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Speaker 1: Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio

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Speaker 1: and the Black Effect, And just like that, we're back

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Speaker 1: on the air. Welcome back to yet another Carefully Reckless

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Speaker 1: episode with your Girl just hilarious. Now I'm fixing mess

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Speaker 1: from day on and day out. I will be fixing

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Speaker 1: mess for the rest of the season, and y'all are

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Speaker 1: sending me more of it and I love it. So

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Speaker 1: we're just gonna jump right in. We have a voice memo,

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Speaker 1: I say. Somebody took advantage of that to Yes, I

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Speaker 1: love it. What you got to say. Me and my boyfriend,

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Speaker 1: we've kind of been dealing with each other since I

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Speaker 1: was sixteen, he was eighteen. He got a baby. We're

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Speaker 1: dealing with each other for three years, had a baby,

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Speaker 1: and then we fell out and didn't talk for a year,

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Speaker 1: and now we've been back together for a year and

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Speaker 1: then had another baby at all. When we got back

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Speaker 1: together a year ago, he told me that he was

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Speaker 1: done with the bullshit. He wanted to be with me

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Speaker 1: and only and he loved me. He was in love

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Speaker 1: with me. He was gonna trying his hardest, trying his

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Speaker 1: best to get me and keep me. So he got me,

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Speaker 1: and I felt super secure at first, but lately, since

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Speaker 1: this one situation happened, everything he does has me side

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Speaker 1: eying him, and it's not comfortable because we lived together,

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Speaker 1: we're raising the family together, and I feel like I

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Speaker 1: don't even trust the man that I'm sleeping next to.

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Speaker 1: So I told you I had a baby. When the

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Speaker 1: baby was around one or two months, his phone was

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Speaker 1: in the in the kitchen and lit up, and I've

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Speaker 1: seen that he had missed a call from D. So

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Speaker 1: I'm like, who is D? Because I know everybody that

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Speaker 1: he talks to, and I don't know who the D is.

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Speaker 1: So I look at the call log and I've seen

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Speaker 1: that they had been on the phone the night before

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Speaker 1: for about an hour and the text messages were super dry.

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Speaker 1: So I just asked him, I said, who is D?

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Speaker 1: Like who is this? And he's like, oh, it's just

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Speaker 1: a girl that I used to work with because he

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Speaker 1: used to have this job. He got fired after Christmas.

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Speaker 1: So he said that the girl was a co worker

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Speaker 1: and that you know, it was just talking on the phone,

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Speaker 1: like they had never met up or done anything outside

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Speaker 1: of work for real. So I believed him because, like

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Speaker 1: I said, he made me feel secure and I trusted him,

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Speaker 1: and YadA, YadA, YadA. Come to find out that was

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Speaker 1: all a big, that juicy fucking a lie. When I

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Speaker 1: saw his phone, I was around two months ago. Fast

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Speaker 1: forward to three weeks ago, I lost my debit card.

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Speaker 1: I'm looking at my car and for my debit card,

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Speaker 1: and I opened a little I called the sunglass hatch

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Speaker 1: in the front. Opened the sunglass hatch and I see

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Speaker 1: a piece of paper with a phone number and an

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Speaker 1: address on it. So I'm like, whatse information is this

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Speaker 1: because it wasn't my handwriting, it wasn't my piece of paper.

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Speaker 1: So I put the phone number in cash act and

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Speaker 1: the name comes up and it's the d girl. So

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Speaker 1: I'm like, why does he have her address? If they

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Speaker 1: never did anything outside of work, why would you need

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Speaker 1: her address? So I'm like, okay, I'm to hit her

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Speaker 1: up because if I go to him, he's just gonna

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Speaker 1: keep sucking lying. So I hit her up and I said,

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Speaker 1: this is his girlfriend. You know what's going on with y'all?

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Speaker 1: So she was like, oh, yeah, he's real cool. That

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Speaker 1: was my dog, but we don't We haven't talked in

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Speaker 1: a while, and he used to come over and we

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Speaker 1: were smoking talk so I'm like, come over and smoking

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Speaker 1: talk because I told her, like he said that you

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Speaker 1: were a coworkers sol, what's up? And she was like

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Speaker 1: and um, we never worked together. So I'm like, well,

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Speaker 1: where did you meet him? And she stopped responding, which

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Speaker 1: is fine. So I'm pissed, right, I go up to

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Speaker 1: his job. I get my car. He's like, what's wrong

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Speaker 1: with you? And I basically told him I'm not working

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Speaker 1: with you right now, like you're what was wrong with me?

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Speaker 1: You're my problem, you lie, you cheated, blah blah blah.

