1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:01,360 Speaker 1: This is the press show. 2 00:00:01,600 --> 00:00:04,680 Speaker 2: Let's get you Hotel, a trip for Tunisie, Jennifer Lopez 3 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:06,960 Speaker 2: her brand new Las Vegas residency. 4 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:08,760 Speaker 1: Jennifer Lopez Up All. 5 00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:12,080 Speaker 2: Night Live in Las Vegas March thirteenth, twenty twenty six 6 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:16,279 Speaker 2: at the Coliseum at Caesar's Palace. Text dance to three 7 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:18,759 Speaker 2: seven three three seven right now for a chance to 8 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:21,560 Speaker 2: win two tickets to the March thirteenth show, a two 9 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:24,439 Speaker 2: night hotels day March twelve through the fourteenth pat the 10 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:28,120 Speaker 2: Flamingo Hotel Casino Las Vegas and Brown Trevert Fair. A 11 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:31,200 Speaker 2: confirmation text will be sent. Dennered message and data rates 12 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:33,600 Speaker 2: may apply. All thanks to Live Nation. Tickets are on 13 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:36,479 Speaker 2: sale now at ticketmaster dot com for all shows running 14 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:39,559 Speaker 2: December thirtieth through January third, and March sixth through the 15 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:44,440 Speaker 2: twenty eighth. Paulina Gigi, your daughter two and a half, 16 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:45,880 Speaker 2: one and a half, one and a half. 17 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:47,440 Speaker 1: I can't keep all these interest straight. 18 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:49,480 Speaker 2: I got Shelley's kids, I got your kids, I got 19 00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:54,160 Speaker 2: my nieces, I got my illegitimate kids. Oh you know, 20 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:56,720 Speaker 2: I got Kalin's kids AKA her sister just turned twenty one. 21 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:58,240 Speaker 1: That one, I know, we just talked about it. 22 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:01,600 Speaker 2: Kids aka sister, but whatever, I just I'm trying to 23 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:02,240 Speaker 2: keep it all straight. 24 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:06,399 Speaker 1: I got my other friend. I'm talking to her yesterday. 25 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:08,400 Speaker 2: She was offended that I couldn't remember that her kids 26 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:11,640 Speaker 2: were months months apart from Polly and May. I'm like, 27 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:15,200 Speaker 2: I can't, guys, I don't have a spreadsheet. Okay, I'm 28 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,160 Speaker 2: trying to keep it all straight. It's a lot and 29 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:19,280 Speaker 2: then shoe A sizes in this room and all the 30 00:01:19,319 --> 00:01:21,120 Speaker 2: other numbers. I got to try and keep organized. 31 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:21,520 Speaker 1: I could do. 32 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:26,479 Speaker 2: But Gigi, and I'm proud of her because she's she's 33 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:31,120 Speaker 2: cussing now and she you wrote that. She's saying O 34 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:34,560 Speaker 2: s oh yeah. My favorite part of this is that 35 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:38,959 Speaker 2: it's appropriately it's appropriately timed in place yea, So she 36 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:40,560 Speaker 2: knows that right, That's what I'm saying. 37 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:41,959 Speaker 1: That's why I'm so proud of her. 38 00:01:41,959 --> 00:01:43,920 Speaker 2: Not that she's cussing, but not only she cussing, but 39 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:48,360 Speaker 2: she's using it appropriately, properly, not appropriately, but properly. My 40 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:52,040 Speaker 2: girls so smart. But what is the uh? Because I 41 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:53,400 Speaker 2: want to throw this out there. I'm sure you guys 42 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:55,960 Speaker 2: can come up with with things from your kids eight 43 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:59,280 Speaker 2: five five five nine one three five What is the 44 00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:01,279 Speaker 2: thing that you had get your kid to stop saying, 45 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:04,280 Speaker 2: because you know, in this case, it was it's os. 46 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,600 Speaker 2: So how does it come up? Like so she hear 47 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,600 Speaker 2: she's heard you saying or is Hobby to colprit. 48 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:12,240 Speaker 3: No, No, it's me many of times because I just 49 00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:15,480 Speaker 3: I just say it and I didn't realize she understands, 50 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,960 Speaker 3: like as far as picking up what I'm saying. And 51 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:19,560 Speaker 3: she just started saying it one day and I was like, 52 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:21,760 Speaker 3: did she just say that? And Hobby's like clear as day. 53 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:23,840 Speaker 3: And then he's getting all mad at me, and I'm like, well, 54 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:25,440 Speaker 3: it's not my fault, Like I'm just a little baddy 55 00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:27,360 Speaker 3: with a bad mouth, Like I can't like help her 56 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:30,600 Speaker 3: walking around here just saying things. And then she has 57 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:32,280 Speaker 3: like her like a new kitchen said that I got 58 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:34,800 Speaker 3: her and she's playing whatever the pots and pans and 59 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:40,600 Speaker 3: it falls and she goes, oh s, girl stop and 60 00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:42,560 Speaker 3: she almost like slept going up the stairs because I 61 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:44,360 Speaker 3: walk with her hold her fingers right we're doing one, 62 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:46,200 Speaker 3: two or three. She like couldn't get her little foot 63 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:47,799 Speaker 3: up there, so she like kind of you know, fell 64 00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:49,440 Speaker 3: to the side a little bit, like her little body 65 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:52,840 Speaker 3: and she goes, oh s, I'm like, suck. 66 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:55,520 Speaker 2: But the problem is you want to laugh at that 67 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:58,239 Speaker 2: because it's kind of cute and funny and the fact 68 00:02:58,280 --> 00:02:59,960 Speaker 2: that she knew to say that, and she learned that 69 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,680 Speaker 2: from you, and she's doing it when she's supposed to 70 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:04,359 Speaker 2: do it, you know what I mean. 71 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,160 Speaker 1: I don't mean you're not supposed to do it. 72 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,200 Speaker 2: But it's one thing if a kid just says like 73 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:10,560 Speaker 2: I can remember as it like being really little insane words. 74 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:13,000 Speaker 2: I didn't know what they meant, but like that's that's 75 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:13,959 Speaker 2: timing right. 