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Speaker 1: Scotty Are you ready for this? Oh? Yes, I am

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Speaker 1: ready to laugh and laugh.

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Speaker 2: That's pretty cool.

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Speaker 1: That's good.

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Speaker 3: The real meaning of Coco's nipple fetish.

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Speaker 2: There we go, let's.

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Speaker 1: Milk this for all. It's were on a brand spanking

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Speaker 1: live episode of Bananas from Helium in Portland, Oregon. Bananas

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Speaker 1: Bananas Okay, still world of his Head? Would you.

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Speaker 4: Did you?

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Speaker 1: Guys, gals and non binary pals. Welcome to Banana.

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Speaker 2: Well, we're happy to be here live.

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Speaker 3: From Portland, Oregon, a Helium Comedy Club.

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Speaker 1: I'm Kurt Brown older, I'm Banana Boy number two Scotty Landis.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to the silliest little podcat there.

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Speaker 1: Podcat Podcat I like on a podcast. I do too.

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Speaker 2: We're the number one podcast in the world.

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Speaker 3: I have two more shows tonight, and I guess I'm

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Speaker 3: gonna start drinking.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so go to those shows. They're gonna be wild.

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Speaker 1: That is I really was like, Nope, not can't do.

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna do it.

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Speaker 3: I'm not gonna be able to do two full hours

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Speaker 3: of stand up after a Banana's podcast.

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Speaker 1: We'll see.

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Speaker 3: Sure I'm gonna do it, sir, Yes I can. I

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Speaker 3: can tractually have.

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Speaker 1: To it's true. One thing before we get started. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we want you to feel like you're part of this show. Yes,

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Speaker 1: So on the count of three, I need everybody to

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Speaker 1: yell their first name so you can hear yourself when

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Speaker 1: this is released in two weeks. Yeah, ready, ready, one, two, three.

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Speaker 2: So listen in two weeks so you can hear that.

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Speaker 1: And here you'll be able to hear your name.

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Speaker 2: Tell your parents, tell your grandparents. Meme on. People need

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Speaker 2: to know.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't stop making me laugh.

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Speaker 3: What a wall of sound it It sounds.

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Speaker 1: Like you understand what like rock bands in the eighties

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Speaker 1: went through when they would walk on stage and nobody

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Speaker 1: could hear them.

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Speaker 2: It was just people going, that's like that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, did any so nobody flew up here from Los

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Speaker 1: Angeles right two o'clock flight yesterday, Delta LX. No. Okay,

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Speaker 1: well then you're not gonna believe what I'm about to say.

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Speaker 1: This is a it's a beautiful story. I got on

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Speaker 1: the plane and they we all sit planes there.

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Speaker 3: They saw the equipment they call it equipment in the

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Speaker 3: airline industry.

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Speaker 1: Gassed up, ready to go, and then the flight attendant,

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Speaker 1: a nice gentleman goes, ladies and gentlemen, we have a

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Speaker 1: twenty to thirty minute delay.

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Speaker 2: Fine, it happens all.

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Speaker 3: The times, all the time. He texted me, I was

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Speaker 3: gonna be thirty minutes.

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Speaker 1: It's gonna be thirty no problem, meet you at dinner.

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Speaker 1: There are twenty seven Japanese high school students lost in

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Speaker 1: lax that are on this flight, so we are gonna

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Speaker 1: go find them and bring them on. And then three

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Speaker 1: at a time, Japanese students, exchange students wearing high school clothing,

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Speaker 1: like like little skirts and like blazers, a little backpack

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Speaker 1: in the red tie. Yeah, like private school kids from

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Speaker 1: Japan were coming on three at a time. And I'm

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Speaker 1: sitting there going three, seven, nine, twelve, And then it

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Speaker 1: took forty minutes. And then the last one was just

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Speaker 1: a tall nerd and he was like, I don't know

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Speaker 1: how planes work, and then like walks up. It was

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Speaker 1: incredible to be delayed. And then they got on. They

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Speaker 1: closed the door, he took off. It was so awesome.

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Speaker 1: Was the best.

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Speaker 3: I love it so much. I wish I was there.

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Speaker 3: It also would have been cool if they all came

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Speaker 3: on exactly the same time.

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Speaker 2: I was hoping, I know, Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it felt like if you saw it in like

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Speaker 1: a John Hughes movie, you'd be like, this doesn't seem real,

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Speaker 1: This doesn't seem like whatever happened, it happens.

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Speaker 2: So that's la I was.

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Speaker 3: I got here two days ago and so yesterday I

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Speaker 3: was just walking around.

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Speaker 1: I love Portland. I love Portland, so of course it's beautiful.

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Speaker 1: Of course it's sunny every day here. Yeah, Sunshine City.

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Speaker 3: I just get in a tan I got at Sunburn, Okay,

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Speaker 3: and uh found this is what's great about Portland.

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Speaker 1: A half full bag of meth emphetamine on the street.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, truly, just I mean it was so full of meth,

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Speaker 3: so much meth that I definitely thought this has to

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Speaker 3: be attached to a fishing line. And there's someone with

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Speaker 3: a fishing pole trying to kill meth heads in the corner.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the dea like it's just gonna go as I

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Speaker 1: like try and grab it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I left it where it was. I left it where

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Speaker 1: it lay because I think it was.

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Speaker 3: It was definitely its customary, that's customary. Look, you see

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Speaker 3: baggies on the ground on the side all the time.

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Speaker 3: I'm always checking. I always look sandwich. I just want

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Speaker 3: to know, I just want to know, and that've never ever, ever, ever,

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Speaker 3: ever ever seen this much hard drugs. I've never seen

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Speaker 3: crystal meth in person, and I haven't either, but it

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Speaker 3: literally had a crystal.

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Speaker 1: In it like I've seen.

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Speaker 3: It was a white powder then with like a crystal

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Speaker 3: like a like like like the thing that made Superman's House.

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Speaker 3: Oh topic, like that kind of crystal topical nineteen seventy

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Speaker 3: nine top super Man movie topical.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, they're going to make more, you know they are?

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Speaker 1: Uh, And that that I was literally I was.

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Speaker 3: I was absolutely floored that there was that much.

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Speaker 1: I took a photograph.

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Speaker 2: There is it.

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Speaker 3: I don't know how, I don't know how much. Method

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Speaker 3: is probably a lot, but it definitely seems like a

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Speaker 3: full day's worth of my Yeah, and I just left

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Speaker 3: it because there's otherwise somebody is gonna.

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Speaker 2: Be very You don't pick up bags of methew find

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Speaker 2: on the street.

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Speaker 1: You do not old me maybe yeah, he's a dad.

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Speaker 3: Now I would have picked it up as a joke,

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Speaker 3: and then later I'd be like, all right, what we gotta.

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Speaker 1: Do with this? What's the street value of this? Do

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Speaker 1: we buy a convertible?

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Speaker 2: Oh? Man, what a town?

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Speaker 1: What a town.

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Speaker 3: All right, you want to hear this story, dude, I'm

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Speaker 3: so ready. All right, here it is.

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Speaker 2: This is.

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Speaker 1: It's a whole of the Chase Ape Nipples. I don't

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Speaker 1: know what Coco was.

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Speaker 2: Here we go.

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Speaker 3: So this originally came to me because it was a

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Speaker 3: different story.

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Speaker 1: And I'm going to tell you who sent in the

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Speaker 1: original story.

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Speaker 2: I believe you that.

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Speaker 3: Was actually about an orangutang and the person who says

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Speaker 3: it n Jessica peache Jessica Peachie sent it, thanks so

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Speaker 3: much on Instagram. And the original one was orangutang learns

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Speaker 3: to breastfeed by watching zoo keeper breastfeed her infant son.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, her swarming, you know, beautiful. The original chat GPT.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if it is GPT, but I said

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Speaker 1: it with confidence. It's a great two keys are the

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Speaker 1: original ai. Yeah, GPT stands for great. Nobody else is

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Speaker 1: saying that. So they watched a zoo keeper.

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Speaker 3: So it was it was a rangutang who never wasn't

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Speaker 3: being very maternal towards the child, uh and specifically not

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Speaker 3: breastfeeding the child. And so then the woman brought in

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Speaker 3: her own son, showed her breast and showed how the son,

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Speaker 3: like you know, was latched on and everything, and then

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Speaker 3: Rangutang learned it.

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Speaker 1: A beautiful, great story. And then I was like, there's

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Speaker 1: a lot of primating nipples.

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Speaker 3: Stuff going on, because makes you wonder. I remember that.

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Speaker 3: So there was a lawsuit in two thousand and four

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Speaker 3: against Penny Penny Parker.

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Speaker 2: Penny Parker, I don't know if.

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Speaker 3: That's her name, Penny Patterson, Francine Penny Patterson. She's a

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Speaker 3: woman who taught Coco how to sign.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Coco the Gorilla, Coca the Gorilla. Everybody get up

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Speaker 1: for Coco the Gorilla. Of course, of course you give

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Speaker 1: it up for Coco the Gorilla.

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Speaker 3: So it was a lawsuit that Penny the scientists was

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Speaker 3: forcing other female scientists who worked with Coco to show

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Speaker 3: Coco their nipples.

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Speaker 1: Fine, I mean, not the forcing part, but showing a

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Speaker 1: gorilla your nipples is fine. The forcing part very bad,

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Speaker 1: very bad. So they sued. They sued for sexual harassment.

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Speaker 2: I bet they did.

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Speaker 1: In from pet bet they did, and I believe they won.

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Speaker 2: I bet they did.

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Speaker 1: But there was so I.

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Speaker 3: Remember when it came out because I just started doing

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Speaker 3: stand up and I was just like, this is it.

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Speaker 3: I'm going to do something about this. No one knows

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Speaker 3: about it. It's a very no well known story, so

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Speaker 3: it never worked in stand up. So but this is

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Speaker 3: a fascinating article. This article was in Slate dot com.

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Speaker 1: I've heard of that. Yeah, it was written by Charles Seife.

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Speaker 1: We'll do better on the next one. That was sort

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Speaker 1: of disjointed. We're gonna really let it rip.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and I should just set you up with the

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Speaker 3: next time not who is And then you guys are

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Speaker 3: like that, we.

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Speaker 2: Don't know what you want from us, man, And.

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Speaker 3: This is such a strange So, yeah, the title of

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Speaker 3: it is the real meaning of Coco's purported nipple fetish.

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Speaker 3: Great and this was right after the title Coco passed away,

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Speaker 3: and this was in twenty eighteen. Lady King and they

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Speaker 3: were talking about whether or not essentially like this was

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Speaker 3: left out of the obituary, and I was like, of course, shockingly,

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Speaker 3: shockingly imagine Ed also had a nipple fetish.

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Speaker 1: Rip Coco the Gorilla. Nobody reads the end.

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Speaker 2: I like that.

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Speaker 1: Articles now are like it's a four minute read. That's

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Speaker 1: where we are. It's like, you got the time, you

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Speaker 1: got the time, it's four minutes. You don't have four minutes.

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Speaker 1: This is definitely not a four minute read.

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Speaker 3: This is pretty long, and so I'm not gonna read

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Speaker 3: the whole thing too, But this is what I found

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Speaker 3: really really interesting. Sure, so there was you know, originally

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Speaker 3: there was a chimp before Coco. There was a chimp

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Speaker 3: who like learned some sign language, and everybody went crazy,

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Speaker 3: especially linguists, and then Noam Chomsky. It says, linguists like

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Speaker 3: Noam Chomsky went bananas, which is great, Thank you so much.

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Speaker 2: No I'm still out there.

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Speaker 3: The concept of language is a philosophically sticky subject. This

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Speaker 3: is just a very interesting and then it gets very funny.

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Speaker 3: So get in for the interesting, and then we'll get

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Speaker 3: to the funny.

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Speaker 2: Asterisk.

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Speaker 3: The concept of language is a philosophically sticky subject. Even

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Speaker 3: defining is properly not such an easy task. Chomsky, imagine

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Speaker 3: a Skinner type experiment in which a pigeon would learn

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Speaker 3: to press four buttons in order say red, green, blue,

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Speaker 3: then yellow, time spens a pellet of food science signmon.

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Speaker 3: Nobody would be terribly surprised, he said, But suppose that

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Speaker 3: we label those buttons successively. Please give me food, he wrote, Now,

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Speaker 3: do you want to say that the pigeons have shown

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Speaker 3: to have the capacity for language in a rudimentary way.

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Speaker 1: And so this is this he poses, this question, shits

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Speaker 1: all over the primates who have been signing people.

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Speaker 3: And the immediate response to Chomky's gauntlet was a new experiment,

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Speaker 3: a more rigorous version of the Nevada experiment, starring a

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Speaker 3: chimpanzee named Naturally naturally enough Nim Chimpsky.

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Speaker 2: There we go.

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Speaker 3: The very next sentence is the project ended badly.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Nim injured a few of his teachers.

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Speaker 2: They are not nice animals.

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Speaker 3: But the leader of Project Nim Columbia is Herbert Terris.

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Speaker 1: I love.

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Speaker 3: I have a Herbert Terrace on my gorgeous in the

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Speaker 3: In the afternoon, I go out on my Herbert Terras.

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Speaker 3: I have a long island iced tea.

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Speaker 2: Oh enchanting, I pass out.

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Speaker 3: Felt he had enough data conclude that Chomsky was right.

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Speaker 3: The apes gestures showed no syntax, no semantic regularities, blah

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Speaker 3: blah blah. So then the question is what they're saying

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Speaker 3: is like maybe Coco didn't actually have language, but was

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Speaker 3: responding to prompts from people. That's like the argument that

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Speaker 3: they're having and U and then the nipple fetish thing

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Speaker 3: comes in. There explains the nipple fetish thing a little bit.

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Speaker 3: So here this is fucking crazy. The nipple fetish has

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Speaker 3: a long enough history that we can examine its context.

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Speaker 3: Take this nineteen ninety eight AOL chat with Coco Nice.

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Speaker 1: Why are they AOL chatting? Nineteen two?

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Speaker 2: Wow, my name was Grundle Kicker.

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Speaker 1: Really, Grundle's like a taint, oh or a good or

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Speaker 1: a gap or bridge, whatever you call it, and mine was.

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Speaker 1: I thought it was the height of comedy to be

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Speaker 1: Grundle Kicker on AOL chat rooms.

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Speaker 3: I was Kilgore Trout, and I thought it was how'd

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Speaker 3: you get that? Made me so cool? To have a

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Speaker 3: kurdvan a good reference? And everyone's like, shut up, nerd.

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Speaker 2: Nah, it is cool, it is cool. It is cool.

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Speaker 3: So they have the transcript from this fucking chat, which

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Speaker 3: is insane. So Coco was on a computer and Penny

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Speaker 3: was on a computer, and then people were like sending

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Speaker 3: in mess like just you wait, oh spoilers. So do

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Speaker 3: you want to be Coco? And I'll be Penny and

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Speaker 3: more than anything. Okay, here we go, damn hey, cutie,

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Speaker 3: let me explain what we are doing. Fine, We're gonna

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Speaker 3: be on the phone with a couple of people who

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Speaker 3: are gonna ask us questions.

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Speaker 2: Nipple.

