stuff around. Like kids will make something 939 00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:44,960 Speaker 1: into a toy. That's what they did before we had 940 00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:48,160 Speaker 1: lots of plastic toys to provide them. They made their 941 00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:53,040 Speaker 1: own toys, so they saw toys and things that weren't toys. Um. 942 00:47:53,080 --> 00:47:57,399 Speaker 1: Any final advice for parents, any last things You feel 943 00:47:57,400 --> 00:47:59,759 Speaker 1: like we didn't touch on or hit on or I mean, 944 00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:01,880 Speaker 1: I feel like I could talk to you for a 945 00:48:01,960 --> 00:48:05,600 Speaker 1: hundred thousand hours and this is so helpful and so informative, 946 00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:09,480 Speaker 1: and I just think you are doing such important work. Pamela, 947 00:48:09,560 --> 00:48:13,640 Speaker 1: truly thanks. Here's my parting words, which are that you know, 948 00:48:13,760 --> 00:48:15,960 Speaker 1: it goes back to that reading is the reward. Don't 949 00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:19,720 Speaker 1: reward reading, because reading is the reward. All the stress 950 00:48:19,760 --> 00:48:24,319 Speaker 1: that parents feel around raising readers, around um, you know, 951 00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:30,080 Speaker 1: raising their children to be productive, successful whatever that might 952 00:48:30,120 --> 00:48:34,839 Speaker 1: be fulfilled people. You know, we all, I think, are 953 00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:40,000 Speaker 1: motivated by truly understandable circumstances. We have a lot of 954 00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:43,520 Speaker 1: economic uncertainty. People know, it's a competitive world. It's hard 955 00:48:43,560 --> 00:48:46,279 Speaker 1: to get into a good college. Some kids just sort 956 00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:49,640 Speaker 1: of lose their motivation. So we are so eager to 957 00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:52,680 Speaker 1: kind of plant everything into our child that will lead 958 00:48:52,719 --> 00:48:56,040 Speaker 1: them towards success, whatever that might look like, that we 959 00:48:56,160 --> 00:48:58,759 Speaker 1: forget to kind of take pleasure in it, and so 960 00:48:58,880 --> 00:49:02,200 Speaker 1: specifically with because I would say, you know, this is 961 00:49:02,239 --> 00:49:06,280 Speaker 1: the fun part. This is you are introducing your children 962 00:49:06,640 --> 00:49:11,000 Speaker 1: to something great. This is not broccoli, this is chocolate cake. 963 00:49:11,520 --> 00:49:16,040 Speaker 1: You're opening up a world of like stories and imagination 964 00:49:16,480 --> 00:49:20,360 Speaker 1: and possibilities and characters. You know, when I think about 965 00:49:20,440 --> 00:49:22,880 Speaker 1: myself as a reader and what it is that I 966 00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:28,000 Speaker 1: look for in books, I look to be transported. I 967 00:49:28,120 --> 00:49:31,200 Speaker 1: look to gain access to a world that I would 968 00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:36,080 Speaker 1: otherwise never have access to, whether that's living on Mars 969 00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:41,000 Speaker 1: or being a coal miner in nineteenth century France, or 970 00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:43,799 Speaker 1: being it's always a British queen. For me, it's always 971 00:49:43,800 --> 00:49:46,000 Speaker 1: a British queen. Why not be a British queen, even 972 00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:48,279 Speaker 1: a British lady in waiting, like you know, any of 973 00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:50,120 Speaker 1: Like that's your chance. I mean, that's what you do 974 00:49:50,160 --> 00:49:53,320 Speaker 1: as an actor, right, You get to inhabit another person, 975 00:49:53,560 --> 00:49:55,680 Speaker 1: You get to be in a different world you get 976 00:49:55,719 --> 00:49:59,000 Speaker 1: to actually like it's a whole new story that's opened 977 00:49:59,280 --> 00:50:01,040 Speaker 1: to you. And so I would say to parents, like, 978 00:50:01,480 --> 00:50:05,240 Speaker 1: remember like you are, you are opening up a portal 979 00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:08,800 Speaker 1: to magic for your children. You are offering them away 980 00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:13,280 Speaker 1: to to empathize, to see the world through others eyes, 981 00:50:13,840 --> 00:50:17,279 Speaker 1: to no worlds that don't exist or that once existed 982 00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:21,720 Speaker 1: or will never exist. And so you're doing something great 983 00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:24,560 Speaker 1: for your children. And if you remember that that mission 984 00:50:24,640 --> 00:50:28,080 Speaker 1: and that sense of enthusiasm, that will come through as 985 00:50:28,080 --> 00:50:33,239 Speaker 1: opposed to you know, feelings of obligation and stress and pressure, 986 00:50:33,239 --> 00:50:35,239 Speaker 1: and like they don't need to they don't need any 987 00:50:35,320 --> 00:50:36,960 Speaker 1: of that. They're going to get that from the outside 988 00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:40,800 Speaker 1: world from you. When it comes to books, You're taking 989 00:50:40,800 --> 00:50:43,520 Speaker 1: them to Disneyland, you know, you are giving them the 990 00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:48,440 Speaker 1: magic key. This is so wonderful. Thank you so much, 991 00:50:48,520 --> 00:50:51,239 Speaker 1: Pamela for being on Katie's crib. Thank you for all 992 00:50:51,239 --> 00:50:53,839 Speaker 1: of your words of wisdom. I can't wait to jump 993 00:50:53,880 --> 00:50:59,040 Speaker 1: back into the book I'm currently reading. Uh, this is awesome. 994 00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:01,280 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for being on Katie's grip. Pamela, 995 00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:04,839 Speaker 1: it was a total pleasure. Thanks for having me. Thank 996 00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:07,520 Speaker 1: you guys so much for listening to that awesome episode 997 00:51:07,520 --> 00:51:09,640 Speaker 1: with Pamela, I learned so much and it makes me 998 00:51:09,719 --> 00:51:11,799 Speaker 1: just want to jump back in my bed and read 999 00:51:11,840 --> 00:51:14,600 Speaker 1: more of my book. And Hey, what books are you 1000 00:51:14,640 --> 00:51:17,560 Speaker 1: currently reading to your kids? Are there any huge fabes 1001 00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:19,759 Speaker 1: that I got to know about? You can tell me 1002 00:51:19,960 --> 00:51:23,000 Speaker 1: by telling us on our socials or subscribing and following 1003 00:51:23,080 --> 00:51:26,000 Speaker 1: us at Katie's Crib or email me book ideas at 1004 00:51:26,040 --> 00:51:29,840 Speaker 1: Katie's Crib at Shonda land dot com. You all are awesome. 1005 00:51:36,080 --> 00:51:38,560 Speaker 1: Katie's Crib is a production of iHeart Radio and Shonda 1006 00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:41,600 Speaker 1: Land Audio. For more podcasts from I Heart Radio, visit 1007 00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:44,520 Speaker 1: the I heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you 1008 00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:52,719 Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows. Coming Boat Want