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Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. Trump

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Speaker 1: is filing to have his January sixth trials start, not

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Speaker 1: in one hundred and thirty eight days from now by,

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Speaker 1: in April twenty twenty six, and presumably that is the

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Speaker 1: date he and his attorneys have chosen because the twelfth

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Speaker 1: of never would not fit on the legal form. It

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Speaker 1: is hilarious and megalomaniacal. And no, it is not a stretch.

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Speaker 1: It is more like several dozen stretches. The proposed trial

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Speaker 1: timeline is literally filled with long, empty stretches because Trump

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Speaker 1: included a bar graph claiming that the height of the

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Speaker 1: evidence that he has to go through and the other

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Speaker 1: paperwork is four eight and twenty two feet. Next to

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Speaker 1: it is the height of a water Washington Monument at

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Speaker 1: five hundred and fifty five feet, and then the Statue

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Speaker 1: of Liberty at three hundred and five feet. And they

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Speaker 1: went to all the trouble to make it on Microsoft

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Speaker 1: Word with the three D chart function, so the judge

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Speaker 1: just has to agree with them. And the whole thing

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Speaker 1: is funny and stupid and almost pitiable, and then you

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Speaker 1: realize that at its heart, at its essence, this is

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Speaker 1: evidence of the fact that Trump not only needs to

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Speaker 1: be elected president for the sole purpose of not dying

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Speaker 1: in prison, but that he would then have no possible

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Speaker 1: motive to willingly surrender power ever, and no possible motive

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Speaker 1: to leave office at the end of a god forbid

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Speaker 1: second term in twenty twenty nine, And that it was

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Speaker 1: not a coincidence that in a post yesterday he dog

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Speaker 1: whistled to his cult for political violence by repeating a

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Speaker 1: phrase which he spoke just before he sent them into

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Speaker 1: the Capitol to murder the Congress and the Senate and

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Speaker 1: the Vice President and the democracy on January quote, Republicans

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Speaker 1: have to be much tougher and smarter, or you won't

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Speaker 1: have a party or country left unquote. The answer to

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Speaker 1: Jack Smith's proposed case calendar should be a reminder that

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Speaker 1: everybody else is running for president, but Trump is running

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Speaker 1: for survival, and he has thus decided to run for

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Speaker 1: dictator for life. There is no hyperbole in the use

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Speaker 1: of that phrase, and that it is as obvious a

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Speaker 1: decision to him, as necessary a goal, as simple a

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Speaker 1: process as the decision would be for you to bring

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Speaker 1: an umbrella with you. If the forecast said it's going

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Speaker 1: to rain. All the references to terminating the Constitution are

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Speaker 1: not there to gin up the base, and all the

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Speaker 1: mock campaign posters reading Trump twenty twenty eight and Trump

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Speaker 1: twenty thirty two and Trump twenty forty four, they're not

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Speaker 1: there to own the Libs to use the cliche of

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Speaker 1: the moment, January sixth was not a bug, but a feature.

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Speaker 1: And while anybody else would learn from it, all he

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Speaker 1: has learned from it is how to coop better next time.

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Speaker 1: Before it was held, he didn't reveal or admit that

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Speaker 1: he wouldn't accept the outcome of the twenty twenty election.

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Speaker 1: He boasted that as early as September twenty sixteen, he

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Speaker 1: refused to say he would accept the outcome of the

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Speaker 1: twenty sixteen election. In February twenty sixteen, he demanded a

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Speaker 1: new set of Iowa caucuses because he hadn't won the

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Speaker 1: one they had just held. In November twenty twelve, he

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Speaker 1: not only called the reelection of Barack Obama a travesty,

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Speaker 1: but actually literally and specifically called for insurrection. Quote we

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Speaker 1: can't let this happen. We should march on Washington and

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Speaker 1: stop this travesty unquote. Trump's attempt to end representative government

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Speaker 1: in this country did not begin on January sixth, twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty one, or in his plot leading up to that coup.

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Speaker 1: It is at least eleven years old, and we have

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Speaker 1: to stop putting it out of our minds here and

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Speaker 1: replacing the old sleepwalking mantra it can't happen here with well,

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Speaker 1: it can't happen here again. Trump also cannot literally accept

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Speaker 1: that he has lost I once saw this, maybe thirty

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Speaker 1: forty years ago, a compulsive talker interviewed on sixty minutes,

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Speaker 1: and the interviewer said, are you compelled to keep talking

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Speaker 1: because you fear that if you stop, other people will

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Speaker 1: insult you or laugh at you? And the woman burst

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Speaker 1: into tears and had to be helped up from the chair.

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Speaker 1: Trump is like that his existence depends on reinforcing his

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Speaker 1: own confidence that he is infallible and omnipot. This trial

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Speaker 1: calendar proposed by Trump and his attorneys is his philosophy

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Speaker 1: in miniature, and also it is his only means of

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Speaker 1: survival in miniature, if anybody ever gets him to admit

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Speaker 1: to others, to himself, sincerely, not just to deceive other

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Speaker 1: people that he has lost. I suspect, he will stroke

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Speaker 1: out or at least be unable to function. He is

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Speaker 1: the victim, he is the rightful ruler. He will be avenged.

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Speaker 1: He will not accept a trial before the twenty twenty

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Speaker 1: four election. He will not accept a trial in twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty five because if he were to lose the election,

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Speaker 1: he would be too busy in twenty twenty five trying

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Speaker 1: to overthrow the government from outside. And of course, he

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Speaker 1: also wouldn't accept one in twenty twenty five, because if

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Speaker 1: he were to win the election, he would be too

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Speaker 1: busy in twenty twenty five dismantling the various prosecutions against him.

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Speaker 1: And oh yeah, in the most cynical and manipulative part

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Speaker 1: of this whole stall tactic, well you can't criminally try

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Speaker 1: a sitting president or a sitting dictator for life. The

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Speaker 1: former Republican Congressman David Jolly not exactly a flaming liberal,

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Speaker 1: and so what if he was, why would that make

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Speaker 1: his analysis any less valid. It's like saying, well, he's

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Speaker 1: a never trumper, so let me take a page from

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Speaker 1: the America First fascist cult and assert Jesus would be

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Speaker 1: a never trumper. David Jolly says, quote. If Trump gets reelected,

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Speaker 1: all bets are off on the Constitution surviving the tests

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Speaker 1: he'll throw at it. His movements would support anything he tries,

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Speaker 1: regardless of constitutional provisions unquote. And why would Jolly say that.

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Speaker 1: In twenty twenty, Trump was ready to turn the military

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Speaker 1: on American citizens exercising their right to protest at his

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Speaker 1: Toties like Jeff Clark have said, that's what the Insurrection

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Speaker 1: Act is for. And only last month Trump docks Barack

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Speaker 1: Obama and one of his ad hoc stormtroopers went to

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Speaker 1: the address to try to hunt Obama. And this week

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Speaker 1: Trump's minions docks the grandeurors who indicted him in Atlanta.