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Speaker 3: And then it says, even as Penny and her AOL

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Speaker 3: audience tried to switch the conversation in other directions over

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Speaker 3: and over again, Coco turned the subject back to her

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Speaker 3: favorite subject. This is AOL, this is the audience. What

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Speaker 3: will she do now when we get off the phone.

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Speaker 3: What does she eat for dinner?

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Speaker 2: Candy? Hurry, candy.

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Speaker 3: She'll probably be very pleased to have her dinner. She's

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Speaker 3: asking me for candy right now. After dinner, candy, Hurry.

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Speaker 3: She has vegetables for dinner, raw vegetables. Nipple, Yes, like

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Speaker 3: a big salad.

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Speaker 5: And then Coco, nipple, nipple, nipple, nipple, nipple, nipple.

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Speaker 3: Coco's desperate please for nipple access even undermined Penny's fundraising attempt.

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Speaker 3: So then Penny is going into this whole long thing like,

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Speaker 3: we're looking, we have to raise this much money so

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Speaker 3: we continue this research and so and of course we're

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Speaker 3: asking here.

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Speaker 1: Too, hurry, give me mouth nipple. Unreal.

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Speaker 2: I'm pretty good. It's amazing the role I was born

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Speaker 2: to play.

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Speaker 5: Ah, Nipple, nipple, nipple, nipple, candy, hurry nipple, mouth nipple.

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Speaker 2: Weird way to say that.

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Speaker 1: Next time you guys are behind closed door, say mouth

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Speaker 1: nipplesuth mouth, nipple, hurry, candy, mouth nipple. Unbelievable.

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Speaker 3: Yes, so the yeah, So the whole thing is basically

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Speaker 3: they all the words that Coco used were very interchangeable

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Speaker 3: with other words. She'd be like, sometimes nice means rice,

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Speaker 3: and sometimes foot means hand and sometimes person means nipple.

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Speaker 1: Uh.

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Speaker 3: And so yeah, so that is the that the breakdown

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Speaker 3: is essentially like this, this person doesn't think that there

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Speaker 3: was actually language, but it also doesn't think that there

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Speaker 3: was maybe even a nipple fetish. It was just a

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Speaker 3: favorite sign, yes, and so it was like a very

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Speaker 3: just common sign that she would do.

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Speaker 2: Yes.

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Speaker 1: But also Penny did do it. She did get sued,

302
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Speaker 1: so it was definitely she was showing some nipples.

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Speaker 2: That thing.

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Speaker 1: That is a story. One time in Portland I went

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Speaker 1: to a gentleman's club for a bachelor party, and I

306
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:24,880
Speaker 1: think I talked about this on the pod way back

307
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Speaker 1: in twenty twenty. Yeah, they were all gentlemen in there.

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Speaker 1: That was the nice That was the nice spot, a

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Speaker 1: gentleman's club. In case you guys don't know.

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00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:33,720
Speaker 3: It's just a bunch of people in bowlers and they

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Speaker 3: sit there, good day leather chairs and they just discussed

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Speaker 3: gentlemen activity.

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Speaker 2: May I fluff your Scott? Yes? I?

314
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Speaker 1: And the MC was a I mean for the people

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Speaker 1: over thirty five. It was a dwarf who looked like

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Speaker 1: Glenn Danzig, so like leather jacket, like the black mullet,

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Speaker 1: the whole thing. And then a woman was dancing and

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Speaker 1: she had gotten her nipple reshaped into hearts. Both of

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00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:03,480
Speaker 1: her nipples were shaped like hearts.

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00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:06,639
Speaker 3: I didn't even know that was surgically surgically reshaped like

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00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:08,960
Speaker 3: the areola or the nipple itself.

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Speaker 2: The ariola.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow. And I was saying nipple, nipple, mouth nipple.

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Speaker 1: They kicked me out. No, but I had never seen that.

325
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Speaker 1: I was like, that's the most Portland thing where even

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Speaker 1: the dancers are like, watch how weird I can make this.

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Speaker 1: It's gonna get strange. I tipped her a Discover card.

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Speaker 2: I zeld her. Do you take Zel? Does anybody take sel?

329
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Speaker 2: What Zel?

330
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Speaker 1: Everybody takes Zell? Hell?

331
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Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot of people take ze cool.

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Speaker 3: I pay a lot of babysitters, so I know, Oh,

333
00:17:38,359 --> 00:17:42,560
Speaker 3: there's where's people take money? So I so when this

334
00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:44,560
Speaker 3: story came out, I tried to do stand up about

335
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:46,880
Speaker 3: it and I came oh man. Then Kristin and I

336
00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,239
Speaker 3: had just started doing hot tub and so we were

337
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:52,000
Speaker 3: doing sketches together. So we had a sketch that we did,

338
00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:55,840
Speaker 3: I don't know for like two years, which was we

339
00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:58,040
Speaker 3: would we would read the article, a print out of

340
00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:01,480
Speaker 3: the article about the lawsuit, and then uh, and then

341
00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:03,760
Speaker 3: we go and now we take you to the dramatic

342
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:06,240
Speaker 3: reenactment from from that day and so.

343
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:07,400
Speaker 1: That it's Kristen.

344
00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:12,800
Speaker 3: Kristin dressed as Penny Patterson and then me as.

345
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:17,399
Speaker 1: Cocoa, and oh, I remember well, and and I still

346
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:18,320
Speaker 1: worked with you guys.

347
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Speaker 2: I was like, these guys are good, they know what

348
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:21,960
Speaker 2: I like.

349
00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:25,200
Speaker 3: That it would be and it would started off very

350
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:28,600
Speaker 3: formal science. It was very formal, and I was signing

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00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:31,480
Speaker 3: to Kristen and Kristin was giving me the things that

352
00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:34,040
Speaker 3: I would sign for, and then I kept saying nipple, nipple, nipple,

353
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Speaker 3: and then she's.

354
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Speaker 1: Just like.

355
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:41,160
Speaker 3: Underneath she had a shed like a like a I guess,

356
00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:44,760
Speaker 3: like a little sweater on and then she had fake

357
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:47,120
Speaker 3: a fake bosom.

358
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Speaker 1: Is that how you would describe it. I think it

359
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,359
Speaker 1: was an ample bosom. Yeah, it was ample, a.

360
00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:55,200
Speaker 3: Big old bosoms and ro rubber bosoms on.

361
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Speaker 1: And I'm so sorry you paid for this.

362
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:05,600
Speaker 3: Sorry, I've got to say bosom a lot buddies and uh.

363
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:09,000
Speaker 3: And then she goes and.

364
00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:10,840
Speaker 2: Drinking.

365
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:12,600
Speaker 1: I'm trying to remember the exact sequence.

366
00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:14,800
Speaker 3: She drink coffee and she's like, okay, Coco, okay, and

367
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:17,200
Speaker 3: then she goes oh, and then it pours hard thing

368
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:19,960
Speaker 3: and then she like takes off. She's like what you like,

369
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,920
Speaker 3: and then it just escalates so fucking.

370
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:23,879
Speaker 2: Quickly, real fast.

371
00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:29,280
Speaker 3: Kristen is out with these giant breasts, and then at

372
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:33,760
Speaker 3: the end she's pouring chocolate sauce all over and Coco

373
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,000
Speaker 3: is having a Cocoa has a heart attack.

374
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:40,040
Speaker 1: Time she's so fucking excited.

375
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Speaker 2: It was great every time.

376
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:43,879
Speaker 3: It was great every time, and then we had to

377
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:47,679
Speaker 3: stop doing that because it was probably a bad taste.

378
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,399
Speaker 1: And also it's so funny if even people like that

379
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:52,560
Speaker 1: didn't understand what you were too, Like, it's just I

380
00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:54,879
Speaker 1: want somebody. It's like, hey, there's a comedy show tonight,

381
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:56,840
Speaker 1: let's check it out. And they go in and just

382
00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:59,040
Speaker 1: see future TV stars.

383
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:07,800
Speaker 3: Just like pouring chalk over these fake breasts and be like.

384
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:07,840
Speaker 1: Like just beating the floor until I have attack.

385
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:18,879
Speaker 2: Pretty damn good. That was actually very well died man alive. Well,

386
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:19,720
Speaker 2: I have one for you.

387
00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:23,200
Speaker 3: Oh wonderful. It's like we do a news podcast.

388
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:26,879
Speaker 1: Yeah we are. Janet Weber sent this in Janet, are

389
00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:30,400
Speaker 1: you here? No emailed it to us, said the Bananas

390
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:31,880
Speaker 1: podcast that Gmail. I'm very rare.

391
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:35,880
Speaker 2: We don't check that quite that often. Sorry, it's a lot.

392
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:39,400
Speaker 1: The dms are a lot. I'm not gonna lie, it's

393
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:39,680
Speaker 1: a lot.

394
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:42,359
Speaker 3: I'm I'm gonna make this statement. If you have a

395
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,520
Speaker 3: picture of a banana, or you see a banana live,

396
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:46,520
Speaker 3: put it in your stories and tag us, then we

397
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:48,560
Speaker 3: can send it out to the world and everything. But

398
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:50,920
Speaker 3: you don't need to just DM us a picture of

399
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:57,199
Speaker 3: a banana. I know the podcast is called Bananas. I

400
00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,280
Speaker 3: think we've seen all the pictures of bananas out.

401
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:03,240
Speaker 1: We know about the Savannah bananas, we know about that

402
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:06,240
Speaker 1: baseball team, we know about the Savannah bananas.

403
00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:06,840
Speaker 2: We know about the.

404
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:08,760
Speaker 1: Times of day. Someone's like, have you guys heard of this?

405
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,800
Speaker 2: Oh, it's it's so anybody looks at the stories.

406
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:19,080
Speaker 1: Holy, it's to the point where I'm like, we do know,

407
00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:20,840
Speaker 1: I send pictures of the jerseys.

408
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,199
Speaker 2: The beers also just keeps setting. It's so funny.

409
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:24,399
Speaker 1: I know.

410
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:26,320
Speaker 3: I always say, don't send it Scotty's I keep sending it.

411
00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:29,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, we like the I mean some people

412
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:34,000
Speaker 1: send me every meal. They eat every day. I'm not kidding,

413
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:41,720
Speaker 1: and I respond rubber bosom, I do not weird. I

414
00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:44,639
Speaker 1: think that's the name of the episode. Yeah, Katie, Uh,

415
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,199
Speaker 1: here we go. This was written by Katie Francis of

416
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:50,840
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tip this story a little bit. And I

417
00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:54,280
Speaker 1: did not know this was a website Walt Disney World

418
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,560
Speaker 1: News Today.

419
00:21:56,680 --> 00:22:00,399
Speaker 3: I mean, technically it's a website there dot com w.

420
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:03,960
Speaker 1: D so who wrote this? This was written by Katie Francis,

421
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:09,320
Speaker 1: who is the That was excellent.

422
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:10,240
Speaker 2: See that's why I.

423
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:14,880
Speaker 1: Don't do it alone. I need this guy. Uh this one.

424
00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:19,200
Speaker 1: This is great. Drunk guests take clothes off and brawl

425
00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:24,080
Speaker 1: at Disney Springs, slip on, vomit and fall into bushes. Yes,

426
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:28,000
Speaker 1: now you guys, say guys, guys, none by peals. No,

427
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,479
Speaker 1: we don't cover AsSalt some bananas. We don't know violence

428
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:34,119
Speaker 1: is funny. No, stick with me for this one, in

429
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:38,120
Speaker 1: this in this case, just stick with me for this one.

430
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:40,760
Speaker 1: I promise we won't do it after this, and you'll

431
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:44,720
Speaker 1: see why. Walt Disney World police arrested two drunk guests

432
00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:45,719
Speaker 1: on multiple charges.

433
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:53,400
Speaker 3: I'm already I have a question, Walt Disney World Police. Yeah,

434
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:55,680
Speaker 3: if they don't wear fucking ears, I don't want to

435
00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:56,080
Speaker 3: see him.

436
00:22:56,359 --> 00:23:07,520
Speaker 1: Oh dude, on ears and guns. It's Florida full costumes.

437
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:11,200
Speaker 1: They should be Jack Sparrow and Goofy come to get you.

438
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:14,280
Speaker 1: They're just wearing They're just.

439
00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:18,040
Speaker 3: Wearing the cops figure around their chests like cover cops.

440
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:22,879
Speaker 1: Do oh man, there's just Chippindale rescue rangers just chasing

441
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:25,639
Speaker 1: you through the park. You're like, no, get out of

442
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:30,960
Speaker 1: the fucking way. Also, Chippindale were dressed you must know

443
00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:34,879
Speaker 1: this as a Magnum Pi and Indiana Jones. What do

444
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:38,320
Speaker 1: you mean they're ensemble A Chip had like the hat

445
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:41,400
Speaker 1: and the leather jacket like Indiana Jones and Dale had

446
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:44,359
Speaker 1: the Hawaiian shirt like Magnum Pi. That's what they were.

447
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:45,240
Speaker 1: That's whoa.

448
00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:46,119
Speaker 2: I had no idea.

449
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:48,600
Speaker 3: I didn't know that Chippendale were that late in the game.

450
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:52,000
Speaker 2: I just made that up. No, that is true.

451
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:56,600
Speaker 1: What wouldn't it be so funny? What a psychotic turn?

452
00:23:56,880 --> 00:24:00,240
Speaker 1: They're like, why did he cram Chippendale Rescue Rangers? And there?

453
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:03,440
Speaker 2: Who is this man? Why does he do jello shots?

454
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:06,040
Speaker 1: Also, I like the idea that so whoever's like, okay, listen, listen.

455
00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:08,879
Speaker 3: There's two chipmunkster best friends and they're kind of like

456
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:12,640
Speaker 3: if Indiana Jones and Magnum p I were hanging out.

457
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:17,440
Speaker 3: But also they're nothing like that. They don't do anything

458
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:18,520
Speaker 3: those characters do.

459
00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:24,359
Speaker 1: No, they don't, they don't. Walt Disney World police do

460
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:30,959
Speaker 1: not picture Chippendale as I'm reading this, Yeah, arrested two

461
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:34,520
Speaker 1: drunk guests on multiple charges, and the arrest report reads

462
00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:37,320
Speaker 1: like the plot of a Jersey Shore episode.

463
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:40,560
Speaker 2: Kadie Francis you best in the Beeswax?

464
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:47,840
Speaker 1: You two sisters, oh from New Jersey got to a drunken,

465
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:51,280
Speaker 1: naked argument. How did it? Because this is in Florida,

466
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:53,520
Speaker 1: This isn't Disneyland. This is because you can't. That's not

467
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:57,359
Speaker 1: a typical thing to be naked at Disney World. Not

468
00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,920
Speaker 1: allowed to do it. No matter how hard you try,

469
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:02,440
Speaker 1: you are not allowed to do that. Only it didn't

470
00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:04,959
Speaker 1: happen in the Garden State. It took place at Disney

471
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:09,840
Speaker 1: Springs for those who want disney Springs there, like you uh,

472
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:13,959
Speaker 1: Disney Springs is like a mall outside of Disneyland that's

473
00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:16,360
Speaker 1: free to get into, and it's restaurants and piano bars

474
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:19,159
Speaker 1: and all that stuff. It's basically like killing time in Florida.