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Speaker 1: I'm going off. So I go home. He gets home

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Speaker 1: from work and we're talking about it and he's like,

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Speaker 1: this is what happened. You made me feel this way.

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Speaker 1: So this is what I did. I created the plenty

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Speaker 1: of fishing can because you wouldn't talk to me, and

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Speaker 1: I wanted somebody to talk to me and give me

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Speaker 1: some attention. I'm like, how am I supposed to trust

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Speaker 1: that you want physically cheat on me? Would have one

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Speaker 1: day I decided not to have sex with you for

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Speaker 1: a month or two, You're gonna go out and cheat,

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Speaker 1: Like that's what you're gonna do. Because if that's the case,

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Speaker 1: if we were going out and getting things from other

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Speaker 1: people who were lacking at each other. Then I would

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Speaker 1: have been gone a long time ago, because you it's

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Speaker 1: there plenty of things that's wrong with you, and I

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Speaker 1: stuck with you and learned to love you how you

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Speaker 1: shouldn't want to be loved anyways. So that was one situation,

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Speaker 1: and then ever since then, I'm just been a side

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Speaker 1: eying him. Like today he left to go to the

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Speaker 1: store and I hear somebody yell out hey, and they

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Speaker 1: said his name was just saying his name is Joe, Hey, Joe.

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Speaker 1: I hear somebody y'all hey Joe from my bedroom window,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't know you were back. So I went

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Speaker 1: out on the balcony and I Loki was looking for

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Speaker 1: his mom because she said she was on the way,

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Speaker 1: so I thought that was her. So I go out

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Speaker 1: on the patio to look and and nobody's there. But

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Speaker 1: he's getting out his brother's car, so I'm like, okay.

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Speaker 1: So he get in the house and I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: who's that that saying hey to you? And he gasped

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Speaker 1: at me. He was like, I don't know what you're

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Speaker 1: talking about. You sound crazy, You're tripping, and nobody saying

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Speaker 1: my name. There was a girl here for door dash

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Speaker 1: and I held the door open for her and she

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Speaker 1: said thank you. I'm like, I definitely heard somebody saying

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Speaker 1: hey Joe, but okay, and he's just like, na, no,

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Speaker 1: you're tripping. I'm like, oh, you didn't see me walk

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Speaker 1: out on the balcony. He's like, nah, I didn't even

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Speaker 1: see you. So that his brother comes over and he's

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Speaker 1: like you he told me about you was mad because

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Speaker 1: he thought I was mad at him, like, oh, you

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Speaker 1: got holes walking around the neighborhood and saying hey, because

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Speaker 1: we just moved here last Wednesday. We've been here. I

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Speaker 1: don't even know what it is, but we just got here.

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Speaker 1: So no, I don't think you got holes all around

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Speaker 1: the neighborhood. That's not what I was thinking. My problem

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Speaker 1: is you gaspling me, trying to make me feel like

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Speaker 1: I'm crazy, that I'm hearing ship when that's not the case.

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Speaker 1: I heard what the funk I heard. You didn't hear it,

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Speaker 1: so all you had to say was I didn't hear

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Speaker 1: that and left it at that. But you wanted to

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Speaker 1: make me feel like I'm crazy, So he told his

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Speaker 1: brother that I was mad, So his brother is like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: he told more you were mad, Um, I saw you

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Speaker 1: come out on the balcony. So I'm like, oh, so,

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Speaker 1: y'all did see me come out on the balcony because

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Speaker 1: he said he didn't see me. He's like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we've definitely see you because I said, look at day shure.

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Speaker 1: So I'm like like, just I don't know what to

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Speaker 1: do because I want to be with him, and like,

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Speaker 1: I don't see us ending. But it's like, um started

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Speaker 1: to get the fucking vibes that I did when I

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Speaker 1: was a teenager dealing with this nigga like and all

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Speaker 1: his bullshit, and I don't like it. It's not comfortable.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to walk around with the attitude because

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Speaker 1: you're pissing me off, Like I don't like that ship.

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Speaker 1: And then we just moved to his hometown, so it's

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Speaker 1: like he knows everybody here and I don't know nobody.

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Speaker 1: I don't talk to my family, I don't talk to

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Speaker 1: my moms. I talked to you with my brother, and

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Speaker 1: I have one friend that lives in Georgia and my

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Speaker 1: brother lives in Charlotte and I'm in Michigan. So it's

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Speaker 1: like I don't have nobody. All I have is him,

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Speaker 1: and he's letting me down big time, like he is

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Speaker 1: letting me down right now. And I don't think he

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Speaker 1: understands that because everything he does needs a justification. He

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Speaker 1: can never just admit I was wrong for that and

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Speaker 1: leave it at that. It has to be justified. So

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Speaker 1: I don't know what to do, Like do I break

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Speaker 1: up with him? Just say fuck it? Because I can't

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Speaker 1: keep living like this. I don't know what to do.

