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Speaker 1: Okay, you want to start it. Here we go wind

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Speaker 1: down with Janna Kramer and I Heart Radio Podcast. We

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Speaker 1: are winding down in Nashville, y'all. Hey, girls, your things

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Speaker 1: are coming on that I am in the studio right now.

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Speaker 1: I'm actually we're actually in the Bobby Bones studio and uh,

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Speaker 1: we are in Nashville, Tennessee. And I'm here with my rider. Dyes.

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Speaker 1: I've got Beth to my right, say what up? What up?

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Speaker 1: I've got Katherine who was shaking in the corner. Hey, guys.

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Speaker 1: And I got my girl Leslie over there. Hey, hey, hey, hey, so, um,

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Speaker 1: these girls are these are my girls. Like we've all

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Speaker 1: been through it together in one way or the other.

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Speaker 1: Can we agree? And lots of ways? Um, And they're

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Speaker 1: really nervous and I'm trying to tell them to not

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Speaker 1: be nervous because we're all friends. We talk all the time.

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Speaker 1: This is just what we do, right, This is normal.

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Speaker 1: This is normal. Um. So I've known Katherine for Katherine

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Speaker 1: is my manager, day to day manager, and um turned

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Speaker 1: best friend. And then she's friends with Bath and then

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Speaker 1: Leslie was my neighbor. It well we're moving, but is

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Speaker 1: my neighbor turned friend? But um, yeah, this it's been crazy.

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Speaker 1: I'm here, we've been packing the house and the house

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Speaker 1: is packed, but I'm girls. It was tough. It was

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Speaker 1: hard leaving. I mean that I think the hardest was,

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Speaker 1: Um we I made Mike and I sit down because

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Speaker 1: there were two things that I was like, I don't

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Speaker 1: want to bring this to the other house and then

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Speaker 1: have like that bad feeling again when I see it.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, I want to sit down with

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Speaker 1: you and go through these pictures because I had, like,

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Speaker 1: I made them this photo album our very first year

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Speaker 1: of marriage, and at the end was like, I can't

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Speaker 1: wait to see what the next year holds. It was

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Speaker 1: like I was like, well, we know what that next

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Speaker 1: year held. But but we went through it and it

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Speaker 1: was just like it was a very good healing thing,

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Speaker 1: which was nice, But so is it going or is

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Speaker 1: it not going? It's going, because but now it's going

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Speaker 1: to be like we already went through it, Okay, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean. Um, But Catherine and Bath were

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Speaker 1: actually there when I discovered everything. Remember that at the

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Speaker 1: happiest place on Earth? Yeah? Right, isn't that the most

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Speaker 1: ironic thing ever? I mean, we were in freaking Disney World,

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Speaker 1: y'all called me from Disney. Yeah, I was at that

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Speaker 1: hotel the other day. Do you get the memories too? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: every single time I go back there, it's the dining

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Speaker 1: room table. Every time it's a Diamond Resorts. I um

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Speaker 1: play for them in Orlando, and it's just we sit

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Speaker 1: there like I just I'll never forget us three sitting

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Speaker 1: there and then face timing him and then called we

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Speaker 1: called Leslie. I was just like, oh god, it wasn't it.

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Speaker 1: Lots of wine, lots of wine, lots of tears. It

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Speaker 1: was a long night. It was a long night. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And then Leslie got to see the other part of me.

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Speaker 1: When I was in the Yeah, I'll never forget. I

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Speaker 1: was in the garage and I was slamming his xboxes

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Speaker 1: with a hammer. I literally was taking his xboxes because

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Speaker 1: he said that was his only vice. And I was

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Speaker 1: I was taking like, I literally a hammer to his

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Speaker 1: xboxes and Leslie walks in. She goes, okay, but well,

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Speaker 1: you wouldn't open the garage door. So I opened it.

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Speaker 1: I was like, let me in. I was like, let

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Speaker 1: me in. She wouldn't let me in. Yeah, that's amazing.

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Speaker 1: It was. It was funny. Now it wasn't funny. Then

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Speaker 1: I just had my baby in studio. I forgot he

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Speaker 1: was here. Um, so we also have another little small visitor. Um,

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Speaker 1: Beth just had a baby Davy. So baby Davy is

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Speaker 1: joining baby baby Davy. But you know, all is well now,

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Speaker 1: so we're good. Just just wanted to go down memory

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Speaker 1: lane there for a second with my with my girls. UM,

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Speaker 1: I want to talk about parenting pet peeves because I

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Speaker 1: feel like we all have some very interesting pet peeves.

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Speaker 1: So who wants to go first? One? This is just

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Speaker 1: a weird thing with me, I think. But I hate

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Speaker 1: it when um Jeff calls my kids dudes dudes. He's like,

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Speaker 1: I'm on, dude, I'm like, they have a name. That helpful? Right?

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Speaker 1: That's it popped into my head. Just then, were you

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Speaker 1: mad when he came home the day? Was he actually

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Speaker 1: mad at me? By the way? Okay, why because I

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Speaker 1: felt like when because so I was watching the Bachelorette

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Speaker 1: with Beth and Rachel and he was at work all

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Speaker 1: day and you, um, you had the baby and the

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Speaker 1: two other kids all day, and you've worked a really

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Speaker 1: long day too, and he comes home and he's like,

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Speaker 1: I need me time. It's like well, what, I think

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Speaker 1: that's what you just had. No, I'll take the baby,

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Speaker 1: I know, and I didn't mean to say that, but

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Speaker 1: I saw your look, so I was like, all right,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna But it's like you're like, yes, you're home

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Speaker 1: with the kids, but that is equally as hard as

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Speaker 1: being on your feet all day working. And I mean

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Speaker 1: that's all and I worked too. Yeah, so you're working,

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Speaker 1: trying to do emails, trying to do calls, and you've

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Speaker 1: got three kids and a freaking baby latched on your

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Speaker 1: boob right now, you know. So it's like that's hard work.

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Speaker 1: But and he's allowed to go have his time. Well yeah,

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Speaker 1: he had gone to dinner with his friends, so what

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Speaker 1: That's why I was like And I was like, hey,

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Speaker 1: don't you want to come hold your baby? And he's like,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go outside and have some me time. And

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Speaker 1: I saw her look and I was like, no, actually,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna come hold your baby. And I was like

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Speaker 1: I should have like not over. I was like, well

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Speaker 1: he hates me, now, I let it. No, he wasn't

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Speaker 1: mad at all, but yeah, but it was going to

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Speaker 1: go smoke a cigar and I was like, just don't

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Speaker 1: smoke the cigar and take the baby outside, right, But

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Speaker 1: which takes forever, by the way, a cigar. When they

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Speaker 1: say they're going to go smoke a cigar, it takes

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Speaker 1: so long. It's like when they go to the bathroom.

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Speaker 1: How long does it take you to go to the bathroom. Well,

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Speaker 1: Mike's in there, sitting there. It's like thirty and he's

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Speaker 1: calling right now. Ain't answer and it sorry buddy, talking

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Speaker 1: about your but like it takes him like thirty minutes,

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Speaker 1: and I going he's playing, playing his golf game as

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Speaker 1: he's like taking a you know what. To be fair,

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Speaker 1: what I've done that? Really? Yeah, I mean I try,

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Speaker 1: but it doesn't work. Yeah, well it only works if

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Speaker 1: they're home to keep the kids. Otherwise, I just go

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Speaker 1: into the bathroom, shut the door. I was done five

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Speaker 1: minutes ago. But I'm still sitting in there, like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, it's quiet in here. Yeah. Well yeah, I

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Speaker 1: mean I'm alone. No one's asking me for anything until

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Speaker 1: they stick their fingers under the door of money. Can

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Speaker 1: you see my fingers? Can you see my fingers? And

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Speaker 1: I'm like, where's Chris? The problem is, yeah, the dad

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Speaker 1: is there, but yet they still ask you for everything.

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Speaker 1: That's what drives me crazy. I will say to myself

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Speaker 1: in the bathroom, I will say in defense, I take

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Speaker 1: very long showers, so I'll sit there on my little stool.

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Speaker 1: I'll steam, So I guess that's my pooping. Than thank you.

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Speaker 1: I don't have a gall of a bladder. People, all right,

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Speaker 1: my food goes right there. Thank you, Thank you very much. Awesome. Um,

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Speaker 1: what's yours, Catherine? Does it have to be about my

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Speaker 1: own husband or other people? Oh? It give you other people.

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Speaker 1: I also want to talk about what we we totally

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Speaker 1: mom shame the other night when we were at the

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Speaker 1: movie theater. At the theater, oh yeah, I know we did. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So here's the thing, Leslie. We went to go see

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Speaker 1: um Jurassic World, and there was kids in front of

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Speaker 1: us that were three years old, three four and like

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Speaker 1: very young a six year old. I mean, there's there's

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Speaker 1: a dude being eaten apart by a dinosaur and we're like,

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Speaker 1: those kids are too young for that. And then I

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Speaker 1: was like, holy crap on mom shaming. Well, they're it's

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Speaker 1: mom shaming if you're like, she's such a crappy mom

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Speaker 1: because she took her kids to the movie it's another

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Speaker 1: thing to say, oh my god, I don't think i'd

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Speaker 1: ever do that. That child is for and doesn't belong

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Speaker 1: in a movie where people are being torn apart by

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Speaker 1: monsters that they think are real. Right, I don't necessarily

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Speaker 1: think that's mom shaming. I think that's is it passing

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Speaker 1: a little bit of judgment maybe, so that can be different.

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Speaker 1: That can be construed as two different, I think. And

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Speaker 1: you're not doing it greatly, like you may be made

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Speaker 1: a little comment to Catherine, but well, I think they

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Speaker 1: may have heard us. I think they did too, But

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Speaker 1: that dad was kind of annoying. Well, and he kept

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Speaker 1: going back on the seats, and then their kids kept farting,

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Speaker 1: so I couldn't even enjoy them. It was that. Yeah, Well,

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Speaker 1: and that's another reason why you don't take a four

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Speaker 1: year old to a movie, because they can't sit still

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Speaker 1: in a movie that they don't find even interesting. But

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Speaker 1: Beth did take her baby though, but babies everywhere. But

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Speaker 1: I think it's different because it's a baby. He spends

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Speaker 1: his time sleeping and the whole thing, and he's any

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Speaker 1: of it. But it wasn't bad. Actually cried two times.

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Speaker 1: But it's I love that you knew exactly how many

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Speaker 1: times he cried Janna. Okay, so what's your pet peeve

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Speaker 1: for other people? Well, I was gonna say, and I

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Speaker 1: can't say because my husband's very good at this, but man' yes, Nick,

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Speaker 1: but men don't help. Number one pet peeve when I

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Speaker 1: see it in my friend's husband's I want to do

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Speaker 1: like what you did the other night. It's so hard

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Speaker 1: for me to not say something. Have you said something before?

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Speaker 1: Two others probably like what I did too. Yeah, I've

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Speaker 1: probably done it to Jeff and Kevin a time or two. No,

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Speaker 1: I'm just kidding. I'm not saying they don't help. But

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Speaker 1: I get very like and again, Nick does a lot,

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Speaker 1: so you know, but it's like it's not just the

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Speaker 1: mom's job to raise the kids and do everything for

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Speaker 1: the kids. I say, Nick is incredible with that. I mean,

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Speaker 1: he he's like, he does the laundry, he helps the laundry,

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Speaker 1: he helps with you know, cooking. Oh, he cooks. I

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Speaker 1: don't even cook. So I will give him that. He

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Speaker 1: has a great dad. But it I don't give him

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Speaker 1: a lot of choice too. I will say, but I

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Speaker 1: also work a lot, you know, and but so do

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Speaker 1: other women, you know. I just it frustrates me. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: I think it's the mom's fault and I agree with you,

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Speaker 1: or because they're just so controlling they want to do

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Speaker 1: it their way, so they do everything. Ye, well, I

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Speaker 1: think they set it up that way. Do you think

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Speaker 1: you did that with your husband? Set it up so

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Speaker 1: that he can do nothing? Yeah? Um, maybe a little bit,

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Speaker 1: maybe a little bit. But you know, in fairness, he

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Speaker 1: it's a thing he doesn't He doesn't cook. He flat

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Speaker 1: out doesn't cook. I knew that going into it, and

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Speaker 1: so our agreement always was you cook and then he

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Speaker 1: cleans up. And I don't mind cooking. I truthfully don't

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Speaker 1: mind cooking. I cannot stand a load of dishwasher. So

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Speaker 1: for us it works out great. I don't like to downloading,

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Speaker 1: but you know, so it works out great. But that

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Speaker 1: that was our agreement from the beginning, is that I

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Speaker 1: would cook and he would clean up. I think what

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Speaker 1: if I'm allowed to say this is you sometimes feel

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Speaker 1: like you're and I think a lot of parents feel

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Speaker 1: this is you feel like you're not fun. So Chris

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Speaker 1: is fun. Remember when we Shaan or Drew that said

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Speaker 1: that the mommy's thing. Yes, this hurt, Yeah, it was um.

