1
00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:03,040
Speaker 1: This is John, this is Sam, your og Okay Storytime

2
00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:06,920
Speaker 1: podcast hosts, and we have some spectacular stories coming up.

3
00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:09,080
Speaker 2: But real quick, we got a two minute break from

4
00:00:09,119 --> 00:00:11,320
Speaker 2: our lovely sponsors keeping this ship sailing.

5
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,880
Speaker 3: My dad wants me to take a DNA test because

6
00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:16,640
Speaker 3: my mom had an affair.

7
00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:18,880
Speaker 1: Oooh boy man.

8
00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:22,160
Speaker 3: A month ago, I nineteen mail found out my mom

9
00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:25,079
Speaker 3: had an affair around the time I was conceived.

10
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:26,120
Speaker 2: Hey hikes.

11
00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:28,600
Speaker 3: A couple of days later, my dad asked me if

12
00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:32,080
Speaker 3: i'd be willing to take a DNA test ouch ouch.

13
00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:34,600
Speaker 3: This was hard on me growing up. I always felt

14
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:37,120
Speaker 3: like my dad like my brother's more than me. No,

15
00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:40,040
Speaker 3: he would always be more interested in doing things with them.

16
00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:42,560
Speaker 3: I just thought it was because he had different personalities.

17
00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:44,840
Speaker 3: I never thought that it might be because I wasn't

18
00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:48,479
Speaker 3: his biological son. Wow. By the way, this comes from

19
00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:51,519
Speaker 3: Legitimate Dinner three seven five on the Okay Storytime Separate.

20
00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:53,640
Speaker 3: So when my dad asked for the DNA test, I

21
00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:55,280
Speaker 3: told him I didn't want to do it. I don't

22
00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:57,400
Speaker 3: want to know, and I don't want him to think

23
00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:59,360
Speaker 3: differently of me if it turns out I'm not as

24
00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:02,000
Speaker 3: biological son. He told me that he wouldn't think differently

25
00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:03,640
Speaker 3: of me and was just ready to know the truth.

26
00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:06,000
Speaker 3: It seems like he already thinks differently about peace.

27
00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:08,080
Speaker 1: Right, So I don't even know if this will change anything.

28
00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:08,320
Speaker 4: Yeah.

29
00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:10,280
Speaker 3: I told him that I didn't believe him because I

30
00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:12,399
Speaker 3: felt that he always liked my brothers more than me,

31
00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:14,120
Speaker 3: and I asked him if it was because he didn't

32
00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:16,520
Speaker 3: think I was his. He told me that this was

33
00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:18,720
Speaker 3: his first time hearing that, and told me that he

34
00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:20,839
Speaker 3: loved us all equally. He said that he was hurt

35
00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:22,960
Speaker 3: that I thought he didn't like me and never went

36
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,160
Speaker 3: to him about it. He said that the possibility of

37
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:27,720
Speaker 3: me not being his never left his mind, but he

38
00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:29,520
Speaker 3: just couldn't connect with me as well as he could

39
00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:32,479
Speaker 3: with my brothers and apologize for making me feel that way.

40
00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:34,360
Speaker 3: This didn't make me feel any better.

41
00:01:34,959 --> 00:01:35,520
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, I.

42
00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:38,560
Speaker 3: Mean there's not much you could say that would probably.

43
00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:40,800
Speaker 3: He asked again for a DNA test, and I told

44
00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:42,600
Speaker 3: him that I did not want one and I wasn't

45
00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:44,840
Speaker 3: going to change my mind. What would it change? Like,

46
00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:47,680
Speaker 3: you already know that she cheated on you, It's been

47
00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:48,640
Speaker 3: nineteen years.

48
00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:51,840
Speaker 1: What would it change, right? Why do you need that DNA? Test.

49
00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:53,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like I was thinking like the only thing it

50
00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:55,840
Speaker 4: would be was to prove that he was true. But

51
00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:58,320
Speaker 4: if he already knows, then are you planning on treating

52
00:01:58,360 --> 00:01:59,360
Speaker 4: him differently or something?

53
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,960
Speaker 1: Or I feels like you're playing and treating him differently. Yeah.

54
00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:04,320
Speaker 3: When I told him that, he told me that he

55
00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:06,320
Speaker 3: understood and to let him know if I ever did.

56
00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:09,000
Speaker 3: A couple of days after that, my brothers basically tried

57
00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:11,280
Speaker 3: to confront me about it. They told me that they

58
00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:14,480
Speaker 3: talk to dad and they believe that I'm being selfish.

59
00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:15,200
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.

60
00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:17,720
Speaker 3: They said it's been on his mind for years and

61
00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:19,480
Speaker 3: he has a right to know, and so do they.

62
00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:21,760
Speaker 3: They said I should at least give my DNA sample

63
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:24,000
Speaker 3: to our dad so he can know, but I don't

64
00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,840
Speaker 3: want to do that. What I'm currently not speaking with

65
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,320
Speaker 3: my mom and I don't plan to anytime soon. I'm

66
00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:31,200
Speaker 3: pretty sure my brothers and my dad are upset with

67
00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:33,320
Speaker 3: me too. My dad is telling me he's not upset

68
00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:35,760
Speaker 3: and he understands, but the way my brothers are acting,

69
00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:37,960
Speaker 3: I'm not really sure. My boyfriend told me that he

70
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,519
Speaker 3: sees both sides, but thinks my dad does have a

71
00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:42,760
Speaker 3: right to know and thinks I should just do it

72
00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:45,480
Speaker 3: because it's just prolonging the inevitable. I don't think I'm

73
00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:47,919
Speaker 3: prolonging anything because I never want to find out. If

74
00:02:47,919 --> 00:02:50,200
Speaker 3: my dad says he wouldn't change the way he'll treat me,

75
00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:53,160
Speaker 3: I don't think the test is necessary. Well, in the comments,

76
00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:55,560
Speaker 3: SV Paladin says, did I read that right? You've been

77
00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:57,400
Speaker 3: pretty much the black cheep of the family due to

78
00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:00,280
Speaker 3: questions of your paternity for your whole life so far,

79
00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:03,959
Speaker 3: and dad promised that not much will change support availability

80
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:06,960
Speaker 3: connection wise if you test and it confirms his fear.

81
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:09,840
Speaker 3: My only question would be how would he react if

82
00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:13,120
Speaker 3: you are his confirmed by DNA, especially since he admits

83
00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:15,760
Speaker 3: that you two didn't click due to the paternity issue,

84
00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:18,639
Speaker 3: making you that second class kid in your own house.

85
00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:20,840
Speaker 3: I'd lean to have the test, if only to confirm

86
00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:23,720
Speaker 3: medical histories, and if you aren't his, maybe find your

87
00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:26,760
Speaker 3: biofather true. Opie says, yeah, I guess so. I was

88
00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:29,040
Speaker 3: always closer to my mom growing up. My dad and

89
00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:31,440
Speaker 3: my brothers all shared the same interests, and I was

90
00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:33,680
Speaker 3: never into any of the things they liked. I'm not

91
00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:35,800
Speaker 3: sure how he'd react if I am his, but I

92
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:38,040
Speaker 3: truly feel that he wouldn't want anything to do with

93
00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:40,680
Speaker 3: me if I'm not, and that's what I'm scared of.

94
00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:43,720
Speaker 3: Biz buzz Bop says, if you're not his and that

95
00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:45,960
Speaker 3: causes him to not want anything to do with you,

96
00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:48,600
Speaker 3: then you're better off. Anyone who could raise a child

97
00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:50,680
Speaker 3: as their own, even if they had doubt and cut

98
00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:52,200
Speaker 3: them off like that for something out.

99
00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:54,400
Speaker 1: Of their control is heartless and you deserve better.

100
00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:57,320
Speaker 3: Update four months later, before we get.

101
00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:00,520
Speaker 4: Into it, what do you think I think that didn't

102
00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:03,000
Speaker 4: Opie said that the father found out like later, like

103
00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:05,320
Speaker 4: because OPI asked the dad like, hey, is this why

104
00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:07,440
Speaker 4: you've been kind of like weird towards me my whole life?

105
00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,920
Speaker 4: And he's like, no, I didn't know that until like recently.

106
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,240
Speaker 4: But then I said that like a few years ago

107
00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:14,600
Speaker 4: he found out that It did kind of sound like

108
00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:18,760
Speaker 4: he was saying, I didn't know that you felt that way,

109
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:19,800
Speaker 4: but I did, Like.

110
00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:22,160
Speaker 3: Yes, that is the reason. That's really kind of how

111
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,400
Speaker 3: I read it, unless I don't know. Yeah, I mean,

112
00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:25,320
Speaker 3: he look back, but I don't.

113
00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:27,360
Speaker 4: I thought he was like he was like no, like

114
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:30,800
Speaker 4: I love everyone equally, but like I'm upset that like

115
00:04:30,839 --> 00:04:33,080
Speaker 4: you didn't bring this up or something sooner, but then

116
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,400
Speaker 4: that this was his first time here, so I felt

117
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,919
Speaker 4: that he always liked my brothers more than me.

118
00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:38,800
Speaker 3: Asked him if it was because he didn't think I

119
00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:40,440
Speaker 3: was his. He told me that this was his first

120
00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:41,960
Speaker 3: time hearing that, and told me that he loved us

121
00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:43,520
Speaker 3: all equally. He said that he was hurt that I

122
00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:45,400
Speaker 3: thought he didn't like me and never went to him

123
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:47,840
Speaker 3: about it. He said that the possibility of me not

124
00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:50,840
Speaker 3: being his never left his mind, but he just couldn't

125
00:04:50,839 --> 00:04:52,520
Speaker 3: connect with me as well as he could with my

126
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:54,719
Speaker 3: brother's an apologies. That's where it gets confusing, I think.

127
00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:57,640
Speaker 3: So we don't know quite how long he was.

128
00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:00,719
Speaker 4: But Opie also did say that like a years ago

129
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:03,400
Speaker 4: he found this out, So maybe in those few years

130
00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:06,760
Speaker 4: he couldn't stop thinking about it, and then now he's thinking, Okay,

131
00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:10,800
Speaker 4: I would get the paternity test, not tell anyone, keep

132
00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:13,120
Speaker 4: it to myself, and then if it comes back that

133
00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:15,159
Speaker 4: he is my father, I would hide it. Yeah, or

134
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,000
Speaker 4: maybe I would tell him I got it and it

135
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:19,839
Speaker 4: turns out you're not my dad. If he starts treating

136
00:05:19,839 --> 00:05:23,320
Speaker 4: you differently, then Christmas comes around. If you celebrate Christmas,

137
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:27,240
Speaker 4: Christmas morning. Bam, that's your present saying that you are

138
00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:28,680
Speaker 4: my dad and what have you been doing?

139
00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:31,160
Speaker 1: You've been treating me differently. I knew it. And then

140
00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:33,400
Speaker 1: then that could be a whole deal. You can ruin Christmas.

141
00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,960
Speaker 4: It's fine, just say just pull the whole like Christmas

142
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:39,400
Speaker 4: is canceled, you know what I mean. Or or if

143
00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:41,600
Speaker 4: you get the test comes back that he's not your dad,

144
00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:43,800
Speaker 4: just keep that a secret. So keep it a secret both,

145
00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:45,919
Speaker 4: Just keep it a secret both days about what it is,

146
00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:49,640
Speaker 4: whatever it is, whatever the results are. Yeah, I agree,

147
00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:52,720
Speaker 4: and then just like throw it in his face like, yeah,

148
00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:56,320
Speaker 4: I'm not actually your son or he Actually don't know

149
00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:57,920
Speaker 4: if I would ever tell him that one.

150
00:05:58,040 --> 00:05:59,720
Speaker 1: If I wasn't, I don't know. See I would think

151
00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:02,360
Speaker 1: about that. But if you were, I.

152
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,440
Speaker 3: Think finding the biofather is also I think that's a

153
00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:08,480
Speaker 3: great possible outcome of this update. Four months later, after

154
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:10,719
Speaker 3: a lot of back and forth, I decided to go

155
00:06:10,839 --> 00:06:12,880
Speaker 3: through with then.

156
00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:17,080
Speaker 1: Let's find out. Yeah, honestly, I was like, I understand

157
00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:18,360
Speaker 1: why you wouldn't want to go through, but also I

158
00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:20,760
Speaker 1: want to know. I just I'm so curious.

159
00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,960
Speaker 3: I felt pressured and just gave in I'm sorry.

160
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:23,400
Speaker 1: That sucks.

161
00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:26,880
Speaker 3: I was terrified and I regretted doing it. Initially. I

162
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,800
Speaker 3: was scared to know and scared of what would happen

163
00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:30,960
Speaker 3: if I wasn't actually my dad's I was feeling a

164
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:33,560
Speaker 3: lot of feelings and often cried waiting for the results.

165
00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:36,719
Speaker 1: And that's so hard put what you think if you think.

166
00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:40,080
Speaker 3: Op is actually their dad's childs in the comments?

167
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,080
Speaker 1: You got it a drum roll? Okay, what's your guest

168
00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:42,920
Speaker 1: before you find out?

169
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,800
Speaker 3: I think op is. I think Opie is the dads.

170
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,719
Speaker 1: I think so too. I think so too. Yeah, let's see,

171
00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:49,320
Speaker 1: let's see.

172
00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:51,800
Speaker 3: When the results came in it turned out that he

173
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:58,120
Speaker 3: is my dad. Yeah, that's on you, dad, Yeah, mistreateder

174
00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:02,159
Speaker 3: child for nineteen years literally, or maybe I'm embarrassing. Yeah,

175
00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:05,800
Speaker 3: that is so embarrassing, so embarrassing. Wow, that's exactly what

176
00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:08,120
Speaker 3: I wanted. But it still felt wrong.

177
00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:08,320
Speaker 1: In a way.

178
00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:10,760
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm not sure i'd explain it. I just felt

179
00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:13,360
Speaker 3: and still feel sad. I know he said nothing would change,

180
00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:15,120
Speaker 3: but I know things would have. I just felt that

181
00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:17,360
Speaker 3: if he knew I wasn't his, he wouldn't want anything

182
00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:19,920
Speaker 3: to do with me, not that he has anyway. When

183
00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:22,120
Speaker 3: I originally wrote my post, I said I wouldn't talk

184
00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:23,360
Speaker 3: to my mom anytime soon.

185
00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:23,800
Speaker 1: I lied.

186
00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:25,720
Speaker 3: I think I started talking to her about two wish

187
00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:28,800
Speaker 3: weeks after, not exactly sure. I wanted answers and kind

188
00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:30,680
Speaker 3: of to understand her a little bit more. My mom

189
00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:32,400
Speaker 3: and I are still not as close as we used

190
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,280
Speaker 3: to be, but not talking to her either and made

191
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:36,320
Speaker 3: me sad as well. So I'm kind of in the middle.

