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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast.

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Speaker 1: Hi guys, Hi, Well, if it isn't our little announcement

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Speaker 1: Queen raining, So we have another announcement today, but I

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Speaker 1: just have to host chat about something because it's still

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Speaker 1: kind of making me a little sick.

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Speaker 2: Is it gonna make me sick?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 2: Okay, maybe yes? Well escalated quickly.

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Speaker 1: Okay. So Jolie had some birthday parties this past weekend,

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Speaker 1: and it was one of those things where I'm just

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Speaker 1: not good with. I don't even know if I really

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Speaker 1: honestly RSVP to half of them.

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Speaker 2: You know, I feel like.

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Speaker 1: There's like a lull, right, Like it's like six months

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Speaker 1: no birthday parties, then all of a sudden there's five

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Speaker 1: in a day. Yeah, and she's like coming home with them.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my gosh, we've got okay, like this

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Speaker 1: wanted to say the one that day, but when it

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Speaker 1: it's also like I've got two months and then it

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Speaker 1: just all of a sudden shows up like oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh this weekend, well I forgot, and so

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Speaker 1: of course Jolie didn't forget, and so she and I

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Speaker 1: have mom the refrigerder. So she's like Mommy, it's so

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Speaker 1: and so's birthday today, and I'm like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: like what uh crap, Like what time?

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Speaker 2: And I'm like, do you really want to go?

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Speaker 1: Like it's it, it's it's raining and it's a splash

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Speaker 1: party and they've got a splash thing.

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Speaker 2: I was like, we just took a shower, Like, no,

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Speaker 2: we needs a petting dude. That's a horrible idea. So

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Speaker 2: that was bad.

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Speaker 1: That was a that was a bad mom moment because

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Speaker 1: I was actually kind of trying to steer her to

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Speaker 1: not go.

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Speaker 2: I've done that, you have to Okay, Oh thank goodness.

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Speaker 2: Oh you guys.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I'm waddling around my house. So if I can,

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Speaker 1: I'm I can do anything right now.

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Speaker 2: Okay, thank goodness.

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Speaker 1: But also the problem was is I didn't have a

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Speaker 1: gift for them. So I then tell the kids, Well,

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Speaker 1: I tell Joela, I'm like, but we don't really have anything.

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Speaker 1: She's like, oh no, wait, mommy, and she remembers that

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Speaker 1: I put extra toys that like maybe they had a

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Speaker 1: double or they didn't. We didn't use it from Christmas.

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Speaker 1: I put it in nan on Papa's closet for I'm

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Speaker 1: going to go in there and see gifts that I

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Speaker 1: gave your game by possibly, but like you know, I

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Speaker 1: they're they're like to stock up four like parties right

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Speaker 1: for this exact situation. Well, the only thing that was

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Speaker 1: left were like two bad stuffies and they had a

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Speaker 1: tag on them still, but I'm like totally, it's a

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Speaker 1: brother sister birthday party that are in her class, and

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Speaker 1: like we can't just give like these like stuffies. They're

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Speaker 1: like probably two dollars, you know, like just get a

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Speaker 1: bad stuffies. Whatever they announced me not being named, I

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Speaker 1: want this episode to be called do Bad Stuffies?

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Speaker 2: Okay. So I was just like crap.

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Speaker 1: So I'm thinking, like, oh, and I remember I was,

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Speaker 1: you know, I was packing because there's just a lot

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Speaker 1: going on, and so.

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Speaker 2: I was.

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Speaker 1: I remembered that I saw some gift cards. One was

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Speaker 1: like I think a half to used one from like Disney.

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Speaker 2: Don't know how much is on that one. And I

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Speaker 2: was like, d look at Disney card and I'm like, I.

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Speaker 3: Saw, hey, Oliver, here's your balance of in Orlando. Thirty

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Speaker 3: three fifteen is left on this card. If you and

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Speaker 3: your parents might get to Disney, you're in the ball

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Speaker 3: out of control.

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Speaker 2: It was a Disney store. You can go where is

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Speaker 2: this store? There's not even that Disney can online.

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Speaker 1: DC. Just don't overspend twenty two eighty seven as all

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Speaker 1: you have left with the post it note. So I

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Speaker 1: didn't again, like know how much was on there, so

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Speaker 1: and I already saw that I scratched it off, so

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Speaker 1: I'm like, boy, that's the regifter dead giveaway. Tell me

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Speaker 1: you gave that to I didn't, okay, but I was

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Speaker 1: also too lazy to check the balance, so I just

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Speaker 1: threw it back in the box like it probably has

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Speaker 1: nothing on there.

