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Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Hi, is this a gag?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Who's this?

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Speaker 1: You can call me snail?

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Speaker 2: Snail? How are you, Snail?

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Speaker 1: I'm great?

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Speaker 2: How are you? I'm a gecko on the computer.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I can tell. Okay, so we're here today.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to talk to you about my life as

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Speaker 1: an adult baby. I don't know, kind of a taboo subject.

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Speaker 2: But what do you mean by adult baby?

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Speaker 1: So in my free time, I dress up as a baby.

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Speaker 1: I have a a daddy currently, and I specifically wanted

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Speaker 1: to talk to you about I went to a convention

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Speaker 1: for adult babies.

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Speaker 2: Interesting, So you dress I have a bunch of questions

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Speaker 2: for you. So you dress up as a base?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Like what is what is the attire? Exactly? It's

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Speaker 2: a diaper, it's what is it?

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Speaker 1: Everything? Yeah? Diaper? You got onesies, you got you know,

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Speaker 1: cute looking shirts you got you know, you got the pacifier,

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Speaker 1: you got the bottle everything.

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Speaker 2: Okay. So and your daddy, who? Who? Who is your daddy?

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Speaker 2: What does he wear? In the equation?

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Speaker 1: So he's about you have like two hours away from me,

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Speaker 1: so I don't get to see him all that often,

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Speaker 1: but my school is close to him. So every time

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Speaker 1: I go to school. I will visit him and we uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, he'll just kind of take care of me,

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Speaker 1: make me feel good. I get a little little teased

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Speaker 1: by him. Yeah, it's like part of our dynamic.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: He he has a wife, and you know, she doesn't

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Speaker 1: seem to give a crap about the whole thing.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 1: I think she thinks it's cute. And they're probably amorous anyway,

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Speaker 1: so I don't think they really care.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, so is this a sex thing?

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Speaker 1: You know what in this current relationship? It is not,

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Speaker 1: because in terms of like sex stuff, I'm really only

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Speaker 1: into women, you know.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So if you have this relationship with this daddy

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Speaker 2: that is not sexual at.

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Speaker 1: All, not sexual at all. I think he wishes it

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Speaker 1: would be, but no, it isn't.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So I've I have a bunch of questions for you.

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Speaker 2: I want to know this kind of off the bat

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Speaker 2: mm hmm. And this is what everyone this is. And

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Speaker 2: you know this because I'm sure you've received a fair

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Speaker 2: amount of criticism to anyone that you've talked about this

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Speaker 2: with in your life. Is that accurate?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I had I had a group like it

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Speaker 1: was like me and like three friends. We had been

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Speaker 1: friends for like years and years, and I told a

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Speaker 1: couple of them, the whole group like, disown me, stop

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Speaker 1: talking to me.

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Speaker 2: So here's the main point of criticism. In my eyes,

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Speaker 2: I personally am a big fan of anyone can go

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Speaker 2: do anything that they want with their lives. You know,

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Speaker 2: you want to go dress up as a baby. It's

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Speaker 2: it is what it is. You know, live your life, man.

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Speaker 2: But I think the main point of contention is do

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Speaker 2: you see a a red flag in a guy who

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Speaker 2: is sexually interested in you dressing up as a child.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So that's like a huge point of contention in

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Speaker 1: this like community. I mean, and we do have a community.

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Speaker 1: You know, there's all these girls on Instagram who have

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Speaker 1: tens of thousands of followers and stuff like that, and

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Speaker 1: and it's it's a big talking point that like it's

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Speaker 1: brought up a lot, and you hear these people talking

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Speaker 1: about it on their accounts, and I guess you know,

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Speaker 1: the answer is, you know, as long as they're going

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Speaker 1: for an adult and the adult is consenting, then it

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Speaker 1: has nothing to do with children. Even though we are

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Speaker 1: acting out a childish role play, which I know, like

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Speaker 1: is a little I don't know, it's I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's tough.

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Speaker 2: It's I ahead, go ahead, go ahead, and I'll ask

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Speaker 2: my questions later. I want to hear what you have

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Speaker 2: to say.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I I just say that, you know. For me personally,

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Speaker 1: I love the feelings that come along with someone like

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Speaker 1: babying me, taking care of me, like making sure I'm

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Speaker 1: all right all the time, kind of looking after me

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Speaker 1: in a sort of way, making me feel small, making

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Speaker 1: me feel taken care of. But you know, I do

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Speaker 1: have this thought a lot of the time, like like

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Speaker 1: like you brought up of you know, is this guy

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Speaker 1: looking for a child, and like, I don't think that's

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Speaker 1: the case, because you know, what he's getting out of

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Speaker 1: it isn't like praying on a child's innocence. It's more like,

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Speaker 1: oh my, you know, my partner looks really cute dressed

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Speaker 1: up like this, and you know, I'm humiliating her. I'm

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Speaker 1: making her feel belittled like that kind of thing. It's

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Speaker 1: less about the baby aspect and more about the role play,

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Speaker 1: if you get what I mean.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I do get with you, man, It's more about

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Speaker 2: I mean, it's like a power play type of like

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Speaker 2: a role play. Yeah exactly, So has there ever been,

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Speaker 2: And I guess not even saying that this is saying something,

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Speaker 2: but I don't know, I'm curious what the answer is.

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Speaker 2: In this community, have there been people who have been

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Speaker 2: kind of outed as like, oh, this person actually is

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Speaker 2: a pedophile?

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, And I mean I just recently. It's

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Speaker 1: a big thing and it happens all the time, unfortunately,

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Speaker 1: because you know, there's a lot of people who are

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Speaker 1: are not pedophiles of course in this community. But what

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Speaker 1: ends up leading pedophiles here is they're like, oh, well,

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Speaker 1: I can't get my hands on a real child, I

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Speaker 1: guess I'll do with like second best, you know, and

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Speaker 1: this becomes their solution, and you know, eventually you kind

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Speaker 1: of they get outed somehow, like someone finds child porn

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Speaker 1: on their computer or something happens, you know, like but

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Speaker 1: I've heard I've heard definitely like a lot of stories

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Speaker 1: of that happening in the past, but you know, relatively rare,

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Speaker 1: but happens a good amount still.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And in this community, how often, uh are is

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Speaker 2: this subject talked.

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Speaker 1: About fairly fairly often? I would say, I mean, you know,

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Speaker 1: I was just talking like whenever I meet up with

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Speaker 1: my friends who are kind of in in this community,

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Speaker 1: like it comes up in our conversations. It's it's a

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Speaker 1: big I Like I was saying, a big point of

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Speaker 1: contention in this community, and like, you know a lot

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Speaker 1: of people end up talking about it on the big

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Speaker 1: abl Instagram accounts and all that sort of stuff.

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Speaker 2: What do you what do you? And I kind of

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Speaker 2: see for how you've explained it, what you get out

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Speaker 2: of it in terms of the dynamic, you know, feeling

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Speaker 2: like you're being taken care of. You know, what do

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Speaker 2: you what would you want people to know about this

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Speaker 2: that you think maybe they are misinformed.

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Speaker 4: About Okay, okay, Number one, the the whole idea, Like

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Speaker 4: when when people look at this community too often, the

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Speaker 4: perception is like these.

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Speaker 1: You know, kind of not very good looking, like white

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Speaker 1: guys who like to dress up like a baby, and

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Speaker 1: they look you know, they look terrible.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: You look at them in like these documentaries and videos

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Speaker 1: and stuff like this, and you look at them and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, I feel bad for this guy.

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Speaker 1: Like me, as a person of this community, I look

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Speaker 1: at him and I'm like, oh god, I feel sad

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Speaker 1: for him, you know, just because so many of them

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Speaker 1: don't seem to know how to act like a normal

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Speaker 1: human being, like outside of their kink. But also they're

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Speaker 1: just you know, they're struggling with loneliness because they have this,

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Speaker 1: and I you know, what I have to say is

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Speaker 1: like there are so many people who are not that

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Speaker 1: like stereotype of our community. There are many many like

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Speaker 1: beautiful women in this community, and like there's a ton

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Speaker 1: of trans people in this community. It's just it's so

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Speaker 1: much more diverse than the stuff that is put on

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Speaker 1: the internet about specifically our community.

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Speaker 2: Somebody in the chat and I try to read the

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Speaker 2: chat very often, but somebody in the chat right that

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Speaker 2: it's it's almost like wondering if furries are actually into

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Speaker 2: having sex with animals, where it's like, right, they are

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Speaker 2: most I assume most of them aren't, but the ones

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Speaker 2: at all, I mean, there's got to be a couple

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Speaker 2: of people in that community that do want to have

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Speaker 2: sex with foxes and shit.

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Speaker 1: Exactly. No, I think you're totally right on that point.

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Speaker 2: Like it's what I mean, is that like to you?

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Speaker 2: But but then to you, is that like I mean

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Speaker 2: is that scary to you?

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Speaker 5: Like?

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Speaker 2: Is that is I mean, how does that feel that

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Speaker 2: you're part of a community that is you know, you

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Speaker 2: know that you don't have malicious intentions and that the

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Speaker 2: people that you do this with don't have malicious intentions.

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Speaker 2: But how does it feel for you knowing that you're

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Speaker 2: so deeply entrenched in a community where something like that

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Speaker 2: happens all the time?