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Speaker 1: I think it was a Father's Day thing. And you

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Speaker 1: know how at school they'll give the kids a questionnaire

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Speaker 1: to fill out about, you know, to fill in the

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Speaker 1: blank basically about dad, and I forget exactly what it said,

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Speaker 1: but it was, um, it was something along the lines.

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Speaker 1: I don't even remember which kid it was. I think

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Speaker 1: it might have been Drew. It was something along the

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Speaker 1: lines of, um, Daddy plays with me and he's always

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Speaker 1: so much fun and he always has my back. And

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh, oh wait a minute, have your back,

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Speaker 1: have your hold on. That's not even fair. But in

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Speaker 1: fairness to whichever child it was that was saying this,

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Speaker 1: he was just thinking in context of Chris. But it's

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Speaker 1: stunk because I was like, I stay home with you

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Speaker 1: and he's rock star dad. But the flip side is

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Speaker 1: when they're hurt or they're sad or something's upset them,

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Speaker 1: they usually come to me. So it's it's it goes

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Speaker 1: both ways, but it's it's stings when they say it

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Speaker 1: in front of you. That stings because I feel like

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Speaker 1: I've given up a large portion of my life for

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Speaker 1: these kids. Yeah, well, my Mother's Day things said the

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Speaker 1: best thing my mom cooks is bagels. So there. I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's kind of true. That's fantastic. Um. What's your pet peeve? Um?

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Speaker 1: I think my pet peeve is when parents don't parent

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Speaker 1: their kids like in like in public or around other people,

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Speaker 1: like correct the kid. Yeah. Like so, for example, there

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Speaker 1: are kids running around a restaurant and there's so I

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Speaker 1: watched this go down. It's a busy restaurant. It's not

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Speaker 1: a it's definitely a kid place, but it's a busy restaurant.

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Speaker 1: And the seats are in the middle of the of

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Speaker 1: the aisle, and so the waiters and waitresses are going

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Speaker 1: up either side of the table, and these kids are

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Speaker 1: running around the table, and these waiters are, you know,

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Speaker 1: have trays full of hot food. And I want so

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Speaker 1: bad to say, oh my god, get out of the aisle.

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Speaker 1: You're either going to get hurt. You're going to hurt someone,

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Speaker 1: or hot food is going to fall over the place.

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Speaker 1: And the parents are just oblivious and in conversation, and

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Speaker 1: it I can't enjoy my dinner when I see other

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Speaker 1: kids running around just acting like I don't know, do

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Speaker 1: rather than have an iPad in front of them? Yep?

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Speaker 1: I mean I think, yeah, it's not the popular but yes,

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Speaker 1: if that shuts the listen, I'm a fan of TV babysitters.

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. I've used it multiple times. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean iPads are great, but I mean there's sometimes

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Speaker 1: and like when Joelie is, you know, in the restaurant,

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Speaker 1: it's like, I I try to container as much as

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Speaker 1: I can, but it's hard because I don't want to

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Speaker 1: just go straight to the iPad. But you're not ignoring her,

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Speaker 1: as my point, you're not completely believe she's not running

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Speaker 1: around the restaurant unaccompanied, creating havoc for other people. Yeah. No,

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Speaker 1: I mean that's kind of like where it leads. It

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Speaker 1: like one of my pet peeves is on an airplane

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Speaker 1: and when a kid is because I make sure if

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Speaker 1: Jolie is not grabbing on the other person's seat in

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Speaker 1: front of me or like pushing it, and it's still

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Speaker 1: like I still have to remind her a million times

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Speaker 1: onto that. But when a parent doesn't say like, hey,

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Speaker 1: stop kicking that person's seat, that drives me bonkers. Um.

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Speaker 1: And then obviously my my husband pet peeve is I

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Speaker 1: get out of this lot and he's always like, well,

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Speaker 1: you're always on your phone on Instagram. I'm like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: well I'm instagramming like Jolie in that moment. But he'll

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Speaker 1: be on his phone and Jolie will be like right next,

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Speaker 1: and for some reason it just bothers me. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I try to hide my phone so that she doesn't

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Speaker 1: see that I'm on it, and he'll just like blatantly

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Speaker 1: be on his phone and he's like, well to work.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, well, then like step away, because I'm afraid

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Speaker 1: of what this generation is going to do for kids

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Speaker 1: when the parents are just like stuck on their phone.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, it bothers me too. But then I find

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Speaker 1: myself doing it, and then I feel bad because I

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Speaker 1: get onto him. And then I was saying the same thing.

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Speaker 1: But it's because I think it's because you're on the

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Speaker 1: outside looking in and you see it. So you're seeing

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Speaker 1: that child looking at the other parent like hello, look

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Speaker 1: at me, look at me, But when you're the one

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Speaker 1: doing it, you don't think about it. True. I mean

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Speaker 1: I'm sure I have, but I don't know. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: like when they're like trying to get their attention and

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Speaker 1: they just can't pull away from it. It's like that's

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Speaker 1: when it's like gets um, yeah, that but that just

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Speaker 1: like scares me though, for like the kind of like this,

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Speaker 1: like what is what am I going to screw my

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Speaker 1: daughter up with? That is she's going to think that

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Speaker 1: because I mean I remember like when my dad I

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Speaker 1: was like in middle school and I'm like hey dad,

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Speaker 1: and he was on the computer and then like an

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Speaker 1: hour later he's just someone call my name. But I

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Speaker 1: don't know. Is that why I'm always like going trying

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Speaker 1: to get approval. I don't know, we're trying to get

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Speaker 1: someone's attention. I don't I don't know. I think you're

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Speaker 1: going to screw him up something else. How do you

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Speaker 1: think you're gonna cat your screw up? How do you

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Speaker 1: think ways if you really think about it, if you

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Speaker 1: think about like the things that stick in your head

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Speaker 1: that your parents did that bothered you. I think about

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Speaker 1: it now as an adult, and I'm like, that probably

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Speaker 1: wasn't that big of a deal. That wasn't that big

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Speaker 1: of a now being an adult, you know, but it's like, hell,

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Speaker 1: I amn't therapy half to die for half the stuff,

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Speaker 1: you know. I think you're I think you're kind of

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Speaker 1: excuse my language, damned if you do, Damned if you don't.

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Speaker 1: As a parent. Sometimes I think you do the best

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Speaker 1: you can, but there are things that no matter you

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Speaker 1: try your hardest, and there are things that are gonna

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Speaker 1: probably stick with the kid that was a negative. A

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Speaker 1: lot of positives, but there's going to be negatives. I

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Speaker 1: don't I don't think anybody can be perfect and their

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Speaker 1: parents are gonna, you know, they're gonna look at their

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Speaker 1: parents and think they didn't screw anything up right, But

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Speaker 1: that's just me. Okay. So I want to talk to

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Speaker 1: you guys about Brooklyn. And I always say, you spend

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Speaker 1: almost half your life sleeping in bed, so you need

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Speaker 1: comfortable sheets. And I'm so happy that I discovered Brooklyn

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Speaker 1: and they were found in April two fourteen by husband

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Speaker 1: online betting category by Good Housekeeping, and I love Good Housekeeping.

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Speaker 1: They've got really great colors and patterns. Mike and I

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Speaker 1: sleep in just the plain white or the nice beige.

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Speaker 1: But this is luxury betting underpriced. You guys have to

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Speaker 1: try these sheets. Okay, So to get twenty dollars off

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Speaker 1: Brooklyn dot com. I know you guys will love it.

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00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:30,320
Speaker 1: Can we talk about Caden's baseball game? Oh lord? Yes?

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Speaker 1: So I was talking to Leslie about the last podcast

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Speaker 1: about how Jolie. I don't know if you guys listened

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Speaker 1: to it, but I said I was fine with Jolie

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Speaker 1: getting a trophy for I have a lot to say

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Speaker 1: about that, do you do, Leslie? Want to just just

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Speaker 1: she's two and a half. Why do they need trophies

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Speaker 1: for a dance recital? Flower being a vacation for a cheer? Agreed?

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Speaker 1: But when my son got their first runner up trophy.

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Speaker 1: You better bet I pretty much did what Mike said

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Speaker 1: he would do. What did you do to it? I

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Speaker 1: didn't take it. I'll let him have it, but I

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Speaker 1: wanted to throw in the trash. They didn't win, they

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Speaker 1: didn't play their best, good job. I don't know. I'm

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Speaker 1: just not all about the everybody gets. I totally agree.

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Speaker 1: I totally for me runner up as first loser. Absolutely damn.

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Speaker 1: I mean I I just I think that it. I

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Speaker 1: think that it turns into as they get older, a

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Speaker 1: situation where you're you're coddling your kids. Not everybody's a winner,

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Speaker 1: Not everybody is going to get the job. Not everyone's

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Speaker 1: gonna lay in the promotion. That's just it's life. And

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Speaker 1: if we start giving them participation trophies because they played

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Speaker 1: a season of baseball, I just think it's why, why

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Speaker 1: if you want fine take the trophy? Like we just so,

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Speaker 1: my fourteen year old is getting a new bedroom and

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Speaker 1: so we were going through all of his participation trophies.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, don't you want to throw these out? He's like,

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Speaker 1: uh why, I'm like, because you didn't really earn them.

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Speaker 1: I was like the ones over there in the tournaments

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Speaker 1: where you guys actually placed. Yeah, totally keep those, put

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Speaker 1: those out, display them. But I'm like the participation trophies,

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Speaker 1: like we can let go of those. And did you

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Speaker 1: he did? Okay? He did. Now, if he had dug

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Speaker 1: in and said no, I want to keep him, then

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't have I wouldn't have made him, made him

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Speaker 1: throw them out. But at the same time, I was like, you,

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Speaker 1: I mean, because you showed up, right. You know, it's

382
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Speaker 1: like getting a pan on the back for showing up

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Speaker 1: to work. That's what you're supposed to do. You know,

384
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:39,919
Speaker 1: you're on a team. You sign up to me on

385
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Speaker 1: a team, You're supposed to show up right, Okay. But

386
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:46,479
Speaker 1: so here we go to to to Catherine's thing. So

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Speaker 1: Mike was Mike and I are so obviously we announced

388
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Speaker 1: that we're pregnant, and we're really excited, and you know,

389
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:55,480
Speaker 1: we're we're kind of talking about when our kids start

390
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Speaker 1: to play sports, how we're going to handle it when

391
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Speaker 1: maybe they might not be the best player on the

392
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Speaker 1: team more maybe you know, um, we want to make

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Speaker 1: sure we're not too hard because I remember my dad

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Speaker 1: was so hard on my brother and baseball that he

395
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Speaker 1: would make my brother cry and my brother don't want

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Speaker 1: to play baseball anymore. He just he stopped. He's like,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to play anymore. It's not fun because

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00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:15,720
Speaker 1: dad was so hard on him. So then would you

399
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Speaker 1: like to take the well, First of all, I don't

400
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Speaker 1: agree with that. I think if they don't want to

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00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:22,400
Speaker 1: play something, they don't have to. So basically, Kata made

402
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:25,440
Speaker 1: the All star team. They're playing a tournament. First game,

403
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:30,280
Speaker 1: he to his defense, he got put on second base

404
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:33,440
Speaker 1: and right before the batter came up, they pulled him

405
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:36,480
Speaker 1: because there was a mistake. He's nine. He doesn't understand that.

406
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:38,880
Speaker 1: He does not know why he got pulled off. Then

407
00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:42,480
Speaker 1: he proceeds to barely play at all, so which is hard.

408
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:45,480
Speaker 1: It's hard as a parent watching it. However, our team

409
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:48,640
Speaker 1: killed the other team. He sat on that bench with

410
00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:52,239
Speaker 1: his head down, basically crying the entire time because he

411
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:55,160
Speaker 1: was so fixated on the fact that he didn't play.

412
00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:58,680
Speaker 1: Instead of cheering for his team, I ignored him. I

413
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:02,000
Speaker 1: would not look at Hitch like mother f him. Not

414
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:05,040
Speaker 1: yet at the point after the game, I was like,

415
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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna know Hi, I'm not gonna say anything.

416
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:08,280
Speaker 1: I'm gonna let Nick Candle this because he's actually a

417
00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:10,520
Speaker 1: little bit He's actually better at handling that than I am,

418
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:13,399
Speaker 1: which is sad, so ignore him. We walk back to that.