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Speaker 2: But but I'm also why do I take that Baba's gloset?

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Speaker 1: I did get that guy out of rotation, But there

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Speaker 1: was like this crumpl up visa card that was still

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Speaker 1: in the packaging, so I was like it was for

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Speaker 1: fifty dollars.

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Speaker 2: So I'm like, all right, twenty five.

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Speaker 1: A kid, because I usually like, you know, twenty five

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Speaker 1: or fifty like for the kid, like fifty max. And

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Speaker 1: so I was just like, Joey, just take this on

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Speaker 1: the card and then we put it in the thing.

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Speaker 1: And then I just kind of in my mind was

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Speaker 1: like the mom will hopefully forgive me for this really

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Speaker 1: poor put together present, because it was that's poor, that's lazy.

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Speaker 2: Well, if it.

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Speaker 1: Was to twenty five dollars gift cards, I think it

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Speaker 1: looks a little more intentional.

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Speaker 2: It's your true Splitsville.

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Speaker 1: It starts to make it look like but here's the issue.

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Speaker 1: So the next day, I think I pulled Bathom bodywork

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Speaker 1: splosion and you've had like sway pops.

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Speaker 2: Hey, guys, here's some diet. I guess lash lash extension stuff.

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Speaker 2: Great for eight year olds.

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Speaker 1: So the next day she's like, you know, Sterling's birthday party,

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Speaker 1: and so I'm like, okay, great, We're going to go

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Speaker 1: to Target after church, but like it has to be

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Speaker 1: very timed out because you know, there's the jump place.

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Speaker 1: And so we go to we go to church, we

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Speaker 1: go to Jimmy John's and I'm like, all right, guys,

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Speaker 1: we've got like five minutes in Target. All right, so

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Speaker 1: we got to go in get your present. And I

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Speaker 1: promised you, you know, since you guys have been like

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Speaker 1: such good kids all weekend and everything, like you didn't

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Speaker 1: get a toy last time, you can get it like

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Speaker 1: one small toy this time. So because I don't let

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Speaker 1: them do it each time, So five minutes, Alan's like

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Speaker 1: great during this time, I'm gonna grab it because he's like,

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Speaker 1: can I drop you on?

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Speaker 2: He's like, do I do I have to go to

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Speaker 2: the birthday party? I was like, yes, you do, welcome allan.

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Speaker 1: No. I was like, no, you don't have to. I

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Speaker 1: was like, you know, but right now we're just kind

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Speaker 1: of like down to like us then.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, so he's like, all right, well'm gonna I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna grab a coffee and so I was like, no problem. So,

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Speaker 1: you know, we we run to the toy part because again,

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Speaker 1: Jolie knows she doesn't want to be late. I don't

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Speaker 1: like being late, and so we're trying to find a

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Speaker 1: toy for Stirling. We know that he likes legos, and I,

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Speaker 1: you know, she picked up something. I was like, oh no, honey,

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Speaker 1: that's like only like twenty something. I was like, let's

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Speaker 1: get him.

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Speaker 2: You know. Maybe I was like, oh my goodness.

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Speaker 1: And on the like ledge of this the aisleway, it

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Speaker 1: was just like don da da da, and it's beautiful,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, forty nine ninety nine, that's a steal.

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Speaker 1: So I was like a Lego set, a Lego set

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Speaker 1: like a Star Wars, like Big Box go ahead.

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Speaker 4: I just see where this is going. Keep going.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So I'm like, Jolie, grab that one. Thought it was

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Speaker 1: a little weird that it had one of those protector

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Speaker 1: things on it, but but it said forty nine ninety nine.

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Speaker 5: So side note real fast before you go anywhere with this.

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Speaker 5: What was the age on this?

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Speaker 2: And I don't want.

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Speaker 4: It has a protector on it. I'm gonna go with

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Speaker 4: it's pretty old.

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Speaker 2: Put the kid's turn to gate. He likes legos.

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Speaker 1: So I'm like, you know, I think it maybe said

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Speaker 1: ten or something or I don't know. Level up, sterling.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna need you to put this whole spaceship together.

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Speaker 1: So we grab it again. I'm like, all right, we've got,

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Speaker 1: you know, two minutes left. Let's grab a bag, let's

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Speaker 1: grab a car, let's grab some tissue paper, because I'm

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Speaker 1: not failing on this present.

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Speaker 2: Like I just I won't fail on this one.

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Speaker 1: So meanwhile, with a barista Alan, Alan is having a

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Speaker 1: relaxing target trip, grabbing himself a hot cup of Joe.

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Speaker 2: So I met the check out going.

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Speaker 1: Like hey, he's.

