Speaker 1: Al Zone Media. Ho Ho Ho, Mary Christmas. Robert Evans here,
Speaker 1: and we had been planning to make a new Come
Speaker 1: episode to give you all a white Christmas this year.
Speaker 1: But you know what I didn't wind up wanting to
Speaker 1: do right during the holidays when we didn't have to work,
Speaker 1: is spend hours researching some other weird Come conspiracies on
Speaker 1: the internet. So we're just going to play the old
Speaker 1: Come episode for you as a rerun. I know that's
Speaker 1: not the most effortful version of our job that I
Speaker 1: could have done this year, but also it's been a
Speaker 1: real shitty year for everybody. So let's just listen to
Speaker 1: an old Come episode and pretend we gave you a
Speaker 1: Newcome episode. Merry Christmas, everybody.
Speaker 2: Dearly beloved, Welcome to it could happen here. We are
Speaker 2: gathered here today to get through this thing called life.
Speaker 2: Electric word life. It's a thing that only happens with
Speaker 2: the addition of a couple of ingredients, and one of
Speaker 2: those ingredients is the subject of our episode today. Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: you guys like that? Everybody really happy with that?
Speaker 3: I love that. Yeah, I'm feeling not at all like
Speaker 3: I want to kind of shower. Okay, can you can.
Speaker 4: You can hear the moment where we're all like simultaneously
Speaker 4: questioning every single decision we've ever made in our entire lives.
Speaker 2: Now we're all bonded together. So how's everybody doing today?
Speaker 2: We've got Miil Wong, Garrison Davis, James Stout, and I
Speaker 2: should let people know I wasn't joking about the come thing.
Speaker 2: So those of you who are too online will know this.
Speaker 2: Those of you who are not online enough, this is
Speaker 2: one of the online things that you will want to
Speaker 2: know because it's very funny. And the gist of it
Speaker 2: is that like four days ago, doctor Jordan B. Peterson
Speaker 2: got sent a link to a Twitter account that is
Speaker 2: that purports to be spreading like hidden news about the
Speaker 2: evils of the Chinese communist regime, and they put out
Speaker 2: a video that was a segment from a British milking
Speaker 2: fetish pornography video. Now, if you're not aware the milking,
Speaker 2: as far as I can tell, I believe it kind
Speaker 2: of descended from the long lineage of like rubber fetishists, right,
Speaker 2: and there's like a lot of medical fetish stuff it
Speaker 2: tied into it. But the idea is that men are
Speaker 2: entirely wrapped up on hospital gurney's and giant pumps sucked
Speaker 2: the semen out of him.
Speaker 3: So milk the machine is very like milk what you
Speaker 3: were used to this.
Speaker 2: This Twitter account put this up, claiming that it was
Speaker 2: the Chinese government stealing the semen of young men, and
Speaker 2: Jordan Peterson shared it saying it was an unbelievable act
Speaker 2: of evil and then everyone had the best day of
Speaker 2: their lives. And an hour of two later he deleted it.
Speaker 4: Now I have been continuing, coward, coward, coward.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so strange, so strange that he left the word
Speaker 3: a pair of view dukid.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's wild that he's no longer professor. It's very funny.
Speaker 2: We're continuing to give him shit for it online, but
Speaker 2: it set us off down an interesting road, and because
Speaker 2: some other stuff fell through, we're going to talk about
Speaker 2: the wide world of weird right wing come conspiracies. Most
Speaker 2: of them are leased, are going to be right wing.
Speaker 2: There's a surprising number of semen based conspiracies. Everybody did
Speaker 2: research on their own special thing. I wanted to start
Speaker 2: by talking about this this Jordan Peterson cum video and
Speaker 2: giving kind of some of the some of the background
Speaker 2: on it so I was. Last July, the Chinese Human
Speaker 2: Sperm Bank of Shanghai announced that it was hosting a
Speaker 2: competition for college students to find out whose semen was
Speaker 2: was the best in terms of, like, you know, a
Speaker 2: number of modal sperm per milli leader, I think is
Speaker 2: the way that they judge it. And basically the idea
Speaker 2: was that they were trying to find like people with
Speaker 2: sperm concentration greater than sixty million per mili leader, and
Speaker 2: if they visited a sperm bank a set number of
Speaker 2: times in a six month period, they could receive a
Speaker 2: prize that was equivalent to about twelve hundred dollars right now.
Speaker 2: The reason this is happening is that China, for the
Speaker 2: first time, as a result of a number of different policies,
Speaker 2: had negative population growth very recently, and this is the
Speaker 2: thing that can cause a problem for a country for
Speaker 2: a variety of reasons. So the government is trying to
Speaker 2: shore up birth rates, and there are a lot of
Speaker 2: couples in China that have had issues conceiving, and so
Speaker 2: there's a huge amount of demand for sperm in the
Speaker 2: country right now. So this is not a weird story.
Speaker 2: It is actually a thing that happens all around the
Speaker 2: world regularly. But right around the time that this happened,
Speaker 2: a little bit after that, it came out that a
Speaker 2: Japanese company started selling what is called in the articles
Speaker 2: I found an automatic sperm extractor to Chinese sperm banks.
Speaker 2: Now this is I'm going to send you all the
Speaker 2: link I was king you would oh oh yes, good friends, thanks,
Speaker 2: but yes, we're all going to see this. So the
Speaker 2: Machines price listing on ali Baba, where it sells for
Speaker 2: about five to six thousand dollars, describes it as a
Speaker 2: device that quote merges modern digital technology, automatic control technology
Speaker 2: and simulation technologies with semen collection and premature ejaculation desensitization
Speaker 2: training function. So it has a number of purposes including
Speaker 2: guess to help guys stop coming too early. Oh, which,
Speaker 2: no shame. It's funny that someone built a machine for it.
Speaker 3: It's extremely funny. I think you can buy on Ali Express.
Speaker 3: It's like I personally, I'm not attaching anything. I bought
Speaker 3: an Ali Baba to sensitive part to.
Speaker 4: My body makes thousand dollars.
Speaker 2: It's not cheap. Now, the primary these are not being
Speaker 2: used for people who are coming too quickly.
Speaker 5: It's just like the worst ever. We're too dtwo this
Speaker 5: it is.
Speaker 2: It is weird.
Speaker 3: What's the orientation? Does it stand on the ground and
Speaker 3: you just approach it?
Speaker 4: You you have to stand up?
Speaker 3: Yeah, but what if you're a shot king.
Speaker 2: I said, I'm sure they have options. It has like
Speaker 2: the rough shape of like HANDHLD massage device, but it's
Speaker 2: kind of like formed like almost an art deco robot vagina.
Speaker 2: And basically from what I've read, kind of the reasoning
Speaker 2: is that, like, hey, we need people to donate sperm.
Speaker 2: Some people feel weird about just masturbating in a clinic,
Speaker 2: and we hope this is a more pleasant experience for them.
Speaker 2: So again this we're laughing because like, look, a machine
Speaker 2: designed to capture seamen is kind of a funny thing.
Speaker 2: That's okay, no shame on anybody for that. But the
Speaker 2: fact that you have both the government trying to encourage
Speaker 2: people to donate sperm and this weird machine kind of
Speaker 2: created fertile ground for a bunch of right wing weirdos
Speaker 2: to start making the ground grounded, I know, fertile ground
Speaker 2: to commit to make the completely ungrounded claim that like
Speaker 2: the government was trying to steal people' seemen right, And
Speaker 2: that is the basis of doctor Jordan B. Peterson's fun
Speaker 2: little freak out on the internet. And I will say
Speaker 2: you should try to find the videos of the automatic
Speaker 2: sperm extractor. This this amazing Japanese machine, because it is funny.
Speaker 2: It is fascinating.
Speaker 3: On the account.
Speaker 5: Do they have to like like like change like I
Speaker 5: assume they changed.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you can't clean that.
Speaker 3: If you watch the video, there's like a there's a
Speaker 3: rub that like h comes out like let's see it.
Speaker 2: The thing that the penis goes in is also the
Speaker 2: captured device, so it is removed with the sperm donation
Speaker 2: when you take it out. So again this is you know,
Speaker 2: funny because come, but there's nothing sinister here. It's just
Speaker 2: in the same way that literally everything is. People have
Speaker 2: like spun it up into a nonsense thing. But because
Speaker 2: of this a full, beautiful story which I hope we've
Speaker 2: all gotten to enjoy. I got to do a lot
Speaker 2: of work on the some of you. If you live,
Speaker 2: if you've worked in agriculture, you're not going to be
Speaker 2: surprised that stealing come is a massive industry, like it
Speaker 2: is a There is a lot of money to be
Speaker 2: made in stealing semen. There's enough money to be made
Speaker 2: in stealing semen that there are two different official terms
Speaker 2: that I have found for semen theft. The first is
Speaker 2: sperm jacking.