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Speaker 1: And he has praised every authoritarian state from China nineteen

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Speaker 1: ninety to Russia twenty twenty three. And I know you

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Speaker 1: all know this, but every week, sometimes every day, our

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Speaker 1: collective desire to pretend we are safe causes these assaults

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Speaker 1: against democracy to slip to back of mind. And we cannot,

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Speaker 1: cannot continue to let down our guard in this way.

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Speaker 1: This is a creature without morals or conscience or guilt.

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Speaker 1: For decades, whatever he is, whyever he is this way?

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Speaker 1: Trump has trained him himself to study humans and their systems,

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Speaker 1: systems of business, of taxation, of contracts of governance, and

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Speaker 1: to find the loopholes and the places where custom and

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Speaker 1: self restraint have been mistaken for laws. There is no bottom,

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Speaker 1: there is nothing to hold him back, there is no shame.

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Speaker 1: In the battle of nerves. He cannot lose because he

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Speaker 1: does not have any human nerves. His lawyers also wrote

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Speaker 1: yesterday to Judge Eileen Cannon, saying she has a pre

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Speaker 1: trial hearing in their case on December eleventh, and now

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Speaker 1: Jack Smith wants to start jury selection in DC on

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Speaker 1: December eleventh, and they want her to take quote appropriate

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Speaker 1: action against Jack Smith and order the special counsel to

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Speaker 1: explain its reasoning. They want a judge he appointed in

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Speaker 1: one jurisdiction to interfere with a judge he did not

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Speaker 1: point in another, like she is a hired hand, which

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Speaker 1: is a decent description of her. And then the case

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Speaker 1: calendar filing in Washington also says he'll need four to

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Speaker 1: six weeks to present his defense in this trial. Four

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Speaker 1: to six weeks, and you may recall he has already

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Speaker 1: promised to try to introduce into evidence somewhere an entire

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Speaker 1: movie as evidence. I think it's called two thousand jackasses.

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Speaker 1: The Life of Dinesh Desuza. The filing asking for the

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Speaker 1: trial to begin not on January twod, twenty twenty four,

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Speaker 1: but sometime in April twenty twenty six, concludes with the

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Speaker 1: most cynical argument imaginable point e quote. The government's proposal

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Speaker 1: conflicts with other cases, and it then lists things like

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Speaker 1: the civil case in New York against Trump begetting this

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Speaker 1: on and another next January, and the Stormy Daniels payoff

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Speaker 1: trial in March, and the Georgia trial next March, and

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Speaker 1: the Mary Lago trial starting next May. You can't put

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Speaker 1: me on trial for my crimes in January. I'm already

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Speaker 1: on trial for my crimes in New York and Atlanta

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Speaker 1: and Florida. You people act like you're the only prosecutor

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Speaker 1: and the only judge in town. I'm already booked that month.

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Speaker 1: It is the goddamned real life version of that worn

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Speaker 1: out cliche. The man murders his parents and then demands

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Speaker 1: mercy because he's an orphan. Trump needs two extra years,

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Speaker 1: two years to prepare for this trial because he's sent

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Speaker 1: you a relentless, lawless, amoral bastard. That he has to

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Speaker 1: spend two years preparing for all the other trials, and

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Speaker 1: of course preparing his insurrectionists for all the other trials.

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Speaker 1: I mean, what was the now canceled next Monday news

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Speaker 1: conference at which she was to replace the lies and

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Speaker 1: fraud that just got him indicted in Georgia with new

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Speaker 1: lies and fraud. What was that but a call stochastic

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Speaker 1: as always, for more violence and more interference against the

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Speaker 1: rule of law. And his lawyers got him to cancel

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Speaker 1: that because there's plenty of time for Fannie Willis to

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Speaker 1: add more accounts. But they didn't tell him that. To

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Speaker 1: get him to cancel it, they had to convince him

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Speaker 1: he had not made a near fatal mistake, that he

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Speaker 1: would be even smarter to use those materials not at

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Speaker 1: a press conference, but in court filings. And the news

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Speaker 1: conference is no longer necessary exclamation point, I'm so smart.

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Speaker 1: Not only does Trump's world view rest on his own infallibility,

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Speaker 1: but so does much of the cult's worldview. These memes

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Speaker 1: depicting him as triumphant, or escorted by lions or anointed

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Speaker 1: by God. These are not just chintzy advertising for the stupid.

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Speaker 1: It is the way he like all authoritarians in human

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Speaker 1: history sees himself and the way most of his cultists

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Speaker 1: see him. Yesterday a Trump cultist who runs the family

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Speaker 1: Bulldozer Company and also insists he is an internationally acclaimed auctioneer.

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Speaker 1: And if you're looking for a skill set for a

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Speaker 1: trumpist or an actual Trump what better than combining bulldozing

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Speaker 1: and auctioneering. This guy wrote to the governor, wrote in

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Speaker 1: his capacity as the Georgia State Senator from District fifty three.

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Speaker 1: It's a high number, so it's better. He insisted that quote,

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Speaker 1: an emergency exists in the affairs of the state, requiring

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Speaker 1: a special session of the Senate to be convened for

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Speaker 1: all purposes to include, without limitation, the review and response

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Speaker 1: to the actions of Fannie Willis unquote. The kid's name

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Speaker 1: is Colton Moore, and sure his eyes appear to be

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Speaker 1: on opposite sides of his head. And yeah, the letter

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Speaker 1: reads we the undersigned, And yeah, it's hilarious that down

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Speaker 1: at the bottom of the page he's the only one

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Speaker 1: who signed it. He's the only undersigned. But this is

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Speaker 1: nothing less than a merger of state sponsored obstruction of

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Speaker 1: justice with Trump sponsored obstruction of justice because Moore had

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Speaker 1: no sooner put out that letter than this cracker was

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Speaker 1: being amplified by the Trump echo chamber in the person

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Speaker 1: a big head Charlie Kirk and making his call to

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Speaker 1: defund the district Attorney's office and impeach the district attorney

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Speaker 1: because she is quote targeting Donald Trump unquote, which is

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Speaker 1: what a district attorney is supposed to do, target goddamned criminals,

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Speaker 1: especially the heads of goddamned organized crime operations. And bluntly,

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Speaker 1: if you stick out your leg and try to trip

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Speaker 1: her by extra constitutional means, whether that is an insurrection

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Speaker 1: at the Capitol or proposing a special session of the

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Speaker 1: Georgia Senate, you he must be charged criminally. It was

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Speaker 1: great to see Fannie Willis's office put out a statement

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Speaker 1: yesterday saying it will respond quickly to any credible threat

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Speaker 1: against the grand jurors who've been docksed. Well, this is

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Speaker 1: a credible threat. Now the District attorney needs to put

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Speaker 1: out a statement saying it has opened a case against

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Speaker 1: State Senator Colton Moore for obstruction of justice and also

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Speaker 1: an investigation of the undersigned if there are any I

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Speaker 1: keep using this term and goddamn it I mean it.

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Speaker 1: The law has to crush Donald Trump. This nation has

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Speaker 1: had eight years of one man who's trying to discontinue gravity,

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Speaker 1: and who, because we are playing by rules that he

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Speaker 1: does not recognize and has found roots around, he has

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Speaker 1: risen to the extremes of political and personal power in

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Speaker 1: our nation. He has committed an ongoing and unceasing crime

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Speaker 1: wave that would have made al Capone blush. And as

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Speaker 1: he prepares to do it again, only this time with

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Speaker 1: all of the benefits of seeing the loopholes and potholes

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Speaker 1: in his own past schemes, we are approaching Trump daintily again.