76 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:15,880 Speaker 1: You know, she's hon it. She knows what she's saying, 77 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:18,480 Speaker 1: doesn't miss a beat. She's so smart, you guys. But 78 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:19,160 Speaker 1: like I don't know. 79 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:21,400 Speaker 3: How to make her stop because I'll say, Gigi, don't 80 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:24,840 Speaker 3: say that and she laughs. She also doesn't get it 81 00:03:24,919 --> 00:03:27,120 Speaker 3: right because like she doesn't know what that means. Also 82 00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:29,640 Speaker 3: does she really she could really stop because I say stop, no, 83 00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:30,400 Speaker 3: say it's. 84 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:31,160 Speaker 1: Like an inside word. 85 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,120 Speaker 4: I feel like you can tell her, Like if I 86 00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:35,280 Speaker 4: don't know how you guys feel as parents, but I 87 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:37,240 Speaker 4: think you could just say, like, we don't say that 88 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:39,560 Speaker 4: outside of the house, because I think you might have 89 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:41,320 Speaker 4: lost the battle now that she knows what I. 90 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:42,840 Speaker 2: Feel like you should probably not let her say in 91 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:44,120 Speaker 2: the house either, because. 92 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:44,560 Speaker 5: I don't know. 93 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:46,520 Speaker 1: I believe words are just words. I think, just don't 94 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,600 Speaker 1: say it. Unfortunately, the rest of the world doesn't think that. 95 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,200 Speaker 2: So so she's gonna go to pre K and see 96 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:52,200 Speaker 2: that's right, She's gonna be DRP. 97 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:54,320 Speaker 4: That's like a new parenting thing though, Like people will say, 98 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:55,200 Speaker 4: you can say it at home. 99 00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:58,680 Speaker 6: They all if you my little nephews on that video 100 00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:03,040 Speaker 6: game talking on a little when I'm like, do y'all 101 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:03,320 Speaker 6: hear it? 102 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:06,520 Speaker 1: And the parents just like listen, you know, because I. 103 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:09,760 Speaker 2: Think until like maybe I don't know, like twenty one 104 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:11,960 Speaker 2: or something, I tried not to cuss in front of 105 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,760 Speaker 2: my parents, But now now I'm always cussing. I don't care, 106 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:16,800 Speaker 2: and I feel like I can't as a parent like 107 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:18,880 Speaker 2: my parents they had to try to get me not 108 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:21,040 Speaker 2: to cuss. Like it was like, you know, they can't 109 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:23,919 Speaker 2: just they can't just can't be just are just free 110 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:25,560 Speaker 2: for all, no, you know what I mean? So like 111 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,359 Speaker 2: I think you got to try to get her to stop. 112 00:04:27,839 --> 00:04:29,880 Speaker 3: I don't take it so personal. Just is like a 113 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:32,440 Speaker 3: bad word. Like again, like Kaitlyn said, the words are words. 114 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:34,800 Speaker 3: I just don't want her saying that to anybody. That's 115 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:38,200 Speaker 3: the problem though, is she's too young to know. She's 116 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:39,800 Speaker 3: too young to know that she can say it here 117 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:45,240 Speaker 3: and not say it there. Yeah, it's hard, hey, Terrence, Terrence, 118 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:46,480 Speaker 3: what is it your kids starts saying this? 119 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:48,760 Speaker 1: You had to stop. It's like, where'd you learn that? 120 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,240 Speaker 7: Both my kids they like to say what the hes. 121 00:04:55,960 --> 00:05:01,440 Speaker 2: Like, okay, liter early for that, So they're just now 122 00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:03,120 Speaker 2: that are they saying it when they're supposed to say it, 123 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:06,680 Speaker 2: like when they're exasperated or are they just saying it? 124 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:10,000 Speaker 7: My daughter is a grown woman in a little girl's body, 125 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:15,000 Speaker 7: so when she drops water, anything breaks something, she's like 126 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:15,840 Speaker 7: what what the he? 127 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:18,400 Speaker 8: Like, what are you talking about? 128 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:21,479 Speaker 1: So, Terrence, what do you do? 129 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:23,840 Speaker 2: Like you just know that you want to laugh, right 130 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:26,440 Speaker 2: because it's funny, but like you probably don't want them 131 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:27,520 Speaker 2: doing that at in the wild. 132 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:31,440 Speaker 7: You can't. I can't, you can't. You can't, Like how 133 00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:33,920 Speaker 7: do you correct something that like you created? 134 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:35,240 Speaker 1: You created this? 135 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:39,400 Speaker 2: I know that? Like but you say, daddy, I know, 136 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:41,799 Speaker 2: but like if you laugh and then you you sort 137 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,240 Speaker 2: of it's like you're sort of enabling it, right, And 138 00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:46,400 Speaker 2: then the problem is they go over to grandparents' house. 139 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:47,640 Speaker 2: So they go to school and then they get in 140 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:50,400 Speaker 2: trouble for it, and they learned it from you, and 141 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:52,280 Speaker 2: you didn't tell them to stop. So now they're gonna 142 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:54,000 Speaker 2: you know, it's like but you kind of set them up, 143 00:05:54,400 --> 00:06:00,000 Speaker 2: not because maybe you don't care, but unfortunately the world cares. 144 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 1: The world. What the is the least of my work? 145 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:08,200 Speaker 1: That's a good point. Yeah, yeah, yeah, is that where 146 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:08,520 Speaker 1: we're headed. 147 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:10,160 Speaker 2: I'm gonna go to like an elementary school and it's 148 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:12,520 Speaker 2: gonna be like everyone just dropping F bomb something. 149 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:14,760 Speaker 6: Aroun telling you it's the new wave, and I mean 150 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:15,599 Speaker 6: it's the new waves. 