1 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:14,960 Speaker 1: Want to hear something else stupid. You don't like someone 2 00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:16,480 Speaker 1: and you might want to set them up with someone else. 3 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:19,000 Speaker 1: What's wrong with them? Nothing's wrong with them. You're allowed 4 00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:20,640 Speaker 1: to have whatever you want, so you want toupset them 5 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:22,640 Speaker 1: up with them? So many girls like, wait, I don't 6 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:23,680 Speaker 1: want your slappy seconds? 7 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 2: Why not? 8 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:27,520 Speaker 1: I have an air mez bag here. I don't wear it, 9 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:29,520 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna use it. I'd like to give it 10 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:31,120 Speaker 1: to you. If you don't want it, I'm gonna give 11 00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:33,519 Speaker 1: it to somebody else. There's no such thing as sloppy seconds. 12 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:35,760 Speaker 1: If the person's saying the guy is a good guy, 13 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:38,640 Speaker 1: If the guy is a piece of shit, they're not 14 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:40,520 Speaker 1: gonna hand him over to you. Then they're a bad person. 15 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:42,519 Speaker 1: Then you should never speak to them again. Like, there 16 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:45,599 Speaker 1: are ways to find out that someone's not a good person. Okay, 17 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:48,960 Speaker 1: but just because someone else didn't want them, what does 18 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,840 Speaker 1: that mean? Does someone else have every piece of clothing 19 00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:53,519 Speaker 1: you have? Live in the house you live in, like 20 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:55,920 Speaker 1: the same food you like? Do someone like Cilantro? Someone 21 00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 1: else likes Basil? Are you an infant? Slappy seconds are good? 22 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:03,080 Speaker 1: Take the sloppy seconds. One woman's trash is another woman's 23 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,679 Speaker 1: twenty five year old marriage. I went out with a 24 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:08,200 Speaker 1: guy him. We had the best time. We danced, we 25 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:12,000 Speaker 1: hung out, I had the greatest time. I spent more 26 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:15,800 Speaker 1: time with him. He's not my husband. With great certainty, 27 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:18,120 Speaker 1: with ninety nine percent certainty, I think he's not my husband. 28 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:20,640 Speaker 1: And I liked him a lot, and we're texting, we're 29 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:23,319 Speaker 1: still friends. I set him up with someone else. They 30 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:26,320 Speaker 1: liked each other a lot. I don't know if their 31 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:30,000 Speaker 1: husband and wife either, but they are going out again. 32 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:31,640 Speaker 1: I'm not going out with him again. 33 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:32,280 Speaker 2: What am I gonna do? 34 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:35,720 Speaker 1: Pilimid a dumpster. He's a wonderful man and now he's 35 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:38,720 Speaker 1: going out with a wonderful girl. So I was talking 36 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:40,000 Speaker 1: to a guy who said to me that he was 37 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:41,800 Speaker 1: in a place in Miami and it seemed like everybody 38 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:43,200 Speaker 1: was either pro or semi pro. 39 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:43,840 Speaker 2: What does that mean? 40 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:46,440 Speaker 1: It means the woman who's actually in there hoping to 41 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:51,960 Speaker 1: get literal currency for sex or a hand job or whatever. 42 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 1: A semi pro is a woman who's in there running game, 43 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:02,360 Speaker 1: working the system, and immediately will probably be interviewing the 44 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:05,440 Speaker 1: man to get his net worth statement out. 45 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:06,840 Speaker 2: And that's a semi pro. 46 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,959 Speaker 1: There are also pros that don't take money, they're just pros, 47 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:11,680 Speaker 1: and that they're big game hunters. I know a lot 48 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:14,000 Speaker 1: of people who are big game hunters that will end 49 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:16,320 Speaker 1: up finding a man that's rich. That's what's important to them. 50 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:21,000 Speaker 1: And they probably are fucking either the hottest women on 51 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:24,000 Speaker 1: earth or they know what they're doing. But an amateur 52 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,680 Speaker 1: hour could be hot. And she's going to lead too 53 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:28,799 Speaker 1: quickly with the question. She's going to let a guy 54 00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:31,840 Speaker 1: know right away that she's looking for a net worth statement. 55 00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:33,040 Speaker 2: She's interviewing him. 56 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:36,200 Speaker 1: She wants to know exactly where he lives, what he drives, 57 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:37,600 Speaker 1: how he rolls. 58 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:41,760 Speaker 2: And these men are pros too. You think these. 59 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:46,040 Speaker 1: Men who are Wall Street titans who have tens of 60 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,880 Speaker 1: millions of hundreds of millions of dollars, don't know a 61 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:51,880 Speaker 1: fucking pro. You think they don't deal with Barracuda's on 62 00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:54,760 Speaker 1: Wall Street every day. You think they don't know a 63 00:02:55,240 --> 00:03:00,320 Speaker 1: like a fucking Checkers player. Gold digger, Okay, if they 64 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:04,640 Speaker 1: have they have gold digger trigger. They have such a 65 00:03:04,639 --> 00:03:06,840 Speaker 1: gold digger trigger that they'll meet someone who's not a 66 00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:09,239 Speaker 1: gold digger and they have their alert up. 67 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:11,280 Speaker 2: They will also test women. 