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Speaker 1: If I was in Fannie Willis's job, I would have

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Speaker 1: tried to get this Fop Colton More indicted yesterday. If

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Speaker 1: I was the governor or attorney general of Arizona, I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't respond to this video of Kelly Ward and the

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Speaker 1: other state lawmakers signing false electoral College documents and convicting

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Speaker 1: themselves of being part of Trump's fake elector's scheme. I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't respond to that by saying, as Governor Hobbs has

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Speaker 1: now said, I have been an advocate for holding folks

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Speaker 1: involved in trying to overturn the will of the voters

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Speaker 1: in the twenty twenty election accountable. I would be indicting

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Speaker 1: Ward and the others and Trump today do it today

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Speaker 1: for if no other reason. Look how full his criminal

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Speaker 1: trial dance card already is. If I was in Judge

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Speaker 1: Tanya Trutkin's role, I would have already had Trump seized

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Speaker 1: and detained for making threats against the prosecutor and the

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Speaker 1: judge repeatedly and in direct contravention of my orders within

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Speaker 1: twenty four hours of my ordering those orders, just like

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Speaker 1: she would have seized and detained literally any other defendant

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Speaker 1: in this country who threatened a judge. If I was

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Speaker 1: in Adam Schiff's position, I would not go on cable

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Speaker 1: news and announce that we will be defeating Trump at

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Speaker 1: the polls. I would emphasize that. Just last week, two

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Speaker 1: ultra conservative constitutional scholars determined that not only is Trump

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Speaker 1: ineligible to go to those polls under the language of

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Speaker 1: Section three of the fourteenth Amendment, that it is not

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Speaker 1: a debate, It does not have to be adjudicated. It

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Speaker 1: is as obvious and as binding as the requirement that

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Speaker 1: anybody who wants to be president has to be at

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Speaker 1: least thirty five years old, Adam Schiff, and every Democrat

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Speaker 1: should be publicizing Trump's in eligibility at every opportunity, and

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Speaker 1: every Democratic state secretary of state should be quote the

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Speaker 1: conservative scholars and saying, the constitution does not allow me

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Speaker 1: to put Trump on my state's presidential ballot. My hands

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Speaker 1: are tied here, so I'm not going to do that.

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Speaker 1: And let the fascists go to court to try to

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Speaker 1: overturn your ruling. And when they do, you come back

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Speaker 1: and you propose a case calendar in which the trial

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Speaker 1: about whether or not Trump should be on the twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty fourth presidential ballot. That trial begins when Trump has

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Speaker 1: just revealed he is next available in April twenty twenty six.

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Speaker 1: And I say all this because it is clearer than ever,

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Speaker 1: and his motives for doing so are more numerous than ever.

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Speaker 1: That Donald Trump is running because if he is not elected,

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Speaker 1: he will die in prison, and he knows it, and

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Speaker 1: he is running to assume power and to never give

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Speaker 1: it up, because if he gives it up, no matter

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Speaker 1: what he has done to the criminal cases in the interim,

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Speaker 1: he will have necessarily committed more and worse crimes and

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Speaker 1: probably by then have tried to kill us all, and

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Speaker 1: we can try for all the new stuff, and we

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Speaker 1: need to throw everything we have at him, lawsuits, state cases, Arizona, Georgia,

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Speaker 1: document trials, insurrection trials, the fourteenth Amendment, and if we

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Speaker 1: can't keep him off the ballot, the goddamnedest series of

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Speaker 1: campaign ads in the history of the world, ones that

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Speaker 1: will make lbj's Daisy Ad and Bush's Willie Horton Ad

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Speaker 1: look more milk toast than I like ike. And right

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Speaker 1: now we are not doing this. Judge Chuckkon is silent.

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Speaker 1: This bozo in Georgia more has that stage to himself.

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Speaker 1: Adam Schiff is not mentioning the fourteenth Amendment, and President

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Speaker 1: Biden has ordered his people to stay above the fray

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Speaker 1: as f that is possible, or smart or merely not

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Speaker 1: incredibly stupid. We are still bringing to life the line

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Speaker 1: from that Star Wars film. I hope after you've lost,

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Speaker 1: and the Empire reigns over the galaxy unopposed, you will

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Speaker 1: find some comfort in the knowledge that you fought according

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Speaker 1: to the rules. Also of note here the sportswashing of

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Speaker 1: the corrupt leader of Saudi Arabia, Prince Mohammed bin Salman,

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Speaker 1: and of his entire nation that has now been expanded

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Speaker 1: to Britwashing. The UK Prime Minister has invited him to

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Speaker 1: visit London. Happily, this prime minister is so bad at

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Speaker 1: his job that one of the dates he has offered

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Speaker 1: for the visit is the fifth anniversary of the Saudis

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Speaker 1: murdering Jamal Kashaki. That's next. This is countdown. This is

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Speaker 1: countdown with Keith Alboman. Postscripts to the news some headlines,

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Speaker 1: some updates, some snarks, some predictions. Date line London, Britain's

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Speaker 1: fifth string Prime Minister Well Cameron May Johnson let us

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Speaker 1: woman Sunak Rishi Sunak ringing the bell on the tone

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Speaker 1: deaf strength machine. Sunak has invited to his nation for

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Speaker 1: an official visit the smirking Saudi Arabian strongman Prince Muhammed

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Speaker 1: ben Salmon, right in the middle of his effort to

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Speaker 1: sportswash Saudi crimes. Sports washed them in the UK and

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Speaker 1: the US. Happily, Sunak is the fifth string Prime Minister,

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Speaker 1: so the dates for the visit that he proposed are

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Speaker 1: reportedly all in the first half of October. So even

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Speaker 1: if Sunak and the Prince don't hit it exactly he

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Speaker 1: will be visiting England on or about the fifth anniversary

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Speaker 1: from October second, twenty eighteen, of the day the journalist

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Speaker 1: Jamal Kashaki was lured to the Saudi embassy in is

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Speaker 1: done bull and then GOLLI, we don't know what happened next.

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Speaker 1: You message accidentally collided with our bone, saw our embassy

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Speaker 1: bone saw dateline Charlotte. Quite the story from that city's

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Speaker 1: WRL television. Eleven years ago. A landlord there was having

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Speaker 1: trouble with one of his renters, went to court, got

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Speaker 1: them evicted for non payment. They still have not paid.

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Speaker 1: They owe two thousand dollars. WRL talked to the landlord

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Speaker 1: and then reported it this way. Quote those former tenants

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Speaker 1: could be North Carolina's next governor and first lady. That's right.

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Speaker 1: The people who skipped out were current Lieutenant Governor Mark

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Speaker 1: Robinson and his wife. Robinson the hardline right pretend tough

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Speaker 1: guy now running for governor, and his spokesman says that

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Speaker 1: the fault for the landlord not getting his too large

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Speaker 1: is the landlord's. It's the landlord's fault. Mike Lonergan quote.