192
00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:38,600
Speaker 3: I was never close with my dad or my brothers,

193
00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:40,920
Speaker 3: so when I lost that trust in connection with my mom,

194
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,119
Speaker 3: I really only had my boyfriend left. If I didn't

195
00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:44,920
Speaker 3: have him, I would genuinely.

196
00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:45,520
Speaker 1: Feel alone right now.

197
00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:47,480
Speaker 3: But you will never have to feel alone if you

198
00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:49,920
Speaker 3: join us live every week dead through pmpst on YouTube,

199
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,880
Speaker 3: Facebook and TikTok just topper profile were there for you.

200
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,400
Speaker 3: That's kind of what I was thinking actually, when he

201
00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:57,760
Speaker 3: mentioned that he was that they were always closer to

202
00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:01,160
Speaker 3: their mom, I was like, Wow, to lose that relationship

203
00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:02,600
Speaker 3: with your mom and also do not really have a

204
00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:03,720
Speaker 3: relationship with your dad.

205
00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:05,840
Speaker 4: And your brother, Yeah, that is really hard because it

206
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:08,320
Speaker 4: really is just like if he was pressured to take

207
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,960
Speaker 4: this test, like it really just is like why would

208
00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:13,160
Speaker 4: you need it, Yeah, like like I don't we ask

209
00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,080
Speaker 4: that so much like in the beginning, but it still

210
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:16,960
Speaker 4: is just like it's so unnecessary.

211
00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:18,960
Speaker 1: And now it's like, okay, yeah it's a proof, like

212
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:19,800
Speaker 1: I am your.

213
00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:22,640
Speaker 3: Son, but now me, yeah, you haven't treated me like that, right,

214
00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:25,400
Speaker 3: So it's just sad either way. Yeah, like I want

215
00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:27,880
Speaker 3: to I want to know what the dad feels now

216
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:30,720
Speaker 3: that he too, he knows. My dad has been trying,

217
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:33,000
Speaker 3: and I appreciate that in a way. He keeps trying

218
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:34,880
Speaker 3: to invite me to places and stuff. I went a

219
00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:37,160
Speaker 3: few times, but I kind of just feel out of place.

220
00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:39,559
Speaker 3: He rarely did this before the test, and it's making

221
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:41,280
Speaker 3: me sad that he's doing it now. When I hang

222
00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:43,920
Speaker 3: out with him, it feels forced. My boyfriend tries to

223
00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:45,400
Speaker 3: tell me that I might be making it up in

224
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:47,120
Speaker 3: my head, and I might be, but I don't know

225
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,600
Speaker 3: how to address it with my dad. On the bright side,

226
00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:51,160
Speaker 3: my family did apologize to me.

227
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:52,080
Speaker 1: Well that's good.

228
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:55,240
Speaker 3: I guess it's such a such a mixed bag for

229
00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:57,680
Speaker 3: I'm ashore for op to be like, oh, yeah, I

230
00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:00,040
Speaker 3: am your child, but also you've been mistreating me my

231
00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,800
Speaker 3: whole lifestyle right right, Oh for nothing. Yeah, like it's

232
00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:05,040
Speaker 3: it's kind of like trying to create a relationship because

233
00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:05,560
Speaker 3: you have to.

234
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:07,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like, oh, that's left. But it's like, why

235
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:09,440
Speaker 1: didn't you want to do that so hard?

236
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:10,320
Speaker 4: Right?

237
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:11,760
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.

238
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:15,440
Speaker 4: At least the family did apologize. That is good, and

239
00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:17,600
Speaker 4: it's good that he seems like he's making an effort.

240
00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:21,360
Speaker 4: It's just sad that it's very late in this life.

241
00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:25,720
Speaker 1: But hopefully things can kind of eventually.

242
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:29,080
Speaker 4: Actually grow into like a natural, relaxed, not forced relationship.

243
00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:33,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, crossing her fingers. But that's Canada story, So we'll

244
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,000
Speaker 3: see you next time.

245
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:37,480
Speaker 4: My wife tragically passed away after having our son. Then

246
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:41,000
Speaker 4: her friend flipped my life upside down.

247
00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:44,240
Speaker 1: They've already had their life flipped upside down.

248
00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:47,960
Speaker 4: I'm thinking, oh my goodness, the situation is nothing short

249
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,960
Speaker 4: of a cluster f I'm angry, depressed, and sad, and

250
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,240
Speaker 4: I don't know what to do. This is a throwaway

251
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,960
Speaker 4: I dirty two male, am shattered and I don't know

252
00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:59,120
Speaker 4: where to turn. My wife passed away last month, only

253
00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:01,840
Speaker 4: seven months after giving birth to her son. She developed

254
00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:05,440
Speaker 4: perry Partam cardiomyopathy, a rare and severe form of heart

255
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:08,280
Speaker 4: failure that can occur in the month's following childbirth.

256
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:09,080
Speaker 1: That's terrifying.

257
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:12,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, and despite the doctor's best efforts, she didn't survive.

258
00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:15,200
Speaker 4: Losing her so suddenly has left me heartbroken and in

259
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:18,920
Speaker 4: a state of constant grief, like just after having a child.

260
00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:22,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, is much a parent and also handled that grief.

261
00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:23,840
Speaker 1: Yes, Oh my gosh.

262
00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:26,160
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from a boring committee nine

263
00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:28,640
Speaker 4: five nine on the r slash okay story time Sepreddit. So,

264
00:10:28,679 --> 00:10:31,280
Speaker 4: three weeks ago, my wife's best friend came over to visit.

265
00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,839
Speaker 4: She was visibly nervous and eventually told me she had

266
00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:36,840
Speaker 4: something sensitive to share. After some hesitation, she revealed that

267
00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:39,360
Speaker 4: my wife had confided in her that she had been

268
00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:40,839
Speaker 4: unfaithful around the.

269
00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:43,400
Speaker 1: Time our son was conceived, and that there was a

270
00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:48,280
Speaker 1: chance he might not be mine. Oh my gosh, do

271
00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:51,480
Speaker 1: you tell him that? See, that's what I was saying at.

272
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:53,920
Speaker 3: First, But I guess because it might not be his, right,

273
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,200
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying. If it was just that she

274
00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:59,640
Speaker 3: was cheating, they like, don't, don't say it, But because

275
00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:02,280
Speaker 3: it might not be his Yeah.

276
00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:06,000
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh. Oh that's hard. I feel like that

277
00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:09,000
Speaker 4: would be something to say. Yeah, I think my au

278
00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:13,240
Speaker 4: so yeah, Oh boy. I was stunned and angry. My

279
00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:16,000
Speaker 4: wife's best friend was telling me this only weeks after

280
00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,120
Speaker 4: my wife's death, and it felt like an attempt to

281
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:20,520
Speaker 4: tarnish her memory. I couldn't believe it. I told her

282
00:11:20,559 --> 00:11:23,080
Speaker 4: to leave and to not come back, convinced she was

283
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:24,840
Speaker 4: lying or trying to shift.

284
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:25,240
Speaker 1: Blame onto me.

285
00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:27,800
Speaker 4: Somehow, the whole thing felt like a betrayal, and I

286
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:29,719
Speaker 4: tried to push the thought out of my mind, but

287
00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:32,280
Speaker 4: once the idea was planted, it wouldn't go away. I

288
00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:34,520
Speaker 4: kept wondering what if she was telling the truth. After

289
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:38,040
Speaker 4: days of tormenting myself with this possibility, I decided to get.

290
00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:38,800
Speaker 1: A DNA test.

291
00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:41,640
Speaker 4: It wasn't an easy decision. I felt guilty for even

292
00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:45,319
Speaker 4: considering it, but I needed closure. Yesterday, the results came back.

293
00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:50,240
Speaker 4: My worst fears were confirmed. My son isn't biologically mine.

294
00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:55,719
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, it's going through so much. This is crazy.

295
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:59,960
Speaker 1: Oh man, Wow, now I'm in turmoil.

296
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:02,280
Speaker 4: I loved my wife, and I wanted to believe that

297
00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:04,240
Speaker 4: our son was a piece of her and me together,

298
00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:07,040
Speaker 4: But knowing he's not biologically mine has left me feeling

299
00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:09,920
Speaker 4: lost and betrayed. I keep looking at him, trying to

300
00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:12,280
Speaker 4: feel the same bond. But the pain of my wife's

301
00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:14,960
Speaker 4: infidelity is so fresh, and I don't know if I'll

302
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:17,240
Speaker 4: ever be able to move past it. I feel awful

303
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,320
Speaker 4: even considering it. But I don't know if I can

304
00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:22,319
Speaker 4: raise him on my own. The betrayal I feel is overwhelming,

305
00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:24,280
Speaker 4: and I don't know if I'm capable of giving him

306
00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:26,880
Speaker 4: the love and care he deserves. It's breaking my heart

307
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:29,000
Speaker 4: and I feel like a failure. But I also feel

308
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,240
Speaker 4: like I'm not equipped to give him the life he deserves.

309
00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:33,360
Speaker 4: So am I the A whole? And there is an edit?

310
00:12:33,679 --> 00:12:35,520
Speaker 1: But what do we think? There's a couple edits.

311
00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:37,600
Speaker 3: I don't think you're the A hole. I don't think

312
00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:41,080
Speaker 3: they'd raise a child who's I mean, not biologically yours.

313
00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:45,000
Speaker 3: You're also grieving, yeah, and found out that your child,

314
00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:45,680
Speaker 3: who you thought was.

315
00:12:45,679 --> 00:12:47,000
Speaker 1: Your right isn't yours.

316
00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:49,640
Speaker 4: There's so many layers today, because then it's already like,

317
00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:53,520
Speaker 4: even if the wife survived the birth, that's already in

318
00:12:53,559 --> 00:12:54,400
Speaker 4: fidelity that he.

319
00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:55,960
Speaker 1: Would have to deal with.

320
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:59,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, And then the fact that like grieving someone, in

321
00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:01,840
Speaker 4: mourning over someone and that you realized had done you wrong,

322
00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:04,680
Speaker 4: that you didn't know until afterward.

323
00:13:05,679 --> 00:13:06,880
Speaker 1: That's already something.

324
00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:08,880
Speaker 4: And then of course, you know, adding the baby on

325
00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:11,320
Speaker 4: top of it, it's like that's just so much to

326
00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:13,920
Speaker 4: deal with. And then also like actually taking care of

327
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:18,760
Speaker 4: the baby is like so mentally emotional, physically exhausting. Yeah, wow,

328
00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:20,720
Speaker 4: that's a lot. I don't think of a hole though.

329
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:23,959
Speaker 4: I think that's understandable with everything that's doing on.

330
00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:26,240
Speaker 3: How do you like there? I don't think there is

331
00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:30,320
Speaker 3: any right path in that situation. Yeah, that's very hard.

332
00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:33,360
Speaker 4: That's a lot, but there's some edits, so let's get

333
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,400
Speaker 4: into it. Ed And number one, I hadn't thought of

334
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:37,640
Speaker 4: contacting the friend, but I will now. The replies have

335
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:41,240
Speaker 4: really solified what I have been feeling. The child is innocent,

336
00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,200
Speaker 4: but I don't think I'll be able to love or

337
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,240
Speaker 4: care for him as well as I should. Informing the

338
00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:48,199
Speaker 4: family will be my first step. Then contacting the AP

339
00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:51,360
Speaker 4: the affair partner if possible, adoption is going to be

340
00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:54,320
Speaker 4: my last resort. Many of you believe that I'm a monster,

341
00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:58,240
Speaker 4: but put yourself in my situation. I hope you all understand.

342
00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,880
Speaker 1: Not a monster, not a monster at all.

343
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,560
Speaker 3: And also the fact that you're like going through all

344
00:14:01,559 --> 00:14:04,440
Speaker 3: of these steps like first, talking friend, are you family,

345
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:07,320
Speaker 3: talking to the affair partner, like finding a suitable home

346
00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:08,080
Speaker 3: for this child?

347
00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:11,200
Speaker 1: Right right, You're doing everything right edit number two. So

348
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:12,320
Speaker 1: I called her friend.

349
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:15,400
Speaker 4: I apologize for my behavior, but also asked why she

350
00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:17,400
Speaker 4: did not inform me as soon as she knew.

351
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,520
Speaker 1: She said, her loyalty is laid with her friend more

352
00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:20,600
Speaker 1: than me. Okay, fine.

353
00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:23,320
Speaker 4: I asked her about the affair partner. She said she

354
00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:26,160
Speaker 4: doesn't know, as it was a one time thing. Apparently

355
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:29,280
Speaker 4: it had happened during her work time whatever that meant,

356
00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:32,120
Speaker 4: and during daytime, as she had been told. I mean,

357
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,960
Speaker 4: I'm not fully understanding, but it seems like she f

358
00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:35,600
Speaker 4: di guid.

359
00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:37,320
Speaker 1: When she was supposed to be working.

360
00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:39,640
Speaker 4: Many of you are suggesting I'd go through her phone

361
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:42,680
Speaker 4: or social contacts, but I don't know any passwords. I

362
00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:45,360
Speaker 4: never doubted her. We weren't controlling of each other and

363
00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:48,160
Speaker 4: had and gave plenty of privacy. The next step is

364
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:51,520
Speaker 4: informing the family, both mine and hers. I'm adding another thing.

365
00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:54,480
Speaker 4: I don't hate the baby, and I'm not so deranged

366
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:57,480
Speaker 4: that i'd throw him out of the house. Whatever happens happens.

367
00:14:57,520 --> 00:15:00,440
Speaker 4: According to the procedure. I'm not going to instantly abandon

368
00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:04,400
Speaker 4: a kid just because he isn't mine. In some relevant comments,

369
00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:07,120
Speaker 4: I know some things too, said not the A hole,

370
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,720
Speaker 4: it's not the child's fault. You should tell your wife's

371
00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:12,160
Speaker 4: family so that they can take him. Yeah, I worry

372
00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,600
Speaker 4: if you raise him, you'll always resent him. I'm so

373
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:17,360
Speaker 4: sorry for your loss and your wife's betrayal. Please get

374
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,880
Speaker 4: therapy so you can heal. Best of luck. Opie Blue

375
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:22,520
Speaker 4: Boost says, not the a hole, give her parents the

376
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:25,680
Speaker 4: grand baby decent Day seven seven one also says, not

377
00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,720
Speaker 4: the a whole. I'm sorry this has happened. Unfortunately, now

378
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:31,080
Speaker 4: he is a reminder of betrayal and a reminder that

379
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:33,320
Speaker 4: your life with your wife was a lie. It might

380
00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:35,520
Speaker 4: be best to put him up for adoption or let your

381
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:38,040
Speaker 4: wife's family take him. You will never have the bond

382
00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:40,440
Speaker 4: with him that you would have had if this truth

383
00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:44,000
Speaker 4: had not been uncovered. Opie says, I haven't told anyone

384
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,200
Speaker 4: about the test, however, I think it'd be best if

385
00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:47,360
Speaker 4: I do so immediately.