151 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:19,800 Speaker 1: Cursing out teachers, it's the new waves, the new way. 152 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,040 Speaker 6: These parents are just letting them ride. I used to 153 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:24,760 Speaker 6: have to curse in private, Like you know, I don't. 154 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:26,719 Speaker 2: I am not approved. But I don't think that's a 155 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,640 Speaker 2: great idea. Everyone's so sensitive. I don't think that's a 156 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:33,040 Speaker 2: great idea. Thank you, Terrence, have a good day. 157 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:34,520 Speaker 1: Let me see here. 158 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:37,800 Speaker 2: My kids started calling their dead babe because I do. 159 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:43,159 Speaker 2: That's kind of funny. Son of a bee when something 160 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:48,640 Speaker 2: felt he's three. When my son was six or seven, 161 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:52,479 Speaker 2: he would call his sister uh uh and then don't 162 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:56,400 Speaker 2: toy that starts with a D. It had no clue 163 00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:56,919 Speaker 2: what it was. 164 00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:00,160 Speaker 4: My sister called a kid a douchebab because of me 165 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:01,839 Speaker 4: when she was little, and she got something for that. 166 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:05,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, but I'm twenty eight and I still don't cuss 167 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:08,680 Speaker 2: around my mom. Maybe that's a topic in itself. It's like, 168 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,560 Speaker 2: what are you as an adult? What are you still 169 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:11,560 Speaker 2: afraid to do? Oh? 170 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:11,840 Speaker 5: Yeah. 171 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:13,760 Speaker 2: I used to get my nana, who's like, she was 172 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:16,480 Speaker 2: super Catholic in her like mid eighties. I used to 173 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:18,960 Speaker 2: get her to cuss and she really didn't want to 174 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,920 Speaker 2: do it. I'd be like, Nana, say the F word, 175 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:23,120 Speaker 2: and finally she'd do it, but she just kind of 176 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:26,360 Speaker 2: shake when she did it. It was like, doesn't compute, you know, like, 177 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:28,280 Speaker 2: what would Jesus think of this? I don't know. I'm 178 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:31,360 Speaker 2: sure you let it go. Well, my daughter was one, she. 179 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:38,240 Speaker 1: M a second. Yeah, Yeah, basically, it's the S word. 180 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,240 Speaker 2: I let my kids cuss when they were younger, as 181 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:44,280 Speaker 2: long as they were not used towards anyone, like calling 182 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:48,400 Speaker 2: siblings the word. We tell our grandkids don't say that 183 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:50,560 Speaker 2: that's a bad word. We don't scold them because they're 184 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:52,680 Speaker 2: repeating what they hear. We just let them know it's 185 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:53,680 Speaker 2: not a good word to say. 186 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:56,800 Speaker 1: It's good. Yeah, I guess. So there's one about Barney 187 00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:59,920 Speaker 1: here where the Barney one go ummm, I don't know, 188 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:00,440 Speaker 1: and then. 189 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:02,720 Speaker 2: A bunch of people are validating the outlook doesn't work 190 00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:03,120 Speaker 2: so good? 191 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:06,120 Speaker 1: Okayns I'd like to say a cuss word about that, 192 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:06,640 Speaker 1: but I'm not. 193 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:11,640 Speaker 3: Going to more PREAD show next right here, this is 194 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:12,360 Speaker 3: the PREAD Show. 195 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:15,680 Speaker 2: Let's get your hotel a trip for Tunisie Jennifer Lopez 196 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:19,520 Speaker 2: her brand new Las Vegas residency. Jennifer Lopez off All 197 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:23,040 Speaker 2: Night Live in Las Vegas March thirteenth, twenty twenty six, 198 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:27,280 Speaker 2: at the Coliseum at Caesar's Palace. Text dance to three 199 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:29,760 Speaker 2: seven three three seven right now for a chance to 200 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,520 Speaker 2: win two tickets to the March thirteenth show, a two 201 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:35,400 Speaker 2: night hotel's Day March twelve through the fourteenth at the 202 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:38,920 Speaker 2: Flamingo Hotel and Casino, Las Vegas and brown Javert Fair. 203 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:41,760 Speaker 2: A confirmation text will be sent dennered message and data 204 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:44,520 Speaker 2: rates may apply. All thanks to Live Nation. Tickets are 205 00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:47,080 Speaker 2: on sale now at ticketmaster dot com for all shows 206 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:50,480 Speaker 2: running December thirtieth through January third and March sixth through 207 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:51,120 Speaker 2: the twenty eighth. 208 00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:52,880 Speaker 1: Stay or go? 209 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,439 Speaker 2: Okay, you guys, something going on? You want us to 210 00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:58,640 Speaker 2: talk about you. Well, he'll be on the phone for 211 00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:00,680 Speaker 2: part of it, so it's not all behind your back. 212 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:02,680 Speaker 2: You can hit us up on all the different social 213 00:09:02,679 --> 00:09:06,280 Speaker 2: search for the Friend Show and Fred Show Radio dot com. 214 00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:08,800 Speaker 2: I got to pull out my phone because you know, 215 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:12,360 Speaker 2: my outlook doesn't work. Why would it? Hey, Kelsey, how you. 216 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:15,480 Speaker 9: Doing good about yourself? 217 00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:16,480 Speaker 1: Kelsey doing? 218 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:16,839 Speaker 2: All right? 219 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:18,680 Speaker 1: Welcome to the program here. 220 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:20,840 Speaker 2: So you have been in a relationship for a year 221 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:24,800 Speaker 2: and a half and it says here that you think 222 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:27,600 Speaker 2: your boyfriend's wonderful. Okay, great, well thanks for calling. I mean, 223 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,240 Speaker 2: what are we talking about here? Your boyfriend's wonderful, You're 224 00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:33,880 Speaker 2: and a half a nice run, So what's the issue? 225 00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:35,960 Speaker 10: Okay? 226 00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:39,760 Speaker 9: So I'm going to say it again. He's really great. 227 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,720 Speaker 9: He's very loving, very helpful. 228 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:45,160 Speaker 1: Around the house. Here's a big but coming. There's a 229 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:45,880 Speaker 1: big but coming. 230 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:53,199 Speaker 9: Yeah, he gets angry. 231 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:57,160 Speaker 2: Okay, like I mean, you know his sports teems losing 232 00:09:57,200 --> 00:10:00,360 Speaker 2: angry or you know his I don't know, he stuff 233 00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:05,319 Speaker 2: just tow angry or you ran out of fish ticks, angry, 234 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,080 Speaker 2: you know, like what kind of angry are we talking 235 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:07,520 Speaker 2: about here? 236 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:15,760 Speaker 9: So I would definitely say he has anger issues. Heels, 237 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:21,200 Speaker 9: he's punched a ball or two, Okay, sometimes he'll throw 238 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:25,400 Speaker 9: things and it's a lot. And it's not like he's 239 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,679 Speaker 9: ever hit me or anything, like, I don't think he 240 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:32,239 Speaker 9: would ever do that, but it's just kind of terrifying 241 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:33,200 Speaker 9: to be around him. 242 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,760 Speaker 1: Is he mad at you or is he mad about 243 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:36,360 Speaker 1: other things? 