1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:03,119 Speaker 1: Welcome to Katie's Crib, a production of Shonda Land Audio 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:06,480 Speaker 1: in partnership with I Heart Radio. Have you and Scott, 3 00:00:06,519 --> 00:00:08,600 Speaker 1: I mean they're so young, but like, have you guys 4 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:10,720 Speaker 1: talked to them at all about Huntington's disease? They know 5 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:14,160 Speaker 1: what it is. I was just telling Scott we needed 6 00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:17,040 Speaker 1: to talk to our nursery's school about how we're going 7 00:00:17,079 --> 00:00:20,680 Speaker 1: to approach it kind of going forward, because Scott and 8 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:23,840 Speaker 1: I am very open that I have Huntington's and always 9 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:26,960 Speaker 1: getting older, and he does not know that I have it. 10 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:29,840 Speaker 1: He knows Gammy has it. What do you call my 11 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:33,960 Speaker 1: mom um? But he doesn't know I have it. It's 12 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:37,560 Speaker 1: so wonderful and I feel like everyone should use their 13 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:40,720 Speaker 1: teachers more because they I think if you have a teacher, 14 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:45,040 Speaker 1: you love getting their advice of how to approach kids 15 00:00:45,159 --> 00:00:50,640 Speaker 1: with some big, big hard topics is always another avenue 16 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:52,559 Speaker 1: of where to get advice from. I'm sure they will 17 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,320 Speaker 1: be very helpful, you know. I feel like that what 18 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:58,360 Speaker 1: you're saying goes back to just allowing your community to 19 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:01,440 Speaker 1: help you, right, Like reaching out and finding somebody in 20 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:13,640 Speaker 1: your community to help you navigate a tough subject is good. Hello, everybody, 21 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:18,000 Speaker 1: and welcome back to Katie's Crib. Today's episode fills my 22 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:22,560 Speaker 1: heart and I personally just love our guests so much. 23 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:26,400 Speaker 1: Her name is Kelsey Porter. Her and I have kids 24 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:30,520 Speaker 1: at the same preschool, and I've known Nerve for years. 25 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:32,760 Speaker 1: We have so many mutual friends, a lot of whom 26 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:35,440 Speaker 1: have been on Katie's Crib before. She is the wife 27 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:39,160 Speaker 1: of actor Scott Porter, who you guys might know is 28 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:42,720 Speaker 1: his portrayal of Jason Street in the NBC television drama 29 00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:46,160 Speaker 1: Friday Night Lights, which is my favorite pilot ever. Kelsey 30 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:48,800 Speaker 1: previously worked as a casting director and a producer for 31 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:51,440 Speaker 1: a ton of shows, including Like The Biggest Loser and 32 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:55,000 Speaker 1: ABC is The Taste. Kelsey currently serves as a member 33 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,840 Speaker 1: of the National Board of Trustees at Huntington's Disease Society 34 00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:01,320 Speaker 1: of America, and she raises money for the organization annually. 35 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:05,480 Speaker 1: She herself was diagnosed with Huntington's disease and has an 36 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:11,200 Speaker 1: absolutely fascinating story of how she became a mom knowing 37 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:15,760 Speaker 1: that she has a disease that could be passed on genetically. 38 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:19,680 Speaker 1: It's just a very interesting, amazing topic that I've wanted 39 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:21,600 Speaker 1: to get into for a while. She and her husband 40 00:02:21,639 --> 00:02:24,200 Speaker 1: Scott have two children. Their son McCoy's six, their daughter 41 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:26,960 Speaker 1: Clover is four. And I am so proud of this 42 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:30,600 Speaker 1: episode and I'm so honored. Hi, Kelsey, Welcome to Katie's Crib. 43 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:37,280 Speaker 1: Kelsey and I go to the same preschool and that 44 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:41,200 Speaker 1: is how we first met, right, yes, yeah, yeah, it 45 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:44,320 Speaker 1: is right before you started. Because Rebecca in her duce 46 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:47,000 Speaker 1: stuff was Rebecca b and out of your dula too. 47 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:50,720 Speaker 1: Oh of course Rebecca was my dula and my mommy 48 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:55,840 Speaker 1: and me teacher through all of my pregnancies with both kids. 49 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:58,120 Speaker 1: Oh my god. Okay, so first tell the listeners, Okay, 50 00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:00,920 Speaker 1: you have two kids with a muzing names. Tell him. 51 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:04,560 Speaker 1: I have two kids, my son McCoy who is six, 52 00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:08,799 Speaker 1: and my daughter Clover is four. It's crazy how many 53 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:10,720 Speaker 1: people we have in common, you guys who are listening 54 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:12,880 Speaker 1: at who have been on the podcast. Rebecca and Nadi 55 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,639 Speaker 1: obviously was both of our dulas, and Jolie cabral is 56 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:19,560 Speaker 1: a mutual friend. Mary O'Malley is a mutual friend. Tally Moore, 57 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:22,600 Speaker 1: who we've had on for both postpartum depression anxiety talk 58 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:27,520 Speaker 1: but also for amazing nutrition. You and Scott met this 59 00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:30,200 Speaker 1: is just my love loving anecdote. But like you guys 60 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:34,000 Speaker 1: met Friday night Lights. Scott Porter, as you know, was 61 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:35,720 Speaker 1: one of the leads of Friday Night Lights, which is 62 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:39,400 Speaker 1: literally my favorite pilot that I've ever seen. Um, and 63 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:43,840 Speaker 1: he played Jason Street. And you met because he shot 64 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:46,120 Speaker 1: it in Texas, and you're a little cheerleader in Texas 65 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,000 Speaker 1: where you like, I mean, you weren't five years old, 66 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:51,440 Speaker 1: you were over eighteen, but tell me that I was 67 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:57,840 Speaker 1: twenty two. But that's so young and cute I cannot. 68 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:00,440 Speaker 1: We met in Austin. He was there for our Finite 69 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:02,200 Speaker 1: Lights and I was going to college and we met 70 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:06,000 Speaker 1: playing beer pong against each other at a Halloween party. 71 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:11,720 Speaker 1: It is perfect, it writes itself. Was it love at 72 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:14,600 Speaker 1: first sight? It was love at first sight? Ye, it 73 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:19,320 Speaker 1: was like instantaneous. I bent and was it like so serious? Quickly? 