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Speaker 1: You know, I mean, it doesn't happen all the time,

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Speaker 1: like I said, like it's a part of our community,

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Speaker 1: but it's it's relatively rare, and you know, I take

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Speaker 1: comfort in knowing that I surround myself with good people

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Speaker 1: with good intentions, and like I think that I'm I'm

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Speaker 1: very good at sussing that kind of stuff out and

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Speaker 1: you know, knowing whether someone's like kind of a weirdo

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Speaker 1: or not. And and I feel like you can tell

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Speaker 1: with the I don't know, people always want to make

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Speaker 1: pedophilia like this uh hidden thing that suddenly gets discovered

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Speaker 1: about a person, But I don't know. My personal opinion

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Speaker 1: is like I feel like you can tell, you know,

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Speaker 1: like there's there's something off, and I feel like I

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Speaker 1: have a good sense of that sort of thing, so

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Speaker 1: it doesn't really bother me as much.

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Speaker 2: Do you ever poop your pants and have somebody clean it?

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Speaker 2: For you.

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Speaker 1: I have never had that happen personally. You know, I'm

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Speaker 1: not saying it wouldn't be an interesting experience. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I think it would be fun. I've never done that,

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Speaker 1: but I definitely have feed myself and had someone change me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, is it? Is it a to you? Is

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Speaker 2: it a big Is there a big step between peeing

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Speaker 2: yourself and pooping yourself? Like, is pooping yourself kind of

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Speaker 2: a different level?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, definitely, it's uh. I mean there's a lot

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Speaker 1: of people in this community who are like, oh, I

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Speaker 1: wear diapers, I see them and I do all that,

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Speaker 1: But you know, I would never poop myself. That's absolutely

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Speaker 1: disgusting and filthy. And like, I see where they're coming from.

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Speaker 2: And I understand why Why is pooping? Why is pooping?

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Speaker 2: Why is pooping yourself that much more disgusting than peeing yourself?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, in my mind, you know,

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Speaker 1: you're in as you're in as sterile. I mean, at

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Speaker 1: least as long as it's in your body, as soon

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Speaker 1: as it comes out, it's no longer sterile. But I

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Speaker 1: find you'urine to be much less. I don't know, And

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Speaker 1: like the thing about poop is that it it sticks everywhere.

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Speaker 1: It's absolutely disgusting. Like there's just there's a difference. You know,

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Speaker 1: Pete doesn't Pe doesn't smell like that. Pee doesn't like

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Speaker 1: stick to everything and like make things nasty, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean? Like poopa is just gross stuff. Man.

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Speaker 2: You know, I respect that you're willing to defend all

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Speaker 2: of your statements at U three. Yeah, you kind of

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Speaker 2: have to you at this Are there props and stuff?

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Speaker 2: Is there? Do you like shake up?

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Speaker 4: Oh?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, rattle and have a binkie and ship I have.

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Speaker 1: I think I have two rattles I have. I have

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Speaker 1: quite a collection of binkies and or pacifiers. I'd say

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Speaker 1: maybe like like twenty or thirty of those. I have

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Speaker 1: a big thing for for onesies I have. I've probably

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Speaker 1: about like somewhere in between ninety and one hundred and closet.

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Speaker 2: You have ninety onesies in your hunt I don't even have.

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Speaker 2: I don't I have like three of these gecko suits.

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Speaker 2: You have ninety onesies in your closets?

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Speaker 1: Yes, somewhere. I mean the last time I counted was

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Speaker 1: like a year and a half ago, and I was

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Speaker 1: at seventy two. So I'm guessing it's somewhere around there

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Speaker 1: now with what I've recrued over the last year and

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Speaker 1: a half.

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Speaker 2: How long have you been doing this for?

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Speaker 1: So I kind of yeah. My story is basically, I mean,

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Speaker 1: as a community, the ABDL community adult baby diaper lover

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Speaker 1: community is very you know, they're they're extremely good about

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Speaker 1: keeping miners out of the community to an extent where

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Speaker 1: they can almost be like really mean and like really

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Speaker 1: forceful about it, and so pretty much as soon as

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Speaker 1: I turned eighteen is when I started getting into all

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Speaker 1: this stuff because you know, I just there was so

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Speaker 1: much pushback and I felt like bad about getting involved

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Speaker 1: in things before I was actually an adult. But I

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Speaker 1: mean I learned around on like forums and stuff and

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Speaker 1: you know, looked at pictures, but I never actively became

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Speaker 1: a part of this community until I like turned eighteen.

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Speaker 2: What is it that drew you to want to be

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Speaker 2: doing this like as soon as you possibly could?

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Speaker 1: Well, I don't know quite where it came from, but

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Speaker 1: I just it started for me as like a diaper kink,

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Speaker 1: you know, when I turned I say, like when I

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Speaker 1: was in middle school, probably around like thirteen, fourteen years old,

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Speaker 1: I started to get into this this kink and like

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Speaker 1: that's where it started for me, and then like the

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Speaker 1: baby stuff came alongside of it. It didn't start with

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Speaker 1: the baby stuff. It was more of like I like diapers.

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Speaker 1: I think they're hot.

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Speaker 2: Interesting. Okay, I want to know about this convention because

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Speaker 2: I'm imagining a exhibition floor where there is some fucking

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Speaker 2: guy who like his whole like like there's like booths

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Speaker 2: and there's like a rattle booth where there's like all

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Speaker 2: these premium rattles that you can buy, and like all

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Speaker 2: these onesie exhibitors and like binky booths, and like there's

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Speaker 2: people who they make a living selling fucking binkies at

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Speaker 2: adult baby conventions all across America. Is that accurate? That's

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Speaker 2: what I'm imagining.

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Speaker 1: You're you're I would say you're halfway accurate. Like there's

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Speaker 1: I think the convention I went to, there was probably

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Speaker 1: about uh five or six vendors there and they're all

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Speaker 1: like they were all the convention doesn't do as much

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Speaker 1: of like the independence sellers. They do like the big ones.

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Speaker 1: So we had all the big players in the A

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Speaker 1: B d L world, which is like a by universe

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Speaker 1: tyker bowls rears well, so.

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Speaker 2: There are like there are like big you said, you

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Speaker 2: said the big players. There are big players that are

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Speaker 2: giant brands who specialize in creating baby products for adults.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, I'd say Rears is pretty much the biggest one.

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Speaker 1: They have a huge You look at their website, they

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Speaker 1: have a huge selection of different kind of diapers with different.

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Speaker 2: I need to look at this. What is this called?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's called uh it's r E A r Z

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Speaker 1: dot c A.

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Speaker 2: Dude, holy shit, this is a real this is a

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Speaker 2: real thing. There's like, well, there's they have they're having

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Speaker 2: a Black Friday sale right now. Plates? How they have bibs, bottles?

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Speaker 2: Do you drink out of a bottle and ship.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes? I mean it's not.

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Speaker 2: Calm out of a baby bottle.

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Speaker 1: I have never drank come out of a baby bottle.

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Speaker 2: Okay, what do you do at this convention? Like? What

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Speaker 2: are there panels? What? What's going on here?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? So there's they have what's called the playrooms. And

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Speaker 1: the playrooms are just like all these different little rooms

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Speaker 1: that are geared towards a different facet of like this lifestyle.

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Speaker 1: So you have like the toddler room, you have the

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Speaker 1: baby room, you have the like middle room and middles

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Speaker 1: are for an explanation, they're like they're they're like like

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Speaker 1: adult babies, but they like acting out more of like

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Speaker 1: a teenage role if that makes.

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Speaker 2: Sense, like like a braddy teen thing.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. And then there's like there's there's a room

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Speaker 1: for the furries. Of course, there's there is a large

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Speaker 1: furry presence in this community, so that you have they're

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Speaker 1: called the diaper fers or the baby furs or whatever,

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Speaker 1: and they have their own dedicated space. There's obviously like

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Speaker 1: a dark room where if you want to do like

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Speaker 1: BDSM stuff, you can go and do that there. And

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Speaker 1: they have like you know, people kind of walking around

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Speaker 1: the room making sure everyone's being safe.

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Speaker 2: Uh.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot of drugs and partying at these conventions,

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Speaker 1: even like the convention like owners, the people who run it,

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Speaker 1: they are they're constantly on drugs during these conventions.

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Speaker 2: It's crazy that kind that tracks that makes sense. That

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Speaker 2: makes a lot of sense to me. What kind of

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Speaker 2: drugs are these babies doing?

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Speaker 1: I say the most popular ones are like acid, a

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Speaker 1: lot of weed.

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Speaker 2: I cannot imagine being on ass and walking around and

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Speaker 2: seeing a bunch of adult babies running around that would

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Speaker 2: be that would be really intense.

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Speaker 1: It's it is really intense. I mean, like I remember

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Speaker 1: being on acid and just walking through these hallways and

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Speaker 1: like I think I had taken a little bit of

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Speaker 1: shrooms too, so the hallways like twisting around and there's

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Speaker 1: all these people just like walking around wearing diapers and

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Speaker 1: like doing baby shit. And then I think we kind

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Speaker 1: of ended up cordening ourselves off in this one room

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Speaker 1: and we stayed until in there until like one am

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Speaker 1: when they kicked us out. But we were playing in

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Speaker 1: like this ball pit, which is disgusting. You never go

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Speaker 1: in the ball pit at any convention, but especially in

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Speaker 1: diaper convention. That was a bad idea on our part.

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Speaker 1: It's probably how we got COVID the uh yeah, it

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Speaker 1: was just it was it was definitely an experience, and

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Speaker 1: when they ended up kicking us out of the room,

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Speaker 1: it felt that much more awful being on acid and

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Speaker 1: getting like basically kicked out of your like safe spot.

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Speaker 2: You know, well what you see what would be horrible

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Speaker 2: is is is I think it's one thing to be

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Speaker 2: in your diaper with your binkie and your rattle on

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Speaker 2: acid at the baby convention, but then getting kicked out

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Speaker 2: and now you're just on the streets in a diaper

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Speaker 2: with oh.

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Speaker 4: No, no no no, not not not kicked on the streets.

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Speaker 1: But kicked out of the just kicked out of the playrooms.