475
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:21,840
Speaker 1: Yea all you can do in Florida. Oh you can

476
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:22,720
Speaker 1: be super naked.

477
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:25,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's it is funny. It's like when you

478
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:27,920
Speaker 3: come out of disney Land. I've been going to Disneyland

479
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:29,600
Speaker 3: and a lot with the kids, but when you come

480
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:32,000
Speaker 3: out of Disneyland and then you're in that like, oh yeah,

481
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:34,479
Speaker 3: it's just like Disneyland's.

482
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:36,800
Speaker 1: Like it's a magical world where we make things for.

483
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:39,239
Speaker 3: Kids, and then you walk out, it's like capitalism up

484
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:41,720
Speaker 3: eat at Joe's.

485
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:44,879
Speaker 1: It's just this long walk of just like you eat this,

486
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:46,160
Speaker 1: you buy this now.

487
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:47,440
Speaker 2: And I texted Kurt.

488
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:50,520
Speaker 1: I went recently to Disneyland California Adventure for the first

489
00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 1: time ever, and it was like a family trip.

490
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:54,439
Speaker 2: It took my nephews and.

491
00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:56,800
Speaker 1: I was like, Kurt, I didn't realize that there are

492
00:25:56,880 --> 00:26:00,720
Speaker 1: just kids crying in every direction. To Disneyland. I thought dizzy,

493
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:02,639
Speaker 1: and I was like, everybody's happy all the time. I

494
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:06,800
Speaker 1: was seeing meltdowns from two year olds to sixteen year olds. Yeah,

495
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:10,760
Speaker 1: they're just full of sugar and they're pissed about everything. Everything.

496
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:14,080
Speaker 1: It's just candy at every corner.

497
00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:18,600
Speaker 3: And then just so much over stimulation and like they're

498
00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:19,840
Speaker 3: so happy, they're crying.

499
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:22,720
Speaker 1: They're having panic attacks at four and five years old.

500
00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:28,280
Speaker 1: Ye yeah, yeah. Anyway, Anyhow, these two women were twenty

501
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:30,879
Speaker 1: nine and thirty one. They were vacationing with their family

502
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:34,320
Speaker 1: in order. Again, these are sisters. Is older than I anticipated.

503
00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:38,479
Speaker 2: It shouldn't be there. That night, the sisters ate at

504
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:39,159
Speaker 2: a steakhouse.

505
00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:42,720
Speaker 1: Great detailed, didn't need it, Uh, doesn't affect this story

506
00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:45,320
Speaker 1: at all. Just wanted you all to know that they

507
00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:52,080
Speaker 1: are carnivores, so the vegans here fucking hate them. That night,

508
00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:54,040
Speaker 1: the sisters ate at a steakhouse, and they seemed to

509
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:56,840
Speaker 1: be having enjoyable evening at first, even though they were

510
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:58,480
Speaker 1: thirty minutes late to their reservation.

511
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:00,720
Speaker 2: Katie, how do you know this?

512
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:04,360
Speaker 1: She did some snoopy.

513
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:06,320
Speaker 2: She digs deep, she digs deep.

514
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:08,359
Speaker 1: She is She's like, let me paint you a picture.

515
00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:13,119
Speaker 3: These bitches were thirty minutes late to their Disney Spring

516
00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:15,000
Speaker 3: steakhouse reservation, so.

517
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:18,880
Speaker 1: You can already imagine what they're like. Real pieces of shit.

518
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:25,240
Speaker 1: Then they got drinks at an Irish restaurant nearby, all right.

519
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:30,760
Speaker 1: Then the problems began small at first when they tried

520
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:33,920
Speaker 1: to go back to their hotel off of Disney's property,

521
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:36,439
Speaker 1: but their phones had died. Yes, tells you a lot

522
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:40,440
Speaker 1: about these twenty nine and thirty one. Disney security helped

523
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:43,320
Speaker 1: them call Uber. The Uber arrived but refused to take

524
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:45,480
Speaker 1: them as he was worried they were too drunk. Yep,

525
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:49,439
Speaker 1: he was right. Oh, it turns out he was so right.

526
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:52,560
Speaker 1: This Uber driver should get promoted. Just have a limousine

527
00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:54,720
Speaker 1: that he just drives around with nobody in it. Yeah,

528
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:59,480
Speaker 1: also a dream u oh man. The women argued about

529
00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:02,040
Speaker 1: this while waiting a taxi waiting for a taxi, and

530
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:04,600
Speaker 1: then their night unraveled.

531
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:09,680
Speaker 2: At Disney whatever this is called Disney Springs.

532
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:15,360
Speaker 1: The older sister called the younger sister a bad mother

533
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:17,960
Speaker 1: and pushed her at twelve forty am oh.

534
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:23,920
Speaker 2: You do you're from New Jersey?

535
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:24,199
Speaker 4: Uh?

536
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:27,480
Speaker 2: Huh? Can you imagine calling a woman New Jersey a

537
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:28,000
Speaker 2: bad mom.

538
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:34,719
Speaker 3: No, I mean yeah, no, oh my god, that is insane.

539
00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:36,480
Speaker 1: At two forty am. I mean after being late to

540
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:40,120
Speaker 1: a steakhouse dinner. Was it like you're a bad mother,

541
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:40,960
Speaker 1: and it was like that's it.

542
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:43,479
Speaker 3: She just starts taking her shirt off, unhooking her bra,

543
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:46,400
Speaker 3: taking her pants off, like let's just fight.

544
00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:50,120
Speaker 2: Yes, that was what it was like. It was exactly

545
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:50,600
Speaker 2: like that.

546
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:57,760
Speaker 1: Why are they naked? H The Orlando County Sheriff's Office

547
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 1: got a dispatch call about a rum and fight happening

548
00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:04,200
Speaker 1: near Disney Springs. Deputies arrived to find the younger sister

549
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 1: screaming at her sister near Circa Sole. Okay, great place

550
00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:11,040
Speaker 1: to get in a fight. I've always thought the best

551
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:14,200
Speaker 1: place to ask for a divorce was a rainforest cafe. Yeah,

552
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:17,320
Speaker 1: we'll talk about that later, but that seems so funny

553
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 1: to be like it's not working, we should get a divorce,

554
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:20,280
Speaker 1: and then just like.

555
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:28,360
Speaker 3: Like, oh, got go, I just found out of these

556
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:30,360
Speaker 3: let's found out how hard it is to make thunder

557
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:31,080
Speaker 3: with your mouth.

558
00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:41,000
Speaker 2: Burr pretty good? It doesn't work, pretty good, I think again.

559
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:44,160
Speaker 1: The younger sister is screaming at the older sister new

560
00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:50,200
Speaker 1: Circa Sola. She was only wearing underwear and sandals, and

561
00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:50,760
Speaker 1: away we.

562
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:54,200
Speaker 3: Go, just underwear, no top, only sandals.

563
00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:57,400
Speaker 2: Love this what a jersey travels?

564
00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:00,400
Speaker 3: I understand how a shirt comes off in a fight,

565
00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:02,840
Speaker 3: all right, So rab and pulling somebody tries to get

566
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 3: away comes off.

567
00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:10,880
Speaker 1: I get that pants, pants, a skirt, but yeah, a

568
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:20,280
Speaker 1: romper brah tear away was a tear away out, I

569
00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:23,120
Speaker 1: don't know, all right. So so one person's naked, the

570
00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:23,600
Speaker 1: other one's not.

571
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:25,760
Speaker 2: Screaming at the other one outside of a circa sola.

572
00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:29,960
Speaker 1: Okay. Deputies assisted putting on Jean Jack a blue jean

573
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:32,000
Speaker 1: jacket on her since she was not wearing any clothing.

574
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:37,240
Speaker 1: The sheriff's report said Disney's security manager witnessed everything and

575
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:42,440
Speaker 1: thank god this person yeah he she they I don't know.

576
00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:46,080
Speaker 1: Both females were said. Both females were screaming at each other.

577
00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:48,840
Speaker 1: One female was sitting on a bench while the second

578
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:52,160
Speaker 1: female was standing over her. After attempting to calm the situation,

579
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:54,960
Speaker 1: the security manager said one sister pushed the other one again.

580
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:57,840
Speaker 1: At that point, both females began wrestling and pulling each

581
00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:03,720
Speaker 1: other's hair. Okay, right, okay, got it. The security manager

582
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:07,200
Speaker 1: quickly pulled the two drunk sisters apart. That's a good

583
00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:09,560
Speaker 1: he's doing, or she's doing, or they're doing their job

584
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 1: very well. Wonderful one separated. Both sisters ran at each other,

585
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:16,360
Speaker 1: slipped in the younger sister's vomit, and fell into the

586
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:22,560
Speaker 1: bushes while arguing, was there security footage? No?

587
00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:25,960
Speaker 2: And I looked. I looked at so many websites. I

588
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:27,600
Speaker 2: was deep diving on Reddit.

589
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:31,120
Speaker 1: I was. I was. You found disturbing things. I know

590
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:38,000
Speaker 1: who that's that's a Google history that you have. Now, yeah,

591
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:43,200
Speaker 1: I know I am being naked. Vomit, Yeah, vomit bush

592
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:46,200
Speaker 1: wrestling and they're like, who is this man?

593
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:52,400
Speaker 2: Oh god? Yeah?

594
00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:55,040
Speaker 1: Ran a few feet away? Okay, so one separated. The

595
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:57,560
Speaker 1: sisters ran to each other, slipped in the younger sister's vomit,

596
00:31:57,640 --> 00:31:59,880
Speaker 1: and fell into the bushes. While still arguing the security

597
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:02,240
Speaker 1: and stated the younger sister then ran a few feet

598
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 1: away took off her dress, exposing her breasts. Wait, so

599
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:08,720
Speaker 1: ran away, I mean took off her dress.

600
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:10,120
Speaker 2: This is at Disney, Like, okay.

601
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:11,600
Speaker 3: So she didn't have pants on. That answers one of

602
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:15,640
Speaker 3: my questions. Okay, it takes off her dress. Why it's

603
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:18,760
Speaker 3: covered vonmet or She's like they can't catch me, Like

604
00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:19,800
Speaker 3: I'll be slippery now.

605
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:25,400
Speaker 1: Well, her sister was in a jean jacket and underwear

606
00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:27,920
Speaker 1: and sandals at this point, which the cop has already

607
00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:32,720
Speaker 1: given her sister. Yeah, you're gonna give out now, I'm naked, asshole.

608
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:35,400
Speaker 2: That's exactly.

609
00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:36,560
Speaker 1: That's sisters.

610
00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:39,040
Speaker 3: That's sisters, Jersey sisters unity.

611
00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:41,960
Speaker 2: We were able to separate the two again.

612
00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:46,440
Speaker 1: Uh man that when the deputies questioned the younger sister,

613
00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:48,600
Speaker 1: the report said she only wanted to talk to her

614
00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:53,680
Speaker 1: sister about how she didn't like her sister's boyfriend. I

615
00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:58,440
Speaker 1: love that. It was that small escalated into a fucking

616
00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:03,160
Speaker 1: hurricane of New Jersey in Orlando. Oh this is beautiful.

617
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:08,800
Speaker 1: Share Support noted they were very intoxicated. Yes they were,

618
00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:12,960
Speaker 1: Yes they were, and so were we. The state attorney's

619
00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:16,440
Speaker 1: office declined to pursue criminal charges, and both sisters requested

620
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:19,600
Speaker 1: not to have the other one prosecuted. According to Orange

621
00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:24,240
Speaker 1: the Orange Circuit Court, since they aren't facing criminal charges,

622
00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:28,160
Speaker 1: the guests will remain unnamed. Here we go, Okay, neither

623
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:36,720
Speaker 1: sister sustained an injury, so oh man, oh that was

624
00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:38,240
Speaker 1: beautiful isn't that crazy?

625
00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:40,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, I did it for you because of Jersey.

626
00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:44,120
Speaker 1: Thank you. So one. I moved to Los Angeles in

627
00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:47,200
Speaker 1: twenty twelve. Yes, and one of the very first parties

628
00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:50,239
Speaker 1: I went to I got invited through a friend. They're like, come,

629
00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:52,719
Speaker 1: this party be really fun. I need a white guy

630
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:55,240
Speaker 1: with long hair, a name Lloyd, Lloyd.

631
00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:59,880
Speaker 2: Incredible name, and that was not this guy's name.

632
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:05,080
Speaker 1: So and Katielevine, please bleep this name out when I

633
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:07,120
Speaker 1: get to it. So I show up to this party

634
00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:09,560
Speaker 1: like nine or ten o'clock and it's like people are

635
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:13,480
Speaker 1: going hard, like everybody's eyes are real big, and everybody's

636
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:16,759
Speaker 1: being real nice and real drunk. And my friend who

637
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:22,400
Speaker 1: took me and goes, Katie beep this out, has a chemist.

638
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:23,359
Speaker 1: I see for them.

639
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:24,480
Speaker 2: This is true.

640
00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:29,040
Speaker 3: Chemist is a legend in Hollywood. Yeah, and his chemist

641
00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:33,000
Speaker 3: brought molly to this party. So it's like pure, pure MDMA.

642
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:37,360
Speaker 1: So everybody there is on molly made by a chemist

643
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:47,000
Speaker 1: that keeps his face not his basement, but not its lab.

644
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:47,680
Speaker 1: It's upstairs.

645
00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:50,719
Speaker 2: God.

646
00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:54,480
Speaker 1: So they're like, do you want anything? I say no,

647
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:57,480
Speaker 1: And so I'm just drinking and hanging out. And then

648
00:34:58,080 --> 00:35:02,319
Speaker 1: my friend goes, oh, shit, Lloyd, Lloyd, Lloyd just fell

649
00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:05,399
Speaker 1: down the stairs and he's bleeding. I don't know Lloyd.

650
00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:08,319
Speaker 1: I don't know anybody but this one person. Okay, I'm

651
00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:11,800
Speaker 1: the only person not completely wasted it on drugs. And

652
00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:14,560
Speaker 1: I see this guy and he is bleeding so bad,

653
00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:18,680
Speaker 1: I mean all like bleeding, gash his head. Nobody can

654
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:22,040
Speaker 1: do anything. This is pre uber and lyft, This is

655
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:24,759
Speaker 1: pre Lloyd having insurance. We would later find out.

656
00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:29,680
Speaker 2: Oh no, so I go, I'll drive you to the hospital.

657
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:34,760
Speaker 1: Yeah. So his car was outside of the parked cars

658
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:37,320
Speaker 1: the most. It's a dented Prius, which doesn't matter, except

659
00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:42,000
Speaker 1: it's so funny to me that I drove this huge

660
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:44,000
Speaker 1: dent in the driver's side door Prius. And so he

661
00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:45,759
Speaker 1: gets in. I'm like, hey, I'm Scottie. I'll get you

662
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:47,359
Speaker 1: to the hospital. But I'm new to La. I don't

663
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:49,840
Speaker 1: know where the hospitals are. So I drive to the

664
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:53,880
Speaker 1: first hospital. It's a children's hospital. It's the one on

665
00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:55,360
Speaker 1: Sunsetogy And.

666
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:57,640
Speaker 3: He's not paying attention because he's just rolling and oh

667
00:35:57,719 --> 00:35:58,759
Speaker 3: he's on Oh.