Speaker 4: How could it get better? How could it get better
Speaker 4: than that?
Speaker 2: It gets better because the second the second is spurgling.
Speaker 4: These are like professionals who like come up with these terms.
Speaker 2: Huh, these are it's a marketing genius. There actually is.
Speaker 2: I did find in my research there is one actual
Speaker 2: Chinese based sperm conspiracy. It's just not a very sinister one.
Speaker 2: There's this Chinese businessman, Jesse jabet Zoo who stole there.
Speaker 2: There's this I think it was a Canadian company. No,
Speaker 2: it was a US company who had So this is
Speaker 2: for like bull semen. And one of the things that
Speaker 2: you want for bull semen is you don't want if
Speaker 2: you're inceminating cows, you want all of the babies to
Speaker 2: be female generally, right, because bulls are not very with
Speaker 2: outside a certain specific If you're like trying to make
Speaker 2: more breeders or whatever. If you're in industrial agriculture, you
Speaker 2: don't want any of the boys, right. You just want
Speaker 2: to keep making those sweet, sweet lady cows that are,
Speaker 2: you know, more useful to you in a financial sense.
Speaker 2: So there's a US company that developed a method of
Speaker 2: before insemination looking through the sperm and like sorting out
Speaker 2: the sperm that will make female cows. And that is
Speaker 2: apparently hard to do. I mean, it sounds like it
Speaker 2: would be hard to do, right. And this this uh,
Speaker 2: this Chinese businessman was like reverse engineering there. It's kind
Speaker 2: of actually basically the same story as Jurassic Park. And anyway,
Speaker 2: this guy has has gotten sued for a bunch of money.
Speaker 3: He got checked.
Speaker 5: I hope it works out just as well as Jurassic Park.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's very funny. I will say there's a couple
Speaker 2: of really wild lines from this the CBC story I found.
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna read one to you. Zoo's activities could
Speaker 2: best be described as machiavellian. At various points, he outlined
Speaker 2: a plan to make X Y that's the American company
Speaker 2: quote feel all the time, the sort of damocles is
Speaker 2: on their heads and brag the law is strong, but
Speaker 2: the outlaws are ten times stronger.
Speaker 4: Okay this taste.
Speaker 2: Look Jesse Jabez, my hero, the sperm Bandit incredible sperm Jacker,
Speaker 2: one of the bests in the business.
Speaker 3: This man lives on an island with his cow raptors.
Speaker 2: What a hero. There was also a case of a
Speaker 2: Japanese man who illegally took wagyu cattle sperm too China
Speaker 2: to try to give them sperm, and like the Chinese
Speaker 2: government immediately caught him and was like, no, this is
Speaker 2: actually incredibly dangerous, Like you're not allowed to just take
Speaker 2: animal breeding material into the country without because you know,
Speaker 2: there's a wide variety of reasons that that could be
Speaker 2: in horribly So he got in a shipload of trouble. Yeah, anyway,
Speaker 2: that's my that's my sperm stories. Everybody, thank you for yeah,
Speaker 2: thank you, thank you for spurgling my knowledge. Garrison, we're
Speaker 2: back and James is here to talk to us about
Speaker 2: the kind of sperm jacking that you do when you
Speaker 2: don't jack. I'm talking about jacking your own sperm by
Speaker 2: keeping it inside of you seman retention, Yeah, it's how
Speaker 2: is that, James beautiful?
Speaker 4: Unscripted?
Speaker 2: Did you just.
Speaker 6: Write?
Speaker 2: Didn't need to write that, Garrison, So.
Speaker 3: On the back of his hand. He had a brain
Speaker 3: wave at two in the morning and he got that down.
Speaker 2: Those are the kind of things you can do when
Speaker 2: you've been podcasting as long as I.
Speaker 3: Am space for several years.
Speaker 2: I've been in those soggy trenches for a long time.
Speaker 3: Yeah all right, we are, after all, at work, so
Speaker 3: let me continue. So I'm going to talk about what
Speaker 3: happens when you keep your home inside you. Uh yeah,
Speaker 3: this is the thing.
Speaker 4: What are we doing today?
Speaker 3: This is this is critical journalisten. We are making content.
Speaker 3: Talking of content. Let's talk about the content of some
Speaker 3: Reddit posters. So the what's called the semen retention movement,
Speaker 3: and this will this will shock many of you began
Speaker 3: on Reddit dot com. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah,
Speaker 3: like so many one.
Speaker 2: I feel like.
Speaker 3: Reddit.
Speaker 2: I feel like if you type that into your phone,
Speaker 2: it would have finished the sentence the same.
Speaker 4: What is auto directitude to Reddit?
Speaker 3: Believe me, we're going to go there, Garrison, because when
Speaker 3: you google sperm retention, you do indeed find some stuff
Speaker 3: on Reddit. And so now they've spun off from Reddit, right,
Speaker 3: they now have their own organization, which is No Fat
Speaker 3: dot Com and No Fat dot Com is a community
Speaker 3: centered sexual health platform. I'm I'm using I'm allowing them
Speaker 3: to define themselves here, I guess designed to help people
Speaker 3: overcome poorn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior, which is is
Speaker 3: not necessarily really like like the this isn't the like
Speaker 3: not all seamen retention, as we're going to learn, is
Speaker 3: basically helping people become addiction to porn, but so far
Speaker 3: as that is a thing that that people actually have.
Speaker 3: And if someone was accusing Robert of being addicted to
Speaker 3: porn on on his timeline this weekend.
Speaker 2: That would be because he Ratio and Jordan Peterson with
Speaker 2: the Yeah, the pornography video that he mistaking the post
Speaker 2: that's direction. Yeah, yeah, I just want him to respond
Speaker 2: so I could ask him, Jordan, tell me in your
Speaker 2: own words, what you thought was happening in that video.
Speaker 3: I really hope he thinks it's like milking, Like they
Speaker 3: have RFID collars and they get fed based on their
Speaker 3: production level. That would be great.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and what did you you're a medical doctor, did
Speaker 2: you think that cum actually worked that way? You could
Speaker 2: just stick a sucker anyway.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just get it out. Okay. So, after after this
Speaker 3: movement began, I read it dot com. It quickly pivoted
Speaker 3: to kind of offering all kinds of weird physical and
Speaker 3: mental health benefits and that's where it was adopted by friends.
Speaker 3: In the podcast The Proud Boys, luckily, we do have
Speaker 3: a bit of insight into why and into the exact
Speaker 3: nature of the no fat fascism that the Proud Boys
Speaker 3: practice thanks to Kyle Cheney, who's a Politico reporter who
Speaker 3: was reporting on the trial of one of the Proud
Speaker 3: Boys accused of traditional on January sixth, called Zach Rell
Speaker 3: their trial for reasons that I'm not exactly clear on
Speaker 3: the Proud Boy I guess it's like the handbook, like
Speaker 3: that the kind of Proud Boy bibles introduced and uh,
Speaker 3: into the into the record, somebody, yeah in there, Yep,
Speaker 3: it's in the court record, buddy, because because one of
Speaker 3: the lawyers decided that it was pertinent to the case.
Speaker 3: So a Proud Boy may not ejaculate alone more than
Speaker 3: once in every thirty days. That means he must abstained
Speaker 3: from pordography during that time. And if he needs to ejaculate,
Speaker 3: this is really weird, it must be within one yard
Speaker 3: of a woman.
Speaker 2: Fascinatingly, specifically, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: Right, and I like that they've they've gone with imperial
Speaker 3: measurements with her consent, so that's nice. The woman may
Speaker 3: not be a prostitute, so that that's the proud pois nature.
Speaker 3: There no fat fairstuism. But I think I think the
Speaker 3: way of understanding why some people practice this perhaps best
Speaker 3: is to is to go on to reddit dot com.
Speaker 3: So I found a post by Reddit user u slash
Speaker 3: monk one night one eight one seven h seems like
Speaker 3: a nice guy, and there are four hundred, four hundred
Speaker 3: and eighty up votes on. What I did was I
Speaker 3: went to semen retention and I looked at you know,
Speaker 3: sorted by popular posts, found this one from a bunch
Speaker 3: of numbers. And so this guy has nine years of
Speaker 3: experience with semen retention. So I'm just going to read
Speaker 3: I'm presuming oh boy.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, him and some months off the
Speaker 2: coast of fucking lind spar.