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Speaker 2: Like, there's my American fiance.

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Speaker 1: I don't think we're engaged then, yeah, I know, I

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Speaker 1: just wanted to keep saying it yeah the other day

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Speaker 1: on the phone, just to be like my fiance. It

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Speaker 1: was like it made me smile, yeah, yeah, yeah. So

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Speaker 1: oh yes, he goes with me his missus. Still, I

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Speaker 1: was like, let me in the hear it, len they

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Speaker 1: hear it you his missus.

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Speaker 2: This is cute.

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Speaker 1: Yea, it's cute. So he calls me misses and I

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Speaker 1: call him fancy. Anyways, back to the story. So we

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Speaker 1: then allan over.

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Speaker 2: So I'm like a rub my hair aisle three.

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Speaker 1: So he's like, we're like, you know, getting his coffee whatever.

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Speaker 1: So then we're checking out. I've got, you know, their toys.

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Speaker 1: I had grabbed a few more things that we needed,

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Speaker 1: like there are a couple of cereal boxes or whatever

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Speaker 1: that you know you grab because the toy all is

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Speaker 1: toy aisle is quite far from checkout, far far away,

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Speaker 1: far far far far away. I just want to preface

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Speaker 1: it this to make me sound.

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Speaker 2: A little better.

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Speaker 1: So when all the stuff was checked out, she goes

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Speaker 1: the price. I can't remember exactly what the price was,

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Speaker 1: but I was like, excuse me, like, you're total for

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Speaker 1: the order, total.

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Speaker 2: For the order.

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Speaker 1: It was like three hundred and fifty dollars, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, for what you know in my mind is

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Speaker 1: what I'm thinking, and I.

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Speaker 2: Target Bermuda Triangle. We all feel this way. How much

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Speaker 2: were the Legos two hundred and fifty dollars? No, ma'am.

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Speaker 1: I but at this moment, I'm sweating. There are two

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Speaker 1: people behind me in line, maybe one with like they

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Speaker 1: had like a guest.

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Speaker 2: I guess I just saw two people. So this is

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Speaker 2: a plus one for check out.

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Speaker 4: It's not getting coffee, like you're a plus one.

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Speaker 1: So I'm like sweating. I'm also embarrassed, like because I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I obviously did not want to spend that much. I

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Speaker 1: wanted to spend under fifty dollars. But then to send

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Speaker 1: Jolie back to get a different presence going to take

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Speaker 1: more time, and I know she's like stressed about being

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Speaker 1: on time. I'm I want to get there on time too,

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Speaker 1: because I also kind of wanted to leave a little early,

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Speaker 1: you know. So I'm like, let's get there early so

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Speaker 1: we can leave because we had a party that night

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Speaker 1: as well, and so.

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Speaker 2: We have a four minute turnaround for us to go

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Speaker 2: back to that toy aisle. You guys, I bought it.

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Speaker 2: No may'amre. She did creamer. I did that kid got

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Speaker 2: a really goo?

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Speaker 4: Did you go up to that mom? And did you

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Speaker 4: tell the mom? Sorry?

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Speaker 1: No, because I felt then even I'd be even more embarrassed.

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Speaker 2: Rolling in with her Chris kringled bag on her.

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Speaker 5: This person is Jolie to the birthday party every year.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's like the Halloween House with the big

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Speaker 1: candy candy, you know, like Jolie and Jase are on

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Speaker 1: everybody's birthday list in the Try County area.

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Speaker 2: Now, well it's not gonna happen again, so.

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Speaker 4: You didn't just walk it.

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Speaker 2: I would have walked it back with both kids. My

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Speaker 2: barista fiance.

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Speaker 5: Is like, hey, Scottish man, I need you to run

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Speaker 5: and take this and.

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Speaker 4: Get another one. That's not with my kids. Happens to

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Speaker 4: me all the time.

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Speaker 1: I can send Jolian Jason's Scottish Man right, but he

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Speaker 1: was still at like he was still foaming his oat milk.

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Speaker 2: You know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: I know is the slowest Starbucks on the face of

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Speaker 1: the planet inside of that target. So I don't have

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Speaker 1: help right to say go and I can't like so that.

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Speaker 2: That, but you can pause transaction. Well, see I didn't

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Speaker 2: know that. I didn't.

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Speaker 1: They can print a little wow, they can print a

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Speaker 1: little slip and it has like a little barcode at

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Speaker 1: the bottom. So all the items you have already rang up,

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Speaker 1: they delete the one that you're taking back and they

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Speaker 1: just have it so they don't have to like rebag

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Speaker 1: and redo.

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Speaker 2: I'll see that part would make me nervous.