419
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Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not gonna say anything next, I

420
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Speaker 1: just don't say anything. And then I turned around. I

421
00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:18,679
Speaker 1: was like, I'm just gonna say one thing, you know,

422
00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:20,399
Speaker 1: But like I was like, you won't ever play a

423
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:24,800
Speaker 1: sport ever again if I ever see that again. Absolutely not.

424
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:26,840
Speaker 1: You cheer on your team no matter what. Well, I

425
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:28,840
Speaker 1: think it's it comes to the thing where it's like, yeah,

426
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:30,480
Speaker 1: you couldn't be sad. You can come to us and

427
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:31,880
Speaker 1: be like, hey, I was really hurt that, like they

428
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:34,159
Speaker 1: pulled me, but you were playing over the team, Like

429
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,160
Speaker 1: you have to be supportive of that. So I agree

430
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:38,280
Speaker 1: with you on that. Well, and Chuck was really good

431
00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:41,400
Speaker 1: because he was like, look, I understand you were disappointed.

432
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:44,440
Speaker 1: We were disappointed. We weren't happy that you didn't get

433
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:46,439
Speaker 1: to go back out there at second base, you know,

434
00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:49,040
Speaker 1: like we're not happy about that, but it doesn't matter.

435
00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:51,240
Speaker 1: That's not the point. You cheer on your team. And

436
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:53,639
Speaker 1: he's not usually like that, which I think was the

437
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:56,119
Speaker 1: worst part about it. He's usually the first kid to

438
00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:59,320
Speaker 1: be cheering on the rest of this team. But I mean, honestly,

439
00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:01,760
Speaker 1: it was a learning moment for him because he missed

440
00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:03,960
Speaker 1: out on a really fun night. You know, they were

441
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:05,560
Speaker 1: so good that night. The rest of the ones they

442
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:09,000
Speaker 1: got killed, So he missed his chance to like enjoy it.

443
00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:10,960
Speaker 1: But we made him call the coach when we got

444
00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:14,800
Speaker 1: home and apologized to him, and so hopefully it was

445
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:18,200
Speaker 1: a good teaching lesson. Well that's what sports is all about, right, Yeah,

446
00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:20,320
Speaker 1: And see, I think I would have been pissed with

447
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:25,840
Speaker 1: Caden w Yeah, I would have been like, oh, I

448
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:27,720
Speaker 1: don't know that I could have enjoyed the game. Oh

449
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:30,320
Speaker 1: I was pissed. I'm still pissed because I got worse

450
00:23:30,359 --> 00:23:32,080
Speaker 1: the next couple of games. I hope he's not listening

451
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:34,720
Speaker 1: to this, but like he still barely played him. But

452
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:38,320
Speaker 1: I looked at Cayden on the third game and I said,

453
00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:43,359
Speaker 1: I'm pissed you cheer on your team. Let mom be pissed.

454
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:45,520
Speaker 1: You don't get to be right now. But I'm still

455
00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:48,720
Speaker 1: not happy. But he has to learn he can't act

456
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:50,080
Speaker 1: that way and sit there and pound because it's a

457
00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:52,640
Speaker 1: selfish reaction. He has to learn how to deal with

458
00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:57,640
Speaker 1: that emotion and think about the people around him. But yeah,

459
00:23:57,680 --> 00:24:01,520
Speaker 1: I was pissed. Can we talk about bedtime really fast? Um?

460
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:04,080
Speaker 1: So we're in group chat and we talk about how

461
00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:05,760
Speaker 1: you guys are like the devils at night with the

462
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,199
Speaker 1: kids because they won't go to bed. What do I

463
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:13,920
Speaker 1: have to look forward to? Well, my middle child didn't

464
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:17,720
Speaker 1: sleep until he was three through the night, oh my god.

465
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,040
Speaker 1: And we had to turn the lock around on his

466
00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:23,119
Speaker 1: door and lock him in his room. We talk about that.

467
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:26,200
Speaker 1: We did the same thing. Are you serious? Pediatrician told

468
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:28,280
Speaker 1: me to do it. No, not talk about that. Why

469
00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:30,240
Speaker 1: is your kid not sleeping till he's three years old?

470
00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:36,920
Speaker 1: Let's talk about that. Damn. You know why other two

471
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:41,280
Speaker 1: are champions? So? I don't know. I think it's because

472
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,240
Speaker 1: we put him in the rocket play when he was

473
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:48,119
Speaker 1: an infant. Yeah, no, I I agree with Like, um,

474
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:52,119
Speaker 1: the Jolie was in her crib like when she was

475
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:55,640
Speaker 1: like two weeks old. I'm a stickler for that. Yeah,

476
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:57,399
Speaker 1: I don't want to her in my room. I have

477
00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,880
Speaker 1: nothing wrong with people sleeping with their kids in bed,

478
00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:02,800
Speaker 1: But personally, did you did Gray sleep in your bed? No?

479
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:06,280
Speaker 1: But he was in there just because I nursed him,

480
00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:10,760
Speaker 1: so he's always easier. I like that, but I should

481
00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:13,080
Speaker 1: have read some books or something. I thought I had

482
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:17,400
Speaker 1: magic milk because the first because jeans like six days old,

483
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:20,320
Speaker 1: so I got this. Yeah, I think I was just

484
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:24,520
Speaker 1: three years later. Um, hey, Mark, you want to read

485
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:27,600
Speaker 1: some emails for us? Sure? Thing? Should? We started with Maria?

486
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:31,080
Speaker 1: Maria all right? My boyfriend has a drinking problem, she says, Hey, Janna,

487
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:32,879
Speaker 1: I'm writing you this because I'm a little loft and

488
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,240
Speaker 1: just looking for someone to share with. My boyfriend is

489
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:36,919
Speaker 1: eight years older than me. We met when I was

490
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:39,639
Speaker 1: nineteen two years ago. We moved in pretty quickly, and

491
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:41,760
Speaker 1: I've been living with him for just over a year now.

492
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,400
Speaker 1: It was a quick and spontaneous romance. After a few

493
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,639
Speaker 1: months of living together, I started to realize he has

494
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:49,680
Speaker 1: a problem with drinking. He chooses alcohol over me. I've

495
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:52,359
Speaker 1: come home to him drunk, lying He'll even live the

496
00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:54,720
Speaker 1: next day and say he didn't drink. I've started to

497
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:57,040
Speaker 1: lose it. Looking in the trash, his trunk, his bag's

498
00:25:57,080 --> 00:26:00,119
Speaker 1: constantly finding a bottle of whiskey hidden nearly empty. He

499
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:02,119
Speaker 1: says it's hidden because he knows I don't like it,

500
00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:04,160
Speaker 1: and he gets mad and defensive. I guess all I'm

501
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:05,960
Speaker 1: wondering is if you have any advice. I don't want

502
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:07,320
Speaker 1: to give up on him. I love him, but I

503
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:09,080
Speaker 1: don't want to start the rest of my life with

504
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:11,359
Speaker 1: someone who makes me uncomfortable in my own home and

505
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 1: someone who doesn't choose me. That's bad. Why why start

506
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:19,720
Speaker 1: a relationship that way? Well, and that's the thing. It's like,

507
00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:24,560
Speaker 1: it's only your boyfriend, like yeah, ties, yeah, sorry, it's

508
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:26,159
Speaker 1: not going to get any better. Marrying the guy is

509
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:28,639
Speaker 1: not going to make it any better. No, marriage and

510
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:30,439
Speaker 1: kids is just gonna make that way worse. And he's

511
00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:34,359
Speaker 1: gonna keep drinking way, way more and he's already lying

512
00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:37,879
Speaker 1: about it. Yeah, the alliance. That's not good, girl. And

513
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:39,719
Speaker 1: you can't get him help unless he wants help, right,

514
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:44,880
Speaker 1: that's exactly Yeah. Yeah, here's the thing, Like Mariah bring

515
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:47,240
Speaker 1: it up to him and say like, hey, I'm out

516
00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:49,760
Speaker 1: if you don't work on your drinking, and if he

517
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:52,159
Speaker 1: doesn't see that, it's a problem. That's a problem and

518
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:54,600
Speaker 1: you need to be out and you need to walk away. Next,

519
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:58,399
Speaker 1: this is from an anonymous emailer. She says, Hi Jianna

520
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:01,360
Speaker 1: had to work injury. That call with anxiety and panic attacks.

521
00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:03,879
Speaker 1: I was. It was devastating. I went to multiple therapist

522
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:06,080
Speaker 1: and try it really hard to maintain my relationship. My

523
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:08,840
Speaker 1: excellent boyfriend stuck with me the entire time. However, we

524
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 1: stopped having sex due to the medication. We love each

525
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:13,840
Speaker 1: other so much, we are not in love with each other.

526
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:16,560
Speaker 1: He was not giving what I needed. I was constantly

527
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:18,960
Speaker 1: looking forward with other men. Fast forward today, my health

528
00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:21,159
Speaker 1: is on the up. I'm no longer on medication as

529
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:23,280
Speaker 1: of January, and I have an excellent new job. In

530
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:26,480
Speaker 1: terms of my relationship, we are improving a lot of communication. However,

531
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:28,720
Speaker 1: I want to fix what we have In terms of romance.

532
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:31,440
Speaker 1: I'm like you where I want that PDA and attention

533
00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:33,879
Speaker 1: and he's the opposite. I've communicated my needs to him,

534
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:35,359
Speaker 1: and I hope with small steps we can get back

535
00:27:35,359 --> 00:27:37,880
Speaker 1: to a better place. All our friends are married with kids,

536
00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:39,560
Speaker 1: and those are things I want. But I need to

537
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:44,240
Speaker 1: make sure we can bring back that romance. First. Well,

538
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:48,160
Speaker 1: HAD like, uh, that's awesome that you're off medication. I've

539
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:50,480
Speaker 1: been trying to get off my anxiety medication for years

540
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:53,560
Speaker 1: and I still can't. But so that's amazing. I'm glad

541
00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:57,479
Speaker 1: everything's good with you. Um. Yeah, Like I again, I

542
00:27:57,560 --> 00:28:01,960
Speaker 1: love p d A. But I just think communication is

543
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:06,000
Speaker 1: what I would say needs to be better. Um, in

544
00:28:06,119 --> 00:28:09,919
Speaker 1: order to kind of move forward with that. Um, I

545
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:12,840
Speaker 1: was kind of I was talking about that Leslie this morning.

546
00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:16,720
Speaker 1: We were talking about how it's a little odd for

547
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,280
Speaker 1: for me as a woman, and I want it more

548
00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:22,399
Speaker 1: than I love P d A. But again, we have

549
00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 1: different love languages. Um. You know, Catherine's love language, like

550
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:29,960
Speaker 1: my husband's, is acts of service and right and gifts

551
00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:35,200
Speaker 1: and gifts like you know, physical touch isn't her thing.

552
00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:38,480
Speaker 1: I mean, Leslie, yours is. You know, I think mine

553
00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:40,320
Speaker 1: is acts of services as much as I don't would

554
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 1: admit it probably gives to you girls, that's serious quality time. Okay. Yeah,

555
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:48,880
Speaker 1: so I think it's just kind of getting on the

556
00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:50,640
Speaker 1: same page. But when you're not in love with someone,

557
00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:53,440
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know, like it's I feel like

558
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:56,000
Speaker 1: you kind of for me personally, I think you can

559
00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:57,960
Speaker 1: fall in and out of love in a relationship, especially

560
00:28:57,960 --> 00:29:00,240
Speaker 1: if you're married. You've been married for how long to

561
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:02,760
Speaker 1: seventeen years? I mean if you guys kind of gone

562
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:04,440
Speaker 1: in and where you kind of look at him and

563
00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:07,480
Speaker 1: say I don't know. Sure, I don't know that. I've

564
00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:09,320
Speaker 1: never looked him and said I don't know, but I've

565
00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:12,680
Speaker 1: definitely looked at him and say it said, oh, we're

566
00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:15,080
Speaker 1: like it's a roller coaster ride. I'm going to say

567
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:18,280
Speaker 1: that there's peaks and there's valleys, and all I can

568
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:20,160
Speaker 1: say is when you hit that valley, put on your

569
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 1: seatbelt and stay on the ride. But you know, if

570
00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:26,040
Speaker 1: it's this hard and they're not even married yet, it

571
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:29,120
Speaker 1: shouldn't shouldn't be that hard yet, Like, what are your

572
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:32,280
Speaker 1: what are your real issues? You bring kids into the

573
00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:35,920
Speaker 1: mix and that gets hard. Yeah, I just don't think

574
00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:39,760
Speaker 1: it should be hard at this phase. I agree, Okay,

575
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:43,360
Speaker 1: I would go to therapy and get some steps if

576
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:45,560
Speaker 1: she wants to stay in it. It's like there's little

577
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:47,680
Speaker 1: things you can do, like even just reading that book.