Speaker 3: I cannot be healthy. No, I don't think it is.
Speaker 3: There is I will get to this evidence that you
Speaker 3: shouldn't do this. Uh So, in his nine years of experience,
Speaker 3: he has experienced the following things. Semen, when retained in
Speaker 3: our bodies, has healing, rejuvenating effects. Loss of semen has
Speaker 3: the opposite effects. This may not be scientifically proven, but
Speaker 3: it's proven by experience. That's a red flag. That's interesting
Speaker 3: getting Reddit medical advice. While attempting any task that demands
Speaker 3: high physical, mental, or intellectual abilities, if we are semen
Speaker 3: retention powered, we would actually enjoy the task, which would
Speaker 3: otherwise seem dull. This is called sexual energy transmutation in
Speaker 3: layman's terms.
Speaker 4: Oh no, wait, that's the laymen's the non laymen term.
Speaker 3: It's got even more. I have no idea spermozoic fucking fission.
Speaker 3: So for peak performance, it's always necessary to be powered
Speaker 3: by seamen. It would be best to use semen only
Speaker 3: for regeneration purposes, since nature originally intended it for regeneration,
Speaker 3: and not use it for sexual purposes apart from the
Speaker 3: create a child. If not serving that purpose, Master whatever
Speaker 3: teach techniques are useful in not letting the seed out
Speaker 3: while having sex. At the end of the day, don't
Speaker 3: let your seed out like a worthless thing. There's more so,
Speaker 3: just contain yourself great, great, which is exactly the reason
Speaker 3: why core religions are based on celibacy, because opposite of
Speaker 3: regeneration is degeneration, which will cause a man to fall
Speaker 3: into a lower state controlled by his lower nature, rather
Speaker 3: than when he's subduing it. We should let seemen retention
Speaker 3: be part of our lives, not something that is done
Speaker 3: for superpowers. For superpowers are, in my experience, the sudden
Speaker 3: ecstasy that we feel once we transition from the degenerated
Speaker 3: to the regenerated state, and that will stabilize after some time,
Speaker 3: similar to how a flight maintains stable altitude after take off.
Speaker 4: Very very similar.
Speaker 3: Actually, yeah, that's that's what you can hear when the
Speaker 3: when the engine are spinning up. It's just a do track,
Speaker 3: really hard not to nut and it makes that noise.
Speaker 5: So excited for the next Marvel film where the where
Speaker 5: the superhero.
Speaker 2: Come so he can get tiny no fat man.
Speaker 3: So yeah he didn't. I should add that This person
Speaker 3: confesses to having lapsed at some point in the nine years.
Speaker 2: Yeah it's Armstrong was on steroids. It's just disappointing.
Speaker 3: No one would have seen it coming. See what I
Speaker 3: did there? Okay. So this person then urges other posters
Speaker 3: on the semia retention subreddit to not use streaks to
Speaker 3: outperform others or look better about ourselves or bring others down.
Speaker 3: The battle with lust is a lifelong fight, and the
Speaker 3: more we get better at finding victories. Yeah yeah, buddy,
Speaker 3: there at finding victories over internal battles, the better we
Speaker 3: become as high valued men.
Speaker 2: Hell yeah, see, I've often wished that, you know, if
Speaker 2: the if the pandemic hadn't been a thing, and I
Speaker 2: could force you all to work in a central location,
Speaker 2: I could have like a wall of murals where I
Speaker 2: put under each of your faces a quote from an
Speaker 2: episode that you've participated in, and James that that would
Speaker 2: be your quote. The battle gets us is a lifelong struggle.
Speaker 3: Yeah that, I'll get some T shirts knocked up, but
Speaker 3: we can do a fun rate.
Speaker 5: Would we eventually get the and mediate officers? You have
Speaker 5: a portrait hanging on the wall if you one quote underneath.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, on a plaque with a yeah, let
Speaker 3: me get the cash we when we take over the
Speaker 3: Meta offices three weeks from now. Yeah. There is a
Speaker 3: marketing company that has been emailing me for about six
Speaker 3: months telling me how cheap it is to buy a
Speaker 3: billboard by the side of a road and send a
Speaker 3: message to a loved one. So maybe great, maybe doing
Speaker 3: bangarray Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, well there will be until
Speaker 3: I put my positive messages about the controlling lust and
Speaker 3: holding semen inside our bodies true and return men to
Speaker 3: their former glory. So a lot of the a lot
Speaker 3: of the reddit posts rely on a couple of different studies, right,
Speaker 3: and one of these studies measured participates. A lot of
Speaker 3: what they're doing is a claiming to increase testosterone right
Speaker 3: right at the bat. Testosterone does have Aslan's armstrong can
Speaker 3: tell you some performance enhancing benefits, so yeah, you know,
Speaker 3: increases your muscle growth, your your coverage from exercise, all
Speaker 3: that stuff. One of the studies measured participate testosterone levels
Speaker 3: at baseline before masturbation and then in ten minute intervals
Speaker 3: after masturbation, right, And then they were asked to abstain
Speaker 3: for three weeks, and they came back and they did
Speaker 3: the process again. Testosterone was higher in the baseline measurement
Speaker 3: at the end of the three weeks of abstinence, right,
Speaker 3: But the sample size was pretty small, and there's some
Speaker 3: theorizing that the boost was actually caused by the anticipated
Speaker 3: masturbation that they were about to do. At the second
Speaker 3: it was so ready to go, yeah, yeah, he's gun, Yeah,
Speaker 3: you're just ready to pop. After three weeks, the second
Speaker 3: study looked at a forty five percent intre so after
Speaker 3: a few days seven days of abstinence, But even the
Speaker 3: study showed this was a temporary peak that returned to
Speaker 3: normal even with continuing abstinence. So there's just these two studies.
Speaker 3: They're pretty they happened a long time ago. We'll post
Speaker 3: them all in the show notes if you guys want
Speaker 3: to read more about novap science. But we should just
Speaker 3: point out that there is in fact a multitude of
Speaker 3: evidence this is a bad idea that having sex is
Speaker 3: actually good for you. Having sex will toward trying not
Speaker 3: to ejaculate. It's probably not good for you, probably not
Speaker 3: good for your relationship either. One would surmise there.
Speaker 2: Are into that whatever, yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well if that's your thing, you do
Speaker 3: you do you. There was a study that investigated the
Speaker 3: motivation for semen and retention among semen and retainers, and
Speaker 3: a lot of it it seemed like people were people
Speaker 3: who felt that like either sex or masturbation was unhealthy
Speaker 3: or wrong or sinful. And there is evidence to show
Speaker 3: that like feeling like guilty about yourself or like living
Speaker 3: with stress and self learning like that is bad for you, right,
Speaker 3: and that will reduce your test after a level there's
Speaker 3: also some evidence suggested not ejacul I think can give
Speaker 3: you prostate issues.
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, there's and this is like pretty debatable, like
Speaker 2: most things that people talk about in regards to coming
Speaker 2: and health, Like you can find some studies, like the
Speaker 2: studies on testosterone. Some of them are kind of sketchy. Anyway. Yeah,
Speaker 2: don't think O come or come either way. You know,
Speaker 2: it's whatever. But if you do have a chance to
Speaker 2: fuck one of those Ali Baba robots, I recommend it.
Speaker 2: Let's talk about cum demons.
Speaker 5: Hell yeah, wait, okay, okay, hard hard pivot here from us.
Speaker 4: So okay, we we are not going as far afield
Speaker 4: from the no fat people as as as as you
Speaker 4: would think. Okay, but all right, now, the year is
Speaker 4: twenty twenty. Everyone on Earth has collectively gone insane. Uh,
Speaker 4: this is this is this is the summer. This is
Speaker 4: the summer of twenty twenty. So this is the part
Speaker 4: of twenty twenty where fun stuff is happening. This is
Speaker 4: like late July, Garrison, That's when we met.
Speaker 5: So yeah, we were getting just incredibly poisoned.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, we sure were. That'll be fun in like
Speaker 2: twenty years.
Speaker 4: Well, well, while life or death struggle for the sort
Speaker 4: of the life for death, struggle for the fate of
Speaker 4: the United States and whether or not people are going
Speaker 4: to be conducing murdered by the cops is being waged
Speaker 4: in the streets.
Speaker 2: Uh, Donald Trump.
Speaker 4: But Donald J. Trump, Donald Donald J.