386
00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:50,000
Speaker 1: Desert Girl says social worker here.

387
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:53,040
Speaker 4: Since Opie was married at the time of the wife's death,

388
00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:55,240
Speaker 4: he is considered the legal father in the eyes of

389
00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:56,040
Speaker 4: the family court.

390
00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:57,080
Speaker 1: That's interesting.

391
00:15:57,680 --> 00:16:00,120
Speaker 4: At this time, DNA has established he is not the

392
00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:03,480
Speaker 4: biological father. Therefore, he will need to have his parental

393
00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:07,840
Speaker 4: rights terminated to avoid any legal responsibility to the affair child. Oh,

394
00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:10,760
Speaker 4: he needs to contact a family law attorney and start

395
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:14,680
Speaker 4: legal proceedings to identify the biofather and terminate his rights.

396
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:18,440
Speaker 4: There is an updates. But let's what do you think?

397
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:19,560
Speaker 4: What are you thinking something?

398
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:21,560
Speaker 3: He's doing the right things. I think he's talking to

399
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:23,840
Speaker 3: the family. I think it's yeah, finding the affair partner.

400
00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:25,760
Speaker 3: I think those are the first steps. Yeah, I think

401
00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:26,280
Speaker 3: that's crazy.

402
00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:28,280
Speaker 4: Do you think, like, I don't even know what we

403
00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:31,680
Speaker 4: would have to go on to like take away your

404
00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:34,760
Speaker 4: parental rights. I mean, it's all sorts of legal stuff. Yeah,

405
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,400
Speaker 4: I'm not even gonna be able to understand.

406
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:37,640
Speaker 1: But yeah, that's a lot.

407
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:39,920
Speaker 4: I feel like I would want to have some sort

408
00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:43,040
Speaker 4: of possible contact, but I wouldn't want to take care

409
00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:44,720
Speaker 4: of the child, you know what I mean? Like I

410
00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:47,440
Speaker 4: could see like wanting to give the child to the

411
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:51,000
Speaker 4: wife's family, but then being like cool with the wife's

412
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,600
Speaker 4: family still, so that like I don't know, Yeah, but

413
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:57,040
Speaker 4: then that feels weird too, because it's like I would Yeah,

414
00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:57,600
Speaker 4: I don't know.

415
00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:00,440
Speaker 1: That's just so much, so hard. Oh boy.

416
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:03,560
Speaker 4: So there's an update. Thanks to everyone who reached out

417
00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:05,600
Speaker 4: with advice and support. I didn't get to respond to

418
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:08,080
Speaker 4: every message, but I really appreciate it. After finding out

419
00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:10,760
Speaker 4: my son isn't biologically mine, I decided to tell both

420
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,240
Speaker 4: my family and my in laws. My family was shocked

421
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:16,119
Speaker 4: and angry about everything, but they stood by me. My

422
00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:18,560
Speaker 4: in laws were also shocked but didn't believe it at first.

423
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:20,960
Speaker 4: They asked to see the DNA test results, and after

424
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,359
Speaker 4: seeing them, they suggested we do a second test with

425
00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:25,040
Speaker 4: both families present, just to be sure.

426
00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:26,440
Speaker 1: That sounds like overhell, but whatever.

427
00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:29,080
Speaker 4: They said that if it confirmed he isn't mine, my

428
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,520
Speaker 4: late wife's sister, who has a four year old daughter,

429
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:34,040
Speaker 4: would adopt him, and I could take my name off

430
00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:36,680
Speaker 4: the birth certificate if I wanted to. I agreed, and

431
00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:39,200
Speaker 4: we did the test yesterday. Results should come in about

432
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,840
Speaker 4: a week. Honestly, I'm relieved with how things are playing out.

433
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:45,199
Speaker 4: There hasn't been any drama, and everyone's been understanding.

434
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:47,160
Speaker 1: God's die going through so much.

435
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:49,600
Speaker 4: Yes, I've also talked to a lawyer who said, getting

436
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:52,280
Speaker 4: my name off the certificate should be straightforward with the

437
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:52,960
Speaker 4: test results.

438
00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:55,520
Speaker 1: By the way, what's always straightforward is us going live

439
00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:58,840
Speaker 1: on YouTube every weekday at three PMPSD. Just tab our profile,

440
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:02,080
Speaker 1: baba can join us, join us, tap it. Yeah, there

441
00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:04,119
Speaker 1: is a little bit more. I'm just gonna jump into it.

442
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:05,960
Speaker 4: Thank you all again for the support and for those

443
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,560
Speaker 4: who offered to adopt him. I'm sorry, but your kindness

444
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:11,720
Speaker 4: means a lot. That's interesting. They're like, I'll adopt I

445
00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:15,639
Speaker 4: give it me. I'll update when the final results are in. Also,

446
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:18,280
Speaker 4: English is in my first language, so I use chatchbt

447
00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:21,359
Speaker 4: to help with formatting and phrasing and an edit for

448
00:18:21,359 --> 00:18:24,359
Speaker 4: those accusing me of karma farming. I'm going to delete

449
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:27,560
Speaker 4: this account after all this is over and that is

450
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:28,360
Speaker 4: the end.

451
00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:30,879
Speaker 1: Man oh man, Man oh man.

452
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:33,560
Speaker 3: That is just so much, and I think I think

453
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,280
Speaker 3: the what Op's doing is the right steps forward.

454
00:18:36,359 --> 00:18:39,160
Speaker 1: Yeah. Very hard though, and I'm sorry that's so hard.

455
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:43,359
Speaker 4: May you someday find someone that you trust and that

456
00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:45,320
Speaker 4: trusts you and doesn't cheat on you and you have

457
00:18:45,359 --> 00:18:48,160
Speaker 4: a lovely big family with them, if you so please.

458
00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:49,439
Speaker 1: But that's the end of that story.

459
00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:53,640
Speaker 3: So bend see you next time, Boom, I randomly decided

460
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:57,000
Speaker 3: to take a DNA test. Now my biological mother wants

461
00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:57,760
Speaker 3: to reconnect.

462
00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:01,600
Speaker 1: I mean, doesn't sound like that much of that sounds fun.

463
00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:04,000
Speaker 3: I'm a twenty four male who was adopted when I

464
00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:07,080
Speaker 3: was six years old. I've always felt incredibly lucky because

465
00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:09,440
Speaker 3: my adoptive parents, who were in their late twenties when

466
00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:11,880
Speaker 3: they took me in, have been nothing short of amazing.

467
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:14,119
Speaker 3: They've loved and supported me as if I were their

468
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:16,800
Speaker 3: own flesh and blood, and I've never felt like anything

469
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:19,119
Speaker 3: was missing in my life because of being adopted. By

470
00:19:19,119 --> 00:19:21,400
Speaker 3: the way, this comes from Purple Sunshine on the Okay

471
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:24,199
Speaker 3: storytime subured it so. Growing up, I had very minimal

472
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,800
Speaker 3: details about my adoption. I know that I was removed

473
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:29,760
Speaker 3: from my biological family by social services due to neglect

474
00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:32,280
Speaker 3: and abuse, but I don't remember anything about my life

475
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:35,200
Speaker 3: before I was adopted. It's not something I've dwelled on much,

476
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,800
Speaker 3: because I've never felt like I needed those missing pieces to.

477
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,280
Speaker 1: Feel complete or valued.

478
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:42,359
Speaker 3: Recently, out of simple curiosity, I decided to sign up

479
00:19:42,359 --> 00:19:44,560
Speaker 3: for one of those at home DNA testing kits. I

480
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,679
Speaker 3: wasn't looking for a reunion or any deep connection. I

481
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:50,000
Speaker 3: just wanted to know more about my genetic history, like

482
00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:52,800
Speaker 3: why I was removed from my biological family and if

483
00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:55,520
Speaker 3: there were any medical issues I should be aware of. Honestly,

484
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,320
Speaker 3: I didn't expect to find anyone closely related to me,

485
00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:00,199
Speaker 3: so it felt like a low stakes way to get

486
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:02,920
Speaker 3: some answers. About eight weeks after setting off the KITS,

487
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:06,200
Speaker 3: I finally remember to check the results, and to my surprise,

488
00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:08,880
Speaker 3: I matched with my biological mother.

489
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:09,440
Speaker 5: Wow.

490
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:12,160
Speaker 3: She had sent me a message saying she was overjoyed

491
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,359
Speaker 3: that I had done the test and that she desperately

492
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,280
Speaker 3: wanted to reconnect with me and the rest of my

493
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,320
Speaker 3: biological family. She mentioned that she thought of me every day,

494
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:21,720
Speaker 3: that I was always loved, and even that I have

495
00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,800
Speaker 3: a little biological brother who's very excited to meet me.

496
00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:25,800
Speaker 1: Something I didn't even know.

497
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:26,320
Speaker 3: Wow.

498
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:26,600
Speaker 1: Wow.

499
00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:30,480
Speaker 3: Her message was really emotional and to be honest, overwhelming

500
00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:33,560
Speaker 3: to me. She's a complete stranger, and reading those words

501
00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:36,600
Speaker 3: didn't stir anything in me other than discomfort. I spent

502
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:39,840
Speaker 3: a lot of time crafting a thoughtful response to birth mother,

503
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:43,800
Speaker 3: explaining that while I appreciated her message, I wasn't interested

504
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:45,960
Speaker 3: in forming a relationship with her. Or any of my

505
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:51,000
Speaker 3: biological family. Wow, dang, that's surprising. Yeah, well, I mean, like,

506
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:52,679
Speaker 3: I get it, you don't know this person, right.

507
00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:54,359
Speaker 4: But then didn't say though too in the beginning that

508
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:57,440
Speaker 4: she knew that, like she was removed from her family

509
00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:00,240
Speaker 4: because of like abuse and stuff and like neglects. It

510
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:02,760
Speaker 4: said something about that. I mean maybe it was from

511
00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:03,760
Speaker 4: the father and not the mother.

512
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:06,679
Speaker 3: But I, oh, yeah, you're right, so I would understand

513
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:08,800
Speaker 3: why you wouldn't want I missed that part. Yeah, yeah,

514
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:11,000
Speaker 3: which I mean just to add it on to not

515
00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:13,719
Speaker 3: knowing that, yeah, you know, but yeah, so I mean

516
00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:14,840
Speaker 3: that is big reason.

517
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:15,160
Speaker 1: Yeah.

518
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:16,879
Speaker 3: I made it clear that my reason for doing the

519
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:20,480
Speaker 3: DNA test was purely informational. I wanted to understand my past,

520
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:23,760
Speaker 3: maybe get some medical history, and learn why I was removed.

521
00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:24,399
Speaker 1: But that was it.

522
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:27,000
Speaker 3: I apologized if my actions gave her the wrong impression.

523
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:29,680
Speaker 3: Birth mother read my message and replied, saying that she'd

524
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:31,720
Speaker 3: be willing to give me all the information I wanted,

525
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:33,560
Speaker 3: but only if I agreed to meet her at a

526
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:37,080
Speaker 3: cafe to discuss our relationship further. That's meant enough, that's weird.

527
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:40,080
Speaker 3: They'll give it to you, but you must meet me

528
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:44,359
Speaker 3: it's like dangling carrot. Yeah, I refuse, telling her that

529
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,800
Speaker 3: I wasn't comfortable with the face to face meeting. I

530
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:49,680
Speaker 3: offered a phone call as a compromise, but emphasized that

531
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:51,879
Speaker 3: I just wanted the information and then for both of

532
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:53,600
Speaker 3: us to move on with our lives.

533
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:55,959
Speaker 1: She outright refused.

534
00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:58,200
Speaker 3: To provide any information unless I agreed to meet with

535
00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,240
Speaker 3: her in person and discuss our relationship.

536
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:02,640
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh. But also like, what is there to discuss? Yeah,

537
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:05,040
Speaker 4: I don't have no relationship there even I do not

538
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,959
Speaker 4: trust this person. The fact that she's like demanding.

539
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:10,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh, we definitely wouldn't or shouldn't go alone. If

540
00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:12,000
Speaker 1: they do, go not alone.

541
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:13,840
Speaker 3: I talked to my best friend about this, and she

542
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:17,000
Speaker 3: sided with my birth mother, saying that I was being unfair.

543
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:21,280
Speaker 3: What that's weird, Like adopted kids don't owe their birth

544
00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:24,359
Speaker 3: parents anything. That is like a relationship that if you,

545
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:26,639
Speaker 3: if they want, then they can pursue, but no one

546
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:27,640
Speaker 3: should be forcing them to.

547
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:28,879
Speaker 1: Have that right. I agree.

548
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,240
Speaker 3: She argued that by signing up for the DNA site,

549
00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:33,960
Speaker 3: I had essentially opened the door to this kind of situation,

550
00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:36,360
Speaker 3: and that refusing to meet with my birth mother now

551
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,520
Speaker 3: is like playing mind games and leading them on.

552
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:39,320
Speaker 1: Who's the friend?

553
00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:41,680
Speaker 4: Put up the mind games of saying that, like, I'm

554
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:43,720
Speaker 4: not going to give you any info about your medical

555
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,480
Speaker 4: history unless I see you.

556
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:46,640
Speaker 1: When we talk about what I want?

557
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:48,359
Speaker 3: So am I the a hole for not wanting a

558
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:51,480
Speaker 3: relationship with my biological mom after I signed up for

559
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:54,320
Speaker 3: the DNA testing site? No, there's an update. There is

560
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 3: an update, But no, not at all. And she shouldn't

561
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 3: be Yeah, she shouldn't be forcing you into that.

562
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:02,160
Speaker 1: That's very icky. That's mine games. But there's an update.

563
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:05,520
Speaker 3: Hey everyone, it's been about nine days since I last posted,

564
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:07,639
Speaker 3: and I thought it was time for an update. I

565
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:09,720
Speaker 3: really want to thank everyone who took the time to

566
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:12,720
Speaker 3: comment and offer advice. I've read through everything and it's

567
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:15,320
Speaker 3: been both helpful and eye opening. So after all the

568
00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:18,159
Speaker 3: advice and some serious thinking, I decided to talk to

569
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:21,440
Speaker 3: my biological mom again, hoping that maybe if I explain

570
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:25,000
Speaker 3: myself better, she'd understand where I was coming from. Unfortunately,

571
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:28,639
Speaker 3: things went downhill fast. Oh No, instead of trying to

572
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:32,159
Speaker 3: meet me halfway, she just got more manipulative, insisting that

573
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:34,399
Speaker 3: I was being selfish for not wanting to meet her

574
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:34,919
Speaker 3: in person.