74 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:23,520 Speaker 1: I moved in with him two weeks after knowing him. 75 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:27,000 Speaker 1: And funny story, I moved me and my bunny because 76 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:29,800 Speaker 1: I had a bunny, like a live bunny named I 77 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:36,480 Speaker 1: hop Um. I moved myself and my bunny genius okay, 78 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:39,599 Speaker 1: in with Scott Porter. In with Scott Porter, and guess 79 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:43,400 Speaker 1: what he had a roommate at the time, Zach Guildford. Oh, 80 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:47,280 Speaker 1: but Zach was traveling and out of town a lot, 81 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:50,039 Speaker 1: and so Scott and I would like basically stay in 82 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:53,480 Speaker 1: Scott's room and then Zach would come back and Zach's like, 83 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:59,560 Speaker 1: who is this? You have a new girlfriend? I mean bunny? Yeah? 84 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,920 Speaker 1: Got wow, wow, wow wow wow. Well, you guys are 85 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:06,360 Speaker 1: such a wonderful couple. You guys are such a great 86 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:10,120 Speaker 1: parenting couple. And just I just see how you guys work. 87 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:11,920 Speaker 1: We've been lucky enough that you guys have come over 88 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:14,240 Speaker 1: a few times for hangs, and I just feel like, 89 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:18,880 Speaker 1: you guys are great parents. Um, You're both so involved, 90 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:22,200 Speaker 1: and you both work. You just have it all going on. 91 00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:24,560 Speaker 1: You guys are really supportive of each other. And god, 92 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:26,760 Speaker 1: I just feel like you guys have really been through 93 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:29,760 Speaker 1: something that you know, even my you know, my husband 94 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:31,440 Speaker 1: and I have been together sixteen years and we've never 95 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:36,560 Speaker 1: gone through anything like this, like anything even remotely as serious. 96 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:39,400 Speaker 1: I think we got like thrown into the deep end 97 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:43,120 Speaker 1: after the Huntington's. I think of our relationship as like 98 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:47,320 Speaker 1: before Huntington's and after Huntington's, just because of the effect 99 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:52,440 Speaker 1: it has had on our relationship. But honestly, it's tightened 100 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:55,400 Speaker 1: our bond. So it's like like a zipper, Like we 101 00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:59,479 Speaker 1: were just inseparable after that, and we've depended on each 102 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:04,160 Speaker 1: other through so much that it has strengthened our relationship 103 00:06:04,279 --> 00:06:07,040 Speaker 1: quite a bit. I've wanted you to come on forever 104 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:08,880 Speaker 1: because I think you're just such an amazing mom, but 105 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:14,960 Speaker 1: also you have such a wild story. Tell us about 106 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:18,760 Speaker 1: Huntington's disease, what it is, how you found out you 107 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:25,159 Speaker 1: had it, and how that affected your wanting to have babies. Yeah, um, okay, 108 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:28,839 Speaker 1: So for anybody that doesn't know, Huntington's disease is a 109 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:33,039 Speaker 1: genetic disorder and it causes the breakdown of nerve cells 110 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:36,479 Speaker 1: in the brain, so it deteriorates your physical and mental 111 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:39,919 Speaker 1: abilities at the same time. So people describe it. The 112 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:42,000 Speaker 1: easy way to say it is it's a l S 113 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:49,080 Speaker 1: and Parkinson's and Alzheimer's simultaneously. Come the fuck. Yeah, it's 114 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:51,800 Speaker 1: a really fucked up And like, how did you and 115 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:54,240 Speaker 1: we can curse, how did you find it? Wondering? I 116 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:55,960 Speaker 1: was like, yeah, I curse all the time, I have 117 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,680 Speaker 1: a mess, but but how did you find out that 118 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:02,480 Speaker 1: you had this? Right? So, um, the year after Scott 119 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:05,359 Speaker 1: and I got married, we were at Christmas with my 120 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:09,359 Speaker 1: family in San Antonio, Texas. My mom set us down 121 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:12,600 Speaker 1: and she had been seeing some doctors because she had 122 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:15,480 Speaker 1: she felt like she had numbness and she couldn't really 123 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:19,160 Speaker 1: understand what was going on. The neurologist diagnosed or with 124 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:23,840 Speaker 1: Huntington's disease, and she went and she got tested without 125 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:27,600 Speaker 1: telling any of us, and she had it. How do 126 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:29,880 Speaker 1: they test for it? Is it like they draw blood 127 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:32,880 Speaker 1: or how do you know? Yes, it's a blood draw 128 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:35,800 Speaker 1: and it cheeks blob I'm trying to remember. Um. But 129 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:39,480 Speaker 1: it's the kind of good thing is that we know 130 00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:42,400 Speaker 1: where it comes from. So with Alzheimer's we don't really 131 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:45,120 Speaker 1: understand where it comes from. But with Huntington's, it's a 132 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:49,040 Speaker 1: specific gene and it's a defective gene, so it releases 133 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:52,920 Speaker 1: this protein that basically attacks everything from your body. There's 134 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:54,640 Speaker 1: a test for it. You can go get tested to 135 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:57,880 Speaker 1: see if you have this gene, and any child of 136 00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:00,840 Speaker 1: a parent that has HD, which is what it's called, 137 00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:06,200 Speaker 1: has a fifty chance of having it. Holy shit balls 138 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:10,800 Speaker 1: And not like, oh you might develop this thing later 139 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:13,720 Speaker 1: in life or no, you are going to develop it, 140 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:17,080 Speaker 1: and it's just you don't know when. Was it a 141 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,560 Speaker 1: big question for you whether or not to find out 142 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:23,200 Speaker 1: you were carrying the gene? No, you were like, I'm 143 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:27,480 Speaker 1: a finding out. Hundred was finding out. Like when we 144 00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:31,440 Speaker 1: first found out, my biggest concern was my mom dealing 145 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:38,760 Speaker 1: with this progressive degenerative disease. It was earth shattering or 146 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:43,480 Speaker 1: you know our family earth shattering. Is there varying grades 147 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:47,679 Speaker 1: of how severe and also how quickly it comes on? 148 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:53,880 Speaker 1: So yes to all of those, but there's no way 149 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:58,320 Speaker 1: of knowing. So some people get it earlier in their life, 150 00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:01,400 Speaker 1: some people get it later in their lives. Life. There 151 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:05,160 Speaker 1: is such a thing as juvenile Huntington's about ten people 152 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:08,559 Speaker 1: that have HD have juvenile Huntingtons, which is good and 153 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:12,280 Speaker 1: more devastating because now you're talking about it in children. Um. 154 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:16,840 Speaker 1: But the cognitive and the physical it's called Korea where 155 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:21,719 Speaker 1: your body has tips and movement. It's awful. There's an 156 00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:26,440 Speaker 1: awful disease. There's not a cure. And that's why you know, 157 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:30,680 Speaker 1: Scott and I are super involved with the organizations. Now, yeah, 158 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:33,040 Speaker 1: you guys are super involved with and what is the 159 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:36,920 Speaker 1: organization called We are involved with HD s A and 160 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:40,400 Speaker 1: it's the Huntington's Disease Society of America. And I'm actually 161 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:45,400 Speaker 1: on the board of directors now ye are yeah, um, 162 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:49,120 Speaker 1: And we always participate very heavily and freeze h D, 163 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:50,960 Speaker 1: which is the gallop that we do for a year 164 00:09:51,559 --> 00:09:55,400 Speaker 1: freeze HD. That's usually in the fall and then throughout 165 00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:57,320 Speaker 1: the year. If you want to get involved find out 166 00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:01,160 Speaker 1: more information. It's h D s A, which is Huntington's 167 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:05,520 