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Speaker 1: Tell me what? Okay? So I definitely understand, baby girl.

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Speaker 1: I want you to calm down because I know, even

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Speaker 1: with you telling me that you were getting worked up,

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Speaker 1: you're very frustrated. You are. I'm not gonna say walk away.

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Speaker 1: I'm still not. I'm still not. Y'all have been together

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Speaker 1: for a while, since y'all were teenagers. Y'all been on

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Speaker 1: and off. I'll say more so on then off. So

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Speaker 1: that's why I'm not telling you just to walk away

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Speaker 1: and just to give up. It's just that you two

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Speaker 1: have known each other and have dealt with each other

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Speaker 1: for so long that I'm not gonna say you guys

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Speaker 1: are growing apart. But sometimes people can mistake growing pains

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Speaker 1: for growing apart. It just seems like that you two

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Speaker 1: may need some time away from each other. Now these days,

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Speaker 1: you can't say that to somebody, you know, a younger couple,

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Speaker 1: they'll automatically think that someone is going to be with

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Speaker 1: someone else when they say, oh, we need to take

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Speaker 1: a break, or you know, the person who initiates the

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Speaker 1: brick has to just be going to funk with somebody else. No,

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Speaker 1: that's still true. That's very valid. Self peace, self joy,

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Speaker 1: self love. Those are three things that are necessary in

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Speaker 1: a relationship because you're still your own individual person. No,

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Speaker 1: you should not be having to walk around with an attitude.

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Speaker 1: But let's figure out what he's going through to you know,

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Speaker 1: I know, I understand. You move to another city for him,

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Speaker 1: another city and state you don't have nobody, so that

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Speaker 1: also plays a part in your frustration as well, on

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Speaker 1: top of dealing with this bumpy road that y'all are

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Speaker 1: on right now. Then you'll have kids together too, so

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Speaker 1: that can also play a part. You have to figure

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Speaker 1: out what's going on with him. Where's his head at?

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Speaker 1: He has friends, he has family, he has a foundation there. Okay,

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Speaker 1: but that doesn't mean he's happy either. That doesn't mean

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Speaker 1: it's not something going on with him mentally? Where is

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Speaker 1: he mentally? Where is he? You have to figure it out.

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Speaker 1: That's just the conversation. But if he's going to sit

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Speaker 1: there and act like you crazy and try to flip

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Speaker 1: everything on you, then that's when you fall all the

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Speaker 1: way the funk back. Even with having children, that's when

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Speaker 1: you fall all the way the funk back. I don't

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Speaker 1: know what your financial status is. I don't know if

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Speaker 1: you have a job or you know whatever, if you

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Speaker 1: are financially stable enough to go get your own place,

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Speaker 1: just to create space between you two to see if

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Speaker 1: this is really meant to be, just to see it's

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Speaker 1: nothing wrong with that. You can't lose anything that you

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Speaker 1: wouldn't have already lost anyway, You understand what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: You can't lose anything by taking a step back from

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Speaker 1: this relationship if you weren't already supposed to lose it.

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Speaker 1: Maybe it's not supposed to be there, Maybe you're not

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Speaker 1: supposed to be there, And I get it. Sometimes you

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Speaker 1: just don't know what to do. I understand. But that's

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Speaker 1: why there has to be solid communication between you and him,

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Speaker 1: and he cannot play these games. He can't. It has

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Speaker 1: to be a reason why. But he can't play these games.

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Speaker 1: If you feel like a man is cheating on you,

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Speaker 1: if you're not an insecure person, most of the time,

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Speaker 1: you're fucking right. Even if you are an insecure person,

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Speaker 1: something had to make you that way. But most of

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Speaker 1: the time, well, a lot of times women get in

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Speaker 1: our heads. We get in our heads and we'll create

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Speaker 1: scenarios that aren't even remotely close to being true just

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Speaker 1: because we haven't caught a person cheating, just because things

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Speaker 1: saying fishy. But I've been wrong many of times. I've

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Speaker 1: been right many of times. And I'm not saying whether

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Speaker 1: you're wrong or right, I'm saying, most of the time,

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Speaker 1: when you feel a person is cheating on you, they are.

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Speaker 1: You've started to give your everything, You even utrooted your

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Speaker 1: life and move to a total different state to be

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Speaker 1: with this man. You don't have friends, you don't have family.

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Speaker 1: That can also be a thing that he's taking advantage

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Speaker 1: of as well, because totally picked up and moved to

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Speaker 1: where he is so he can feel like he's controlling

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Speaker 1: the situation. It's easy for a guy to feel that way.