668
00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:01,560
Speaker 1: And when you guys probably know this, When you're drunk, drunk,

669
00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:05,279
Speaker 1: you bleed like crazy. Your blood is just going like, yeah,

670
00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:09,000
Speaker 1: we love this, let's party. I'm with you. So we

671
00:36:09,239 --> 00:36:12,400
Speaker 1: walk into the Children's hospital emergency room and they're like, no,

672
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:19,359
Speaker 1: you men, go away. I go, where's the emergency room.

673
00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:21,759
Speaker 1: She's like it's two blocks further down on Sunset, like

674
00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:23,640
Speaker 1: take a left on Vermont. So I go. So then

675
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:26,160
Speaker 1: we go the real emergency room. It's probably about two am,

676
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:27,920
Speaker 1: and we sit there.

677
00:36:28,040 --> 00:36:30,799
Speaker 3: God also, I just imagine like there's a sick child

678
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:33,000
Speaker 3: waiting to be seen and he looks up and then

679
00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:37,120
Speaker 3: it's just the two of you, like drunk sailors walking

680
00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:37,440
Speaker 3: and I.

681
00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:39,480
Speaker 1: Dress like Magnum p I in my normal life. So

682
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:43,040
Speaker 1: it's like that guy and bleedy and they're just like

683
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:45,719
Speaker 1: I don't know him. He's on don't say the name.

684
00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:51,000
Speaker 1: We're gonna get suit. So so we go to the

685
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:53,600
Speaker 1: hospital and the nurse that checks us in is like

686
00:36:53,719 --> 00:36:56,040
Speaker 1: taking his vitals and his eyes are like mass seven stuff,

687
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:58,240
Speaker 1: and she's like, okay, take a seat, guys.

688
00:36:58,480 --> 00:36:59,920
Speaker 2: It's la it's Saturday night.

689
00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:02,880
Speaker 1: Car crashes are coming, heart attacks are coming, you know,

690
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:04,719
Speaker 1: everything's coming in So we're sitting there. I don't know

691
00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:06,920
Speaker 1: this man, and I'm like, yeah, you're gonna fine, dude,

692
00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:08,439
Speaker 1: you're gonna be fine. You need some stitches, You're gonna

693
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:13,480
Speaker 1: be fine. And he's like, I'm getting cold. So I

694
00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:17,719
Speaker 1: go the nurse. I'm like, he's getting cold. Lloyd is

695
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:20,840
Speaker 1: getting cold. The man on drugs, bleeding out of his

696
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:23,759
Speaker 1: face is getting cold. What do we do? She's like,

697
00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:27,040
Speaker 1: if you wait till six am and you don't get in,

698
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:32,280
Speaker 1: go to urgent care this hospital. So six am rolls around,

699
00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:37,200
Speaker 1: Son's up. I drive him to Hollywood Urgent Care. The

700
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:40,600
Speaker 1: most attractive doctors you've ever seen in your life. In

701
00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:43,120
Speaker 1: a way that I thought I walked onto a set.

702
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:47,439
Speaker 1: There's like a doctor mc steamy walking this way. There's

703
00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:50,239
Speaker 1: a beautiful blonde doctor that's like, hey guys, we'll be

704
00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:50,759
Speaker 1: right with you.

705
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:55,759
Speaker 2: Stitch him up. So I drive this guy to his

706
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:57,359
Speaker 2: house because I'm in his car.

707
00:37:57,680 --> 00:37:57,879
Speaker 1: Oh.

708
00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:00,640
Speaker 2: Then I walk back to where the park sun's up.

709
00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:02,120
Speaker 2: So now I'm just walking again.

710
00:38:02,239 --> 00:38:05,480
Speaker 1: No bird, no Lyft, no bird scooters, no limescooters, just

711
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:09,640
Speaker 1: dufat sober man being like, Okay, I'll never see that

712
00:38:09,719 --> 00:38:13,560
Speaker 1: asshole again. Walk to the party, get my car, drive home,

713
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:15,080
Speaker 1: and I'm like, okay, I live in La Now this

714
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:17,200
Speaker 1: is a very experience, I'll tell us on a podcast

715
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:21,880
Speaker 1: one day. Uh huh. And so I'm like, well, Scotty,

716
00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:24,800
Speaker 1: you're not going to go to sleep. It's eight am,

717
00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:27,239
Speaker 1: the sun is up. I make coffee. I'm like, you

718
00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:29,040
Speaker 1: know what, I can handle this.

719
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:29,840
Speaker 2: I'm an adult.

720
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:32,919
Speaker 1: Good for you. You did fucking great. I'm like, okay,

721
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:36,320
Speaker 1: I'm drinking coffee. I turn on the TV and a

722
00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:40,440
Speaker 1: commercial comes on for Sharman toilet paper where a mama

723
00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:43,480
Speaker 1: bear animated is helping a baby bear out of a tree,

724
00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:45,279
Speaker 1: and I burst into tears.

725
00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:51,480
Speaker 2: About I think I was emotional helping people.

726
00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:57,799
Speaker 3: Just r That's so funny because that commercial is then

727
00:38:57,840 --> 00:38:59,839
Speaker 3: about how they have shit on their ask Yeah.

728
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:03,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh I know that part got me too, Mike.

729
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:06,200
Speaker 1: We all do. We all do if you really think

730
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:11,240
Speaker 1: about it. I never saw that guy again, Lloyd Lloyd,

731
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:13,560
Speaker 1: but I did see a photo of him, and that

732
00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:17,000
Speaker 1: day he took scissors and cut his own hair into bangs,

733
00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:19,440
Speaker 1: which you know sometimes women cut their hair into bangs

734
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:22,600
Speaker 1: or whatever. But like he was like okay and just

735
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:26,080
Speaker 1: cuts a page boy haircut. And that's the last I've

736
00:39:26,120 --> 00:39:28,959
Speaker 1: ever seen of that man. But he made me cry

737
00:39:29,080 --> 00:39:32,680
Speaker 1: at a toilet paper commercial. Here's the lie boy.

738
00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:38,400
Speaker 3: All right, Scott I'm gonna tease us into a sweet

739
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:38,879
Speaker 3: little break.

740
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:43,880
Speaker 1: Are you ready for that? Yeah, buddy boy, I'm fun Lane.

741
00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:46,239
Speaker 1: Could I have one more Vodky Sodi up to the

742
00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:48,560
Speaker 1: table please? All right?

743
00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:54,880
Speaker 3: A twelve year old kid built a working nuclear fusion reactor.

744
00:39:57,960 --> 00:39:59,560
Speaker 2: We're gonna blow it up on this new episode.

745
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:35,560
Speaker 4: Usa ba.

746
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:31,840
Speaker 1: All right, welcome back to Banana's Life from Portland, Oregon.

747
00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:40,560
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, all right, I think I know what it's

748
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:43,240
Speaker 3: time for, Scottie. A couple things, YEA, A couple things

749
00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:49,000
Speaker 3: confessions to someone. If something on that side of the

750
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:51,799
Speaker 3: room can get these champagne and bring it to us,

751
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:54,520
Speaker 3: We're going to read your confession.

752
00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:56,560
Speaker 1: We do Longest Banana while we're waiting for who.

753
00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:59,600
Speaker 2: Came from the furthest away for tonight?

754
00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:03,520
Speaker 1: Maui? Oh that's real good.

755
00:41:03,680 --> 00:41:04,560
Speaker 2: Where is it, Maui?

756
00:41:05,080 --> 00:41:05,400
Speaker 1: Maui?

757
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:07,400
Speaker 2: Maui's real good.

758
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:11,040
Speaker 1: For the show. That's a request, that's a required Maui

759
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:11,840
Speaker 1: for the show.

760
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:14,240
Speaker 2: And you can beat Maui.

761
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:17,200
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you very much.

762
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:27,080
Speaker 1: Give it up for Alexey Oh hell yeah? Can anybody

763
00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:29,320
Speaker 1: beat Maui? Anybody for their way maybe Kauhai.

764
00:41:32,360 --> 00:41:36,320
Speaker 2: That's pretty good. Thank you, thank you.

765
00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:40,239
Speaker 1: Okay, I think Maui might take it. Mali, please come

766
00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:45,120
Speaker 1: and say please put this on your car. This is

767
00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:48,759
Speaker 1: we made ten of these forever. Oh and look at

768
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:57,239
Speaker 1: you yea where Oahu? No way?

769
00:41:57,760 --> 00:41:57,960
Speaker 4: Yeah?

770
00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:00,800
Speaker 2: Also, thank you.

771
00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:02,320
Speaker 1: We love Hawhi.

772
00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:03,759
Speaker 2: We should do a show in Honolulu.

773
00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:05,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm down, I'm ready to go.

774
00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:08,600
Speaker 2: That's in Hawaii. I've read yeah, I've read about that.

775
00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:14,160
Speaker 1: Okay, oh, let me do shout outs real yeah. Yes.

776
00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:17,920
Speaker 1: So first of all, Heather Lockert is a bannimal. She

777
00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:24,800
Speaker 1: made me this I posted in our banana stories. Do

778
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:31,000
Speaker 1: we have any seamstress bananimals you Portland? I had twenty

779
00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:33,640
Speaker 1: people in like three minutes, be like me, yes, what

780
00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:38,239
Speaker 1: do you want? Unsurprisingly, the ban animals are tailors and

781
00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:41,960
Speaker 1: seamstresses and anyways, Heather Locker, thank you so much. I'm

782
00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:44,319
Speaker 1: gonna keep going. This is gonna get Ryan Stone's gonna

783
00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:47,040
Speaker 1: see banas Stu like. This is like phase one. Yeah,

784
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:49,480
Speaker 1: and then Kurt's gonna get a matching one. So for

785
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:52,399
Speaker 1: future shows matching one, we're gonna look real weird.

786
00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:55,360
Speaker 3: It's gonna be great. But thank you, elnel of dumb comedy.

787
00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:58,839
Speaker 1: Shocking that the people that came from my favorite Murder

788
00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:03,680
Speaker 1: to Bananas are teamstresses. This is a shock the murder

789
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:12,440
Speaker 1: Bananas all right, Amelia West, are you here? It is

790
00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:19,399
Speaker 1: her birthday, this is this is her second banana show

791
00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:24,040
Speaker 1: on her birthday, which is great. Also, we like this

792
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:25,360
Speaker 1: is awesome. We love Helium.

793
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:26,799
Speaker 2: But she's also here with.

794
00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:30,200
Speaker 1: Her friend Marissa, who just passed the bar in Washington State.

795
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:39,680
Speaker 1: So happy birthday, Amelia. Congratulations to friend Marissa. Sue the

796
00:43:39,800 --> 00:43:44,719
Speaker 1: fuck out of them. Yeah, everybody, everything bar moves, sue the.

797
00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:45,440
Speaker 2: Bar, not us.

798
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:49,799
Speaker 1: Jamie wants to shout out Katie for turning her into

799
00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:54,520
Speaker 1: a huge banana. I think it's her cousin, right, So

800
00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:58,960
Speaker 1: Jamie said to Katie, I need a podcast because I'm

801
00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:05,360
Speaker 1: going to finish the Thick Crest trail. And Katie said, bananas.

802
00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:09,800
Speaker 1: And then we got it the whole.

803
00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:12,000
Speaker 2: She listened to us three hours a day for the

804
00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:14,640
Speaker 2: rest of the hike. Right you wait, you did.

805
00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:15,160
Speaker 4: You did the.

806
00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:18,759
Speaker 1: PCT the whole thing. Oh my god.

807
00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:25,680
Speaker 3: Congratulations. That is a dream of mine. That's amazing that

808
00:44:25,760 --> 00:44:26,040
Speaker 3: you did it.

809
00:44:26,120 --> 00:44:32,080
Speaker 1: Congrat congratulations. That's two thousand and something. Miles right, one

810
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:33,120
Speaker 1: step at a time.

811
00:44:33,400 --> 00:44:35,480
Speaker 3: Two thousand, six hundred and fifty. I love that you

812
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:36,759
Speaker 3: just said one step.

813
00:44:36,960 --> 00:44:40,759
Speaker 2: One step at a time. Y'all think about it.

814
00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:43,279
Speaker 1: One in front of the other guy. Nobody's talking about it.

815
00:44:43,440 --> 00:44:44,359
Speaker 1: That's how we get there.

816
00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:45,960
Speaker 2: Jamie said.

817
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:48,080
Speaker 1: She also would start laughing at us so hard she

818
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:51,080
Speaker 1: would on the trail have to bend over laughing, because

819
00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:52,760
Speaker 1: that's sorry.

820
00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:57,040
Speaker 2: We slowed you down, so sorry.

821
00:44:58,080 --> 00:45:02,040
Speaker 1: And finally, and honestly, most importantly, Kelsey Pops wants to

822
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:06,720
Speaker 1: shout out her mom, Judy Reed. Are you here? Judy

823
00:45:06,960 --> 00:45:13,040
Speaker 1: just turned eighty years old. Yeah, she is our golden banana.

824
00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:21,560
Speaker 1: You there, She's an inspiration to everyone who meets her. Judy.

825
00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:24,319
Speaker 2: Hypothetically, what sized T shirt would you wear?

826
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:29,960
Speaker 1: Small? A medium? Here we go the fact that you're

827
00:45:30,120 --> 00:45:34,239
Speaker 1: gonna wear a Let's make sure it's a medium. I'm

828
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:34,680
Speaker 1: just small.

829
00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:35,440
Speaker 2: We got a meetium.

830
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:39,560
Speaker 1: We definitely have a medium somewhere for Judy. There you go,

831
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:42,040
Speaker 1: that says medium. Mist and the biz have an eighty

832
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:54,480
Speaker 1: year old bananamal. All right, let's give her four. Judy's ready, Judy, Judy, Judy, Judy,

833
00:45:56,840 --> 00:46:02,280
Speaker 1: thanks everybody, very sweet of you, Thanks for coming Judy,

834
00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:03,640
Speaker 1: here's the eighty more. We love you.

835
00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:10,600
Speaker 2: All right, let's do some confession. I do have one

836
00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:11,359
Speaker 2: online one.

837
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:14,320
Speaker 1: Oh you got an online somebody emailed at me to

838
00:46:14,440 --> 00:46:16,120
Speaker 1: read this at the Portland Show.

839
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:19,080
Speaker 2: Oh and somebody just said something. You're just saying, hey,

840
00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:22,320
Speaker 2: oh this gotcha?

841
00:46:22,760 --> 00:46:26,120
Speaker 1: Thank you? Now you know it's okay, you're new. Things happen. Hey,

842
00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:29,920
Speaker 1: everybody's awesome. Portland Confession. My fiance and I have been

843
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:32,200
Speaker 1: together for six years and I do not have the

844
00:46:32,239 --> 00:46:35,400
Speaker 1: heart to tell him that I have the most Sorry, Judy,

845
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:38,319
Speaker 1: mind blowing orgasms when I flick the bean versus having

846
00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:43,880
Speaker 1: sex with him. We still orgasm together, but not the

847
00:46:44,040 --> 00:46:46,160
Speaker 1: kind of ones that make you lose your hearing, know

848
00:46:46,200 --> 00:46:52,080
Speaker 1: what I mean? No, No, I feel so bad, but

849
00:46:52,160 --> 00:46:54,880
Speaker 1: it won't do any good since he can't change anything.