578
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 1: And then if not, yeah, and then if not, it's like, Okay,

579
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 1: you guys aren't married, here's you're oute next. Jenny Lynn says, Hey, Jeanna,

580
00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:57,280
Speaker 1: my husband and I have been together for eight years,

581
00:29:57,320 --> 00:30:00,000
Speaker 1: married for six this fall, and we have two beautiful toddlers.

582
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:02,680
Speaker 1: Life looks great from the outside. On the inside, we

583
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:05,200
Speaker 1: are struggling to keep our marriage together. We've been through

584
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:07,800
Speaker 1: three episodes of infidelity, and last summer he decided he

585
00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:10,680
Speaker 1: wanted a divorce. We both started going to counseling. I

586
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:12,760
Speaker 1: definitely want to keep my family together and have the

587
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:14,960
Speaker 1: kind of marriage we both deserve, but I'm struggling to

588
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:17,080
Speaker 1: be receptive to the change. I feel like I'm so

589
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:18,920
Speaker 1: hurt and shut down that I don't even know how

590
00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:20,920
Speaker 1: to put that behind me and walk this new path.

591
00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:22,880
Speaker 1: I want to be the kind of wife he needs,

592
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:24,840
Speaker 1: but I can't put the years of neglect and hurt

593
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:27,200
Speaker 1: out of my mind. I'm fill in an angry place.

594
00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:29,040
Speaker 1: How do I let go and start fresh? How do

595
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:31,440
Speaker 1: I forgive and try to move forward when the trust

596
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:33,880
Speaker 1: is so broken? I would love to hear your experience

597
00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:37,760
Speaker 1: with moving forward and embracing the change personally? Would hurt me?

598
00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 1: From that? Is that he wanted to get out? You

599
00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:44,280
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Would that hurt you? Guys like hearing?

600
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:47,800
Speaker 1: I mean? Is he still wanting to stay? Is he mark?

601
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,720
Speaker 1: What part? It sounds like he agreed to counseling, but

602
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:53,760
Speaker 1: he did make that decision last summer. I wanted divorce,

603
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:55,120
Speaker 1: But now they're going to go through counseling. So I

604
00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:57,160
Speaker 1: feel like that's an effort on his part to save

605
00:30:57,240 --> 00:31:04,080
Speaker 1: this thing. Yeah, but I don't know. I mean, if

606
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:08,080
Speaker 1: he's verbalized that he wants out, you have to maybe

607
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:12,680
Speaker 1: he's was done long before she's done. I both have

608
00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:14,760
Speaker 1: to want it, right. Yeah, And that's the thing that

609
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:18,880
Speaker 1: I'll say about Mike and I. It's you know, there

610
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:22,480
Speaker 1: were Yeah, did I want to divorce him? Did he

611
00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:26,200
Speaker 1: want to divorce me? Um? Yes, well no, well he

612
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:28,480
Speaker 1: wanted to because I was kind of holding jolly against

613
00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:32,280
Speaker 1: him and Catherine's choir right now, Um, but I was

614
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:34,120
Speaker 1: when I was on Dancing with the Stars. But anyways,

615
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:36,960
Speaker 1: we're not going to go there. But I was just

616
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:39,080
Speaker 1: having that moment where I was like, you can't see

617
00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:41,520
Speaker 1: your child, and I knew that was bad anyways, But

618
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 1: he was willing to put the work and I was

619
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:47,080
Speaker 1: willing to put the work in. So that's where like, again,

620
00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:50,320
Speaker 1: it has to be fifty fifty or at least even

621
00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:52,560
Speaker 1: like I mean, if he's the one that's like even

622
00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:54,040
Speaker 1: if you just show up at all. But the fact

623
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:57,880
Speaker 1: that he's like wanting to give up loses me a

624
00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:01,200
Speaker 1: little hope for the situation because if he's the one

625
00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:03,280
Speaker 1: that did the infidelity, and he's the one that doesn't

626
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:06,360
Speaker 1: want to really try. I mean, yes he wants to

627
00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:08,640
Speaker 1: go to accounseling, that's great. But if if he's already

628
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:10,960
Speaker 1: just like I want to divorce, I mean, that's the

629
00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:15,520
Speaker 1: infidelity could have been his exit strategy. Yeah, that's tough.

630
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:19,720
Speaker 1: So I mean, how do you start fresh? I mean

631
00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:21,480
Speaker 1: starting fresh, you guys got to get to a place

632
00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:23,720
Speaker 1: that you guys are both committed to really truly working

633
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:26,960
Speaker 1: on it. And the trust that's broken, I mean it

634
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:32,000
Speaker 1: takes and shoot, we're we're two years past discovery and

635
00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:34,800
Speaker 1: it's still I mean, there's still things that are hard

636
00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:37,720
Speaker 1: to trust. But it's what we call him is there.

637
00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:40,880
Speaker 1: We call him um building blocks. So there's certain things

638
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:42,840
Speaker 1: that he'll do that we'll put a building block up,

639
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:45,120
Speaker 1: and you know, there's things that he's he's torn them

640
00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:47,880
Speaker 1: all down, but he see you slowly build those blocks

641
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:51,840
Speaker 1: back up, and that's what helps you start to trust again.

642
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:54,160
Speaker 1: So if he's able to truly meet you and not

643
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:56,640
Speaker 1: just throw on the towel, then yeah, definitely try. But

644
00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:59,000
Speaker 1: it's going to take. They say it takes three to

645
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:02,880
Speaker 1: five years, and I'll say you know, I'm sure my girls,

646
00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:08,040
Speaker 1: we're wanting me to get divorced when this happened. I

647
00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 1: mean we've we all kind of like pretty much talked

648
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:13,520
Speaker 1: about it where it's like, you know, just divorce him.

649
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:16,600
Speaker 1: But I remember the therapist said, if there's been infidelity

650
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:18,680
Speaker 1: or any big thing that has happened, give it a

651
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:21,800
Speaker 1: year and then reassess. And then so we did. That's

652
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:23,640
Speaker 1: what we did. We gave it a year. We put

653
00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:25,920
Speaker 1: a timeline on it. And then you go back to

654
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:28,440
Speaker 1: that therapist and say, Okay, now, how many months are

655
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:31,520
Speaker 1: you comfortable with? Okay, I'm comfortable with giving you three

656
00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:34,000
Speaker 1: more months, and then you keep building on months and

657
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:36,560
Speaker 1: then you're like, oh, shoot, we're three years. Okay, let's

658
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:39,640
Speaker 1: I'll give you another year or something so you can

659
00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:42,600
Speaker 1: try that. But he's got to be in it. Um.

660
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:45,160
Speaker 1: All right, Well, ladies, thank you so much for coming on.

661
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:47,600
Speaker 1: I really appreciate it. I love you girls. Thank you

662
00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:51,360
Speaker 1: for being always there for me and for being true

663
00:33:51,360 --> 00:34:00,080
Speaker 1: sisters and in life. Bye bye bye. Okay, So I

664
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:01,760
Speaker 1: want to talk to you about quip. The truth is

665
00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:04,800
Speaker 1: most of us are brushing our teeth wrong, not long enough.

666
00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:06,360
Speaker 1: Do you know that you have to brush your teeth

667
00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:08,279
Speaker 1: for two minutes. Well, here's the thing. Quip has a

668
00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:11,640
Speaker 1: timer on it. It's so amazing. It's electric toothbrush that's

669
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:15,040
Speaker 1: a fraction of the cost of bulk gear brushes. It's

670
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:16,960
Speaker 1: really cute too. It's rose gold and I love it

671
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:19,160
Speaker 1: because it also has a really cute traveling case with

672
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:21,360
Speaker 1: the two and when you're not traveling, all you have

673
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:23,600
Speaker 1: to do is stick it to your window. Boom. It's

674
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:27,280
Speaker 1: the best. The Quip subscription plans are for your health,

675
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:29,680
Speaker 1: not just convenience. They deliver new brush heads on a

676
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:33,160
Speaker 1: dentist recommended schedule every three months for just five dollars,

677
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:37,080
Speaker 1: including free shipping worldwide. Quip also comes with amount Like

678
00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:39,000
Speaker 1: I was telling you guys, it's suctions right to your

679
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:41,640
Speaker 1: mirror and unsticks. There's a cover for your hygienic travel,

680
00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:45,160
Speaker 1: which is amazing. And also Oprah had it on her

681
00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:48,120
Speaker 1: Oprah's Oh list. So, like I said, if Oprah says jump,

682
00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:51,320
Speaker 1: I jump. So she uses a stothbrush, I'm going to

683
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:54,960
Speaker 1: use this toothbrush. Quip starts at just twenty and if

684
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,839
Speaker 1: you go to get quip dot com slash Janner right now,

685
00:34:57,880 --> 00:35:00,920
Speaker 1: you'll get your first refill pack free with a Quip

686
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:04,680
Speaker 1: Electric toothbrush. That's your first rephill pack free at get

687
00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:11,640
Speaker 1: quip dot com. Slash Jama all right, we are. I

688
00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:15,400
Speaker 1: am here now with my girl, Kristen Breast. I am

689
00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:17,480
Speaker 1: just so in love with you. It's not even funny.

690
00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:19,640
Speaker 1: I know it's a little sick name, like do you

691
00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:23,000
Speaker 1: care about me? Would you like to say you? Preston

692
00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:26,400
Speaker 1: is Preston is my husband and he is half of

693
00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:29,360
Speaker 1: the duo low Cash Country singing one of their songs.

694
00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:35,320
Speaker 1: Some of us promote records and records. Um, so, Chris

695
00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:39,600
Speaker 1: and I are soul mates. We met about two and

696
00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:42,520
Speaker 1: a half years ago. Yeah, at least at least three

697
00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:46,279
Speaker 1: maybe three years ago the girls were here. Yeah, before

698
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:49,720
Speaker 1: the girls. Um, she has a beautiful daughter named Love

699
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:54,240
Speaker 1: who is just stunning. Well take stunning to new stunning.

700
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:58,560
Speaker 1: Jolie is amazing. That's very sweet. Thank you. Built in besties, Yes,

701
00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:02,200
Speaker 1: they're built in besties. Love is she's almost once, she's

702
00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:06,040
Speaker 1: gonna be three January. And I see a very large

703
00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:10,239
Speaker 1: bump right now. It's a big bump. How many weeks

704
00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:13,400
Speaker 1: are you? Thirty three? Thirty three weeks? And so your

705
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:16,319
Speaker 1: due date is like in no time. Yeah, middle of

706
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:21,480
Speaker 1: the hot, hot summer. Yeah, I know, the January baby

707
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:24,400
Speaker 1: was a way better idea. Yeah, I mashed the potatoes

708
00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:29,480
Speaker 1: and big sweaters. So my my connection with christ and

709
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:31,200
Speaker 1: why I love her so much not only because she's

710
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:34,960
Speaker 1: from Michigan, but her heart is so pure and we

711
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:40,279
Speaker 1: really relate to each other because we have both suffered miscarriages. Um,

712
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:47,280
Speaker 1: are we gonna cry today? About to come over me already? Okay, Um,

713
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:50,319
Speaker 1: I you had your would you like to explain that

714
00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:57,520
Speaker 1: your miscarriage story? Yeah? We Um, we had love bug. Really.

715
00:36:57,880 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 1: I always hate saying this because it seemed so not fair.

716
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:04,719
Speaker 1: But she was our first try pregnancy. I didn't even

717
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:09,359
Speaker 1: know that. Yeah, Um, just really easy. I worked up

718
00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:12,920
Speaker 1: until I mean my do date. I had a very

719
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:18,120
Speaker 1: easy delivery. So when we um, we weren't trying for

720
00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:21,680
Speaker 1: a second. Also feel spoiled in saying that, but um,

721
00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:26,480
Speaker 1: weren't not trying, so it was fine. Um, and you

722
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:28,759
Speaker 1: just kind of had this at least we had this

723
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:32,040
Speaker 1: kind of confidence, like reigning chaps, like we've already done

724
00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:34,920
Speaker 1: this one. This is you know, so when you know

725
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:37,200
Speaker 1: what to expect when you go into an ultrasound room,

726
00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:39,120
Speaker 1: and you know what you think you're going to see.

727
00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:42,560
Speaker 1: It's just a whole different world when you walk in

728
00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:46,160
Speaker 1: and it's not what you thought you'd see. So it

729
00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:50,360
Speaker 1: was our second baby. We would have been nine weeks

730
00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:54,200
Speaker 1: at the ultrasound, but the baby was measuring small, like

731
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:57,520
Speaker 1: six weeks, six weeks, and I'm pretty O c D

732
00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:59,880
Speaker 1: with the app, like I'm pretty on top of it

733
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:03,560
Speaker 1: to expect up. Um, well, it's like my period app.