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Speaker 1: He knows you have no one there but him, and

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Speaker 1: I guess your one friend. But he knows that it's

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Speaker 1: for him solely that you moved, so he already has

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Speaker 1: in his mind that he has controlled you to a

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Speaker 1: certain extent. That's why he does things and say things like, oh,

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Speaker 1: it's because of you. You were doing this, that's why

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Speaker 1: I went to get her number. It was it was

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Speaker 1: that's why you were lacking this. That's why I went

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Speaker 1: here to get it. That's where And you made a

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Speaker 1: valid point. Well, if it was all about what we lack,

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Speaker 1: I would have been left your ass. I stuck with you.

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Speaker 1: You're lacking a lot even now. You've lacked in the past,

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Speaker 1: and I still I still never stepped out on you.

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Speaker 1: I gave you my all, I'm giving you my all,

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Speaker 1: but it's it's draining me now. I'm tired of this ship.

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Speaker 1: So y'all two need to sit down and talk. If

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Speaker 1: you feel like you're not getting any thing, yes you

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Speaker 1: need to up and leave. Yes you do. And I

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Speaker 1: trust that you can do that, and I trust that

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Speaker 1: you will because of the type of woman I feel

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Speaker 1: that you are. Just the way you speak, just the

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Speaker 1: way you tell me your story, I can tell yeah,

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Speaker 1: you have a backbone. You're just in love with a man,

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Speaker 1: that's all. And we can same week for men a

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Speaker 1: lot of times. But no, it's just that we give

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Speaker 1: you are all we expect the same thing. We don't

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Speaker 1: get it. Now we have to act the fucking donkey. Okay,

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Speaker 1: before I move on, I want to ask you something

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Speaker 1: real quick, girl, What fucking year are we in? Why

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Speaker 1: the fuck is bitches right in their numbers and the

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Speaker 1: addresses on papers and sticky notes and they is still

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Speaker 1: leaving them in the car. That's how my father got

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Speaker 1: caught you one time. How the fuck it what from

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Speaker 1: back end? And I'm talking about back in the day?

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Speaker 1: Who is still writing down numbers and addresses? Any fucking

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Speaker 1: lied about that? Girl? Bend as motherfucking co workers two.

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Speaker 1: So keep this ship in the back of your mind.

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say leave. It could be a bumpy

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Speaker 1: road right now. It could be something that he's going through.

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Speaker 1: But don't ignore ship. Don't forget ship. Motherfucker's lie all

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Speaker 1: the time. They lie all the time. That doesn't make

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Speaker 1: it right. But maybe he wasn't sleeping with her. Maybe

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Speaker 1: he wasn't. Maybe that was just somebody that he was

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Speaker 1: getting attention from. Because you were lacking with giving him attention.

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Speaker 1: That still don't make it the funk right. And if

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Speaker 1: he's gonna play around with you and try to flip

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Speaker 1: shit on you and ship like that, then maybe it

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Speaker 1: is time for you to take a step back. That

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Speaker 1: maybe what you need to do check back in with me.

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Speaker 1: Like I said, I don't know you're living situation. I

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Speaker 1: don't know if you are stabilized enough financially to go

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Speaker 1: get your own place just to see what happens with him,

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Speaker 1: you know you. I don't think you need to be

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Speaker 1: in a situation where he feels that you need him

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Speaker 1: so he can do whatever the funk you want to

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Speaker 1: do because you need him. You're not gonna leave him

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Speaker 1: because you're in a whole another city. I don't want

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Speaker 1: him to feel like that. You're a little cripple, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean. And you can't go and fly

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Speaker 1: on your fucking own because you all away in Michigan.

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Speaker 1: You can make a life anywhere for yourself if you're

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Speaker 1: strong enough to do it. You don't need no friends,

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Speaker 1: no family, no nothing. You don't okay, but you need

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Speaker 1: to be in your right mind. You can't let him

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Speaker 1: have everything to do with your mind. You can't okay,

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Speaker 1: so check back in with me. Girl. Now we got

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Speaker 1: a commercial, and if you click off of this podcast,

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Speaker 1: I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen. Moving on,

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Speaker 1: we have another voice note. What's up, Jess. My name

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Speaker 1: is Lamisia Patterson. I'm from the West Side of Chicago.

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Speaker 1: I am twenty nine years old. I don't have a

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Speaker 1: just fix my mass situation. I just really wanted to

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Speaker 1: get on here and applied you for your work. I

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Speaker 1: am a big fan since your Instagram videos, like since

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Speaker 1: your oh YouTube videos like I'm a real, just larious fan.