244 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:36,880 Speaker 7: Or it? 245 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:37,680 Speaker 1: Does it matter? 246 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:43,719 Speaker 9: It doesn't matter. It's just the way that he expresses 247 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:46,160 Speaker 9: whatever he's feeling is not healthy. 248 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:48,240 Speaker 10: It's scary, okay. 249 00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:49,560 Speaker 1: And do you feel in danger? 250 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:50,960 Speaker 2: I mean you say that you don't think he would 251 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:54,319 Speaker 2: hit you, but like, do you feel do you feel 252 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,959 Speaker 2: at risk by this behavior or is it just scary 253 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,360 Speaker 2: because of how quickly it ramps up and the way 254 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:03,400 Speaker 2: that he sort of uh, you know, it's it's communicated, 255 00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:06,480 Speaker 2: I guess or manifest. 256 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:11,440 Speaker 9: Yeah, I don't feel like I'm in danger, but it's 257 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:15,439 Speaker 9: it's just stressful having to witness it and be around it. 258 00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:18,440 Speaker 9: And that's just how he is when he's upset. 259 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:20,600 Speaker 2: And has it always been this way the whole year 260 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,720 Speaker 2: and a half or is this something that you're only 261 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:25,040 Speaker 2: now seeing. Maybe he was able to sort of keep 262 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:25,920 Speaker 2: it under wraps. 263 00:11:25,679 --> 00:11:26,079 Speaker 1: For a while. 264 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:32,120 Speaker 9: Well, I mean I would say like the first few months, 265 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:34,600 Speaker 9: like I hadn't really seen that side of him. But 266 00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:37,160 Speaker 9: you know a few months in that's when you start to. 267 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:39,640 Speaker 2: See, right, you're not really dating the real person for 268 00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:45,360 Speaker 2: about six months I found if you make it that far, Yeah, 269 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:49,040 Speaker 2: you're only seeing. You're seeing what they want you to see. 270 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:51,760 Speaker 2: So this is more likely what you would be dealing 271 00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:56,000 Speaker 2: with if you were with him forever. A lot of 272 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,200 Speaker 2: text already coming in. You got to you gotta run, 273 00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:00,120 Speaker 2: like you gotta go the other way like these This 274 00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:02,800 Speaker 2: is a huge red flag. Now do you have any 275 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:05,080 Speaker 2: idea where this is coming from? 276 00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:05,200 Speaker 5: Like? 277 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:09,160 Speaker 2: Is it where this why it ramps up so quickly? 278 00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:10,880 Speaker 2: I mean, is it like is it do you feel 279 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,559 Speaker 2: like he's really stressed out? Do you feel like it's 280 00:12:13,559 --> 00:12:16,199 Speaker 2: some sort of childhood trauma? Do you think it's anxiety 281 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:19,040 Speaker 2: or I mean, you know, is this something that a 282 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:21,600 Speaker 2: medical professional could address? Is he willing to go to therapy? 283 00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:23,600 Speaker 2: I mean have you talked about any of this with him? 284 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,600 Speaker 2: Have you said, hey, I watch you go from zero 285 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:28,000 Speaker 2: to one hundred? So quickly and it really concerns me 286 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:30,720 Speaker 2: or does that just cause him to go zero to 287 00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:31,240 Speaker 2: one hundred. 288 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:37,720 Speaker 9: I'm I'm a little scared to talk to him about it. 289 00:12:37,679 --> 00:12:43,120 Speaker 1: And that's a problem flag flag. Yeah, she's scared. 290 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:45,439 Speaker 2: Yeah, because I don't think anything's going to change unless 291 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:48,000 Speaker 2: you communicate to him that you are concerned about it. 292 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:52,120 Speaker 2: And if you already feel trepidation about sharing it with 293 00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:54,720 Speaker 2: him or sharing your thoughts with him, then that's the problem, 294 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:56,920 Speaker 2: because how is it ever going to be resolved? 295 00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:57,760 Speaker 1: Do you guys live together? 296 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:01,960 Speaker 9: We don't, not yet. 297 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:06,040 Speaker 2: Huh. But you say he's wonderful. I mean, so every 298 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:09,720 Speaker 2: other aspect of the relationship you're happy with, except when 299 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:11,280 Speaker 2: he gets angry, he gets really angry. 300 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:17,760 Speaker 9: Yeah, huh yeah, And that's what's that's what's difficult here, 301 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:24,640 Speaker 9: is he's actually really wonderful. It's just he's got a 302 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:30,439 Speaker 9: short fuse and his emotional regulation just isn't good when 303 00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:30,960 Speaker 9: he's mad. 304 00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:34,079 Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, he's overwhelming on the text, like it's 305 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:36,800 Speaker 2: blowing up eight five five five nine three five you 306 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:39,120 Speaker 2: can call hi text the same number. It's it's overwhelming 307 00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:41,760 Speaker 2: that you have to move on. And I know that's 308 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:43,880 Speaker 2: easy for other people to say. Unfortunately, it sounds like 309 00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:45,600 Speaker 2: a lot of people have lived through this before, though, 310 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:48,760 Speaker 2: and so they're they're they're coming, you know, they're they're 311 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:50,800 Speaker 2: talking to you, or they're they're giving this advice from 312 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:53,080 Speaker 2: their perspective, and and maybe some of these people have 313 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:55,440 Speaker 2: seen it through a little bit longer and it's been bad. 314 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:56,280 Speaker 1: Uh. 315 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,680 Speaker 2: This is above my pay grade, though, which is why 316 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,360 Speaker 2: I think when