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Speaker 1: You guys need to do it a lot of I

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Speaker 1: mean this is like get I get nervous in those moments.

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Speaker 1: Like I'm very i don't like to spend a lot

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Speaker 1: of money. I'm like even all on another day was

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Speaker 1: like you're kind of cheap with things, but then you're

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Speaker 1: you know, you'll you'll spend somewhere else, like with this area.

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Speaker 1: Like I would never spend that much on a birthday

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Speaker 1: present for a child that's in my daughter's class.

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Speaker 2: That on my husband for his birthday. No, me neither.

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Speaker 2: Oh see, I like to give like you were good

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Speaker 2: at Yeah, you're you're a baller.

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Speaker 1: But around like Mile in Chicago and I was like

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Speaker 1: trying on his par of jeans and I was like,

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Speaker 1: I love these, but I need a minute because they

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Speaker 1: were like an expensive pair of jeans. Remember, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, I really love them, but I also just

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Speaker 1: need a minute and I'll think about it.

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Speaker 2: You're like, I was like, I'll circle back. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: But then I have her husband, you know, taking down

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Speaker 1: the place set, and I'm hacking my own house because

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Speaker 1: I don't want to pay for movers. So it's like

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Speaker 1: I have like you because I'm like it's too expensive.

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Speaker 2: Well, I know because I own the jeans now because

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Speaker 2: then you bought them for me.

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Speaker 4: And I owned several things from that store as well.

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Speaker 2: She also has more designer purses than I do, all.

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Speaker 4: From Jana and anytime I will buy them for me.

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Speaker 5: Anytime someone compliments me, I like, I cannot just say

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Speaker 5: thank you.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, thank you, Jana got it for me.

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Speaker 2: My friend Gians do it.

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Speaker 4: I can't.

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Speaker 1: When people are like those jeans are really cute, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I know Jana Gum from the best Friend jeans and

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Speaker 1: it's not like I'm buying Like people are like, oh,

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Speaker 1: she's she's buying her friends.

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Speaker 2: But no, I just like I You're like, you called

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Speaker 2: it my wind down bonus or something cute. You were like,

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Speaker 2: you guys deserve it. It's fun. We're in Chicago and

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Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, you.

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Speaker 5: Were so generous with that stuff, and you were so

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Speaker 5: great with money, but I'm also very stingy.

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Speaker 4: You were very stingy at times, and.

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Speaker 1: I accutely and my jeans are kind of on the

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Speaker 1: same price points.

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Speaker 5: Like presence, really shopping you don't even know you don't

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Speaker 5: spend much. Yeah, I mean maybe wine, Yeah, but you

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Speaker 5: really don't.

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Speaker 4: Like, Oh, we all appreciate the extensive wine.

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Speaker 1: But I'm like, I would not spend like for movers

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Speaker 1: because I'm like, that's like three grand movers at all. No,

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Speaker 1: I already have a storage unit and we're going to

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Speaker 1: start moving boxes in because I'm like Alan, and I.

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Speaker 4: Like, you don't get movers at all.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to. What about I'm selling those things?

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Speaker 2: Can I know what you're selling?

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Speaker 4: Wow?

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Speaker 2: Say yeah, I'm selling.

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Speaker 1: A lot actually okay, because I just like I'm ause,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't, I don't you know what I mean?

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Speaker 2: So it's gone. This couch is gone.

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Speaker 1: Pam is taking this couch, Okay, I don't like the

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Speaker 1: pam head first tips.

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Speaker 2: We need to do. This is like an estate.

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Speaker 1: So I'm only taking my couch, my two chairs, my

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Speaker 1: my bed, and then like two buffets, so like maybe

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Speaker 1: I'll hire two eyes, like with a truck, but like

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Speaker 1: not like an actual move.

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Speaker 2: They're so expensive, No, they are.

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Speaker 4: I just cannot imagine moving.

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Speaker 1: And I've been doing it very like so like every

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Speaker 1: day I do a closet or I do like you know,

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Speaker 1: so I love like I love getting rid of stuff.

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Speaker 1: I love packing like it's my favorite thing.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, we're going shopping later.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, in here right, And a lot of times actually

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Speaker 1: attached to that chair next to you. Oh, those are

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Speaker 1: just getting I was gonna put the mountain stay free.

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Speaker 2: Oh we're gonna need to talk Gramer. It's got to funny.

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Speaker 2: You gotta wash it. Let's men. Fine, Yeah, there's a

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Speaker 2: whole set of those.