Speaker 1: Disease Society of America. HM. When you got the earth 168 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:09,360 Speaker 1: shattering news that you're dealing with a your mom who 169 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:13,400 Speaker 1: has a very awful disease that will change her life. 170 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,199 Speaker 1: Now you're looking at it if for your own life, 171 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:19,720 Speaker 1: and you find out the news that you too carry 172 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:23,160 Speaker 1: the gene, how did you start to come around to 173 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:25,960 Speaker 1: the idea of I want to be a mom. I'm 174 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,800 Speaker 1: going to figure this out. What are my options? Because 175 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:33,120 Speaker 1: I think this is science, that it's best. This is unbelievable, 176 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:36,760 Speaker 1: for sure, it is. It's science. Is the only way 177 00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:39,640 Speaker 1: that we had kids h D free like it is 178 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:44,520 Speaker 1: the only way. The second that we left Christmas with 179 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:46,679 Speaker 1: my parents, after finding out my mom how to h D, 180 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:49,719 Speaker 1: I looked at Scott and I said, I've got to 181 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:52,560 Speaker 1: go get tested. I want to be a mom for 182 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:55,560 Speaker 1: as long as I can. We've got to get tested 183 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:59,360 Speaker 1: so that we can have kids. That became my drive 184 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:02,720 Speaker 1: and the phoecus um And because of that, I think 185 00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:06,199 Speaker 1: I was able to deal with everything that came along 186 00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:09,360 Speaker 1: with it a little easier because I had a focus, 187 00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:11,880 Speaker 1: had a purpose. I was gonna go get tested, and 188 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:14,800 Speaker 1: then if I didn't have it, whatever, we would have 189 00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:20,960 Speaker 1: kids the good old fashioned fun way. And I had it, 190 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:23,480 Speaker 1: we could then focus on how to make it happen 191 00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:29,760 Speaker 1: that way. And it's called UM pg D I VF right, 192 00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:33,439 Speaker 1: which stands for guys, here we go. Pre am plantation, 193 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:39,200 Speaker 1: genetic diagnosis in vitro fertilization. Yes, you get a star. 194 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:44,920 Speaker 1: It's written down in my note. So basically you have 195 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:49,120 Speaker 1: an egg retrieval process. They shoot you up with hormones 196 00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:51,960 Speaker 1: like you and I VF. You get put out for 197 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:54,920 Speaker 1: a short in it twenty minutes or whatever. They take 198 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:57,600 Speaker 1: out the eggs when it's they say it's go time, 199 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:03,400 Speaker 1: and then they test each embryo. They test the embryo, 200 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:06,400 Speaker 1: so they have to make the embryo because what happens 201 00:12:06,679 --> 00:12:10,959 Speaker 1: is Scott also has that gene, but his gene is good. 202 00:12:11,679 --> 00:12:13,800 Speaker 1: My gene is the faulty gene. So they have to 203 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:16,480 Speaker 1: make the embryo and then they have to test to 204 00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:20,800 Speaker 1: see what embryo's inherited my faulty gene and what embryo's 205 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:28,160 Speaker 1: got Scott's good gene. Oh my god, this is so crazy. 206 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:30,640 Speaker 1: In order to do this, they explained it to us 207 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:33,200 Speaker 1: as they had to make a probe to stick into 208 00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:36,160 Speaker 1: the embryos, and they needed the d n A of me, 209 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:41,000 Speaker 1: of Scott, of my mom, and my dad so that 210 00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:48,320 Speaker 1: they could figure out what genes. Guys, are you listening 211 00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:52,600 Speaker 1: to this? Like, what the fucking hell? This is unbelievable 212 00:12:52,679 --> 00:12:55,720 Speaker 1: to me? And then how do you pick choose? What 213 00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:58,800 Speaker 1: were the conversations you and Scott were having at this time? 214 00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:03,760 Speaker 1: So then we got twelve embryos and seven had Huntington's 215 00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:07,160 Speaker 1: and five were clear. So those seven that had Huntington's 216 00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:12,679 Speaker 1: we actually donated back to Science for research because we 217 00:13:12,679 --> 00:13:16,640 Speaker 1: were not going to use them um and Science had 218 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:21,080 Speaker 1: already given us a lot, so we did that, and 219 00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:23,920 Speaker 1: then we were left with five. Think of it this way, 220 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:27,120 Speaker 1: it's a coin flip, right, So everyone is a coin flip. 221 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:32,480 Speaker 1: So it's just you don't know, the odds are not 222 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:36,280 Speaker 1: there fifty per embryo, so it could have swung all 223 00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:39,920 Speaker 1: in that direction. Wow. But I was young and I 224 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:42,560 Speaker 1: didn't have fertility problems. That's why I wish because we 225 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:45,240 Speaker 1: had a lot of embryos, right, twelve. Yeah, I mean 226 00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:47,800 Speaker 1: I've I've just been through egg freezing with like four 227 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:50,880 Speaker 1: of my friends this past year, and the lack of 228 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,520 Speaker 1: dating has put a real wake up call and a 229 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:56,200 Speaker 1: lot of my friends who don't have a significant others 230 00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:58,520 Speaker 1: and they're over forty and let me tell you, twelve 231 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:02,240 Speaker 1: is a very good number, Like that is high as buck. Yeah. No, 232 00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:06,120 Speaker 1: I had they retrieved thirty. I had thirty three follicles. 233 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:10,040 Speaker 1: Oh my god. Trying to remember how old I was. 234 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:13,600 Speaker 1: I was like in my twenties. So there, I was like, right, 235 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:17,839 Speaker 1: So the implantation process, did it take right away the 236 00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:21,040 Speaker 1: first embryo that was chosen? Did you pick I don't 237 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:22,480 Speaker 1: know if you want to talk. Did you pick a 238 00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:24,920 Speaker 1: boy on purpose? Did you just like, how do you 239 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:27,440 Speaker 1: do that? Yeah? Well, I don't know. I don't know 240 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:30,040 Speaker 1: what the right answer is. We just told our doctor, like, 241 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:33,320 Speaker 1: you choose one that you think is healthiest and put 242 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:36,400 Speaker 1: it in me and we'll see what happens. And so 243 00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:40,720 Speaker 1: she did and it took and uh then it was 244 00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:53,600 Speaker 1: a little boy and we were over the moon. How 245 00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:57,240 Speaker 1: was your pregnancy? Does Huntington's show up at all when 246 00:14:57,320 --> 00:15:00,320 Speaker 1: there's this many hormones and changes in fluctuation in your 247 00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:04,240 Speaker 1: body or is it completely dormant and doesn't matter? No? Yeah, 248 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:07,720 Speaker 1: the Huntington's basically is just building up. The protein builds 249 00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:11,240 Speaker 1: up inside your body until you finally see symptoms. So, 250 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:15,960 Speaker 1: but it doesn't affect until it's built up enough. Got it. 251 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,800 Speaker 1: So it didn't affect my pregnancies. My pregnancies weren't that. 252 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:21,200 