you have a bunch of strains tell 317 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:04,079 Speaker 2: you what to do eight five five five nine three five. Fortunately, 318 00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:07,000 Speaker 2: this is not one that I've encountered before. I've encountered 319 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:10,720 Speaker 2: people that drink way too much and then their behavior 320 00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:15,840 Speaker 2: becomes extremely erratic and dangerous, and that's a problem. But 321 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:19,920 Speaker 2: I've never encountered anybody who gets just just hair pin 322 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:25,200 Speaker 2: trigger angry. But if you can't talk to him about it, 323 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:28,240 Speaker 2: I guess that's the first sign that I mean, how 324 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:29,720 Speaker 2: do you expect it to be any different if you 325 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:33,120 Speaker 2: don't feel comfortable talking to him about it and and 326 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:35,320 Speaker 2: and thus coming up with some kind of a resolution, 327 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:37,400 Speaker 2: him getting some kind of help. I mean, I guess 328 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:39,840 Speaker 2: I don't know what. I don't know what to tell 329 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,680 Speaker 2: you if you can't talk to him about it, like 330 00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:42,920 Speaker 2: that to me says everything. 331 00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:45,840 Speaker 1: I mean. 332 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:49,400 Speaker 9: I could try to talk Tom, I just I haven't yet. 333 00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:50,840 Speaker 1: Hmmm. 334 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:53,760 Speaker 2: I'm gonna take some phone calls on this, Kelsey. I 335 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,920 Speaker 2: want you to listen because I do think that a 336 00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,960 Speaker 2: lot of people out there. You know, something about our 337 00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,760 Speaker 2: show is when we talk about stuff, and people can 338 00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:02,000 Speaker 2: call from their perspectives and a lot of people have 339 00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:04,400 Speaker 2: lived this before. So maybe someone will say something that's 340 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,800 Speaker 2: helpful to you or that inspires you to know what 341 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:07,400 Speaker 2: to do next. 342 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:08,480 Speaker 1: But I wish you the best. 343 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:13,200 Speaker 2: You'll be safe, please, Okay, Yeah, thank you, thank you, 344 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:17,320 Speaker 2: thank you. Have a good day. Yeah, people say, and 345 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,720 Speaker 2: I do feel like she's looking for validation to leave. 346 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:20,520 Speaker 1: That's what I said. 347 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:22,800 Speaker 2: I think she's looking for someone to tell her to leave. 348 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:24,440 Speaker 2: And I agree with that. A bunch of texts like that, 349 00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:25,440 Speaker 2: Hey Jessica, good. 350 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:28,120 Speaker 10: Morning, good morning, how are you? 351 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:29,880 Speaker 1: And I was kind of serious to start the day. 352 00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:32,120 Speaker 2: But nonetheless, I think people out there may have lived 353 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:36,120 Speaker 2: this before and might have some perspective to offer. This 354 00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:38,600 Speaker 2: woman is concerned because she's been with a guy for 355 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:40,480 Speaker 2: a year and a half and she says he's a 356 00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:43,200 Speaker 2: great guy. Maybe she's say next week, doesn't get mad, 357 00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:45,280 Speaker 2: but she says he's a great guy. He said he 358 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:48,640 Speaker 2: has a temper and it hasn't really necessarily come out 359 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:52,000 Speaker 2: at her, but it comes out, you know, punching walls 360 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:54,120 Speaker 2: and you know, really sort of over the top, and 361 00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:54,800 Speaker 2: it's scary. 362 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:55,680 Speaker 1: What do you think. 363 00:15:57,280 --> 00:15:59,480 Speaker 10: Well, I'm kind of on the other end of this. 364 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:03,840 Speaker 10: Married this person. We dated for about four years and 365 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:10,320 Speaker 10: unfortunately I had unknown resolve unresolved childhood traumas, and I 366 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:14,640 Speaker 10: thought this was normal, and we got married. We have 367 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:19,320 Speaker 10: some kids, and I finally threw my therapist have taken 368 00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:22,320 Speaker 10: a standards and I'm not doing this anymore. You have 369 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:24,320 Speaker 10: to go to therapy, you have to be on medication. 370 00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:28,160 Speaker 10: It has gotten better, but he still has never said 371 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,840 Speaker 10: this is a problem. Like he always says, I'm working 372 00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:34,160 Speaker 10: on myself, but he's never really come out and said that, 373 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,600 Speaker 10: you know, I have this problem. I have anger issues 374 00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:42,000 Speaker 10: of fatality issues, Like it's really hard. It's really hard. 375 00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:44,520 Speaker 10: So if I could go back in time, sad to say, 376 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:47,200 Speaker 10: I love my children, but I would not have paid 377 00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:47,680 Speaker 10: with it. 378 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:49,960 Speaker 2: It's such an interesting thing, Jessica, because I guess I 379 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:53,240 Speaker 2: never really understood this and until recently, and I've been 380 00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:55,400 Speaker 2: I've been alive for a while. But you are saying 381 00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:59,080 Speaker 2: that you grew up seeing this or experiencing this, and 382 00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:02,240 Speaker 2: so as obvious as it sounds, you know, you just 383 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:05,440 Speaker 2: thought that was how everybody was and at some point 384 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:07,920 Speaker 2: what you had an awakening, like you just said, wait 385 00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:10,000 Speaker 2: a minute, this isn't how. This is not how every 386 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:12,840 Speaker 2: relationship is. It was modeled for you, and so now 387 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:15,120 Speaker 2: it's like, no, hold on, I don't want to live 388 00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:17,200 Speaker 2: this way. Is that what happened? How did you come 389 00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:19,880 Speaker 2: to that spot where you realize, Okay, no, this isn't 390 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:20,679 Speaker 2: how it's supposed to be. 391 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:25,520 Speaker 10: Well, I started going to therapy and I explained all 392 00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:29,080 Speaker 10: my situations to my therapist and she's and me. I've 393 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:32,440 