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Speaker 1: There are six, and I was just gonna be like,

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Speaker 1: whoever wants some's gonna put them out fronting. Yeah, they're

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Speaker 1: actually really great chairs anyways.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so moving no no, no, no, no no no.

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Speaker 1: But I'm not But I'm just saying like, but it's

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Speaker 1: like there, I get it. There are certain things where

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Speaker 1: I'm just like, well, manual labor stuff I actually like

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Speaker 1: to do myself because I'm like, well I can do

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Speaker 1: that myself. Why would I pay somebody is that our

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Speaker 1: midwestern like we saw like seeing Nick and Alan tear

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Speaker 1: down that play center together and then sit in you know,

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Speaker 1: the Toys and Knicks truck, like it was so cute

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Speaker 1: watching them.

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Speaker 4: Wait, I have a question. Is my husband moving you?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 2: Okay, he just said he would do the playhouse.

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Speaker 5: I know he loves that shit. I mean, he's always

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Speaker 5: here to help. I just can't put it on my calendar,

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Speaker 5: so I know when I'm not going to have him

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Speaker 5: for a couple of days, he would offer.

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Speaker 1: He's been very gracious helping with the you know, the

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Speaker 1: cell and the move of the house, which I can't

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Speaker 1: say yet because I'm still like it's still a week

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Speaker 1: away from play Yeah, and I don't supersticious. Yeah. So anyways,

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Speaker 1: just for the record, I'm going back to the toy

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Speaker 1: department and I'm returning that toy.

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Speaker 2: There's no way I bought that. Yeah, it's it's being

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Speaker 2: played with right now. Yeah. I mean it's going to

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Speaker 2: take him a couple of years, but it's going too

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Speaker 2: plus Yep.

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Speaker 1: Anyways, we're gonna take a break and then we've got

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Speaker 1: a second announcement that we're about to drop on the

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Speaker 1: Today's Show. All right, guys. So you guys already know

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Speaker 1: because you guys have been on the journey with me.

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Speaker 1: So my ex and I were supposed to we got

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Speaker 1: a second book deal after the Good Fight, and it

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Speaker 1: was going to be about trust.

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Speaker 2: I remember, scratch that too soon. So when.

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Speaker 1: We got you know, divorced, I had called the editor

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Speaker 1: and I said, hey, I know we were authors together,

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Speaker 1: but is there a world where I could potentially write

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Speaker 1: a book? But I also was very nervous about it

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Speaker 1: because during our book process, like I will say, like

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Speaker 1: my ex was a fantastic writer. He's a really he was.

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Speaker 1: I write how I speak a lot of times. I've

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Speaker 1: gotten better through this process. But I think the things

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Speaker 1: that I heard when we were writing that book is

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Speaker 1: that like he was the writer and I was just

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Speaker 1: the the ones coming with the you know, I still

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Speaker 1: wrote my parts. But that's interesting to me, to be honest,

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Speaker 1: what would part that.

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Speaker 2: He's the writer?

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Speaker 1: He was? He wrote most of that book. Now I

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Speaker 1: wrote all the parts that say Jana was definitely me

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Speaker 1: that together we voice was him. Wow, Like he wrote

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Speaker 1: the majority of the book. And I think hearing like

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Speaker 1: you know that he was the writer. It's just anytime,

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Speaker 1: like you know, like it just made me feel like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: maybe I'm not capable of than writing a book, right right,

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Speaker 1: But something in it was like I had to prove

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Speaker 1: to myself that I am a writer and that I

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Speaker 1: can write. And so I called my editor of our

389
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:54,840
Speaker 1: last book and I was just like, is there a

390
00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:57,440
Speaker 1: world where I could have a book? And I said,

391
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Speaker 1: but I'm going to fight for not a ghostwriter. It's

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Speaker 1: really important to me to not have a ghostwriter because

393
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:06,040
Speaker 1: of the things that, like my exit said during the

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00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:09,720
Speaker 1: writing process, so like, I want to have the words

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Speaker 1: on paper. I really admire this piece because there's not

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Speaker 1: a lot of people in your shoes that would fight

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Speaker 1: to not have that right.

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Speaker 2: That's a really big deal.

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Speaker 1: And so at the time she said no, well she's

400
00:18:24,359 --> 00:18:25,400
Speaker 1: saying no, I take the back.

401
00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:26,560
Speaker 2: I love Sydney.

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Speaker 1: She said, let's wait until you heal a little bit more.