Speaker 2: Trump.
Speaker 4: Wow, Donald Trump Junior. That one that's that's that's the
Speaker 4: Trump little Trump here.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Trump, we're you know, looking for looking looking for their
Speaker 4: their their their cure to COVID nineteen on Twitter and okay,
Speaker 4: so as we probably all remember, right, the thing that
Speaker 4: they found was hydroxid. Okay, so one of the first
Speaker 4: ones that they found before before I've remat him.
Speaker 2: This is this is before we found so much shit?
Speaker 3: Yeah, was it inside with them all along? May?
Speaker 4: No, this is this is this is chloric clean the
Speaker 4: thing that was probable. I hope they weren't full of
Speaker 4: the doctor.
Speaker 3: I thought it was.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 4: No, Well, we'll get to that where there there's a
Speaker 4: The road is long, but it ends with cum demons.
Speaker 4: We first must walk the road. So the road here
Speaker 4: is Donald Donald Trump Junior posts a tweet saying like this,
Speaker 4: saying this is necessary watching about this video from this
Speaker 4: doctor named doctor Stella Emmanuet. Now Okay, who is this person?
Speaker 4: She she is part of Ah okay, I say part
Speaker 4: of She runs this thing called Firepower Ministries, which, so
Speaker 4: you're going great.
Speaker 2: She's also part of I know, broadly Yeah, okay, cool.
Speaker 4: She's also part of America's frontline doctors who are yeah yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: I've forgotten. Yeah, these dip ships, Oh my god. Okay,
Speaker 4: So this is this is very very very much in
Speaker 4: the same vein as architecture nine to eleven truth. They
Speaker 4: found a bunch of people who technically have medical degrees
Speaker 4: or like nurses who were like no, no, vaccines are
Speaker 4: bad and hydroxychloric clean quadratrichlor clean is we'll covid cork
Speaker 4: with that one. Yeah, it's it's, it's been. It's it's
Speaker 4: been a long day. I I've slept for eight hours,
Speaker 4: but in like several distinct parts of the day that
Speaker 4: were not continuous. It's been. Things are going things are
Speaker 4: going great.
Speaker 3: Matter if you've taken some horse medicine first.
Speaker 4: Quite possibly, I mean it's not like you could have
Speaker 4: gone worse.
Speaker 3: I get.
Speaker 4: All right, right, So so that this person's from the
Speaker 4: very sketchy doctors who are trying to sell like a
Speaker 4: bunch of random ship to to cure COVID And.
Speaker 2: Okay, so who actually is this person?
Speaker 4: She is from a ruined and doctor Stella meant Immanue
Speaker 4: was caught up in uh the unbelievably sort of like
Speaker 4: I mean right, like yes, objectively right wing, also very
Speaker 4: very weird wave of Pentecostalism and charismatic Christianity that's been
Speaker 4: sweeping across that part of Africa and as part of
Speaker 4: sort of a you know, sort of like a very
Speaker 4: sort of long range of coordinated effort by by right
Speaker 4: wing Christian missionaries. So okay, so for for for people
Speaker 4: who don't know your Christianity very well, the Pentecostals and
Speaker 4: the charismatic Christians are like firmly in the very very
Speaker 4: weird camp of Christians. Like these are these are people
Speaker 4: who do faith healing. One of the very common sort
Speaker 4: of Pentecostal things is this belief that like like you
Speaker 4: just you talk to God, like God's in your head
Speaker 4: and you just have conversations with him. Now unfortunately for
Speaker 4: like all of us, and and this is you know
Speaker 4: what a thing that is a non insignificant contributing factor
Speaker 4: to why the last I don't know ten years have
Speaker 4: been so bat shit is that like this this originally
Speaker 4: was kind of an isolated Pentecostal thing and like the
Speaker 4: broader evangelicals were like, no, no, no, God only talks to
Speaker 4: me like your pastor, Like he's probably not like you're
Speaker 4: you're not like having a conversation in your head with
Speaker 4: but like change that's changed. Yeah, this shit has this
Speaker 4: ship has fucking taken over everywhere. It's really bad. And
Speaker 4: these people believe a lot of very very weird stuff.
Speaker 4: So well, I mean, okay, so like you know, she
Speaker 4: she has like some of the sort of standard like
Speaker 4: really really hardline like David iike shit, Like she believes
Speaker 4: that the world's being run by aliens and like reptiles,
Speaker 4: and like the vaccine has like alien DNA in it
Speaker 4: to like take over your data. You know. It's just
Speaker 4: like sort of kind of Facebook moments Alex Jones. Shit,
Speaker 4: yeah right, okay, but okay, I'm gonna read this quote
Speaker 4: from will Sumner. This is a quote from one of
Speaker 4: her for her sermons, They which is, demons are responsible
Speaker 4: for serious guy int ecological problems. And Manuel said, we
Speaker 4: call them all kinds of names, and tremeseus and travisus,
Speaker 4: we call them molar pregnancies, we call them fibroids, we
Speaker 4: call them cysts, but most of them were evil deposits
Speaker 4: from spirit husband.
Speaker 2: God.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: No, they are responsible for miscarriages, impotence, men that can't
Speaker 4: get it up. So all right, immediately we we have
Speaker 4: like we have there are several kinds of coum demons
Speaker 4: here that we're dealing with. So there are like there, there's, there's,
Speaker 4: there's okay. So a lot of this is drawn from
Speaker 4: what is a very like a genu widely unbelievably dubious
Speaker 4: piece of theology. So when I was reading musicching this, right,
Speaker 4: I saw, I saw, I saw someone there was there
Speaker 4: was like a religious scholar who was writing this. He
Speaker 4: was like, oh, I immediately recognized the theology of this.
Speaker 4: This is from this is from Genesis six.
Speaker 2: So okay.
Speaker 4: So I was like, okay, what what the fuck are
Speaker 4: they talking about? So I I went back and I
Speaker 4: read Okay, So I went back and I read the Genesis,
Speaker 4: and I'm going to read the two this is.
Speaker 2: This is from Genesis chapter six.
Speaker 4: Verses one and two, and I am just going to
Speaker 4: read these two sentences and I'm going to see if
Speaker 4: you two can produce cum demons from this, Okay, happy, I.
Speaker 2: Mean I could produce cum demons from almost anything.
Speaker 3: That is the power with the right machinery.
Speaker 2: You know what, I think we know exactly what the
Speaker 2: right machinery is.
Speaker 4: Look, we know that we can produce com demons mechanically.
Speaker 4: Our challenge here is to produce them theologically. Okay, try
Speaker 4: I will, I will use all of all of my knowledge.
Speaker 2: We must, we must find a way to evacuate the
Speaker 2: vast deference of the soul.
Speaker 4: Okay, So I'm using I'm using the King James translation,
Speaker 4: because that's the translation that all these psychos use. And
Speaker 4: it came to pass when men began to multiply on
Speaker 4: the face of the earth and were born onto them,
Speaker 4: that the sons of God saw the daughters of man
Speaker 4: that they were fair, and they took them wives of
Speaker 4: all which they chose.
Speaker 5: Okay, so I I do know where they're I I
Speaker 5: do know what what they are doing. So the sons
Speaker 5: of God, those would be what like fallen angels that
Speaker 5: have been procreating with women.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 5: This this ties into like the Book of Enoch stuff,
Speaker 5: which was made a little bit like after Genesis, but
Speaker 5: kind of like retconned a lot of like the creation story,
Speaker 5: so I can see where they're they're pulling cum demons from.
Speaker 5: But it is it is a bit of a stretch.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're kind of you could say cum demons in
Speaker 2: the way that like god seed. Yeah, you could see it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's that's it is a stretch.
Speaker 4: Now, Okay, my, my, my, my analysis because I I
Speaker 4: think I I think they're pulling this out of their ass,
Speaker 4: and I think they're pulling this out.
Speaker 3: Of their as.
Speaker 4: It's also about cum demons.
Speaker 5: So yeah, okay, I I I I have it is
Speaker 5: well known for people who follow me on Twitter.
Speaker 4: I have an immense and powerful disrespect for theology. But
Speaker 4: what what part of the sons of God? What what
Speaker 4: part of that gets you to demons and not like
Speaker 4: because again, isn't the whole point of Christianity that we
Speaker 4: are all God's children? Like is this not a thing
Speaker 4: that they tell you in every single fucking So how
Speaker 4: do you read that and not think they're talking about
Speaker 4: people and immediately jump to come de bit like, here's
Speaker 4: what's going on?
