1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,760 Speaker 1: Today's National Voter Registration Day. If you're right to vote 2 00:00:05,519 --> 00:00:08,960 Speaker 1: means anything to you, please make sure you're registered. Okay, 3 00:00:09,039 --> 00:00:12,800 Speaker 1: there are forty two days until the November third election. 4 00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:15,280 Speaker 1: Go right now to get registered. It only takes a 5 00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:18,720 Speaker 1: couple of minutes. Go to vote dot org. And you 6 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:21,280 Speaker 1: can also get your dates when you can early vote 7 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:23,920 Speaker 1: in your state. All right, please do that today. This 8 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:28,600 Speaker 1: is National Voter Registration Day. Vote dot org. Oh go, yeah, yeah, 9 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:31,280 Speaker 1: all right. We're gonna switch gears here because it's time 10 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:34,360 Speaker 1: now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need advice 11 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:38,360 Speaker 1: on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more, please submit 12 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:41,920 Speaker 1: your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and click 13 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:45,640 Speaker 1: submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live 14 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:47,680 Speaker 1: on the air, just like we're gonna read this one 15 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:51,080 Speaker 1: right here, right now. Buckle up and hold on tight. 16 00:00:51,159 --> 00:00:55,040 Speaker 1: We got it for you here. It is the Strawberry Letter. Subject. 17 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:59,400 Speaker 1: When I say crazy, I mean crazy. What'd you say, Steve? 18 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:03,520 Speaker 1: I was just saying, oh, all right, here we go. 19 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:06,039 Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a thirty eight year old wife 20 00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:09,240 Speaker 1: and mother of four beautiful daughters. My husband and I 21 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:12,280 Speaker 1: have been together for eighteen years and married for ten. 22 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:15,320 Speaker 1: We have been living separately for the last three years 23 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:18,959 Speaker 1: because my husband accused me of cheating in the craziest way. 24 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,440 Speaker 1: Less than a year after our last daughter was born, 25 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:25,440 Speaker 1: he set up a tape recorder in our home to 26 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:28,640 Speaker 1: catch me cheating. He told me about the recording and 27 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:31,399 Speaker 1: then played the tape from me. All I heard was 28 00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:35,120 Speaker 1: the baby's cooing and the little mermaid playing in the background, 29 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:39,319 Speaker 1: but my husband swore he heard sex sounds on the tape. 30 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,840 Speaker 1: He made copies of the tape and sent them to 31 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:46,319 Speaker 1: his family and a few of our friends. They were 32 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:49,640 Speaker 1: puzzled and advised me to watch him because he appeared 33 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:53,760 Speaker 1: to becoming unhinged. After that, he stopped sleeping and he 34 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:57,520 Speaker 1: started drinking heavily. He told me that our last child 35 00:01:57,680 --> 00:02:01,000 Speaker 1: is not his, and he started argument daily about this 36 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:05,080 Speaker 1: imaginary boyfriend that I had. I was to stay at 37 00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:07,280 Speaker 1: home mom at the time, so he never wanted me 38 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:10,640 Speaker 1: to leave the house, and if I did leave, he 39 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:13,720 Speaker 1: would sniff my clothes for traces of cologne when I 40 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:16,960 Speaker 1: got home. I eventually called his mom and told her 41 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,320 Speaker 1: to come and get him. Because my older daughters were 42 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:22,680 Speaker 1: afraid of his erratic behavior since he's been living with 43 00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:26,160 Speaker 1: his mom. He lost his job, got arrested, and was 44 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:29,640 Speaker 1: in legal trouble for a while. That was two years ago, 45 00:02:29,919 --> 00:02:32,200 Speaker 1: and now he's back on his feet and has been 46 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:35,320 Speaker 1: in counseling for three months. He wants to come back home, 47 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:39,079 Speaker 1: but my daughters don't necessarily want him to. They are 48 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:42,720 Speaker 1: enjoying the peace and stability without him. Am I crazy 49 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:48,360 Speaker 1: to even consider taking his paranoid behind back, Please advise girl, 50 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:51,880 Speaker 1: not without some