575
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:38,160
Speaker 4: Oh, my gosh, you're just like making the Yeah, you're

576
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:39,520
Speaker 4: just pushing Opie away.

577
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:41,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, like it's so counterproductive. Yeah.

578
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:44,399
Speaker 3: She refused to give me any information unless I agreed

579
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:46,520
Speaker 3: to her terms, which was a hard no for me.

580
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:48,879
Speaker 3: I've come to realize that I was pretty naive to

581
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:52,440
Speaker 3: think that my biological family might be decent people after everything.

582
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:54,639
Speaker 3: I mean, I was removed from their care for a reason,

583
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:56,520
Speaker 3: but I guess a part of me wanted to believe

584
00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 3: that people can change. Looking back, I feel kind of

585
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:00,679
Speaker 3: dumb for even starting this whole journey.

586
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:01,760
Speaker 1: I mean, you didn't do anything.

587
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, It's brought up a lot of emotions that I

588
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:06,080
Speaker 3: wasn't really prepared to deal with. And to be honest,

589
00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:08,720
Speaker 3: I'm feeling pretty down about the whole situation. And as

590
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:12,119
Speaker 3: for my best friend, well, that's another disappointment.

591
00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:13,119
Speaker 1: Your friend sucks.

592
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:16,160
Speaker 3: She didn't just side with my biological mom initially. She's

593
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:19,000
Speaker 3: been unsupportive throughout this whole mess. Even after I told

594
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,680
Speaker 3: her about the latest conversation, she couldn't really understand why

595
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:23,680
Speaker 3: I was so upset. She kept saying that I should

596
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:26,040
Speaker 3: give them a chance and not be so harsh. It's

597
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:27,760
Speaker 3: like she doesn't get how hard this is for me,

598
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:29,520
Speaker 3: and I'm starting to feel like she never really did.

599
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:32,160
Speaker 3: She for sure doesn't right. It's tough because I've always

600
00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 3: considered her one of my closest friends, but right now

601
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:37,160
Speaker 3: I'm not sure she's someone I can rely on. After

602
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:39,960
Speaker 3: all this, I decided to sit down with my adoptive

603
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,680
Speaker 3: parents and talk everything over with them. I hadn't really

604
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:44,919
Speaker 3: open up to them about how deep this was affecting me,

605
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:47,680
Speaker 3: but they were amazing as always. They were upset when

606
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:50,159
Speaker 3: they heard how my biological mom was acting, and they

607
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 3: reassured me that none of this is my fault. They

608
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:55,240
Speaker 3: reminded me that there's a reason I was removed from

609
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:57,480
Speaker 3: that situation, and it's not on me to fix it

610
00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:59,840
Speaker 3: or make things right with people who clearly not chan.

611
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:02,720
Speaker 3: Talking with them made me realize just how lucky I

612
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:04,960
Speaker 3: am to have them. They've been there for me every

613
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:07,040
Speaker 3: step of the way, and they made it clear that

614
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:10,119
Speaker 3: whatever happens, they're my real family, the ones who loved

615
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,480
Speaker 3: and supported me no matter what. It's hard not to

616
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 3: feel down after everything that's happened, but having them in

617
00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:18,080
Speaker 3: my corner makes it a bit easier to cope. Honestly,

618
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:20,760
Speaker 3: I regret even starting this whole DNA journey. It's brought

619
00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:23,040
Speaker 3: up more pain than I expected, and I can't help

620
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:25,400
Speaker 3: but wish I just left the past where it belongs.

621
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:28,040
Speaker 3: But at the same time, I'm grateful that it's reminded

622
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:30,280
Speaker 3: me of how blessed I am to have my adoptive parents.

623
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:32,119
Speaker 3: They are the ones who have always been there for me,

624
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:35,000
Speaker 3: and I couldn't ask for a better family. So that's

625
00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:37,280
Speaker 3: where I'm at. I'm going to focus on the people

626
00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:39,720
Speaker 3: who truly care about me and let go of the rest.

627
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:42,520
Speaker 3: It's not easy, but I know I'm on the right path.

628
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:45,720
Speaker 3: Thanks again to everyone who reached out. It's really helped

629
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:48,399
Speaker 3: me feel less alone in all of this. Take care everyone,

630
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:52,000
Speaker 3: And there is an update. Wow Yeah, I mean, yes, stay,

631
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:54,639
Speaker 3: you got your adoptive family. Maybe drop this best friend

632
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:56,600
Speaker 3: because she sounds like she sucks?

633
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, or just like yeah, I don't.

634
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:01,880
Speaker 3: Know with thoughts before we get into this update, though,

635
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:03,680
Speaker 3: I just agree.

636
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:04,719
Speaker 1: I think this is crazy.

637
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:06,719
Speaker 4: But it's like, you've got a family, you have a

638
00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 4: fan you yeah, so you're.

639
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:10,480
Speaker 1: Good, you know.

640
00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:12,720
Speaker 4: I mean, I'm not adopted, but I can imagine that

641
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:14,760
Speaker 4: it would be so hard to like or just So

642
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:16,520
Speaker 4: such a weird thing in the back of your head

643
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:19,600
Speaker 4: to think about your birth family. Yeah, but and it's

644
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:22,760
Speaker 4: not what you imagined it would be. You got another one, So.

645
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:25,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, you have a family that chowse you right. But

646
00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:27,560
Speaker 3: there is another update. Hey everyone, I've been thinking a

647
00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:30,399
Speaker 3: lot about my family today, especially after everything that's been

648
00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:32,600
Speaker 3: going on lately. It got me reminiscing about some of

649
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:34,680
Speaker 3: the best moments I've had with them. And there's one

650
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:37,120
Speaker 3: memory that stands out, something from when I was still

651
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:39,280
Speaker 3: a kid that I'll never forget. I must have been

652
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:41,400
Speaker 3: about eight years old, just a couple of years after

653
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:43,600
Speaker 3: I was adopted. It was around Christmas time, and I

654
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,480
Speaker 3: remember feeling nervous because it was only my second Christmas

655
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:49,560
Speaker 3: with my adoptive parents. Holidays always make me feel weird

656
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:52,400
Speaker 3: even now. Anyway, my dad's friend own a Christmas tree

657
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:54,720
Speaker 3: of arm and that year, my mom and dad decided

658
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:56,560
Speaker 3: to take me to pick our Christmas tree. We spent

659
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:59,600
Speaker 3: what felt like hours walking through rows and rows of trees.

660
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:01,960
Speaker 3: My parents parents kept asking me which one I liked best,

661
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:04,439
Speaker 3: and I remember feeling so much pressure, like I had

662
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:07,639
Speaker 3: to pick the absolute best one or else I'd ruined Christmas,

663
00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:10,480
Speaker 3: but they were so patient, letting me take my time. Finally,

664
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:12,720
Speaker 3: I pointed out a tree. Honestly, it looked like every

665
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:15,400
Speaker 3: other one for me, but my parents made a huge

666
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:17,960
Speaker 3: deal out of it. My dad knelt down to start sawing,

667
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:20,680
Speaker 3: and I remember him pretending to struggle, saying, oh, no,

668
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:23,040
Speaker 3: I think this tree might be too strong for me.

669
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:25,720
Speaker 3: My dad maybe come over and help him, saying he

670
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:26,639
Speaker 3: couldn't do it alone.

671
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:30,240
Speaker 1: All that's really cute, wonderful parents.

672
00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:32,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, so there I was, this little eight year old

673
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:34,640
Speaker 3: pretending to doubt my dad saw down this tree. Of course,

674
00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:36,720
Speaker 3: I wasn't actually doing anything, but they made me feel

675
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:38,480
Speaker 3: like I was the strongest kid in the world.

676
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:39,960
Speaker 1: All. When the tree.

677
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:42,120
Speaker 3: Finally fell, my dad swept me up in his arms

678
00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 3: and spun me around, saying, we did.

679
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:46,240
Speaker 1: It, so this is so sweet.

680
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:48,560
Speaker 3: After we got home and set up the tree, my

681
00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:50,920
Speaker 3: mom brought out these old boxes full of ornaments. She

682
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:52,960
Speaker 3: told me that we were going to start a new tradition.

683
00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:55,600
Speaker 3: Every year, we each pick out one new ornament to

684
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:58,240
Speaker 3: add to the tree, something that represented something special from

685
00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:00,919
Speaker 3: that year. That night, they handed me my very first ornament,

686
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:03,240
Speaker 3: a little wooden bear holding a heart with the word

687
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:06,119
Speaker 3: family carved into it. My mom said that one's for

688
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:10,159
Speaker 3: you because you made her family complete. I remember holding

689
00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:13,080
Speaker 3: that ornament, feeling this huge wave of love and belonging

690
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:15,119
Speaker 3: that I've never really felt before. At the time, I

691
00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:17,239
Speaker 3: don't think it ever hit me how impactful that was,

692
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:19,680
Speaker 3: How that moment defines the way I look at myself today.

693
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:22,240
Speaker 3: It was part of a loving family. I was their family,

694
00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 3: and you guys are our family too, and we want

695
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 3: you to join us that every weekdayst on YouTube, on Facebook,

696
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:29,920
Speaker 3: on TikTok, just tap her the fam.

697
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:31,359
Speaker 1: But there is a little bit left. But this is

698
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:31,919
Speaker 1: really sweet.

699
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,560
Speaker 3: This is not so sweet if you do not have

700
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:37,040
Speaker 3: to have a like a relationship with your biological family. No,

701
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:39,959
Speaker 3: because you have this amazing family that are amazing.

702
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:43,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like that was just so sweet, so sweet, Like,

703
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:45,200
Speaker 4: oh my gosh, I can't love this.

704
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:47,240
Speaker 1: You might have already, but talk to your parents about

705
00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:48,520
Speaker 1: what's going on, you know. Yeah.

706
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:51,320
Speaker 3: Every Christmas after that, we'd pull out that little wooden

707
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:52,520
Speaker 3: bear and hang it up first.

708
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:53,600
Speaker 1: It became our tradition.

709
00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:55,960
Speaker 3: The reason I've been thinking about this memory today is

710
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:58,320
Speaker 3: because it's a reminder of how lucky I am to

711
00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:00,160
Speaker 3: have the parents I do. They didn't just get me

712
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:02,400
Speaker 3: a home, they gave me a sense of belonging and

713
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:05,000
Speaker 3: they gave me love. Even with everything that's been going on,

714
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:07,360
Speaker 3: I know that I've got something really special and I

715
00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:10,360
Speaker 3: wouldn't trade it for anything anyway. Thanks for letting me

716
00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:13,360
Speaker 3: share this. I just needed to remind myself how amazing

717
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:15,480
Speaker 3: my family is and I hope it brings a smile

718
00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:17,320
Speaker 3: to your face like it does to mine. And that

719
00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 3: is the end of that story. Wow, lovely, lovely, happy,

720
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 3: beautiful story.

721
00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:25,680
Speaker 1: So so sweet. Yeah, I don't want to end on

722
00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:27,120
Speaker 1: I mean, I love that it was.

723
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:29,760
Speaker 3: It kind of went from like, oh, let's look into

724
00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 3: more of my biological family, and then it turned into like,

725
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:33,720
Speaker 3: oh wow, my family has been there for me, Like

726
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:34,920
Speaker 3: this is my family, right.

727
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,000
Speaker 1: I was just about maybe cry. That was so sweet,

728
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:39,160
Speaker 1: so so sweet. But that is the end of that

729
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:41,200
Speaker 1: story and the end of this episode. Wow.

730
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:43,640
Speaker 2: Hey, it's Sam' your og host here. Bring it back

731
00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:45,920
Speaker 2: to the stories. But here's three minutes fads from our sponsors.

732
00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 6: My in laws neglected my husband during his medical struggles,

733
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:53,280
Speaker 6: so I'm calling them out for context. This past year

734
00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:57,080
Speaker 6: has been incredibly rough. My partner, twenty eight year old male,

735
00:29:57,200 --> 00:30:00,160
Speaker 6: has faced severe medical issues, starting with a rand the

736
00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:04,520
Speaker 6: grand mal seizure in January and several heart surgeries in Mark,

737
00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:07,280
Speaker 6: another seizure on vacation out of the country in May,

738
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:10,280
Speaker 6: and then needs another surgery in November soon. By the way,

739
00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:13,720
Speaker 6: this comes from you Dash Desert Siren on the rok

740
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:17,560
Speaker 6: story time subreddit. So thankfully he's been in good spirits

741
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:19,400
Speaker 6: and while it's been tough, this has made us stronger

742
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:22,400
Speaker 6: and more supportive of one another. I've also had medical issues,

743
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:25,320
Speaker 6: but nowhere as severe as his. We just want an

744
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 6: end to the nightmare because it feels like it's a

745
00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:30,840
Speaker 6: never ending series of plot twists every week now. I

746
00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:33,440
Speaker 6: genuinely love my future in laws. I respect them and

747
00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:37,440
Speaker 6: want to be an amazing daughter in law to their family. However,

748
00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:39,920
Speaker 6: I have to vent a bit about some of the

749
00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:41,320
Speaker 6: situations that occurred this year.

750
00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:43,040
Speaker 2: They come from a very different culture.

751
00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:45,560
Speaker 6: Well, I love trying new things and learning more about

752
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:47,760
Speaker 6: his culture and showing him mine. There's a lot that

753
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:50,400
Speaker 6: happened where I feel my partner deserves better from them.

754
00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:51,400
Speaker 2: Here are some example.

755
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:53,680
Speaker 6: The invited strangers to what was supposed to be his

756
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:56,360
Speaker 6: birthday dinner last year, causing him to back out, and

757
00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:57,840
Speaker 6: then they got mad at him when he told them

758
00:30:57,880 --> 00:30:59,640
Speaker 6: he's not coming anymore because he didn't want to have

759
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:01,600
Speaker 6: strain that his birthday dinner fair.

760
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:05,080
Speaker 2: That is fair like random people on the street the

761
00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:07,040
Speaker 2: come to my son's birthday party.