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Speaker 1: The court did not order for him to recover any

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Speaker 1: rent or damages. There is a legal process for that,

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Speaker 1: and the landlord did not pursue it within the statute

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Speaker 1: of limitations. Unquotevo bravo, sir. The next governor of North

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Speaker 1: Carolina got away with not paying the rent, and it's

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Speaker 1: the landlord's fault. Trump will send Robinson a card of

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Speaker 1: congratulations for that one. And dateline New York. You may

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Speaker 1: have noticed that the Democrats here in Fund City and

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Speaker 1: the Empire State are among the worst in the country.

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Speaker 1: Points vaguely towards Mayor Eric Adams as he kisses his

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Speaker 1: reflection in a mirror. Well, even for them, this is

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Speaker 1: a doozy. The Brooklyn Democratic Party not only put Judge

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Speaker 1: Rachel Fryar on the Supreme Court as an acting justice,

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Speaker 1: but it has now made her one of their candidates,

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Speaker 1: one of their Democratic candidates for a full time post

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Speaker 1: on the Supreme Court. And the way things work here,

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Speaker 1: because the Democrats have all the power and none of

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Speaker 1: the brains, that means she will get on to the Court.

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Speaker 1: And ten years ago, Judge Fryar wrote an op ed

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Speaker 1: in the Forward expressing her opposition to Roe v. Wade,

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Speaker 1: a woman judge opposed to choice nominated to the State

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Speaker 1: Supreme Court by the Democrats. If you have extra Democrats

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Speaker 1: in your town, good ones, please ship them to New

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Speaker 1: New York Democratic Party one Mario but not Andrew Cuomo, Plaza, Albany,

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Speaker 1: New York six six five. Addresseee will pay postage still

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Speaker 1: ahead to thank you for your kind comments about yesterday's

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Speaker 1: stories of my late puppy Mishu. And today is Mishu Day.

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Speaker 1: Let me pay tribute to the pure joy of dogs,

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Speaker 1: even the difficult ones, in Fridays with Herber and the

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Speaker 1: Dog that Bit people first time for the daily roundup

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Speaker 1: of the miss grants, morons and Dunning Krueger Effect specimens

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Speaker 1: who constitute today's worst persons in the world. The Bronze

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Speaker 1: Project Veritas, that which is all that remains of the

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Speaker 1: career of the og original grifter, Little Jimmy O'Keeffe. It

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Speaker 1: looks like it's nearing the end, like it's about to

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Speaker 1: go out of business. When O'Keeffe was ousted for having

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Speaker 1: spent all the company money on musicals in which he starred,

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Speaker 1: his colleague Hannah Giles took over. Yesterday, somebody tweeted on

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Speaker 1: the Project Veritas account sos Hannah Giles just fired us all. However,

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Speaker 1: the tweet was then deleted, proving well not all didn't

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Speaker 1: fire all of them. Somebody was left to delete the tweet.

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Speaker 1: Right runners up the Washington Post both sides. Ism and

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Speaker 1: fear of having to answer angry emails is going to

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Speaker 1: destroy this country. The Post had two of the dumbest,

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Speaker 1: most bend over so so far backwards you fall on

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Speaker 1: your face headlines in world history. In the same issue,

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Speaker 1: a style writer named Ben Terris penned a ridiculous piece

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Speaker 1: claiming the less smooth among us have a role model

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Speaker 1: in Ron DeSantis. The headline awkward Americans see themselves in

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Speaker 1: Ron de Santis Seriously. Meanwhile, same issue, Trump flatters himself

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Speaker 1: calls himself a counter puncher, when in fact, if he

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Speaker 1: had a boxing move, it would be a disqualifying jab

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Speaker 1: to the groin. The Post headline about that tripe takes

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Speaker 1: that statement as if it's fact. Trump follows tested counter

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Speaker 1: punch or playbook in face of indictments. Washington Post, Can

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Speaker 1: I have an article about me in which I call

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Speaker 1: myself the greatest man in the history of the world,

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Speaker 1: and then you put the headline on it World's greatest man? Ever?

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Speaker 1: Continues to be great, but our winner for the second

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Speaker 1: time in just three days, Sage Steal Oh, my fired

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Speaker 1: former SportsCenter co host briefly thank god she was on

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Speaker 1: Megan Kelly's radio show for the whole two hours. First

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Speaker 1: of all, to listen to Megan Kelly, one of the

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Speaker 1: most despised people in the history of NBC complaining about

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Speaker 1: anybody else is torture enough. But then to hear Sage Steele,

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Speaker 1: one of the most despised people in the history of ESPN,

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Speaker 1: complaining about anybody else alongside Meghan Kelly. Can I get

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Speaker 1: those knitting needles from my ears? Now? Wednesday's Worst Person winner?

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Speaker 1: And how my email, inbox and text filled up with

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Speaker 1: messages from grateful old friends. She's back. The headline from

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Speaker 1: this her latest cavetch fest. She had to sue ESPN

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Speaker 1: because they treated her differently than they treated the rest

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Speaker 1: of us on air talent. When we talked about things

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Speaker 1: like black Lives Matter or social justice, we got a path.

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Speaker 1: But when she talked about exactly the same thing, like

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Speaker 1: why Barack Obama was allowed to identify as black, she

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Speaker 1: got in trouble. First of all, we didn't get any passes.

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Speaker 1: I went back there in twenty eighteen, not only willing

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Speaker 1: to keep sports and nonsports separate, but wanting to periodically.

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Speaker 1: I'd still get notes from management saying, look, this news

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Speaker 1: development just happened, and asking you're not planning on saying anything,

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Speaker 1: are you? And I would say no, That's why I

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Speaker 1: took the job. Bus. If you think supporting Black Lives

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Speaker 1: Matter and trashing Obama over his racial self identification are

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Speaker 1: the same thing, you are dumber than I thought. And

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Speaker 1: do you know how much work that takes. On the

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Speaker 1: other hand, Sage Steele said, quote, I refuse to be

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Speaker 1: quiet about this anymore. Wait, that was her being quiet.

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Speaker 1: I don't believe there are any witnesses to any period

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Speaker 1: of time in human history when she's been quiet. She added,

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Speaker 1: I don't care anymore because this is my expert sperience.

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Speaker 1: I'm allowed to feel the way I feel. And then finally,

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Speaker 1: when you try to silence me, I'm done Sage quote,

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Speaker 1: I'm done. Unquote. Well she got that part of it right, Steele.

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Speaker 1: Two days worst worse than hell, the world to the

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Speaker 1: number one story on the Countdown and Fridays with Thurber

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Speaker 1: And it's amazing to me in retrospect, how I read

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Speaker 1: all of his wonderful, realistic, not goopy writing about dogs

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Speaker 1: and enjoyed it thoroughly. Years before I was at adopted

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Speaker 1: by a dog. Now reading his dog stories and anecdotes

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Speaker 1: is like reading about a bunch of friends, even that

427
00:29:15,155 --> 00:29:20,515
Speaker 1: one surly friend for whom we must continuously make excuses.