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Speaker 1: You know, they were like, okay, you can't be in

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Speaker 1: it here anymore.

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Speaker 2: Closing the pal They didn't playroom look like, is there

357
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Speaker 2: like a slide? Are there monkey bars? Is it like

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Speaker 2: is it actually like a playground?

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00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:20,199
Speaker 1: The one we were in, I think they called it

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Speaker 1: the toddler room, and it just had it was like

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Speaker 1: very simplistic. There were some like toys and shit scattered around,

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Speaker 1: some little like barriers you could put up these like

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Speaker 1: boam blocks, and then there was there was a giant

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Speaker 1: ball pit covered in like a what do you call it,

365
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Speaker 1: like a like a mesh curtain to kind of keep

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Speaker 1: the balls from getting out of the pit. There was

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Speaker 1: like a slide you could go down, like a little

368
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Speaker 1: slide that kind of had all these rolling I don't

369
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Speaker 1: know if you've ever seen one of those slides. The playground,

370
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Speaker 1: the house, all the little rollers that you slide down,

371
00:22:57,000 --> 00:23:00,280
Speaker 1: it's pretty interesting. But you know, all the room had

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Speaker 1: different stuff. Some of them had like actual furniture. There

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Speaker 1: was one room that had a giant or three giant

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Speaker 1: cribs in it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, three giant clibs.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Can you like rent I mean and like you and

378
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Speaker 2: your you guys can like do crib stuff.

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Speaker 1: You don't rent it. You just you just use it,

380
00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:31,440
Speaker 1: you know, like they let you use it.

381
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Speaker 2: But you know, you I really wonder, you know, at

382
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Speaker 2: every convention they have like the Allied security people who

383
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:41,639
Speaker 2: are like just hired to work whatever's going on at

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00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:45,800
Speaker 2: the convention center that weekend. I really wonder what their

385
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:47,439
Speaker 2: experience of all of this is.

386
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Speaker 1: So they the security they had hired for the convention

387
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:55,679
Speaker 1: were actually all people who had like volunteered from the

388
00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:59,479
Speaker 1: community to do the security. I mean, they had some

389
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:03,320
Speaker 1: like more officially trained security members, but they weren't going

390
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:06,200
Speaker 1: to be like stepping out and doing anything unless they

391
00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:12,919
Speaker 1: really had to. But you know, the the draw for

392
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:15,399
Speaker 1: them is if they become a security member, then they

393
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:18,080
Speaker 1: get to go to the convention for free, and they

394
00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:20,440
Speaker 1: basically you know, they worked like maybe half the day

395
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:22,640
Speaker 1: and then the other half they get to be part

396
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:28,240
Speaker 1: of the convention. But the hotel staff was actually really

397
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:33,600
Speaker 1: interesting because they were all this takes place at a

398
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:35,480
Speaker 1: hotel by the way, I don't know if I mentioned that,

399
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:38,679
Speaker 1: and you rent out. They rent out the entire hotel

400
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:43,920
Speaker 1: for this convention. But the hotel staff, you know, they

401
00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:47,879
Speaker 1: were basically the worst thing is they were told, you know,

402
00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:50,560
Speaker 1: if you're at all comfort uncomfortable with this, you don't

403
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:52,600
Speaker 1: have to work, and which you know, isn't bad. I

404
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:55,040
Speaker 1: think it's a good thing that they were given that choice.

405
00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:58,360
Speaker 1: But at the same time, that meant like three quarters

406
00:24:58,359 --> 00:25:01,080
Speaker 1: of the staff dipped out, So we were all stuck

407
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:10,160
Speaker 1: there with like, you know, seventy.

408
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:10,520
Speaker 2: Five percent of the staff dipped out.

409
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:14,200
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, definitely. They like they they totally left. They

410
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:16,000
Speaker 1: did not want to be a part of this convention

411
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:18,560
Speaker 1: if they didn't have to be, even though I think

412
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:23,360
Speaker 1: they were getting paid extra to do it, which is understandable,

413
00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:25,399
Speaker 1: you know, like if you're not into this thing, you

414
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:27,800
Speaker 1: might not want to go to a convention with a

415
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:33,480
Speaker 1: bunch of adult babies running around, you know. But there

416
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:36,040
Speaker 1: was this one staff member who actually got like really

417
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:39,199
Speaker 1: into the whole thing, and at one point we were

418
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:41,840
Speaker 1: all sitting in the convention hall. They were like, I

419
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:44,400
Speaker 1: think they were doing like the talent show we had

420
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:47,240
Speaker 1: like a talent show that was getting put on, and

421
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:50,800
Speaker 1: she came into the room with her with her hair

422
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:53,720
Speaker 1: in pigtails on a tricycle. This is one of the

423
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:59,639
Speaker 1: just this. The hotel staff came in riding into the

424
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:02,919
Speaker 1: room on this tricycle with her hair and pigtails, and

425
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:05,359
Speaker 1: everyone in the room was like, holy shit and started

426
00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:06,200
Speaker 1: clapping for her.

427
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:12,919
Speaker 2: This is an interesting thing that you're you're a part of.

428
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:19,240
Speaker 2: What's your name again, Snail, Snail, this is an interesting

429
00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:24,800
Speaker 2: thing that you're a part of here. I I don't know.

430
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:26,920
Speaker 2: I don't know how I feel about it, because I

431
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:33,280
Speaker 2: think I I I guess when you explained to me

432
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:40,199
Speaker 2: the idea that it's more about a power dynamic in

433
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:42,720
Speaker 2: the way that I'm pretty sure a lot of b

434
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:49,879
Speaker 2: DSM and non traditional sex things are, it makes sense.

435
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:52,439
Speaker 2: But I don't know. I don't even know if I

436
00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:58,040
Speaker 2: really have to give my opinion. But hmmm, is there

437
00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:00,840
Speaker 2: any other aspect of this that you feel we didn't

438
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:03,199
Speaker 2: cover that you you wanted to talk about, Snail?

439
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 1: I guess the one thing I wanted to say was like,

440
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:11,920
Speaker 1: I just you know, this was my first ever convention

441
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:15,440
Speaker 1: I had gone to, and you know, if you can

442
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:19,440
Speaker 1: picture it the kind of sheer awe I had when

443
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,520
Speaker 1: I was sitting in this room when we were doing

444
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:25,600
Speaker 1: like the opening ceremony for it. We're all sitting on

445
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:29,679
Speaker 1: the floor. There's probably there's there's literally like fifteen hundred

446
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:33,240
Speaker 1: people sitting in this convention hall, and they're all dressed

447
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:38,040
Speaker 1: like babies. And then these the kind of leaders of

448
00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 1: the convention who are dressed like camp counselors, get up

449
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:44,600
Speaker 1: on the stage and start like leading everything. You know,

450
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:47,560
Speaker 1: it felt like I was in like a like a

451
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:51,040
Speaker 1: lucid dream or something. It was. There was absolutely absurd.

452
00:27:52,080 --> 00:28:00,280
Speaker 2: What's the most fucked up thing you've seen at this convention? Like,

453
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:02,280
Speaker 2: did you see anyone like eat shit out of a

454
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:05,439
Speaker 2: guy's diaper? No?

455
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:08,280
Speaker 1: No, So there's like a lot of rules to kind

456
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:11,200
Speaker 1: of keep that stuff, Like no one's allowed to be

457
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:16,320
Speaker 1: shitting themselves in the public areas, Like you have to

458
00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:18,199
Speaker 1: do that in your own hotel room. If you're going

459
00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:22,040
Speaker 1: to do it, you can't like be doing that stuff,

460
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:23,919
Speaker 1: and you can't be like walking around in like a

461
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:26,639
Speaker 1: disgusting diaper that you haven't taken off in like twelve

462
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:27,560
Speaker 1: hours or something.

463
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:29,320
Speaker 6: You know, they have rules about it.

464
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:35,960
Speaker 1: I'd say the craziest thing I saw. We were on acid.

465
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 1: My friend, who doesn't speak English very well, kept like

466
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 1: saying she kept saying like, fuck machine party. She kept saying,

467
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:45,680
Speaker 1: fuck machine party. And I'm like, what are you talking about?

468
00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:50,840
Speaker 1: Fuck machine party. She took me up to this room,

469
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:55,280
Speaker 1: someone's hotel room, and we just kind of sat on

470
00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:59,200
Speaker 1: the floor and we were chatting, and in the background,

471
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:04,480
Speaker 1: this dominatrix is setting up this you know machine. It's

472
00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:07,160
Speaker 1: a fuck machine, which is basically just like a thrusting

473
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:15,080
Speaker 1: dildo machine, and the she keeps she's uh counting someone's

474
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:18,239
Speaker 1: ass with it, and she keeps saying, you like that,

475
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:21,280
Speaker 1: you little flat, You like that, you little whore. And

476
00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:23,720
Speaker 1: we're just sitting there on the floor, just like chatting,

477
00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:27,719
Speaker 1: minding our own business, and this crazy shit is happening

478
00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:31,320
Speaker 1: in the background, you know. And I didn't really think

479
00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:33,680
Speaker 1: about it all the time because I was on acid,

480
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:36,200
Speaker 1: But like, thinking back to it, that's like one of

481
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:38,520
Speaker 1: the craziest things I've ever been a part of.

482
00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:45,320
Speaker 2: You weren't thinking about it because you were on acid,

483
00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:47,080
Speaker 2: that would be all I was thinking about.

484
00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:51,320
Speaker 1: No, I was just I was sitting there. We were

485
00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:55,280
Speaker 1: chatting about stuff I glanced over occasionally, but like, I

486
00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:57,360
Speaker 1: think the conversation was more interesting.