Speaker 5: I could I could explain this because this is the
Speaker 5: King's James version, So this was made in a post
Speaker 5: Book of Enoch world around the around the alleged birth
Speaker 5: of Jesus, the Book of Enoch got very popular, and
Speaker 5: this this introduced the idea of a fallen angel. The
Speaker 5: fallow fallen angel isn't really in the Bible at all,
Speaker 5: it's only it's only in like non biblical Abrahamic texts.
Speaker 5: So this, this idea then kind of got planted into
Speaker 5: a lot of like Catholic mythology as well. So when
Speaker 5: they're there, cause they have a distinction between like this,
Speaker 5: like the sons of like the sons of God versus
Speaker 5: what was the what was the thing they used to
Speaker 5: refer to the daughters. The sons are the daughters of
Speaker 5: men exactly, So the daughters are human, where the the
Speaker 5: the sons are like came from God. So that is
Speaker 5: some type of fallen angel that has been cast down
Speaker 5: to earth. Like there they are doing a specific thing.
Speaker 5: But it's it's it's it's a result of a whole
Speaker 5: bunch of like mistranslations and a whole bunch of various
Speaker 5: various like Christian and Gnostic texts that been that have
Speaker 5: been misinterpreted for thousands of years by the Catholic Church.
Speaker 5: And it creates a really weird theology that is indistinguishable
Speaker 5: from like Castlevania.
Speaker 4: So I'm blame I blame Martin lu This is Martin
Speaker 4: Luther's fault, like like the.
Speaker 2: Here's the thing, here's the thing.
Speaker 3: Keep it in high Latins, understand.
Speaker 4: This, this is this is this is what Martin Luther.
Speaker 4: I was specifically because okay, so this was already happen
Speaker 4: the cath the Church was already doing this right, but
Speaker 4: Martin Luther had a chance to fix this ship. And
Speaker 4: she was like, do you know what I'm gonna do
Speaker 4: and say, is that I am going to I am
Speaker 4: going to turn against the peasant revolts and I'm going
Speaker 4: to do a lot. I'm going to bring about a
Speaker 4: level of anti Semitism that is going to allow me
Speaker 4: to outflank the Inquisition on the right. She could have
Speaker 4: been fixing this bullshit, no anti Semitism. Woo, I gotta
Speaker 4: keep my patron lords and down he was.
Speaker 2: He was German like, there's only so much you can ask,
Speaker 2: that's true.
Speaker 5: Yeah, well, I'm happy that we can all go to
Speaker 5: sleep at night worrying about the sons of God implanting semen.
Speaker 4: That that's that's come demon type pie one, right, that
Speaker 4: is okay, So though those are those are the demons
Speaker 4: that like they they have they have sex with women
Speaker 4: and they produce nephelim from or sometimes also nephlin.
Speaker 5: There's there's a lot of sort of conflicting sort of theology.
Speaker 5: All that stuff comes from the Book of Enoch. All
Speaker 5: that stuff is non canon to the modern Bible, but
Speaker 5: it's where it's where it comes from.
Speaker 2: Fucking Council of Nicia, Okay.
Speaker 4: But there's also there's also a second there's also the
Speaker 4: second kind of cum demon, right, which is these are
Speaker 4: the these are well okay, so succubi and incuby are
Speaker 4: based here we go, I do it. I was it
Speaker 4: was counting down the the other kind of of demon.
Speaker 4: So you have your incuby, right, who are another type
Speaker 4: of sex demon. The incuby fuck men so they can
Speaker 4: steal their semen and they're they're they're you know, there's
Speaker 4: stents are reasons that. There's another thing that she talks about,
Speaker 4: which is that there are witches who have like astral
Speaker 4: spirit sex with men in their sleep. And if you're
Speaker 4: like having a sex dream, it's because you're having actual
Speaker 4: spirit sex.
Speaker 2: No no, yeah, I mean, like I like Bill Murray,
Speaker 2: I've I've experienced that. Oh no, that was Bill Murray. Sorry,
Speaker 2: my mistake.
Speaker 4: Wait, yes, okay, okay, the cloud, the fog is clearing.
Speaker 4: I've I've had I've had sex with too many sex demons.
Speaker 4: It's it's a real issue.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 4: So so all right, So we have the sex demons
Speaker 4: who are like trying to pregnant. You have the sex
Speaker 4: tamans we're trying to steal your com We also have
Speaker 4: the actual we have the actual projecting projecting witches, right,
Speaker 4: and the actual projecting witches are trying to steal people's
Speaker 4: come as part of an Illuminati plot to create like
Speaker 4: an even more powerful witch. And the even more powerful
Speaker 4: witch is going to use gay marriage and children's toys
Speaker 4: to like destroy the fabric of Western civilization and thus
Speaker 4: bring about sort of jen general new world order, et cetera.
Speaker 4: Have heard this, honestly, Witch meetings, Yeah, that is not.
Speaker 2: As far from the backstory to Warhammer forty thousand as
Speaker 2: it should be.
Speaker 4: That's very sadly true.
Speaker 3: I didn't want Warhammer forty thousands coming to our com
Speaker 3: episode if I'm honied.
Speaker 2: No, No, it's I mean look, there's a lot of
Speaker 2: people who are interested in both Semen Retention and Warhammer
Speaker 2: forty thousand.
Speaker 4: That's a tight venda ram.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, they all play ultra marines. That was a
Speaker 2: that's yeah, pretty good Warhammer forty thousand jokes of those
Speaker 2: of you who play.
Speaker 4: I also I also learned a couple of days ago
Speaker 4: that I one of the many crimes of the Emperor
Speaker 4: forty k was passing off in a miry Bikara quote
Speaker 4: is his own.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that that is that was That was a
Speaker 2: good bit. That was a really good bit. It's little
Speaker 2: pieces like that that let you know that Dan Abnett's
Speaker 2: pretty bass. That was my favorite part of the book.
Speaker 3: So funny, that's like, that's literally canon.
Speaker 5: I do have like three pages written on.
Speaker 4: Yeah, little bit. That's that's that's the end of the
Speaker 4: same stems go off.
Speaker 5: Well, okay, I The one thing I'll add on is
Speaker 5: that one of the more funny modern versions of these,
Speaker 5: if you go on the Beta Drill subreddit, the Recreational
Speaker 5: Petrol subreddit, you can fight who try to take enough
Speaker 5: beda drill to have sex with the hat man, which
Speaker 5: is another another form of trying to sum a shadow People.
Speaker 2: Maybe you have to you have to explain your terms
Speaker 2: for people here. Yeah, I'm the man is a tall,
Speaker 2: thin man wearing a hat who appears when you take
Speaker 2: hallucinogenic doses of benadrill because you can't afford better drugs
Speaker 2: because you're seventeen.
Speaker 3: Yes, we're younger.
Speaker 2: And there's some people the hat man.
Speaker 5: Some people find the hat man extremely attractive or some
Speaker 5: of like the female shadow people variants, and they try
Speaker 5: to they have I have read multiple reports of people
Speaker 5: explaining their sexual experiences with shadow people.
Speaker 4: Anyways, the President of the United States and his son
Speaker 4: were promoting this, so this is great.
Speaker 3: This website, by the way, absolute adventures on here. I'm
Speaker 3: just reading about how to use Christ's blood as a weapon. Amazing.
Speaker 2: Oh that's good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that problems he yeah.
Speaker 4: Do you know who won't steal your seamen?
Speaker 5: Everybody?
Speaker 2: We can't promise that.
Speaker 4: I can.
Speaker 5: I can promise any advertiser on this show I've personally
Speaker 5: approved to make sure they will not come into your
Speaker 5: bedroom and still your semen.
Speaker 3: Wow, how do you how does the approval precis work?
Speaker 5: Out of interest, I cannot divulge privately, Garrison for we
Speaker 5: are we are going to close off by talking about
Speaker 5: a sperm and testosterone, to two of our favorite topics
Speaker 5: for this episode. For some reason, about about a year ago,
Speaker 5: a trailer on Fox News dropped for a new batch
Speaker 5: of Tucker Carlson originals titled The End of Men. It
Speaker 5: opens with the text that reads, in the current year,
Speaker 5: the cycle continues.
Speaker 8: Once a society collapses, then you're in hard times. Well,
Speaker 8: hot iron sharpens iron, as they say, and those hard
Speaker 8: times inevitably produce men who are tough, men, who are resourceful,
Speaker 8: men who are strong enough to survive, and then they
Speaker 8: go on to re establish order, and so the cycle
Speaker 8: begins again.