serious medical help, Okay from a board 51 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:58,640 Speaker 1: certified psychologist or psychiatrist. Because I just say this because 52 00:02:58,639 --> 00:03:01,079 Speaker 1: of his daughters and how they deal. If his own 53 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:03,519 Speaker 1: daughters don't want him back in the house, I think 54 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:06,280 Speaker 1: this is a major problem. I mean, they are afraid 55 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:10,760 Speaker 1: of him. That's not good. He's their dad. The good 56 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:13,600 Speaker 1: news in this letter, I will say, is that that 57 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:16,519 Speaker 1: was two years ago, and after living with his mom, 58 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:19,960 Speaker 1: losing his job, like he's say in the letter, getting arrested, 59 00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:23,640 Speaker 1: being in legal trouble, he's back on his feet and 60 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:28,000 Speaker 1: has been in counseling for three months. So I would 61 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:31,840 Speaker 1: say this, there's hope. There might be a glimmer of hope, 62 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:33,720 Speaker 1: a light at the end of the tunnel or something. 63 00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:36,920 Speaker 1: But I wouldn't let him back in the house with 64 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:39,440 Speaker 1: just three months of counseling. I mean, remember, come on, 65 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,480 Speaker 1: this man was sniffing your clothes. He sent out tapes 66 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 1: to your family and friends. Even you know they advised 67 00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:50,920 Speaker 1: you to watch him because he appeared to becoming unhinged. 68 00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:54,320 Speaker 1: You gotta take all that to consideration. You know, three 69 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:58,880 Speaker 1: months of counseling does a whole lot. I just wouldn't 70 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:01,360 Speaker 1: let him in with three months of counseling. I don't 71 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:05,520 Speaker 1: think you should disrupt your peaceful and stable home right 72 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:11,200 Speaker 1: now without some serious intervention from professionals. And let me 73 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:13,600 Speaker 1: remind you that he wants to come back, and this 74 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:16,840 Speaker 1: is not about what he wants. This is about you 75 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:19,880 Speaker 1: and the safety of your home, Okay, and your kids. 76 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:25,359 Speaker 1: That's what I say, Steve, Well, this is gonna be 77 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:28,599 Speaker 1: an interesting take on him. Just thirty eight year old wife, 78 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:33,880 Speaker 1: mother four beautiful daughters. I've been together for eighteen years 79 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:39,320 Speaker 1: with your husband married ten They've been living separated for 80 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:41,880 Speaker 1: the last three years to three years. They ain't been 81 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:47,000 Speaker 1: together three years. That's a long time. Because your husband 82 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:50,640 Speaker 1: accused you of cheating in the craziest way. After the 83 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:53,520 Speaker 1: last daughter was born, he set up a tape recorder 84 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:57,159 Speaker 1: in our home to catch me cheating. He told me 85 00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:59,719 Speaker 1: about the recording, then he played the tape for me. 86 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:03,720 Speaker 1: All I heard was babies cooling in the Little Mermaid 87 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:07,960 Speaker 1: playing in the background. All you heard in the tape 88 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:14,000 Speaker 1: was baby cooling. My question to you is, normally, when 89 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:18,920 Speaker 1: y'all do make love, do you cool? My question to 90 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:22,520 Speaker 1: her is, when they do make love, do she cool? 91 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:36,719 Speaker 1: I don't know, baby cool. If you've been doing baby 92 00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:42,000 Speaker 1: talk in his ear, he has a case. If your 93 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:47,920 Speaker 1: specialty ain't been baby talk, then we have a damn problem. Now. 94 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:53,720 Speaker 1: The other thing is when y'all do make love, do 95 00:05:53,839 --> 00:05:58,080 Speaker 1: y'all play cartoon music? Because the Little Mermaid is playing 96 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:03,440 Speaker 1: in the background. Most grown ups like Luther Pee Bow, 97 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:09,039 Speaker 1: you know, Age Town, knocking the boots. You know several 98 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:11,320 Speaker 1: things you could play. You know they thirty eight so 99 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:13,680 Speaker 1: you know what you know? Ain't listening to Joe, They said, 100 