428
00:29:22,475 --> 00:29:29,875
Speaker 1: The dog that bit people by James Thurber. Probably no

429
00:29:30,035 --> 00:29:33,155
Speaker 1: one man should have as many dogs in this life

430
00:29:33,195 --> 00:29:36,435
Speaker 1: as I have had, But there was more pleasure than

431
00:29:36,475 --> 00:29:39,915
Speaker 1: distress in them for me, except in the case of

432
00:29:39,995 --> 00:29:44,195
Speaker 1: an Airdale named Mugs. He gave me more trouble than

433
00:29:44,235 --> 00:29:48,235
Speaker 1: all the other fifty four or five put together. Although

434
00:29:48,955 --> 00:29:52,395
Speaker 1: my moment of keenest embarrassment was the time a Scotch

435
00:29:52,515 --> 00:29:55,435
Speaker 1: Terrier named Jeanie, who had just had six puppies in

436
00:29:55,475 --> 00:29:58,435
Speaker 1: the clothes closet of a fourth floor apartment in New York,

437
00:29:58,835 --> 00:30:02,675
Speaker 1: had the unexpected seventh and last at the corner of

438
00:30:02,715 --> 00:30:05,755
Speaker 1: Eleventh Street and Fifth Avenue during a walk she had

439
00:30:05,755 --> 00:30:09,715
Speaker 1: insisted on taking. Then, too, there was the prize winning

440
00:30:09,755 --> 00:30:13,115
Speaker 1: French poodle, a giant, big black poodle, none of your little,

441
00:30:13,195 --> 00:30:17,555
Speaker 1: untroublesome white miniatures, who got sick riding in the rumble

442
00:30:17,595 --> 00:30:20,075
Speaker 1: seat of a car with me on her way to

443
00:30:20,115 --> 00:30:23,355
Speaker 1: the Greenwich dog Show. She had a red rubber bib

444
00:30:23,515 --> 00:30:26,275
Speaker 1: tucked around her throat, and since a rainstorm came up

445
00:30:26,435 --> 00:30:29,155
Speaker 1: when we were halfway through the Bronx, I had to

446
00:30:29,275 --> 00:30:34,755
Speaker 1: hold over her a small green umbrella really more of

447
00:30:34,795 --> 00:30:38,715
Speaker 1: a parasol. The rain beat down fearfully, and suddenly the

448
00:30:38,795 --> 00:30:41,195
Speaker 1: driver of the car drove into a big garage filled

449
00:30:41,235 --> 00:30:44,155
Speaker 1: with mechanics. It happened so quickly that I forgot to

450
00:30:44,155 --> 00:30:47,675
Speaker 1: put the umbrella down, and I will always remember with

451
00:30:48,035 --> 00:30:53,555
Speaker 1: sickening distress the look of incredulity mixed with hatred that

452
00:30:53,715 --> 00:30:57,035
Speaker 1: came over the face of the particular hardened garage man

453
00:30:57,035 --> 00:30:59,075
Speaker 1: that came over to see what we wanted when he

454
00:30:59,115 --> 00:31:03,115
Speaker 1: took a look at me and the poodle. All garage

455
00:31:03,155 --> 00:31:07,435
Speaker 1: men and people of that in tolerant stripe hate poodles

456
00:31:07,915 --> 00:31:11,635
Speaker 1: with their curious haircuts, especially the pom poms that you

457
00:31:11,755 --> 00:31:13,995
Speaker 1: got to leave on their hips if you expect the

458
00:31:14,035 --> 00:31:19,795
Speaker 1: dogs to win a prize. But the Airdale, as I

459
00:31:19,835 --> 00:31:22,275
Speaker 1: have said, was the worst of all my dogs. He

460
00:31:22,395 --> 00:31:25,235
Speaker 1: really wasn't my dog. Matter of fact, I came home

461
00:31:25,275 --> 00:31:27,355
Speaker 1: from a vacation one summer to find that my brother

462
00:31:27,595 --> 00:31:31,795
Speaker 1: Roy had bought him while I was away. The big, burly,

463
00:31:32,275 --> 00:31:36,115
Speaker 1: choleric dog. He always acted as if he thought I

464
00:31:36,275 --> 00:31:39,915
Speaker 1: wasn't one of the family. There was a slight advantage

465
00:31:39,915 --> 00:31:41,875
Speaker 1: in being one of the family, for he didn't bite

466
00:31:41,915 --> 00:31:45,355
Speaker 1: the family as often as a bit strangers. Still, in

467
00:31:45,395 --> 00:31:48,555
Speaker 1: the years that we had him, he bit everybody but Mother,

468
00:31:49,315 --> 00:31:52,435
Speaker 1: and he made a pass at her once but missed.

469
00:31:53,555 --> 00:31:55,755
Speaker 1: It was during the month when we suddenly had mice,

470
00:31:56,315 --> 00:32:00,075
Speaker 1: and Mugs refused to do anything about them. Nobody ever

471
00:32:00,115 --> 00:32:02,595
Speaker 1: had mice exactly like the mice we had that month.

472
00:32:02,595 --> 00:32:06,755
Speaker 1: They acted like pet mice, almost like mice somebody had trained.

473
00:32:08,755 --> 00:32:11,235
Speaker 1: They were so friendly that one night, when Mother entertained

474
00:32:11,235 --> 00:32:14,515
Speaker 1: at dinner the Freer Realilras, a club she and my

475
00:32:14,595 --> 00:32:17,235
Speaker 1: father had belonged to for twenty years, she put down

476
00:32:17,275 --> 00:32:19,275
Speaker 1: a lot of little dishes with food in them on

477
00:32:19,315 --> 00:32:22,635
Speaker 1: the pantry floor so that the mice would be satisfied

478
00:32:22,635 --> 00:32:24,915
Speaker 1: with that and would not come into the dining room.

479
00:32:26,195 --> 00:32:29,915
Speaker 1: Mugs stayed out in the pantry with the mice lying

480
00:32:29,955 --> 00:32:33,195
Speaker 1: on the floor, growling to himself, not at the mice,

481
00:32:33,795 --> 00:32:35,755
Speaker 1: but about all the people in the next room that

482
00:32:35,795 --> 00:32:39,995
Speaker 1: he would have liked to get at. Mother slipped out

483
00:32:39,995 --> 00:32:42,315
Speaker 1: into the pantry once to see how everything was going.

484
00:32:42,835 --> 00:32:46,275
Speaker 1: Everything was going fine. It made her so mad to

485
00:32:46,275 --> 00:32:49,795
Speaker 1: see Mugs lying there oblivious of the mice. They came

486
00:32:49,915 --> 00:32:54,075
Speaker 1: running up to her that she slapped him, and he

487
00:32:54,315 --> 00:32:58,075
Speaker 1: slashed at her, but didn't make it. He was sorry immediately.

488
00:32:58,435 --> 00:33:02,155
Speaker 1: Mother said, he was always sorry, she said after he

489
00:33:02,235 --> 00:33:04,595
Speaker 1: bit someone. But we could not understand how she figured

490
00:33:04,875 --> 00:33:09,475
Speaker 1: out he didn't act sorry. Mother used to send a

491
00:33:09,515 --> 00:33:12,395
Speaker 1: box of candy every Christmas to the people. The Airdale

492
00:33:12,435 --> 00:33:18,155
Speaker 1: bit list finally contained forty or more names. Nobody could

493
00:33:18,235 --> 00:33:20,115
Speaker 1: understand why we did not get rid of the dog.