403
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:37,119
Speaker 1: And I was like fine, fair. So I started writing

404
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:42,879
Speaker 1: things down, kind of a diary in a way with things,

405
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:46,679
Speaker 1: and I sent it to her and I was just like,

406
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:49,360
Speaker 1: here's some things I've been writing, and she was wrote back,

407
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Speaker 1: just wow, She's like, let's discuss next week. And she

408
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Speaker 1: goes you know, I've really She's like, this is all

409
00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:59,399
Speaker 1: great stuff, there's definitely something here, but a piece of

410
00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:01,840
Speaker 1: me thinks that maybe we should wait until you find

411
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Speaker 1: love again and you're in an I was like, okay, I'm

412
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,359
Speaker 1: gonna stop you right there. I do not want to

413
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Speaker 1: be in a relationship when I'm writing this book, like

414
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:15,320
Speaker 1: found my one love, I don't want it to be

415
00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:18,880
Speaker 1: about a boy because everything has always been My happiness

416
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:22,440
Speaker 1: has always been dependent on a man, and I don't

417
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:22,960
Speaker 1: want to be like.

418
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Speaker 2: I found love. I'm happy and this is now a

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Speaker 2: book about that.

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Speaker 1: Like I was, like, it can I don't even want

421
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Speaker 1: to mention like new love because I have to love

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Speaker 1: myself right. So for the next so probably God, when

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Speaker 1: do we start?

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Speaker 2: I have to look back?

425
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Speaker 1: But here is my book the next chapter, making peace

426
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:50,040
Speaker 1: with hard memories, finding hope all around us, and clearing

427
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,160
Speaker 1: space for good things to come. This is the year

428
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Speaker 1: diary of when I filed, the day that I found

429
00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:03,960
Speaker 1: out some stuff, and the year coping with grief and

430
00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,760
Speaker 1: the ups and downs of your grieving and the anger

431
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:09,600
Speaker 1: and the missteps that I took, and the things that

432
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Speaker 1: I wish I would have done differently, and just everything

433
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:21,119
Speaker 1: that I learned in that year post filing for divorce. Yeah,

434
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:26,639
Speaker 1: I also a lot of pages of work and like healing,

435
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:31,439
Speaker 1: I mean, it has to feel good to have it

436
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:34,400
Speaker 1: all bound up into one place of just like I mean,

437
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:40,720
Speaker 1: that's a really this is a whole journey documented from

438
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Speaker 1: a place that a lot of people are in. Yeah,

439
00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:46,080
Speaker 1: and I hope to go too. Well. I think there's

440
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:49,520
Speaker 1: something to be said to like, so we go back

441
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:51,879
Speaker 1: into things like I share a fight that Catherine and

442
00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:56,320
Speaker 1: I had way, I mean, when I was i'd broken

443
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:59,400
Speaker 1: up with when Brantley got me. You know, we talk

444
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:03,200
Speaker 1: about that, We talk about you and I hiding under

445
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:07,280
Speaker 1: a table in Los Angeles. So I go back and

446
00:21:07,359 --> 00:21:13,560
Speaker 1: tell stories because I think sharing those stories help under

447
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:19,040
Speaker 1: like help the reader understand like, Okay, what my like

448
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:21,600
Speaker 1: why I've done certain things, and like how it's led

449
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:24,000
Speaker 1: to like this, but also like the things that like

450
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,719
Speaker 1: in me deep rooted that I needed to like change

451
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:29,480
Speaker 1: to really get to the other side to have my

452
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:35,639
Speaker 1: next chapter. So like, so proud, ye, thank you. I

453
00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:37,480
Speaker 1: I gotta be honest with you. It's like it was

454
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:39,280
Speaker 1: supposed to come out in September. We pushed it and

455
00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:41,520
Speaker 1: I'm just like I just want it out because I've

456
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:44,120
Speaker 1: when I read it now, so I've made a bunch

457
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:45,919
Speaker 1: of passes on the book. So in the beginning it

458
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,320
Speaker 1: was very much like it was kind of angry, if

459
00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:50,960
Speaker 1: I'm be honest, It's like I was still angry, and

460
00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:52,880
Speaker 1: I can see now where she meant like, you need

461
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:56,320
Speaker 1: some time because now I've done like so many passes

462
00:21:56,320 --> 00:22:00,600
Speaker 1: on it that it's so great to see, like, actually,

463
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:03,240
Speaker 1: how you heal more because now I'm two and a

464
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:07,720
Speaker 1: half years removed from being in this place, So it's like,

465
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:10,359
Speaker 1: you know, I have them a little bit more perspective,

466
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:12,639
Speaker 1: which I know I'll have way more then. But like

467
00:22:13,119 --> 00:22:16,679
Speaker 1: you know, for anyone that's going through a divorce or

468
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:18,600
Speaker 1: you know, like how did I know or.

469
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:20,960
Speaker 2: I don't know.