762
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:10,280
Speaker 6: Yeah, despite his financial struggles with medical bills, to which

763
00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:13,080
Speaker 6: thank goodness, he has insurance because otherwise he'd be almost

764
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:16,520
Speaker 6: two million dollars in medical debt medical debt, his parents

765
00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:19,320
Speaker 6: haven't contributed anything to him. And yes, we know not

766
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:21,360
Speaker 6: to expect it because it's not our money and not

767
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,480
Speaker 6: our choice, but even his biological mom from another country,

768
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:27,400
Speaker 6: it sends money every month. My parents paid for one

769
00:31:27,440 --> 00:31:29,720
Speaker 6: of his entire er visits out of the country. It

770
00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:31,720
Speaker 6: just feels like everyone but them are contributing in some

771
00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:33,840
Speaker 6: ways to keep my partner from drowning in his bills,

772
00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:36,160
Speaker 6: because he still was in amount that's significant to him.

773
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:40,960
Speaker 6: My partner has developed a long time hatred for Christmas. Oh,

774
00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:43,680
Speaker 6: Christmas is great. Wow, I love Christmas.

775
00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:44,840
Speaker 2: This jew loves Christmas.

776
00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:46,960
Speaker 6: And when he opened up to me about it last year,

777
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 6: he told me he thinks it's because his parents always

778
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:50,200
Speaker 6: gave him crappy, cheap ISPs.

779
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:57,400
Speaker 2: I mean, there's worse way, there's worse things to ruin Christmas.

780
00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:00,520
Speaker 3: You know, if they're like giving you like old socks,

781
00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:02,200
Speaker 3: it's not the end of the world. On the end

782
00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:04,160
Speaker 3: of the world, but is it is heartbreaking as a

783
00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:06,680
Speaker 3: child to get really bad gift.

784
00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:09,080
Speaker 2: Yeah. Last year they got him a twelve pack of Oreos.

785
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:11,880
Speaker 1: That's pretty messed up. Okay, yeah, that's pretty messed up.

786
00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:15,080
Speaker 6: Well, his dad received expensive shirts and cologne. Then they

787
00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:17,320
Speaker 6: had the nerve to tell him you need to lose

788
00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 6: weight after giving those to him, Like, okay.

789
00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:22,840
Speaker 2: We'll take those back, thanks. We just wanted to see

790
00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:23,560
Speaker 2: what you reaction.

791
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:28,960
Speaker 1: You were testing. Unbelievable child test you double stop.

792
00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:31,840
Speaker 6: We are grateful for whatever we get and I go

793
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:34,360
Speaker 6: in not expecting any gifts, but I personally feel like

794
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:36,680
Speaker 6: they don't really know us sometimes with the gifts we've

795
00:32:36,680 --> 00:32:39,280
Speaker 6: gotten in the past. I'm someone who loves a sentimental gift,

796
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:41,760
Speaker 6: even if it's a fifty cent necklace or something handmade.

797
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 6: We just feel like there isn't much thought that goes

798
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:44,320
Speaker 6: into our gift.

799
00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:46,160
Speaker 1: Yeah into an oreo OO.

800
00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:49,320
Speaker 6: Really loved oreos as a kid, Clearly not when my

801
00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:52,640
Speaker 6: partner was hospitalized. His parents were on vacation out of

802
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:54,800
Speaker 6: the country. Even though my parents and I were all

803
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:57,680
Speaker 6: there with him, that wasn't the issue. This shoe came

804
00:32:57,680 --> 00:32:59,520
Speaker 6: when we would update them over the phone, and then

805
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 6: they would start stressing him out about the cost of

806
00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:04,600
Speaker 6: a hospital stay and if you really needed a brain

807
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:08,200
Speaker 6: slash cardiac MRI, because it's gonna be super expensive, instead

808
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:09,480
Speaker 6: of prioritizing his health.

809
00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:11,960
Speaker 2: Mind you, the doctor said he had a near fatal

810
00:33:12,040 --> 00:33:13,880
Speaker 2: cardiac episode. Jeez.

811
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:17,200
Speaker 6: When the seizure happened, and his parents legitimately said, oh,

812
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:20,360
Speaker 6: it's not that serious, he'll be okay, we're not that worried.

813
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:23,200
Speaker 6: Oh my god, are they understanding? I mean, obviously they're not.

814
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:25,120
Speaker 1: We gave him an OREO, don't worry.

815
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:28,200
Speaker 2: He has the fine, he just needs to lose weight.

816
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:30,600
Speaker 3: This is like the parents and the other story. They're like, Ay,

817
00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:33,720
Speaker 3: he's alive, he's crying, so he's fine.

818
00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:36,440
Speaker 6: Like I'm over here having meltdowns because I had to

819
00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:39,200
Speaker 6: help him through his seizure, roll him to his side.

820
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:41,320
Speaker 2: Oh jeez, I can't even imagine how scary that is.

821
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:43,120
Speaker 6: And call nine one one and everything, and I'm by

822
00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:45,240
Speaker 6: myself dealing with this and you have the nerve to

823
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:48,320
Speaker 6: tell me it's not that serious. His stepmom constantly comments

824
00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:49,960
Speaker 6: on how lucky is to have me and what he

825
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:52,640
Speaker 6: would do without me, which at first was like, oh, well,

826
00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:54,520
Speaker 6: I'm not gonna have him, but after many times of

827
00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 6: her saying that, starts to feel like she doesn't respect

828
00:33:56,920 --> 00:34:00,200
Speaker 6: him as a mature, responsible adult. They all work together

829
00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:02,800
Speaker 6: in a family business. One time they placed tasks on

830
00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:05,560
Speaker 6: his desk without asking, Hey, can you please do these

831
00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:07,120
Speaker 6: for us? And when you call them out for not

832
00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:09,759
Speaker 6: showing basic respect and asking him please, they sent him

833
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:10,479
Speaker 6: home from work.

834
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:13,000
Speaker 2: That's treated him like a child being sent to their room.

835
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:13,560
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

836
00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:15,759
Speaker 6: These are the main incidents I can remember, but the

837
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:18,520
Speaker 6: latest situation has been pretty infuriated, and I can't tell

838
00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:20,640
Speaker 6: if I'm expecting too much from his parents from not.

839
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:24,520
Speaker 2: What what I'm noticing is like some of these.

840
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:28,920
Speaker 6: Are like huge, really serious like ruptures and like awful

841
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:30,840
Speaker 6: things are doing, and some of them feel like really

842
00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:33,719
Speaker 6: like but I've really yeah, really small, really small and

843
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:34,600
Speaker 6: kind of irrelevant.

844
00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:36,359
Speaker 1: But I think that it's probably for op.

845
00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:38,400
Speaker 3: It just feels like these like these like just building

846
00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:40,160
Speaker 3: and building and building and not like these big things.

847
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:41,920
Speaker 3: And then I was like, oh, it makes the small

848
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:44,600
Speaker 3: things even feel even bigger because you're already annoyed at them.

849
00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:44,839
Speaker 4: Yeah.

850
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:46,880
Speaker 6: Yeah, I was going back and that whole lesson I was.

851
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:48,080
Speaker 6: I was like, well, that's not even that bad, and

852
00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:50,160
Speaker 6: then they did like a really bad thing. I was like, whoa,

853
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:51,400
Speaker 6: that was another thing. I was like, why are you

854
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:51,840
Speaker 6: including that?

855
00:34:51,960 --> 00:34:53,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like it's just like too op. It

856
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:56,000
Speaker 3: probably feels much bigger because it's.

857
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:57,400
Speaker 2: Just like everything is tacturing for sure.

858
00:34:57,480 --> 00:35:00,719
Speaker 6: After a second seizure in late May, we have a

859
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:03,600
Speaker 6: law that states patients who had this kind of seizure

860
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:05,960
Speaker 6: cannot drive for three months. While a stepmom and I

861
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:08,200
Speaker 6: have been driving him to and from work, he often

862
00:35:08,239 --> 00:35:10,640
Speaker 6: has to uber when we're unable to, which gets really

863
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:13,160
Speaker 6: expensive with the traffic we have near our place. One day,

864
00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:15,560
Speaker 6: when I realized he had to pay seventy dollars for UBER,

865
00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:17,680
Speaker 6: I asked why his dad couldn't drive him. My partner

866
00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:19,520
Speaker 6: simply said, his dad didn't want to. I don't know

867
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 6: if he's entitled of me, but it feels infuriating how

868
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:25,359
Speaker 6: his dad prioritizes his own comfort over helping his son

869
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:28,200
Speaker 6: who's beyond stress with financials. So when I was trying

870
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:30,279
Speaker 6: to communicate how I was feeling to my partner, and

871
00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:32,040
Speaker 6: I definitely know I was an a hole for this.

872
00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:33,719
Speaker 6: I said to my partner in the heat of my

873
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:36,800
Speaker 6: anger that his dad was being a bat lazy b

874
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:40,560
Speaker 6: for not stepping up as a dad to help his son.

875
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:46,480
Speaker 3: I don't know if you can it's it's kind of

876
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:48,319
Speaker 3: it's tricky because it's like that's his dad, you know,

877
00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:50,480
Speaker 3: and like you can think that and it could be true,

878
00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:52,840
Speaker 3: and it's it's kind of true. But you definitely have

879
00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:55,960
Speaker 3: to be careful about how you talk to about people's parents.

880
00:35:56,040 --> 00:35:59,280
Speaker 6: Yeah, and I get your your protective over your partner, yourself.

881
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:02,080
Speaker 6: His parents aren't treating him right, and you're upset, and

882
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:04,960
Speaker 6: the moment you say something also it's not good. Yeah,

883
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:06,160
Speaker 6: but it seems like, oh he knows that.

884
00:36:06,239 --> 00:36:06,439
Speaker 1: Yeah.

885
00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:08,880
Speaker 6: The next the next line is yeah, I know, okay,

886
00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:10,719
Speaker 6: so we're all on the same It was not the

887
00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:11,120
Speaker 6: right movie.

888
00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:13,239
Speaker 3: Oh I thought that was the husband's okay okay.

889
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:15,080
Speaker 1: Oh pop was saying yeah, I know. Yeah.

890
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:18,000
Speaker 2: Not my finest hour for sure. My partner wasn't too happy.

891
00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:20,400
Speaker 6: I called his dad bee and I have to apologizing

892
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:22,120
Speaker 6: me because I know that was crossing a line a bit.

893
00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:24,200
Speaker 6: He did agree that my underlying point was valid. He

894
00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:25,520
Speaker 6: was like, hey, don't call him that, but like.

895
00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:28,040
Speaker 1: You're kind of right, but yeah, yeah.

896
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:31,120
Speaker 6: He says we shouldn't feel entitled to their time or efforts,

897
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:34,080
Speaker 6: but that it sucks his dad isn't really trying to

898
00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:36,320
Speaker 6: help while the rest of us are doing everything possible

899
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:36,759
Speaker 6: to help.

900
00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:38,920
Speaker 2: And if you want to help us, if you want to.

901
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:42,040
Speaker 6: Help yourself, you could tune into live episodes with stories

902
00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:44,560
Speaker 6: just like this. Just go to Spotify or your favorite

903
00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:46,480
Speaker 6: podcast app and starts, okay.

904
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:49,000
Speaker 2: Story time and there's another relevant update, but let's.

905
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:52,680
Speaker 3: Discuss Ah, yeah, these people. The thing is like, when

906
00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:55,799
Speaker 3: there's people in your life who just consistently show that

907
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:58,080
Speaker 3: they're not going to show up for you, it sucks,

908
00:36:58,360 --> 00:36:59,960
Speaker 3: but it's like you can't you can't force them to

909
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:01,840
Speaker 3: show up for you. You just have to realize, you know,

910
00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:03,279
Speaker 3: maybe they're not meant to be in my life.

911
00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:05,200
Speaker 6: You can't force them to show up for you, but

912
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:09,920
Speaker 6: you can express disappointment and your anger and a desire

913
00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:12,719
Speaker 6: for them to help out more without demanding it.

914
00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:14,399
Speaker 2: I think there's a lot of room for that.

915
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:17,000
Speaker 1: I think that they have they not had that conversation yet.

916
00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:21,080
Speaker 6: No, what we know hasn't been made clear that they've

917
00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:24,400
Speaker 6: had that conversation. It seems like they're just consistently being

918
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:27,200
Speaker 6: let down and then OPI is just getting angry to

919
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:28,680
Speaker 6: their partner or to themselves.

920
00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:30,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, so maybe it's like, bring that conversation up, and

921
00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:32,480
Speaker 3: then if they don't, you can't do much.

922
00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:34,520
Speaker 6: Yeah, there's but there's a lot of room to have

923
00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:37,560
Speaker 6: that conversation before just assuming that they'll never be there.

924
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:37,920
Speaker 1: Sure.

925
00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:40,520
Speaker 6: So I was raised so that my family and my

926
00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:42,960
Speaker 6: parents would do anything to help me. While our backgrounds

927
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:44,839
Speaker 6: and cultures are different, I still feel like his parents

928
00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:47,160
Speaker 6: should step up and respect him more. I really want

929
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:49,640
Speaker 6: to stand up for him without ruining the relationship. And

930
00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:52,799
Speaker 6: we agree we refuse to resent each other's family because

931
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:54,520
Speaker 6: we do love the other and we know how in

932
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:58,040
Speaker 6: laws can ruin relationships if there's resentment. After reading many

933
00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:02,680
Speaker 6: Reddit stories, very true, good promise. So we communicate well

934
00:38:02,719 --> 00:38:04,160
Speaker 6: and I try to stay on the same page. But

935
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:07,160
Speaker 6: am I overstepping in my expectations? Am I going crazy?

936
00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:08,799
Speaker 6: I really want to do what's right. I do have

937
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:10,960
Speaker 6: a great relationship with his parents. We never argue and

938
00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:13,160
Speaker 6: I will absolutely back off if I'm expecting too much

939
00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:13,480
Speaker 6: of them.

940
00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:15,319
Speaker 2: But I'm totally I'm not totally convinced that I am.

941
00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:17,240
Speaker 2: Thank y'all and stay healthy.

942
00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:20,160
Speaker 3: I think all you can do is kind of help

943
00:38:20,239 --> 00:38:22,880
Speaker 3: your partner feel comfortable to go talk to his parents,

944
00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:24,600
Speaker 3: and I feel like you can like say like, hey,

945
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:27,160
Speaker 3: you're right and feeling like they're not, you know, stant

946
00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:30,319
Speaker 3: helping you out enough, Just have a conversation with them

947
00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:31,719
Speaker 3: and give him the courage to do that.

948
00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:35,080
Speaker 6: I think another big factor here, and Ope even mentioned it,

949
00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:39,600
Speaker 6: is that different contexts, different culture, different families. And so again,

950
00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:43,319
Speaker 6: family to op means we always help out. Family to

951
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:46,440
Speaker 6: other people might not be that. We might love each other,

952
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:48,360
Speaker 6: we might care for each other, but we might not

953
00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:51,560
Speaker 6: be as dependent on each other, and you know, helping

954
00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:54,359
Speaker 6: out with finances. And that doesn't show that that's a

955
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:58,839
Speaker 6: bad family. It's just that they have they approach relationships different.