494
00:33:20,195 --> 00:33:22,595
Speaker 1: I didn't understand it very well myself, but we didn't

495
00:33:22,635 --> 00:33:26,355
Speaker 1: get rid of him. I think that one or two

496
00:33:26,435 --> 00:33:30,795
Speaker 1: people tried to poison Mugs. He acted poisoned once in

497
00:33:30,795 --> 00:33:34,875
Speaker 1: a while, and old Major Moberly fired at him once

498
00:33:34,915 --> 00:33:37,955
Speaker 1: with his service revolver near the Seneca Hotel and He's

499
00:33:37,955 --> 00:33:42,075
Speaker 1: Broad Street. But Muggs lived to almost eleven years old,

500
00:33:42,115 --> 00:33:44,195
Speaker 1: and even when he could hardly get around, he bit

501
00:33:44,235 --> 00:33:48,475
Speaker 1: a congressman who had called to see my father on business.

502
00:33:49,395 --> 00:33:53,075
Speaker 1: My mother had never liked the congressman. She said the

503
00:33:53,115 --> 00:33:56,555
Speaker 1: signs of his horoscope showed he couldn't be trusted. He

504
00:33:56,675 --> 00:34:00,115
Speaker 1: was Saturn with the moon and Virgo. But she sent

505
00:34:00,195 --> 00:34:02,915
Speaker 1: him a box of candy that Christmas. Anyway, he sent

506
00:34:02,995 --> 00:34:07,035
Speaker 1: it right back because he suspected it was trick candy.

507
00:34:08,435 --> 00:34:10,835
Speaker 1: Mother persuaded herself that it was all for the best

508
00:34:10,875 --> 00:34:12,995
Speaker 1: that the dog had bitten him, even though father lost

509
00:34:12,995 --> 00:34:16,075
Speaker 1: an important business association because of it. I wouldn't be

510
00:34:16,155 --> 00:34:20,075
Speaker 1: associated with such a man. Mother said. Mugs could read

511
00:34:20,155 --> 00:34:24,715
Speaker 1: him lack a book. We used to take turns feeding

512
00:34:24,835 --> 00:34:27,435
Speaker 1: mugs to be on his good side, but that didn't

513
00:34:27,435 --> 00:34:30,155
Speaker 1: always work. He was never in a very good humor,

514
00:34:30,195 --> 00:34:33,475
Speaker 1: even after a meal. Nobody knew exactly what was the

515
00:34:33,515 --> 00:34:37,235
Speaker 1: matter with him, but whatever it was, it made him irascible,

516
00:34:37,435 --> 00:34:42,075
Speaker 1: especially in the mornings. Roy my brother, never felt very

517
00:34:42,075 --> 00:34:44,515
Speaker 1: well in the morning either, especially before breakfast. And once

518
00:34:44,595 --> 00:34:48,195
Speaker 1: when he came downstairs and found that Mugs had moodily

519
00:34:48,315 --> 00:34:51,475
Speaker 1: chewed up the morning paper, he hit him in the

520
00:34:51,515 --> 00:34:54,795
Speaker 1: face with a grapefruit and then jumped up on the

521
00:34:54,835 --> 00:34:59,115
Speaker 1: dining room table, scattering dishes and silverware and spilling the

522
00:34:59,155 --> 00:35:03,475
Speaker 1: coffee mugs. First free leap carried him all the way

523
00:35:03,475 --> 00:35:06,715
Speaker 1: across the table and into a brass fire screen in

524
00:35:06,715 --> 00:35:09,195
Speaker 1: front of the gas grate. But he was back on

525
00:35:09,235 --> 00:35:10,675
Speaker 1: his feet in a moment, and in the end he

526
00:35:10,755 --> 00:35:12,915
Speaker 1: got roy and gave him a pretty vicious bite in

527
00:35:12,955 --> 00:35:16,235
Speaker 1: the leg. Then he was all over it. He never

528
00:35:16,275 --> 00:35:19,835
Speaker 1: bid anyone more than once at a time. Mother always

529
00:35:19,835 --> 00:35:23,115
Speaker 1: mentioned that as an argument in his favor. She said

530
00:35:23,235 --> 00:35:25,555
Speaker 1: he had a quick temper, but that he didn't hold

531
00:35:25,555 --> 00:35:29,995
Speaker 1: a grudge. She was forever defending him. I think she

532
00:35:30,195 --> 00:35:34,475
Speaker 1: liked him because he wasn't well. He's not strong, she

533
00:35:34,555 --> 00:35:39,555
Speaker 1: would say pityingly, but that was inaccurate. He may not

534
00:35:39,635 --> 00:35:44,595
Speaker 1: have been well, but he was terribly strong. One time

535
00:35:44,635 --> 00:35:47,435
Speaker 1: my mother went to the Chittenden Hotel to call on

536
00:35:47,475 --> 00:35:50,915
Speaker 1: a woman mental healer who was lecturing in Columbus on

537
00:35:50,955 --> 00:35:55,315
Speaker 1: the subject of harmonious vibrations. She wanted to find out

538
00:35:55,315 --> 00:35:58,755
Speaker 1: if it was possible to get harmonious vibrations into a dog.

539
00:35:59,435 --> 00:36:04,595
Speaker 1: He's a large, tan colored airdale. Mother explained. The woman's

540
00:36:04,675 --> 00:36:07,155
Speaker 1: said that she had never treated a dog, but she

541
00:36:07,275 --> 00:36:10,315
Speaker 1: advised my mother to hold the thought that he did

542
00:36:10,395 --> 00:36:14,595
Speaker 1: not bite and would not bite. Mother was holding the

543
00:36:14,635 --> 00:36:17,075
Speaker 1: thought the very next morning when Muggs got the iceman,

544
00:36:17,755 --> 00:36:20,715
Speaker 1: But she blamed that slip up on the iceman. If

545
00:36:20,755 --> 00:36:23,875
Speaker 1: you didn't think he would bite you, he wouldn't, Mother

546
00:36:23,955 --> 00:36:26,475
Speaker 1: told him. He stomped out of the house in a

547
00:36:26,595 --> 00:36:32,395
Speaker 1: terrible jangle of vibrations. One morning, when Mugs bit me

548
00:36:32,555 --> 00:36:34,995
Speaker 1: slightly more or less in passing, I reached down and

549
00:36:35,035 --> 00:36:38,715
Speaker 1: grabbed his short, stumpy tail and hoisted him into the air.

