Speaker 1: Welcome to another episode of Horrible Decisions. Mandy is unfortunately
Speaker 1: not in today. Hopefully this bitch will run in here
Speaker 1: if she's busy. It's tax season. Does that he'll getting
Speaker 1: money here today. I've got our cosh and he's one
Speaker 1: of the asshole Army's finest Um. Yeah, I was just
Speaker 1: telling our cash before he walked in here that the
Speaker 1: asshole Army I really feel like loves me and has
Speaker 1: my back, and I just love it. They love you,
Speaker 1: They love both y'all. Mandy. Mandy's a little colder toward us,
Speaker 1: but because maybe don't play she got you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, Mandy, mad feisty for no reason? Why do
Speaker 1: you say that what she says that we had the
Speaker 1: whole episode. That's the whole point of that. You were
Speaker 1: beating it. You were being a dick. What I do,
Speaker 1: what I ever do. I wasn't even there that day.
Speaker 1: Don't be at you were there. We are not going
Speaker 1: to do it. We got good vibes going. Me and
Speaker 1: this bitch getting money. Sip it, Sip whatever you're sipping.
Speaker 1: Keep sipping it because we're not doing this all right anyway.
Speaker 1: Um No, I found out that on their Patreon. The
Speaker 1: assar Army uses like some little you know, little thing
Speaker 1: where they share photos and yeah, and they have been
Speaker 1: sharing photos of me. Oh so you did a id
Speaker 1: stoy with your nipple, and apparently I was getting shared
Speaker 1: on the discord. I did not do it on my
Speaker 1: ig story. I was with cast. He's like, that's where
Speaker 1: I got. He's like, these dudes were talking social talking
Speaker 1: a while crazy about you, and I'm like, word, I'm like,
Speaker 1: let me do like a tease. So I thought I
Speaker 1: pulled it like right here, but actually it was like
Speaker 1: full aial and like half nipple. And then once I
Speaker 1: saw like his phone blowing up, I was like, oh ship,
Speaker 1: and I'm like how And then I was like, let
Speaker 1: me delete it. He was like, nah, you can't. You can't.
Speaker 1: It's like snapchat and I was like, dude, I was
Speaker 1: having a panic attack. I was like googling, how did
Speaker 1: delete a nipple off? That's your thing. You don't care
Speaker 1: right right, Butlank, I don't want my nipples shared. And
Speaker 1: if I'm gonna share it, I'm not sharing it with
Speaker 1: the asshole Army. I'm gonna share with the hor Hi first.
Speaker 1: All right, whatever man, you could, will share with him.
Speaker 1: It's not too late. Now they're remembers. Have a little fun.
Speaker 1: I mean have a little fun. They've already been talking
Speaker 1: about sticking there, dick in my mouth on app call.
Speaker 1: You're doing fun. I appreciate it. I do know. If
Speaker 1: people want to feels good, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like people will write me discuss get love both, y'all.
Speaker 1: Get love from the Ashole Army because we love you.
Speaker 1: I I love it. They're like they're down for y'all
Speaker 1: because we're disgusting. Okay, that's why. So I'm gonna remix
Speaker 1: this a little bit and start kind of from the
Speaker 1: middle because your girlfriend is going to come in and
Speaker 1: I'm so excited. You know. I wanted you guys on
Speaker 1: for a long time. Yeah yeah, and I heard it like, well,
Speaker 1: she's hot, so that's why I'm down. But anyway you
Speaker 1: flirt with this bitch, you're gonna have problems. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna do it. I'm not gonna be respectful. But I
Speaker 1: want to start a little bit like our horrible decision
Speaker 1: was about cherry popping, and I want to just kind
Speaker 1: of start basic and then we're actually going to run
Speaker 1: through the actual show when she's here. So first I
Speaker 1: want to ask you questions. I want to know for
Speaker 1: I know you're from Tech, this is that where you
Speaker 1: were born, So tell us about your background and like
Speaker 1: if it was religious, like religious family. My mom didn't
Speaker 1: know a bunch of their customs, which is hilarious. She
Speaker 1: moved here when she was fourteen, and somehow I think
Speaker 1: I get this from her. We're super religious, but well
Speaker 1: we'll be forgetting, like exactly what to do when you
Speaker 1: go to the temple, exactly what the prayer is. But
Speaker 1: we're super religious. We know in actions you've got to
Speaker 1: be religious, and that's how I was raised. Uh and
Speaker 1: then Texas just religious in general, so most of my Yeah,
Speaker 1: why are you taking all the fun out of everything?
Speaker 1: PCs ship just take all the fun out? I'm sorry, alright, alright, alright.
Speaker 1: The reason I'm asking about religion is for those of
Speaker 1: you that don't know. Um, I've had the pleasure of
Speaker 1: being a guest on play Grant, a fan of the show,
Speaker 1: and our cosh has lost his virginity to his girlfriend,
Speaker 1: who's gurgeous girlfriend, who's coming, And I guess I kind
Speaker 1: of just wanted to figure out if religion took part
Speaker 1: in that. Yeah. I also just this sounds corny, but
Speaker 1: like I wanted to be a role model to kids,
Speaker 1: and you don't have to live like I live. But
Speaker 1: I don't drink, I don't smoke. I don't chase hose,
Speaker 1: you know, so you can really I never smoked in
Speaker 1: my life. No drinking either. I've been buzzed twice, never
Speaker 1: been drunk. Last time I touched alcohol was years ago. Wow,
Speaker 1: And that's all like a role model for kids? Why
Speaker 1: because I didn't. I'm gonna be mad vulnerable. Here is
Speaker 1: super serious. My dad was struggling for a while and
Speaker 1: the person who really put me on the right path
Speaker 1: wasn't my father, was another guy, and I thought I
Speaker 1: could pay that forward somehow. That's amazing, that's really dope.
Speaker 1: I mean it's someone who isn't ship like just I mean, listen, well, well,
Speaker 1: I also learned from that. Guys you say whatever the
Speaker 1: funk you want to say. He would say wild ship,
Speaker 1: wild ship, but in actions he never drank. He was
Speaker 1: a perfect father, like great guy, did a lot for me,
Speaker 1: but he would say whatever he want to say. And
Speaker 1: that's where I picked that up. I don't care what
Speaker 1: I say, listen to what I do see what I do.
Speaker 1: Don't listen to what I say. I'm gonna say whatever
Speaker 1: I need to say to be funny or have fun.
Speaker 1: But this about what I do. What about the alcohol?
Speaker 1: Do you feel like it's with cloud your judgment? I
Speaker 1: think I have an addicted personality, so I don't want
Speaker 1: to get too into it. And also I just when
Speaker 1: I remember the in time, I got buzz at the
Speaker 1: two shots of jack pretty close, like like within fifteen
Speaker 1: minutes of each other. Whatever, And I was buzzed for sure.
Speaker 1: But then the end of the night, when I sobered up,
Speaker 1: I had the most fun. That was like the part
Speaker 1: I was like, this is the most fun. So I'm
Speaker 1: not saying I didn't need it, but if I could
Speaker 1: have without the people, don't ship Mousey doesn't drink or smoke.
Speaker 1: Mouse don't drink. Mouse don't smoke. No, that's got all
Speaker 1: the tattoos. He don't smoke. I mean, I know he
Speaker 1: don't drink. I'm not I don't think he smokes either smokes.