850
00:46:55,239 --> 00:46:58,759
Speaker 2: Please absolve me. You're absolved.

851
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:05,000
Speaker 1: Oh that's fine. Who cares if you're having fun? Who cares? Yours?

852
00:47:05,080 --> 00:47:05,200
Speaker 5: One?

853
00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:06,719
Speaker 1: One time, when I was younger, I peed in the

854
00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:08,799
Speaker 1: cat's litter box just to see how it would feel.

855
00:47:09,880 --> 00:47:10,360
Speaker 2: I love that.

856
00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:13,399
Speaker 3: That's a great I bet you you're a science right now.

857
00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:19,399
Speaker 3: Great one that's called that is exploration. Great one that's

858
00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:24,239
Speaker 3: like a perfect one, perfect one. My husband has three

859
00:47:24,320 --> 00:47:27,680
Speaker 3: nipples and I constantly constantly tell everyone we meet he

860
00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:28,160
Speaker 3: hates it.

861
00:47:30,080 --> 00:47:36,000
Speaker 1: This one's brand absolved, Absolved both absolved, cat box pisser absolved.

862
00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:39,279
Speaker 1: Everybody that has a litter box is like I clean

863
00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:40,759
Speaker 1: all the time. You can't even tell your cat we

864
00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:44,400
Speaker 1: can found out. My husband of nineteen years had a

865
00:47:44,440 --> 00:47:47,280
Speaker 1: three year old kid with another woman. So I accidentally

866
00:47:47,480 --> 00:47:51,360
Speaker 1: dropped a forty pound metal santo on his prize convertible. Oops,

867
00:47:51,640 --> 00:48:01,279
Speaker 1: whoa absolve as you should? As you should next year,

868
00:48:01,719 --> 00:48:02,760
Speaker 1: fifty pound santo.

869
00:48:02,960 --> 00:48:06,320
Speaker 3: I I was day drinking at the pool of a resort,

870
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:08,240
Speaker 3: jumped in and puked just a little.

871
00:48:09,480 --> 00:48:10,359
Speaker 2: That's very fun.

872
00:48:10,440 --> 00:48:13,560
Speaker 3: You didn't think anyone noticed, but then they evacuated the pool.

873
00:48:15,600 --> 00:48:17,560
Speaker 3: A lifeguard came up to me and said, next time,

874
00:48:17,600 --> 00:48:24,000
Speaker 3: please tell someone if that happens again. I then denied

875
00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:28,080
Speaker 3: any wrong doing, had probably left the pool at resort.

876
00:48:28,520 --> 00:48:31,759
Speaker 2: You are absolved, absolved, awesome one.

877
00:48:33,239 --> 00:48:35,600
Speaker 1: You guys are doing really well. You're you're operating at

878
00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:39,440
Speaker 1: a Denver level. Yeah, we did the ones we got

879
00:48:39,480 --> 00:48:41,080
Speaker 1: in Denver. You heard it on the pod, but like

880
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:43,560
Speaker 1: there were we were not saying ones that we were like,

881
00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:45,359
Speaker 1: this might be illegal. Yeah.

882
00:48:46,600 --> 00:48:48,279
Speaker 3: One of them that we did say was that someone

883
00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:49,960
Speaker 3: burned another person's house down.

884
00:48:50,080 --> 00:48:53,760
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, who knows is Arsenal league in Colorado.

885
00:48:54,120 --> 00:49:00,359
Speaker 1: No, my partner and I both work for us PS.

886
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:04,040
Speaker 1: Long live USPS. We love you. Guys, can mail us

887
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:07,080
Speaker 1: any time you want, Banana, says a po box mail

888
00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:14,200
Speaker 1: us postcards. Nothing gross, you'd be surprised, uh when I

889
00:49:14,280 --> 00:49:17,879
Speaker 1: had the banana phone. Hello, my pardon and I both

890
00:49:17,920 --> 00:49:20,640
Speaker 1: work for USPS, and we may or may not, but

891
00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:23,640
Speaker 1: most definitely have had sex in a mail truck hashtag

892
00:49:23,719 --> 00:49:24,400
Speaker 1: no shame.

893
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:29,320
Speaker 2: Awesome first of law. Sorry Judy PS.

894
00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:34,719
Speaker 1: If you think, if you think hard, you've said my

895
00:49:34,880 --> 00:49:37,680
Speaker 1: name on the pod before when I answered a male question,

896
00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:40,399
Speaker 1: oh I know who this is, I got you. Well,

897
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:43,000
Speaker 1: you're absolved. That's fucking awesome. That's not even that's just great.

898
00:49:43,040 --> 00:49:47,080
Speaker 1: As long as the mail got there. Who cares? Uh,

899
00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:52,080
Speaker 1: thank you? Hi Banana Bob too. Dudes.

900
00:49:52,960 --> 00:49:55,640
Speaker 3: College, I was often the only one studying late in

901
00:49:55,800 --> 00:49:58,839
Speaker 3: our student union. Whenever I started dozing off, I would

902
00:49:58,880 --> 00:50:02,320
Speaker 3: go masturbate in the bathroom to wake myself up, always

903
00:50:02,360 --> 00:50:04,759
Speaker 3: in the same stall. Never got caught. Worked like a

904
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:12,040
Speaker 3: charm better than caffeine. No regrets, Z, you don't need

905
00:50:12,120 --> 00:50:12,840
Speaker 3: to be absolved.

906
00:50:12,960 --> 00:50:13,759
Speaker 1: That sounds great.

907
00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:18,000
Speaker 2: This is a great one and you spelled it correctly,

908
00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:18,759
Speaker 2: so good on you.

909
00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:21,640
Speaker 1: When I was a freshman in college, I purchased a

910
00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:24,840
Speaker 1: yamica so I could pretend to be a member of

911
00:50:24,960 --> 00:50:26,879
Speaker 1: the tribe, so I could hook up with a girl

912
00:50:26,880 --> 00:50:29,720
Speaker 1: who lived in the same dorm as may. That's awesome.

913
00:50:30,600 --> 00:50:33,040
Speaker 1: A lot of people that pretend to be religious every

914
00:50:33,120 --> 00:50:39,400
Speaker 1: Sunday all around the world. Absolved. Also, you spelled yamaka correctly.

915
00:50:39,480 --> 00:50:42,239
Speaker 1: When I first started as a writer, I could not

916
00:50:42,520 --> 00:50:44,919
Speaker 1: figure out how to spell it, and final draft, which

917
00:50:44,920 --> 00:50:47,920
Speaker 1: is what screenwriters use, just did not know what they

918
00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:50,560
Speaker 1: were Like, what are you fucking saying? And I had

919
00:50:50,560 --> 00:50:52,360
Speaker 1: to google it. If you don't know, Google is go

920
00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:55,680
Speaker 1: to bing um and bing Google.

921
00:50:55,880 --> 00:50:57,239
Speaker 2: Okay, these are good.

922
00:50:57,360 --> 00:50:58,160
Speaker 1: You guys are doing it good.

923
00:50:58,320 --> 00:51:00,200
Speaker 3: Last week I came here. This is just this, just

924
00:51:00,239 --> 00:51:02,319
Speaker 3: for this dude, I came here last week and got

925
00:51:02,360 --> 00:51:03,920
Speaker 3: a bug. I took it home and gave it to

926
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:06,960
Speaker 3: my husband, James Schick, who was one of your hugest fans,

927
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:09,040
Speaker 3: and he had to stay home today.

928
00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:10,600
Speaker 2: I feel so bad.

929
00:51:10,920 --> 00:51:16,400
Speaker 1: He's really mad at me. You're absolved. That's what this

930
00:51:16,640 --> 00:51:20,000
Speaker 1: is all about. Here's just a sweet one from this

931
00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:22,080
Speaker 1: table over here, I'm gonna point directly at you. My

932
00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:24,040
Speaker 1: best friend, who is at this show, just learned that

933
00:51:24,120 --> 00:51:26,239
Speaker 1: dandy lions are in fact the same plant as those

934
00:51:26,400 --> 00:51:28,840
Speaker 1: little white, fluffy balls that you make wishes on.

935
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:35,160
Speaker 2: Congratulations, welcome to planet Earth.

936
00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:41,680
Speaker 3: So, so this is just starts. So I stole my

937
00:51:41,800 --> 00:51:45,400
Speaker 3: friend's car. I did it out of love for my

938
00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:48,399
Speaker 3: other friend. My friend woke up after binging wine all night.

939
00:51:48,440 --> 00:51:51,560
Speaker 3: I love binging wine all night to see her car

940
00:51:51,840 --> 00:51:54,320
Speaker 3: was gone. They called the police and found it a

941
00:51:54,400 --> 00:51:56,359
Speaker 3: block away. I did my best to save the two

942
00:51:56,480 --> 00:51:59,799
Speaker 3: friends from seeing the other one because they're sad they

943
00:52:00,040 --> 00:52:04,680
Speaker 3: broke up. This is hard, Bananas, It is pretty cool.

944
00:52:05,640 --> 00:52:08,839
Speaker 1: If you say I don't understand it at all, nobody does.

945
00:52:09,239 --> 00:52:10,600
Speaker 2: But you are absolved.

946
00:52:10,760 --> 00:52:14,480
Speaker 1: You're definitely absolved. You are absolved if you say bananas

947
00:52:14,520 --> 00:52:16,040
Speaker 1: at the end of any sentence.

948
00:52:16,200 --> 00:52:19,280
Speaker 2: Yes, everybody thinks you do know what you're talking about.

949
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:27,680
Speaker 1: Bananas. Two more, yeah, two more. Well, this one just

950
00:52:27,719 --> 00:52:34,040
Speaker 1: says party time, and my friend passed her nursing test.

951
00:52:34,239 --> 00:52:36,680
Speaker 2: Congratulations friend, It's party time.

952
00:52:38,080 --> 00:52:39,680
Speaker 1: When I was a kid, I peted on all my

953
00:52:39,760 --> 00:52:41,239
Speaker 1: sister's shoes. Forgive me.

954
00:52:43,320 --> 00:52:44,000
Speaker 2: That feels good.

955
00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:47,840
Speaker 1: That's pretty good. Thank you before it lead for your confession.

956
00:52:50,760 --> 00:52:53,400
Speaker 1: Thank you everybody. Those we are great. Sorry if we

957
00:52:53,440 --> 00:52:55,400
Speaker 1: didn't get to it. Party time. I did steal that

958
00:52:55,480 --> 00:52:58,200
Speaker 1: sun from Baskin Robbins. Absolve me.

959
00:52:58,640 --> 00:53:00,399
Speaker 2: Okayk, who is it too?

960
00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:02,000
Speaker 1: Here we go.

961
00:53:02,320 --> 00:53:02,879
Speaker 2: I'm having fun.

962
00:53:02,960 --> 00:53:06,959
Speaker 1: Y'all have fun. You guys have fun here one more time.

963
00:53:07,160 --> 00:53:08,799
Speaker 1: On the count of three, just yell your first name,

964
00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:15,800
Speaker 1: so you're part of the show. One, two, three, doesn't stop.

965
00:53:15,880 --> 00:53:16,799
Speaker 2: Do you think if we.

966
00:53:16,960 --> 00:53:22,160
Speaker 1: Asked you just to yell nonsense it would sound more cohesive? Richard?

967
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:26,280
Speaker 1: So this is from Popular Mechanics, my favorite.

968
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:28,399
Speaker 2: He's reading it all the time.

969
00:53:28,960 --> 00:53:32,280
Speaker 3: It's got twelve year old kid built a working nuclear

970
00:53:32,440 --> 00:53:37,640
Speaker 3: fusion reactor and broke an epic record. He's the youngest

971
00:53:37,680 --> 00:53:40,200
Speaker 3: person to ever achieve fusion.

972
00:53:41,280 --> 00:53:41,560
Speaker 1: Nice.

973
00:53:41,680 --> 00:53:42,000
Speaker 2: That's it.

974
00:53:43,080 --> 00:53:44,840
Speaker 1: So here's I'm gonna just give you the kind of

975
00:53:44,880 --> 00:53:45,560
Speaker 1: the bullet points.

976
00:53:45,600 --> 00:53:47,560
Speaker 3: A teenager holds the new Guinness World Record for the

977
00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:50,560
Speaker 3: youngest person to achieve fusion feet he pulled off when

978
00:53:50,600 --> 00:53:53,759
Speaker 3: he was just twelve years old. Your homemade fusion reactors

979
00:53:53,880 --> 00:54:00,120
Speaker 3: aren't uncommon with more than a dozen children, with more

980
00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:04,759
Speaker 3: than a dozen children on the list of fusioneers, which

981
00:54:04,880 --> 00:54:06,080
Speaker 3: is definitely made up.

982
00:54:06,200 --> 00:54:07,720
Speaker 2: That's not real, that areal.

983
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:14,720
Speaker 3: The tiny reactor uses electricity to smash deuterium together, obviously

984
00:54:14,840 --> 00:54:19,759
Speaker 3: producing helium and an energetic neutron. I understand what they

985
00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:23,240
Speaker 3: mean by an energetic neutron, but it sounds very funny.

986
00:54:23,760 --> 00:54:27,319
Speaker 1: It sounds like this neutron wotes is still let him

987
00:54:27,360 --> 00:54:30,520
Speaker 1: run around the block. True.

988
00:54:31,120 --> 00:54:33,040
Speaker 3: So yeah, A teen genius at a US middle school

989
00:54:33,040 --> 00:54:36,520
Speaker 3: has been working on a tiny nuclear fusion reactor made

990
00:54:36,560 --> 00:54:39,080
Speaker 3: it in the Guinness World Record just hours before his

991
00:54:39,200 --> 00:54:40,160
Speaker 3: thirteenth birthday.

992
00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:41,800
Speaker 1: Futurism reports.

993
00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:45,600
Speaker 3: The quote I've been using I've been able to use

994
00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:48,080
Speaker 3: electricity to accelerate two atoms of deuterium together so they

995
00:54:48,120 --> 00:54:49,680
Speaker 3: fuse into an atom of helium three and also a

996
00:54:49,719 --> 00:54:51,919
Speaker 3: neutron which used heat of water and turn a steam engine,

997
00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:55,680
Speaker 3: which in turn produces electricity, said Jackson Oswald of Mississippi, Texas,

998
00:54:56,360 --> 00:55:03,520
Speaker 3: Mississippi Tennessee of Memphis, Tennessee, Missus Zippy Tennessee, Mississippi Tennessee, Tennessee,

999
00:55:03,560 --> 00:55:04,080
Speaker 3: New Jersey.

1000
00:55:07,680 --> 00:55:09,279
Speaker 1: So yeah, the next.

1001
00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:11,359
Speaker 3: Uh, the next closest one was a fourteen year old

1002
00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:12,040
Speaker 3: kid who had done it.

1003
00:55:12,160 --> 00:55:14,040
Speaker 1: I have no idea people are doing this at home.

1004
00:55:14,120 --> 00:55:14,720
Speaker 1: This is crazy.