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Speaker 1: I love you. You're funny as hell, and I just

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Speaker 1: want to be a part of your podcast like shot

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Speaker 1: me out, I love you, put me on an episode

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Speaker 1: to say what that you love me? I love you too.

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Speaker 1: Lamisia not get the funk on ship making me mad?

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Speaker 1: I thought she had something to say. I love you too, girl.

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Speaker 1: Do that ship no more? Now? All right, my bad, y'all,

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Speaker 1: We're moving on to some real ship. Okay, So nobody

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Speaker 1: else sent any voice notes in, but they did write

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Speaker 1: me large paragraphs. So here we go. Hey, jas, my

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Speaker 1: name is John. I am a transgender male female to male.

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Speaker 1: I have known this girl for about two and a

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Speaker 1: half years, and we dated for a bit at the beginning,

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Speaker 1: but she flipped out and started tripping because she didn't

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Speaker 1: believe I was on the phone with my mom. We

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Speaker 1: went back and forth as friends after the fallout, and

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Speaker 1: recently started talking again. I let it be known that

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Speaker 1: we were just friends from the beginning, but she still

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Speaker 1: tried to press a relationship, introduced me as her boyfriend,

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Speaker 1: and called me bay, babe, baby, et cetera. I usually

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Speaker 1: nip it in the bud, but it still happens fast forward.

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Speaker 1: I told her I didn't want to be with her

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Speaker 1: relationship wise, and that she was a great friend and

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Speaker 1: I wanted to keep her as a friend. She got

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Speaker 1: upset and started making it as if I was the

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Speaker 1: bad guy and that I let her on when I

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Speaker 1: made it clear that we were just friends. I want

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Speaker 1: to keep her as a friend, but I don't think

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Speaker 1: she can respect my boundaries. But she is a good

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Speaker 1: goddamn person and I like her dot dot dot as

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Speaker 1: a friend. Oh. I mentioned I was trans because during

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Speaker 1: the argument, after telling her I wanted to be friends,

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Speaker 1: she started addressing me using feminine terms instead of masculine,

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Speaker 1: and that is kind of why I am in a

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Speaker 1: bind because we always make up, But disrespecting my transition

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00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:41,160
Speaker 1: just ain't it. I definitely understand. First of all, I'm

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Speaker 1: going to tell you that I'm absolutely proud and I

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Speaker 1: give you the utmost respect just for telling me that

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Speaker 1: you know you are transgendered. You went from female to male.

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Speaker 1: But let's just start even before we get to her

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00:16:56,000 --> 00:17:00,840
Speaker 1: disrespecting your transition. She seems like a very secure female.

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00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:02,880
Speaker 1: Off the rip. You told her you were on the

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Speaker 1: phone with your mother, and she didn't believe you that

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Speaker 1: she were on the phone with your mother, So something

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00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:11,919
Speaker 1: they're just that's a red flag that she thinks that

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Speaker 1: you would have to lie about being on the phone

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Speaker 1: with your mom. Maybe she's been through some ship and

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Speaker 1: shanet able to trust no damn body. I understand when

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00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:22,920
Speaker 1: people get into arguments, people feel like they have to win.

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Speaker 1: Some people just have to have the last word. Some

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00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:26,800
Speaker 1: people just gotta win. Some people just have to hit

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Speaker 1: below the belt at times and sometimes every time. And

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00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:33,040
Speaker 1: that was wrong for her to do. But that's the

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00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:35,439
Speaker 1: reason I feel that she was doing that. She wanted

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Speaker 1: you to hurt, and that is the only way that

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00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,960
Speaker 1: you could hurt because what other reason would she have

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Speaker 1: to say that she's trying to hurt you, Because I'm

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00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:47,600
Speaker 1: gonna tell you how she feels. Even knowing that you

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00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:50,840
Speaker 1: were born a female and you have transitioned into a male,

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00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:54,280
Speaker 1: she still is in love with you. She is in

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Speaker 1: love with you, knowing every part of you. She's accepting

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Speaker 1: of you, know your transition, and and she just really

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Speaker 1: fell in love with a good person. Because I can

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Speaker 1: see that you are a good person from what I

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Speaker 1: can gather from reading what you sent me. You know,

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Speaker 1: you seem like a really, really good person, and those

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Speaker 1: are hard to come by. She's taking the fact that

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Speaker 1: you only want to be friends with her as rejection,

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00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:19,240
Speaker 1: when she shouldn't even look at it that way. She

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00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,359
Speaker 1: should look, Okay, this man still wants me in his

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Speaker 1: life as a friend, because I obviously I'm still somewhat

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Speaker 1: good of a fucking person. He doesn't want to be