68 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:15,480 Speaker 1: They won't buy women anything because they are testing to 69 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:17,000 Speaker 1: see if it's gonna make the woman run. 70 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:18,400 Speaker 2: They're pros too. 71 00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:24,520 Speaker 1: The men are pros too, so women don't play the 72 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:28,240 Speaker 1: short game. Okay, the men are smarter than you. The 73 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:30,360 Speaker 1: men that you're gold digging didn't get to be the 74 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:33,200 Speaker 1: men with the piles of goal by being stupid. They 75 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:36,080 Speaker 1: know how stupid you are. Now, if you are hot 76 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:39,560 Speaker 1: or like play the Jedi mind tricks or can enter 77 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:44,240 Speaker 1: them into the mind control program, they might want it anyway. 78 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:46,840 Speaker 1: Some men like a gold digger. They know what they're getting. 79 00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:49,680 Speaker 1: We're gonna hang out. You're hot, I'm gonna buy you 80 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:52,400 Speaker 1: in arimez bags and jewelry. You know, all the other 81 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:54,240 Speaker 1: women are gonna be jealous of you. They're gonna want 82 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,320 Speaker 1: me to. All the other men are gonna try to 83 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:59,320 Speaker 1: compete with my program. It's a flex fine. Just know 84 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,480 Speaker 1: what you're doing with This is what goes on. They're 85 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:04,920 Speaker 1: pros everywhere. I see them all over social media, all 86 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:09,400 Speaker 1: over the universe. They're women. They're pros because you're pros because, hey, men, 87 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:11,920 Speaker 1: some of you want to date only thirty five year olds, 88 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:14,160 Speaker 1: even though you look like a lawn ornament. Some of 89 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:16,080 Speaker 1: you men only want to date a really hot woman 90 00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:18,279 Speaker 1: because you have money, you look like a law and ornament. 91 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:22,000 Speaker 1: I'm just letting you guys know how the game is played, 92 00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:24,760 Speaker 1: fought and won. I was talking to a guy today 93 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:27,680 Speaker 1: who's tall, good looking, great body, has a lot of money. 94 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:29,960 Speaker 2: He said, he's not just looking for looks. 95 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:33,320 Speaker 1: I said, I have a girl for you who's hot 96 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,960 Speaker 1: and amazing and very similar mindset to him. 97 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,719 Speaker 2: He said, I'm not shallow. 98 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:40,919 Speaker 1: There are a lot of men who have been through 99 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,320 Speaker 1: all the pros and semi pros, and they don't want 100 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:44,800 Speaker 1: someone who's unattractive to them. 101 00:04:44,839 --> 00:04:45,960 Speaker 2: It's a superficial world. 102 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:49,080 Speaker 1: But the men who have any money and any success 103 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:52,200 Speaker 1: in any intelligence and walk upright and will call you 104 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:56,200 Speaker 1: and not text you because they're not fucking caveman gorillas. 105 00:04:57,000 --> 00:05:01,800 Speaker 1: They don't want just the dining piece. They've been through that. 106 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:05,080 Speaker 1: They don't trust that. They don't trust that. But they 107 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:07,839 Speaker 1: have gold digger trigger. Know that right away, and you 108 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:12,080 Speaker 1: say one thing, And women have their own triggers because 109 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:13,840 Speaker 1: they'll try to test the guys and see if the 110 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,240 Speaker 1: guy's gonna do something or buy something. 111 00:05:15,279 --> 00:05:16,320 Speaker 2: Women don't want to cheat man. 112 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:20,400 Speaker 1: Men be generous, make a phone call, don't just text, 113 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:25,360 Speaker 1: don't bread crumb women, don't play checkers. Because men want 114 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:28,760 Speaker 1: a smart woman who can support themselves and can pay 115 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:31,000 Speaker 1: for themselves. It doesn't mean the man's not gonna want 116 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:33,200 Speaker 1: to do that for them, but they can. I'm an 117 00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:36,400 Speaker 1: example of that. Men love that I have my own money. 118 00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:39,080 Speaker 1: That doesn't mean we're going out and I'm going Dutch 119 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:43,200 Speaker 1: by any stretch of anyone's imagination. I've bought houses and 120 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:45,160 Speaker 1: cars that the man will share. 121 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:45,840 Speaker 2: I don't mind that. 122 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:48,039 Speaker 1: But I'm not going out and paying for something in 123 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:49,560 Speaker 1: front of a man and it's not happening. I don't 124 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:50,840 Speaker 1: care what you think. I don't care if I've set 125 00:05:50,839 --> 00:05:53,520 Speaker 1: women back two hundred years. Women, in my eyes, don't 126 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:58,520 Speaker 1: pay for that like public facing, shopping, sitting down at 127 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:01,120 Speaker 1: a restaurant. But I'll buy a house, I'll buy the furniture, 128 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:02,919 Speaker 1: I'll do all those things. You just don't want to 129 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:07,159 Speaker 1: do things that are going to be overly masculating and emasculating. 130 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,840 Speaker 1: You don't want to masculate a woman, and you don't 131 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:11,680 Speaker 1: want to emasculate a man. But men are so terrified 132 00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:13,440 Speaker 1: that they'll expect a woman to pay in front of 133 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:14,880 Speaker 1: them because they have gold digger trigger. 