1005
00:55:15,239 --> 00:55:18,320
Speaker 3: Twelve he's the video of him is he is like

1006
00:55:18,400 --> 00:55:20,239
Speaker 3: a forty five year old man and a twelve year

1007
00:55:20,239 --> 00:55:23,640
Speaker 3: old body. He's like this, We're going to remove all

1008
00:55:23,640 --> 00:55:26,399
Speaker 3: of the oxygen. Like he just speaks perfectly and he's

1009
00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:28,720
Speaker 3: very I mean, he's a genius. Obviously, he's a genius.

1010
00:55:28,840 --> 00:55:31,600
Speaker 1: I don't know, I think to do this. Yeah, she might,

1011
00:55:32,480 --> 00:55:32,839
Speaker 1: she might.

1012
00:55:33,280 --> 00:55:36,280
Speaker 3: So I remember when I was twelve, it was twelve

1013
00:55:36,320 --> 00:55:41,800
Speaker 3: exactly that my mom she there was a it was

1014
00:55:41,840 --> 00:55:48,680
Speaker 3: a program through our church where people kids from Korea

1015
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:52,440
Speaker 3: could come over beautiful and uh and get heart surgery

1016
00:55:52,480 --> 00:55:56,600
Speaker 3: that they couldn't get. And so this kid, jay Sung,

1017
00:55:56,719 --> 00:56:00,160
Speaker 3: he was twelve as well. He came over and and

1018
00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:02,640
Speaker 3: lived with us for a summer beautiful, so he'd get

1019
00:56:02,680 --> 00:56:06,000
Speaker 3: heart surgery in Philadelphia somewhere at a children's hospital.

1020
00:56:06,040 --> 00:56:08,560
Speaker 1: And yeah, my mom was a nurse.

1021
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:12,840
Speaker 3: She was a good person, and uh, and so I

1022
00:56:13,040 --> 00:56:15,239
Speaker 3: was there so but also my mom worked all the time,

1023
00:56:15,320 --> 00:56:18,040
Speaker 3: so I was it was just me and Jaysung together.

1024
00:56:18,680 --> 00:56:19,920
Speaker 1: He spoke no English.

1025
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:22,239
Speaker 3: I spoke no Korean, so it was just like the

1026
00:56:22,360 --> 00:56:25,920
Speaker 3: only thing we connected on was watching wrestling, like we

1027
00:56:26,040 --> 00:56:26,920
Speaker 3: both liked wrestling.

1028
00:56:27,200 --> 00:56:29,160
Speaker 1: It is like that that.

1029
00:56:29,400 --> 00:56:32,799
Speaker 3: It was like he was sad almost all the time,

1030
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:34,560
Speaker 3: but then wrestling came on and he would just go

1031
00:56:34,680 --> 00:56:36,880
Speaker 3: ape shit. I mean as ape shit as you can

1032
00:56:36,960 --> 00:56:38,279
Speaker 3: go with if you have a hole in your heart.

1033
00:56:38,320 --> 00:56:41,399
Speaker 3: He had a hole in his heart, but he got

1034
00:56:41,480 --> 00:56:43,880
Speaker 3: fixed and he got he got it fixed and it

1035
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:46,440
Speaker 3: was success and everything. I have no idea where Jaysung is.

1036
00:56:46,520 --> 00:56:48,680
Speaker 1: This is probably wrestler. Yeah, I don't even know.

1037
00:56:48,840 --> 00:56:52,680
Speaker 2: It's probably drop kicking punks all over Korea.

1038
00:56:53,239 --> 00:56:55,879
Speaker 3: I have no idea if Jaysung is his actual name

1039
00:56:56,239 --> 00:56:58,120
Speaker 3: or if it was just some like Jersey, Like, I

1040
00:56:58,160 --> 00:57:01,279
Speaker 3: don't know, man, call him Jaysung, you know, he's like,

1041
00:57:01,360 --> 00:57:02,000
Speaker 3: it's Jason.

1042
00:57:02,080 --> 00:57:05,839
Speaker 1: Why the so weird? The whole time it like it's

1043
00:57:06,080 --> 00:57:12,680
Speaker 1: my nice kid. I speak English and what's happening? Though,

1044
00:57:13,800 --> 00:57:17,880
Speaker 1: They're like I'm drunken Irish strip Hey Jason.

1045
00:57:19,720 --> 00:57:22,240
Speaker 3: So my mom was at work on one Saturday, it

1046
00:57:22,280 --> 00:57:24,920
Speaker 3: was me and Jason hanging out and out of the blue,

1047
00:57:25,840 --> 00:57:30,919
Speaker 3: my I guess he was. He was my actual grandmother's

1048
00:57:31,120 --> 00:57:32,280
Speaker 3: ex husband.

1049
00:57:32,480 --> 00:57:34,520
Speaker 2: My actual grandmother's EXU.

1050
00:57:34,880 --> 00:57:40,040
Speaker 3: So yes, my mom, my mom's mom's ex husband. He

1051
00:57:40,200 --> 00:57:43,520
Speaker 3: was this dude, big gambler. She divorced him because he

1052
00:57:43,640 --> 00:57:44,640
Speaker 3: just like lost all their money.

1053
00:57:44,720 --> 00:57:47,280
Speaker 1: Don't don't lose all the money. Don't lose all the money.

1054
00:57:47,360 --> 00:57:47,880
Speaker 1: Come on, guys.

1055
00:57:47,960 --> 00:57:50,280
Speaker 3: He comes by the house and uh, and I've seen

1056
00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:53,280
Speaker 3: him before, but it's definitely not in my life at all.

1057
00:57:53,840 --> 00:57:56,880
Speaker 3: And he just like shows up and I think he's like, hey,

1058
00:57:56,960 --> 00:57:59,200
Speaker 3: I want to take it to the beach. And we're

1059
00:57:59,280 --> 00:58:03,080
Speaker 3: like what, Like, you're with the why what are you doing?

1060
00:58:03,280 --> 00:58:07,680
Speaker 3: Huh We've never done anything together and now we're going

1061
00:58:07,800 --> 00:58:10,760
Speaker 3: to the beach and uh. And so I called my

1062
00:58:10,840 --> 00:58:12,880
Speaker 3: mom and mom was like yeah, and she was like, yay,

1063
00:58:12,960 --> 00:58:14,240
Speaker 3: you can go to the beach, but you know, have

1064
00:58:14,360 --> 00:58:16,920
Speaker 3: him back above this time or whatever. And so he's like,

1065
00:58:16,960 --> 00:58:19,000
Speaker 3: come on, kids, hop in and he drives a Cadillac.

1066
00:58:19,040 --> 00:58:22,120
Speaker 3: He drives a white Caddie like classic Jersey, and we

1067
00:58:22,200 --> 00:58:23,760
Speaker 3: hop in and we're in the back and then I

1068
00:58:23,960 --> 00:58:25,480
Speaker 3: know how long it takes to get to the beach

1069
00:58:25,560 --> 00:58:27,880
Speaker 3: from my house. It takes about ten minutes, pretty close

1070
00:58:28,280 --> 00:58:32,080
Speaker 3: around the hour long mark. And we're on the Highway,

1071
00:58:32,240 --> 00:58:35,560
Speaker 3: and I'm like, what beach are we going to? And

1072
00:58:35,640 --> 00:58:38,160
Speaker 3: he's like, don't worry about it, don't worry about it,

1073
00:58:39,320 --> 00:58:40,240
Speaker 3: and we just keep.

1074
00:58:40,240 --> 00:58:41,800
Speaker 1: Driving for another hour.

1075
00:58:42,080 --> 00:58:44,640
Speaker 3: Okay, and me and Jaysung Jayson's got a hole in

1076
00:58:44,720 --> 00:58:49,440
Speaker 3: his heart and it turns condition and then we fucking

1077
00:58:49,560 --> 00:58:53,439
Speaker 3: pull into Bailey's or whatever. Atlantic City.

1078
00:58:53,960 --> 00:58:54,440
Speaker 2: He brought us to.

1079
00:58:54,520 --> 00:58:59,840
Speaker 1: Atlantic City. Atlantic City is the hole in the heart

1080
00:58:59,920 --> 00:59:02,960
Speaker 1: of America? Is it really really is?

1081
00:59:03,160 --> 00:59:08,480
Speaker 3: What like, imagine imagine Vegas and then remove all the

1082
00:59:08,640 --> 00:59:09,840
Speaker 3: nice parts of Vegas.

1083
00:59:10,040 --> 00:59:14,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, good, and that's Atlantic City. That's right. It's just

1084
00:59:14,800 --> 00:59:16,200
Speaker 1: deep sadness on the beach.

1085
00:59:16,600 --> 00:59:20,480
Speaker 3: And so we go and we go in and he's

1086
00:59:20,560 --> 00:59:22,880
Speaker 3: like he gives us each twenty dollars and we and

1087
00:59:22,920 --> 00:59:25,640
Speaker 3: there's He's like, there's an arcade, play some games. I'm

1088
00:59:25,680 --> 00:59:27,920
Speaker 3: gonna go downstairs, Yes, sir, I'm gonna.

1089
00:59:27,680 --> 00:59:30,600
Speaker 1: Do some stuff and I'll be right back. Yeah, we

1090
00:59:30,800 --> 00:59:31,960
Speaker 1: do some stuff. I don't know.

1091
00:59:32,040 --> 00:59:35,520
Speaker 3: It's nineteen eighty something. Twenty bucks of quarters lasts you

1092
00:59:36,120 --> 00:59:39,400
Speaker 3: a day, two hours, yeah, a little while, two three hours.

1093
00:59:39,520 --> 00:59:46,120
Speaker 1: Yeah. He left us. It's almost eighty quarters for six hours,

1094
00:59:47,320 --> 00:59:49,600
Speaker 1: to the point where we like used up forty dollars

1095
00:59:49,680 --> 00:59:52,600
Speaker 1: of quarters hard to do at that time. And then

1096
00:59:52,640 --> 00:59:54,480
Speaker 1: are just like sitting there and Jason in.

1097
00:59:54,480 --> 00:59:57,480
Speaker 2: A fucking hole in his arm, not doing great this Jason.

1098
00:59:57,520 --> 01:00:00,560
Speaker 3: And uh, and then like he piles back in the car.

1099
01:00:00,640 --> 01:00:02,880
Speaker 3: I think he got us food and then like brings

1100
01:00:02,960 --> 01:00:06,360
Speaker 3: us home. And I in my whole life, I have

1101
01:00:06,640 --> 01:00:11,640
Speaker 3: never seen my mom like like she almost fought him,

1102
01:00:11,880 --> 01:00:14,760
Speaker 3: she almost like physically killed him.

1103
01:00:14,960 --> 01:00:15,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, I bet she did.

1104
01:00:16,160 --> 01:00:19,600
Speaker 2: She should have, Like we pull up, she should have.

1105
01:00:20,560 --> 01:00:22,600
Speaker 3: And then we never saw it. We never ever saw

1106
01:00:22,720 --> 01:00:23,200
Speaker 3: him again.

1107
01:00:23,560 --> 01:00:25,240
Speaker 2: Oh I bet is that true? Yeah?

1108
01:00:25,960 --> 01:00:29,200
Speaker 1: Wow? I went down to Atlantic City once a statian

1109
01:00:29,240 --> 01:00:32,320
Speaker 1: girls from Margate, New Jersey, and there's a very famous

1110
01:00:32,720 --> 01:00:36,360
Speaker 1: elephant there, fake elephant statue. It's like as big as

1111
01:00:36,400 --> 01:00:39,240
Speaker 1: a house, and people go visit this elephant. And her

1112
01:00:39,360 --> 01:00:41,520
Speaker 1: dad was like trying to impress me. He lived in

1113
01:00:41,600 --> 01:00:44,440
Speaker 1: a townhouse on a golf course, and he's just like,

1114
01:00:44,560 --> 01:00:45,840
Speaker 1: you know what, I like living here.

1115
01:00:46,360 --> 01:00:47,040
Speaker 2: It's quiet.

1116
01:00:47,360 --> 01:00:49,280
Speaker 1: You're in Jersey, but you feel like you're away from everything.

1117
01:00:49,520 --> 01:00:51,360
Speaker 2: And then a man fucked up.

1118
01:00:51,320 --> 01:00:54,360
Speaker 1: His drive and just threw his one wood or whatever

1119
01:00:54,520 --> 01:01:00,720
Speaker 1: driver into a lake and goes, oh, fuck me, And

1120
01:01:00,840 --> 01:01:02,080
Speaker 1: I was like I didn't say anything.

1121
01:01:02,120 --> 01:01:03,640
Speaker 2: I was like, yes, they're very cool. You definitely can

1122
01:01:03,680 --> 01:01:04,480
Speaker 2: get away from it all.

1123
01:01:04,560 --> 01:01:10,280
Speaker 3: Here right right near Margate is Brigantine and it's a

1124
01:01:10,280 --> 01:01:12,280
Speaker 3: beautiful beach there and bring a team, but there's like dunes.

1125
01:01:12,320 --> 01:01:13,680
Speaker 3: You have to go over the dunes to get to

1126
01:01:13,720 --> 01:01:15,560
Speaker 3: the beach. And we were it was my buddies, like

1127
01:01:15,600 --> 01:01:17,440
Speaker 3: bachelor party or something. We were very drunk, and we

1128
01:01:17,520 --> 01:01:20,440
Speaker 3: went over the dunes, took off our sneakers, and then

1129
01:01:20,440 --> 01:01:22,439
Speaker 3: we're like playing in the sand. And then we come

1130
01:01:22,560 --> 01:01:27,120
Speaker 3: back and a fucking fox has taken there's beach foxes,

1131
01:01:27,200 --> 01:01:30,560
Speaker 3: and no one told us about this. So we're drunk

1132
01:01:30,640 --> 01:01:32,640
Speaker 3: and we're super high, and all of a sudden, a

1133
01:01:32,760 --> 01:01:35,440
Speaker 3: fox is like has my shoe in its mouth, and

1134
01:01:35,520 --> 01:01:35,880
Speaker 3: I was like.

1135
01:01:35,920 --> 01:01:37,960
Speaker 1: What are you doing? And he just was like and

1136
01:01:38,040 --> 01:01:39,680
Speaker 1: he just took off with my shoe.

1137
01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:44,280
Speaker 3: And that he had stolen everyone else's shoes already.

1138
01:01:44,440 --> 01:01:45,680
Speaker 2: Oh hell yeah.

1139
01:01:45,800 --> 01:01:47,720
Speaker 3: And I was just so mad that I threw the

1140
01:01:47,840 --> 01:01:50,760
Speaker 3: other shoe at him because he like he stopped and

1141
01:01:50,960 --> 01:01:52,440
Speaker 3: looked at me with my shoe in his mouth, and

1142
01:01:52,480 --> 01:01:53,919
Speaker 3: I was like, God, damn it. I threw my shoe

1143
01:01:53,920 --> 01:01:55,600
Speaker 3: to him, and he just like moved and it hit

1144
01:01:55,640 --> 01:01:58,040
Speaker 3: the ground and then he dropped that shoe and grabbed.

1145
01:01:57,720 --> 01:01:58,280
Speaker 2: The other shoe.