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:20,240 Speaker 1: taking my mind. You know all this hip, but y'all 101 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:26,920 Speaker 1: didn't listening to the Little Mermaid. Now your man is crazy. Yeah, 102 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,720 Speaker 1: because he swore he heard sex sounds on the tape. 103 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:32,440 Speaker 1: Then he made copient take send it to his family 104 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:35,640 Speaker 1: and friends. They are called you and say careful, he's 105 00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:41,480 Speaker 1: coming unhead hod. Okay, we'll have part two of Steve's 106 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:46,719 Speaker 1: response coming up at twenty three minutes A. Subjects when 107 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:50,679 Speaker 1: I say crazy, I mean crazy. We'll get back into 108 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:54,919 Speaker 1: it right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show. 109 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:58,520 Speaker 1: All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letters. 110 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:02,479 Speaker 1: Subject When I say crazy, I mean okay. This dude 111 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:05,040 Speaker 1: had lost his rabbit ass mind to put a recorder 112 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:08,400 Speaker 1: in the house. They've been married all these years, eighteen years, 113 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:11,920 Speaker 1: married for ten four beautiful daughters. He didn't decided to 114 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:15,480 Speaker 1: record her and played the tape back all you his 115 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:19,480 Speaker 1: baby cooling and some little mermaids in the background. But 116 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:22,840 Speaker 1: your husband swottered. He heard sex sounds on the tape. 117 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:25,200 Speaker 1: So he made copies of the tape send them to 118 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:29,440 Speaker 1: his family and a few of our friends. They was puzzled. 119 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:33,760 Speaker 1: They advised you to watch him. Be careful, girl, he's 120 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:38,400 Speaker 1: gonna be in the trash man. Something wrong with him. 121 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:44,800 Speaker 1: He's coming unhinged. So after that, he started sleeping. Then 122 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:49,480 Speaker 1: he started drinking heavily. Then he told me that your 123 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:53,720 Speaker 1: last child ain't his. And he started arguments about his 124 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:57,760 Speaker 1: imagine about this, imagine their boyfriend that I had. You 125 00:07:57,920 --> 00:07:59,960 Speaker 1: was a stay at home mom, so he never wanted 126 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:02,000 Speaker 1: you to lead a house. And if he did, he 127 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,800 Speaker 1: would sniff my clothes for traces of cologne when I 128 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:07,640 Speaker 1: got home. Now, let me tell you something, clothes sniffing, 129 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:13,920 Speaker 1: close sniffing is not a trait of somebody who drinks. 130 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:20,720 Speaker 1: This man than got on some drugs. This ain't drinking. 131 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,920 Speaker 1: This is no longer alcohol. And I'm gonna show you 132 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:30,239 Speaker 1: how I noticed he started sniffing. Clones close sniffing ain't drinking. 133 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:38,080 Speaker 1: That's a heavier drug. Now. He eventually called his mom 134 00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:40,600 Speaker 1: and told her to come get him because the older 135 00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:44,839 Speaker 1: daughters were afraid of his erratic behavior. He lost his job, 136 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:49,480 Speaker 1: he got arrested, was in legal trouble for a while. 137 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:54,800 Speaker 1: Them as drugs. That's not alcohol. Alcohol is different. Okay, 138 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:58,400 Speaker 1: And you know this house, sir, because I know alcoholics. 139 00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:03,280 Speaker 1: Oh okay, you're a lot of alcohol. And then I 140 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:09,480 Speaker 1: know a lot of junkies. This is junkie behind here, junkie. 141 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:13,720 Speaker 1: See that was two years ago. Now he back on 142 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:18,280 Speaker 1: his feet. He'd been in counseling for three months counseling junkie, 143 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:25,200 Speaker 1: A alcohol counseling junkie. Oh, this is how you're figuring 144 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:27,880 Speaker 1: that stuff out. O. See, that's how you do it. 145 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:30,480 Speaker 1: He wants to come back home, but my daughters don't 146 00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:33,640 Speaker 1: necessarily want him to. They're enjoy the piece and stability 147 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:36,240 Speaker 1: without him. And I say to you, ma'am, it's been 148 00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:41,040 Speaker 1: three