Speaker 5: Now, there's a few funny things about this video, from
Speaker 5: the ripped shirtless dudes milking cows to wrestling each other
Speaker 5: and shooting bottles of canola oil. There's had a hundreche
Speaker 5: that are shooting like ten bottles of canola oil.
Speaker 4: For some reason, maybe.
Speaker 3: Then Mussolini's like, they're into the Mussolini's death.
Speaker 5: He was bye by far the most bizarre.
Speaker 2: I suspect they're shooting the canola because it's like a
Speaker 2: seed oil thing. They think that like seed oil, it's
Speaker 2: a right wing thing. Oils are like sucking out your testosterone.
Speaker 5: Anyway, It's something very silly, but by far the most
Speaker 5: bizarre thing in this trailer is a shot of a
Speaker 5: naked man with outstretched arms like Jesus on the crossa style,
Speaker 5: standing in front of a lake at dusk, a white
Speaker 5: machine shining a glowing red light on his dick.
Speaker 9: What and.
Speaker 5: Again, powerful image at the climax of the music from
Speaker 5: two thousand and one in Space Odyssey.
Speaker 4: Uh, there's this.
Speaker 5: There's this man facing balls first in front of this
Speaker 5: large red light at the end of this trailer.
Speaker 2: I it should never have been any cause on our
Speaker 2: podcast or on Fox News for anyone to save the
Speaker 2: line after the end of the climax of the music
Speaker 2: from two thousand and one a Space Odyssey.
Speaker 4: Oh that's the thing we're objecting to from this episode.
Speaker 2: That's the line.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, because it shouldn't have climax. It lost its
Speaker 3: power in that moment.
Speaker 4: Considering both like the no, no one.
Speaker 2: Second, James, that was a very good joke.
Speaker 3: Thank you, thank you, thank you for seeing me, buddy. Yeah.
Speaker 5: So considering both like the text at the beginning and
Speaker 5: then some of the narration that we just heard the trailer.
Speaker 5: They're kind of this weird like KLi Yuga thing, right,
Speaker 5: that is that is a bit of a bit of
Speaker 5: what's going on here because.
Speaker 2: Kali Yuga again. You can listen to our episodes on
Speaker 2: Savitri Devi for a little more information about this. But
Speaker 2: it's like this weird right wing un like quasi apocalyptic
Speaker 2: concept that evolved during an intermix between some of the
Speaker 2: early Nazis and some of the people who are currently
Speaker 2: behind the present leader of India. It's it's way too
Speaker 2: esoteric weird to get into, but it's one of the
Speaker 2: things that like the old.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's the real fun like it.
Speaker 5: We're not going to get into it too much, but
Speaker 5: I think the previous unset.
Speaker 2: That wound up adjacent to at Tucker Carlson episode because
Speaker 2: it's some like weird esoteric Nazi wizard shit.
Speaker 5: Yes, And that previous November, Joe Rogan posted a KLi
Speaker 5: Yuga meme which went viral. It's it's about how hard
Speaker 5: times creates strong men, which create good times, which lead
Speaker 5: to weak men, which create hard times. It's a fucking
Speaker 5: silly yeah. His his the accompanying text on the Instagram
Speaker 5: post that that Rogan did said, civilizations move in predictable cycles.
Speaker 5: We are in the Kali Yuga, the age of conflict.
Speaker 5: All of the chaos we're seeing right now is predicted
Speaker 5: in Hinduism thousands of years ago. Rogan was probably just
Speaker 5: like parroting something that he heard from one of his
Speaker 5: many fascy or new ag friends, which, considering Rogan's social circle,
Speaker 5: that could very well just be the same person.
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, yeah, one of his fucking sparring buddies is
Speaker 2: either friends with the Nazi or just stumbled upon a
Speaker 2: fucking the wrong podcast and then told him that when
Speaker 2: they were smoking weed. And you know, yes, I mean
Speaker 2: that's honestly to It's problematic because of his platform, but
Speaker 2: that's how I learned everything about esoterica. That I learned
Speaker 2: when I was in my twenties was some I was
Speaker 2: smoking weed with some sketchy dude who was going place
Speaker 2: I shouldn't have been on the internet.
Speaker 5: So a few months after Rogan posted this meme, we
Speaker 5: have Tucker Carlson making this whole mini series surrounding this
Speaker 5: Hard Times Creates Strong Men kind of trend. It's taking
Speaker 5: cues from the online manosphere, and Tucker posited that weak
Speaker 5: unmanly men are leading to the collapse of civilization and
Speaker 5: a hardening of men is necessary to save it, according
Speaker 5: to According to Tucker, one of the threats to manhood
Speaker 5: is a quote unquote total collapse in testosterone levels amongst
Speaker 5: men in recent years. And the solution goes beyond just
Speaker 5: your typical like anti soy crusading that Tucker has done
Speaker 5: in the past. Now, Tucker has turned to the cutting
Speaker 5: edge science of bromiopathic medicine as.
Speaker 4: Advocates damn it, as advocated.
Speaker 5: For by a quote unquote fitness professional named Andrew McGovern
Speaker 5: who touts that infrared light and testical tanning is this
Speaker 5: DIESX mod for plummeting tea levels and men.
Speaker 10: So obviously half the viewers right now are like, what
Speaker 10: that's crotestical taking.
Speaker 2: That's crazy.
Speaker 10: But my view is Okay, testosterol levels crash and nobody
Speaker 10: says anything about it. That's crazy. So why is it
Speaker 10: crazy to seek solutions?
Speaker 3: It's not crazy to seek solutions.
Speaker 6: And I think I was recently exposed to a term
Speaker 6: called bromeopathy, and I think there's a lot of people
Speaker 6: out there right now that are don't trust the mainstream information.
Speaker 5: This TV special is constantly referred to as a documentary,
Speaker 5: So surely you would expect Tucker to try and like
Speaker 5: interview scientists or like anyone with expertise on this topic.
Speaker 4: Of course, not actually not the way to anyone series.
Speaker 5: Andrew McGovern are, our bromeopathic hero works as a personal
Speaker 5: trader at Lifetime Fitness in Columbus, Ohio, and he hasn't
Speaker 5: even been a trader for very about a decade ago.
Speaker 5: About a decade ago, he was the manager of an
Speaker 5: Abercrombie and Fitch store in Miami.
Speaker 2: Oh perfect, Yes you don't know, Okay, now my descriptions
Speaker 2: from it. He works at the Abercrombie and Finish store.
Speaker 4: Wait, but in Miami.
Speaker 2: Hey, if you want to get trim that's where you
Speaker 2: get trimmed.
Speaker 8: Yeah, that.
Speaker 3: Type of dude. He's emerging here.
Speaker 5: As of twenty seventeen, he was the director of operations
Speaker 5: for Petland retail stores.
Speaker 2: He's getting funnier.
Speaker 3: But this guy's resume is amusing.
Speaker 5: But Tucker, being a competent journalist, did not just interview
Speaker 5: one person. However, Kid Rock was brought on to be
Speaker 5: the sole voice of reasons.
Speaker 2: You know, Garrison, you left, But kid Rock is the
Speaker 2: other person I've gotten for scription drugs from.
Speaker 3: So Real Bastion in the platonic cave of men stands
Speaker 3: Kid Rock and a guy from Apacrombie and Fitch. We
Speaker 3: must only beat our shadows.
Speaker 2: Dude, stop testical tanning.
Speaker 7: Come on, I mean, I haven't heard anything, Bobby. I'm
Speaker 7: starting a punk rock band and it's called testical tanning.
Speaker 2: That's the end of it.
Speaker 10: I mean, don't you think at this point, when so
Speaker 10: many of the therapies, the paths they've told us to take,
Speaker 10: have turned out to be dead ends that have really
Speaker 10: hurt people, why wouldn't open minded people seek new solutions.
Speaker 4: I don't know what the hell is going on in
Speaker 4: this world. I'm not even sure if I understood that question.
Speaker 2: But some days I just want to stop this planet.
Speaker 2: Let me off.
Speaker 5: Like Kid Rock was not did not buy into testical
Speaker 5: tanning the same way Tucker seems to.
Speaker 2: How oh god is That's what I said?
Speaker 4: I said he was brought out to be the sole reason.
Speaker 3: But we thought you were joking because it's Kid Rock.
Speaker 2: You were joking. Believe you.
Speaker 4: No, he's the only person that doesn't buy it.
Speaker 3: Kid Rock. It stands with science.