470
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:22,879
Speaker 1: There's just there's a lot of things in there. I

471
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:25,440
Speaker 1: think people will can relate to whether they're going through

472
00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:26,040
Speaker 1: divorce or not.

473
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:27,560
Speaker 2: But it's just a.

474
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:31,000
Speaker 1: It's what I would have loved to have read to

475
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:33,879
Speaker 1: not Okay, this is all normal feelings and I'm not

476
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:35,600
Speaker 1: going to feel great the first month, but I might

477
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:37,200
Speaker 1: be better in the end.

478
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:40,240
Speaker 5: I really think I was, actually well, I had started

479
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,680
Speaker 5: reading it when you first started and then I stopped.

480
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:45,919
Speaker 5: I was like, I'm gonna wait, and that's interesting. You

481
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:48,760
Speaker 5: were a lot more angry than than now. But I'm

482
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:52,600
Speaker 5: not done yet. But I started reading it yesterday in

483
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:54,720
Speaker 5: the hair salon while I was getting my hair blown

484
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:56,440
Speaker 5: out crying in the chair.

485
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,239
Speaker 2: Okay, well, this is embarrassing. Catherine just has a lot

486
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:03,560
Speaker 2: of access. Well, yeah, she's making ring boxes. She will.

487
00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:05,440
Speaker 4: Obviously I would have the book before you would.

488
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:08,600
Speaker 5: It's I'm just kidding, yeah, but I would not even

489
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:11,640
Speaker 5: I'm sorry.

490
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:12,600
Speaker 2: But what I was going to say, there's three of

491
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:13,959
Speaker 2: us on a couch, I know.

492
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:17,359
Speaker 5: But what I was going to say was the back

493
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:20,720
Speaker 5: stories are what are so powerful in this book of

494
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:25,480
Speaker 5: really explaining a lot of things about you, you know

495
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,280
Speaker 5: what I mean. Like that's where I think it doesn't

496
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:29,560
Speaker 5: have to just be about a divorce necessarily. I think

497
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:32,120
Speaker 5: it can definitely, like so many people can benefit from

498
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:34,800
Speaker 5: this book, but it just it just explained you so well.

499
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:37,480
Speaker 5: And it's like even though some of those backstories they're

500
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:39,000
Speaker 5: hard to read. I mean, it's hard for me to

501
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:42,080
Speaker 5: even read some of it, you know, but it's also

502
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,399
Speaker 5: so like uplifting at the same time. I don't know,

503
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:47,000
Speaker 5: it's really hard to explain. But I'm so proud of you.

504
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:49,560
Speaker 2: Thank you well you the framework you think.

505
00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:52,320
Speaker 1: Thanks And I also want to be like, this is

506
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:58,760
Speaker 1: not like a I'm oh my god, she won't shut

507
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:01,199
Speaker 1: up about the mic stuff has This book is not

508
00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:06,199
Speaker 1: about Mike. There are a few stories and about you

509
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:10,080
Speaker 1: know how I like, well, a, you know what, actually

510
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:14,800
Speaker 1: the final moment and then you know, I kind of

511
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:17,000
Speaker 1: a story before that's just like how did I not

512
00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:17,840
Speaker 1: see it was coming?

513
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:19,119
Speaker 2: And kind of like that.

514
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:21,000
Speaker 1: But like, the book is not like the book is

515
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:24,399
Speaker 1: about me, like you said, my past, the things that

516
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:26,679
Speaker 1: I've had to work on, the things that like I

517
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:29,800
Speaker 1: needed to open my eyes too, And that's something where

518
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:33,639
Speaker 1: I really I'm proud of how it changed because at

519
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:35,520
Speaker 1: first I was angry and I was it was more

520
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:37,160
Speaker 1: about like art, but I was like, I don't want

521
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:39,239
Speaker 1: it to be about him, like because it's not. At

522
00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:40,960
Speaker 1: the end of the day, it's not about him. It's

523
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:43,000
Speaker 1: about me. It's about my journey. It's about you know.