Speaker 1: I had collistasis with McCoy. Do you even know what 253 00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:25,360 Speaker 1: that is? That? What's that? Well? Are you ready for this? 254 00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:30,280 Speaker 1: It's a weird disease seem to hit the lottery on um. 255 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:34,200 Speaker 1: It's basically where your liver stops processing the bile and 256 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:38,560 Speaker 1: your body. And so at thirty seven weeks I went 257 00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:43,400 Speaker 1: in for my checkup and uh, my O B was like, uh, 258 00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:46,120 Speaker 1: is there any symptoms that have been happening? You're feeling fine? 259 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:48,680 Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, I'm fine. And Scott's like she's been 260 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:53,080 Speaker 1: really itchy on her hands and her feet, like crazy itchy, 261 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:55,800 Speaker 1: Like I would make him scratch my feet and weight 262 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:58,000 Speaker 1: me up at night. And I was like, maybe that's 263 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:02,040 Speaker 1: not anything. And my b said, well, just let's run 264 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:04,280 Speaker 1: this test. It's real rare, but we'll run it. They 265 00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:07,800 Speaker 1: ran it, and sure enough, I had what's called cola stasis, 266 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:11,400 Speaker 1: and one of the symptoms is having insanely itchy hands 267 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:14,840 Speaker 1: and feet. I know one other person, Casey Wilson. Do 268 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:18,360 Speaker 1: you know this actress, Casey Wilson. No, she's been a 269 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:21,800 Speaker 1: guest on Katie scrib but she was on Happy Endings. 270 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:28,120 Speaker 1: She had cola stasis and her calfs and lower legs 271 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:31,000 Speaker 1: were itching like a fucking motherfucker. And rushed her in. 272 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:36,280 Speaker 1: They induced her, but like, so your liver just stops functioning. Yeah, 273 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:39,760 Speaker 1: it just stops, like the bio builds up in your body. Basically, 274 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:44,080 Speaker 1: it's bizarre. Good. They did the same thing. Rushed me 275 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:48,600 Speaker 1: in potosan forced it out forty forty four hours of 276 00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:53,800 Speaker 1: labor and it ended in a section No what so 277 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:57,240 Speaker 1: And you're like the most so for you guys listening. 278 00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:59,600 Speaker 1: You can't see her, but she's like literally the physically 279 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:02,400 Speaker 1: strongest woman. I know, I'm not kidding, Like how many 280 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:04,879 Speaker 1: you can run like a lot of miles like you 281 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,280 Speaker 1: are like very physically fit. Okay, I want you to 282 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:10,520 Speaker 1: picture like a hard core cheerleader, like you run, you 283 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:13,359 Speaker 1: do pilates, like you worked out so like the fact 284 00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:16,199 Speaker 1: that you ended up in a C section, like was 285 00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:18,560 Speaker 1: it just stopping? Like did you get the epidural in 286 00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:20,919 Speaker 1: the potocon and your body was not responding or the 287 00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:24,760 Speaker 1: baby was in stress? I got the potosan no epidural 288 00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:27,520 Speaker 1: and then twenty four hours in ended up with the 289 00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:33,320 Speaker 1: epidural and then uh yeah, he was just stuck. So 290 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,359 Speaker 1: you were dilating anymore and he just and you were like, 291 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,840 Speaker 1: I mean they were forced, they were forcing me, right, 292 00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:42,200 Speaker 1: So they did the fully balloon? Oh yeah, I had 293 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:45,920 Speaker 1: is all of it. I have the most embarrassing story 294 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:49,680 Speaker 1: about the fully balloon what like I shouldn't say it, Okay, 295 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:51,960 Speaker 1: then don't, but if you want to, if you want to, 296 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:54,199 Speaker 1: you can. But there is absolutely no pressure here. I 297 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,000 Speaker 1: had a fully balloon to which, by the way, then 298 00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:57,440 Speaker 1: I went to work on Scandal and I said to 299 00:17:57,440 --> 00:18:01,399 Speaker 1: Scott fully is this from your fun? You like you? 300 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,879 Speaker 1: This medieval torture device that's in the shape of a 301 00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:08,680 Speaker 1: balloon that's like put intoside my vagina and slowly, over 302 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:12,320 Speaker 1: time the balloon is blown up. Yeah, I'll tell you 303 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:15,480 Speaker 1: the story. Tell me. So when I went in, they 304 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:18,240 Speaker 1: gave me like the pill on your cervix to soften 305 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:21,240 Speaker 1: it and start opening, and then they inserted the fully balloon. 306 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:25,520 Speaker 1: And I had been there a while, and I, being 307 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:27,399 Speaker 1: a woman who had knocked one through birth before, I 308 00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:30,680 Speaker 1: was terrified of pooping. Of great, I did not want 309 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:33,439 Speaker 1: to poop while giving birth. Now I could give two ships, 310 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:37,240 Speaker 1: but back then I was tear literally, I was terrified 311 00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:39,760 Speaker 1: of it. So I had the fully balloon in and 312 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:40,879 Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, I think you have 313 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:44,560 Speaker 1: to poop. This is great. I'll poop before I give 314 00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:46,880 Speaker 1: birth and then I won't poop while giving birth. Great. 315 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:51,560 Speaker 1: I like, take my little ivy bag of potocin and 316 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:53,960 Speaker 1: the fully balloon and I'm like, babe, helped me get 317 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:57,280 Speaker 1: to the bathroom. Scott takes me to the bathroom and 318 00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:59,679 Speaker 1: I sit down and I'm like, this is great poop 319 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:03,000 Speaker 1: and the fucking fully balloon comes out into the poop 320 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:09,480 Speaker 1: and I fully balloon. I am freaking out because one 321 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:12,520 Speaker 1: nobody told me it was supposed to come out, so 322 00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:17,560 Speaker 1: I thought something wrong. So I'm like Scott, Scott, and 323 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:20,359 Speaker 1: he comes rushing it and I'm like, I pooped in 324 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:24,119 Speaker 1: the thing came out, and he's like, okay, and God 325 00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:27,520 Speaker 1: bless him, God bless his knees, and he's like plucking 326 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:31,280 Speaker 1: the way. I think if I hold the balloon and 327 00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:33,879 Speaker 1: we flushed the toilet, the poop will go down. But 328 00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:38,280 Speaker 1: the jack we're devising this plan together to try and 329 00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:40,399 Speaker 1: get out of this situation. I've gotten us in and 330 00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:43,600 Speaker 1: the nurse walks around the corner and she's like, honey, 331 00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:49,120 Speaker 1: what are you doing. Get up off the floor. This 332 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:54,040 Speaker 1: is my job. This is no big deal. O my god. Yes, 333 00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:58,240 Speaker 1: and everybody fucking poops. Also the fully balloon, what it 334 00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:01,080 Speaker 1: meant was that you were probably forced meters dilated and 335 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:04,200 