487
00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:04,160
Speaker 2: Well, Snell, thanks for sharing this stuff. I feel like

488
00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:08,160
Speaker 2: you don't. It's that I don't assume that you have

489
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:12,360
Speaker 2: many opportunities to talk about this, uh in your life,

490
00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:18,920
Speaker 2: not at all? It Do you intentionally keep it a secret? Oh?

491
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:23,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely. I mean, like i'd say, you know, the

492
00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:25,840
Speaker 1: only people who know about this are my friends who

493
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:29,960
Speaker 1: are part of the community, or the one friend that

494
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:31,560
Speaker 1: I'm extremely close with.

495
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:37,960
Speaker 2: Do are you like, uh like, do you have a

496
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:43,400
Speaker 2: significant other at all? I don't, do you? Do you

497
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:47,920
Speaker 2: does your family know that you're into this? Uh?

498
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:51,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, My mom's kind of uh she's she's been in

499
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:57,320
Speaker 1: my house before and she'snooped around unfortunately, And I think

500
00:30:57,360 --> 00:30:59,400
Speaker 1: her take on it is she just doesn't even want

501
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 1: to talk about it to me, which is like understandable,

502
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:05,280
Speaker 1: but it is a little awkward that she knows about it.

503
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,600
Speaker 2: Does that make you like upset that she doesn't want

504
00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:14,600
Speaker 2: to talk about it or do you totally understand why

505
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:16,000
Speaker 2: she did not want to talk about it?

506
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:19,760
Speaker 1: Oh? I totally understand. And there's nothing I want less

507
00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:23,720
Speaker 1: than to have a conversation about this ship with my mom.

508
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:26,000
Speaker 2: I think that makes a lot of sense to me.

509
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 2: I don't think I mean what I you know, it's funny.

510
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:31,680
Speaker 2: I wouldn't want to talk to my mom about my

511
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:35,720
Speaker 2: regular vanilla sex life, let alone if it involved me

512
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:37,760
Speaker 2: dressing up as a baby.

513
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:39,760
Speaker 1: Exactly.

514
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:42,960
Speaker 2: Is there anything else that you want to say to

515
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 2: the people the computersnaiw.

516
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:50,920
Speaker 1: You know, diapers are great, man, give them a try.

517
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:52,680
Speaker 6: That's it.

518
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:56,280
Speaker 2: Thank you for calling and sharing, Snell. I appreciate it,

519
00:31:56,400 --> 00:32:00,160
Speaker 2: and good luck to you and all of your or

520
00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:02,400
Speaker 2: baby endeavors.

521
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 1: Thank you, Lyle. All Right, good night, good night.

522
00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:16,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm still I'm looking at this fucking website. Uh dude,

523
00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:19,520
Speaker 2: this is a whole. This is a hole, a rabbit

524
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:22,680
Speaker 2: hole of a thing that you could get into. I'm

525
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:26,520
Speaker 2: not here to give my opinion on, uh, you know,

526
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 2: the validity of whatever people are doing. It is interesting

527
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:41,600
Speaker 2: to think about there there's a whole convention of people.

528
00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:44,160
Speaker 2: I wonder what the average person there is like. And

529
00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:45,680
Speaker 2: I almost kind of wish I would have talked to

530
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:50,040
Speaker 2: Snail a little bit more, because it's like, is there

531
00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:54,520
Speaker 2: a kind of person that goes to adult baby conventions

532
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:58,360
Speaker 2: or or when you get down to it and you're

533
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:02,960
Speaker 2: actually there? Is it all all kinds of folks? Is

534
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:08,640
Speaker 2: it people who look like you know? Is it your coworkers,

535
00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:15,600
Speaker 2: is it your family? Is it your teacher? I don't know.

536
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 2: Although you could say the same thing about pedophiles. You

537
00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:23,200
Speaker 2: could say the same thing about pedophiles. What does one

538
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:30,320
Speaker 2: look like? Like a thin mustache and glasses? No, I

539
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:36,920
Speaker 2: guess they look like everyone. Anyway, let's take another call.

540
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:39,560
Speaker 1: Hello, well, Hi, how are you?

541
00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:43,600
Speaker 2: I'm good? How are you good?

542
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:45,680
Speaker 1: Is this Lyle? Yeah?

543
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:46,160
Speaker 2: Who's this?

544
00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:51,880
Speaker 3: Holy crap? Hi, I'm Allison. You sound really different on

545
00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:53,400
Speaker 3: the phone than need do on your stream.

546
00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:55,400
Speaker 2: What's going on? Allison?

547
00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:02,880
Speaker 3: Hi? So this year, last year, I actually spent Thanksgiving

548
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:04,040
Speaker 3: in a mental hospital.

549
00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:07,520
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, did they? Was it catered? Was there still?

550
00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:11,080
Speaker 2: Do they still like feed you turkey and mashed potatoes

551
00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:11,880
Speaker 2: and all that stuff?

552
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:13,720
Speaker 1: Yeah?

553
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:18,840
Speaker 3: Surprisingly, it was actually really fucking good, because like, mental

554
00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:24,960
Speaker 3: hospital food is really really really bad. But like, I

555
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:27,759
Speaker 3: don't know, they like they went all out for Thanksgiving Day.

556
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:30,399
Speaker 3: They had like the straight on. So we just sat

557
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:33,320
Speaker 3: around at eat turkey and did crosswords. It was great.

558
00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:37,000
Speaker 2: So you're saying the food is typically bad in the

559
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,759
Speaker 2: mental hospital but on Thanksgiving it was pretty good.

560
00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:44,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, like like shockingly good.

561
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:50,480
Speaker 2: Interesting. So you're saying that Thanksgiving in a mental hospital

562
00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:53,480
Speaker 2: could be even better than you know, just Thanksgiving at

563
00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:54,600
Speaker 2: my family's house.

564
00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:59,919
Speaker 3: One thousand percent. I So it was the first time

565
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:03,879
Speaker 3: in my twenty six years of life that I did

566
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:09,479
Speaker 3: not go home for Thanksgiving, and it was the best

567
00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:12,000
Speaker 3: Thanksgiving I've ever had, ironically enough.

568
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:13,520
Speaker 2: Interesting.

569
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:17,120
Speaker 3: So it kind of taught me, like, I don't have

570
00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:20,640
Speaker 3: to go home for family holidays if I don't want to.

571
00:35:22,719 --> 00:35:25,959
Speaker 2: Is that do you do you? I mean, these past

572
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:28,000
Speaker 2: twenty six years that you've been going that you've been

573
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:31,920
Speaker 2: being home for Thanksgiving, has that been against your will?

574
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:37,120
Speaker 2: Or have you know, how is your feeling of being home?

575
00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:40,759
Speaker 2: What is your feeling about about about going home?

576
00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:51,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, so it's complicated, it's yeah, it's kind of been

577
00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:54,960
Speaker 3: against my will. So I grew up on the West

578
00:35:55,000 --> 00:36:03,719
Speaker 3: Coast and I went to another state for college, and

579
00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:07,440
Speaker 3: my parents basically would get me a plane ticket and

580
00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:10,320
Speaker 3: say you're coming home and tell me when I was

581
00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:15,400
Speaker 3: coming home for Thanksgiving, just for any winter break that

582
00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:19,480
Speaker 3: they wanted me there. I wanted to do research and

583
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:21,799
Speaker 3: stay at the university in the former time, and they

584
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:24,200
Speaker 3: wouldn't let me. They said, we're not going to help

585
00:36:24,239 --> 00:36:26,400
Speaker 3: you with rent, and I lived in an area that

586
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:32,399
Speaker 3: was very expensive, so I essentially had to keep going home.

587
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:35,520
Speaker 3: And then I went to grad school completely on the

588
00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:41,640
Speaker 3: other coast in New York City, and they still wanted

589
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:43,359
Speaker 3: me home for those holidays, but it was a little

590
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:46,799
Speaker 3: bit easier to get away from going home. And then

591
00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:49,359
Speaker 3: now that I work full time and have a really

592
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:54,960
Speaker 3: really terrible vacation time, I literally can't and I mean

593
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:57,960
Speaker 3: it's a lot harder too. But the mental hospital thing

594
00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:01,399
Speaker 3: kind of solidified it for me last year. And now

595
00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:04,320
Speaker 3: this year, I'm not going back to Oregon for Thanksgiving.

596
00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:06,000
Speaker 1: I stopped.

597
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:08,360
Speaker 3: We get together once a year and go to a

598
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:11,239
Speaker 3: lake and I'm not in the summertime and I'm not

599
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:13,520
Speaker 3: going so did to go last year?

600
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:16,360
Speaker 2: So listen, So, so you're talking about how you know

601
00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:18,840
Speaker 2: you don't want to go because you want to, uh,

602
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:20,920
Speaker 2: you know, stay where you were and and do your

603
00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:24,040
Speaker 2: research and all that, But like, what is your relationship

604
00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:25,320
Speaker 2: like with your family?

605
00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:31,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, so my dad's abusive. There's not really any way

606
00:37:31,239 --> 00:37:38,000
Speaker 3: to sugarcoat that. I guess he's an alcoholic, he's extremely

607
00:37:38,719 --> 00:37:44,520
Speaker 3: manipulative and emotionally abusive, and some of these circumstances where

608
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:46,920
Speaker 3: a part of the reason I wasn't the mental healthpittal

609
00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:50,560
Speaker 3: is because I have like really bad PTSD from growing up,

610
00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:59,520
Speaker 3: anxiety depression, borderline personality disorder, and yeah, I just it's

611
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:02,600
Speaker 3: one of those weird dichotomies where no one ever told me.

612
00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:04,719
Speaker 3: He's like, hey, you don't have to have a real

613
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:06,080
Speaker 3: relationship with your father.

614
00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:07,879
Speaker 2: What about your mother?