Speaker 2: It is indeed Sweet Home, Alabama all summer long.
Speaker 5: Tucker was not the first person to advocate for testicular
Speaker 5: tanning as the solution to an allegedly problematic dip in
Speaker 5: testosterone levels. Dating back to twenty fifteen, you can find
Speaker 5: articles online such as quote former MLB player Gabe Kapler
Speaker 5: says men who want to get stronger should tan their
Speaker 5: testicles from Complex and quote I put a giant red
Speaker 5: light on my balls to triple white testostero levels from
Speaker 5: a Men's Health twenty seventeen.
Speaker 3: Is that written by Ben Greenfield Benny Johnce because he
Speaker 3: normally pops up with these things, which one the Men's
Speaker 3: Health one. Let me let me see a guy who
Speaker 3: injected dick to make it bigger. I have it in
Speaker 3: my show notes here.
Speaker 5: This was written by someone named Ben Greenfield.
Speaker 2: This balland one James So proud of you today, Buddy.
Speaker 4: I'm so happy we have you on our team.
Speaker 2: Jez, are you taking Are you taking performance enhancing drugs?
Speaker 2: For this podcast?
Speaker 3: Sadly, Robert, I'm not, but this is so funny. We
Speaker 3: have stepped into a gold mine of contact with Ben Greenfield,
Speaker 3: the guy who injected his own dick with stem cells
Speaker 3: to make it bigger.
Speaker 4: That's so funny.
Speaker 3: I urge you. I compel you. If you have any
Speaker 3: free time in your day, just google Ben Greenfield penis.
Speaker 3: There will be several articles. It's supposed to be reptable outlets.
Speaker 3: It will just fucking make you unwell.
Speaker 4: Well, that's that is great to hear it.
Speaker 5: But despite not being the first person to talk about
Speaker 5: testicular tanning, Tucker was certainly the most impactful. After the
Speaker 5: airing of the End of Men, Testicular tanning showed a
Speaker 5: seven thousand increase in relative search interest on Google and
Speaker 5: thirty five thousand increase in tweets on the topic. Now,
Speaker 5: surely some of these things are stuff like what are
Speaker 5: making fun of it?
Speaker 2: Right some tweeks, I'm sure.
Speaker 5: A lot Also a lot of it's also people who
Speaker 5: are just talking about it genuinely. To quote a study
Speaker 5: published in JMIR, a dermatology publication, quote, the promotion of
Speaker 5: testicular tanning generated significant public interest in an evidence lacking
Speaker 5: and potentially dangerous health trend. Dermatologists and other healthcare professionals
Speaker 5: should be aware of these new viral health trends to
Speaker 5: best consultations and combat health misinformation. Unquote so like in
Speaker 5: terms of actual data, A twenty seventeen meta analysis of
Speaker 5: studies on sperm counts found that in North America, Europe, Australia,
Speaker 5: and New Zealand, men's sperm counts have declined by about
Speaker 5: fifty percent between nineteen seventy three and twenty eleven. Now,
Speaker 5: these results have not been enough to really cause broad
Speaker 5: concern unless you're like a right wing influencer for men,
Speaker 5: because there doesn't really seem to be an equal drop
Speaker 5: in testostere level compared.
Speaker 2: To problems mankind has had on the whole. Not enough
Speaker 2: semen comshat, it's not one of the.
Speaker 5: Yes and like compared to previous decades. There is this
Speaker 5: maybe like a twenty percent decrease in total testosterone levels
Speaker 5: amongst adolescent and young adult males, but that's highly fluxtual
Speaker 5: and it's impacted heavily by diet.
Speaker 4: It's It's suspected that.
Speaker 5: Pollution and environmental degradation are also suspected of being contributing factors,
Speaker 5: with plastics like a thighlight being known to interfere with
Speaker 5: the production of hormones like distosterone. But this this area
Speaker 5: of research is still heavily contested, but still that has
Speaker 5: not stopped fitness YouTubers and conservative influencers from tying this
Speaker 5: to like the soy boy feminization of men and drumming
Speaker 5: up panic to grow their social media followings, sell their
Speaker 5: supplements and advertise affiliate products. The krem Dela Creme of
Speaker 5: red lights for testicular tanning is the Juve Light, a
Speaker 5: light that is a light therapy panel company which sells
Speaker 5: these LEDs. They're they're like this, They're like this upscale
Speaker 5: wellness brand. The smallest model they have costs over one
Speaker 5: thousand dollars, with the full body ones going for around
Speaker 5: ten grand.
Speaker 3: This is when you know it's a grift. If someone
Speaker 3: is telling you that they need to sell you sunlight,
Speaker 3: they are having a fucking laugh.
Speaker 5: Our friend Ben Greenfield advocates a quote that advocates that
Speaker 5: you spend the big bucks on drew lest you quote
Speaker 5: fry your balls to a crisp with a cheap knockoff.
Speaker 2: You wouldn't want to do that, would you?
Speaker 11: Like?
Speaker 3: This is unwild?
Speaker 5: Yeah, it seems like it's maybe a bad idea.
Speaker 2: I can teach you how to how to how to
Speaker 2: cook your balls safely without spending any money at all.
Speaker 2: Get a pair of double A batteries, take them right
Speaker 2: out of your out of your your your your your
Speaker 2: remote control. You stick the active in bottle of water,
Speaker 2: and then you put your hand on your testicles and
Speaker 2: it'll complete the circuit and power your testicles up with electricity,
Speaker 2: which you can then ejaculate instead of come.
Speaker 5: They'll probably give you superpowers too.
Speaker 2: Almost certainly, Garrison.
Speaker 4: Legally, this is not a recommendation to do this. If
Speaker 4: you do this, that shit's not on us. You did
Speaker 4: that your infliction.
Speaker 3: Please do not connect batteries to you.
Speaker 5: Dick to quote that JMIR study evaluating the public's interest
Speaker 5: into secular tanning quote. The interest in this topic may
Speaker 5: be partially explained by the men's attention and advertising men's
Speaker 5: sexual health and hormone replacement or homone enhancing therapies receive
Speaker 5: in the US. Although subsequent media coverage largely disfavored testicular
Speaker 5: tanning due to lacking evidence and potential dangers, other health
Speaker 5: influencers came to defend and encourage the practice of testicular tanning,
Speaker 5: specifically by using UV light as an unquote. As an example,
Speaker 5: here is a clip from fitness YouTuber Elliott Hulsey's Strength
Speaker 5: Camp with one point seven million followers.
Speaker 11: Blast your balls with sunshine to increase testosterone. Now you
Speaker 11: can drop your draws and let your balls get kissed
Speaker 11: by the sun. Or you can try one of these
Speaker 11: light panels to roast my nuts and be more manly.
Speaker 11: Nineteen thirty nine study suggests the UV light exposure to
Speaker 11: your testicles increases testosterone by two hundred percent. If you
Speaker 11: want to join me in this experiment, you can find
Speaker 11: one of these bad.
Speaker 2: Boys Joseyhealth dot com.
Speaker 11: Then just go to personal labs dot com, get your
Speaker 11: blood tested, get your testosterone. Then after eight to twelve weeks,
Speaker 11: check it again and find out if the nut rusting
Speaker 11: really works.
Speaker 5: So this whole idea goes back to this one nineteen
Speaker 5: thirty nine Studies eighteen thirty nine.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Now let's get let's you get shied
Speaker 3: to nineteen thirty nine.
Speaker 11: Man.
Speaker 5: And if there's one thing I trust, it's science from
Speaker 5: nineteen thirty nine.
Speaker 3: Yep, got any comments on or on race in this study.
Speaker 5: So this study was public in the journal ender Chronology,
Speaker 5: and it found that frequent UV irritation to the genitals
Speaker 5: increased urinary and rosterone, a metabolite of distosterone, increases levels
Speaker 5: by nearly two hundred percent quote unquote. Now you'll be
Speaker 5: shocked to learn that there may be problems with this study.
Speaker 5: Guess how many test subjects were included in this In
Speaker 5: this study, I'm gonna be generous and say eight, So
Speaker 5: miass eight. James V.
Speaker 3: Greenfailed just one? One?
Speaker 5: You say one, Robert, how many? How many do you
Speaker 5: think are in the study?
Speaker 2: Geez, I think like seven was sacred to the Nazis,
Speaker 2: So I'm going to say.
Speaker 5: That five, A grand total of five people are in
Speaker 5: the study.
Speaker 2: Wow, I give the too much credit. They had to
Speaker 2: pick this sacred discordian number. Bullshit.