Speaker 1: the fully balloon came out when it was supposed to. Yes, exactly, 336 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:06,520 Speaker 1: but we did not know that. And I love my 337 00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:08,639 Speaker 1: husband so much because he did not care. He was 338 00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:10,520 Speaker 1: going to get me out of the situation. I'd tell 339 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:13,040 Speaker 1: you know, he's the real deal. That was the only 340 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,840 Speaker 1: poop I had prior and then with Clover I had 341 00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:18,600 Speaker 1: already had a c section, and I had already done 342 00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:20,960 Speaker 1: forty four hours of labor, and I just didn't feel 343 00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:24,240 Speaker 1: like doing it again. So I just scheduled a c 344 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:27,720 Speaker 1: section with her perfect And did you always know you 345 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:31,360 Speaker 1: wanted to? Yes, we always wanted to. At one point, 346 00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:33,320 Speaker 1: Scott one at three and then we had one, and 347 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:36,920 Speaker 1: he's like two is good? Great? Great? Great? And how 348 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:38,879 Speaker 1: did you pay? Did you want a girl? Did you 349 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:41,439 Speaker 1: do the same thing to the to your doctor, like 350 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:42,960 Speaker 1: pick the healthiest one, or you were like, I want 351 00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:46,840 Speaker 1: a girl. Yeah. We looked at it as our silver lining. 352 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:50,439 Speaker 1: We're just gonna choose the girl after all the crap 353 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:53,640 Speaker 1: I would have, Are you kidding? Yes, after all the 354 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:57,240 Speaker 1: like shit, I would like to be a mother of 355 00:20:57,240 --> 00:21:01,000 Speaker 1: a girl. Also, you know, yes, please, thank so much. Yep, 356 00:21:01,119 --> 00:21:03,320 Speaker 1: that's what we did. We love to say that my 357 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:06,439 Speaker 1: daughter is like very old for her age. She's very mature. 358 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:11,560 Speaker 1: Is she's always been that way, Like she's just very mature. 359 00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:14,040 Speaker 1: And we we always say, well, she sat on ice 360 00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:16,919 Speaker 1: for two years, so she just must she must have 361 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:21,080 Speaker 1: this old soult. Because her and McCoy were the same group. 362 00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:24,520 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, they're kind of I mean it's so weird. 363 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:28,679 Speaker 1: That's so weird. They're the same embryonic age. Is that 364 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:31,639 Speaker 1: a thing? I don't know, but it's like, you know, 365 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,399 Speaker 1: they would have been if it would have been normal, 366 00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:38,919 Speaker 1: they would have been fraternal twins. Wow, this is so weird. Cool, 367 00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:43,200 Speaker 1: it's so cool. Have you and Scott, I mean they're 368 00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,399 Speaker 1: so young, but like, have you guys talked to them 369 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:47,680 Speaker 1: at all about hunting this disease? They know what it is? 370 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:51,600 Speaker 1: How did those conversations happen? Do we have a plan 371 00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:56,800 Speaker 1: for that? That's funny should say that because I was 372 00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:59,600 Speaker 1: just telling Scott we needed to talk to our nursery 373 00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:02,040 Speaker 1: school about how we're going to approach it kind of 374 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:05,639 Speaker 1: going forward. Because Scott and I am very open that 375 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:09,600 Speaker 1: I have Huntington's and always getting older, and he does 376 00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:12,760 Speaker 1: not know that I have it. Um. He knows that 377 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:15,720 Speaker 1: my mom has it, and we've talked to him about 378 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,520 Speaker 1: what it does because she does have symptoms and we 379 00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:24,120 Speaker 1: want him to be emphatic um more than anything. So 380 00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:27,400 Speaker 1: he knows Gammy has it what he calls my mom 381 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:30,720 Speaker 1: cute um, but he doesn't know I have it, and 382 00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:35,280 Speaker 1: Clover doesn't either, So there's so little they're so little, 383 00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:40,119 Speaker 1: but they know so much. It's so wonderful. And I 384 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:44,440 Speaker 1: feel like everyone should use their teachers more because they 385 00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:46,960 Speaker 1: I think if you have a teacher, you love getting 386 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:51,280 Speaker 1: their advice of how to approach kids with some big, 387 00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:56,199 Speaker 1: big hard topics is always another avenue of where to 388 00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,640 Speaker 1: get advice from. I'm sure they will be very helpful, 389 00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:01,400 Speaker 1: you know. I feel that what you're saying goes back 390 00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:04,479 Speaker 1: to just allowing your community to help you, right, Like 391 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:07,800 Speaker 1: reaching out and finding somebody in your community to help 392 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:11,399 Speaker 1: you navigate a tough subject is good. That's what we 393 00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:14,600 Speaker 1: should be doing that with people in our community. For sure. 394 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:20,360 Speaker 1: You take such a better left turn at boundaries and 395 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:25,560 Speaker 1: limits than I do. You are so good at setting 396 00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:29,080 Speaker 1: loving boundaries, which I've had to learn as a parent 397 00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:31,520 Speaker 1: that that is a form of love. Like I was 398 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:33,439 Speaker 1: such a goody two shoe as a kid. I didn't 399 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:37,240 Speaker 1: need limits set. I was such a rule follower, and 400 00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:39,920 Speaker 1: my son is really not. And it took me so 401 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:42,919 Speaker 1: long to understand that setting boundaries and limits is like 402 00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:44,720 Speaker 1: a loving thing to do. It's not like a bad 403 00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:51,520 Speaker 1: thing to do. I suck at it. So if you're no, 404 00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:54,440 Speaker 1: you're great, Like, how are you so good at it, 405 00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:57,399 Speaker 1: but it's not. I might be good at it, but 406 00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:00,760 Speaker 1: one I've had more practice than you. My son is 407 00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:03,360 Speaker 1: six years old and he's pushing the boundaries like crazy 408 00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:07,879 Speaker 1: right now. But I am a huge, huge believer in 409 00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:10,720 Speaker 1: boundaries because I feel like it's the only way where 410 00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:14,120 Speaker 1: I actually get them to listen to me. And it sucks, 411 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:17,400 Speaker 1: and it sucks to say fifty times, I will not 412 00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:19,960 Speaker 1: let you do that. I cannot let you do that. McCoy, 413 00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:22,680 Speaker 1: I cannot let you do that, but I won't give in. 414 00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:26,959 Speaker 1: And when that boundary is set, they know they're safe 415 00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:31,600 Speaker 1: and they're secure in there, and they just feel better 416 00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,080 Speaker 1: in life. I feel like they feel better in their 417 00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:38,080 Speaker 1: emotions and their feelings. You can have the big cry. 418 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:41,840 Speaker 1: I am okay with you expressing your emotions. I'll hold 419 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:44,119 