615
00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:13,040
Speaker 3: I love her, I let her to pieces, but she

616
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:22,160
Speaker 3: basically enabled everything that happened, and so we're close. But

617
00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:27,160
Speaker 3: my therapist doesn't think that's for the best. So it's

618
00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:29,120
Speaker 3: kind of a complicated situation there.

619
00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:31,680
Speaker 2: What did your what did your therapists have to say

620
00:38:31,680 --> 00:38:32,359
Speaker 2: about all of this?

621
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:36,400
Speaker 3: She thinks it's great. She's been trying to get me

622
00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:43,360
Speaker 3: to like avoid my family for years, She's I've so

623
00:38:43,719 --> 00:38:46,839
Speaker 3: I've been with my therapist for about three years now.

624
00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:49,680
Speaker 3: She's the one that finally got me the diagnoses that

625
00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:53,880
Speaker 3: I needed because I've been mentally ill for like a

626
00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:57,319
Speaker 3: really long time, very very sick for a very long time,

627
00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:03,000
Speaker 3: and I haven't any progress in my life until my

628
00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:06,560
Speaker 3: lowest point last year, when I finally started creating distance

629
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:07,920
Speaker 3: between myself and my family.

630
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:13,520
Speaker 2: And so when's the last time, as of today that

631
00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:15,920
Speaker 2: you talked to your family?

632
00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:22,840
Speaker 3: Actually, yesterday my uncle had a heart attack, my dad's brother,

633
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:29,400
Speaker 3: and it was one of those situations where I was like, Okay,

634
00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:32,880
Speaker 3: I need to be I had that self imposed like

635
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:36,279
Speaker 3: I need to be a good daughter and call and

636
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:39,759
Speaker 3: so just kind of checked in on that.

637
00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:43,879
Speaker 2: Do you have siblings at all?

638
00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:46,480
Speaker 1: I do, ye?

639
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:49,880
Speaker 2: And what's your relationship like with the siblings?

640
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:53,440
Speaker 3: Used to be really bad. Now we're really close. My

641
00:39:53,480 --> 00:40:00,560
Speaker 3: brother is actually getting married next month, and so yeah,

642
00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:05,080
Speaker 3: he and his fiance, they've been together for about eleven years.

643
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:09,239
Speaker 3: He got out and actually started improving his mental health

644
00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:13,920
Speaker 3: when he moved away as well for my parents, and

645
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:16,520
Speaker 3: he doesn't go home for holidays.

646
00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:18,959
Speaker 2: Either, so he cut off the family like a little

647
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:22,000
Speaker 2: bit before you did. And in terms of his timeline. Yeah,

648
00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:26,200
Speaker 2: And now, because it's interesting because you said now that

649
00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:28,520
Speaker 2: he's getting married and you're could I assume you're going

650
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:30,520
Speaker 2: to a wedding And I was thinking, I was like, oh,

651
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:31,800
Speaker 2: I hope the parents aren't going to be at the

652
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:34,520
Speaker 2: wedding because that would be a conflict. But it sounds like,

653
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:36,000
Speaker 2: that's not something you're gonna have to worry about.

654
00:40:38,239 --> 00:40:41,200
Speaker 3: No, he hasn't like quite cut them out, cut them out.

655
00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:42,960
Speaker 3: He just has a healthier distance.

656
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:45,840
Speaker 2: Okay, So are they going to be at the wedding?

657
00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:50,239
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, okay. And so to that point, what you

658
00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:54,280
Speaker 2: just said, cutting them off versus a healthy distance, where

659
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:56,560
Speaker 2: are is that sort of how you're looking at it,

660
00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:58,640
Speaker 2: Like you're trying to keep a healthy distance but not

661
00:40:58,719 --> 00:40:59,879
Speaker 2: necessarily cut them off.

662
00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:06,400
Speaker 3: That's kind of where I'm at. Yeah, I think I

663
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:10,319
Speaker 3: think I'm scared of the idea of cutting them off.

664
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:14,080
Speaker 3: I did have a conversation with my mom about a

665
00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:19,360
Speaker 3: month ago where I basically like laid everything out and

666
00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:22,960
Speaker 3: I was like, look like, I don't want to be ungrateful,

667
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:26,560
Speaker 3: I don't want to be that daughter. But dad is abusive.

668
00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:31,760
Speaker 3: You know it, I know it. It's kind of a fact.

669
00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:35,400
Speaker 3: And I finally got hurt to say like, okay, like

670
00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:40,600
Speaker 3: I won't pressure you to come home anymore. And I

671
00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:45,560
Speaker 3: was really grateful for that, I guess. So basically from

672
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 3: then on out, like that conversation out, my muntal health's

673
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:53,319
Speaker 3: got a lot better, my therapist is really happy. I'm

674
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:57,560
Speaker 3: really proud of that conversation, and I just the only

675
00:41:57,600 --> 00:42:00,359
Speaker 3: time that I've talked to him since then was just say, hey,

676
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:03,120
Speaker 3: I'm sorry. You know, our uncle had a heart attack.

677
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:06,359
Speaker 3: You know, I hope he's doing better. Just drive safe

678
00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:07,319
Speaker 3: when you go to see him.

679
00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:13,120
Speaker 2: And so, So, has this overall been a difficult process

680
00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:16,880
Speaker 2: to you? I mean it kind of sounds like something

681
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:20,440
Speaker 2: that you've been working on doing for a while.

682
00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:26,840
Speaker 3: Yeah. I didn't know why. I've always had that question,

683
00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:29,160
Speaker 3: like why am I like this? Like why am I

684
00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:37,000
Speaker 3: so depressed and sad? And I didn't really piece it

685
00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:40,920
Speaker 3: together until like really recently in my life it's like, oh,

686
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:48,440
Speaker 3: I have like severe familial trauma, and like it's really

687
00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:53,439
Speaker 3: is as simple as creating my own life. There's a

688
00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:55,880
Speaker 3: portion of time where I thought, Okay, well, if anything

689
00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:58,040
Speaker 3: happens my mom, I'm just going to end my life

690
00:42:58,040 --> 00:43:01,080
Speaker 3: because I don't want to live without her, which is

691
00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:07,160
Speaker 3: obviously really unhealthy and not like a productive thing for

692
00:43:07,920 --> 00:43:13,200
Speaker 3: you know, someone to be kind of thinking. And I

693
00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:17,399
Speaker 3: this time last year, I was just like I kind

694
00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:19,640
Speaker 3: of tried to end my life. I just wasn't having

695
00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:23,239
Speaker 3: a great time. I didn't want to live anymore. And

696
00:43:23,640 --> 00:43:27,959
Speaker 3: I put my foot down. I didn't go. I didn't

697
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:30,560
Speaker 3: have to go see my family. My mom did come

698
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:32,920
Speaker 3: and stay with me for a little bit because I

699
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:36,960
Speaker 3: was very, very very sick for a while, just to

700
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:39,840
Speaker 3: help me, like get things done around the house. But

701
00:43:41,239 --> 00:43:45,239
Speaker 3: I got friends, I adopted some pets, I quit my job,

702
00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:49,120
Speaker 3: got a new job, and just started living the life

703
00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:50,760
Speaker 3: that I've always wanted for myself.

704
00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:56,560
Speaker 2: And so it's great to hear. Man. I was gonna

705
00:43:56,560 --> 00:44:01,200
Speaker 2: ask you, uh, like before we go, what your uh

706
00:44:02,680 --> 00:44:06,360
Speaker 2: what is your sort of social circle look like? Now?

707
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:09,839
Speaker 2: Do you do you have a lot of you said

708
00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:11,759
Speaker 2: you have a lot of friends. Are you able to

709
00:44:12,239 --> 00:44:16,000
Speaker 2: kind of like, you know, do you have people in

710
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:20,880
Speaker 2: your life that you know you can you can be

711
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:24,880
Speaker 2: with or you know, are you are you living a

712
00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:32,000
Speaker 2: life that that is does not feel like it's void

713
00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:37,760
Speaker 2: of of whatever was you know, a family might provide

714
00:44:38,120 --> 00:44:39,000
Speaker 2: if that makes sense.

715
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:43,959
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, thank you for asking. I it's the first

716
00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:46,400
Speaker 3: time in my life that I actually have friends that,

717
00:44:46,880 --> 00:44:52,200
Speaker 3: like I think would be there for me. So yeah,

718
00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:55,960
Speaker 3: I've got I found it. I was really lonely for

719
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,000
Speaker 3: a while because I didn't know anyone in the feat

720
00:44:58,120 --> 00:45:00,440
Speaker 3: and so I went on meetup dot com and I

721
00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:05,640
Speaker 3: found a couple of meetup groups. Yeah, amazing circle that way.

722
00:45:05,719 --> 00:45:10,879
Speaker 3: I recommend anyone everyone yeah is your best friend.

723
00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:16,319
Speaker 2: And so yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I love that. That's

724
00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:18,560
Speaker 2: my that's I love hearing you say that.

725
00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:19,640
Speaker 3: Uh.

726
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:23,920
Speaker 2: For a lot of reasons. Uh, and I hope uh.