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Speaker 1: with me, But that doesn't mean that I'm not a

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Speaker 1: good person. You're looking at all her attributes, her traits

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00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:36,480
Speaker 1: as a person, her personality, her character, and that says

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00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:39,359
Speaker 1: a lot about her that you even still want to

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00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:42,320
Speaker 1: remain friends with her. You said she was a good person,

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00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:46,080
Speaker 1: but that hurts when you want to be with someone

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Speaker 1: and they're telling you know, I just want you as

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Speaker 1: a friend, you know, because she probably can't figure out

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00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,760
Speaker 1: why the funk she's not good enough. So these are

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00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,719
Speaker 1: just motions that she's probably going through. I've been in

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00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:01,200
Speaker 1: that predicament as well. And if right, that's what it is,

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00:19:01,359 --> 00:19:05,440
Speaker 1: she's just focusing on the negative part of it because

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00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:07,199
Speaker 1: she wants to be in your life, but not as

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Speaker 1: a friend. And and she sounds like the type of

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00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:12,680
Speaker 1: person that if she can't have you, no one can.

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00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:16,240
Speaker 1: That's very toxic and very dangerous. But yeah, this girl

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00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:19,439
Speaker 1: is madly in love with you, and that person is

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00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:23,200
Speaker 1: also dangerous as well. If you can use something against

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00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:26,640
Speaker 1: me that I told you or that you know it's

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00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:29,520
Speaker 1: a sensitive spot for me, then you're a malicious person.

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00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:32,320
Speaker 1: You're vindictive. That says a lot about you. You're very

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00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:34,959
Speaker 1: selfish as well. Why are you trying to hurt me?

400
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:38,760
Speaker 1: What does my my sex change? What does my transition

401
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:42,000
Speaker 1: have to do with me not wanting to be with you?

402
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:45,600
Speaker 1: Why is that even coming up with a negative connotation

403
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:47,920
Speaker 1: behind it? If you love me, why would you use

404
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:51,280
Speaker 1: that against me? So I definitely do understand that part

405
00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:53,960
Speaker 1: of it as well, and that hurts you. I imagine

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00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,760
Speaker 1: that hurts you because this is a woman that you love.

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00:19:56,160 --> 00:20:00,439
Speaker 1: So I never ever ever tell people to sever ties

408
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,480
Speaker 1: with friends or lovers and ship like that, but I

409
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:05,879
Speaker 1: would say take a step back from her because she

410
00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:08,600
Speaker 1: need to deal with her own hurt her own way.

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00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:11,439
Speaker 1: You can't be a punching bag for her just because

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00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:14,040
Speaker 1: you don't want to be with her. Thank you for

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00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,080
Speaker 1: submitting your story. I know that there are even some

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00:20:16,119 --> 00:20:18,720
Speaker 1: things that you left out about her because you don't

415
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:21,440
Speaker 1: even want me to judge her because you still love her.

416
00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,280
Speaker 1: But I know your relationship wasn't all peaches and cream.

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00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:26,320
Speaker 1: I can tell that her mouth get a little slick

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00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:28,400
Speaker 1: and that she may have an attitude problem as well

419
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:32,160
Speaker 1: as need anger management. But you didn't tell me all

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00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:34,800
Speaker 1: that you know, and that's because you still love and

421
00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:36,800
Speaker 1: respect her so much that you ain't even gonna try

422
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:39,000
Speaker 1: to throw no dirt on our name. But that's one

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00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:40,960
Speaker 1: thing that you can't get past. I can tell I

424
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,359
Speaker 1: know it because you did bring that up, that she'll

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00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:46,480
Speaker 1: even refer to you as a female that's her own

426
00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:48,800
Speaker 1: and secure self. She needs to deal with that, Yes,

427
00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:51,280
Speaker 1: you should take a step back from that, honey. You

428
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:54,360
Speaker 1: should and let her come around, because nine times out

429
00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:56,480
Speaker 1: of tense, she's gonna need you before you need her.

430
00:20:57,320 --> 00:21:00,919
Speaker 1: And moving on. Hey, Jess, please help me. I'm twenty

431
00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:03,800
Speaker 1: four and my boyfriend is forty two. We've known each

432
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:07,160
Speaker 1: other for six years and we've been dating almost three years.

433
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:11,480
Speaker 1: Since we've beneficial, he's had a stroke, a heart attack, flatline,

434
00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:15,679
Speaker 1: lost his job and home. Goddamn. I stopped going to

435
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:19,040
Speaker 1: school to get a second job to support us. Right now,

436
00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:23,200
Speaker 1: we're working at waffle house and the pace sucks. I'm

437
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:26,640
Speaker 1: mentally exhausted and physically drained. He pressures me to give

438
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:29,199
Speaker 1: him a baby, but his daughter doesn't even funk with me.