Speaker 1: you while you do it, but we're not going to 420 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,640 Speaker 1: do the thing you want to do. Can you give 421 00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:49,119 Speaker 1: an example right now, like a boundary, Like tell me 422 00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:51,920 Speaker 1: what I'm looking down the pipe? That's a six year 423 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:56,200 Speaker 1: old son. He's just very um, what's the word I'm 424 00:24:56,200 --> 00:25:01,800 Speaker 1: looking for. So he's just very defiant right now. He's 425 00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:05,840 Speaker 1: very not defiant. He's a very good kid. He's great 426 00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:11,000 Speaker 1: in school, but defiant in I was like, okay, it's 427 00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:13,960 Speaker 1: bed time, and now we've regressed back to like, no, 428 00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:16,679 Speaker 1: I don't want to go to bed where it's like 429 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:19,640 Speaker 1: we've moved past that. It's been years since he did that, 430 00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:24,119 Speaker 1: but it seems like the defiancy. Yep, so I'm in 431 00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:27,479 Speaker 1: defiancy too. I don't know, but my four year I mean, 432 00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:33,520 Speaker 1: Albie is unbelievably defiant, challenging, strategic. Give him an inch, 433 00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:36,960 Speaker 1: she takes a mile. I mean it's like mastermindful. It's 434 00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:39,880 Speaker 1: crazy well, and I feel like when I do give 435 00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:43,280 Speaker 1: them an inch, it gets a million times worse. I 436 00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:46,720 Speaker 1: just try to like lock down the boundaries and tighten them. 437 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:49,199 Speaker 1: And when I feel them really pushing, I pushed the 438 00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:52,880 Speaker 1: boundary even farther and I almost make I almost pick 439 00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:55,880 Speaker 1: a fight, if that makes sense. Like I can see 440 00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:59,520 Speaker 1: that they're teetering on their emotions, that it's there, it's 441 00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:02,280 Speaker 1: ready to come out, but it hasn't come out yet, 442 00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:06,080 Speaker 1: and I will choose something to say no one, just 443 00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:09,040 Speaker 1: out of the blue, like well, let's read this book tonight. 444 00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:12,440 Speaker 1: Well we're not going to read that book tonight, just no, 445 00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:15,119 Speaker 1: just so that we can get the feelings out, because 446 00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:18,680 Speaker 1: I feel like once he cries and has the feelings, 447 00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:23,080 Speaker 1: we can move past them. But until that moment of 448 00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:28,360 Speaker 1: him having the outburst, they're just sitting at the surface, bubbling, 449 00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:31,480 Speaker 1: and it disturbs everything we have for the day. I know, 450 00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:34,359 Speaker 1: it's so true. I know, and you know the feeling 451 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:39,359 Speaker 1: has nothing to do with that. Oh my god, I'm like, 452 00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,400 Speaker 1: so it's just like I just pick an arbitrary thing 453 00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:44,920 Speaker 1: to pick the fight about. Wow, it's smart, just STI 454 00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,960 Speaker 1: get it out. Yeah, that's really good. How are they 455 00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:52,040 Speaker 1: and getting along? They love it too? And do they 456 00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:55,159 Speaker 1: ever physically fight? I'm just asking because I'm like, is 457 00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:57,560 Speaker 1: that what's coming? What am I gonna do? My kids 458 00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:01,159 Speaker 1: don't physically fight? Is she trying to take choice from him? 459 00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:03,440 Speaker 1: Him take choice from her? What does that look like? No, 460 00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:06,600 Speaker 1: I think the pandemic had something to do with it, 461 00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:11,000 Speaker 1: But my kids are insanely blips. They spend every night 462 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:14,040 Speaker 1: that they can't in a bed together. They have slumber 463 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:17,440 Speaker 1: parties on the weekends because that's what they want to do. Um. 464 00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:19,400 Speaker 1: I told him no school nights, and like, you can't 465 00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:21,680 Speaker 1: do it on a school night. Do they share a bedroom? 466 00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:24,680 Speaker 1: Or no, No. We thought about moving Clover in because 467 00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:27,480 Speaker 1: they wanted to. But I just want to be able 468 00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:29,359 Speaker 1: to put them in separate beds if I need. It's 469 00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:31,679 Speaker 1: all about that boundary, right, Like if I if they 470 00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:35,280 Speaker 1: shared a bedroom, um, then I couldn't say, like if 471 00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:37,480 Speaker 1: they're testing bed okay, well tonight, it's going to be 472 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,879 Speaker 1: a night. You can't sleep together if you can't follow 473 00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:43,440 Speaker 1: the rules and listen to mom or progress forward in bedtime. 474 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:47,719 Speaker 1: But they want to be together. That is so cute 475 00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:50,440 Speaker 1: that they are so close. You know what a blessing 476 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:53,400 Speaker 1: that is. I mean, it's just so wonderful that they 477 00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:56,880 Speaker 1: have each other, you know, like through everything that will 478 00:27:57,680 --> 00:28:01,480 Speaker 1: come their way, it's just got And that they're close 479 00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:04,000 Speaker 1: and that they get along. You know, I'm really really 480 00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:07,000 Speaker 1: close with my brother, and I'm so fucking grateful. I 481 00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:09,520 Speaker 1: love that. I hope it sticks. And like I said, 482 00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:12,240 Speaker 1: I think COVID then just look, if you're gonna play 483 00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:14,280 Speaker 1: with them, your sister is the person you're gonna play with, 484 00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:17,520 Speaker 1: so figure it out, you know. Wow. And also that 485 00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:20,000 Speaker 1: they were in the same pod at school. They were 486 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:22,320 Speaker 1: in the same pod at school, they were together all 487 00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:37,440 Speaker 1: the time. They didn't have time apart. Wow, Wow, parenting styles? 488 00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:41,280 Speaker 1: Who is the disciplinarian? Because I think it's you? Is 489 00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:46,960 Speaker 1: it you? Yeah, it's for sure. Scott can discipline as well. 490 00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:51,800 Speaker 1: But I'm with them, you know, more more discient. I 491 00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:57,440 Speaker 1: am with them, so I probably over explain everything, um 492 00:28:57,440 --> 00:29:00,640 Speaker 1: to the point of them not and knowing what I'm 493 00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:03,600 Speaker 1: talking about. No, you are very verbal. You don't talk 494 00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:06,520 Speaker 1: to them like their babies. You respect them as individuals. 495 00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:11,840 Speaker 1: Do you and Scott ever have major Are you guys 496 00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:14,800 Speaker 1: always united? I mean we always try to be united 497 00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:16,560 Speaker 1: front in front of our kids no matter what. But 498 00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:20,880 Speaker 1: do you guys have major any like differing parenting styles 499 00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:24,280 Speaker 1: that someone's had to budge on or move or learn change? 