727
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:26,360
Speaker 2: This is not an ad for meetup dot com. But

728
00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:29,959
Speaker 2: it also it's an official it's an unofficial one because

729
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:36,200
Speaker 2: I have a very strong belief that, like you know,

730
00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:42,120
Speaker 2: there are so many doomer takes about the Internet, which

731
00:45:42,280 --> 00:45:46,200
Speaker 2: a lot of them are pretty fucking valid, I'll say that,

732
00:45:46,640 --> 00:45:49,640
Speaker 2: but it's here to stay, and there's a lot of

733
00:45:49,640 --> 00:45:52,399
Speaker 2: prose to it, which is that the world is more

734
00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:56,640
Speaker 2: interconnected than ever before. And so if you're you know,

735
00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:59,640
Speaker 2: brave enough and willing enough to take the initiative as

736
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:03,920
Speaker 2: you did, to go on the Internet and go to

737
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:06,640
Speaker 2: one of these you know, websites like meetup dot com

738
00:46:06,760 --> 00:46:10,200
Speaker 2: or uh like even like Facebook groups and ship like that. Like,

739
00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:17,239
Speaker 2: you know, they're for anyone who's willing to take the

740
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:21,760
Speaker 2: jump of putting themselves out there. Uh. The the tools

741
00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:26,240
Speaker 2: exist to do that. You know. It's it's less about

742
00:46:26,320 --> 00:46:29,240
Speaker 2: the the how and more about the gusto to actually

743
00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:30,759
Speaker 2: go and do it. And I'm glad that you had that,

744
00:46:30,840 --> 00:46:35,120
Speaker 2: you had that gusto to, you know, go go find

745
00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:38,279
Speaker 2: find a group and and and show up to the

746
00:46:38,320 --> 00:46:41,240
Speaker 2: place and say hi and and that and then everything

747
00:46:41,280 --> 00:46:43,400
Speaker 2: worked out for you because that's a tough thing to do.

748
00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:45,440
Speaker 2: I assume you went up. I assume you went to

749
00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:47,920
Speaker 2: this meetup group alone to meet these people. Is that?

750
00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:48,920
Speaker 2: Is that accurate?

751
00:46:50,400 --> 00:46:50,640
Speaker 4: Yeah?

752
00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:54,320
Speaker 3: I did Facebook groups too, I'm help. My My biggest

753
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:58,200
Speaker 3: thing is I have really bad social anxiety. My trick

754
00:46:58,239 --> 00:47:01,560
Speaker 3: before going to if you're the same way, is on

755
00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:04,280
Speaker 3: the way, stop to get yourself a coffee. Practice talking

756
00:47:04,320 --> 00:47:06,720
Speaker 3: to the brista and ordering your coffee and just remind

757
00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:09,400
Speaker 3: yourself that talking to people is just like ordering a coffee.

758
00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:15,120
Speaker 2: Mm hmmmm hmmm hmm. Well, congratulations, Allison. I'm really stoked

759
00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:19,759
Speaker 2: to hear that, and I'm yeah, yeah, I love I

760
00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:23,719
Speaker 2: love the whole thing of of like going out of

761
00:47:23,719 --> 00:47:26,480
Speaker 2: your way to make new friends because it's a tough

762
00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:28,680
Speaker 2: thing to do, and you know, I get a lot

763
00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:30,600
Speaker 2: of calls about it, and it's something that I think

764
00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:35,279
Speaker 2: about a lot in my own life too. Of Like,

765
00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:37,600
Speaker 2: you know, if I moved to a new place or

766
00:47:37,680 --> 00:47:39,319
Speaker 2: did a new thing or whatever, like, how would I

767
00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:44,480
Speaker 2: go about trying to meet people? So kudos to you, Allison.

768
00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:45,880
Speaker 2: Is there anything else that you want to say to

769
00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:49,520
Speaker 2: the people of the computer before we go, Yeah.

770
00:47:49,400 --> 00:47:51,560
Speaker 3: Thank you so much. While I just want to wish

771
00:47:51,600 --> 00:47:55,919
Speaker 3: everyone a happy holidays. Oh and I want to say

772
00:47:56,680 --> 00:47:59,160
Speaker 3: you had an interview a while back about this person

773
00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:01,719
Speaker 3: that worked at RBS and Chop Chicken and Chop Chicken Land.

774
00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:06,680
Speaker 3: I want to say that I use that phrase with

775
00:48:06,719 --> 00:48:11,680
Speaker 3: my therapist now all the time. I want to say

776
00:48:11,719 --> 00:48:14,200
Speaker 3: that that thank you for what you do, Like that

777
00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:17,359
Speaker 3: really positively affected me and gave me tools to talk

778
00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:18,240
Speaker 3: about how I'm feeling.

779
00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:20,279
Speaker 2: So I'm very sorry.

780
00:48:21,080 --> 00:48:22,160
Speaker 3: What holidays.

781
00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:25,520
Speaker 2: Hey you too, man, you take care all right?

782
00:48:25,560 --> 00:48:26,319
Speaker 3: Thank you as well.

783
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:30,719
Speaker 2: I know, uh, that was a great call. Yeah, the

784
00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:35,759
Speaker 2: the that was really cool. I liked that she she

785
00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:41,759
Speaker 2: really had an ARC to her that is inspiring. I mean,

786
00:48:42,360 --> 00:48:45,920
Speaker 2: I I I love I love any call that starts

787
00:48:45,960 --> 00:48:50,600
Speaker 2: with you know, I was in the hospital and I

788
00:48:50,719 --> 00:48:55,400
Speaker 2: was depressed, and you know, things were pretty shitty, and

789
00:48:55,640 --> 00:48:59,120
Speaker 2: ends with you know. Now I have all these friends

790
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:03,480
Speaker 2: and I'm working out on things in a positive way.

791
00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:08,200
Speaker 2: And I just said now that I love calls where

792
00:49:08,239 --> 00:49:10,439
Speaker 2: people talk about being in the hospital. Maybe that came

793
00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:12,040
Speaker 2: off wrong, but you guys know what I'm trying to

794
00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:18,160
Speaker 2: say here. Yeah, I said it a thousand times as well.

795
00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:23,480
Speaker 2: Reiterate like she really took the initiative of like it

796
00:49:23,560 --> 00:49:26,839
Speaker 2: can be so easy to sit at home and not

797
00:49:27,680 --> 00:49:31,480
Speaker 2: want to put yourself out there because it's scary, but

798
00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:35,000
Speaker 2: she did it anyway and it worked. You know, I

799
00:49:35,040 --> 00:49:36,359
Speaker 2: wasn't when I mean she said she had a bunch

800
00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:38,480
Speaker 2: of friends. Now, I wasn't expecting it to like have

801
00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:45,640
Speaker 2: been from such a place of like her taking her

802
00:49:45,680 --> 00:49:48,279
Speaker 2: own initiative to do it. Like you know, sometimes your

803
00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:51,240
Speaker 2: your circle of friends just happens naturally if you're lucky,

804
00:49:51,640 --> 00:49:53,719
Speaker 2: and then other times you got to you know, do

805
00:49:53,800 --> 00:49:58,919
Speaker 2: the work to go form it. So shout out to her, Hey,

806
00:50:00,719 --> 00:50:01,200
Speaker 2: what's up?

807
00:50:02,440 --> 00:50:06,680
Speaker 6: Hey, how you doing, buddy? I want to just preface

808
00:50:06,719 --> 00:50:09,000
Speaker 6: and apologize in advance to the audience if they hear

809
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:13,359
Speaker 6: me like moaning and groaning actually going through an incredible

810
00:50:13,400 --> 00:50:16,600
Speaker 6: amount of pain passing kidney stones right now. So that's

811
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:18,480
Speaker 6: that's kind of why I wanted to call it, just

812
00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:22,000
Speaker 6: to distract myself and get my mind off the pain

813
00:50:22,040 --> 00:50:25,120
Speaker 6: as much as possible, and rant a little bit about

814
00:50:25,719 --> 00:50:30,200
Speaker 6: America's healthcare system here because it's not been true to

815
00:50:30,200 --> 00:50:32,760
Speaker 6: me the best.

816
00:50:32,960 --> 00:50:35,359
Speaker 2: So the fact that you want to take your mind

817
00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:37,280
Speaker 2: off the pain, does that mean I should not ask

818
00:50:37,360 --> 00:50:38,560
Speaker 2: you about the kidney stones?

819
00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:41,640
Speaker 6: No? No, please do. It's just like to do something

820
00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:44,560
Speaker 6: other than just lay there shaking in pain as a

821
00:50:44,640 --> 00:50:45,520
Speaker 6: huge plus.

822
00:50:46,160 --> 00:50:48,960
Speaker 2: So the kidney stone, that's when you're like peeing rocks

823
00:50:48,960 --> 00:50:51,440
Speaker 2: out of your penis, right, So.

824
00:50:51,480 --> 00:50:53,719
Speaker 6: Yeah, what happens is you get some kind of build up.

825
00:50:53,760 --> 00:50:58,480
Speaker 6: It's usually like calcium or some other material that you're

826
00:50:58,760 --> 00:51:01,839
Speaker 6: kidney's I get. I believe they naturally produce somebody you

827
00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:05,440
Speaker 6: have like an overproduction. And then so a lot of

828
00:51:05,440 --> 00:51:07,359
Speaker 6: people this is like, this is the third time I've

829
00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:10,880
Speaker 6: dealt with this, and this time it's taking I've been

830
00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:14,399
Speaker 6: passing them for three days now, and the first two

831
00:51:14,640 --> 00:51:18,160
Speaker 6: instances they passed within the day. So this is just

832
00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:21,279
Speaker 6: like prolonged health. But a lot of people think that

833
00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:24,640
Speaker 6: the painful part is when it comes out like your peel,

834
00:51:24,880 --> 00:51:28,719
Speaker 6: and that's literally the least painful part of kidney stones.