734
00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:07,040
Speaker 1: So I tracked everything. I got it. Yeah, it's anyone

735
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:10,759
Speaker 1: wants to know what my love calendar looks like. Um, So,

736
00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:13,960
Speaker 1: I knew how many weeks we were and they were saying, well,

737
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,400
Speaker 1: it looks like it's measuring small, and I'm and you

738
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:18,640
Speaker 1: could just kind of see it come over the technician's

739
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:25,439
Speaker 1: face and I knew, you know, like you know, it's

740
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:29,960
Speaker 1: not six weeks, but you're also just hopefully optimistic. So

741
00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:33,200
Speaker 1: we kind of they kind of gently prepared us for

742
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:37,160
Speaker 1: miscarriage in the first visit, but also we're like, hey,

743
00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:40,279
Speaker 1: you know, if your levels match, maybe it is just

744
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:42,960
Speaker 1: early and maybe you're off, which I knew wasn't the case,

745
00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:45,359
Speaker 1: but I was like, Okay, we're going to be done

746
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:48,480
Speaker 1: worrying and we'll just focus on growing a really positive baby.

747
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:51,520
Speaker 1: So we waited ten days to come back for the

748
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:57,800
Speaker 1: second ultrasound and same same measurement. Yeah, it's still nothing.

749
00:38:57,880 --> 00:39:00,600
Speaker 1: Like I could tell you could see a little baby bean,

750
00:39:00,719 --> 00:39:05,320
Speaker 1: but there was nothing. So we They give you choices,

751
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:08,640
Speaker 1: which I know you know all too much about, And

752
00:39:08,719 --> 00:39:11,880
Speaker 1: that's when I called you because I'm like, so basically,

753
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:16,320
Speaker 1: in that instance, you can either miscarry naturally, you can wait.

754
00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:18,960
Speaker 1: You can wait a miscarry naturally or which is like

755
00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:22,239
Speaker 1: a time bomb. Really it's hard, yeah, because you don't

756
00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:24,920
Speaker 1: know when. Yeah. Or you can do a d n C,

757
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:28,120
Speaker 1: which is they put you under for a little bit

758
00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:34,080
Speaker 1: and they get the embryo out um where you can

759
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:37,719
Speaker 1: take a medicine and do the process. Which one did

760
00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:40,520
Speaker 1: you do again? For a pretty much I had a one.

761
00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:43,439
Speaker 1: I had the three and one method. So we kind

762
00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:47,920
Speaker 1: of wait. We decided we would wait. Oh, we decided

763
00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:51,600
Speaker 1: that waiting was a good idea only because I was like,

764
00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:56,320
Speaker 1: foolishly still thinking maybe something. We're a pretty christ centered family,

765
00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:59,440
Speaker 1: so for me, I'm like, well, you know, God's made

766
00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:01,640
Speaker 1: all of this out of nothing, you know, our whole

767
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:04,920
Speaker 1: world out of nothing. So this baby is his baby,

768
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:09,960
Speaker 1: and he'll just grow it when he wants to grow it. So, um,

769
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:14,000
Speaker 1: we did. We kind of just waited to lose, was

770
00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:16,600
Speaker 1: ultimately what it was. And I had chatted with you,

771
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,359
Speaker 1: which I hate that you knew, but you were like

772
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:24,520
Speaker 1: my grounding force because I didn't. You don't know what

773
00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:28,319
Speaker 1: you don't know. And i'd heard that losing naturally was

774
00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:34,719
Speaker 1: pretty traumatic, and that's probably the most accurate word for it. Um,

775
00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:38,879
Speaker 1: But then how do you pick two objectively go in

776
00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:41,400
Speaker 1: for surgery and just be done with it, you know?

777
00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:45,520
Speaker 1: And I just wasn't. My body was already done growing

778
00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:47,600
Speaker 1: a baby, but my heart was not done growing a baby.

779
00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:53,720
Speaker 1: And so you miscarried at home and President was gone

780
00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:57,239
Speaker 1: out of town. Yeah. Yeah, And that's the other thing.

781
00:40:57,280 --> 00:41:00,120
Speaker 1: You don't know when it's going to happen, So do

782
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:04,920
Speaker 1: you cancel weeks of tour? And and then also in

783
00:41:05,080 --> 00:41:09,320
Speaker 1: our positions like you and I, if you are canceling shows,

784
00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:11,520
Speaker 1: you need to give reasons. And I wasn't prepared to

785
00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:13,799
Speaker 1: tell anyone that we were a pregnant and be that

786
00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:15,400
Speaker 1: we were losing, because I didn't even know how to

787
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:20,279
Speaker 1: write my own brain around that. So and do you

788
00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:23,040
Speaker 1: kind of hold that now against Preston a little bit

789
00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:25,879
Speaker 1: like not not because it's not like he didn't not

790
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:29,080
Speaker 1: want to be there for you, but I mean you essentially.

791
00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:32,080
Speaker 1: I mean that's it's a very lonely feeling, whether they're

792
00:41:32,160 --> 00:41:33,880
Speaker 1: there or not. But then on top of it, not

793
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:39,239
Speaker 1: having him there, I don't. Yeah, it was, um. My

794
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:42,840
Speaker 1: sole advice to most married couples is to just be

795
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:47,040
Speaker 1: with each other. He couldn't know any different. I couldn't

796
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:50,080
Speaker 1: know any different now, knowing what we know, he has

797
00:41:50,120 --> 00:41:52,640
Speaker 1: said the sentence to me, I'm sorry I wasn't there,

798
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:56,279
Speaker 1: and I would change that a million times, which is

799
00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:59,759
Speaker 1: what I needed. But at the time, you are so

800
00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:02,080
Speaker 1: you're so in your own body, like I can't even

801
00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:04,680
Speaker 1: really describe it, and I hate that way. Too many

802
00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:09,319
Speaker 1: people listening to this no exactly that feeling. Um, but

803
00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:12,200
Speaker 1: it's a lot. And I will say We've had a

804
00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:15,439
Speaker 1: friend just recently that lost and her husband travels a ton,

805
00:42:16,239 --> 00:42:18,960
Speaker 1: and my advice to her was he needs to get home,

806
00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:23,600
Speaker 1: and I it's you know, I didn't. It's just a

807
00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:26,320
Speaker 1: it's really heavy and you don't make a baby alone,

808
00:42:26,320 --> 00:42:28,000
Speaker 1: so you don't want to lose one alone. It's kind

809
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:31,440
Speaker 1: of where we ended up. I agree with you, but

810
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:35,359
Speaker 1: I think I went through something different. I so I

811
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:38,360
Speaker 1: Mike had to work, and again I wish he was there,

812
00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:42,440
Speaker 1: but for some reason, I just shut down. So I

813
00:42:42,480 --> 00:42:45,239
Speaker 1: had the last one. I had a d n C.

814
00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:49,319
Speaker 1: And I just shut him out completely. I don't know

815
00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:51,880
Speaker 1: what that was, just my way of coping. I wouldn't

816
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:54,080
Speaker 1: talk to him. But it was so unfair to him

817
00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:56,880
Speaker 1: because he's not the only person that, like, I'm not

818
00:42:56,920 --> 00:42:59,400
Speaker 1: the only person that lost. He lost too, but I

819
00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:01,719
Speaker 1: took it selfishly in a way like this was my

820
00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:03,680
Speaker 1: body and I lost a bit and I took it.

821
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:06,320
Speaker 1: I kept thinking it was my fault because I kept losing,

822
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:08,200
Speaker 1: so I was like, this is my fault. There is

823
00:43:08,239 --> 00:43:11,960
Speaker 1: some sort of really strange guilt of failure, something that

824
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:16,239
Speaker 1: comes which is not fair and it's not real, but

825
00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:19,480
Speaker 1: it's all on us. So it feels that way, and

826
00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:23,440
Speaker 1: I'm with you, like I don't honestly, it's so graphic

827
00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:27,000
Speaker 1: and so horrible that I wouldn't really, in my heart,

828
00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:30,360
Speaker 1: I didn't. I wouldn't want him in our bathroom with me.

829
00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:34,040
Speaker 1: Well that was happening because I don't know that he'd

830
00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:36,040
Speaker 1: ever want more babies, and I don't know that he'd

831
00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:41,200
Speaker 1: honestly like it's a lot um, But I do. I

832
00:43:41,520 --> 00:43:43,880
Speaker 1: know what you're saying, Like you get isolated, and especially

833
00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:49,239
Speaker 1: for our type, is the same pretty independent were from

834
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:52,000
Speaker 1: the d You can take the data, you can take

835
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:55,759
Speaker 1: the garatage, right, we can't take don't mess with either

836
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:58,879
Speaker 1: one of us, and certainly don't mess with the other

837
00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:02,279
Speaker 1: one because we will cut someone on your bath. Yeah,

838
00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:04,239
Speaker 1: but I got really independent, and then I just kind

839
00:44:04,239 --> 00:44:06,520
Speaker 1: of felt like you don't know and it's just a

840
00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:09,640
Speaker 1: ton and I'm it is hard for them, but they

841
00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:13,080
Speaker 1: don't they don't know, Like we know it. I know

842
00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:16,320
Speaker 1: we're because we're growing it. We're we're feeling it. We're

843
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 1: you know, we've we're not drinking wine for it. Yeah,

844
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:22,399
Speaker 1: we're not drinking wine for it. We're puking, we're we're

845
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:24,520
Speaker 1: feeling miserable. Our hormones are all over the place, and

846
00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:26,960
Speaker 1: then our hormones have to reset again and like and

847
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:31,799
Speaker 1: it's a crash when you missed carry the hormone rebound

848
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:34,880
Speaker 1: is like it took us a few months to rebuild

849
00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:38,800
Speaker 1: us from that because I just was like I felt

850
00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:41,400
Speaker 1: not good enough I felt, you know, Yeah, I was

851
00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:44,040
Speaker 1: mad at him, I was mad at myself. I was

852
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:46,680
Speaker 1: mad at what did I do wrong? What's wrong with me?

853
00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:49,120
Speaker 1: And that stress isn't good for you to even think

854
00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:53,240
Speaker 1: about wanting another one? Yeah, So how long did you go? Wait? Then?

855
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:56,480
Speaker 1: A long time we waited. I mean I say a

856
00:44:56,520 --> 00:44:58,879
Speaker 1: long time. For some it might not seem long enough.

857
00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:01,840
Speaker 1: But they told us we could start trying in another

858
00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:03,960
Speaker 1: two months, and I just was not anywhere near ready.

859
00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:08,000
Speaker 1: So we waited almost a year before we tried again.

860
00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:12,759
Speaker 1: And even then, it's not it's a different feeling. You know.

861
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:17,319
Speaker 1: When did you get attached to the baby? I honestly

862
00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:21,800
Speaker 1: took me an embarrassingly long time. Always loving, very nurtury.

863
00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:26,640
Speaker 1: I'm a pretty careber L Woods person anyway, So I

864
00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:29,520
Speaker 1: mean I really love aggressively when I love so. But

865
00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:31,920
Speaker 1: I mean, we wouldn't. We had the a c M

866
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:34,279
Speaker 1: S in April, and so I knew we would have

867
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:37,040
Speaker 1: to announce before that because it looked less party girl

868
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:39,239
Speaker 1: body and more like a baby at that point, and

869
00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:42,120
Speaker 1: I was like, they're gonna bust us. Um. But had

870
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:43,960
Speaker 1: it not been for the a c M S UM

871
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:47,759
Speaker 1: and walking that carpet, which is all great, fun, wonderful thing.

872
00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:50,520
Speaker 1: We probably would have never announced publicly, and I don't

873
00:45:50,560 --> 00:45:56,560
Speaker 1: know if that's just protective or but I definitely had

874
00:45:56,600 --> 00:45:58,360
Speaker 1: to wait till after a twenty week cultures sow in

875
00:45:58,360 --> 00:46:00,360
Speaker 1: the anatomy scam like I needed to see it. I

876
00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:03,279
Speaker 1: needed to I need to see it swallow. I need

877
00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:05,080
Speaker 1: to see it's heartbeat. I wanted to see all the toes.

878
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:08,000
Speaker 1: I mean, I needed everything before. I finally was like, okay,

879
00:46:08,080 --> 00:46:11,879
Speaker 1: we're having this baby right because you just I kept

880
00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:14,840
Speaker 1: describing it as cautiously excited, but that's all I could

881
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:18,680
Speaker 1: really pick. I do feel that way now I'm still

882
00:46:18,960 --> 00:46:21,040
Speaker 1: driving here. I was just like, what if it's gone.