Speaker 1: I really like a mouse. I got my phone. I'm
Speaker 1: telling you right now, I really fucking don't think so,
Speaker 1: and it honestly shocks me. And I think the reason
Speaker 1: I found out is because you know, he came down
Speaker 1: to d C with us for horrible decisions live and
Speaker 1: like I remember smoking, and like I feel like he
Speaker 1: was like nah. Now maybe it's because it's Shorty was there,
Speaker 1: but that's a wild line to draw. And everybody, me
Speaker 1: and Akash are sitting here on air. You don't drink,
Speaker 1: I know, but do you smoke? Get the funk out
Speaker 1: of her? Mouse never having in my life, never in
Speaker 1: your life. You're fighting everybody, never smoke weed to calm down. Never,
Speaker 1: never in my life. You think that's why you always
Speaker 1: get in fights. You think that's why you always getting
Speaker 1: in fights? Mouse, I make decisions morning. Bye. All right, bro,
Speaker 1: So say hello them white girls for me. Okay, that's
Speaker 1: not alex Um, I'm going to help. Uh So, Okay,
Speaker 1: I want to know, like you grew up religious? What
Speaker 1: religion and what Benson should have been? What? What did
Speaker 1: you like? What did your parents like teach you about?
Speaker 1: The fucking nurses came over and got to him. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, what what did I say? That's too much?
Speaker 1: It's not you had me emotional on this podcast. That's
Speaker 1: no fun. I gotta represent. I really want to know
Speaker 1: because like you're so funny, and I feel like for
Speaker 1: someone to have held something that long, like as extroverted
Speaker 1: as you are, I feel like it's got to come
Speaker 1: from somewhere, and like I just want to know, like
Speaker 1: what did your parents tell you about sex? They didn't
Speaker 1: really talk to me much. You know, there's Ben's and
Speaker 1: do Indians ever talk about sex? That's why I still
Speaker 1: get uncomfortable when I gets brought up, even a joking manner,
Speaker 1: because my whole life and table so yeah, I know,
Speaker 1: And that was that. I've really been having a fucking
Speaker 1: loosen up for Flagrant because you can't if if the
Speaker 1: whole point of the podcast is we don't hold back,
Speaker 1: I can't hold back. But it's been like I'll be
Speaker 1: sweating in that bitch like Jesus like legit, Like when
Speaker 1: it starts coming up a lot, you'll see a little
Speaker 1: sweat form on the Gulf. Indian families just do not
Speaker 1: talk about sex. Billion of us, so we fucking but
Speaker 1: you do not talk about it. I don't know why.
Speaker 1: It's just the way the culture is. We'll talk about whatever,
Speaker 1: watch whatever, violence in movies, but the second of sex
Speaker 1: scene comes up, everybody like oh god, yeah, I thought
Speaker 1: that was normal. Where's the first time you saw porn?
Speaker 1: I have some white kid's house. You've never seen a
Speaker 1: pussy some fox some white kids house. I mean when
Speaker 1: you jerked off for the first time, Like, did you
Speaker 1: know what was gonna happen? Like, no, Matt guilt. Wow.
Speaker 1: My one of my friends I interviewed um grew up
Speaker 1: super religious and told me, like, after he jerked off,
Speaker 1: He's like, yo, I was asking God to make me stop.
Speaker 1: Like he added that he said he would pray so
Speaker 1: much that he was like, I get so tired of it.
Speaker 1: I just jerk off and go to sleep. So like
Speaker 1: you had girlfriends, not really not. I had one girlfriend
Speaker 1: in college. But I was also fat and ugly, so
Speaker 1: that made things you were fat. I was a little chubby, ugly,
Speaker 1: little motherfucker. So there's a picture somewhere maybe you can
Speaker 1: edit in all my Instagram. I'll text it to you.
Speaker 1: It's a high school year of picture. Matt far and
Speaker 1: the threat though, But it's me at sixteen and I
Speaker 1: look like a gerbil. How do you know thirty four?
Speaker 1: You're thirty four? R fuck you? I mean I should
Speaker 1: be more successful. But yeah, so you lost a Virginia
Speaker 1: A thirty two. Wow? Why still when I hit thirty,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm not waiting until marriage anymore. That's out
Speaker 1: the window. But I still wanted to be somebody actually
Speaker 1: cared about. How did you get so long? How did
Speaker 1: you go so long? Did you? Did you ever feel
Speaker 1: like it? I didn't know what I was missing. You
Speaker 1: ever seen a person who never ate meat? And you're
Speaker 1: just like, how do you not eat meating? Like? I
Speaker 1: don't know, I don't know. People always like, so you
Speaker 1: don't we you never have like scraled eggs, like, but
Speaker 1: you don't know what you're missing. I know I never
Speaker 1: had a cage. You never had a great omelet, but
Speaker 1: you don't know what a great omelet is. I had
Speaker 1: a great pussy that a lot of great pussy is
Speaker 1: or whatever. One chilling. Okay, you dated, we were like
Speaker 1: the longest relationship before your girl a couple of months?
Speaker 1: Did you? Did you normally get left? And she was
Speaker 1: also that was not that's happened. But also in Texas,
Speaker 1: it's not as freakish for people to not have sex.
Speaker 1: My roommate in college is a black dude, still my
Speaker 1: best friends this day. He didn't he had sex with
Speaker 1: one girl that he dated for years until he got married.
Speaker 1: And he got married twenty eight fuck do and good
Speaker 1: looking black do. You wouldn't like me where I grew
Speaker 1: up ugly And that was just kind of super Christian
Speaker 1: dude is mad. Christian dudes in Texas. Christianity got a
Speaker 1: foothold in Texas, so it's more common now. He's happily married,
Speaker 1: got his kids, found his whatever. And if you asked
Speaker 1: about that girl, he'd be like, Yeah, that first girl
Speaker 1: is a mistake. I wish I kind of wish I
Speaker 1: didn't whatever, but he was just so. Your religion then
Speaker 1: played part into why you didn't have sex? But what
Speaker 1: what what made you did you feel kil after your
Speaker 1: first time having sex? No? I need this was the
Speaker 1: right Did you care about it? I knew this was
Speaker 1: the right girl? So like your you had, did you
Speaker 1: know what was coming? Like did you play in the
Speaker 1: day like you're fucking thirty one years old? No? No, no, no,
Speaker 1: we didn't playing nothing that just happened. Now your parents
Speaker 1: do they know about Lake Grand Do they know you've
Speaker 1: had sex? Like my parents are forbidden from listening to
Speaker 1: this part. I like begged my mom, like do not listen.
Speaker 1: She see my stand up. I always tell her not
Speaker 1: to watch, and she'll still watch. It was pretty good,
Speaker 1: I mean not pretty good. It's like not you're staying
Speaker 1: up is amazing. I don't mean in that way so good.
Speaker 1: I just meant it's not that crazy. No, it's not.
Speaker 1: I don't talk about sex on stage. Really, yeah, you
Speaker 1: talked about I can go any any said I do.
Speaker 1: I could. All I do is cuss, and I can
Speaker 1: take all that out because the one time my mom
Speaker 1: came to see me. Twice my mom was come to
Speaker 1: see me in both times, I was like, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna cuss in front of me. She knows I cussed,
Speaker 1: but that's my that's my you know brown mom's you
Speaker 1: know how it is, So it's like that's my backbone.
Speaker 1: I'm not if she doesn't like me cussing, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna cuss the show for and it's still I can
Speaker 1: do that. It's like it's not a huge do you
Speaker 1: know you're I'm sure she knows. We're not gonna talk
Speaker 1: about it. If my girl comes to Busy we stay
Speaker 1: in the same room. Really, yeah, my mom, I think
Speaker 1: after thirty one she was like, just give me a
Speaker 1: grand baby. I don't give a Are you the only one? No?
Speaker 1: My older brother not married either though. So wait, was
Speaker 1: your older brother fuck you ever talk to hi about? Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: he was fucking but he we wouldn't talk about him
Speaker 1: much again. He would just tell me and I'd be like,
Speaker 1: all right, no questions. When you watched four year old
Speaker 1: Virgin and they talked about like putting hands on tits
Speaker 1: and it was like a sandbag, did you like be like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe it is. No, I had done that much by
Speaker 1: the time when we can came out. So what's the
Speaker 1: closest you've gotten to sex before you fucked your girlfriend?
Speaker 1: I wouldn't even take it. I would like, I wouldn't
Speaker 1: even like if girls want to give a head. I
Speaker 1: was like, no, we're good, I'm not you've never had
Speaker 1: head unto your girlfriend. I was like, that's a loophole.
Speaker 1: That's a loophole. I'm not taking no loopholes. Not loopy
Speaker 1: out here and stop. That's a throwback as a call
Speaker 1: back to another episode Guys about coming up with it?
Speaker 1: Wait all this coming out before? It's a call forward
Speaker 1: to another episode Guys. The email coming is having asked
Speaker 1: girl Okay, I gotta take the heat off me right now.
Speaker 1: No shit, okay, right, I gotta act a little ridiculous.
Speaker 1: I don't even get this serious on my show. Know
Speaker 1: what's happening, Well, your girlfriend's gonna come in here and
Speaker 1: then it'll get lighthearted. But I think the main that's
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna get lighthearted. Do you think I'm gonna
Speaker 1: say the same exact extreme shoot when she gets heared?
Speaker 1: You know what you wanted to get lighthearted? You want
Speaker 1: to get lighthearted? No no, no, no, no, no no,
Speaker 1: because now you asked for it. I want everybody who's
Speaker 1: watching to know and understand this still sound lightheartearted. What's
Speaker 1: coming is not lighthearted. No, no, let's do it. So
Speaker 1: we're going to our Vanilla Ships segment, and it's basically
Speaker 1: where we talk about sex in the news and Daily
Speaker 1: News has a headline Tom Ford on why all men
Speaker 1: should be penetrated once. I think it would help them
Speaker 1: understand women. That's exactly what it like. Gun oh boy
Speaker 1: many printing that ship out. I knew it. I knew it.
Speaker 1: I knew it. She would like use this one. She
Speaker 1: wanted me to use it for the last guest, But
Speaker 1: I was like, now I'm getting in that Indian is
Speaker 1: so it says Tom Ford has offered a unique way
Speaker 1: for men to better comprehend women. Can't you just cut
Speaker 1: my pay down to seventy three cents for dollar whatever
Speaker 1: funk I'm making right now? Can't you just do that?
Speaker 1: I understand women just as well. It's whole safe is
Speaker 1: you're the asshole army. I mean, if anybody's gonna get
Speaker 1: sucking the aspers, they would probably be you. It can't
Speaker 1: be cast is cast. It can't be cash man sensitive.
Speaker 1: He's too big cash That's why he That's why he
Speaker 1: getting sucked his ask first. I'm too insecure. Injured deserves
Speaker 1: to be sucking his asker. Injuredent deserves to be pegged
Speaker 1: like full on, And I like, I really wanted to
Speaker 1: be in one of those moments where he's like, you know,
Speaker 1: why does it make America great? Hand? So that bam
Speaker 1: peg him in the you know what I'm saying, just
Speaker 1: like a like that's what he needs. Honestly, it might
Speaker 1: be he might be the first. He's the first to
Speaker 1: get his assy No, alexis because he was my white girls.
Speaker 1: That's why they're just okay. The designer and filmmaker told
Speaker 1: g Q he believed that all men should be sexually penetrated.
Speaker 1: Tom Ford Maker, I did not know that and that
Speaker 1: just popped out. Well, he's up it. He has enough
Speaker 1: believe all men should be sexually penetrated at least once
Speaker 1: in their lifetime. Back in two thousand four, more than
Speaker 1: ten years later, he still stand by those comments, even
Speaker 1: though he said he was drunk when he first made them.
Speaker 1: I think that would help them understand women. It's such
Speaker 1: a vulnerable pos s to be. It's such a passive
Speaker 1: position to be in, and it's such invasion in a way,
Speaker 1: even if it's consensual, it's very personal. I think there's
Speaker 1: a psyche that happens because of what it makes you
Speaker 1: understand and appreciate what women go through their whole life,
Speaker 1: but not just sexual. It's a complete setup of the
Speaker 1: way the world works. That one sex is the ability
Speaker 1: to literally invade. Now, how do you feel about that
Speaker 1: woman's perspective. I'll be very honest, like I've pegged, right,
Speaker 1: I'm not like a cereal pegger like Mandie, but I
Speaker 1: have pegged. I enjoy it, but I don't know if
Speaker 1: it's necessary to understand women. I think childbirth might be
Speaker 1: something like they're gonna be like close to that, like
Speaker 1: an excessive amount of pain. I think like that to
Speaker 1: me is like the height of what women can really
Speaker 1: fucking do. I don't feel like getting fucked is like
Speaker 1: our greatest fucking accomplishment, and that's how you understand how
Speaker 1: what women go through. Think the man just likes getting fucked. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Tom Ford's getting into ask, obviously, But I would also
Speaker 1: say that I think anything for the first time, like
Speaker 1: especially anally, it's such a tight muscle, the spincter muscle
Speaker 1: right like it's sucking a little painful the first time.
Speaker 1: And I think just to get fucked to make you
Speaker 1: understand women is bullshit. Women don't know. But at the
Speaker 1: same time, you want to do it. I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Why what is the fascination
Speaker 1: with you and Mandy and making dudes do that. I
Speaker 1: don't have a fascination. They can't undo a man just
Speaker 1: in his mind. It's just like I sucked you in
Speaker 1: the ass, right like it's done. But it's not a fascination.
Speaker 1: More than I know, it's tightened pleasure, Like I know
Speaker 1: how much I've seen pleasure with men that have been
Speaker 1: penetrated antally not necessary. I'm not the strap up type
Speaker 1: like I believe Mandy straps up. I've strapped up once,
Speaker 1: but like it's not really my vibe, Like I would
Speaker 1: rather use something else, Like I've used my fingers. I've
Speaker 1: used like a dildo, very skinny vibrator. It just slides
Speaker 1: in and you know, like this is almost too thick.
Speaker 1: That's a lot. Yeah, I can't even take this, so
Speaker 1: I wouldn't want anybody else to take it. But I'm
Speaker 1: talking like a nice little skinny like you know, prostates gimulator.
Speaker 1: Maybe the width of like this, you can handle that, right?
Speaker 1: What have you got a colostopy thing? What's it called?
Speaker 1: Not colostomy calonic? If you got a calonic, it would
Speaker 1: be this going to your ask for a TV show?
Speaker 1: I remember, um, but I don't know. It wouldn't be
Speaker 1: funny if I got a clonic and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh this is this? Is it? Well? Because this to
Speaker 1: move it feels like water is going in and then
Speaker 1: you're like kind of like pushing it out, right, So
Speaker 1: that's that doesn't count. But I mean, are you doing
Speaker 1: anything like at least a little tongue there yet No, no,
Speaker 1: we'll figure out what you get here, no tongue. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna help you. I'm gonna help you. Me and Tom
Speaker 1: are going to help you. And what's your girl's name?
Speaker 1: Just you don't need that help you could. We don't
Speaker 1: need that help. You want me to do that? What
Speaker 1: do you want to do? No? No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: we don't need we don't need that help. Right, we're
Speaker 1: good there. So we're gonna push onto the kick of
Speaker 1: a week, which is and I love it. I feel
Speaker 1: like we've done it before, but I just love it
Speaker 1: even more climb ac ophilia and it's the arousal to
Speaker 1: falling downstairs. So I started looking it up. I'm porn
Speaker 1: hut because I was like, no way, but honestly it
Speaker 1: comes up. Mad bitches be falling down the stairs with
Speaker 1: their tips out, and it's like such a fucking joy
Speaker 1: to see. Um. By the way, we have a special guest.
Speaker 1: Oh just super hot. So we're gonna take a quick
Speaker 1: break and listen to this ad. I'm mos surprised. I mean,
Speaker 1: like trash, you have the eyes, but like that, that's
Speaker 1: that's all I got. It is Patreon. I see why
Speaker 1: you're staying Um so you came in here with your
Speaker 1: stripper top queue. Joseline is a very good stripper name too,
Speaker 1: like your low key ready, Like really you could be
Speaker 1: a writer, but that sounds very freelance, So Getfrity for
Speaker 1: the pole. Is your lipsick glittering too. Yeah, it's called
Speaker 1: four Carrots, and he's my My client is a makeup company,
Speaker 1: so I got it for free. She's got a day job,
Speaker 1: he makes money. She's like, y'all marketing analytics. So jeslyine,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna really just started off here. Before you
Speaker 1: got in here, I was asking Okash about like, right,
Speaker 1: it's first time, like you know, with you not as much,
Speaker 1: but like how did it go with other women? Talking
Speaker 1: about never having a blow job? What the fun? So
Speaker 1: he started four how do you twenty five? Okay? So
Speaker 1: like you meet him, he's never had sex and he's
Speaker 1: older than you were you like you Yeah, it's funny
Speaker 1: because like the guy that I was kind of with
Speaker 1: right before him was also a virgin and stole her
Speaker 1: from a black duke, stole from the black man. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: he was like really like on some principal ship and
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know why I don't know
Speaker 1: why you did it want to lose his virginity. But
Speaker 1: when I met a Gosh, I was I was at
Speaker 1: the point where I was ready because I don't know
Speaker 1: if you told her, because I don't know you didn't
Speaker 1: know your virgin. So I was a virgin too when
Speaker 1: I met him, So she don't know the dig is trash.
Speaker 1: I don't know no better, You have no idea. You
Speaker 1: got to get him ignorant, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: You know? So I felt like I was like at
Speaker 1: a place where I was ready and then I found
Speaker 1: out he was a virgin, and then I was like great,
Speaker 1: Like do I have to wait again? But I think
Speaker 1: like we just connected very well. That we it was
Speaker 1: kind of it wet without saying that we wanted to.
Speaker 1: How did you guys meet show? Wait? You met one
Speaker 1: of his shows? That we're at the Home Book and
Speaker 1: Comedy Festival, and Andrandrew actually brought us together because I
Speaker 1: was on a show. My sister was a fan of
Speaker 1: Brilliant Idiots and she had heard Akash on the podcast.
Speaker 1: So I was actually living in California right before and
Speaker 1: she was buying tickets and she was like, oh, we
Speaker 1: should go, Like he's really funny. They're really funny. It'll
Speaker 1: be a good time, blah blah blah whatever. So I
Speaker 1: was like, okay. So then like we decided to go
Speaker 1: the day of. We were like being lazy and we
Speaker 1: didn't want to go out all the way out to Hoboken.
Speaker 1: But then um, we saw the brilliant idiots. That was
Speaker 1: the first time I've ever seen them, and they were
Speaker 1: like really mean, and I didn't understand, like what was
Speaker 1: going on, like what was the dynamic? I never listened
Speaker 1: to them before. Then we saw a kash and um,
Speaker 1: I was like telling my sister was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: he's like really cute, Like you didn't tell me he
Speaker 1: was so cute? And then, um, do you want to
Speaker 1: tell this or should keep going? The show? Said was
Speaker 1: all right, It wasn't anything crazy. He was like in
Speaker 1: a movie theater, mad, weird, okay. And then I see
Speaker 1: her from behind and she got a sowner and I'm
Speaker 1: thinking she could be Indian. Indian girls don't normally have
Speaker 1: asses on them. I have to go see she could
Speaker 1: be Dominican too. She gotta she had it. It's like
Speaker 1: that you're mad. Then I don't know to him, I
Speaker 1: asked for an Indian girl. I wouldn't say, like, this
Speaker 1: is great for a black girl, but so I sorry, yeah,
Speaker 1: wheezy by. So she starts flirting with you. I'm a
Speaker 1: fighter on the podcast, and if you flirt back at
Speaker 1: some motherfucking problem, I'm not gonna do it, only because
Speaker 1: you know I don't like to disrespect women, right. I
Speaker 1: would always try to make it a three someome situation.
Speaker 1: And I'm assuming that's a no. And even if it
Speaker 1: wasn't no, I would just imagine it. Imagine two people
Speaker 1: that lost every ginney together, fucking someone who hosts the
Speaker 1: show called horrible, no disappoint Oh my god, She's gonna
Speaker 1: be like her Yo, Okay, wait, you pull up to
Speaker 1: start walking faster. I start speeding up right boy, and
Speaker 1: Bollywood doing me got booties like that. I'm walking faster,
Speaker 1: creep stop. I don't even have a plan. I'm just
Speaker 1: look at would just be like what she looked like.
Speaker 1: Then her sister turns around and it's like can we
Speaker 1: get a picture, And I'm like, yes, the funk you
Speaker 1: can't get a picture? How many you want? So I
Speaker 1: know he was just like sure, and then so she
Speaker 1: strategically it was like, you guys, take a picture, So
Speaker 1: I took a picture with him, and then he introduced
Speaker 1: himself to us, and then I kind of let them
Speaker 1: talk because I was like, really shy because I thought
Speaker 1: he was really cute, so I didn't want to like
Speaker 1: say anything, so I just told him my name and
Speaker 1: a long story short, I didn't ask her out at first,
Speaker 1: and I was very upset with myself. And then as
Speaker 1: they're leaving, a guy walks up the stairs and they're
Speaker 1: walking down the stairs and then you know, say what
Speaker 1: she said though, oh I said, So first I don't
Speaker 1: holler at them. Then I'm like, she's with her sister.
Speaker 1: I don't know, this is weird. And then they go
Speaker 1: to the bathroom and I'm like, yo, if she gets
Speaker 1: out of the bathroom, forces from holler. But they come out.
Speaker 1: I literally wait in the movie theater like the lobby
Speaker 1: area for them, and then they come out at the
Speaker 1: same time and I'm like fuck so and then I
Speaker 1: just go keep in touch. And as I said, they're
Speaker 1: walking down this want to get hereucking talking about you
Speaker 1: los her keep in touch and I'm just super upset
Speaker 1: at myself. Then they're walking downstairs and the guy's walking
Speaker 1: upstairs that I'm cool with, and he turns around and
Speaker 1: he's like, my god, and I'm like, I know, man,
Speaker 1: and he goes they're both beautiful, but that one might
Speaker 1: have been the most beautiful gul I've ever seen. So
Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, you're right. I literally get paid and
Speaker 1: I go chase out of the movie theater. I'm like,
Speaker 1: they might be taking the same bus back to New York.
Speaker 1: As me, I run out of the movie theater, they're there.
Speaker 1: We were waiting for an Uber and broke no. No,
Speaker 1: he could waste of the because Uber was Indian. Do
Speaker 1: you fucking convinced her to take a bus? Look at her?
Speaker 1: Bus to fifty? Just told me her lipstick was called
Speaker 1: twenty four. Garrett since learned, I have since learned, ain't
Speaker 1: cheap Okaya, So Uber Uber seventy bus to fifty for
Speaker 1: what bus gonna get you there faster? It's like a
Speaker 1: two block walk. I'm not putting her in danger. I'm
Speaker 1: not fucking retarded. It's not one in the morning, it's
Speaker 1: like nine thirty at night. We're good. You're crazy, but
Speaker 1: I get it. I do dumb things for Dick too,
Speaker 1: But Dick, you didn't know you were gonna get so
Speaker 1: how many dates in? Tell me about that night? It
Speaker 1: was like the second weekend, first weekend? Three dates in?
Speaker 1: You hussy? She wanted to call you worse. But did
Speaker 1: you did that out of respect? Musty? That's her Whiteside said.
Speaker 1: I was like, because she's never had sex, so I
Speaker 1: can't just sit here and be like, Okay, where did
Speaker 1: you guys go that night? It was my place. She
Speaker 1: came over for the weekend. She was in Philly at
Speaker 1: the time. Did you have any did you put inkling
Speaker 1: that it would happen? I didn't. Yes, Well I just
Speaker 1: knew that, like I was ready. I have been ready
Speaker 1: for some time. It was weird because I grew up
Speaker 1: really conservatively and then I made this promise to my
Speaker 1: mom that I wasn't I was going to wait until
Speaker 1: I got married, and then I don't know, something just happened,
Speaker 1: Like when I turned twenty two, I was like, I
Speaker 1: just I felt like mentally like, okay, this is because
Speaker 1: of what you look like. It's true. I feel like
Speaker 1: when I had sex, like you know, like and I
Speaker 1: was in high school, it's because I didn't look like
Speaker 1: I was in high school. So like I knew I
Speaker 1: looked different. I knew I had a different body, like
Speaker 1: I was getting different responses, and then it was making
Speaker 1: me think like I was ready. I really believe that.
Speaker 1: So I know he grew up Hindu. What about you?
Speaker 1: You said your mom made you make a promise, So
Speaker 1: I she didn't make me make a promise, but I
Speaker 1: wanted to make it to her. So I grew up sick. Um,
Speaker 1: So it's kind of similar to Hinduism. But the men,
Speaker 1: they were like the Turbans and they have I thought
Speaker 1: it was always seek is how you actually say sick
Speaker 1: is how you like the proper way to say it.
Speaker 1: But seek is like how you distinguished it to like American,
Speaker 1: I'm feeling sick, you know what I mean? I was
Speaker 1: like this, ain what what I do? Like you can't
Speaker 1: like that? You know, people have to whisper like cancer.
Speaker 1: You know that's I got to keep a flavorant somehow, okay,
Speaker 1: fine on the and could get it. So like did
Speaker 1: you ever cook get it? Did you ever learn about sex? Like?
Speaker 1: Growing up? No, I never learned about sex. And you
Speaker 1: know it's so funny. It is like I didn't even
Speaker 1: know what a blow job was until tenth grade when
Speaker 1: my geometry teacher used the variables b J and then
Speaker 1: everyone started laughing, and me and my best friend were Indian,
Speaker 1: were like, what's so funny? I told you Indians don't
Speaker 1: talk about sex. I grew up with the best friend.
Speaker 1: I can't say her first name, but last name is
Speaker 1: the Sai, and I knew it's a very common yes,
Speaker 1: at least popular names is good J from good Rat yuck.
Speaker 1: I don't know. We were friends in middle school, but
Speaker 1: once I started suying, you stopped hanging out with right
Speaker 1: when I was getting fingered, Like, you're like, I can't
Speaker 1: I was a husy. Okay, so you guys have a
Speaker 1: first time obviously, I'm assuming no condoms because for what right?
Speaker 1: But also like you aren't you like terrified of getting
Speaker 1: pregnant because you've never had so I was. I had
Speaker 1: actually just started birth control like a separate reason, Yeah,
Speaker 1: because I have PCOS, so I was on it anyways, Um,
Speaker 1: I'm wanted to stay regular right now. I hate it.
Speaker 1: Hate it. I've always been against birth introl. No, I
Speaker 1: don't have enough blood coming out of my pussy without it.
Speaker 1: How do you feel better? Like a stream? You guys
Speaker 1: have sex any period you're leaning in, I'm not. I
Speaker 1: don't know if I want to answer the question, that's
Speaker 1: her question to answer. So everybody was like getting on
Speaker 1: me because I have sex on my period, um, and
Speaker 1: I don't care. And also funck my girl on her period,
Speaker 1: and people I was trying to tell them like, if
Speaker 1: it doesn't smell like quarters, who cares? You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. If it's that, I'm sure you like take
Speaker 1: a shower. I'm not like you're yeah, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. Plus, if something is stopping it me hanging,
Speaker 1: take the shower like suck it and like stop it
Speaker 1: up with like a little something like just lick the
Speaker 1: clip where I'll see no blood. Because I don't get
Speaker 1: why you have because you'd be looking her laugh. Was
Speaker 1: I never heard that laugh before? Yeah? It was funny.
Speaker 1: Wait wait wait okay, so you guys have sex? Is
Speaker 1: it terrible? Yes? Girl? What then was good? Yeah? Because
Speaker 1: you've never felt it? Um, I mean it was just
Speaker 1: it was like it was awkward because both of us
Speaker 1: were Yeah, did go in the right did you put
Speaker 1: it in between your thighs or didn't go in the hole. No,
Speaker 1: it did not go in the hole. Did you stay hard?
Speaker 1: Did I stay hard? I honestly don't remember so much panic. Well,
Speaker 1: I know I'm thinking like because you're already really beautiful, right,
Speaker 1: And I was nervous too, so that contributed to like
Speaker 1: everything not being able to fit correctly. It didn't fit. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know when you get nervous. When you get nervous,
Speaker 1: you couldn't want to say you and your big cocaine
Speaker 1: coll Okay, No, it's not a reflection to me at all,
Speaker 1: but in't fit. So wait, did your cherry pop? Did
Speaker 1: your hymen breach? Or like? Because normally after like they're saying,
Speaker 1: I've heard after twenty like you kind of lose it
Speaker 1: at some point in time. No, I didn't. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: so did you think she was lying? No? I believed her,
Speaker 1: But that I believe her when she told me before that,
Speaker 1: I was like, just definitely fucking look like there's not No,
Speaker 1: it was look at the glitter. No, I it was
Speaker 1: just like my whole life, like I was always such
Speaker 1: a romantic and I was I didn't really kiss anyone.
Speaker 1: I didn't kiss anyone. My first kiss was my senior
Speaker 1: prom date and it wasn't even a real kiss. Then
Speaker 1: I had like one boyfriend before school, and like all
Speaker 1: we did is kiss, and then my first boyfriend in
Speaker 1: college kind of like corrupted me, but like in a
Speaker 1: safe way, so I like learned how to do everything. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you safe way, But then I always knew it was
Speaker 1: something that had to be special. And my first boyfriend
Speaker 1: was the virgin too, and then my second boyfriend had
Speaker 1: only had sex once, so we didn't paying predators to you?
Speaker 1: How are you meeting all these visions and you look
Speaker 1: like this guys really, like I know you ain't never
Speaker 1: no club because you would have gotten taken advance, I
Speaker 1: would be guys never come up to me ever, like
Speaker 1: very rarely, Like I swear, well, I get it. Beautiful women,
Speaker 1: if you need vincent, if you need to put the
Speaker 1: camera closer, you can. But as attractive women, you know,
Speaker 1: like ourselves, I do find the men don't come up
Speaker 1: to me either. I don't know, I don't know what
Speaker 1: the reasoning is, but he doesn't believe me. But that's
Speaker 1: what I said. I just know. I swear if you
Speaker 1: get d M S and this fucking off this podcast,
Speaker 1: we're gonna have problems. Well, I feel real bad for
Speaker 1: you now, Like God, damn that's what actually look like,
Speaker 1: because like you're you don't do like stories that much,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like obviously like your girls
Speaker 1: on Instagram, but like this is a different thing. Like yeah, also,
Speaker 1: I don't want you. I don't want a bunch of
Speaker 1: dudes and just being gross and weird. I totally understand that.
Speaker 1: So as a army, keep it tight. If you need
Speaker 1: to keep writing me about how you want to suck
Speaker 1: my face, that's fine, we take that. You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. Let's let's just let's let's keep it safe,
Speaker 1: mainly because I'm also trying to get in this too
Speaker 1: for the day that you sunk up, because the day
Speaker 1: that she finds out you don't have sex and I
Speaker 1: can get my strap on, We're good. I'm totally excited
Speaker 1: and be like, just just just just pick the dick
Speaker 1: you would like, which one was a cosh, and we'll
Speaker 1: go another two inches from there and start up. So, okay,
Speaker 1: you hate me, I love you too. Feeling well and
Speaker 1: secure right now, just curious. So it sucks. The first
Speaker 1: time sucks? When did orgasms finally start happening? Did it
Speaker 1: take time to learn each other's bodies? No, he was
Speaker 1: like very quickly adapting to my body and like what
Speaker 1: I liked, and like you are that in the corner,
Speaker 1: motherfucker's you aren't that ship in the corner? Fucking like
Speaker 1: he got it here, so he made you come? How fast?
Speaker 1: Like did it happen? Like did it take months? No?
Speaker 1: It was like within the like hours, Oh there we go. Listen,
Speaker 1: do not that? Andrew would say, He's like like goes
Speaker 1: out of his way to make sure, like I'm always
Speaker 1: like pleased and like over the top satisfy, like he's
Speaker 1: very good. So did you when you guys had that,
Speaker 1: like you had the first time having sex? Did you
Speaker 1: go down on her? Like yeah you did? Yeah? Well
Speaker 1: it good? Did you enjoy I mean, I'm sure you've
Speaker 1: never felt it, but like were you like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm premd this. Nothing is so easy down there. It's
Speaker 1: just anatomy. It's easier ship in the world, easier in
Speaker 1: the world to eat pussy. Yeah, Nick is easier. Okay,
Speaker 1: you I believe that. I believe that she don't. I'm
Speaker 1: glad you heard it from someone who's done both. Tell
Speaker 1: me so, Like, how long did it take for you
Speaker 1: to give him a blow job? Did it freak you
Speaker 1: out because I feel like my first blow job like
Speaker 1: really was like, oh my god, like I had never Okay,
Speaker 1: is like weird for me to talk about. Sorry, I'm
Speaker 1: not used to you want to come on? No, no, okay,
Speaker 1: we'll skip the blowjob talk. But are you not skip it?
Speaker 1: You got that, let's skip it if it's weird. But
Speaker 1: I do, I mean, I'm interested to know you. I
Speaker 1: watched porn before, right, did you feel like I hadn't want? Oh?
Speaker 1: I did? Okay, So but did you feel like you
Speaker 1: did you watch porn to know what to do? Like?
Speaker 1: Did you not feel no? I I mean I just
Speaker 1: knew what I did with previous boyfriends and what they
Speaker 1: told me they liked. So I mean it was like
Speaker 1: I knew what I was doing and that was somebody
Speaker 1: you care about. Yeah, Like I think from the beginning,
Speaker 1: like we met each other, was just like a really
Speaker 1: special connection. So that's why we were able to like
Speaker 1: also connect physically, because you know, when you share like
Speaker 1: an emotional connection, it kind of amplifies your Seriously though,
Speaker 1: if you guys had two weekends and you had boyfriends,
Speaker 1: like it had to be and it's what three years later, Wow,
Speaker 1: you know everybody, we were all joking that you know,
Speaker 1: a cosh was going to lose you to someone in India.
Speaker 1: Oh maybe I don't know. No, I'm just no, I'm
Speaker 1: just kidding No, but they, you know, like it's funny
Speaker 1: because like people will come up to your parents to
Speaker 1: be like, oh, like what's her status? It's called as
Speaker 1: it's not well I figure, I mean he got eyes. No,
Speaker 1: it's just like especially when you go to weddings, like
Speaker 1: relatives or like you know, family friends of relatives will
Speaker 1: be like, oh, what's up with her? She has like
Speaker 1: an above average face? Like what does she do? You
Speaker 1: know kind of thing, and like they get what's your
Speaker 1: bio data, which is like your like if yeah, you're
Speaker 1: you're like dating statistics of like what kind of degree
Speaker 1: you have, like the highest level of education you have,
Speaker 1: what your parents do, What cast you're in, what religion
Speaker 1: you are, what cast you're in? Yeah? Casts in mind
Speaker 1: was like richpoort or not like what it's like. So
Speaker 1: my religion in SICKI is m You're not even supposed
Speaker 1: to have cast, but there is still like a cultural
Speaker 1: precedence over the religion. So there are casts and people
Speaker 1: do take it some people take it more seriously than others,
Speaker 1: but it does indicate kind of what your cultural values are, like,
Speaker 1: are you guys doctors are not? Basically kind of like
Speaker 1: how educated you are? Like no, no, I don't beginning
Speaker 1: none of these questions. As soon as they find out
Speaker 1: I'm a comedian, there's no. But what do they bigs like,
Speaker 1: he's sweet, he's funny, treat you well? Like does that
Speaker 1: not hold up? No? It does? Like no, my family
Speaker 1: really likes him. I mean, yeah, I'm sure your mom
Speaker 1: is like fucking elated. I mean a comedian from Texas, Like,
Speaker 1: we did not think you could do this. You can
Speaker 1: gotta take shots for me a little bit. Where is like,
Speaker 1: what do you think since you've been having sex? It's
Speaker 1: been three years now, obviously it's better. What do you
Speaker 1: guys think? Is your biggest like the biggest thing you've done,
Speaker 1: or something like you thought you wouldn't do, or is
Speaker 1: there like a position or like is it dirty talk?
Speaker 1: Or like what's the thing that you guys feel like?
Speaker 1: Is something that's like, holy ship, we've got here. I'll
Speaker 1: have very many limits once once you start sucking at
Speaker 1: thirty one, it's not I mean, take the seatbell dolls.
Speaker 1: But we did talk about pegging before. I'm not getting
Speaker 1: sucking peg. I mean there's a line, fam what does
Speaker 1: that mean? Getting fucked by? You call out things? We
Speaker 1: don't do this crazy. Okay, I'm gonna call out things,
Speaker 1: and both of you at the same time we're gonna
Speaker 1: say yes or no other. You were answering your fucking
Speaker 1: questions without consulting each other first. Say it could be
Speaker 1: like blindfold yes, this that whatever? Right? Okay? Watching porn together?