1146
01:02:00,640 --> 01:02:03,520
Speaker 1: Oh that's fucking great. What if the Jersey devil is

1147
01:02:03,600 --> 01:02:05,440
Speaker 1: just a fox carrying a hot time? I love that,

1148
01:02:06,120 --> 01:02:06,960
Speaker 1: just a silhouette.

1149
01:02:06,960 --> 01:02:07,920
Speaker 2: They're like, what the hell was that?

1150
01:02:09,400 --> 01:02:10,920
Speaker 1: It's just a fox killing of Doc Martin.

1151
01:02:12,520 --> 01:02:13,600
Speaker 2: I believe I have one.

1152
01:02:13,520 --> 01:02:17,040
Speaker 1: More, all right, last story of the night. Baby, you

1153
01:02:17,280 --> 01:02:19,600
Speaker 1: have been a great audience.

1154
01:02:19,960 --> 01:02:28,320
Speaker 2: Who here likes true crime? We Kurt and I both

1155
01:02:28,400 --> 01:02:28,800
Speaker 2: love that.

1156
01:02:29,240 --> 01:02:30,800
Speaker 1: You know, we were like, what do you call the

1157
01:02:31,080 --> 01:02:36,120
Speaker 1: banana murderinos and that it's naturally just become the murder bananas.

1158
01:02:37,120 --> 01:02:40,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not banana reno, it's murder bananas.

1159
01:02:41,160 --> 01:02:43,160
Speaker 2: Murder bananas is so it's so funny.

1160
01:02:43,640 --> 01:02:45,800
Speaker 1: It's the dumbest way to we should talk to them

1161
01:02:45,840 --> 01:02:49,200
Speaker 1: about making just a crossover T shirt that says banana.

1162
01:02:49,560 --> 01:02:53,520
Speaker 1: Ah well yeah, yeah, like a knife and then the

1163
01:02:53,600 --> 01:02:56,919
Speaker 1: reflection is just a banana and you're like, yeah, pretty cool,

1164
01:02:57,160 --> 01:02:57,600
Speaker 1: that's great.

1165
01:02:57,640 --> 01:02:58,240
Speaker 2: I like that lot.

1166
01:02:58,400 --> 01:03:01,320
Speaker 1: Kelly Tillott sent and Kelly are you here?

1167
01:03:02,400 --> 01:03:03,400
Speaker 2: No, but we love that.

1168
01:03:03,560 --> 01:03:06,000
Speaker 1: Kelly tillet a lot of l's in that name. Take

1169
01:03:06,040 --> 01:03:12,480
Speaker 1: the l's out. You just get key tet which is cool, uh,

1170
01:03:15,520 --> 01:03:19,400
Speaker 1: which is extremely cool. Artnet dot Com had this Curt

1171
01:03:19,440 --> 01:03:21,280
Speaker 1: you are you kidding me?

1172
01:03:21,360 --> 01:03:21,680
Speaker 2: I love it?

1173
01:03:21,720 --> 01:03:23,400
Speaker 1: I was like, what are we gonna call our website?

1174
01:03:23,440 --> 01:03:26,720
Speaker 2: Aren't try to get it? We had to settle for bananas.

1175
01:03:27,840 --> 01:03:31,840
Speaker 1: Sarah Cascone wrote this, Oh she's good. Some would say

1176
01:03:31,880 --> 01:03:38,439
Speaker 1: that she is the dam were we were just faded away.

1177
01:03:38,680 --> 01:03:43,000
Speaker 1: We were did one Rasberry by the end and Asberry we.

1178
01:03:43,000 --> 01:03:45,560
Speaker 3: Were like, we're like best in the and we were

1179
01:03:45,680 --> 01:03:47,840
Speaker 3: like we know, and I was just like, what do

1180
01:03:47,880 --> 01:03:50,080
Speaker 3: you This isn't this hasn't been three hours?

1181
01:03:50,160 --> 01:03:50,880
Speaker 1: Like what's going on?

1182
01:03:51,360 --> 01:03:52,560
Speaker 2: Quick? Seventy minute?

1183
01:03:52,960 --> 01:03:56,800
Speaker 1: Really did not give a ship. Baltimore, if you're listening,

1184
01:03:56,960 --> 01:04:01,480
Speaker 1: do better. We're covering for you for if Baltimo isn't insane, Oh,

1185
01:04:02,160 --> 01:04:05,840
Speaker 1: never going to Maryland again. Baltimore is so wonderful.

1186
01:04:05,960 --> 01:04:09,280
Speaker 3: It's gonna be Also, remember just tip everybody really ell

1187
01:04:09,400 --> 01:04:14,560
Speaker 3: here tonight. Wherever we go the serve, the servers always

1188
01:04:14,600 --> 01:04:16,040
Speaker 3: come up to us and we're like, your crowd is

1189
01:04:16,160 --> 01:04:18,520
Speaker 3: really nice, and they fucking tip really well.

1190
01:04:18,760 --> 01:04:20,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, please let's keep that going.

1191
01:04:23,760 --> 01:04:26,240
Speaker 2: I have another party story, and I'm very sorry.

1192
01:04:26,400 --> 01:04:32,040
Speaker 1: Party story A drunken party guest stole the thumb off

1193
01:04:32,120 --> 01:04:35,400
Speaker 1: a four point five million dollar terra cotta warrior. Wow,

1194
01:04:36,080 --> 01:04:36,880
Speaker 1: just the thumb?

1195
01:04:37,160 --> 01:04:38,880
Speaker 2: True crime Okay.

1196
01:04:41,440 --> 01:04:41,840
Speaker 1: Solved?

1197
01:04:42,640 --> 01:04:42,800
Speaker 3: Oh?

1198
01:04:43,440 --> 01:04:45,280
Speaker 1: You know, like there was that weird aer on Netflix

1199
01:04:45,320 --> 01:04:46,840
Speaker 1: like six years ago. They would put out a true

1200
01:04:46,880 --> 01:04:49,040
Speaker 1: crime doc and then they were just so open ended.

1201
01:04:49,120 --> 01:04:51,760
Speaker 1: You're like, why did I watch this? Yeah, they're like,

1202
01:04:51,840 --> 01:04:56,240
Speaker 1: we'll never know. The bodies keep piling up, but we'll

1203
01:04:56,360 --> 01:05:00,800
Speaker 1: never know, and you're like, I hate this. A drunken

1204
01:05:00,920 --> 01:05:05,840
Speaker 1: night at the Philadelphia Franklin Institute won't end with decades

1205
01:05:05,920 --> 01:05:10,280
Speaker 1: behind bars for a museum visitor named Michael Rohanna, who

1206
01:05:10,480 --> 01:05:13,120
Speaker 1: has accepted a plea deal for stealing the finger from

1207
01:05:13,160 --> 01:05:18,720
Speaker 1: one of China's most famous terracotta warrior sculptors. Michael did

1208
01:05:18,760 --> 01:05:21,000
Speaker 1: this during an ugly Christmas sweater party.

1209
01:05:23,680 --> 01:05:24,600
Speaker 5: Unbelieve.

1210
01:05:27,080 --> 01:05:31,960
Speaker 1: Michael Rohanna's scheduled to plead guilty to charges of interstate

1211
01:05:32,040 --> 01:05:35,920
Speaker 1: trafficking in Philadelphia Federal Court on April seventeenth, reports Philadelphia's

1212
01:05:36,120 --> 01:05:41,240
Speaker 1: Kay Why W News radio media missed it in the biz,

1213
01:05:43,280 --> 01:05:45,600
Speaker 1: The maximum sentence is two years in jail with a

1214
01:05:45,640 --> 01:05:48,680
Speaker 1: fine of twenty thousand dollars, but that is down from

1215
01:05:48,720 --> 01:05:54,240
Speaker 1: a thirty year prison sentence. What for a thumb? For

1216
01:05:54,360 --> 01:05:59,640
Speaker 1: a terra cotta thumb? What is terra cotta? And why

1217
01:05:59,800 --> 01:06:03,120
Speaker 1: is it hardened cheese? It seems like hardened cheese. You

1218
01:06:03,160 --> 01:06:03,520
Speaker 1: know it is.

1219
01:06:03,600 --> 01:06:04,520
Speaker 2: It's just underground.

1220
01:06:04,560 --> 01:06:07,680
Speaker 1: They found that, like burial chamber of like thousands of

1221
01:06:08,040 --> 01:06:10,840
Speaker 1: Chinese warriors. I mean, I understand what it looks like,

1222
01:06:10,960 --> 01:06:11,600
Speaker 1: but I don't.

1223
01:06:11,440 --> 01:06:12,480
Speaker 2: Know what it is, Like.

1224
01:06:14,600 --> 01:06:21,120
Speaker 1: Clay, the Chinese won't tell us. We're sending balloons over

1225
01:06:21,160 --> 01:06:25,480
Speaker 1: there constantly. What is terracottas? Tell us?

1226
01:06:25,920 --> 01:06:33,760
Speaker 6: Tell us, we'll tell you something about us. Rubber bosoms,

1227
01:06:33,800 --> 01:06:36,000
Speaker 6: we'll tell you about them. Well, you guys want to

1228
01:06:36,080 --> 01:06:37,840
Speaker 6: know how saltwater taffy's made?

1229
01:06:37,920 --> 01:06:42,840
Speaker 1: Will tell you. No saltwater involved. No salt water. That's true.

1230
01:06:43,080 --> 01:06:45,760
Speaker 1: It's true. So a wave came up on the beach

1231
01:06:45,840 --> 01:06:48,400
Speaker 1: and went under taffy stand and the guy joked at

1232
01:06:48,440 --> 01:06:50,360
Speaker 1: saltwater taffy, and everybody thought it was cool.

1233
01:06:50,400 --> 01:06:53,000
Speaker 2: And that's what it's skulled saltwater taffy. That's one hundred

1234
01:06:53,040 --> 01:06:53,560
Speaker 2: percent tro.

1235
01:06:53,640 --> 01:06:57,000
Speaker 1: Yep, it doesn't have so you guys ever had it.

1236
01:06:57,080 --> 01:06:59,360
Speaker 2: It's not salty, that is true.

1237
01:07:00,280 --> 01:07:02,520
Speaker 3: Kids, Like, what are you gonna get no, like you're

1238
01:07:02,600 --> 01:07:04,440
Speaker 3: just gnawing on a junk assault.

1239
01:07:05,320 --> 01:07:09,640
Speaker 2: I like my cavities. They define me.

1240
01:07:11,120 --> 01:07:14,440
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, down from thirty year prison sentence he previously

1241
01:07:14,520 --> 01:07:17,240
Speaker 1: faced on charges of theft and concealment of an object

1242
01:07:17,320 --> 01:07:20,120
Speaker 1: of cultural heritage from the museum. That it does seem

1243
01:07:20,200 --> 01:07:21,480
Speaker 1: they wrote that for him.

1244
01:07:22,320 --> 01:07:25,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, that sounds like the law was called on the

1245
01:07:26,120 --> 01:07:29,040
Speaker 3: charges of taking a thumb that wasn't yours man.

1246
01:07:30,480 --> 01:07:33,680
Speaker 1: That's right. Rohanna was just twenty four years old when

1247
01:07:33,720 --> 01:07:36,640
Speaker 1: he attended an after hours party at the Franklin Institute

1248
01:07:36,680 --> 01:07:38,520
Speaker 1: on December twenty first, twenty seventeen.

1249
01:07:39,120 --> 01:07:42,000
Speaker 3: This is in Philly, yes, sir, of course it is.

1250
01:07:43,240 --> 01:07:47,400
Speaker 3: Also they're having after hours fucking Philly's crazy. You guys

1251
01:07:47,440 --> 01:07:51,680
Speaker 3: want to go fucking get crazy at the Franklin Institute

1252
01:07:51,840 --> 01:07:52,840
Speaker 3: at two am.

1253
01:07:52,680 --> 01:07:58,720
Speaker 2: And an ugly Christmas sweater? Yes, we do.

1254
01:07:59,560 --> 01:07:59,960
Speaker 1: We would go.

1255
01:08:01,240 --> 01:08:04,040
Speaker 2: I'd wear a very classy sweater and be like that's funny.

1256
01:08:05,560 --> 01:08:08,160
Speaker 1: During the event, he wandered into the museum galleries, which

1257
01:08:08,200 --> 01:08:11,480
Speaker 1: were unlocked, and slip past a rope blocking the entrance

1258
01:08:11,960 --> 01:08:13,640
Speaker 1: to a darkened exhibit.

1259
01:08:14,240 --> 01:08:19,640
Speaker 2: Oh this dirty dog. Video surveillance captured. So he's on

1260
01:08:19,960 --> 01:08:20,799
Speaker 2: fucking camera.

1261
01:08:21,040 --> 01:08:23,880
Speaker 1: Of course it is so funny and not was like, Oh,

1262
01:08:23,960 --> 01:08:26,280
Speaker 1: this is gonna be the most filmed place in the world.

1263
01:08:26,439 --> 01:08:29,960
Speaker 3: He's in one of America's great institutions.

1264
01:08:30,040 --> 01:08:30,560
Speaker 1: He is.

1265
01:08:30,800 --> 01:08:34,040
Speaker 2: He's in the Franklin Institution, which I have my heart.

1266
01:08:34,320 --> 01:08:37,040
Speaker 1: You could walk through the heart. Yes, as a child.

1267
01:08:37,080 --> 01:08:38,040
Speaker 3: I don't know if he can do it now.

1268
01:08:38,360 --> 01:08:46,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, I bet Jason did that. Yeah, servants in a

1269
01:08:46,080 --> 01:08:46,400
Speaker 2: good way.

1270
01:08:46,439 --> 01:08:49,439
Speaker 1: He laved. He's fine, he's great. He had it was

1271
01:08:49,479 --> 01:08:50,400
Speaker 1: a success story.

1272
01:08:51,280 --> 01:08:53,720
Speaker 2: He was named Jason. He was from Puerto Rico. It

1273
01:08:53,840 --> 01:08:55,799
Speaker 2: was a huge mistake, a huge mistake.

1274
01:08:56,000 --> 01:08:57,400
Speaker 1: He had nothing wrong with his heart.

1275
01:08:57,479 --> 01:08:58,400
Speaker 2: He was forty five.

1276
01:08:58,960 --> 01:09:01,400
Speaker 1: He was speaking the whole time.

1277
01:09:01,840 --> 01:09:02,920
Speaker 2: Love wrestless.

1278
01:09:02,960 --> 01:09:04,400
Speaker 1: This is amazing. Good guy.

1279
01:09:05,200 --> 01:09:08,320
Speaker 2: Vidos Vans captured Rohanna wearing.

1280
01:09:08,080 --> 01:09:12,160
Speaker 1: A Phillies baseball cap, awesome breke green sweater and posing

1281
01:09:12,400 --> 01:09:14,479
Speaker 1: for a selfie with his arm wrapped around a two

1282
01:09:14,479 --> 01:09:18,360
Speaker 1: thousand year old sculpture known as the Cavalry Man, which

1283
01:09:18,439 --> 01:09:20,719
Speaker 1: is ensured for four point five million.

1284
01:09:22,560 --> 01:09:23,880
Speaker 2: I snuck under the rope to go.