883
00:46:21,040 --> 00:46:22,480
Speaker 1: I think it's gone. I think it's gone right now.

884
00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:24,719
Speaker 1: Like I don't feel nuseious right now. Yeah, if you

885
00:46:24,719 --> 00:46:26,840
Speaker 1: don't feel sick, you're like something's wrong. If you do

886
00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:29,600
Speaker 1: feel sick, something's wrong. Yeah. I debated going to the

887
00:46:29,600 --> 00:46:31,279
Speaker 1: gun my old Ghana college is here, just to be like,

888
00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:32,880
Speaker 1: can I just hear the heartbeat? Because I have this

889
00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:35,640
Speaker 1: like cheap thing that I got from the store to

890
00:46:35,719 --> 00:46:37,520
Speaker 1: kind of like hear the heartbeat, and I can never

891
00:46:37,600 --> 00:46:39,640
Speaker 1: hear it yet. So I'm always like freaking out, like

892
00:46:39,640 --> 00:46:42,280
Speaker 1: it's gone, I go, I went in an embarrassingly amount

893
00:46:42,280 --> 00:46:45,439
Speaker 1: of times. Yeah, but I mean but they were really great.

894
00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:49,360
Speaker 1: My doctor's office is freaking phenomenal, and they just said

895
00:46:49,440 --> 00:46:52,880
Speaker 1: any I mean, honestly, I kind of wanted to propose

896
00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:57,400
Speaker 1: my doctor after we lost. She was just so, it's crazy,

897
00:46:57,480 --> 00:47:02,200
Speaker 1: what women it's I said this. I think I said

898
00:47:02,239 --> 00:47:05,359
Speaker 1: it on the blog that I wrote but miscarried. Would

899
00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:07,040
Speaker 1: always talked about that for a second, because I when

900
00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:12,000
Speaker 1: I miscarried in uh, let's say it was December. I

901
00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:14,040
Speaker 1: I had your blog for a while and I didn't

902
00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:16,640
Speaker 1: know when the right time was. And when I miscarried

903
00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:20,799
Speaker 1: UM in December, I knew that was the right time

904
00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:23,480
Speaker 1: because I didn't have the words and you had every

905
00:47:23,600 --> 00:47:27,359
Speaker 1: single feeling in that that I wanted to say. So,

906
00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:30,080
Speaker 1: if you like, I want to go explain the blog. Yeah,

907
00:47:30,120 --> 00:47:32,480
Speaker 1: I mean we So writing for me has always been

908
00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:35,160
Speaker 1: a passion. It's always been where my heart is. It's

909
00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:38,279
Speaker 1: therapy for me since I was little um. And when

910
00:47:38,280 --> 00:47:41,840
Speaker 1: we lost, I wrote of the loss between six and

911
00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:45,719
Speaker 1: eight weeks after we lost. So I promised myself one

912
00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:48,279
Speaker 1: thing that blog would never change I would never go

913
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:50,719
Speaker 1: in and edit it because it was where I was,

914
00:47:50,920 --> 00:47:54,480
Speaker 1: and I felt like everything I was trying to find

915
00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:57,400
Speaker 1: in those moments of loss, every blog was on the

916
00:47:57,440 --> 00:47:59,359
Speaker 1: other side and it was about the rainbow, and it

917
00:47:59,400 --> 00:48:02,680
Speaker 1: was about and I couldn't find anyone that was exactly

918
00:48:02,680 --> 00:48:06,400
Speaker 1: where I was. So for me writing that whole piece

919
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:09,680
Speaker 1: had to be so someone couldn't I could meet someone

920
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:13,800
Speaker 1: exactly where they were, like you like one and three women,

921
00:48:14,080 --> 00:48:16,360
Speaker 1: you know, but to know that they weren't alone, and

922
00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:21,320
Speaker 1: to know that really crappy parts of it, but also

923
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:25,960
Speaker 1: that you're not by yourself, because it feels really freaking lonely.

924
00:48:26,560 --> 00:48:29,000
Speaker 1: Can you what's the blog name again? Uh? It's I

925
00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:33,239
Speaker 1: titled it what Heaven Takes um and my blog is

926
00:48:33,440 --> 00:48:37,000
Speaker 1: a little bit fancy blog dot com um. So for

927
00:48:37,040 --> 00:48:40,240
Speaker 1: anyone that I've experienced in miscarriage, I promise you those words.

928
00:48:41,400 --> 00:48:44,960
Speaker 1: Uh it's it's exactly what you feel. And for me,

929
00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:47,120
Speaker 1: it made me feel not alone, which is why I

930
00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:49,640
Speaker 1: because I didn't want to publicly announce it, because again,

931
00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:52,359
Speaker 1: I feel like miscarriage is such like a you don't

932
00:48:52,360 --> 00:48:54,280
Speaker 1: you don't talk about it, but I think it needs

933
00:48:54,320 --> 00:48:57,360
Speaker 1: to be because God it's the most lonely, most defeating,

934
00:48:57,480 --> 00:49:01,279
Speaker 1: not good enough feeling and just sad, devastating. Literally, Like

935
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:04,760
Speaker 1: I told someone, I'm like, it's like having a funeral

936
00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:08,560
Speaker 1: without an obituary. It's like it's medical, right, So your

937
00:49:08,560 --> 00:49:11,640
Speaker 1: body is already in this like whirlwind, and on top

938
00:49:11,680 --> 00:49:13,440
Speaker 1: of it, you're mourning the loss of someone that you

939
00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:16,279
Speaker 1: didn't even get to meet, which is just like one

940
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:19,840
Speaker 1: of the worst feelings ever. Do you ever feel guilty

941
00:49:19,880 --> 00:49:23,239
Speaker 1: about because I felt this when I was when we

942
00:49:23,280 --> 00:49:26,640
Speaker 1: announced that we were pregnant and that I had miscarriages,

943
00:49:26,880 --> 00:49:31,960
Speaker 1: I felt guilty for a second, not not talking about

944
00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:34,160
Speaker 1: my losses, but the fact that there are women out

945
00:49:34,160 --> 00:49:36,040
Speaker 1: there that have been trying for years and don't even

946
00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:39,280
Speaker 1: have one child. I am super close with a woman

947
00:49:39,360 --> 00:49:42,560
Speaker 1: who has had several miscarriages and never had a baby.

948
00:49:43,280 --> 00:49:46,279
Speaker 1: I'm actually a couple and two both of them you

949
00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:50,800
Speaker 1: probably know as well. But it's the guilt is unreal.

950
00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:54,280
Speaker 1: Like even when we announced, I was like, these pictures

951
00:49:54,320 --> 00:49:59,000
Speaker 1: have to be sentimental, they have to feel real, they

952
00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:03,560
Speaker 1: because not everybody gets to post a rainbow picture, and

953
00:50:03,680 --> 00:50:06,160
Speaker 1: rainbows look different for everybody. I mean, there's women that

954
00:50:06,200 --> 00:50:09,400
Speaker 1: I know that their rainbow is now adoption or rainbow

955
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:12,239
Speaker 1: baby for those don't know, is a baby after loss yet.

956
00:50:12,960 --> 00:50:16,160
Speaker 1: But again, like it's I I feel bad. I'm like,

957
00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:18,600
Speaker 1: it's like I'm almost waiting for the comments like, oh,

958
00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:20,400
Speaker 1: you don't know what a struggle is because you have

959
00:50:20,480 --> 00:50:23,360
Speaker 1: a beautiful child and I've been waiting for my child.

960
00:50:23,440 --> 00:50:26,480
Speaker 1: You know, are are good friends. Anderson Scott have been

961
00:50:26,480 --> 00:50:28,680
Speaker 1: trying for years and it breaks my heart. That's like,

962
00:50:28,719 --> 00:50:32,239
Speaker 1: these two people are the most beautiful, wonderful people, Like

963
00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:34,400
Speaker 1: I want to be their daughter. I know. I'm like,

964
00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:36,759
Speaker 1: I know, it's like, but they can't. I mean, they've

965
00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:40,120
Speaker 1: tried everything I've asked, I you, I mean literally everything

966
00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:43,080
Speaker 1: and made it far and she's made it to twenty

967
00:50:43,080 --> 00:50:46,560
Speaker 1: weeks and it's heartbreaking. So it's like I in those

968
00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:48,320
Speaker 1: times where I'm like, I hold Jolie and I'm like,

969
00:50:48,360 --> 00:50:50,680
Speaker 1: I'm just so thankful, but there's still that part that

970
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:54,239
Speaker 1: I'm still you know, the guilt to the guilt. Yeah,

971
00:50:54,280 --> 00:50:56,319
Speaker 1: I do feel that. I feel that all of the time,

972
00:50:56,320 --> 00:51:00,440
Speaker 1: and especially after the blog was published and after you

973
00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:02,600
Speaker 1: had posted and I got all these moms. I have

974
00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:06,759
Speaker 1: the most beautiful females in America following me now thanks

975
00:51:06,840 --> 00:51:11,120
Speaker 1: to that blog, and they are like they just I

976
00:51:11,160 --> 00:51:13,360
Speaker 1: feel like they've trusted me with it. And I almost

977
00:51:13,440 --> 00:51:17,400
Speaker 1: felt guilty for even telling, you know, like it feels

978
00:51:17,440 --> 00:51:19,600
Speaker 1: guilty even tell them, because why were you afraid to

979
00:51:19,640 --> 00:51:23,600
Speaker 1: tell me? You're gonna make me cry? I want to

980
00:51:23,640 --> 00:51:25,880
Speaker 1: know why you're afraid to tell me? Because not everybody

981
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:31,200
Speaker 1: gets this. Yeah, you know, you know I because I

982
00:51:31,360 --> 00:51:33,799
Speaker 1: know everybody gets to have the rainbow, Like I know

983
00:51:33,840 --> 00:51:37,160
Speaker 1: what it felt like. I mean, we're I need to

984
00:51:37,200 --> 00:51:41,000
Speaker 1: lock it up. You know. We're part of a duo,

985
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:44,799
Speaker 1: a country duo, and and the other half of our

986
00:51:44,920 --> 00:51:48,080
Speaker 1: duo got pregnant a month after we were pregnant with

987
00:51:48,120 --> 00:51:51,279
Speaker 1: our second and our whole year was celebrating this new

988
00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:53,880
Speaker 1: life that was coming. And I know how that felt

989
00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:56,920
Speaker 1: for me. And it's no one's fault. I mean, truthfully,

990
00:51:58,520 --> 00:52:02,279
Speaker 1: it's no one's fault. And I never I mean this

991
00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:05,280
Speaker 1: from the core of me. Jealousy was never ever it.

992
00:52:05,280 --> 00:52:10,960
Speaker 1: It was just wanting to celebrate. I want every person celebrated,

993
00:52:11,120 --> 00:52:14,000
Speaker 1: you know, but it does not hurt any less to

994
00:52:14,160 --> 00:52:18,960
Speaker 1: watch bellies grow and to walk carpets with a bump,

995
00:52:19,040 --> 00:52:22,160
Speaker 1: and you know that's not your bump, that is, and

996
00:52:22,680 --> 00:52:26,000
Speaker 1: I know that feeling, and it's like, I don't know

997
00:52:26,040 --> 00:52:29,080
Speaker 1: if I'm am I allowed to cuss in here, okay,

998
00:52:29,200 --> 00:52:31,120
Speaker 1: but like you know, it's like, damn it, and then

999
00:52:31,160 --> 00:52:36,120
Speaker 1: I have to I think that's a customer that I've

1000
00:52:36,160 --> 00:52:38,200
Speaker 1: cleaned it up because I'm in toddler mode most of

1001
00:52:38,239 --> 00:52:44,600
Speaker 1: the time, were screwing. It's a great song by everyone

1002
00:52:44,680 --> 00:52:46,440
Speaker 1: to download. I mean, can I plug you on your

1003
00:52:46,440 --> 00:52:50,120
Speaker 1: own podcast? Um, but it is it's a lot like

1004
00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:54,280
Speaker 1: I just hate that and I knew you. Your response

1005
00:52:54,320 --> 00:52:56,239
Speaker 1: to me, though, is what I need everyone to hear

1006
00:52:56,280 --> 00:52:59,920
Speaker 1: because that it's so I had to tell probably full

1007
00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:04,080
Speaker 1: more of my closest girlfriends who had lost within eight

1008
00:53:04,120 --> 00:53:06,560
Speaker 1: to ten weeks of us being pregnant. I felt like

1009
00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:08,840
Speaker 1: everyone around me was losing, and I'm like, this is

1010
00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:11,799
Speaker 1: not fair, you know. And when I wrote to you

1011
00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:14,440
Speaker 1: and was like, I just know how this feels, and

1012
00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:16,440
Speaker 1: I won't be mad at you if you need to

1013
00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:18,520
Speaker 1: take a break from me, because you just everyone handles

1014
00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:20,680
Speaker 1: it differently, you know, And you just wrote I could

1015
00:53:20,719 --> 00:53:22,680
Speaker 1: lose a million babies and still love this one and

1016
00:53:22,760 --> 00:53:25,239
Speaker 1: be so excited for you. And I was like, this

1017
00:53:25,280 --> 00:53:28,319
Speaker 1: is why we're friends. For well, I just I love

1018
00:53:28,400 --> 00:53:30,200
Speaker 1: you and I just I want to be you know.