Speaker 10: been with her for probably about four years now, I've 394 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:36,600 Speaker 10: been married for seventeen. But yeah, she's just like, this 395 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:39,000 Speaker 10: is not normal, and she kind of, you know, let 396 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:41,720 Speaker 10: me see that it's not okay that he yelled at 397 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:44,760 Speaker 10: loud and throws things, and you know, I've actually had 398 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:47,680 Speaker 10: to call the police. And I feel like that that 399 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:51,000 Speaker 10: was kind of like an awakening for him, like, Okay, 400 00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:53,479 Speaker 10: she's not dealing with this anymore. This is not going 401 00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:57,040 Speaker 10: to be okay, like I have to change and my 402 00:17:57,119 --> 00:18:01,040 Speaker 10: kids are now experiencing, you know, problems because they witnessed this, 403 00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:04,120 Speaker 10: and so we're having to go through therapy with them 404 00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:07,240 Speaker 10: and you know, unresolved trauma. And I mean it's big, 405 00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:09,640 Speaker 10: Like she like I said, if I could go back 406 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:12,080 Speaker 10: in time, I wouldn't. I would have left him. 407 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:14,800 Speaker 2: Do you see a world, Jessica where he I mean, 408 00:18:15,119 --> 00:18:18,600 Speaker 2: he recognizes it and actually makes big steps towards changing it, 409 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:19,919 Speaker 2: or do you think it's a lost cause. 410 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:24,320 Speaker 10: Well, my therapist says, I still have hope. So if 411 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:27,000 Speaker 10: I still have hope, then there's you know, I shouldn't leave. 412 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:31,640 Speaker 10: Yet He's actively working on it, and he has gotten better. 413 00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:33,720 Speaker 10: And I know that people in the use of situations 414 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:35,560 Speaker 10: often say, you know, like, oh, but he's gotten so 415 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:38,480 Speaker 10: much better since then, But he has, and so I'm 416 00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,240 Speaker 10: trying to focus on that. And I've laid out to 417 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:44,600 Speaker 10: him what I need in this marriage for it to work. 418 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:48,200 Speaker 10: And we're actually we have a couple of therapy tomorrow, 419 00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:49,400 Speaker 10: so I'm going to present. 420 00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:49,520 Speaker 1: Him with that. 421 00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:51,800 Speaker 2: But that takes and what you're doing, Jessa, takes a 422 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:54,160 Speaker 2: lot of courage. Because everyone on here is saying run 423 00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:56,680 Speaker 2: and I know why they're saying that, because it's dangerous. 424 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:59,040 Speaker 2: There could be dangerous. It sounds like you're fighting for 425 00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:01,119 Speaker 2: it and you know, giving this kind of opportunity to 426 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,399 Speaker 2: change and uh, and that takes a lot of courage. 427 00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:03,919 Speaker 1: So good for you. 428 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:06,720 Speaker 10: Thanks, thanks, I appreciate it. 429 00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:08,840 Speaker 1: You have a good day, Jessica. 430 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:09,440 Speaker 10: Thank you. 431 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:11,120 Speaker 1: It's amazing how like you can. 432 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:13,960 Speaker 2: Not to make it about me, but like you, you 433 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,520 Speaker 2: can experience something growing up, you can know what it was, 434 00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:20,160 Speaker 2: you can and then and then you can be triggered 435 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,960 Speaker 2: by that behavior all your life until one day you 436 00:19:23,119 --> 00:19:25,840 Speaker 2: just say and it happened for me recently. It's like 437 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:28,959 Speaker 2: wait a minute, no, like no, I'm not you're not 438 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,080 Speaker 2: You're not gonna do that. And then you you connect 439 00:19:31,119 --> 00:19:33,280 Speaker 2: it with the thing that happened, you know, early on 440 00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:35,040 Speaker 2: in your life, and you're like, well, that's why that 441 00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:38,119 Speaker 2: triggers me. But now I'm taking a stand like no, 442 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,359 Speaker 2: not no, like I'm not going to be treated that 443 00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:43,000 Speaker 2: way by anybody. And unfortunately sometimes it takes over correction 444 00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:45,159 Speaker 2: to then come to the place where you just avoid 445 00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:45,840 Speaker 2: it entirely. 446 00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:47,600 Speaker 1: But that that makes me sad. 447 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:49,480 Speaker 2: It makes me sad that this woman got herself into 448 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:51,960 Speaker 2: a marriage thinking this is this is how it, this 449 00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:53,760 Speaker 2: is just how it is right because it's what she 450 00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:56,639 Speaker 2: saw and it and it doesn't have to be that way. 451 00:19:56,680 --> 00:20:01,000 Speaker 1: Hey, Becky, good morning, it's good morning doing Hi Becky. 452 00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:03,879 Speaker 2: Okay, so you're not a total random you are a therapist. 453 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:05,960 Speaker 2: You know, we did not check your licensure, but we'll 454 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,840 Speaker 2: go with it. You hear this, What do you think. 455 00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:14,119 Speaker 5: If a person doesn't have emotional regulation, which is really 456 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:18,919 Speaker 5: control of their emotions right now, the relationship that relationship 457 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:21,400 Speaker 5: culch I will tell her, he's only going to get 458 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,680 Speaker 5: to know you. He's going to become familiar with you. 459 00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,479 Speaker 5: Once you can he becomes familiar with you, he's going 460 00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:31,200 Speaker 5: to feel comfortable lashing out and you and you don't 461 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:34,240 Speaker 5: know where that lashing is going to go to indefinitely 462 00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:39,920 Speaker 5: if he's behaving like that, asis well, adverse childhood traumas 463 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:44,159 Speaker 5: have come in those experiences. So if he doesn't have 464 00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:48,680 Speaker 5: control of it, you have an individual with unmanagemental health issues. 465 00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:52,560 Speaker 5: They may manage it. What they fais with alcohol, You 466 00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:55,480 Speaker 5: never know in your experience, Becky, with you for your life? 467 00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:59,399 Speaker 2: Okay, all right, so she says, go now in your experience, though, 468 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:02,320 Speaker 2: have you ever seen where people can be rehabilitated from this, 469 00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:04,480 Speaker 2: Like if the guy is really opened, if he accepts 470 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,760 Speaker 2: the fact that this is really happening and he wants 471 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,080 Speaker 2: to save his family, and he goes to the right 472 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,120 Speaker 2: person and he leans into the process. 