134 00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:16,599 Speaker 2: That's your fucking problem. 135 00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:18,640 Speaker 1: Bro. I'm not a gold digger because I have more 136 00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:20,839 Speaker 1: gold than you, but I'm not paying. So if you 137 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:23,240 Speaker 1: have a problem with that, turn around and keep it moving. 138 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:30,000 Speaker 1: Be transparent about what we want and what we're doing. Okay, 139 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:34,200 Speaker 1: let's do some dating questions. When should you have sex? 140 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:34,920 Speaker 2: Okay? 141 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:39,400 Speaker 1: I find this one to be so interesting and I've 142 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:42,800 Speaker 1: been through it and I think about. 143 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:45,480 Speaker 2: It at my age, at how my. 144 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:49,719 Speaker 1: Daughter, god forbid, should handle it, thirties, forties, the whole thing, 145 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:55,239 Speaker 1: all right. So in theory, you should have sex after 146 00:06:55,400 --> 00:07:00,560 Speaker 1: multiple dates, when you feel secure and c and that 147 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:05,279 Speaker 1: you are together with this person, that they're going to 148 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:07,920 Speaker 1: text and call. You'd bet your whole life on it, 149 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:12,040 Speaker 1: okay in theory, or if you are the type of 150 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:15,040 Speaker 1: person I am not who could just sleep with someone 151 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:17,600 Speaker 1: because you need it, you need to get laid or something, 152 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:21,480 Speaker 1: and like you don't care. Those people I don't understand, 153 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:24,360 Speaker 1: but they exist and that's their body, their choice, okay. 154 00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:26,600 Speaker 2: But most people will feel a. 155 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:29,920 Speaker 1: Certain way, even if they act like they won't, think 156 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,960 Speaker 1: like they won't talk like they won't, they will feel 157 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:36,560 Speaker 1: a certain way and I'm considering sex intercourse. I'm not 158 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:40,360 Speaker 1: considering sex all of the other things people say that 159 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:42,720 Speaker 1: the other is that a blowjob is sex, that oral 160 00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:46,240 Speaker 1: sex is sex. I think sex is sex and everything else. 161 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:47,360 Speaker 2: Is for play. 162 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:49,800 Speaker 1: I think there's so many different about someone being inside 163 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:52,200 Speaker 1: of your body and one part of your body. Okay, 164 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:55,400 Speaker 1: so that's just my opinion, but I having spoken to 165 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:57,200 Speaker 1: a bunch of girls, I think they agree with that too. 166 00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:01,760 Speaker 1: We were growing up was everything. But okay, so I 167 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:04,760 Speaker 1: think you're setting yourself up for more success. 168 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,480 Speaker 2: By not doing it right away. 169 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:18,640 Speaker 1: Now, I'm setting yourself up for success, your own emotional journey, rollercoaster, pheromones, oxytocin, security, depression, 170 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:24,840 Speaker 1: anxiety levels. I'm saying that, I'm not saying wait to 171 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:27,640 Speaker 1: have sex with the guy because he won't respect you 172 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:29,520 Speaker 1: or he won't call you. We're back with the rules. 173 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:32,960 Speaker 1: I'm really not if you are feeling something with a 174 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:37,240 Speaker 1: guy or a girl. If you're feeling something with someone 175 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:41,840 Speaker 1: that you are dating or hanging out with really like 176 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:47,360 Speaker 1: so attracted to You're both had way too much to drink, 177 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,720 Speaker 1: but it's wild, fun and sexy, or you're in an 178 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:53,719 Speaker 1: environment or something wild has happened. I don't know, you 179 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:55,840 Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like you're on an island, you 180 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:57,640 Speaker 1: got wasted, you met him in a bar and it's 181 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:00,840 Speaker 1: raining out, and it's just like you're on the be whatever. 182 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:02,320 Speaker 2: Things can be different. 183 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:05,840 Speaker 1: I do not think that the reason to not have 184 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,720 Speaker 1: sex with someone is because it's on the first date 185 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:08,480 Speaker 1: or the second data. 186 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:09,600 Speaker 2: And if the guid doesn't called. 187 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:12,000 Speaker 1: If a man doesn't call you because of that, he's 188 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:14,439 Speaker 1: not a man. And people say it's because of the 189 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:17,880 Speaker 1: chase and the hunt. Okay, that's not a man. A 190 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:20,640 Speaker 1: man if they were in the moment connecting with you 191 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:23,800 Speaker 1: and it happened, sometimes it feels weird if you didn't, 192 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:25,880 Speaker 1: because it's like you're only not doing it because you 193 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:28,000 Speaker 1: told yourself and then you seem like an immature baby 194 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:32,320 Speaker 1: that made some arbitrary rule. I would say, taking it 195 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:34,920 Speaker 1: back a notch. This is what I really need to 196 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:38,920 Speaker 1: tell women of all ages, including myself. You have to 197 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:42,520 Speaker 1: control the number of cocktails, because that's when you get 198 00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:45,280 Speaker 1: yourself into trouble, because that's when judgment goes out the window. 