500 00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:30,040 Speaker 1: I mean, for sure, we There's been quite a few. 501 00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:32,840 Speaker 1: I think that that both of us have had to 502 00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:36,560 Speaker 1: decide how we were going to move forward together with 503 00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:39,320 Speaker 1: right and especially because when you become a parent, you 504 00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:41,320 Speaker 1: don't know how to parent, You don't know what your 505 00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:44,200 Speaker 1: parenting style is going to be. You couldn't even define that. 506 00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:50,080 Speaker 1: So especially me, I am a I like knowledge. I 507 00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:55,360 Speaker 1: like information, So I read books, I research everything, um, 508 00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:59,240 Speaker 1: and then I send it to Scott and I'm like, hey, 509 00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:01,520 Speaker 1: read this and then let's get on the same page, 510 00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:04,360 Speaker 1: you know, because he doesn't have all that time. They 511 00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:06,640 Speaker 1: get more as my job to try and figure out 512 00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:09,560 Speaker 1: the right moves. Can you think of any like one 513 00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:13,240 Speaker 1: or two favorite books or or resources that have been 514 00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:16,920 Speaker 1: instrumental to you in parenting? Um? Yeah, but they're not 515 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:20,480 Speaker 1: even parenting book? Does that matter? Are they? It does 516 00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:22,880 Speaker 1: not matter? What My one of my favorites is a 517 00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:27,000 Speaker 1: book called Never an Anger, And it's what's that It's 518 00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:30,800 Speaker 1: so obscure. It's so obscure. And you can blame Mary 519 00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:34,240 Speaker 1: O'Malley for me even finding this book because she sent 520 00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:37,800 Speaker 1: me this blurb from an article about like talking to 521 00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:41,080 Speaker 1: your children calmly and the effect that it has on 522 00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:45,440 Speaker 1: them versus raising your voice and being upset. And they 523 00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:49,160 Speaker 1: were referencing back to like how Inuit family used to 524 00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:51,840 Speaker 1: do it. And so of course I'm reading this article 525 00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:54,960 Speaker 1: and I'm like, well, where is this information from? Because 526 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:58,480 Speaker 1: that's just who I am. So I'm like, bibliography and bibliography, 527 00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:00,840 Speaker 1: and I go and I find this book and it's 528 00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:04,400 Speaker 1: I don't know, it's probably like six hundred pages or something, 529 00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:07,840 Speaker 1: and it's just the portrait of an Eskimo family from 530 00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:11,360 Speaker 1: like the sixties and seventies, and an anthropologist went and 531 00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:14,720 Speaker 1: lived with them, and she observed them, and she observed 532 00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:20,000 Speaker 1: how they raised their children, and she wrote it all down. 533 00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:22,640 Speaker 1: She had like a typewriter that she keeping the iglue 534 00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:26,240 Speaker 1: like she lived with a god. And it not only 535 00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:29,480 Speaker 1: is it a fascinating book because she's living with an 536 00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:34,360 Speaker 1: Eskimo family. Yeah, in the sixties, right before before the internet, 537 00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:37,880 Speaker 1: before the you know, the share of information and happened. 538 00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:42,160 Speaker 1: And she dispensed this knowledge of how they raised their children. 539 00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:45,800 Speaker 1: And they believe that a child does not have reason. 540 00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:49,640 Speaker 1: You're born without reason, and so you should be treated 541 00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:53,320 Speaker 1: as such. If you are acting out, it's not because 542 00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:57,440 Speaker 1: you're being mean, it's because you have no reason. But 543 00:31:57,560 --> 00:32:00,920 Speaker 1: as an adult, we have reason. We should be able 544 00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:04,920 Speaker 1: to control our emotions because we are the older one, 545 00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:09,040 Speaker 1: we have the experience to do so. And it really 546 00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:12,440 Speaker 1: struck me. Right, It's like, yeah, you're right, And it 547 00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:14,440 Speaker 1: could have been anybody telling me that, right, It didn't 548 00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:16,720 Speaker 1: have to read this book. No, I I think you 549 00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:19,440 Speaker 1: don't get rational thought till they're like seven. Yeah, they 550 00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:22,040 Speaker 1: don't know what they're doing. No, you're negotiating with a 551 00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:25,120 Speaker 1: terrorist so to like and also to put on them, 552 00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:27,800 Speaker 1: like when I would say like, oh, he's manipulating the situation, 553 00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:30,200 Speaker 1: it's like he doesn't know, he doesn't know what the 554 00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:33,720 Speaker 1: funk he's doing, Like he has no idea. And is 555 00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:36,760 Speaker 1: there anything else that is like a go to guide 556 00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:40,040 Speaker 1: for you? Like were you like a big Magda Gerber reader? 557 00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:47,080 Speaker 1: Janet Landsberry was always Janet Janetmazing, She's amazing. She's an 558 00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:52,760 Speaker 1: amazing podcast called Unruffled. She's fucking brill Yeah, there's a 559 00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:56,680 Speaker 1: Janet Landsbury book that I swear by called No Bad Kids. 560 00:32:56,760 --> 00:32:59,640 Speaker 1: I Um, it's funny. I had a friend who had 561 00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:01,600 Speaker 1: just the come a mom and she told me that 562 00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:03,960 Speaker 1: she was at her friend's house and Janet Landsbury lived 563 00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:08,760 Speaker 1: next door, and it was like celebrity siding right because 564 00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:11,480 Speaker 1: it was Janet Landsbury. And she was so excited to 565 00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:13,560 Speaker 1: tell me because I was the other mom, and I 566 00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:18,280 Speaker 1: was like, you saw Janet Landsbury? It was like it 567 00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:20,760 Speaker 1: was so funny. Is the best? I'm like, the best, 568 00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:24,840 Speaker 1: the best? Okay, as we're wrapping up, what the heck 569 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:26,880 Speaker 1: is your parenting advice? And teach me how to be 570 00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:30,760 Speaker 1: as good at it as you are. I think I 571 00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:32,760 Speaker 1: have to have more play dates with you. Honestly, I 572 00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:34,360 Speaker 1: think if I had more play dates, you would just 573 00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:36,640 Speaker 1: rub off on me. Well, we will have you over 574 00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:39,960 Speaker 1: when the other you want, please, Okay, okay. So my 575 00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:44,280 Speaker 1: number one thing, my motto in life, which reflects down 576 00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:47,400 Speaker 1: to my parenting, is everyone is different. I want to 577 00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:49,080 Speaker 1: put it on a T shirt. I want to ride 578 00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:51,840 Speaker 1: it on my kids walls. Everyone is different, and it 579 00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:56,600 Speaker 1: literally works for any situation everything. Yes, so my son 580 00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:58,920 Speaker 1: comes home, you know, why does my friend get to 581 00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:02,560 Speaker 1: go to Disneyland all the time. Well, every family is different, 582 00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:05,640 Speaker 1: and every family value is going to Disneyland different. So 583 00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:10,000 Speaker 1: while you know they go often