835
00:51:28,719 --> 00:51:31,840
Speaker 6: It's when it's actually exiting the kidney and the stone

836
00:51:31,880 --> 00:51:35,560
Speaker 6: goes into something called the urorder, and the order connects

837
00:51:35,560 --> 00:51:38,480
Speaker 6: the kidney to the bladder, and then I guess once

838
00:51:38,480 --> 00:51:39,920
Speaker 6: it's in the bladder, you're kind of like in the

839
00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:42,799
Speaker 6: home stretch, but you do get like a lot of

840
00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:45,359
Speaker 6: blood in your ear and depend on depending on the

841
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:49,440
Speaker 6: size of the stone. But yeah, I waited like a

842
00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:52,560
Speaker 6: whole day thinking I was just gonna pass it from

843
00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:54,720
Speaker 6: home because, like I said, tod ate my first rodeo,

844
00:51:55,600 --> 00:51:59,160
Speaker 6: and the pain just kept intensifying, intensifying. I finally told

845
00:51:59,160 --> 00:52:00,840
Speaker 6: my wife, I'm like, you know, we gotta go to

846
00:52:00,840 --> 00:52:04,759
Speaker 6: the e R. And got admitted and luckily they were,

847
00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:06,960
Speaker 6: you know, really quick to get me into bed and

848
00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:12,719
Speaker 6: start getting pain meds something to me. But they did

849
00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:17,240
Speaker 6: like a CT scan, X ray, blood were e KG,

850
00:52:17,600 --> 00:52:24,840
Speaker 6: all kinds of tests and sorry and hurts.

851
00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:26,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, it sounds like you're not.

852
00:52:28,239 --> 00:52:32,799
Speaker 6: It's not at all asle It's I wouldn't wish this

853
00:52:32,840 --> 00:52:36,200
Speaker 6: on my worst enemy. Honestly, It's like I talk to women,

854
00:52:36,719 --> 00:52:38,040
Speaker 6: Oh no, dude, it's.

855
00:52:38,120 --> 00:52:40,280
Speaker 2: Who's who's your who's your worst enemy? Devon?

856
00:52:43,960 --> 00:52:46,680
Speaker 6: Luckily I don't have many. I'm kind of keep to myself.

857
00:52:46,800 --> 00:52:49,960
Speaker 2: Uh so, if you've never had a worst enemy, how

858
00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:52,239
Speaker 2: do you know that you wouldn't wish this on them?

859
00:52:53,760 --> 00:52:54,959
Speaker 6: That's fair, that's fair.

860
00:52:55,480 --> 00:52:59,480
Speaker 2: I say, wait until I say you wait until somebody

861
00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:02,839
Speaker 2: really fucking crosses you. I guess your worst enemy would

862
00:53:02,840 --> 00:53:08,960
Speaker 2: be the kidney stones themselves. Would you wish that like

863
00:53:09,200 --> 00:53:12,400
Speaker 2: the kidney Would you wish kidney stones upon kidney stones?

864
00:53:14,880 --> 00:53:17,480
Speaker 6: That's fair? Yeah, you know what, those those guys can

865
00:53:18,080 --> 00:53:19,759
Speaker 6: get a taste of their own medicine for once, and.

866
00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:22,600
Speaker 2: Maybe so you would wish it upon your worst I.

867
00:53:23,239 --> 00:53:28,600
Speaker 6: Would, And yeah, you're right analyzing it. Yeah, maybe that's

868
00:53:28,600 --> 00:53:30,400
Speaker 6: why I'm getting the stones. Maybe it's like karma.

869
00:53:30,520 --> 00:53:35,200
Speaker 2: I don't know, it's true, it's true. Yeah, so God's

870
00:53:35,239 --> 00:53:36,440
Speaker 2: way of punishing.

871
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:40,920
Speaker 6: You very well could be because I mean, I've done

872
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:44,719
Speaker 6: some questionable stuff in my life where I'm sure that

873
00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:47,160
Speaker 6: I've been fucked the pain and hurt on other people,

874
00:53:47,239 --> 00:53:51,320
Speaker 6: and other than this, I've got a pretty cushy, nice life.

875
00:53:51,840 --> 00:53:54,399
Speaker 2: What do you so tell me? So let's elaborate. Hold

876
00:53:54,480 --> 00:53:57,279
Speaker 2: hold me on there real quick. What do you feel

877
00:53:57,320 --> 00:54:00,880
Speaker 2: like you might have done in your life?

878
00:54:01,920 --> 00:54:06,319
Speaker 6: It's like ex girlfriends. I used to think I used

879
00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:08,040
Speaker 6: to think I was like a little player, so you know,

880
00:54:08,120 --> 00:54:12,640
Speaker 6: and growing up on the MySpace and Instagram, you know,

881
00:54:12,719 --> 00:54:14,680
Speaker 6: dropping the d ms, it makes it so easy to

882
00:54:14,760 --> 00:54:21,680
Speaker 6: like be promiscivous. So I'm thinking, you know, possibly those

883
00:54:22,160 --> 00:54:25,840
Speaker 6: occurrences of kind of being in dirt back to the

884
00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:30,120
Speaker 6: women I've dated in the past could be my karma.

885
00:54:30,239 --> 00:54:35,200
Speaker 6: I mean, I've never done anything drastic, like because you know,

886
00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:38,879
Speaker 6: physical harm on someone or stole from someone, or it's

887
00:54:38,920 --> 00:54:42,600
Speaker 6: mostly like lying and cheating, I would say, but I

888
00:54:42,640 --> 00:54:44,759
Speaker 6: think that's a fair amount of dudes these days and

889
00:54:44,840 --> 00:54:45,839
Speaker 6: women for that matter.

890
00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:49,160
Speaker 2: Is it is it weird to me that I feel

891
00:54:49,200 --> 00:54:54,800
Speaker 2: like internalizing this this is crazy? Is it weird to me, Devin,

892
00:54:55,400 --> 00:55:01,080
Speaker 2: that you internalizing this idea even if it's like not true,

893
00:55:01,120 --> 00:55:04,200
Speaker 2: like this idea that you deserve it, Like, doesn't that

894
00:55:04,239 --> 00:55:07,000
Speaker 2: kind of make it better? The idea that like, all right,

895
00:55:07,040 --> 00:55:08,840
Speaker 2: I'm experiencing this pain, but at least it's for a

896
00:55:08,880 --> 00:55:11,120
Speaker 2: good reason, you know what I'm saying, Like, if you

897
00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:14,439
Speaker 2: really did feel as though you did something like you

898
00:55:14,960 --> 00:55:17,880
Speaker 2: fucking MySpace too many girls and now you have to

899
00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:21,080
Speaker 2: pay the price for that, and that's your kidney stones,

900
00:55:21,160 --> 00:55:23,440
Speaker 2: like cause at least because if you didn' because it

901
00:55:23,440 --> 00:55:26,680
Speaker 2: wouldn't be it would be worse if you were innocent,

902
00:55:27,440 --> 00:55:30,680
Speaker 2: and this bad thing is happening to this poor innocent

903
00:55:30,719 --> 00:55:34,680
Speaker 2: Devin who never did anything bad ever. But if you

904
00:55:35,040 --> 00:55:37,160
Speaker 2: thought if you were like, I'm a fucking asshole and

905
00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:42,279
Speaker 2: I deserve stones in my penis, it's almost like take yourself,

906
00:55:42,320 --> 00:55:44,040
Speaker 2: like leave your ego out of it, and like just

907
00:55:44,080 --> 00:55:47,240
Speaker 2: look at yourself objectively and you're like, man, I suck.

908
00:55:47,360 --> 00:55:50,440
Speaker 2: I deserve all this pain. Does that like does that

909
00:55:50,520 --> 00:55:53,000
Speaker 2: make it better? Maybe? Am I crazy?

910
00:55:53,120 --> 00:55:56,680
Speaker 6: I mean those are no, those are very valid points.

911
00:55:57,320 --> 00:56:00,040
Speaker 6: I do think. You know, I've been cheated on. It

912
00:56:00,080 --> 00:56:02,680
Speaker 6: doesn't feel great, especially when you're like super into the person.

913
00:56:04,400 --> 00:56:06,680
Speaker 6: But let me tell you, man, just this amount of pain,

914
00:56:06,760 --> 00:56:10,360
Speaker 6: there's like nothing I feel anyone could do short of

915
00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:15,000
Speaker 6: like murder, murdering someone that they would actually like warrant

916
00:56:15,400 --> 00:56:18,879
Speaker 6: how bad this feels. Because it's like the first time

917
00:56:18,920 --> 00:56:21,000
Speaker 6: I've experienced it. I thought I was literally dying, Like

918
00:56:21,320 --> 00:56:25,520
Speaker 6: I called the ambulance and was saying my goodbyes and stuff,

919
00:56:25,560 --> 00:56:28,880
Speaker 6: because it's just like it, you feel like something horribly

920
00:56:28,920 --> 00:56:31,719
Speaker 6: has just gone wrong within your own body. Have no

921
00:56:31,800 --> 00:56:37,440
Speaker 6: idea what it's just intensifying and intensifying. But I don't know, like.

922
00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:39,520
Speaker 2: See Devin, I what about I mean, I think at

923
00:56:39,520 --> 00:56:41,360
Speaker 2: this point we should just make like even if you

924
00:56:41,360 --> 00:56:44,839
Speaker 2: didn't do this, like, let's make up things that you

925
00:56:44,880 --> 00:56:49,280
Speaker 2: did wrong, Like have you ever like pushed a child

926
00:56:49,719 --> 00:56:53,239
Speaker 2: or something like that. Like I'm saying, what, let's let's

927
00:56:53,280 --> 00:56:58,239
Speaker 2: say that you convince yourself that you did, and now

928
00:56:58,320 --> 00:57:03,080
Speaker 2: the kidney stones are punishment for that, like at least

929
00:57:03,400 --> 00:57:07,319
Speaker 2: I was. All I'm saying. All I'm saying is that

930
00:57:07,360 --> 00:57:09,560
Speaker 2: if you convince, if you did, convince yourself that you

931
00:57:09,600 --> 00:57:13,600
Speaker 2: deserved the pain, it would make it better because then

932
00:57:13,760 --> 00:57:15,880
Speaker 2: you'd be like, all right, well, at least this happened

933
00:57:15,920 --> 00:57:16,400
Speaker 2: for a reason.