199 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:48,080 Speaker 1: That's when we're nervous, that's when you get dehydrated. That's 200 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:50,440 Speaker 1: when you are having the best time. That's when you're 201 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:53,400 Speaker 1: making decisions that may not serve you, because at the 202 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:56,440 Speaker 1: same time, you're going to crash and be depressed because 203 00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:59,680 Speaker 1: of alcohol and it's a depressant and exhausted and feel 204 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:02,880 Speaker 1: gross and hungover and want to eat junk food. And 205 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:05,360 Speaker 1: you also will have slept with someone and you won't 206 00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:07,760 Speaker 1: know how they're supposed to react. If you don't sleep 207 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:09,680 Speaker 1: with them and they don't call, you'll still be upset. 208 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:11,599 Speaker 1: But if for some reason you slept at them and 209 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:15,600 Speaker 1: they didn't call, like it could just mess with your levels. 210 00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:18,440 Speaker 1: So I would say you're kind of trying to protect 211 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:25,160 Speaker 1: yourself as women who are not more insecure, but who 212 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:28,440 Speaker 1: attached differently because of sex, who connect differently because of sex. 213 00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:30,480 Speaker 2: I have anxious attachment. 214 00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:33,400 Speaker 1: I have kind of worked on it and corrected it, 215 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:36,720 Speaker 1: but left to its own devices, I will get anxious 216 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:40,080 Speaker 1: if I don't hear from someone. But what happens and 217 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:42,120 Speaker 1: comes with age is that you realize you do not 218 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:46,360 Speaker 1: regret anything. By the way, you can't really and you 219 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,040 Speaker 1: shouldn't do things that you're going to regret, but you 220 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:51,120 Speaker 1: should not regret sex. And so to answer the question, 221 00:10:51,679 --> 00:10:55,680 Speaker 1: when should you have sex if you're looking for a commitment, 222 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:59,280 Speaker 1: when you are sure that this person is definitely going 223 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:02,440 Speaker 1: to call you or with you, that you feel secure 224 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:04,559 Speaker 1: that they're with you, or that you just want to 225 00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:08,720 Speaker 1: get laid, or where you can just handle it. And 226 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:10,800 Speaker 1: I don't know that many people that can. But the 227 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:13,560 Speaker 1: problem with that is that if you're so into someone, 228 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:17,280 Speaker 1: you can't always do everything that's perfect. Because anyone that 229 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:19,240 Speaker 1: I've ever slept with soon is someone I had a 230 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:23,200 Speaker 1: mad connection with mad connection. Up into my forties, I'd 231 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,160 Speaker 1: never had a one night stand. One one night stand 232 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:28,160 Speaker 1: an aspen and the guy was the most beautiful man ever, 233 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,200 Speaker 1: and he called me the next day and liked me 234 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:33,199 Speaker 1: because like, we had a connection. Another person years ago 235 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:34,880 Speaker 1: in my forties was someone I ended up in a 236 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:38,040 Speaker 1: relationship with. So like it's not a common practice, but 237 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:39,679 Speaker 1: often the guy that you don't want to sleep with 238 00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:41,560 Speaker 1: on the first or second date is the guy that 239 00:11:41,559 --> 00:11:44,360 Speaker 1: you're not that into. I'm a scorpio. It's a very 240 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:46,839 Speaker 1: sexual sign. You know, you have to control what goes 241 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:48,800 Speaker 1: on around it and wrap yourself in bubble wrap and 242 00:11:48,880 --> 00:12:04,520 Speaker 1: frame it has My timing for sex when dating changed 243 00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:07,679 Speaker 1: with age. Yes, it has as I just said, it's 244 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:10,520 Speaker 1: you're not a baby, and if someone can't handle that, 245 00:12:10,559 --> 00:12:11,960 Speaker 1: then they would not have been the right person. But 246 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:15,040 Speaker 1: whatever happens after sex is what was supposed to happen. 247 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:17,880 Speaker 1: I've never heard one person say I thought she was great, 248 00:12:18,559 --> 00:12:21,280 Speaker 1: she could have been my person, but she had sex 249 00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:23,280 Speaker 1: with me on the first date. I've never heard it. 250 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:27,040 Speaker 1: Have you ever heard it? I've never heard it. But 251 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:30,720 Speaker 1: you could do something stupid while being drunk enough to 252 00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:32,320 Speaker 1: have sex in the first date, and that could be 253 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:34,240 Speaker 1: a red flag or something that happens. I just have 254 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:37,080 Speaker 1: never heard it. How do you know the man is 255 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:40,960 Speaker 1: the one? I am probably on the planet Earth, the 256 00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:44,360 Speaker 1: worst person to ask that, the worst person. There's never 257 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:46,360 Speaker 1: been someone who has a worst picker than I do. 258 00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:49,560 Speaker 1: But because I've done so much work on it and 259 00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:53,680 Speaker 1: myself and have been nowhere near thinking someone is the 260 00:12:53,679 --> 00:12:57,440 Speaker 1: one for a long time, I would say when you 261 00:12:57,480 --> 00:13:00,559 Speaker 1: feel like you've found a partner, when you feel like 262 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:04,000 Speaker 1: you're your most authentic self, when you feel like you're 263 00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:04,600 Speaker 1: at peace. 