439
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:32,720
Speaker 1: Every time I try to leave, he plays mind games

440
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:35,520
Speaker 1: about how I'm giving up on him, and he doesn't

441
00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:38,480
Speaker 1: want to end up on first forty eight or snapped.

442
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:46,480
Speaker 1: All right, I'm afraid and I'm close to giving up. Okay, sweetheart. Wow,

443
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:51,200
Speaker 1: So you're twenty four and this man is forty fucking two.

444
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:56,479
Speaker 1: Okay for one, that's already a problem. Now. I know

445
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:59,119
Speaker 1: that I date older guys. I know I do, but

446
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:02,840
Speaker 1: that's now you're twenty four, I'm thirty. I'm just starting

447
00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:05,639
Speaker 1: to step into these older niggas, okay, and I'm loving it.

448
00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:08,760
Speaker 1: But back on you, twenty four years old. This man

449
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:12,560
Speaker 1: is forty two years old. Already too big of a

450
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:15,560
Speaker 1: fucking age game. You said you've known him for six years,

451
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:18,800
Speaker 1: and y'all been dating for almost three years. Okay, since

452
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:22,520
Speaker 1: y'all beneficial. This man has had more health issues than

453
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:25,040
Speaker 1: a little bit. Now, I'm not coming at him for that.

454
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:28,680
Speaker 1: That's something that he can't change, and I understand that. However,

455
00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:32,200
Speaker 1: that's what happened when you get up there in age, okay.

456
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:35,160
Speaker 1: And that's also what happens when you live a hard

457
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:39,440
Speaker 1: fucking life. And that's also what happens when Carma catch

458
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:42,320
Speaker 1: up to that ass. All Right, I'm just gonna say that,

459
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:46,159
Speaker 1: and we're gonna move on. He'd lost his job, he flatlined,

460
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,399
Speaker 1: he had a heart attack, a fucking stroke. All this,

461
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:54,640
Speaker 1: you stopped going to school. You a baby young enough

462
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:57,080
Speaker 1: to be his daughter. You'll stop going to school to

463
00:22:57,200 --> 00:23:00,840
Speaker 1: support y'all. What man in his right mind gonna let

464
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:05,760
Speaker 1: his girlfriend do that? What real fucking man, man, I

465
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:09,520
Speaker 1: put a d on end with real fucking man gonna

466
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:11,879
Speaker 1: let you do that. What real man gonna let you

467
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,520
Speaker 1: drop out of school? Baby, let's just start here. I'm

468
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:17,159
Speaker 1: gonna help you realize you're worth like this. Who in

469
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:20,399
Speaker 1: the right mind gonna let their girlfriend drop out of

470
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,280
Speaker 1: school to help them? Now, this niggna went from all

471
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:26,440
Speaker 1: that he was and you don't went from school. So

472
00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:29,240
Speaker 1: now both of y'all working at the motherfucking wifele house,

473
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:32,600
Speaker 1: and the pace sucks. You goddamn right, it sucks for

474
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:36,840
Speaker 1: a forty two year old, it better suck. You're twenty four.

475
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:39,400
Speaker 1: You still need to be in school. You know, ain't

476
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:41,119
Speaker 1: nothing wrong with you work in a wiffle house, but

477
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:43,520
Speaker 1: not with your forty two year old boyfriend who ain't

478
00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:47,040
Speaker 1: doing ship but depending on you. You're mentally exhausted and

479
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:50,879
Speaker 1: you're too fucking young to be. You're physically drained, and

480
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:54,200
Speaker 1: you're too fucking young to be. You're letting this man

481
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:57,120
Speaker 1: physically drain you. And now he talked about he want

482
00:23:57,160 --> 00:24:00,200
Speaker 1: to fucking baby. You dropped out of school. You work

483
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:03,440
Speaker 1: at the waffle house with him, and he's pressuring you

484
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:07,480
Speaker 1: for a baby, but his other grown ass daughter don't

485
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:10,399
Speaker 1: even funk with. Oh, I'm getting it. Now you're saying

486
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:13,600
Speaker 1: his daughter don't even funk with him? Not you. Okay,

487
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:15,800
Speaker 1: So we got one child that don't even funk with him,

488
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:18,480
Speaker 1: but he's pressuring another child. Who was you to give

489
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:23,200
Speaker 1: him a baby? Okay? All Kelly, Damn. He plays mind

490
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:27,000
Speaker 1: games with you because he knows he can control you.