550
00:36:39,955 --> 00:36:42,955
Speaker 1: It was a foolhardy thing to do. And the last

551
00:36:42,955 --> 00:36:45,195
Speaker 1: time I saw my mother, about six months ago, she

552
00:36:45,275 --> 00:36:49,155
Speaker 1: said she didn't know what possessed me. I don't either,

553
00:36:49,315 --> 00:36:52,155
Speaker 1: except that I was pretty mad. As long as I

554
00:36:52,235 --> 00:36:54,355
Speaker 1: held the dog off the floor by his tail, he

555
00:36:54,395 --> 00:36:56,995
Speaker 1: couldn't get at me. But he twisted and jerked so

556
00:36:57,315 --> 00:37:01,035
Speaker 1: snarling all the time that I realized I couldn't hold

557
00:37:01,115 --> 00:37:04,155
Speaker 1: him that way very long, and I carried him into

558
00:37:04,155 --> 00:37:06,755
Speaker 1: the kitchen, flung him onto the floor, and shut the

559
00:37:06,795 --> 00:37:09,995
Speaker 1: door on him just as he crashed against it. But

560
00:37:10,555 --> 00:37:14,915
Speaker 1: I forgot about the backstairs. Mugs went up the backstairs

561
00:37:15,315 --> 00:37:17,875
Speaker 1: and down the front stairs and had me cornered in

562
00:37:17,915 --> 00:37:20,675
Speaker 1: the living room. I managed to get up out of

563
00:37:20,715 --> 00:37:24,075
Speaker 1: the mantelpiece above the fireplace, but it gave way and

564
00:37:24,155 --> 00:37:28,275
Speaker 1: came down with a tremendous crash, throwing a large marble clock,

565
00:37:28,675 --> 00:37:34,155
Speaker 1: several vases, and myself heavily to the floor. Mugs was

566
00:37:34,195 --> 00:37:36,835
Speaker 1: so alarmed by the racket that when I picked myself up,

567
00:37:36,875 --> 00:37:40,395
Speaker 1: he had disappeared. We couldn't find him anywhere, although we

568
00:37:40,435 --> 00:37:45,195
Speaker 1: whistled and shouted until old Missus Dettweiler called after dinner

569
00:37:45,195 --> 00:37:48,955
Speaker 1: that night. Mugs had bitten her once in the leg,

570
00:37:49,075 --> 00:37:50,955
Speaker 1: and she came into the living room only after we

571
00:37:51,035 --> 00:37:55,035
Speaker 1: assured her that Mugs had run away. She had just

572
00:37:55,195 --> 00:37:59,035
Speaker 1: seated herself when with great growling and scratching of claws,

573
00:37:59,195 --> 00:38:03,395
Speaker 1: Mugs emerged from under a davenport where he had been

574
00:38:03,475 --> 00:38:07,435
Speaker 1: quietly hiding all all the time and bit her again.

575
00:38:09,355 --> 00:38:11,915
Speaker 1: Mother examined the bite and put arnica on it and

576
00:38:11,915 --> 00:38:14,715
Speaker 1: told Missus Dettwiler that it was only a bruise. He

577
00:38:14,995 --> 00:38:19,715
Speaker 1: just bumped you, she said. But Missus Dettwiler left our

578
00:38:19,755 --> 00:38:23,835
Speaker 1: house in a nasty state of mind. Lots of people

579
00:38:23,915 --> 00:38:26,795
Speaker 1: reported our airdale to the police, but my father held

580
00:38:26,835 --> 00:38:29,155
Speaker 1: a municipal office at the time and was on friendly

581
00:38:29,275 --> 00:38:32,795
Speaker 1: terms with the police. Even so, the cops had been

582
00:38:32,835 --> 00:38:36,035
Speaker 1: out a couple of times, once when Mugs bit Missus

583
00:38:36,115 --> 00:38:40,115
Speaker 1: rufus Sturtevent and again when he bit Lieutenant Governor Molloy.

584
00:38:41,075 --> 00:38:43,275
Speaker 1: But Mother told him it hadn't been Muggs's fault, but

585
00:38:43,355 --> 00:38:46,035
Speaker 1: the fault of the people who were bitten. When he

586
00:38:46,115 --> 00:38:50,755
Speaker 1: starts for them, they scream, she explained, and that excites him.

587
00:38:51,675 --> 00:38:53,835
Speaker 1: The cops suggested that it might be a good idea

588
00:38:53,875 --> 00:38:56,275
Speaker 1: to tie the dog up, but Mother said that it

589
00:38:56,515 --> 00:38:59,155
Speaker 1: mortified him to be tied up, and that he wouldn't

590
00:38:59,155 --> 00:39:03,075
Speaker 1: eat when he was tied up. Mugs at his meals

591
00:39:03,115 --> 00:39:05,595
Speaker 1: was an unusual site because of the fact that if

592
00:39:05,635 --> 00:39:10,315
Speaker 1: you reached toward the floor, he would bite you. We

593
00:39:10,435 --> 00:39:12,515
Speaker 1: usually put his food plate on top of an old

594
00:39:12,595 --> 00:39:15,835
Speaker 1: kitchen table with a bench alongside the table. Mugs would

595
00:39:15,875 --> 00:39:19,475
Speaker 1: stand on the bench and eat. I remember that my

596
00:39:19,555 --> 00:39:23,275
Speaker 1: mother's uncle, Horatio, who boasted that he was the third

597
00:39:23,355 --> 00:39:28,515
Speaker 1: man up Missionary Ridge, was flutteringly indignant when he found

598
00:39:28,555 --> 00:39:30,915
Speaker 1: out that we fed the dog on a table because

599
00:39:30,915 --> 00:39:33,835
Speaker 1: we were afraid to put his plate on the floor.

600
00:39:34,355 --> 00:39:36,595
Speaker 1: He said he wasn't afraid of any dog that ever lived,

601
00:39:36,635 --> 00:39:38,355
Speaker 1: and that he would put the dog's plate on the

602
00:39:38,355 --> 00:39:41,395
Speaker 1: floor if we would give it to him. Roy said

603
00:39:41,395 --> 00:39:44,035
Speaker 1: that if Uncle Horatio had fed Mugs on the ground

604
00:39:44,115 --> 00:39:46,355
Speaker 1: just before the battle, he would have been the first

605
00:39:46,395 --> 00:39:52,675
Speaker 1: man up Missionary ridge. Uncle Horatio was furious. Ray amen,

606
00:39:53,195 --> 00:39:58,755
Speaker 1: bray amen, Now, he shouted, I'll feed them on the floor.

607
00:40:00,435 --> 00:40:02,635
Speaker 1: Roy was all forgiving him a chance, but my father

608
00:40:02,675 --> 00:40:04,795
Speaker 1: wouldn't hear of it. He said that Mugs had already

609
00:40:04,835 --> 00:40:10,955
Speaker 1: bin fed. I'll feed him again, bawled Uncle Horatio. We

610
00:40:11,035 --> 00:40:15,275
Speaker 1: had quite a time quieting him. In his last year.

611
00:40:15,835 --> 00:40:18,955
Speaker 1: Muggs used to spend practically all of his time outdoors.