473 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:15,160 Speaker 1: I mean, does it have to be a go No, 474 00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:16,520 Speaker 1: it doesn't have to be a goal. 475 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:22,639 Speaker 5: But she's afraid to address him, and he's he hasn't 476 00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:27,320 Speaker 5: taken responsibility for his actions, because if he took responsibility 477 00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:29,720 Speaker 5: for his actions. You think of is when you look 478 00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:32,640 Speaker 5: at an individual you care about and you see how 479 00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:35,760 Speaker 5: you've wounded them, or you see how you've brought them 480 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:41,720 Speaker 5: to fear, you try to comfort them in that whatever 481 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,000 Speaker 5: means it takes, you will try to you know what, 482 00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:48,280 Speaker 5: I'm going to talk to somebody about this. You should 483 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:49,240 Speaker 5: be your own advocate. 484 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:52,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's yeah, that's not happening. Becky. Thank you. 485 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,840 Speaker 1: Have a good day, you too. Yeah. 486 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:56,280 Speaker 2: I mean, I'm not naive to the fact this is 487 00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:58,320 Speaker 2: happening a lot, But my god is the text is 488 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:01,639 Speaker 2: blowing up with people who unfortunately can relate to this 489 00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:06,280 Speaker 2: very scenario. Hey Monica, Hi, good morning, Hi Monica. Yeah, 490 00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:07,840 Speaker 2: So if you're just joining and I know you're not. 491 00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:10,399 Speaker 2: But if you're just tuning in, stare go. This woman 492 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:12,840 Speaker 2: you know, loves her boyfriend, says he's a great guy, 493 00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:16,280 Speaker 2: but things go zero to sixty with the anger. He 494 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:18,600 Speaker 2: gets very angry, very quickly, and well it's not directed 495 00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:22,400 Speaker 2: at her yet. It concerns her, but she's not willing 496 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:23,919 Speaker 2: to talk to him about it, and she's wondering if 497 00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:26,280 Speaker 2: she needs to get out. It sounds like if she's 498 00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:28,280 Speaker 2: not willing to talk about it, then there's nothing left 499 00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:28,919 Speaker 2: to talk about. 500 00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:29,920 Speaker 1: Like she's got to go. 501 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:34,640 Speaker 11: Yeah, she has to absolutely go. And as out listening, 502 00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:37,200 Speaker 11: the fact that she says that I don't think he'll 503 00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:37,560 Speaker 11: hit me. 504 00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:39,240 Speaker 10: Oh, she's not certain. 505 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:42,520 Speaker 11: I've been married with my husband for over eighteen years 506 00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:45,440 Speaker 11: and I can say he will not hit me. There's 507 00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:49,159 Speaker 11: a difference between being angry simply just you know, the 508 00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:52,520 Speaker 11: temple of angry. Oh you know, I'm hungry or I've 509 00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:55,480 Speaker 11: lost the game. But the fact that she cannot say 510 00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:58,840 Speaker 11: he won't hit me, And even listening to her talks, 511 00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,840 Speaker 11: she sounds very he's scared to get the words out. 512 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:04,040 Speaker 10: All the red flags are there. 513 00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:04,720 Speaker 5: She has to go. 514 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:07,600 Speaker 10: She's setting herself up for a. 515 00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:10,920 Speaker 11: Lifetime a failure, and one she brings kids into the mix, 516 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:14,240 Speaker 11: it's got to be even harder to leave. So I 517 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:16,520 Speaker 11: hope that she's listening, but she needs to go. 518 00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:17,639 Speaker 7: Yeah, needs to go. 519 00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:20,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you, Monica, have a good day. 520 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:21,879 Speaker 8: Welcome, So thank you. 521 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:23,480 Speaker 2: I think it sometimes gets you a new a value 522 00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:25,479 Speaker 2: proposition too. Some people think that they just don't they 523 00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,120 Speaker 2: don't deserve to have it all. And I'm not sure 524 00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:29,240 Speaker 2: if that's what she's thinking. But you know, for some people, 525 00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,119 Speaker 2: it's well, they just stay in it because it's like, well, 526 00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:33,200 Speaker 2: you know, he's nice most of the time. 527 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:36,520 Speaker 6: Yeah, you make excuse excuses, and you see potential and 528 00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:37,240 Speaker 6: you and. 529 00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:39,159 Speaker 4: When it's good, it's probably really good, you know what 530 00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:41,600 Speaker 4: I mean. Like when they make up, it probably feels great, 531 00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:42,680 Speaker 4: but then it happens again. 532 00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:43,320 Speaker 1: It's a cycle. 533 00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:48,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, maya, Hi, Hey, good morning, Stay or go? What 534 00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:50,240 Speaker 2: do you think when you hear this? It's kind of 535 00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:52,199 Speaker 2: overwhelming today. 536 00:23:52,359 --> 00:23:55,520 Speaker 8: Yeah, she needs to go, definitely. I sadly was in 537 00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:59,400 Speaker 8: a similar situation and he was throwing things and screaming 538 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:02,000 Speaker 8: on stuff until one day he drew something towards me 539 00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:03,280 Speaker 8: and smashed my face. 540 00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:07,200 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, and. 541 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:09,960 Speaker 8: He said he would never hit me, he would never 542 00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:12,800 Speaker 8: do anything like that, but one day it happened. He 543 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:16,960 Speaker 8: was so remorseful. I'm so sorry, but you know what, 544 00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:19,400 Speaker 8: I walked away. 545 00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:21,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot of strength, and I'm sorry it came 546 00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:22,800 Speaker 2: to that. But so for you, when you hear this, 547 00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:26,320 Speaker 2: it's well, it's not happening yet, but you know we're 548 00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:27,159 Speaker 2: on the trajectory. 