1019
00:53:30,840 --> 00:53:33,360
Speaker 1: And look, I mean, is it hard to see friends

1020
00:53:33,360 --> 00:53:36,480
Speaker 1: get pregnant after you lost? Yeah, but it's again, like

1021
00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:38,120
Speaker 1: you said, it's not a jealousy thing. It's just like

1022
00:53:38,200 --> 00:53:41,640
Speaker 1: a want, like a like a yearning, like in your heart,

1023
00:53:41,680 --> 00:53:44,680
Speaker 1: like you want it. Um. But the great thing was

1024
00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:46,640
Speaker 1: is when you told me. I was like, hey, Kristen,

1025
00:53:46,880 --> 00:53:53,759
Speaker 1: I'm pregnant. You're like, I'm only like six weeks but yeah,

1026
00:53:53,840 --> 00:53:55,440
Speaker 1: like I love you too, you know what I mean?

1027
00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:56,960
Speaker 1: And then you were you were there for me when

1028
00:53:56,960 --> 00:53:59,280
Speaker 1: I was like, hey, oh my god, I'm getting crampy,

1029
00:53:59,320 --> 00:54:00,879
Speaker 1: like am I lose in it? Like? And you were

1030
00:54:00,960 --> 00:54:02,960
Speaker 1: like there for me too. So I just I love

1031
00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:06,440
Speaker 1: you and I appreciate you sharing your story because and

1032
00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:09,680
Speaker 1: I appreciate your blog. So everybody please say that. Say

1033
00:54:09,680 --> 00:54:13,080
Speaker 1: the address again. It's um a little not like a

1034
00:54:13,120 --> 00:54:16,600
Speaker 1: rapper l I. Oh, it's a little bit fancy blog

1035
00:54:16,640 --> 00:54:19,000
Speaker 1: dot com. Um and a little bit fancy is my

1036
00:54:19,040 --> 00:54:22,120
Speaker 1: Instagram too, so you can link to it from there. Um.

1037
00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:25,239
Speaker 1: But that blog is legitimately raw feelings from six to

1038
00:54:25,239 --> 00:54:27,320
Speaker 1: eight weeks out and I've never I have not edited

1039
00:54:27,360 --> 00:54:29,360
Speaker 1: a word since I wrote it, So I just and

1040
00:54:29,400 --> 00:54:31,279
Speaker 1: I just want to say thank you because when I

1041
00:54:31,280 --> 00:54:33,120
Speaker 1: didn't have the words, you did and there are so

1042
00:54:33,120 --> 00:54:34,879
Speaker 1: many women out there. I mean, I just I get

1043
00:54:34,960 --> 00:54:40,000
Speaker 1: emails and you know, um texts and comments and direct

1044
00:54:40,040 --> 00:54:43,160
Speaker 1: messages just about the struggle and just the fact that

1045
00:54:43,200 --> 00:54:45,799
Speaker 1: we're talking about it is starting a conversation and it's

1046
00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:49,680
Speaker 1: the women should not feel alone. And I want us

1047
00:54:49,719 --> 00:54:51,839
Speaker 1: to own it a little bit more because I will

1048
00:54:51,840 --> 00:54:55,080
Speaker 1: tell you something very special about women that have lost

1049
00:54:55,160 --> 00:54:58,959
Speaker 1: to me is a really raw bravery that we all

1050
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:01,800
Speaker 1: have and our can passion and our look on things

1051
00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:04,120
Speaker 1: is so different, and that is a pretty common thread.

1052
00:55:04,239 --> 00:55:06,440
Speaker 1: I mean, I have a lot of moms that are

1053
00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:08,160
Speaker 1: following me that are still looking for a rainbow and

1054
00:55:08,200 --> 00:55:13,920
Speaker 1: haven't found it yet and still their compassion level their bravery.

1055
00:55:14,080 --> 00:55:16,959
Speaker 1: It's we I wish we could own it a little

1056
00:55:16,960 --> 00:55:20,760
Speaker 1: bit more for ourselves. And I did publish that blog

1057
00:55:20,800 --> 00:55:22,640
Speaker 1: before we found out we were pregnant, and that was

1058
00:55:22,680 --> 00:55:27,879
Speaker 1: important to me too, because I didn't everybody talks about

1059
00:55:27,920 --> 00:55:31,840
Speaker 1: miscarriage when there's a rainbow coming, you know, and so

1060
00:55:31,880 --> 00:55:34,719
Speaker 1: many people are in that spot of not ever knowing

1061
00:55:34,760 --> 00:55:36,919
Speaker 1: if they'll ever have another baby, or if they'll even

1062
00:55:36,960 --> 00:55:43,040
Speaker 1: have one. I know, Okay, So I want to talk

1063
00:55:43,040 --> 00:55:45,479
Speaker 1: to you about Skylar. It's a self care lifestyle brand

1064
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Speaker 1: centered around since they offer consciously crafted, hypolergenic which is huge,

1065
00:55:50,120 --> 00:55:53,520
Speaker 1: fragrance as perfumes and candles, which are my absolute favorite.

1066
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Speaker 1: I'm obsessed with candles. They're made with natural ingredients for

1067
00:55:56,800 --> 00:55:59,360
Speaker 1: yourself and your home with the ultimate goal of supporting

1068
00:55:59,360 --> 00:56:04,200
Speaker 1: and empowering women. Uh, sign me up. They're clean, modern perfumes,

1069
00:56:04,239 --> 00:56:06,960
Speaker 1: are unique light, and they never overpower, so you can

1070
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:10,680
Speaker 1: feel great about splitz ng. So here's the thing. There's

1071
00:56:11,160 --> 00:56:14,960
Speaker 1: a couple amazing sense um Arrow, it's spicy, women's seductive.

1072
00:56:15,040 --> 00:56:18,680
Speaker 1: There's Coral, which is fruity, floral, and flirty Aisle which

1073
00:56:18,719 --> 00:56:22,320
Speaker 1: is clean, dewy and fresh. Meadow Floral, elegant and beautiful

1074
00:56:22,680 --> 00:56:26,000
Speaker 1: meadows my favorite. The perfumes are made from natural ingredients

1075
00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:29,320
Speaker 1: and are free of parabins and other potential harmful chemicals.

1076
00:56:29,640 --> 00:56:32,520
Speaker 1: Hypo argenic for me as a skin safe and non irritating.

1077
00:56:32,719 --> 00:56:37,000
Speaker 1: Skylar is cruelty free, vegan, and never tested on animals.

1078
00:56:37,840 --> 00:56:40,880
Speaker 1: They're consciously crafted with a blend of real flowers, fresh fruit,

1079
00:56:41,120 --> 00:56:44,600
Speaker 1: essential oils, and botanicals to create smooth, natural, in refined

1080
00:56:44,640 --> 00:56:48,080
Speaker 1: sense unlike any other. So here's the thing. For a

1081
00:56:48,160 --> 00:56:51,600
Speaker 1: limited time offer, try the Skylar Sample Palette with free shipping,

1082
00:56:51,719 --> 00:56:54,600
Speaker 1: plus earn a twenty dollar credit towards your next full

1083
00:56:54,600 --> 00:57:02,319
Speaker 1: sized perfume purchase. Visits Skylar dot com slash Jana Hey,

1084
00:57:02,360 --> 00:57:05,840
Speaker 1: mark Um, I need you to read Hope Powell's email please,

1085
00:57:05,960 --> 00:57:07,840
Speaker 1: I would be happy to Hi, Jan I just wanted

1086
00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:09,360
Speaker 1: to start off by saying I love your show and

1087
00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:11,279
Speaker 1: listen to it every Monday. At one topic I would

1088
00:57:11,280 --> 00:57:12,799
Speaker 1: love to hear you touch on and hopes of it

1089
00:57:12,880 --> 00:57:15,040
Speaker 1: helping me is your miscarriage and how you deal with it.

1090
00:57:15,440 --> 00:57:17,960
Speaker 1: I know it's an extremely sensitive subject, and maybe hearing

1091
00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:20,000
Speaker 1: how you cope with it, how to stop blaming yourself

1092
00:57:20,120 --> 00:57:22,240
Speaker 1: or asking all the what ifs, or imagining how different

1093
00:57:22,320 --> 00:57:24,840
Speaker 1: your life could have been, could help me. I experienced

1094
00:57:24,880 --> 00:57:27,520
Speaker 1: a miscarriage myself and keep getting told everything happens for

1095
00:57:27,560 --> 00:57:30,080
Speaker 1: a reason, but I feel like nobody truly understands the

1096
00:57:30,160 --> 00:57:33,640
Speaker 1: hurt until the experience it themselves. I hate that everything

1097
00:57:33,640 --> 00:57:35,400
Speaker 1: happens for a reason. I get it and I preach

1098
00:57:35,480 --> 00:57:37,520
Speaker 1: that to people all the time, but it's a hard

1099
00:57:37,520 --> 00:57:40,080
Speaker 1: thing to hold onto when you lose something well, because

1100
00:57:40,120 --> 00:57:44,080
Speaker 1: you're not just losing something, you're losing a person, you know. Like,

1101
00:57:45,440 --> 00:57:48,400
Speaker 1: So I do have this is all I have. Listen,

1102
00:57:48,440 --> 00:57:52,680
Speaker 1: I have no former form say, I have no brain either.

1103
00:57:52,880 --> 00:57:56,480
Speaker 1: I have no formal title in this other than I

1104
00:57:56,520 --> 00:57:59,200
Speaker 1: tell everyone my PhD is in perspective. And that's just

1105
00:57:59,280 --> 00:58:03,360
Speaker 1: mostly first revival I think at this point. But I

1106
00:58:03,400 --> 00:58:05,840
Speaker 1: think everything happens for a reason is really hard to

1107
00:58:05,880 --> 00:58:11,400
Speaker 1: swallow and a little unfair. I mean, like, you get

1108
00:58:11,400 --> 00:58:13,360
Speaker 1: rear ended, and maybe that happened for a reason, but

1109
00:58:13,400 --> 00:58:15,680
Speaker 1: you don't lose a I don't know. I don't even

1110
00:58:15,680 --> 00:58:18,640
Speaker 1: know if that's even fair. But one thing I have

1111
00:58:18,960 --> 00:58:22,000
Speaker 1: really held on too, and maybe this is helpful, is

1112
00:58:23,480 --> 00:58:26,920
Speaker 1: I do think souls float around us. I do think

1113
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:29,520
Speaker 1: they land when they can land, and we get to

1114
00:58:29,600 --> 00:58:31,320
Speaker 1: keep them when we get to keep them. I think

1115
00:58:31,400 --> 00:58:38,160
Speaker 1: that I've learned I have learned separately, very different learning

1116
00:58:38,760 --> 00:58:44,040
Speaker 1: curves here, but pretty both huge between toddler hood and

1117
00:58:44,080 --> 00:58:45,760
Speaker 1: my two and a half year old probably has taught

1118
00:58:45,760 --> 00:58:48,240
Speaker 1: me just as much as a baby. I never met it.