934
00:57:16,440 --> 00:57:19,880
Speaker 6: You know what I'm saying, right, No, I you know,

935
00:57:19,960 --> 00:57:23,720
Speaker 6: I'm trying perting myself in that headspace. And if I'm like,

936
00:57:23,920 --> 00:57:27,480
Speaker 6: you know, really sold on the idea that this is

937
00:57:27,560 --> 00:57:30,120
Speaker 6: my payment for all the bad jus you I've put

938
00:57:30,120 --> 00:57:32,280
Speaker 6: out in the world, then you know what, if this

939
00:57:32,360 --> 00:57:34,000
Speaker 6: is the price I have to pay to like clear

940
00:57:34,080 --> 00:57:37,760
Speaker 6: up listens if you want to call them that, then.

941
00:57:37,680 --> 00:57:41,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean that's like when I I'm not like

942
00:57:41,680 --> 00:57:46,200
Speaker 5: a hyper religious person. I don't think like when I die,

943
00:57:46,360 --> 00:57:49,040
Speaker 5: I'm going to be like showing a movie reel of

944
00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:51,080
Speaker 5: everything bad I've done in my life, that kind of thing.

945
00:57:51,120 --> 00:57:54,320
Speaker 6: But if there is something after the after this life,

946
00:57:54,480 --> 00:57:56,400
Speaker 6: and they're like, you know what, you and Jert Chidney

947
00:57:56,400 --> 00:58:00,280
Speaker 6: Stone three times in your life to make up and

948
00:58:00,360 --> 00:58:03,360
Speaker 6: pay your Hey, you pay the price for everything you've

949
00:58:03,400 --> 00:58:06,400
Speaker 6: done so you can come back as like a million

950
00:58:06,560 --> 00:58:13,120
Speaker 6: like the next Elon Musk or something I would happily.

951
00:58:12,320 --> 00:58:16,560
Speaker 2: You know, Devin, do you feel do you feel sufficiently

952
00:58:16,600 --> 00:58:19,320
Speaker 2: distracted from your kidney stones? Dude?

953
00:58:19,480 --> 00:58:22,640
Speaker 6: Absolutely. I'm reading the comments right now. It's pretty hilarious.

954
00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:28,000
Speaker 6: And and someone says something about soda. I'm guilty of that.

955
00:58:28,160 --> 00:58:32,760
Speaker 6: Costco had like a case of the really good coca

956
00:58:32,800 --> 00:58:35,720
Speaker 6: cola from Mexico and the glass bottle of the real

957
00:58:35,800 --> 00:58:38,720
Speaker 6: cane sugar. And you know, when you got a whole

958
00:58:38,760 --> 00:58:42,440
Speaker 6: case of that, you're gonna drink as much as your

959
00:58:42,480 --> 00:58:43,040
Speaker 6: heart desire.

960
00:58:43,880 --> 00:58:45,160
Speaker 2: What causes kidney stones?

961
00:58:47,200 --> 00:58:52,040
Speaker 6: For some people, it is a very big trigger as

962
00:58:52,040 --> 00:58:55,680
Speaker 6: well as like yellow something of another red like the

963
00:58:55,680 --> 00:58:59,080
Speaker 6: food coloring dyes and like mountains Jela like these uh

964
00:58:59,240 --> 00:59:02,640
Speaker 6: these that's it for some people.

965
00:59:02,960 --> 00:59:04,800
Speaker 2: Talk about how if you drink enough mountain dew you

966
00:59:04,840 --> 00:59:09,440
Speaker 2: can't come because we all five like it's ready to sperm.

967
00:59:09,440 --> 00:59:14,320
Speaker 6: Interesting, interestingly enough, one of the prescriptions the doctors wanted

968
00:59:14,320 --> 00:59:16,439
Speaker 6: me to take, which I didn't take because I read

969
00:59:16,440 --> 00:59:21,120
Speaker 6: the potential side effects it does correct because of what

970
00:59:21,120 --> 00:59:23,280
Speaker 6: it does is supposed to make you retain more water

971
00:59:23,760 --> 00:59:26,800
Speaker 6: and have like heavier flow piece to get get more

972
00:59:26,800 --> 00:59:30,560
Speaker 6: pressure in there to eject the kinney zone. But some

973
00:59:30,640 --> 00:59:34,880
Speaker 6: of the side effects were like erection lasting too long

974
00:59:34,960 --> 00:59:36,920
Speaker 6: towards painful you have to go to the doctor, or

975
00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:44,000
Speaker 6: difficulty ejaculating, or prone to more infection. And I'm so

976
00:59:44,160 --> 00:59:50,320
Speaker 6: skeptical of medication because I have been having I'm sorry, go.

977
00:59:50,280 --> 00:59:53,360
Speaker 2: Ahead, well, Devin, listen before we go. I want you

978
00:59:53,400 --> 00:59:55,959
Speaker 2: to know something. Maybe maybe this makes you feel better.

979
00:59:57,840 --> 01:00:01,680
Speaker 2: Sure you've your pain that you've shared with us. This

980
01:00:01,760 --> 01:00:05,760
Speaker 2: evening has done us all a service because now everyone

981
01:00:05,800 --> 01:00:08,960
Speaker 2: listening to like, think about this, Devin. Everyone listening to

982
01:00:09,000 --> 01:00:12,640
Speaker 2: this now like whatever. Like let's say somebody was in

983
01:00:12,680 --> 01:00:14,880
Speaker 2: their car and the like say, someone that's listened to

984
01:00:14,920 --> 01:00:16,680
Speaker 2: this in their car right now, and they're like in

985
01:00:16,800 --> 01:00:20,400
Speaker 2: traffic and they're like, so pissed off and upset with

986
01:00:20,440 --> 01:00:23,000
Speaker 2: all the stuff that's going on with their lives. They

987
01:00:23,080 --> 01:00:27,880
Speaker 2: now feel better because at least they don't have kidney stones.

988
01:00:28,120 --> 01:00:31,440
Speaker 2: You gave that. Yeah, that makes.

989
01:00:31,360 --> 01:00:36,040
Speaker 6: You, thanks man, That means a lot coming from you.

990
01:00:36,720 --> 01:00:38,240
Speaker 2: Is there is there anything else that you want to

991
01:00:38,280 --> 01:00:40,400
Speaker 2: say to the people of the computer before we go.

992
01:00:42,280 --> 01:00:46,360
Speaker 6: Take care of yourself. Drink more water, don't drink todas

993
01:00:46,440 --> 01:00:51,360
Speaker 6: or tease everything in moderation. But yeah, take care of

994
01:00:51,360 --> 01:00:54,240
Speaker 6: yourselves because you know, you only get older with time

995
01:00:54,320 --> 01:00:56,160
Speaker 6: and your body starts to break down more and more

996
01:00:56,200 --> 01:01:00,720
Speaker 6: and has less opportunity to recover as it does in

997
01:01:00,720 --> 01:01:05,040
Speaker 6: your youth. And just enjoy that time you have where

998
01:01:05,040 --> 01:01:08,320
Speaker 6: you don't have any thoughts of my health because you know,

999
01:01:08,520 --> 01:01:13,440
Speaker 6: you cross the line where pulses of utmost importance and

1000
01:01:13,480 --> 01:01:17,360
Speaker 6: it's something you actually have to invest energy and money into,

1001
01:01:17,440 --> 01:01:21,240
Speaker 6: like I've probably invested well over fifteen hundred bucks and

1002
01:01:21,360 --> 01:01:23,600
Speaker 6: just going to er visits and doctors just within this

1003
01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:30,640
Speaker 6: last month. Unrelated to the kidney stones. But yeah, enjoy

1004
01:01:30,640 --> 01:01:31,000
Speaker 6: your youth.

1005
01:01:31,560 --> 01:01:35,960
Speaker 2: At least now you have lots of time to you know,

1006
01:01:36,080 --> 01:01:38,800
Speaker 2: lay in bed and go on Instagram if you know

1007
01:01:38,840 --> 01:01:43,160
Speaker 2: what I'm saying, oh God, thank you for calling Devin there.

1008
01:01:44,160 --> 01:01:45,640
Speaker 6: Hey, thanks, Well, it's always a pleasure.

1009
01:01:45,680 --> 01:01:50,200
Speaker 2: But I feel like I transition too seamlessly from taking

1010
01:01:50,240 --> 01:01:57,000
Speaker 2: things seriously to not taking things seriously that maybe people

1011
01:01:57,040 --> 01:01:59,600
Speaker 2: think that I'm being serious when I'm not, whether they

1012
01:01:59,600 --> 01:02:02,800
Speaker 2: think I'm not being serious when I am. And I'll

1013
01:02:02,800 --> 01:02:03,520
Speaker 2: never tell.

1014
01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:05,200
Speaker 1: God.

1015
01:02:05,240 --> 01:02:08,600
Speaker 2: I feel great right now, not having kidney stones. Thank

1016
01:02:08,640 --> 01:02:10,080
Speaker 2: you for calling Deren there.

1017
01:02:10,080 --> 01:02:13,400
Speaker 1: Remy Ken goes on the line taking your phone calls

1018
01:02:13,440 --> 01:02:14,000
Speaker 1: every night.

1019
01:02:14,400 --> 01:02:17,479
Speaker 2: The Rep Ken goes doing his night's teaching you loud

1020
01:02:17,520 --> 01:02:18,520
Speaker 2: in the middle of your life.

1021
01:02:18,920 --> 01:02:21,080
Speaker 6: Money's not really an expert.