491
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,560
Speaker 1: You've been letting him do this. He got you to

492
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:33,159
Speaker 1: quit school to help support him, so he already know

493
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:38,080
Speaker 1: he has control over you. He controls you. Where is

494
00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:41,320
Speaker 1: your father? I would love to know? Where's your mom?

495
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:43,800
Speaker 1: Do you have older brothers? I want to know more

496
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:48,000
Speaker 1: about you, because how did you get here? And them

497
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:51,600
Speaker 1: little jokes that he says, You know, I ain't trying

498
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:53,640
Speaker 1: to end up on first forty eight or snap. Sometimes

499
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:57,480
Speaker 1: they ain't playing about that. Sometimes they ain't jokes. He

500
00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:00,640
Speaker 1: might be dead as serious about that. And now you're afraid,

501
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:04,440
Speaker 1: but you're close to giving up. Oh my god, I'm

502
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:07,440
Speaker 1: afraid that nothing that I can say will even help you.

503
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:10,600
Speaker 1: It won't even get through to you. I'm afraid of that.

504
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:12,840
Speaker 1: I really hope it does, though. I feel like you

505
00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 1: need to get the funk out. I don't care how

506
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:17,920
Speaker 1: you do it, but you need to get out. Has

507
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:20,119
Speaker 1: he ever put his hands on you before or are

508
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:22,760
Speaker 1: these just a little harmless threats that he says when

509
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:25,359
Speaker 1: you say you're gonna leave. I don't know, but I

510
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:28,080
Speaker 1: know you're smart, and I feel like you can figure

511
00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:30,440
Speaker 1: out a way to get the funk out without ending

512
00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:33,440
Speaker 1: up dead or ending up a victim of domestic abuse.

513
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,359
Speaker 1: I feel that you can get out. You're young, and

514
00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:39,000
Speaker 1: with all these strokes and all the attacks and flatlines,

515
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:40,679
Speaker 1: that motherfucker might not be able to catch you, so

516
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:44,240
Speaker 1: you might can leave while he's looking ship. Let me know,

517
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:47,240
Speaker 1: because this pisces me off. This pisses me to funk off,

518
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:50,360
Speaker 1: and I want to ask you. Are you from New Orleans?

519
00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:53,360
Speaker 1: And is that where you live? Just reading your Instagram name,

520
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:55,960
Speaker 1: I think that's where you may be, but let me know.

521
00:25:56,119 --> 00:25:58,840
Speaker 1: Check back in with me, because no young girl deserves this,

522
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:01,240
Speaker 1: but I want to know more about you and how

523
00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:04,040
Speaker 1: the funk did you even get here? And we're gonna

524
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:06,600
Speaker 1: end the episode on that note, y'all, thank you for

525
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:10,160
Speaker 1: tuning in. These three stories got me and my goddamn feelings.

526
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:13,760
Speaker 1: Um again, feel free to send in voice notes telling

527
00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:15,479
Speaker 1: me your story so I don't have to read it

528
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:18,040
Speaker 1: or get it wrong or I would love to hear

529
00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:21,120
Speaker 1: your your voices. Guys. When y'are telling me these stories,

530
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:24,240
Speaker 1: it means so much more to me. Again, you never

531
00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:25,920
Speaker 1: have to say your name, you never have to tell

532
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:28,359
Speaker 1: me your significant other's name. You don't even have to

533
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:31,200
Speaker 1: tell me how old you are and where you're from.

534
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:33,679
Speaker 1: This is a safe space. I want everybody to feel

535
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:36,119
Speaker 1: that they are safe telling just their mess. And I

536
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:38,400
Speaker 1: want you all to feel like I can help you.

537
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 1: And when I can't, I'm gonna let you know. But

538
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:45,040
Speaker 1: until then, make sure you send in all of your feedback.

539
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:47,840
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you, thank you. Also tuned into Reckless

540
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:50,560
Speaker 1: Discussions tonight at seven pm. I'm so sorry that we

541
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:53,200
Speaker 1: have to take a hiatus. Last week your girl was sick.

542
00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:55,800
Speaker 1: I ended up not having COVID or monkey pox. I

543
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:57,880
Speaker 1: thank God because God is good and all the time

544
00:26:57,920 --> 00:26:59,359
Speaker 1: he is good. I think I said it wrong, but

545
00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:02,800
Speaker 1: either way, he he's good. Tune in every Wednesday at

546
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:06,439
Speaker 1: seven am to Carefully Reckless and in my deepest pan boys, peace.

547
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:20,760
Speaker 1: Carefully Reckless is a production of I Heart Radio and

548
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:23,760
Speaker 1: The Black Effect. For more podcasts from I Heart Radio,

549
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:27,400
Speaker 1: visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever

550
00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:28,800
Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows,