1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,800 Speaker 1: Call It What It Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camil Luddington, 2 00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:06,720 Speaker 1: an iHeartRadio podcast. 3 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:19,200 Speaker 2: Well, hello, hello, Hello. 4 00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:22,240 Speaker 3: Hello Call It crew, and welcome to another episode of 5 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:27,040 Speaker 3: Call It What It Is. Oh, Capshaw is busy this week, 6 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:28,840 Speaker 3: looking gorgeous. 7 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:31,880 Speaker 4: Oh, come on now, Capshaw was busy this week. 8 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:34,080 Speaker 1: Capsua was so happy to be busy this week. Kepshaw 9 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:34,960 Speaker 1: got a little nervous. 10 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,600 Speaker 3: Why is Capshaw talking about Capshaw the third person? 11 00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:38,000 Speaker 1: Well? 12 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:41,120 Speaker 3: Should we talk about the call? This is really funny 13 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:43,639 Speaker 3: because so jess had upfront this week, and we'll talk 14 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:47,720 Speaker 3: about what that is. But she called me after upfronts. 15 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:50,839 Speaker 3: She facetimed me and I from her hotel and she 16 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:56,280 Speaker 3: was looking stunning and I look like like a naked 17 00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:58,400 Speaker 3: mole rat. We just talked about a naked more. I 18 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:02,280 Speaker 3: look like a naked rat. And I had my glass 19 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:04,360 Speaker 3: of wine and we just FaceTime for an hour. And 20 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:08,679 Speaker 3: the different the difference between me and you in that moment, 21 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:12,240 Speaker 3: like you're so swinky, and I was like so disgusting. No, 22 00:01:12,319 --> 00:01:12,720 Speaker 3: don't worry. 23 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:15,920 Speaker 4: It only took forty two people and you know, three hours. 24 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:15,679 Speaker 1: So. 25 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:19,679 Speaker 3: There's no amount of people that could have made me 26 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:23,640 Speaker 3: look like you that night, but we got to like 27 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:25,880 Speaker 3: we got to like have a little like pow wow 28 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,880 Speaker 3: of like how your day went, and now we're gonna 29 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,800 Speaker 3: share it with the Call It crew too. Yeah yeah, 30 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:30,520 Speaker 3: yeah yeah. 31 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:34,360 Speaker 1: Upfronts is what they call the coming together of all 32 00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:40,039 Speaker 1: the people who make decisions about where and how to 33 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:44,600 Speaker 1: spend advertising dollars on new shows. So each of the 34 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:48,400 Speaker 1: network used to be only networks. Now it's platforms. And 35 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:51,320 Speaker 1: now it's like there's all these different ones. It's I mean, 36 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:53,400 Speaker 1: the one that I was at was Disney and Hulu 37 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:56,360 Speaker 1: and ESPN, so it's like, you know, there's a lot. 38 00:01:57,320 --> 00:01:59,640 Speaker 1: But yeah, they have these you know presentations where they 39 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:03,720 Speaker 1: present the fall lineup and the advertisers and the people 40 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:05,680 Speaker 1: that are spending the money get to look at it and. 41 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:09,920 Speaker 4: Sort of interface with the casts. 42 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:12,280 Speaker 1: And the creators and the showrunners, and then they come 43 00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:13,280 Speaker 1: together and it's. 44 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:14,760 Speaker 4: So it's so nice. 45 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:19,800 Speaker 3: It's very swinging, very well produced. It's very well produced. 46 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:24,960 Speaker 3: Let's talk about the fall lineup? Oh oh okay, that's 47 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:27,240 Speaker 3: another crazy Okay, So that's the first piece. 48 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:28,960 Speaker 1: Is if the first piece, which is that they do 49 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:30,520 Speaker 1: this thing called up fronts where they put it all 50 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:33,920 Speaker 1: together and then I've been a couple times in my 51 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:36,440 Speaker 1: life with different shows the eater got picked up and 52 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,560 Speaker 1: didn't do very well or got you know whatever. Anyways, 53 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:42,320 Speaker 1: so I've been there a couple of times, and I 54 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:45,960 Speaker 1: forgot that when you get there because they kind of 55 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:48,720 Speaker 1: keep it top secret until the day, but when you 56 00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:52,600 Speaker 1: get there is when it will likely be revealed what 57 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,560 Speaker 1: night your show is on and at what time. And 58 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:58,720 Speaker 1: I hadn't even thought about when the show would be on, 59 00:02:59,080 --> 00:02:59,440 Speaker 1: so you. 60 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:03,160 Speaker 3: Truly don't know until it's sort of revealed, right, Like 61 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:05,880 Speaker 3: you're going into it as like the lead of a show, 62 00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:10,600 Speaker 3: not knowing when your show is gonna air until. 63 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:14,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, they countinue you're like today I am on a Sunday, 64 00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:15,240 Speaker 1: and you're like, all. 65 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:20,200 Speaker 4: Right, good luck with that. It's gonna be amazing. People 66 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,320 Speaker 4: are gonna be lining up. 67 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:23,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, yes you could. 68 00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:26,800 Speaker 1: You could, And I think probably people do go and 69 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:29,360 Speaker 1: they're like disappointed. I mean, I'm like, I'm imagining this, 70 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:31,359 Speaker 1: but I'm imagining there's people that are disappointed. 71 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,639 Speaker 4: There's people that are excited about whatever. 72 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:39,600 Speaker 1: Times thought they get we So I get there and 73 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:42,920 Speaker 1: and someone's like, oh my gosh, so you're reunited with 74 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:44,480 Speaker 1: Grays I was like, no, no, no, no. I mean, 75 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:47,200 Speaker 1: yeah I did last year but and and always with Camilla, 76 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:49,800 Speaker 1: but no, no, no, I'm here with a different show. 77 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:51,840 Speaker 1: They're like, no, no, no, You're reunited with Grays on 78 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:53,200 Speaker 1: the Night. And I was like, I don't know what 79 00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:55,360 Speaker 1: you're talking about, and they said, you're. 80 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:57,560 Speaker 3: You're right before Grays on the Night. 81 00:03:58,720 --> 00:03:59,360 Speaker 4: I can't what. 82 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:03,840 Speaker 1: So it's nine When Won the Original at eight pm 83 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:06,440 Speaker 1: on Thursday nights and nine one one. 84 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:07,360 Speaker 4: Nashville at Night. 85 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:13,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, Thursday nights and then Gray's Anatomy on Thursdays. 86 00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:16,640 Speaker 3: I just I don't know why, but like really it 87 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:20,880 Speaker 3: made me geek out. I was like, oh my god, reunited, 88 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:24,039 Speaker 3: we're all the same night again. I know, but you 89 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:26,360 Speaker 3: get to look probably a little bit more glamb than 90 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:27,919 Speaker 3: I will. I'm going to tell you. 91 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:29,960 Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you right now, without even having filmed 92 00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:32,640 Speaker 1: a scene, not a frame has been filmed, and I 93 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,240 Speaker 1: can tell you this will be the best dress that 94 00:04:34,279 --> 00:04:36,800 Speaker 1: I ever will be or have been in my life. 95 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:41,360 Speaker 3: It's amazing. And did you see anyone from Grey's Anatomy there? 96 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:43,320 Speaker 3: Because ye, yes. 97 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:46,240 Speaker 1: The night before I'd been at a different event and 98 00:04:46,279 --> 00:04:48,240 Speaker 1: I came back to the hotel. And as I was 99 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:53,560 Speaker 1: walking into the hotel, I see Georgie Shandra. 100 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:55,840 Speaker 4: Wilson, and I wait what And so then I got 101 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:58,280 Speaker 4: to give her a big hug and I was so happy, 102 00:04:58,279 --> 00:04:59,880 Speaker 4: and so she and Jim were there. 103 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:03,839 Speaker 3: Uh it is like seeing like it's like seeing family. 104 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:05,599 Speaker 4: Absolutely yeah. 105 00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:07,880 Speaker 1: And I actually really did think to myself because when 106 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:11,240 Speaker 1: you go to these things, you go party of one, 107 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:12,200 Speaker 1: you go by yourself. 108 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,320 Speaker 4: But I sat with Chondra and Jim for a good 109 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:15,039 Speaker 4: amount of time. 110 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:17,080 Speaker 3: There is like a safety in numbers saying that we 111 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:20,440 Speaker 3: get to praise where there's so many of us that 112 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:25,320 Speaker 3: like it does take the stress off. And you're inheriting 113 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:28,279 Speaker 3: a brand new show in this incredible time slot, and 114 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:32,560 Speaker 3: so like that's it is a high pressure situation because 115 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,800 Speaker 3: it's almost like it's almost like the wedding day, like 116 00:05:35,839 --> 00:05:39,440 Speaker 3: the announcement and the fanfare of like this buildup of 117 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:42,280 Speaker 3: like the show's coming and here's the casting announcement and 118 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:44,520 Speaker 3: now and you go and you meet all the execs 119 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:47,799 Speaker 3: and everything. You looked gorgeous. You sent me a picture, 120 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:49,640 Speaker 3: I say, wedding day, you're in. 121 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:52,240 Speaker 1: No excuse me, I facetimed you when I put on 122 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:54,760 Speaker 1: the dress to say, am I good? 123 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:55,680 Speaker 3: Are we good? 124 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:58,200 Speaker 4: I'm a good And you and Lucas were sitting in 125 00:05:58,279 --> 00:05:58,719 Speaker 4: the kitchen. 126 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:00,719 Speaker 3: Do you know what you said to me? You go, 127 00:06:00,839 --> 00:06:03,839 Speaker 3: I think you're frozen, and I was like, I'm not frozen. 128 00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:07,800 Speaker 3: My mouth is so wide engaging you that like I 129 00:06:08,279 --> 00:06:11,240 Speaker 3: was speechless, and Jessico thought I had frozen on FaceTime. 130 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:15,560 Speaker 3: I had not. That's how shocked. Not shocked. I mean like, listen, 131 00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:20,239 Speaker 3: you look where you look. But I was just like, oh, hot, damn, 132 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:24,920 Speaker 3: I'm on one. Nashville's coming, It hot coming, it hot coming. 133 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:28,039 Speaker 3: And then your picture everything was amazing. It is nerve 134 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:32,839 Speaker 3: wrecked little dress. But yes, of course you. Of course 135 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:35,719 Speaker 3: it wouldn't be you if it wasn't. Don't need a 136 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:40,920 Speaker 3: Maxi skirt on Capshaw's legs. Let's talk about though, because 137 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:44,039 Speaker 3: this is what our podcast is about today. It sort 138 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:46,520 Speaker 3: of is like the introduction. 139 00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:49,360 Speaker 4: Into comes next into the. 140 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:51,839 Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's gonna all be like a torn like 141 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:55,040 Speaker 3: a little snowball now from now on out into you 142 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:58,400 Speaker 3: being in Nashville and starring to film and navigate these 143 00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:01,040 Speaker 3: new storylines and this new care during a new city. 144 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:05,400 Speaker 3: And we're talking about that and being a working mom. 145 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:08,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, you know, I have so many thoughts on this, 146 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:10,960 Speaker 1: and I actually want to start it off by saying. 147 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:15,400 Speaker 3: Working mom is like working. 148 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:17,520 Speaker 4: Is inherent to the title of being a mom. 149 00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:20,120 Speaker 3: Yes, so true. Yeah, I remember. 150 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:24,040 Speaker 1: After having Luke, being very purposeful about how I said 151 00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:27,239 Speaker 1: working mom, because I used to think that a working 152 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,520 Speaker 1: mom was someone who became a mom and who worked 153 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:32,320 Speaker 1: at a job somewhere else. And now I'm so specific 154 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:35,680 Speaker 1: and I say, whether you're working as a mom inside 155 00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:37,760 Speaker 1: the house or you're outside the house, which of course 156 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:40,480 Speaker 1: is not like, yes, you know, change your home, but 157 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:43,560 Speaker 1: you know what I mean, I think that you're working 158 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:49,000 Speaker 1: no matter what. And there's this other set of circumstances 159 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:53,960 Speaker 1: and challenges that can sometimes come with not having any 160 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:56,720 Speaker 1: responsibilities or jobs outside of the house, right, because, in 161 00:07:57,040 --> 00:08:00,840 Speaker 1: a way, dirty little secret, when you work outside the house, 162 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:04,080 Speaker 1: sometimes it's actually like a break from your flight. 163 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:04,760 Speaker 4: It's hard. 164 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:08,600 Speaker 3: Oh, it's so true. I just had this conversation with 165 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:12,400 Speaker 3: I went to dinner with mommy friends last night, and 166 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:16,320 Speaker 3: we were talking about how we're more exhausted on the 167 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:19,280 Speaker 3: weekends when we don't work than when we are during 168 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:19,840 Speaker 3: the week. 169 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:21,920 Speaker 4: I think a lot of people feel that way, a 170 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,640 Speaker 4: lot of parents, a lot of parents. 171 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, absolutely. 172 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:30,160 Speaker 1: So I think that you know, again, there's a set 173 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:32,960 Speaker 1: of circumstances and challenges that come for people who are 174 00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:37,760 Speaker 1: you know, twenty four to seven parents. And then there's 175 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:40,120 Speaker 1: a set of circumstances and challenges that come with people 176 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:42,080 Speaker 1: who work outside the howse and they have you know, 177 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:44,920 Speaker 1: demands on their time and things that they can't control. 178 00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:47,920 Speaker 1: That's what I think for me is the differentiating factor 179 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:51,600 Speaker 1: is the things out of well, nothing is in our control, 180 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:55,000 Speaker 1: we know this from our friend Mel Robins, but less 181 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:57,760 Speaker 1: in your control. Like when you work outside the house, 182 00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:01,360 Speaker 1: don't you don't get to dictate your schedule, right, You 183 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:05,079 Speaker 1: have a schedule for work, and you work with someone 184 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:07,880 Speaker 1: else or for someone else, and so you just have 185 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:10,160 Speaker 1: to you got a roll with that when you're you know, 186 00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:13,120 Speaker 1: when you're at home, it's kind of different. So, yeah, 187 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:17,040 Speaker 1: this was the beginning of understanding that there's going to 188 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:20,559 Speaker 1: be a schedule that I am going to be I'm 189 00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:22,280 Speaker 1: going to be on someone else's schedule for a minute. 190 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:26,839 Speaker 3: Yeah, for people, listening is your plan because there are 191 00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:30,720 Speaker 3: lots of different ways that actors or anybody really navigates. 192 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:33,920 Speaker 3: You know, your work home and then your home home. 193 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:38,560 Speaker 3: Are you going to be sort of uprooing the kids 194 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:40,480 Speaker 3: to come with you to Nashville or is the plan 195 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:43,320 Speaker 3: to keep them in New York, in their schools, in 196 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,480 Speaker 3: their comfy place, and you're going to be going back 197 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:45,960 Speaker 3: and forth. 198 00:09:46,559 --> 00:09:50,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, the I mean the the what I realized that Grace, 199 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,599 Speaker 1: for all the ages that my kids have been, was 200 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:58,199 Speaker 1: that the best thing possible, given that much like the 201 00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:01,160 Speaker 1: characters that we played were kind of on call, the 202 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:04,160 Speaker 1: best thing was for the kids to just have their schedule, 203 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:07,880 Speaker 1: that is, in so far as you can control things, 204 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:12,079 Speaker 1: stays constant and the same and stable, and then they 205 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:14,040 Speaker 1: are cared for no matter what, and you're the variable 206 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:17,800 Speaker 1: that comes in and out. And that really worked for 207 00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:21,280 Speaker 1: me at Grays And then I was thinking back on 208 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:25,600 Speaker 1: it because there was a great advantage to being local, right, 209 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:30,760 Speaker 1: so you're living it right. I would just come any time. 210 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,480 Speaker 1: I mean the second that I was off of work, 211 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:35,480 Speaker 1: I was going straight home, especially when they were really 212 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:38,120 Speaker 1: really little. Towards the end, I learned that they were 213 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:40,240 Speaker 1: just a little bit more. It wasn't so like it 214 00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:42,600 Speaker 1: was so overwhelming, So there would be a time we're 215 00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:43,200 Speaker 1: on the way home. 216 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:45,080 Speaker 4: I'd be like, I'm gonna stop while we're here and 217 00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:46,920 Speaker 4: grab a little lunch on my way home or whatever. 218 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, they still think I don't work. 219 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:53,240 Speaker 3: Exactly, But you know what when you walk through that door, 220 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:55,719 Speaker 3: like they're upstairs are playing, they're like hey mom, or 221 00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:57,120 Speaker 3: they're like they're going heading. 222 00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:58,840 Speaker 4: To a sleepover or so, you know, it's like it's 223 00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:00,320 Speaker 4: just when the older. 224 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:03,000 Speaker 1: But what it does maybes you do like oh no, 225 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:06,040 Speaker 1: oh yeah, yeah. So I think that you know, their 226 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:10,319 Speaker 1: lives will stay you know, the same and constant, and 227 00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:12,719 Speaker 1: and then you know, you I will you know. 228 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:15,559 Speaker 4: Basically commute, which evidently is a hot topic. 229 00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:17,480 Speaker 1: Evidently a lot right after COVID, a lot of people 230 00:11:17,559 --> 00:11:19,960 Speaker 1: commute to places that you would think are kind of 231 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:23,880 Speaker 1: crazy because it seems too Yeah. But yeah, and I 232 00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:28,560 Speaker 1: think that you know, you just kind of you work 233 00:11:28,559 --> 00:11:31,480 Speaker 1: at my whole thing. I really been thinking about it because 234 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:35,520 Speaker 1: it's actually coming up on us quick. I I can't 235 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:38,520 Speaker 1: think about the future. I gotta just stay present and 236 00:11:38,559 --> 00:11:41,959 Speaker 1: I gotta work it till it works, because also it just. 237 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:43,200 Speaker 4: Seems to change all the time. 238 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:47,480 Speaker 3: Yeah. Absolutely, do you feel are you one of those 239 00:11:47,559 --> 00:11:51,240 Speaker 3: moms that feels like when you head into your school, 240 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:54,600 Speaker 3: you feel the other moms sort of eyeballing you because 241 00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:59,120 Speaker 3: you're not volunteering every week. We got this is a 242 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:02,240 Speaker 3: question because you know, someone wrote and literally asked us, 243 00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:04,720 Speaker 3: and it's it's I am not the mom that's able 244 00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:07,839 Speaker 3: to go and volunteer every week. So but I don't 245 00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:10,160 Speaker 3: feel the eyeballs on me now. 246 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,200 Speaker 4: I don't feel self conscious about that. 247 00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:15,679 Speaker 1: You know, and we have hiatuses, you know, on shows, 248 00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:20,240 Speaker 1: so you're not always working and you're. 249 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:21,360 Speaker 4: Not always working outside the house. 250 00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:25,080 Speaker 3: No, I don't know. I don't. 251 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:27,280 Speaker 4: I don't feel the eyeballs because I whenever. 252 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,280 Speaker 1: I mean, I do whatever I can when I can, 253 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,640 Speaker 1: you know, So I do volunteer. I mean I do 254 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:35,960 Speaker 1: volunteer as much as I can, which sometimes, even even 255 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:37,679 Speaker 1: if it's in a smaller amount of time. 256 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:41,760 Speaker 4: Is more than what other people do. I personally. 257 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:47,040 Speaker 1: Choose to give all the grace to everyone choosing how 258 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:48,880 Speaker 1: they're going to spend their time at school. Like there 259 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:51,680 Speaker 1: are some people who can show up for every single 260 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:56,360 Speaker 1: volunteer opportunity, God bless that's fantastic and that works for you. 261 00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:58,719 Speaker 1: There's some people who can't at all, but they can 262 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:01,920 Speaker 1: create some other value that they add to their you know, kids' 263 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:04,440 Speaker 1: school experience. I don't know, but like I just always 264 00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:08,560 Speaker 1: assume that we're all doing our best, so lay off 265 00:13:08,559 --> 00:13:09,319 Speaker 1: the eyeballs. 266 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:12,280 Speaker 3: I love that about you and I and I do 267 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:14,640 Speaker 3: feel but you can correct me if I'm wrong. I 268 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:19,640 Speaker 3: do feel like you don't put the pressure on yourself 269 00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:21,800 Speaker 3: to be like I need to be a perfect mom. 270 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:23,680 Speaker 3: I need to look like I have it all together 271 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,560 Speaker 3: all the time. I you know, like an eye and 272 00:13:26,679 --> 00:13:29,920 Speaker 3: even the mom guilt. I think that you've done such 273 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:35,520 Speaker 3: a great job at understanding the nuances to motherhood and 274 00:13:35,679 --> 00:13:37,800 Speaker 3: that we don't need to feel guilty over it. 275 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:40,800 Speaker 4: Well, thank you for that. That's a huge compliment. 276 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:43,800 Speaker 1: But I don't think we need to feel guilty about it. 277 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:48,160 Speaker 1: I think that I think that I think we need 278 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,840 Speaker 1: to have and give ourselves and others more grace. 279 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:54,600 Speaker 4: I think that it's it's hard. It's hard being a parent. 280 00:13:55,559 --> 00:13:59,200 Speaker 1: It's also magical and wonderful and one of the coolest 281 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:02,920 Speaker 1: things I've ever ever gotten to experience. I don't know, like, 282 00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:06,560 Speaker 1: let everybody do it how they want to do it. 283 00:14:06,559 --> 00:14:08,360 Speaker 1: It's kind of how I feel, and I definitely don't 284 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:10,120 Speaker 1: think I don't even know what perfect is. 285 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,040 Speaker 3: I don't know what it is either. That's such an 286 00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:15,439 Speaker 3: interesting question, like what is perfect? Yeah, I think. I 287 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:20,280 Speaker 3: think the pressure to whatever that is has become like 288 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:24,160 Speaker 3: social media obviously, and and all these different accounts that 289 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:28,360 Speaker 3: portray whatever their version of perfect is makes it harder 290 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:33,360 Speaker 3: to potentially lean into being quote unquote perfect or trying 291 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:37,240 Speaker 3: to aspire to be quote unquote perfect. But I agree, I. 292 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:38,240 Speaker 4: Don't even know what that is. 293 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:46,480 Speaker 1: The only time that I feel compromised or I'm gonna 294 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:49,480 Speaker 1: I'm gonna choose to say less then, because that's closest to 295 00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:53,440 Speaker 1: how I feel is if, for some reason, my lack 296 00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:57,280 Speaker 1: of attention to either emails, handouts that go. 297 00:14:57,280 --> 00:15:01,480 Speaker 4: In backpacks or or to maut or what's. 298 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:04,560 Speaker 3: It called team snap, all the things. 299 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:07,520 Speaker 1: And all the ways that you know, your children's stuff 300 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:10,000 Speaker 1: gets communicated to you when I don't see it or 301 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:12,440 Speaker 1: I've missed something in one of my kids kind of 302 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:16,760 Speaker 1: you know, the consequence that follow on them, you know, 303 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:19,920 Speaker 1: like they show up and yeah, you know a day 304 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:22,760 Speaker 1: and they're not dressed. Yeah, yeah, you know, if they 305 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:24,680 Speaker 1: if they if they don't show up for the game, 306 00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:26,720 Speaker 1: because I got moved to a different field. If they 307 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:31,280 Speaker 1: that kind of stuff, that that can make me feel. 308 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:35,240 Speaker 3: Like I just because I feel that I've. 309 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:38,520 Speaker 1: Disappointed my kid in somehow some way, or like because 310 00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:41,280 Speaker 1: of something that I've not done, I'm a little That's 311 00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:42,920 Speaker 1: when I can be a little hard on myself. 312 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:45,840 Speaker 3: I'm hard on myself too about that. Here's what's frustrating 313 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:48,000 Speaker 3: to me about school right now in twenty twenty five. 314 00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:50,640 Speaker 3: It's not that you have one place that you log 315 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:54,400 Speaker 3: in that has all the information. They're like, hey, we 316 00:15:54,520 --> 00:16:00,560 Speaker 3: have about thirty different sites everything. It's like, here's the 317 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:04,160 Speaker 3: lunch side. But once you're once you're on here, you 318 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:06,960 Speaker 3: can't find the after school activity site. That's a different 319 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:08,040 Speaker 3: site that we've invented. 320 00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:10,200 Speaker 4: Why are you so funny? 321 00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:16,000 Speaker 1: You get to the heart of it so quickly? 322 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:30,480 Speaker 3: Those small winds, seriously that I get is when I 323 00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:33,840 Speaker 3: realized that I even know the password for one of 324 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:37,280 Speaker 3: those sites, because I'm so fking tired of being like, 325 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:42,560 Speaker 3: what's your usual name? I don't know I have kids, 326 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:47,280 Speaker 3: help me. This is my email, my email, I don't 327 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:48,480 Speaker 3: know my. 328 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:52,120 Speaker 1: Email all caps, my email lowercase, my email with the 329 00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:52,840 Speaker 1: handle of that. 330 00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:57,840 Speaker 3: So let's give ourselves like the small fucking winds. We 331 00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:00,600 Speaker 3: know a password to one of those. 332 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:02,760 Speaker 4: When we're able to log into Vera Cross. 333 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:09,280 Speaker 3: Fresh Lunches, when I've when I've logged into Fresh Lunches, 334 00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:12,800 Speaker 3: or when I've said the joy, I get the literally 335 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:16,479 Speaker 3: like am I amazing? When that password has been saved 336 00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:18,960 Speaker 3: into my phone and it's like to log in, and 337 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:24,159 Speaker 3: I'm like, oh my god, y, why am I winning 338 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:26,560 Speaker 3: it live today? And I can't even navigate that site, 339 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:28,840 Speaker 3: by the way, because they make it not user friendly. 340 00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:32,040 Speaker 3: Whatever that link is that I need, Yeah, not there. 341 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:34,600 Speaker 3: So I take the small wins. As a parent, I'm 342 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:37,760 Speaker 3: very tight b too, So it's like those those those 343 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:42,000 Speaker 3: those borderline type A wins for me, they feel real good. 344 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:47,600 Speaker 5: I really felt that what you just said, every word 345 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:52,080 Speaker 5: of it, single word, And anyone who's listening right now, 346 00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:55,720 Speaker 5: if you're a child, you just you you you put 347 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:59,320 Speaker 5: just press pause, wait till I'm finished, and then press pose. 348 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:02,120 Speaker 4: Okay, if you're a child and you're old. 349 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:06,000 Speaker 1: Enough to communicate to your parent, just just communicate thank 350 00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:10,200 Speaker 1: you to them right now. Just say yeah, dad, mom, mom, dad, dad, 351 00:18:10,359 --> 00:18:13,080 Speaker 1: I thank you, thank you for logging in, thank you 352 00:18:13,119 --> 00:18:15,320 Speaker 1: for logging in and knowing your user name and passwords. 353 00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:17,199 Speaker 1: Now you can press pause and do that and then 354 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,520 Speaker 1: when you come back, I will tell you that as 355 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:22,760 Speaker 1: a parent, it's some it's a crazy wild world out there, 356 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:27,320 Speaker 1: and you're right, there's ninety five hundred different sites use 357 00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:28,520 Speaker 1: your names and passwords. 358 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:33,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, because back in our day there, our parents got 359 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:34,960 Speaker 3: some home with a little piece of paper. It was 360 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,159 Speaker 3: in the backpack. I love a piece of paper. Let 361 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:38,840 Speaker 3: me fill it out, let me put it back in. 362 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:41,440 Speaker 3: That's what I want to do. I want to do 363 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:45,439 Speaker 3: a little nineteen ninety eight parenting. That's what I like. 364 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:50,000 Speaker 3: Uh So, obviously the kids, I've seen you on shows 365 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:53,160 Speaker 3: for a very long time, so I'm assuming at this 366 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:56,639 Speaker 3: point they know what you do for a living. But 367 00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,879 Speaker 3: how do you kind of explain your job in this 368 00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:00,760 Speaker 3: world to them? 369 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:01,520 Speaker 1: Well? 370 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:03,800 Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I'm same same to you. 371 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:04,200 Speaker 3: Right. 372 00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:08,639 Speaker 1: We kind of go away and at different ages they 373 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:10,919 Speaker 1: understand it differently. I mean, I think when they're younger, 374 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:13,280 Speaker 1: it's just your away and then you're back. They don't 375 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,720 Speaker 1: really care. They don't even they're not even attaching you 376 00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:17,320 Speaker 1: doing something wherever you go. 377 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:20,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, Haye, it's like you're kind of a doctor all 378 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:23,600 Speaker 3: the other day. She was like, you're She was confused, 379 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:26,320 Speaker 3: like you're getting married because I was like talking to 380 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:29,800 Speaker 3: Matt and I was like yes, but on the show. 381 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,680 Speaker 3: And then Lucas the other day said you have a job, 382 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:41,000 Speaker 3: so that's where I met Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. 383 00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:44,239 Speaker 1: Well and then also you add into it once you've 384 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:45,440 Speaker 1: explained your job. 385 00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:47,480 Speaker 4: And I always do it. I'm so you can only 386 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:48,159 Speaker 4: imagine me. 387 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:51,359 Speaker 1: It's like I give the most flowery explanation about the 388 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:52,480 Speaker 1: storytelling and. 389 00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:58,280 Speaker 4: The job that I have is a storyteller, and then 390 00:19:58,480 --> 00:19:59,359 Speaker 4: you and then they're like. 391 00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but like what can I actually see 392 00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:03,119 Speaker 1: that you do? And they're like, okay, I see that 393 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,280 Speaker 1: that people come up and that they like this stuck 394 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:07,240 Speaker 1: you know, that they want to talk about this Arizona 395 00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:10,640 Speaker 1: think situation. And then now there's this new job where 396 00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:12,919 Speaker 1: they're like, okay, I don't don't completely get it, but 397 00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:16,240 Speaker 1: there is so much, you know, at their level being 398 00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:19,320 Speaker 1: sort of reported and or their friends are saying like, 399 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:21,960 Speaker 1: you know, oh my gosh, your mom was on Instagram 400 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,639 Speaker 1: or whatever. I think they think maybe my job is 401 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:26,600 Speaker 1: on Instagram, like like I like I post things for 402 00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:27,520 Speaker 1: a like. 403 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,359 Speaker 3: Do they like influencer status? 404 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:33,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, like maybe I just dressed up and 405 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,440 Speaker 1: hair and makeup and different outfits and then I. 406 00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:37,520 Speaker 3: Just post pictures and then you're just like, are you 407 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:39,679 Speaker 3: walking through the house with the ring light? You're like, 408 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:42,080 Speaker 3: I might just yeah, yeah, just in case, Yeah, you 409 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:47,880 Speaker 3: catch some good content. Nothing is further from who I'm 410 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:50,880 Speaker 3: laughing because I'm like, this is just so, this. 411 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:54,040 Speaker 1: Is a complete It actually sounds like my nightmare. My 412 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:55,840 Speaker 1: name is it is your nightmare. 413 00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:58,359 Speaker 3: It's my nightmare too. I don't want to do that. 414 00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:00,879 Speaker 1: No, I do not, but yes, okay, so they understand, 415 00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:06,480 Speaker 1: and but they there none of my kids have exited 416 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:10,560 Speaker 1: the you know, ego centric phase of their lives like there, 417 00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:14,119 Speaker 1: they just want to know what. What they care about 418 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:17,280 Speaker 1: with regards to my job is just how it affects them, 419 00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:19,840 Speaker 1: Like how does your job affect. 420 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:21,480 Speaker 4: Us in any way, shape or form. 421 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:23,320 Speaker 1: Although I don't know if I told you this, but 422 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:27,520 Speaker 1: because I was so touched by this, I was going 423 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:31,240 Speaker 1: to maybe do the show. And we knew that it 424 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:33,720 Speaker 1: was in Nashville, which is not far from New York City, 425 00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:36,160 Speaker 1: and there's ten non stuff flights a day from Lagordia, 426 00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:38,399 Speaker 1: so it's all it's all good and and as easy 427 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:42,200 Speaker 1: as it could be, right, but it was still like okay, 428 00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:46,199 Speaker 1: it's it's a it's a minute away. And I was 429 00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:48,520 Speaker 1: just doing a lot of talking about it out loud, 430 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:51,639 Speaker 1: like okay, well this is what this means, and and 431 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:54,520 Speaker 1: obviously like there would be time away and then back 432 00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:56,280 Speaker 1: and then we figured it out and the girls were 433 00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:58,240 Speaker 1: kind of like, you know, yeah, okay, and again, how 434 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,720 Speaker 1: does this affect me and our schedule and everything else? 435 00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:03,520 Speaker 1: And it was probably like the fourth or fifth time 436 00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:06,879 Speaker 1: that Luke had heard me say like you know, I mean, 437 00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:11,000 Speaker 1: I think he heard me not worrying about being mindful, 438 00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:13,560 Speaker 1: like just like, ooh, how's this going to work out? 439 00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:16,280 Speaker 4: And he stopped me and he said. 440 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:26,880 Speaker 1: Mom, you haven't done what you love doing the most. 441 00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:27,680 Speaker 3: For more than a minute. 442 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:31,760 Speaker 1: And I can't even imagine if I couldn't, you know, 443 00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:35,600 Speaker 1: pursue my passion for more than a minute. So of 444 00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:38,320 Speaker 1: course you're going to go, and of course we're going 445 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,480 Speaker 1: to figure out how to make it work, and of 446 00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:42,520 Speaker 1: course it will all work out. 447 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:44,480 Speaker 4: And I truly looked at. 448 00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:48,560 Speaker 1: My child young man, and I got like tears like 449 00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:52,640 Speaker 1: sprung to my eyes, and I was so touched that 450 00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:56,119 Speaker 1: he was a well number one able to console me, 451 00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:00,960 Speaker 1: comfort me, but that he was looking at it that way, 452 00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:04,560 Speaker 1: that he was looking at it like your job and 453 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:05,320 Speaker 1: your work. 454 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:09,000 Speaker 4: I was gonnaybe cry out, Like your job and your work. 455 00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:12,240 Speaker 1: Means so much to you, and you haven't been doing 456 00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:13,960 Speaker 1: it because you've been taking care of us, or you've 457 00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:16,640 Speaker 1: been you know, creating other places that you can work, 458 00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:18,840 Speaker 1: where you can be home a little bit more or whatever. 459 00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:21,240 Speaker 4: It being in Nashville should not get in the way 460 00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:21,920 Speaker 4: of you doing it. 461 00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:23,520 Speaker 3: And I was so. 462 00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:27,880 Speaker 4: I was blown away. I was really blown away by that. 463 00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:30,480 Speaker 1: And I was just also very very very proud of 464 00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:36,040 Speaker 1: him and his perspective and his kindness, his kindness of 465 00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:38,359 Speaker 1: giving that to me because I really needed it. 466 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:42,400 Speaker 4: I needed him, I needed him. I needed that feeling 467 00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:45,080 Speaker 4: from my family. Yeah, going to go do something important. 468 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:49,560 Speaker 3: Oh my god, Luke, I know, Luke. Oh what a 469 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:53,080 Speaker 3: mush And did you do you feel like it like settled, 470 00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:55,640 Speaker 3: like helbed ground it for you? Yes. 471 00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:59,040 Speaker 4: I think it might have been the actual lynch pin moment. 472 00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:02,359 Speaker 1: It might have been the actual exact moment that I 473 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:06,199 Speaker 1: felt really at peace and I was sort of in 474 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:08,199 Speaker 1: a way all this sounds crazy, but like I was 475 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:13,240 Speaker 1: allowed to just be excited about it, yeah. 476 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:14,760 Speaker 3: And know that it was he he. 477 00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:17,760 Speaker 1: Made me feel like it was gonna be okay. However, 478 00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:19,480 Speaker 1: I got done and we didn't know, but it was 479 00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:22,879 Speaker 1: gonna be okay, and it is and it's gonna be 480 00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:23,480 Speaker 1: so exciting. 481 00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:26,320 Speaker 3: And I'm telling you what those kids are gonna They're 482 00:24:26,359 --> 00:24:28,960 Speaker 3: gonna fall in love with Nashville and they do get 483 00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:29,760 Speaker 3: to go with you. 484 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:32,200 Speaker 1: I know, I know, I know, I know. And it's 485 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,400 Speaker 1: not you know, summertimes. So it's also a little more flexibility. 486 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:36,800 Speaker 1: It's gonna be great, it's gonna be perfect. But I 487 00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:40,560 Speaker 1: do think obviously we've talked about mom guilt with regards 488 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:44,520 Speaker 1: to us and how we manage it. That being said, 489 00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:47,639 Speaker 1: there's so many different kinds of jobs, and all different 490 00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:52,000 Speaker 1: kinds of jobs have a lot of different limitations. And 491 00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:55,199 Speaker 1: I think that that's why I said that. You know, 492 00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:57,600 Speaker 1: I can only speak from my perspective. I don't know 493 00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:00,959 Speaker 1: what everyone else's you know, job is, or how they 494 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,040 Speaker 1: get it done and everything else. But I think that 495 00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:07,439 Speaker 1: when because it's so specific, I think this idea of 496 00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:11,680 Speaker 1: mom guilt, I don't you don't hear dad guilt as much, but. 497 00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:13,440 Speaker 4: I think that you have to sort of like. 498 00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:18,320 Speaker 3: Be gentle with yourself, yeah. 499 00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:19,680 Speaker 1: Whatever it is that you do, and find the other 500 00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:23,040 Speaker 1: moms in your community who who get it and who 501 00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:25,359 Speaker 1: are also who are definitely not side eyeing you and 502 00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:27,840 Speaker 1: are definitely the ones where you know I always I 503 00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:31,160 Speaker 1: mean listen, I clearly love humor, but like the other 504 00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:35,600 Speaker 1: parents at school that get you, or that you understand, 505 00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:37,240 Speaker 1: or you that you like or that you laugh with 506 00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:40,200 Speaker 1: or whatever, and I think that I mean, listen, the 507 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:44,439 Speaker 1: best case scenarios then, like my favorite favorite communities in 508 00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:46,840 Speaker 1: school to be in have been ones where people were like, 509 00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:50,960 Speaker 1: how can I help, Like, yeah, let's let's let's figure 510 00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:53,240 Speaker 1: out the carpool, let's figure out like I can't do 511 00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:55,520 Speaker 1: this volunteer thing, but you can. And like I mean 512 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:57,600 Speaker 1: even today, you know, I couldn't be at this thing 513 00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:00,440 Speaker 1: this morning, and and I got a bunch of videos 514 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:03,000 Speaker 1: of my kids, Oh my god, I from other parents 515 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:04,040 Speaker 1: and it was so great. 516 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:10,040 Speaker 3: I am so blessed to have found the mom group 517 00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:14,159 Speaker 3: that I have that I feel very like I really 518 00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:18,120 Speaker 3: dearly love them all, and the same when I there 519 00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:19,639 Speaker 3: are times when I haven't been able to be there, 520 00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:22,960 Speaker 3: and I'll receive so many different videos from different angles. 521 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:25,440 Speaker 3: I know that none of them are like she can't 522 00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:29,840 Speaker 3: be here, you know, absolutely not. There's definitely like help 523 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:32,199 Speaker 3: with the carpool and then pick up. We're all in 524 00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:36,080 Speaker 3: it together. And I do think it's important when you're 525 00:26:36,119 --> 00:26:39,400 Speaker 3: in a position of having the demands of working and 526 00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:43,800 Speaker 3: mom working, that you find those people. So let's talk 527 00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:46,520 Speaker 3: about some articles that have been written that were kind 528 00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:52,160 Speaker 3: of interesting to me. So today didn't did a whole 529 00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:54,479 Speaker 3: thing on this, and it was what is mom guilt 530 00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:56,240 Speaker 3: and how can you manage it? And it was a 531 00:26:56,280 --> 00:27:00,560 Speaker 3: therapy a therapist, a mom befour broke it down and 532 00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:04,840 Speaker 3: uh and how to manage mom guilt? And she said 533 00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:07,720 Speaker 3: number one, stop, Oh, this is a good one. Stop 534 00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:11,879 Speaker 3: shooting on yourself. We have to accept we are doing 535 00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:14,199 Speaker 3: the best we can. Like, you should be doing this, 536 00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:17,560 Speaker 3: you should be I should have done you know, there's 537 00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:21,399 Speaker 3: so much happening. Yeah, I think that that's a good one. 538 00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:25,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, really every area of life. 539 00:27:26,119 --> 00:27:28,919 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, stop shooting. Let's stop shooting. 540 00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:32,360 Speaker 4: Sounds like you're saying stop shitting, I mean. 541 00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:37,080 Speaker 3: Stop shitting the shitting well, you know, of course you 542 00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:41,680 Speaker 3: would segue you guys, listeners know at this point, if 543 00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:44,760 Speaker 3: Justin can segue to a poop or a fart, it 544 00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:47,320 Speaker 3: might happen. Okay. 545 00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:50,159 Speaker 4: Number two, consider the positives. 546 00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:51,280 Speaker 3: Of mom guilt. Oh interesting. 547 00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:53,879 Speaker 1: Remind yourself that it's if you might be having a 548 00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:56,200 Speaker 1: mom fail, but that you're not a failure as a mom. 549 00:27:56,440 --> 00:28:00,480 Speaker 3: Ooh. Separate the incident from your idea. 550 00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:02,919 Speaker 4: M h ooh, I like that. 551 00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:08,439 Speaker 3: Okay. Number three, talk to other empathetic moms, which we 552 00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:09,320 Speaker 3: just talked about. 553 00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:10,040 Speaker 1: Yep. 554 00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:11,640 Speaker 4: Number four. 555 00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:14,040 Speaker 1: Focus on your winds, which is what you do when 556 00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:16,000 Speaker 1: you get into just one of those websites. 557 00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:19,680 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, are you kidding? Mommy deserves a medal. 558 00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:24,359 Speaker 4: Number five put it all in perspective. 559 00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:28,119 Speaker 3: That's a good one because sometimes like you're operating in 560 00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:32,879 Speaker 3: a way that's like just so like within the moment. Yeah, 561 00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:38,680 Speaker 3: taking that bird's eye view back is all good Forbes 562 00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:43,600 Speaker 3: navigating the guilt of balancing career, ambitions and motherhood. More 563 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:46,520 Speaker 3: than one third of mothers in the USA it's possible 564 00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:52,000 Speaker 3: to combine a career a motherhood. I think I agree 565 00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:53,920 Speaker 3: with it. I think you know, it just comes with 566 00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:56,320 Speaker 3: a lettle of course, it's possible. It just comes a 567 00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:57,560 Speaker 3: lot of how. 568 00:28:57,440 --> 00:29:00,400 Speaker 4: We do it, it's how we do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 569 00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:02,880 Speaker 4: Ambition and working mothers is often misunderstood. 570 00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:06,200 Speaker 1: They're expected to prioritize motherhood above all else, yet are 571 00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:09,480 Speaker 1: also pressured to excel in their careers. This one gets 572 00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:15,479 Speaker 1: under muskin, probably because it hits me where it hurts. 573 00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:19,640 Speaker 3: Probably because I feel it. I feel it, I do, 574 00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:20,440 Speaker 3: I feel like. 575 00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:25,600 Speaker 1: Obviously above all else. Right, Oh yeah, of course you 576 00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:28,200 Speaker 1: would do anything. You would throw your body in front 577 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:32,680 Speaker 1: of you know, it's our job, it's in our biology, 578 00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:39,000 Speaker 1: it's in our culture, everything. And sometimes we're at work 579 00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:41,800 Speaker 1: and I remember the hardest days were the days where 580 00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:44,520 Speaker 1: like one of the kids would be sick, and that's 581 00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:46,800 Speaker 1: when I would be like, oh, I can't believe. 582 00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:47,480 Speaker 3: I'm to believe. 583 00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,480 Speaker 1: I think it's so hard, no matter what your job is, 584 00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:52,360 Speaker 1: no matter where your job is, no matter how long 585 00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:54,600 Speaker 1: you have to be gone for work or whatever. This 586 00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:59,400 Speaker 1: idea that you are meant to always be holding your 587 00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:01,240 Speaker 1: family and your children. 588 00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:05,200 Speaker 4: Above all else but the herd. 589 00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:08,360 Speaker 3: Here's the fucking reality of this. Let's call it right. 590 00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:12,480 Speaker 3: We're working, yes, because we might love our jobs, or 591 00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:16,400 Speaker 3: maybe you don't love your job. You're working to earn money. 592 00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:21,440 Speaker 3: Most likely, to support your family. Yeah, so the work 593 00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:28,920 Speaker 3: is prioritizing motherhood. I know, women are expected to work 594 00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:31,240 Speaker 3: like they don't have children and mother like they don't 595 00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:34,480 Speaker 3: work constantly. Carrying this heavy burden of responsibility will of 596 00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:39,160 Speaker 3: course inevitably lead to the guilt of always falling short. 597 00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:42,120 Speaker 3: This is this is this is on the heads of 598 00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:45,800 Speaker 3: the people that run these companies, because you don't actually 599 00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:48,040 Speaker 3: have to have this tone in the workplace at all. 600 00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:52,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, the responsibility does fall on the companies that or 601 00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:55,080 Speaker 1: the people that employ you know, working parents. 602 00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:56,600 Speaker 4: And I think it's really important. 603 00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:59,000 Speaker 1: I think that's an incredibly, incredibly good point, and it 604 00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:02,560 Speaker 1: puts the responsibility where it should be. And I also 605 00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:06,800 Speaker 1: think that it's why I feel very cozy, uh in 606 00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:13,480 Speaker 1: my relationship, to compromise as opposed to balance. On any 607 00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:18,520 Speaker 1: given day, I might be a great mom, but probably 608 00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:20,040 Speaker 1: on that day I wasn't great at work. 609 00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:21,560 Speaker 3: Yeah. And we've talked about this. 610 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:23,640 Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, I just don't really can't do it. 611 00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:25,320 Speaker 1: You can't do it all at one time. You can 612 00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:26,640 Speaker 1: do it, you can try to do it all, but 613 00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:27,800 Speaker 1: you can't do it all at one time. 614 00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:30,000 Speaker 3: And the truth is, I look at Lucas and I 615 00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:32,480 Speaker 3: look at Hayden. If they have kids one day, I 616 00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:35,840 Speaker 3: don't want them to feel I don't want I want 617 00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:36,160 Speaker 3: them to. 618 00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:39,240 Speaker 4: Take the pressure off themselves too. Yeah do you know 619 00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:39,720 Speaker 4: what I mean? 620 00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:42,560 Speaker 3: Like, I don't want them to have to navigate any 621 00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:48,760 Speaker 3: sort of parenthood situation where they feel like it's on 622 00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:52,360 Speaker 3: them to to always be perfect. It's not. It's not 623 00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:56,200 Speaker 3: going to be so like they're definitely seeing that for me. 624 00:31:56,840 --> 00:32:15,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay, So let's hear from our crew. 625 00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:17,800 Speaker 1: Maria wrote in and said, I'm thirty five and I 626 00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:20,520 Speaker 1: decided today that it's time to reclaim my career now 627 00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:21,400 Speaker 1: that my kids are. 628 00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:21,920 Speaker 4: Two and four. 629 00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:27,160 Speaker 3: Get excited for you, go do it. Leah says, I'm 630 00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:29,640 Speaker 3: a nurse who works night shifts. I tend to push 631 00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:32,280 Speaker 3: myself to stay awake when I should sleep because I 632 00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:34,040 Speaker 3: don't want to miss anything with my kids. I have 633 00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:37,160 Speaker 3: so much guilt if I can't be the fun mom 634 00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:41,240 Speaker 3: I want to be. I hear you, I really hear you, 635 00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:45,120 Speaker 3: And honestly I think that calling it and being like 636 00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:48,480 Speaker 3: I am so tired. I love you guys, and just 637 00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:53,240 Speaker 3: being honest about how you're feeling, like I am really 638 00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:56,480 Speaker 3: stressed out. Right now, I need silence. Meeting honest with 639 00:32:56,560 --> 00:32:59,120 Speaker 3: where I'm The litmus test of where I'm not in 640 00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:02,320 Speaker 3: the day helps me feel less guilty. Actually, so they 641 00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:04,360 Speaker 3: know what I'm just like, why won't MO play with us? 642 00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:06,520 Speaker 3: It's like I think they're getting they're learning to be 643 00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:11,760 Speaker 3: empathetic to other humans because I'm explaining right, yeah, I'm 644 00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:12,280 Speaker 3: being human. 645 00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:14,880 Speaker 1: Also, Leah, you are a hero. I mean you're a 646 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:19,760 Speaker 1: nurse who works night shifts. That is incredible. So give 647 00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:24,480 Speaker 1: yourself a bit of grace there. They will understand. It 648 00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:27,880 Speaker 1: might not be right now, but they will understand later 649 00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:29,800 Speaker 1: in life just what that means. 650 00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:32,640 Speaker 4: And and wow, you're you're awesome. 651 00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:37,480 Speaker 1: Blake wrote in and said, when I'm off work, i 652 00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:40,200 Speaker 1: am off no apps on my phone related to work. 653 00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:46,040 Speaker 1: Good for you, Yes, for you, smart too, It's true, 654 00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:47,320 Speaker 1: you gotta put the phone down. 655 00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:51,160 Speaker 3: We had this experience on Grey's Anatomy where from the 656 00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:56,760 Speaker 3: top down, starting with Shonda Rhimes, right, I learned that 657 00:33:56,880 --> 00:34:00,360 Speaker 3: there were people set boundaries of hey, this is the 658 00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:01,600 Speaker 3: time that I'm going to switch off. 659 00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:04,960 Speaker 4: Oh yes, and her emails yes exactly. 660 00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:08,240 Speaker 3: And I loved that because I thought, like Seanda Rhymes 661 00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:10,600 Speaker 3: is creating this boundary for herself where she's like, Okay, 662 00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:13,840 Speaker 3: this is my time where I'm I'm taking time to 663 00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:16,600 Speaker 3: do whatever I need to do. Maybe that's a great 664 00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:20,200 Speaker 3: and it sort of gave us all permission to there's 665 00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:23,160 Speaker 3: work time and then home time. Yes, exactly right. But 666 00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:26,360 Speaker 3: I don't think that everyone gets that, and I really 667 00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:27,840 Speaker 3: appreciate No, they. 668 00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:29,879 Speaker 1: All like expect you to if you don't answer within 669 00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:31,600 Speaker 1: you know, five minutes, I. 670 00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:33,960 Speaker 3: Need to be available at like eleven PM. 671 00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:34,560 Speaker 1: People. 672 00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:38,919 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Kelsey. Boundaries there were there 673 00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:41,759 Speaker 3: are there are a few years that my child needs me. 674 00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:43,320 Speaker 3: Work will always be there. 675 00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:46,880 Speaker 4: Mm hmm. There you go. Well it's gonna be more 676 00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:50,600 Speaker 4: than a few years, Kelsey that your child needs you. Yeah. 677 00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:54,040 Speaker 1: I'm not familiar with this term. I think it's so incredible. 678 00:34:54,400 --> 00:35:00,160 Speaker 1: There's parenting which is assigned to I guess when they're adolescents, 679 00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:03,799 Speaker 1: and then once they've exited adolescens. A friend of mine 680 00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:06,920 Speaker 1: was saying that that's you then enter a parent You 681 00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:11,480 Speaker 1: then enter a period of adulting because you really I 682 00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:13,719 Speaker 1: swear once they cross over, like even if they cross 683 00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:15,440 Speaker 1: past twenty five, they still need you. 684 00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:19,440 Speaker 4: And also the whole like little kids, little problems. 685 00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:21,520 Speaker 1: Like out I I heard my I scratch my knee, 686 00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:24,120 Speaker 1: or like oh I'm being left out at the lunch table. 687 00:35:24,160 --> 00:35:26,759 Speaker 1: But then they're like big kids, big problems, and all 688 00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:30,120 Speaker 1: of a sudden you're dealing with like drinking and you're dealing. 689 00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:33,000 Speaker 3: With drugs or mom, there's what my apartments flooded? Who 690 00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:35,600 Speaker 3: do I call? And you're like, damn, you know what? Though, 691 00:35:35,719 --> 00:35:44,279 Speaker 3: you know what? Though less websites, less websites, no user. 692 00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:48,200 Speaker 4: Name for it, no user name, don't need a password. 693 00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:52,880 Speaker 3: Jennifer said, meeting everyone's needs feels impossible. Having a village 694 00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:56,600 Speaker 3: is so important. That's a lot of conversations happening right 695 00:35:56,680 --> 00:36:01,160 Speaker 3: now about how in twenty twenty five I've raising children. 696 00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:06,160 Speaker 3: A village is harder to come by. A lot of 697 00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:11,879 Speaker 3: conversations around this, and if you can build one, it is, Yes, 698 00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:15,040 Speaker 3: do it. It's so important. But people are finding this 699 00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:15,880 Speaker 3: really hard. 700 00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:17,600 Speaker 4: Yeah. 701 00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:20,200 Speaker 1: Just Rodan And said hardcore mom guilt when I lose 702 00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:24,160 Speaker 1: my cool and yell, okay, just we've all been here. 703 00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:27,319 Speaker 1: We've all been here. If you're not if you're not screaming, 704 00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:29,000 Speaker 1: you're not paying attention. 705 00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:37,959 Speaker 3: You don't care on a T shirt. Oh my god, 706 00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:41,440 Speaker 3: I'll never take it off if you're And that's how 707 00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:45,200 Speaker 3: I'm gonna say. If I'm not screaming, then I'm not 708 00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:48,960 Speaker 3: paying attention. Okay. 709 00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:50,360 Speaker 4: But here's what I think about that. 710 00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:54,200 Speaker 1: Is that that's part of life, and we need to 711 00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:56,200 Speaker 1: we well, first of all, we need to we need 712 00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:59,719 Speaker 1: to be responsible with our anger right and never let 713 00:36:59,719 --> 00:37:03,279 Speaker 1: it get oversized in the sense that like it's scary. Right. 714 00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:07,040 Speaker 1: We can have healthy anger, we can be upset, we 715 00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:09,359 Speaker 1: can lose our cool, we can yell, we can have 716 00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:12,480 Speaker 1: these things, and we can also let our kids know 717 00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:18,399 Speaker 1: that we're still in control, that we are okay, they 718 00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:21,000 Speaker 1: are okay. And then I think that the number one 719 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:24,000 Speaker 1: thing you do once your brain comes back online is 720 00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:27,760 Speaker 1: you can always say I'm. 721 00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:28,359 Speaker 4: Sorry about that. 722 00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:30,799 Speaker 1: I lost my cool and I yelled, and I you 723 00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:35,040 Speaker 1: know what, I'm I'm sorry because maybe I didn't even 724 00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:37,480 Speaker 1: just yell once. Maybe I yelled twice, and maybe I'm 725 00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:38,360 Speaker 1: gonna do it again tomorrow. 726 00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:38,759 Speaker 4: I don't know. 727 00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:40,560 Speaker 1: But and it's you know, I'm not trying to say like, 728 00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:43,680 Speaker 1: you know, it's like a pattern of you know, of yelling. 729 00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:46,120 Speaker 1: But I think that when you take responsibility for it, 730 00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:49,080 Speaker 1: I think that it's it is part of life. 731 00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:54,800 Speaker 3: I've started to learn that actually I called you or 732 00:37:55,160 --> 00:38:00,600 Speaker 3: we were texting from the car my children. I've basically 733 00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:03,480 Speaker 3: that I need a moment and sometimes I just need 734 00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:06,239 Speaker 3: to Okay, So I just we're sitting so just because like, hey, 735 00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:09,280 Speaker 3: can you talk, and I'm like sure. I've been sitting 736 00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:11,640 Speaker 3: in my driveway for fifteen minutes because my kids on 737 00:38:11,719 --> 00:38:15,840 Speaker 3: the way home drove me so insane that I literally said, Jesus, 738 00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:18,919 Speaker 3: take the wheel, and Matt take the kids, and Matt 739 00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:20,680 Speaker 3: take the kids inside, and I don't even want to 740 00:38:20,719 --> 00:38:23,320 Speaker 3: see their little faces. And I just need to decompress 741 00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:26,520 Speaker 3: because I cannot parents. So I've learned those moments where 742 00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:29,960 Speaker 3: like it will be screaming unhinged for an hour if 743 00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:33,799 Speaker 3: I don't just sit. I gotta tell you. Also, I 744 00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:36,520 Speaker 3: gotta tell you, like I had a sneak peek of 745 00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:41,240 Speaker 3: teenage years possibly in this little exchange with Hayden last weekend, 746 00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:43,600 Speaker 3: and it could have ended up in me losing my cool, 747 00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:44,840 Speaker 3: but I walked away and then had I had to. 748 00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:46,400 Speaker 3: I had to come back and have a conversation with her. 749 00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:49,799 Speaker 3: But I'm gonna tell you how this conversation went. I 750 00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:52,920 Speaker 3: hate bedtimes, right, Like, my children are not like, oh 751 00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:55,880 Speaker 3: it's time to brush my teeth, okay, great, They're like 752 00:38:55,960 --> 00:39:00,279 Speaker 3: what oh my what chit aboth? You know, it's like 753 00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:05,439 Speaker 3: this whole thing. I was so overwhelmed and exhausted, and 754 00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:08,560 Speaker 3: I said something under my breath right that was like, oh, 755 00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:10,920 Speaker 3: these kids never lessen and I am having to do 756 00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:14,160 Speaker 3: and hat and walk by. And this is what she 757 00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:16,560 Speaker 3: This is what she said. She goes, that's being a parent. 758 00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:21,880 Speaker 3: And I turned around and I literally was so shocked 759 00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:23,680 Speaker 3: that she was like, that's being it. And she gave 760 00:39:23,719 --> 00:39:24,800 Speaker 3: me a look that was like kind of like a 761 00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:26,840 Speaker 3: little smart leg. That's what you get for having to 762 00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:29,719 Speaker 3: sign so you signed up for it. And I said, well, 763 00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:32,520 Speaker 3: you know what being a kid is. This is not 764 00:39:32,719 --> 00:39:33,760 Speaker 3: the mature response. 765 00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:35,319 Speaker 4: Wow, no, no, no. 766 00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:39,239 Speaker 3: I was like, being a kid means listening. And you 767 00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:42,560 Speaker 3: know what she said. She goes, I listened this morning. 768 00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:46,520 Speaker 3: By the way, this is like seven pm at night. 769 00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:49,759 Speaker 3: I had to walk I was so like, I had 770 00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:51,480 Speaker 3: to walk away and I went to Matt and I said, 771 00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:53,360 Speaker 3: let me just tell you what this tiny little exchange 772 00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:56,040 Speaker 3: that makes me really excited for fifteen years old, because 773 00:39:56,080 --> 00:39:58,000 Speaker 3: she's eight and then I had to come back and 774 00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:03,000 Speaker 3: like lay down some real nice Okay, Mom's not going 775 00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:04,080 Speaker 3: to be talk to you like that. 776 00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:05,000 Speaker 6: Guys. 777 00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:07,759 Speaker 1: I also love that you might be the number one 778 00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:11,960 Speaker 1: person that I know can deliver a comeback. Like if 779 00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:13,640 Speaker 1: I had to phone a frown, if I had to 780 00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:15,279 Speaker 1: bet on, if I was in Vegas, I had to 781 00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:17,360 Speaker 1: bet on someone, I. 782 00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:18,600 Speaker 3: Would literally like you. 783 00:40:18,719 --> 00:40:20,919 Speaker 1: It would be you, like so far like so far 784 00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:23,160 Speaker 1: ahead of everyone else I know that could come up 785 00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:25,400 Speaker 1: with an amazing comeback. You would be my go to 786 00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:29,320 Speaker 1: comeback girl. And that you did not deliver in that moment. 787 00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:32,400 Speaker 3: I did not and and and uh, that's what happened, 788 00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:36,160 Speaker 3: elder brother. She intimidated because what happened was is. 789 00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:40,719 Speaker 6: Her comeback, which was which was not a good comeback, 790 00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:43,760 Speaker 6: but it was a comeback of like I listen this morning, 791 00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:47,919 Speaker 6: was so confident that I think I did, said to Matt, 792 00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:51,040 Speaker 6: I think she has my comebacks, Like I think she 793 00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:52,280 Speaker 6: has the comeback Geene. 794 00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:55,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, and by fifteen she might start be starting to 795 00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:56,480 Speaker 3: perfect it. 796 00:40:57,040 --> 00:40:59,440 Speaker 1: She's eight now, and she got you, So what's the 797 00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:01,800 Speaker 1: or worth the growth that needs to have it? 798 00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:02,480 Speaker 3: She got you. 799 00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:03,480 Speaker 4: It's already done. 800 00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:08,600 Speaker 3: I mean it's cooking. Yeah, it's cooking, but I yes, 801 00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:11,920 Speaker 3: I've learned to walk away, but I've also learned that 802 00:41:12,040 --> 00:41:16,960 Speaker 3: I do yo. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and uh and yeah 803 00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:20,320 Speaker 3: you gotta walk you back listen less guilt for us moms. 804 00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:23,040 Speaker 3: We're really trying to we're trying our best out here. Yeah. 805 00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:24,920 Speaker 1: I also just think we need to replace guilt with 806 00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:28,840 Speaker 1: something else, Like I get we're tired of the I'm. 807 00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:30,120 Speaker 4: Like, why would anyone feel guilty? 808 00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:32,520 Speaker 1: I just think we need a better word, or we 809 00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:35,279 Speaker 1: need a better thing to replace guilt with. 810 00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:37,000 Speaker 4: Like, I don't know what that is. 811 00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:38,880 Speaker 3: I'm gonna yeah, I think it gets thrown around so 812 00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:41,759 Speaker 3: much that I'm tired of hearing it. Actually, yes, I 813 00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:43,759 Speaker 3: don't know what that term is. But I'm gonna think 814 00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:47,360 Speaker 3: on that too, because maybe we maybe we call the podcast. 815 00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:48,160 Speaker 4: Not mom guilt. I don't know. 816 00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:50,200 Speaker 3: You'll find out if we've thought of something, because it's 817 00:41:50,239 --> 00:41:52,720 Speaker 3: a different term. If it's mom guilt, then we haven't. 818 00:41:56,160 --> 00:41:58,919 Speaker 4: I think we're losing it now. I think now we're done. 819 00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:07,600 Speaker 3: Okay, let's call it. The end of the episode.