1119
00:58:48,280 --> 00:58:51,800
Speaker 1: Twelve weeks, so I don't even know if I'm answering

1120
00:58:51,800 --> 00:58:55,160
Speaker 1: the question. My whole point is, what I do rest

1121
00:58:55,240 --> 00:59:02,760
Speaker 1: in is knowing that my little person is in the

1122
00:59:02,800 --> 00:59:07,960
Speaker 1: safest place they can be, and that little soul gets

1123
00:59:07,960 --> 00:59:11,960
Speaker 1: to meet a lot of people that have left before them,

1124
00:59:11,960 --> 00:59:16,120
Speaker 1: which is pretty phenomenal to me. And my biggest with

1125
00:59:16,240 --> 00:59:19,640
Speaker 1: this baby, especially with the Rainbow baby, is that this

1126
00:59:19,680 --> 00:59:23,960
Speaker 1: little Rainbow baby knows exactly what Baby Lion too. That's

1127
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:27,280
Speaker 1: what we call it, baby lion Um, Baby Lion two

1128
00:59:27,320 --> 00:59:29,760
Speaker 1: looks like, and it knows what Jesus looks like. And

1129
00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:32,400
Speaker 1: when I get to meet this baby, I know that

1130
00:59:32,480 --> 00:59:34,200
Speaker 1: it will never be able to tell me, but at

1131
00:59:34,280 --> 00:59:36,840
Speaker 1: least I know it's seen both faces, which is pretty

1132
00:59:36,880 --> 00:59:40,560
Speaker 1: cool to me. Yeah, what about the blaming, because I

1133
00:59:40,560 --> 00:59:42,160
Speaker 1: have a hard time with that. I blame myself all

1134
00:59:42,240 --> 00:59:44,240
Speaker 1: time because I'm like, all right, well, we can conceive,

1135
00:59:44,320 --> 00:59:46,880
Speaker 1: but I keep losing it. It's my body, that's that's about.

1136
00:59:46,880 --> 00:59:50,640
Speaker 1: And that's horrible for you. Yeah, but I don't know.

1137
00:59:50,720 --> 00:59:54,960
Speaker 1: I guess it's just you gotta talk to myself here.

1138
00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:58,760
Speaker 1: But it's we're doing the best we can and some

1139
00:59:58,840 --> 01:00:02,080
Speaker 1: things we just you know, got to be healthy, and

1140
01:00:02,360 --> 01:00:04,000
Speaker 1: I don't even know if I'm at a point where

1141
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:05,680
Speaker 1: I still don't think it's my fault a little bit,

1142
01:00:06,760 --> 01:00:09,440
Speaker 1: you know, like I wish I had some really great,

1143
01:00:10,720 --> 01:00:15,320
Speaker 1: profound thing to say, but I do still feel like

1144
01:00:15,400 --> 01:00:18,240
Speaker 1: maybe it was because we were like whoa, that happened fast,

1145
01:00:18,360 --> 01:00:20,800
Speaker 1: or you know, like part of me still guilt thinking

1146
01:00:21,040 --> 01:00:24,520
Speaker 1: that it is partially my fault or something. It's not.

1147
01:00:25,040 --> 01:00:26,880
Speaker 1: I'll just say that I know, and I can say

1148
01:00:26,920 --> 01:00:28,960
Speaker 1: that you know, I know, I know, but it's still

1149
01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:31,760
Speaker 1: it's still hard. But we're gonna we just need to

1150
01:00:31,880 --> 01:00:35,360
Speaker 1: keep reminding each other. But it's not our faults. It's not,

1151
01:00:35,560 --> 01:00:39,200
Speaker 1: and it really, truthfully, objectively is not. And some souls

1152
01:00:39,200 --> 01:00:42,960
Speaker 1: are just not. Some some of those people teach us

1153
01:00:42,960 --> 01:00:46,440
Speaker 1: stuff before they we never even get to meet them.

1154
01:00:46,720 --> 01:00:49,800
Speaker 1: Just is what it is. Marcolet's do one more from

1155
01:00:49,800 --> 01:00:53,200
Speaker 1: Aaron Galvin. All Right, Aaron Galvin says, Hi, Jianna, I

1156
01:00:53,240 --> 01:00:55,000
Speaker 1: was listening to the episode five of the podcast and

1157
01:00:55,040 --> 01:00:57,560
Speaker 1: heard you mention going through IVF. My husband was recently

1158
01:00:57,600 --> 01:01:00,680
Speaker 1: diagnosed with unexplained the infertility and we will be starting

1159
01:01:00,680 --> 01:01:03,720
Speaker 1: IVF in January. I've been really struggling with the fact

1160
01:01:03,720 --> 01:01:05,880
Speaker 1: that we have to do IVF and the emotional roller

1161
01:01:05,920 --> 01:01:08,480
Speaker 1: coaster I mom since we found out never seems to end.

1162
01:01:09,280 --> 01:01:11,680
Speaker 1: Add a couple of pregnant close friends, and some days

1163
01:01:11,720 --> 01:01:13,920
Speaker 1: I just feel broken and alone. I would love if

1164
01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:15,800
Speaker 1: you could do an episode and infertility in general and

1165
01:01:15,840 --> 01:01:18,200
Speaker 1: all the emotions and ups and downs that go along

1166
01:01:18,240 --> 01:01:23,840
Speaker 1: with it. You never did IVF. To do IVF is tough.

1167
01:01:23,920 --> 01:01:27,040
Speaker 1: I mean, I'll say this, the hormones are really really

1168
01:01:27,120 --> 01:01:30,240
Speaker 1: really hard. But you took progesterone, yes, which is a

1169
01:01:30,320 --> 01:01:33,560
Speaker 1: part of IVF ya um, and I also did progesterone

1170
01:01:33,560 --> 01:01:35,200
Speaker 1: for this one too, But I mean, it's that what

1171
01:01:35,320 --> 01:01:39,160
Speaker 1: progesterone does in general, those hormones are it's intense. It's

1172
01:01:39,400 --> 01:01:42,880
Speaker 1: it's it's very intense. But unfortunately, you know, some women

1173
01:01:42,920 --> 01:01:44,880
Speaker 1: have to go the IVF for out and you know

1174
01:01:44,880 --> 01:01:47,440
Speaker 1: I've I've done, and I've done two cycles of IVF

1175
01:01:47,520 --> 01:01:50,000
Speaker 1: and unfortunately they haven't will they attached. But then I

1176
01:01:50,000 --> 01:01:54,160
Speaker 1: had a chemical loss on both. But it's it's really hard,

1177
01:01:54,200 --> 01:01:55,920
Speaker 1: and you just you need to have a very very

1178
01:01:56,000 --> 01:01:59,840
Speaker 1: very supportive partner. I can't imagine how frustrating that must be.

1179
01:02:00,360 --> 01:02:05,520
Speaker 1: Which part all of it, um, but just the thought

1180
01:02:05,600 --> 01:02:07,760
Speaker 1: that like you've you you're doing you have like a

1181
01:02:07,760 --> 01:02:10,880
Speaker 1: whole team behind a baby, and you've done it, You've

1182
01:02:10,880 --> 01:02:14,400
Speaker 1: lined it up. So Mike has a hard time because

1183
01:02:14,400 --> 01:02:16,360
Speaker 1: he felt like he was playing god and that's what

1184
01:02:16,440 --> 01:02:19,400
Speaker 1: he didn't like. And I and I understand that. But

1185
01:02:19,440 --> 01:02:22,960
Speaker 1: at the same time, like sometimes you just need those chemicals,

1186
01:02:23,080 --> 01:02:28,520
Speaker 1: You need those injections and hormones for your hormones, and

1187
01:02:28,600 --> 01:02:31,200
Speaker 1: some women just need that. And I think the reason

1188
01:02:31,280 --> 01:02:34,360
Speaker 1: I got pregnant was because both times I got pregnant

1189
01:02:34,440 --> 01:02:37,080
Speaker 1: and well, you know, after Jolie was an IVF cycle

1190
01:02:37,120 --> 01:02:40,520
Speaker 1: and then the second one, I I lost my IVF cycle,

1191
01:02:40,560 --> 01:02:41,960
Speaker 1: and then I got pregnant with this baby. So I

1192
01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:45,880
Speaker 1: don't know if my body just needs that boost or boost.

1193
01:02:45,920 --> 01:02:47,280
Speaker 1: But you know what I can just say to you

1194
01:02:47,360 --> 01:02:54,400
Speaker 1: is I just have give yourself grace and and tell

1195
01:02:54,480 --> 01:02:57,200
Speaker 1: your husband to give you some grace to and just

1196
01:02:57,520 --> 01:02:59,720
Speaker 1: warn him that, hey, like my hormones are going to

1197
01:02:59,800 --> 01:03:01,120
Speaker 1: be up and dot and I'm really going to need

1198
01:03:01,160 --> 01:03:03,320
Speaker 1: you to be like rock study for me. Someone has

1199
01:03:03,360 --> 01:03:06,479
Speaker 1: to be even someone has to because none of us, Yeah, listen,

1200
01:03:06,520 --> 01:03:09,080
Speaker 1: none of us are really born, even women were a

1201
01:03:09,080 --> 01:03:11,440
Speaker 1: little and I have. Um. I just put out the

1202
01:03:11,520 --> 01:03:14,760
Speaker 1: video on my YouTube channel today about my IVF journey

1203
01:03:14,920 --> 01:03:19,080
Speaker 1: and it's I mean, I made my husband take some

1204
01:03:19,160 --> 01:03:21,160
Speaker 1: of the like a shot like but not the medicine

1205
01:03:21,160 --> 01:03:23,520
Speaker 1: inside of it. But I it made me feel better

1206
01:03:23,640 --> 01:03:25,520
Speaker 1: like that. He was like, he's like, no, put it

1207
01:03:25,520 --> 01:03:27,040
Speaker 1: in me. I'll show you that it doesn't hurt, you know,

1208
01:03:27,040 --> 01:03:30,240
Speaker 1: because I was scared of the needles. So good dude, Yeah,

1209
01:03:30,280 --> 01:03:32,320
Speaker 1: good dude. But just you know, make sure you have

1210
01:03:32,360 --> 01:03:35,720
Speaker 1: a steady support system. And and I think you know again,

1211
01:03:35,760 --> 01:03:37,880
Speaker 1: I just wish we women would talk more like you

1212
01:03:37,920 --> 01:03:39,880
Speaker 1: said and be sensitive to it. You know. We have

1213
01:03:39,920 --> 01:03:42,360
Speaker 1: a neighbor who I am obsessed with. I adore her,

1214
01:03:43,040 --> 01:03:46,160
Speaker 1: um and they've had two IVF cycles now um they

1215
01:03:46,200 --> 01:03:49,280
Speaker 1: do now have baby Brooks and he is so handsome

1216
01:03:49,400 --> 01:03:53,000
Speaker 1: it's like absurd. Um. But their first loss was three

1217
01:03:53,040 --> 01:03:56,000
Speaker 1: weeks after our loss. And you know, and that's where

1218
01:03:56,000 --> 01:03:58,360
Speaker 1: I go, Okay, And for some reason in my brain

1219
01:03:58,400 --> 01:04:00,640
Speaker 1: I calculated like I'm the one in three, so none

1220
01:04:00,640 --> 01:04:02,439
Speaker 1: of my friends will have to lose because I've lost

1221
01:04:02,480 --> 01:04:06,000
Speaker 1: on our behalf, you know, which is dumb. But you

1222
01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:10,000
Speaker 1: start to learn that miscarriage doesn't discriminate. But it's interesting

1223
01:04:10,040 --> 01:04:14,480
Speaker 1: because they lost on their first IVF. And I've been

1224
01:04:14,560 --> 01:04:18,760
Speaker 1: so careful about how I approach how easily we do

1225
01:04:18,840 --> 01:04:21,600
Speaker 1: get pregnant. I mean, staying pregnant is a different story,

1226
01:04:21,680 --> 01:04:25,120
Speaker 1: but I don't ever take that for granted either, you know.

1227
01:04:25,200 --> 01:04:29,160
Speaker 1: And just to be gentle with each other because she,

1228
01:04:29,480 --> 01:04:32,720
Speaker 1: you know, she lost a baby three weeks after I

1229
01:04:32,760 --> 01:04:35,280
Speaker 1: lost a baby, and now she has this brand new baby,

1230
01:04:35,320 --> 01:04:37,840
Speaker 1: and I have a brand new baby coming, you know,

1231
01:04:38,520 --> 01:04:42,240
Speaker 1: and we've team worked through it and it isn't easy,

1232
01:04:42,560 --> 01:04:45,320
Speaker 1: but we everybody's story is so special and and it's

1233
01:04:45,320 --> 01:04:49,720
Speaker 1: so tender, and every woman's heart is so motherly, whether

1234
01:04:49,760 --> 01:04:52,520
Speaker 1: you're actually a mother or not. We just need to

1235
01:04:52,520 --> 01:04:55,400
Speaker 1: be careful with each other. And then sister, well, thank

1236
01:04:55,440 --> 01:04:57,600
Speaker 1: you for being on the show. I love you so much.

1237
01:04:57,680 --> 01:04:59,800
Speaker 1: And um, you want to go to lunch? I want

1238
01:04:59,800 --> 01:05:03,080
Speaker 1: to all the things perfect all right too, Bregnant women

1239
01:05:03,080 --> 01:05:04,960
Speaker 1: are brought to go have lunch in Nashville. Thanks for

1240
01:05:05,040 --> 01:05:08,680
Speaker 1: winding down with me and my girls here Nashville, y'all,