because it's something that's 584 00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:13,480 Speaker 1: important to them, we treat it like a celebration. So 585 00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:17,680 Speaker 1: we go list. Everyone is different, works for everything, works 586 00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:21,439 Speaker 1: for everything, especially as they get older, like it really does. 587 00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:25,759 Speaker 1: So everyone is different is my number one saying in 588 00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:30,120 Speaker 1: life and in my family. I love it. I'm stealing 589 00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:34,760 Speaker 1: that ship. It's good. Everyone is different. Everyone is different, different, 590 00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:37,520 Speaker 1: I mean it works for everything. And you know, McCoy 591 00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:39,040 Speaker 1: came home the other day and he wears his hair 592 00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:42,439 Speaker 1: in a ponytail long and shaved underneath, and he wears 593 00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:45,279 Speaker 1: in pony Town and he said, Mom, my friend. My 594 00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:49,440 Speaker 1: friend said I have girl's hair, which I'm like, really like, 595 00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:54,680 Speaker 1: aren't we And we live in l A. And I said, 596 00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:56,879 Speaker 1: what did you say? And he said I just told 597 00:34:56,920 --> 00:35:00,480 Speaker 1: him that everyone is different and everyone wears their hair afferently. 598 00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:06,080 Speaker 1: And I said, yeah, buddy, that's right, Yeah, buddy, that's right. 599 00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:10,080 Speaker 1: And then I said, also, it's only an insult if 600 00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:11,880 Speaker 1: you think being a girl is an insult. Do you 601 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:15,160 Speaker 1: think being a girl is an insult? Like, no, Mom, 602 00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:19,880 Speaker 1: you're cool glower school. Yeah, so we're all good. Great answer, 603 00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:23,840 Speaker 1: great answer, um. And then I have three things that 604 00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:29,160 Speaker 1: I want my children to be always kind, adaptable, intolerant. 605 00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:31,720 Speaker 1: I don't care what else they learn in the world. 606 00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:35,239 Speaker 1: They will academics and all that stuff. They'll figure it out, 607 00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:39,520 Speaker 1: but I want them to be kind, adaptable. All right, 608 00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:43,880 Speaker 1: big doors, see you guys listening. Do you see why 609 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:48,560 Speaker 1: Kelsey Porter is a fucking incredible mom. You're also just 610 00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:53,480 Speaker 1: so grounded and strong. I'm just like so wishy washy. 611 00:35:53,520 --> 00:35:57,560 Speaker 1: I'm like, what's happening. It's just it's great. We gotta 612 00:35:57,600 --> 00:35:59,560 Speaker 1: hang out more. You gotta rub off on me a 613 00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:02,719 Speaker 1: good best to you, this is amazing. Tell me, I 614 00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:04,760 Speaker 1: think we touched on it a little bit, but again 615 00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:08,480 Speaker 1: just to say it. You guys. HD Freeze is a 616 00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:13,399 Speaker 1: yearly gala um. There's awesome stuff that's auctioned off every year, 617 00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:19,120 Speaker 1: like awesome holiday like Hollywood celebrity ship, sports stuff, memorabilia, 618 00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:22,360 Speaker 1: signed stuff, and all of the proceeds go to it. 619 00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:24,440 Speaker 1: All goes to h d s A. And to date 620 00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:28,960 Speaker 1: we've raised over one point three million dollars and just 621 00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:33,040 Speaker 1: like the past seven years. So it's a huge event 622 00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:36,640 Speaker 1: and it's actually changing people's lives because all of that 623 00:36:36,719 --> 00:36:39,840 Speaker 1: money goes back to making centers and making sure that 624 00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:43,480 Speaker 1: people and families have the support that they need to 625 00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:46,200 Speaker 1: battle this awful disease. Because it's not just the person 626 00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:49,400 Speaker 1: that has HD, right, it's the whole family. You all 627 00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:53,120 Speaker 1: become caretakers. Everybody has a chance of having it and 628 00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:56,920 Speaker 1: it just spreads like wildfire. No, it affects a lot 629 00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:58,799 Speaker 1: of people. Do you know what the number how many 630 00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:03,160 Speaker 1: people in America to have? So people in America are 631 00:37:03,239 --> 00:37:07,640 Speaker 1: symptomatic with it and then another like four hundred thousand 632 00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:12,920 Speaker 1: or are at risk of having it. Wow, most people 633 00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:16,879 Speaker 1: don't get tested, so most people in my situation, they 634 00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:24,480 Speaker 1: choose not to know. Um, it's very it's hard. I 635 00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:28,279 Speaker 1: think you know you're saying I'm grounded. I think I 636 00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:30,919 Speaker 1: think it grounds me. I think that's what it does 637 00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:36,640 Speaker 1: for me. It's heavy, and I'm constantly reminded that the kids, 638 00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:39,840 Speaker 1: the mother that my kids see right now is not 639 00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:42,360 Speaker 1: the mother they will see you later in live and 640 00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:46,440 Speaker 1: so I want to be a good mom to them 641 00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:48,000 Speaker 1: now and I think that's why I put so much 642 00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:55,200 Speaker 1: effort into it. You're unfucking believable. What made me feel 643 00:37:55,320 --> 00:38:00,560 Speaker 1: so uncomfortable? No, I know so many moms, and let 644 00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:04,399 Speaker 1: me tell you, you are fucking tops like you are. 645 00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:09,160 Speaker 1: So you are doing an incredible job and your children 646 00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:13,360 Speaker 1: are incredible, and um, they're so lucky to have you. 647 00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:22,239 Speaker 1: Let's all work on getting some of these trials started, 648 00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:25,840 Speaker 1: new ones, different ones. Figure this shit out, h d 649 00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:28,680 Speaker 1: SA dot org, freeze HD. We're going to be linking 650 00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:30,200 Speaker 1: to a bunch of stuff at the time when this 651 00:38:30,719 --> 00:38:33,680 Speaker 1: podcast comes out, and I will also always be blasting 652 00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:37,360 Speaker 1: and posting when the Gala happens every year. But come on, guys, 653 00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:40,239 Speaker 1: let's get this going. Kelsey Porter, thank you so much 654 00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:42,440 Speaker 1: for being on Katie's Crapy, You're fucking awesome. You have 655 00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:45,120 Speaker 1: to come back on. Thank you for having me and 656 00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:47,520 Speaker 1: making me feel like what I have to say is 657 00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:51,480 Speaker 1: valuable because I don't look at you like that. I 658 00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:54,799 Speaker 1: really what you have to say is so valuable. I'm 659 00:38:54,840 --> 00:39:05,560 Speaker 1: thank you, Katie. Thank you guys so much for listening 660 00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:09,120 Speaker 1: to today's episode. I want to hear from you. Let's 661 00:39:09,239 --> 00:39:12,640 Speaker 1: chat questions, comments, concerns. Let me know. You can always 662 00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:15,399 Speaker 1: find me at Katie's Crib at Shonda land dot com. 663 00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:20,840 Speaker 1: Katie's Crib is a production of Shonda Land Audio in 664 00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:24,399 Speaker 1: partnership with I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from shandaland Audio, 665 00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:27,160 Speaker 1: visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever 666 00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:28,520 Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.