956
00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:00,640
Speaker 3: Shenize More says, what about asking them for help instead

957
00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:03,040
Speaker 3: of expecting them? Yeah, which goes into just communication.

958
00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:05,960
Speaker 6: Yeah, it goes into that there's just different contexts, especially

959
00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:08,279
Speaker 6: on like what family means. Yeah, and so it is

960
00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:10,799
Speaker 6: one thing for OPI to be like getting upset and

961
00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:14,480
Speaker 6: like putting her expectations over her husband and their family

962
00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:16,560
Speaker 6: and getting mad at the husband and their family, and

963
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:19,360
Speaker 6: it's not there for Opie's husband himself to be upset.

964
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:21,080
Speaker 6: And then from there there's a lot of room to

965
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:24,520
Speaker 6: communicate like ye, hey, like I'm struggling and I'm feeling

966
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:26,200
Speaker 6: upset that you're not helping.

967
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:28,000
Speaker 2: Can you help? Is that possible?

968
00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:29,880
Speaker 1: I think that's a fair fair ask.

969
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:34,840
Speaker 3: My mother in law took my baby pictures without permission,

970
00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:36,319
Speaker 3: so I told them to.

971
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:37,120
Speaker 1: Give it back.

972
00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:38,200
Speaker 2: Give it back now.

973
00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:41,400
Speaker 3: I honestly don't even know where to start. I thirty

974
00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:43,640
Speaker 3: eight female, have been with my husband thirty two male,

975
00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:46,720
Speaker 3: for five and a half years, married for three years.

976
00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:48,600
Speaker 3: We have a two and a half year old daughter

977
00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:51,000
Speaker 3: and a six month old son. I always knew mother

978
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:53,360
Speaker 3: in law was pretty high on the bath half crazy scale,

979
00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:56,200
Speaker 3: but this newest situation takes the cake for me. By

980
00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:58,440
Speaker 3: the way, this comes from smallest hydra on the Okay

981
00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:01,640
Speaker 3: storytime suffered it. So I actually have another post about her,

982
00:40:01,719 --> 00:40:03,759
Speaker 3: and I'll leave the link if you want. But to

983
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:07,320
Speaker 3: make an incredibly long story short, she has ruined almost

984
00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:10,320
Speaker 3: everything she has been involved with, treats us like children

985
00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:12,959
Speaker 3: and doesn't respect us in the slightest. That being said,

986
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:15,080
Speaker 3: let's get to the matter in hand. When our house

987
00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:17,680
Speaker 3: was being renovated in twenty twenty two, shortly after our

988
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:19,880
Speaker 3: daughter was born, we moved in with my in laws

989
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:22,759
Speaker 3: until the renovation was finished. During that time, which was

990
00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:25,600
Speaker 3: also hell, I brought over my personal baby pictures for

991
00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:28,120
Speaker 3: some family members to see how alike my daughter and

992
00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:30,160
Speaker 3: I were. I don't know why, but I ended up

993
00:40:30,239 --> 00:40:33,000
Speaker 3: leaving the photo album there once we moved. I wasn't

994
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:35,560
Speaker 3: concerned about it because why would anything happen to it?

995
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:38,000
Speaker 3: It was on a nice credenza with other photos. Now,

996
00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:41,080
Speaker 3: aside from these being my baby pictures, most of them

997
00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:44,600
Speaker 3: do not have duplicates or negatives to make copies. I

998
00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:47,480
Speaker 3: have digitized some, but not all. About twelve years ago,

999
00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:50,520
Speaker 3: my family's photos were stored in my parents' basement. When

1000
00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:53,600
Speaker 3: the basement flooded and we lost nearly all of them,

1001
00:40:53,680 --> 00:40:56,560
Speaker 3: I decided that year for Christmas, with my parents' permission,

1002
00:40:56,680 --> 00:40:59,080
Speaker 3: I would distribute each of the siblings five of us

1003
00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:01,560
Speaker 3: baby photos in a personalized book, with mom and dad

1004
00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:04,719
Speaker 3: choosing which ones they wanted to keep first. Everyone loved it.

1005
00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:07,400
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be honest. If I had lost all my

1006
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:10,080
Speaker 3: stuff in a flood, I would immediately digitize all the

1007
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:12,799
Speaker 3: remaining photos. I would do that before I gave it

1008
00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:13,960
Speaker 3: out to anyone that.

1009
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:17,280
Speaker 2: Makes sense, Especially if there's no duplicates.

1010
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:20,439
Speaker 3: No, especially there's no duplicates and you already lost all those,

1011
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:23,120
Speaker 3: I would absolutely digitize those. We've had a lot of

1012
00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:24,799
Speaker 3: issues with mother in law as of late, to the

1013
00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:26,880
Speaker 3: point where we had to have a come to Jesus

1014
00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:29,000
Speaker 3: meeting with her and father in law to make them

1015
00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:30,880
Speaker 3: understand how we've been feeling about her.

1016
00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:33,760
Speaker 2: Mostly her behave what's a come to Jesus conversation?

1017
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:37,560
Speaker 3: Like they're like, hey, you need to change her act

1018
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:38,960
Speaker 3: I have I've never heard that phrase.

1019
00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:39,239
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1020
00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:41,560
Speaker 3: It's been a few weeks since then and things are

1021
00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:44,040
Speaker 3: still tense, but have gootten better. We are moving next

1022
00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:45,920
Speaker 3: week and have asked mother in law to bring photo

1023
00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:48,440
Speaker 3: album over to us to come or for us to

1024
00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:51,200
Speaker 3: come get it several times, and she did not reply

1025
00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:55,879
Speaker 3: to us. A scary We went over there Labor Day

1026
00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:58,200
Speaker 3: dinner and I grabbed it from the credenza so I

1027
00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:00,320
Speaker 3: didn't forget to bring it home. Father in laws stopped

1028
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:02,560
Speaker 3: me and said, oh, hey, there are some pictures mixing

1029
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:04,839
Speaker 3: from there. We're getting photo copies of them. I look

1030
00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:07,320
Speaker 3: and realized there were paper copies in place of the

1031
00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:10,960
Speaker 3: kissing photos, something I hadn't noticed when looking at it earlier.

1032
00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:13,920
Speaker 3: I was stunned and just said, oh, okay, thinking they

1033
00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:16,200
Speaker 3: were making the copies at home. Mother in law said,

1034
00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:18,520
Speaker 3: you're our daughter in law. We wanted some pictures of you.

1035
00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:20,760
Speaker 3: It seems a bit odd, as no one has ever

1036
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:23,440
Speaker 3: done this before in the history of human existence, and

1037
00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:25,719
Speaker 3: the woman has hundreds of pictures of me from the

1038
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:26,720
Speaker 3: past five years.

1039
00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:30,120
Speaker 6: But okay, I've never heard of like parent in laws

1040
00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:33,000
Speaker 6: like I want baby photos of our daughter's.

1041
00:42:32,719 --> 00:42:33,279
Speaker 1: Daughter in law.

1042
00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:37,399
Speaker 5: Id they flood the house? Yeah, like, we don't want

1043
00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:38,120
Speaker 5: any traces of you.

1044
00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:41,239
Speaker 3: I asked them to let me know when they were

1045
00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:43,040
Speaker 3: done so that I could pack it. I didn't really

1046
00:42:43,080 --> 00:42:45,120
Speaker 3: think about it anymore until the next day and the

1047
00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:47,400
Speaker 3: weirdness set in and I've realized.

1048
00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:47,720
Speaker 1: I was pissed.

1049
00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:51,040
Speaker 3: Even my husband has never heard of an in law

1050
00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:54,840
Speaker 3: having their child's spouse's baby pictures just because.

1051
00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:56,840
Speaker 2: And going through the effort to photo calls it's like

1052
00:42:56,840 --> 00:42:57,680
Speaker 2: one thing to receive it.

1053
00:42:57,840 --> 00:42:58,040
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1054
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:01,000
Speaker 6: No, it's like I'm gonna take it to studio and

1055
00:43:01,120 --> 00:43:02,600
Speaker 6: copy though if it were for a.

1056
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:05,440
Speaker 3: Baby shower or wedding or some other kind of occasion. Ghool,

1057
00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:06,960
Speaker 3: But at least ask first.

1058
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:07,279
Speaker 2: Well.

1059
00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:09,160
Speaker 3: I tried to let it go and was feeling better

1060
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:10,799
Speaker 3: about it when I asked my husband to have his

1061
00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:13,240
Speaker 3: mom bring the album when she comes over tomorrow.

1062
00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:13,920
Speaker 1: She told him the.

1063
00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:17,360
Speaker 3: Photos were sent away to a company in another town

1064
00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:21,239
Speaker 3: to have actual photo duplicates made. I'm a black girl,

1065
00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:22,840
Speaker 3: and I felt myself turned.

1066
00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:24,120
Speaker 1: White with rage.

1067
00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:27,840
Speaker 3: Not only had this woman taken my photos without asking,

1068
00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:30,560
Speaker 3: she sent them to a third party, replaced them with

1069
00:43:30,640 --> 00:43:34,200
Speaker 3: paper copies clearly from her printer, and probably thought I

1070
00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:35,680
Speaker 3: wouldn't notice.

1071
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:40,520
Speaker 6: I don't understand that replacing with paper photos because the father.

1072
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:42,120
Speaker 2: In law immediately told them about it.

1073
00:43:42,239 --> 00:43:45,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like what and I don't know? This is weird.

1074
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:48,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, maybe you should have taken the paper photos.

1075
00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:50,640
Speaker 3: She had to create a profile with this third party

1076
00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:53,600
Speaker 3: and paid money for them to be copied onto photo paper,

1077
00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:56,440
Speaker 3: all without my knowledge or consent. At no point in

1078
00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:58,720
Speaker 3: this process did she stop and think I should probably

1079
00:43:58,719 --> 00:43:59,799
Speaker 3: ask permission to do this.

1080
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 1: Oh no.

1081
00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:03,240
Speaker 3: She tried to cover her tracks by refusing to acknowledge

1082
00:44:03,239 --> 00:44:05,720
Speaker 3: our requests for her to bring the album and replaced

1083
00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:07,600
Speaker 3: and replacing the photos.

1084
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:07,960
Speaker 1: With paper ones.

1085
00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:10,520
Speaker 3: When I questioned my husband about this, he said she

1086
00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:13,040
Speaker 3: told them the photos won't be ready until next Monday,

1087
00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:15,480
Speaker 3: then she would bring it over. I said, absolutely not,

1088
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:18,359
Speaker 3: and that she needed to cancel that order and bring

1089
00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:20,919
Speaker 3: them to me asap, and if she didn't go get them,

1090
00:44:21,239 --> 00:44:23,359
Speaker 3: we would. He sent it and as of about an

1091
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:26,400
Speaker 3: hour ago, she still has not replied. But she messed

1092
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:28,040
Speaker 3: up in telling them where they are, so if she

1093
00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:30,440
Speaker 3: doesn't get them by tomorrow, I'm gonna get them myself.

1094
00:44:30,560 --> 00:44:32,640
Speaker 3: I also told him that if she argues with him,

1095
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:34,799
Speaker 3: she can call me, which at this point she knows

1096
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:37,000
Speaker 3: is not a good idea, especially if I have to

1097
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:38,000
Speaker 3: go get them myself.

1098
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:42,719
Speaker 6: I'm I'm happy to have a Opie who is a

1099
00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:45,640
Speaker 6: woman who is like the one that has no issue

1100
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:46,279
Speaker 6: standing up for them. S.

1101
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:48,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's like, no, I'm gonna go get those like us.

1102
00:44:48,040 --> 00:44:48,760
Speaker 2: Any stories.

1103
00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:51,319
Speaker 6: If Opie is a woman and they're like being disrespected

1104
00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:54,319
Speaker 6: by their like their family in law, it's usually like

1105
00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:56,640
Speaker 6: talking to the husband their partner, like.

1106
00:44:56,560 --> 00:44:57,399
Speaker 1: Can you please help?

1107
00:44:57,480 --> 00:44:59,440
Speaker 2: Like I'm too scared to talk to them.

1108
00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:01,960
Speaker 6: He's like peoples like mmmm not, okay, give it to

1109
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:03,319
Speaker 6: me right now, give it here.

1110
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:04,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's refreshing. I like it.

1111
00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:07,400
Speaker 3: This may seem trivial to some people, but those photos

1112
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:09,839
Speaker 3: are very special to me. And I just don't understand

1113
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:12,080
Speaker 3: as anyone else dealt with this kind of thing. And

1114
00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:15,920
Speaker 3: there is an outdate here, but dang, yeah, no, I

1115
00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:18,120
Speaker 3: think you're good for you studing up yourself. They shouldn't

1116
00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:20,520
Speaker 3: be taking your photos without permission and copying them.

1117
00:45:20,560 --> 00:45:21,440
Speaker 1: That's yeah, strange.

1118
00:45:21,680 --> 00:45:24,240
Speaker 5: Do you think, yes, even though it was a terrible

1119
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:28,120
Speaker 5: miscommunication or no communication whatsoever, do you think they took

1120
00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:31,480
Speaker 5: the photos to try and get her copies to be like, oh,

1121
00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:34,640
Speaker 5: we we are preserving your your photos. You know.

1122
00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:36,400
Speaker 2: I don't know, but that should have been from what

1123
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:37,239
Speaker 2: they communicated.

1124
00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:39,120
Speaker 1: It was like we didn't seem like it.

1125
00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:41,160
Speaker 5: No, but like again, like it was really porcupuls, like

1126
00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:43,279
Speaker 5: it was trying to me maybe maybe be like a surprise.

1127
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:46,359
Speaker 6: I don't but yeah, the way it was communicatd was

1128
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:48,080
Speaker 6: like we want some photos of you.

1129
00:45:48,239 --> 00:45:50,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't know, Like what's the reasoning of why

1130
00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:52,359
Speaker 5: you really took those photos. There's no way you like, oh,

1131
00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:54,000
Speaker 5: we took those photos because we needed photos of our

1132
00:45:54,280 --> 00:45:55,480
Speaker 5: you know, daughter in law.

1133
00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:57,319
Speaker 2: I think it's strange, but I don't think it would

1134
00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:58,080
Speaker 2: be the weirdest thing.

1135
00:45:58,239 --> 00:46:00,000
Speaker 5: But they were like, also, aren't they like baby photos

1136
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:02,719
Speaker 5: or something like that, photos of op Yeah, which is

1137
00:46:02,719 --> 00:46:03,920
Speaker 5: why it's like so strange.

1138
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:05,120
Speaker 2: Why do you need baby photos?