524
00:24:43,119 --> 00:24:45,360
Speaker 1: And it's like I also want to protect my kids too,

525
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:46,720
Speaker 1: so I took a lot of stuff out that I'm

526
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,280
Speaker 1: like that doesn't really need to be there anymore. And

527
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:50,479
Speaker 1: like we're okay, we privately handled that, and like, you know,

528
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:53,200
Speaker 1: so it's like I've had to I had to tell

529
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:55,160
Speaker 1: them obviously that I had a book coming out, and

530
00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:57,960
Speaker 1: you know, that was a really tough conversation. But I

531
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:03,320
Speaker 1: told him it was like I think you'll be like

532
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:05,280
Speaker 1: I mean, you're not going to be like I was like,

533
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:08,160
Speaker 1: you deserve to have like a new and he even said,

534
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:09,880
Speaker 1: he was like, you know, I'd love to maybe come

535
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:13,879
Speaker 1: on one day and like talk and he's like, let

536
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:15,040
Speaker 1: you let me think about it. And I was like, well,

537
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,480
Speaker 1: let's just yeah, the mean way we can discuss like

538
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:20,320
Speaker 1: you know when like later this year or something. And

539
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:23,320
Speaker 1: because again, like I kept saying, like the book is

540
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:25,720
Speaker 1: not about Yes, there's some stories and some experiences, but

541
00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:28,439
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's not like it all reflects anytime I

542
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:31,520
Speaker 1: say anything about you or about you whatever. I'd be like,

543
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:32,760
Speaker 1: I bet he felt suffocated.

544
00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:34,359
Speaker 2: I bet. Like so I'm like, I.

545
00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:38,239
Speaker 1: The ownership is just the biggest piece of this. So

546
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:40,159
Speaker 1: that's where I'm just like I want people to know

547
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:42,480
Speaker 1: that they're not coming for like yeah, fine, you'll find

548
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:43,919
Speaker 1: out what happened at the end of our marriage, but

549
00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:47,600
Speaker 1: like you know you guys already know you know what

550
00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:48,119
Speaker 1: I mean.

551
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:48,760
Speaker 4: Like like like.

552
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:53,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's you know, it's not as so it's like

553
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,640
Speaker 1: it's truly like my journey, and you know, some things

554
00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:57,520
Speaker 1: that were really hard to walk through and some things

555
00:25:57,520 --> 00:25:58,800
Speaker 1: that I was like I wish I would have done

556
00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:02,040
Speaker 1: better on, and so I'm really excited about it and

557
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:05,679
Speaker 1: I could not have. And there's a chapter in there

558
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:08,560
Speaker 1: two where and I did some like massive work on site.

559
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:11,760
Speaker 1: I talk about that and like there's no piece of

560
00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:14,720
Speaker 1: that journey could have been done without you, guys. So

561
00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 1: I just love you guys, and I appreciate you guys.

562
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:19,840
Speaker 2: Oh we love you too.

563
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:24,359
Speaker 1: Just you know that I appreciate everything. And I'm just

564
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:29,119
Speaker 1: really proud of you. Thank you, like even just the

565
00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:31,439
Speaker 1: I mean all of it. And I have said that

566
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:35,760
Speaker 1: a million times, we both have, but I mean, Kat

567
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:39,360
Speaker 1: and I even have had conversations privately about you and

568
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:40,560
Speaker 1: just the growth, like.

569
00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:45,160
Speaker 2: Just the differences. Thanks.

570
00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:49,800
Speaker 1: Well, you can read the next chapter October twenty four,

571
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:53,800
Speaker 1: twenty fourth, so you can pre order. I'm doing signing

572
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:57,080
Speaker 1: with it's all like on the stories today I'll be

573
00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:59,639
Speaker 1: posting a bunch about it. But I can't wait for

574
00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:01,919
Speaker 1: you guys to read it. It's been a book of

575
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:06,000
Speaker 1: love and labor. So love and labor, love, labor of love, labor,

576
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:08,800
Speaker 1: it's a labor of love. Better you know, leave it

577
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:10,040
Speaker 1: to me tovest those things up.

578
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:12,080
Speaker 4: She's a great writer.

579
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:14,920
Speaker 1: Oh you know, what's something that I actually just I

580
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:18,199
Speaker 1: got to have one final pass again, and so I

581
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:20,920
Speaker 1: put some things in and something there was a quote

582
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:23,160
Speaker 1: that I heard actually at church, and I put it in,

583
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:26,320
Speaker 1: but you grip the Titus before you let go mm.

584
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:31,040
Speaker 2: And that one, Wow, I'm gonna need a minute with

585
00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:31,560
Speaker 2: that one.

586
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:34,639
Speaker 1: And so that I just put that in to start

587
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:37,200
Speaker 1: off the first chapter. But I was just like, because

588
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:37,840
Speaker 1: it's so true.

589
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:44,040
Speaker 2: Wow, good, Wow, all right, guys, pay thank you.

590
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:46,280
Speaker 1: I hope you guys love it. Pre order it so

591
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:49,080
Speaker 1: you can get it an assigned one. And that was

592
00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:50,680
Speaker 1: that's today's show, y'all.

593
00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:54,159
Speaker 2: Ye doctor Eli Hi