264 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:07,640 Speaker 2: If you don't love it, you don't like it. 265 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:10,360 Speaker 1: So when you are not doubting it at all, I 266 00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:12,360 Speaker 1: always say, if you don't know, yes, it's no. So 267 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:15,280 Speaker 1: when you just know yes, if you just know yes 268 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:19,600 Speaker 1: without your body speaking to you, meaning sexual or attraction, 269 00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:22,600 Speaker 1: without like they have money or they are a doctor, 270 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:25,320 Speaker 1: or some logical thing, if you and your body know yes, 271 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:28,480 Speaker 1: I would think it's probably yes. Do I believe in 272 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:32,600 Speaker 1: taking a break in relationships. I believe in the fact 273 00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:35,600 Speaker 1: that saying you're taking a break in relationships means the 274 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:37,760 Speaker 1: relationship is over, but you don't have the courage to 275 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:39,880 Speaker 1: say it, and you need to do the methadone program. 276 00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:40,559 Speaker 2: I believe that. 277 00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:43,600 Speaker 1: I believe that any breakup that's ever gotten back together 278 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:46,839 Speaker 1: that I've experienced doesn't work. But again, there are exceptions 279 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:50,040 Speaker 1: to every rule. How to discern when to fight for 280 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:51,920 Speaker 1: something and put in the work or letting it go. 281 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:57,600 Speaker 1: Like in yoga, if you're experiencing discomfort, you work through it, 282 00:13:57,720 --> 00:13:59,880 Speaker 1: and you should feel some discomfort. And a business deal 283 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:03,040 Speaker 1: shouldn't feel comfortable all the time. There should be some discomfort, 284 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:06,840 Speaker 1: but overall you feel good. If it's discomfort, it's okay. 285 00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:09,360 Speaker 1: If it's pain, it's not okay. That's how a relationship 286 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:14,680 Speaker 1: should be. If it's discomfort, no problem. Everybody goes through phases, problems, issues. 287 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:21,880 Speaker 1: If it's actual, real like sustainable chronic unhappiness, you have 288 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:23,000 Speaker 1: to really evaluate it. 289 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:24,880 Speaker 2: When do you tell. 290 00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:26,400 Speaker 1: Them you want to be exclusive. I don't think you 291 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:29,040 Speaker 1: really need to tell someone. It'll just come. You'll be 292 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:31,360 Speaker 1: so into someone, they'll be so into you. One day 293 00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:33,680 Speaker 1: they'll tell you they love you. I don't think you 294 00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:36,560 Speaker 1: need to tell or ask. I think if you're into 295 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:39,760 Speaker 1: someone enough, there's just no having to discuss it. You 296 00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:42,840 Speaker 1: would never want to be with someone else. You have 297 00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:45,440 Speaker 1: no idea. How many men have told me about their 298 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:50,400 Speaker 1: young marriage mergers, meaning they were young kids and whoever 299 00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:52,400 Speaker 1: they married that they've been married to for like twenty 300 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:55,560 Speaker 1: five years and became like their sibling, like their best friend. 301 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:58,040 Speaker 1: You know, on both cases, like the wife feels the 302 00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:02,080 Speaker 1: same way. But this was a good fit. Either the 303 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:05,240 Speaker 1: parents were friends and they all like travel in the 304 00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:09,600 Speaker 1: same circles, or it was like a cultural fit, meaning 305 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:12,400 Speaker 1: not like an arranged marriage, but almost like an arranged marriage. 306 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:16,800 Speaker 1: Cultural fit a fitting the mold. So people that live 307 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:20,240 Speaker 1: in the same community as other families, and they're very 308 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:23,640 Speaker 1: aligned politically culturally, and so it's sort of like an 309 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:26,800 Speaker 1: arranged marriage, Like it just works. It's what you're supposed 310 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:29,720 Speaker 1: to do. It's that the parents want. It's not forced, 311 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,160 Speaker 1: and the kids think it's a good idea, but they 312 00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:37,040 Speaker 1: don't know to be about connection and intellect and spirituality. 313 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:39,520 Speaker 1: They're just kind of it's what you did then. You 314 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:41,840 Speaker 1: just got married. You just grabbed a companion and you 315 00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:45,120 Speaker 1: got married. So I get it. But these people then, 316 00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:48,080 Speaker 1: decades later, really want to find some of the aligns 317 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:51,800 Speaker 1: with what their soul and their heart feels, not just 318 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:55,920 Speaker 1: what their famili's logic feels and even their logic. I 319 00:15:55,960 --> 00:16:00,480 Speaker 1: think that people are to game playish in the to 320 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:05,640 Speaker 1: seem cool and secure, and it ends up seeming insecure. 