1139
00:46:05,239 --> 00:46:06,360
Speaker 1: It's not like wedding photos.

1140
00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:09,759
Speaker 6: It's strange, but again, I think it's not the craziest thing.

1141
00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:13,080
Speaker 1: It's like crazy, but extremely odd. It's just it's not

1142
00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:15,160
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say it's like insane. It's just rude.

1143
00:46:15,480 --> 00:46:18,080
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's rude to not ask permission because you're handling

1144
00:46:18,120 --> 00:46:22,520
Speaker 6: someone's photos and you're sending them away, yes, and you're

1145
00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:24,760
Speaker 6: getting copies of them when they're not yours.

1146
00:46:25,239 --> 00:46:26,000
Speaker 1: But there is an update.

1147
00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:29,200
Speaker 3: Okay, she started this process on August tenth, So for

1148
00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:31,400
Speaker 3: nearly a month now, this photo lab has had my

1149
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:32,560
Speaker 3: pictures and she said.

1150
00:46:32,320 --> 00:46:33,040
Speaker 1: Nothing about it.

1151
00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:35,759
Speaker 3: Whoa, so oh, so it's not so basically, it's not

1152
00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:37,759
Speaker 3: even been like a couple of days, like she just

1153
00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:38,279
Speaker 3: sent them out.

1154
00:46:38,320 --> 00:46:40,840
Speaker 1: She they've been out for a month.

1155
00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:44,440
Speaker 3: The mother in law started the process on August tenth,

1156
00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:47,120
Speaker 3: and it's been a month that these photos have been.

1157
00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:49,200
Speaker 2: Out to the lab, so it's just like a slow lab.

1158
00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:51,839
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess, but like ope, he's just finding out

1159
00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:53,520
Speaker 3: about it at this point. The good news is that

1160
00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:55,600
Speaker 3: the photos are about ready to be picked up today,

1161
00:46:55,719 --> 00:46:58,080
Speaker 3: as apparently she called and had them rushed after my

1162
00:46:58,160 --> 00:47:01,080
Speaker 3: husband talked to her yesterday. But I'm she had so

1163
00:47:01,280 --> 00:47:04,400
Speaker 3: many opportunities to include me in this process yet refuse

1164
00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:06,520
Speaker 3: to do so, and she is still ignoring my husband

1165
00:47:06,520 --> 00:47:10,040
Speaker 3: and I I'm so glad we're moving away from her toxic,

1166
00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:13,360
Speaker 3: sneaky self. By the way, I would never want you

1167
00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:15,680
Speaker 3: guys to move away from listening to whole episodes of

1168
00:47:15,719 --> 00:47:19,160
Speaker 3: stories like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or

1169
00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:21,759
Speaker 3: your favorite podcast app and search up Okay, story time.

1170
00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:23,320
Speaker 3: But there is a little bit left to the story.

1171
00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:25,440
Speaker 3: And I think we've we've thought our.

1172
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:26,720
Speaker 2: Thoughts, we've thought our thoughts.

1173
00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:28,359
Speaker 1: Let's get into it up to you too.

1174
00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:32,800
Speaker 3: I got the book back, boo nice, all the pictures included, thankfully.

1175
00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:34,839
Speaker 3: Father in law dropped off the photo album and last

1176
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:38,040
Speaker 3: night and gave a half hearted apology, saying they should

1177
00:47:38,040 --> 00:47:41,120
Speaker 3: have asked first. I didn't have the energy to question him.

1178
00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:44,120
Speaker 3: I just said, yeah, you should have, and took the album. Meanwhile,

1179
00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:46,359
Speaker 3: mother in law is ignoring me and my husband and

1180
00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:49,880
Speaker 3: hasn't apologized herself. I have half a kind to just

1181
00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:52,240
Speaker 3: tell her not to come and help us move next week.

1182
00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:54,359
Speaker 3: I want her to at least be on okay enough

1183
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:56,160
Speaker 3: terms for her to say bye to the kids. But

1184
00:47:56,200 --> 00:47:58,560
Speaker 3: the last time she did talk to me, she mildly

1185
00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:01,560
Speaker 3: chastised me about how far away will be. It's three

1186
00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:03,640
Speaker 3: hours by car, two and a half if you go

1187
00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:06,200
Speaker 3: at the right time. I'm just so done with both

1188
00:48:06,239 --> 00:48:08,319
Speaker 3: mother in law and father in law and I'm very

1189
00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:12,160
Speaker 3: glad to be leaving them, and they're guilt ridden shenanigans behind,

1190
00:48:12,440 --> 00:48:14,080
Speaker 3: and that is the end.

1191
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:14,760
Speaker 1: Of that story.

1192
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:17,280
Speaker 3: But yeah, good for you for standing up for yourself

1193
00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:17,719
Speaker 3: and get your.

1194
00:48:17,680 --> 00:48:19,960
Speaker 2: Photos back, for sure. And also I don't think they

1195
00:48:19,960 --> 00:48:22,240
Speaker 2: did like the crazy. It was for sure rude.

1196
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:24,000
Speaker 1: It wasn't like including you.

1197
00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:28,360
Speaker 6: And the process to not communicate, to not ask your permission.

1198
00:48:28,840 --> 00:48:31,719
Speaker 2: I don't think it was like the craziest thing.

1199
00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:36,319
Speaker 6: But hopefully when the mom, the mom is probably just

1200
00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:40,000
Speaker 6: dealing with like guilt or just emotions that like being

1201
00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:42,479
Speaker 6: called out yea, And so hopefully when those calmed down,

1202
00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:45,920
Speaker 6: could look with fresh eyes and be like, yeah, you're.

1203
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:47,760
Speaker 2: Right, I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry.

1204
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:51,120
Speaker 6: So hopefully hopefully she could give like an actual apology.

1205
00:48:51,239 --> 00:48:53,560
Speaker 1: But let's get into this next story. It's John you

1206
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:54,200
Speaker 1: og host here.

1207
00:48:54,239 --> 00:48:55,600
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to the stories. But he's a

1208
00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:57,680
Speaker 2: quick three minute break of assim or sponsors.

1209
00:48:58,280 --> 00:49:02,280
Speaker 6: My weight was in sould at a funeral. My boyfriend

1210
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:04,759
Speaker 6: just let it happen. That's a bad boyfriend, bad move.

1211
00:49:04,840 --> 00:49:07,240
Speaker 6: I twenty three year old female, have been with my boyfriend,

1212
00:49:07,239 --> 00:49:09,880
Speaker 6: twenty six year old male for eleven months dating and

1213
00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:13,279
Speaker 6: six months in a committed relationship. In context, we are

1214
00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:16,560
Speaker 6: in a small Latin American country and his grandfather is

1215
00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:20,680
Speaker 6: Slash was a popular singer stoo It's national music, mostly

1216
00:49:20,719 --> 00:49:22,840
Speaker 6: heard during Christmas, but he was kind of a big

1217
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:25,040
Speaker 6: deal in the eighties and nineties. And after work, my

1218
00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:27,640
Speaker 6: mom's sixty year old female and sister nineteen year old

1219
00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:29,879
Speaker 6: female went to the funeral to be with him and

1220
00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:30,800
Speaker 6: his family.

1221
00:49:30,920 --> 00:49:32,080
Speaker 2: And by the way, this.

1222
00:49:32,040 --> 00:49:37,120
Speaker 6: Comes from you queenack CRF on the rok Storytime subreddit.

1223
00:49:37,200 --> 00:49:39,400
Speaker 6: So he went earlier with his friends who have been

1224
00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:41,360
Speaker 6: his friends since he was a kid. I was a

1225
00:49:41,360 --> 00:49:43,719
Speaker 6: bit uncomfortable because I didn't know people there. He was

1226
00:49:43,719 --> 00:49:45,759
Speaker 6: with his friends, but I wasn't there for me but

1227
00:49:45,800 --> 00:49:48,040
Speaker 6: for him and to be respectful to his parents and

1228
00:49:48,080 --> 00:49:50,800
Speaker 6: their grief. Once they started closing down, we started talking

1229
00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:52,719
Speaker 6: with his mom, fifty three year old female, and dad,

1230
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:55,200
Speaker 6: two year old male. His mom started to say, my

1231
00:49:55,320 --> 00:49:58,400
Speaker 6: sister has lost weight and she looks good. She's gorgeous

1232
00:49:58,400 --> 00:50:00,440
Speaker 6: and has always been. She's not obese there was in

1233
00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:02,839
Speaker 6: the past, just chubby because birth control pills. And then

1234
00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:05,239
Speaker 6: looks at me and asked me when I'm gonna do

1235
00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:05,680
Speaker 6: the same.

1236
00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:08,359
Speaker 1: Dang, what she's like.

1237
00:50:08,680 --> 00:50:10,440
Speaker 2: Your sister looks great, lost some weight.

1238
00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:13,480
Speaker 1: What are you gonna shut your mouth?

1239
00:50:13,719 --> 00:50:14,640
Speaker 2: It's such a mean thing.

1240
00:50:14,800 --> 00:50:17,320
Speaker 6: My boyfriend is also a personal trainer and he trains

1241
00:50:17,400 --> 00:50:19,200
Speaker 6: me and my sister. But she was telling him to

1242
00:50:19,239 --> 00:50:21,360
Speaker 6: be more serious with me. She's like, you're training the

1243
00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:24,239
Speaker 6: sister a little too much. You got your priorities wrong.

1244
00:50:24,320 --> 00:50:27,319
Speaker 6: Focus on your wife or your girlfriend. Then my mom

1245
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:30,359
Speaker 6: tells her his son is the one eating out every

1246
00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:33,120
Speaker 6: day and he's the one taking us. Me and my

1247
00:50:33,239 --> 00:50:36,279
Speaker 6: sister to eat, so that the mom against mom right now,

1248
00:50:36,680 --> 00:50:39,360
Speaker 6: Mom y mom, Mom would be mom. I have gained

1249
00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:41,640
Speaker 6: with I have always been chubby or obese, but I

1250
00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:43,880
Speaker 6: have been thinner before and right now I'm overweight and

1251
00:50:43,920 --> 00:50:45,719
Speaker 6: I'm working out, eating better and all of that. But

1252
00:50:45,760 --> 00:50:47,719
Speaker 6: I'm pretty active and I've always been. It's just that

1253
00:50:47,719 --> 00:50:49,440
Speaker 6: I tend to eat whatever, and I don't have the

1254
00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:51,759
Speaker 6: best sleep schedule, so I maintained myself. But I don't

1255
00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:54,759
Speaker 6: get dinner, That's okay. His dad came and started mocking me,

1256
00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:59,080
Speaker 6: saying that I probably like burgers with tons of dip

1257
00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:02,160
Speaker 6: and told me my sister that we're the fatty one.

1258
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:05,440
Speaker 1: Who is this like like eighties movie bullies.

1259
00:51:06,480 --> 00:51:10,719
Speaker 5: This is also at a funeral, so out of pocket.

1260
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:12,680
Speaker 1: Fat one.

1261
00:51:12,719 --> 00:51:15,239
Speaker 2: You're like, what the hell? Why are you bullying me?

1262
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:17,920
Speaker 5: I also found this, I think is this is the singer.

1263
00:51:18,320 --> 00:51:22,640
Speaker 5: It's Adultceadulcha. That's the one I literally typed in Latin

1264
00:51:22,680 --> 00:51:25,160
Speaker 5: American singer patched Away on that date and that's the

1265
00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:25,759
Speaker 5: one that popped up.

1266
00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:28,000
Speaker 2: So adult okay, Rip Dulce all right?

1267
00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:30,799
Speaker 6: My mom, I and my sister were uncomfortable trying to

1268
00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:33,239
Speaker 6: laugh it out and not making laugh at deal. I

1269
00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:34,879
Speaker 6: just tried to think that he's going through a lot

1270
00:51:34,960 --> 00:51:37,719
Speaker 6: losing his father. But I felt horrible because I know

1271
00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:40,319
Speaker 6: I'm fat. I need I know I need to lose weight,

1272
00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:42,640
Speaker 6: but it's not his business to mock me in that way.

1273
00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:44,040
Speaker 6: When I was there to be a support for his

1274
00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:46,520
Speaker 6: son and his family, my boyfriend was just their silence.

1275
00:51:46,719 --> 00:51:49,440
Speaker 6: I'd be furious and my partner if they stayed silent

1276
00:51:49,520 --> 00:51:53,279
Speaker 6: as their parents ridiculed me for my body.

1277
00:51:53,040 --> 00:51:55,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd be pissed. I'd be like bye.

1278
00:51:55,719 --> 00:51:58,040
Speaker 6: My boyfriend was just there, silent, and then his mom

1279
00:51:58,080 --> 00:52:00,640
Speaker 6: asked if he'd be leaving with us, he had more space.

1280
00:52:00,719 --> 00:52:02,759
Speaker 6: We also lived nearby, so he decided to leave with

1281
00:52:02,800 --> 00:52:04,720
Speaker 6: his female best friend and his other friends.

1282
00:52:04,760 --> 00:52:06,840
Speaker 2: His mom looked at me like she was surprised, and

1283
00:52:06,880 --> 00:52:07,239
Speaker 2: I was.

1284
00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:09,600
Speaker 6: Disappointed because I knew he was gonna leave with them,

1285
00:52:09,680 --> 00:52:11,319
Speaker 6: but I still wanted him to be with me. I

1286
00:52:11,320 --> 00:52:13,279
Speaker 6: don't know if I'm overreacting or if I should tell

1287
00:52:13,360 --> 00:52:15,319
Speaker 6: him how I feel about being left out and how

1288
00:52:15,360 --> 00:52:18,040
Speaker 6: his parents acted with me. Both my mom, my mom,

1289
00:52:18,200 --> 00:52:20,719
Speaker 6: and siss told me it was all pretty weird and uncomfortable.

1290
00:52:20,719 --> 00:52:22,319
Speaker 6: But I'm trying to be mindful of how they feel

1291
00:52:22,360 --> 00:52:25,240
Speaker 6: right now, because they're all pretty close to his grandfather. However,

1292
00:52:25,320 --> 00:52:26,880
Speaker 6: I feel like I was in front of my biggest

1293
00:52:26,920 --> 00:52:28,160
Speaker 6: bullies in existence.

1294
00:52:28,760 --> 00:52:31,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, legitimately they're bullying you.

1295
00:52:31,960 --> 00:52:35,160
Speaker 2: It's like it's like a middle school bullys. Yeah, like cruel,

1296
00:52:35,800 --> 00:52:36,640
Speaker 2: just same coin.

1297
00:52:37,840 --> 00:52:41,560
Speaker 6: Like just blatant, like insulting. I already deal with body issues,

1298
00:52:41,600 --> 00:52:43,520
Speaker 6: and this was just a confirmation of my thoughts.