549 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:27,920 Speaker 1: It's escalating. 550 00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:32,040 Speaker 2: And so you hear this and you think, well, you know, 551 00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:34,880 Speaker 2: we're certainly headed in the wrong direction as far as 552 00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:37,280 Speaker 2: he may say that or you may feel that now, 553 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:40,119 Speaker 2: but it's but since they've Matt, it's gotten so much worse. 554 00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:42,360 Speaker 2: So it's possible that it turns on her. 555 00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:43,840 Speaker 5: See. 556 00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:46,159 Speaker 8: The scary thing about this is that God forbade it 557 00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:48,760 Speaker 8: turns on her, and then when she walks away like 558 00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:52,800 Speaker 8: myself now, if I hear a man yelling or loud 559 00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:56,239 Speaker 8: noises or anything smashing, I jump. And I was in 560 00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:59,440 Speaker 8: therapy for three years because of him. I'm much better now, 561 00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:01,000 Speaker 8: but I still get triggered. 562 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:04,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, I can imagine. Yeah, that's Steph. That's Steph Lingers. Yeah, 563 00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:06,720 Speaker 2: thank you, Maya, thanks for sharing. Have a good day. 564 00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:09,320 Speaker 1: Thank you you too, all right, I was gonna move on. 565 00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:11,560 Speaker 1: I got time for one more though, Albert, good morning. 566 00:25:12,359 --> 00:25:12,879 Speaker 7: Good morning. 567 00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:15,040 Speaker 1: How you guys doing this all the time? And this 568 00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:16,040 Speaker 1: guy kind of heavy? 569 00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:17,800 Speaker 2: But I maybe it's something that people need to hear 570 00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:21,639 Speaker 2: because it obviously resonates with people. But you are calling 571 00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:24,199 Speaker 2: because you were this guy in some ways. I'm not 572 00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:25,879 Speaker 2: saying this guy because I don't know what you were 573 00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:27,399 Speaker 2: and I don't know what he is, but but you 574 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:28,200 Speaker 2: were the angry guy. 575 00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:31,000 Speaker 1: Yes, So. 576 00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:36,600 Speaker 7: Childhood trauma all of that aside. There were issues in 577 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:43,760 Speaker 7: our marriage and I became very angry and hateful and 578 00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:47,520 Speaker 7: verbally would lash out and things like that. Unfortunately, my 579 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:51,000 Speaker 7: kids also saw me acting like that, and I knew 580 00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,080 Speaker 7: I needed to get better. I knew I wanted to 581 00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:58,160 Speaker 7: be better, but I was just in my own little 582 00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:01,760 Speaker 7: world with that hate and angry for so long that 583 00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:05,040 Speaker 7: that that was my normal. And it took for my 584 00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:08,080 Speaker 7: ex wife to actually go through with the whole divorce 585 00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:12,560 Speaker 7: process for me to you know, hit rock bottom and realize, hey, 586 00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:16,000 Speaker 7: I need to change. I need to you know, work 587 00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:19,880 Speaker 7: on myself and get rid of this anger that's built up. 588 00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:23,800 Speaker 7: So I'm in a much better place now. But and 589 00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:26,160 Speaker 7: I'm not trying to victim blame or anything like that, 590 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:29,399 Speaker 7: but I feel now that I can think clearly about 591 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:32,240 Speaker 7: how I behaved and how my anger was and what 592 00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:36,280 Speaker 7: I put my ex and the kids through. I'm a 593 00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:39,480 Speaker 7: little ashamed that, you know, my ex stayed with me 594 00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,480 Speaker 7: for as long as she did, because I kind of hope, 595 00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:47,439 Speaker 7: you know, she would have left that situation before it 596 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:48,400 Speaker 7: got to that point. 597 00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:51,399 Speaker 2: I hear you saying that you're accepting your behavior and 598 00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:53,360 Speaker 2: you look back and think, how on earth would someone 599 00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:56,400 Speaker 2: stay with me through that, which is something you weren't 600 00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:57,240 Speaker 2: able to see at the time. 601 00:26:58,480 --> 00:26:58,880 Speaker 1: Correct. 602 00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:01,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, And so here's here's the guy in the situation. 603 00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:03,480 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, he's selling this woman to go. 604 00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:06,040 Speaker 6: From his perspective thanct that so much, Cousin, I do too. 605 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:08,560 Speaker 6: Relationships say I'm going to stay for the kids. I'm 606 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:10,000 Speaker 6: going to stay and work it out for the kids. 607 00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:13,240 Speaker 6: If you are in an abusive relationship, the best thing 608 00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:14,800 Speaker 6: you can do for your kids is to leave. 609 00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:15,400 Speaker 1: Yeah. 610 00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:19,200 Speaker 4: And abuse can be emotional and it can be burger. 611 00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:20,880 Speaker 4: It doesn't have to be physical. 612 00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:21,280 Speaker 1: Yep. 613 00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:23,800 Speaker 2: I appreciate you calling, man, because you know we really 614 00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:26,600 Speaker 2: we had only heard from you from the other side. 615 00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:28,280 Speaker 2: So and the fact that you can say that now, 616 00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:30,840 Speaker 2: you can admit that you were that person, and I 617 00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:31,840 Speaker 2: appreciate that's valuable. 618 00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:34,160 Speaker 1: Have a good day, man, Yeah, I have a good one. 619 00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:34,439 Speaker 7: Thank you. 620 00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:36,280 Speaker 2: And then we did get a texted to Taylor Swift 621 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,960 Speaker 2: announced an album, so just so you know, uh, did 622 00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:41,680 Speaker 2: you guys know Taylor Swift announced very heavy, very heavy topic. 623 00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:42,960 Speaker 2: But Taylor Swift announced an album. 624 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:43,080 Speaker 7: So