Speaker 1: Not if you have a would you watching porn together?
Speaker 1: I don't think we would do. I don't think we
Speaker 1: would be into watching porn together. Really. Yeah, let's like
Speaker 1: fifty Shades of Gray's like porn because we've watched that.
Speaker 1: I did watch that. Okay, you watch the serious you
Speaker 1: watched it. Who do you think it is? More dominant
Speaker 1: or submissive together? He's more. Wouldn't be hilarious If I
Speaker 1: said I was submissive, I would believe No. I don't
Speaker 1: think I could ever be with the guy that was sis.
Speaker 1: That's weird to me. Okay, Like tell me what submissive about?
Speaker 1: Oksh do you feel like whether it's no, he's not
Speaker 1: SUBMISSI I mean dominant sorry, do you feel like he
Speaker 1: initiated sex first or is he like, yeah, like all
Speaker 1: the time, I don't meet me one and a half
Speaker 1: pretty regular? Wait wait wait, how often do you guys
Speaker 1: have sex? It depends on the week. Yeah, it could
Speaker 1: be anywhere from like one to five five times a week.
Speaker 1: It really depends. Like you blow chow. Damn, that's a lot.
Speaker 1: You guys live together, right, Yeah, that's the fucking lot.
Speaker 1: But living together? It depends though, like sometimes like you know,
Speaker 1: obviously you're tired, whatever, But where do you want to
Speaker 1: get pregnant? Black ass girl? I'm sorry what I mean? Okay,
Speaker 1: so we did the watching port together? Yeah, handcuffs? I
Speaker 1: am putting on all fucking handcuffs. She's just saying handcuffs
Speaker 1: in the midroom. I would use them? Yeah yeah, not
Speaker 1: a me. A vibrator? No fuck no? She do want
Speaker 1: to know a good dick? Feel like crazy? You crazy? Candles? Yeah? Wait? Lighting?
Speaker 1: No like sexually handles? Yeah? I thought you were lighting? No? No, no, okay?
Speaker 1: Spanking where good? Question? A little? But not yours? Hers?
Speaker 1: Definitely not mine? You never know a little a little
Speaker 1: good spake? Do I spank her? Would you enjoy? Would
Speaker 1: you guys enjoy that? Do you like speaking choking? I
Speaker 1: said yes, I'm thinking that is yes. So I'm gonna
Speaker 1: just do the be all and all before we get
Speaker 1: to the homemail. You guys are both super cute. At
Speaker 1: some point in your lifetime, someone's gonna try to fund
Speaker 1: the both of you. What are you saying? It's not me?
Speaker 1: You guys are gonna go out our Coash is gonna
Speaker 1: get famous. He's gonna do a way better fucking set
Speaker 1: than we've seen on fucking Netflix. And then suddenly you're
Speaker 1: gonna have to go on tour because we're gonna have
Speaker 1: to keep these bitches from the Green Eyes monster apparently. Now,
Speaker 1: when a woman comes up to you guys and she's
Speaker 1: totally flirting and she's like, oh my god, you're gorgeous
Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah blah, and your little boyfriend too, boom,
Speaker 1: what do you do to say? Now? What's your what's
Speaker 1: what do you do? What if she's super hot and
Speaker 1: I'll never see her again? Do you have the experience?
Speaker 1: Do not have the experience? How is that conversation going
Speaker 1: talk to other? Hose No, disregard that bitch, disregard you
Speaker 1: out of here, bitch. Do you get a little jelly?
Speaker 1: Do you get a little possessive? Yes, you do. I do.
Speaker 1: I think it's gotten better, like as I've gotten more
Speaker 1: secure and confident with myself. But I was definitely like
Speaker 1: pretty jealous of like stupid ship, like just be glad
Speaker 1: not really know you. You know, It's funny is once
Speaker 1: I started the podcast, her confidence that no girls are
Speaker 1: d M and me was just skyrocketed. She's just like
Speaker 1: nobody M and you. Well you have to talk about
Speaker 1: her so much, like we also just a it's a
Speaker 1: dude podcast. For the most part, I'm really glad that
Speaker 1: you decided to come on here, even though I know
Speaker 1: I asked you about blow jobs, but like a space
Speaker 1: at least, but no, I mean as someone that listens
Speaker 1: to flagrant like I know that like your girlfriend is
Speaker 1: such a part of your life, Like I feel like
Speaker 1: you know, we all hear the stories of a lot
Speaker 1: and even in your set to talk about her. So
Speaker 1: I think it's great that you both are here. So
Speaker 1: definitely no three things like ever happening. I feel like
Speaker 1: he would never want to do it through So wow,
Speaker 1: that's what you've said to me though, Yeah, I wouldn't
Speaker 1: be into it. That's too much. That's too much pressure.
Speaker 1: It's a lot of pressure. But I saw it on
Speaker 1: a Seinfeld episode when I was When I was younger,
Speaker 1: I was like, that's stupid, And then when I got older,
Speaker 1: I was like, this, man, pressuresoms are so much work, Like, seriously,
Speaker 1: is a lot of work. Legs are flying like it's exhausting,
Speaker 1: and then like at one point you want to get fucked,
Speaker 1: but you're like, no, no, I'm trying to be a
Speaker 1: good sport. It's exhausting. What were you to say? Yeah,
Speaker 1: but what I was gonna say. Have you seen the
Speaker 1: episode of Gossip Girl where they have a three so
Speaker 1: and then he should like CBS, No, it's on It's
Speaker 1: on Netflix. Whatever. I just like one of my favorite
Speaker 1: shows that I've always watched, like since I was like eighteen.
Speaker 1: But they had a threesome and then he ended up
Speaker 1: breaking up with this girl and started dating the other girl,
Speaker 1: like when Dan broke up with Olivia Vanessa, remember when
Speaker 1: they Yeah, that's like that. But you said you feel
Speaker 1: like he would not want to Does that mean you
Speaker 1: would Do you find women attractive in that way? Or? Um?
Speaker 1: I like, yeah, I mean some women, not like I
Speaker 1: don't think like that much like sexually, but like I mean,
Speaker 1: I can see how women are attractive, like Cassie is
Speaker 1: like my girl crush. I feel more like I'm sorry dancing. No,
Speaker 1: I'm not saying I'm not saying I would have a three.
Speaker 1: So I'm just saying I don't like see, how are
Speaker 1: you think? Let's calm it down here, fucking space, Jim.
Speaker 1: You shouldn't be wearing a hand, you know why? Now?
Speaker 1: Is it? Like okay? When you think about a girl
Speaker 1: like kissing, like do you think that's hot? Have you
Speaker 1: ever watched Born like that? I feel like if I
Speaker 1: wanted to kiss a girl, it would only be to
Speaker 1: like turn a guy on, so like the intent would
Speaker 1: still be, Yeah, the intent would be like the novelty
Speaker 1: or like just like a bucket list thing, or like
Speaker 1: the intent would be to turn a man on. So
Speaker 1: it's not like actually the attraction to her, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. But a lot of women feel that way.
Speaker 1: A lot of women that are asking for threesomes for women,
Speaker 1: like people ask during Our Lives show like oh if
Speaker 1: I do this, like I feel like my boyfriend Like
Speaker 1: it's like which is like me? They would want to
Speaker 1: go down. But you actually have like a like a
Speaker 1: real attraction, right, But like it sucks. I've made out
Speaker 1: with girls like that all the time and they're like,
Speaker 1: you're cute, Like I'm gonna just put this on Instagram,
Speaker 1: and it sucks. It's fucking terrible. You feel like an object.