1299
00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:44,359
Speaker 2: So what should I do?

1300
00:52:44,480 --> 00:52:46,320
Speaker 6: Would I be wrong if I complained to my boyfriend

1301
00:52:46,360 --> 00:52:48,600
Speaker 6: about his and his family's behavior during his grandfather's funeral.

1302
00:52:48,760 --> 00:52:51,359
Speaker 3: No, I don't think you would be wrong at all saying, hey,

1303
00:52:51,440 --> 00:52:53,520
Speaker 3: your your family was pretty cruel to me, and you

1304
00:52:53,560 --> 00:52:55,120
Speaker 3: didn't say anything, what's up with that?

1305
00:52:55,160 --> 00:52:56,759
Speaker 2: I would be confused if you didn't.

1306
00:52:56,480 --> 00:52:58,880
Speaker 3: Say something, Yeah, Like that's a I mean, you're in

1307
00:52:58,920 --> 00:53:00,719
Speaker 3: a relationship with a person, and then you would hope

1308
00:53:00,719 --> 00:53:02,040
Speaker 3: that they're on your they have your back.

1309
00:53:02,120 --> 00:53:04,160
Speaker 1: So I think it's very fair to be like, why

1310
00:53:04,200 --> 00:53:04,840
Speaker 1: didn't you?

1311
00:53:04,920 --> 00:53:08,400
Speaker 6: Yeah, and if their family is blatantly bullying, insulting you

1312
00:53:08,440 --> 00:53:11,600
Speaker 6: and disrespecting you, yeah, and your partner in the moment

1313
00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:14,360
Speaker 6: is not sticking up for you or after the fact

1314
00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:17,640
Speaker 6: not saying anything. Yeah, you have every right to be

1315
00:53:17,920 --> 00:53:21,160
Speaker 6: so upset, absolutely, and to be like, why did you

1316
00:53:21,239 --> 00:53:22,480
Speaker 6: not say something?

1317
00:53:22,719 --> 00:53:24,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm so hurt that you didn't say something.

1318
00:53:24,640 --> 00:53:25,120
Speaker 1: I agree.

1319
00:53:25,280 --> 00:53:27,480
Speaker 6: Update That same night, he called me and texted me

1320
00:53:27,520 --> 00:53:29,759
Speaker 6: to come to my house and sleep together. Honestly, I

1321
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:31,799
Speaker 6: was feeling really bad and I didn't want to see him,

1322
00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:34,320
Speaker 6: but also felt bad with everything happening with his granddad,

1323
00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:36,439
Speaker 6: so I accepted. He noticed I was cold and asked,

1324
00:53:36,440 --> 00:53:37,120
Speaker 6: what happened?

1325
00:53:37,520 --> 00:53:39,399
Speaker 1: Is this guy dumb? What do you mean?

1326
00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:40,080
Speaker 2: What happened?

1327
00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:41,040
Speaker 1: This guy stupid?

1328
00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:42,439
Speaker 2: What happened? What's wrong?

1329
00:53:42,960 --> 00:53:44,080
Speaker 1: Were you so cold?

1330
00:53:44,200 --> 00:53:44,359
Speaker 6: Bit?

1331
00:53:44,760 --> 00:53:45,520
Speaker 2: Or are you something wrong?

1332
00:53:45,600 --> 00:53:50,319
Speaker 5: You can say you were just said because of the funeral, right, Yeah, to.

1333
00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:51,680
Speaker 2: Ask what happened?

1334
00:53:51,680 --> 00:53:53,960
Speaker 6: And after talking with my sister, I decided to send

1335
00:53:54,040 --> 00:53:55,440
Speaker 6: him the Reddit post directly.

1336
00:53:55,719 --> 00:53:57,360
Speaker 1: She's like, you know what, I don't even have the

1337
00:53:57,640 --> 00:53:58,520
Speaker 1: energy here you go.

1338
00:53:58,680 --> 00:54:02,080
Speaker 6: So she's just like roasted him online. I guess you didn't.

1339
00:54:03,320 --> 00:54:05,080
Speaker 6: She like wrote out the whole story and then like

1340
00:54:05,200 --> 00:54:05,879
Speaker 6: sent it him.

1341
00:54:05,960 --> 00:54:06,279
Speaker 1: I guess.

1342
00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:07,720
Speaker 2: So I found that a little strange.

1343
00:54:07,719 --> 00:54:10,719
Speaker 3: I think sometimes writing things out from your perspectives could

1344
00:54:10,719 --> 00:54:12,560
Speaker 3: be helpful if you don't know how to verbally.

1345
00:54:12,239 --> 00:54:15,320
Speaker 6: Say sure, but it's like I post I'm upset of

1346
00:54:15,360 --> 00:54:17,600
Speaker 6: this thing, and yeah, the first time I'm sharing it

1347
00:54:17,640 --> 00:54:19,359
Speaker 6: with you, but just to let you know, I shared

1348
00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:20,160
Speaker 6: it online forever.

1349
00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:22,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess if she told him, Yeah, if she

1350
00:54:22,400 --> 00:54:25,440
Speaker 3: directly shared it with him rather than like copy and pasted.

1351
00:54:25,560 --> 00:54:27,879
Speaker 5: Also, I wanted to update it's not Dulce because Dulce

1352
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:30,480
Speaker 5: is a woman and it's a grandpa. So because someone

1353
00:54:30,480 --> 00:54:32,000
Speaker 5: said that, I look it up a little bit more.

1354
00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:35,880
Speaker 5: I'm the only other person who passed away in that

1355
00:54:36,080 --> 00:54:39,360
Speaker 5: near time is sergiomend this. I cannot find this singer.

1356
00:54:40,160 --> 00:54:41,320
Speaker 5: That's the only one I found.

1357
00:54:41,080 --> 00:54:43,360
Speaker 1: On that date, So it might be Sergio Mendez.

1358
00:54:43,160 --> 00:54:45,120
Speaker 5: Might be I don't know. I don't want to say like, oh,

1359
00:54:45,120 --> 00:54:47,840
Speaker 5: that's it, but like Sergiomen, he gave me the details

1360
00:54:47,840 --> 00:54:49,680
Speaker 5: and those those are the guys.

1361
00:54:49,719 --> 00:54:51,240
Speaker 1: It's Sergio Mendez.

1362
00:54:51,360 --> 00:54:54,680
Speaker 6: Sofia okay. I decided to send him the Reddit post directly.

1363
00:54:54,760 --> 00:54:57,239
Speaker 6: He told me they have always been this way, and

1364
00:54:57,280 --> 00:54:59,960
Speaker 6: he had discussions with them before about their comments, as

1365
00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:02,040
Speaker 6: he's a slim guy and he tends to be really

1366
00:55:02,080 --> 00:55:03,759
Speaker 6: thin if he doesn't work out or eat enough, and

1367
00:55:03,760 --> 00:55:05,759
Speaker 6: they always made mean comments to him about it. He

1368
00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:07,600
Speaker 6: told me he didn't pay attention to the comments, but

1369
00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:09,239
Speaker 6: that he saw my point and he saw why it

1370
00:55:09,280 --> 00:55:12,400
Speaker 6: made me feel bad. I get it, Like you're living

1371
00:55:12,440 --> 00:55:15,880
Speaker 6: with parents who like this is just what the behavior

1372
00:55:15,920 --> 00:55:17,640
Speaker 6: you had to live with your whole life of them,

1373
00:55:17,680 --> 00:55:20,759
Speaker 6: and you know, insulting body and pointing out you know,

1374
00:55:20,840 --> 00:55:21,520
Speaker 6: body things.

1375
00:55:22,040 --> 00:55:25,080
Speaker 2: But it's it should it should be so obvious that.

1376
00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:26,759
Speaker 6: If they're they're not doing it to you that you're

1377
00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:28,920
Speaker 6: used to it, they're doing it to your partner, and

1378
00:55:28,920 --> 00:55:31,200
Speaker 6: it should be so obvious that you let your partner

1379
00:55:31,320 --> 00:55:33,360
Speaker 6: down by not standing up or protect me.

1380
00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:35,719
Speaker 3: No, I can't imagine, like you know, I mean, my

1381
00:55:35,719 --> 00:55:37,560
Speaker 3: parents wouldn't do this, but like if my parents were,

1382
00:55:37,760 --> 00:55:40,879
Speaker 3: it's you know, consistently throughout my life had been seeing

1383
00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:43,120
Speaker 3: stuff by my body and I'm like, you know what

1384
00:55:43,160 --> 00:55:45,560
Speaker 3: this is whatever, it's my parents, but like letting them

1385
00:55:45,600 --> 00:55:47,440
Speaker 3: do it to another person like a friend or.

1386
00:55:47,560 --> 00:55:49,840
Speaker 6: Like, it's it just feels like it's just a little

1387
00:55:49,880 --> 00:55:52,760
Speaker 6: bit of a self awareness to realize like it's so different,

1388
00:55:52,760 --> 00:55:55,279
Speaker 6: then it's not okay, and that someone would be really

1389
00:55:55,360 --> 00:55:57,520
Speaker 6: hurt by it. I told him that if something like

1390
00:55:57,560 --> 00:55:59,440
Speaker 6: that happens again, and he doesn't say a thing, I'm

1391
00:55:59,440 --> 00:56:01,880
Speaker 6: breaking up with him. I didn't want my future children,

1392
00:56:01,920 --> 00:56:03,719
Speaker 6: if we get to that point, to spend any time

1393
00:56:03,719 --> 00:56:05,680
Speaker 6: alone with them, because I won't let his parents be

1394
00:56:05,760 --> 00:56:06,080
Speaker 6: that way.

1395
00:56:06,200 --> 00:56:07,640
Speaker 2: Already had that war with.

1396
00:56:07,480 --> 00:56:10,399
Speaker 6: My own family mom, aunts and uncles, and I won't

1397
00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:13,200
Speaker 6: put the same effort into his family. Regarding his female

1398
00:56:13,200 --> 00:56:15,120
Speaker 6: best friend and his friends, he told me they just

1399
00:56:15,120 --> 00:56:17,000
Speaker 6: gave him a ride and he felt bad not leaving

1400
00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:18,680
Speaker 6: with them when they went out of their way to

1401
00:56:18,680 --> 00:56:20,840
Speaker 6: be with him. They all lived near each other except

1402
00:56:20,840 --> 00:56:23,160
Speaker 6: the girl. She lives in another place. I honestly didn't

1403
00:56:23,200 --> 00:56:24,680
Speaker 6: have an issue with her. Where friendly and have my

1404
00:56:24,680 --> 00:56:27,200
Speaker 6: hang out before, and he was calling me right away

1405
00:56:27,200 --> 00:56:29,360
Speaker 6: to ask if he could come. So there's no suspicion

1406
00:56:29,640 --> 00:56:32,919
Speaker 6: of something happening, and we would never be suspicious of you.

1407
00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:34,480
Speaker 2: If you joined us.

1408
00:56:34,520 --> 00:56:36,440
Speaker 6: To listen to the full episodes the stories like list,

1409
00:56:36,560 --> 00:56:40,000
Speaker 6: just go to Spotify, Apple Music, wherever you listen to podcasts,

1410
00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:42,960
Speaker 6: search Okay story time. So far, nothing else has happened,

1411
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:46,360
Speaker 6: but maybebe I'll see his parents again, as his mom's

1412
00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:48,719
Speaker 6: birthday was on Sunday and they didn't do anything as

1413
00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:51,600
Speaker 6: per the passing away of his granddad and my birthday

1414
00:56:51,640 --> 00:56:54,240
Speaker 6: is this upcoming weekend, and she's asking to do something,

1415
00:56:54,280 --> 00:56:55,960
Speaker 6: but I'm not sure as I don't want to see

1416
00:56:55,960 --> 00:56:58,520
Speaker 6: them and have avoided them the few moments we could

1417
00:56:58,719 --> 00:57:01,319
Speaker 6: have encountered each other. So I'll have a birthday party

1418
00:57:01,360 --> 00:57:03,319
Speaker 6: on Friday and everyone I love will be there, So

1419
00:57:03,360 --> 00:57:05,360
Speaker 6: I'm pretty happy about it. Thanks everyone for all the

1420
00:57:05,360 --> 00:57:07,400
Speaker 6: comments and the support. If my boyfriend doesn't stand up

1421
00:57:07,400 --> 00:57:09,040
Speaker 6: for me in any other occasion, I'll make sure to

1422
00:57:09,120 --> 00:57:11,279
Speaker 6: update you and let you all tell me I told

1423
00:57:11,320 --> 00:57:11,560
Speaker 6: you so.

1424
00:57:12,120 --> 00:57:14,160
Speaker 3: Hopefully not, Hopefully he does stand up for you and

1425
00:57:14,200 --> 00:57:16,200
Speaker 3: he learns from this this experience.

1426
00:57:16,240 --> 00:57:18,480
Speaker 6: I feel like it would be it would be like

1427
00:57:18,480 --> 00:57:21,480
Speaker 6: a display of trust if he didn't wait till the

1428
00:57:21,520 --> 00:57:21,959
Speaker 6: next time.

1429
00:57:22,320 --> 00:57:24,200
Speaker 2: But like, talk to parent back.

1430
00:57:24,240 --> 00:57:25,760
Speaker 1: I think that you have to.

1431
00:57:25,760 --> 00:57:28,640
Speaker 6: Wait till the next time, but be like hey, parents, like, yeah,

1432
00:57:28,720 --> 00:57:30,200
Speaker 6: we don't need to do this at the funeral.

1433
00:57:30,600 --> 00:57:32,040
Speaker 2: This was rude, not okay.

1434
00:57:32,160 --> 00:57:34,520
Speaker 3: I think that's a great point. I think it's like, no,

1435
00:57:34,640 --> 00:57:36,880
Speaker 3: I don't want to wait until your parents disrespect me again.

1436
00:57:37,040 --> 00:57:39,760
Speaker 3: Go talk to them now. You don't like why wait,

1437
00:57:40,120 --> 00:57:43,040
Speaker 3: it's still a pro it's still an issue, hasn't been resolved.

1438
00:57:43,080 --> 00:57:44,400
Speaker 2: Thanks Dell. Girl is spine.

1439
00:57:44,640 --> 00:57:45,920
Speaker 5: I don't know, man, that sucks.

1440
00:57:46,120 --> 00:57:48,600
Speaker 2: Stand up for your partner, Yes, for your partner, But

1441
00:57:48,640 --> 00:57:48,720
Speaker 2: that

1442
00:57:48,800 --> 00:57:50,440
Speaker 3: Is the end of that story and the end of

1443
00:57:50,440 --> 00:57:51,000
Speaker 3: this episode.