Speaker 5: Three of them are fifty four years old and have
Speaker 5: manic depressive psychosis.
Speaker 4: The other two are.
Speaker 2: Twenty honestly not a bad Nazi apparently representative sample for
Speaker 2: Tucker's audience.
Speaker 3: I was about to say the same thing. This is
Speaker 3: actually watches his show.
Speaker 5: The other two or twenty eight and forty five and
Speaker 5: have a quote psychopathia with depressive features, which is very
Speaker 5: again old timey term.
Speaker 4: Everyone on Twitter, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker 5: But I think what actually happened is I think they
Speaker 5: did this study at an asylum and just found people
Speaker 5: with depressive psychosis to do the study on. It's just
Speaker 5: these five, these five rand people. No, no individual graft
Speaker 5: results were produced. It only showed the quot unquote typical
Speaker 5: reaction and there wasn't even a control group for the study.
Speaker 2: Was good silence.
Speaker 5: Who not to mention there's many problems with like measuring
Speaker 5: to stosterone in the first place, because it changes broadly
Speaker 5: day to day and by age, and it's very kind
Speaker 5: of unreliable. To quote the JMIR study again quote beyond
Speaker 5: this questionable study, research has shown that exposure to UV
Speaker 5: radigation may increase sex steroid hormone levels. However, these studies
Speaker 5: either do not include human participants or do not specifically
Speaker 5: evaluate u V radiation exposure to the genitals. There is
Speaker 5: there is not a single other study since then that
Speaker 5: has done anything resembling like peer reviewed science.
Speaker 3: You know what, why.
Speaker 2: Everybody go to go to go fund me help cool
Speaker 2: Zone determine whether or not testical tanning works and we'll
Speaker 2: get that control group.
Speaker 4: Okay, so what my my other question about this, aren't
Speaker 4: aren't all these people getting fucking ball cancer?
Speaker 2: We are?
Speaker 9: We are Okay, we are about to get to that,
Speaker 9: because yes, you may think that shining you for lights
Speaker 9: on your balls might have some long term problems.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's great that a lot of South Durants come
Speaker 3: back to the episode again.
Speaker 5: So uh Vice interviewed Seth Cohen, a urologist and the
Speaker 5: director of the Sexual Dysfunction Program at n y U
Speaker 5: Langdon Health.
Speaker 4: Quote.
Speaker 5: I'm not aware of any science or data or any
Speaker 5: journal publications proving that red light therapy improves male testosterone
Speaker 5: en quote. We change recommendations on medical therapies based on
Speaker 5: double blind, placebo controlled randomized trials, large studies with thousands
Speaker 5: of patients. That's where you'll find if there's any really
Speaker 5: statistical significance between red light therapy and a placebo Could
Speaker 5: these men who underwent red light therapy and came out
Speaker 5: and felt stronger and more manly, could that have been
Speaker 5: a placebo effect? Of course it could unquote. So and
Speaker 5: as Mia mentioned, we have not really even gotten into
Speaker 5: the potential dangers yet. Close direct heat to your testicles
Speaker 5: actually damages sperm count, on top of the risk of
Speaker 5: giving yourself ball cancer by blasting concentrated UV light on
Speaker 5: your genitals for twenty minutes a day, every day of
Speaker 5: the week, which is what is recommended to quote that
Speaker 5: study one last time quote. Research shows that excessive exposure
Speaker 5: to you V radiation may lead to higher rates of
Speaker 5: genital tumor formation and decreased sperm counts, as spermo to
Speaker 5: genesis is temperature dependent. Thus, given the current obsession with
Speaker 5: optimizing male hormone levels, the high cost of red light therapy,
Speaker 5: and misleading information labeling of testicular retanning by prominent influencers,
Speaker 5: there may be an increase in men exposing themselves to
Speaker 5: UV radiation and developing associated complications unquotes.
Speaker 2: Right, heroic, So guys.
Speaker 5: Almost done here. But man, it's pretty it's pretty funny
Speaker 5: that all of the worst people you know are going
Speaker 5: to get ball cancery.
Speaker 3: Don't stop them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I you know, there was a period of time
Speaker 2: in my life when I'd said where I will never
Speaker 2: which cancer on anybody. But if you are deliberately exposing
Speaker 2: your testicles for the sun to the sun and the
Speaker 2: hope of getting superpowers because of Nazi science, it's okay.
Speaker 2: It's it's okay, Like I'm not going to mourn that.
Speaker 5: To be fair, that I thirty nine study was from
Speaker 5: the United States, so.
Speaker 2: He's talking about the other Nazi science.
Speaker 5: Yes, yeah, yeah, well yeah, And I think I think
Speaker 5: a part of this whole narrative of like the total
Speaker 5: collapse of men's testosterone levels, as as Tucker puts.
Speaker 4: It, wish yeah, so much easier.
Speaker 5: But I think this is more about men in power
Speaker 5: feeling that their position of assumed superiority is being threatened. Really,
Speaker 5: all of our quack science and conspiracy theory stories today
Speaker 5: all revolve around this, like subliminal dog whistle. It's no
Speaker 5: mistake that Tucker titled his program the End of Men.
Speaker 5: In all the stories we're covering today, it is the
Speaker 5: fear of emasculation that is the hook used to drum
Speaker 5: up fear and anger about how liberal feminism is eroding manhood.
Speaker 5: It targets some of young men's sexual insecurities while promoting
Speaker 5: this like anti woke return to the old ways of
Speaker 5: rugged masculine.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I might add because I think you're missing one
Speaker 2: aspect of it. I think you're identifying what he's signaling
Speaker 2: to his listeners and what they get out of it.
Speaker 2: But I also think that what he and the other
Speaker 2: folks who are kind of in positions of power and
Speaker 2: influence in the right get out of this because they're
Speaker 2: not they don't believe this, they're not actually motivated by that.
Speaker 2: Now what this is, and because we do not know
Speaker 2: specifically why, like testosterone rates, maybe lower white sperm counts
Speaker 2: are definitely lower, but it likely has to do with
Speaker 2: a massive variety of industrial pollutants in the environment, and
Speaker 2: with the fact that industrial agriculture and the process nature
Speaker 2: of a lot of our foods is having a negative
Speaker 2: impact on all these things, like it's consequences of capitalism, right,
Speaker 2: and because the consequences are getting increasingly hard to ignore,
Speaker 2: the thing that people like that need to do is
Speaker 2: find either a cure for them or another way to
Speaker 2: blame or another thing to blame them on.
Speaker 5: Right.
Speaker 2: And so if the aspect the things that are horribly
Speaker 2: unhealthy about the society that we have built is causing
Speaker 2: men to suffer consequences in their bodies, the thing to
Speaker 2: do on the right is to blame that shit on
Speaker 2: the liberals emasculating men. And the solution is whatever kind
Speaker 2: of shit we can sell you, right, Like, that's what's
Speaker 2: going on here, that's the motivation, and it happens outside
Speaker 2: of like manshit too, like that's all the right has anymore.
Speaker 2: Like their economic theories have been proven disastrously wrong. They
Speaker 2: have no actual ability to govern in a meaningful way
Speaker 2: other than by causing harm to people. So it's entirely
Speaker 2: about taking the consequences of the world that they advocate
Speaker 2: and blaming them on someone else and selling you snake
Speaker 2: oil to deal with it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly, And so that is most of the of
Speaker 5: the testicular tanning fun that I got into.
Speaker 3: We have covered all the things that Bank Greenfield did
Speaker 3: to his dacutat in twenty seventeen.
Speaker 2: We'll get back on this subject, but it is time
Speaker 2: for us to end. This is already over an hour.
Speaker 2: So I want to leave you all, all of you,
Speaker 2: all of you beautiful. First, I want to thank all
Speaker 2: of our beautiful correspondence for their research. And I want
Speaker 2: to leave all of you with this simple piece of advice.
Speaker 2: If you feel like your testicles aren't getting enough solar radiation,
Speaker 2: simply purchase a glass cutter and an old microwave, cut
Speaker 2: a circular hole in the microwave, and you bag it
Speaker 2: while it's on. You'll be okay. That is our legally
Speaker 2: binding health advice. That's the end of the episode.
Speaker 12: It Could Happen Here is a production of cool Zone Media.
Speaker 12: For more podcasts from cool Zone Media, visit our website
Speaker 12: cool zonemedia dot com, or check us out on the
Speaker 12: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Speaker 12: You can now find sources for it could Happen Here
Speaker 12: listed directly in episode descriptions. Thanks for listening.