Speaker 1: I feel like not like an object, but like I've
Speaker 1: always felt like girls would like to test me out.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm not the's a threesome starter kid
Speaker 1: either lesbian starter kid, not a threesome starter kid civic
Speaker 1: for lesbians. We just but that's what you start with.
Speaker 1: That's what you start with. We're gonna get we all getato, homemail.
Speaker 1: I love this question. Okay, first, I love y'all. Don't
Speaker 1: use my name. I'm a patron. I went to the
Speaker 1: d C show. My boyfriend and I have been together
Speaker 1: from a five years. We met in college and he
Speaker 1: took my virginity. So he's the only man I've ever
Speaker 1: been with. I love him to death, but we've been
Speaker 1: struggling because of distrust and him just not giving me
Speaker 1: the ship I deserve. I guess I'm an emo ho
Speaker 1: because it's definitely affected the sex we've decided to work
Speaker 1: it out, and he's given me permission to fun someone
Speaker 1: else without him. I'm not going to that's crazy. Actually,
Speaker 1: I'm dying to. Like I'm gonna look through the pictures
Speaker 1: now and figure out who came with their boyfriends. We
Speaker 1: decided to work it out, and he's giving me proficient
Speaker 1: permission to fun someone else without him. I'm not going
Speaker 1: to until I feel a little bit better about us,
Speaker 1: because I want to be with him, But I need
Speaker 1: to know. How Am I gonna know if a nigga
Speaker 1: has good dick. I'm not trying to waste my damn pass.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I can come vaginally or if
Speaker 1: my man is a stroke off. Either way, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: find out. The sex used to be amazing and he
Speaker 1: makes me come clatorially all the time. Don't go in
Speaker 1: on my man now. I'm curious to know. Do you
Speaker 1: think the hall pass as someone that he took her virginity?
Speaker 1: The guy similar to you right, the only person she's
Speaker 1: out of sex with. Do you think the hall Pass
Speaker 1: is bull ship? Do you think he's testing her? If
Speaker 1: you ever offered a hall of pack like, would you ever?
Speaker 1: I would never in my fucking life all for a
Speaker 1: hall pass. That's crazy, all pass? But do you think
Speaker 1: he's bullshitting? This dude is bullshitting Do you think he's
Speaker 1: playing with her? Maybe? I don't know because I can't
Speaker 1: think of any reason a guy would say, hey, go
Speaker 1: flux somebody else. That's just weird. I don't know why
Speaker 1: he would offer that unless he really truly believed, like, Okay,
Speaker 1: this is I'm something I'm okay with, or he really
Speaker 1: truly had faith in her coming back to him and
Speaker 1: like this is like a temporary feeling, but you're going
Speaker 1: to come back to like me because I love you.
Speaker 1: Unless he's like, really that racially in tune with her?
Speaker 1: Do you think they're like? For you? Guys? Is there
Speaker 1: ever pressure that you're the only people that you'll have
Speaker 1: sex with? Right? Like, I mean, you both love each
Speaker 1: other very much, you enjoy the sex with each other,
Speaker 1: But is there any pressure that you won't suck anybody else?
Speaker 1: And that's why I thought this question was great because
Speaker 1: it's like the unknown, Like do you ever feel like that?
Speaker 1: Do people ever say that to y'all? I'm sure your
Speaker 1: girlfriends are your guy friends, like damn any money else?
Speaker 1: Like I think, Well, the girls that I'm friends that
Speaker 1: are kind of similar to me, like like we just
Speaker 1: grew up like kind of conservatively. But besides that, it's
Speaker 1: to me like it's really special to share it with
Speaker 1: someone who you you just share so much like love
Speaker 1: with And if I felt like I could have that
Speaker 1: love with someone else, then maybe, But I don't feel
Speaker 1: like I could also get that emotional connection with someone else,
Speaker 1: so it doesn't feel like I'm really missing out, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I hate you, Like she's so great
Speaker 1: and you're wearing litter, like it's great, like you're literally
Speaker 1: conservative wearing litter, but like I know, there's can't get
Speaker 1: that one and a half waiter, what about you? Do you?
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure like flagrancy, like people are telling
Speaker 1: you like you never don't get some new pussy like
Speaker 1: you're a man. There's there's there's beautiful girls you attempted,
Speaker 1: but you just don't. I don't know. Yeah, it's just
Speaker 1: not I'm proud of you. You guys are so ill.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna live. Alex, come hug me. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: These dreads are a little too, you know, Alex, Alex
Speaker 1: and Alex and Wheezier like Ross and Rachel. Like Ross
Speaker 1: and Rachel, we are not like Ross and Rachel the
Speaker 1: last Weeker's network. We are okay. First of all, y'all
Speaker 1: all gotta stop. It's not fucking true. What happened to them?
Speaker 1: They got together? Else she turned into lesbian Rachel lesbian
Speaker 1: beginning of the show as another girl. I mean, no
Speaker 1: one my friends. Anyway, If you guys enjoyed Oh Cosh,
Speaker 1: check him out on Flagrant to his shitty aass co
Speaker 1: host is in here problematic wearing a space jam hat.
Speaker 1: My god, Um, I'm so glad that you came. I'm
Speaker 1: actually shocked that you came on here. Yeah. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just thought it would be fun. Yeah he did
Speaker 1: you have a good time? Yeah? I did. It was
Speaker 1: low jop thing was that was? Yeah, I can't least
Speaker 1: stopped it. I felt it, I felt vibes, and she
Speaker 1: was appreciate it. But like, I'm really glad you went
Speaker 1: in for the lesbian ship. But thank you for your advice,
Speaker 1: O Cosh, you were fun except for making fun of
Speaker 1: the girl with Lucas. Um. If you want a little
Speaker 1: bit more importable decision ship, check out us out on
Speaker 1: Patreon for five bucks a month. You get three extra episodes.
Speaker 1: They come out every Monday after our regular episodes. O cosh,
Speaker 1: tell us where they can find you, and not where
Speaker 1: they can find your girl. I won't plug her at
Speaker 1: all day. Um, you know, listen to podcast. Listen to me,
Speaker 1: I'll flagrant to We got regular episodes every Tuesday, and
Speaker 1: they got Patreon episodes every Friday. Fast is going Patreon
Speaker 1: in the world. Second is horrible decisions Twitter. Everything is
Speaker 1: a cosh saying my name A K A S H
Speaker 1: S I N G. H Um. I'm excited to see
Speaker 1: your stand up again. I'm sure one day you'll be.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie every time I watch an Indian
Speaker 1: dude on Netflix. I'm just like I'm a I'm ann
Speaker 1: pomp more shootout. I'm gonna get on that Andrew Schultz plan.
Speaker 1: I just gotta get the money you have to produce
Speaker 1: my own ship. Yeah, we gotta get this. We really do.
Speaker 1: We do, because you'll imagine if we can get more
Speaker 1: ship like this. You know how good this was. This
Speaker 1: was fucking gold. All we need is now the almost
Speaker 1: reasome to happen so you could just have material for
Speaker 1: the next year. That's it. I mean, imagine if it
Speaker 1: happened just like a little like, oh, you know, maybe
Speaker 1: he'll like it if I do the kids, damn new
Speaker 1: set new bit like yo this last week a bit
Speaker 1: try to make out with my girl. It is a
Speaker 1: good idea. Anyway, if you don't want to do that,
Speaker 1: you can always get back in here in the closet.
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening. This has been another episode of
Speaker 1: horrible decisions by was Mad entertained