1285
01:09:26,040 --> 01:09:33,160
Speaker 1: Jersey Philly Steve's Prince of Sticks. As he walked away,

1286
01:09:33,280 --> 01:09:35,720
Speaker 1: Rohanna seemed to break something off the figure's left hand

1287
01:09:35,760 --> 01:09:38,800
Speaker 1: and then placed it in his pocket. He broke it off.

1288
01:09:38,920 --> 01:09:40,880
Speaker 1: He's just like want something to remember the.

1289
01:09:41,080 --> 01:09:43,839
Speaker 2: Spot, I mean, the thought process.

1290
01:09:44,080 --> 01:09:45,719
Speaker 1: I know you can't blame alcohol.

1291
01:09:46,520 --> 01:09:47,599
Speaker 2: He's just a dork.

1292
01:09:47,840 --> 01:09:52,240
Speaker 1: Yeah. It wasn't until January eighth, so not that three

1293
01:09:52,280 --> 01:09:54,679
Speaker 1: weeks later. Not that long after that, the Franklin suit

1294
01:09:54,800 --> 01:09:56,920
Speaker 1: noticed that the statue's thumb was missing. Or review of

1295
01:09:56,960 --> 01:10:00,679
Speaker 1: security footage, combined with credit card records from to purchase

1296
01:10:00,720 --> 01:10:05,080
Speaker 1: tickets to the event, allowed the FBI to finger Rohan

1297
01:10:08,200 --> 01:10:09,840
Speaker 1: best at the Best.

1298
01:10:13,080 --> 01:10:21,439
Speaker 2: Sarah Cascone. Yes, yes, she is good. Uh, I'm gonna

1299
01:10:21,479 --> 01:10:22,280
Speaker 2: wrap you home.

1300
01:10:22,560 --> 01:10:24,720
Speaker 1: Hold on. There's a couple of funny little details, now, okay,

1301
01:10:24,880 --> 01:10:25,879
Speaker 1: China was furious.

1302
01:10:28,200 --> 01:10:29,200
Speaker 2: That's just funny to say.

1303
01:10:30,400 --> 01:10:33,160
Speaker 1: The FBI special agent Jacob Archer turned up to Rohan's

1304
01:10:33,160 --> 01:10:37,360
Speaker 1: Delaware residence on February twenty eighteen. The suspect immediately confessed

1305
01:10:37,400 --> 01:10:39,680
Speaker 1: to his crime, then return the stone digit, which he

1306
01:10:39,800 --> 01:10:41,840
Speaker 1: kept stored in a bedroom desk drawer.

1307
01:10:41,960 --> 01:10:48,200
Speaker 2: Oh my god, so he did share the.

1308
01:10:48,240 --> 01:10:53,479
Speaker 1: Image of the Chira cat fum on Snapchat. No perfect crime,

1309
01:10:53,800 --> 01:10:57,400
Speaker 1: perfect crime. How do they catch these men? I'll never know?

1310
01:11:00,280 --> 01:11:02,479
Speaker 1: From the figure the oh this is what's interesting. This

1311
01:11:02,600 --> 01:11:03,200
Speaker 1: is very funny.

1312
01:11:03,800 --> 01:11:04,519
Speaker 2: This is so good.

1313
01:11:04,680 --> 01:11:07,040
Speaker 1: Separated from the figure, how much is this thumb worth

1314
01:11:07,160 --> 01:11:12,640
Speaker 1: on its own? Really? Two experts offered wildly different appraisals.

1315
01:11:13,680 --> 01:11:15,800
Speaker 2: Testifying on behalf of the prosecution.

1316
01:11:16,680 --> 01:11:20,960
Speaker 1: Michael Kohene claimed it was worth one hundred and fifty

1317
01:11:21,160 --> 01:11:28,160
Speaker 1: thousand dollars okay. Called by the defense, Lark E. Mason

1318
01:11:28,520 --> 01:11:34,200
Speaker 1: said it was worth one thousand dollars. You guys as

1319
01:11:34,200 --> 01:11:37,320
Speaker 1: the murder but has no experts are not always experts

1320
01:11:37,520 --> 01:11:38,519
Speaker 1: or often experts.

1321
01:11:38,920 --> 01:11:39,639
Speaker 2: Dah blah blah blah.

1322
01:11:39,680 --> 01:11:43,000
Speaker 1: Anyway, so this guy, there's gonna be a second trial

1323
01:11:44,040 --> 01:11:46,760
Speaker 1: the jury. The jury has to ask itself, did an

1324
01:11:46,800 --> 01:11:50,080
Speaker 1: incident of impulsive alcohol fuel vandalism really merit the same

1325
01:11:50,120 --> 01:11:53,920
Speaker 1: punishment as a premeditated art heist. The lawyer say it

1326
01:11:54,000 --> 01:11:56,080
Speaker 1: does not. These charges were made for art these blah

1327
01:11:56,120 --> 01:12:00,280
Speaker 1: blah blah. So this guy is basically his defense goes,

1328
01:12:00,600 --> 01:12:02,679
Speaker 1: he was a drunk kid in a bright green, ugly

1329
01:12:03,200 --> 01:12:06,960
Speaker 1: Christmas sweater. He's not a ninja ninja clothing sneaking around

1330
01:12:08,080 --> 01:12:12,599
Speaker 1: this is this court is in Philadelphia. Look at him.

1331
01:12:12,640 --> 01:12:17,479
Speaker 1: He's a dumb asshole. He's not some fucking ninja oh man, Well,

1332
01:12:17,560 --> 01:12:23,120
Speaker 1: speaking of fingers where they don't belong. Yeah, I recently

1333
01:12:23,240 --> 01:12:24,240
Speaker 1: had a colonoscopy.

1334
01:12:24,439 --> 01:12:26,960
Speaker 2: Mm hmm soda Curtie B.

1335
01:12:28,000 --> 01:12:32,880
Speaker 1: Yeah. How we didn't talk about this and they were

1336
01:12:32,960 --> 01:12:35,760
Speaker 1: one week apart. Yeah, we did not talk about it,

1337
01:12:36,000 --> 01:12:38,120
Speaker 1: like we just booked him separately. Yeah, we talked about Yeah.

1338
01:12:38,600 --> 01:12:40,519
Speaker 1: The one thing that I was shocked by it.

1339
01:12:40,600 --> 01:12:43,120
Speaker 3: I don't know if this is how you get how

1340
01:12:43,240 --> 01:12:46,040
Speaker 3: you get your medical care, but uh, yes, I went

1341
01:12:46,200 --> 01:12:48,240
Speaker 3: in and the main thing they kept telling me is like,

1342
01:12:48,280 --> 01:12:50,640
Speaker 3: you have to bring cash or a check for the

1343
01:12:50,760 --> 01:12:53,000
Speaker 3: ant for the anesthesian.

1344
01:12:53,280 --> 01:12:55,320
Speaker 1: No, only the anestegis.

1345
01:12:57,680 --> 01:13:00,479
Speaker 2: Were you in a building. I was in a b oh,

1346
01:13:00,520 --> 01:13:01,360
Speaker 2: he was in a building.

1347
01:13:01,840 --> 01:13:03,959
Speaker 1: It wasn't just a guy. I mean it was all professional.

1348
01:13:04,000 --> 01:13:04,880
Speaker 1: It was totally fine.

1349
01:13:05,200 --> 01:13:07,360
Speaker 3: But like I get there and I'm like, I have

1350
01:13:07,640 --> 01:13:09,960
Speaker 3: the money for the anesthesia and it was three hundred

1351
01:13:09,960 --> 01:13:12,200
Speaker 3: dollars for anist for the rope and all.

1352
01:13:12,320 --> 01:13:16,280
Speaker 1: Pope or whatever it is to get roofy. Great. I

1353
01:13:16,360 --> 01:13:20,720
Speaker 1: mean sorry, like that awesome going under it. It was

1354
01:13:20,840 --> 01:13:24,479
Speaker 1: great that part, that part and uh and.

1355
01:13:24,600 --> 01:13:26,400
Speaker 3: This and they're like, oh yeah, I I brought my

1356
01:13:26,479 --> 01:13:27,960
Speaker 3: check book and they're like okay, make it out.

1357
01:13:27,880 --> 01:13:30,120
Speaker 2: To this and just written make it out to nineteen

1358
01:13:30,200 --> 01:13:31,080
Speaker 2: eighty seven.

1359
01:13:33,520 --> 01:13:37,000
Speaker 1: Tip tip tip top anesthesia.

1360
01:13:38,920 --> 01:13:44,720
Speaker 3: Oh my god, you know, I'd like he said he

1361
01:13:44,840 --> 01:13:46,360
Speaker 3: did the whole thing where he's just like he's like,

1362
01:13:46,360 --> 01:13:47,920
Speaker 3: all right, I'm gonna do this thing that's gonna send.

1363
01:13:47,960 --> 01:13:49,479
Speaker 3: But Bubby asked me all these questions first, and then

1364
01:13:49,520 --> 01:13:50,680
Speaker 3: he's like, you're ready to You're ready to go, and

1365
01:13:50,720 --> 01:13:53,040
Speaker 3: I'm like right now. He just goes and I was

1366
01:13:53,120 --> 01:13:57,040
Speaker 3: just like yeah, in like five seconds, yeah, and then

1367
01:13:57,160 --> 01:13:58,000
Speaker 3: just like over.

1368
01:13:58,400 --> 01:14:00,920
Speaker 1: So I go in and I am very odd in

1369
01:14:00,960 --> 01:14:02,720
Speaker 1: that when I'm in a hospital actually calm down a

1370
01:14:02,760 --> 01:14:04,960
Speaker 1: lot because I'm like, I just go. I hope they

1371
01:14:05,000 --> 01:14:06,680
Speaker 1: know what they're doing. I believe they know what they're doing.

1372
01:14:06,960 --> 01:14:07,360
Speaker 2: Here we go.

1373
01:14:08,000 --> 01:14:09,920
Speaker 1: And so I go in and the anisites all just

1374
01:14:10,000 --> 01:14:13,160
Speaker 1: a sixty year old man. He's really funny, he's really nice.

1375
01:14:13,360 --> 01:14:15,599
Speaker 1: The nurses are dead serious, but there's tons of people

1376
01:14:15,600 --> 01:14:18,120
Speaker 1: around and they get me all wired up and tubed

1377
01:14:18,200 --> 01:14:21,800
Speaker 1: up and everything. And you've probably heard la people talk

1378
01:14:21,800 --> 01:14:24,160
Speaker 1: about the rain this year. It was crazy. Like Kurt

1379
01:14:24,160 --> 01:14:27,600
Speaker 1: and I now say, it's like grandma's mohawk. If your

1380
01:14:27,600 --> 01:14:29,880
Speaker 1: grandma gets a mohawk. You're gonna talk about it. Yeah,

1381
01:14:30,560 --> 01:14:32,680
Speaker 1: we've all seen mohawks. Many people here have probably had

1382
01:14:32,720 --> 01:14:34,720
Speaker 1: a mohawk. But if my grandmother gets one, I'm gonna

1383
01:14:34,720 --> 01:14:36,720
Speaker 1: be like, my grandma's got a fucking mohawk. Yeah, and

1384
01:14:36,840 --> 01:14:38,479
Speaker 1: she's never had a mohawk before.

1385
01:14:38,560 --> 01:14:42,679
Speaker 3: And then she continually, maybe thirty one times in four months,

1386
01:14:43,080 --> 01:14:45,679
Speaker 3: continually shaves it back into a mohawk.

1387
01:14:45,840 --> 01:14:47,479
Speaker 1: You're gonna fucking talk about it, all right.

1388
01:14:47,560 --> 01:14:48,479
Speaker 2: That's rain in La.

1389
01:14:48,560 --> 01:14:53,439
Speaker 3: It's Grandma's only one atmospheric rivers in a place that's

1390
01:14:53,600 --> 01:14:54,400
Speaker 3: dry as hell.

1391
01:14:57,080 --> 01:15:03,479
Speaker 1: So yeah, so we go and the nurses are doing

1392
01:15:03,520 --> 01:15:04,920
Speaker 1: everything and he puts the you know, I have the

1393
01:15:04,960 --> 01:15:07,120
Speaker 1: ivy in. He's like, okay, you know, let me check

1394
01:15:07,160 --> 01:15:09,000
Speaker 1: your teeth, make sure you don't drop your meth on

1395
01:15:09,000 --> 01:15:09,320
Speaker 1: the street.

1396
01:15:09,320 --> 01:15:10,120
Speaker 2: And I was like, no problem.

1397
01:15:10,680 --> 01:15:13,559
Speaker 1: And so then he's like, now you can turn your side,

1398
01:15:13,760 --> 01:15:15,240
Speaker 1: but you do you have the gout on. He turned

1399
01:15:15,240 --> 01:15:18,960
Speaker 1: your side and he goes, Scotty, have a great nap,

1400
01:15:19,400 --> 01:15:22,400
Speaker 1: and as he says that, every phone in the hospital

1401
01:15:22,439 --> 01:15:29,400
Speaker 1: starts alarming. Every single there's like four nurses. They are

1402
01:15:29,400 --> 01:15:31,040
Speaker 1: all their phones in their pockets, so, you know, like

1403
01:15:31,040 --> 01:15:32,960
Speaker 1: an amber alert or a gray alert or whatever.

1404
01:15:33,200 --> 01:15:36,160
Speaker 2: It's like dank dang all. So I'm about to go under.

1405
01:15:39,080 --> 01:15:41,360
Speaker 1: That's the last he hits it, and that he goes,

1406
01:15:41,400 --> 01:15:43,920
Speaker 1: Scotty have a great nap, and I go and then

1407
01:15:43,920 --> 01:15:49,880
Speaker 1: it goes in every direction, and I said, great.

1408
01:15:49,760 --> 01:15:50,680
Speaker 2: Butt alert.

1409
01:15:55,400 --> 01:15:56,439
Speaker 1: Out and that.

1410
01:16:01,080 --> 01:16:08,439
Speaker 3: Thank you everybody, guys, you have been absolutely fantastic. Let's

1411
01:16:08,560 --> 01:16:12,439
Speaker 3: end this episode with you guys yelling bananas as loud

1412
01:16:12,479 --> 01:16:14,480
Speaker 3: as you can, as loud.

1413
01:16:14,280 --> 01:16:14,880
Speaker 2: As you can.

1414
01:16:15,439 --> 01:16:23,600
Speaker 1: One, two, three, We'll see you guys outside. Thank you

1415
01:16:23,720 --> 01:16:26,240
Speaker 1: so much, night, thank you, good night.

1416
01:16:36,040 --> 01:16:38,559
Speaker 2: Bananas is an exactly right media production.

1417
01:16:38,720 --> 01:16:42,240
Speaker 1: Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine. The catchy Bananas

1418
01:16:42,280 --> 01:16:45,320
Speaker 1: theme song was composed and performed by Kahon. Artwork for

1419
01:16:45,439 --> 01:16:49,480
Speaker 1: Bananas was designed by Travis Millard and our benevolent overlords

1420
01:16:49,520 --> 01:16:51,880
Speaker 1: are the great Karen Kilgareff and Georgia Hart Start

1421
01:16:52,000 --> 01:16:54,759
Speaker 3: And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot

1422
01:16:54,880 --> 01:16:55,280
Speaker 3: intern