612
00:40:19,595 --> 00:40:21,195
Speaker 1: He didn't like to stay in the house for some

613
00:40:21,235 --> 00:40:24,275
Speaker 1: reason or other. Perhaps it held too many unpleasant memories

614
00:40:24,275 --> 00:40:26,995
Speaker 1: for him. Anyway, it was hard to get him to

615
00:40:27,035 --> 00:40:29,635
Speaker 1: come in, and as a result, the garbage man, the iceman,

616
00:40:29,715 --> 00:40:33,595
Speaker 1: and the laundryman would not come near our house. We

617
00:40:33,635 --> 00:40:36,115
Speaker 1: had to haul the garbage down to the corner, take

618
00:40:36,155 --> 00:40:38,235
Speaker 1: the laundry out and bring it back and meet the

619
00:40:38,275 --> 00:40:42,155
Speaker 1: iceman a block from home. After this had gone on

620
00:40:42,235 --> 00:40:45,115
Speaker 1: for some time, we hit on an ingenious arrangement for

621
00:40:45,155 --> 00:40:47,635
Speaker 1: getting the dog in the house so that we could

622
00:40:47,635 --> 00:40:50,675
Speaker 1: lock him up while the gas meter was red and

623
00:40:50,715 --> 00:40:58,115
Speaker 1: so on. Muggs was afraid of only one thing, an

624
00:40:58,435 --> 00:41:04,155
Speaker 1: electrical storm. Thunder and lightning frightened him out of his senses.

625
00:41:04,675 --> 00:41:07,515
Speaker 1: I think he thought a storm had broken the day

626
00:41:07,555 --> 00:41:10,955
Speaker 1: the mantelpiece fell. He would rush into the house and

627
00:41:11,035 --> 00:41:13,635
Speaker 1: hide under a bed or in a clothes closet. So

628
00:41:14,315 --> 00:41:17,115
Speaker 1: we fixed up a thunder machine out of a long,

629
00:41:17,275 --> 00:41:19,875
Speaker 1: narrow piece of sheet iron with a wooden handle on

630
00:41:19,875 --> 00:41:23,795
Speaker 1: one end. Mother would shake this vigorously when she wanted

631
00:41:23,795 --> 00:41:26,355
Speaker 1: to get Mugs into the house. It made an excellent

632
00:41:26,355 --> 00:41:29,035
Speaker 1: imitation of thunder, but I suppose it was the most

633
00:41:29,155 --> 00:41:32,875
Speaker 1: roundabout system for running a household that was ever devised.

634
00:41:33,515 --> 00:41:36,955
Speaker 1: It took a lot out of mother. A few months

635
00:41:36,995 --> 00:41:41,795
Speaker 1: before Mugs died, he got to seeing things. He would

636
00:41:41,955 --> 00:41:47,835
Speaker 1: rise slowly from the floor, growling low and stalk, stiff

637
00:41:47,915 --> 00:41:54,795
Speaker 1: legged and menacing toward nothing at all. Sometimes the thing

638
00:41:54,915 --> 00:41:57,875
Speaker 1: would be just a little to the right or left

639
00:41:57,995 --> 00:42:01,915
Speaker 1: of a visitor. Once a fuller brush salesman got hysterics,

640
00:42:02,795 --> 00:42:05,715
Speaker 1: Mugs came wandering into the room like Hamlet following his

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00:42:05,755 --> 00:42:08,795
Speaker 1: father's ghost. His eyes were fixed on a spot just

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Speaker 1: to the left of the fuller brush man, who stood

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00:42:11,875 --> 00:42:16,515
Speaker 1: it until Muggs was about three slow creeping paces from him.

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00:42:16,715 --> 00:42:21,235
Speaker 1: Then he shouted. Muggs wavered on past him into the hallway,

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00:42:21,315 --> 00:42:24,155
Speaker 1: grumbling to himself, but the fuller man went on shouting.

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00:42:24,715 --> 00:42:26,675
Speaker 1: I think Mother had to throw a pan of cold

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00:42:26,795 --> 00:42:29,915
Speaker 1: water on him before he stopped. That was the way

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00:42:29,915 --> 00:42:32,275
Speaker 1: she used to stop us boys when we got into fights.

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00:42:33,755 --> 00:42:37,595
Speaker 1: Muggs died quite suddenly one night. Mother wanted to bury

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00:42:37,715 --> 00:42:40,115
Speaker 1: him in the family lot under a marble stone with

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00:42:40,155 --> 00:42:43,315
Speaker 1: some such inscription as flights of angels sing thee to

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00:42:43,435 --> 00:42:46,755
Speaker 1: thy rest, but we persuaded her it was against the law.

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00:42:48,315 --> 00:42:50,355
Speaker 1: In the end we just put up a smooth board

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00:42:50,395 --> 00:42:54,275
Speaker 1: above his grave along a lonely road. On the board

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00:42:54,315 --> 00:43:00,315
Speaker 1: I wrote with an indelible pencil, tave Kanum. Mother was

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00:43:00,395 --> 00:43:04,115
Speaker 1: quite pleased with the simple, classic dignity of the old

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00:43:04,315 --> 00:43:20,595
Speaker 1: Latin epitaph The Dog that Bit People by James Thurber.

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00:43:24,355 --> 00:43:26,155
Speaker 1: I've done all the damage I can do here. Thank

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Speaker 1: you for listening. Countdown has come to you from our

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Speaker 1: studios high on top the Sports Capsule Building in New York.

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Speaker 1: Here are the credits. Most of the music was arranged,

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Speaker 1: produced and performed by Brian Ray and John Phillip Shanelle,

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00:43:37,595 --> 00:43:41,275
Speaker 1: who are the Countdown musical directors. All orchestration and keyboards

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00:43:41,275 --> 00:43:44,395
Speaker 1: by John Phillip Shanel, guitars based and drums by Brian Ray,

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00:43:44,475 --> 00:43:47,995
Speaker 1: produced by Tko Brothers. Other Beethoven selections have been arranged

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00:43:48,035 --> 00:43:51,155
Speaker 1: and performed by No Horns Aloud. The sports music is

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00:43:51,195 --> 00:43:54,235
Speaker 1: the Olderman theme from ESPN two, written by Mitch Warren

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00:43:54,315 --> 00:43:58,115
Speaker 1: Davis courtesy of ESPN, Inc. Musical comments by Nancy Fauss.

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00:43:58,155 --> 00:44:01,195
Speaker 1: The best baseball stadium organist ever. Our announcer today was

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00:44:01,235 --> 00:44:04,635
Speaker 1: my friend Larry David. Everything else is pretty much my fault.

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00:44:05,355 --> 00:44:07,475
Speaker 1: Thanks Countdown for this the nine hundred and fifty fourth

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00:44:07,595 --> 00:44:10,875
Speaker 1: day since Donald Trump's first attempted coup against the democratically

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00:44:10,915 --> 00:44:13,955
Speaker 1: elected government of the United States. Arrest him again while

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00:44:13,995 --> 00:44:17,755
Speaker 1: we still can. The next scheduled countdown is tomorrow, Bolton says.

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00:44:17,755 --> 00:44:20,635
Speaker 1: The news warrants till then. I'm Keith Ouldraman, Good morning,

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00:44:20,675 --> 00:44:39,315
Speaker 1: good afternoon, good night, and good luck. You did not

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00:44:39,875 --> 00:44:52,835
Speaker 1: you came in recculate multiple. Countdown with Keith Olderman is

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Speaker 1: a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit

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00:44:57,715 --> 00:45:01,635
Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your

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00:45:01,675 --> 00:45:02,395
Speaker 1: podcasts