years. Yeah, it's been three years. You've done three 149 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:44,640 Speaker 1: years without this man, and he wants to come back home. 150 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:51,120 Speaker 1: Why what now? What's different? Counsel You need to find 151 00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:53,480 Speaker 1: out about what the counselors for. You need to get 152 00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:57,360 Speaker 1: real serious about this because you're your kids don't even 153 00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:59,720 Speaker 1: want it back. When the children got better sense than 154 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:03,559 Speaker 1: a If the kids don't want to do back in 155 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:08,120 Speaker 1: the house, you have to consider that. You know, am 156 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:12,880 Speaker 1: I crazy to even consider taking his paranoia behind back? Paranoi? 157 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:19,720 Speaker 1: Alcohol does not produce paranoia. He's been on some type 158 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:23,640 Speaker 1: of drugs, lost his job, got into legal trouble. The 159 00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:25,760 Speaker 1: man was on something else. Now I don't know what. 160 00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:28,880 Speaker 1: He didn't put on the weed. You know, it's a substance. 161 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:33,680 Speaker 1: You can sprinkle on the weed. You know, ain't nobody 162 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:37,760 Speaker 1: dropping nothing in drinks, that's a whole nother high. If 163 00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:41,320 Speaker 1: you're sprinkling stuff in a drink, you're on another high. 164 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:44,720 Speaker 1: If you're putting it on the weed, that's a different high. 165 00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:51,920 Speaker 1: If you're taking peels for someone you know a lot. 166 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:56,520 Speaker 1: All my friends have been involved on a regular basis. 167 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:05,960 Speaker 1: I have recovering everything in my life. Everything. Okay, I 168 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:09,160 Speaker 1: got pardners. I can't have a glass of Kanyac ground 169 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:12,240 Speaker 1: with my cigar because they'll lose the rabid ass me. 170 00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:16,520 Speaker 1: Oh dahn, So you're just gonna drink, you know, I'm 171 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,320 Speaker 1: I mean a eight. Okay, Hey dog, I forgot my 172 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:23,240 Speaker 1: bad So I'm just saying I don't know that I'd 173 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:26,720 Speaker 1: be so readily taken back. You've been separated three years. 174 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:30,720 Speaker 1: Three months versus three years is not long enough. I 175 00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:33,480 Speaker 1: would let him come over and visit the kids, of course, 176 00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:37,360 Speaker 1: see how that go for about a year before you 177 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:40,360 Speaker 1: even consider and see if you can get the man back. 178 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:43,400 Speaker 1: But he has to get rid of these thoughts that 179 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,880 Speaker 1: that ain't his child. He got to get rid of 180 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:48,920 Speaker 1: all these thoughts about who you're sleeping with. Because cooling 181 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:52,840 Speaker 1: don't sound a lot like sex. If it's just cooling 182 00:11:52,920 --> 00:12:00,040 Speaker 1: you're not having. That's not an adequate sex. Okay. He 183 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:03,640 Speaker 1: that begs the question, what is adequate sex? What well, 184 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:08,800 Speaker 1: baby clowns are you making? Uh? Huh God, I wanted 185 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:22,160 Speaker 1: pecake man. That's not adequate sex, adequate sexy? Oh no 186 00:12:22,559 --> 00:12:30,080 Speaker 1: you didn't, you black? You really black brandies s? Break 187 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:36,360 Speaker 1: my shock? Hold on, who wait a minute, don't stop, 188 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:40,560 Speaker 1: get it, get it, Come on, big bath and get it. 189 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:47,680 Speaker 1: Wait it, you get caught up. Okay, trick me really 190 00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:56,640 Speaker 1: really back in, streak me like a pancake. That's that's adequate. 191 00:12:56,840 --> 00:13:02,360 Speaker 1: That's when you say it's that's for sure. Yeah, we're 192 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:06,440 Speaker 1: beyond cooing. Now all right, thank you, Steve. Post your 193 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:09,640 Speaker 1: comments on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM on 194 00:13:09,679 --> 00:13:12,640 Speaker 1: Instagram and Facebook, and please check out the Strawberry Letter 195 00:13:12,679 --> 00:13:15,600 Speaker 1: podcast on demand. They're coming up with forty six minutes 196 00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:18,920 Speaker 1: after the hour, Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this, 197 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:22,240 Speaker 1: you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show