321 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:09,560 Speaker 1: So there's a guy that was pursuing me and it 322 00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:11,440 Speaker 1: was a little pushy, and I kind of backed off. 323 00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:12,560 Speaker 2: It just was too much. 324 00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:15,680 Speaker 1: And someone kept saying to me how great they were 325 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:18,400 Speaker 1: and that they were really interested. And I opened the 326 00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:23,440 Speaker 1: door very slightly and they came in and made some 327 00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:29,240 Speaker 1: really nice, romantic and thoughtful gestures. And instead of being 328 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:32,000 Speaker 1: entitled or playing cat and mouse, I went out of 329 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:36,359 Speaker 1: my way and said, I really think that that was meaningful. 330 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:40,480 Speaker 1: That was a meaningful, thoughtful gesture. It was appreciated. In addition, 331 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:45,840 Speaker 1: when they were pursuing me and I was not responding. 332 00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:49,160 Speaker 1: It could have almost given a little bitchy like being like, 333 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:50,760 Speaker 1: I'm not sure if this is a fit, et cetera. 334 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:53,800 Speaker 1: But then I framed it and said, listen, this is 335 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,160 Speaker 1: exactly what I want. This is where I'm in my 336 00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:59,600 Speaker 1: life now. That's why I was hesitant. So these are 337 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:01,760 Speaker 1: the things that are my concerns and these are the 338 00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:04,200 Speaker 1: things that I want, and so that's you know, something 339 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:05,720 Speaker 1: like that. Like it was basically like, this is where 340 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:07,919 Speaker 1: I ultimately believe that I want to live, this is 341 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,520 Speaker 1: how my life and career is, and this is the 342 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:12,320 Speaker 1: stage I'm out of my life, and this is what 343 00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:14,680 Speaker 1: I want. And the person was like, yeah, no, I 344 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:17,680 Speaker 1: get it. Meaning you're telling someone now what you want 345 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:19,520 Speaker 1: right now. We're not in a relationship, but you're saying 346 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:21,119 Speaker 1: I don't want to even get in this car if 347 00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:22,760 Speaker 1: it's going in the wrong direction. So you need to 348 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,399 Speaker 1: know that ultimately I'm not going to want to do 349 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:27,600 Speaker 1: that or live there or be that. What I'm going 350 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:30,920 Speaker 1: to want to do, with flexibility and compromise is be here. 351 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:33,240 Speaker 2: So I want you to know that before you go 352 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,320 Speaker 2: out of your way to take me out and it 353 00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:35,840 Speaker 2: really works. 354 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:39,119 Speaker 1: And that's secure. That's not insecure. You're allowed at a 355 00:17:39,119 --> 00:17:41,199 Speaker 1: certain age to say this is what I want. You're 356 00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:43,560 Speaker 1: allowed to say it at your twenties, your thirties, You're 357 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:44,800 Speaker 1: allowed to say it at any point. 358 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,879 Speaker 2: It just has to land. And you can't seem desperate. 359 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,760 Speaker 1: You can't get drunk and start talking to someone and 360 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,159 Speaker 1: say but I want to get married by like, but 361 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:54,119 Speaker 1: you can before a date or on a date, you 362 00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:58,080 Speaker 1: could say, yeah, I have a pretty specific goal of mind. 363 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,640 Speaker 2: And while that may be, I. 364 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:02,720 Speaker 1: Mean, it doesn't work as well with younger men, I 365 00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:05,639 Speaker 1: don't think, because it might scare them, but it really 366 00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:12,800 Speaker 1: does work with older people. It is shocking how intentional 367 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:15,359 Speaker 1: so many people of a certain age want to be. 368 00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:18,080 Speaker 1: They know exactly what they want and they want it now. 369 00:18:18,359 --> 00:18:21,000 Speaker 1: And I've found that even more men than women, that 370 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:24,360 Speaker 1: men at a certain age really over fifty but late 371 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:27,840 Speaker 1: forty two, they know what they want and they want 372 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:30,320 Speaker 1: to be proactive about getting it now. And it's not 373 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:34,159 Speaker 1: about men dating younger women. Men date younger women, women 374 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,960 Speaker 1: can be gold diggers, women date younger men. A lot 375 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:39,439 Speaker 1: of things go on, but by and large, if someone 376 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:42,399 Speaker 1: is intentional about meeting someone, usually they want to be 377 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:45,000 Speaker 1: somewhat age appropriate. That it's what I have found, and 378 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:48,040 Speaker 1: I found that it's way more. There are way more 379 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:52,040 Speaker 1: men that really are like acting as if they're treating 380 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:52,400 Speaker 1: it like a. 381 00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:53,800 Speaker 2: Business, like they really want it. 382 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:58,640 Speaker 1: I have come to really realize that the matchmaking industry 383 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:01,800 Speaker 1: and the app industry are men sing the mark because 384 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:07,639 Speaker 1: I've been dating, because I've started a dating model that 385 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:11,359 Speaker 1: I won't get into great detail about because there are 386 00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:14,960 Speaker 1: a lot of things about it that are proprietary, new 387 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:21,080 Speaker 1: ways of doing things, new concepts, new debunking myths about women, 388 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:26,639 Speaker 1: debunking men only wanting younger women, debunking that men think 389 00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:32,080 Speaker 1: all women are gold diggers, debunking that men don't want 390 00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:35,119 Speaker 1: really accomplished women. And just like all the things we're told, 391 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:50,560 Speaker 1: I'm finding are false. People who want to meet someone 392 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:54,320 Speaker 1: and who are intentional about finding a relationship. They want it, 393 00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:56,000 Speaker 1: and they want it now, and they're serious about it. 394 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:58,120 Speaker 1: They'll treat it like a job because they don't go out. 395 00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:00,240 Speaker 1: They don't party in the way that younger peop do. 396 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:01,800 Speaker 1: They don't go out to night clubs. They're not just 397 00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:04,960 Speaker 1: out every night hooking up, meeting someone the biggest thing 398 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:06,840 Speaker 1: being about like what they're going to order in from 399 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:09,080 Speaker 1: Uber Eats and what they're going to watch on Netflix. 400 00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:11,280 Speaker 1: It's not like that at a certain age, and you 401 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:13,000 Speaker 1: don't know about it until you're at a certain age. 402 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:14,880 Speaker 1: You don't even know about it really in your forties. 403 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:18,480 Speaker 1: Just something comes together at a certain age. And also 404 00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:21,680 Speaker 1: the way that people sort of work together when they're 405 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,800 Speaker 1: trying to either lose weight or get in shape, that 406 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:29,560 Speaker 1: also occurs can occur in dating if like minded people 407 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:36,639 Speaker 1: are discussing it. It's amazing how a support system can work, 408 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:41,440 Speaker 1: meaning not allowing your friends at a certain level to 409 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,720 Speaker 1: tolerate less than what they deserve. We did that in 410 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:46,240 Speaker 1: our twenties and our thirties, and sometimes, I guess in 411 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:49,800 Speaker 1: our forties. But like at a certain age, you're not 412 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:54,000 Speaker 1: even remotely tolerating a friend tolerating something either abusive or 413 00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:58,640 Speaker 1: dysfunctional or because the one thing that dating coach said 414 00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:02,480 Speaker 1: on here that was true is that dating is an 415 00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:06,480 Speaker 1: interview process for the most important position. So if you 416 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:09,400 Speaker 1: put it through that filter, you will just know when 417 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:11,440 Speaker 1: someone is even in the running for the job or 418 00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:12,159 Speaker 1: should be fired. 419 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:13,439 Speaker 2: And how do you fire someone? 420 00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:19,280 Speaker 1: So I've met some people that are very good quote 421 00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:26,200 Speaker 1: unquote catches, are successful or attractive, are fun, but maybe 422 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,600 Speaker 1: they break crumb a little. Maybe they're not romantic, or 423 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:31,520 Speaker 1: they don't send flowers, or they don't follow up, or 424 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:34,719 Speaker 1: they don't thank you when it was a nice time together, 425 00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:38,200 Speaker 1: or they are still playing games or whatever. 426 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:39,080 Speaker 2: It is, okay. 427 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:44,000 Speaker 1: The thing that women that are playing checkers do is 428 00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:48,440 Speaker 1: blow them out, like meaning let's say you go out 429 00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:50,080 Speaker 1: with someone a couple times, you think they like you, 430 00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:52,800 Speaker 1: they say all these amazing things to you, and then 431 00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:55,480 Speaker 1: they kind of go a little cold, or they ghost you, 432 00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:58,359 Speaker 1: or something happens right or you just they're break crumbing you. 433 00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:03,920 Speaker 1: Many women want to like get into the nastiness, meaning 434 00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:07,080 Speaker 1: like be rude to the guy, ignore the guy, say 435 00:22:07,119 --> 00:22:09,520 Speaker 1: something nasty or it was totally inappropriate that you did that. 436 00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:12,760 Speaker 1: My way of doing things, which seems to work, and 437 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:15,960 Speaker 1: I've been sharing it with my friends, is to respectfully 438 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:20,760 Speaker 1: tell the person that your needs and wants don't align. 439 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:25,280 Speaker 1: It could literally be that the person is blowing you off, 440 00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:29,880 Speaker 1: but sometimes you get triggered in that process and you're 441 00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:31,720 Speaker 1: like in some game that you don't even want to 442 00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:33,920 Speaker 1: be playing, but if someone texts you, then you text back, 443 00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:36,080 Speaker 1: and you're kind of like in this volley that you're 444 00:22:36,119 --> 00:22:38,640 Speaker 1: not interested in. But you can always get the ball 445 00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:41,560 Speaker 1: back and you can always take control of what's going on. 446 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:43,720 Speaker 1: And my way of doing that is if I'm not 447 00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:46,600 Speaker 1: liking the way something is going or the way someone's acting, 448 00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:50,159 Speaker 1: you could either say, like this hurt my feelings or 449 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,520 Speaker 1: this is not what I think. 450 00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:53,760 Speaker 2: Is appropriate or respectful. 451 00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:56,040 Speaker 1: But if you're not at that point with a person, 452 00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:57,760 Speaker 1: it's someone that you've just met a couple times, it's 453 00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:00,840 Speaker 1: effectively a stranger. And I'm not gonna start sharing all 454 00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:03,000 Speaker 1: my feelings and being vulnerable with a stranger. 455 00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:04,080 Speaker 2: I don't owe that to them. 456 00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:06,720 Speaker 1: And as a woman, I would like to be pursued 457 00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:08,919 Speaker 1: because I do think there is some tradition in it, 458 00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:14,960 Speaker 1: and if someone's not being totally respectful and doing a 459 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:20,239 Speaker 1: good job in that interview process, I'll just say I 460 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:24,280 Speaker 1: don't think this is a connection. I think this is 461 00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:27,200 Speaker 1: based on what I'm looking for. Our needs and wants 462 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:29,480 Speaker 1: don't line up. We're not aligned. This is not a fit, 463 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,760 Speaker 1: and you'd be surprised how it works. You'd be surprised 464 00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:35,360 Speaker 1: how someone ends up wanting to find out why it's 465 00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:38,760 Speaker 1: a fit, or someone leans in and starts to be 466 00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:41,880 Speaker 1: so nice and kind for the wrong reasons, because it's 467 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:45,480 Speaker 1: like they're playing a game. Basically, at a certain age, 468 00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:50,320 Speaker 1: people should be upfront and direct and secure, and being 469 00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:56,159 Speaker 1: honest and transparent and confident is very secure. It's not 470 00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:58,840 Speaker 1: giving needy, it's not giving desperate. It's giving straightforward. It's 471 00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:02,080 Speaker 1: giving you because you're a big fucking swinging dick, and 472 00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:04,160 Speaker 1: you think that people are just gonna tolerate whatever you're 473 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:07,600 Speaker 1: gonna throw because traditionally women have been the ones that 474 00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:10,200 Speaker 1: are just taking the scraps and the breadcrumbs. You're gonna 475 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,119 Speaker 1: lay down where you're gonna follow them and be excited 476 00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,000 Speaker 1: that you gave us a rose, as if like we 477 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:16,680 Speaker 1: should give you a fucking cookie, when in fact, what 478 00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,320 Speaker 1: if a man has a nice time with a woman, 479 00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:21,879 Speaker 1: he should say I had a great time, or he 480 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:25,600 Speaker 1: should send flowers or whatever is obviously within his price range. 481 00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:29,440 Speaker 1: But women are just used to taking such shit and 482 00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:32,000 Speaker 1: scraps that it kind of has to end, and women 483 00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:34,959 Speaker 1: have to hold other women accountable to not stand for that. 484 00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:38,280 Speaker 1: When you feel an ick, there's usually an ick when 485 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:42,960 Speaker 1: you see a pink flag, there's usually a fire engine 486 00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:44,040 Speaker 1: red flag. 487 00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:45,719 Speaker 2: So go with that. 488 00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:50,440 Speaker 1: Trust that, Like I said, it's a stranger. Don't give 489 00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,439 Speaker 1: the idea of what someone could be or what you 490 00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:56,040 Speaker 1: thought they would be. Don't let that inform you as 491 00:24:56,040 --> 00:25:00,120 Speaker 1: to how you're gonna act. Don't give that any currency. 492 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:03,639 Speaker 1: Women meet someone and they fantasize in their minds what 493 00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:05,600 Speaker 1: this person is going to be or could be, based 494 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:09,199 Speaker 1: on their title, their resume, their wealth, their looks, And 495 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:12,040 Speaker 1: you're fantasizing either you could change them, or oh my god, 496 00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,119 Speaker 1: what if I married him? Or we could be we 497 00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:15,879 Speaker 1: could live here, or we could do this so we 498 00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:19,280 Speaker 1: could travel there. And you're fantasizing about a stranger. And 499 00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:23,760 Speaker 1: then when the person doesn't align with the standards that 500 00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:27,000 Speaker 1: you already have and should set and should not be breaking, 501 00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:30,800 Speaker 1: you're trying to like make excuses for them, and you 502 00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:33,840 Speaker 1: really shouldn't be, because in the beginning is how someone 503 00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:37,080 Speaker 1: should line up the best. It's the new car smell. 504 00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:39,800 Speaker 1: The beginning is when someone should be on their best behavior. 505 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,200 Speaker 1: So if they can't treat you the way you want 506 00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,879 Speaker 1: to be treated in the beginning, then there's no hope 507 00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:45,040 Speaker 1: for it. 508 00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:45,399 Speaker 2: Later. 509 00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:49,960 Speaker 1: So, just like raise the bar is, I personally would 510 00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:54,080 Speaker 1: rather be alone than lower the bar, and I have 511 00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:57,520 Speaker 1: gotten to a beautiful state in my life where I 512 00:25:57,560 --> 00:26:03,760 Speaker 1: am not happy, but perfect, peaceful and satisfied. Being alone 513 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,879 Speaker 1: I wouldn't be my first choice, but it would be 514 00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:11,880 Speaker 1: my first choice over fantasizing a stranger and letting him 515 00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:14,640 Speaker 1: treat me in a way that is less than how 516 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,600 Speaker 1: I deserve to be treated. So I suggest the same 517 00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:36,959 Speaker 1: thing to you